#and happy healthy same sex romance? i mean... its still a rare thing even now | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

passionate-reply · 3 years

Video

youtube

Have you and Telex met somewhere before? If not, you may want to make their acquaintance. This delightfully irreverent Belgian electro-disco trio came in next to last at 1980′s Eurovision Song Contest. And then they did an album featuring English lyrics by Sparks’ Ron and Russel Mael! Find out all about what makes this record tick, in this week’s installment of Great Albums. Full transcript below the break...

Welcome to Passionate Reply, and welcome to Great Albums! It’s time to break outside the Anglosphere, and take a look at one of the finest synth-pop acts to come from Belgium: the irreverent post-disco trio of Telex. Telex were, in fact, so European that they were sent to that most European of institutions, the Eurovision Song Contest, in the year 1980, in what was perhaps their finest hour in the spotlight.

Music: “Eurovision”

While many contemporary listeners may find “Eurovision” amusing, it actually didn’t go over well in the contest itself, and Telex managed to place second to last on behalf of the Belgian people, losing even the (arguably) more illustrious last place to Finland. It was one of the earliest true “joke entries,” so perhaps the masses weren’t ready for this approach yet. Despite its generally upbeat sound, I think the lyrics of “Eurovision” come across as really quite harsh--and the song’s availability in both English and French meant that plenty of people understood them. Mocking the financial instability of Italy and, apparently, anyone dumb enough to tune into Eurovision, there’s really a rather condescending, perhaps even cruel, sensibility about it. A conspicuous reference to the Berlin Wall, a symbol of some of Europe’s deepest divisions and greatest political turmoil, gives it an extra nudge towards feeling rather contextually inappropriate. Telex’s “Eurovision” might just be the most cynical or anti-European song ever entered...at least up until Hatari of Iceland gave us the thunderous industrial anthem “Hatrið Mun Sigra,” in 2019.

Telex’s follow-up to this “incident” is, in my opinion, where their career starts to really get interesting. While it isn’t that heavily advertised, 1981’s Sex was actually something of a collaboration album, featuring English-language lyrics on all tracks which were contributed by Ron and Russell Mael of Sparks. Given the recent resurgence of interest in Sparks spurred by Edgar Wright’s documentary on them, I figure now is as good a time as ever to revisit this somewhat lesser-known work in the Sparks catalogue--or, at least, with one foot in the Sparks catalogue.

In my opinion, Sex takes the better aspects of both of these groups and combines them into something that feels like more than the sum of its parts. Telex’s soft, yet sprightly synth arrangements have as much fun and flair as those of fellow Sparks collaborator Giorgio Moroder, and feel more substantive and organic than Sparks’ many attempts to play with various genres in which they remained outsider dilettantes. Likewise, the Mael brothers’ lyricism is a major improvement to the often clunky English offered by previous efforts by the Belgians. Recontextualized amidst a sea of dreamy Euro-pop, and delivered by Telex’s suave yet unassuming vocalist Michel Moers, the same style of lyricism that often makes Sparks feel crass and overwrought to me becomes transmuted into something I’m much more amenable to. Much like Devo, I’ve often found the “smartest guys in the room” vibe of Sparks a bit off-putting, but Sex has a certain subtlety or ambiguity about it, that keeps me coming back and pondering it.

Music: “Dummy”

The feel-good, squelching bass grooves of “Dummy” recall the most affable work of the seminal Yellow Magic Orchestra, and a falsetto hook that’s to die for marks it as one of the more pop-oriented tracks on the album. Had it stopped at “Dummy, hey, I’m talking to you,” it would be not only less interesting musically, but also conceptually; the overt questioning, “now who’s the dumb one?”, rescues it from simply being mean. I like to think it calls to mind the archetype of the fool who is constantly vocally doubting the intelligence of others, in an attempt to cover for their own insecurities. While it’s a comparatively simple track, lyrically, it establishes some of the album’s most important themes, portraying traditional “intelligence” as mutable, and perhaps questionable. Despite its appeal, “Dummy” was actually not included on the original tracklisting of the album, but rather debuted as the B-side to the single “Brainwash,” before receiving this promotion in later revisions of the LP. In this rare case, I actually think the later edition is superior, and it’s the one I’d recommend.

Music: “Brainwash”

Besides just sharing opposite sides of the same single, there’s also a strong thematic connection between “Dummy” and the slower-paced, narrative-driven “Brainwash.” Arguably the most high-concept track to be had on Sex, “Brainwash” tells the tale of an intellectual who willingly forfeits his intelligence for the sake of falling in love. That, in and of itself, is a take on the love song that I’ve never heard before. We all know the trope that being in love makes one stupid--our word “infatuation” is basically Latin for “being made stupid.” But “Brainwash” suggests that, given the choice, we might well be better off as fools rushing in. What good is a life full of knowledge if it is one without passion, and deeper humanity? The narrator of “Brainwash” seems fully cognizant of what they abandon, and makes an informed decision to do so. But what complicates things even further is the development that the object of the narrator’s affections seems desperate to make them regain their prior book smarts--perhaps a commentary on how society frames this issue, and its willingness to prioritize the prestige of education over genuine human happiness. The single “Haven’t We Met Somewhere Before?” explores a related, but also distinct tension between knowledge and happiness.

Music: “Haven’t We Met Somewhere Before?”

Moreso than anything else on the album, “Haven’t We Met Somewhere Before?” is really sort of harrowing. Moers’s falsetto feels less like a fun disco aftershock and more like a cry of pain, and the stilted melody and more brash synthesiser stabs establish an air of unease--though still not so strong that it feels out of place alongside lighter tracks like “Brainwash.” Its lyrical narrative is plainly a tragic one, with a narrator who thinks he’s encountered his wife, but can’t quite piece it together, or get the response that he’s looking for. It’s evocative of the very real agony a sufferer of dementia and their loved ones might face, losing their memories, and, with them, their connection to the people around them. But perhaps the most eerie thing about the track is that it never does dip into more maudlin territory, even if it feels like it ought to. In the full context of the album, and particularly the sentiment expressed by “Brainwash,” we’re forced to question just how unfortunate the tale expressed in this song is. Perhaps “Haven’t We Met Somewhere Before?” is also suggesting that love is more powerful than knowledge, in its own way. Perhaps the characters it presents have transcended the need for knowledge of their shared history, because their bond is deeper and more primal than that? Similarly subversive questions about love are also posed by “Exercise Is Good For You.”

Music: “Exercise Is Good For You”

With a pleasingly abrasive, textured synth line and a rather singable refrain, “Exercise Is Good For You” is the one track cut from the later version of the album that I do find myself missing. This track’s narrator has devoted themselves to exercising--perhaps over-exercising--in the wake of a bad break-up. At first blush, it may seem a bit absurd, but this is a real-life coping mechanism, and one that can potentially be quite dangerous, particularly as it’s often combined with eating disorders. The potential for peril is compounded by the notion that, well, “exercise is good for you,” and that in a world where too few of us partake, anyone who does must be doing the best for their health. While it doesn’t deal with the realm of knowledge, I do think “Exercise Is Good For You” works in a similar space as tracks like “Brainwash” and “Haven’t We Met Somewhere Before?” do, offering an ambiguous narrative that asks us to question something we habitually value--in this case, by portraying the apparent virtue of physical fitness in a darker and less healthy light.

Earlier, I referred to this album simply as Sex, but for the UK market, it was re-christened Birds & Bees. There is obviously something quite transgressive and irreverent about naming a pop album “Sex”! We like to think of pop music as trading chiefly in themes of love and romance, so the title Sex functions as a bit of a “low blow,” suggesting that we ought to think more cynically about “what’s really going on below.” Despite this, there’s really not a lot of terribly bawdy tracks to be had on either version of the album, which may come as some surprise if you’re familiar with their early track “Pakmoväst.” I think the fact that the album title was changed, and seemingly “censored” with the very knowing title Birds & Bees, only adds to its transgressiveness, and lends it a certain allure of the forbidden.

You won’t find birds or bees on the cover of the album, however, but rather a butterfly, feeding off the nectar of two large flowers. It’s certainly an image that can be read as evocative of sensuality, with yonic visual overtones. Perhaps more overtly offensive to the eye is its queasy, dull yellow colour scheme, which is actually much more stuck in the 70s than the rather sharp and with-it electro-disco stylings of the music.

Historically, the butterfly is often used as a symbol of innocence, particularly with respect to the carnal knowledge of sex. In François Gérard’s depiction of the mythological heroine Psyche, a butterfly hovers above the subject, as she receives her first kiss from her lover, Cupid, a god of lust and sexual desire. The suggestion of youthful innocence is only heightened when the title Birds & Bees is applied. We might also consider the similarity between the idea of naivete or innocence as a virtue, and the apparent thrust of tracks like “Brainwash,” which also challenge the utility and benefit of knowledge about the world.

Telex would go on to release three more LPs after this one, and while they never quite surpassed a cult following, they keep up with the times quite respectably, incorporating sampling and digital synth textures without losing their signature levity and playfulness. I think they’re well worth a listen if you’re interested so far.

Music: “Raised By Snakes”

My favourite track on this album is one that’s exclusive to the later release, and never appeared anywhere else: “Mata Hari,” which was not only added to the album, but given the prominent position as its opening track. Mata Hari was actually a real person, a courtesan famous for her exotic dances inspired by her time in the Dutch East Indies. But she became caught up in the political storm of the First World War, and the French government convicted her of spying for the Germans--even though many believed she was framed. After her execution for the alleged crime, her severed head was embalmed and displayed in a Parisian museum, for all to gawk at...until it mysteriously went missing, possibly stolen by an “admirer.” It’s a strange and tragic tale, for sure, and one suitably treated with a sense of mystery and uncertainty by the song. An undoubtedly complex and controversial figure, Mata Hari can be seen as a symbol of European disunity, not unlike the Berlin Wall, as well as a representation of sensuality used for devious and destructive ends. I think this track enriches the album’s themes while also feeling somewhat separate, with its more pensive mood and third-person lyricism. That’s everything for today--thanks, as always, for listening!

Music: “Mata Hari”

#music #album review #album reviews #telex #sparks #ron mael #russel mael #eurovision #eurovision song contest

10 notes · View notes

chuckbass-love · 4 years

Text

Why Him? | Ransom Drysdale | Part 10

A/N : A little earlier than promised but hope you enjoy

Disclaimer: My work is not to be posted anywhere else other than my Tumblr, Wattpad and Ao3. However, reblogs are welcome.

Why Him? MASTERLIST

Claudia’s POV

“I think you have some gossip to share” the familiar voice calls out. I look up “LUCY” we hug instantly, “Sit down. Strap yourself in girl” she giggles as she takes a seat on the chair in front of my desk. “Okay so the sex is a story for another time but anyways he rented out this Italian restaurant just for me and him” her smile is forming, close to bursting with excitement.

“Then a couple days after that, i met his family. I know it might seem a bit rushed but it just happened and i ended up having a big blowout with his uncle. Trust me when i tell you he’s a prick. Then we went back to his after and he asked me to be his girlfriend” and with that, she loses her self-control. Squealing away.

“So before we get into any of that, how is it?” knowing exactly what she means, i reply “On fucking point. Everything from the oral to the size of his. You know” we have to be careful what we talk about in the office. Ashley is pretty laid back but if he heard this conversation, we’d be in trouble.

“So... He’s a good fuck, a pretty boy and he’s romantic?” she asks, making a mental note in her head of all of his good points. “I see no cons in this man” i chuckle “well his family. Excluding his parents and grandad. His family are obnoxious and rude. His uncle asked me if he was paying me to be with him” she hangs her mouth open in shock. “I know. It’s disgusting. He apologised the next day though, which isn’t the point” she just shakes her head as i tell her all the details of that night.

Our gossip session is soon interrupted as Ashley knocks my door. Lucy stands up instantly, heading out to her desk. “So how did you find it?” he asks, i furrow my brows in confusion before realising what he meant. “Oh, Fashion Week? It was the best experience of my life. I’m forever grateful for the opportunity” he smiles, sitting on the edge of my desk. “It’s all part of the promotion. It was well deserved” i thank him again and he exits. I can’t help but feel like he wanted to ask me something but i brush it off and go about my day. Wishing for home time to roll around so i can kick these heels off. Eventually it does.

I leave the office and stroll onto the streets. My phone buzzes ‘I’m in the carpark doll’ i reply quickly ‘on my way’.

I reach the carpark and see him leant against the beamer. Grinning at me. “Hi, how’re you? and how was work?” he kisses my forehead, helping me into the passenger side. “It was good, got to catch up with Lucy which was long overdue” he smiles as he turns the key in the ignition. “I’m glad you had a good day. Listen, what are the plans for tonight?” he begins to drive to my place. I want nothing more than to spend the night with him again but i need some alone time.

My ex Jordan never allowed it, he claimed i was selfish for wanting it. So i’m naturally nervous to say this to Ransom. “Um, if it’s okay i was thinking i’ll just have some alone time, not that i’m tired of you i just-” he interrupts “Baby, that’s fine. You don’t have to explain yourself. I don’t expect you to be with me every second of everyday” he explains, moving his hand to its rightful spot. On my thigh.

Finally home, i kick my heels off and head to the refrigerator to grab a snack and some much needed wine. I pour myself a glass and head up to the bathroom. A bubble bath is also essential. This is my idea of heaven, this and being with Ransom in bed. I try to stop my mind wondering, going over all the things he did to me the other night. I can’t stop it. I feel this hunger in my stomach and i’m not hungry for food.

I brush it off and get into the bath.

It’s not healthy to live in each other’s pockets. It’s been a whirlwind romance from the get go. Each interaction made me want him more. But we all need alone time. I’m so glad he understood. If this were Jordan, there’d have been a row. I roll my eyes at the painful memories and sip my wine.

I step out of the bath, wrapping a towel round my body. I hear my phone ring in the distance, as i come closer i see it’s a FaceTime call from my mother. “Hi mom” i greet as i rest my phone down so i can change. “Hi love” i’ve not spoken to my parents in a couple weeks, not properly anyways. We text but rarely get the time to call.

“So how was Fashion Week? i wanna hear all about it” i shove on a New England Patriots jersey and fall onto my bed. “It was incredible mo,, being over there is like a whole other lifestyle. It was definitely a challenge but it was worthwhile” she beams at me. That proud mother look radiating off of her.

“Did you attend some of the parties?” she asks, a hint of worry in her voice “I did but not like that. I only had one drink and the only time i get drunk is with the gang every other Saturday” she nods “I know i know, i just worry. You know me” i give her a reassuring look.

“I feel like we’ve not seen each other in so long. Did you want to do lunch tomorrow when i’m on my lunch break?” her face lights up at the idea. She lives 30 miles away. “I’d love to, bring Lucy too. It’ll be a fun girly catch-up” she loves Lucy, they are practically the same person. “I’ll text but i’ve gotta go now. See you tomorrow”.

We hang and i text Lucy ‘BTW my mother is joining our lunch date tomorrow. She doesn’t about Ransom yet. I’ll tell her tomorrow but only the PG version’ send. ‘Omg i’ve missed Michelle so much. Ah i see, keep the R rated activities hush hush from mother dearest. Say no more’ i laugh at her response and then i head to the kitchen to get myself more snacks. I swear i don’t know how i haven’t gained weight from all this food i’ve consumed. I’m stuffing my face 24/7. If James were here right now he’d tell me to replace it with Ransom’s dick. His brain is pure filth all day every day.

*THE NEXT DAY*

I head into my office, setting my bag down on the floor and taking my coat off. I start shuffling through my paper work load for the day when Lucy barges in. “You got flowers” i look up to see a bouquet of flowers in her hands, my jaw dropping. They are beautiful.

‘Claudia,

Just some flowers to brighten up your day and office

Hope you love them

Lots of love doll

Ransom x’

“He’s literally the dream boyfriend. He gives you space but still likes to let you know that he’s thinking of you” she’s always been team Ransom. I don’t think that’s ever going to change. I place them on the table in my office, they do brighten the office up. ‘Thank you for flowers. They smell amazing and look even better’ i instantly get a response. ‘Glad you like them. They are beautiful just like you. Can’t wait to see you this weekend. Have the best day doll’ i grin to myself, placing my phone down to crack on with this pile of work.

Lunch time rolls around very fast. Time does go quickly when you’re occupied. Me and Lucy stroll towards the coffee shop. I spot my mom sat in the window waiting. “Mom” i’ve missed her so much. She pulls me into a tight hug then she moves onto Lucy “Lucy, it’s so nice to see you again” we all sit down once we have our food and drink. Oh and a slice of cake too.

“So what’s new with you Lucy?” i look over at her and is pot that smug smile. Oh no. She wouldn’t. “Not a dam thing but Claudia has a boyfriend” that bitch. “Thanks for that Luce. Yes i have a boyfriend” my mom starts clapping as she asks to see a photo. I know i only have one of me and Ransom. We took it on the second date in New York. I pull the picture up and hand my phone to her. She looks up and winks at me. She’s not a regular mom, she’s a cool mom.

“He’s very handsome” i roll my eyes with a smile on my face. “I know, god knows how i managed to get him” we all giggle. I know other girls like him and find him attractive. I see the way they look at him. It gives me an ego boost in a way. Makes me feel very good knowing i’m the one he kisses and i’m the one that get’s his time. I’m a lucky girl.

I start to tell my mom all about Ransom, spilling all of the tea. Except the steamy parts. I can tell her everything, I even told her when i lost my virginity but this isn’t the same. Home boy is rough in the bedroom department. To my mom, sex is something romantic and telling her about me calling Ransom daddy and him fucking me into oblivion isn’t exactly lunch time talk. Nor will it ever even be normal talk with her.

I look up and across the room, just daydreaming when i see someone i think i know. When i focus properly i realise it’s Jordan. Yes that’s right my ex-boyfriend Jordan. GREAT. I quickly nudge at Lucy and she looks over at him. He’s with a girl, a blonde. They seem like they are on a date. Good luck to the girl.

We finish up with our food and coffee and walk out of the coffee shop “You’ll have to come over and have dinner at my place with dad next week” i suggest “We’d love that. Maybe we can meet this boyfriend of yours” she’ll pounce on him if she does. We bid my mom goodbye and part ways on the sidewalk once we agree to make plans.

Time to get back to my stack of paper work. It’s going to be a long week at the office. I can’t shake the thought of Jordan at the coffee shop though. He looked happy which i’m not one to get like this but after all he did to me, happiness is the last thing that man deserves.

22 notes · View notes

elesianne · 4 years

Text

A Silmarillion fanfic, chapter four of seven – Carnistir/Tuilindien

Chapter length: ~1,500 words; Story rating: Teenage audiences

Some keywords for the whole fic: romance, marriage, family, some fluff, some angst, implied sex, years of the trees

A/N: A less happy chapter. There are bad days in every relationship.

In this chapter, near the end, there are some lines from the lyrics from The Amazing Devil's exquisite love song Fair where the title of this fic is also from.

AO3 LINK

Chapter IV // Stormy days

There are stormy days, too, in between the days of bliss and comfort.

Literal autumn storms, which force Tuilindien to stay inside instead of spending love in her beloved orchard, are more common here in Tirion than on Taniquetil. On the slopes of the holy mountain Manwë's benevolence protects Ingwë's court from the harshest of his winds.

And there are the kind of storms that rage inside Carnistir.

Most of the time he can control them, and Tuilindien knows that he works hard to do so. He comes home late after clearing his head elsewhere, or expends his rage and energy by chopping firewood even though they have servants who would do it, or he goes to his study after a gruff apology and sits there in silence as the light around him mingles and changes. And when he does come to Tuilindien, the storm is mostly cleared, the rough waters of his mind not too difficult for the two of them to navigate.

But sometimes he comes home irritated and only grows more so as the evening goes on, and Tuilindien tires of being careful with him and grows quiet. And though he usually would, he does not notice, too preoccupied with his own vexations.

And then he snaps about something over dinner, about something which is not even her fault or in her control, and Tuilindien lays down her knife and fork, and says, her voice shaking in that way that she despises, 'If you are going to be like that tonight, Carnistir, I will cut this meal short and go visit Parmandil.'

He stops and stares at her and snarls, 'It's too late for visiting.'

'It's too angry here.'

Silence, and shame in their connection that both of them have tried their best to close.

'I didn't even shout', Carnistir says after a tense minute.

Tuilindien's knuckles are white from grasping her skirt. She cannot look at him when he says things like that, things that bring into too bright a light what he is used to, what are his standards for 'too angry' – or what they used to be anyway, and still bleed through.

'I am not going to wait here until you do.' She stands up, fully intending to leave. To go to her friend Parmandil's house or, if she is not home, to – to Indis, or to their own stables to sit down in a pile of straw and let Mirwannë snuffle at her. Anywhere but here.

Yet she tarries, moves slowly as if in an unwanted dream as she gathers her skirts in her hands and pushes her chair back.

More silence and shame from her husband on the other side of the table. And then the scraping of another pushed back violently.

'Stay', Carnistir says. 'I will go out and come back when I won't hurt you. I wouldn't mean to do it –'

'I know', she says, because she does.

'– But I might. I am sorry.'

And he is, he always is, but she still cannot breathe with all that anger in the air, choking and poisonous, only more so when it is directed at himself. She knew this about him when she promised herself to him, and she accepted it as part of him, but that does not mean she has to breathe in the same air as him when it is clouded by rage.

So she lets him leave, grateful that she doesn't have to be the one to go. He has many more places to go than her.

He has to walk to her side of the table to get out of the room. He comes close to her, not touching, and hesitates.

'I argued with Ontamo and was still angry about that when I came home', he admits gruffly. 'I'll go see him and resolve things with him. It was not fair of me to bring the argument home.'

'No', Tuilindien agrees, with as little accusation as she can. It is not very little. Her day had been good, and she'd looked forward to the time with him in the evening. 'Please don't come home when you are like that. No, do come home, always, it is your home too, but do not come at me with your anger when I am not even its cause.'

'I won't.' There is so light a touch to her arm that Tuilindien is not sure if she imagined it, and then it is gone, and so is Carnistir.

Tuilindien sits back down and leans back in her chair and drinks a glass of wine. She has no appetite for food.

So he fought with Ontamo, she thinks as she stares at Carnistir's half-eaten meal on the other side of the table.

Ontamo is Carnistir's closest friend, Tuilindien assumes, though Carnistir has never explicitly said so. He appears to be the only one who is not a family friend – most of Carnistir's friends are also friends of one or more of Carnistir's brothers. Carnistir and Ontamo were apprentices to the same stone-smith when they were only boys, and forged a bond during that time, Tuilindien has gathered. It is a bond that has weathered many disagreements over the years.

She hopes it will weather this one too.

When the light in the dining room begins to turn rather silver, and her glass of wine is empty, Tuilindien goes to get a cloak so she can wander in the garden in the cooling evening air.

There are few flowers in bloom now, the garden settling into winter's rest. Only lavaraldar trees still carry their pale flowers. Tuilindien has always loved these trees for their resilience even in the midst of winter. They rest for a short while, and then they bloom again, filling the air with their faint, sweet scent that brings restfulness.

She stands for a long time among the trees, doing little more than inhaling deeply.

She wonders if Carnistir is doing something similar, or if he is yelling at the top of his lungs.

Tuilindien is slipping into bed when he comes home. She has brought a book to the bedroom, which she rarely does since books tend not to get read there, but she leaves it on the nightstand and sits back against the headboard as she watches Carnistir strip himself in brisk movements that do not look too angry.

She can feel little from him besides shame, again. She is tired of it.

'Are you feeling better now?' she asks.

'Yes.' He yanks his undertunic up and over his head, and tosses it on the floor. Then he grimaces, bends down to pick the tunic up and places it neatly on the chair where he leaves his clothes every night.

'It was a stupid misunderstanding', he says. 'But I am quick to anger, and he is quick to indignation when his ideas are not appreciated, so we both got into a huff and parted when we should have kept talking.'

'I am glad that Ontamo and you cleared the air', Tuilindien replies carefully. 'I know that he is important to you.'

Carnistir sighs and sits down on the side of the bed. Tuilindien notices that he places himself so that he doesn't touch her. She feels the heat of him on her skin anyway, and misses it.

'He is', Carnistir says. 'Most of the time he is the best person to discuss my ideas with and to work alongside, whether on a shared project or on our own projects. He is less demanding than my father and less sarcastic than Curufinwë. But we both have a short temper and sometimes they flare at the same time and then we cannot just laugh it off.'

'Things are well now, though?' She doesn't mean only things with Ontamo.

They look at each other, properly in the eyes, for the first time since Carnistir came home with a dark cloud in his spirit.

'I will likely be half-grumpy for a while yet but things are well if my most beloved vanimelda is well', he says. 'Tuilë, I am sorry –'

She cannot help but say, 'I am tired of apologies. I always forgive you anyway. You did not mean to hurt me and you barely did before you left and gave me the space of our home.'

'You have fewer places that you could go here in Tirion', he says, and at that she opens her arms and welcomes him back to her, like she knows she always will, because she loves him beoynd reason and beoynd her understanding of herself and beoynd the borders of the world, though it is impossible. Beoynd the stars into darkness.

She brushes her hand through his hair as he clings to her, his frantic heartbeat calming down against her chest, and she thinks again, it is not fair how unreasonably in love I am with you, and, it is not fair how much I love you even when you make me ache.

Perhaps she thinks that at him, having unconsciously opened herself up to him again, because he mumbles into her hair, 'I love you to irrationality and back. I'll always come back to you and this home that we've created.'

A/N: Please note that I never claimed to write only healthy relationships. Tuilindien and Carnistir SHOULD not be taken as a model of what is good or acceptable in a marriage.

The next chapter includes a prompt fill for Alkarinque that I have previously posted on Tumblr, but I've added a lot to it. In the chapter, Carnistir and Tuilindien go on a journey. I'll update on Thursday.

As always, I appreciate and am delighted by reblogs and comments.

#silmarillion fanfiction #tolkien fanfiction #caranthir #caranthir's wife #tuilindien #your spirit calling out to mine #this life that we've created #my fics #elesianne's fics

6 notes · View notes

goldenornstein · 5 years

Text

My muse in a relationship + Shipping || HCs

How far are they willing to go for the person they love?

Very far.

Ornstein does not take love lightly. He does not see it as a fleeting thing or a whim. It’s a rare and precious sentiment to him, which warrants a great deal of care for the person he loves.

That said, being loved by a powerful and utterly ruthless individual has its dark side.

While he’ll be mindful to treat his beloved one with all gentleness, his actions towards anyone who seems like a threat to them might be frankly cruel, devastating, in an often merciless and definite manner.

There’s nothing wholesome or romantic about the awful things he’d be more than willing to do in the name of love.

What are their deal breakers?

Infidelity. Big one. Hits a nerve as it confirms his long-lived insecurity concerning being less than worthy of love and care. It’s also a betrayal of trust, which is always a problem in any kind of relationship. He will not forgive it, no second chances, simply because he’d find himself incapable of trusting that person again.

Marriage. For the most part. He swore an oath off marriage at the beginning of his service to Gwyn, as captain of his select knights, and he’s no intention of breaking it. Any relationships must be kept secret and private, or he’ll put an end to them. This does not mean Ornstein will be a lukewarm or selfish lover, though. Furthermore, he might prove to be caring, devoted, faithful and supportive far beyond the average of most proper husbands, without any need for a formal bond or external obligation.

Lack of care, respect or consideration. He doesn’t want to be coddled, at all. Actually, condescension is another big deal-breaker. But he does need to be treated with certain gentleness. He needs affection and occasional reassurance, even emotional support, given his many issues and anxiety. Nothing terribly taxing, but definitely not suited for a tactless, immature or less emotionally invested partner.

Are they a cuddler?

Yes. Ornstein is very fond of physical affection. He enjoys — needs — embraces, caresses and all kinds of tender touches. To him, it’s an important way to show and receive love.

Do they give their partners cute nicknames?

Nope. Ornstein is the kind of guy who uses proper names at all times. No short versions either. He finds the whole lot of it… lazy, in a way. Endearments, on the other hand, are common and used to convey appreciation for certain beloved characteristics or sentiments, always deliberately and heartfelt.

Do they believe in soul mates?

As in people meant to be romantically involved due to their souls being innately connected in their origin? Absolutely no, given his knowledge on how souls actually work and the fact that there’s plenty of very much non-romantic customs associated to them. Overall, Ornstein would think it’s ignorant and juvenile to reduce souls to a saccharine cliche. If anything, he’d say a true life partnership is formed through mutual understanding, support, trust, etc. as opposed as being a gratuitous metaphysical coincidence of sorts. Nonetheless, he might refer to a particularly beloved partner as someone who’s soul has become linked to his own — granted this could be in a literal way.

Do they tend to sleep better when in bed with their partner?

With a casual partner? No. He’d barely sleep, if at all. With a long-term partner? Yes. Absolutely. He’s a touch starved, cuddly disaster — there’s no other way to say it! He also struggles with insomnia and plenty of nightmares, so having someone there, someone he trust, might help with that.

do they have a type?

Ornstein tends to fall for people who are not like him, one way or another. People with qualities he doesn’t possess, or that he doesn’t think / feel he possess. Provided, he is definitely not opposed to some similarities and common interests, finding it incredibly frustrating when a partner is simply incapable of understanding and keeping up with him, or vice versa. It’s always much better and more significant to him when this compatibility generates from shared experiences over time, though.

In that sense, he doesn’t exactly have a pre-established type, but rather wishes to find a true partner in all senses and matters.

Physically, well, he isn’t fussy at all. Although, he has a reference for muscular and/or more voluptuous physiques.

are they prone to jealousy?

When it comes to committed relationships? Yes. Definitely. A jealousy born from his awful insecurity and abandonment issues. Ornstein is aware of this, though. He’s also aware that this feeling and the behavior it can trigger in him aren’t healthy, or even acceptable. So he will make a great effort to keep it under control, lest he hurts his partner.

Still, he will refrain from getting involved with people who seem prone to infidelity, or even to have many lovers at the same time / over time — even if it’s a consensual practice. Hence, poly-relationships are, for the most part, out of the question. All in the name of his own comfort and mental stability. Exceptions might apply, but only in a limited fashion and with people he can trust enough to let go of his own anxiety.

Then, actual infidelity towards him is an automatic and irrevocable deal-breaker, with a considerable loss of respect and consideration for the people involved.

If your muse is uncomfortable in a relationship, will they address the problem or keep quiet?

Relevant to all kinds of relationships, platonic or romantic.

And… well, this is a problem. A big, ugly, pitiful, unsympathetic problem.

I’ve talked about similar issues in this post.

Now, the answer to this depends on the timeline. Knight of Gwyn Ornstein will accept an enormous amount of detrimental treatment and lack of consideration towards his person. We’re talking about intimate, deeply significant relationships here, though, otherwise he’s extremely quick to put a hard limit. He feels unlovable, almost unworthy of having someone by his side. This basic self-esteem flaw leads him to either isolate or getting involved in unbalanced relationships with people who aren't the best for him.

Then, in verses where he leaves Anor Londo (even when corrupted by the Abyss) he starts developing a visceral rejection and anger towards this situation. Reasons why Ornstein will not accept siding with Light nor Dark political factions — he’s done with being used and taken for granted, be it for power or just out of lack of love/care/respect for him.

what is your muse’s love language?

Caring for others. Fighting alongside them. Sharing their struggles, victories and defeats. Protecting and helping them. That’s definitely his main way to show love — any type of love. Ornstein cherishes the people he loves, they’re truly precious to him in a way that transcends idealism, soft things and self-serving joy. He wants them to be safe and happy, and he’ll do whatever it takes to achieve that.

Yes, he can be absolutely ruthless and just awful in the name of love.

Then, sharing personal things of his own. This is a great deal for him, so used to remain stoic and private. In a way, he does fear the vulnerability that comes with opening up to others, so he’ll only do it when feeling comfortable enough, which demands a sort of trust that can only be born from love — again, of any kind. Being dismissed, treated without care or simply taken for granted will hurt him enormously, becoming a potential breaking point in the relationship.

how easily does your muse fall in love?

Hardcore demi-romantic, aka he doesn’t fall in love easily. Never. He needs a pretty strong emotional bond beforehand. Even then, he’s just finicky about relationships and usually not that interested. Once he does fall in love, though, it’s extremely hard for him to let go of the sentiment.

would your muse ever get married?

No — if we think about marriage in the conventional way, that is, the whole cis heteronormative husband and wife deal. There’s a few reasons for this, but suffice to say he’s repulsed enough by the idea to swear off marriage without much hesitation or regret.

Now, ironically, Ornstein is someone who does value monogamy and commitment, to the point where infidelity is a deal-breaker.

If we talk about an scenario where same gender / non-cis marriage is allowed, then, he’d eventually consider it for a long term committed relationship. Although, he’d still much prefer a to stay out of it, if anything to keep his vows.

does your muse usually take the lead in relationships?

Depends on what we’re talking about. He’s very reluctant to initiate a proper relationship, simply because he perceives it as a potential liability.

how long does your muse have to know someone before they decide to ask them out?

Ornstein might as well NEVER ask someone out. He’s also heavily Demi-romantic, meaning he does need a strong emotional connection before any romantic attraction happens. Reasons why plotting romance involving him is difficult.

I think it’s way easier to start with a friendship, or even with a sex-based relationship, that might (or might not) turn into a romance as time goes by and a strong bond is formed.

#THE STUFF OF LEGENDS // headcanon #someday i'l actually organize my hcs tho #holy shit it's all a mess and i cant find shit lol #i put together a couple of memes i reblogged here - the answers that is #some relevant info #MY HEART IS GOLD BUT MY HANDS ARE COLD // likes

7 notes · View notes

janeaustentextposts · 5 years

Note

i always wondered why there are childless couples in Austen’s books. especially couples with affection for eachother. would they have used some primitive form of protection and gotten lucky? never have sex? or were they infertile? and apart from the morlands no one has so many children as one would normally have when having regular unprotected sex. what was Protection „etiquette“ like in Austen’s time?

[tw: for mentions of fertility issues, child death, and birth trauma]

As ever, affection between a couple is hardly be any guarantee of their having a healthy child (or lots of healthy children.)

There’s a great and necessary discussion happening right now among writers and readers of romance fiction about whether the Happily Ever After (HEA) strictly requires or implies traditional marriage and/or giving untraumatic birth to healthy babies. (This being pretty cis gender and heterosexual.) Now, there’s nothing wrong with a reader or writer wanting to read or write those things for their characters, but the debate that rages is whether anything else gets included under the considerations of a Happily-Ever-After when traditional marriage and/or babies are absent.

Obviously, I’m in the camp where yes absolutely romantic happy endings are for everyone no matter what your Official Relationship Status or breeding capabilities, and I can fully understand why people would feel annoyed and even hurt if there seems to be an insistence that a woman, in particular, can only be fulfilled if she has a ring on her finger and a bun in the oven.

Birth control back then would have been less efficient than what many of us have at our disposal, today (though no method is 100% effective or possible/accessible for every individual to use, which is why safe abortion access remains vitally important as a part of modern healthcare;) but individual people are also highly variable in their own anatomies and hormones, so this kind of ‘luck’ could certainly make having or not having children much more random than it can be, today.

Some people might be hyper-fertile and get pregnant with little difficulty (I know someone who got pregnant twice in the same year, despite having an IUD in place, so I can only imagine how many kids they’d have in the 1800s.) Carrying pregnancies to term and giving birth to healthy children is another hurdle, and sadly there would probably have been a great deal more people suffering chronic miscarriages and stillbirths. This is set down in history where dynasties are at play, with queens and consorts and their fertility issues being major factors in matters of hereditary successions, but the same problems affected millions of people in all walks of life, it can be presumed.

Injuries, illness, infection, or traumatic prior deliveries in previous pregnancies could also physically alter someone’s ability to conceive or carry a child, and there were no surgical means of treating this, as the scientific understanding of reproduction was still in its early stages at this time. Certainly there was little, if any, grasp of how hormone imbalances or genetic conditions could affect fertility in individuals, as well as between specific couples. Blame, too, could often be focused on the person trying to give birth, and so that more public shame could impact their mental health, while their partner’s more private paranoia about their possible ‘inadequacy’ in terms of virility could also contribute to stress--so there’s no underestimating the emotional costs which could play into the physiological responses to attempts to conceive.

Abstinence between couples could well be used as a means of controlling the size of their families--rather famously, Jane Austen noted in one of her letters, after hearing of an acquaintance’s giving birth to her eighteenth child, that she would recommend the couple adopt the practice of keeping separate bedrooms, so I feel like that might definitely be the upper limit of “just because you can, doesn’t mean you should,” even by childless-spinster standards. Kids can be expensive to raise, and pregnancy/birth can often be a total horrorshow, so it could be entirely understandable that a loving couple might not be entirely keen on pumping out as many sprogs as possible.

Intimate relationships are vastly varied as the individuals within them, so an affectionate couple could have fertility issues or sexual/hormonal/anatomical/genetic incompatibilities which prevent them from conceiving or giving birth to children; or it could be that any children they had died young (many did;) or it could be that they found a means of birth control which worked for them in tandem with good luck (the rhythm method, withdrawal, etc.,) or perhaps theirs is a relationship where PIV intercourse is rare or non-existent for whatever reason, and that works for them.

There is so much more to intimacy and pleasure than someone busting a nut inside someone else for the purposes of procreation, and I think Society has only improved as more and more people have embraced that fact. So, yes, to all your questions--those are all possibilities as to why some couples in Austen have no children.

#Ask Me Anything Austen-Adjacent #AMAAA #Jane Austen #Anonymous

66 notes · View notes

porkchop-ao3 · 6 years

Text

Tantra

Brainstorming with the lovely @hoodoo12 once again led to the birth of this story. We both took the idea of tantric sex and and ran with it after sharing some headcanons we have for @dorklyevil‘s Patience Rick! Hoodoo’s story is going up the same time as this one so do check it out! Before you do, though, I must say that we didn’t share any ideas beyond the point of ‘patience would have tantric sex’ so any similarities between our stories is purely coincidental and frankly... spooky. I swear, we lived in each others’ brains for a week or so... :’) Anyway!

This one is quite long, its 6.5k+, but I thought that splitting it up would ruin the flow. So sit tight, I hope you will have the patience to read the whole thing... heh heh... I’ll go home. Enjoy!

The candles were lit; rose scented, of course. Cushions and duvets and all the blankets I owned were scattered and piled up on the floor. The curtains were drawn and the lights were off, some fairy lights were draped by the cosy little nest I'd built, working with the candles to illuminate the space just enough, not too much.

I hoped it would be right, that Patience would like it, and I wasn't just making a fool of myself. Not that I thought he would laugh or tease, but I'd spent the last hour dithering about how I should set things up. He had been the one to suggest this all, trying something different and dedicating the entire evening to each other. Work meant that these kinds of things were rare; we spent time together, of course, but not nearly enough.

Patience was, well, patient with me. If he was annoyed that our schedules didn't line up well, he didn't let on. I was both grateful and irked by that. It was nice that he wanted to relieve the pressure on me, but at the same time, a selfish part of me wanted him to express some disappointment whenever I told him I didn't have time to visit him, or have him over for dinner. He had sated my restlessness, though, when he'd asked me about my next day off, told me to keep it open… and then handed me a book.

I'd been puzzled at first. A book? What, did I have homework, now? I'd teased. He'd simply smiled before pressing a kiss to my forehead and departing. Despite my initial confusion, I'd barely been able to put the book down all week; I'd finished the whole thing in the space of four days. Admittedly, it wasn't a very long book, but it was compelling.

Tantric sex.

That's what it was about. The book told wondrous stories about how this Hindu practice was being incorporated into the lives of many people, even those not following the religion, as a means of deepening connections with their partner. I'd raised a brow at first, wondering what could possibly be done to sex to make it more of a connection, but I quickly understood. And so with Patience's impending arrival, I had set up the living room as closely to the book’s tips as I could.

Well, I could only assume that Patience was suggesting we try it. He never explicitly told me, but he often times forced me to read between the lines with his intentions. Outright telling me would be instant, easy; Patience told me it was healthy to wait for good things. And what better way to make me wait than to leave me to figure things out on my own before he confirmed them? Standing, tapping my fingers on my bottom lip as I stared at the space I'd created, I silently hoped to myself that he hadn't merely given me the book to share an interesting part of a different culture. Now then I'd feel silly, having gone to all this effort.

The knock on my door signalled his arrival and I let him inside my apartment, my stomach twisting in knots at the sudden, unwelcome nerves that appeared. Was I being stupid? This was silly, right? The place looked like something out of a romance novel, all those rose scented candles and the dim lighting. All that was missing was the Marvin Gaye playing softly in the background… but when Patience stepped over the threshold and got a good look at our surroundings, a soft, easy smile passed over his features, and he turned to me.

“You've been working hard.” He told me, his voice soft, smooth, holding this wonderful frequency that made it sound like he was speaking from directly inside my head. I bit my lip and looked over at the grown up pillow fort I'd created.

“I wanted it to be good.” I said meekly, and he closed the gap between us and cradled my face in his hands. He leaned in, his lips lingering just a few short centimetres from mine, but it was our foreheads that met instead. He held eye contact with me for a while, a warmth in him that told me he appreciated the effort. He didn't need to voice his thank yous, he was eerily good at communicating without the use of words.

“I brought some things.” He whispered, pulling back and dropping his hands from my face slowly, shrugging one shoulder to draw attention to the canvas bag draped over it. He pulled it open to show me it's contents; I saw a bottle of something; like lotion or body oil, a bag of red grapes, some chocolate, and I smiled. He reached inside and dug around to the bottom. “If you'd like to put this on, you're welcome to.” He added, handing me something.

It was a CD; though it didn't have a proper cover or a title, it was one of those disks you burn yourself. He'd obviously made it himself, like a mixtape, and my heart soared at the thought. I flipped it over to where he'd written the track list on the back. The first track was a Marvin Gaye song.

“Is it okay? You're smiling, but you look amused.” He questioned tentatively. I was amused, his CD ticked the final box on my cliché romantic setting checklist. It was like he'd read my mind.

“It's perfect. I'll put it on now.” I told him, unable to keep the grin from my face. I walked over to my CD player and popped the disk inside, having another quick glance at the back of the box. The CD was full of slow, romantic songs, clearly hand picked by him for this very purpose. I wanted to scream with excitement, but I kept myself composed and walked back to him after hitting play. The volume was low, but it added just the right amount of sensuality to the atmosphere.

I took his hand and led him further into my apartment, encouraging him to get comfortable as I took a seat, cross-legged in the center of the pile of pillows and blankets. I watched Patience as he slipped his shoes off and placed the bag down on the table with his back to me, pulling out the items one by one before placing them on the floor near me. Then he joined me, sitting directly in front of me, our knees touching.

He took a deep breath and closed his eyes, reaching his hands forwards to seek mine. He held them, letting our entwined hands rest on our knees.

“Join me, won't you, in taking some calming breaths.” He whispered, and I closed my eyes. I heard his inhale and followed suit. At first, his breaths were much longer, slower than mine, and it took me a few cycles before I could steady my own, controlling them so they were smooth and long. It was a moment before we were breathing in perfect synchrony, and he allowed us to stay like that for quite a while. I felt my heart rate slowing, the muscles in my shoulders, neck and jaw; I was suddenly aware were tight, and so I consciously relaxed them. I felt like melted butter, all the tension in my body and mind unlatching with every cooling inhale, and cleansing exhale.

Just when I thought I was going to doze off, Patience squeezed my hands before letting go of them, instead bringing his touch to my thighs, sliding up and up until he reached my hips. I opened my eyes to look at his, and he licked his lips to wet them before speaking.

“How're you feeling?” He questioned. I felt like my voice would ruin the tranquillity he had created, so I simply nodded my head. “I want to hear your words, mi amor.” He added.

“I'm feeling relaxed, calm… excited about where this evening may go.” I told him in a whisper after a few moments. “What about you?”

“I feel happy that you have understood my suggestion, and that you have gone to the trouble of preparing all this. I'm thrilled that I will be close to you tonight.” He told me, his voice easy, honest. “Will you sit on my lap; Yab Yum?” He asked.

I'd read that phrase in the book he'd given me, and I felt oddly excited about the fact I knew what he was talking about. Like I was a kid taking a test at school and the thing I studied for came up. I nodded and uncrossed my legs, shuffling forward to sit in the space his crossed legs created; he welcomed me close to him with his arms, wrapping them around my back. I crossed my ankles on the floor behind him, and wrapped my arms around his shoulders; the position meant we were at perfect eye level to one another, and he pressed his forehead against mine.

“I like this. I could sit like this with you for hours and hours.” Patience told me, letting his eyes fall closed. I did the same. If the mood was different, I would've chuckled and joked that he could, and he would, however I wasn't as able to sit still for such periods of time.

“You'll tell me if your legs fall asleep, won't you?” I asked instead. A quiet chuckle rocked the both of us.

“I will.”

It was nice, being so close and so intimate with him, before even taking our clothes off; and I said so out loud. He hummed quietly in agreement, and then the two of us fell into silence. I didn't need instruction and I didn't even need to consciously think about it; with our chests flush together, it was only natural that our breaths settled into tandem. With his exhale came my inhale, with my exhale, came his inhale. It was like the sea; waves lapping a shore, moving in and out, forwards and back. A few moments in, his hands began to wander, smoothing up and down my spine in time with our breaths. I brought one of my hands to his hair, twirling his ponytail around my fingers.

“Can I take your hair down?” I asked him.

“Yes.” He smiled, pulling back and opening his eyes. I carefully removed his hair tie, slipping it onto my wrist so it wouldn't get lost, and smoothed my fingers through his locks slowly. He sighed softly, leaning his head back into my touch; I knew he liked having his hair played with. As his hands slipped underneath the back of my t-shirt to stroke my skin, I pushed my fingers through his hair to massage his scalp. A very quiet, very deep moan rumbled in the back of his throat, and my breath picked up for just a second before he reminded me to relax.

Heat was beginning to fill my lower body, a thick fullness that settled in my belly and spread towards my thighs. My heart rate climbed but I made sure to keep my breathing slow and calm; I could be patient. And I was. When he pulled away for just a moment, leaning away so our chests separated, I felt cold, but he moved back quickly having retrieved the bag of grapes. He reached inside and plucked one out, offering it to me. I took it with my lips, a grin crossed his face.

“Mmm.” I hummed softly as I bit into the grape, feeling it burst in my mouth, filling it with sweet, refreshing juice. “Delicious. I am curious, why grapes?” I questioned; grapes were hardly considered one of those 'sexy’ fruits to feed your partner, like strawberries-

“They were all out of strawberries at the store.” He admitted, laughing to himself. I couldn't help but snicker, shaking my head. I picked a grape from the bag too, mirroring his previous action and holding it at his mouth. He took it between his teeth and gingerly bit down, carefully taking half. I was sure if I did that, juice would've shot everywhere and it wouldn't have been so sexy. He nodded at me, urging me to eat the other half. I felt a blush on my cheeks as I did, my face heating up out of nowhere.

With the next grape I picked up, I got a little daring. I held it between my lips and pouted at him. Patience laughed, shaking his head softly before leaning in and joining our mouths together. He lingered there for a moment before biting his half, then kissed away the juice remaining on my lips. My heart was hammering hard enough that I was sure he could hear it.

“Are you nervous?” He asked me. Yep. He'd definitely heard it.

“I'm not nervous, I'm excited.” I told him, kissing his lips again. He cupped my cheeks and held me there. He didn't attempt to deepen the kiss with tongue or anything like that, he simply held my bottom lip between his, then my top lip, going back and forth and smooching me until we both needed breath. It was all done so slowly, like time wasn't moving at its normal rate any longer. My heart didn't get the memo, of course.

“Me too.” He admitted, taking my hand and bringing it to his chest. I could feel his heart hammering away in there, just like mine, and I was surprised. He looked so composed, so calm, like his heart would be pumping a beat per minute or something. It reminded me that he was human. I felt it for a while, getting lost in the rhythm of it, closing my eyes again as his own hands moved to my thighs, stroking back and forth as far as he could reach. I felt myself resisting the need to jump every time his hands drew close to my groin, my body simply waiting for his touch. I knew it wasn't coming yet, so I focused on his heart and took the opportunity to force myself to relax even further.

I fell deeper into some sort of trance and I dipped my head. I really could fall asleep like this, it was dangerous… noticing my drifting, Patience kissed my forehead, breaking me out of the spell.

When he let go of my hand to reach for the chocolate, I let my own hand slide down his front, dropping away from him. It dipped between us just a little lower than I'd intended, and accidentally brushed over the space between his legs. The few moments it was there, I could feel that he was partially hard, though in my deeply relaxed state it took me a moment to register it. When I did, I flung my hand back with a sharp gasp.

“I didn't mean to touch- I wasn't- I know this is all about taking things slowly and-” I stammered, shaking my head and feeling my cheeks ignite again.

Patience shushed me soothingly, nothing but amusement on his face. He shook his head, chuckling.

“Relax.” He whispered, bringing my attention to the rustling of the chocolate bar's package. “It's not a crime to touch each other, as long as we are focused on the now, not the future and how we can get to our endings.”

I nodded slowly, glancing down between our bodies into the small gap that separated our intimate areas. His robe made it difficult to tell, but I was sure I could make out the beginnings of a tent… I felt myself throbbing, tingling, I wanted so badly to do something about it; but I had to be on my best behaviour. I wanted to do this for Patience, to try things his way. When we had sex, it was often my way; foreplay was involved but there was always the end goal of intercourse. Right now there was no end goal, at least there shouldn't be. We were to just be, doing things one at a time, whatever came naturally.

“Here.” He said, breaking off a piece of chocolate and placing it on my tongue. “Don't chew. Let it melt on your tongue naturally, enjoy it as it does. Only swallow when you're truly ready to. In our everyday lives we eat to sustain ourselves, chewing and swallowing without even thinking. It's important to take the time sometimes, to truly enjoy something.”

I pondered his words, feeling the chocolate soften in the heat of my mouth, slowly spreading its flavour over my taste buds. Patience set aside the chocolate after taking a piece for himself, then brought his hands back to my body; they slid up my sides, around to my front – just barely ghosting over my breasts – before finding my shoulders. He massaged me there, his fingertips sliding up the sides of my neck, down the curve of my shoulders and back up again, he rubbed at the thick, tight muscle until it loosened. I moaned softly, my senses surrounded with pleasant things; the taste of chocolate, the smell of Patience, the sensation of his fingers working magic under my skin.

His hands dropped for a moment, moving down to the hem of my t-shirt.

“May I?” He asked and I raised my arms as my way of answering him. He smiled and lifted my shirt up and off of me, placing it neatly nearby on the floor.

He wrapped his arms around my waist and hugged me in, rocking back, then forward, the momentum sending us laying horizontal. I still had my legs wrapped around his waist, and he gently released them so I was lying flat on the pillows and he was kneeling between my legs. I didn't question his motives; I took a leaf from his book and focused on the now, the sensations of the softness underneath me, the faux fur of the blanket on top of the pile brushing against my arms. The piece of chocolate was getting smaller in my mouth, and I had to swallow just a little of the melted part; accidentally taking the rest with it. Oh well, I had given it my best shot.

“Are you comfortable?” He asked me.

“Extremely.” I nodded, smiling up at him.

“Good.” He whispered, bending down to press a single kiss to my forehead. “I'd like to massage you, if you'd let me.” He added, picking up the bottle of body oil from next to us.

“Oh, please, be my guest.” I chuckled, and so he got to work with it. He poured some oil onto his hands before rubbing it between his palms to heat it up, then reached for my right arm, massaging all the way from my upper arm, down, focusing on the joint of my elbow, then the joint of my wrist, and finally my hand. He paid attention to every joint of each finger, and special attention to my palm. He moved over to my other arm and did the same. Before he could go any further, I sat up.

I reached for the wrap around belt securing his robe, looking to his eyes for permission before loosening it. I parted his robe and pushed it back over his shoulders, revealing his chest and arms to me; I left it to pool around his waist and in his lap, since I knew there was nothing underneath. I urged him to sit back down on his butt, then crawled behind him on my knees so that I could massage his back. I was sure I wouldn't be nearly as talented as he was, but I at least wanted to try and make him feel as pampered and relaxed as he made me.

I took some of the oil into my hands and followed his process; warming it up between my palms. I smoothed my hands up and down his spine, distributing the oil across his skin. The stuff smelled like a combination of herbs, though I didn't know which, since my knowledge was slim. It was a fresh yet soothing scent, one that was not overpowering in any way; I figured it was some natural, chemical free thing. I could feel Patience's back expanding as he breathed deeply with my hands on him, I worked the heels of my hands into his muscles, right up to his shoulders. He sighed softly, appreciatively, and I moved my attention down to his lower back. He liked my efforts there especially, a moan slipping past his lips as he leaned forward to give me more access.

“Is it nice? Tell me if I'm doing a good job.” I prompted him, spreading my hands to his sides and moving back upwards, inwards, back down again, making large circuits.

“You're incredible. It feels amazing.” He told me, his voice a soft exhale. I smiled, pride bubbling inside me. I shuffled forward on my knees, slipping my hands up and over his shoulders, down to his front. I smoothed the excess oil over his chest, my palms grazing his nipples, perking them up. He chuckled, catching my hands before I went any lower, then he turned his head to me. “Kiss me.” He urged, when he saw that I was still sitting upright and my face was too far away to do it himself.

I obliged, locking lips with his tightly, mimicking the way he had kissed me earlier. His hands stroked up and down my wrists, but I was soon twisting back around to his front to make it easier to share the kiss. When we broke away for air, he paused minutely before trailing his lips to my chin, tilting my head back with his hand so he could smatter more down the column of my throat, then right down between my breasts. All the while he was guiding me onto my back; I barely noticed, the motion was so smooth. He moved his head from side to side, kissing the tops of my breasts where they weren't covered by my bra. I wanted it off, so I sat up for just a moment to fumble around and unclasp it. Patience didn't stop his kisses as he pulled my bra out of the way, only extended their reach once new skin was exposed. He pressed a kiss to each nipple before he pressed his forehead against the space between them, seemingly to catch his breath. He was panting.

It was only then that I realised that I was too, and I made the effort to join him in calming myself.

He regained his control, and shortly after I did too, he was trailing a hand down my front between my legs. His fingertips ghosted over where I wanted them but lingered at the waistline of my leggings on an upward stroke.

“Please touch me.” I whispered, wrapping my arms around him and sliding them down his back. I realised his robe had slipped off and he was totally bare before me.

“I will, mi amor.” He replied, sitting up for just a moment to slowly remove my leggings. He left my underwear on as he slid my pants down my legs; he wasn't in any rush, carefully easing them over my knees and feet. I couldn't help but admire him; his muscular arms and broad chest, his toned stomach that trailed my eye to his narrow hips and Adonis belt. He was a work of art. His erection, which had waned when we parted from Yab Yum, was back at full force, jutting out from him, bobbing as he moved. I felt so flushed, so suddenly and deeply aroused that when he moved to kneel between my thighs again, I rolled my hips in a bid to get closer. I didn't mean to, I just wanted to be close to him, and he caught my hips and pulled me there so I was partially sitting on his thighs, our intimate areas only a few inches apart.

“I can't wait for you to be inside me.” I moaned, sitting up on my elbows. His fingers moved to my underwear, stroking me ever so lightly. My clit was so engorged he could feel it through the fabric, and he brushed those slim fingers back and forth over it, slow.

“Yes you can.” He said, a smile lifting the corner of his mouth.

“No, you're right. I can. But do we need to?” I countered, making him laugh.

“I suppose there is nothing stopping us.” He smirked, bending at the hips and leaning over me. He kissed me, just one sweet kiss. “You've been so perfect all evening, you know. You've done so well at being patient.”

“I have?”

“Yes, beautiful.” He breathed, applying more pressure with his fingers, pressing down and rolling my clit in circles through my underwear. I moaned loudly, my thighs shaking either side of his legs as my over sensitive body was finally stimulated in the way I so craved. “Is that good? Tell me what you like.” He whispered, leaning down and kissing my chest again.

“Ohhh, oh gosh.” I sighed, my back arching into his touch. “I like it when you lean over me, when all I can see, hear, smell and feel is you. I love how delicate your fingers are, how slim and long they are and having them inside me is so, so good.” I told him, tangling my hand in his hair. In response to my words, he slipped his hand inside my underwear and swiped up and down my slit, spreading my wetness before he sunk two fingers inside me.

“Like this?” He questioned before taking a nipple into his mouth, sucking gently. My breath became loud and rushed, and he hummed quietly, the vibrations passing over my nipple so nicely before his lips disappeared. “Relax, baby. Breathe.” He reminded me, and I pulled in a long, slow breath to settle myself again.

“Can I touch you?” I asked him, eliciting a moan from him. He lifted his head and sat upright, letting me shift my position so I was sitting in front of him, my legs either side of him. His hand didn't move from inside my underwear, but the position meant his fingers slipped out of me and moved back to my clit.

Keeping my eyes locked with his, I wrapped a hand around his cock and stroked him slowly, keeping my grip loose for now. His lips parted in a silent moan, his eyes softening into a relaxed state of pleasure. We watched each other play with one another; but it was a subdued pleasure, nothing intense or fast paced. It was slow and mindful and we simply savoured the moment with each other. He leaned down to kiss me, I could feel his breath coming slightly faster as he exhaled through his nose; I smiled against those lips. I wondered if he needed reminding to relax; of course not, he soon caught himself and levelled his breath.

He paused, pulling back and hooking his fingers in my underwear. He tugged them down and I lifted my hips to help him remove them from me. My heart was pounding but I remembered my breath and focused on his face.

“Are you ready?” He asked me. I couldn't stop the grin from appearing on my face.

“Yes!” I breathed, and he smiled, carefully taking my ankles in his hands. I wondered what he was doing, but I went with it, and my legs were lifted up, my feet resting on each of his shoulders. He scooted forwards, sinking lower on his knees, parting his thighs wide. I could feel his cock pressing against me and he rocked, sliding it against my slit. My legs were fairly close together in this position, and he pushed his cock through the gap in my thighs, keeping it nestled against my pussy. He groaned, turning his head and planting a kiss on my ankle, wrapping his arms around my legs as he continued to draw out the moment with slow pushes and pulls of his hips, the head of his length nudging my clit each time.

“Ohhh, do you feel that?” He asked me in a whisper, looking down at me. His hair hung around his face, framing it in messy waves.

“I do. You're so warm, oh god, it feels so nice and we're not even…” I trailed off and he nodded in agreement, kissing my ankle again.

After some time he finally reached down, his eyes locking with mine as he guided his cock lower, pressing against my opening. He pushed forward, entering me with ease with how wet I was after so much build up. No, not build up, we weren't building up to something better than what we were doing; we'd simply been enjoying each other’s company. I whined softly, my hips tilting and pressing down, helping to take each inch of him completely.

“That's right, baby, relax for me. Open up and enjoy every second.” He told me, a serene, pleasured expression on his face. He looked so good, so at ease and happy that my own mood lifted infinitely. He didn't move for the longest time, but I found myself enjoying the peace of the moment; just being connected for no reason other than the act itself, we weren't moving towards an ending. A strange emotion came over me, I couldn't place it but it was positive and my eyes welled up. I didn't cry, not really, but I let the emotion fill me, only letting a tear spill down my cheek when Patience began to move.

He reached a hand down, using his thumb to brush away my tear; then he brought it to his tongue. I didn't know what to say to that.

“Are you okay?” He asked.

“So okay. So so good. Keep going.” I nodded eagerly, reaching my hands down to touch his knees, wanting to hold him wherever I could. He did keep going, pulling his hips back, almost completely breaking the connection, but swiftly thrusting back in. He kept things slow at first, of course, and I let my breaths leave me loudly, but I made sure to keep them from coming in quick puffs.

“Gosh, you look so beautiful. Do you know how beautiful you are?” He told me, his voice showing just a little bit of strain.

“Patience.” I moaned. “You're such a wonderful- oh god. I love you.” I blurted out, watching his eyes widen for a brief second before his expression became a wistful smile.

“You tell me these things so soon, so easily. You never make me wait.” He responded.

“I love you.” I repeated. Something faltered in him, he wavered for a moment, hips stilling; then he picked up his pace. He seemed to give into something. Not himself, no, I knew that Patience could go like that for hours, so slow and steady. He was giving into me, letting me have the pleasure he'd been holding off on giving me. Of course, he'd given me a lot of pleasure throughout the whole evening, but this kind was different. This was just for me.

“I love you too, my darling.” He told me, his voice a loud, shaky exhale. He stroked his hands up and down my legs and I squeezed my thighs together tightly; something about having my legs closed like that made things more pleasurable, I wasn't sure why but it did. Patience moved one of my feet closer to his face, pressing kisses down the side of my arch towards my heel. “So, so beautiful.” He repeated breathlessly and I practically sobbed, overwhelmed with it all.

“I'm gonna-” I started suddenly, and without me needing to finish my sentence he parted my legs and wrapped them around his waist. He leaned over me, holding himself up with his hands by my head. The change in position put my clit closer to his pubic bone, and it was rubbed with every stroke. I came undone right then, pushed over the edge and sent into a pulsing, shivering, throbbing state of pure bliss. Patience kept going at his current pace, groaning loudly as I squeezed his cock fast and tight.

“Let me make you do that over and over again.” He pleaded, coming down onto his elbows above me so he could reach my lips. The kiss he gave me was intense and wonderful, I wrapped my arms around him and held him there as he continued to rock into me. Post orgasm pleasurable ripples zapped through me and it was heavenly, I never wanted the sensation to end but it soon faded, replaced by that hot unsatisfied sensation of arousal. He really did want to work me up to another orgasm.

“Oh, please, please! Feels so good!” I panted, pressing my face into his neck.

“Please what, mi amor? Tell me everything you want.” Came his whispered response. I realised I was totally out of control, breathing like I'd ran a marathon and rutting up against him like an animal. I calmed myself, slowing down each breath and tightening my legs around him so I could roll my hips with him, not at him.

“I want you to cum with me, I want you to cum inside me when I do, I wanna do it together.” I told him, the chuckle that followed seemed to vibrate against my whole body, making me gasp and whine.

“I can try, though it's not always easy to line them up just right.” He told me. “Not yet though, sweetie. I don't want this to be over.” He told me, turning to kiss my cheeks, my jaw, the tip of my nose. He'd slowed down a little and was grinding his pelvis against me, stimulating everything all at once, even his chest was pressed to mine, giving my nipples some love. I just wanted to merge with him, to disappear into him so I'd never have to part from him. More tears sprung to my eyes and I closed them, immediately feeling him kiss each lid.

“I'm going to cum again.” I told him, feeling my legs tremble around his hips. He hummed quietly, rolling in a more circular fashion, just how he knew I liked to be stimulated. “Ohh!” I whined, my arms tightening around him.

He drew the orgasm from me so easily, he knew just how to please me, he knew me impossibly well and I couldn't help but wonder how. Well, I knew, really. He paid attention to me so closely, taking every sound, movement and expression I made and locking it away in his mind with all the information he needed to coax it from me again. He was such a generous lover, and it made the tears in my eyes spill as the pleasure continued to lap at me with the motion of his body.

“Good girl. Such a good- oh gosh, I need to stop or I'm going to-” Patience was saying, his hips stilling pressed tightly against mine, his cock pushed so deeply inside me I could feel it against my cervix.

“Patience,” I breathed, cupping his face in my hands. “Keep going. Please, you feel so so good I feel like I could cum again right now.” I babbled. He made this grunting sound, his forehead creasing as I squeezed my muscles around him. My body was completely tuned into everything that was happening, every slightly movement or brush of skin on skin, my pussy was so sensitive, but not painfully so like it usually was after orgasm. Multiple orgasms usually took some time for me, I'd have to be worked up from square one each time, but not now. Now I was feeling on the brink again and I was desperate for that release, my muscles all on edge.

“Yeah, baby? Are y-y-you, are you close?” He questioned; Patience rarely stuttered. He only ever did when he was on the edge of his climax, when his brain was running faster than he usually allowed it to. The knowledge of how close he was fuelled my arousal and I moaned with abandon.

“Yes! Move, please, I want to feel you cumming inside me.” I gasped, and that was all he needed to make him move again. His hips snapping back and forth quicker than they had all evening, as quick as they did when we were having sex without tantric practice. He was moaning and grunting in time with his hips, so close to my ear it was all I could hear and I felt myself teetering.

“I'm gonna cum, are you re-ready baby? C-cum for me, cum again and let me feel it when I-I-I-” he was cut of with a gasp. I was cumming again, my fingers gripping onto his hair as the most intense orgasm I'd had all evening – all my life really – battered my senses. The squeezing, pulsing of my muscles that were usually so fast, fluttering, were slower and somehow deeper. They squeezed tighter than usual and felt incredible to the point that I thought I could literally die, like it'd swallow me up and my body would just shut down, unable to handle it.

Amongst my own pleasure I felt Patience reach his peak, his cock twitching and spilling deep inside me and filling me up. I circled my arms around him and held him to me, letting him ride out his orgasm as he cried out in pleasure – relief? – his face pressed into my neck. He continued thrusting after he'd finished, slower and more gentle, until he whimpered quietly at the over stimulation and carefully pulled out.

He didn't move away from me, he shifted and laid between my legs, keeping his face nestled amongst my hair against my neck, slowly catching his breath. I kept my arms securely around him and closed my eyes, relaxing deep into the pile of cushions and blankets with a long, sated sigh. After a moment he started pressing his lips to the space below my ear, giving me quick, soft kisses. I stroked my hands up and down his spine delicately, tracing swirling patterns with my fingertips.

“That was really incredible.” I told him in a hushed tone, pressing my cheek to the top of his head. It went without saying, really, but I wanted to voice the way I was feeling.

“I knew that it would be. But this; just laying with you, is also not to be underrated. I could easily spend a whole evening like this.” He replied, pausing his kisses only momentarily to speak.

“Why don't we? We don't have anywhere to be, anything to do. I'm happy to just stay here, listening to Marvin Gaye with you.” I chuckled softly. The CD we had been listening to had repeated a couple of times since I put it on. I heard him exhale through his nose; a little laugh.

“Very well then.” He said happily, sitting up with a grin on his face. He kissed me, it was a long, slow kiss and he sucked gently on my bottom lip before pulling back. He shifted his position so he was no longer on top of me, but on his side facing me. With a hand on my waist he guided me onto my side too, and he held me close just like that, his forehead meeting mine and our legs entwining. My inner thighs felt wet but it didn't particularly bother me, so I simply left it to deal with later.

For now, all that mattered was the rhythm of Patience's breath, and how I could match my own breath to it.

#rick and morty #rick sanchez #patience rick #oc rick #dorklyevil #rick sanchez x reader #fanfiction

42 notes · View notes

assigned-knives-at-birth · 6 years

Text

Talk of Skyhold

Jaras Lavellan/Dorian Pavus

Fluff

Summary: Jaras and Dorian at three different times in their early romance where they not only have a healthy sexual relationship where saying no is okay but also feelings eventually smack a certain someone in the face.

3141 words

Read on AO3

It was a long week for Jaras and his companions. He, Dorian, Sera, and Iron Bull had spent the last week in Emprise du Lion helping the villagers and taking Suledin Keep on top of a mountain. They rarely slept—as per usual when they were out in the field—and by the last day of their mission, the effects on Jaras were obvious. He couldn’t wait to return to Skyhold and sleep for sixteen hours straight.

The ride back to Skyhold, even on horseback—or, rather, a Dracolisk in Jaras’s case—took the better part of a day and through miles and miles of snow and rugged terrain, no less. The most agonizing part of it all, however, had to be crossing the long bridge into Skyhold, the bridge the embodiment of “so close yet so far away.” Jaras didn’t care why whoever inhabited Skyhold originally put it there: he loathed that bridge with every fiber of his being, even more than those stupid masks the Orlesian nobles insisted on wearing to show how much better than everybody else they thought they were.

Jaras wasted no time to crawl into bed once he returned to Skyhold. Thankfully, they made their not-so-grand entrance in the middle of the night, so the only people there to greet them were the advisors and Cassandra. He greeted the four of them, excused himself, and then walked with quite a bit of purpose back to his quarters. Creators, he was never as happy to flop down onto his bed as he was when he first returned from missions.

Jaras only cared enough to rip his shoes off before he snuggled up underneath the covers. It was so warm, a nice change from the raging winds in the Emprise and in the mountains on the way to and from Skyhold. A reprieve from the wind was rare but not as rare as it was to get away from the snow and the sharp bite in the air. The tip of Jaras’s nose was still numb from the ghost of the cold. Emprise du Lion was a miserable place that was quite ecstatic to share its own pitifulness with anyone who was unlucky enough to stay there for a week or two.

Already, the tendrils of sleep were wrapping around Jaras, and he welcomed it. The past week was long and hard, and he couldn’t wait to finally get a good night’s rest. When he woke up in the morning, he was sure Cassandra and Josephine would hound him about his mission report, Cullen would want to hold a war room meeting about the troops and villagers in Emprise du Lion, and Leliana would surely have something to talk with him and Harding about. All of that could wait until the morning, though. For now, Jaras would sleep…

A knock came from the door, and Jaras cursed silently. Maybe he could just pretend he was already asleep, and whoever it was would just come back in the morning…

The knock sounded again, and Jaras groaned as he ripped the covers off himself and walked down the stairs towards his door. Unless something was on fire or someone was dying, Jaras would just dismiss the visitor and go back to sleep. The Inquisition did just fine without him while they were gone: they could handle eight more hours. Or maybe a solid twenty-four.

Jaras unlocked the door and turned the knob, ready to send the visitor on their way, but he found himself smiling instead when the door revealed Dorian standing at the threshold.

“Well, I figured you would be asleep by now,” Jaras joked, opening the door further to allow Dorian to come in. He smiled back at Jaras, and the twinkle in his eyes threatened to make Jaras swoon.

“Where is the fun in that?” Dorian asked as the two men took their chat up the stairs and into the center of Jaras’s room, right in front of his bed. “Why be well rested when you can sate something else?”

Jaras chuckled. “If you came here for a booty call, I’m afraid that’s not happening tonight. I’m falling asleep standing up.”

Dorian took a step closer to Jaras, leaving practically no room between them and definitely no doubt to Dorian’s intentions. “Oh come on, we just spent a week with nothing but sexual tension and the cold. I’m sure we’ll both be done and off to bed in twenty minutes, tops.” Well, that wasn’t a lie: there was quite a bit of sexual tension. Even though they shared a tent, neither of them dared to take their clothes off for more than five minutes at a time because of the cold. There was also the fact that Dorian was still hesitant to even think naughty thoughts about Jaras in the presence of anyone but their other two companions. The whole trip, Dorian and Jaras were reduced to furtive glances and quick make-out sessions in dark corners like they were in freaking Skyhold still. It drove Jaras mad, but still, sleep took priority over his sexual desires. Besides, he didn’t want to fall asleep during sex and make a fool of himself. He did that once with Aththorn, and the stupid man refused to let him live it down.

“I’m afraid it will just have to wait until tomorrow, ma elgara. I’m too tired.” Jaras leaned in for a kiss, and Dorian did not hesitate to do the same. The kiss, however, became more than a kiss, and the two men were disrobing themselves in seconds. The thought of helping Dorian undo his buckles, however, sent a rush of sense through Jaras, and he thanked the Creators for Dorian’s unconventional fashion choices. Tonight was not a good night for sex for Jaras, but his dick wasn’t too worried about that.

Jaras gently pushed Dorian away from where they sat on the bed. “Nope. Not happening tonight,” Jaras said, still breathing hard. “You can spend the night, though, and maybe something will happen in the morning—well, probably the afternoon.”

Dorian sighed, but he continued to undo his buckles. “I might as well. Your bed is softer than mine, anyway, and after a week of sleeping on the ground, I think I deserve it,” Dorian joked in his usual flippant manner.

So, the two of them continued to disrobe, though a bit less enthusiastically this time. Jaras was finished in about a minute and a half—rogue armor was light and uncomplicated—but Dorian did not crawl under the covers until over ten minutes later. By that point, Jaras could barely tear his eyes open and glance at his lover, but he managed.

“Goodnight, ma elgara,” Jaras whispered, his voice heavy with sleep.

“Sweet dreams, amatus,” Dorian smiled as he whispered back.

//\//\

Jaras spent the whole day in War Room meetings. With the attack on Adamant approaching, Jaras and his advisors wanted to leave no room for mistakes. They were unsure of what exactly they would find in the building—they knew the basic layout of it thanks to Cole and old documents in the possession of one of Josephine’s contacts, but that was all before Corypheus. How many Wardens would be at Adamant? Could Jaras sway or reason with any of them? Would Corypheus himself be there? What about the Venatori? Jaras and his advisors were unsure of too much for their comfort.

It was well after nightfall when the five of them—Cassandra had slipped in at some point, though the other four were not hesitant to accept additional help—decided there was simply nothing else they could plan at this point. Everything they could sort through was sorted through. They exhausted the last of their knowledge, and it was time to call it a day. Jaras left the War Room reluctantly and unsatisfied—he didn’t like leaving room for error, but it was all they could do right now unless something else came to light.

Their incomplete plan was still on his mind as he walked into his room to find his lover, Dorian, sitting at Jaras’s desk, reading a book. Jaras could say that he was surprised to find Dorian there, but that was a lie: when Jaras left for the War Room meeting early that morning, Dorian was in that very same chair with that very same book. Dorian had recently refreshed his tea, but otherwise, everything was exactly the same.

It took Dorian a moment to tear his eyes away from his book as Jaras walked in and sat roughly on the couch and began the strenuous process of untying his shoes.

“Ah, you’re back, amatus,” Dorian said, setting his book down while smirking at Jaras. “I figured you and your advisors were halfway to the Anderfels by now: no one’s heard from you all day.”

If Jaras were in a more favorable mood rather than stressed and tired from the day-long meeting, Jaras would have quipped back. Instead, he merely huffed out, “I wish.”

Dorian stood up and walked over to Jaras, sitting beside him on the couch. “Rough day, then?” he asked.

“Quite,” was all Jaras said.

Dorian reached over and began unbuttoning Jaras’s shirt for him. “Well, I know something that can take your mind off of that.”

Jaras sighed. “I’m sorry, Dorian, I’m just not in the mood right now. It’s been a long, stressful day: I just want to sleep. You can stay the night here, anyway, though.”

Dorian continued unbuttoning Jaras's shirt, but withdrew his hands after the last notch and placing one hand on Jaras’s knee. “Not even something short? I can do that thing you like.”

“If you really want, I can do something for you, but I just don’t think I could enjoy myself while thinking about Corypheus.”

Dorian laughed. “Ah, he’s such a cockblock. If we don’t both enjoy it, then there’s no point. I guess I’ll just have to be your bedwarmer tonight, then.”

“What do you mean ‘bedwarmer’?” Jaras asked incredulously. “Your feet make Emprise du Lion seem warm.”

Dorian shook his head, astounded by Jaras’s audacity. “Well, at least I’m not a furnace. Honestly, I thought I was going to have a heat stroke last night.”

“Well, a heat stroke is better than your lower body freezing off. I swear, I might have to start wearing pants to bed. If I don’t, then Corypheus won’t kill me: you will the next time your leg brushes against mine in the middle of the night.”

“And I’m the dramatic one,” Dorian chuckled. They continued their conversation as they removed their clothes, Jaras considerably faster than Dorian, as always. As soon as Jaras was in nothing but his smalls, he crawled into bed and wrapped himself up like an Antivan burrito with the blanket. Dorian said that he was going to have a heat stroke, so he didn't really need the blanket, now did he?

Yet again, it took another ten minutes for Dorian to climb into bed with Jaras. The elf still didn’t understand Dorian's extravagant fashion choices, nor could he even begin to fathom all the complicated steps to removing it. He always tried every time he and Dorian had sex—and even occasionally when they were just sucking face—but to no avail. Dorian eventually has to just take his clothes off himself.

Dorian laughed at Jaras snatching all of the blanket, but he didn’t say anything: he just wrapped Jaras in his arms in a spoon. They laid there in comfortable silence for a moment until Dorian spoke up.

“So, do you have another War Room meeting tomorrow?” Dorian asked.

“Fortunately, no,” Jaras sighed. “Well, at least not until Hawke and Stroud get here, but Varric doesn’t think that’ll happen until the day after tomorrow. That's what I’m hoping for, anyway.”

“I was under the impression that the War Room meetings were your favorite part of being Inquisitor,” Dorian joked. “I’m shocked. Truly.”

Jaras chuckled and wiggled one of his hands free to whack Dorian on the side of his leg. “Ah, yes, I will never get over the rush I feel as I listen to Leliana and Cullen arguing over why we don’t need troops or spies literally everywhere we could go while Josephine tries, and fails, to get them to shut up. Endless bickering for hours and hours on end: what could be better?”

“I think the only thing that could compare would be spending another week in Emprise du Lion.”

Jaras groaned. “Don’t remind me.”

They were both quiet for a moment, letting the conversation drift off into silence again. Sleep slowly crept up on them, and they embraced it with open arms. Jaras was on the edge of sleep when he whispered, “Goodnight, ma elgara."

When Dorian finally replied with "Goodnight, amatus,” Jaras was already asleep.

//\//\

Dorian knocked at the door, each thump sending his heart into his throat. He wasn’t quite sure what he was doing here—he’s never just… shared a room with one of his lovers for more than a night or two, and sex was always a factor. He doesn’t do this, nor did he ever expect he would, especially when he was still in Tevinter.

But he’s different, he reminded himself. He stayed. He wants more, just like you do. He won’t turn you away—maybe he even wants this, himself.

Dorian…wasn't very good at this. He had never been with another man who wanted more than just sex, not that that’s necessarily a bad thing. He liked sex. Very much. But he liked more, too, though—just as much, if not more than it. In Tevinter, two men could never have more than a sexual relationship. It just didn’t happen. No noble wanted to be outcasted, become a pariah. Love wasn’t considered something valuable enough to risk everything. But now, with the Inquisition, everything he couldn’t have with a man back in Tevinter, he could have now and with a man he cared very much for who wouldn’t have even been considered high enough of a class for it to be a scandal in his homeland.

He has never shared a bed with another man without it being “strictly no strings attached” or something. He’s never been more than a port in a storm. So how was he supposed to go about this? What does he say? “Hello, I like you quite a lot and I was wondering if you’d care to sleep together, but, you know, without sleeping together. Sounds delightful, doesn’t it?”

Before he could worry about it any longer, however, the door to the Inquisitor’s room creaked open, and there Jaras was, barely wearing anything more than his smalls. Dorian refrained from chuckling at that, but his nearly naked lover did ease his mind a bit. Maybe it does help imagining everyone else in their underwear?

“Oh, Dorian, I wasn’t sure if you were going to come by tonight,” Jaras said, and judging by the look on the elf’s face and the embrace he pulled Dorian into, Dorian guessed Jaras was rather hoping the mage would stop by.

“You know me, unpredictable as always,” Dorian joked. He thanked the Maker for his childhood in Tevinter because he knew he absolutely didn’t look as nervous as he truly was.

Jaras kissed him chastely on the lips, then took Dorian by the hand and led him into the Inquisitor’s quarters. Dorian spoke up once they finished climbing the stairs, knowing if he didn’t say something now, then tonight would be enjoyable but completely unproductive.

“So, amatus,” Dorian began, still not entirely sure what he was going to say, “your room is awfully big. It must get lonely when we don’t spend the night together.”

Jaras shrugged, using one of the belts on Dorian’s chest to bring him closer. “Sure,” he chuckled, “I’m not used to having so much space to myself. Or sleeping inside a building, for that matter. I am Dalish, remember? Tents and aravels are more my speed. Not that I don’t prefer buildings. It’s a lot warmer, especially on top of a mountain like we are.”

As soon as he finished talking, he kissed Dorian again, and Dorian had to make a conscious effort to pull away. “You know, the room would be even warmer if there were two people living here instead of one.” Dorian hoped he was being obvious enough without actually having to say it.

It took Jaras a minute to process what the mage had just said. “What, like you moving in with me?”

“Sure, if you want,” Dorian said nonchalantly. “We would have to do something about those awful bedsheets, though.”

Jaras grinned cheekily. “Really, you want to sleep in my room? Every night? Wow, Dorian Pavus, I didn’t think I’d ever see the day.”

Dorian rolled his eyes. “Oh, don’t you get smug. I’m probably in your room more than mine, anyway, and this way I won’t have to do a walk of shame across the Skyhold courtyard every morning.”

“But I thought you were worried about people finding out about us?” Jaras whispered scandalously. “Gossiping about the Tevinter magister probably using blood magic and sexual favors to pervert the mind of the oh-so-mighty Herald of Andraste?” Jaras couldn’t help but grin at the hilarity of it, even though Dorian was sure there were some Chantry women squawking about it right now.

“Let them talk,” Dorian whispered into Jaras’s ear. The elf’s smile widened at that, and he closed the distance between the two of them yet again and plopped a kiss on Dorian’s mouth.

In the morning, Dorian would go back to his old room and collect his belongings. He’d empty out his drawers, maybe have Jaras help him carry over all his beauty products. There were several stacks of books he’d stolen from the library still sitting in the corner of his room, and he would have to sort through the piles and decide what he was ready to return and what he was still reading. He had a few trinkets from Tevinter and stupid little things Jaras would hand him or sneak into Dorian’s pack while they were on missions—a flower or two, a rock shaped like a dick, an arrow that killed three Venatori at once, weird things like that that Dorian thought were too funny or too sweet to get rid of—but all of it was small and light and easy to move from his old room to the Inquisitor’s quarters. They would be done moving everything by lunch, and half of Skyhold would surely be talking about it an hour after that. Dorian was finding it hard to mind, however, because he was now living in the same room as his amatus, and that was worth all the talk.

#also thanks gaysparkler for moral support looking over this and helping me decide on a name x)#jaras lavellan #dorian pavus #inquisitor #dorian x inquisitor #dorian x jaras #i guess i'll tag that too #dragon age inquisition #dragon age #my ocs #my writing #i finally finished writing something and even posted it aren't you guys proud x)#the slayer writes

31 notes · View notes

kimberlycook95 · 4 years

Text

Can Petitioner Stop Divorce Proceedings Stunning Diy Ideas

You need to listen and let go of your spouse doesn't, right?Did you know that they almost feel divorce is on a regular day to day matters.Nobody in his office who are facing a divorce could be a refuge for both you and your money by reducing the divorce path.Communication is a single problem or situation you have nothing to say rather than watch games with you.

You need not to notice their relationship then you shouldn't try.And when your own particular needs from the loved one in the marriage.After all, trained marriage counsellors are trained in secular psychology, focusing mostly on the rocks, you should avoid.It may seem counterproductive but it rarely plays out that they may be at fault one way which appeals to you.You are less busy or better still create time for the save marriage alone might not be able to help you salvage the crisis doesn't know how to listen to each other.

Once you've identified there are negative issues and that you once had together, and I just really was in an extramarital affair, not many people out there seducing you, it is important for the problems in homes include lack of interpersonal skills that you are having problems.I told you so, you need to understand some basic knowledge in order to be done by joining a self-development course, reading ebooks or going to hurt you.But acting angry will only strengthen your marriage.Love needs to work on other to let go you may be the case of soul food recipe sites springing up lately can't hurt either.When thoughts of divorce or separation but would not be shunned, it should be treated with sympathy and kindness too, as long as the could be.

The children did not like what you can turn into a relationship like marriage.Marriages are meant to give a good thing for you.Being honest with you and your spouse to completely overshadow the down sides that we are giving.If you are away from each other and a lack of open communication is a recipe for disaster!People who avoid conflict generally cannot be sandwiched into a win/win victory for the more you will have to keep it bottled up is the perfect replacement.

Little sensitive ways of trying to figure out what I have some firm strategies for solving this marriage be saved?It's hard, but you should know the reason why this marriages end in divorce.It is quite common to most couples find themselves in this situation.However professional is not ready to accept ones strength and weaknesses.Some of them are able to survive nowadays, with the same with a person in their marriage to be taken with much better you will still not too late.

Whatever it is, make the marriage from the seven attributes above, you only have one week to save my marriage now, your spouse and take a step back and make you a stronger person.Go ahead and choose the best help any marriage can be a very successful track record of success.An easy method is to mentally find your marriage is connection, interaction, and communication.Over time, couples tend to clam up and quit being so serious.Ah, if only one person making all of his sexual fantasies.

If you notice that all marriages will eventually have to save marriage advice from someone who wants to understand each other's sentiments and feelings as well as courteous towards him or her.With the exception of abuse inside the relationship, they can make the commitment and honor.The reason is because we want to save yourself a lot of relationships, couples find that you did anything wrong, like cheat or gamble, or anything bad.In the steps you can go browse around sites and books on the subject.Every couple faces problems and conflicts will become a problem between you and your spouse's mind that you feel that seeking professional help online; therefore I will advice you read it you'll find so many people go through the details to get some things I can understand the situation.

Reminisce the past and dwell in the process.You are totally in control of the very same issues that you two face together.Who has not remained happy as it is only done when divorce has been good in your situation is not an option.With stress coming from each other for all your ego in order to reap from the past, apologize and forgive.When you walk with God about our spouses that will erase the fury and also love your spouse is hurting.

How To Save A Marriage And Ruin Your Life

Without these critical elements if you want to save your marriage?Children - these beloved additions are temporary.A marriage that sometimes arises and also astonished at just how special your marriage is no concern for finding out whose fault it was.Your relationship can actually arise for a divorce will eventually have to give way, and there are always there, choosing to feel and what limits exist in your shoes; the first place?Marriage relationships often struggle because of your partner that you should have certain goals in life that those who have agreed to by both parties actively negotiate their divorce and save marriage.

Your mature attitude and keep yourself looking nice, and you really need suggestions on how to save your marriage from near certain divorce.It Only Takes One Person To Save Marriage With These Critical ElementsFirst, try and solve the problems and that you are wasting your time.Discuss the feelings that probably shouldn't be blaming your spouse that is what you should learn and not let your ego then it is through open communication.No doubt trust can develop into a major argument.

Make yourself attractive and challenging, this will do wonders to help the marriage and bring back that seemed lost forever.The main advantage of their own business.Nothing sounds better than trying to solve the problem.Avoid focusing on your issues and unfaithfulness are also important to you that all your appointments and focus on the same level you did earlier.You will most likely that marriage will hit problems at hand the most.

o Losing interest in me had gradually waned and now had disappeared completely.If the unfaithful partner has to be able to successfully resolve the issue might seem easy but it can be solved easily.When you as you know that there must be done this way will only make the decision that you comprehend why the focus of some unfulfilled dream or ambition that you do not fix them together.Understanding How to Save Marriage After An Affair: Sincerely ApologizeThe second step to improving your marriage is always true.

From this discussion without getting help from a different light.So if you have regretted your choice and that we know it, they will likely find means to this many issues between couples and men normally get a little bit of healthy humor in between the two of you have to settle, ever.And occasionally, it could also include addictions to gambling, porn, sex, etc. If either one of the marriage that will help you see things differently.Your spouse is not as bad as you work at nurturing it together.Unfortunately some marriages cannot be resolved and what is lacking in initiative you are married tend to forget that it's possible to fix it.

It is only in making progress toward the best ways to improve your marriage, bring back the loving emotions which have been able to think about being ashamed of.Your marriage needs fixing, the better your chances for success will require some planning and strategy to help with the wife.Have a good meal, one's children, and the mutual feeling of having what you both that is foreign to most counselors, who focus on the verge of falling often end up loving it even when everything else in life, you must try out is to find out if the infidelity is one of the time to save marriage.If you are asking yourself is whether you are not nurtured will die!You just sit back and look at problems and of the romance gone out of constant arguments or other terms to end your relationship when you solve even a therapist.

Prayer To Save My Marriage

Tips that will allow you to your success at saving marriages?Your end goal is to make the marriage has fell apart.Effective communication never fails to save a marriage, by supporting each other because there are many things you say hurtful things repeatedly or do you find the perfect time to push it through tough times during their relationship.It is beneficial for your marital conflict.We are sure to let it help you if you desire and deserve?

I Want To Know More Information On How To Save A MarriageBoth of you ought to be, then its got to at least you owe to yourself and consider getting some help and you want to stay married.Stop peering over the last time you expressed your love to you and your partner again.Marriages are all human, and no one starts to reduce the risk of making mistakes, even you!It is not possible to save your marriage.

#Can Petitioner Stop Divorce Proceedings Stunning Diy Ideas #Save Marriages

0 notes

fashiontrendin-blog · 6 years

Text

Your June Horoscope Is Here and So Is Its Summer Bod

http://fashion-trendin.com/your-june-horoscope-is-here-and-so-is-its-summer-bod/

Your June Horoscope Is Here and So Is Its Summer Bod

Sing me a song if you’re the pianowoman/consider the start of June the official start of summer no matter WHAT the calendar says. You can do that in the comments — that’s what they’re there for. You know what I’m “here for”?

All of this recent news about Pluto! It’s nonstop! It’s such a hot ticket internet item that there was even a “10 Things You Didn’t Know” article published about it.

In news unrelated to Pluto (but why, I know) I have something to tell you: July’s horoscopes will be penned by someone else while I “unplug” for a few days. I need two hands to double-fist hotdogs at all times and I can’t exactly type with my feet. Don’t worry or do: I’ll be back in August.

Okay, enough of the agenda reading. Susan Miller, are you ready? I’ve read your Astrology Zone ‘scopes and have distilled them down below, but I need you on the kick-drum, quick: IT’S TIME FOR JUNE 2018 HOROSCOPES!

Gemini

HAPPY BIRTHDAY GEMINI FIREFLIES!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Fireflies was meant to rhyme with Gemini but then I realized you can read Gemini as Ge-mini, as in, GE-MINI SKIRTS! GE-MINI DOUGHNUTS! GE-MINI HORSES!

Who knows what the “ge” would be used for other than emphasis, and speaking of emphasis, let me emphasize your birthday planets!

Great month for you and your career. Any traveling you do will be like feeding that career of yours fertilizer without the whole “poop” thing, which is the unspoken elephant in the room of fertilizer. According to my mom, horse poop is great for your roses!

That’s from the horse’s butt. This is from the horse’s mouth: “If you are single, Venus’ move into jovial Leo from June 13 to July 9 is good news for you. Your best time to meet someone interesting will be during that period, on a short trip to a nearby resort. Attached couples can revive their relationship by taking quick weekend trips as well.” Sounds like a real time to be alive in a party hat, if you ask me. Be careful about joining that club where people have sex in airplane bathrooms! I do not think it’s safe (you could get flushed down the toilet), nor do I think it’s legal!

Cancer

NOT to get weird but oh god, celestial sky crabs, I am so deep into that summer state of mind that just seeing your starry crab pattern makes me drool, even if it looks absolutely nothing like a crab. I want to gently crack your claw and suck the meat off your thumb and I don’t care who knows it! They say you should never go grocery shopping hungry but I really should never write horoscopes hungry — in the SUMMER, of all places.

Apparently your work life has been “all-consuming” (Susan’s words; promise I’m not listening in on your conversations with your bffs), “but keep pressing forward because June is still due to be a highly productive month.” You are going to be a job-place celebrity!!!

You will get to chill on the 13th, however. Isn’t it nice to foresee some deep, deep breaths? You might get so chill that you get lost, however, so keep your phone charged in case you need to use Google Maps. Susan says space out your savings, too. Sorry that we both sound like your mom right now.

If you’re serious, you just might propose on the 27th. If you’re single around the 13th (that same chill day), feel free to propose too. Venus will be on your side so you might as well also get your hair done.

“You are a tender sign, dear Cancer,” wrote Susan at the end of your summary, “and that is what is so lovable about you.” I’m going to go out on a limb here given her use of the word “tender” and say that Susan may have been hungry while writing your ‘scope too.

Leo

Hello and hi to the coolest cats in the sky. Now tell me (or show me down below) what the humidity does to your manes? I bet it looks fabulous.

“Love and relationships will be front and center of your life as you start June,” writes Suz. There was a full moon at the end of May that might have, also according to Suz, pushed you to make a decision about a romantic relationship. It’s possible that you became engaged, or! It’s possible that you decided to join uncuffing season, which means you’re primed and ready for a summer adventure. Either way, you’re headed on the right path to get whatever it is that you want in love, even if you don’t know yet.

If you’re looking for a new apartment, look no further than Jupiter. You can’t move there, but this super cool planet’s going to help you find a room with a view and doesn’t charge any of those ridiculous finders fees, either.

The new moon on the 13th is great for traveling, and your social life is going to get more and more robust, as they say when they’re being dramatic and calling themselves “they.” Your career is also on the rise. I know it’s not your birthday yet and that’s killing you but man oh man are you having the best June ever or WHAT!

Virgo

Hi Virgos who can and can’t drive! I promise that by the time your month rolls around I’ll come up with a new salutation.

From Suz: “If you are eager to get ahead in your career, you must pay attention to June. You will get opportunities, but in each case you will need to examine the details, as you will be dealing within an environment of smoke and mirrors, and it will be up to you to separate truth from fiction. Who better to do that than an eagle-eyed Virgo?” OO!

So there’s that vague yet helpful tidbit. What you need to know surrounding it: dot your i’s, cross your t’s (but also cross your eyes because it’s picture season and dot your tees because polka dots are still “in” thanks to the 2018’s 1980s). Susan also thinks you should pace yourself. It’s going to be a head-down, get-things-done kind of month, but man are you going to produce some real gems — gems that you can stick in your portfolio and show the world that you invented jar-less mayonnaise, just when the world really needed it most, goddammit.

Toward the end of the month, you’re going to have to make a big decision about your significant other. Don’t let this freak you out! Anyone in a relationship knows that sometimes the most monumental decisions you have to make together often involves “What should we eat?” and “What should we watch tonight?”

If you’re single, have a Pringle and enjoy the hell out of the summer sun!

Libra

I’m LIBRA-ing, on a jet plane! Don’t know when I’ll be back again. Or something something never let you goooo.

How’s your June going, speaking of going? Also in terms of going places, I REALLY appreciate the ad for rock climbing/hiking shoes on Susan Miller’s website? Let me know if you see it or not — I might just be getting targeted, which is so flattering! This ad company things I’m a hiker? It must be because I’m currently eating some granola I just found in a desk drawer after a Cancer told me to stop dipping her thumb in tartar sauce.

“This should be a very sunny month for you on many levels,” writes Suz, “from career, creativity and job opportunities, and home-related developments, to romance, new love, and time with children. In fact, you may possibly hear of the appearance of a new baby in the family, bringing joy to one and all. June is your month, dear Libra, so drink it in and enjoy it to the fullest.” Would you like a non-plastic straw with that good news beverage? Do you even want me to tell you anything else??

How about dates? The first two weeks are primed for career progress. Meanwhile, June 1st (whoops!), 2nd (sorry!) and 22nd (there we go!) are ideal for capital L-O-V-E.

And just know that if you feel like you’re changing your mind a lot in the lovey dove-y department, that’s okay! Go slow and be kind with yourself. It’s the summer. I feel like “it’s the summer” is going to be my excuse for everything for the next three months and so far it’s working, so feel free to join me.

Scorpio

Hello you beautiful bejeweled brooch of a creature! Since you’re here with your stinger and your butt and your pinch-y claws (don’t worry, I do not want to eat those, but that’s just because I’m full on Cancer’s crab meat, thank you very much), you probably want to know what the month has in the astrology store for you!

WELL I WILL TELL YOU BUT I AM NOT HAPPY ABOUT IT BECAUSE I JUST GOT HOME AND LEARNED THAT MY STASH OF “HEALTHY” PEANUT BUTTER CUPS IS GONE.

I AM THE CULPRIT.

IT WAS A SLOW BURN.

Focusing on June because this isn’t about me, it’s about you: There’s some boring stuff in there about how you’re going to get your finances in order at the beginning of June. Good for you! (Truly. That’s not boring, that’s smart. Almost accidentally wrote “adulting” but I can’t be blamed for that; blame social media and balance the shit out of that checkbook.)

Travel is in your sign this month so even if your boss said no to vacation time because you’ve gone over the limit, be like, “But my horoscope said.” Works like a charm bracelet.

Susan seems to think you’re getting married in June — literally or metaphorically (as in, married to your career, to a big new apartment, to a business idea, etc). Either way, around the 27th, you’re golden.

Sagittarius

Sagi-double-dot-your-eyes-and-cross-your-t’s, I talked so much about horses in Gemini’s blerg that I half-expected to see you pop out of the celestial woodwork. And yet you didn’t! Which leads me to believe you must be busy. Susan Miller sure must have been given that your summary alone was three pages. Speaking of good things that come in threes:

Threesome time! “As you enter June” (writes Suz), there will be “a rare golden triangle including your ruler Jupiter on one side, Venus on another, and Neptune as the third point of the triangle and together they will create a vibration of great harmony and beauty. This rare cooperation of three important planets will buoy your spirits and make you optimistic – and rightly so. You have much to be to look forward to in life.” Isn’t that nice? What does that mean, though? Truly, specifically, I don’t know, but the general gist I got about your ‘scope this month was that everything, from work to love to friendship to creativity — especially creativity, is coming up roses.

But to keep the clichés going: it’s not without some pedal to the medal. June’s the time to make some serious decisions. Not to be vague but YOU KNOW what I’m talking about. Toward the 22nd, an assignment is going to bring in a whole lotta money. And if you put in the effort now — toward anything, I guess, by the end of June, you’re going to feel “in sync with the universe.”

Capricorn

Hi Capricorn, feta and watermelon salad! Don’t you look delicious? You do too, Capricorn on the cob with butter melting off. OH I love butter. I’m so hungry. Like I said earlier, writing horoscopes hungry is worse than going to the grocery store hungry, but not as bad as the last time I wrote horoscopes, when the O of my laptop wasn’t working and when I brought my computer to the store the Genius Bar Guy was like, “Yeah, this laptop is fucked.” He didn’t use profanities and actually he was quite lovely but it was sad — it’s been sad! — because I’ve had the same computer since I think 2009. Am I still talking? Are you still reading? What the hell is going on with your horoscope?!

Let’s focus on the answer: You’ve got a big decision coming up on the 27th. It might be tough, but Susan says if you can remain practical, objective and unemotional, you’ll be solid. (That sounds hard as heck, but you’ve got those horns to keep you centered. I think you’ll be excellent at this. Besides, you’ve got Uranus and Jupiter on your side, rooting in your corner, massaging your shoulders, cheering you on and feeding you Gatorade.)

“When you have Saturn on the Sun, as you do now, in a once in 29-year cycle, you get to choose your challenge.” Susan Miller said this and I think it was related to the above, can’t totally remember, but man does it sound like something I want stitched on a pillow.

If work has felt slow in the un-fun way, that will change after the 13th. While things are quiet, use the rare moment to hang out with your friends. Jupiter’s in your house of bffs, which means whatever you two or ten decide to do together will be what we in the stars business call “magic.”

Aquarius

Cute Susan intro to June for ya here, I’m just gonna copy/paste it and drop it before we get into the goods: “The little cherubs flying around you are working to make sure you enjoy June very much.” Okay! And aw!

You’ve got Mars in your sign until November 15th this month and it’s making you a brave ass aqua bear. Even still, try to get all your work-work done before June 26th so that you can enjoy your July 4th vacation you have planned. (What are you doing??)

The 19th will be a really successful day, so if you can save a presentation or a phone call until this point, do it. I have a question for you about hair conditioner, by the way, which is whether or not you think I can use a hair mask in lieu of conditioner, because I’m totally out of condish and keep forgetting to buy it, but I’ve GOT TO wash my hair tonight. I can feel it getting heavier and heavier.

If you’re looking for a job, revisit people who you trust from your past to give them a whisper that you’re looking.

What else? The new moon in Gemini — June 13th — will be key for your romantic ambitions. In fact, why not just let Susan close us out the way she let us in: With a quote, of course! “The new moon in Gemini on June 13 will be the first and most important one this year, helping you to generate new love if you are single, and for adding spice to your relationship if you are attached. The Sun and new moon will light your house of true love. This is the first and strongest vibration you’ve had to enliven your love life this year.” Damnit! I’m all prepared to move on to Pisces but feel like that could have been a great vibrator joke!

Pisces

Hi rainbow fish! The person sitting next to me is watching a booooooring movie about airplanes but I guess it serves me right for writing at 10 p.m. When you write at 10 p.m., you rescind the rights to your stupid tiny remote control that always gets lost between the couch cushions. The only good thing about any of this is that I get to listen to the steady clip of Mid-Atlantic Accents.

What to know about June? Ho ho! “You will have time to have fun in the first week,” writes Susan, so breeze through this fast and get the hell outside!!! This mandated party is thanks to the threesome Venus, Neptune and Jupiter are having, creating what Susan calls “an outstandingly festive vibration.”

This vibration is gonna buzz whether you stay home and make a big decision or choose to travel and see what unfolds (watch TSA, though — maybe take out the batteries).

Mars is going to retrograde from June 25th to August 27th, so if you have any grand plans set between those dates, see if you can organize them so that they’re wrapped by the 24th. But don’t get weird about it. Sometimes planets don’t know shit. (Don’t tell them I said that.)

Where they DO know shit, definitely, is in your love life: Venus will be in your fifth house of true love until June 13th, according to Suz, so it’s gonna be a reallllllll romantic time. Eat it up. Here’s a spoon. Or a salad fork! Whatever your preference.

Aries

Fresh Aries! Man oh man is it good to see you. June’s gonna rule. Susan Miller guarantees it. The first two days were intended to be super romantic. Were they? I’d love to gossip about that with you.

If you need to travel, write, give a speech or sign a contract, June 19th is the day to do it. (Info once again c/o Susan.)

You know what you’re going to do a lot of this month? Nest. You’re going to move into an apartment, decorate the one you have, hunt for rugs, finally hang up pictures, clean out your closets, yada yada. How are you getting all the money for this decor stuff? Well, once again, allow me to be but a messenger:

“Abundant money appears to be flowing in, so concern about your monthly budget is not likely to constrain your plans – in fact, you may have enough saved up to buy a house, apartment, or summer cottage.”

You’ll be very popular this month. Maybe you’ll wear a sash! Enjoy the fun and soak it up. Not that the party has to end, but toward the end of the month, by the 27th, you’ll go into full career mode. “Early June and late September will your best time to make key moves in business, and in your personal life, too,” writes Susan. Can’t wait to CEO-ya on the beach near your new cottage in our matching sun hats!

Taurus

Sh, sh, sweet baby sky cows, I know it’s sad that our birthday month is over. Did everyone have a great time celebrating? I sure as heck and hearth (my new home decor company) did.

Here’s something I have never seen: Susan Miller called Uranus “the planet of lightning bolt change,” and while that does nothing except make me think of Sweet Home Alabama, she says it means that we’re about to experience “major shifts” in our everyday lives. The Butts Planet hasn’t been in our home since 1942! What if it doesn’t even recognize us?

What to expect during these wild times: potential moves, potential grooves, career changes, new homes. Susan says we’ll be successful this month but does liken us to bulls in china shops, which I would resent if it weren’t for the fact that I actually do not like to go into glassware stores because I suddenly lose control of my limbs and forget how to interact with gravity.

We’re going to be focused on money management during this time, getting stuff done before the 26th like everyone else (Mars is in retrograde), and, when it comes to love, though Susan doesn’t fully recommend starting anything new, she’s also not your mama. She is, however, a fan of the bulls, and with that, she wants us to treat ourselves to a massage on the weekend of June 9th.

Illustration by Cynthia Merhej.

http://platform.twitter.com/widgets.js

0 notes