#and during the general traffic hours i'm at the end of my day and very poo brained | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

boop-le-snoot · 3 years

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@buckyownsmylife hey babe! Remember that one time you threw that cool challenge? Here's my entry. Prepare to get absolutely ruined because daddy!Bruce is exactly that sort of man.

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emotional support nerd

Your best friend's dad, Dr. Bruce Banner, is hotter than you thought he would be. 6k words, NSFW. Kind of Alt!Reader - she refers to herself as 'goth' in one instance. Tony Stark makes an appearance because God forbid I write a fanfic without him in it.

This is filthy pron, ft. age difference (reader is college aged) daddy kink, throat fucking, dirty talk, praise kink, cream pie, possessiveness, belly bulge and ending with a hint at a threesome. I really crammed all I could from Eyre's wheel in here, didn't I. Oh well.

"How much longer, dad?" Lyra's annoyed voice struck a chord within me. I tried to hide my snickering - unsuccessfully might I add - causing my best friend to shoot me a hurt look, equally fed up with me as she was fed up with her forgetful adopted father. "You know what, we'll take the subway."

Lyra's father's voice, both agitated and apologetic, reached my ears in bitten-off phrases as the traffic noises around us grew in volume, NYC rush hour rapidly approaching its peak.

With a sound huff, Lyra removed the phone from her ear, staring me down with the most amount of petulance I've ever seen on her usually reserved, placid face. "It's twenty more minutes. Apparently he's driving Tony's car," she offered in the way of explanation, like it actually did anything to better the cold, wet situation we found ourselves in. "Please, and I can't stress this enough, please don't be weird."

I felt a flood of amusement at Lyra's pleading tone. "Darling, if you wanted a normal friend, you should have looked elsewhere," I gestured to my outfit. I looked like a goth boy's wet dream: chunky platformed boots, fishnets, heavy eyeliner. Of course, all in black.

"You know what I mean," she whined, waving off my pointing hand and fixing me with a hard stare. "The least my dad needs is someone that is terrified of him just because sometimes he turns into a big green monkey. It's not as exciting as internet thinks, anyway," the last part of the sentence was mumbled but I heard it nonetheless as Lyra stared out into the traffic, clever eyes looking for a particular car model.

What Lyra didn't know was that I was not at all considering to be terrified by the man who dosed himself with radiation and developed an advanced version of split personality disorder. I could be intimidated by him, sure, because he was incredibly intelligent, a world class scientist with more PhDs than I had zeroes in my bank account, but even despite his green problem, Dr. Bruce Banner was about as far away from 'scary' as a man could be.

The few scarce pictures of him on the internet showed a short, stocky man with kind eyes and salt-and-pepper curls, always dressed in un-ironed, crumpled button-ups with dorky patterns. Looking at him, I mused that there was a high chance he spoke with a stutter and that fact amused me to no end. Jekyll and Hyde, alright.

Lyra was much the same way. Shy and reclusive, with curly brown hair and doe eyes, she spent a good chunk of her first semester in college being avoided by everybody because of her last name; I, on the other hand, avoided everyone out of habit, I'd never been a social butterfly, but the way people subtly made sure to exclude Lyra from all the activities filled me with quiet, seething rage, and I stepped over my general distaste of people and removed my bag from the seat next to me so Lyra could at least study in relative peace.

Yeah, yeah, you've heard it all, I'm sure. Weird goth chick adopts a socially awkward, shunned nerd and they become best friends forever. I had to admit that under the shy exterior, Lyra was smart, witty and even funny sometimes. She was willing to entertain my crude jokes without moaning, at least, and I was perfectly okay with listening to her rant about science every now and then.

Rain banged on the slanted roof of the café we were hiding in, the autumn wind howled, making both of us shiver at the prospect of having to go outside, even if it was for a short moment to run to Lyra's dad's car. The day had started out warm and sunny, but much like a badly calculated chemical formula, it all went downhill a split second after we had set out to leave campus.

"There he is," the grouch in Lyra's expression had me once again unsuccessfully attempting to conceal my snorting.

Nonetheless, I followed her out into the rain, struggling to keep up with the brisk running in my platformed shoes, unceremoniously crawling into the car behind her without sparing a glance at the driver in my eagerness to get out of the freezing downpour.

"Hi, dad," Lyra's tired voice spoke up at the same time as I angrily shook out my hair.

"I've just about McFuckin' had it with New York," I was afraid the dye in my hair would bleed out into my clothes, or even worse, the nice, cream-colored car seats.

"Hello, ladies," the voice that greeted us was low, gravelly and apologetic to boot.

My eyes shot up, meeting an expression full of surprise and amusement. I stared at the shockingly handsome face of Dr. Bruce Banner like a deer in the headlights.

The fine mimic wrinkles had stretched into a resemblance of a smile, soft, plush lips revealing a set of straight, white teeth. The five o'clock shadow framed his jaw, giving it a sharp, defined edge, his clever brown eyes slid down my form, faltering on the pentagram on my belt and my fishnet-covered legs, settling on my chunky boots before hastily snapping back up to my face.

"Dad, this is..." Lyra's voice was full of suspicious bewilderment as she attempted to dissipate the sudden awkwardness.

"Oh, yeah, I'm Dr. Bruce Banner, but you can call me Doc or Bruce," he cleared his throat, turning himself towards the windshield and starting up the car.

"Nice to meet you," I busied myself with putting away any stray hair just to occupy myself with something during the time I needed to recuperate from being just... Looked at by Lyra's dad.

It sounds ridiculous, I know, but I was so taken aback by his handsomeness and his aura of a gentle but powerful man that the ride to Stark tower, however swift, went on in slightly awkward silence. The streets outside were, thankfully, noisy, and the lack of an attempt to have a conversation could easily be attributed to Bruce's need to focus on the road, but Lyra's increasingly concerned looks did very little to settle the sudden racing of my heart.

"C'mon, I'll give you some sweats so you can let your..." Lyra's vague gesture towards my upper body disappeared behind her side of the door. "Hey, Tony," she suddenly interrupted her sentence, very obviously addressing another person who I managed to miss as Bruce parked in the spacious garage.

"I've been told you're finally bringing your friend, Green Pea," a voice I'd heard a thousand times on the TV poked fun at Lyra.

She bent down to retrieve her bag, shooting big eyes at me and mouthing an exaggerated "Sorry!"

Tony Stark looked about a week in debt on sleep, a contrast to the way he usually appeared in public. The exaggerated eyebrow raise made me shuffle awkwardly in my spot; the Led Zep tee caught my eyes as I lingered on it, aware of my own Mötorhead top on display. He noticed it too, causing his face leave the snide territory.

"Wow, I didn't expect kids these days to have any resemblance of taste in music but you've surprised me, Corpse Bride," he gave me a quiet wolf-whistle, watching me through lidded eyes.

I felt my eyebrow crawl upwards at his attitude but Bruce spoke up before I could say anything: "Tony, no," so firmly, I had to raise both of my eyebrows. I felt a smile tug at my lips, the situation strikingly familiar in it's essence. Like father, like daughter...

"No," Lyra's identical expression, fond and annoyed, topped up with an accusing finger pointed in my direction had everyone snorting a giggle at the situation.

"Lyra," I whined, just so I could coax her grin that she was very obviously trying to conceal. "See, I told you, every crazy genius needs their emotional support nerd," I fixed her with a pointed look.

She promptly grabbed me by the arm, leading all of us to the elevator as the two men behind us shared a hearty laugh at my well-timed joke. It was either that or I would have completely embarrassed myself by gaping and drooling over both THE Tony Stark and Lyra's father.

The rush didn't stop there. I was promptly and generously offered not only a spare pair of pants but also a whole room to stay in after an invitation to dinner I simply could not refuse. Dr. Banner firmly coaxed me into staying overnight with his pleading eyes and a hearty seasoning of guilt tripping, softly crooning how he simply could not let a young woman to wander the cold, rainy night in NYC alone.

Tony added something too, in a tone way too surefire and patronising. I guessed he noticed my eyes lingering on Dr. Banner, being a genius and all.

In a short amount of time, I found myself seated at a dinner table next to a happy, giggling Lyra who'd downed a glass of wine and was well into her second. I found it adorable how much of a lightweight she was; not hesitating in the slightest to point out that fact when she made hands for a pitcher of water.

Tony was the first one to snark back something vague about his college days and all the wild parties he used to throw, booing Bruce upon discovery that he, in fact, actually studied in college in favour of partaking in various illicit activities. That had both me and Tony giggling with Lyra promptly joining in, both of us losing it over the running joke or her being either a test tube baby or the result of immaculate conception.

Bruce's face blushed scarlet. He sputtered, a few stray drops of his lemonade landing on the (ironed!) collar of his purple shirt, cough disappearing in the wake of Tony's truly amused cackling. Dr. Banner was well on his way to either choke on his Lo Mein or turn green; thinking quickly, I decided to defuse a situation by sharing a harmless, funny story that happened to me as a freshman.

"I went on a date with this guy who said that music was the most important thing in his life, and I thought, wow, that's so beautiful!" I began my story over Lyra's incessant snickering. "So we had dinner and went back to his place because I'm a whore," the whole table erupted in laughter at my deadpan remark, Tony reaching over to give me a high five.

"And as we got there, he put on one of his demos which was just a bunch of sampled and remixed Guns'n'Roses songs, and I thought wow, that's gotta be one of the worst things I've ever heard," I pointedly looked away as Lyra's cackling grew in volume, having heard the same story several times by now and the outrage I expressed at the situation first hand.

"But instead of that I said, wow, that's so cool! Then we did the thing and his whole bedroom was covered in Axl Rose posters and I'm sure at some point Mr. Rose stared right up my asshole," there were tears streaming down Lyra's face as Tony flopped his upper body onto the table and Bruce convulsed helplessly in a silent fit of giggles. "And then I thought to myself: wow, I would have to pretend to like his music if I dated this guy and I just couldn't do that..." I breathed out, succumbing to the mirth at the dinner table. "It was good but not November Rain good, y'kno?"

Bruce snorted loudly, sliding down his chair with a hand over his face. The table shook with the force of Tony's cackling; I didn't see his expression but the howling, rasping noises sent me into another fit of laughter, right on par with Lyra.

"Is this..." Tony rapidly inhaled the much-needed oxygen. "Is this why you keep wincing whenever I play the 'Roses in the lab?" Tony wheezed and Lyra nodded.

"I just... I can picture it, and I-" she made a vague, encompassing gesture and a face.

"Please, don't," I urged with a snort. "There are better ways to get disappointed."

Dinner went on by smoothly after that, everybody happily making remarks on my dating fail, the topic of Lyra's birth and Tony's college shenanigans dismissed.

I caught Dr. Banner's pointed look as we finished our dessert - he was studying me, eyes searching for something that he very obviously wished was there. From the damp roots of my hair to the soft, cotton top clinging to my chest, I wasn't left unscrutinzed and unexamined. Like one of the many specimens he studied on a daily basis, Bruce lingered on the many characteristics that made me stand out in the grey crowd.

"Would you like to see the labs?" He asked, appearing behind me without a single sound.

The freshly cleaned dishes clattered in my arms. I'd almost dropped them, startled, but Bruce's hand landed on the top of the stack right before the top plate would have slipped off and shattered into pieces on the cold tile of his kitchen.

Blood rushed to my ears. "I'd love to," my brain had briefly returned to reality, the rush of meeting both Stark and Banner succumbing to logic and reason. My and his fields of study briefly overlapped, the question he posed was more than reasonable. In fact, many people would cheat, lie and steal to be in my position.

Bruce smiled, opening a cabinet and taking half of the dishes I was holding to stack them up in their proper place. The sleeves of his shirt were rolled up, exposing wide, muscular forearms littered with dark, coarse hair.

I was sure my face was flaming. After waving off Lyra's attempts to put shoes on me and leaving her to watch her TV show, a wide, warm palm rested on the back of my waist, gently steering me towards the elevator.

I tried to keep my eyes off Bruce in the large mirror on the walls of the car as it swiftly moved down, scrutinizing my appearance instead. My throat bobbed, the elevator car suddenly too small and too hot.

His eyes left marks on me - invisible ones, the kind that I knew were there just from the scorching heat sizzling on my skin.

There was a certain je ne sais quoi about him. Perhaps, it was in the way he was acting - a polar opposite of what I'd had expected, Dr. Bruce Banner possessed a quiet confidence and his patience appeared to be endless, heartily doused with an appreciation for his closest ones. The way his eyes lit up in response to people smiling around the dinner table was hard to miss.

When Bruce spoke about his research - whatever wasn't classified, anyway - the spark expanded into a mischievous fire. I could hardly understand the nuances in his work, scratch that- I could not understand a single word he was saying, at all. The individual syllables registered as they should, but my traitorous brain could only focus on the way he licked his lips in between quickly inhaled breaths.

"You're not... Following, are you?" The corner of his mouth lifted upwards, clever brown eyes fixed on my face.

God, I hoped I wasn't drooling. But to deny the obvious would have been a stretch. "No, not really," I swallowed, willing my eyes to lift from the large veins on the hand that was pointing at a set of equations. Reasonably good at math any day, they looked like the scribbles of a madman to me at the time.

Dr. Banner sighed, letting silence creep among the whirring machinery in the lab for a brief moment. "I don't scare you?" He removed his glasses, cleaning them with the corner of his shirt.

The question reeked of self-doubt and, perhaps, insecurity. "No," I answered simply, not giving him the slightest chance to find doubt in my words. I was barely holding my voice from shaking, afraid he'd misunderstand my reaction to the sudden change in atmosphere.

He was closer to me than I recalled. My hip was almost brushing his, the bulk of his shoulder millimeters from touching against my bare skin, the smell of something herbal, like tea, and sharp chemicals clouding my senses. It was such a contrasting experience.

Bruce turned to me, an expression between hunger and regret forcing me to shiver and look him straight in the eye. A hand landed on my waist, holding me in place with gentle firmness. "I'm a monster, I could hurt you," he whispered, leaning into me like a touch starved kitten. The man screamed contradiction. "We shouldn't."

Vivid images of the Hulk and the rampages years prior flashed through my mind; the rubble, the collateral damage in the form of many lives. I barely remembered it, having been too little to really understand what was going on. One thing, though, I knew for sure: ever since the world became aware of Lyra's existence, there had been no incidents. Sure, the Hulk still appeared when there was a threat, but there were no documented incidents of the green creature running amok, accidentally.

"You won't hurt me," I spoke with conviction. Perhaps, I was bluffing just slightly but I wouldn't lie like that to myself. The variable, the... Twelve or so percent chance of things going... Awry, it made a small, malicious worm inside of me rejoice and fill my limbs with familiar adrenalised yearning. "You're not a monster. Far from it, actually," I used the hand that was not supporting me against the desk to gently cradle the side of his face, letting my fingertips brush over the rough five o'clock shadow on his cheek.

Bruce emitted a sound somewhere between an agitated grown and a pleading whine, sagging with the sound exhale, pressing himself flush with my chest. His face slipped from my palm, the warm tip of his nose running a steady line up my neck, sending goosebumps running wildly down my back as his hot breath tickled the arch of my throat.

"Baby," the nickname punched a stuttered gasp out of me with the intensity contained in just that one word. "I've been hearing all these amazing things about you," his voice dropped, low baritone rumbling straight into my ear. "I won't be able to hold back. I'll want you all to myself," his bicep flexed under my hand.

My knees would have bucked if I wasn't grasping onto Bruce for dear life after those words. I had some sense of personal pride in me, so while my body was an easy, traitorous thing, my mind was more than eager to participate in this game, to ping pong a little bit before... "Yeah? What things?" I breathed.

Teeth briefly closed around my tender skin, nipping for just a second. "You're kind, beautiful," his hand took a steadfast hold on the back of my neck, exposing my throat to his mouth. More skin to mark, more time to whisper. "Intelligent, bright and clever," the more he spoke, the fiercer he became. Bruce's grasp tightened until I was pliant in it, willingly following his silent commands. "A bit of a pain in the ass," a healthy dose of humour was added into the mix as my ass was roughly grabbed, our fronts pressed together at his insistence.

"That sounds about right," I didn't resist the sudden urge to snark, thoughts lazily floating in my head, like clouds on a bright sunny day, fleeting and sparse. None of them caught on. I was focused on feeling the need, on my need to feel.

A sharp smack landed on the plump of my ass, the sound resonating in the eerily quiet lab. The sounds of machinery had dulled at some point, leaving just the two of us panting our lust into each other's space. "I know you can be a good girl. Will you, princess?" His fingertips dug into my flesh, surpassing the soft sweatpants as if they weren't even there.

I could only nod, dumbly, overcome by the sudden rush of blood to my body. The life coarsing through me sang, demanding a release of the pent-up tension.

"What's that?" Bruce removed himself from my neck, catching my unfocused eyes with a crooked smirk on his lips.

"Yes," I swallowed, breathing through my mouth.

"Mmm," he hummed, running both hands over my sides, over the frayed edges of my Mötorhead top. He admired it, briefly, setting his eyes on the band logo that was right over my breasts. Having decided something to himself, Bruce promptly removed it, lifting it over my head with ease and leaving it right on the science lab table.

Taking hold of my hand, he walked over to a hidden set of sliding doors that revealed a rather large, frequently used bed, shutting them just as I walked in, wearing only my bra and borrowed sweats. My back was pressed to the door in mere seconds, hot palms chasing away the chill of the lab as Bruce slotted his lips over mine.

He tasted like something I've never had before. His lips - so plush and supple, took hold of the kiss with practiced gusto, sucking me in without a chance or the desire to escape. I drank from him, sucked on the bottom lip as his tongue explored my mouth, danced with mine.

The room was spinning, the ringing in my ears growing in volume. I was only partly aware of the sensation of sliding down the wall; our knees thudded on the carpeted floor simultaneously, heavy breathing the only noise I could distinguish.

"Breathe, baby, that's it," Bruce coaxed, gently stroking my nape. The soft cotton of his shirt crumpled under my fingers where I held onto him, desperately searching something to ground myself with.

The buckle of his belt clattered and then clinked again as he wrapped the worn leather around my wrists, bringing them together in front of my chest. I exhaled sharply at the intimate gesture, a whine bubbling up from my chest when Bruce used a single fingertip to raise my chin.

My eyes met his; a brown iris tinged with the faintest of green around the outer edge. "This okay, princess?" He sought my face for confirmation, for agreement, for anything.

I nodded, stuttering mid-gesture, remembering our previous interaction. My mouth did not want to cooperate but I forced it to, even if it came out as little more than a pitiful mewl. "Yes, daddy," the word, sweet and sticky like fruit syrup, poured from my lips.

My eyes slid shut as my conscience - or was it common sense? - took hold of the situation. I was on my knees in front of my best friends dad, a virtual stranger, and I'd just-

Bruce's soft chuckle stopped the negative spiral of my thoughts. "That's my girl," he sounded a tad more breathless now, a hairliner in his perfect façade of self-control. As if he'd sensed my indecisiveness, he tugged on the makeshift restraints, pulling me closer, closer and into his lap.

A warm, solid chest with a healthy amount of fluff greeted me. Bruce let my lax, pliant body fall into his arms, catching me effortlessly and bringing my face to his lips. "You have nothing to be ashamed of, you're my good girl," he peppered soft kisses all over my flaming cheeks, my twitching nose, my fluttering lashes.

"Please," I begged, shame giving way to the flood of arousal that seemingly hit me all at once. I was aware of the dampness collecting in my panties, the stiffness of my limbs from holding back the ravenous desire to paw at Bruce like a wild animal. "Please, daddy..."

"I know, I know, baby girl," he soothed, not stopping his tender assault on my face. "Daddy will make it all better. I know just what you need," Bruce finally pulled away. I heard the sound of him undoing his zipper and then the awkward shuffle of him shucking off his pants.

Somewhere in between of all that, he'd ended up sitting down on the bed, wearing only his boxers, his shirt hanging open. The red crawled down his chest, partially masked by the coarse salt and pepper hair; his lips were cherry red and his hair was sticking out in odd directions. Bruce looked sinful.

My eyes inadvertently landed on the impressive bulge in his boxers; in response to my widened eyes, he reached out for it, stroking the outline of his thick cock through his boxers. "Like what you see, baby?"

"Yeah," My mouth watered.

"Baby wants a fat cock?" He teased, sounding like he knew exactly what he was doing, testing my self-control like that. With a flick of his wrist, it sprang free, slapping against his tummy, coating the fine hairs with drops of clear, musky fluid.

I swallowed, feeling the taste of him from afar and yearning for more where I was parked between his spread legs.

In a gesture almost loving, he tugged on the belt still wrapped around my wrists, bringing my face to his leaking shaft and my hands to the base of it, letting me feel the weight of his balls in them. The cock throbbed, neglected, weighed down by the heaviness of his full balls.

"Go ahead, baby, suck my cock," the encouragement came with a gentle push to my head.

I obediently followed, wrapping my lips around the pink, moist crown of it, a hum beginning in the back of my throat. My God, Bruce tasted heavenly... I whirled and slipped my tongue a around his head, I dipped into the slit to drink the nectar right from the tap, idly coming to awareness of the broken, choked moans coming from the man above me.

Raising my head got me a view of his chin; head thrown back, the lax O of his mouth glistened in the meager light. My eyes slid lower, to the flex of his abs. Bruce fought hard to stay still. The desire consumed me, a sudden rush of power at having Dr. Bruce Banner's cock in my mouth and the man at my mercy; I inhaled, sliding my mouth further and further down his throbbing length.

"Fuck," I heard him mutter before his hands gripped the sides of my face. "Hungry, baby, are you?" His eyes glowed a faint green; I shuddered at the power he held within himself. Held back for me. "Tap my thigh twice," he spoke and I had no choice but to obey. "Okay. Do that if it gets too much, alright?" I nodded. He gave me a wide, beaming smile. "Good girl," he praised, experimentally bucking his hips into my mouth a few times.

In and out. I focused on my breathing, sharp, little inhales: his girth took up all the free space in my mouth, the tip of it barely fit into my throat. The burn, the stretch; I felt every tenth of an inch, every bulging attempt of my body to accommodate Bruce's huge cock. It was delicious, I couldn't help but crave the same stretch in my neglected, sopping wet pussy.

"Fuck, you're taking it so well," Bruce moaned wetly. "Your mouth... S'like heaven... Could fuck it all day, that's my good girl," the rambling increased in it's intensity as the pace of his hips hastened. Drool and tears flowed like a river; my chin was dropping with it, spit connected my face to his pelvis. "Oh," there was a brief pause to his movements; suddenly, he pulled out, fisting the base of his cock, staring me down with a ferocious gleem in his eye.

I must've looked a straight mess; my face like a crime scene, my clothes disheveled, covered in fluids and most of all - I was desperately grinding against my own feet, too focused on the glorious cock in front of me to notice the weakness of my own flesh. "Daddy?" I questioned, wincing at the grating of my own voice.

Without a word, the belt was tugged once more; in a set of movements just slightly north of acrobatic, I found myself laying on my back in the middle of the bed, my sweatpants suffering a haste demise in the corner of the room.

Bruce crawled atop me, leaving a trail of sloppy kisses on every inch of my skin he could reach, mouthing something inaudible into every pore of my body. As he drew closer, I discerned bitten-off phrases, stringing my desire into sticky, tangy mess at the apex of my thighs.

"My perfect baby girl," the words reached me; all tongue, he kissed me once more, arching into me as much as I arched into his hot grasp. A brief inspection of my face - he was satisfied with what he saw - and Bruce crawled back, settling in between my spread legs, breathing hot air on the lips of my sex still covered by a sopping wet piece of fabric.

"Oh fuck," I yelped, feeling him smooch it soundly, the hot wetness of his tongue penetrating the meagre lace barrier with ease.

He moved it aside anyway, with a single finger, giving my pussy a broad lick, moaning into my cunt like a man gone mad. It took a few more licks for him to feel sated enough to surface, all the while holding my hips down. I was so sensitive, I felt even the tiniest flicks to my clit, I was sure if I didn't cum then and there, I would explode.

"Such a pretty pussy, princess," his heavy breathing paused briefly. He nipped my thigh. "So wet, is that all for me?"

"Yes, yes, daddy," I rasped, pushing my cunt into his face, losing all shame and trepidation.

"So tasty," he continued the torture, outlining my lower lips before taking another nosedive right into it, swirling his tongue around every fold, sucking onto my clit.

Bruce ate my pussy until my thighs shook, until my core quivered and I could no longer hold back the choked, ragged screams starting somewhere in the low of my belly and coming out as unholy, all-consuming yowls filled with unadulterated lust.

"Louder for me, baby," he inhaled rapidly, and then, he sucked on my clit.

The world stopped, halted on it's axis, every muscle going rigid in my body and every nerve ending simultaneously coming alive. Faintly, I heard a chant, repeating two syllables over and over, it sounded like my voice - but I had no control over myself. All I could do was weakly grind my hips against Bruce's mouth, faltering when the crashing waves of my orgasm began to recede.

The infuriating overstimulation stopped; blinking hazily, I saw Bruce's eyes glimmer brown and green in front of my face. His nose and his chin was glistening with a thin coat of sticky fluid; disheveled and red, he looked a man on the verge of a revelation.

Something hot and blunt nosed at my cunt, bringing back the moment to me - I realized, with a great deal of impatience - how empty I felt. The decision was minute. "Daddy, fuck me, please, I want your cock," the words came easily.

"That's my girl," his eyes fluttered shut as the first inches squeezed through the snug of my cunt. I was sopping wet and as relaxed as I'd be, but even then, it was a stretch. "Good girl, good baby," the mumbled praise made me whine and my pussy clamp on his cock. "Relax, let daddy fill you up." Breathing through it, I consciously unwound myself around him, letting my palms rest freely on his shoulders. "Let daddy take care of you."

Like melted sugar, his husked words stuck to me inside and out. Short, sharp thrusts; Bruce was patiently burrowing himself inside of me, making his way to reach the deepest parts of me I didn't even know existed. His cock head pressed against something hard and spongy inside of me; stars burst behind my eyes I'd clamped shut on reflex.

I moaned weakly, tugging on his arm, pressing myself closer. It felt so, so good. Like a raw nerve had been exposed and he was stroking it, pushing that little switch with every stroke of his hips.

"I'm not gonna last," he muttered as once again, my cunt squeezed him snugly in place, just as greedy as I was to feel that tiny explosion spark up within me again.

"I want..." I panted. Bruce set in a punishing pace after that, a palm under my ass, squeezing it so hard there would definitely be bruising. I craved it, I needed to see the evidence this was not some elaborate fever dream. "I want... Daddy to fill me up," words came out garbled; it sounded like gibberish to my ears but Bruce - they spurred him on.

"Oh yeah?" That breathless, boyish cockiness was back in his voice again; despite how fucked out he sounded, I prepared myself for something truly out of this world. I just knew.

He sat back on his shins, dragging me by the hips with him, making me shiver and moan and twitch and clamp onto him again as his throbbing cock hit that special spot again. And again. And again.

"Look at me, baby," a hand on my belly and his eyes burning right through me. As they slid down, towards the apex of my thighs where he was still moving within me almost lazily, I saw it.

"Oh fuck," I couldn't utter much more than a two-syllabled profanity. There was a bulge in my belly, just above my pelvis, moving in rhythm with Bruce's hips. And then he pressed on it and I-

Something, someone, somewhere was screaming. The noise was loud and pitched, but even then, I could barely hear it though the neverending waves of bliss that enveloped my whole being. Gold and silver at the edges of my rapidly darkening vision; I was drowning in something that smelled and felt like Bruce. The safety of his arms, the warmth of his heated body, the rapid snapping of his hips-

Oh.

"I'm gonna, fuck," the last word was but a ghost of a human speech. Growling low and filthy, Bruce leaned into my ear, his breath hot and moist. "Mine," his hips stuttered, his cock nestled deep, the sensation bordering on painful, forcefully extracted pleasure. It throbbed with every spurt of his seed; each one felt like a solid punch in the gut to my abused pussy.

"Daddy," I mewled, my body jerking away from him but my mind and my soul yearning for more. His rapidly softening flesh made the idea of being separated unbearable.

"S'good, s'my good girl, m'so proud," he mumbled, looking slightly disoriented as he removed himself from me, immediately pressing me to his side and interwining any free, flailing limbs.

We laid in silence, each of us slowly coming back to Earth after the completely unreal experience we just had. I didn't know what to think, didn't know what to do as the realization set in, the post-orgasmic haze giving way to a sudden rush of clarity.

"I can hear you overthinking," Bruce's voice was fond.

Before I could muster up the courage to snark back, the divided doors opened, one very concerned Tony Stark standing there, armed with a tranquilizer gun in one hand and a pack of cookies in the other. His mouth, previously open to (probably) yell at us, remained as open when his eyes had registered the scene in front of him.

I stared at Bruce. Bruce stared at Tony.

"The noise," he offered in the way of explanation, dangling the pack of cookies, looking, for once - speechless. He recovered quickly, however, even if the remark was a thin ghost of his usual sass: "You pick the nerd over me? I'm hurt," he scoffed in mock irritation, although I was pretty sure I saw some satisfaction in there, too.

Bruce looked at me. I looked at Bruce.

A mischievous grin slowly crept up his face, an identical one beginning to appear on my own face seconds after.

"Hey, two nerds is better than one, right?" My response is what did it; or, rather, it was the evidence of my previous throat-fucking clearly audible in my voice... Tony dropped the cookies and then, the tranq gun.

Bruce Banner taglist: @pilloclock @mikariell95 @letsby @sleep-i-ness @toomanyrobins @persephonehemingway @mostly-marvel-musings @schemefrenzy @lillsxd @bluecrazedandbeautiful @slothspaghettiwrites @sapphicnoodle69 @couldntbedamned @xoxabs88xox @marvelsbanner @tripleyeeet @tatestripedsweater @stuckybarton

#bruce banner x reader #bruce banner smut #bruce banner x you #bruce banner x y/n #Bruce Banner #bun writes #I haven't written shit in a month and boom #6k words in three hours #i don't like the ending #I'm bad at them #okay #okay .

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apixrl · 3 years

Text

DRIVER'S LICENSE.

katsuki bakugou x fem! reader

WARNING(S): angst. cheating. swearing because it's bakugou.

word count: 4.5k

song: drivers license // olivia rodrigo (i wonder why...)

note(s): so i captioned this *at the time of writing* 'hello and welcome to i've had the worst two weeks ever so i wrote a katsuki oneshot to cope' and it's probably one of my most personal pieces of writing tbh

"-come Tuesday and we'll potentially see an end to this heavy downpour of rain. Temperatures will be on the rise to around-"

The talk on the radio cut short at the jab of your finger, heaving a great sigh which faded into the muffled pitter-patter of rain from outside. The streets had been showered with heavy downpours for the last week or so, no sign of sun or a still and restful day. Notwithstanding the miserable outdoors, the windscreen wipers on your car never ceased in their duty to grant you a clear view of the road ahead. And whilst you were grateful for their devotion, it didn't feel clear in the slightest. In fact, the road had never felt so blurry.

Shivering against the cold night chill and tucking your knees cosily to your chest, you eyed the raindrops on the windows. They raced against one another before they dripped down to your car's body, their glossy presence obvious thanks to the many hues of street lamps that surrounded them. You could have watched them for hours, being honest. Something about the droplets of water battling it out quite enticing. Anything to take you away from the cruel reality you were living in.

Your heart ached and yearned. But to no avail, the one you ached and yearned for didn't love you back.

Not anymore, at least.

Just the mere thought provoked a pulsating pang to resonate throughout your entire body. A pang filled with grief and sadness. Anger and hurt. You missed his sun-kissed face on the sunny mornings. You missed his eyes and how they gazed at you from across the room. You missed the smiles and laughter he would only show for you and you alone. The sense of glee and euphoria that came with that honour. Yet all of it was gone and there was no way you could get it back.

The memories of what had been triggered more waterworks. Hot, salty tears dug at the corners of your eyes and trickled down your face. Your motionless car concealed your cries and sobs. Every thrash against the wheel as you questioned to nobody in particular what went wrong and why. How you didn't see the signs sooner. What you could have done better. When he stopped loving you. If he ever planned to stop loving you. Whether it would have hurt more if you found out sooner.

All these questions with nothing to answer them.

Katsuki Bakugou had always fascinated you. From the very moment you met. You accompanied your friend on a double date, and he was the guy who she matched for you. Whilst he originally acted as though a blind date was the last place he wanted to be, underneath the aggression you could tell there was something much more genuine and true.

And your assumptions were correct. Truth be told, Katsuki Bakugou was one of the most genuine and truest people you had met (at the time). Once it was just the two of you, he allowed his true colours to unveil. Through the smallest of kind gestures that still haunted your mind to this day. Then upon confrontation, as you bid each other goodbye at your back door, his denial resulted in a flirtatious contest which then proceeded to an intimate night that changed your life forever. From there your mind was set.

He was the one.

Emphasis on was.

So blinded with a fairy tale love you grew so accustomed to, you never saw it coming. Never in your two-year relationship - that had so much strength and commitment built on top of it, never did you think that Katsuki Bakugou would throw it all out of the window like it was nothing. Disregard your loyalty and adoration for a drunken one night stand that slowly became an occasional hookup. Which soon became a mandatory pastime once a fortnight. Then twice. Maybe more than that. You wouldn't put it past him with what you knew now.

He kept it from you for nearly six months. Six months. The only reason you discovered his lies and deception was because you were let off early one night from work. You worked a night shift, see. Your last job had fallen to shambles, and it was temporary whilst you searched for a new one. And whilst that did take a toll on your relationship with Katsuki Bakugou, mostly finding time for intimacy since his working hours were during the day, none of that gave him any right to go and do what he did.

That wasn't one of the only reasons, you knew that for sure. There were other motives for his lack of loyalty. But you were never told. After you froze at the sight of another woman under his hold and stormed straight back to your car to flee. After he chased you down the flights of stairs in nothing but baggy pants into the streets of a twilight Musutafu. After you screamed into the darkness and belted your fists against his chest. Fists that were driven with rage and hurt and every emotion that burned like the hottest of fires and froze like the coldest of ice. He never even told you. He never made an effort to address it. Nor had he attempted to call or even try to visit your Mom's house - where you stayed as you searched for a permanent place to live. Just because you retreated for your car and cried that it was over, he never tried. But that didn't mean you weren't allowed an explanation. An apology. Something to give you a form of closure and a reason to move on. But you never did.

That wasn't even what hurt the most, either.

As silly as it was, the thing that hurt you the most was the very car you sat in.

EIGHT MONTHS AGO . . .

The red glow of traffic lights hit Katsuki's vermilion irises as he stared dead ahead at the long line of vehicles, the ash-blond heaving a sigh into the air. His finger tapped impatiently against the steering wheel he gripped with one hand, the spare rested casually against your upper thigh affectionately.

"I can't believe we have to sit through this torture just to go to some damn party," Katsuki grumbled, taking a glance over at you. His brows furrowed when he met you peacefully slouched down, nose dug into your phone as you presumably played some sort of game to pass the time. Like you had no care in the world for your predicament.

"It's your best friend's birthday, love," You mused back, Katsuki surprised you even listened based on your focused expression directed towards your phone. "It's not like we can just miss it,"

"Yeah, but we could have missed all this pain by taking the train instead of driving across town during rush hour,"

"Trains are icky, the seats would have ruined your suit and my dress," You pointed out, looking at the blond over your screen, sending him a sweet smile. He cocked a brow, a smirk creeping its way onto his lips as a scoff of a laugh broke out between them.

"Right, and laying down like a sloth is gonna help keep your dress uncreased?" He returned, amused at your realisation. At his comment, you sat up faintly and pouted your lip.

"Driving means more time to play Gravity Pops, and so does traffic,"

"Seriously? That's the game you're playing? You're such a dumbass,"

"Yes! I'm in the top 11% globally! I need to get to number one!" Was your protest, your arms flailing ahead of you briefly for dramatic emphasis. Katsuki clicked his tongue and rolled his eyes, though the small smile plastered over his lips betrayed his initial reaction. Unable to deny your determination, he spoke with confidence and almost a sense of pride.

"Number one, hm? Clearly rubbing off on you aren't I?"

"In a way, yes,"

"That's my girl," Katsuki remarked, earning a giggle from you that was uplifting to hear. It was there your attention went back to your phone, but Katsuki wasn't done. "So, speaking of cars, Y/N," Hearing his chosen tone - which sounded suggestive, you eyed him closely. Hesitant to reply as you had a sense of what he planned to say.

"...Yes?"

"Have you thought any more about getting your driver's license yet?"

Called it.

"...No,"

"What?" Katsuki began, tilting his head. He was surprised that he felt surprised. You had said those words in regards to this topic countless times. Still, he persisted. "Is that a no meaning you haven't or no meaning that you don't want to?"

"Both?" You half-guessed, sheepishly grinning at the look you were sent. "Look, cars scare me okay? And so do roads. And people. My nerves wouldn't be able to handle it! I can barely communicate with people face to face, so me being on the road is a recipe for disaster!"

"I know but -," Katsuki exhaled sharply, understanding your reasoning. You had voiced these concerns when confiding to Katsuki about your fears of the road. Something built and corrupted from social media as well as phobias and fears in general, it was a battle you had yet to overcome. You wanted to drive but was terrified of messing up or causing chaos on the road. Potentially inflicting harm to someone and yourself. You still weren't sure what triggered it all, but over the years it had manifested into something quite irrational, to say the least. Katsuki had been supportive of it and whilst he truly would love to always act as your personal taxi - you couldn't hide from it forever. It wasn't his job to keep you in your comfort zone. That, and he couldn't always be there for you that way. What if he was miles away and you had somewhere urgent to go like the hospital? "It's not as scary as you think. I know it's hard to believe that but seriously. The freedom you get from driving is amazing,"

"I'll think about it a little longer, okay?" You said with hesitancy, looking at Katsuki for a sign of confirmation. He nodded in defeat, knowing you probably needed more time and felt put on the spot. So he averted his eyes back to the road to check if the traffic had moved at all. It had not.

"Okay," Katsuki said. "But I can't be your taxi service forever,"

"But I like you being my taxi service," You jokingly said, a little sadness in your tone. "Your road rage is funny and I like watching you get out of the car and walk to my door after pulling up in my driveway,"

"What do you mean?" Katsuki asked, catching the twitch of a smile on your face upon saying those words. It struck his interest in what you could mean.

"You know, like when you say you're coming to pick me up?" You explained. "You pull up at my driveway and I don't know... simple things like that just remind me of how much I love you. It's dumb really, but it's important to me,"

"Really?" Katsuki questioned in disbelief. How something so small and meaningless could mean so much was puzzling. He couldn't understand why it was so special to you. But that didn't invalidate it in any shape or form. So he pushed that aside, replacing his wonder with gratitude. He returned to your bashful and flustered features, feeling a smile grow on his face.

"Yeah," You said, shrugging to downplay your words. "I love you. Stuff like that means a lot to me,"

"I love you too, even though you're a dumbass," Katsuki said, humbled by what you had said. The two of you shared a gentle exchange, your hand grabbing hold of Katsuki's as you gave it a squeeze. He squeezed back, and silence ensued. Had he realised such a thing sooner, then Katsuki would have pulled up in your driveway much more than he had been doing. But at that a thought struck his mind, victoriously smirking as he had an idea on how to potentially sway your worries. Or begin swaying it. Something was better than nothing, after all. "But what if I wanted you to pull up in my driveway one day?" His words caused you to look over at him in curiosity, hearing the seriousness in the question. It caught you off guard momentarily, having to contemplate as you gradually concluded that he had a point.

"Well one day, maybe I will," You vaguely replied and sat up a little bit. The hand holding yours pulled back and lifted to land on your shoulder, gripping reassuringly tight.

"I hope you do, I'd like to get in on this driveway action," He joked and smirked, faith riddled in his expression. You giggled ever so slightly, tempted to lean forward and peck Katsuki on the lips in thanks, but never a thing was to happen as the alerting red light from outside switched to warm amber.

"Ah!" Katsuki yelled in triumph, his attention leaving you swiftly as he got back into the driver's seat. Giving you no opportunity to respond to him and overall ruining the moment. "Took fucking long enough!"

The light turned green, and he set the car in motion, leaving you with your thoughts and the words he had uttered that day as the traffic stood still.

All your efforts, all your time devoted to getting over your fear of driving and the road as a whole... all of it was pointless. You did it for him. You promised him you would overcome your fears and better yourself. He built that motivation up brick by brick until you could grab hold and seize control. He wasted all that time to get you to reach such a stepping stone only to abandon it once it was through.

Just so you could pull up in his driveway, just like he requested. And what did you get in return when you finally did? A stab in the back and the loss of your other half.

You wiped your eyes via the sleeve of your hoodie, dampening the cuffs. Sniffling and exhaling a shaky breath, your gaze landed on nothing in particular. Yet somewhere within your clouded mind, you found interest. As that was where your gaze remained for a certain amount of time. You weren't sure how long exactly. It could have felt like an hour and only been five minutes. Or it could have felt like five minutes and was actually an entire hour. Either way, the clock ticked on and didn't wait for you to stop.

It was a good thing you had pushed your fears down and rose above them. It just pained you that you didn't even do it for yourself. Without Katsuki Bakugou, you never had any intentions of doing so. As a matter of fact, you had set out to take the train or bus for the rest of your life. Hell, you were going to use a bike and scooter if you got desperate. Had he even acknowledged how much work you put in just to get where you were? Was all that effort part of the reason why he decided to cheat? There was absolutely no telling. Absolutely no telling at all.

You wondered what he was doing now. Was he laid in bed resting peacefully? Out with his friends for a boy's night only? Maybe cooking his favourite curry? Possibly on a late-night jog despite the harsh weather? It never stopped him other times.

Did he ever think about you? Regret what he did and the actions he took? Had he ever considered apologising? Would he ever apologise? What if he was celebrating the fact you were no longer in his life? Had there ever been any love there for you in the start? Did he ever actually want you to get your driver's license because he believed in you? Or was it so he could get rid of you with much more ease? Make his departure less severe and less selfish? A way to justify his choices because it's not like you were hopelessly left to suffer everyday life now that you had a means of transport. Was he really that cruel?

Your thoughts were interrupted by the sharp jingle of your phone, the device lighting up as it sat in the passenger seat to your left. It took two or three rings for you to glance over at it, E/C eyes sore and drained from crying out. You squinted them to read the caller, seeing the name 'Work' fade in and out on the brightly lit screen. For a second or two you argued back and forth on whether to even bother picking up. Something about reaching across for your phone requiring a magnitude of energy you no longer possessed. Having spent it all on your cries of agony and the deprivation of your old life as a whole.

However, you had ignored your work in the last couple of weeks too many times now. So many times that pulling the same stunt again would probably risk you losing your job. It's not like your work was interested in why you felt such overwhelming pain... all they cared about was you turning up to do what you were hired to.

So using a forceful hand, you leaned over to pick it up. You fumbled to grip your phone and accepted the call with a dainty tap of your thumb. Then you blinked away your tears and subtly sniffed, pressing your phone to your ear to address the caller.

"Hello?" You practically croaked, quick to clear your throat and push any signs of upset down. It was presumably dry from how much you'd cried in the last two hours.

"L/N! Hey! Glad you finally picked up!" Unlike the droll and unvarying tones of your boss, the person on the other end was much more lively and greeting. So much so you could only assume it was none other than your work colleague, Etsuko. Probably the only person you genuinely liked where you worked, and the only person who made the time pass by faster. "I was worried you were gonna leave me on answer phone again,"

"Hm, what? Oh right. Yeah. Sorry about that. Haven't been feeling too great," You lied, even though it wasn't a complete fib. You hadn't been feeling great at all. You had never felt so rock bottom. It all just originated from your mind over anything else. But when did work care about that?

"Sounds like it, I hope you've been okay!" Still cheery as ever, Etsuko followed up with a laugh to fill the silence you created by not saying anything. "Is everything well? It's nothing serious, is it?"

"No. It's not. Just some dumb cold I caught," You excused. "I'm better now, though," Slouching down in your seat, you decided to ask the question that had been roaming your mind the last minute or so. "So why are you calling?"

"Oh, right!" Etsuko said. "Mr Kobashigawa was just wondering when you planned on coming back - for schedule reasons and to get people to fill in for your shifts,"

"I er...," Not entirely sure how to answer, you stuttered as your words cowered away in your attempt to speak. "I don't -,"

"It's okay, he doesn't need an answer yet," Etsuko reassured. "Maybe in the next day or two, though? He wasn't really specific, being honest,"

You sighed at the guilt brewing in your stomach. You weren't even sick for crying out loud! Why were you lying just so you could wallow in your own sadness?! Like that was going to change anything! Sitting around and crying wasn't going to give you what you wanted. You weren't getting him back. Katsuki Bakugou wasn't yours anymore. He made that clear by cheating. By making minimal effort to give you an explanation. By causing you so much pain with little care or concern. Why couldn't you get it through your thick skull that your feelings didn't matter anymore?! That they were being wasted on a lost cause. A lost relationship!

"Well I mean -," You started, running a hand through your hair as you tread carefully on your words. "I could come in tonight? Has Mr Kobashigawa got someone to fill for me yet?"

"Um... no? I don't think so?" Etsuko answered, uncertainty in her voice. "Let me go check. Be right back!" And with that, the line fell dead. The call didn't end, just Etsuko placing the phone down to get an answer for you. Leaving you all by your lonesome once more.

Reflecting, you could see the logic in your thoughts. The best course of action would be to hold your head up high and live life the way it was before. When you were happy. Just... excluding the factors that actually made you happy. Which was him. Wouldn't that be healthier than crying all the time?

Yes, it would. But was it what you wanted? Not really.

"L/N!" The voice in your ear startled you to the point you nearly dropped your phone, panicking through a gasp as you fiddled to grab hold of it again.

"Wa-! Careful you nearly scared me half to death!"

"Oops, sorry!" Etsuko giggled softy, sounding as perky as ever. "I'm just excited to tell you that nobody's filling in your shift! You can still come in for ten-thirty!"

"I-I can?" You asked. After an upbeat 'yeah!' filtered through your ears, you considered your options. Remaining in the serene, quiet confines of your car with only the downfall of rain to accompany you sounded like utter bliss, given how you felt. But you felt an internal kick up the backside which told you - no... demanded you to just get over this moping attitude of yours and look on the bright side. To get over the lack of closure and simply... move on.

Yeah... if he found out you were an utter train wreck thanks to the damage he inflicted; Katsuki Bakugou would probably revel in it. He had a history of gaining pleasure from other's misfortunes... or it was rumoured he did (during his younger years, anyway). You had never wanted to believe it but you couldn't find a reason to refute it anymore. After all you had been through, it seemed to fit his character and personality more than ever. So with that fact apparent, you held a firm forefront and searched for a determined tone, and made your answer to your friend.

"You betcha I'm coming in! I'll see you in half an hour!"

Too enthusiastic? Probably. Still, it was better than acting pessimistic and hopeless. No matter, however, because that was exactly the attitude Etsuko had been hoping for.

"Alrighty!" She exclaimed, smile audible in her voice from the other end. "I can't wait to get our dynamic duo going again! I've missed you!"

"Yeah, me too, 'Suko," You hummed in agreement.

"Great! Catch ya later my partner in crime,"

"Heh. You too, dumbass," You found a reason to smile from her childish behaviour, though your choice of wording seemed to hit a nerve. It did more than that, it practically reverted all that confidence and progress you had made in the last ten minutes of being on the phone. All from one innocent word that escaped your lips.

Dumbass.

That's what he used to call you.

The phone call had ended without you even noticing, your phone still pressed to your ear as a small buzz sounded into it. You stared dead ahead, flashes of all the times he had said that word to you running through your memory. It was his form of a pet name. Some might see it as a little degrading on the surface, but you never minded. Once you learned the deeper meaning of the name, it became something equivalent to the likes of 'Sunshine' or 'Angel'. If anything, you ended up preferring it to those sorts of nicknames. Hence why Katsuki Bakugou had called you it on so many occasions.

No. Stop it. You can't let something like that bother you. Not after the efforts you just went to. Stop. Shaking yourself out of it, you returned to reality and permitted your phone to drop onto your lap. Your hand once holding it gripped onto your steering wheel, the other following shortly behind to do the same.

"I love you too, even if you're a dumbass,"

That rung in your head one final time, tormenting and mocking your present. The things you'd be willing to do to hear him say that to you one last time...

"No," You firmly shook your head, banging it lightly against the headrest to return yourself to reality. An attempt to knock those words to the back of your mind where you could lock them in a securely tight safe for the rest of eternity. "Just... just don't think about it. Easy. Just focus on what you're doing now," You reached for your keys which sat in the ignition, taking hold and turning them ever so slightly. Your car stirred to life, engine rumbling and the dials lighting up in a form of warm greeting. "You're going to work. No more feeling sorry for yourself,"

No more feeling sorry for yourself.

Your eyes set themselves on the road ahead. The vacant, dark and solitary road that didn't wait for you to make your decision. Life moved on after all, so if you were going to do anything - it was to catch up and take the winning lead.

So despite your circumstances; your inner desires and wishes and begs for what you wanted back but to no avail would ever get, you pulled out of your parking space (which had long exceeded the time limit, thankfully nobody was around to see) that drowned in pitiful rains of the night, and began to make your way down the street. In search of a place better than the one you were trapped in.

An endless road that wasn't all that clear, you were going to tackle it. Not for anyone else, unlike the last time you met difficulty and hardships. No, no, no. This time it was for your sake. All the mental energy to recover and become a better version of yourself, in the endgame it was all for you. You could push past all the deceit and lies you had been told and you could push past your normality which was him. Katsuki Bakugou. The man that hurt you as nobody had ever done before. You could create new normality without him.

A thought of forever he created and destroyed, resorted to driving alone past his street, never to be thought of again.

#katsuki bakugō #katsuki bakugo x reader #bnha bakugo katsuki #bnha x reader #mha x reader #bakugou x reader #anime x reader #anime #x reader #angst #katsuki bakugou x female reader #katsuki bakugou x you #katsuki x y/n #katsuki bakugou

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smallblueandloud · 4 years

Note

HEY HI WHAT'S UP so i'm almost at the point where i can FINALLY read the tww sense8 au, i'm so excited, you have no idea. so anyway- whenever you're in the mood to write for this verse- how did early cj/andy/toby work? how did they meet, and figure out they were in the same cluster (yes including will i'm so in love with him as a part of this)? what were/are the individual relationships like within it? literally talk about anything- any relationship- within this au, i love the concept so much. ❤

(the sense8 au in question)

hmm, okay, so as i mentioned to you i actually had written a bit about their relationship in some snippets that will probably never be posted. but i don’t LIKE what i wrote, so i’m gonna change it, and we’re all just gonna pretend it was like this the whole time lmao.

andy and toby met first, as always, in boston because i am predictable. in this au you don’t know you’re in the same cluster until you make eye contact without being on blockers (which are telepathy-supressing pills, essentially), so they had no idea it was coming, but toby is running a campaign that one of andy’s college friends is working on and andy’s there because her friend was supposed to go to lunch with her an HOUR ago and toby glances up from the papers he’s holding, and-

well. that’s that. toby isn’t so militant about refusing to get close to andy, although he does still feel a bit odd about their age gap and still doesn’t agree to date her for a while. richard schiff is 6 years older than kathleen york, so i’m gonna say that andy was 24 and toby was 29. but, as andy points out: she’s just as smart as he is, and besides, something in their souls said they were equals, and there’s nothing he can do to avoid it. so they date.

they come up with some ground rules for their relationship. no blockers while they’re together in person. no blockers without a good reason, because they both like being connected. if one of them finds one of the other members of their cluster - because the cluster isn’t complete, they know, they don’t know how big it’s going to be but they know it’s not JUST the two of them - they have to call the other IMMEDIATELY. both of them are idealists like that. they know they’re going to share their lives with their other cluster mates, even if it’s not quite romantic.

and then about a year later, when toby is 30 and andy is 25, toby gets introduced to the new press representative of his latest campaign, a 26-year-old cj. and i think they actually even manage to get into an argument before they make eye contact - but it happens, and toby takes a step to the right into the office where andy has a meeting today.

“i found her,” he says. “the third one.”

andy, forgoing any other kind of conversation - that would only waste time - turns to the politician she’s meeting with. “i’m so sorry, something’s just come up,” she says. “we found another member of our cluster.”

“oh, of course,” says the politician. he smiles at her. “we’ll reschedule, naturally. and- good luck.”

andy thanks him and hightails it out of there. back at the campaign, cj and toby are still staring at each other. toby says, “you’re-” and cj says, “come here,” and grabs his arm to pull him into a broom closet, because you KNOW that was cj’s first reaction.

toby’s still kind of staring at her, because let’s be honest, young allison janney. cj says, “are there any more?”

toby says, “what?”

“in the cluster. have you found any others?”

toby blinks. “yeah, i’ve- yeah. she’s on her way. my girlf- my partner, andy. wait, wait, does that- have YOU found any others?”

cj shakes her head. “not yet. i’m cj, by the way.”

“toby ziegler.”

andy breaks SEVERAL traffic laws but gets to the campaign in a record ten minutes, which by the way are possibly the most awkward ten minutes of both cj and toby’s lives. she makes a beeline for the broom closet and makes instant eye contact with cj, because she is NOT going to lose this connection.

later, cj will think that that’s about when she fell in love.

it’s 1985, and bartlet is elected in 1998, so they still have a ways to go. they eventually fall into a collective relationship, as andy and toby realize that their relationship is never going to be able to return to a pre-cj dynamic. they met her a year after each other, but she’s just as important to the relationship as the two of them are.

cj moves to california eventually, fed up and cynical about the public sector. she takes a job with a media consultation firm, as she does in every world, they’re better at communication in this au. hard to be bad at it when you share a soul, bodies, talents. andy and toby move back to andy’s home state of maryland and andy starts to get closer to her goal of running for congress, while toby just keeps losing campaigns for honest politicians. i’ll say that cj moves to california in 1992, and toby and andy get married in 1993.

it’s a lot easier for you to stay in contact when you’re in a cluster. cj watches tv with toby and andy every night. it’s less of a breakup, in this au, and more of cj saying “i want to go work in california, and we have to be more careful”. she’ll only do romantic things in the psycellium, which is where, say, andy would perceive her if cj was visiting telepathically. no one else can see her, is the point. but she sits on their couch and watches tv with them and heckles toby when he makes dinner and goes to lunches with andy, where she sits on one side of the table and eats while andy makes herself at home in the other chair.

and it’s not great but it WORKS, and it works until jed bartlet calls them all in and cj closes herself off even MORE for the sake of andy’s career and andy and toby’s marriage falls apart. and then we get to their approximate relationships in canon.

toby and andy are divorced and spend a couple of years not speaking, but they’re still CLUSTERMATES and that MEANS something. they still hold to their rule of no blockers when in the same room and, once they start talking again (i think around mid s1), they start talking to each other for comfort and catharsis. oftentimes they’ll argue to get out their frustration with everyone else in their lives. it works.

toby and cj are as non-flirty as cj can manage, which is to say that they’re at canon levels of flirting. i would say it’s PRETTY FLIRTY. they’re keeping their cluster under wraps, and they’re even pretty good at it. senior staff knows because one time they got REALLY drunk during the campaign and had a conversation at normal volume about the boston globe. from opposite ends of a bar. but most of the press doesn’t know, except MAYBE danny, and they do their best to keep it that way. exceptions are at rosslyn and other situations like that.

neither of them generally take blockers, so toby’s attempts at briefing are SLIGHTLY less catastrophic than in canon, since cj can stand next to him and quietly advise. she doesn’t take over his body to do it, though, and they try to limit her advice, since it can get really obvious really quickly. toby takes blockers whenever they hide something from cj.

and cj and andy... are the most romantic of the three, just because cj and toby can get away with flirting and cj KNOWS that toby knows she loves him, but andy has always been better about physical affection - and they generally see each other in the psycellium, anyway. (look, i just want them to KISS.) if marriage equality existed at the time, they’d have probably gotten married and toby would’ve had a Crisis about it, but it didn’t and they don’t. they only very rarely see each other in public, generally at balls and the like, during which they both have to pretend they’re not about to burst out laughing. someone ALWAYS tries to introduce them, assuming they’ve never met before, and it’s worth it for the simultaneous “oh, no, we’ve met.” it’s explained by “cj was toby’s best friend while he was dating andy”, but you and i know the Truth.

okay, and then sam goes to california and meets a spirited young speechwriter and sends him back to the west wing, and he walks into toby’s office first.

toby looks up, meets will’s eyes, and something clicks into place. the last piece of the puzzle. the last member of their cluster. and toby goes, “oh no.”

will says, “uh- can we just. uh.”

“come in,” says toby, sighing and waving a hand. “we’ll handle that later. you have an appointment, right?”

they have their canon conversation, in which toby critiques will’s writing and refuses his help on the inauguration speech, and blah blah blah we get to the end of the episode where they’ve both revealed that they respect each other.

it’s the middle of the night, two days after they met, they’re sitting in the mess hall writing, when will goes, “and the cluster thing?”

“what?” says toby, glancing up. “oh, yeah. there’s two more of us. i’ve gotta introduce you.”

“i went home and looked it up,” says will. “there’s nothing on your cluster anywhere.”

“yeah, well, that’s on purpose,” says toby. “and it’s yours too, now. do you know cj cregg?”

he introduces will to cj the next morning, then gets andy to come into the west wing so she can pass will in the hallway and meet eyes with him. they’re very serious about keeping their cluster under wraps, and it would look REALLY suspicious if toby ziegler’s ex-wife came to the white house to meet the california speechwriter that sam seaborn recommended after two months of casual acquaintance. donna is the only one who notices it, but that’s another story.

the dynamics: toby and will are basically the same as in canon, complete with the s6-7 Rift™. toby isn’t as comfortable with will, hasn’t known him for as long, but they understand each other. they’re both writers. it’s something that andy and cj don’t know, even if they love toby more than will ever will.

as for cj and andy, they basically adopt will as their brother and move on. will and cj can’t be seen getting too cozy, but they talk through problems with each other a lot. andy and will can’t be seen in public together at ALL, but they make it a point to sit with each other in the evenings while they’re doing paperwork or reading or writing. it goes more easily with company, and they want to get to know each other.

and everything’s well and good and happy until toby commits treason. but that’s another story altogether.

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madewithonerib · 3 years

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𝐄𝐧𝐜𝐨𝐮𝐧𝐭𝐞𝐫𝐢𝐧𝐠 𝐆𝐎𝐃 P1| RC Sproul

The BIBLE tells us that the glory of GOD fills the entire earth.

And I don't know how many times I've read that in SCRIPTURE, but every time I've read about the glory of GOD filling the earth —I scratch my head a little bit.

When I look outside, I don't see a whole lot of the glory of GOD.

I see traffic jams, I see bright lights, I see people hustling to & fro caught up in all of the activities of their daily lives just like the busyness that you have to deal with everyday when you go to school.

I don't think that every time you walk in the classroom, you're overwhelmed by a sense of the glory of GOD, are you?

I'm sure not, with my daily experiences.

In fact, in my whole life I can count probably on one hand, maybe two, the number of times that I've had an intense/heavy/profound sense of the presence of GOD.

Now I don't mean to suggest that any experience of the presence of GOD is that rare in my life.

Every time I pray, every time I'm in Church. Just about, I have some sense of the nearness of GOD.

But I'm talking about those special moments—those weighty moments—when you feel the almost palpable sense of the presence of GOD, so overwhelming, so overbearing that you can't ignore it & you become intensely aware of HIS glory.

And of course, one of the most intense moments like that, that I've ever had was when I became a Christian—the night I first met CHRIST.

I was alone in my college dormitory room & on my knees in front of my bed. And of course that moment, more than any other moment in my entire lifetime changed the direction of my life from then & thereafter. [3:53]

But most of us, or many of us at least can pinpoint a general time or place where we first became Christians, though not all of us can be that precise.

1.] Epiphany

But a year after my conversion, I had another experience which was almost as decisive in shaping the direction of my life.

And I want to take a minute or two to tell you about that one.

It happened in the same college, only this time it was a little bit different. I had gone to bed, for the evening, but I could not get to sleep & I tossed & turned & my mind wouldn't shut down.

And finally I had this overwhelming sense that I had to get up out of bed & get out of that dormitory.

And I looked at the clock & it was 10 minutes to 12.

Ten minutes before midnight I got out of bed, I got into my clothes, I put on my coat & I went outside & I had my car parked in the parking lot. Well I didn’t get in the car, I just wanted to walk.

It was a winter night up north, & there was snow on the ground.

The full moon was in the sky.

It was one of those eerie/quiet/still nights.

I just had to walk. I wasn’t exactly sure where I was headed, but I wanted to be by myself & I wanted to think.

I wanted to reflect on some things that had happened to me, earlier that day. So I started toward town & toward the extreme north end of the college campus, where I went to school.

And while I was walking along that sidewalk that night, by myself, & it was unearthly quiet. It was so quiet that the main tower of the college had a bell tower & it rang chimes every hour on the hour.

And just before the chimes would go off, the gears in the bell tower would start to shift & move & get ready to move these huge bells that would chime.

And it was so quiet that night that even though I was quite a distance from the tower, I could hear the gears chiming in the tower.

Then all of a sudden the tower started to clang 12.

And while it was gonging, I walked around the front of the tower to the entrance of the college chapel—which had been built in the 19th century & it was built out of stone.

And the doors of the chapel were these very heavy oak arched doors; & I didn’t know whether the chapel would be open/closed/locked-up for the night, but I just pushed on the door & it opened.

And I walked into the narthex of this...of this chapel & when the door closed you could just hear it clang against the wall & the floor of the stone. And I walked then into the sanctuary.

Now I was in that chapel every day. We would have chapel—required chapel every morning.

1500 students would come into this big building with the stained glass windows & the vaulted ceilings and so on for our chapel.

And it was all busy & noisy; & the students walking back & forth, whispering to each other & so on.

But this time when I walked into the chapel, I was the only person there; & I walked down the center aisle of the sanctuary to the chancel stairs.

And I got on my face, literally, in front of the communion table, & was overwhelmed by the presence of GOD [7:30]

2.] Difference in Encounters

And my experience that night was not the same as my experience of my conversion to CHRIST.

But what happened to me that night that I will never get over was:

That I had this overwhelming experience of the presence of GOD the FATHER. [7:53]

We know that GOD is One in Three.

One BEING in three PERSONS.

But most of our attention in the Christian world focuses on JESUS, on the incarnation of GOD; & we sometimes forget that the purpose —why JESUS came here—was to reveal to us & restore for us our relationship with the FATHER. [8:20]

Well what drove me to the chapel that night was something that happened in the classroom during the day.

3.] Kick-off

I...like as I said, was a sophomore in college & I had been a Christian for one year &...I decided to be a BIBLE major because I wanted to give my life to Christian ministry.

So I signed up to be a BIBLE major, but in my sophomore year I had to take a required course in Introduction to Philosophy.

And I thought that philosophy was the driest, most boring subject that I had ever heard of. [8:49]

In fact, I used to sit in the back of the lecture hall & I hid Billy Graham sermons underneath my notebook, so that when the professor would start to lecture on this dry as dust stuff about philosophy, I entertained myself or enriched myself by reading these sermons from Billy Graham.

And I did that everyday. I just ignored what was going on.

And then this one particular day, at the beginning of winter, the professor was lecturing on a Christian philosopher whose name was Augustine.

He was speaking about Augustine’s view of how the universe had been created initially. [9:32] And virtually against my will, as I am trying to read this sermon & the lecture is going on, my attention was drawn to what was being said in the front of the room.

So I put the notebook aside & I started to listen.

And the professor started talking about what he described as Augustine’s view of the Divine Imperative. Now you know what an imperative is; it’s a command.

It’s an obligation, a requirement; & Augustine, when he was thinking about how all of this universe came into being in the first place & reflecting on the first CH of Genesis.

Where we read: “In the beginning, GOD created the heavens & the earth.”

Augustine said the only description that SCRIPTURE gives as to the how of creation is that it speaks about the power of GOD’s WORD. [10:35]

In the beginning, when the world was without form & void, & darkness was on the face of the deep, the SCRIPTURES say that what changed all of that was a command from the mouth of GOD.

Where GOD said: “Let there be...” & instantly there was.

The lights came on, the darkness receded, the planet, the world, the universe began to teem with all sorts of energy & power & life.

All by the sheer power of a command of GOD. [11:08-11:14]

And I sat there in that classroom, & I started to think about that & I said, “What kind of BEING is so powerful, is so transcendent, is so much greater than anything that I could ever conceive of —that I’ve ever experienced in this world—can bring universes into being by speaking a single word?”

And I remember reading about JESUS in the NT, where by the sound of HIS voice, HE could calm the sea & stop a storm or raise a man from the tomb by calling him out of the grave saying, “Lazarus, come forth!”

The power of that is unleased when GOD speaks, brings things out of nothing & live out of death.

And I said, “That’s..that’s

the character of GOD the FATHER.” [11:52-12:09]

4.] All or Nothing

Now that wasn’t the first time I had...had thought about that because the previous year at the time of my conversion, which I said happened in that same school & in that same room that I had moved out of that night—that when I became a Christian:

I was so turned upside down that I read the BIBLE through in two weeks; & not because I was diligent/disciplined, but it was like I was reading a page-turning novel.

I had never read it before, never been exposed to it before.

I was converted from paganism & I picked-up the first page of the BIBLE & I read that first page, the 2nd page, & I just kept going!

The 2nd & 3rd page. Read Genesis/Exodus/Leviticus/Numbers, the whole way through! [12:56] But I can remember, in the first two weeks of my Christian experience:

Walking up & down the halls of the dormitory at 3 o’clock in the morning, pacing like a caged lion because of what I had been reading in the OT.

Because even though I grew up in the United States of America, & had frequented Churches for social reasons & all the rest.

I had never heard of this GOD that I was reading about in the OT.

● Do you read the OT much? ● Have you encountered the GOD of Israel? ● The GOD who opens up the earth & swallows those who rebel against Moses? [13:26-13:39]

The GOD who sends a flood to inundate the whole world of rebellious people?

The GOD who has the mountain at Sinai shaking with thunder & lightning & saying: “Don’t you come near this. If you touch this mountain, you will die?”

I never heard about that GOD, in the Churches that I had frequented as a youngster. [14:03]

So this was my virgin exposure to the GOD of Israel, these first two weeks; & I was getting at it all at once.

So I would pace up & down like a caged lion & said:

WOW, If I’m going to be a Christian, I’ve got to take this seriously because this GOD plays for keeps [14:14-22]

5.] The Holiness of GOD

Now I didn’t understand the concept that I was wrestling with at the time, but really what was blowing me away in my initial reading of the OT, listening to this lecture about Augustine’s view of creation, was the holiness of GOD. [14:34-45]

It wasn’t the love of GOD, or the mercy of GOD—all of which are wonderful things dealing with HIS sweetness & HIS excellency —but it was HIS transcendent majesty that was coming across.

And I’m saying: [15:03-16]

Wait a minute, I don’t know what this is about! I don’t understand it, I’ve never encountered it. But this is who GOD is.

And I want to know more about a GOD who is that majestic, who is that transcendent.

My professor took me up on a trip to Philadelphia to a seminary, where there were a series of lectures (again in my sophomore year) that were very weighty philosophical things & they were way over my head.

I didn’t know what was going on in these lectures, but I sat still & listened politely; & then after the morning series of lectures we broke to the cafeteria for lunch.

And I happened to be seated across the table from the head of the Philosophy Department of this particular institution; & the first course of our lunch was soup. [15:56-16:08]

We all got our little bowls of soup & I had my little bowl of soup infront of me, & this professor sitting across from me looked up & he said:

“Young man, would you say that GOD is transcendent or imminent?” [16:13-26]

I literally spit the soup out of my mouth, because I didn’t know what the word transcendent meant; & I didn’t know what the word imminent meant either.

But what he was asking me was:

Is GOD transcendent in the sense that HE is high above & beyond the normal sphere of human things that we encounter or is GOD nearby (close at hand) something that we can get our arms around.

Being imminent; & he explained the difference between those two things to me & then pointed out to me that the BIBLICAL GOD is both transcendent & imminent. [16:41-17:10]

6.] Both Transcendent & Imminent

HE is at the one hand above & beyond everything creaturely, & yet in HIS exalted position, HE still visits HIS people.

HE makes HIMSELF present in terms of HIS HOLY SPIRIT, in terms of CHRIST coming to pitch HIS tent among us, & in terms of intruding into our lives right here. [17:32]

And I thought about a passage in the OT, that I want to take a couple of moments to direct your attention to that which took place in the Book of Genesis (in the life of Jacob).

Jacob had left his family & was leaving on this journey to pursue a wife & he was travelling in the middle of the desert, & we are told that at the end of the day when darkness fell, that’s when he decided to set camp [18:04]

They didn’t have Holiday Inns on every corner, that you would travel as far as your could until nightfall & after it became dark it was too dangerous to travel after that because marauders & robbers & wild animals, and so on.

So wherever you were in the desert, you’d just lie down & go to bed.

So that’s what Jacob did, he took a rock & he used that as his pillow, & went to sleep there in the middle of the desert. [18:31]

Then the SCRIPTURES tells us that this deep sleep came upon him.

And in his sleep, GOD gave him this vision of a ladder that stretched from the earth to the heavens. [18:38-44]

And he saw angels ascending & descending on this ladder.

Remember that story of Jacob’s ladder?

JESUS makes reference to it in the NT when Nathaniel meets JESUS for the first time & JESUS sees Nathaniel coming & HE looks at him & HE says:

Behold, an Israelite in whom there is no deceit or guile.

Nathaniel said, “Wait, a minute how do YOU know anything me? I’ve never met you before.” [19:08-14] And it’s like JESUS said:

“If that really shocks you, you haven’t seen anything yet. The day will come when you’re going to see the angels of GOD ascending & descending on the SON of MAN.”

Stop for a second & think about that.

JESUS says to Nathaniel...HE’s saying: “Hey Nathaniel, You read that story in the OT about Jacob where Jacob had this ladder that bridged the gap between heaven & earth; between the transcendent realm—the holy place of GOD—& this place here of dirt & of dust.

That we don’t seem to be able to make a connection between heaven & earth?” HE said, “I am that ladder.” [19:34-19:58]

I am the bridge between heaven & earth.

This is what JESUS was saying.

7.] Prophetic Connection For Our Lives

Well in the meantime back there on the desert floor, there is Jacob trying to figure this out & he has this vision in the night..

And in the vision, we read this:

Behold, the LORD stood above this ladder & HE said, “I am the LORD GOD of Abraham your father & the GOD of Isaac. The land on which you lie I will give to you & to your descendants. [20:13-20:29]

Also your descendants shall be as the dust of the earth, & you shall spread abroad to the west, the east, to the north, & the south.

And in you & in your seed all the families of the earth shall be blessed.

Now listen to this, what HE says:

GOD says to Jacob, “Behold I am with you & I will keep you wherever you go. I will bring you back to this land, & I will not leave you until I have done what I have spoken to you.”

I don't know about you, but there's lots of times in my life when I do not feel like GOD is with me. I just don't...it doesn't feel that way; it feels like HE's far away. [21:04-21:20]

Sometimes I think HE's abandoned me or that there's something wrong with me. [21:25]

8.] Case in Point

I remember one time preaching in a Church, where the minister was in the hospital across the street from the Church.

He had been the pastor of this Church for 30 years, & now he was on his deathbed across the street fighting for his life, & the elders had called me & asked me if I would come to that Church & fill the pulpit for this pastor.

And they also said that this particular Sunday, they were celebrating Holy Communion & would I administer the sacrament & preach? I said yes.

All week long I worked on my sermon because I realized that the people in the Church were in a state of crisis.

Their leader had fallen, their leader was about to die.

The person that they looked to for their spiritual guidance was sick unto death. [22:14]

And I wanted desperately to minister to them.

To give them an unforgettable sermon & to make the sacrament as meaningful as I could possibly make it.

And so Sunday morning came & the people gathered there; & I gave my sermon. And I led them in the LORD's Supper; & I have to tell you I cannot remember a single time in my whole life where I was more acutely aware of the absence of GOD than that. [22:44]

I no more felt like preaching than flying; & everything was flat to me.

It just wasn't cutting it.

In fact, when I was finished, I wanted to find a hole in the ground, where I could jump into it & pull it in after me.

The last thing I wanted to do at the end of the service was go to the back of the Church, & shake these people's hands because I had this overwhelming sense that I had completely let them down. [23:07]

And the weirdest thing!

I get to the back of the Church & I'm shaking their hands, & one person after another walks past me looking like zombies:

Their eyes were glazed, they had this strange look on their face; & they would grip my hand & they would say, "Thank you!"

And one after another told me how overwhelmed they had been that morning, by the sense of the presence of GOD.

Take Away

And I walked out of there & I thought, "WOW. Everybody else in this place felt the presence of GOD, but me."

Two things:

From that day forward I said,

“I'm never in the rest of my life going to depend & rely upon my feelings!! [24:04]

To determine whether GOD was present.

Rather I'm going to trust that GOD says HE will be with us, HE says HE will be with me, HE promises HE'll be there when I need HIM, even if it's in the valley of the shadow of death.

And it doesn't matter if I feel HIM."

In other words, I said:

I'm not going to be a sensuous Christian anymore. But I'm going to trust that the LORD GOD, when HE makes a promise like that, that HE will not leave me or forsake me & that HE means what HE says; & that HE will keep HIS WORD. [24:38]

And the other thing, I thought of exactly what happened in this text with Jacob:

Listen to what happens in v.16, "Then Jacob awoke from his sleep & he said, 'Surely the LORD was in this place & I knew it not." [24:46-25:07]

Then he said: how awesome is this place.

Q1: Have you ever walked into a Church, a cathedral perhaps where as soon as you walked across the threshold that you sensed what I sensed that night—in that chapel?

On that wintery night where you were making a transition from the common to the uncommon. That you were walking over a threshold from the secular to the holy; from the profane to the sacred;

where you know...you walked inside & you had the ceiling & the stone & the stained glass windows, & you had that eerie sense of transcendence? [25:53]

Have you ever experienced that? Where nobody had to tell you to adopt an attitude of reverence?

You know intuitively that reverence is the only appropriate response. [26:03-10]

That’s what Jacob said:

"How awesome is this place!" He named it Bethel, the House of GOD. [26:22] The place where HE met a holy GOD; & he said, “I was afraid.” [26:31]

That's one of the things we're going to look at in our series here.

What it is about the majesty of GOD that provokes terror & fear; & why it is that in our day, we seem to have lost our capacity to tremble before GOD.

But if you look at the SCRIPTURES, every account of every person who ever meets the living GOD, that person trembles before HIM. [27:03]

Quiet Time:

Man1: The car is like the easiest place for me to...to have a quiet time because there's seven people in my family, so...it's hard to get alone. [27:24]

Usually quiet time is I just...uh...things are running through my head, what happened through the day. Umm...you know, people that I've talked to a lot & so that kind of stuff is always running through my head. Very, very rarely do I ever get to...do I feel a certain kind of peace, where I can pray & not have anything else running through my head. [27:42]

Woman: Rarely, I would say: I do sometimes get a chance to have ..to have quiet. I think...I guess...total quiet sort of worries me a little bit. [27:52]

HOLY PLACES:

Man1: Yeah, anytime I go to the Church, it jsut...I mean I know GOD is everywhere, but at the same time you just kind of get this feeling like...it's easier to be with GOD when you're at Church, I guess. I don't know. [28:11]

Woman: I guess outside the cathedral is just, you know, normal. You're walking around & traveling & I just remember going inside & for some reason, whatever the reason was, I wasn't expecting too much & I...just walked inside & I stood & I looked up at the arches & the stained glass & it was just...it was awesome. I remember thinking that if Heaven is anything like this, it's just going to be incredible. [28:37]

FEMALE_2: I feel like when I go, especially to like the beach or like if I go out at night especially. Like..sit out in the grass or something & look at the stars, or like just driving & you know being in the darkness, I really feel GOD is there. And there's like a holiness to it because like it's GOD's creation. It's not like something that's manmade, it's like raw, you know, & umm & pure. I really feel like in touch with GOD in places like that. [29:16]

FEMALE_3: And I get so much out of just going & looking up at the stars you know? Like my friends all think that I'm weird because...I, you know, I'll just like lay in the middle of the road & just look at the stars. And...umm, you know, just going to the mountains & looking out over the, you know, over the sea. It's just so amazing that GOD created all of that; & that HE put us on this earth to be able to see that. And I see things outside of Church as very holy. [29:46]

FEMALE_4: There are definitely holy places, you know, that just take your, you're in awe because you can feel something there. But I think anything where GOD is can be holy. And GOD is everywhere, so I don't know if that makes sense or not, but...[30:04]

Encountering GOD:

Man1: I would probably choose Saul for now, afterwards was Paul. He, when he was converted on the road, he was totally against GOD at that point, & he was a warrior or he was against CHRIST, & he was out to get HIM...& anybody who was preaching HIM; then all of a sudden, just out of the blue, CHRIST you know says: "Why are you persecuting ME? And that just...I can't imagine what it would be like to be like Paul who was totally an enemy of CHRIST, then all of a sudden know that you've been wrong the whole time & that CHRIST actually is the SON of GOD. And that just kind of puts me in awe, in a way because I wouldn't know how to deal with that & it's amazing how he kind of deals with that also. [30:46]

Man2: I think it's all tied in with GOD's perfection. GOD is perfect in HIS knowledge, & that's great, but you know: How does that make you feel when you meet GOD knowing HE's perfect in HIS knowledge & that means that HE knows you! HE knows every bit of you, every part of you, everything you've done. And I think that Moses when he was confronted with GOD is like being exposed. And that's...that's very frightening. [31:15]

Fear & Trembling P1,2,3,4,5,6

Fear & Trembling: Encountering GOD P1 ligonier.org/learn/series/fear-and-trembling/encountering-god/

Fear & Trembling: Holy Holy Holy P2 ligonier.org/learn/series/fear-and-trembling/holy-holy-holy/

Fear & Trembling: Inner Sanctum P3 ligonier.org/learn/series/fear-and-trembling/inner-sanctum/

Fear & Trembling: What Manner of Man Is This P4 ligonier.org/learn/series/fear-and-trembling/what-manner-of-man-is-this/

Fear & Trembling: Cosmic Treason P5 ligonier.org/learn/series/fear-and-trembling/cosmic-treason-3393

Fear & Trembling P6 ligonier.org/learn/series/fear-and-trembling/fear-and-trembling

#spit the soup out #character of GOD #meets the living GOD #Fear and Trembling #Encountering GOD #𝐄𝐧𝐜𝐨𝐮𝐧𝐭𝐞𝐫𝐢𝐧𝐠 𝐆𝐎𝐃

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bopinion · 3 years

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2020 / 51

Aperçu of the week:

I'm not crazy, my reality is just different than yours (Lewis Carroll / Alice in Wonderland).

Bad news of the week:

Today, Germany's federal and state governments decided to switch from the 'lockdown light' that has been in place since November 01 to a hard lockdown. In addition to gastronomy, leisure and culture, now retail, schools and kindergartens will also close from next Wednesday until January 10, 2021, and outdoor restrictions will be tightened to real curfews.

In principle, this makes sense, because two criteria are reaching their limits: the capacities in the health sector, especially intensive care beds in hospitals, and the health offices can no longer track the contacts of infected people. The increase in the numbers of infected, seriously ill and dead could hardly be slowed down, let alone reduced, with the measures taken so far.

Unfortunately, this shows once again the powerlessness of politics in the face of the renitence of large parts of the population. I do not mean the annoying and constantly growing group of corona deniers, vaccination opponents and conspiracy theorists. But those who believe in principle in the sense of the restrictions and wear their masks in the supermarket, but find the restriction of personal contacts somewhat exaggerated. And therefore gladly times an eye to squeeze, if the 50th birthday of the good friend is lining up, each Thursday at John's place poker is played and watching soccer alone is boring. That reminds me strongly of wrong parking and speeding: one is aware of the prohibition, but allows oneself a certain freedom in the interpretation of the rules. Besides, most of the time it goes well, you get a ticket maybe every twentieth time. So it can't be all that bad.

Fiddlesticks! Scientists agree that neither schools nor retail stores are major infection drivers. And that in addition to clusters in nursing homes, for example, which can be easily traced, it is above all the contacts in private life, which are still hardly reduced and which can just hardly be traced, that contribute to the spread - the so-called "diffuse infection incidence". However, this can hardly be sanctioned, because neither the manpower of the forces of law and order, nor our legal system (the constitution defines the "fundamental right of inviolability of the home") are suitable tools for an effective prevention of these breaches of law. And the people know this very well.

It is quite simple: if a society does not "function" on the basis of regimentation by an authoritarian leadership, as in China, for example, it is dependent on a solid value system of self-responsibility and solidarity on the part of its free citizens. Unfortunately, however, this apparently remains theory, because it is hardly lived out in practice. Therefore, policymakers are forced to take a multitude of small but implementable measures and hope that the sum will achieve a sufficient effect, because the one truly meaningful and efficient measure is simply not implementable. Unfortunately, however, it is precisely these small measures that cost society dearly: from the financial rescue of the small boutique or the self-employed trade fair builder to the long-term psychological consequences for the youngest children, who can no longer go to kindergarten but are parked in front of the television by their mothers working in parallel in their home offices. Restricting social contacts, on the other hand, would be free of charge. Many thanks to all the inconsiderate egoists out there!

Good news of the week:

The six months of the German presidency of the Council of the European Union are drawing to a close. Expectations were originally quite high, with the team of German Chancellor Angela Merkel and EU Commission President Ursula von der Leyen promising a high degree of pragmatism and constructiveness. But then Corona came along and the agenda was completely overturned.

At the end of the week was the last EU summit of the heads of government of this half-year. And hardly anyone expected any significant progress to be made on any other issues besides the pandemic, such as quarantine rules, vaccine licensing or commuter border traffic. And then there was a remarkable press conference after the final 22-hour marathon negotiation. With results. And what results. Here are my personal highlights:

The distribution of EU funds for regional support, in this case specifically agriculture in Hungary and infrastructure projects in Poland, will be linked to compliance with a defined rule-of-law framework. Specifically, freedom of expression for the media in Hungary and independence of the judiciary in Poland. For this reason, these two countries had threatened with a general veto - unfortunately, unanimity is the rule in the EU when it comes to really important issues. And now they actually agreed to it.

Then came the adoption of the EU budget. As this is valid for seven years, it has always been a challenge with many national sensitivities for the small print on page 2,411. This time all the more important, as the budget contains trillions in reconstruction aid for the countries most affected by Corona. A done deal sometime during the night.

And last but not least, the tightening of climate targets. Now, by 2030 - that is, in the usual timeframe for such mammoth projects: by the day after tomorrow - greenhouse gas emissions are to be reduced by 55% rather than 40% compared with 1990. A sporting, but necessary goal. Combined with a variety of green factors such as closing coal-fired power plants, insulating homes, more sustainable agriculture, protecting biodiversity, more humane livestock farming or expanding electromobility while promoting hydrogen drives. Adopted together.

Of course, one can always wish for more. And especially in environmental protection, too little is always done too late. But for me, the decisions taken at the end of this EU summit show one thing above all: cooperation works. And it makes sense. For everyone involved. An important sign, especially in times of increasing isolationism and unilateralism.

P.S.: Oh yes, there is still no agreement on the manifold regulations for the post-Brexit era. But that's not news, that's a farce.

Sense of achievement of the week:

The other day we watched "The Queen's Gambit" on Netflix. A remarkable series about the development of a child prodigy into a chess grandmaster, brilliantly starring Anya Taylor-Joy. Yes, a mini-series about chess can indeed be entertaining and exciting. Vaguely, I remembered that we must have a chess set - somewhere. It finally turned up and last week I, who had practically never played before and just knows the basic rules, won my first two games. Well, one of them against my 12-year-old son, but he was in the school's chess club last year, after all. Deservedly an evergreen and truly the game of kings!

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