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animeyanderelover · 6 months

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Tsukinami brothers and Cordelia Sakamaki fell in love with a human maid girl. ♥

I love your blog and youu <3

Let's be real, none of them would make good lovers.

Tw: Yandere themes, toxic relationship, power imbalance, possessive behavior, obsession, delusional thoughts, abuse, clinginess, mocking, humiliation, bullying, sadism, isolation, abduction

Human maid

Cordelia Sakamaki

🟣As the only human in the Sakamaki estate, you have hell waiting for you since you're constantly either bullied, ignored or disrespected. Even some of the children there treat you rudely but you can't do anything against it. Cordelia is by far the scariest of all of them though as you notice that even the other vampire mothers are afraid of her. You fully understand why as you have been the one to receive her wrath and discontent. So you learn to keep your head low, never speak up against her and silently take everything if she lashes out on you. You make it your job to observe her and know what she wants without realizing that it is this very submissive dedication that manages to catch her eyes. It's been a while since she has had someone paying that much attention to her and listening to her every demand as at one point you can tell what she wants from you without actually having to talk to you. She still sees you as a pathetic, little thing but your effort to please her flatters her as you slowly upgrade to her pathetic yet adorable thing.

🟣And just like that you become her own personal maid who she expects to cater to her every need. Bellatrix and Christa start avoiding you out of fear to be bullied by Cordelia and if you even do as much as offer anyone else in the mansion your service, Cordelia punishes you. She's verbally and physically very abusive if you shouldn't act like she wants you to. You have scars and bruises all over your skin on such days, dizzy from the amount of blood she consumed painfully from you. She always says cruelly in such moments that you should be glad that she even pays attention to you at all and could easily kill you if she wanted to. Behave! Behave like a mellow and obedient doll and you won't get the worst of her. Follow her always around with your head bowed, only listen to her and she'll be a bit better. Sit perfectly still when she dolls you up with dresses, make-up and jewels as she tells you in a sweeter tone that you need to look presentable when you are with her and don't flinch when her fingers caress the lines of your face gently. Be perfect for her.

Carla Tsukinami

🔮Carla barely acknowledges you at first but you prefer that over Shin's taunting behavior. As long as you do your job, Carla doesn't care for your presence a lot. You don't even know what it is that eventually causes his golden eyes to be more drawn to you yet you notice it almost instantly. How his piercing orbs scrutinize your every move all of a sudden as you act as submissive and loyal as you are supposed to as a maid. It scares you but when he one day saves you from Shin who was just about to suck your blood again, you're too grateful to think much about it at first. From that day on he lets you spend a lot more time with him in his office where Shin isn't really allowed. He graciously takes care of your wounds as he bandages them and rubs ointment on all scars and open wounds. You're still grateful and thank him multiple times for his kindness to help you, although when you look up you can't help but shiver whilst looking into his eyes who seemingly drill into your soul as he takes in your form, your scent, those innocent and anxious eyes looking into his own.

🔮Suddenly you aren't allowed to leave his chambers anymore and whilst you initially assume that he just doesn't want you to run into Shin again, the possessive and hungry light in his eyes tells you another story. His presence all of a sudden dangerous and suffocating as he tells you once to head back into his room and you do as he tells you, your body so terrified that it's moving on his own. You are safe from Shin from now on but you have gone from one hell into another hell as you soon come to realize. You're punished for the slightest sign of disrespect as Carla doesn't tolerate any sign of rebellious attitude and so you spend days without food and water in a cold cell, chained to the wall and at the mercy of whatever Carla has in store for you. It's such a stark contrast to when you're instead cuddled up in his arms in his private chambers and he shares his knowledge of the world in a low tone with you. You fear the Carla who hurts you and acts so coldly towards you and do your best to please him so that you only see the gentler side of him. Slowly but surely, you break for him. And that is exactly Carla's plan.

Shin Tsukinami

🐺Shin makes his disrespect for you blatant as he sees you as little more than a plaything when you first arrive. You're a human after all, know your place. He doesn't let you do your tasks properly as he ruins your work for you. He pushes you around, bullies you, abuses you sexually, scares you and gives you a bright grin when he sees you breaking down in tears before he suddenly grabs your arm and yanks you up, demanding you to clean the mess he just created and prepare something for him. There is never a day where he doesn't give you a break as he is delighted to see your tears, although he also appreciates a bit of sass since it'll make it only more amusing to break you. He is a living nightmare and it is highly likely that you won't even notice that he has developed something for you because he acts exactly the same. He still sees you as a lesser being and you always will be. In fact he seems to be even more persistent now and you initially assume he just wants to torment you more.

🐺Until one day, he stops. He stops abusing you as badly. Sure, he is still acting like the worst dick you've ever met but there isn't as much abuse anymore. Instead he's clingy and whiny as he yanks you away from your tasks and insists that you spend more time with him. Then the next morning, he's acting like you expect him to act. He suddenly switches back and forth between clingy and entitled to sadistic and psychopathic. You can not predict him anymore as he can seemingly switch from one mood to another within a single second and it makes you paranoid beyond belief. He's unpredictable so you can't even adapt your behavior in hopes of never eliciting his bad side out of him because your own behavior never dictates his actions. It's his own mood and what he is feeling at the moment and you can not influence that. You are adorable like this though as you constantly walk on eggshells around him. You flinch when he wraps his arms around you from behind, his hot breath fanning your neck as you can only wait if he'll bite you painfully or instead just place a kiss on your neck.

#yandere diabolik lovers #yandere cordelia #yandere cordelia sakamaki #yandere carla #yandere carla tsukinami #yandere shin #yandere shin tsukinami

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oh-mydarling · 10 months

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𝐖𝐨𝐞 𝐢𝐬 𝐓𝐡𝐫𝐞𝐞

✿°•∘ɷ∘•°✿ ... ✿°•∘ɷ∘•°✿ ... ✿°•∘ɷ∘•°✿

word count: 2.2K

warnings: talk of medication, light angst

The ticking of the clock was really the only thing you could focus on in the room, the only sound that broke through the fog of your nausea and rattled inside your skull, making your head pound ever so slightly.

Cordelia was at the front of the room, teaching her students and keeping a very keen eye on you; something was different. You were usually a perfect student, especially when you hung on her every word. Today, though, you seemed preoccupied.

When the class finished the only thing that notified you was the shuffling of your fellow students as they gathered their things and moved out of the room. Cordelia was stuck in place, preparing to teach another class straight after, so when you failed to hear her calling after you she sighed, vowing to catch up with you later in the day.

The next time you saw the supreme was at lunch, when you sat by her side avoiding eye contact, giving her the explanation that you were just tired and couldn’t wait to have a nice bath and go to bed tonight; that had led her off the scent for now.

When dusk fell, you were out in the greenhouse tending to your personal collection of plants. Although it was typically Cordelia’s domain, you had your own little corner to nourish while she pottered around in there. It had started as just an excuse to keep her company, but you found that the greenhouse brought you immense peace, especially when you weren’t feeling yourself.

Cordelia was in the kitchen, brewing herself a cup of tea to take back up to her office while she finished off some paper work for the day, when the door opened and the familiar sound of heels clicking down the hardwood floor echoed closer and closer to her.

Billie rounded the corner, huffing with the weight of the day, although her chest felt lighter when her eyes fell upon her wife waiting at the counter with shy eyes and a soft smile. “Hello, darling,” the medium greeted her, coming over to press a soft kiss to her lips and stroke her back, “how was your day?”

“Oh, the usual, broke up a fight, had to undo a spell,”

Billie chuckled, that kind of deep laugh that bloomed in your chest and spread like fire.

“Sounds eventful!” She retorted.

Cordelia hummed, stirring her tea while Billie kicked off her heels and padded over to the fridge to retrieve some red wine to dilute her stressed.

“Something’s up with y/n” Cordelia spoke into the silence, causing Billie to turn around, furrowing her brow, “how so?”

“She was distracted in class, barely stayed awake, didn’t eat a lot at lunch,” the supreme continued, listening her causes for concern.

Billie sighed, walking back over to her wife so they stood side by side, “I’m sure there’s a reasonable explanation, Delia, she’s probably tired.”

“That’s what she said,” Cordelia explained, clearly not convinced.

“Well there you go, darling, don’t worry,” Billie spoke softly, brushing Delia’s hair over the back of her shoulder before taking a long sip of her wine.

The two blondes sat down at the kitchen table to share a quiet moment before dinner, exchanging kisses and sipping their drinks while they caught up on their separate days. It wasn’t long before you had wandered in, not really enjoying the greenhouse when it got dark.

You entered into the kitchen and Billie grinned warmly, “hello baby girl, come here,” she gestured her hands, beckoning you to sit on her lap. You did so without word, nuzzling into her neck and closing your eyes. This little catch up was somewhat a routine between the three of you and you never felt more at ease than when the three of you were back together, even when you were struggling internally.

Delia reached over to rub your knee, “you doing okay, love?” To which you replied with a soft nod and smile, yawning to back up your story; you were just tired, that’s all.

—————-

It was a few days later, a rainy summer Sunday, and you and Billie were curled up in the library. You were reading a novel, of course, and Billie was reading over a script for an upcoming episode of her TV show, highlighter in hand and the cap between her teeth, her brows furrowed in concentration.

The soft rainfall enveloped you in the room, providing a sense of warmth despite the storm developing outside.

A storm was also brewing within the coven, the rainfall of the outside world being mirrored by Cordelia’s slippers hammering down the stairs as she flew into the library, brow furrowed in anger as she stared at you with a hostility that you hadn’t ever seen directed at you before.

You sat upright, unnerved by the nervous magic that bounced around the room, making your hairs stand on end. Billie had also put down her script, asking Cordelia what on earth was going on, but she couldn’t break through the tunnel that you and the supreme were trapped in, a silent confrontation that had you trembling with unease.

“I was just cleaning the bathroom” she said with a cool tone, anger replaced with disgust, or as far as you could perceive.

“What the hell is this?” She threw the box into your lap, with an anger that dissipated into betrayal, eyes welling with tears when she saw you close your eyes and sigh; she was right, they were yours.

Billie sat next to you, still confused, “Can someone fill me in please?”

No, you couldn’t. The words could not leave your mouth and you were hoping that Cordelia would do that for you.

“Do you need time to get your story straight?” Cordelia asked, dripping with venomous sarcasm.

When you stared at her blankly she scoffed, turning directly to the medium.

“They’re fucking antidepressants, Billie Dean. And they’re hers.”

The supreme turned on her heels and stormed out of the room, slamming the door behind her. You could hear her steps echo upward and across the hallway into her office, a second slam to signal her enclosure into her own space; she clearly needed it right now.

You and Billie were left behind in the room, equally dumbfounded. Billie looked at you hopelessly, waiting for a response, an explanation, anything, but you couldn’t bring yourself to articulate the words.

When you met her sad eyes you couldn’t help but crumble, tears flowing freely as you sobbed silently, frozen in place. She pulled you into her chest and your fist wrapped around the silk of her blouse while her manicured hand came to your back, rubbing soothing circles and whispering softly to you.

“It’s okay, baby, I’m not mad, I’ve got you.” She rocked you slightly, soothing you enough to dull the ache caused by Cordelia’s abrupt departure.

The thick silence of your secret and its consequences fell upon you, forming a pit in your stomach; this moment would extend into the next days, weeks, months of your life, and you found yourself sick with dread at how you would face it.

Billie held you as the sobbing slowed to a steady stream of tears, draining you from the inside out, until you had fallen asleep curled up on her lap, tears still leaking from your tired body. Billie was fighting her own tears, mind roaring with the thought of you suffering so silently, not feeling like you could lean on them, god it broke her.

In her office, Cordelia sat at her desk, head in her hands. She had memorised the name on the foil packet and had done her research; its reason for prescription, side effects, dosage; you name it. Now, the reality lay on her shoulders like a weighted blanket.

That reality was poisoned with guilt; you were clearly hurting, and she had flown off the handle. Thank god for Billie Dean. She always handled her emotions better. Cordelia felt things so deeply.

The medium had contemplated going to find the supreme so they could talk things through while you slept, but the thought of you waking up alone deterred her completely. For that reason, she was relieved when a coy Delia poked her head around the door, tiptoeing over once she saw you asleep.

“Hi,” she whispered, giving Billie a gentle smile.

The medium smiled in response, looking back down to you as she stroked the top of your head, a subconscious check that you were okay.

Cordelia sat down on the floor in front of you both, bringing her knees up to her chest, “I’m sorry,”

“I know, darling, but it’s not me who needs those words.”

Delia nodded; she did know, but part of her was relieved that you were asleep and she didn’t have to say them just yet.

She felt awful for how she had reacted, the self-loathing growing on her ribs like moss, but there was also a red tint of anger. You had hidden this from them, and she couldn’t help but feel so hurt.

“I told you something was up with her,” she sighed, looking pointedly at Billie.

“I know, you were right, but that’s not important any more, Delia. What’s important is the three of us dealing with this together.” Delia nodded, shifting nervously when she saw you start to stir.

Both women went quiet, waiting for you to wake up with bated breath. When you did open your eyes, you were met with the supreme staring at you worriedly, and tears immediately sprung from your tired eyes, causing her to hush you, scooting forward on the floor so she could stroke your hair.

“I’m so sorry, honey. That was out of order,” she whispered. She thought it might have been hard to apologise, but the moment she met your eyes she wanted nothing more than to resolve things and hold you close.

“I’m sorry I hid it,” you mumbled, sitting up slowly against Billie’s chest. She pressed a kiss to the crown of your head, staying quiet for a moment so you could speak with your other girlfriend.

“ I understand, honey. I get why you did it. But can we make a promise to be honest with each other from now on, hm?” She prompted gently, stroking her hand over the apple of your cheek.

“Yeah, I promise,” you mumbled, lunging forward to pull her into a hug, crying softly into her shoulder.

The two women shared a look of comfort, smiling softly as you sought comfort in your supreme.

Delia moved to stand up, prompting you to sit back against Billie’s chest so she could come and sit next to you.

The supreme rested a hand on your leg while Billie wrapped her arms around you, keeping you secure against her while she pressed kisses to the side of your head.

“Darling, we don’t have to talk about it just yet, but can I know how long you’ve been taking them?” Cordelia asked, giving you a reassuring smile.

“A week or so,” you mumbled, “the side effects are still bad.”

Cordelia nodded knowingly, it now becoming clear that the side effects were what had caused you to be so offish in the last few days.

“What are the side effects, honey?” Billie asked, squeezing you tighter. You listed them one by one, your girlfriends growing sadder with each one.

“I’m proud of you for getting help that you needed, but please don’t ever hide this from us again.” Cordelia scolded gently, making sure you knew they wanted nothing but to be there for you.

You nodded in agreement, feeling guilty at the whole ordeal, and you hoped that now the conversation would be dropped.

Not so fast, though. “How can we help you angel?” You shrugged, honestly not really sure; you couldn’t even figure out how to help yourself, let alone what you needed from them.

“Please don’t get mad at me anymore.”

You were angry with yourself for needing this in the first place, and the thought of your girlfriends being mad at you too made your stomach churn.

Cordelia smiled apologetically, “never ever, honey. I’m so sorry.”

“Why don’t we drop this for now and go and have a nap? I know I could do with it!” Billie suggested from behind you, and you agreed, being pulled up to your feet by Cordelia who led you upstairs, Billie in tow.

In the bedroom, you stripped down, choosing pyjamas from Billie’s drawer over your own. The other two stripped down to their underwear, already throwing back the covers as you headed back towards the bed.

“Come here, baby girl,” Billie coaxed, pulling you to lay your head on her chest as you curled into her side, Cordelia behind you holding you in place between them.

“Let’s shelve this until tomorrow, hm?” The medium suggested, with Cordelia humming in agreement.

There was still an unspoken tension that crackled in the air above you, but with each breath you took nuzzled between them, the tension slowly unraveled; things were uncertain, but what you knew for sure was their commitment to you and your relationship. Everything would be okay as long as they were by your side.

#Cordelia goode #Cordelia Goode x reader #billie dean howard #billie dean howard x reader #cordelia Goode x billie dean howard #Cordelia Foxx #ahs #ahs coven #ahs murder house #Sarah paulson #American horror story #Sarah paulson x reader #Cordelia

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thecarnivorousmuffinmeta · 5 months

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why don't you like buffy seasons 4 and 7?

The Statement

Anon's actually referring to an offhand comment @therealvinelle made in this post.

And actually not what they said. She noted she has problems with both, but season 4 was still very well written, and season 7 was the one that was less so.

As we tend to agree on these things I can clarify that they're far from bad I've seen shows where any season, their best seasons, are still worse than those seasons of Buffy by far. I was able to watch through all seasons and have done so multiple times, there's many shows I can't and don't finish.

But they're not as good as the rest of the show in my opinion and season 7 especially so. Season 7, unlike the others, actually was hard to finish and kind of just... was there.

Why No Season 4?

Season 4 is very much written like a season that's finding its footing and trying to navigate how to coexist with the spinoff show that had just started, Angel.

And a lot of the problems start and end with Angel.

Angel has a bad habit of taking fan favorite characters from the Buffy cast that they feel Buffy can survive without. We suddenly lose Wesley, Cordelia especially, later Spike and Harmony, and Angel himself. The thing is that Cordelia is a real loss in that she's a very big part of the supporting cast, she gets a lot of the funny lines, a lot of the Scooby but not quite interactions. The show makes up for it for soon introducing Anya as her powerless human self, who takes up a similar role for a while, but it then has to introduce her character and a similar love interest arc with Xander.

We also get the Angel Easter Egg episodes where he either makes silly cameos (showing up for an episode only to never do anything and just be referenced all the time while the B plot rages) or we get episodes where "wow, you should have watched Angel last night, it was super important and things happened, and it was important, but we're not making the show self-contained". The season, because it is well-written, does work with it but it's not great.

Then we have the more major problem in that a lot of the story arcs, settings, and everything else they'd depended on went away the previous season. Cordelia's gone so Xander has no more love interest in her or in Willow who's still dealing with the Oz fallout, there's no Oz (though I should note I do not like Oz) which means that the Willow Oz thing is done, Angel's now gone for realz which means Buffy's will they won't they thing with him is now a won't and they have to offically replace the love interest even though they clearly don't want to, Giles has to be involved somehow but he can't hang around the school all the time when the kids aren't there.

So, we have a season where no one's really sure what to do with themselves. We get Buffy together with Riley, Willow has a very messy grief over Oz and then gets together with Tara entirely off screen, Xander is now with Anya, Giles is around.

Now, all of these are good plot threads, I do actually enjoy the growth of characters in season 4, but the problem is that because of all of the above it's kind of all over the place. Combined with filler of Buffy wanting beer in an episode, it's just a giant mess of Oz coming back, then not coming back, Willow's exciting gay offscreen love interest, and even more Xander relationship problems.

It's watchable because it's all very well written, some of the best lines come from season 4, but it's a mess.

And then we get the Initiative, which as a big mystery of the season is just... bad. It's just bad. Yes, Spike is a gem in the season and the chip is a great plot device, but the Initiative itself is not very interesting, our first big bad of Maggie is eaten almost immediately, then we barely see Adam and when we do... He's really boring.

I will say that there are individual parts of other seasons I like much less than season 4 but it's a mess of a season.

Why No Season 7?

Now this season really didn't know what to do with itself.

Narratively, the show should have ended at season 5. It was a great conclusion, everything was pretty much wrapped up, and we had our death for Buffy. However, it didn't end.

Now, I say this loving season 6. Season 6 is a great season with some of the best writing in the series, horrible and extremely dark, but very good.

But it's hard to go anywhere after it because the big bads of season 6 were the characters themselves. It was Buffy entering this toxic relationship, Willow's road down addiction and power, Tara having to leave, Giles having to leave, Anya and Xander falling apart, it's all about the gang and the villains are just three losers who 2/3 are just misunderstood weebs who don't quite realize what they're doing.

So, we get done with that, learn that we ourselves can be just as bad as any villain, and then we get a lot of lore and a lot of characters I just hate. We get all the Slayers being watched, we get a love interest slammed in Willow's face so that you don't think that her bisexuality was just a season long, and Kennedy is the worst, god she is the worst. We get the First Evil, while admittedly is intangible and has to manipulate others, but to make up for that we have uber vampires and uh Nathan Fillian as an evil priest guy who never really gets explained or dealt with. Angel's crammed back in, once again, in case you started shipping Spuffy too much over the past few seasons in another kind of ridiculous cameo to literally hand Buffy the deus ex machina MacGuffin which will sacrifice Spike so that he can go to his new show.

Spike and Anya just sort of die just so they can kill somebody.

And the whole thing's just messily written in trying to introduce many new characters while wrapping things up with the old cast, new love interests all over the place, and trying to recover from season 6 so that these characters can work with each other again.

I easily put season 7 as my least favorite season.

#buffy the vampire slayer #buffy the vampire slayer meta #meta #opinion

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canonmisogynyvictimstournament · 9 months

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PROPAGANDA

JIANG YANLI (MO DAO ZU SHI)

1.) (note about the name first, she's chinese so its jiang yanli, family name jiang) (also this is specifically about the novel, not any of its adaptations and specifically not the untamed. they all have their issues too but are a lot better)

she's the main character, wei wuxian's sister who he loves dearly, but is barely a presence in the story. at first she basically just exists to create drama between wei wuxian and her fiancé jin zixuan. then when she and jin zixuan get married and have a kid, she has seemingly become obsolete and just gets teleported to a battlefield she has no business being at to die tragically and create drama between wei wuxian and their brother, and later wei wuxian and her son. she's barely even around, she just gets talked about and fought over by all the actual important people (the men in her life). no attention is payed to her interiotity, she doesn't get to react to all the plot points even when they affect her just as much or more than other characters… overall she's treated as a plot device and not an actual character.

2.) She was a sister, wife, and mother. Then she died. Many characters loved her, and they only remember how caring and nice she was. Her fierce protectiveness is not mentioned after her death. She could also not fight for some reason (even though her mother was famous for her fighting skills??).

3.) After she has her kid- and her husband dies- she rushes into the middle of an active battle field and dies in the protagonist (her pseudo brother’s) arms. She tries to tell him one last thing but dies right then. He then goes on a rampage. Previously the biggest things we got to learn about her was she makes good soup, she had an arranged marriage (that was called off but was remended), and is kind. Despite being close w/ the protagonist (before her death) and one of the major side characters (and her being a Sect Leader’s daughter) there isn’t a lot of depth to her. Even if she’s only shown in flashbacks her character comes across as “she died to further the plot”

CORDELIA CHASE (BUFFY THE VAMPIRE SLAYER/ANGEL THE SERIES) (CW: Pregnancy)

1.) (downs an entire bottle of vodka and slams it back on the table) SO. CORDY. Cordy started off as a supporting character in Buffy the Vampire Slayer. At the start she was your typical high school mean girl character, but as the show went on we got to see more depth to her character: her insecurities, her courage, her capacity for incredible acts of kindness. Then after the third season she moved into the show’s spin off, Angel, where from the beginning she was basically the show’s secondary protagonist. Her and Angel were the two mainstays of the show’s main cast, she gets the most episodes centered on her out of all the characters aside from Angel (and yes, I’ve checked), and we really got to see her grow from a very shallow and self-centered and kind of mean person to a true hero who was prepared to give up any chance at a normal life to fight the good fight while still never losing the basic core of her character. There were some… questionable moments like the episode where she gets mystically pregnant with demon babies and things got a bit iffy like halfway through season 3 where the writers seemed to run out of ideas for what to do with her outside of sticking her in this romance drama/love triangle situation with the main character but overall, pretty good stuff right? THEN SEASON 4 HAPPENED. In season 4 she gets stripped of literally all agency and spends pretty much the entire season possessed by an evil higher power, and while possessed she sleeps with Angel’s teenage son (who BY THE WAY she had helped raise as a baby before he got speed-grown-up into a teenager it was a whole thing don’t worry about it) and gets pregnant with like. the physical manifestation of the higher power that’s possessing her. it’s about as bad and stupid as it sounds and also is like the third time cordy’s got mystically pregnant in this show and like the fourth mystical pregnancy storyline overall (you will be hearing more on that note in other submissions I’m so sorry). after giving birth she goes into a coma, in which she remains for the rest of season 4 and the first half of season 5. SPEAKING OF WHICH DON’T THINK SEASON 5 IS GETTING OFF SCOT FREE HERE. yeah so in season 5 the show just FULLY starts trying to erase cordy’s existence. she gets mentioned ONCE in the first episode and then never again until halfway through the season where she wakes up, helps out Angel for a bit and encourages him in his fight against evil, and then goes quietly into that good night and dies so it can be all sad and tragic. I’d call it the worst fridging of all time but even THAT feels generous because the whole point of fridging is killing off a female character so a man can be sad, and after Cordy dies basically no one’s even sad about it because the show immediately goes back to pretending she never existed. she is not mentioned ONCE in the two episodes after she dies. in the whole stretch of time between her death and the end of the season she gets mentioned exactly four times. again, I counted. anyway the fun twist to all of this is that all of this happened because the actress who played cordy got pregnant before season 4 and joss whedon was so pissed off about this affecting his plans for the show that he decided to completely fuck over her character and then fire her and write her out of the show. so cordy’s a victim of both writing AND real life misogyny!! good times!!

2.) OH SO MANY THINGS they menaced by giving her terrible hair cuts, making her seem like she’d get together with the guy she loves (and who loves her back) but instead she was killed and when she was brought back, she got possessed by an evil entity who used her body to give birth to itself. afterwards she was in a long coma and died. her character was so throughoutly assassinated

3.) She got demonically pregnant TWICE - there was this real sense of a womb/ability to get pregnant as like, a place for evil to get in. She got positioned as femme fatale and evil mother. The actress basically got fired for being pregnant, and when she agreed to come back for a single final episode she specifically said they could do anything but kill off the character. Guess what happened

#polls #round 1 #week 2 #new #cw pregnancy

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chasingpj · 2 years

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𝐈. 𝐏𝐫𝐨𝐥𝐨𝐠𝐮𝐞

“Someone is either having twins or is going to die."

pairing: percy jackson x child of hecate!reader words: 1,929 warnings: none timeline: the lightning thief a/n: finally, the first chapter of the young god rewrite is here! haha, heyyyy. this took way too long. like ridiculously long, and i'm so so sorry. so much happened these last few months. despite it all, i know that i will always return to this story. i can't promise to be consistent, but i will make sure i post very soon. i love you guys and all of your support. it really does keep me revisiting this story. i hope you enjoy this, and don't be afraid to comment! i love hearing what you have to say.

prologue part II

Eager fingers stretch across the keyboard, one by one, to form words, the words into sentences, the sentences into paragraphs. The keyboard was no match for his racing thoughts; every small dent barely satisfied the eagerness in his chest. He could yell at the sky in frustration. Why couldn’t the words just write themselves?

His topic for this lengthy assignment felt unique, equipped with a theory he formulated himself, and he couldn’t contain the excitement of finally documenting his web of ideas. For a while now, the world drowned out around him. No sound or person could get his attention; however, as he marks down a clever thought led to him by her for the first time, his mind wanders.

Florence. The image of her forms in his mind. He visualizes her eyes first. Their green color, how clear they are like moss-covered ponds, and how they droop and pinch at the ends. He can recall the first time he gazed into them, the way they captivated him at first sight. By now, he’s stared into them plenty, and every time, he admired the way they were right at the cusps of both striking and lovely.

She wasn’t his girlfriend. Not yet, at least. She was a friend, a close companion, a like-minded individual that he just so happened to have a major crush on. The side of his mouth quirks upwards. The word crush felt so juvenile but so was his feelings towards her. At his age, he didn’t think he’d find a connection that took him back to the purest form of infatuation from his youth.

He intended to ask for her heart right after the midterms passed. Though, a running feud in his mind questioned whether to ask her when the semester was over. During the summer, they would allow their love to flourish alongside flowers in his mother’s garden. He had fallen in love with the idea but waiting that long didn’t feel right. He knew waiting was stalling the rejection a part of him was expecting to receive.

Another voice in his head told him he was just being paranoid. He’s sure their many outings together had to mean something. Her soft smiles and laughs at his jokes, the tension-filled brushes of their hands. The flirting couldn’t have been all in his head. Right? The idea that he’s misinterpreted it all made him antsy in his seat. It’s enough to release an anxious sigh, and his vision moves upwards to soothe the strain of his neck. His hand rubs the ache, and as he closes his eyes, he suddenly notices a rhythmic creaking.

His mother whispers frantically under her breath, shaky fingers resting on her lips in deep thought. Vincent furrows his eyebrows. It was a rare sight to see his mother so disheveled. Her usually kept hair had wisps out of place, and the look on her face was riddled with torment. She paces again and again, unphased at the bothersome sound of creaking wood or even the harsh thumps of her step. Vincent marvels at how this small woman has such a thunderous stride as if her worry gave her extra weight.

“Um, Mom?” Vincent hesitantly calls, and it’s not enough to catch her attention. “Hello?” He calls for a second time, his voice more pronounced. His mother’s gaze adverts quickly in his direction, and the creaking ends. “Could you not pace? You’re making me anxious.”

“Well, that makes two of us!” Cordelia throws her hands in the air, exasperated. “First, it was the phantom cries—”

“Dad, Mom is losing it.”

“Let her be.” Vincent’s father, Theo, sits back on the loveseat on the younger boy’s right. He waves his hand dismissively, eyes fixed on the crossword puzzle in front of him. After 25 years of marriage, he’s far used to his wife’s paranoia.

“Then the dream where I was in a hospital…. and the geese in the yard! You saw the geese!” Vincent and Theo exchange a look. Cordelia searches for a hint of validation with her frazzled eyes.

“It’s near migrating season, is it not?” Theo points out, scribbling down an answer in the boxes.

“Well, yes… it is, but there were so many! Then, I cracked an egg with two yolks when I was making breakfast this morning!”

“And that means?” Vincent sighs, eyes following her back and forth as if he’s watching an intense tennis match.

“Someone is either having twins or is going to die.”

“Well, let’s hope it’s not the latter,” Theo mutters.

Vincent stifles the chuckle in his throat. “Or you just happened to crack an egg with a double yolk. Not everything is a sign, Mom.”

“I know not everything is a sign, Vincent, but I got goosebumps. Then the candle holder on the altar fell over. Lady Hecate is trying to tell me something. I just don’t know what.” Cordelia makes a beeline for the altar on the other side of the living room. She settles in front of it, adjusting the placement of her offerings with shaky hands.

Vincent sighs, watching his mother whisper a brief prayer for clarity. When she catches her son's eyes, worry flashes in her features.

“Something big is at work here. I’ve asked her countless questions, but the answers are so vague. Last night, I pulled a handful of cards in my divination session with her: The Tower, The Empress, The Page of Swords, The Page of Wands, and The Sun. It all felt domestic, youthful, and transformative.”

Vincent frowns, leaning his chin on the sofa's backrest. Cordelia stares at the tablecloth as if her answer will ascend from it any second now. Suddenly, she gasps, turning to her son sharply. “Have you and Florence—?”

“No! We haven’t!” Vincent groans. He ignores the wave of heat gracing his cheeks and returns his attention to his laptop.

“Well then, what’s all this baby business about?” Cordelia sighs. “Perhaps I’m interpreting it wrong.”

“Perhaps,” Vincent mutters, gaze fixed on the blinking cursor to find his previous train of thought.

“Honey, why don’t you sit down and have some tea? Or you can sit outside and let the neighborhood kids know we’re giving out candy. They always skip our home.” Theo smiles warmly at Cordelia. She sighs once again, her shoulders slumping in defeat this time.

“I guess Funeral Homes are too creepy even on Halloween,” Vincent sighs.

“You know, I’m starting to think that our impressive pomegranate growth in the garden this past summer has something to do with it too!”

Vincent pinches the bridge of his nose, and before he or Theodore suggests Cordelia take up one of their offers, the doorbell rings.

“Maybe your big thing at work is at the door.” Vincent jokes, quickly catching his father trying to hide his smirk.

Cordelia scoffs, fixing her hair in front of the mirror by the staircase. “You both just think I’m a madwoman,” she mutters, trudging downstairs to meet the trick-or-treaters.

There was silence for a while, and both men returned to their tasks before the hysterics. Theo was convinced Cordelia was finally occupied with something, but quickly, his satisfaction curdled into a panic when a wail proceeded to a harsh gasp.

“Mom?”

“Honey?”

The two rise from their seats, eyes widening as the door slams closed. “THEO! VINCENT!”

The calls of their names send their feet moving. They hurry down the stairs and turn the corner through the lounge area. As they appear at the doorway, Cordelia kneels over two golden baskets glowing like lanterns in the darkroom. With glistening eyes, she looks up, her hand over her heart as if it was the only thing preventing it from beating out of her chest.

“Dear Heavens, someone left their babies on our doorstep?” Theo approaches the baskets, kneeling beside his wife. He peeks under the white blankets in need of a closer look to confirm what he’s seeing is real.

“We have to take them to a firehouse,” Vincent gawks, frozen in his spot.

“No! What are you talking about? They’re ours!”

Theo and Vincent exchange glances with each other, pretty sure Cordelia has lost it. As Vincent is about to protest, a choked sob leaves her.

“Lady Hecate sent them; I know it. It all makes sense now.” From Vincent's view, he doesn’t see the letter she’s grasping for dear life on her lap. She shakes her head, “I knew it was her when you brought her into my shop, Vincent. How foolish of me not to recognize my patron in my presence.”

“Mom, what are you going on about?” Vincent kneels beside her. She meets his gaze with a veil of sympathy and presents the letter to him. In gold ink, it shimmered, To Vincent.

“Honey, the babies, they're yours.” There wasn’t a hint of amusement in her tone, but Vincent couldn’t help but scoff. There was no way these two babies were his. It was impossible.

“Is this a prank?” He asks as one of the babies coo and fusses in their blanket.

Cordelia quickly reaches for the child, cradling them until he settles down again. “Lady Hecate has a sense of humor, but I don’t think this is a display. Read the letter.”

Vincent carefully takes it from her, the paper thick in his hand. It didn’t feel like any regular envelope. It was made from a material he couldn’t identify, but its surprising weight is fitting for the heavy news inside. Still doubtful of his mother's conclusions, he opens the letter with shaky hands.

Dear Vincent,

This will come as a great surprise; therefore, I will explain myself the best I can and hope it will be enough. Your mother has been a devotee of mine since her youth, and it was through her did the fates introduce us. My attendance at your presentation was merely an errand; I did not foresee our gazes meeting or our relationship flourishing as it did. It was there I introduced myself as Florence and not by my real name, Hecate. Please do not take the falsehood of my identity as deception. For it was what I had to do to protect you and, as selfish as it may be, to have the room to get to know your soul the way I yearned to.

As for the children on your doorstep, your mother’s suspicions have been right. The twins are ours. They are a physical manifestation of your tender adoration for me and my affection for you. I am confident you and your parents will nurture and keep them well under your roof. You may name and raise them as you please. The only thing I ask is that you see them as gifts, not as burdens. Our time together was unwillingly temporary, and it’s through our twins I could reassure you had a piece of me to keep. Their lives are a lit flame representing our love despite my absence, so please, take your love for me and invest it into them.

As much as I wish to raise them beside you, there are rules I must obey. However, I will never be far. I will watch over your family as I’ve done for over a decade now. Every milestone our twins meet, I will be aware of. I’ll make sure of it. Whoever they become, they will make me proud, and so will you.

Vincent, please take care of yourself. Continue being the wise and gentle man I have fallen in love with.

With lots of love and great apology,

Your Florence

masterlist my lobby: ♡

#yg by xeni #percy jackson fic #percy jackson fanfiction #percy jackson #percy jackson x reader #percy jackson fanfic #percy jackson and the olympian fic #percy jackson and the olympians fanfiction #my writing #pjo fanfic #pjo fic #pjo #friends to lovers #slow burn fic #percy jackson oneshot #percy jackson one shot #percy jackson and the olympians

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im-out-of-it · 8 months

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CHRISTOPHER LIGHTWOOD DESERVED BETTER

weekly rant about my fav family and the atrocious writing:

I’m rereading chain of thorns and I’m at that part. y’all know the part. where a certain someone should not have died and how unnecessary it was. I like how grace is all like “you can stop this lucie.” bitchhhhh, couldn’t you have said that- hmmm, I don’t know maybe before Tatiana came out? like it’s so unnecessary and I am not here for CC hating the lightwoods and making sure each one from every generation dies.

Max- like what was he, an eleven year old? GONE. poor little boy 😭😭😭

Benedict- ok dude had it coming but he’s still a Lightwood and he died. plus Will makes a joke about it to Gabriel as if it’s not Gabriel’s trauma? the fuck. gabriel deserves better plus he needed more page time!!!! Gabriel and Gideon lost a father but yes, let’s make jests about it.

Kit- poor, sweet Kit. did not deserve to die like that. but of course, she’s not going to kill off any herondales because my god, we couldn’t survive that. can’t have our golden eyed and insufferable boys die. what vexed me most about this is the way CC went about it. I get they’re in this war but someone who is family and is practically family to y’all just died!!! but ok let’s grieve James and Matthew who are very much alive. wouldn’t be a CC book if we didn’t focus on the herondales.

tatiana- deserved it but I did not like how it was Cordelia. it should not have been her who killed her. Gabriel loses a son because of her, Gideon loses a daughter, Anna, Thomas, little Alexander, and Eugenia lose their brother, sister, cousin. literally Thomas loses his best friend who is basically his parabatai and his sister within the same year ish. I’m not sorry because it should not have been Cordelia to kill this wench.

Barbara- poor Barbara 😭 just wanted to marry Oliver but no, guess she’s got to go too. I would have liked to see more of her.

I swear that I do not want Magnus and Alec go adopt another kid if CC is going to kill them off. I know she holds herondales to this high degree but STOP HURTING THE LIGHTWOODS. yes, they are the best characters. without them, the world would probably be doomed. (looking at you jace lol we know you would’ve died without Alec or Izzy.)

adding Robert. he gone too. she even kills all the lightwoods in Thule like what is her obsession with hating this wonderful family? this is why I would rather she stop with the series. these are some of my fav characters but her carelessness and her desire to put one family above everyone else and simply act like nobody else matters is exhausting. as you know, I adore the lightwoods but it’s so draining to see them being treated like this. the only ones who I was glad to see gone was Tatiana and Benedict. you’ll never see her kill off a herondale. Stephen does not count because he wasn’t really introduced, and the other members were barely in stories, just mentioned.

and it’s fine if she has a preference. I love the lightwoods so much but there’s a different with you killing off multiple members of a family and writing out your fav family as untouchable. ahhhh, poor kit. he died and only Thomas and Anna had emotions through it all. we don’t even get to see Gabriel’s or cecilys reaction. what the fuck. I don’t know what CC was feeling writing this but I would have honestly rather she waited until she felt like writing it. it’s not fair what happened to Kit or the family over and over again. I wish she would do better but that’s too high of a hope for CC.

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buffster · 16 days

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Are You Now or Have You Ever Been (ATS 2.02)

This is part of my ongoing Buffyverse Project, where I write notes/meta for every episode in an attempt to better understand the characters and themes of the shows. You can find the BTVS list here and the ATS list here. Gifs are not mine.

I know I said I've seen Angel the once, but I swear I've seen this particular episode ten times. But it's a good episode! I always enjoy a look into Angel's past.

This is the episode in which we find the Hyperion Hotel, home for our protagonists over the next few seasons. A hotel is a pretty brilliant choice for them. There's plenty of rooms and hospitality for the needy. But first we gotta vanquish a baddy.

Over on Buffy, Spike's vampire nature is treated with disgust. But Angel is afforded a quiet respect, with Cordelia even bringing Angel blood (with a sprinkle of cinnamon) as she hands Wesley his tea. Angel keeps his cards close to his chest as he asks them to investigate the Hyperion.

We flash back to 1952, where we find the hotel thriving and buzzing about the mysterious resident...who happens to be Angel. Looks like he didn't always hide in alleys feeding on rats. There's lots of mysterious activity going on in the hotel, but this version of Angel has no interest in it. He's no hero.

We might have forgiven Angel for not chasing down hints of trouble, but then we see him outright ignore it even when it comes knocking. A young woman named Judy is clearly in trouble and being chased by a man. Angel gets his back up when the man gets cocky with him and beats him up a bit, but he's still not interested in truly helping.

One of the things that most draws me to Angel as a character is his apathy towards other people. He seems to genuinely struggle to like them, which you don't normally get in a main character. You get the sense people tend to let him down, and the version of him we see here is resigned to being an apathetic loner. He barely blinks when he hears a gunshot next door.

He also ignores the hotel guests as they become increasingly paranoid. Judy practically forces her life story on him: her mother was black and she's been passing her whole life. Things were going well and she was set to get married, but then the bank she worked at discovered her secret and fired her. Then her fiancée dumped her. Judy stole a bunch of money from the bank and fled. Her persistence pays off and Angel decides to help her.

Cordelia: A Thesulac. Paranoia demon. Whispers to its victims, feeds on their innate insecurities.

If things had gone differently, this event might have been a turning point for Angel. He decided to help the humans and if it had worked he might have found a real sense of purpose. Instead he was betrayed.

The first time I watched this through I understood Angel's POV. He was going to help Judy and she turned on him like that? People, man! But on the tenth watch I got to thinking...can we really blame her in this case? She was being victimized by a demon! Unless I'm mistaken, each of the characters is pushed to irrationality by a demonic force that feeds on their darkest thoughts. Judy especially seems like her true nature is optimistic--she apparently ignored the blood in Angel's room and thought if she gave the money back to the bank they'd forgive her. I think what Angel did here was pretty shitty.

Okay, the bellman was pretty shady though.

Back in the present, Angel calls everybody in to defeat the paranoia demon.

Gunn: "Orb Of Ramjarin please" makes it happen.

Wesley: Please. And do be careful. Ancient conjuring orbs are notoriously fragile.

Gunn: Now do I look like the kind of guy who doesn't know how to handle an ancient conjuring orb to you?

Little trouble with the new AI team member, it seems.

Back in 1952, the heartbreaking part of everyone at the hotel forming into a mob that's going to kill Angel is how not surprised he looks. He doesn't fight back as they throw a rope around his neck and push him off the balcony...but he wakes up looking pissed. The scene where he pulls himself up the rope was pretty cool. Revenge fantasy unlocked.

Thesulac: Well, I don't know about you, but I am stuffed! God, I love people, don't you? They feed me their worst, and I serve it right back to them. And the fear and the prejudice turn to certainty and hate -- and I take another bite! What a beautiful, beautiful dance!

Where're you going? You know you're paid up through the end of the week. Oh, you got your feelings hurt, didn't you? See now what happens when you stick your neck out for 'em? They throw a rope around it!

And you thought you'd made a friend. Newsflash: You had! That's what made her the yummiest morsel of all! You'd reached her, buddy! Restored her faith in people! Without you, she would've been just another appetizer. But you plumped her up good. Stuffed her with hope, filled her with gratitude. When she betrayed you, she betrayed everything! She's a meal that's going to last me a lifetime! You know, there's an entire hotel here just full of tortured souls who could really use your help. Whaddaya say?

Angel: Take 'em all.

What happened to Judy was really dark. Like...really dark. Poor woman has lived her whole life in that hotel, terrified to even leave the room. But this is a show about redemption. We're not shying away from the things Angel, or anyone else, has done.

At the end of her life, Judy asks for Angel's forgiveness. Poor woman.

In a show filled with second chances, it makes sense the Hyperion Hotel itself is going to get one. Angel declares that the hotel isn't a house of evil anymore. It's got to prove itself, just like our heroes.

Character Notes:

Angel: He's very offended when a shop owner thinks he was turned "north of thirty". Once again, there is a divide between Angel and the rest of AI. He tends to go off on his own while the others try and figure out what he's up to.

Wesley Wyndam-Pryce: The demon accuses him of being especially paranoid, which makes him paranoid. But Angel reassures him he didn't find him especially paranoid.

#areyounow #tim minear #angel #cordelia chase #wesley wyndam pryce #charles gunn #angel 2.02

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memoriesoftanalorr · 3 months

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She was an angel but she never knew she was (Michael Langdon x female reader)

Note: I don't know why I'm came up this, sometimes my mind rushing with ideas. I'd wish that there's was an redemption arc for Michael Langdon. I hope I didn't mess the things up since I never watched it but I'm gonna research properly, okay seems I'm not so but I'll rewrite it later on then. Why I'm so spontaneous with stories sometimes? Used the song by Thousands Foot Krutch sentence from the song Honest and also used Day To Remember song Miracle. Again I'm random at tittles.

Summary: Sets somewhere around AHS Apocalypse. Y/n is 17 years old student girl who's living at the countryside more or less safely. Cordelia Goode wanted to recruit a mysterious teen as she knows that Y/n has supernatural abilities but girl is hides well, some kind of spell hides her. Sometime later Y/n sees how Michael Langdon murders the person, somehow Michael didn't tried to kill the girl, he senses supernatural being but only barely and didn't figure out who is the girl is. The second time when Michael meet with a teenager, she was in the danger, a forest was burning in the fire, Langdon saved her. Somehow he felt affection to Y/n. Unknown to her, she's have a supernatural in her as well, her grandfather was a angel, cherubim and left a messages and instructions and amulet how to stop the Apocalypse. BTW, forgot to mention it'll be not a romance. Sorry for my grammar. I hope it's okay.

If you could only feel the way that I feel Ready for the war to come my way Yeah, I struggled so I know what it takes The pressure only builds 'til it breaks If you could only feel the way that I feel You might think it's something spiritual But I'm betting on the right here, right now To Hell with all the someday, somehow I've waited long enough I've waited long enough Don't need a miracle Right here, right now To Hell with all someday, somehow I've waited long enough I've waited long enough Don't need a miracle You might think it's something spiritual But I don't need a fucking miracle If you could only see the way that I see You could find the faith to take the leap It only took one shot to prove I'm not made of glass There's no pain you could cause that won't eventually pass If you could only see the way that I see You'd be betting on the right here, right now To Hell with all the someday, somehow I've waited long enough I've waited long enough Don't need a miracle

________

Y/n spending time at the countryside from spring until October, she lives in a two floor house with her father and they have many good friends among the neighbors. A teenage girl likes gardening and walking near the lake, she has her own room there. She made there so many good memories, Y/n loved their neighbor so much, she's a good lady who has a cat and they're always talking about flowers and walking near the lake together. Once at night, Y/n get a small trip away from the house, a teenager decided to enjoying the sunset. Y/n get through the bridge and walked forward the edge of the grasshill next to the lake. A girl starred at the purple sunset with a smile.

Y/n and her father stayed at the countryside a little longer though it was October. Week later, Y/n decided to get a walk over the lake again. It's getting dark when she is heading back, suddenly she's heard someone's terrifying screaming for help. "Is anybody's here? Oh, it's really scary." Y/n started feeling herself nervous.

A teen saw man's body laying on the ground covered in blood and then she noticed a man with short strawberry-blonde hair and blue eyes wearing black trench coat, pants and boots, he is holding a bloody knife. "You're better not telling anyone whet you saw here." Michael leaning closer to you. "Who are you?" Y/n trembling in fear. "My name is Michael Langdon. I'm Anti-Christ." he made a slutty smile. "Are you crazy? Stay away from me!" Y/n stepped back and runned as fast as she can. "Go on, run but I'll find you anywhere." Michael chuckled. Y/n get back home at the dinner time, get inside the hallway and take her jacket off and then locked the door. "Hey, how's your walk? You're just in time for a dinner." your dad greeted you. "Hey, dad." Y/n replied. "Something is wrong? You're look pale, are you getting sick?" he asked. "I think I get a cold. I don't want to eat. I'd rather go rest in my room." Y/n lied. "Rest well." Your dad said with a smile. "Thanks." Y/n nodded. You laid into your bed, closing your eyes. "What a nice night, meeting with maniac. I wish everything will be safe and peaceful here again."

Two weeks ago, you researching on an old and abandoned archive, it was weird that the building was near the forest. Inside was dusty and dark, you could see the spider webs at the walls and windows. "Disgusting. I should prepare myself. This archive needs a repair and cleaning. Alright, I'm come back here later." you spoke out loud. When you get outside you could feel the smell of fire and smoke. The trees and leaves were burning, turning into a large flame. You started panic and ran towards your house. Soon you began to choke on smoke and coughing a lot, you started to feel yourself dizzy. "Somebody help!" you screamed in despair. Michael Langdon appears behind your back. "Give me your hand. I'll get you out of here." "Is that you?" Y/n gasped. "Come on, trust me." Michael landing you a hand. "How I can trust you?" she struggled. "You're rather prefer to die? he pointed out sarcastically. Y/n grabbed his hand and falls into his shoulder as she lost consciousness. Langdon teleporting you miles away from the forest and then carefully laid you on the ground, leaning down on his knees next to you. Michael slightly using his abilities and read your mind while you were asleep. Sometine later, you're woke up, slowly getting up. "Ow, my head." "So you're awake finally." he spoke. Y/n glanced at him. "You're saved me?" "That's right, Miss Y/n." he nodded. "Well, thanks I guess." Y/n rubbed her shoulder. "You're welcome." "Wait, how did you know my name?" "That's one of my special talents." Michael made a slutty smile. "Uhm, I need to go now." you replied. "See you later." he smiled. "I don't think that I want to see you again." Y/n snapped. "Are you sure, little brat?" Michael mocked. "Anyway, I'm leaving." Y/n walks away.

In the distance you saw firefighters and an ambulance. Your father ran up to you and hugged you. "How did you escape the fire?" "I was on the other side of the forest. Everything was fine, but what happened to the others?” Y/n asked. "Our neighbors are fine. Some idiots set the forest on fire." "Let's go home." You glanced at your father with a soft smile and then looked back. "What are you looking for, dear?" your father asked. "I just had a feeling. Never mind." Y/n squeezed her father's hand and both of them leave the road side by side.

Few days later Y/n drive away with her dad to California. At the city she haven't friends and she's always just at home doing her daily routine or having small walking around the town. Once at afternoon Y/n sitting at the bench in the park and somehow she noticed a familiar strawberry blonde haired man with blue eyes in the crowd. You pretended that you're didn't seen him in the crowd and just reading the book. Michael sits down at the bench next to you. "What are you reading, kiddo? Is this a love story?" he teased. "It's not a love story, I don't really interested in love stories, it's a detective." Y/n responses to him. "I see." Michael chuckled. "Michael Langdon, right?" you just wanted to be correct if you're said his name right. "I love the way you said my name." he made a small smile. "Are you following me or what? Why you're here?" Y/n glanced at the man. "Because we're need to talk." he simply replied. "I don't want to talk when the other people could hear us." Y/n whispered. "Oh, I know where we can talk, come with me." Langdon stand up from the bench waiting for you. You take a deep breath and stand up from the bench. "Alright."

"I'm not going to hurt you." Michael assured you.

"How lovely of you." Y/n followed him across the street.

Michael lead you into abodended bookstore, though it was nice inside and not as dusty. "Uhm, I didn't seen this bookstore before." Y/n spoke. "You can find something interesting here for sure." Michael's blue eyes glanced through yours. "We're here not for reading, are we?" Y/n blushed. "Yeah, I know but I thought you would like to look around." he responded. "I guess there is a second floor, I'm bet this bookstore has a reading room. Let's talk there." Y/n suggests. The two getting up the stairs and entered a large reading room. Michael sit down at the sofa. "Are you going to just stand here or you're sit down?" he asked. "So what are you wanted to talk about?" you still didn't trust him completely. "Don't worry, kid. I'm not going to hurt you. I told you that before." "Alright, you can start first." she said shyly. "What brought you to California?" he asked. "Visiting a family member and actually I have a vacation." Y/n answers honestly. "I see." Langdon spoke. "Now is my turn. Are you really, you know---" Y/n paused. "Too scared to said it out loud?" Michael becoming glummy. "I just never thought that I could meet a supernatural being." Y/n expressed. "Hmm." Michael was amused. "So you're going to destroy the world?" you lowered your head. "You're better don't know about that." he said coldly. "Sounds really dramatic. Anyway I'm bet you're going to be lonely if you're going to do this." Y/n responses. "We both know who I am but I interested more in who you are." Michael stand up and walked towards you. "What do you mean?" Y/n freeze in shock. "I feel supernatural in you but I can't quite understand who you are." Michael glanced at you coldly. "It can't be true! I'm just the most ordinary person." Tears flowing down your face.

"Hey, kid. I'm sorry I'm scared you." Michael squeezed your hand.

"I don't understand... How it possible?" Y/n glanced at him.

"I'm not sure." He confessed. "Anyway, it's not about what you said, I'm just good for nothing." you still feeling your heart skipped with sadness. "I promise I'll find it out." Michael's blue eyes starred at you. "You don't have to." Y/n looked away. "Forget about it for a while. I like your perfume, it's so sweet and in the same time not so strong." Michael cuddled into your cheek gently. Y/n blushes and stepped back. "What was that? Stop that flirting." "I didn't meant to flirt with you, just wanted to make a compliment and comfort you." Michael replied. "Hmm, seriously?" Y/n rolled her eyes. "Believe me I don't have nothing like that in mind. See you later, Miss Y/n." "Wait, uhm, thanks for company. It's kinda weird but---" Michael smiled and then get down the stairs. Y/n leaves the bookstore few minutes after Michael leaves.

Time skip. Days ago. "Hey, dear. Take care of yourself. You know lately there has been a lot of unrest on the streets and in the world in general." Your father warned you. "I know that, dad. It's been a while since I'm getting outside though." you replied thoughtfully. "By the way where have you been last time?" your dad asked. "I was at the park and then I found a really nice bookstore but it was abodended." you answered. "I'm bet you're getting inside because you're really curious and love those kind of places." your dad said with a smile. "I hope nobody would think I'm a thief. I just would love to take care of this building." Y/n said passionately. "If this your wish, how about to talk with neighbors to make some repairs and such? And we'll do something together." he spoke. "That's would be great! But I think this building doesn't need much repair." Y/n hugged her dad. "Alright. I need to go." Your dad get a jacket on. "Be careful too." you reminded. "I've noticed you're daydreaming about something lately." he said. "I just daydreaming for some peaceful days." Y/n blushing. "Nice wish." Then he is get outside and leave the house, you locked the door. The truth is that Michael was on your mind. Last time he was tricky, cold and in the same time delicate. What he's feeling? Is he drowned into darkness or it's not too far gone?

Y/n then finds out from her dad that her grandfather left her an a amulet and his journal, Y/n don't remember much about her grandfather but she's heard he was kind and religious person. Y/n decided to find it.

The other day, Y/n was inside her room but then get outside at the backyard, Michael standing there. Y/n stepped forward him. "Michael?" Y/n was surprised to see him. He turned his face towards you, he was full of anger. "Mich… What's happened?" Y/n touched his hand gently. "My destiny in destroying humanity and the world. If you only knew what I can do! But I don't want to hurt you. I don't know why I feel this way. I am a monster!" Tears flowing down his face. Y/n embraces him into a hug. "You're must be feel yourself lonely, aren't you? I feel humanity and good in you. I wish there's a way out to prevent Apocalypse and heal your soul." "I afraid it's no way out." he replied. "I wish it's not like that." Y/n whispers. Michael squeezed into your shoulder gently still sobbing. "You're been through a lot I guess." Y/n patted his back. He slipped from your embrace and looked away. Y/n wiped his tears away, stroking his hair gently. "I like your hair." Y/n smiled. "I missed you, Y/n." Michael squeezed your hand gently smiling. Y/n giggled. "By the way, I'm not sure but I think we have a chance to get the answers on some questions." Y/n said mysteriously. "This is what I'm thinking about?" Langdon asked. "My grandfather left me a amulet and his journal. He was religious and it might mean that in this journal could be something about… If I am really a supernatural being and maybe in this notes he wrote how to stop Apocalypse." Y/n lowered her head. "Hmm, you need my help to find it?" Michael guessed. "I think I know where to start the search." Y/n said excitedly. "Seriously? Where?" Michael wondered. "It's somewhere in his room at our family's countryside house or in old archive but I think archive get damaged by fire." Y/n said thoughtfully. "I can get you there now." Michael spoke. "Let's do it tomorrow. I still have a lot of to do." Y/n yawned a bit. Michael giving you a hug before leaving. "See you soon then."

On the next afternoon, Michael knocked at the door. "Who's there?" Y/n asked. "Hey, It's Michael." he responds. "Hello, Mich." Y/n said as she opened the door into a hallway. "Are you ready?" he asked. "Listen, I'm not sure I want to know the truth. I'm such a coward, right?" Y/n struggling. "But yesterday you were so determined about finding the journal and amulet." Michael get confused. "But if we're don't find it or it's journal didn't exists at all. I don't remember my grandfather." Y/n sighed softly. "You're brave and clever girl. We're going to work it out." Michael laid his hand at your shoulder. "Thank you. Alright, we should get going now." Y/n take her bag. "Where's we should teleport first?" Michael asked. "How about try that forest? Archive is somewhere further."

"I got it. Take my hand and close your eyes." Michael spoke.

"Okay." Y/n squeezed his hand and take a deep breath before she closed her eyes.

When Y/n opened her eyes, she noticed that the surrounding around her is changed, it was the same forest.

Suddenly Michael grabbed your hand in protecting gesture. "I feel someone's presence." "Who's this? I feel something too but---" Y/n turned her head to see a women coming towards them. She has a blonde hair and brown eyes, pale skin, she's wearing a beautiful dress. She's seemed powerful but in the same time not going to harm anyone. Y/n wasn't as scared to meet with her. "Who's this lady?" Y/n asked Michael. "A witch from the coven. Get back, Y/n." he replied. "It's really surprising that you're trying to protect that child from me. I come with peace." Cordelia replied. "Are you two already met?" Y/n asked out of curiosity. Michael groaned. "So you're Y/n? I have something for you. I've been looking forward to meet with you but I couldn't do it earlier. My name is Cordelia Goode." she smiled. "Nice to meet with you." Y/n spoke. "Me too, dear. Take this amulet. It'll protect you." Cordelia helped you to wear on a amulet on you. "Thanks. It's from my grandfather? Did he left me a letter?" Y/n asked anxiously. "I found a letter tied with a ribbon, you can read it." Cordelia patted your arm. You opened a envelope and started reading. "Dear, Y/n. It's your grandfather. I should explain a lot of things. First, wear this amulet, it protects you from evil. You'll find more in my favorite place." Then the letter ends and you hide the letter into your bag. "I need to find my grandfather's journal. I think he's wrote how to stop Apocalypse." Y/n said. "Let's find it together." Cordelia laid her hands on your shoulders. Y/n looked back at Michael. "If root of evil doesn't mind that. If seems like he wants to let his anger out." Y/n mocked. "Do you know who he is? Did he tried to hurt you?" Cordelia asked. "I know who he is and he didn't tried to hurt me." you answers honestly. "Hmm, interesting." Cordelia glanced at Michael. "So this why you're here. I don't mind but I'm not really happy either." Langdon tighned his teeth. "Can I talk face to face with Langdon, dear? It won't take a long." Cordelia squeezed your hand gently. "Alright but I hope he'll not try to kill you when I'm away. I'm will wait you two over my family's house." Y/n joked and walk away. "What was that?" Michael said in confusion. "Do this child knows who she is?" Cordelia asked. "No. I can't understand it either." Michael replied in annoyance. "I feel bright and powerful aura. She's an angel." Cordelia added. "She's angel?" Michael widened his eyes in shock. "I see that child softened your heart a bit." Cordelia pointed out. He lowered his head. "I don't understand how but I feel affection towards Y/n." "She's a kind soul, she wants to save yours." Cordelia explained.

Then Michael looked away, he felt sadness. "I hope she can do this because without her, everything losing meaning in this damn world." "So Y/n means a lot of to you?" Cordelia was amazed by his words. "Let's stop wasting our time on talking, shall we?" Michael responded. "I'll tell her the truth when she's ready." Cordelia finished the conversation then. Cordelia and Michael caught up with you then. "Hey, Michael. What you two talking about? Did she cast a spell on you?" Y/n teased. Cordelia laughted, "No, I don't casting any spells on him when you were away. You'll know everything later on." Michael groans in response.

"Hmm, my grandfather wrote that I'll find more in his favorite place. Did he meant his room? It's get abandoned after his death." you feel like crying. "Let's check it out." Cordelia patted your shoulder. Michael glanced at you with empathy. "Right. This way." Y/n becoming encouraged by support. Trio get inside the house and walked through the hallway and then on the right. "My grandfather always locking his room but in last time, the door was unlocked but I guess my dad actually locked it after sometime." Y/n opened the enclosed latern and inside it she finds a key and opened the door. "Interesting. I feel something supernatural." Michael pointed out. Cordelia nodded quietly. The room was messy and dusty, there's was the mirror, a wooden table, chair, books and the window. "I found another key. Hmm, is there is the shelf on the back of the mirror with a lock." Y/n guessed. You unlocked the shelf on the back of the mirror and found a large journal. You're glances at the pages. "There are some rituals here. I don't quite understand." "Would you let me take a look on it?" Cordelia asked politely. "Yeah, sure." Y/n land a journal to her. Michael standing next to the teenager silently. "It's a really powerful rituals. Can I borrow your grandfather's notes for a while?" Cordelia looked at you. "Why not. I trust you." Y/n smiled. "Thank you, dear. I'll tell you both more when I'm made a proper research on it." she spoke. Y/n locked the room and then the trio leave the house. Michael then grabbed Cordelia's arm. "Why don't you tell me what you saw now?" "I'll tell you and Y/n everything later on." Cordelia glances at him. "What are you talking about?" Y/n approaching them. "He's just too impatient to know what was in these notes." Cordelia mocked. "I respect you enough to wait until you're read it." Y/n replied. "See you later, dear." she made a soft smile. "Bye." Y/n smiled. Then she leaves and Y/n steps to Michael. "I feel something between you two or I'm wrong?" "Hmm." Michael looked at you thoughfully. "Are you okay?" Y/n asked. "Do you really want to know who you are?" "Not now."

Five days later Cordelia and Michael visits you in your house. You made everyone a cup of tea. "First I have to tell you something, Y/n. You don't even know how much power you have. Your grandfather was chosen. He is an angel and so are you, it's in your blood." Cordelia took your hand. "Thank you for telling me." you lowered your head. Michael glanced at you. "Your grandfather also writes that his successor or witch can stop the Apocalypse by killing an a Antichrist either removing it's evil powers by ritual. But it's really powerful rituals and you're untrained and we're don't have much time. I can't risk your life. I'll do it." Cordelia glances at you. "But you're okay with risking my life, aren't you?" Michael snapped. "Maybe I can do this…" Y/n said. "Everyone at Academy is agreed with risk anyway." she added. "Do you guys having a witch school?" Y/n wonders. "Kind of." Cordelia giggled. "Who's going to make a ritual? If this works, I'm okay with that." Michael said. "Why do you would do that?" Y/n asked him. "Because I want you to be safe." Michael replied honestly. "So you care for me? It's unbelievable." Tears flowing down your face. "Trust me. I do care for you." Michael giving you a hug. Y/n squeezed into his shoulder gently. Cordelia watching the two with a smile. "I'll send a taxi for you when I'll prepare everything and provide you about the ritual if this safe but I'm not sure I can make it safe for you." Cordelia then finished. "Okay." Y/n nodded. Michael and Cordelia leaving your house quietly. "Tell me one thing, is this going to kill me or Y/n?" He asked. "Perhaps. But we have no choice anymore." Cordelia sighed. "Do you lied to her then?" Michael bursts in anger. "No, I'm not. There is still hope that she can survive." Cordelia responded. "I want her to live, can you hear me?" Michael replied bitterly.

Three days later Y/n get a letter from Cordelia laying under the carpet next to the front door. "Dear Y/n, I'm sorry that you're didn't heard anything from me lately but I don't want to risk your life, Michael don't want it either." A teen read the letter quietly. "I hope that everything will be fine soon." Y/n get inside the house and hid the letter inside her room.

Meantime, Cordelia and Michael went inside the abandoned castle, she draw the casting circle and prepared ingredients for the spell. Cordelia land a cup to him. "Drink it. I'm warning you, ritual going to be painful." Michael take the cup and drank it. "Let's do it." Cordelia then began casting the spell, the fire in the candles flickered. Langdon feeling like he's burning from the inside, he screamed in pain and at the end of the spell, he's falled on the floor unconscious. Cordelia leaned down next to him. He is still breathing. Michael opened his eyes some minutes later. Cordelia tugging his hair away and look at his ear, the mark behind his ear is fades away. "Your mark is faded." she spoke. "I can't believe it!" Michael shouted in shock. "Now you're human." Cordelia smiled. "And what's my purpose now?" he wondered. "I don't know what you're going to do but now your soul is healed and you're got a friend or a more than one." Cordelia get up from the floor and takes his hand and helping him to get up from the floor.

On next day, world gets to normal and safe. Michael and Cordelia went to your house. Y/n reading a book. Someone's knocking at the door. "Who's there?" Y/n asked. "It's Cordelia." A female voice spoke. Y/n wondering what happened to Michael. If he okay? "Oh, hello, Miss Cordelia. I will open the door now." Michael crawled from behind and grab your waist. "Hey, little brat!" Y/n trembled from a sudden attack from behind but laughted out. "You're freaked me out!" "Sorry I just couldn't resist myself." he made a smug smile. "I giving you back your grandfather's notebook. He left you another letter inside it and your photograph. He loves you." Cordelia land a notebook to you. "Then why I don't remember him? Thanks, but I guess it's better if you're hide the notebook somewhere with magic if something will happen." Y/n replied. "I think that nothing bad going to happen but anyway, that's wise. Take a letter then." she nodded. "So this ritual goes well?" Y/n asked. "Michael is human now, his powers are gone." Cordelia answered. "Glad to hear that." Y/n smiled. "Would you like me to teach you how controlling your abilities?" Cordelia touches your arm. "Attending a witch school? But I'm not quite a witch." Y/n struggling. "What's you answer, kid?" Michael smiles. "I'm not sure yet." Y/n rubbed her neck. "Don't worry. I'll wait for your decision. See you later, dear." Goode giving you a hug. "See you later maybe." Y/n hugged Cordelia back. "I think Michael wants to tell you something. I need to go." she whispers. "Really?" you're whispering to her. Cordelia nodded to you with a mysterious smile and then leaves. "Do you need help with finding a apartment? I know a nice one around on rent." Y/n spoke to Michael. "Sounds great. Listen, I going to say you something and I'll be honest with you." he squeezed your hand. "Alright." Y/n nodded. "I want to say… Thank you for being a good friend." Michael lean closer to you. "We're friends? But we're don't know much about each other." Y/n looked away. "I don't care and when I met you in second time, I readed your memories. Some of them. I hope you're not mad at me for that?" he glances at you. "I hope I can read yours. I'm not mad at you. And you're welcome." Y/n responses. "Hmm, the same perfume. You smell good." Michael cuddling into your cheek again. "That's enough!" Y/n hiding her face with her hands blushing and playfully pushing him away but then Michael hugs you. "I love you, my angel." he smiled softly. "I love you too but you're such a slut sometimes, my friend." Y/n mocked. "So you're love me too?" Michael made a playful smile. "So you made a truce with pretty witch lady huh?" Y/n teased. "Something like this." he answered. "If something I think we're can helping each other wilth stuff you know." you spoke. "Would be nice." Michael replied. "Do you want something?" you asked him. "Can we take a walk before I'm leave?" Michael taking your hand. "Sure."

#michael langdon #michael langdon x reader #x reader fanfiction #fluff #light angst #Sorry if this doesn't make any sense #weird friends #weird friendship #brotp #love of friendship #cody fern #ahs apocalypse #american horror story #he's great #I heard that there's will be another season when it's aired maybe I'll write another fan fiction #More like guardian angel #Okay don't mind me #teen reader

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daisymylove · 1 year

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Hide the breakables and board up the windows, my beloved Mfs, for a rant is coming your way.

I want to be done complaining about chot I really do, I hate being so negative about a book I waited and yearned for, for so long, but there’s one more thing that annoyed me greatly, and, per usual, I want to know what yall think

Today’s subject is our Blackthorn sibling duo.

I wanna preface this by saying that Grace’s povs were one of my favourite parts of Choi.Her character in itself adds grayness to a narrative of angels and demons, good vs evil, and I really enjoyed all the complexity and layers given to her.I ended Chog cursing her name to the wind swear to god, the cursing emoji was a perfect visual representation of me when she put that thing on james again, but in choi cc achieved exactly what she aimed for with grace :” an explanation, not an excuse”

However, I feel like all that information we were given in the previous book was completely wasted in Chot.The characters never find out that she was threatened into putting the bracelet back on James, or that she tried to take it off at his wedding. Her motivations, too, are never known.The way it was portrayed, it looks like Grace stayed so long by Tatiana’s side bc she truly had some sort of fetish for torturing men, when, in reality, it was all for Jesse

She could’ve begged for sanctuary in an institute, once she became old enough, she could’ve fled with Magnus when he offered to help her in TMH, but she never did.Grace never left bc leaving Tatiana would also mean leaving Jesse and what was all that for? home boy discarded her like some rancid food at the first opportunity When she went to Curzon street to demand James kissed her? That was for him. Even that train wreck she caused by the end of choi was for him, bc she couldn’t bear the thought of controlling her brother and twisting his feelings for her.To me, this is some very relevant info that should’ve become known if all the secrets were going to be revealed, AND YET NONE OF THIS IS ADRESSED IN THE GODDAMN BOOK

the only explanation I can think of is because that knowledge would require of Jesse to have at least a little bit of loyalty towards his sister, or look like an ungrateful arse which he did, but I’ll get there.

Now about jesse.I had great expectations for him in this last installment, the first one in which he’s alive, but my main take away is that he has become an extension of Lucie’s feelings and opinions, in the most symbiotic way possible, with no personality of his own.

In choi we find out that Grace withstood a lot of physical and psychological abuse from Tatiana that he didn’t know about.I was expecting them to have a true heart to heart, they would discuss everything that went down when they were kids, not just james and the bracelet, and jesse would not only feel guilty about not being able to protect his little sister, but also decide to stick by her side no matter what.

And yes, he could’ve done that while also condemning her mistakes and treatment towards James.The two are not mutually exclusive, and would do justice to his little speech about complicated stories, which, to me, is a very hypocritical spiel since he decided to become his sister’s jury, judge and executioner

I never thought I would say this in my life, but I was infuriated on Grace’s behalf reading their scene in the silent city.Everything about it was very odd, Grace conveniently for cc withholding something so important, the way she explained herself, his storming off. Jesse had never had ONE conversation with Cordelia in his life, he barely knew James, can a kind soul explain to me WHY he would be more concerned about their marriage than his actual sister? Considering his beloved had just done necromancy (YES, Thats what it was, even if it was a unconventional form of it.Bro was dead, then bro was alive again, just like that. N e c r o m a n c y) his moralism is very hypocritical and his understanding of nuance lacking

It irked something so deep inside me to see not just kit defending a girl he barely knew tooth and nail over his cousin and life long friend, but also Jesse not giving a fuck about his sister.They were talking about leaving Grace completely isolated from society (that was disgusting btw, it was up to their authorities to decide her future, not a bunch of teenagers thinking they can treat a person like a broken doll, to be put away wherever they feel like it) and Jesse looked like he couldn’t spare a visit. He seemed more than eager to put Tatiana AND grace behind him in order to start a new life with the herondales. So much for them being all each other had growing up and his so called loyalty

As some last thoughts bc this is getting way too long, Grace should’ve been the one to kill Tatiana.That wasnt Cordelia’s business and had no emotional significance. When that fight happens Grace looks the polar opposite of everything Tatiana ever groomed her to be.She is dirty, shoeless, bedraggled and feral looking, Lucie even thinks that grace’s little training would only be useful if she got close enough.Imagine, my siblings in christ, Grace slitting Tatiana’s throat, after she kills Grace’s only friend, while she is distracted with Rupert.Tatiana molded Grace into her blade, and that Blade was responsible for her end.Feel the sheer power of it, the poetic justice that could’ve been ours.

I also think Grace should’ve been sent away to the scholomance (against her wishes, hence the I didnt choose this) for intensive training both bc she’s really behind in it, and as a punishment from the clave.Its not like she had a place to go to, and staying at her ex fiance’s parent’s house is not the way to go. .

This new scenario would give her a fresh start to properly heal and eventually make friendships/ find love without the taint from the past on her heels.Her hanging out and chilling with James and his friends has no sense and is a disrespect to his abuse.James doesnt need his abuser living in his uncle and aunt’s house, Grace needs to start her life over where her past won’t haunt her everyday

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fangirlfreak08 · 10 months

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Tlh characters/relationships as speak now (Taylor’s version songs)

Mine:

It pains me to say this but jordelia. Hear me out! ‘Careless man’s careful daughter’ and Cordelia doing everything she can to get Elias off the hook in cog. ‘Do you remember we were sitting there by the water…’ and Cordelia reading to James when he was ill.

Sparks fly

Ghostwriter. ‘Kind of reckless that should send me running’ when he’s literally a ghost?? ‘Captivated by you baby like a fireworks show’ when Lucie so clearly remembers their first meeting? Also the song just gives off major like writer with an idealistic view of love so it’s perfect for Lucie

Back to December

Alastair to Thomas. Mainly like after coi/early chot Thomastair. ‘I’m so glad you made time to see me’ as Thomas going to see Alastair when he wrote despite their ‘break up.’ ‘You gave me all you love and all I gave you was goodbye’ I mean really it’s their whole convo after the sanctuary scenes guys

Speak now

Matthew. Do I even need to explain??? His whole monologue about if they really loved each other then he’d leave but it’s a sham and she shouldn’t be marrying James as a sham but hes still gonna let it happen because he’s in love with her and he’s his parabati. Also him actually shooting his shot at the end of chain of iron (rip his chances after the gracelet came off though)

Dear John

Alastair carstairs and also to some degree grace? I mean the opening line just screams Alastair. Also the whole don’t you think I was too young to be messed with HE WAS LITERALLY A CHILD. ‘Don’t you think nineteens too young to be played by your dark twisted games’ and Charles engagements and lies ‘but I took your matches before fire could catch me’ he made it out! He dumped Charles before he lost himself completely and I will never not love him for that

But also Grace like to her mum? ‘Never impressed by me acing your tests’ I mean come on

Mean

Once again, Alastair carstairs. And not just because I love the man. It’s giving him at the academy and then him growing up and loving himself and stopping being the bully to avoid being the victims. It’s giving him spending his childhood under his dads abuse to grow up and be free of him and be able to live his life how he wants. It’s giving him dumping Charles and dyeing his hair back to its natural colour in the same day. It’s giving him growing up and learning to be happy.

The story of us

Ari to Anna. ‘So many walls up I can’t break through’ with Anna being on the defensive but not telling her why. Them being so happy the first night they met to them not talking in cog to them almost being back together to them fighting to them actually communicating and getting back together? ‘Is it killing you like it’s killing me’ Ari knowing how she feels but believing that Anna is entirely unaffected by their ‘relationship’

Never grow up

Any of the tid adults to the Tlh gang but also Alastair to Cordelia (and now Zachary)? Like the man gives up his childhood to ensure Cordelia has one then suddenly she’s grown up and has her own opinions and he can’t keep protecting her because now she knows things he never wanted her to and then she’s married and he really can’t protect her anymore.

Enchanted

Thomas to Alastair. I don’t really need to explain but it’s the way Thomas has loved him from the start. Maybe not truly been in love with him given they barely knew each other but there’s always been those feelings. ‘Please don’t be in love with someone else’ and Thomas watching Alastair and ch*rles interact over the years and just know that Alastair doesn’t feel the same way but still desperately dreaming that maybe one day he will and then one day he does?!

Better than revenge

The one and only Miss Cordelia Carstairs. Pre chot obviously. Like the majority chain of iron being her and James married and content and having their deal and her not really worrying about Grace all that much because nothings gonna happen between them for another year and James is acting a bit different know so maybe there’s hope?? And then suddenly seeing them two kiss.

Innocent

Both Alastair and Grace. The whole song is about not defining someone by their mistakes (although fuck Kanye) and both Alastair and Grace repent for their pasts (I would personally argue neither are actually responsible for what they did but that’s another post) this song is also Thomas and Christopher respectively, constantly standing up for the other after they get to know them. It’s giving Thomas defending Alastair to the merry thieves for YEARS and kit defending Grace to the whole crew after the gracelet thing comes out

Okay this is extremely long imma do a part 2

#the last hours #Tlh #Alastair carstairs #Cordelia carstairs #Thomas lightwood #James herondale #Christopher lightwood #anna lightwood #Grace blackthorn #lucie herondale #jesse blackthorn #ari bridgestock

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ofstormsandsaints · 2 years

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Christa being known as the "White Rose" probably has made her have to dress up to fit the title, to fit people's expectations (read: purity kink) about her. I don't think she got a lot of say in a lot of things, like how she dressed, before and after she got married to Karlheinz😔. How does Christa dress as the "White Rose", and how would she personally dress herself if she got to explore her style?

it has been sleeping in my askbox for so long... even though I really liked how you formulated this ask. Thank you for your patience!

now, my interpretation of Christa's fashion sense gives her the freedom to explore her style. She knows what looks good on her even though she selects it in order to live up the White Rose title😔

Fashion headcanon - a Christa lookbook

It is impossible to picture Christa as something else than a spectral beauty. An otherworldly creature born like a snowdrop. The palest bloom sprouting out of the slowly warming earth at the beginning of spring. So delicate, so sensitive. Holding a silent power in her closed fists.

All her childhood, she had been the joy and pride of her family - not only did they give her a title, but they fashioned her heart and spirit in the belief of an untouchable persona. The White Rose, meant to be desired from afar.

Vampires do have this sinister obsession for purity... And Christa convinced herself that this ethereal aura was her main shield.

-Unreal loveliness.

-Dazzlingly pale. A ghost dressed in opalescent silk, blue veins and scarlet gaze, all complimented under the moonlight.

The collision between a Petrarchan beauty, a sad phantom from one of Maupassant's short stories and a woodland queen fairy.

-Edwardian lace. On her sleeves, around her neck and brushing the skin of her ankles

-Like Yui, Christa doesn't like to draw attention to her chest. @nutaella-kookie mentioned in this post how her best assets would be her hips and legs and I agree. But they're so fragile that Christa would always hide her silhouette in long flowing skirts - sometimes so long you can only guess the tip of her shoes, so when she moves it seems like she barely touches the ground. She was gifted with supernatural grace

-And cursed with immense fragility.

-She's so delicately built, most men and women feel like they could crush her when holding her shoulders and giving her body just a squeeze.

-Her oh-so-thin neck is exposed with a modest collar, maybe some off-shoulder covered with a pale, see-through veil that follows the length of her arms.

-Long split sleeves, an inspiration from antique togas or maybe some butterfly/petal sleeves. Something dainty and easy to cover with a mantilla or other veils.

-It doesn't seem like it at first but she layers a lot.

-It is truly a game of transparency and forms. The art of creating an harmonious noble silhouette without making it bulky. She hates massive skirts, petticoats and tight corsets.

-Being so thin and short, she could never dress with the same regal confidence as Cordelia or with Beatrix's dignified stature. Too-vibrant colours would devour her and she would look ridiculous in ballooning ball-gowns.

-Opts instead for pale dresses with an empire waistline and flared, flowing skirts most of the time.

-Think of 1990s Yves Saint Laurent and Christian Lacroix spring collection

-Prefers the glistening fineness of pearls over gaudy golden jewels.

-The elegant incrustation of moonstones, herkimer diamonds or celestites, the stabilising power of abalone shells, calcite and Tibetan quartz... The Lady of the Tower knows her stones.

-But throughout the years, she began to wear less jewellery. She grew to hate the feeling of heaviness on her hands when wearing rings so now, just like Beatrix, she only keeps her wedding ring.

-One ring and her nails are cut round and short.

-...to prevent her from scratching her maids' face when she's having a panic attack. She already hurt Subaru that way when he was little.

-The cousin of the Vampire King hides her aura of failed divinity with veils and shifty looks.

-Starry or plain. Softened hues of pale pink or blue that look almost white - it reminds you of the fainting colour of roses in her garden.

#diabolik lovers #diabolik lovers headcanons #diabolik lovers fashion #diabolik lovers fashion headcanon #diabolik lovers christa #christa sakamaki #christa #cordelia sakamaki #beatrix sakamaki #karlheinz #dialovers #shuu sakamaki #reiji sakamaki #ayato sakamaki #kanato sakamaki #laito sakamaki #subaru sakamaki

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kelbunny · 4 months

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roland glenbrook

how much I like their personality

I latched onto him extremely quickly. I like how reckless he can be, he still has his compassion, gentle side (seen with how he interacts with Cordelia, I love these siblings sm), but on the other hand, his hatred and anger also feels extremely natural. Unfortunately I'm not great at explaining personality details, but suffice to say I like it a lot.

how much I like their design/aesthetics

I honestly really like his design. I love how it has a lot of royal vibes to it (studded doublet(?), the gold woven into his green shirt, and the gold on the bands on his sleeve ~~forgive me I barely know modern fashion terms, let alone medival ones~~) but it also has details of his more reckless personality (such as the messier hair and the unbuttoned doublet and shirt).

And for details that get missed often, I really like the vibes his boots and the little ties on his sleeves gives

I think it speaks to how much I like him and want to draw him as accurately as possible considering he's one of the few characters I've put together extensive collage references for haha

Also masked Roland in general *chefs kiss*

how interesting I think they are

I think he's really interesting. He's a mess of a 20yo who went from being ignored by many to suddenly have thousands of expectations placed apon him in less than a week and breaking under the pressure accordingly.

Back when we still just had the debut demo, he was the character I was the most excited to see the arc of.

how well-written I think they are(if applicable)

I believe I've mentioned it before, but Roland is (imo at least) probably the most interesting and well written character in Tristrat. I like how his fatal flaw (his lack of self worth) is visible so early in the game and how it shapes his different actions.

And speaking of actions, both his fall in utility and redemption in golden feel so natural. Neither feels forced. And I like how even though he changes throughout the story (going from young carefree prince to one saddled by the pain from his family's deaths and the deaths of people in his name) his constant motivation remains the same. He wants to help people. Which makes sense considering he's the one to represent Morality, but he also shows how that ideal can be twisted into something less noble during his own ending.

how much I like their mechanics in-game

I really like how he plays. He definitely gets more glass-cannoney as the game goes on, but at the same time, he becomes a really effective boss killer and finisher with abilities like Four Dragons and Opportune Attack. And he synergizes well with his sister, as Cordelia's over-heal helps to negate his squishyness.

if I think they are a Good Person(tm)

I think he's a good person who makes stupid decisions out of desperation. He genuinely wants to help his people, but his own lack of maturity at times, as well as the fact he was never taught to be king lead to mistakes that make things worse for the people he wants to protect.

I think it speaks to his character that he realizes he was wrong in the non utility endings, and especially in Golden where he's willing to try and put away his hatred of Aesfrost to try for a better future.

#triangle strategy #triangle strategy spoilers #roland glenbrook #Kelbunn answers #There's a reason he so quickly toppled all my other faves and that's because I like how everything about him tickles my brain #My favorite sad princeling

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fyodorkitkat · 11 months

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Who do you think is the deepest character in diabolik lovers and whyyyyyy :3 (sorry if this is weird btw :,))

Tomà out here activating my dialovers derangement syndrome 🥲 ty ty ty also sry sry sry in advance 🙏💜

Minors dni with this post

This is not weird omg no one ever asks me about dialovers you need to understand I was into VNs including otome before I was into any anime (including bsd) and diabolik lovers is my longest term obsession that isn't music 💜🙏 This is mostly going to involve things from the games (because the anime was basically silly fanservice that barely scratches the surface for anyone) but I'll leave out drama cd stuff because I would actually need to go refresh myself on those.

Absolute novel under the cut sorry. also cw noncon, cw dubcon, cw abuse, cw csa, cw suicide, cw matricide

Anyone not familiar with the series who decides to continue pls be aware of these warnings and take care of yourself. Also pls understand everything I say is in terms of the series and setting. Absolutely nothing that happens in these games would make any of these characters redeemable irl. This is fiction and a trashfire Do-S fetish franchise. Trauma doesn't excuse abuse. I don't condone any of the bad behavior from this series irl. (Sorry since this isn't my sideblog I feel I need to explain this so ppl don't come at me thinking I'm excusing stuff for reals with this little analysis)

Also this is probably going to have spelling mistakes and horrific formatting because I wrote it on mobile so my bad on that too.

This was so hard to answer because so many of them have serious trauma, maladaptive coping mechanisms, and large amounts of growth throughout the various sequels. I think you could make the logical argument of depth for every single character. The Sakamaki triplets are def the most tragic of the first two games in this regard though (maybe only rivaled by the Tsukinami brothers once we get to Dark Fate because of the whole being the sole survivors of genocide thing)

But as a whole I think Carla and Shin deal with their predicaments in a more outwardly focused manner (which makes sense given their stories and roles as antagonists in their debut game) so I don't think I could objectively call them the deepest esp Carla even though he is my fave.

So out of the Sakamaki triplets I am going to go with Laito. Shocking I know because I have said before he is the one I am the most terrified of. But hear me out.

(I'm using HBD (haunted dark bridal) to refer to the first game, and MB (more blood) to refer to the second game going forward)

His first route in hdb is a stomach twisting mess of isolation, noncon, gaslighting and victim blaming. It is also the only route in that game where Yui tries to kill herself, which imo is really notable. Tbh the first time I played it I was so deeply uncomfortable I didn't really give his character a lot of thought. During replays and some of his drama cds though it def changed my perspective of him (in terms of the deepness of his character, not my dislike of him)

Here are my arguments in topical format because I don't really want to go through and do the research needed to refresh myself and make this chronological. Also if I am mistaken with anything I've paraphrased my bad it's because this isn't a real essay more of a rant that you might regret reading lol.

- Cordelia

We can't go into the rest of my arguments without the facts. He was groomed by his mother and experienced a childhood of CSA at her hands. And he is absolutely confused and suffering when he has his flashbacks. Yes he kills her with the other two triplets, but that didn't actually solve anything for him internally, and I think it is a pretty clear-cut argument that his negative traits and behaviors can be linked back to his unresolved trauma from this. He even says it himself too when he tries to project onto Yui and claim her hatred for him must be the same as his for Cordelia (though unnamed in his quote im pretty sure) that a hatred can run so deep that even killing the person won't relieve the burning. The other ironic part of this is that in the dialovers universe it is explained multiple times that the highest act of love for a vampire is murder. So. Every LI (Reiji, Laito, Ayato, Kanato) that committed matricide out of their hatred probably has some deeper more complex feelings going on than that. (You could also argue maybe a similar thing about Carla and patricide as well though he is Founder/First Blood not vampire. But he is more open about his reasoning and feelings around his parents and why he did what he did imo)

- His disdain of purity (plot twist. It's jealousy).

We repeatedly see him mock both Yui's purity and religiosity. He is arguably the worst out of all of the LIs when it comes to this topic, and hits this point right out the gate when he assaults her in the abandoned church. It is simultaneously a logical and also weird choice on his part to continue on with when you realize how unwavering her faith actually is, and if you do other routes before this one you are already coming in realizing no matter how much she "breaks", "changes", or "gives in" in other ways, she never actually abandons her faith completely even in future games when she is living quite literally in the demon world. Even in routes where she becomes a vampire she doesn't eschew God. However it is canon that she is a devout Catholic and that she originally wanted to be a nun (before the events of the game screw that up for her), so it is still relevant.

While it may have started as a way to try and break her down, it really becomes more and more clear through his routes that like a bunch of his other behaviors, he is projecting his own struggles onto Yui.

He is jealous of her purity, so he attacks it. He is jealous of her faith, so he attacks it. He is jealous of her unwavering belief in goodness and in humanity, so he just. keeps. attacking. it. Because seeing it exist in front of him hurts, but especially early on he isn't aware of his own emotions or why he acts the way he does. So many things in his routes and his monologues highlight the fact that Laito views himself as permanently dirtied by his past, and this behavior is tied to that.

- His inability to identify his feelings from his fake front and his use of sex to maladaptively deal with his trauma.

** I wrote way too much on this and decide nvm I think even if someone has only seen the anime his hypersexuality probably speaks for itself. Plus this is getting so long 😔**

-His lack of control in MB and "forced" behavior. His confusion over his own tears near the end of HDB.

There are various instances (esp in MB where his characterization is wildly different and desperate compared to HDB) where we see his mask start to crack, or realize that his mask wasn't actually very good to begin with and the exhaustion from the continous abuse in his routes has caused both Yui (and us as the reader) to fall for his bullshit more easily. He plays the part of a pervert, but Shu (who arguably is a massive pervert) calls him out in MB for being a phony. His behavior in MB makes him come across as desperate and out of control, as opposed to his calculated sadism in HDB. This all comes back to his inner turmoil, unresolved feelings, and trauma and we slowly unpeal those layers through the rest of the series.

I think at baseline it is really easy to dismiss Laito. I did from the beginning too. Plus he never stops calling Yui Bitch-chan no matter how many sequels he gets 🤦‍♂️ But that is just falling for his fake front, exactly what he wants you to do because then he can just keep carrying on without dealing with his bs and let off steam temporarily in the process. But under the surface there is a lot more going on. And he definitely is a character that has an insane amount of depth.

Sorry for the multi part novel. I don't even like him as an LI even in this series. But for a series with so many inconsistencies, retcons across games, and questionable writing choices, they did a good job with his character. I just need him to stay far away from both me and Yui 🥲 Imagine if you had asked me something that prompted me to talk about my faves 💀💀💀

#-Lue asks #sorry for not tagging the series to anyone who filters it i dont want my rambling mess in the main tag 🙏💜#cw abuse #cw suicide mention #cw csa mention #cw noncon #cw dubcon #minors dni with this post

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faithfromanewperspective · 9 months

Text

very long comedown snippet

(this was almost 6K words but I finally got out what I was thinking about re the midnight heir, mental health headcanons, and a bit of carstairs generational trauma)

“I did all that?” James looked horrified. Matthew, who had heard the story before and had had his time being horrified before coming to terms with it, simply said, “I told you there is a reason why we are parabatai. Several, actually.” He tried to school his face into nonchalance, which was hard while he felt Jamie’s distress through the bond—but that was all the more why it was important not to let it get to him too.

“There’s more,” Magnus said, “but perhaps I should spare you that for a later time. James, I knew your father when he was your age. It really isn’t that strange—I thought you were him when I first saw you, having not seen him for twenty-five years, until I remembered that most people don’t stay unchanged for twenty-five years. I even had to remind your parents that you are your father’s son.” He frowned. “Shall I keep showing you more recommendations for you honeymoon? Or was this for your travel year, Matthew, I admire your insistence on taking the idea of a ‘travel year’ literally rather than staying in one Institute for the whole time.”

Matthew was about to reply and ask for more recommendations, even though Magnus had already told him about nearly everywhere in the world, when James said, “Stuff the honeymoon. Stuff holidays. I can’t believe no one told me this. What else am I capable of doing, without realising it? Who else do I need to apologise to? I’m meant to be keeping mundanes safe. Someone should have told me if I end up doing the opposite on a night out while heartbroken under a spell, and I would have realised then that I’d do best to never touch alcohol.”

Cordelia half-tumbled off the bed where she was sitting next to James and left the room. The door slammed behind her, reverberating in the silence, and Matthew didn’t have to look at James to know he was spiralling into now-look-what-you’ve-done territory. He felt it, he’d spent too much of his life there himself. Fighting to be calm but just glad Jamie was there, neither of them alone, Matthew put a hand on his shoulder.

Magnus looked at the two of them, now the only ones left in the room, thoughtfully. Her father, Matthew belatedly realised. Alastair would have been mad at James, cutting words masking his fear and hurt from the past. But Cordelia, as much as he tried not to think about her—he didn’t think she had been exposed to most of it. Maybe this was it. Another thing she didn’t know, that made it difficult to trust those around her. Even now, Matthew could feel whatever Cordelia felt a little too strongly.

“Before you go after her, James,” said Magnus, “before you start promising not to drink or shoot things or hurt anyone, you might like to hear something I inferred from a tiny detail in what you said. You said you were under a spell? I assume it was from Grace?”

Matthew felt James stiffen as if he had been shot or doused with cold water. Then there was a pause as he did whatever breathing exercises calmed him down, and said, barely more than a whisper, “How did you know?”

“I went to visit her later that night. I was in London because Tatiana had asked for me—I noticed her enchantment when I saw her. I offered to help her get away—which she said no to as did you—” Magnus sounded tired as he said that, and Matthew wondered what else had happened that night. Perhaps reuniting with old friends after decades was often emotionally exhausting, especially when you’re only doing so to return their son home. He was starting to realise how much cause Magnus had to believe that Shadowhunters mostly just wanted to hurt him and take advantage of his services.

“—anyway, the spell may have influenced how you behaved. It’s a far shot, but I would not worry so much about how you behaved until we rule that out. The James I’ve gotten to know over the past seven months is not who I first assumed you to be.”

But sometimes it does happen, sometimes someone does act in ways that are not like themselves, even without magic or alcohol or opium, they just get deranged for a few days or hours or even weeks and return to themselves after, a little bit sad and tired, assuming they haven’t gotten badly hurt or in too much trouble. Matthew had good cause to know that, though he didn’t want to think about it. Surely not. Surely it couldn’t be—

“As for Cordelia, I trust that you know what she needs, and that you will do what is responsible and kind to her. Your parents should have told you what I told them, but I can see why that would have been a difficult conversation to have. I should never have left London so abruptly.”

Matthew was sick of people berating themselves for things they didn’t need to. “Magnus, you need not take care of us Shadowhunters all the time. Angel knows that you do enough good. Perhaps I shall berate Will and Tessa for you, Jamie, I remember how worried I was when we lost you as well. Perhaps they will berate me for losing you. But you did more than you had to, Magnus, you did more than enough. And we shall inform Jamie of his outrageous adventures another time, and keep planning more outrageous adventures that each of us will have, but I fear that we may both need to accompany my parabatai to check on his wife, or everyone will be unhappy.”

Cordelia wasn’t downstairs, she wasn’t in her room either or in the library with her cello or the drawing room. James felt like he had that day he’d found her in Shepherd Market, the rage and terror that had gripped him and the thought that if only he’d done better by her, if only he’d found out about the curse sooner, he might not have hurt her so badly she felt like she—but she hadn’t, he reminded himself, she had just been reckless and heroic, like she always was. And this time, he knew through the fog and terror and self-directed rage, she was probably more worried about him than the other way around. It wasn’t a helpful thing to think about at all, but what if he did hurt her, truly hurt her, what if she feared who he could be now that she knew some things he’d done that he had only just become aware of? He would rather die than hurt Daisy. Maybe that was part of the problem, simply another side to the coin. He remembered a time at Anna’s, the jarring pain of landing under her window and not being able to take it, all that he’d done wrong without ever realising. When had James become so violent?

“Breathe, Jamie,” said Matthew, and maybe it was good that he hadn’t found her yet. That she didn’t have to witness whatever was happening with him now. “Daisy will be fine.” But Matthew hadn’t seen her, hadn’t seen how absent she had been lately and the feeling of everything catching up James knew all too well reflected in his wife. “Think, Jamie, you know where she would have gone. Magnus checked, she took the carriage, where do you think she went?”

Not the Institute, Lucie wasn’t at home today: she and Jesse were spending time with Grace (James wondered how that was going).

“She’s at her mother’s house,” he said. “I’m almost certain.”

“Shall we walk then?” Matthew asked. “Cool off and all?”

James wanted to see Cordelia desperately, but walking was probably a good idea. She had the carriage, she was safe, and now he had to make sure he was in a fit state to talk to her. Magnus had appeared next to Matthew—surely he wasn’t going to come along? “I think that might be for the best,” he said. “But I simply cannot stand the way I’m going to keep thinking about it, Magnus, if you would be able to tell the rest of the story I would greatly appreciate that.”

“In that case,” said Magnus as they headed for the door, “why don’t you start by telling me what you do know of that night. It is possible also, in discussing this that we may find out whether there is any implication of the spell in your behaviour.”

Sona had just gotten Zachary down for a nap when she saw her daughter’s carriage pull up to the front gate. When she stepped out—alone, without James, she looked as if she had been crying. Sona hurried to the front door before Alastair or Risa could get there first. She met Cordelia on the steps, who, once enveloped in her mother’s arms, started crying again.

“Layla? What is wrong?”

There was a pause for a while as Cordelia regained her composure. “Maman,” she said, “after you married Baba, you said there was some time before you realised the extent of his troubles. How did you realise it, that he was a hero but he was also—” she hiccupped and her eyes started filling with tears again.

That was an odd question to ask, Sona thought, but perhaps, though she was able to talk more freely about what had happened in their family now than in years past, there was more that she needed to go over with Cordelia.

“I used to find bottles hidden around the house, and he’d have these headaches often, especially when I was pregnant with Alastair and sick early on, and he wouldn’t always be able to take care of me like he always promised he would. Is there any reason you wanted to ask, Layla? Did you find out something?”

After a short silence, Sona asked, “Layla. Please tell me—you came here in your carriage, crying, on your own. Did something happen with James?”

Cordelia just stood there, blinking back tears. Sona missed when she was a child, who would come to her for things still, before she found out about Elias and spent most of her time with her friends and now husband. Sona had learned a lot about being a mother since then, and relished every opportunity to show Cordelia any kind of support she could offer.

“Come on, let’s go inside to your old room and Risa will get us some tea. I always wanted you to follow your heart, and I can tell how much you love him. Just come on upstairs, and we can figure out whatever it is. You can figure it out, I will be here to listen and make sure you know I support you in whatever you do.”

Ten minutes and a warm blanket and tea from Risa later, Cordelia had stopped crying and she was sitting on her old bed next to Sona.

“Maman,” she said, “don’t worry, James hasn’t been drinking, that’s not why I was asking about Baba. But he’s sad, he’s so sad, we all are after Christopher, and he’s troubled because of his heritage and his time at the Academy and everything with Belial last year and being parabatai with Matthew who is unhappy too. And today we were planning out a nice honeymoon with Magnus to advise us, and somehow we ended up hearing a story of one time James was drunk, over a year ago now, some things that he did and he doesn’t even remember and now he’s freaking out and I just had to leave. I don’t know how to be there for him—I can’t even look after myself. I don’t want to be on the run like you and Baba. I’m worried for James and I’m worried for myself too.”

“Oh Layla,” Sona said, rubbing her daughter’s back like she was a small child again. She was reminded, oddly, of the time she and Elias had to take the Herondale children in while Will and Tessa were attending a series of meetings in Idris—meetings that had something to do with the status and potential powers of their children, though none of the children knew their specific purpose and Sona thought it best to keep it that way. She remembered the energetic little thing that Lucie had been, finding an injured blackbird which she had rescued from a fox and insisted they nurse back to health. She remembered James, quiet as always, walking into their house with a tall stack of books and the look of someone who was carrying far too much for a child so young. The pain in Will and Tessa’s eyes as they told her he had not been treated well at the Academy and just needed space and love in equal measure, and some things she probably shouldn’t mention as they would be bad reminders. Remembered him getting the fever—Cordelia had been worried for him then, too. The way he had said his goodbyes shyly after he was feeling better, and how much more sure of himself he seemed as a charming young man, now her son-in-law, when they moved to London. Sona would always have a soft spot for that boy, even though she was loyal to Cordelia. And he was still only seventeen.

“James is only a child, Layla, and so are you. And it’s normal to grieve, after losing such a dear friend. Angel knows that I have, even though I had your father for twenty years. I know you have been grieving for him too, and now for Christopher also. You have done a very adult thing, getting married, but both of you are still children, who still need to be cared for and allowed to make mistakes. Your father was forty when I married him, and had been an adult and a hero for many years before I knew him. We all have our troubles, Layla, his were worse than most—and yet what made things most difficult was that he would refuse to confide in anyone, refuse to let anyone in, to ever tell of his pain as well as his heroism. His tales of the Basilas were the same, how heroically he had healed himself—and I believed it, for a while, until Alastair told me what he had asked of James the night that he died. I still love him, but my feelings are mixed. If you should ever need understanding in that, I am here.”

“Thank you, Maman,” said Cordelia, and they sat in silence until there was a knock at the door.

Magnus had to admit he was curious as to James’ recollection of that night, curious as he had been that night when he had forsaken warmth and relaxation to chase after the boy fourteen months prior. Not that he was counting—but the realisation of just how welcome he was with the London Shadowhunters, once the shock of seeing the state of Tatiana and Grace and even James had worn off, had warmed him in a way he didn’t know he needed. So much that he’d packed up his New York apartment, leased it out to a mundane who could keep secrets for an outrageously low price, and gone to seek the places with kind and beautiful people for a few months before winding up back in London. James seemed to feel more comfortable with his eyes on the path ahead as he talked. Shadowhunters could get emotional, Herondales more than most, and they rarely did well sitting still. Magnus found the way they burned bright to be something of a contagion, restoring his own zeal for life, and it was why he had invited Thomas Lightwood to the party he had been called away from on emergency during his brief stint in Spain a year ago.

James, it seemed, was belatedly realising that he hadn’t recognised Ragnor from the Academy, even though he couldn’t think of a logical explanation as to why. He led them expertly through the streets towards South Kensington, seeming to actually prefer to be doing two things at once. He didn’t remember anything after introducing himself to Magnus, until flashes of being carried home to the Institute. So the warming spell Magnus had used had made him sharper as well—it often had that effect.

“I just remember seeing my parents and feeling this resentful despair, a feeling I can’t quite draw up a clear memory of, but I know I felt it. I could feel them worrying for me, and I just wanted it to stop. And then I was being coaxed off the sofa because Bridget had drawn a warm bath, and all of my clothes were wet. I remember sitting in the bath, wishing I could fall asleep then and there. Then Uncle Jem gave me some medicine when I finally went to bed and I woke up in the afternoon, a little more able to face the day. I’m missing a lot, Magnus, what else did I do?”

So Magnus told the story, this time not leaving out the details he hadn’t given to Will and Tessa. He still remembered it clearly: it was an odd fever dream of a night, not the oddest experience he’d had but one of the more memorable, if bittersweet, ones during which he’d been completely sober. Matthew interjected with humour at some points, sometimes changing the topic with barely related little encouragements that were clearly very important to him. James always asked Magnus to continue his story after every interruption, though he was gradually growing paler than normal, his navigation growing more frantic. Finally, as they entered Hyde Park, Magnus got onto the conversation they had before he left.

“I just need to be alone for a bit,” James said, disappearing into the shrubbery.

“I know he doesn’t seem grateful,” said Matthew, “but he is. We are. Jamie always likes to know, and when he’s finished feeling things he’ll come up with some plan to figure out what was happening and when he has, that will be that.”

“I can look into the spell if you’d like,” Magnus said.

Matthew, uncharacteristically quiet, deposited two halves of a silver bracelet into Magnus’ hands. “Jem was asking Grace about this a while back,” he said, “and I grabbed these as we left Curzon Street. Just in case.” He smiled, a sad smile but more genuine than most Magnus had seen from Matthew, and said, “Thank you. Thank you for being there that night and saving my parabatai’s life. Thank you for being there for us even now. My father has talked highly of you for my whole life, and I have idolised your sense of fashion and adventure for years, and now you are here and I have experienced your kindness, it truly is extraordinary. I should like to be more like you as I travel the world and try daring fashions, but mostly care about those who might not be expecting it. It has been a pleasure to see you as always. Right now I have a parabatai to attend to, and then we will go and find Cordelia.”

“A Shadowhunter who will express admiration for a Downworlder is rare indeed,” Magnus said.

Matthew grinned. “I have been told I am something of an oddity. Stuffy lot, the rest of us.”

Magnus had to agree.

James did not know how long he’d been sitting here, his head laying on his arms, resting on his knees as he held his legs close to his body. He was glamoured, and so didn’t worry about concerned or judgemental mundanes. Daisy is fine, he told himself. Breathe, and you can make sure of that soon. Hyde Park surrounded him: he had known Magnus rescued him from the Serpentine that night—but it was frustrating. James always thought he couldn’t have better parents, but when they didn’t tell him important and difficult things, he wondered—mostly he wondered why. Surely they must have been worried. Surely it would be best to discuss things with him. But he remembered himself a year ago, remembered the feeling—though distant now—of being apart from Grace and the way it pained him, distracted him from anything else. He remembered how he was in winter, irritable because of the cold—even this year, with Daisy, how he had felt so much and there was little that could get him out of his own head. Last year he had tried drowning the pains he didn’t even understand with Matthew, struggling to get out of the house but feeling even more restricted inside. Last year there had been no Cordelia to ground him, not even Thomas, just Matthew taking him out to get drunk and Christopher exploding things and making him weapons that felt satisfying to break things with. It was after that night, wasn’t it, after Grace had written back the following day and he couldn’t take the worried looks his parents gave him that he spent days in the training room, leaving the Devil Tavern first to go to bed or read something at home but hardly talking to his parents when he got there. And spring had come, with longer, warmer days and less rain and snow so he could patrol on rooftops more comfortably again. Spring, like it was now, which meant summer wasn’t far off and he would see Grace. Somehow he’d survived until Cordelia came. Gotten used to the ache in his chest and found it within himself to be kind until it felt a little more manageable. But that had taken time. No, maybe he couldn’t blame his parents for not telling him about that night.

There was a rustle of leaves now and he could feel Matthew’s presence. He let himself feel the relief that came from having one’s parabatai nearby for a while, then lifted his head up and rested it on Matthew’s shoulder.

“Magnus is investigating the curse,” Matthew said. “He told me that given the nature of the bracelet it is likely that it was controlling your mind in some way, more than just your feelings about Grace—making you feel things that you otherwise wouldn’t, and stopping you from thinking about what you otherwise might. He says you likely have little to worry about, but he’d like to come back in a few days to examine if any residue of magic has been left on you, just in case.”

Matthew paused.

“But the things you did with whatever you were feeling were still you. They were likely what anyone would do in those circumstances—and I wanted to apologise, Jamie, for never seeing how odd it is. For trying to get you to have fun with me when it never really was fun for you.”

“It wasn’t fun for you either, Math,” James guessed. “We were both escaping things and you can’t blame yourself for me, nor for the fact we got split up. You gave Magnus the bracelet I assume? Very enterprising of you, though I shouldn’t be surprised.”

Matthew nodded, and out of the corner of his eye James saw him smile at the compliment. “I was going to ask you first, and then—“

“No, you made the right call. I think I need to ask Uncle Jem about this. And then my parents—I thought the confrontation with them was over, about what—what had been done to me, but it seems that worried parents are a constant fixture in my life, even if I don’t live with them.”

Matthew flinched very slightly at this, and James wondered if he had been insensitive. “Are you okay, Math?”

“I am as long as you’re okay. And I’m not sure if you are.”

A few months ago James might have just lied and said he was fine, shutting down conversation about feelings he didn’t understand and if he stopped to think about it, often felt judged and misunderstood for. Now everyone important to him know that he had been under a spell and—maybe even if they didn’t fully understand, they respected him enough to want to listen. They thought he was brave, and he was beginning to come to terms with what that might mean.

“Math,” he said. “It was winter. The Serpentine was frozen, a thin crust of ice I would have had to step through. If it had been anyone but Magnus I would have died of hypothermia.”

“I thought you didn’t care about that,” Matthew said, and the raw honestly in his voice broke James’ heart. “I thought, this is the gamble I made, being parabatai with the little brooding Herondale boy who avoided people at the Academy, at parties, who hated me at first because I was so charming—and yet was more stubborn and resilient than anyone I knew. Who was kind in a cruel world and grew up to be an incredible friend, stayed such a good person yet told me nothing of how you felt. I thought you understood me better than anyone but maybe you would never truly be ready for anyone to understand you and I should just be grateful for the good times which were more than I deserved anyway.”

James wrapped his arms around Matthew. “I’m sorry. I had no idea you thought that. I do understand how scary it must have been, because all this time I have been afraid of losing you. Carrying you home from various bars and clubs and having my parents worry about me being the one who was out late—I couldn’t tell them that I feared for you. Assignations with older men and women—and I know Downworlders aren’t dangerous, necessarily, but some of them are bitter, justifiably so, and might find it funny to hurt the Consul’s son. Feeling a shadow over you keeping you behind a wall from me, more and more until you were holding me up like you always did but I had no idea how to help you, or if one day it would become too much for you to bear.”

“I’m sorry,” Matthew said. He hardly ever apologised.

“I’m sorry too,” James said, “because you did deserve to have a parabatai who let you in. As much as I know it’s not my fault that I couldn’t, and it’s still hard even now—let me try to make it up to you.”

Matthew was silent, speechless for once, but James felt his parabatai’s—anger? Perhaps it was simply residual stress. Then he said, “You’ve told everyone now, haven’t you?”

James supposed he had. His friends, his parents had been the hardest, Uncle Gabriel and Aunt Cecily—that had gone better than he had thought—and now, almost without meaning to. Magnus. Who was doing now what probably should have been done all along, figuring out if there was any remnant of the spell on James and what had happened that night. “I guess—I have.” James thought he should feel lighter, and he did, in a way, but mostly he felt dread and shock about today’s revelation. He needed time to process it.

“Sometimes it happens,” Matthew said, and there was trepidation in his voice as if he was sharing something very personal or painful, “that people get this wild burst of energy and do things without thinking, without concern for their safety or anyone else’s. It lasts for maybe a few days or even weeks and is often followed by sadness and tiredness. It happens, people have written about it.”

James had heard about this. When Cordelia’s father had been in the Basilas he had read some cases of people who were there to make sure he could comfort her if she ever worried about her father. He had read about similar stories before, too, both Shadowhunters and mundanes in the years after the Academy: some who were terrifying in their madness, who hurt others without even realising what they were doing, and others who were excluded from society for being a little odd or sad. Some were blamed for things that they didn’t do simply because they were different, and, after realising at thirteen years old how cruel the world could be, James had found from these stories that he was not alone. With family and friends by his side James had slowly worked up the courage to start over. He had done so then, and he was doing it again now. But if he might sometimes hurt people, mundanes, without realising it—

Stop. Focus on the present.

“I think we have to wait for Magnus to find out more about the spell. Hopefully that made it worse than it would have otherwise been—I don’t see the need to assume that’s what happened to me.”

“Jamie,” Matthew said, “I’ve even asked Christopher about it. About when I burned down the academy and asked you to be parabatai. About the nights I spent at the Shadow Market all those years ago with no regard to my safety. When I bought that potion. I think that’s what might have been happening to me.”

“Oh Math. You’re—“ James was about to say you’re just energetic, running after excitement and being entertaining and dramatic is just a part of who you are, tell Matthew that he’d always looked out for James’ safety even when he himself didn’t—

But he thought about the Matthew who hid behind his charming smile and constant movement, the shadow that had hung over him for years, the sorrow in his heart he felt alongside his own. Soul-sickness, Matthew had called it.

“You know if that has happened to you it doesn’t change who you are one bit. You’re kind and generous and so brave and whatever you’ve done, any time you weren’t yourself, none of it changes who you are.”

“Believe that for yourself too, Jamie,” Matthew said, “no matter what happens with this, no matter the reasons why. I wasn’t even under a demonic spell and I—I almost killed Alastair. He remembers it.”

James did not remember it. “What? When?”

“I put some of his belongings in the south wing of the school when I mixed the explosives for Christopher to blow it up. And I told him about it—you were there Jamie—and he was very nearly going to fetch them when the whole thing blew up. And yet he still saved my life, over in Westminster Abbey when we were trying to get Cordelia to you.”

James had not realised this at the time. He must have been distracted, lost in his own head. How many things did he not remember? And yet he remembered the carriage ride home, Matthew asking him to be parabatai and the warmth that filled him and made him think that maybe he wouldn’t completely be alone, maybe someday things would be okay. He still kept the shirt wore that day, that day he realised that despite everything that had gone wrong Matthew had chosen him. He remembered running around with Matthew for hours after they had gotten home, stopping to spy on his father and Uncle Gabriel arguing about the stolen carriage and then running around more with Lucie, telling her the good news, Christopher arriving still crying about how he blew up the school, comforting him, telling him they were going to be parabatai and the way his face had lit up all of a sudden and he said “Thomas thought you would.”

He had not thought about how that day might have been for Alastair, having his things blown up and almost getting blown up himself too. On one hand James didn’t blame Matthew after what Alastair was like at the Academy, and on the other hand, Alastair had apologised to him that day. He still remembered that. And the thought of how hurt Cordelia would be at the prospect of her brother getting hurt—not to mention Matthew having this on his conscience—

“Thank the Angel he wasn’t in that building,” James said.

Matthew just nodded. “Thank the Angel Magnus was there to get you home safely.”

James wished that hearing about that night didn’t set him on edge as much as it did, horror at the thought of hurting mundanes and what if it happened again? How would he explain it to Cordelia? The knowledge that he had gone into the Shadow Realm then. It didn’t happen anymore, at least—but to have happened and him not remember it, right in the middle of what he had thought had been the longest he’d gone without it happening was jarring. During the years he’d spent under the bracelet’s spell, he might not have been so shaken by this, the thought of those mundanes and Downworlders who had done nothing wrong, and yet he’d treated them as if hurting them was some kind of twisted entertainment. James didn’t doubt the truth of what Magnus had told him. And yet—part of him wished he could simply assume it wasn’t true. The thought of having done all of these things and not even remembering them perhaps made it worse than if he did. He couldn’t justify it to himself, couldn’t justify it to anyone else. What had been going through his head at the time?

“Jamie, breathe,” Matthew said. “Remember what you told me after I told you of what I did. What would you say if it was me who had done those things? No one was seriously hurt—would you not simply be glad I made it home safely? You hold yourself to such high standards. Some things are not worth fussing over.”

Even after his confession. Matthew was still trying to comfort James. He was so lucky Matthew had chosen him to be parabatai. Focus on what you can do now. You can do good things, good for the mundanes and Downworlders, James told himself. He could do a lifetime of good: now, at almost eighteen, freed from the spell he had been under so he could feel love and compassion fully. But first.

“I think I’m ready to go find Cordelia.”

#james herondale #magnus bane #cordelia carstairs #matthew fairchild #the midnight heir #mental health headcanons #the last hours fanfic #nothing but shadows #because it kinda resolves some of that too

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