#and favorite coming of age story | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

cptrs · 2 years

Photo

#the witch #robert eggers #filmedit #thewitchedit #anya taylor joy #ralph ineson #kate dickie #harvey scrimshaw #ellie grainger #lucas dawson #you should know by now that this is my favorite horror film #and favorite coming of age story #a story that explore the suppression of female power and sexuality in a strict religious environment #do i see myself in thomasin?#unfortunately

53 notes · View notes

pokemonruby · 6 months

Text

octopath being snubbed for best score is especially surreal like even if it isn't one of those big-time mainline game series that are typically showcased at the awards you absolutely cannot deny the unparalleled genius of yasunori nishiki's compositions. especially with the smooth transitions between the day and night osts in the second game and the individual character themes, the soundtrack perfectly encapsulates the scenic, immersive, and stunning atmospheres the game's world has to offer, as well as the intense emotional beats during each of the travelers' stories, and not to mention the godly boss themes, and it absolutely never fails to deliver. octopath is not just a game but a bona fide work of art in genuinely every aspect and it pains me to see it being overlooked like this. team asano features some of the most gifted developers in the industry and god forbid they deserve more recognition.

#kind of a spoiler but it's been some time so i really need to mention how in the final chapters of every storyline #the character's theme is interplayed with the boss of their respective final chapters and god.#when i first reached the end of temenos' story it absolutely blew me away. the tension. the emotional weight. i can't articulate it enough.#i could go on for ages like i know i'm the pokemon guy but if you asked me what my favorite game was #octopath 2. my love for the unadulterated passion that was put into this majesty of an experience can hardly be described with words.#it's a masterpiece. truly unforgettable and at this point in time nothing else comes close to it.#and the first game i've ever actually 100%-ed. which is a testament since i have adhd LMAO #riley rambles #anyways play octopath 2 :)

65 notes · View notes

notdexterousatall · 2 months

Text

Catatonic!Jason fic where he ends up back with the Bats before Talia grabs him. Due to situations, he gets left alone with the Joker for a bit before the rest of the Bats show up to rescue him. Jason's first lucid act of his second life is to strangle Joker to death. Bruce and family come back to find Jason wringing the life out of Joker's lifeless corpse, viciously.

#jason todd #idk i think that wakes jason up from the catatonia for good #and he's emphatically NOT SORRY #bruce can disown him right after that too give him his new story conflict #batsalt #lol can't help it #jason's new family conflict is bruce getting rid of him for good #(like he thought he was going to do during the garzonas affair)#and making it clear jason's been replaced as favorite child by cass #who is all aboard team no kill and makes it clear she doesn't like jason because he's really loud about being NOT SORRY #you know how it is when you come back from the dead age 15 #kill your murderer #and dad ships you off to boarding school so he can play house with his new kids #genuinely i think this set up gives jay more issues than canon lol #(he runs away from boarding school to work with a new superhero mentor)#kinda nice to put him a position where a good portion of the super community would hear his story... and think he's pretty justified

16 notes · View notes

kakusu-shipping · 8 days

Text

Sometimes I play a Pokemon Game and don't want to make a new S/I for it but do want to interact with it's story and characters.

So here are some Wandering Protagonists I aged up and moved across Regions for funsies.

#Emile's Arts #Pokemon Self Insert #I still haven't fully decided what I'm doing for BW2 #Honestly the protags for BW2 are great on their own so I'm almost okay just leaving it to Rosa maybe #Maybe make her a biiit more of an OC and give my draft S/I story to her #That'd probably work better #I did have fun aging up my Sun/Moon Protag he's one of my favorites design wise #Silly little guy <3 #More Pokemon S/Is to come I'm working on some things #I wanna redraw my Masters Rocketsona and Sword/Shield S/Is of course #And I'm also designing my Monster Mind S/I for the first time #Having fun arting #EVENTUALLY I'd like to color these and add info #Like what F/Os they correlate to and what not #But that's an after I'm done character designing the rest kind of thing #God I love sketching and designing <3 #Anyway ask about them if you want #I'd appreciate it!

7 notes · View notes

looseinthecatroom · 9 months

Text

Oh no.

New blorbo acquired lads

#i was a teenage exocolonist #iwatxc #dys exocolonist #would have posted this two days ago but iwatxc has literally been using 85% of the #processing power in my brain that isn't going to work and adulting tbqh #I am rotating the whole cast in my head #but im ngl. Dys did THE blorbo thing and slowly snuck up to edge everyone out and become THE favorite during my first playthrough #(while my poor sapphic Sol was off on an absolute rollercoaster ride with Nem lol)#DID make me realize that I genuinely NEED to write my own queer coming of age story #that reflects my own adolescence in the aughts and complicated relationship to emo/goth subculture at some point down the line #Thanks Dys and Sym. Lol

43 notes · View notes

fadedflora · 1 month

Text

i have not listened to hamilton in like a week why is he STILL HERE

read the tags if you want to see me talk about musicals for a little TOO long

#this is no hate to you mr leslie odom jr #but i have most certainly listened to other musicians/bands more #anyways i'd say the rest is accurate #my bff and i have been doing a musical binge #started with wicked -> ride the cyclone -> shrek -> legally blonde -> falsettos #i cried twice at falsettos btw it's so fucked up (i loved it sm)#i've listened to wicked before but haven't actually *seen* it so that was nice #i've also heard a couple songs from ride the cyclone & falsettos b4 so i already knew they'd be good #and i've seen shrek the musical like 3 times bc i unironically love it #overall opinions: ride the cyclone might have my favorite cast of characters and i think falsettos might be my favorite musical now #fav songs (for funsies):#ride the cyclone: noel's lament / the ballad of jane doe / jawbreaker / space age bachelor man (insane song btw)#wicked: no good deed / popular #shrek: i know it's today / don't let me go / i think i got you beat / this is our story / what's up duloc?#falsettos: this had better come to a stop / i'm breaking down / four jews in a room bitching / a tight-knit family/love is blind #falsettos cont.: everyone hates his parents / falsettoland/about time #legally blonde: blood in the water / positive / ireland / chip on my shoulder / so much better / whipped into shape / take it like a man #legally blonde cont.: bend and snap / there! right there! / legally blonde / legally blonde - remix / find my way/finale #SORRY I OPENED A PANDORA'S BOX WHEN I STARTED TALKING ABOUT MUSICALS #i really should've posted this on my other acc oh well #okay i'm gonna shut up now im so sorry LMAO #falsettos #legally blonde musical #legally blonde the musical #shrek the musical #shrek musical #wicked #wicked musical #ride the cyclone

10 notes · View notes

itspileofgoodthings · 6 months

Text

I love Midnights and also she’s struggling so so much and I can hear the pain so clearly.

#I want ts11 #So this can become part of the story and make more sense to me #she is adrift. she’s cut off from her subject. she’s struggling to see through the mists and the lavender haze #and the flashes of clarity are so brilliant and probably among her best #but she’s not grounded in it #and there is a part of me that just hates it #It’s like …. the sickness before it comes #just brewing and lurking and simmering #doesn’t come out into the light until hits different and you’re losing me (my favorite songs)#If Taylor were a different artist I’d say she wrote midnights too soon #before she was ready to face writing about her life again after folklore/evermore #but because it’s Taylor we know there are more albums coming and this will be an important piece of the story #but the lost-ness of it all is just …. SO THERE #and I kind of can’t #I mean I CAN and it’s brilliant #but it’s tough for me to want to listen to it #it’s also an album shrouded in pain for me personally #as in the time it came out was really hard #I feel like it will settle with time but yeah #wrote this ages ago hitting post now

14 notes · View notes

sortanonymous · 2 months

Text

I've watched and adored Encanto, Wolfwalkers, Across the Spider-Verse, Puss in Boots: The Last Wish, and Guillermo del Toro's Pinocchio. All absolutely incredible animated films that I'm sure will be held up as classics even 20 years from now.

With that said, Nimona is frankly a good step above all of them and my choice for animated film of the decade so far (at least for what I've heard of). An absolutely stellar film on every level. Do yourself a favor and watch it all on YouTube these next few days!

youtube

Does it stand a chance at the Oscars? Absolutely not, especially since even the Annies were dominated by Spider-Man. But it would absolutely deserve to. (And again, I adore Spider-Verse and still think it's 100% worthy of the Oscar on its own. It's basically the reverse of the Puss in Boots vs. Pinocchio situation last year. They're both masterpieces, only this time the slightly better masterpiece is almost certainly gonna get left in the cold.)

#nimona #nimona movie #oscars 2024 #i'm not exactly gonna pretend nothing good came out of disney last year #maybe elemental and especially guardians 3 are good #but holy crap the fact that this film they left to rot with blue sky came back to mop the floor with them?#that truly is the ultimate nail in the coffin!#that and you know the draconian capitalist stuff but that's a different story #rip blue sky #now i can no longer call ice age: the meltdown my favorite blue sky movie that i've seen #sorry 4-year-old (and honestly current) me :(#you know this decade's been a rough one for animation in so many ways even in regards to the movies #(though they may be the least of the problems now)#but man has this decade already given us some classics from both the big and small studios #i'm sorry i haven't said much on the movie but i don't even know what to say because it's so amazing #go watch it right now #now just hoping it comes to blu-ray because i have all five of those other movies on blu-ray #and the only one not in 4k being wolfwalkers simply because it doesn't have a 4k (tho at least also having two more movies)#(one of said movies (song of the sea) actually being better than wolfwalkers but that's a different story; cartoon saloon rocks)#Youtube

7 notes · View notes

sleepyhecd · 9 months

Text

there should be a support group for girls who were a little let down by barbie (2023)

#idk i was expecting a sort of coming of age story about womanhood and depression and mother/daughter relationships #i mean lady bird is one of my favorite movies and deals with the very same subject matter so i had high hopes #instead that side of the movie just felt so... sidelined... and hardly fleshed out at all #barbie lovers pls do not come for me i wanted to love it so badly

2 notes · View notes

athenaholmesartistsguild · 10 months

Text

Just finished watching Across the Spider-verse and if y'all haven't seen it yet, go watch it now!!!!

Without a shred of exaggeration, I feel like it's one of the greatest things I've ever seen. Not just among movies. Among everything my beady little eyes have rested upon.

I might see it again tomorrow-- it was that good.

#I'd go 'why is this the most beautiful movie I've ever watched' and something even MORE beautiful #and even MORE artistically inspiring would happen #I especially loved Spider Punk Spot and Earth 42's art styles #But I'm a pen-and-ink girlie so I love bold lines and hatching and all the harsh blacks so I wasn't surprised that they were my favorite.#And like. The story's so good? It manages to combine the coming of age story inherent to all Spiderman narratives #While also exploring the implications of having so many narratives in the first place.#I won't say much more because I honestly can't do it justice. Just go see it.#But I just love that they had the teenagers be the ones to write the canon-divergent fanfic. That was a good decision.#Across the Spiderverse

6 notes · View notes

devotedlystrangewizard · 1 year

Note

Well now I absolutely have to know what character you were wrong about

the good old days of almost 6 months ago when this was still kind of a joke <333

#honestly i could probably point to several characters in multiple games #i did not spend 2 years with destiny brainrot just to not come out of it with Helmet Disease #i have said things i am not proud of. i have thought things i am even less proud of. but im sick of pretending #decided 'thats a problem for another time' forgot about it and then he showed up again and i.#irreversibly changed by watching mads mikkelsen hannibal.#lost it. a little bit. just a little.#but the real brainrot didnt happen until i was done with catching up on msq and i could finally put the intense zenos fixation to resg #which didnt help because now i am back to being insufferable about old men. anyway #fun fact to find this i searched 'kinda' in the gc #and. um. the message before this one. from a day earlier. was 'why does he kinda look like sexy colonel sanders'. about cid #pov i didnt start taking the story seriously until heavensward #AND its only gotten worse now that brainrot is the only thing dragging me through daily msq roulettes #ALL THAT SAID. shaxx destiny is still my wife and the only character with an iconic helmet ever. goodnight #also ignore the username its matching with someone and it was a joke except they havent been online in ages and i miss them #sick and tired of pretending like he isnt one of my favorite characters #do i still have my post sb reaction. i dont know. im gonna go look for it <3

3 notes · View notes

bargledblocks · 2 years

Text

Every time someone complains about a genre of fic (i.e. superhero au's) I make 5 more just to piss them off.

The reason for this is because their takes always reek of entitlement to people's hobbies and free time and they always demand for something "different" instead of realizing that a story someone isn't actually passionate about would be way more shit than one they like despite it being a genre you personally have grown bored with <3

#the blocks yell #Like I'm sorry but so many of y'all have been blessed with copious amounts of fic that isn't highly saturated by a ship #and I'm sorry but loosing a couple of fics by filtering them out really is not that bad #go into a different popular fandom and find the biggest ship and filter out the most popular ship or all ships and watch how fucking low #the fic count gets. Stop acting so entitled.#And that's not to say shipping is bad! It can be really really fun! But the idea of 'over saturation' in this fandom has become so skewed!#But don't complain becaus You Personally want something different. If you want something different then write it yourself!#And don't try and come at with a 'But I can't write!' do you know how many people Start Out writing fics? This day in age its a fucking lot #So get out there and make the stories you wanna see because until you do? Nobody else is gonna. Nobody else has your exact artistic vision #They can't do it like you.#And if one day you get to the point where you still like the story but don't like how you wrote it? Write it again!#Make it bigger and better! Use the old version as the first draft or even a really comprehensive outline!#And if you Don't like it anymore and don't feel any passiin for it then thats fine! You can let it sit because the thing is?#One day someone is gonna read that story and it'll be their absolute favorite thing in the world!#They might even make their own based off of it. Wouldn't that feel Good? Having someone love something you made so much that they create #something of their own. Despite the flaws you may now see?#Anyway. That was kind of a lot but if you can't tell I have a lot passion for this subject.#But just remember: fic writers make things to have fun. We don't get paid for what we do and yet we share it for free!#You accomplish nothing by whining about somethings success despite not having tried for yourself. Now go write a and have some fun #big rants at buildmart #<- also look i have a tag for these now

4 notes · View notes

capableism · 2 years

Text

Why How to Train Your Dragon’s music score is so good

"The term "fantasy" can mean different things to different people. It can range from knights in shining armor rescuing damsels in distress to children learning magic at a school to heroes gallivanting across space. (Finnegan) Unlike other fantasy films like Harry Potter, How to Train Your Dragon focuses on realism. Harry Potter focuses on world-building and the struggle of good versus evil.

In contrast, How to Train Your Dragon focuses on a family conflict between Hiccup and his father over their view on dragons.

Both fantasy worlds have their own signature elements.

In addition, both are presented in both books and movies.In translating fantasy novels to films, filmmakers must use music, cinematography, and animation tricks to get the audience to feel what Hiccup and Harry feel in their fantasy worlds.

Music is often overlooked when talking about films. However, music is constantly helping audiences follow along with the story emotionally. Each character has their own theme music; in How to Train Your Dragon, Hiccup and Toothless themes are meant to be heard and felt together. The friends' themes complete each other.

Photo by Weston M. from Unsplash

The unified theme is played triumphantly as Hiccup flies with Toothless untethered for the first time. Hiccup and Toothless' themes are played on top of one another as Hiccup releases Toothless from his trap and also in the track called Forbidden Friendship. which plays as Hiccup learns more about Toothless in the woods. The song titled Test drive plays as Hiccup and Toothless solo for the first time. "When flying, they must almost become one. In a do or die exercise that forces both of them to let go and trust each other completely, no cheat cheats, and the music also has to do this" (Phoebe-Kate). The themes can be played in major or minor to induce different emotions. Hiccup and Toothless' themes embody friendship as Toothless' theme is not completed until the test drive.

"As Phoebe-Kate says, Hiccup's theme is played 31 times in the movie. This is a great demonstration of the brilliance of theme writing in movie scores. And we've seen it in so many scores in the past. For decades this is how composers have created themes that make you subconsciously remember parts of movies." (Charles Cornell) Memorable films are well directed and well scored. Those moments of tension in the final battle and the reveal of Hiccup's prosthetic leg are supported by music. That's why they are emotional and memorable.

The co-directors Sanders and DeBlois strived to make the film as "live-action" as possible.

This included having actors record together. This captured real connections and grounded the fantasy film in reality. When Hiccup became an amputee, the directors knew it wasn't realistic for there to be no long-lasting consequences. Their disabilities are not presented simply as challenges. Instead, both adapt and grow closer from their experience. Maturing involves loss and change. It forces people to let go of innocent naivete. Hiccup grapples with being the chief of Berk and letting go of Toothless, and the innocence of forbidden friendship. After his father dies, he has to find his place among his people again. Hiccup's fantasy world has genuine moments of loss and change. This realism allows these animated "children's movies" to resonate with their audiences. Childhood doesn't last forever.

Source List

Charles Cornell. (2022, May 19). How to Train Your Dragon is a MASTERCLASS in theme writing [Video]. YouTube. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=k87EZ5hm_BM

Finnegan, Denise E., "THEMATIC DEVELOPMENT IN JOHN POWELL’S SCORE FOR HOW TO TRAIN YOUR DRAGON (2010)" (2020). Student Research, Creative Activity, and Performance - School of Music. 138. https://digitalcommons.unl.edu/musicstudent/138

Phebe-Kate. (2018, April 15). Analyzing the score of How to Train Your Dragon (part 1) Hiccup and Toothless [Video]. YouTube. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=MMa75wsBZ_g&list=LL&index=5

3 notes · View notes

ciaoteamo · 22 days

Text

Milk and Water (Pt. I)

pairings: doppelgänger!Milkman x fem!Reader

summary: One of the newest residents’ very first doppelgänger comes in, trying to sway you into to letting them in. Will you..?

pt.II

art credit (twt: loafuu_chii)

warning: 18+ content

“…what’s the story behind your um… ears(?)” You ask the doppelgänger before you. It was a clone of one of your favorite neighbors actually, her name was Maria.

A woman around your age that you became really close friends with over the few months of you working here.

“@&! !$?&” The doppelgänger let out a series of sounds.

“right, so give me one second” You press the bright red button next to the window and the steel blinds shut with a blaring alarm sound.

You call D.D.D. and they clean up their mess per usual. You once again, you were just thankful you didn’t have to work on that side of the glass.

You check your wrist watch, and happily sigh at the fact that you only had one more hour left to work.

“ mmm, someone’s eager to go home i see” A familiar voice speaks up.

“oh, Mr. Francis” You give the man a polite grin. He gave you a sly one in return. You knew it wasn’t him off the bat. Francis was usually shy towards you, making you want to tease him into blushing whenever you saw him.

Well, you suppose you could kill two birds with one stone. Flirt with the doppelgänger of your crush, and have some entertainment.

“how are you pretty girl” He asks, sliding an I.D. and sheet through the slot.

You examine the documents and identification and beam a smile up at him.

“the date on the I.D. is a little expired hun” You declare. He lets out a small chuckle and leans a little toward the glass.

“mmm, been busy with the milk business, love. must’ve slipped my mind to renew it” He replied. His eyes were low but he still held his sly grin. You leaned back in your chair, with a bored look on your face.

“you’re not like my Francis” You huff and tilt your head with a disappointed look.

His grin faltered and he stepped closer. His breathing had quickened a bit and he took off his hat. “who knows, i could be better” He suggests.

Now that his confidence had depleted a little, you were growing bored of him. You checked the time again and you had 45 minutes left.

“well i’ve gotta get you moving now. it was nice to see such a handsome face though, so thank you” You beam and reach for the button

“you don’t want to do this, trust me” He states with a warning tone. This wasn’t unusual, getting threats after realizing they’re doppelgängers, but being that this one was this aware… they must be evolving.

“and why would i trust you?” You ask out of curiosity.

“i mean look at me” He smirks, one arm leaned against the top of the window. His irises turned from their chocolate brown and into an empty pure white.

“hm” You nod and press the button.

“(Y/N)!” He roared with what you assume was his fist banging the glass.

You call D.D.D. and wait for them to clean their mess, again.

The steel blind begins to lift and you sit back in your seat, checking your watch again but noticed the new pink lighting that shone in.

You furrow your eyebrows and look up in horror as you see blood streaks on the window in thick, and dripping amounts. You jump out of your chair and put your back against the wall.

About 5 D.D.D. workers were piled up, bloody and battered in the corner of the room, and there the doppelgänger was.

Staring at you.

His eyes were low, his shirt was torn, revealing his pecs and the start of his abdomen. He was panting with his (surprisingly still) neat hair and an almost psychotic expression.

“oh no…” He starts with a laugh, still breathing heavily.

“what did you do..?” You cover your mouth with your hand.

“it’s what you did. you got me all riled up.”

He looks down for a brief moment and you swear you hear a zip. He holds his tie and the end of his tattered shirt in his mouth and looks up at you with knitted eyebrows.

His breath fogging up the window as he asks you. Looking like a poor starving puppy. “will you let me in now…? I need your help…” He slightly groaned.

“…what. the. fuck.”

#milkman #milkman x reader #francis mosses #francis mosses x reader #ciaoteamo #x reader #imagine #smut #fem dom reader #thats not my neighbor #milkman smut #milk the man

4K notes · View notes

inkskinned · 9 months

Text

no, actually, where is the whimsy?

my ex had a best friend named larry who asked me once: what do you think comes after irony?

we were at the bar where larry worked. it was a quiet night, and he'd hopped over to sit with us on the patron side. i swirled the lemon around my limoncello martini.

earnest positivity, i said, while my ex said, art self-destructs.

i stared at my ex. he stared at me.

his argument was the cinemasins argument: look how bad media is becoming! look at the loopholes and the dumb shit!

it was roughly 2011. galaxy print was still in. at the time, i had a favorite shirt that was a wolf howling at the moon. it got ripped in half in the wash and i honestly still mourn it. i dressed like effie stonem, because everyone did. and irony was the name of the thing. men liked MLP "ironically." the internet liked the kind of crass, "anti-mainstream" vibes of things like fuck romance, touch my butt and buy me pizza. we put cats in sunglasses everywhere, which was because we only liked things in irony.

and media had the same vibe in it: anti-hero white men would be "hard to love" and then storm off the scene. nobody was just earnestly trying to save the world: they were jaded, angry, unoriginal. mad you even asked them to try to help.

my ex ends up not being wrong. cinemasins becomes super popular. a lot of people start viewing media with this lens that is the cruelest, most jaded depiction. it's wrong for your character to have unexplained powers, even if the entire movie is about how strange it is she has unexplained powers - that is still considered a "loophole." characters make thoughtless, panicked choices? loophole. characters are actually kind people, despite hardship? loophole. features a woman doing literally anything without assistance? loophole. movies become hyper-aware of scrutiny, and now irony rules the media.

which means you go to a movie, and the character has to turn to the screen and say "beats me!!" or one of the side characters has to have some kind of quip like "are you seriously telling me that you think this is normal?" because nothing can happen in earnest. like a sitcom laugh track, we now anticipate the fourth-wall break: the moment that the media acknowledges it is telling a story. the media has to apologize for itself, or else someone like my ex rolls their eyes.

but here's the thing: i wasn't wrong either.

the difference might be that i am (and always have been) so soft-hearted that any crack in the light of this world will spear me into the ground. and i was the poet in the relationship. (he thought that was the same thing as being naïve and stupid). i was making things daily. i knew how all of us artists are driven by some strange desire to evolve. he notably liked to critique art, not to create it.

so yes, i've made things that are bitter and angry and even ironic. i've made long, sharp poems with all capital letters, and i've made poems about how the silence stretches out like a song. someone wrote once that we will spend our whole lives just circling the place we grew up. i think it's more that we spend our whole lives trying to remake a home. i think it's that as we age, it becomes less exciting to build the castle on the beach - we become aware of erosion, of windforce. we realize what we really want is to come home to our dog, castle or not.

and while art in the foreground is mired in white male violence and irony, and aggression, and not taking anything seriously - i don't think that's true of all art. i think more and more artists are leaning in to the things we love. the world has changed so much. they have taken so many things from us. the only thing we have left is love. at the bottom of the moving box - all we get is the faint sense that we have to appreciate what little we've got. i can't enjoy this stuff ironically anymore: what room do i have for irony? if it makes me happy, that is an amazing thing. there are so few happy places left for me. i want to be happy because of how leaves shiver beside each other like nestling birds. i want to be happy because of the color pink, and how magenta doesn't exist. i have spent so much of this life suffering, i have earned my right to a gentle ending. if nothing matters, i get to assign meaning to the nothing. i get to create meaning. i am an artist first and foremost, which means creation is my thing.

where is the whimsy? wherever i fucking put it. because if this is my last fucking chance to do any good in this world - i want to do it earnestly. i want to write things that make you happy. that make people feel heard and seen. what comes after irony has to be positivity.

it was close to my 21st birthday. in 7 years, i would end up writing a book about this relationship, which is hopefully coming out somewhere around May 2024. i come back to this bar scene in my memories a lot. i keep thinking of how pale my ex was. the look that crossed his face. how i looked back at him. how for a moment, both of us couldn't recognize the other person. like the gulf between us was a suddenly wide and cavernous thing. like we were alien to each other. he never took my opinion seriously, and he always seemed surprised whenever his manic-pixie-dream-girl ever broke free of the plot. like in the whole time we were together, i wasn't human enough.

this knowledge: where he said nothing comes after, my only instinct was what comes after is love.

#spilled ink #writeblr #this is a real story lol #looking back i liked larry as a person SO much more than my ex hollyyyyy shitttt #compulsory heterosexuality will do you DIRTY #edit to correct effies name my apologies to effie and effies family

13K notes · View notes

aromantic-pantyanarchy · 4 months

Text

It's me. I'm the cis, heterosexual, aromantic man. I will never marry, I will never be married, I will grow into middle age and elder age and I will die unmarried. I will be forced to support a household of myself on only my wages alone for the rest of my life. I will be asked about women and marriage and children by my family for the rest of my life (or men, the progressive ones might say). I may not ever come out to them. I feel like I burned my coming out on something stupid. I don't want to explain it. I don't want to run them through the definitions and intricacies. I don't want the acceptance without understanding, placating me with ceased questions and poor explanations to other, drunk adults.

I like my hair to be long, I spent a year with it dyed a golden blonde with dark roots because I like the trashy party girl aesthetic. I want to dye it again with pink tips. I like painting my nails, black and blue are my favorite colors. I like wearing chokers. I also like wearing baggy jeans and ratty hoodies. I like having stubble. I like having chest hair. I like having a square jaw and broad shoulders. I wish I had a flatter stomach and a thinner profile frame. I don't know what this makes me, perhaps this is something no more GNC than Machine Gun Kelly. I think about this a lot, how queer my appearance truly is. I should think about it less. I have thought long and hard about if I could be trans or if I could be non-binary or if I could be genderqueer and the conclusion I ultimately came to is that I most enjoy being a man open to whatever self-expression I want.

I don't date, but I've thought about it. I would like to meet people, and I would like to have sex with them. But I don't want to hurt them. I fear if I explain what I am beforehand it'll scare them away. I fear if I explain after they'll feel manipulated or abused. I don't know how many people in the dating scene want what I want. I fear my own lack of experience will make me a bad lay, an embarrassing story to tell to confidants in hindsight. I fear my own virginity, a boundary to those I wish to be like. All of these fears are baseless, as I've not been able to even begin a single relationship in my life. Despite this I still heavily identify with terms like "slut" and "manwhore" and "thot" because my interests lay so deeply within casual sex, sex without great intimacy or emotion. This may be some form of stolen valor. I hope the true sluts are not too mad at me.

I made this blog several years ago because a mutual of mine reblogged memes making fun of aro and ace people, making fun of the concept of aphobia, and in addition well known aphobes. I didn't feel comfortable talking about aro stuff on my main blog, for as little as I talk about it. Living through the ace discourse of the 2016 era has largely caused me to cringe in embarrassment any time I am forced to discuss my orientation with people who aren't aro or ace themselves. I no longer follow this person. I unfollowed many people I was mutuals with from that time, most of them because they posted too often about how much they hated men and I didn't want to see that, some because our interests simply drifted too far apart, only one for explicit aphobia reasons. (Also one because they became a "both sides are bad, any vote is wasted" libertarian, but that's unrelated.)

I guess at this point I don't care deeply about what strangers on the internet think of me. If a trusted friend told me that they don't think I'm truly queer that may hurt. But I am going to continue to use the word for myself. I take up no resources. I go to events that are open to me. If an event was not open to me, I think I'd not want to go anyways. I am not a hypothetical, I am not a strawman, I am a person with lived experiences both within and exterior to the queer community. If you hate me, I will permit you to continue to do so. But ultimately, I am who I am, I cannot change these facts, and I would not choose to do so even if I could.

#aromantic #aro #aro positivity #reference to aphobia

5K notes · View notes