#and gaslighting and genuinely manipulating those around you is a SHITTY thing to do
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I feel like Jervis and Hugo would make each other normal (they would literally make each other so much worse)
I'm literally writing a fic right now about them making each other normal (worse). They would fuel each other's fucked up kinks <3 But honestly, at the same time they would make each other better in some ways as well. I love that cute shit <33
And this is where I could have ended this response, but because I love these two so much and think about them all the time, I wrote all this:
It depends on the writer just how ”aware” Jervis is. Some writers like to write him permanently stuck in Wonderland and in some versions (mostly Pre-Crisis) it's like he's never even been there. I prefer the versions somewhere in between; the ones where he's lucid most of the time, but slips back into Wonderland under stress. And I especially like the versions where, at times, it is unclear whether he is actually in Wonderland or just faking it to get out off a situation (think Gotham Central #19-22).
I'm saying all this, because Jervis' awareness is very key to how I write this relationship. Aside from those moments when he is genuinely in Wonderland and genuinely disconnected from reality, he is very aware and has a very keen eye in my verse. This comes from the whole hypnotist and general Mind Games World Champion thing. I think as a hypnotist Jervis needs to be very good at reading people to know exactly what to say and do to put people under his spell. And given that he is an expert in mind games himself, it is impossible to play mind games with him. In general, I love the contradiction of a character who pretends to not even be here mentally most of the time, being actually incredibly keen eyed, smart and fucking with people's heads. They think he's lost his mind, but they're the ones who are about to lose their minds. He might seem like he doesn't understand what's going on at all, and sometimes that really is the case, but most of the time he knows exactly what's happening – even better than most people.
How this relates to Hugo is that he basically has immunity to Hugo's bullshit. You cannot play mind games with him, because he knows every trick in the book. He was there when mind games were invented. My Jervis is like a human lie detector, if lie detectors actually worked and Hugo, as we know, is a big fat liar. I love it, I love it, I love it. Hugo cannot stop lying, it's so second nature to him that he lies even when he doesn't necessarily need to and every time, every time Jervis catches him on it. This is where it's at for me. Hugo has been Gaslight, Gatekeep, Girlbossing his way though life for 52 years and suddenly there's this 150cm tall 48-year-old man who finally tells him to shut the fuck up. I love it. Immovable object, unstoppable force. I love it.
I just love the frustration that it ignites in Hugo when he cannot lie to get what he wants, when someone is forcing him to be genuine for the first time in over 50 years. I think it would remind Hugo of being young. See, he wasn't born a Girlboss, he had to learn how to Gaslight, how to Gatekeep. He was always shitty and was trying to manipulate and control others from a young age, but it was hard. He made mistakes and things didn't always work out and it left him frustrated. And it's all happening again now, his bullshit doesn't work on Jervis and it makes him feel frustrated, angry and finally depressed. But ultimately, it is all for the better.
I think it's evident reading Pre-Crisis Hugo issues, that he wanted people around him and not just as his little minions that he would dispose of when they weren't of use to him anymore. He has those too, of course, but I'm saying he wouldn't have made sure Magda wasn't defenseless if worse came to pass, had he not truly cared for her, he wouldn't have healed Bruce's wounds and ”died” to protect his secret, had he not cared for him. He wanted people around him and he deeply cared for the few people he was close with. All of his relationships are fucked up, because he is fucked up, but it is clear to me that this man both wanted to love others and was capable of loving others.
He wants people around, but I think it's very difficult for him to let anyone that close. Even though in my verse Jervis is the one person next to Batman (and mayyyybe Joker) that he respects, I don't think that he would ever even consider letting Jervis close, letting Jervis see behind the lies. But that's just the thing, Jervis saw thought them anyway. It was like he was forced to let Jervis close, because he couldn't keep him away. And as stated, it makes him frustrated, angry and even depressed, but ultimately, it is for the better. It does him good to be genuine around someone for once. To stop lying for two seconds and just be himself. It does actually make him more normal.
For example, if Hugo was upset over something, his first response would be to lie that he wasn't, as to not seem weak. Think of when Thorne had him kidnapped and beaten by thugs and Hugo was still going on about how: ”Threats mean nothing to Hugo Strange! You mean nothing to Hugo Strange!” Yet, after he had faked his death, he spent so much time and effort on getting his revenge on Thorne – TWICE. This man had to avenge what he suffered in Thorne's hands TWICE. I don't know about you, but I'm pretty sure the torture did mean something to Hugo Strange. Plus, we have seen countless times the way he responds to his plans not working out: faking his own death. Seriously, the tiniest thing goes wrong and he's out there faking his death again. This man CANNOT handle setbacks.
Imagine now if Jervis caught him on that first lie, when he pretends to not be upset. Imagine he was forced to face the fact that he very much is upset. Imagine he had go through that emotion, instead of running away from it (to his ”grave”). If he actually sat through that emotion, he would find it isn't the end. It wasn't that bad. Life goes on. Jervis could never fix him, but I do think that he could make him more normal.
And what does Jervis get out of all this? Well, he gets to play with Hugo's nice round ass <3
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LO RANT:
Each time I hear about the chapters they continue to prove my point each time. Hades really is a fucked up person, you mistreat and abuse your employees who you’ve known for a long long time.. those who’ve worked under you and have obviously formed some kind of understanding with you since they have to live in your realm and work in your corporation, along with your citizens who also deal with you on a daily basis and help keep your realm financially and physically stabilized. All of those people who’ve been there longer than punk ass Persephone and you only give her respect, compassion, understanding, and respect. You’re a fucking asshole, there’s literally no redemption with Hades and that’s exactly why I absolutely despise his ass.
See, I knew I was on to something when I said that Hades is nowhere near a morally grey character, he’s literally the worst person ever. He has no redeeming traits at least that he chooses to display, he never tries to actually fix his problems instead he gets someone else to, and whenever he’s confronted on his shitty behavior he gaslights and manipulates the person confronting him. He’s so fucking evil like I have such a deep hatred for him, he’s not even that fucking nice to Persephone literally he’s becoming borderline controlling and condescending. You can’t say you respect Persephone and then spoon feed her information like she’s an idiot, you can’t say she’s mature or an adult when you baby her like she’s 4, you can’t say that she should be the queen of the underworld if you won’t even let her help with actual situations that need to be dealt with in her realm. I mean… it’s almost as if.. We knew that Persephone was nowhere near capable or even showed any sort of leadership traits when it came to actually being a ruler.
Genuinely I never saw Persephone as an actual queen or adequate ruler of the underworld. Hell, Hades isn’t even cutting it either with his terrible communication and behavioral issues that he keeps projecting onto people he believes is less than. But the problem I have with Persephone is that there’s no record in the comic of Persephone actually trying to improve her understanding of the underworld or trying to come up with any solutions to its problems either. Like she literally just came back from the damn mortal realm after being there for 10 years and even before she got banned she’s never even had any motivation to learn about the underworld. The only motivation she’s ever had was flirting with Hades, she never asked about the realm, how things worked, what the citizens’ concerns, what additions they need to add, nothing. It’s always been about Hades and she’s only had one panel where she was actually interested in taking the realm but of course it was cut off because you can’t have romance and the female lead to have actual aspirations not revolving around flirting and being with the male lead.
This whole situation is irking to me, so many people time and time again always excuse Hades’ shitty behavior and instead try and punish the other characters for doing either the exact same thing or nothing at all. I’m so tired of this bullshit, Thanatos does not deserve to be so disrespected and unappreciated that he gets so jealous at the sight of Hades treating Persephone like a normal person to the point of actively trying to ruin her life. That speaks volumes on how badly Hades always treats him, he got desperate at the opportunity to actually be respected and noticed by his father figure Hades. The fact that this motherfucker brought Thanatos into his damn office just to talk about Persephone who was around the time still A FUCKING EMPLOYEE being queen is just so creepy to me. Like Persephone was still there to work and yet she’s effortlessly rewarded straight to the crown even though this bitch doesn’t do shit. Show me any scene or panel that Persephone actually deserves the crown because genuinely there is none, it’s creepy and weird how obsessive Hades is and how he wants Persephone so badly that he continues to call her his wife and address her like she’s basically his even though she’s already said that she wants to take things slowly. The man obviously just wants a wife he does not care about Persephone’s feeling or anything, he believes that her kindness is an invitation for him to court her and it’s really weird that no one’s thoughts of that.
Anyways that’s the end of the rant on both Persephone and Hades because they genuinely get on my nerves. Persephone is just as much to blame for Hades’ behavior too, I know there’s a few time she’s tried to correct his behavior but it seems like she really brushes it off unless it affects her in some way. Like she never sticks up for anyone else that Hades berates and insults or even try and get him to change. She just allows him to be absolutely unbearable without checking it so yeah it is partially her fault as well because as his only development the more time he spends with her the less of an asshole but instead it seems like Hades is now acting aggressively to “defend” Persephone which is really making things worse. But like I always say this is just a meaningless rant and whether or not you agree or disagree is fine with me, none of these rants hold a lot of weight since I come up with them on the spot so don’t take any of these as fact or importance, also don’t use this as fuel to go after any Hades or Lore Olympus stans, people are allowed to enjoy their characters.
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sometimes i really wanna speak up against whats its like to recognize gaslighting and abuse and manipulation right in front of you no matter how much concrete proof you have . you can have recordings, screenshots, witnesses, everything in the world.
but suddenly YOURE the bad awful person for being paranoid about those things in the first place. YOURE the shitty one for trying to form safety nets in case you recognize patterns and try to make do with what you can to survive in a chaotic situation
its what i feel like i was born for, like ive been preparing my entire life for it. . i couldnt avoid it both on and offline. thats just been my entire life, of having concepts and experiences im supposed to make sense of and being told that whatever i have just isnt true. or even if it is True "it just isnt fair. its just not fair to human beings just trying to grow"
as if the people around you trying to grow too are just stepping stones towards a comfortably uncomfortable guilty conscious that Just ...makes sense to have for some reason????
it feels weird growing up in a world that's trying to change too as much as you are. with maybe a handful of people that genuinely are trying. and failing, but trying really hard to be good people because thats whats Easy to Want. HARD to do but really really Easy to want because its expected and taught and celebrated to be that way. i have to respect it but.
man
u also gotta remember that people are, most of the time, happy with what they believe.. even if it means Sacrificing that Very Ideology. ironically enough they can be the same people that crave goodness as much as they betray it.. as much as they can sometimes even excuse their want for goodness to commit unforgivable actions.
even when things get better its hard to disregard when times were worse and not knowing why it had to be that way.
and unless you really jeopardize your own safety and privacy, and lose loved ones you really care about in the process because of Differences in Values/Morals, all for the sake of a self perceived Form of control and Agency over your life...it truly isnt fucking worth it. defending yourself. youre free to argue against me saying that there is merit in standing up for yourself but until you're in a space with open minded people that wont openly deny whats in front of them its. torture nearly. to deal with that.
im lucky that i care more about my ideas than people. people are just numbers but the types of people u can find yourself surrounded with from caring about your own ideas truly is in control of your Own hands.,,,most of the time.
i am in awe completely over people that are okay with being the victim. im even baffled by people that find some sort of safety in that, like its something to be proud of.. or people that will straight up find Comfort in believing that they are a victim of something even when the things that theyve done are completely by their own hand.
i find the identity of being a "victim" exhausting and horrible to live with. therefore i actively choose to Not Be It even when i know in objective terms that I am, that's not what *my* reality tells me. so i dont.
#vent#long post#ill accept replies but this was not a well thought out post n more like a word dump#that i had to get out of my system before i work on finals again#but i felt like this had to be public rather than private unlike most journally sessions#because i want it to be n i feel like its finally safe to Talk about it outloud
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I was NOT expecting the “reveal” to be THAT BAD
HOLY SHIT that was a MAJOR YIKES
A nonnie:
BRRRRROOOO WTF THE CHEATING I WAS IM JUST…Speechless. Absolutely speechless. It honestly feels extra insidious that (spoiler?) they technically are taking advantage of B’s naivete/lack of emotional awareness? Shiiiit man that’s awful. If I were writing this (a lot of things would be different) but you know at least let people have a chapter of B being fucking pissed and letting HER newly-formed emotions actually fucking mattering for a change! Have E (and I) apologizing or like I giving B the Childhood Ribbons and saying “sowee i was a home wrecker” or SOMETHING!
I don’t plan on ever reading the actual fic, I feel like I’d turn to literal stone (or wish to be stoned) so at most my indirect consumption via spork proxy every 6 months or so is good enough to develop immunity to BS. Godspeed, my friend. Godspeed.
I'm not sure anyone was ready ☠️
Cuz like, most people just thought "Ficleth will understand that Woobiegard was oh so lonely and not mind it at all" cuz, like, that's the go-to for the fic and also the typical "reaction" to cheating when a writer doesn't want to acknowledge their character cheated.
But, like. This is just blatant manipulation, and also outright gaslighting. Ficleth very clearly says "I can't describe myself well, but the way you two act around each other - and likely have been acting around each other for all the time I've been gone - makes me uncomfortable and hurt, and I don't like it." And Woobiegard and Ficgrid's response is to deny it despite the fact that it's literally true, and Ficlain's is to say "that's just jealousy (and definitely not betrayal)!! I feel the same way about Ficgrid and whether or not she actually loves me, but I've since internalized these feelings of mine as completely my fault and completely negative due to the trauma my abusive older brother inflicted onto me when I was a child :) You should do that too!! Because you love Woobiegard so much!!"
Like, Ficlain's reasoning is so clearly one that is springing up as a destructive trauma response to shit completely unrelated to this that I come >< close to not blaming him (he's still shitty for saying it tho, def not off the hook), but the other two? They have no excuse. Don't think there's much more that's more manipulative than "oh, my lover is doubting my faithfulness to them? I'll just kiss them in the middle of them saying so!! That'll be enough to prove my love (and not, like, breaking off the affair I'm having)!"
It's just so unbelievably scummy. Ficleth's feelings are just completely irrelevant - her hurt and betrayal aren't soothed, they're written off entirely. And not even by Woobiegard; she couldn't even muster up the nuts to be the asshole to say that Ficleth's feelings aren't that big a deal. Ficlain does - the other person being cheated on. And he does so with what is worryingly close to genuine abuse victim reasoning. Like, just, look at this:
“I admit it. Sometimes I worry if I come first to Ingrid. I’m not blind. I’ve seen how much she cares about Woobiegard, and you’ve seen how much Woobiegard cares for Ingrid. But every time I have those thoughts, I think about my brother. We could have been a family, but all that jealousy ate him up inside until he threw away his humanity for an evil old spear. I have to recognize those feelings aren’t true, and trust those two people I love, just like you will. That’s the hardest lesson to learn about being human.”
And how that basically translates to this:
"Sometimes I doubt if my lover actually loves me. They often don't really act like they do, and that hurts me. But that doesn't matter. They might hurt me, but if I react too badly then I'll be the one to ruin everything the same way my abuser ruined things, and I have to remember that. My feelings of hurt aren't real, and I have to ignore them if I want this relationship to work out - it's on me to do this, not them. I love them so I have to overlook this, because I know they love me too and that there's a good reason they're doing this to me. That's what it means to be in love."
In just about any other story, unless it's explicitly exploring the mindset of abuse victims, a character who reveals to be thinking that way would be gotten the fuck out of whatever relationship they're in. And the same goes for Ficleth; her revealing feeling betrayed by her lover would've been at least the actual focus of the scene in just about any other story. But nope - Ficlain is peachy keen as he is right now, and Ficleth's only issue is that she thought her silly little feelings of betrayal and hurt were real! And once that's settled the story just moves right along - no apology from the cheaters, or even any admission of guilt, they get off completely scot-free. I'm, just. Completely baffled that that was how the cheating was "resolved"
#ask#anon#o captain my captain#and spoiler alert Woobiegard and Ficgrid don't stop doing this shit even after this lmao so hooray!!#this scene filled to the brim with blatant emotional manipulation was completely unnecessary!!#as it changed nothing of the cheaters' actions!!#and if anything it makes them look even worse as characters!! wowie guys what an amazing scene this was!!
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I appreciate y'all so much for knowing the actual difference between lying and gaslighting
People on the internet love to say he's gaslighting you because that sounds more dramatic and it's a bigger word, when really, you've just been lied to. Still shitty, but they didn't try to make you doubt your own sanity, y'know
So thank you
aahhh thank you anon, i'm glad you feel so!
to be honest it's actually something i feel really strongly about to start with lmao
as you may have noticed i love liar characters a LOOOOOOT, but therefore it means regularly having to read bad takes about gaslighting when it's not actually there, which i feel strongly about to start with as someone who cares about recognizing patterns of abuse in general.
(one of my fav character in a3 for instance hides his past, and lies a lot, except that everytime he lies he just then goes "i'm just joking", and so it leads to people not trusting a single thing that comes out of his mouth, because they know he's probably lying -- and that's how he wants it since it means people won't pry into his life because they will always expect him to lie. Once i've seen people trying to shit on him saying he's gaslighting everyone and i'm??? the WHOLE POINT of his thing is for people not to bother with him and about them actually trusting their guts instead of relying on what he says. He doesn't make them believe a make up story - everyone knows there's something shady about him he won't say, he's not making you believe otherwise, he just makes sure you can't ask about it. It pissed me off soooo bad because you can call him out for lying without genuinely using an important term to describe it)
i think in the case we're discussing, Belial would toe the line between lying and gaslighting a lot more -- while, for comparaison's sake, i think Seofon is just lying. he's not trying to make you feel like your grasp on reality is wrong or anything. If you catch him lying he'll get awkward about it and mostly would be trying to save his ass than trying to make you doubt yourself for catching him lying. Belial, however, could be the type to double down (as seen with his general manipulations, or how he reverse-psychology MC into doing the Seraphics by constantly worrying about them to have them actually go through with it, while his intention seems more to PRETEND he cares so he can lure you into doing he wants. Which is pretty much just, setting a fake situation, lying, so you'd believe him enough to play in his hands.)
and i think the distinction is really important to set up, although it's one that is harder to really establish when you're basically throwing jokes around ahah, but in that case i think it still works.
But i'm glad at least it seems our intention there is clear, over what we mean when we use those words in particular.
so i'm glad you think it seems to be clear <333
Take care!
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There are a lot of abusive or manipulative situations that are allowed to go on, because the abused doesn't want to be an asshole and the dynamic never changes. Manipulative people thrive on the kindness and benifit of the doubt from you. Abusive people can cry and get their feelings hurt without actually feeling sorry for what they did. In those moments you kinda HAVE to be a jerk. A little bit.
it's very hard as someone with ADHD/Autism and like struggling with masking and social skills, and interpersonal skills. I always want to give someone the benifit of the doubt because I'd want someone to do that for me. I want to treat people the way I need them to treat me. To trust that I'm not trying to be a jerk, to take the things I say as me always trying to de-escelate a situation and not as me trying to "clap back" or "twist the knife" or be passive aggressive. And if I realize I am unintentionally or intentionally in the wrogwill try to correct it. So I give other people the benefit of the doubt.
The struggle is, Manipulators, abusers, they need people who put up with their shit. Neurodivergent people who struggle to make friends like having people who treat them like they matter.
So as long as the abuser continues to make you feel wanted and invites you out, and offers to spend time with you, you will just ignore shitty things they do to you. I will continue to try to take the high road, I will continue to forgive them and hope they didn't mean it.
Because I'd want someone to do that for me.
The problem is, eventually you have to dig your heels in and go "I'd rather start over, and be alone, than keep putting up with this."
And it sucks. It sucks because I have that autisim. I have that ADHD. I know i'm capable of being rude, or falling out of contact and my world and brain doesn't relate to other people the way it should. I never know quite for sure if I'm doing the right thing or the wrong thing. I don't know if it's me, or it's them in the wrong. I worry about it constantly.
And the worst part is. These manipulative people. These abusive people. They don't just fuck with me, and my life. They fuck with my relationships with people in the future.
They ruin my faith in other people. But they also burn up all the good will and second chances an ADHD/Autistic person like me needs with other people in the future. People traumatized by cheaters, alcoholics, and abusers will see me and my weird social struggles, my speaking struggles and they'll just see the same intentionally abusive or neglective behavior.
I don't hate these hurt people. I don't blame them. But it sucks. Manipulators, abusers, they don't just traumatize their victims, they make it fucking harder for people like me who really does need some patience and understanding.
Who really needs people to know "I'm not trying to gaslight you, or jerk you around, I can't talk sometimes, I don't think to do this, or say that. It's not because I'm being shitty."
But it's too late fam. The Trauma they faced under abusive, manipulative people means they can't be sure, and so they HAVE to protect themselves. Even if I'm genuinely not doing anything wrong.
Which isn't to say I'm not sometimes a piece of shit on accident. But again, there's no faith or benefit of the doubt when that happens.
Abusers, and Manipulators scorch all earth around them.
And sometimes. Just sometimes. You have to be an asshole if it means standing up for yourself and changing the cycle.
I'll never know 100% for sure if I'm in the right or the wrong, none of us ever really will, if you spend your life trying to learn to see from someone else's point of view.
If I want to integrate, or join other human beings. I got to learn. Sometimes through trial and error, how other people expect me to act. I have to try and imagine what it's like being someone else?
And like it pisses me off that so many people just stumble through life blissfully, luxuriously without that handicap.
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Alright gotta get some opinions off my chest. Potential bad takes below the cut.
I've been seeing a lot of "ot6" tomoons on twitter and it's very frustrating. Because in someways I get where they are coming from? Like it is entirely possible for someone to make up or exaggerate shit because they are mad at their idol ex boyfriend. And like 95% of OP's story reads like a woman who was expecting a married man to leave his wife for her. She doesn't seem as upset by some of the more serious accusations she throws out as she does his lying, cheating and refusing to leave the other girl. Which like... are all shitty behaviors, but are they like career ending cancelable? Western artists do crap like that all the time and we call it entertainment. I don't care so much if he was dating or that he was a shitty boyfriend, I'm never going to date him. I've seen people call it manipulation and gaslighting or whatever, but like... I dunno, what happened to the whole "fool me once, shame on you, fool me twice shame on me"? thing. Is every shitty behavior at the level of like narcissistic manipulation? Is it not possible she just wanted the secret fun of dating an idol and bought his lies longer for that reason? I'm not trying to excuse his behavior and I'm not trying to victim blame... which is entirely what it sounds like I'm doing. I know. But the internet is getting me genuinely confused as to where the line is for gaslighting and manipulation vs just... being kinda shitty. I feel like those terms are thrown around so easily. But maybe it's the case of like... truly starting to call actions for what they are? Like we don't tolerate "locker room" talk or "boys will be boys" type things anymore? I dunno, I'm just too old lol
I'm not actually on the 0t6 tomoons side though because the other 5% of OP's accusations are really serious. Getting her drunk to have sex with her? Threatening or talking about wanting to kill other girlfriends? Breaking into her home? Those are all really serious. Those are beyond shitty boyfriend or general asshattery and go into legit dangerous and scary. They should not be taken lightly. There could be other victims and spamming all this "protectravn" stuff is going to keep them from wanting to report it. The same with like all the picking apart of OP's story. Which I know I did to some extent but here on tumblr without tags vs tagging and trending stuff on twitter feels different. So can't we leave that to the company and police? Slander is a really serious offense in Korea. If she doesn't have proof she can be prosecuted and you bet the company will to protect their income. I feel like the risk of protecting an abuser and silencing victims, not just with this case but with all SA in general, is more important than protecting an idol from a hit to his career.
Also, I know maybe it's not as important, but true or not, but seeing the other members so heartbroken is just gut wrenching. It's giving me 2019 mx feels. That was worse because wonho literally did nothing worth giving a shit about and ended up leaving the group. But still, like the whole situation is sad and shitty for the other members no matter what really happened.
It's just.... *sigh*
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nooo, now I'm curious abt the girl bossing thoughts
are youuuuu???? i have many many many to spare.
this is mostly just my personal opinion on the trend, mixed in with some history of the patriarchy, so take it with a grain of salt. just a disclaimer.
i think that trend was born out of the pressure women face to behave in a way that allows us to fit into our patriarchal society. we are taught, from a very young age, to be meek, quiet, easygoing, nurturing, submissive, etc etc etc., especially in conversation with men. it's only been the last 80 years or so that women have taken a widely acknowledged role in society, but that doesn't mean that society has adapted to that socially. in fact, its obvious that it hasn't yet.
men have been doing the "gatekeep and gaslight" shit to us for centuries. it's actually so normalized in men's behavior within certain communities that a lot of women don't even recognize it. and it's very very commonly used to belittle the emotions, achievements, or experiences of a woman. for men, gaslighting and gatekeeping has been the norm for centuries.
women were not allowed to take roles outside of the home, women were not permitted to have their own bank accounts, women are meant to bear children, etc etc etc. we've been kept from the world stage for so long. not to mention men consistently using women's "emotions" as an excuse before proceeding to belittle them. i mean... for the longest time women were thought to make bad leaders because we "overreact".
most of the time... when we use that trend, we are literally just referring to having strong opinions. it's not gatekeeping or gaslighting. it's just a woman having a strong personality and strong opinions and being told by the patriarchy that it's wrong. so that "gaslight, gatekeep, girlboss" trend was born out of women standing up for themselves, their opinions, and their beliefs without shame against an opposing force (usually men). it's a complete satire. and it's fucking funny. because women (and female presenting people) have been suffering at the hands of the patriarchy for the entirety of our existence.
so personally, when i hear that trend using words i commonly associate with men being used in something by and for women, i tend to lean in favor of it. that's not to say two wrongs make a right. don't go around treating people like shit because "gaslight, gatekeep, girlboss". but i'd be fucking lying to myself and all of you if i said that behaving like an "evil woman" doesn't feel good. some guy wants to act like he knows more about shit than you do despite being equally qualified? gaslight, gatekeep, girlboss. you wanna make fun of him for his toxic masculinity that tries to put you in a “woman’s place”? gaslight, gatekeep, girlboss. someone is being a cunt and overstepping your boundaries? gaslight, gatekeep, girlboss. because it doesn't MEAN to actually fucking gaslight the people you're with. it means to assert yourself.
the trend doesn't apply to the real definition of those things. you're not meant to be walking around acting like a cunt when you're "girlbossing" but you are meant to be walking around acting like a man. that's the entire point of that trend. so i am going to keep being an evil woman and asserting myself and my boundaries. i will keep flexing knowledge to men who speak over me in a bitchy way. because women today deserve to get to have a joke about the way we've been treated. sorry not sorry.
i got rly aggressive in that bc I'm quite passionate. but yk whaaaaaaattt?? gaslight, gatekeep, girlboss or whatever!!!!!
#[ 🏩 – chatting ]#it's very late so this many be a bit incoherent#also i did get a bit uhhhh passionate but I'm not angry#i love u thank u for letting me ramble#tw: sexism#tw: misogyny#id like to be VERY clear that it's not an excuse to do to others what has been done to us#kindness is very important#and gaslighting and genuinely manipulating those around you is a SHITTY thing to do#but that joke??? has nothing to do with that and everything to do with the historical oppression of women#it's (according to my own opinion) very likely that that's why the joke is so funny and resonates with so many women
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What type of Yandere is Grimbly? What does he do, what's likely to spark his obsession etc etc
(Minors dni)
TW: Yandere (duh); Brief mentions of physical abuse.
Grimbly is, by far, the neediest yandere you'll ever have to deal with. Breg is already prone to sticking to you like a tic, but Grimbly outdoes him by a landslide. This monster is starved of attention and validation, he's a black hole of recognition, if your attention is not on Grimbly 24/7- Then clearly something is very wrong here.
This one is an entitled brat. He feels that, after a certain amount of time being around you, he's owed your love. Not just that, but also your constant care and fawning. Grimbly's like a particularly needy house cat that will shove itself in your face anytime you try to be productive. You better have a good excuse to not be by his side, do you really need to finish those papers? He sits there, looking pretty, expecting his obsession to fret over his every cell.
An extremely manipulative monster, this one. He cannot handle anyone taking attention away from him. Grimbly is capable of murder, in spite of his fairly innocuous exterior, but to reach that point, his object of obsession must be impervious to his every mind game so far. And really, he'd rather not have to do gross stuff like touch a corpse. Ew. No, the bat-like monster is much more likely to turn on the waterworks and consistently victimize himself. Come on now, he doesn't even have a real family! He just has you, Y/N, he's alone working as a waiter in a shitty shady establishment- All he wants is someone who can be there for him and tell him he's doing okay. You always do this, you always try to leave when he needs you the most! Gaslight gatekeep, the works my friend. He's not the most subtle about it, it doesn't take a genius to put two and two together and realize you're being played like a fiddle. But Grimbly has his sharp moments, and those overly adorable mannerisms of his do come in handy.
Also quite prone to massive tantrums. He's not stupid enough to try to hit you, considering you're probably much bigger than him and he's hesitant to use any sort of inhuman ability due to how unstable his power is- But you should count on loud screaming and shameless property damage. Say goodbye to every remotely expensive thing you've ever owned if you upset Grimbly to the point of genuine tears. Grimbly is not afraid to make a scene in public and paint you in a very negative light if it means getting what he wants. In fact, if he has to, this little monster will destroy your entire public image for his benefit. He is also prone to coercing violence out of you so that you end up hitting him (or someone else) and he can later on use that against you.
It genuinely does not take much to spark an obsession in Grimbly, he's already desperate for any source of validation, he's going to latch onto the first person who genuinely seems to enjoy his company. He's always been unhealthy with other people due to severe abandonment issues, just take his own (platonic) relationship with Santi for example! It's an almost parasitic caregiver/charge ordeal, and this is because Grimbly is constantly subconsciously seeking to emulate the parent/son dynamic he never had.
What seals Grimbly into a grotesque, feverish obsession with a person is if he picks up on heavy maternal tendencies. Anyone who is genuinely kind-hearted enough to go out of their way and care for others, cherish them, support them. Grimbly hones in on those qualities life a wolf in sheep's clothing, ready to be your pampered, cute little monster boyfriend. Seriously, it's like spidey senses, he can smell a genuine caregiver in a crowd.
To facilitate your situation here, I recommend you really take the caretaker role to heart around him, it's easy to placate Grimbly's bitter moods by spoon-feeding him his own treatment. Well of course he can't follow you to work, he needs his rest, you're not doing this to upset him, you're doing it because you care about his health! You get the gist, right? He won't wise up because the attention melts his brain. Really, aside from his incessant need for attention, Grimbly's not too hard to manage- He may even easily lean into submissive mindsets if you adopt a caring yet dominant demeanor around him.
Ultimately, Grimbly is your purse dog and he feels that you should coo over him every moment of your day.
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Deceitful Curse
Word Count: 10K
Warnings: non-con, stalking, obsession, mild blood, chikan, gaslighting, manipulation, humiliation, degradation, misogyny, exhibitionism
AO3 Link
As promised, this will be a gift fic for my lovely friend @lyrrotting , I promise I will write your four armed Sukuna fic soon to make up for this shitty fic lol <3
It was said that most people had an angel sitting on their right shoulder and a devil sitting on their left shoulder, the two bickered into the person’s ears about many things. While the devil would try to tempt the person, the angel would become the sound of conscience.
However, Yuuji only had the King of Curses whispering in his ear and he himself had to be the voice of conscience within his own mind.
Certainly, there would be a time he would be tempted to listen.
~~~
Life was good, Yuuji had already graduated over a year ago and gotten his sorcerer license to work until his inevitable execution.
Life was good, everyone had moved on with their lives. Inumaki had gotten a girlfriend, Fushiguro had a girlfriend and from what he heard, Maki and Kugisaki were dating each other.
Life was good, they were all happy.
Life was good, everyone else was happy.
~~~
There was a new coffee shop that had opened just two blocks down from where he lived. Naturally, Yuuji wanted to check it out for the sole purpose of seeing how big the place was. When he invited his friends over to his place and if they ever stayed the night, he wanted to have a place he could take them to for a brunch or a cup of coffee.
Unfortunately for him, the place was small. There were barely a dozen tables and nobody seemingly wanted to sit at the cramped coffee shop when they could walk to the nearby park to enjoy their coffee.
The place was crowded due to rush hour so he returned a couple of hours later to finally order something.
As soon as he walked inside, the sugary smell of the sweets and the strong aroma of the coffee surrounded him.
“Welcome!” said a cheerful voice. It was you, beaming at him with the brightest smile he had ever seen on anyone. It looked too genuine to be a fake service worker's smile.
He hesitantly walked up to the counter with a blush coloring his cheeks from the intensity of your smile that was aimed towards him. “Hi,” he said before lifting his eyes up to the menu displays. “Ah.” He had no idea what to get. “Takeaway, I think, and ahh… Um…”
As if you noticed his struggle, you started talking. “If you like sweets I’d recommend my special summer drink. If you like coffee, I can give you the best brew in the whole city. It isn't strong but the aroma actually tastes like fresh coffee beans, I roast them fresh every day.” You were so bright, still smiling. Didn’t your cheeks hurt? How could anyone be this sweet? “Or I can choose a drink for you! Trust me, I’ll make it count!”
He understood none of the things you were saying but he felt like he could trust you to choose a drink for him, so he nodded approvingly.
Clapping your hands together, you walked behind the coffee machine and disappeared from his view. “You live around here?”
Yuuji was caught off guard and didn’t realize you were talking to him for a while until you repeated your question. “Ah, yes! I live around the corner.”
“I’ll do my best to impress you so you’ll buy coffee from here every day.” Your tone wasn’t flirty. It was friendly and inviting, actually welcoming.
“That’s a good business tactic,” he said, matching your tone. “But I’m not that easy to impress.”
“Isn’t my prices enough to impress you? They’re rather cheap for the service you get and I’m not even talking about the quality of my products.” You reappeared with a plastic coffee mug, it had ice and apparently black coffee in it. You poured some sort of golden cream over the coffee on the counter where he could see it.
Like hypnotized, Yuuji watched with his mouth wide open as the two colors mixed in a gradient effect in his drink before you put a lid on it.
“Was that good enough?” you asked, proudly. “To impress you I mean.”
“Y-yeah.” He reached and took the drink you set on the counter. He was carefully examining the colors in awe when he abruptly realized that he hadn’t even paid yet. Hastily he dug his hand in his pocket and took out his wallet, “I’ll come here more often I think if I like the drink of course.”
“Hmm, you’ll like it so I’m not worried.” You smiled as he paid with his credit card. “See you later…” Furrowing your burrows, you looked at him so he would fill in.
“Itadori,” he introduced himself, blushing. “Yuuji Itadori.”
“(name),” you said, offering a cute smile. “Have a nice day, Itadori.”
“Y-you too.” He waved awkwardly and you did the same with a giggle. It was clear that he was a little overwhelmed.
By the time Yuuji exited the shop, he hadn’t realized how hard he was blushing or how he had forgotten to even try his drink. Then he blushed even harder realizing how embarrassing he acted back in the shop but he shook his head to get over those thoughts.
Decidedly, he took a sip from his coffee and immediately understood why you were so confident that he would be back to buy more.
~~~
The next day, it wasn’t exactly the incredible coffee you had sold him yesterday that brought him here.
It was you.
He was trying to convince himself that wasn’t the case though.
However, Sukuna knew the truth.
~~~
“Being single sucks!” Yuuji complained with a whine after slamming his empty glass on the table.
“You should try those dating apps if you really want a girlfriend,” Fushiguro replied and flicked the ash off his cigarette on the ashtray.
“I agree, Itadori, if you really are determined to be in a relationship then you should try meeting new people.” Yuuta fanned the smoke Fushiguro blew towards him away using his hand with a forced smile.
Inumaki nodded in agreement, continuing to munch on the salted crackers and avoiding drinking.
“It’s easy for all of you with pretty girlfriends to say!” Panda cried, “It’s only me and Itadori who’s single.” He wrapped his big arms around Yuuji and started rocking back and forth.
“You can always book a flight to China to meet with a female Panda?” Yuuji said in a confused tone, “Or the zoo?”
Panda froze and loosened his arms around Yuuji before pushing him away from himself. “That was rude.”
“Huh?” Yuuji raised a brow, still confused.
“His type is more… humane, I think.” Yuuta scratched at his cheeks and raised his brows, hoping that Panda would deny what he just said but he didn’t.
“Wait.” Yuuji’s eyes widened, “So, you’re telling me that it would actually work between you and a human, or is it-”
“Itadori,” Fushiguro said to stop Yuuji from delving deeper into the uncomfortable topic. “Leave Panda’s love life alone.”
“Hmm, why did you bring up the topic of wanting to get a girlfriend?” Yuuta asked, humming thoughtfully. “Do you have someone you like?”
“Deja vu,” Panda mumbled under his breath, nobody heard him.
As soon as the question was asked to him, Yuuji thought of one single person; you. The image of your smile and your cheerful voice. It was just a simple crush, the two of you were total strangers. Yet, he was still thinking about you right now and couldn’t get you out of his mind.
He suppressed all of those thoughts and noticed how everyone was looking at him, waiting for his answer.
“No, I don’t,” Yuuji replied.
~~~
Unlike Sukuna, Yuuji was an inexperienced young man. He was a celibate too. Which meant that to him, sexual desires had to come after love. The feelings of love and affection were important when it came to sex. Having sex was an act of love and a form of affection, to prove to the person he was involved with that he was devoting himself to them.
Pathetic.
The kid had already grown up to be an adult but still had the mentality of a child.
Sukuna knew he could help.
~~~
“You’re coming here more often now,” Sukuna pointed out. “Is it because you know the server likes you?”
“No, she doesn’t like me,” Yuuji deadpanned. He pouted cutely seconds later and watched you walk over to his table holding a tray with his drink on it with a bright smile. “I’m here only because this place makes the best coffee.”
“Here you go,” you chirped, putting Yuuji’s drink on the table. Your friendly smile and gorgeous eyes wandered on his face for a moment longer than usual. “Let me know if you need anything else.”
“Thank you.” He was blushing.
You flashed him another stunning smile before turning around on your heels.
“She’s into you,” Sukuna declared.
Yuuji ignored Sukuna’s words and stared after you as you walked back to the counter to take another order. His eyes couldn’t leave the way your hips moved with each step you took.
Sukuna’s lips on Yuuji’s hand grinned before disappearing.
~~~
“The girl looks like her,” Sukuna said.
“Will you be quiet?” Yuuji groaned and slapped his cheek so he would go away.
It was silent, he smiled to himself. Finally, he had some privacy.
The porn actress spread her legs and Yuuji wrapped his left hand around his cock after licking his palm as he was holding his phone with his right. He slid his fist up along his length and squeezed tightly towards the tip. The pressure felt the best when he applied it to the sensitive tip.
Loud moans coming from the actress filled his apartment since he hadn’t bothered to put on headphones. Not that he needed them when he was living alone but it was a habit now. So, he lowered the volume.
However, there was another reason why he didn’t need to hear the moans of the actress.
“She doesn’t sound like her, does she?” Sukuna made fun of him.
Yuuji ignored him and didn’t bother to tell him that it wasn’t the case. He just needed to cum and go to bed, that was it. He was too used to Sukuna interrupting his self-care time at this point and if the King of Curses didn’t mind watching a guy jerk off to some cheap porn, so be it. They were sharing Yuuji’s body and mind. Or not?
Yuuji focused on the video as the girl bent over and started fingering herself in an awkward position. His hand around his cock started moving to match the way her fingers went in and out of her cunt.
She really looked like you.
Wasn’t that why he had chosen this video?
Nevermind. Forget about it.
He had read or heard somewhere that masturbating with the non-dominant hand could give more pleasure. It was something he had done when he was only a teenager to try it out but now he liked to use his left hand.
It felt different, sometimes his hand went numb and it felt like someone else was touching him. You were touching him.
You.
This had to be how a handjob felt, if you ever gave him a handjob it would definitely feel like this.
Yuuji dropped the phone and closed his eyes, only focusing on his fantasies about you while jerking himself off. His hand moved faster while his hips were desperately thrusting up as if to mimic fucking you.
You would tease him, wouldn’t you? Stare at him with a grin, edge him and even slow down just to make him whine.
Or perhaps you would get rid of your clothes hurriedly to ease yourself down on his cock. Were you a virgin? You would be his first, he would want you to be your first too.
Were you the type to whimper or moan during sex?
Where would you place your hands?
Would you move your hips?
Which position would make you lose yourself?
He would want to be on top, so he could watch your face and kiss you.
What kind of face would you make?
Would you be blushing and moaning?
The image of your eyes overflowing with tears while your face was being stained with the same tears and your ruined makeup appeared within his mind.
Yuuji abruptly came harder than he ever had in his whole life and his seed landed on his stomach, his orgasm left his legs shaking in pleasure.
~~~
He didn’t go to the coffee shop the day after from embarrassment.
~~~
“You weren’t here yesterday,” you remarked while making his drink. “I was sure you were going to be here after I made you my new drink on the menu.”
“Ahh, I was just busy and didn’t have time to swing by.” It was a simple lie and it wasn’t like he could ever tell you that he was scared of himself after he came to his fantasy of seeing you cry. “I didn’t think you’d miss me this much.”
“Well, you’re my only loyal customer,” you pouted and put his drink on the counter. Nobody else was in the shop, another coffee place had opened just around the corner. “You always drink my special brew coffee too. It’s like an honor to me that you like my coffee.”
“It’s the best coffee I’ve ever had,” his reply was instantaneous and honest. “I like this place, I can tell how much love you put into making your drinks and it feels cozy here.”
You were grinning, “Mm, tell me more. Praise me more. What else?”
He started smirking but his blush ruined the smug face he was making. “Never mind, you’re weirding me out.”
“Hey! I was just asking you what else you like about my place! What’s weird about wanting to know how I can make this place better?” you feigned anger.
He wanted to tell you that he was only coming here for you. Wait, no. He came here for the coffee. Nothing else.
“What about making new drinks every week? They’d sell more and you’d get to try out new things?” he said after careful thinking.
“That’s actually a good idea, thank you, Itadori!”
Ahh, the way you said his name… Yuuji wanted to hear you say his name again and again. Over and over again.
“It’s nothing,” he replied, rubbing his neck nervously with his hand. “I’m just trying to help.”
~~~
It started with small words of encouragement.
“That woman likes you, I can tell from the way she smiles at you. Talk to her more and befriend her.”
“It’s not like you to say nice things,” Yuuji said, averting his gaze from yours in embarrassment when you looked his way. He hoped you hadn’t caught him looking. “Besides, she’s just a server. It’s her job to attract customers with a smile and sweet talk.”
“Every server needs a master,” Sukuna spoke through Yuuji’s hand. Nobody could see him since the guy had his hand pressed against his ear. “She doesn’t look at you the same way she looks at the other peasants here.”
Yuuji didn’t say anything.
~~~
His finger hovered over the follow button.
”That’s her?” Sukuna asked, his ancient soul was getting used to the technology he saw his vessel was using. “Those are her pictures?”
“Yeah.” Yuuji gulped, nodding languidly. It would be weird if he followed you, right? He had found your account by chance. Not because he found the account of your coffee shop and then scrolled through the following list to find a friend of yours and then searched through their following list to find your name to eventually find your account. Only by chance.
“She looks different in the pictures.” Sukuna was right. You were smiling as usual but you weren’t wearing your cafe uniform. You were wearing normal clothes. Clothes that revealed more of your skin, your shoulders, legs, thighs, and in some pictures your cleavage. There was a smug look on your face when you were looking at the camera as if you knew whoever was looking at these pictures was admiring your beauty.
“Yeah, she does.” He was now looking at a picture of you in a dress that fit you just right, showing your curves he hadn’t noticed in your uniform.
“She’s beautiful.” Sukuna could sense the intensity of his vessel’s stare at your picture.
“Yeah.”
“I’d save that picture if I were you.” Sukuna grinned.
Yuuji took a screenshot.
~~~
“You should be more assertive if you want her to consider you as a man,” Sukuna said as Yuuji was walking towards the coffee shop. “Women like confident men.”
“You come from the ancient times, this is the new age. Women are equal with men and I want her to feel-”
“Women want men. Not boys. Definitely not brats like you.” Sukuna disappeared when his vessel entered the coffee shop.
Yuuji sighed in a dismissive manner, “Whatever you say.”
~~~
Women want men.
~~~
“What do women like in a man?” Yuuji asked.
The happy laughter of the guys died out as soon as he asked that and the loud chatter of the other people inside the bar couldn’t fill the dead silence Yuuji created.
They were all looking at each other around the table now. Nobody wanted to talk.
“I guess they like guys who are assertive,” Yuuta responded when no one else did. “Megumi, why don’t you say something? What does your girlfriend like about you?”
Fushiguro was inanimate as he stubbed out his cigarette on the ashtray and took a long moment to consider what he was going to say. “She said that likes that I’m possessive and get jealous when she talks to other guys.”
“Hmm, possessive and jealous...” Yuuta nodded and then turned to Inumaki. “And your girlfriend liked that she can depend on you, right?”
“Salmon.”
“There you have it,” Yuuta concluded. “They like possessive guys who they can depend on!”
“What about you, Okkotsu?” Yuuji asked. “What does your girlfriend like about you?”
The person in question looked a little lost and taken aback that he was being asked. He had to take a deep breath to keep his facial expressions normal. “She likes that I take control.”
“How?” Yuuji was desperate.
“Isn’t that a bit invasive question, Itadori?” Fushiguro warned in a soft tone.
“It’s not invasive at all!” Yuuta forced a laugh and spoke in the same joking manner. “It means that I was a little pushy and bold, I think?”
Both Fushiguro and Inumaki started agreeing.
“I see.” Yuuji realized that Sukuna was right.
~~~
“Isn’t that her picture?”
Yuuji ignored him and continued rubbing his cock.
His hand started moving faster, his eyes were trained on the picture of you, eyes roaming on your body and imagining how it would feel to run his hands along your curves.
“She looks like she’d love taking it from her ass.”
“Shut up, she’s not like that!” he immediately protested. His cheeks were bright red from shame. He had never done it to the pictures of the people he had met. Only celebrities. It didn’t feel right.
“She’s a woman. I know what women want and like.” Sukuna was confident. “I know exactly what she wants, unlike you.”
Yuuji tried blocking out the curse’s voice in his head and tightened his grip as well as his pace. He was imagining you again, eyes full of tears and you were twisting your body to push him weakly away with your tiny hands as he took you from behind.
Thanks to that fantasy, he came in an instant.
~~~
Yuuji was a good guy.
He was sacrificing his life to save others every day and he was going to be executed for the sake of saving humanity from the curses.
He could never be the bad guy.
~~~
“Welcome,” you chirped as soon as he walked through the door. “The usual?”
Yuuji awkwardly smiled and bowed his head to greet you. “Y-yeah.”
“Had a good day?” Turning around, you walked away from the counter to reach the coffee machine, disappearing from his view.
Yuuji made his way towards the counter and tried recalling how his day had been. He had exorcised a couple of curses and even got the opportunity to catch up with Fushiguro and his girlfriend when they ran into each other downtown. To put it simply, his day had been the worst. “It was a good day, how was yours?”
Dumb.
You were only making small talk because he was a regular here, nothing more. He knew people who worked in small coffee shops like this were always friendly to attract customers, to give a sense of home to people who come here for a drink or the tasty sweets. It was a marketing strategy.
“My day was tiring. I took your advice and put a new drink on the menu but apparently, it’s really good because everyone wanted to try it. However, the thing is… it’s so hard to make it!!” You appeared in front of him again with his drink and pointed behind you, at the menu displays. “I ran out of strawberries twice and had to call to ask my friend to go buy some from the store for me.”
“Woah, that sounds really exhausting!” he said in a tone to match your own while you were making a cutesy pouting face. “Hmm.” There was a momentary pause as he took his coffee from you and grinned. “I changed my mind, I also want to try this incredibly hard-to-make drink too.”
Your shoulders slacked and you gave an exaggerated sigh. “I thought you of all people would pity me…”
“I’m known for being ruthless,” he joked, chuckling. The smile on his face was genuine and he couldn’t stop smiling, it was as if he could never be in a bad mood around you. “But yes, I was joking. No need to call a friend to buy more strawberries or anything.”
You pointed a finger at him with mock threat and anger. “Don’t make fun of me or I won’t serve you again.”
“That’s better than threatening to spit in my coffee.” He tilted his head and shrugged.
“You said it as if I don’t do it all the time.” You raised a brow.
Both of you laughed but once the joke died out, there was an awkward silence.
“Anyway,” you said, gesturing towards one of the tables you clearly had wiped and cleaned because you were getting ready to close the place. “You can take a seat there if you wanna, I sadly have to finish up cleaning.”
When he looked around he could see that there was a mop you were planning to use. He didn’t want to disturb you any longer. It would be weird if he sat down when you were desperately trying to close the shop for the night.
It was rude and you were only being polite to him.
“I’ll drink this on the way home,” Yuuji replied with a nervous grin, and the tension from your shoulders visibly relaxed.
“Have a good evening!” you chirped after him as he turned around his heels.
“You too!” He exited the shop.
“Coward,” Sukuna spat.
“Please, be quiet.” Not again. Not this devil again.
“You could’ve fucked her against that counter. She was all over you, begging for you to make a move.” There was an undeniable smile in his voice.
“Be quiet, will you?” No. You were just an innocent girl. Someone who was nice to him because he came to buy coffee. He was just a customer.
“You, brat, are going to die as a celibate if you keep this up. Have you ever stick it inside a woman before? Do you have any idea of how heavenly a woman’s warmth is? The way they squirm and moan under you as they give you the look of an angel’s and beg for you to take it slow, cling onto you with tiny little hands-”
“Shut up!” Yuuji slammed the coffee on the concrete ground, his chest heaving in anger and frustration.
Some passersby stared at him and walked further away from where he was standing.
Sukuna disappeared with a smile.
Yuuji took a deep breath to calm himself.
~~~
The bells over the wooden door chimed, announcing his arrival.
“Hi!” you quickly yelled and appeared by the counter, your smile widened when you realized it was Yuuji. “The usual?”
“You don’t need to ask,” he replied, eyes softening and shoulders relaxing. He felt like himself in here, he felt at home.
“Did you have a good day?” you asked before disappearing behind the coffee machine.
“It was a bad day until I came here,” he said lumberingly, his cheeks flushed from nervousness. He was terrible at flirting.
You laughed, he couldn’t see your reaction but you sounded happy when you spoke. “Ahh, I’m glad I’m able to make you happy! It brings me joy when I manage to help others have a good day in one way or another!”
So kind and selfless.
The two of you were a perfect match.
Seconds later you were standing in front of him with his drink on top of the counter. “I hope you’ll have a great rest of the night, Itadori! I’m glad my coffee was able to help you feel better.”
He opened his mouth to say that it wasn’t the coffee that made him happy but he closed it when he realized how weird it would sound. “Thank you.”
~~~
“I like you and I think we should hang out sometime,” he said, smiling awkwardly. Seconds of silence passed and he slapped a hand on his face in embarrassment. After taking a deep breath he tried again. “Do you wanna go out for dinner this weekend?”
“You are acting like a brat,” Sukuna mocked. “Go up to her and tell her you to want to make her yours like a real man.”
Yuuji ignored him while staring at his reflection in the mirror and groaned. He hated when Sukuna said things that made sense.
His clothes were ironed and his hair was slicked back with the hair gel he had bought in a rush.
“You look pathetic.” Brutally honest, Sukuna’s voice had a tone of embarrassment in it. He was ashamed of living inside him.
“I look good.” Yuuji wasn’t going to let him ruin this moment. He was going to prove to everyone else that he could get the girl if he acted like himself. There was no need to be pretending something he wasn’t when it came to you. He knew you would want him to be honest.
“She’s going to reject you, brat. Don’t ridicule yourself and take my advice.”
“What’s your advice?” Yuuji scoffed, “Manhandle her?”
“You’re feeling the instinct of mating and lust,” Sukuna said. “You want to fuck her, you don’t want to make love to her or whatever the humans call it.”
“What?” Yuuji forced a smile on his face and laughed hysterically, “Are you even hearing what you’re saying?”
“Love isn’t real. Obsession, lust, and devotion are real though. You want to breed her. Don’t mix up libido with what peasants would call love.”
There was a grim pause.
“I like her,” Yuuji said. “She’s pretty and she seems like a nice person. Her smile is cute and-”
“Do whatever you want, brat,” Sukuna yawned, getting ready to disappear from Yuuji’s cheek. “Try not to throw a tantrum when you get rejected.”
“You were the one who told me to go up to her and make her mine?” Frustrated, Yuuji rolled his eyes in irritation.
“Making some woman yours doesn’t mean to woo her or make love to her. Are all brats the same as you? Don’t you know that women are pleasure dolls for men? They live to please men.” Sukuna was getting serious, he raised his voice with each sentence. “Women are like fish, they don’t have feelings.”
“That’s not true.” Yuuji’s voice got a little weaker than he had intended to. “You’re wrong.” It didn’t sound like he was denying what Sukuna had said and trying to convince himself that wasn’t the truth instead.
Sukuna disappeared from his cheek with a malicious grin.
Shaking his head to gather his thoughts, Yuuji quickly walked out of his room and exited his apartment.
It took him twenty minutes to get to the coffee shop when it usually took him barely ten minutes. He had gotten flowers for you. Not really sure which ones to get, he had chosen one of the pink and red bouquets on display. He was nervous and sweating. He had to wipe his palms down on his jeans to keep them dry way too many times, he had stopped counting after the seventh time.
He stood outside of the cafe, trembling in excitement. There weren't any windows at your coffee shop thus he couldn’t see if there were any customers inside. He could only hope that it would be just the two of you alone since there was something very special he needed to tell you.
I love you.
I love you.
I love you.
He grabbed the handle and opened the door. You were behind the counter, looking down at your phone. As soon as the bells over the door chimed you put it away and smiled, “Welcome!”
I love you.
I love you.
I love you.
Yuuji’s grip tightened around the bouquet he was holding, his cheeks started burning in nervousness.
“Woahh, you’re going on a date?” you asked while he walked up to the counter, your voice was as cheerful as ever. “I couldn’t recognize you, should I give you the usual?”
“Uhh, no.” He paused. When both of you stared at each other he realized how awkward and confusing his answer was. “Um, it’s not a date but I’m gonna ask the girl I like out.” His face was turning beet red.
“Aww, that’s so adorable! She’s so lucky, you’ve even bought her flowers, so cutee!!” You pressed a hand over your chest, feigning being hurt. “Ahh, my heart can’t handle it.”
“Y-yeah.” He blushed harder, shifting his weight on his feet nervously. “She’s one of the nicest people I’ve ever met.”
“You better treat her right then and I hope she’ll say yes.” You didn't miss the eyes on you and continued smiling in discomfort. “The usual?” you asked once it started getting a little too quiet and he nodded.
The uncomfortable silence started making Yuuji reconsider what to say or if he should say them at all. You put his coffee on the counter before he could take his time thinking.
“Is that all?” you asked as you were putting his order’s total into the cash register.
I love you.
I love you.
I love you.
“N-no,” he replied in a quiet voice while reluctantly taking out his wallet to pay for his coffee.
“I hope you have a lovely night, Itadori. Go get the girl!” you cheered him on with a cute smile.
“Actually,” he started, looking at you with his flushed cheeks and fidgeting with his fingers. “Ahh, (name), I wanted to tell you something.”
“Hmm, what is it?” You were smiling, watching him in confusion.
Yuuji decided that he shouldn’t beat around the bush at this moment because he wanted to seem confident. He knew if he didn’t spit it out now or else he would never say it. He had to get to the point and dive in ahead without any hesitation.
“I like you.”
Lifting the bouquet, he held it up towards you as you looked at him and then at the bouquet repeatedly with wide eyes but you didn’t seem shocked.
You opened your mouth to say something but closed it again.
“I mean, you’re such a nice person and I found myself always looking forward to seeing you. I think about you all the time and I can’t get you out of my head. I used to hate it here, it’s a large city with too many people… but then you took over this shop, and now I… don’t hate it that much.”
He was saying all that with a puffed chest and a big goofy grin on his face, his cheeks were blushing as he tried not to look nervous. However, when he saw the way your smile curled down to a frown as he kept on talking, it felt like someone poured iced water down his head.
Yuuji couldn’t breathe.
“Um, that’s flattering,” you said, forcing a smile on your face and taking the bouquet from him. “Were these for me?”
“Y-yeah.” He rubbed the back of his neck.
You nodded languidly, noticing that you were the girl he wanted to ask out. “I… I don’t know what to say. Thank you, I really appreciate it.” You couldn’t find the words that wouldn’t hurt him.
Gradually, he noticed how uncomfortable you looked and his smile disappeared from his face.
“I’m sorry but I’m not looking for a relationship, I’m really busy with working and taking care of this cafe but I appreciate your feelings.” You averted your gaze from him for a moment, a scoff left your lips. Were you laughing at him? “I apologize if my affable demeanor gave you the wrong idea but sadly I can’t return your feelings.”
He looked down to his feet to pull himself together, an icy shiver ran through him as he spoke. “Thank you for being honest with me.”
So childish.
“Of course,” you said, forcing a chuckle.
“I hope we can still be friends, I wouldn’t wanna lose you.” Yuuji was desperate, he couldn’t imagine a life without you.
“Of course!” you repeated with a louder forced chuckle. “I don’t want this to ruin our friendship!”
“Me neither.” He couldn’t lift his head or move, his body had turned to stone.
The pauses started to grow longer and eerily quiet. You were the one who spoke next.
“Thank you so much, Itadori, I’m flattered by your confession and I hope we can be close friends!” Pressing the bouquet on your chest and hugging it with both arms, you used a soft tone to talk to him. “I need to close down and catch the train home, I’ll see you later?”
“Yeah…” Yuuji turned around and walked out of the cafe without saying anything else, leaving the coffee he had paid for on the counter.
“I told you, didn’t I, brat?” Sukuna mocked, voice full of mischief as he appeared on his vessel’s cheek.
“Leave me alone,” Yuuji hissed. He was walking away from the coffee shop, not going home though, not yet. He needed to calm down.
“Women want to be ordered around, brat. They want men to take control. If you act like a brat, they won’t see you as a man.”
Yuuji’s breath hitched upon hearing Sukuna’s words. His knees started feeling weaker than they ever could but he had to stand proud, assert his dominance over the King of Curses and collect himself.
It wasn’t fair! It wasn’t fair that he was in this situation, it wasn’t fair that he was rejected, it wasn’t fair that he was cursed to live in despair. He was eventually going to get executed and he hadn’t had a youth where he fulfilled any of his dreams. He had wanted only one thing, to feel happy with one person and that childish wish must have been too much to ask. Not only he got rejected but now he had Sukuna making fun of him.
“You must be a man and make her yours.”
“She told me she didn’t want a relationship.” Yuuji couldn’t deal with him anymore. “We’re friends.”
“Do you want a woman for yourself or not, brat?” Sukuna sighed in irritation before humming thoughtfully. “I’ll help you,” he offered generously, “I’ll help you make her yours.”
“Leave me alone, Sukuna.” Yuuji was getting angrier, and soon he started to tremble in rage.
“Let me help you to get a taste of a woman, brat.”
“She rejected me-”
“She’s just playing hard to get. A woman like her wants to be chased. She didn’t tell you to get lost because she wants you to keep coming back to her so you’ll continue to give her your attention. That girl would spread her legs for anyone who gives her attention if she wasn’t a prude. She’s a virgin, that must be why she’s acting like this. I can smell it, the blood that’s yet to bleed once her innocence is taken. You need to take it, brat.”
“You want me to rape her, is that it?” Yuuji spat, he had never thought he would say those words out loud.
“I never said that, brat.” Sukuna let out a chuckle, lying. “Let me show you what I mean.”
“I’m not letting you take over my body,” he replied coldly.
“I don’t want to take over your body, that woman is yours,” Sukuna assured.
“Then, what do you want me to do?” Yuuji asked.
Sukuna grinned viciously, “Let's go back to where she works first.”
~~~
“Itadori-”
The door closed after him with a soft click.
You let out a frustrated sigh and pressed the bouquet against your chest, hugging them tightly.
That hadn’t gone well at all.
Your eyes landed on the coffee he forgot to take with him on the counter. “I’m the worst,” mumbling, you put the flowers on the counter to prepare the cafe for closing.
You took the paper coffee mug and poured it out, the dark liquid went down the sink as you watched, hypnotized and lost in your thoughts.
That guy… He wasn’t like any other you met. He was adorable and matched your energy like no other person ever had. You enjoyed being around Itadori and you were glad he felt the same but… he knew you for less than two weeks. He was clearly confused, he had made a friend who he managed to click instantly and mistook his feelings for love.
Nonetheless, you felt terrible. It was never easy to reject someone, especially when you were so busy trying to manage the coffee shop of your dreams you finally got to open.
Itadori had to understand that. He would understand, right?
Oh, he had looked so excited and nervous. He had even slicked his messy hair back and brought flowers…
You hoped he would get over it quickly or at least, he would come to the shop tomorrow so you could comfort him. The two of you needed to talk a little more, you needed for him to know that you didn’t want to break his heart. You felt the need to apologize, ahh, so stupid. You hadn’t even done anything wrong.
It hurt though.
It still hurt.
You hated making other people feel bad. You wanted to be the reason behind their smiles and laughter, not tears.
Packing your stuff and turning off the lights, you left the shop. The door was locked two times as usual before you hurried down the street towards the subway.
The station was packed more than usual and you immediately regretted not listening to your friend’s advice on renting that one apartment down the block. But complaining right now wasn’t going to get you home.
You hopped on the train and shielded the bouquet with your arms wrapped around it as you tried not to get crushed by the swarm of people getting on the train. Once the doors closed, you had successfully managed to find a place by the train door with a little space so you could avoid getting the bouquet crushed.
Facing the doors, you stared out the small window, it was dark but every second or another a light would zoom in and out. You weren’t sure if they were there for navigating or not but you found yourself too focused on the lights as the sudden brake of the train made you stumble forward.
When you regained your balance to stand up straight, there was someone behind you. They were a little too close but it was nothing out of the ordinary, you always found yourself being pressed against other people during rush hours in the subway.
At the next stop, the doors on the opposite side opened and another swarm of people filled the train. Now, the person behind you was trapping you between their body and the door that was in front of you.
You were showing extra carefulness to not let the bouquet get crushed, you wanted to take it home in one piece without anything happening to it. These flowers were beautiful, they smelled amazing too. You wanted to cherish them even if you hadn’t managed to cherish Itadori’s feelings.
As you were inspecting the bouquet you saw a small card that was attached to one of the flowers. You checked it and realized what it was.
It was Itadori’s phone number and a cute little heart drawn next to it with a small message.
‘I’d love to hear more of your voice and complaints about work in private!!’
You didn’t realize you were smiling at the note until something brought you out of your trance.
A voice to be exact.
“Your lover got them to you?” A husky voice asked.
Lifting your head, you stared at the small window. From the almost transparent reflection on the window, you could see that the guy behind you had talked. You couldn’t see his face from his hoodie covering his features but you could tell that he was talking to you.
“Um, not really,” you replied. It wasn’t abnormal to you that other people made small talk to you, you talked to strangers more than anyone else every day. You always overshared anyway. “They are from a close friend.”
“He must love you.” There was an undeniable smile in his voice.
You forced a chuckle, looking down in front of you. “Y-yeah.”
When the train braked abruptly, he got closer. “Touch her-” It was a whisper from the same guy, you were unable to make out the words clearly but you decided to ignore him for the rest of the ride. You needed to get off in twenty minutes and were too tired to act friendly.
That was when you felt the back of his hand brushing against your ass.
You froze, before you could call it an accident and blame it on the crowded train, he pressed the back of his hand more purposefully on the soft flesh.
Fear paralyzed your body and you found yourself at a loss of words. You didn’t know what to do, you wanted to move away but you were trapped between him and the door.
“You’re not gonna ask for help?” he asked, leaning forward to mock you.
It was too humiliating and you were unable to think of anything. Somehow, you shook your head to tell him to stop because your voice wouldn’t come out. You pressed the bouquet harder against your chest in panic, praying to whoever was listening that the guy would stop.
You heard him say something but every other voice was muffled now, it was as if your ears were filled with cotton.
The only thing you did was to hope that you could muster up the courage to push him away and get out on the next stop.
Why was this happening to you?
Why?
“See, I told you.” Sukuna scoffed as Yuuji’s entire face was beet red. “She’s not even gonna ask for help because she wants you to continue.”
Yuuji saw your blushed cheeks in the reflection in the window, you were breathing heavily and standing still.
He couldn’t believe what he was seeing.
When Sukuna convinced him to follow you into the subway train and let him do the talking, he was conflicted because he wasn’t sure what the King of Curses wanted to prove but now, he knew.
“Women live to be conquered by men,” Sukuna concluded, “Do you understand it now or should I elaborate more?”
Yuuji was quiet.
“She’ll bend down and beg for you to fuck her right now if you continue touching her.”
You wouldn’t.
Right?
Using his whole hand, Yuuji groped your ass while trembling from dismay but he couldn’t forethought the way you reacted being anything other than screaming for help or pushing him away.
Instead of fighting back or doing anything he had thought you would, you mewled and stayed exactly where you were.
They were all right.
Fushiguro, Inumaki and Yuuta. They were all right.
Sukuna was more than right. He had been trying to help him but Yuuji was too blind to see it.
“Check her cunt, I bet she’s soaking wet.” Sukuna had said to mock his vessel. He didn’t expect for him to move his hand between your legs and under your skirt to press his fingers against your clothed pussy. Neither did you.
Letting out a squeal, you hunched forward, pressing your legs together in panic as his digits moved along your clothed slit that was completely damp.
He started rubbing his fingers between your folds, your juices soaked your panties and made sloppy sounds each time he moved his digits.
“I can hear it from here, did you wet yourself, or are you this wet for me?” Sukuna laughed audibly.
You shook your head, slouching further down and trying to move away from Yuuji’s hands.
“Women aren’t good liars,” Sukuna said as Yuuji slouched forward with you and pressed himself against your ass. “You’re aching to have a cock inside you, no?”
“Please,” you begged. You wanted him to stop.
“Oh, look, she’s asking so politely to be filled with a cock.” Sukuna made fun of your misery while watching the brat finally grow into a man.
Yuuji was sure Sukuna had taken over his body because he would never hump the girl he liked as he was fingering her over her clothes in a train. In public, he reminded himself, in a train and in public where nobody seemed to care.
His hands were moving on their own, he hooked a finger under the elastic edge of your panties to pull them to the side.
“W-wait, please,” you whispered in a weak voice, finally using a hand to grab his wrist to try to pull him away from your pussy. You weren’t strong or convincing enough though.
Yuuji slipped his fingers inside you and grinded his growing erection against your ass, earning a surprised moan out of you.
The hand that was grabbing his wrist immediately went to cover your mouth to suppress your voice as he started humping you to deliberately mimic fucking you.
“Please, stop…” Your voice was fainter than a whisper behind your hand.
“You say that but you’re pitifully trembling in anticipation.” His lips were brushing against the shell of your ear but it was as if he wasn’t using his mouth to talk.
“I’m not…” You pressed your legs together and trapped his hand between your thighs while he twirled his digits around inside you.
“Lying isn’t cute, you know.” There was a smile in his deep voice, “Come on try harder to lie and make me believe you don’t want it.” He dragged his tongue along the shell of your ear, earning a surprised but muffled moan from you.
Yuuji brought his other hand up to cup your breast over your shirt, his cock was painfully hard against his jeans, and the knowledge of him touching his crush was too much for him to handle. He could cum in his pants if he wasn’t careful enough. Sukuna was saying the most vulgar things to you but instead of pushing him away, you were staying exactly where you were. It was fascinating to see how much you were begging to be touched.
It disturbed him a little, would you let any stranger touch you like this? Would you be this wet for anyone?
Yuuji didn’t want to know the answer but Sukuna did.
“Come on, be honest. Would you be this keen to be fucked by any man or is it because it’s me?” Sukuna asked, he was barely holding himself to switch with the brat, he loved corrupting innocent souls like you. He loved seeing the painful and pathetic cries they would let out as their faces were stained with tears.
You shook your head rapidly as his fingers inside you curled to rub a sweet spot you didn’t know existed.
“So, does that mean you wouldn’t want to be fucked by anyone but me?” Sukuna laughed while Yuuji let out a low groan, grinding harder against your ass, humping you roughly.
“N-nooo,” you were sobbing now, tears started running down your cheeks.
“Good girl… You’re finally being honest. You hear that? She would never want to be fucked by anyone but me.”
“T-that’s not what I meant…”
It was fun to tease girls like you. Sukuna could feel your fear and took incredible joy from hearing your voice crack. “Now, that’s cute… I wanna hear you cry out my name in your cute voice too.”
Yuuji groaned, shaking his head as if Sukuna was going to listen to him.
“S-Sukuna,” he mocked your crying. “Come on, say it just like that and beg for me to fuck you.”
Your body was shaking in fear, your cries only spurred him on and you didn’t know what to do. “P-please stop, S-Sukuna.” The way you whimpered his name, there was no way Sukuna could hold back.
“You better take her innocence before I do it myself, brat.” Sukuna was a man of his word, he had promised the brat to not touch you but if he didn’t man up and fucked you here, he would have no choice but to do it himself. He would never let a girl’s innocence go to waste. The blood of purity was something holy for curses like him. It was the nectar of the gods from the most ancient times, something that could only be attained by the perfect innocent virgins.
“Don’t you dare,” Yuuji spat, speaking for the first time. “She’s mine.”
You didn’t hear him though. His fingers were thrusting in and out of you vigorously while he was humping you and fondling your tit. Your walls clenched around his digits as he moved his hand on your chest between your bodies to impatiently pull the front of his pants down.
Realizing what was about to happen when he finally pulled his cock free and hiked your skirt up, you stared at your reflection on the window, crying and begging him to stop.
Yuuji froze momentarily, pulling his fingers out of you. He could see your expression in the window but you couldn’t see his face. He was stunned by seeing your cheeks wet with tears and mascara running down to ruin more of your makeup, it was… it was purely so erotic and better than his fantasies.
He slammed his hips forward and buried the entire length of his cock in your pussy.
Your virgin walls squeezed tightly around him and the sharp pain of your hymen being torn made fresh tears run down your cheeks. Your hand covering your mouth went to the door in front of you to keep your balance because of the ferocity of his thrust. Your lips parted to scream in pain but his fingers being shoved inside your mouth stopped you.
You tasted your bitter juices on his fingers as he twirled them around your tongue, catching the muscle between his knuckles.
Yuuji felt lightheaded by the fact that he was actually having sex with his crush, on top of all that, you were both each others’ first. He knew he was going to cherish this memory forever and even though he would have liked to do it in a bed with the lights off, this was fine too.
It didn’t matter where he was as long as he had his cock inside of you.
With a moan, he staggeringly pulled his hips back to abruptly slam into your pussy. The blood of your innocence acted as a lubricant, made it easier for him to slip inside, and made a sloppy sound each time he thrust inside.
You could feel his entire weight settle on your back while he nuzzled against the side of your neck before he shakily licked the sensitive skin to get a taste of you. Instinctively, you tried moving your head away from his mouth but his fingers in your mouth prevented you. To put it simply, you were trapped and were at his mercy.
He picked up a discreet but still desperate pace to fuck you, he was still cautious of the two of you being in public but he was still delirious to be having sex with you. Sex. Did it always feel this good? Were you feeling good too? You wanted it, he knew you did because you told Sukuna you wanted it.
Slamming his hips forward, he knocked the air out of your lungs, you gasped on his fingers, drooling all over yourself from having your mouth forcefully kept open by his long digits.
Yuuji was hopeless to mark his territory, to mark you as his. He wanted everyone to know that you belonged to someone when they looked at you. You were his and only his.
His cock grew bigger inside you at the thought of him owning you. He started fucking you frantically, no longer bothering if the people around had noticed or not. Your cunt tightened around his cock and you felt his teeth sink into the sensitive flesh of your neck. He bit hard, hard enough to draw blood and leave you trembling in numbing pain.
Your eyes rolled to the back of your head as the tip of his cock hit a sweet spot and your legs shook uncontrollably under you, they were struggling to carry your weight.
His teeth sank deeper into your flesh and you dropped the bouquet you were holding against your chest to involuntarily arch your back instead. He chewed on your skin as he felt your virgin walls pulsate around his cock, you were begging to be filled with his seed, weren’t you?
Women were nothing but a bunch of breeding holes anyway. They all acted like innocent angels when deep down they all were whores. Pleasure toys for men. They lived to please men, didn’t they?
You lived to please Yuuji, didn’t you?
Yuuji pulled his hand out from your mouth and stopped biting you. He licked the blood from your neck to focus on fucking you with frenzied thrusts instead. All of his inexperience and desperation were behind his thrusts, along with his entire weight, forcing you to take the very shape of his cock and never forget the girth of it.
Continuing to peppering small kisses on your neck, he started angling his hips just right to hit the spot that made your knees unbuckle. One, two, three thrusts, and your legs were a shaking mess. You moaned in response before he wrapped an arm around you to keep you up on your feet.
“It feels good, doesn’t it?” Sukuna spoke suddenly, startling both of you. “You shouldn’t hold back anymore.”
Yuuji wasn't sure which one of you he was talking to but he kept on nodding and moving his hips.
“Nobody else is going to hear you, give me an honest answer,” Sukuna was chuckling. “How does it feel?”
How does it feel to be fucked?
How does it feel to be fucked on a train?
How does it feel to be fucked in public?
How does it feel to have your innocence taken away?
How does it feel to indulge the darker parts of your mind?
Yuuji’s hips stuttered when your walls clenched around him tightly as you refused to answer.
“I won’t know how it feels if you don’t tell me, (name).”
Your mouth popped open and you moaned upon hearing your name. How did he know your name?
As soon as he thrust into your pussy, you forgot about it and let out a moan.
Were you always this depraved?
He continued fucking you frantically. His pace was faster and more ruthless, he was close. With each thrust of his hips, he left you moaning in involuntary pleasure but there was no denying that it felt good.
It felt so good.
“Tell me, (name).”
It felt so good.
“Come on, tell me.”
“Please,” you begged. It feels so good. Feels so good.
“That’s not what I wanna hear,” Sukuna murmured. “Come on now.”
The automated voice announced the next stop.
“Hurry it up already.” He was getting impatient.
“It feels so good,” you whimpered, defeated.
“Good girl,” Sukuna grinned before disappearing from Yuuji’s cheek.
The shame overwhelmed all of your senses and you looked at your reflection in the window once more, you caught a glimpse of your aroused expression. You were such a whore.
Yuuji slammed his hips forward one last time and you felt the small twitch of his balls against your skin before his cock twitched, spurting thick ropes of cum inside you.
The train stopped and he pulled out of you.
His seed started gushing out of your pussy before starting to trickle down your legs. Most of the bodily fluid had pooled under you and when you fell hard on the ground, they soaked into your skirt.
The guy who assaulted you was nowhere to be seen as the doors of the train on the other side opened. Many people hopped off the train but nobody paid any attention to you and you were sure they had been oblivious to what had happened. Nobody would care anyway.
A sob tore out of you and you tried getting up. Your legs were like jelly but as you managed to stand up, you noticed the bouquet you had dropped. More tears started to come out, they blurred your vision and you found yourself grabbing it from the ground.
Thankfully, it wasn’t crushed.
The train doors closed and it started moving forward while you were trying to fix your skirt.
Ah, that was your stop…
You sobbed again but pressed a hand over your mouth to not disturb anyone. Your crying didn’t stop even after you got off of the train on the next stop. You wanted to call someone to help you get back home because you weren’t sure if you could make it alone. Your legs were hurt, the throbbing pain coming from between your legs wouldn’t let you walk or stand up.
You weren’t going to tell them what had happened. Nobody could know. You didn’t need their pity. You were too ashamed.
Sitting on a bench, you scrolled down your contacts but none of the names there would help you. Not unless they had something to gain from it. Wasn’t that why you dropped everything and moved here to open a coffee shop?
How pathetic of you.
People only used you for your kindness.
You shifted on your seat and something slipped out from the bouquet. When you picked it up, you noticed that it was the note Itadori had written for you.
There was an ugly pause before you dialed the unknown number and a familiar voice responded.
“Hey,” he sounded awkward. Of course, he would, you rejected him. “What’s up?”
“Itadori,” you whimpered, voice cracking. Immediately, you cursed yourself for being this pathetic.
“A-are you o-okay? W-what happened?”
Bursting into tears once again, you only told him that you only needed help in shame after clearing your throat.
It took him barely fifteen minutes to arrive at the station to get you. You wiped your tears as soon as he came into your view. He was breathless, face beet red from running.
“You okay?” he asked in between breaths. “I ran here as fast as I could.”
He ran here.
Has anyone cared for you this much?
“Yeah, thank you and ahh, I… This is embarrassing… I twisted my ankle and needed help getting home.” You were never a good liar but you hoped he was gullible enough to believe it. “I know it’s weird to call you here but none of my friends would come if I called-”
“Ah, it’s no problem!” He rubbed the back of his neck nervously and chuckled. He had been worried for nothing. “I can carry you, that’s what friends are for, right?!”
You nodded and bit your lip to prevent yourself from crying. He was too kind. Too similar to you.
“Want me to carry you on my back? Or like this?” He emphasized his words by holding his hands in front of himself to show you that he was offering to carry you bridal style.
“Yeah, that would be better.” You masked the shame with a fake smile. You were embarrassed that you were pathetic to ask him for help even after you rejected him earlier tonight.
He smiled and took a step closer towards the bench. You wrapped your arms around his neck as he slid his arm under the back of your knees and placed a hand on your back to support you as he lifted you up to take you home.
You were grateful that you had a friend like him in your life.
~~~
The next day Yuuji came to the coffee shop to take your offer from the last night about giving him a free coffee drink of his choice.
You served him his coffee with a smile and sat with him on one of the tables, talking about your day as he listened to you complain.
In the end, Sukuna was right, Yuuji realized.
Women were begging to be fucked. Women secretly wanted it and that was why you were acting indifferent after all that happened the day before.
He had been worried over nothing, besides, he needed to be more confident and assertive like everyone told him to be. Then he would get the girl. That was what every article he read online, all of his friends and people around him told him. That was what Sukuna told him.
“Wanna go get dinner after you close the place?” he asked, taking a mouthful of his coffee.
“I need to clean and it might take a long while-”
“I’ll help,” he replied, smiling. “Everything’s on me.”
How could you say no to that? How could you say no to anything he had to say?
In your eyes, he was the nicest guy in the world.
Were you really going to pass on the opportunity to have him in your life?
“It’s a date then?” You were grinning, cheeks flushing as you said it. Slowly, you placed your hand over his on the table.
Yuuji gave you a blank stare, something sinister sparkled deep within his eyes but you couldn’t see it. Unbeknownst to you, his other hand under the table had a mouth on it that had an unsettling grin on it too. It was funny how clueless you were. Nonetheless, Yuuji took your hand in his to give you a reassuring squeeze and made you blush harder before agreeing, “It’s a date.”
#idk if i should tag this with the characters tbh this was too dark for me...#i won't tag it cuz i don't want anyone reading this lmao anywayy#i know my endings suck but yeah <3#panda x munkey fic coming up next <333#anywayyyy going inactive again byeeee <3
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can u do the sfw alphabet for nigari pls??
Sure! Hope you enjoy! 💕
SFW Alphabet | Suguru Niragi
{Alice In Borderland Masterlist}
Character: Suguru Niragi
Genre: dark
Warnings: strong toxic relationship themes, obsessive themes, blood, threatening, manipulation, gaslighting, physical & emotional abuse, a couple of suggestive themes, mention of body checking, mention of killing sprees
Author’s Note: I know I’ve mentioned this before, but just a reminder that I prefer to write Niragi as his true character. I would prefer not to pretend that he’s secretly a good man, because he’s not. Please do not read if you find any of the warnings upsetting or triggering! I don’t want to make anyone uncomfortable!
*this is based in the Borderlands
A - Affection
(How affectionate are they? How would they show affection?)
His love language is so hard to decide
I think he’s a mix of quality time and physical affection
There would be random times where he would just follow you around The Beach
He wouldn’t necessarily even talk to you, just trail you like a shadow
You would be well aware he’s there, he’s not that good at keeping quiet since he’s such a heavy-foot
But you never tell him that, and just give him the satisfaction of believing he’s being sneaky
He would give you random pecks on the cheek when walking past you in the halls
There has been times when you would be talking to someone and he would just run up and pick you up from behind and run off while laughing
B - Best Friend
(What would they be like as a best friend?)
He’d be the most annoying piece of shit
You’d never get alone time, he would always just pop out of the most random places just to annoy you
He wouldn’t want a best friend that couldn’t take his harsh jokes
Everyone at The Beach would be terrified of you two
You’re like the most dangerous duo, no one would want to be put with you two for a game, it’s a guaranteed lose
C - Cuddles
(Do they like to cuddle? How would they cuddle?)
He would have a weird obsession for cuddling you
Would NEVER do it in front of anyone else though
He’d demand your cuddles, like he would get angry if you refused
Sometimes would just randomly grab you from your friends and drag you to his room so he can lay his head on your lap
“Play with my hair,” “Niragi, I wasn’t finishe-” “Shut up and just do it.”
Would fall asleep just from you braiding his hair
Don’t move though, if he wakes up he’ll accuse you of trying to leave
D - Domestic
(Do they want to settle down? How are they at cooking and cleaning?)
He kind of pushed you into moving into his room with him
He said it’s better because it’s bigger due to his higher wristband number
Would start to believe that you’re kind of becoming more close from moving into his room
But, he’s so bad at maintenance
His job is security, so he doesn’t know how to work in a kitchen or let alone clean
You’d have to clean the room and wash the laundry yourself
Sometimes Niragi would feel a bit guilty and try and help, but would fail miserably and become too embarrassed to even keep assisting
E - Ending
(If they had to break up with their partner, how would they do it?)
Brutally
No remorse whatsoever from this man
If he broke up with you, he would tell you in the meanest way possible, probably through public humiliation
If you broke up with him though, oh no hun
He’d at first just not let you break up with him and give you a warning
But if you didn’t listen to his warning, all hell would break loose
I’m talking about pouring buckets of blood through your windows, shooting bullet holes through your door with his rifle in the middle of the night, threatening to kill those close to you
You wouldn’t be able to take it, eventually just going back to him just to make him stop
{Here’s a short headcanon elaborating on this further}
F - Fiancé(e)
(How do they feel about commitment? How quick would they want to get married?)
Getting married in the Borderlands is impossible, but Niragi would always look towards the future with you
He would’ve dreamt about going back to the real world and finally being able to marry you
Sometimes he thinks maybe you could run away from The Beach with him and get married by yourselves
But yeah, he would be quick with moving forward and be committed completely to your relationship
G - Gentle
(How gentle are they, both physically and emotionally?)
You already know what I’m going to say
He would never be gentle, it’s not in his personality at all
Physically, he wouldn’t be fragile with you
He’d rough you up a lot, grabbing your wrists or pulling you harshly by your shirt
But when you approach him about it, he would gaslight you into believing that you made him do it and that he has to control you to keep you safe
Emotionally, no
Doesn’t hold any regard for your feelings, says whatever the hell he wants to say
Don’t even think about opening your emotions to him, he would shut them down so quickly by belittling you
“Aww my wittle bunny feewing sad? Deal with it, I’m not a therapist.”
H - Hugs
(Do they like hugs? How often would they do it? What are their hugs like?)
Very sudden and tight hugs
Always gives you a jump scare by sprinting up behind you and throwing his arms around your waist
He would hug you as often as he could
He doesn’t care if you refuse his hugs when it’s just the two of you
But when you refuse in front of people, he gets embarrassed and makes a mental note to teach you a small lesson later
I can imagine him having quite warm skin, so sometimes you would push yourself into his arms if the breeze was making you cold
I - I Love You
(How fast do they say the L-word?)
Would say it as a joke, before you guys were even together
Probably to tease you, or take you by shock
Or maybe that was him being genuinely honest
In the relationship, he would say it when you’re mad at him, because he can’t take you seriously when you’re mad
“Niragi can you cut that out!?” “NOoooo I love you~”
J - Jealousy
(How jealous do they get? What do they do when they’re jealous?)
Ohhhh no, they can’t get any worse than this man
His jealousy would be out of control
You can’t even smile at anyone else in his presence
If you did, he would grab your jaw and make you look at him again
One time a new member of The Beach thought that they could try and kiss you, not knowing that you were the infamous Niragi’s S/O
Let’s just say that no one saw them after that incident
He also once backed a man against a wall with his sniper rifle to his head for staring at your ass for a bit too long
Don’t make this man jealous, it never ends well
K - Kisses
(What are their kisses like? Where do they like to kiss you? Where do they like to be kissed?)
He would use so much tongue it would be suffocating
And he would hold your head in his hands roughly so you couldn’t pull away
When it’s just you two by yourself, there wouldn’t be a moment where his lips were off you
Is obsessed with kissing your neck, could never get enough of it
Would absolutely love it if you kissed around his ears, like he would melt
When in out at the pool or in the lobby with everyone else, he would actually prefer to not kiss at all
He would feel weird if people stared, cause you were his and his only and he didn’t want other people looking at you
L - Little Ones
(How are they around children?)
He would hate kids
He wouldn’t carry a shred of love for them
Most kids would be terrified of him anyway
Kids (if there is any at The Beach) would approach him because they thought his piercings or gun was cool, but he would say some freaky shit that would scare them off
I mean most people would tell kids to stay away from him anyway
But he would have this weird love for watching you play and look after kids
He didn’t know what it was, but it always made him fall deeper in love to see you playing immature games just to keep the children happy and smiling
M - Morning
(How are mornings spent with them?)
You would always wake up before Niragi
Don’t try and leave the bed though because otherwise he would instantly wake and drag you back into his arms and hold you ten times tighter like a cage
Most mornings would be you laying in bed contemplating what to do for the day while waiting for Niragi to wake up
When he does eventually, he would instantly want cuddles and kisses
You don’t get a choice in it of course
Waking up would be a slow process, but you would get there eventually
N - Night
(How are nights spent with them?)
Niragi always works around The Beach until late, so he would probably tell you to go back to the room around 11pm
You would spend the time reading or sitting out on the balcony and watching the stars
Niragi would come back and walk out to the balcony to find you
He would wrap his hands around your waist and push his face into your neck, nipping at your skin
“Are you coming to sleep or what?”
O - Open
(When would they start revealing things about themselves?)
This man would have walls upon walls upon walls
He’s never opened up to someone before and he wasn’t going to start just because he had a partner
He spent years building his personality so he could protect himself from others, why would he suddenly tear it down?
He wouldn’t, the furthest you could ever probably get with him is during a screaming match between you two, he said something in the heat of the moment about his shitty childhood
You would freeze and not say anything as he storms out
But other than that, you were never getting anything out of him
P - Patience
(How easily angered are they?)
I actually don’t think he’d be that easily angered
You could do anything, scream at him, punch him, insult him but he would always keep that cocky smirk on his face
But if you were to publicly humiliate him, that would be another story
If you try to show dominance over him in front of his militant group or other members of The Beach, he wouldn’t hesitate to slap you in front of everyone
He always wanted to be conveyed as the top of the food chain at The Beach, so if you came anywhere near to damaging that reputation, he’d make sure you were put in your place
Q - Quizzes
(How much would they remember about you?)
Every little thing
He’d know you better than you know yourself
It would honestly become frustrating though, because he would know when you’re lying or when you’re hiding something just from your body language alone
I feel like he would ask the chefs who made food at The Beach to always make your favourite dish that reminded you of home
It would probably be the only actual human decency Niragi would show to you
R - Remember
(What is their favourite moment in your relationship?)
His favourite memory of your relationship would be when you brought back a gift for him after your game
You walked past a cute trinket shop on the way back and saw a small glass raven in the window
You thought Niragi would like it because one of his favourite animals is a raven
He would be over the moon excited, but would try to play it off like it’s nothing
He’d keep it on his bedside table and clean it everyday so it stays shiny
S - Security
(How protective are they? How would they protect you? How would they like to be protected?)
He’d never let you out of his sight
He’s incredibly controlling, so he wouldn’t let you have a say in most things
He would always have you by his side, arm around your should tucking you into his chest
No one would even approach you when you’re with him because they’d be too scared he’d get the wrong idea
One time he threw someone over the bar counter and into the glass alcohol bottles because they thought they could try and lure you into their room
He’d be very much over dramatic, almost killing anyone who tried to hurt or flirt with you
At games, he would not let go of your hand
He wouldn’t let you do anything, he would drag you around and kill anyone he sees
Being with him would be a guaranteed win every time, but he sure would make you feel awful about it
T - Try
(How much effort would they put into dates, anniversaries, gifts, everyday tasks?)
He wouldn’t put that much effort at all I think
He’d see all that petty romance stuff as insignificant and a bit stupid
Wouldn’t bother remembering anniversaries, I mean there wouldn’t be much of a point while being stuck in the Borderlands
He has the mindset that you should devote yourself to one another without the need of gifts or dates
The closest you would ever come to getting a date with him is those nights you would spend together on the roof to look at the stars
But even then he would complain about it, because you would have to end up dragging him up there yourself since he doesn’t let you go anywhere without him
U - Ugly
(What would be some bad habits of theirs?)
You already know
Too many to count
He’s violent, he’s aggressive, he’s overprotective, he’s obsessive, he’s abusive, he’s unforgiving, he’s stubborn, he’s unempathetic, he’s psychotic
The list could go on forever
It would always make you question why you ever got involved with him in the first place, even if he didn’t give you much of a choice
Probably the only good thing you would get from him is constant attention and guaranteed protection from anything that could potentially harm you
Being with the scariest man on The Beach would have few pros, but they would still be useful at times
V - Vanity
(How concerned are they with their looks?)
I actually think he’s really concerned about his physical appearance
He probably pierced his own eyebrow, nose and tongue while he was in the Borderlands to appear more threatening
In the mornings, he would take forever to get ready
Probably does body checks in random reflections throughout the day
Yeah idk, I just think based off his personality, he would try so hard to come across as intimidating to keep his insecurities away
Sometimes he would tell you to tell him your favourite things about him just to reassure himself
He wouldn’t even care if you were lying, just hearing it would make him feel somewhat less insecure
W - Whole
(Would they feel incomplete without you?)
He would go clinically insane if he lost you somehow
He’s obsessed with you, why wouldn’t he?
If you didn’t return from a game or if you randomly disappeared, a few people were definitely become a victim of his rage
Would go on a killing spree, blinded by his anger and sadness
Would probably regret it and just sob loudly in your shared room for a bit, hugging your clothes to his chest
He would go searching for you everyday, wouldn’t even keep track of his visa
He had to find you, otherwise he would lose himself further than he already had
X - Xtra
(A random headcanon for them)
I feel like you would be the only person who would be allowed to touch his sniper rifle (I hope that’s what his gun’s called)
I mean obviously not to use against him, but he would give it to you if he ever had to be separate from you during a game for some reason
He would take you out to shooting practice, just aiming at crows or tree branches to help you get the hang of it
Sometimes the shot would be so forceful you would fly backwards onto your back
Niragi would always laugh hysterically at you when that happens
He would never let you use it at The Beach without his supervision though, he’d be so scared you would injure yourself
Y - Yuck
(What are some things they wouldn’t like, either in general or in a partner?)
He would hate a partner with a huge personality
Would very much prefer someone who was more quiet and timid, because they would be easier to control
And he just loves the thought of looking after and protecting someone, even though he’d be really bad at making you feel safe around him
He wouldn’t like someone who acted independent and didn’t need him
He’s insecure so he would need that reassurance that someone wants him
In general wise, I think he would hate sleeping
Somehow he just manages to run off 2 hours sleep everyday
He would get tired but he would just despise sleeping for some reason
It might be nightmares of insomnia, but he never really would bring it up so you wouldn’t ask
Z - Zzz
(What is a sleep habit of theirs?)
He has to be hugging something
He cannot sleep without having both arms and both legs wrapped around you
If you were being stubborn, he would just squeeze you tighter
You’d still be in the same position in the morning
Doesn’t care if you’re overheating, he if wants you close then he’ll make sure you are
#alice in borderland#alice in borderland imagines#alice in borderland imagine#alice in borderland headcanons#alice in borderland scenarios#alice in borderland reactions#alice in borderland x reader#aib#aib imagines#aib imagine#aib headcanons#aib scenarios#aib reactions#aib x reader#niragi imagines#niragi#niragi imagine#niragi headcanons#sfw alphabet#niragi scenarios#niragi reactions#jdrama#niragi x reader#suguru niragi#suguru niragi imagines#suguru niragi headcanons
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Kristoph Gavin Character Analysis I
Part 1 of... fucking infinity, I hate this bitch so much lmao.
Well, it's Halloween time and I just thought, why not. So let's answer this question.
What makes Kristoph Gavin a scary character/villain?
A soft spoken gentleman with a deadly secret... the Devil, who lives in his hand, that crazy evil scar thing, his creepy music theme... damn, he’s a scary dude. But scariest of all? His psychology, as we all know. (This is mostly gonna be headcanons. but ya know what, I have a license (hands you a piece of paper that says ‘i can do what i want’))
Kristoph seems like a person who is very aloof, particularly when it comes to personal relationships. At first he kind of just seems like the typical anime glasses guy whose main emotion is like whooa he does the glare thing with his glasses sometimes. But... what is he really about?
You know, let me digress for a moment, what's really interesting to me about the AA characters is how much depth they have in their writing. Case in point, Adrian Andrews. There's a character who you assume is just going to be the typical "anime glasses girl" who is a career woman who don't need no man, and is very aloof, cool, and as she says, not concerned with irrelevant topics or things. Later you learn about the true depths to her personality. The fact that she is codependent, that she needs other people telling her what to do in order to survive. Just because she masks these emotions doesn't mean they don't exist. I felt that really gave a lot of depth to her character and added another dimension that stories in this genre don't often address as boldly or fully (especially when it comes to a female character). So the quality of the writing is always really top notch with only a few exceptions. Take this as context...
Now getting back to Kristoph Gavin. Typical anime glasses dude, right? But no, though. One of the reasons why he's so interesting to me is how his emotional understanding of personal relationships really works. Or seems to, anyway.
Based on the endgame testimony and his crimes, Kristoph Gavin is extremely dangerous because, should you get involved with him in any way, he will never, ever let go of you, ever. Once you are entangled with him he wants you to stay entangled, not unlike an overbearing parent who refuses to let you go. It's partly that he thinks he knows what's best for you (that is, to stay completely loyal to him). And also partly... because he is pretty dependent on what other people think of him. So he needs to keep them around him closely.
Kristoph's biggest fear was his lying being exposed for what it was. That Phoenix was really the honest, straightforward attorney, and not him. Kristoph would do anything to perpetuate his own false reality. He kept it going for seven years. His absolute worst fear of all was losing his reputation. Being seen for what he truly was in front of others. He could never accept that. That fear drove all of his murders. Fundamentally, he sees himself as benevolent... when nothing could be further from the truth of how he was hurting everyone who had the misfortune of crossing his path.
Kristoph has a need to perpetuate this false identity of himself above all else. A very adjacent second goal to that is to keep all of his personal associates very close and under his control in order to keep the first goal intact.
Reject him and he will stalk you until you are dead. By his hand, or otherwise.
Slight him, and he will get you at the first opportunity, case in point, Zak Gramarye. (He only had to get a quick glance at the guy and his fate was sealed. Turnabout Trump is a chilling case.)
Replace him, and he will tear your life and livelihood up into little itty bitty pieces. He will then continue to stalk you aggressively for seven years while pretending he is your best friend. Case in point, Phoenix Wright.
Create false evidence for him and you become a loose end. So does your daughter. Like I said, just don't get involved with him. If he feels threatened, Kristoph Gavin will not hesitate to end you. It's definitely an obsession. I mean the first word that comes to people's minds when it comes to Kristoph usually isn't "obsessed", because he gives off the aura of being calm and uninterested. But he is, he's obsessed. You have to be obsessed to do what he did. This shit consumed his every waking hour, and that's what he won't admit. That he was so sick, he completely lost the plot. Phoenix was already living in his head rent free the day he ordered the forgery. And even though Phoenix wasn't physically present at the Misham trial and was only watching everything by video camera, you can bet Kristoph was seeing Phoenix. Hallucinating him, images of him. Probably multiple images of him. That's how obsessive. Imagine letting something or someone control you to that extent. Imagine thinking that you're so important, that Phoenix taking Zak Gramarye's case at all was meant to be a slight against you personally. (It's funny because Phoenix mentions not even knowing Kristoph at all until after the disbarment. So Kristoph's own logic in thinking that Phoenix was just out to shame him absolutely doesn't track. Ob-sessed, dude.)
It's actually pretty astonishing that someone like Apollo made it out alive. On a side note, I really think Kristoph enjoyed having someone to mentor. He sought someone like Apollo out. Someone naive and new to the field for him to indoctrinate. And maybe I have a post about that later, cuz that's a whole 'nother barrel of monkeys right there. (It kind of involves Apollo’s naivete (also, daddy issues, hello.) being a huge reason why he would gravitate towards having a mentor known for having a “caring” personality. And I think Apollo genuinely liked that about him, which makes the end result so much more awful for Apollo to deal with because to him, that was real.)
But now think of Klavier, right. Being forced to grow up with that. To live with that your entire life. To have a familial relationship that is that smothering, that suffocating, that strangling. That controlling, to criticize every single thing that you do or say right down to the way you say it. And remember... He's never letting you go. I would go on a world tour as a rock star, too. Anything to be anywhere he isn't. This is horror movie tier stuff. (now im imagining a horror movie trailer for aa4 focusing on gavins stuff... eep!)
And Kristoph Gavin markets himself as someone who simply doesn't care. He's the coolest defense in the west and he doesn't care for what you may think about it. Except... he does care. It totally consumes him. Your perception, your opinion, is everything to him. He has shitty self esteem, deep down, because he knows Phoenix is better than him. And tries to mask it with narcissism as the two duke it out. Appearances are everything, evidence is everything. What people think is true is the only thing that matters, truth doesn't. And it makes sense that his closest contacts and associates are the targets for his constant narcissistic abuse and gaslighting. Their opinions matter even more than the common crowd - of course, Kristoph hates them. Which makes it even worse for him when the jury decides unanimously that Vera is innocent (and by implication, he is therefore guilty). The jury verdict was kind of like the ultimate confirmation that guess what, the evidence doesn't matter. The common and boorish masses have passed judgement, no matter how "mindless, emotional and irrational" they are, even they can see behind his crappy little facade. Even a blind woman like Lamiroir can see that insecurity; even a common person can understand it just by looking at the facts. That's what absolutely wrecks him... that his “poker face” couldn’t hold a candle to Phoenix’s. And he loses the “hand” again (because of his “hand”... get it??).
The identity that he needs to maintain is part of how he sees himself in his mind. As Phoenix's protector, not as his stalker. As Klavier's benevolent big brother, not as his abuser. As Apollo's teacher and mentor, not as someone guiding him into ruin. He lives in a false reality.
Try to bring this up in any way, shape, or form and he will write it off. You're just imagining things...
Because at some level, Mr. Black Psyche Locks himself doesn't even realize. (I feel like that might just be basically canonical fact, based on Pearl’s explanation of how black psyche locks are supposed to work.) That’s pretty freaking terrifying.
At the end of the day this is a big part of the reason I think his character is just so interesting. In a very messed up way, Kristoph is one degree away from being such a good person. He could've been obsessively protective of Klavier - the way a big brother is supposed to be - instead of abusive, could've actually been very caring of Phoenix instead of manipulative. Terrible people can have good traits, just as good people can have awful traits. His attention to detail and understanding of psychology (like getting Vera those gifts she would like so much) could've been used for genuine good. He could've been someone who cares deeply about other people because he does care deeply about other people. But only in terms of their relation to himself, what do they think of him, how are they useful to him.
Maybe this is why I kind of like his character. Intelligent, semi-neurotic protective characters are just my ish. But, no, he has to have a narcissistic bent that skews everything into complete abuse. That’s what makes him awful... that he’s devoid of a moral compass or true compassion for other human beings.
So in closing, fuck off, Kristoph Gavin.
Postscript, he's also such a good foil for Phoenix for this reason. Kristoph does everything for himself. Phoenix does everything for Trucy, because he's a dad and he understands the weight of what it means to really care for someone. Kristoph couldn’t understand motives like that. And Phoenix can't help it if he's an order of magnitude smarter and more mature than Kristoph is. He was just born like that. Classy as fuck. You know what, Kristoph Gavin is like the dollar store version of Phoenix Wright as an attorney. Has many of the same functions but actually doesn't have a leg to stand on and will fail you when you need it. And is revealed to just be a cheap knockoff of the real thing.
#kristoph gavin#aa4#apollo justice ace attorney#im just thinkin thoughts here#dont know why im in such a creepy mood right now#maybe halloween has something to do with it#srsly i need to do some analysis on some other characters lol#and ignore this rat man#btw im totally up to analyze specific characters and interactions#lmk#maybe nahyuta?#or phoenix and trucy#or phoenix and apollo...aaa
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Ladies and Gentlemen, We’re Floating In Space Chapter 1 (Burton-schumacherverse riddlebird, the Truman Show AU, Ace!Ed)
Chapter 2
Warnings: unreality, manipulation, gaslighting, struggles with sexuality, some internalized homophobia/acephobia, cannibalism mention
“Though his environment may be controlled there is nothing fake about Edward.” Max said into the camera “No cue cards, no scripts. It isn’t always Shakespeare but it’s genuine..it’s a life. I created The True Man Show because people don’t need actors with phony emotions reading off a page, they need something real and Edward Nygma is 100% real.”
Ed stared into his bathroom mirror as he continued with his daydreaming “We’re not gonna make it..” he said shakily before switching to another voice “Don’t you say that! There may be a blizzard and killer penguins outside but we’re gonna get out of here and get back to civilization.”
“You have to promise me that if I die out there you’ll eat me before the penguins do.”
“Ew, gross.”
“It’s not gross, it’s survival! Eat me, that’s an order!”
“Fine, but I’ll only eat your love handles.”
“I have love handles??”
“Yeah, small ones-“
“Ed, you’re gonna be late!” Selina called.
He huffed “I know!” He sighed “Guess these guys are gonna have to cannibalize eachother later.”
“Good morning, Ed.” Ed stopped as he heard the greeting from across the street “Good morning,” he waved “Oh, and in case I don’t see ya, good afternoon, good evening, and goodnight.” He said, quite charmingly, as he continued to his car. Before he could get in he was greeted by another neighbour and his dog who was jumping up at Ed. “Hi, buddy.” Ed came down to the dog’s level, taking a worn tennis ball out of his pocket and letting the dog take it “You lost this over my fence last night, huh?” He pet the dog before it ran off to catch up with it’s master. Ed opened the door to his car only to be startled by a crash behind him. Something had fallen and broken but from where? He looked up at the empty sky as he walked over, to inspect the object that looked like some sort of light “Weird.”
“This just in,” the radio in Ed’s car announced “A satellite positioned over Gotham apparently began shedding parts this morning.”
“So that’s what it was...” Ed hummed.
“Luckily no one was hurt. Anyways, is anyone out there traveling by boat or plane anytime soon?”
“Nope!” Ed frankly shivered at the thought.
“Well, that’s nice. Moving on from the horrifying perils of traveling-“ Ed wasn’t paying attention anymore as the voice droned on for a bit and then the station started playing classical music.
Before going into work Ed stopped at a little kiosk in the square for something specific. He grabbed a newspaper and then, with a little too much nervousness, reached for a fashion magazine “For the wife.” he shrugged.
Ed, feeling very bored at his desk, sneakily reached for the fashion magazine. He flipped through it, stopping when he found a picture of a woman with the same shade of hair as him. He kept flipping until he landed on another page with a green dress. He coughed obnoxiously to cover the sound of him ripping out the pictures and he stuffed the pieces that interested him in his pocket.
Ed was very excited the get out of work, as always, he’d practically sprinted to his car. He’d speedily driven to the place he went to nearly everyday after work, the aquarium. As he walked through the building he shielded his eyes from one of the exhibits when he passed, it had a sunken ship in it as decor which Ed couldn’t stand to look at. He sighed as he finally got to where wanted to be, the penguin exhibit. He sat on a bench in front of the penguins then took out a sketch book and pencil from his briefcase and he waited.
Max brought a walkie talkie up to his mouth “Let him watch the penguins for a bit and then send Oswald out.” He instructed. “Why do you keep that thing on the show, he was only supposed to be a one time sight gag for the aquarium date episode.” Max’s son, Chip, asked coming up behind him to watch the cameras too. “I know.” Max muttered “But Ed actually likes Oswald. He doesn’t get along with a lot of people that way. Viewers were getting bored of Harvey being Ed’s only friend anyways, we were going to hire another friend, remember?” Max smirked “Plus this whole arc of Ed being kind to the fat freak has been good for us. Guilts viewers into being better people, inspires little ones to look past differences, ratings go up.”
Ed pretended to have been drawing as he watched Oswald waddle out of a side door, bucket in hand, to feed the penguins. Ed acted like he only just noticed Oswald and he waved. Oswald waved back “Howdy, Ed. You’re here to draw the penguins again?”
Ed flushed “Yes- yeah. I am.” He fumbled fumbled, looking down at the half finished portrait of Oswald in his lap.
“Well, I hope you manage to find some of their good angles while they’re eating.” Oswald chuckled.
“They’re all good angles..” Ed whispered, carefully adding wrinkles to the corner of one of Oswald’s eyes.
Ed felt bummed to be getting home though he wouldn’t admit it. He wanted to pull away when Selina came over to kiss him on the cheek “How was work?”
He grumbled an answer as he set his stuff down.
“What’s wrong?” Selina asked.
“I want to go to Antarctica.”
“Ed, not this again. I thought we were going to try for a baby.”
“I’m not ready for that yet...”
“You’ve been saying that since our wedding night..”
“I want to go to Antarctica to see the penguins.” Ed said, changing the subject.
Selina rolled her eyes “There’s penguins in Gotham.”
“But I’ve memorized those!” Ed was exasperated.
Selina came over to him, hugging him and running her hand down his chest “Ed, please, let’s just go to bed.” She purred.
“You never listen to me..” Ed sighed, gently pushing Selina and her wandering hands away.
Ed felt shitty as he sat on the beach looking out at the ocean. His mind flashed back to the day his father died, that day in the boat together where only Ed survived. He wished he hadn’t asked his dad if they could stay for a little longer. He was startled from his thoughts as rain started pouring down on him. When he got up to leave after a few steps the rain was no longer over him. He looked back to find that it was in one single column then slowly it moved back over him. He ran a bit to the left and the rain followed him. After a few more seconds it started to rain normally. Ed was weirded out but too soaked to think too much about anything but getting someplace where he could dry off.
Ed had retreated to his lab in the basement instead of to bed with Selina. He opened a large chest down there and he took out the scraps of paper he’d torn from the magazine. In the top of the chest was a cutout of the statue of David with other cutouts on it of hair the same colour as Ed’s but styled and a green dress. He cutout the new hair and dress and replaced the old ones, putting those scraps into a collage forming around the statue from how many times Ed switched around the mock-up of himself. He stared at it for a moment before looking at the other side of the chest lid. It was covered in drawings of Oswald, he stuck the new one there. He was about to close the chest when he noticed something in it, two toys almost cuddled together in the bottom. It was a toy of a scarecrow and the mad hatter from Lewis Caroll’s work. “Oh boys, don’t you know that’s sinful?” Ed asked, picking the toys up “Alright, I’ll let it slide but remember you’re not really in love unless you want to take eachother’s clothes off.” He said a bit spitefully, wrapping the toys’ arms around eachother further and placing them back in the chest before closing it. He really didn’t want to sleep with Selina that night so he just slept on the bed down there, dreaming about Oswald and penguins and Antarctica.
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So, just as my mental health check in, and for those who don’t follow me everywhere, here’s what’s been going on with my sister.
Short version: Shit exploded, I spent a lot of my time since yesterday off and on in tears.
Warning: This is a rambling incoherent mess trying to condense back and forth between a dozen people over a 100 replies. I should probably delete it, but eh.
Half a week ago or so, I posted one of those, “You can’t say you love someone and then cast a vote for someone who will hurt them” I’m sure we’ve all seen that sort of thing floating around.
(I might munge up some of the details, the order of stuff mostly, but the gist is there, and I’m not quoting verbatim)
A few days later, my sister replied, “That’s right, and that’s why I’m voting for Trump”
Me and a bunch of others chimed in with well, that’s pretty shitty, he’s hurting people, and telling people you’re voting for him kinda makes you look bad.
Her sole reply after some early replies was just TRUMP 2020!
There was a few of those, and I explained to her that, when people are trying to explain to you why this president is harming people, to shout back TRUMP 2020! is a really shit thing to do, a virtual slap in the face.
She said he’s not hurting anyone, he’s just trying to help everyone, prove how he’s hurting people. So links were provided, stories, much evidence.
I’m sure you can imagine how that went. She denied the stories, said they don’t count for any number of reasons...pretty typical “Prove it to me so I can ignore actual evidence because it goes against my narrative”
One or two people genuinely put forth a well written, well thought out plea for understanding, trying to see how they could help her understand. That went pretty much nowhere, because she won’t hear any counter evidence.
She kept trying to change the subject to how she “tries to help me but I won’t accept it” or something, and THAT is a level of bullshit which needs it’s own separate post.
I told her to stop being a shitty manipulative person, yanked the topic back on track, to this is about what Trump is doing to marginalised groups, and how her repeatedly responding “Trump 2020!” is a tacit support of his violence and hate.
And I even slid back to, if she WANTS to make this about me never asking for help, we can go there, because that is EXACTLY what I’ve been doing, her own sibling, asking people to not vote for this person who, through his very clear statements to end the funding for social security (I am disabled and literally it is my only source of income), so here I am, asking for help, by not voting for him, and all she does is throw “WOOO FOUR MORE YEARS! SUCK IT UP SNOWFLAKE!!” so it sure does seem like she doesn’t give one single shit about her own family.
Lots more back and forth, lots of support from pretty much everyone, sister asked me, more or less, why do I care, he hasn’t done anything to me aaaadnd THERE it is, isn’t it?
That whole attitude of “It’s not harming me absolutely directly, so why should I care if he’s hurting others?” I tried explaining that to her, and AGAIN that it is, for me, a “yet”. He has outright stated, well you know by now.
She finally reaches her limit, says we hate Trump, we’re not going to change our minds, and of COURSE we’re not going to suddenly being okay with him attacking and hurting people, YOUR OWN SIBLING INCLUDED, nor should we have to forgive the person abusing us.
To which she replied, and I quote;
“TRUMP 2020 PEACE OUT LOSER“
And I have been crying off and on ever since.
Because after all that, after all this explaining from her own brother, how yelling Trump 2020 at me and then adding in the loser part just...
It hurts.
It hurts SO FUCKING MUCH to know you matter so little to your own family. That they will spit in your digital face after days of gaslighting, and basically say “I hear your in pain, suck it pup, I hope you suffer.”
And that’s where I’m at right now! Yay!
To circumvent any incoming questions of why I am putting myself through this still; stubborn, familial bonds, part of it is our parents would want me to But mostly stubbornness, and I WAS going to ride things out to the election, continue to plead my case, but I might have to cut that short.
One of the biggest things I’ve been dreading, aside from the obvious four more years of horror, is if Trump wins, how she would be all gleeful and mocking and “SUCK IT UP LOSERS!” and...she kinda jumped the script by two weeks.
Another part of the reasoning I still keep it open, is because I want her to see everything that happens to me, see the consequences of her actions, and she can’t do that if I block her.
I am just...crushed. I...yeah I’m gonna wrap this up.
And this is all even before she knows I’m transgender, and she’s shown plenty of transphobic traits before, so yeah.
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Hello!!! Happy 3 day new year!! I just saw your previous reply on shadow work and just wanted to ask you a question. What behaviour would you call someone who has hurt you in the past but tells you to "get over it" and to "not hold any more negative energy" anymore about that hurt? Would you say that it's gaslighting to dictate how long a person can be hurt over something/an action that you do? Thank you!!
I think it really depends on the full context of the situation and how holding onto that hurt affects you and a relationship that you may or may not want to keep. If a person has a pattern of behaviour that is injurious to you, wherein they are consistently disrespecting boundaries that have been communicated or are being inconsiderate after conversations about how their behaviour is hurtful, then ‘forgive and forget’ is a poor approach and them treating your hurts as ‘negative energy’ is skewing your relationship in an unhealthy direction that puts your needs below theirs. However, if a person isn’t aware they hurt you, or if the hurt was a single time event that they have apologized for and tried to move past, then the situation becomes a little more complicated.
Mindfulness exercises will teach you that holding onto hurts, especially for years, and using them as a reflexive defence or punishment in a relationship in which you feel insecure is bad for YOU. For instance, if you were friends with someone who stole your boyfriend in high school, bringing that up whenever you fight or feel insecure is hurtful behaviour on your part that fails to acknowledge any of the work that person has put in to make up for their mistakes and also avoids the real issue (whatever it is you may be fighting about currently). This kind of behaviour is common in families - when you live with people, especially since childhood, they cannot avoid hurting you at some point, but bringing it up constantly in a competition of who-hurt-who-the-most only makes each new conflict worse. Everyone makes mistakes, and while some hurts are difficult to move past, when leaning on that hurt only hurts you and the other party more...what’s the point?
Nobody can dictate when and how they get over something fully, but we all dictate when we start that journey and how much work we put into it for ourselves and others. We also dictate how we communicate those hurts and the limit to which we will tolerate exposing ourselves to them.
In that vein, I really think ‘gaslighting’ has become a pop psych term online that people use to highlight the current divide between ‘toxic’ and ‘good’ people. Genuine gaslighting behaviour has intent behind it, is an established pattern of behaviour, and is designed to make a person question their own perception and memories of an event. Telling someone to get over something isn’t gaslighting, but telling them that everyone else involved has moved past it, that it wasn’t that bad, that it happened longer ago than it did, that you weren’t that hurt at the time CONSISTENTLY is, especially when the person tries to highlight the irrationality of your behaviour to yourself and brings in other people. Gaslighting is manipulative behaviour and needs to be squashed quickly when it arises if this is still someone you want in your life, which they might be.
Anyway, I don’t believe in removing negativity from your life either by cutting people off or by simply getting over things (re: no negative energy :))))) ). Life isn’t black and white, people are stupid, and it’s hard to be human. Anger, sadness, grief, hurt - they’re all important emotions and I think their expression allows us all to become better people and to feel more connected at the root of it all. It’s best to express those things and struggle your way through communication at least once before deciding if you want to work with somebody to patch things up or if you want to remove them entirely. Fight with them! Argue! Cry! Punch a hole in their wall! Be vulnerable enough to expose why you can’t get over something! Maybe you’ll iron things out, or find out enough about how they feel that you can work towards forgiving them.
Or, if you feel they’ve changed since they hurt you (in a good way or a bad way) and you’re tired of it all, tired of yourself, tired of not being able to discuss it with them because maybe you two aren’t the kind of people who can do that, sit with the feeling for awhile and change your perspective of their relationship with you. You can keep people in your life without trusting them. You can learn to love them again from a different angle, knowing that the scar they left will always be there. You have choices when you stop trying to think of everything as right and wrong or healthy and unhealthy. People have friends for different things, and some people aren’t the friends that you share all your thoughts with, and some people ARE but they’ll never agree with you and that’s ok. There are friends who cut you off at the knees because you’re destroying your own life, there are friends who help you rebuild, there are friends who are only friends when the world is falling apart - they’re not all the same, and not all of them can be trusted with all your secrets, and some of them can become damaging when you place them in a different context, but none of them are inherently right for you or wrong for you.
To finalize this whole thing without knowing any of the context in which you’re asking, I’m definitely hypocritical about a lot of this and it isn’t easy. That said, I’ve kept a lot of people in my life for over a decade, and I’ll tell you with complete honesty that plenty of that decade hasn’t been good for us. Most of my closest friends were, at some point, people who hated me, and some were bullies directly involved in one of the worst periods of my life. We’ve been close, then grown apart, then close again until we learned each other’s limits and even then new limits came up through mental health crises and mutual ignorance. I’ve grown apart more permanently from some of my best friends when they’ve changed, not necessarily into worse people, but into people incompatible with me, too. So yeah, thinking on shadow work and the like, everybody has something terrible inside of them and if you stick around you’ll see it. Sometimes it can be worked past, where the shitty things in them match up with the shitty things in you, and you’ve hurt each other enough times that it all kindof evens out. Sometimes it can’t be. But you’ve got to look into yourself, consider what you can tolerate and if you want them around, and then either try or walk away - and even then it doesn’t have to be forever.
Hopefully that helps?
#reply#vague answer is vague#and long#but yeah it's just#i've been a shitty person enough times#that i always think of Hanlon's Razor#never attribute to malice what can be explained by stupidity
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Yep he's doing classic manipulation with his words. "Those of you who have subscribed. Thank you. For the rest of you who didn't and are just hovering over the button and scoffing/rolling your eyes at this video. Do it, right now." He's not giving people a choice. He's literally forcing us to subscribe. I wonder where the genuine jse is anymore.. I don't think there's a trace of him left. And this makes me believe less and less in him even more. I hate the fact that he's resorted to this. (1/?)
With that comment, he's separating people into two groups: people who have subscribed and who he's grateful to because they are loyal followers or people who aren't subscribed who he seems to view as cowards and enemies. And this is not okay. Another quote he said was "Because you're afraid. You're scared." He's manipulating people's emotions by saying that. And baiting them into subscribing. If this really was a joke, stannies, he wouldn't be using basic manipulator language. (2/?)
He'd be goofing around and actually being like: look this is a joke! It's up to you if you want to follow my content or not." But instead he's using manipulation because as you said, his channel is slowly dying. Especially after everything that's happened. "Don't laugh you big stinky non subscriber." This is probably a joke but how (please excuse my vulgar language) shitty has he gotten to start calling groups "names" like that. He's labelling the groups, as I mentioned earlier. (3/?)
To him, subscribers are good, loyal people, non-subscribers are cowards, bad and "stinky". I'm sorry I just keep ranting but oh god.. this really infuriates me. Even if this was meant to be a joke, it's heavily lined with manipulation tactics - of people's emotions, putting them in groups so they do what he wants and labeling them bad things so that they are forced to subscribe just so they are in the "good light" again. It sucks so much. This is not okay. (4/4)
--
The JSE we knew is gone.
But I’ve also known for a long time there’s a lot of stannies who seem to think that this type of abuse, this gaslighting and manipulation is a privilege.
That we should be HONORED to be abused by our idol instead of see the signs, recognize the red flag and criticize someone for being abusive.
UNSUB FROM JSE.
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