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#and carmy never forgetting that
sluttyhenley · 4 months
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Carmy's stuck in the walk-in? Alright. So what are we gonna do?
THE BEAR | 2x10 The Bear
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thecapricunt1616 · 3 months
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Chapter One The Bear & His Honey
Summary: Carmy + Winnie meet, He obviously tries to weasel his way into her heart by cooking for her.
A/N: Eeeep! I am sooo excited to be writing again, i've written fic's since like 2010 & stopped for quite a while, But Carmen has awoken the beast in me once more LOL !!! It's not without much thanks and love to @daysofyellowroses - Her encouragement & excitement for my ideas has inspired me in the most beautiful way. Give her a follow please! Her fic's genuinely are sososooooooo good that they made me want to start writing myself again, The theme and overall organization of her works is immaculate, I admire her works so much! I highly encourage any Carmy lover to take a look!! She is also such a doll!! And so so sooo sweet!!!
Anyhow, I love longer fics - this chapter is nearing 6k words & it initially started as a one shot, so reader be warned I am very wordy!
Warnings; Cursing, ehh I think thats it? Oh! Smoking Cigarettes & The green stuff, but thats all! *We will be getting VERY spicy, angsty, and sickeningly fluffy in this story - if that isn't your cup, ask me anything if you like my style! I am only writing for Carm at this second, but I will be writing ACOTAR & likely other things as I wet my pallate - it's been years for me, but if you have an idea that you want to throw my way, or just wanna talk (even if you just need someone!) I'm here for you peeps! Without further ado- let the show begin.
(Comments + Reblogs + Kind critiques are not only appreciated, but heavily encouraged!)
𝒞𝒽𝑒𝒸𝓀 𝒪𝓊𝓉 𝑀𝓎 𝑀𝒶𝓈𝓉𝑒𝓇𝓁𝒾𝓈𝓉!
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One
I took a deep breath, the dry, late winter air sticking my nostrils together momentarily- fuck. I hate this god-damned weather. I shuffle across the street, my boots mushing through the late-winter Chicago slush. I slosh into the alley, my boots squelching with every step. I trudge across the street, nearly gagging at every soggy step, feeling my socks ever so slowly become wet. 
I sludge my way finally to the (god-blessed, shoveled) alley across the way, that connected The Next Page to the street in front of it, and hear a muttered “fuck” & my eyes lift from the locked spot on my salty, wet boots. They meet the side-profile of an undeniably handsome curly dirty blonde male, my eyes rolling, as he pats his pockets down. I assume he forgot his light. 
As I approached him, I piped up. “Missin’ somethin’?” I flick my pink lighter to life with my thumb, My eyes meeting his large blue ones. He leans forward, gently lighting his cigarette between my thumb and the flame. “Thanks” he muttered, sucking on the cigarette between his lips, his eyes locked on me. 
“Y’ smoke?” he questioned. I shook my head gently, “Not cigarettes, but I’m bout’ to eat, s’why not?” I slipped the small tin from my pocket, pulling a shorty from the box. I put it between my lips, leaning in close, touching the joint tip to the burning end of his cigarette gently, and took a slow drag once it was fully lit.
“Work here?” I motion at the building next to us with my chin, smoke spilling from my lips as I speak. His white t-shirt made me guess he could be a line cook or a bus boy at the restaurant that had been crowding the block the past few months. He nodded, a large puff of smoke leaving his lips, the edges of his lips upturning a bit into a smile. 
“Mhmm, own it.” he said casually, taking another drag, my eyebrows raising. “Hmm,” I hummed, smoke puffing from my nose obviously in the winter air. “Wow, from the shirt- thought you’re a busboy, quite the humble owner mm’?” I teased, a smile dancing on my lips as I pulled another puff of my joint. “Yea- guess so” he teased, shrugging lightly. 
“My boss comes by once in a blue moon, so either you’re a grade-A asshole, or have crippling OCD and you think your business is gonna fail.” I teased, blowing smoke past his left as I leaned against the brick wall. He chuckled, “Alright, well- Sugar says I’m OCD whatever the fuck that means, so you got me” he shrugged. I laughed. “I can so see it, what’s your name?” I asked. 
His eyes flutter to my lips, before meeting my eyes again. “Carmen.” He replied, putting his cigarette back to his lips and taking a deep drag. “Winnie..” I replied nibbling the inside of my lip gently. Carmen. Carmen. Carmen. The word echoed in my mind like an invocation. “Winnie” he repeated, smoke spilling from his lips in tendrils.
“Full name?” He questioned. A heat rose to my cheeks and I rolled my eyes, gaze flicking to my sneakers as I took another drag of my joint. “Winnow. Shut up, if you laugh, I’ll cut off your dick. My parents were never married, not sure what they were thinking.” I mutter, the tips of my ears heating in embarrassment. “Mmm” he hummed.
I look back up at him, “No slick comments?” I asked, genuinely surprised. He shrugged. “Winnow is pretty, people make fun of that?” He questioned, dropping the mostly burnt cigarette to the ground and crushing it with his chef's clog. My cheeks felt like they were on fire. “A dude named Carmen, not used t’ people pokin’ at your name?” my glance meets his.
His arms were now crossed over his chest, his delicious biceps becoming more prominent. “Go by Carm, mostly” he shrugged. Carm. “Hmm.” I hummed. “Carm. Suits you.” I said, my eyes grazing over the tattoos adorning his arms. “Yeah?” his tongue grazed his lips, a smirk pulling at the corners. 
“Mhhmm” I reach out, my finger brushing over the ‘773’ on his arm. “From ‘round here huh?” I questioned, my eyes meeting his blue ones once more. “Ye’, east side” he said, to which I nodded. “Sorry, don’t know too much, from New York.” I said, my arms crossing over my own chest. 
“Yeah? Where about? Did culinary school out there.” he replied. “Rochester” I nod, my accent coming out slightly. “Ah, alright. Like yourself a garbage plate?” he teased. I laughed, a real laugh, something few and far between these days. “Wow, so you really went to school out there eh’? I do actually, know how that came to?” I asked my fingers finding a loose string on my jacket to fiddle with.
“Not at all, thought it was a myth- you really eat that shit out there?” he joked. I giggled. “Don’t make me hit you, Yes! We do, so story goes, frat guys stumble all drunk in to Nick Tahoes, and they tell the line cook to give ‘em the plate with ‘all the garbage’ on it. And so, since it was closing time, they took all the carby leftovers they were gonna throw out, and threw em on a plate- the guys loved it” he grimaced playfully “eugh! Guys never heard of a burger?” 
 I laughed again “there is a burger, Carm! mmm,” I hum my eyes closing and head falling back at the memory of such a comfort meal. “oh my god, mac salad, cold! Has to be cold, Carm, then you do baked beans,” I paused at his brows furrowing “Don’t look at me like that, asshole” I shove his shoulder playfully, earning a chuckle. 
“No- nope keep on explaining your… catastrophe” he teased, I gasped, feigning a shot to the heart. “Wow, Carmy, you know how to flatter a girl huh? Insulting the indigenous dish of her homeland?!” I joked, causing him to really laugh. A beautiful sound I wanted to hear more often. “Ok, ok, so then you add the homefries, then - the house chilli, ohhh my god!” I groaned my head falling back “Soo, so good, then, you add on a burger patty, or a hotdog, or both if you feel frisky” he laughed again, his eyes crinkling adorably.
“How often do you feel frisky mm? Or are you a more tame girl?” he teased. I smacked the side of his jaw gently with a large bashful smile adorning my lips, “Carmen! You do not ask a lady how often she gets frisky!” I giggled, poking his muscular chest gently. “Ok, ok, keep going- or is that the end of the abomination?” he questioned and I dug my knuckle into his chest playfully.
“Nope!! Then you add chopped onions, ketchup, and mustard!!” I grinned and he grimaced jokingly. “Holy Jesus, your breath could knock out an army after that I’d bet” he teased earning another true laugh from me. “I swear, you own his place? If you thought you were busy before- add a garbage plate to the menu, and you’ll be rich, Carmen” I adjusted the Saint Anthony chain around his neck gently, so the pendant was facing front. 
His cheeks got a bit flushed. “Well, i’m makin’ a new dessert menu, if you wanted to come in and check it out, How bout’ I make you a garbage plate, well, the Carmen-Garbage plate, we don’t do chilli here, but I think you’ll like what I pull together” he offered. 
I took another drag of my joint, contemplating. “Alright. Shops been slow today so, Mel won’t notice if I sneak an extra few minutes in” i put out the nub on the wall, before dropping it and crushing it under the toe of my boot. 
“C’mon” he nods, pulling open the large metal door that leads into the kitchen.
Read Chapter 2 Here!
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glitterslag · 9 months
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Obsessed with the implication that fak and carmy have been best friends for years. I can't stop imagining them in high school together as these two inseparable, weird nerdy kids who are like never seen without the other. They'd probably be the kind of kids who run around pretending to battle each other with lightsabers during recess (cute, right? Although not many people seem to think so when they're still doing that shit at 16 lmaoo).
And in class, you just know they'd be paying absolutely zero attention, getting diabolical grades without fail and not caring one bit cause they're too busy with their autistic shenanigans in the back row of desks. Most of the time it's Fak infodumping abt video games while Carmy just goes non verbal and draws all over his textbooks. They're good kids, mostly, but occasionally they do partake in clowning the teachers or throwing paper at the back of the popular kids' heads
Anyways they're so lame I love them like sons 💘💘
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brzatto · 10 months
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having a carmy type of night (listening to old dance gavin dance)
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ohcaptains · 3 months
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So like the video of Gordon Ramsay when the girl burns her hand, all the “that’s it- deep breath- calm down- good girl- goooood girlllll” but like…it’s Carmy and you’ve burnt your hand and he’s screaming at Richie to get some ice but he’s speaking to you so gently but so in control and you almost forget your hand is still sizzling
he moves fast. pulls you to the sink, yelling, “richie get out of the fucking way,” and you can feel your heart beat in your hand. it’s pulsating, swear you can smell your flesh burning, and carmen is frantic. that man has never known peace, but this is raw kind of rush — panic a literal, physical thing.
“fuck, cousin, what’s the rush for—“ he starts, ready to fight, but he must see carmen holding your sizzling hand, and your pained, tense face, because he puts his hands up.
“whoa, man—what happened?”
carmen ignores him, and guides your hand under the tap, holding your wrist gently in his tatted palm. you hiss as soon as it touches the luckwarm water, and carmen nods his head, and gently says, “shh, i know.”
you hide your face with your elbow, but peak over and watch as water runs over your charred hand. duck fat will do that. you must make a sound, as carmen nods, and calmly orders, “relax your hand for me. come on, unclench. thereee we go, sweetheart. that’s it.”
richie pipes up, “i’m literally first aid trained, let me see,” and carmen’s face scrunches up, “can you shut the fuck up for a second?” he spits over his shoulder. you whine into your elbow, and carmen’s demeanor switches. he rubs your wrist, his voice soft and sweet as he coos, “just breathe, take a deep breath. you’re good, that’s it. unclench your hand for me again, i know it hurts but relax—thaaat’s it, goood. good girl, good.”
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sunflowersteves · 7 months
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kinktober day 003 — first bj
pairing || carmen berzatto x f!reader
summary || Carmen knew you were a bit inexperienced, so what better way than to show you how?
author’s note || first day of kinktober for me!! ❥ i hope you all enjoy as much as I did writing for carmen again. I haven't written anything in like,,, three months?? wowwow
warnings || fluff, inexperienced reader, SMUT, oral sex, blowjob, praise kink, [18+ only]
kinktober masterlist
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Carmy could tell you were nervous.
There was something about the way that you looked out the window of the car. There was a certain shine in your eyes that didn’t really match the expression on your face.
He looked away from the road in a quick glance. A hand flew through his hair and his fingers only tangled the curls even more. He bites his lip as the endless amount of scenarios crowded into his brain.
What were you thinking? Were you thinking about him? Was it bad? Did he fuck something up at the restaurant?
His mind was only getting louder at the soft quiet sounds of the car continuing to roll onto the asphalt. He couldn’t take it much longer—especially as he took another glance at you.
He pulled the car over and shifted the gear into park.
“Carmy? What are you—”
He turned to stare at you, blue eyes entirely wide.
“Do you not like me?” He huffed out. “B-Because I wouldn’t mind, you know. Like-like I mean, I get it. I know I’m hard to like since I can’t really—”
His mouth snaps shut at the sound of your laughter bubbling up to the surface. You didn’t mean to laugh, but there was something comical about what he thought you were thinking and what you were actually thinking.
By the time you calm down, his cheeks has a tinge of pink. “That’s not what I’m thinking about, bear. Far from it.”
Oh.
Whew.
His right eyebrow furrows, then. “What were you thinking about?”
Now it was your turn to become shy, your mouth was left open in an attempt to explain. A wave of warmth washes over you as you thought of the scenes that played through your head.
“I—” You looked over at him as if to ask if you really had to tell him. With that gleam in his eyes, you knew you had to.
“I was imagining how your dick would taste.” You blurted out.
He stared at you in shock. His brain seemed to freeze in time. The sparkle in your eyes wasn’t that of melancholy, it was arousal.
His silence was starting to make you nervous. He was making you nervous. “B-But if you’re not comfortable with that then I totally understand. I- you know, I haven’t done a blowjob before so I understand and—let’s forget about it, okay? Let’s just—”
Your rambling becomes interrupted when his lips crashed against yours. Your hands tangled themselves into his fluffy hair. His arms pulled you forward to the middle of the console—as close to him as he could.
“Fuck,” he breathes out against your lips. His lips can’t help put follow yours into another searing kiss. He was definitely addicted. “Sweet, sweet girl. You were just desperate, huh?”
You nodded. He couldn’t help but kiss you again and again. He had never felt so loved before. “Pretty girl.” He whispered against your lips.
As he separated the kiss, you stared into his eyes. They were almost black—a stark contrast from the bright blue that you know so well. His pupils were large and the way he licked his lips seemed to acknowledge that he wanted to devour you.
Carmen swiftly unbuckles his belt and shimmies off his restaurant slacks. His cock throbs at the cool air that rushes against him.
You, on the other hand, can’t stop staring. You’ll never stop staring.
You looked at the sheer girth of his cock—the way it swells against his palm. Your mouth watered by the pre-cum that sprouted against the tip. The vein on the side of his cock was prominent, gleaming near the tip.
You never noticed Carmy staring at you in awe. “You’re going to be the death of me, baby. Fucking god—”
Anxiety started to cloud your mind a bit. You wanted so desperately to please your pretty boyfriend. “But, Carmen, what if it doesn’t feel good for you?”
He almost wanted to laugh, but he’s glad he stopped himself. You were it for him. The person that he confides in, that he leans onto, and not to mention that he gets a boner from just by walking by him.
You were the one person in the entire world that he could never get tired of. To him, the idea of your mouth on his cock and it wouldn’t feel good? That’ll be when pigs fly.
“I’ll tell you what to do, okay? I’ve got you, baby.”
You smile at him as the weight on your shoulder lifts. It’s just carmy—your carmy.
You didn’t want to wait anymore precious time, so you rested your elbows against the console, leaning as close to him as possible.
He pressed a few kisses to your cheek and temple, letting you know to take your time. You didn’t want to, though.
“You’re so big, Carmy.” You whined. He could feel his cock jump at the way your mouth seemed to water. He watched you with hazed eyes as you gently licked the tip. He moaned at the warm feeling of your tongue.
“Fuck, please do more, sweet girl.”
His begging had only spurred you on. You could feel the way your underwear became wetter by the second. You take him him fully inside of your mouth, suctioning your mouth on his member.
“Swirl your tongue, baby—yeah, fuck.” You do exactly as he says, all while bobbing your head up and down. “Such a good girl.”
You weren’t even halfway on his cock, but he didn’t care. He’ll eventually train your throat, but for now? For now, he’s relishing in the way your mouth feels and how an inch of your touch is sending him into a spiral.
He moaned and groaned at the feeling of your mouth on his tip. The way your spit gave just enough lubricant to send his eyes rolling back into his head. “You sure you’ve never done this before, baby?” He slurred. “‘Cause fuck me—”
Your eyes flicker to his as you try to take him even further. His hips accidentally stutter into your mouth at the slick, wet feeling of your mouth.
“Holy, fuck—shit—you wanna take my whole cock, huh? You want to fit it all?”
You weren’t able to answer him, so he pushes your head off of cock and makes you look into his eyes.
The desperation leaks from his voice. “I need—I need you to say it, baby. I need you to say how much you want my cock.”
Your messy, swollen lips parted. You’re completely out of breath, but you don’t care—not with that glossy look in your eyes.
“Please, carmy. I wanna suck your cock so bad. I-I want to take all of it, please.”
Carmen could only groan and whimper from the way that you begged. It was sweet and sultry—he thought he might explode. “You make me fucking crazy, sweet girl. I’m already about to fucking cum.” You press slow kisses into his cock, accentuating your lips onto his sensitive areas.
You let out a loud whine as he gently pulls your head away from his cock. You wanted to have your mouth full of him again and to take that from you?
He soothed your desperate cries with a sweet kiss. His gentle lips fell right on top of yours—his mind savoring the moment.
“Want to cum in your mouth, baby. Is that okay?”
Your mouth opens almost automatically from the pure, raw arousal that yourcbody is radiating. “Please, carmy.”
He quickly moves his seat all the way back, making that extra room for you. Your mouth is directly below his cock, waiting for the salty substance.
He wraps his hand around his member, slowly pumping his swollen cock. “You look so fucking gorgeous like that, you know that? Fucking shit, I can’t stop looking at you.”
You smiled brightly up at him. You then started to open your mouth as wide as you could. “Cum in my mouth, Carmy. I need it.”
He continues pumping over and over, the whimpers he lets out are the only sound you seem to hear. You want to hear it more.
“Fuck, baby—shit—” He spills his cum into your mouth, forever and ever it seemed to leak onto your lips.
Some of it had even spurted on the outside of your mouth. His eyes widened as he watched the way you took every drop on your finger and licked it right off.
“Are you real?” He asks, dreamily looking at you.
You laugh. You pressed a gentle hand onto his cheek. “I’m real. Are you?”
He smiles down at you. “Yeah, I’m real.”
He moves his seat up and you both transition back to your seats. You wiped your mouth, just as Carmen finished buttoning up his pants.
“Ready to go home, baby?” His hand finds yours.
You smiled. Home sounded nice. Home sounded nice with him.
“Yeah, bear. Let’s go home.”
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writers-hes · 9 months
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i need you (2 of 2) | c. berzatto x reader
It was good when you started but Carmen Berzatto had the ability to make anyone fall in love with him no matter how much you tried not to...maybe this time he feels the same? (friends with benefits!carmen, smut, mndi!!!, unprotected p in v, smut! smut!, angst!! fluff, maybe some bad words, canon typical themes, unedited)
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PART ONE / navigation
Sorry for the things I said. 
I appreciate you. 
He erases the messages that he wanted to send. It was tempting…
The flowers he let die mocks him by the stove. It was a fire hazard he knew; but if this room burned down, would you come over to check if he was doing well? 
His eyes look ahead, empty. Ever since that incident in the kitchen weeks ago, the Chefs have been on edge. Who wouldn’t be? He was cutting away those vegetables like he just didn’t cut his hand. He decided to forget about you…for now. But it was hard, considering the fact that your artwork hung in The Bear like a mantlepiece. A mantlepiece for others but he sees it like a crufix and he, a sinner with no redemption. It mocks him of his mistakes…of what he said. Everything seemd to mock him. 
Ever since that bloody incident in the kitchen a few days ago, Carmy made sure to never commit a mistake again. Every second counts, every second counts…every second he counted was spent on you. 
Were you alright? Were you in Chicago? Did you still need him? Or were you alright since he's finally out of your life?
You’re so fucking miserable. 
It rang in his head because he knew that it was true. He was—is miserable. He made everyone around him just as miserable as he was. He could never grasp the intensity of his feelings; could never seem to grasp anything. He thinks to himself to just fuck it all and go to you and grovel…but he just couldn’t. He knew he wanted more. He was well aware of his feelings for you but to think that he made a mess of everything that he could ever have was hard to swallow. 
Carmy has the habit of hiding from his allies. He can’t control his emotions but sometimes, he bides his time hoping to fix it. He tries to wait for the perfect time to fix what he burned but…it’s been too long since you last saw each other. It’s been too long since he sent you a message.
Would you still love me? 
You weren’t doing any better. Carmen, despite his refusal to love, was warm. He’s the sun shining on a cold winter day; the warmth that spreads all over your body from the kiss that he leaves on your shoulder. You missed him dearly, but you couldn’t have it in you to reach out first when it was him who didn’t love you. 
The realization of Carmen not loving you back was bearable at first but to see it right in front of your eyes…to be on the receiving end of his rejection was more than what you could comprehend. 
In a span of those months without Carmen, you felt…like there was a gaping Carmen Berzatto-shaped hole inside your heart that only he could fix. You’ve been in and out of Chicago to forget about him, but you couldn’t. At the end of the day, you were just as miserable as when you first realized that you'd fallen for him. Was it asking for too much when you asked him to still be your friend? The more he pushed you away, the more you were convinced that you didn’t matter to him at all. 
Is it too late for me to love you? 
You’ve been surrounding yourself with work; painting in your studio for what felt like years until you were sure that your fingers were gonna fall off.
If walls could talk, they’d tell the world of Carmen Berzatto. 
You’ve been purging yourself of anything Carmy and you found yourself painting every single food he’s ever made for you. It was all that you could do to relieve yourself of the sobs that choked you at night; when you didn’t want to acknowledge that the man you loved didn’t love you back. You should have been fine—you were expecting this. You were anticipating this but you still wondered what it would be like to be loved by him. You still wondered what it would feel like to hold his hand in the streets of Chicago. You wondered how his hand would feel on your knee while he drives back home. You wondered what it felt like to be loved by him. 
-
You were meeting some art collector today—he seems to be keen on commissioning you for your work and you accepted. He was supposed to arrive in Chicago to meet you and to try a new restaurant that everyone’s been raving about. He said that he already had a reservation for three but he couldn’t go and told you to meet with his art consultant, Isaac on his stead.  
You should’ve known from the context clues that you’ll be landing in a place you didn’t want to go to. You should’ve been smarter because maybe, if you did, you wouldn’t be sitting at The Bear, waiting for your frozen grapes and bone broth. Surprise was one word to describe Natalie’s face when she saw you. 
“So, how did you realize you wanted to pursue art?” 
“Oh,” you licked your lips. “I guess, I wanted to pursue it all my life. It was something that I was good at and…and I can’t really cook well. I liked how food was presented and how empty dinner plates look sometimes, you know. It didn’t take long for me to collaborate with chefs and restaurants and…”
“Is that your piece?” Isaac asked. “I’m sorry, I just—wow. Do you think the manager will let me come nearer to inspect it?”
You smiled at him. 
“Um, yeah.” you nod. Richie comes by and stops by your table.
“Good evening, guys,” he greets. “Y/N, it’s been a while.”
“Hey, Rich,” you waved.
“We’ll get you started with frozen grapes in a minute,” he says. “How’s your night? Didn’t know I’d find you here.”
“Oh, this is Isaac. Isaac, Richie.”
Isaac stands up to shake Richie’s hand.
“Do you want to go see the painting? It’s even more detailed up close,” Richie said, ushering Isaac to the painting. He throws you a look as if to ask for your permission but you just smiled at him. Your knee was bouncing under the table, trying to calm yourself down. Richie walks back to your table. 
“You know he’s not going to like that,”
“I’m in a business meeting,” you shrugged. “Isaac is an art consultant and his boss told us he couldn’t come. Do you need to see my text messages?”
“I know, I’m not fucking accusing you of anything. Don’t be defensive,” Richie says, putting his hands up in surrender.
“Sorry,” you mumbled. “But had I known that we were going here, I would’ve suggested another place. I don’t want to be here either.” Richie looks for the object of your focus, seeing your eyes zero in on the painting you gave to Carmen.
“We all love the painting. Carmy loves it. He looks at it every day before opening,” he offers but you only shrug. If he loved the painting so much, why didn’t he text you? “You should’ve thrown it at me instead of throwing it at the back. Could’ve earned thousands on that one,” you chuckled, telling him that it probably would. He sees Isaac come back to the table after marvelling at your painting. Richie smiles tightly and tells him that starters will be served shortly. 
-
“Yo, Y/N’s outside. We have to bring our A game!” Richie shouts in the kitchen. “Make her first time here an experience. Fak, make sure that the lamp over Y/N and Isaac isn’t too hot and then, ask if you could serve them some drinks.”
“Okay,” Fak nods, fixing his hair to make sure that he was presentable. It takes a bit for Carmy to register what Richie was saying and he blinks. 
“Wait, hold up. Cousin. Who’s here? Y/N…she’s here?” Carmy asked, taking the teapot of bone broth. “With…with who?”
“Isaac,” Richie replied, he was watching Carmy fix his hair and his uniform. What an asshole. 
“Carmy! Don’t fucking—go,” Sydney whispers the last part, looking pointedly at Richie once Carmy leaves with the fucking teapot. “Really, Richie? Tonight? You want to play fucking games tonight?” she asked. “Need I remind you of the bloody chopping board? Sweeps hasn’t removed the stains out yet,”
“What?” he shrugs. “Everyone’s been on edge since they stopped talking. It’s nice to take a breather,” Richie saw the realization dawn on Sydney’s face and he smirks. “Right, chefs! It will take Carmy two minutes to go do his alpha whatever fucking bullshit outside. That’s two minutes of easy time. I’ll need focaccia for Y/N’s table after the fucking grapes. Make sure that the dishes are warm, chefs! Every second counts,”
-
“Good evening,” he greets, a tight smile on his face. He catches the way your smile falls slowly into a frown. 
“Carmen,” you replied. 
“Finally had the time to visit,” he says. “With a date?”
“Ah, no,” you replied. “Isaac is my customer’s art consultant and he’s uh,”
“Here to make a deal,” Isaac replied. “It’s an honor to meet you, Mr. Berzatto.”
“Here’s your broth with the-the grapes,” he says, shakily pouring it over the frozen grapes. “Hope you, uh, enjoy the evening, Y/N. Isaac,”
He turns to leave but pauses.
“Um, sorry, Y/N can I have a word with you?” he asked. “Please,”
You swallowed. “Um—“ 
Isaac saw your apprehension. “It’s okay. You’re friends…right? I’ll stay here,”
“Sure. I’ll take two minutes. I’m so sorry,” you apologized before letting him lead you to the kitchen. “Hi, guys. Sorry for interrupting,”
“It’s fine,” Richie says, smiling at you sweetly. 
“Carmy, we can talk later, okay? Your kitchen needs you,” you tried. You’ve been saying that to him even before your entrance to the kitchen, but he only shakes his head. 
“Just…two minutes,” he says. “Please,”
“Carmen…”
“Please,” he tried. He didn’t really want his staff to see him grovel even though he knew that this was bringing them some sort of a sadistic joy. 
“Sorry, everyone,” you forced out, but Sydney was actually thankful to get Carmen out of the kitchen for a few minutes. If it was possible, Carmy was even more unreasonable. His standards were tip top. A second too long was a second too much. He and Sydney have been screaming at each other every night; the volume of their voices louder by the second. 
You followed him into the office, being reminded of the hurtful words you’ve said to each other. He locks the door, and runs a hand over his face.
“What…what are you doing here?” he scowls. 
“I’m a paying customer. I can go wherever I want,”
“With him? What are you doing here with him?” he asked, hands on his waist to show his impatience. You decided to make him wait and he does, urging you to answer by raising his eyebrows. 
“I don’t think it matters to you,” you replied. “I can go eat wherever I want. I can afford it,”
“I’m-I’m not saying that you can’t. Just-just tell me why here?”
“Why are you so bothered? You can’t question every guy you see me with, Carm,” you reasoned out. “You told me you didn’t love me. I don’t think it’s necessary for you to still know where I go and who I spend time with.” He flinches at your tone. You’ve never talked to him like that before. You were always so gentle. So, for you to disregard him and not even give a reason why, an icy glare thrown his way…was mean.
“I can kick you out,” he spits. You scowl at him; he’s never been the subject of your anger and right now, you were seething. 
“So, kick me out,” you challenged him, meeting his eyes with the dort of ferocity that he never expected from you. He stays silent, looking at the floor. He didn’t want you to hate him more than you already do. “I thought so,”
-
Urgent and demanding raps on your door broke you from your reviere. You liked painting in silence; it soothes you from the loudness of the world outside. You sighed, knowing immediately who was on the other side. Your breath was shaky, and you tried to walk slowly towards the door. What would you even say to him? 
Carmy was a jittering mess on the other side. He couldn’t get you out of his head ever since you visited The Bear a few days ago. He was watching from the other side after service, seeing you laugh at whatever Isaac said. He was making you laugh when that was reserved to Carmen alone…months ago before he ruined everything he ever wanted. He waits with bated breath as you open the door. He used to be able to just come inside your house whenever he wanted. You used to wait for him with a small smile on your face. It is all gone now. You looked tired; like you didn’t want him there at all. 
“Can I come in?” he asked but he didn’t miss the way you shielded your body with the door. He didn’t miss the way your eyebrows furrowed slightly. 
“Sure.” Sure. Like you didn’t have any other choice but to deal with him right now. Sure. 
“Thanks,” he licks his lips, putting his shoes on the side like he used to. Your home was clean but it was devoid of anything. The lights were barely on and the music that used to play from your vinyl was nowhere to be heard. Carmy used to tease you for being pretentious. It’s too quiet inside your house right now.
“Do you want anything? Water?”
“No, thanks,” he says, and you nod. “I’m…I just—I don’t know why I’m here,”
“I see,” you replied, looking anywhere but at him. “Can I help you?”
“Um—who-who were you with the other day?”
“You can’t just…question or decide to drop by when you see me with someone else, Carm,” you said, voice low and careful. “He was an art consultant,”
“Why?” he asked, his eyes inviting you to look at him but you wouldn’t budge. He knew why. He knew that he was an art consultant but something inside Carmy was telling him that the planning had been deliberate and that you went there with malice. To spite him…make him jealous…it was narcissistic but what if?
“Because…because you don’t love me,” you chuckled. There was something funny about not being loved back by a person who used to come to you at the smallest inconvenience. “You don’t love me but the first thing you do is to freak out. It was a work meeting and you freaked out. You don’t love me, Carmy,”
“How many times will-will you hold that over me?” he asked, frowning. “Why are you acting like-like I did something wrong? You can’t control how I feel, Y/N! Give it up!” 
“Because I can and I want to, Carmen!” you exclaimed, chest heaving. Your throat constricted at his rejection. This was the second time. “I can and I want to hold that over you because I’m hurt. I am hurt. You hurt me. You toss me away to the side and-and you expect me to be forgiving. You expect me to just understand,” 
“You have to accept that I…don’t—that I don’t love you that way,” he whispers, and it just breaks your heart because he still couldn’t get it. 
“I’m not asking you to love me back,” you croak, your eyes brimming with tears. “I don’t want to tell you how to feel—or what to feel but you didn’t even text me. You didn’t ask me how I was doing…or -or said hi to me. You—you…I don’t know. You just stopped.”
“Why didn’t you text me first?”
“Because I told you how much you mattered to me. I told you that I love you. I thought that if I didn’t text you, you'd miss me and…God, Carmen. I would have been fine if you didn’t love me back. It would have been fucking dandy. It would have been great if you could have just…treated me like a—like a friend, you know? I still would’ve been there for you…but you shut me out! You showed me just how little I mattered to you, Carm. Did you know that…? You—you treat me like how you treat everyone else when you’re the one who needs me. ”
“You do—you matter to me…”
“Actions speak louder than words,” you spat, your arms crossed over your chest. “You only text me first when you want a quick fuck. I’m free tonight? Want to go? You can’t even say that you want to have sex with me,”
Carmen was at a loss for words. He was hurt that you’d think that way of him when he thought the world of you. Did you really think that you’d matter to Carmen just because he wanted to fuck you?
“Hey, don’t-don’t do that. That isn’t fair to me. You know that-that you mean more to me than that. You’re being unfair,”
“Unfair,” you chuckled, shaking your head. “I’m being unfair when you’re the one inside my home after seeing me with a guy that I am working with.”
“It’s my fucking restaurant! It’s my goddamn restaurant,” he exclaimed, running his hand over his golden hair that you loved so much. “It’s my fucking goddamn restaurant!”
“And I’m fucking telling you that I can do whatever I want!” you retorted, matching the intensity of his voice. “Why do you care, Carmen?” you spit.
“Don’t say my name like that.”
“Like what? Carm? Carmy? Bear? Carmen…Anthony…Berzatto?” you taunt, the same venom dripping from your voice. He just never heard it from you before and it was an unpleasant feeling. “I’m not…I’m not going to let you push me around just because I love you, Carmy,” you shook your head. 
Carmy stares at you, his face pinched in frustration and in sadness. He looks away, swallowing. He presses his hand over his chest to ground him. He didn’t know if he should be mad at you for making him feel this way. Like he needs you all the time to be alright. He didn’t know if he should be angry at himself for letting you lure him into your trap and your promises of warmth and love and…contentment. All this time, he tried to convince himself that he didn’t need anyone much less you for that matter. 
“Say something,” you urged, looking at him desperately but he just shakes his head. You could feel it—feel him detach himself from you. You could feel him cower, hide his feelings…the real reason why he was knocking on your door in the first place.  “Fucking say something, Carm! Tell me why you’re here,” 
He just stands there unmoving, blinking back any emotion. He wanted to store everything in his brain. He didn’t want to feel anymore…he didn’t… 
“Fucking hell,” you whispered shakily. “I don’t know what you want from me…but I can’t go on like-like this! I can’t open the door for you every time you knock. I can’t answer every time you call…just…please, Carmy. Fucking say something.” 
Still, he stays silent. 
A sardonic chuckle escapes your lips. 
“Leave when you want to, I don’t give a shit. Just…just don’t come inside my fucking studio, Carmen. I was expecting you to apologize to tell me that you still want to be friends…I guess I thought I mattered to you more than that,” you told him, walking away. He just watches you go to your studio, hearing the sounds of your materials being thrown in different directions. It doesn’t make him flinch; he just watches the fire burn.
It’s time to go. 
-
Carmen has been living in autopilot since his last visit. It was probably jealousy that prompted him to act like a jagoff but he wasn’t ready to admit that. Instead, he was harder on himself, beating himself up over the smallest things—if a dice wasn’t precise, it wasn’t good enough. Food out for a second too long was cold. It was like reliving New York but he was the perpetrator. He was the one pushing his boundaries until he hated what he was doing and Carmy admits, it was not healthy. 
But what else could he do? Cooking was the only thing he was good at and there was nothing else to do other than work. 
That was a lie. 
He sometimes spent hours rereading the messages you sent him. You’d always text him to have a good day…a funny photo that reminded you of him…
He smiles at some of them, but it’s quickly replaced by the frown that etches on his face because he will never receive these messages from you. Isaac probably fucking does though. He grips his phone tightly in his hands; he hates that thought. He looks at his phone blankly, the message from you illuminating his face blue. 
parm4carm? carmyggiano reggiano? carmensan hahahahahaha i’m at a meeting and i want to laugh because i’m thinking of things to add to your name
He didn’t remember replying but he did remember the small satisfaction that the message brought him all day. You were thinking of him and you were trying to make him laugh; he tried his best to stop himself from smiling but Richie noticed it immediately. 
“What the fuck are you smiling about?” he asked him but Carmy only flipped him off, turning around to stop Richie from seeing him. 
He sighs. It’s not like what you had wasn’t fun. In fact, he was quite sure that it was the somewhat-only healthy relationship that he has. You both gave wach other space, you talked things through. When he started dating Claire, he went to your apartment first to tell you about her. You shrugged it off, not really minding who Carmy dated back then. When he apologized for not inviting you to the opening despite multiple protests from Richie and Sydney, you understood. When he stopped responding for a week, you showed up to his door with a pack of his favorite cigarettes and a box of doughnuts. 
Looking back, did he ever do anything for you?
“Carmy, you good?” Sugar asked. He was more standoffish; he smokes more, and he doesn’t speak much. It’s always only a grunt or a “yeah yeah.”
“Oh,” Carmy says, blinking. “Yeah, I’m good.”
“Carmy…” Sugar tries. “You know you can tell me anything, right?”
“Yeah, I know,” he nods. “I…I’m just thinking, you know? Like-like, I fuck everything up and-and I’m aware of it,” he says. “I know that what I’m doing isn’t right but…you know, I-I always have this dream of a fire…and I just watch it burn…” 
Sugar nods, trying to coax out the lump in Carmy’s throat.
“I wonder if I just don’t speak…will they understand me? I can’t fuck things up again just because I have no cell reception. What if that happens again?” he asked, frowning. “Fuck,”
“Do you think she’s distracting? You don’t have to do anything you don’t want to,”
“But I…I want to,” he says, his hand pressed on his chest. “I want to, Nat but I can’t,”
“You’re a pain in the ass, Carmy. Go talk to the girl,” she smiles and Carmy could only nod because maybe Nat was right. If he could just…talk to you without jumping on your throat and without blinking, there like a fucking idiot. 
That’s an easy job, right? 
-
“I’ve been thinking about-about us, and I just want to say that I’m sorry and that I…Fuck!” 
He was walking like a madman inside his apartment, on the verge of texting you about how Isaac chewed with his mouth open. You told him you hated people who chewed with their mouths open—loud and wet. He saw your favorite cereal on sale the other day. He almost wanted to ask you if you were aware that it was marked down. Should he get you a few boxes? What about three? He just wanted to know. Would you…would you come over if he let his kitchen burn? Would you come over if you saw the dead flowers that dried up because he couldn’t find it in himself to throw them away. It was the last piece of evidence that he wanted to go. Would you even accept his dead flowers now that your name was on every art forum? You probably like cereal and milk with fucking gold leaves and fig.
He knows that you didn’t like it when he looked sad but when he visited you, did you notice the way his shoulders slumped? Because he noticed the shallowness of your breathing, the taps on the floor, the pause before you opened the door for him. He noticed the way you blinked back the tears that he threatened to spill because he was cruel. He knew…he knew that he was cruel but would you still forgive him if he ran up to you now?
The cereal you like is marked down at the store. Do you want some? 
The vibration in your pocket stops you from talking to the guy who just offered to buy you your coffee. 
“Sorry,” you smiled sheepishly. “Let me just…get this,” 
Your hands slightly trembled when you saw the message that Carmy just sent. It was an odd olive branch but what if you were looking into things again? What if he was just trying to have sex again? 
I’m sorry for the things that I said. 
Can we talk? 
“Hey, hey,” the guy says. You didn’t even know his name. “Are you alright?”
“Uh? Yeah, no-yeah, I am. Sorry,” you replied, locking your phone and putting it in the back pocket. “What was it?”
“Oh, I was wondering if-if you want coffee?”
“I…already ordered, though,” you replied. “Advanced order and I’m just waiting…”
The guy’s face falls, and you smile timidly. 
“Sorry,” you offered. 
“No, that's fine,” he shrugs. “I should’ve known or something,”
“No, thanks. Um, yeah…”
The barista calls for your name on the counter and you smile at him before leaving. You rushed out of the café without another word, coffee in your hand and Carmen’s message in your backpocket. 
The Read label was putting Carmen in a spiral. You read the message twelve fucking minutes ago, why weren’t you replying? He was popping the joints on his knuckles, watching the phone closely until you replied. 
what time do you close? 
can we go to your apartment instead?
He lets go of a breath he didn’t realize he was holding. He texts you to just enter the apartment since you still have the keys, completely forgetting about the flowers near his stove.
-
When you entered his apartment, you were greeted with the bareness of it all, save for the dried flowers on the stove. You frowned, walking towards it. Carmy didn’t need flowers… Besides, this was a fire hazard. Was he okay?
You turned over the card attached and took a sharp breath. 
Let it rip. I’m so proud of you. 
Love, Carm
Was this deliberate? Did he plan this all out to get you to forgive him? You turned away, trying to forget the note that he was meant to give you. You sat on his couch instead, settling on the corner and flipping through the channels on his cable. You wanted something to fill the silence so that when he comes, you wouldn’t have to try to make up for it by saying something stupid like the weather in Chicago. 
You settled on some reality show, looking at the screen with your eyes glazed over when you heard someone mess with the lock. You looked over, watching Carmy in his grey sweater. He tossed the backpack to the side and his shoes were laying somewhere. You saw this scene before—multiple times but the undertone was different. 
“Hi,”
“Hey,”
“Um—“
“I hope you…you don’t mind me watching—“
Carmy’s eyes flicks to the stove and realization dawns on his face. 
“Fuck, fuck. Sorry—you, ah, weren’t supposed to…” he puts the flowers in the cupboard hastily, some leaves falling. “See that,”
“Yeah—“
“Um, I’ll just…”
“Yeah,”
He nods, blinking, before stalking to his bedroom. He locks the door behind him and heaves. Fuck. He shakes his head entering the bathroom to wash the day away. 
You couldn't focus anymore. Why was he so ashamed of the flowers he got you? You swallow the thickness down your throat. Were you intruding if you got yourself a glass of water? Carmy goes out of the bedroom a few minutes later, fresh and clean. He looks at you and heads to the kitchen. You don’t move.
He comes back with a glass of water for you, laying it down on the coffee table and then sitting beside you—as far as he could because he didn’t know where you stood right now. What boundaries can he cross?
“Thanks,” you smiled at him, taking a huge gulp of the cold water. “Um…”
“Shit—I don't know what to say,” he says, folding his hands on his lap.
“We can…we can start with what we said,” you replied slowly. “I…”
“I’m sorry,”
“Carm—“
“I’m sorry. I didn’t take-I didn’t take your feelings into consideration and I…I hurt you,” he says, looking down. You were both sitting straight ahead, the TV illuminating your faces. It felt like a thick wall was between you two and that it was up to you to break it. “I just…I don’t know. I can’t keep on doing shitty things and then-then, feeling bad about myself but I…I spent my life trying to-to understand mom and Mi—key,” he chokes. “I guess I don’t want to understand anyone else anymore because I wouldn’t be able to but I—but you’re not anyone else.” 
“I fucked up,” he says. “When I was with Claire…I was locked in the fucking freezer because I had no cell reception. I don’t want that…but I don’t—“
“What do you want, Carm?” you asked. 
“I want to—I want…I,”
“I’m sorry for calling you miserable and unreliable,” you told him. “I was hurt and I’m sorry for uh, holding things over you. It’s not your fault that I caught feelings. It wasn’t fair to just…expect you to…love me, you know? Wasn’t fair,”
“No, I was a shitty friend. I shouldn’t have let you go like that,”
“Yeah,” you nod. You heard him shift in his seat, legs crossed over each other and facing you. You glanced and did the same. 
“I got you your cereal,” A small smile. 
“Yeah?” A beat.
“Like four boxes.” 
“I’ll be sick of them,” you teased.
“I know but maybe you’d hate that instead,” A confession. 
“I don’t hate you…” 
“You don’t?” he asked. “Why…I’m really sorry. I don’t want to…I’m really fucking sorry,”
“What do you want, Carm?” you asked, a brave hand on his knee. “Tell me what you want,”
“Please,”
“And we’ll make it work,”
“I want everything. But I…I don’t…It’s funny. A fridge started Claire and I’s relationship. A fridge ended it too. I’m sorry for bringing her up…but I never felt like I was deserving of…of happiness and I,” he blinks, eyes pinching at the bitterness of every word that rolled off his tongue. “Who the fuck said I could be in a relationship? I am the best because I was focused and I…I had cell reception and I didn’t have the bullshit of understanding feelings. I don’t need amusement or enjoyment…I…no amount of good was worth it, you know? I thought-thought that it was a complete waste of my fucking time but I crave for it,”
“And…I don’t know. I failed them and I…I don’t—“ he heaves. He has to let it all out if he wanted to make things right. “I’m scared that if I…jump in, you know? I fuck everything up again. My staff hates me, I hate me, and you…you hate me too. I don’t want to lose cell reception and I…I don’t need enjoyment but I need you. I need you with me all the time but what if you get—sick of me and push me away like Mikey did? What if…what if you learn to hate me? I need you and I don’t know if I can handle it if we—if we just stopped talking and I did. I stopped talking to you because it would have hurt me more if you decided to end things like that…I’m sorry,”
“I’m just…I fuck up everything that I touch, and I know that I’m miserable and I’m so fucking sorry that I hurt you. I’ll take that with me to the grave. I’m so fucking sorry,” he says, a hand pressed on his chest, like he was protecting it. The barrier that you had to strike down. A gentle hand takes his, interlacing your fingers with his calloused ones. It makes him flinch, but he accepts the gesture. 
“I’m sorry you feel that way,” you smiled and Carmy could just cry because it was the same thing that Claire had told him. What was the guarantee that it was different this time? “But Carmy, you have to understand that I…I don’t want to hurt you or-or distract you from being the best. I want you to be the best…”
“Is the best…enough?” he asks. “If I lose you?” 
“That’s a question you have to answer for yourself, Carm,” you offered. “I’m selfish. I can’t—I don’t want to be the reason why you learn to hate me just because I told you to choose me and I don’t want you to choose. I want you to…be the best and be—be…”
“I need you,”
“I know but I…” I want you to love me. 
“I touch everything and I burn everything…Richie and I…I feel so bad about the things I said to him and I fucking hate that I can’t control anything. My life is so fucked up and I—“ he stops, looking at you for the first time that night. “I just wish to just let the everything burn and then it will all go away but I need you to watch it burn with me,”
He still hasn’t said what you wanted to hear from him. He still hasn’t said anything. 
“I love you,”
You stop your breathing. 
“Carm—don’t say that just for the sake of saying it,” you begged, pulling him away from him and standing up. “Don’t say that if you don’t-don’t mean it…you're just being mean,”
“I do,”
“Carmy,” you whispered. “You didn’t love me months ago. What made you love me now?” you asked. “I’m not invalidating your feelings or-or whatever but I need you to understand that I’ve been loving you for months. I loved you after you broke up with Claire and we drank wine many months ago, but you didn’t…do you love me because you need me?”
“No!” he says. “I love you and I need you. I’ve been—harboring these feelings but I can’t…I can’t say anything and I’m so, so scared that if I don’t say anything now, then everything will just be a big fucking shit show and then, I’ll lose you forever. I’m so scared because what if we don’t work and-and you decide that I do make you miserable? What then?”
“What if we work out?” 
“That’s worse because then I’d know that I’ve been holding myself back for nothing,”
“I’m confused, Carm. What do you want?” you asked, shaking your head.
“You and I…together,” he replied. “Only if you want to. I don’t want to make you feel like-like I’m,”
“Can you say that again?”
“What?”
“What do you feel for me,” you begged. “I’ve been…I’ve been waiting months for you to tell me those words and I just have to make sure that I—that I’m hearing you correctly,”
“I love you,” he says. “I love you, I love you, I love you,” he repeats the same words over and over again and you feel your eyes brim with tears because this is what you wanted—this is what you’ve always wanted to hear. He stands up and walks over to you, covering his arms around your frame. “I’m sorry for making you feel like I didn’t,”
“Carmy…” you trailed off. “I’m sorry for the things that I said,”
“I’m sorry too,” he says. “But it’s okay…consider everything forgotten,” he kisses your temple and checks on you. “We’re okay, baby. We’re okay,”
“I missed you,”
“I missed you too,” he says, ducking his head so his lips could meet yours. “I miss you,” he mumbles, cradling your head with his two hands. He kisses you fervently, like he was thirsty and you were the fountain of life. “Mm,”
“Carm…” you whine when he lets you go. You push him to the couch, his legs open wide as he watches you. “I want to show you how much I missed you,”
“Yeah?” he rasps, tapping his lap. “Come here, baby,”
You nod, watching his chest rise and fall in anticipation. You settle yourself on his lap, legs on either side. His hands immediately find your waist, clutching your body through the soft material of your shirt. You tug on his shirt to bring him closer to you, kissing him slowly. Your hands find themselves tugging on his hair, your hips rocking softly against his clothed crotch. 
“Fuck,” he grunts, hips meeting your subconsciously and you giggle at his anticipation. 
“Carm!” you chuckled, lips trailing down to his jaw. He likes that you never fail to leave love bites where everyone can see. He sighs deeply when you suck on the spot he liked so much. You could feel him harden under his joggers, itching for release. When you are done, you smile at him, pecking him on the lips before removing his shirt completely. He sucks in a breath when your soft hands run over his chest. “I missed you,”
“I missed you too,” he rasps, tugging on your shirt. You oblige, removing the piece of clothing entirely. His mouth waters at the sight of your naked torso. You rub your heat against his cock, the both of you moaning because of the pleasurable friction. It was slow and deliberate at first but you were soon mewling, his mouth on yours. His tongue pushes past against your lips, swirling with one another. “Remove everything, please—“
You nod, standing in front of him to strip yourselves of what remained between the two of you. Carmy, runs his hand on your waist, looking up at you with need. You run your hands through his hair while you let him kiss every part of your body that he could kiss. You sigh at the contact of his warm lips against your body, settling yourself back on his lap but this time, with less restraint. His hand immediately finds your cunt, fingers working to flick your clit. You whimpered when you felt his fingers prod your entrance.
“Yeah,” he nods. “Fuck yourself with my hand,”
“Carm,” you whine, bouncing slightly. Your hand finds the tip of his cock and his hips jerks, at the contact. 
“You’re so fucking perfect,” he says, looking up at you with his eyes half-lidded. He removes his fingers inside you and sucks on them. “You always taste so sweet,”
You couldn’t choke out any reply. So instead, you put your hands on either of his shoulders, slowly sinking on his cock. 
“Fuuuuck,” he says, his head falling on the sofa. “Fuck,”
“Carmy,” you said, rolling your hips against his own slowly. “You’re so—“
“Good,” he says, watching his member disappear inside you completely. He could feel your wetness on his thighs, and it kills him. “I’m gonna make you mine,” he says, pinching your nipple.
“Carmy!”
“You like it?” he asked, his head inching closer. He flicks his tongue over the sensitive bud while you ride him. He bites on it and you flinch. He feels your walls clench around him when he does that, so he tries it on your other nipple. 
“Carm,” you whined, “Fuck—“
The moans that emitted from his mouth vibrated on your chest. He was continuously sucking and licking your nipple, pinching and twisting it with his rough hands while you gyrated against him. His cock fills you up differently and you let his hips thrust upwards, hitting a certain soot inside of you. 
He gives up the need to control, letting you part away from him. You stand up, repositioning yourself to finally—
“Fuck!” he groans, not expecting the sudden feeling of your tight, wet walls wrapping his girth. The tip was just teasing your wntrance a few second ago. His head falls back, arms wrapped around your waist while you bounce on his cock. “Fuck, fuck,”
“Carmy…” you moan. “Kiss me,”
He does what was told, capturing your lips with his. His tongue parts your already open mouth, his arms snaking around gour waist to keep you closer. You whimper, hands holding either side of his neck and you grip slightly.
“Mm,” he groans, breaking away from you. Your pace was speeding up, the sound of skin slapping against skin filling his apartment. “Fuck,”
You smiled at him, constricting his airways a little tighter. 
“I’m so—fuck—oh,” he chokes out. His hips stutter against you, cock filling you up completely and he feels your walls clench around him. “close.”
“Baby, baby, baby…” he sighs, the pressure too much for him. “I’ll make you mine. I’ll make you mine,” 
“I love you,” you mewled, head falling when he plays with your sensitive buds again. “I want to be yours, Carm,”
He meets your wet pussy with his cock in sloppy thrusts. Your bodies were moving in motion, desperate for that release—that closeness after months of being away from each other. Carmy was holding you so close, grunting and groaning under you. 
“Fuck, I fucking love—oh,” his voice breaks and he comes undone. Your walls clench around his gushing member, thrusting inside to chase your high. Your movements slow down, his head on your shoulder. A beat passes with heavy breathing. He peeks. “Are you okay?”
“Yeah,” you nod, removing yourself from him. “Are you?”
He nods, pushing your hair away from your face. 
“I love you, you know that?”
“Yeah,”
“Let’s get you cleaned up. What do you want for breakfast tomorrow?”
“I think cereal’s good.”
-
A/N: First and foremost, I’d like to thank you guys for the overwhelming love and support that you showed in chapter one. Your comments and reblogs all motivated me to write chapter 2 the best that I can and I hope that you love this chapter as much as the previous one. As always, don’t forget to comment or reblog your thoughts! I’d love to know what you thought about this one.
TAGLIST: @kpopgirlbtssvt@morgthemagpie@hal3ynicol3@1800-queen-trash @ummvengers @thottywizard
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theplumsoldier · 9 months
Text
loverboy
summary: carmen makes a move on you while you think he's still got a girlfriend. could've gone smoother but you end up inviting him
pairing: carmy berzatto x afab!reader
word count: 4,2k
warnings: insecurities, self-doubt, small lies (carm makes you believe he lives closer to you than he does), vulgar language, mention of "setting boundaries" of a not-yet-existing-fwb-relationship, 18+ MDNI; smut, unprotected sex, semi-public grinding, oral (f&m receiving) soft!carm, idiots in love, friends to lovers!!
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"You know, I don't think I've said this." He hadn't. "But I'm-I'm really—we're all really glad to have you here."
He was nodding to himself as he said it, and he hoped you didn't notice the hesitation. Carmy wasn't for a second doubtful that they were happy—he was certainly happy that you had joined the crew during the hectic weeks prior to The Bear's opening.
It was just that now, here, sitting alone with you in the back alley of the restaurant, sharing one of the bottles of expensive-as-shit Coup Beaujolais, he was getting unsure of himself. On whether he had completely misread your banter. He wasn't very good with that, flirting—never knew when someone was hitting on him and always double-checking whether he himself was, in fact, hitting on someone. Richie had said the chemistry between you guys was more dangerous than Fak recalibrating. Fucking stupid, he thought, but it made him think.
And then Carmy realized he had been flirting with you, in his own stupid fucking way which he worried you hadn't picked up on. Shit, he hadn't noticed it before Richie told him. Now that he sat there, with you, alone, he wondered if Richie had been fucking with him again.
Carmy wanted to know how you felt about him, but he didn't want to fuck up as was his specialty lately—didn't wanna make you uncomfortable, didn't wanna make anything weird.
"Yeah, uh. Thanks, chef," said you, chewing at your bottom lip to ease the tension. Carmy had a real habit of making situations awkward. "I'm glad you'll have me."
Phrasing.
Carm nodded, the persistent way he does whenever he's turning words in his head. You could almost hear the gears scraping.
"You always seem so cool—about everything. Like, even though we're jumpin' off the fuckin' walls, screaming n'shit, you'll just—you're collected. S'a real good quality, you know?"
You grinned, thinking of those exact memories, some just a couple of hours old. "Yeah, well—I'm sure it's more hectic n'the kitchen, right? Like there's, open fire, sharp knives and shit. Gotta be jumpin', like, all the time, yeah? To avoid the obstacles n'stuff."
"Yeah," he chuckled. "Peter Parker-type shit."
"Yeah."
You held the plastic cup out and he poured you another one.
"Anyway, keeps me sane, you know? I think—I think at some point you made me realize that—that, you know, it's not normal to fuckin' scream all day. Like I didn't even realize I got fuckin' migraines 'til it was quiet, you feel me?"
It made you bubbly, to hear that Carmen did in fact appreciate having you be a part of the team.
You just sat there, quietly watching him. His bicep popped when he poured a slob into his own cup. You watched as his tongue darted out to wet his lips before taking a sip.
You sat like that, speaking mindlessly for a while, sharing experiences and goofing around. You loved this, getting to know him better, but when you suddenly found that he had sought closer to you, you felt your heart leap.
His body was so close you could feel the heat of his body radiate. It was intoxicating, more than the wine and though your subconscious reminded you it was wrong to lean into his welcoming touch, you couldn't help but forget what was right and wrong.
His crystal blue eyes caught the light from the street lamp, and you were mesmerized as he looked into your soul. You felt vulnerable but safe in his company.
Though there had been much lead-up, it seemed to come out of the blue. Carmy leaned in, and his eyes were fixated on your lips. Before your lips touched, your senses returned and you moved back against the fence.
"Yo, what the fuck are you doing?"
Fuck.
"Wait—I'm sorry! I'm sorry."
"You have a girlfriend!"
Oh.
"Wha—no, no—shit, that's not—" he stumbled back, running a hand over his dazed face, dragging the expression down with it.
Fuck—fuck! Carmen thought he must look like a fucking jagoff.
He stood with his back to you, but you could see the way his broad shoulders heaved with every.
You pushed, not appreciating the silence. "Yeah, no—her name is Claire. You've been dating her a couple months now and known her, for like, forever. That ring any bells?"
When Carmen turned around to face you, he looked defeated. He then crouched down beside you again.
"We broke up."
What?
Carmen told you how he had had an existential crisis during opening night, how he had thought he vented to Tina while stuck in the walk-in, and Claire had heard everything he had said. You could sense the sadness in his voice, but there was no regret. It spread a warm feeling in your chest, and you immediately felt a pang of guilt. When you had first met Carm, he had been with Claire and so the immediate attraction you had felt—well, you had obviously tried to suppress that.
"—I guess I just... I realized I can't both manage a—a restaurant and a relationship. I—I don't know, it don't come natural to me."
Your brows were furrowed, mixed feeling prickling at your skin. "So... why'd you try to kiss me just now?"
Again, he looked despondent.
"I—fuck, I don't know, I've—I guess I've just been feeling this for a while now, with—with you and I dunno. Richie's been getting in my head and I had a stupid thought and figured fuck it, you know?"
It wasn't a question but he was looking for an answer on your expression. Carmen feared you had stopped him from kissing you, not because you thought he had a girlfriend, but because you didn't want to kiss him.
Carmy watched as you looked thoughtfully at the ground, his hands fidgeting as you did the same.
Fuck.
It's over, he thought to himself.
Battling the voices in your head telling you not to, you said: "You know, it's not that the thought of kissing you, like, disgusts me."
His head tilted upward, hope in his sorry eyes.
"No?" he quizzed sheepishly.
"No," you chuckled. "I mean, I've thought about it before."
Carm lit up. "Ye—yeah?"
"Yeah," nodded you, wetting your lips as you recalled your fantasies. "It'd probably be stupid though, right?"
"So stupid," he agreed, nodding vigorously as if trying to shake the thought. It would be fucking stupid. He knew it. But it didn't deter him. Carm wanted to take the chance. He shouldn't, after all, he broke it off with Claire because he "wasn't ready". Why would he be ready now? "Still want to, though."
So badly. It felt more like an urge; a need rather than a want.
"So do it," you finally tested.
If you didn't, you were sure you'd back out, run into the kitchen with your tail between your legs. But you would regret that, you knew it. You tried to convince yourself you shouldn't back away. You wanted this—had for a while. Carm was the one who should second-guess himself, not you. He had ended a relationship because he couldn't dedicate himself and now he wanted to give it another shot. With you. It made you desperate, knowing he wanted you like you wanted him. Still, you worried he would kiss you and regret it immediately, confirmed in his suspicions—he didn't have time for romance. Keep your eye on the price.
"Fuck it," breathed he, putting aside an internal battle and leaned closer, knocking aside the bottle of wine as he pressed his hungry lips to you.
Your lips felt plump against his, chewed with anticipation and soft with spit. You tasted like a perfect dessert.
Lost in the growing heat, you cradled his face, swiping your warm tongue over his needy lips and Carmen did not hesitate to grant you entrance. A desperate although soft whine escaped him and you swallowed it down, living for the way he desired you.
Without interrupting the dance your tongues twirled, Carmen's large palm grasped your hip and pulled you into his lap. Automatically you ground down on him and moaned at the sensation of what you did to him.
You'd thought about how he would feel against you. From behind the bar, you always had a perfect view of his station and often got distracted by the way he moved—the way his mouth curled when he would scream commands, the way his arms would flex as he worked. It was a surprise nobody had filed a complaint against you. On more than one occasion you had mixed the wrong drink or spilled liquor because you just couldn't keep your eyes off of him. It was unprofessional, but he was mesmerizing like a starry sky; the longer you looked, the deeper you fell into the abyss.
Carmen mumbled a curse under his breath as he broke the kiss, breathing heavily as he ground up into your clothes sex.
"Do—doesn't feel so stupid, huh?"
You grinned and shook your head lightly, pressing your forehead against his.
"If we're gonna fuck we should probably talk about it," you said blatantly. "Set some ground rules."
Carmen was caught off guard for a second. He knew what he wanted but when you said it so casually it made something twitch in him.
His eyes were attached to your lips. They looked so delicious, kissed rough and he pulled at your bottom lip with his thumb before he even registered it.
"Probably," he breathed even though he wasn't quite sure what your words actually meant. He was quite literally thinking with his cock.
Carmen clashed his insatiable lips to yours again, but the second he did so, the back door to The Bear clicked open and Marcus appeared, garbage bags in hand. By the time you looked up at him, you had clumsily shuffled off of Carmen, sitting awkwardly with your legs to your chest. You weren't sure what he'd seen nor what he made of it.
"Hey," he hummed, moving to sling the plastic bags into the container.
"Sup, bro," acknowledged Carm, putting his hands on his hips, suddenly standing up, playing it cool.
"Imma call it a night," Marcus said. "See y'all tomorrow."
"Yeah, uh—good job t'day."
Marcus disappeared and Carmen looked back down at you, holding out a hand to help you to your feet. The interruption had broken the spell.
"Can I walk you home?" he offered. It made more sense to him, taking you home. He wasn't about to violate health code on the kitchen floor of his own restaurant.
"You live close to Maygrey?"
No.
"Yeah."
The walk might do him some good, he figured. Perhaps the chivalrous gesture would help him get lucky tonight, and even if you decided you were not about to fool around with him, he could at least say he had done a good deed today.
Carm hadn't realized you made a twenty-minute walk every night, and although he often did the same, it bothered him a great deal. He hadn't had any uncomfortable encounters himself, but he knew Sugar had. One time when she had been late to dinner at his place because of some creep bothering her on the street, and he had asked her why she hadn't called him (he would have picked her up), she told him it was not a first nor was it a last. It angered him, knowing it was not unusual for a woman to feel afraid when walking alone.
Carmen recalled your mention of ground rules, but you didn't once embark on the topic. Instead of talking about sex, you joked as if you were friends and nothing more. It made him wonder if you regretted kissing him.
Of course you invited him up. How could you not?
Carm looked dubious suddenly and you raised a brow, giving him a soft smile.
"I won't be mad if you turn me down now. No hard feelings."
He realized you were just a pair of self-doubting idiots—none of you wanting to pressure the other into something you might regret. And Carmen knew he might just do that—not because he was unsure whether he wanted this with you (he hadn't wanted something this much in a long time), no—he feared he would find himself in the same emotional clusterfuck he had with Claire.
Something about you made him want to throw caution to the wind and become the loverboy he so pathetically wanted to be for you.
How could he ever turn you down? A simple kiss in a back alley had dragged him in too deep.
You stood atop the staircase and watched curiously as Carmen closed the space. His hand cradled your face and he planted a soft kiss on your lips, not as vigorous a kiss as earlier that night, but just as hungry, just as passionate.
He then gave you a reassuring look and you knew you had it bad cause you could've sworn you fell in love with him just then.
Grabbing his hand you dragged him along with you, eagerly pulling him up the steps to your apartment, not wasting a goddamn second in connecting your lips again.
Carm chuckled against your lips as you pushed him into the door, closing it with him as if locking you away from the outside world. It was just the two of you.
Carmen was too far away to realize you had undone his belt until the familiar clinking sounded. He was so fucking hard by now, aroused by your eagerness. It was almost mortifying.
He composed himself. "Where's the bedroom?"
You gave him a look. "It's a one-room apartment, Carm."
For the first time, he looked around and got the message. The kitchen was awkwardly lodged into a small corner of the living room and the living room was also the bedroom. There was a door three feet ahead but he was unsure whether it was a closet or a bathroom.
"So when I fuck you on the couch I'll also be fucking you in the dining room?"
You looped your arms around his front from behind, pointing to the corner of the room. "Yeah, n'the trashcan over there's the bathroom."
He spun around, placing his large hands on your hips to keep you close. "Cozy."
There was a glimmering to his eyes, and his contagious charm infected you with an enticing smirk. You leaned in, cradling your face in the crook of his neck, inhaling his scent.
"So you gonna fuck me Carmy? Or are ya just all talk?" teased you, planting wet kisses against his throat, sucking the place below his ear. That's the spot.
In a flash, he hooked your legs around his waist and you would've been embarrassed by the stupid fucking giggle escaping you if a low moan hadn't interrupted you. His restrained cock felt even bigger now, pressing up into your clothed crotch.
You could hardly wait to see his weeping head.
Carmen straddled you on the couch, breaking your lips apart to shift his focus. Peppering kisses down your neck, your chest heaved with a shaky breath, whining for him. You wondered if he would flip you over and fuck you roughly if you asked nicely.
Another time you told yourself. Tonight, you were too ecstatic as he worshipped your body like the prettiest fucking tenderloin he'd ever seen. The thought made you smile into your arm, gasping as his hot breath swept over your belly.
"So fuckin' beautiful," he murmured against your skin, tongue poking out to taste the flesh.
Writhing beneath him, you tugged at his curls, and he swore he was about to bust right there, with your glossy and dazed eyes blinking down at him. Fuck, Carm wanted to hear you beg for him.
"What is it, baby girl?" he taunted, looking curiously at you while he peppered kisses across the skin he exposed by lifting up your shirt.
When you ground up your hips to show him where you wanted him, he kept you pressed against the cushion. You cried out.
"Carmy!" you mewled, helplessly thrashing.
After removing your shirt, he praised your patience: "you're so good for me," he said and unbuttoned your jeans. "Tell me what you want, sweet girl."
You threw your head back into a pillow with a thud, wanting to both strangle and fuck him (which you had wanted many times already since you started bartending at The Bear) as he pressed teasing, open-mouthed kisses by the seams of your panty line.
"Just—mpff! Fuck me already, Carm," you whined.
His face tilted up and you wanted to slap the smirk right off of his sly face. "In a minute, baby."
As he moved back a little, you thought he was finally going to give you what you wanted, but when you arched your back with need he used your movements to flip you onto your stomach. He roughly placed you as he pleased, propping you on your knees, and slid in under you.
"Just a quick taste, baby," he drawled.
Realizing he was gonna eat you out, you melted completely, seated perfectly on his face as was his wish. You barely managed to get comfortable before he hooked a finger through the leg of your underwear, the cold of his ring making you shiver and he dug in like a man starved.
A sound bordering on a thirsty moan and a dry cry escaped you. Carmen looped his arms around your thighs. His tongue explored the nooks of your lips, lapping slick from your folds and into your pussy.
A string of curses left your lips as he relished your juices, groaning into your cunt. He couldn't help but relieve some of the pressure on his impossibly hard cock by palming himself through his jeans.
He had lost himself for a moment there and when he looked up, he became doe-eyed with adoration. You had removed your bra.
His hand left his cock and slid up your curves, palming your breast instead and the other went to deftly work your clit. He elicited a muffled shriek from you, obviously surprised by the sudden added sensation to the delicate bud.
"Carmy," you panted, grinding your hips against his mouth, all of it seeming both too much and not enough. He was going to ruin you and you would let him. "Fu—fuck! M'gonna come, Carm."
Your confession merely made him more eager, more hungry and he concentrated on bringing you closer, encouraging each wave of your hips with a low moan. Carmen let you fuck his face, rolling and grinding on him to persuade your release closer. You grabbed at his curls to steady yourself as it came in euphoric waves, moaning, crying, whimpering, and grinning as he lapped your cum, savoring every last drop. It quickly became too much though, and as his nose tickled your sensitive clit, you fell apart, tilting over and crashing above him.
"Ho—holy fuck," you panted and he stood up from the couch, ridding himself of his clothes until there was nothing but a gold chain gleaming at his chest.
Still recovering from your orgasm, you gaped at his size. The head was red and strained, pre-cum beading the slit making it look like it was crying. The shaft was long with protruding veins drawing purple along the length and he was thick, too thick to fit in the circle created when you connect the tip of your index with that of your thumb.
He was perfect.
Carmen looked a bit flustered from your shameless gawking but you couldn't help it. "You're beautiful, Carm."
He grinned sheepishly down at you, grasping your legs, pulling you to the edge of the couch, resting your calves on his shoulders.
"You are," he insisted, pressing his lips to yours in a feverishly soft kiss as he aligned his head with your folds.
Gasping, you took a second to relax around his head, knowing it would sting painfully if you didn't. You wouldn't let anything ruin this moment. Not with his eyes gazing so intensely down at you; not with saliva connecting your mouths with a string, not with him before you like this, looking like he was carved by fucking Donatello, nothing hiding an inch of his tantalizingly soft skin bar the gold chain dangling from his neck.
You instinctively edged closer, putting a hand on his shoulder to guide him into you. He eased into you as he kissed you hungrily—insatiable, always needing more of your taste.
Carm held his breath as he bottomed out, finally exhaling a shaky breath. He couldn't believe how good you felt around him, hugging—no squeezing the life out of his cock as you desperately clawed on his back, feeling every cleft and hill, moaning into his mouth. He hoped your nails would leave marks on his skin.
With your forehead pressed against his, you looked down with hooded eyes and watch as he slid in, devastatingly slow, inch by inch. Carm followed your gaze.
"God, look how good you're takin' me, baby. Doin' so well f'me—doin' so good," he groaned, head digging into your neck, licking, sucking, biting.
He commenced a thrusting-grinding pace, reaching every crevice inside you, tickling all the right places. You cried out, a mixture of pain and pleasure so delicious as he poked and prodded places untouched. He felt unreal.
Soon Carmen drilled into you like a madman, steadying himself against your hips, rutting into you at a bruising pace. You'd feel him long after he was gone.
You held him close by his neck, securing him by threading your fingers through that damn sexy gold chain and the locks of his hair. His brows were furrowed, concentration and bliss evident in his expression.
You begged him to go faster, harder—before you knew it he granted your wish and his hand had returned to your poor clit, and you grasped whatever you could, the armrest, cushions, him.
You chanted his name, exchanging your vocabulary for his name so that he was all you knew. Carm fucked you through your orgasm, chasing his own as you cried his name. The combination of your moans, your begging, and the vulgar sounds of your skin slapping—it made him fucking delirious.
His bicep flexed delectably as he put all his weight on his right arm, making a considerate pause for a sweet but overwhelmingly intense kiss, only to thrust impossibly deeper.
Feeling his consistent pace become erratic, you begged him. "Please, please, Carm—fill me up."
You could feel your frantic pleas going straight to his cock as he twitched inside you, groaning—but fuck it sounded like a frail whimper.
The furrow between his brows deepened, a red blush painting his face and chest.
"You're fuckin' unreal," he manages, shaking his head.
Carmy's pace became sloppier and more desperate, cursing into your mouth as he stuttered, a strangled moan signaling his high.
He filled you up, squirting white ropes of velvety cum into you. You felt his seed trickle out as if there was not enough room for his generous load. Then he collapsed beside you.
You lay still for a minute or so, chests heaving in unison as you came back down to Earth.
"Fuck," he said after some time, pronouncing the cuss as if he had just learned the word.
You chuckled, agreeing. "Yeah."
"Shit, lemme get ya somethin' for the—"
"No, no—don't worry," you stopped him, already getting up before he could do much. He watched you go, admiring your naked body. You reached between your legs, feeling his cum trickle down your thighs. "Fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck."
Carmy laughed when he realized what was going on, a sort of childish grin he couldn't hold back from rumbling in his chest. He hadn't felt this comfortable in a long time.
You disappeared out of sight. He heard water running splash and he figured you were cleaning yourself. Carmen wondered if he would get to fill you up again—preferably sometime soon.
You returned with a damp washcloth, your feet padding softly against the floor as you approached him. Carm couldn't help but smile endearingly as he went to move to free up space for you, but you placed a soft hand on his thigh as if telling him to lie still instead.
"Oh—" he began when he noticed the washcloth, but to his surprise you wrapped your lips around his cock, earning a strangled moan from him. Your warm tongue licked him clean and you hollowed your cheeks around him as if vacuuming his mess.
The pleasure turned into a ticklish feeling and he felt like grinning and kicking his feet suddenly. You looked up through your lashes, and he felt as if his eyes had remolded into heart shapes.
He brushed a strand of hair behind your ear, looking at you with such tooth-rotting affection it made him wonder if he loved you. In this situation, it felt natural to say to you—it felt easy and welcome, right on the tip of his tongue.
You offered him an enchanting smile and took his large hand to your mouth, kissing his knuckles, then began cleaning his cock with the washcloth.
Carmen's head dropped back at your touch and he exhaled deeply.
A smile danced across his face and he wiped his forehead with the back of his hand; the one you had kissed.
What am I going to do with you?
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yellowharrington · 28 days
Text
all i really want (is you) -- carmy berzatto x reader
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pairing + fandom: carmen "carmy" berzatto x reader, the bear fx
word count: 3k
warnings: smut! 18+, minors pls dni. afab!reader with pullable hair, no use of y/n. light daddy kink and dom/sub undertones. spanking, exhibitionism, oral (m + f receiving), unprotected piv + creampie, reader and carmy both drink alcohol. please let me know if i missed anything :)
a/n: this is depraved. thanks @wtfsteveharrington for reigniting my need to write about carmy lmao. title is from "all i really want is you" by the marias. please leave comments or reblogs if you liked it <3
divider by @cafekitsune
summary: carmy secretly books a lake-front hotel room in chicago for your anniversary.
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Carmy would be the first to admit he’s not very good at being romantic.
He forgets, lets things slip through the cracks, time and time again. He makes up for it, and you understand of course, but he’s working on it.
When your anniversary is approaching, he knows he has to make a plan. Busy with the restaurant, the menu, the money - all of it was overwhelming, but your not-so-subtle reminder of the date gave him the idea.
“So…” you had joined him in your shared kitchen, hand brushing through his curls as he slaved over a pan sauce he’d been perfecting.
“Yes?” He wasn’t annoyed - never annoyed, by you - but in the thralls of cooking, nonetheless.
“It’s our anniversary next weekend and I was thinking we’d try out that new restaurant you were talking about. You know… the one that’s suuuuuper hard to get a reservation at?” You smiled coyly as he held out the spoon with the hot liquid on it, wordlessly asking you for a taste-test. 
“Sounds good,” he had remarked, pressing a soft kiss to your cheek and returning to the task at hand. “I’ll make a call.”
“Thank you, Carm,” you let your hands roam his clothed back as you feel the sauce between your lips and on your tongue. “That’s delicious.”
He hummed in response, as your hands drifted down to his sides and played at the hem of his t-shirt. “After our anniversary dinner I have a little… present for you.”
Before he could respond, you had slipped away to the bedroom, only flashing him a smirk before closing the door.
The weekend of your anniversary had approached quickly, and Carmy had actually managed to get everything in place. The reservation for dinner was set, his gift burning a hole in his pocket, and thoughts of what your gift to him may entail swirling around in his head. 
You walked out of your shared bedroom, adorning a black dress that hugged your body perfectly. Jewelry to match - done up just right, effortlessly perfect for the occasion. His hand came up to his mouth as he took you in, thanking whatever God above that brought you to him.
“Too much?” You asked, toying with your hair in the mirror and correcting the edge of your lipstick. 
“No,” Carmy answered, coming up behind you in the mirror and admiring your form. “Perfect.”
You felt yourself blush as he took your hand and held it to his lips, kissing your knuckles and pulling you into him. “Ready?” 
~
Dinner came and passed, shared glasses of wine between the two of you as you reminisced about past times together. Carmy had always been shy, but easy to talk to, especially when he had some time to open up. You gave him space to do that - he’d never felt more comfortable with anybody before, somebody he trusted with everything. You listened, told him what he needed to hear when he needed to hear it, and kept him in check all while supporting him from the sidelines and meshing perfectly into his insane life. He was eternally grateful for finding you.
He slides a small box across the table at dinner, and when you open it up, you gasp at what’s inside. A dainty necklace, a glossy “C” hanging on the end of it, where it would sit against your chest. 
You let his deft fingers close the tiny clasp behind your neck, the pendant hanging perfectly, glimmering in the amber candlelight of the restaurant. “You’re gonna make me cry,” you laugh through a watery smile, Carmy’s hand crossing the table to slide into yours. Warm skin against warm skin, you smile at his small display of affection, tilting your glass towards him as he clinked it with yours. 
You notice something might be up when you get back into his car, and he doesn’t take the turn off back to your shared apartment. Instead, he veers off into another lane, holding onto your thigh and giving it a gentle squeeze for encouragement. 
You’re down by the water now, making a confused expression at your surroundings. City lights around you, the bustling of other people on dates or nights out, as Carmy pulls into the parking lot of a hotel. 
“What are we doing here?” You look at the people stepping into the hotel lobby, some dressed in clothing that was probably more than your rent. He wordlessly turns off his car and exits through the driver’s side, saying something to the valet before grabbing a bag out of the back seat and rounding back to your side. He opens the door for you and takes your hand, before leading you through the doors and into the grand front lobby.
Crystal chandeliers hung from the ceiling above as he took your hand and lead you to the front desk, a confused scowl still across your features. The person at the front desk waved you two over, typing something into the computer. “Good evening. Checking in?”
Carmy nods, handing over his ID and credit card before smiling down at you.
“We’re checking in?”
“Happy Anniversary.”
You have to make sure your mouth isn’t hanging open, as Carmy’s coy smile plays along his lips. 
“You didn’t have to do all of this,” you whisper to him, feeling heat spread across your cheeks as you take in your surroundings. Your hand slips into his as you press your cheek to his jacketed shoulder. “Let me show you to your room.”
An elevator ride to the top floor has you antsy, as the attendant opens the door for you to your room. She reveals a lake-front room, with views of the harbour, twinkling lights in the distance reflecting onto the massive floor-to-ceiling window. “Is it to your liking, Mr. and Mrs. Berzatto?”
A blush runs up your cheeks as the insinuation. Carmy didn’t correct her, just slipped her a tip and assured her the room was perfect. The door clicked politely behind you as you stepped into the room and kicked off your shoes. You turned around to meet Carmy’s eyes as his expression softened, your hands coming up to cup his face.
“I can’t believe you did this.” You’re breathless, still taking in this grand gesture he’d somehow planned completely behind your back.
“You deserve it,” he said simply, tongue darting between his lips as a strong hand came to overlap yours. 
~
The sun had gone down now, navy sky further illuminating the lights below. Rain slacked against the window, simultaneously hard and soft, the glow of the bedside lamps casting shadows on the walls as you got yourself settled. Carmy had abandoned his jacket and tie, leaving him in a crisp white button-up shirt and black slacks. He was laid back on the bed, one hand behind his head, taking some time to relax.
You dipped into the bathroom, smoothing out your hair and checking your makeup in the mirror. You undid the back of your dress and let it slip down your body into a pool on the tile, revealing the gift you’d picked out for Carmy. A black lace set - cupping your breasts perfectly. Lace panties to match, connected to stockings that came high up on your thighs. 
You stepped out, stocking-clad feet soft against the carpet. Carmy immediately notices, eyes blown wide as he sits up to take you in. 
“Thought you might want your gift now,” you sauntered towards him and met him at the end of the bed, his thighs spread for you to fit between them. His hands immediately came up to touch - to confirm you were real, mostly - because his brain was telling him you weren’t.
You looked down at him, cupping his chin with your hand and the other coming down to his shoulder. Pushing down on him gently, his back hit the mattress, wild eyes not moving off of you for even a second. 
You move to straddle his lap, fingers coming down to start unfurling the buttons on his shirt, revealing the soft skin of his chest. Carmy’s rough, calloused fingertips pressed into the plush skin of your hips, eyes wanting to flutter closed but being too entranced by the sight before him to look away. 
His fiery eyes fell to the swell of your breasts, hands coming up to press and squeeze at the skin there, thumbs ghosting over your hard nipples. You felt your back arch, pressing against his palms, wanting more, as much of him as you could get. 
Carmy’s hands slid down your body to find your clothed core, eliciting a small moan from your lips. You rutted into his hand slightly, feeling his skilful fingers start to work at you over the lace.
You weren’t expecting to give him the upper hand, but it was hard not to submit to his touch - wholly his, looking down at him but still feeling as though he had all the power.
He was sitting up now, pushing your panties to the side and feeling the slick between your folds, maintaining eye contact with you through it all. “Carm,” you panted, strained, embarrassed to be coming apart for him already.
As if he knew, he pulled away, wordlessly bringing his fingers up to your lips. You wrapped your mouth around them, letting your tongue dart between the digits as he wet them with your spit.
“Pretty girl,” he muttered, only loud enough for you to hear, earnest eyes looking up at you, fuzzy around the edges with lust. “My pretty slut, aren’t you?”
“Just for you,” you replied, a smirk on the corner of your lip as he swiftly grabbed your hips and flipped you to have your back on the soft hotel comforter.
He stood before you, giving you a chance to unbutton the rest of his shirt and undo his dress pants, his hand now cradling your chin. You pushed his slacks to the floor, rubbing his thick cock over the fabric of his black boxers. His hand came down to pet your hair, taking a fistful of it at the nape and pulling it back to reveal your shiny lips and eager eyes to him. The pendant he purchased for you glinted in the light.
“Tell me how bad you want it.”
His firm hand on the back of your neck was enough to make your cunt weep, even without his touch. “Please, I need your cock. Please.”
“Good girl. Sit up, all fours.”
You quickly found yourself on your knees on the soft bed, as he let his cock free. He pumped it a few times, angling your mouth with his grip to allow it to drop open. He pressed forward, slipping in between your wet lips and eliciting a carnal groan from his throat. You let yourself submit to his face-fucking, using your mouth to get himself off, leaking tip pressing against the back of your throat. You gagged around him, throat constricting, which only emboldened him to continue. Spit escaped the corners of your lips as you took him in, swallowing him down, all while looking up and batting your long lashes at him. 
“Taking it so good,” he remarked, with a particularly long thrust into your throat. Leaning forward, his broad hand found a fistful of your ass, squeezing it before planting a firm spank. A yelp escaped your lips, as tears pricked at the corners of your eyes from the force of him in your throat.  
He pulled you off, cock bobbing between his legs before he smeared the spit that had collected all over your plush lips. “So fucking good for me, baby.”
You smiled triumphantly as he leaned down to kiss you sloppily, mixing your spit with his and taking the time to undo your bra and throw it to the ground. 
You didn’t even mind when he pushed you back onto the bed, pulling the stockings and panties off to meet your bra on the floor, surely ripping them. His hands pushed your thighs apart, wet pussy on full display as he dove right in, not giving you even a second to catch your breath.
“Fu-uck,” your voice was hoarse and jagged, his warm tongue feeling like it was everywhere. You squirmed beneath his strong squeeze, forcing your back off the mattress as he licked a broad stripe up your centre and flashed his eyes up at you.
Your eyes were trained on his movements, knowing better than to close them. Your hand came down to his sandy curls, feeling your breath quicken as he suckled on your clit, moving his jaw in such a way that was sending an electrifying pulse up your spine.
He moved one hand from your thigh to circle your entrance with his middle finger, enjoying the way you shuddered at the feeling. “Please,” you begged, watching as he detached his tongue from your clit to simply play with your hole. “Please, I need you inside of me.”
His lips pursed as he waited for you to understand why he wasn’t proceeding. A knowing glance, a sob from you as he teased you. “Are you talking to me? I don’t think I heard you correctly.”
“Please, daddy. Please fuck me with your fingers.”
“That’s better.” He plunged into you, thick finger curling inside as you let out a choked sob, your cunt pulsing around him as he moved in and out. His lips attached to your clit once again, sucking and grinding his tongue into you, other hand coming up along your stomach to grab your tit and pinch your nipple.
You rasped his name, throat raw from his previous fucking, letting it pour out of your lips over and over. He lapped at you - feeling every quiver from your pussy and shake of your legs as he continued at a bruising pace, not letting up no matter how much you squirmed beneath him. Still pushing you into the mattress, his own cock rutting against the sheets and growing harder every second that his mouth is on you.
A white-hot feeling spread across the back of your thighs, back arched as you tugged on his hair and met his gaze. He rode out your high with you, letting you gush around his fingers and feeling waves of pleasure rise and fall as your breath steadied. Your chest heaving, sticky with sweat, mascara smeared at the edges as you laid back, feeling Carmy’s fingers pull out and his mouth detach from you.
He found himself between your thighs once more, rock-hard cock sliding between your slick folds to tease your overly sensitive clit. He kissed you, a hunger within him, arms coming up under you to hold you as close as possible. Bare skin against bare skin, his mouth sucking in your bottom lip and biting down slightly, eliciting a smile from you and a depraved moan from your lips.
You reached down between your two bodies and slipped his cock into your ready pussy, swallowing him inside of you and hearing his gasp against your lips at the friction. A shameless grunt as his hips drove into you relentlessly, his curls falling into your face as your head tipped back, letting his mouth attach to the side of your throat and suck a bruise into the soft skin beneath your ear. Your hands found the strong muscles of his back, digging them into his skin and finding your legs wrapping around his middle.
An assaulting pace, languidly in and out of you as you met his eyes, pure lust and fire behind them. You could see the idea flash across his eyes.
He pulled out of you gingerly, as you winced at the loss of contact. He pulled you up with him, towards the windows of the hotel room.
He lightly pushed you against the cold glass, earning a sinful moan from your lips as he took your hands hostage behind your back. The rain still pelted down outside, a symphony against your hard and fast breath.
“Why don’t you show all those people how you like to get fucked, huh? Show them what a slut you are?”
A devilish smile on your lips was met with your cheek against the glass, a broad palm on the opposite side of your face, as his cock slid back into your pussy with ease. Your ass was pushed out for him to land a firm slap on it once again, picking up his pace. His hand came around to push your legs apart, playing with your clit and drawing you close once again, as he released your hands to leave prints on the glass.
“Fill me up, please daddy,” you moaned, letting your head fall slack. “I want you to cum so fucking deep inside of me, fuck,” — another spank, paired with jagged thrusts as Carmy got closer to finishing — “fuck me like you own me, baby.”
“I do own you,” he growled, forehead pressed against your shoulder blades as he felt your pussy clench around him. “Cum baby, cum with all those people fucking watching you.” 
“You own me Carmen, I’m yours.” you chanted, turning around to meet his eyes. You watched his eyes glaze over and jaw hang open as his thrusts slowed, making a mess of your pussy as he came deep inside of you.
Your second orgasm followed soon after, cock twitching inside of you as you clenched around him. He pressed a kiss to your shoulder as you stepped away from the glass, legs unstable as a furious warmth came up over your cheeks.
After getting cleaned up together in the bathroom, he flicked off the light as you turned towards the window. His body pressed up against yours, arm secured around your waist as he peppered kisses along your neck and shoulders, musing about how beautiful you are.
“Best thing that’s ever happened to me,” he whispered, another kiss to the outer shell of your ear that made a shiver go up your spine. “I love you more than anything.”
You curled into him and listened to the relaxing rain, his steadying breath and strong arm lulling you safely to sleep.
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faerygrant · 4 months
Text
cellophane - toxic carmy
nsfw
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౨ৎ Carmy who pushes you away for the first two months under the guise of selflessness, because he believes you deserve better than him.
౨ৎ Carmy who finds himself becoming more and more infatuated with you. Your charm, smell, laughter, it’s all encompassing.
౨ৎ Carmy who notices the glint in your eyes whenever the two of you would make eye contact.
౨ৎ Carmy who ceases any and all contact with you when he finds himself increasingly drawn to you.
౨ৎ Carmy who busies himself with work, pushing himself to the limit, to the point where he’s experiencing migraines, bloodied fingers and aching muscles.
౨ৎ Carmy who believes working himself to death is the only way to keep himself from thinking romantic thoughts of you and staying atop his game.
౨ৎ Carmy who berates you over the phone in a moment of rage when you call him for the 100th time that week, worried for his well-being (Richie had called you).
౨ৎ Carmy who in a moment of weakness and vulnerability following another sleep walking mishap, asks you to come over after weeks of ghosting and radio-silence.
౨ৎ Carmy who gets you into bed, licking you raw as an apology for the way he treated you, till you’re an overstimulated, whining mess begging for him to stop, to which he refuses, not until he feels that he deserves to.
౨ৎ Carmy who finally gets inside you after an hour of worshipping your cunt, immediately the pleasure taking over him, making him forget all his troubles and worries.
౨ৎ Carmy who in a moment of utter vulnerability mutters into your ears, that he loves you as he paints your walls white with his seed.
౨ৎ Carmy who doesn’t even wait for your reply before he realises what he’s said and is immediately pulling out of you and asking you to leave.
౨ৎ Carmy who realises after a month of silence from you that he’s complete fucked everything up.
౨ৎ Carmy who stalks your Instagram daily, only to find one Saturday evening that you were out with some dickhead at a local bar.
౨ৎ Carmy who gets overcome with a sense of jealousy he’d never felt before in his entire life, possessiveness even.
౨ৎ Carmy who shows at your apartment later that night to remind you who you belong to.
-
“Did you fuck him?” Carmen asks you bluntly, cigarette in hand, and hair disheveled.
“Carmy what the fuck are you doing at my house at 2 in the morning?” You question him as you cross your arms defensively.
“ I asked you a fucking question, y’gnna answer me?” He persists, throwing his cigarette onto the floor before stubbing it out and coming closer to the door.
“Why does it matter, you fucking ghosted me!” You yell at him, looking deep into his blue eyes.
“It fuckin matters because someone is trying to take what’s mine.” He blurts and you genuinely don’t know whether to cry or laugh.
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neonovember · 1 year
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dating carmen
a carmen berzatto headcanon for all of us feening for season 2
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i must admit I was bored at the start of bear and than the next few minutes I was immediately hooked! carmen is such a unique character with so many layers I’d love to uncover as the seasons progress, but for now these are all coming from the depths of my mind :)
I’ve consumed about all the bear content tumblr has to offer so it’s only right I add to the shallow pool, even though this was pure self indulgence
carmy x reader inserts below!
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we all know that Carmen has little to no experience with relationship, so the beginning of yours does not come without challenges. It’s hard for him, he barely registers his own emotions much anyone else’s, but in a way he has this subconscious itch in his mind to constantly know if your okay, to ask about your day, it becomes second nature with you.
Carmen refuses to call you by your actual name, often replacing it with honey, baby girl, sweetheart and with the way that accent glides over those words like honey you can’t bring yourself to protest
Carmen has never really thought of having kids, building a family or being tied to someone forever but sometimes, when he sees you fluttering around the apartment you both share, or giggling with richie's daughter he can’t help but imagine building something like that with you, some time. he doesn't doubt that if he did every have children, you would be the mother of his kids. he has visions of it, dreams where you have a gorgeous girl he would hold close or a mini mickey running around, he has to forget it though, he’s just not ready.
Carmen barely ever eats, despite being a chef, most of the things he consumes is easily accessible and in turn flavourless and unsatisfying. but after you come into his life, you practically force him to eat every time you see him, until carmen begins to eat whenever you're near. You can’t lie, it heals something in you
let’s also talk about the totally canon time where you were up late writing one night and carmen had just come back from the beef, tiptoeing through the corridor to not wake you up until he sees you sprawled out on the couch. there’s this tension that leaves his soldiers and he wastes no time taking his shoes off and sliding under the blankets, burying his tired body into yours, grease stained shirt and all but you don’t mind. you’d scratch and brush back his hair and he’d groan in bliss, closing his eyes before you would ask him that fateful question. carmen feels guilty every time he replies with the same 2 letter word, but every time you tell him that it’s part of being his. he couldn’t lie when he felt his jeans tighten at that sentence.
continuing onto that vision, despite your amateur cooking skills, you whip up something quick for Carmen that is actual sustenance and Carmen has to force his eyes open to watch you as you cook, completely and forever enraptured by you. and this man is crazy with his eye contact so imagine it with someone he loves. it’s inSANE
feeding carmen when he’s back from the beef and is too tired to lift a hand. he’s just murmuring ‘I love yous’ repeatedly between bites and you can’t help but giggle. he’s so delirious from lack of sleep all he can form are words that have been written into his tongue like muscle memory
as we see carmen, dealing with his anxiety and unresolved trauma is often terrorised by night terror and ptsd, and that kind of causes him to have this fear of you finding out somehow, whether that be by staying over or him falling asleep next to you, it all comes to a head one night when exactly that happens, and when carmen realise you haven’t stared at him in judgement or left with the door wide open it’s like everything changes. he’s finally found someone that accepts him fully, with all his jagged ends and sharp corners and he is gone at that moment. he is totally and completely head over heels in love with you.
after that revelation you are spending most nights over at his apartment, and whilst the nightmares are still there, as they might always be, there is a relief when he wakes up and feels the beat of your body rubbing circles gently across his back
the progression of your relationship with carmen happens a bit like falling asleep, slow at first and then all at once. it doesn’t take long for Carmen to confess his love to you, in that awkward yet charming way of his, and it takes even shorter after that for you to move in with him
speaking of, carmen probably fell in love with you the second he saw you, that glow that shone in a place that wasn’t the beefs kitchen, he just couldn’t quite actualise or express his feelings
he’s probably hear Tina or Ebra teasing you about a guy they had seen you with, which was no one but your cousin, and carmen would feel this burn across his chest that sinks his stomach, and then we would just know. you would be noticing the change in his demeanour at the mention of a guy connected to you, he’ll the whole kitchen did, especially when Tina would give you a look when he chastised everyone to ‘get back to work because this place isn’t gonna run itself’
I heard someone post about washing carmen’s hair and just- yes. he’s too exhausted to even eat so washing carmen’s hair would be a frequent thing. you’d always have to do it at night though because carmen would sneak a hand around your waist and hoist you up and then proceed to fuck you against the tile walls. You couldn’t be late, he couldn’t be late. For the 100th time.
carmen is touch starved, and that makes him so incredibly needy, you don’t mind however, because you're as touch starved as him. there are times where he comes home and just reaches for you, mumbling incoherent words before just grabbing your hips and making you straddle him on the living room coach. he’s so sensitive and blissed out then, even the slightest thrust of your closed core against his tight jeans leaves him whimpering
oh yeah carmen whimpers, I mean are you kidding? Look at that man
carmen, despite not having many relationships under his belt, is ridiculously, I mean concerningly good at eating your pussy. this man will spend hours, edging you, nibbling on your inner thighs, licking and sucking before thirsting a finger and tongue into you with no warning. he knows every single inch of your body, he’s got it memorised, he dreams about it in the office, on his smoke breaks, in the kitchen, hell especially in the kitchen. getting hard all over again when he remembers the sweet taste of you on his tongue, and how you fell apart with his name on yours.
you think carmen is needy during sex? he’s a whole other thing after, this man will keep his cock buried in you long after your highs, until it gets soft and uncomfortable, and even then he needs you close to him, holding you tight against his chest or having you rest your cheek on his collarbone
bear hugs. lots and lots of bear guys. there's something about carmen’s arms that just make you feel so soft and warm wrapped up in them
carmen really likes how you smell, its almost primal (ehm anthtony bridgerton) he loves washing his body with you scented body wash, even if cousin would tease the fuck out of him for smelling like strawberries, carmen just shakes his head and smiles at the reminder that he is completely and utterly yours.
carmen isn't that rambunctious with his displays of affection, it's subtle, like making you coffee before he leaves or getting down to tie your shoes for you, but it's genuine. it's unique to him, it’s carmen. he'd probably design a dish based on you without realising how goddamn romantic that is. i imagine him calling you to the kitchen and getting you to try something, little scribbled notes written on paper and a little notebook with written and rewritten recipes and you'd ask what it is and he'd reply with "you" and then idk he’d maybe ask you to marry him
carmy would be an absolutely emotional mess on your wedding day, it's partly because he didn't think he'd have a life that included one, and partly because couldn't wrap his head around you actually saying yes. He’s crying when you both wake up on that morning, hes crying when you both sneak away to see each other before the altar, he's crying when he sees you walking down, you've got a box of tissues attached to your dress for him
carmen is a perfectionist, he has this insatiable need to make things beyond perfect, his work is his passion and that need seeps into most of life. however, a lot of the times things in your relationship don’t go right, and it’s mostly why he has never really given his all to one, he’s scared he’ll fuck it up and once that happens you cant start again, you can’t redo the recipe with a new batch. But carmen, slowly, very slowly, learns that things don't have to be perfect, they just have to be real.
You're carmen's unofficial official taste tester. One snowed in night, you and carm just stayed up all night, designing and tweaking recipes and new dishes for the bear, with carm mostly doing the designing and you being his very scrutinising critic
carmy loved whatever you called him, i think he kind of froze the first time you called his name, but he especially loves it when you call him by his full name. everyone else kinda has the same nickname for him but he loves that you call him by something only you do, because he will always call for you
And oh my god if you call him ‘husband’ after you get married? It does something unholy to him
carmen is constantly searching for you, he gets anxious when you aren't around or when your late, you are his best friend beyond his lover and the only person he can truly feel at ease with, the crew are his family as they are yours but there is so much that he bottles that he can only express to you during those nights under light of the moon and sweat covered sheets.
you take everything carmen gives, and there is so much that he does, but it was not always that easy, loving carmen was hard, it was frustrating and overwhelming and carmen is forever trying to give you the love he could not those first few months where he closed himself off to you
sometimes, your heart aches so much with the love you have for carmen, and carmen sometimes feels like he's wading through a current when he thinks of you, he just wants to give into the rush of love and adoration that overwhelms him. its personified in every vessel of his life, he's got polaroids of you stuck to his car mirror, in his wallet, he's got your necklace around his neck and drinks from your mug, you ruined him for anyone else, and he can't imagine his life without you, your scent, your hair products and bring pink toothbrush all over it.
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carmenberzattosgf · 4 months
Note
It's 💙💙💙me again !I've Come to be annoying ! Lol . Okay so hear me out , it's cold as shit in Chicago during the winters and the reader just moved there and isn't used to it and her clothes arent warm enough and it makes carmen annoyed as hell BECAUSE ITS COLD AND WHAT ARE YOU DOING ?? So he's always giving you his coat and reader is always like "no no no , you're gonna be cold 🥺🥺🥺" while she's grabbing his biceps but at the same time she's like all "heheheeh" on the inside and giddy and he just gives her a stern look and spank on the ass for being irresponsible 🫣 but at the same time he loves her wearing his jacket and now she's only allowed to wear his jacket basically 💙
You could never annoy me friend!!
But yes I sooo agree with this. I’m thinking pre relationship you would show up to work after walking there when it was FREEZING. All you have to keep you warm is a flimsy little jacket. You suck it up and don’t complain.
Carmy notices though when the day is over and you’re about to head out back into the cold with your sad excuse for a jacket.
“Y/N. Did you forget your jacket in your locker or something? It’s freezing you need to go grab it.”
“This is all I’ve got! I haven’t had time to buy a proper winter jacket since moving here. I’ll be fine though. I made it this morning just fine.” The concerned look on Carmy’s face turns into one of complete shock.
“What the hell were you thinking? It’s like 20 degrees outside.” Carmy begins to unbutton his thick fleece-lined denim jacket and shrug it down his shoulders.
“Woah, woah, woah. What are you doing?” You grab at his arms to stop his movements. His biceps flex beneath your palms. You knew he was ripped, but to feel his muscles under your own hand is much different than just looking at them.
“I’m letting you wear my jacket.” You two argue back and forth before you finally give in. He stands behind you and helps you slip the jacket on. It’s soft and cozy, and the smell of Carmen overwhelms you. “There we go. That’s much better now, isn’t it?”
You couldn’t lie. He was right. “Thank you Carmy. I’ll get this back to you tomorrow. Promise.”
“No. Don’t worry about it. You said you didn’t have time to get a jacket, right? Consider it a ‘welcome to Chicago’ gift.”
“You don’t have to do that! This is a really nice jacket. I don’t want to take it from you.”
“Trust me. I have plenty just like it. Besides, it looks nice on you.”
Now once you two are in a relationship? Yeah you forget your (his) jacket on purpose just so you can wear whatever one he wore to work back home. The main reason behind this is so you can smell like him for however long the jacket retains his scent.
He’s come to expect this and actually keeps an extra jacket in his locker so he doesn’t freeze to death in Chicago winter.
But yes. Every single time it happens he will playfully scold you and slap you on the ass because he knows you love it.
He truly cannot get enough of you in his clothes. He would walk home in the blistering cold if it meant he got to see you wearing one of his jackets
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thebearer · 8 months
Note
Idky but I always forget to take my daily vitamins and I never set a reminder for some reason but can you write carmy reminding you to take your vitamins
"Have you seen my keys?" You frown, patting your jacket pockets lightly, turning in a half circle in the kitchen.
"Yeah, uh, by the fruit bowl." Carmen nods, zipping up his backpack on the stool.
"Thanks, baby." You hum, swiping the keys from besides the bowl, reaching down to scratch Anchovy's head when you passed him. "Are you working late tonight?"
"Nine, maybe." Carmen's tone dropped, a low groan in his words. "I'll let you know if it's later, but should be nine. You want me to bring you anything?"
"You don't have to." You shake your head, grabbing your lunch out of the fridge- the lunch Carmen always packed for you. "I was just wondering. I was going to make dinner when I got home, didn't know if I should make you some."
"Yeah, no, sorry." Carmen muttered, swiping a coke out of the fridge. "You could come to family if you want."
"I'll have to see if I get out in time. I think my last meeting with my client is at five. Not sure if I'll make it across the city in time." You pout lightly, shoving a water bottle in your work tote. "I'll come tomorrow, though. Don't let Tina cook until then." You grin.
Carmen smirked, snorting lightly at you. "Yeah, I won't. I'll tell her that, too. She'll love that." He shook his head.
"Alright, I gotta go. Bye, baby-"
"-Hey, hey, wait." Carmen pulled you back slightly.
You huffed, rolling your eyes lightly. "Carm, I'm in a rush."
Carmen leaned over, swiping the vitamins off the counter with the small glass of water he left you. Even with him laying them out, sometimes you still forgot- the mornings too hectic.
"Open up f'me." Carmen muttered, your cheeks flushing with heat. He dropped the vitamins on your tongue lightly, hand sliding to your jaw while you took a swig of water, swallowing them down.
"Good girl. Thank you." Carmen muttered, your body tingling with heat and excitement. He cradled your jaw, pulling you close and kissing you sweetly. "Have a good day, baby. Text me when you get there, alright? And call me if anyone's bein' fuckin' weird to you on the L."
"I will." You hummed, dizzy and a little dazed. "Love you, Carm."
"Love you. I'll see you tonight." Carmen pressed another kiss to your cheek, swinging on his backpack as you left.
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lazyneonrabbitt · 8 months
Note
double p*netration with carmy/lip/reader please 😳😳
Ohohohoho anon ILY for this.
There's porn here. 18+ blah blah minors piss off.
"What if we both fuck her tonight?" Carmy's question came during a shared cigarette, hanging out of the kitchen window.
"What are you talking about, we basically always both fuck her." Lip offers him back the cigarette with a questioning look.
"Yeah, I mean, we do. But we always take turns." He gestured between the them to accentuate his comment to which Lip's brows raised in interest before quickly waving the whole thing off again. "Forget about it man, she won't do anal. Begged and bribed my way through college to let me but she never would. Absolute turn off for her."
"Think she'll fit us both?" It was a sincere question, thanks to some stupid videos Richie had shoved in his face after work. 'To give him some ideas.'
~~☆☆☆~~
You were straddling Carmy, his cock all the way inside you while Lip's hand rested on your lower back, stuffing three lubed up fingers insides of you as well. Your moans were muffled with your face in the crook of Carmy's neck and biting down. Lip being rough with you was nice, especially with Carmy being ever so soft with you to balance it out. Fingers were pulled from you and a short moment later you feel the tip of Lip's cock slide down your ass. Your high pitched whine was a sound he knew all too well.
"Shh, baby. He won't do it." It was Carmen who comforted you, a hand on the back of your head and the other rubbing soothing circles on your shoulder. You felt him move further down and prod at your entrance where Carmy was still inside. He pulled away for a moment, only to return his previous actions with his dick covered in a thick layer of lubricant. "Just keep breathing, baby.." Carmen's soothing voice whispered, kissing the side of your head as Lip held his head on the other side of you. "Gonna fill you up real good, gonna go slow for you." With some awkward moving around he pushed his tip past your entrance.
"Fuh-- god, ahh.." Your pained cry was joined by groans of the two boys. Your fingers pulling hard on Carmy's curls as gour tried to breathe through the pressure of them stretching you beyond anything you ever felt.
"Hhnng.. Too much--" Lip slowly pushed further in despite your protests, each time only a fraction of an inch and stopping to let you adjust for a moment. "You can take it, sweetheart." and "doing so good for us." fell from their lips. All while Carmy moaned with every one of the other's thrusts, the feeling of Lip's cock against his was new but not unwelcome. His sounds only turned you on more. You kissed and licked at every bite mark you had left on Carmy's shoulder, apologizing between gasps and sighs.
Once fully in, tears were streaming down your face. Any bit of movement shot straight to your core, being so full made you feel every single twitch. Being pulled backwards against Lip's chest you let out a cry one of them rubbed right against that spot that had you see stars. It felt so good you were afraid you'd come as soon as they started to move.
Carmen took the change in position as an oportunity to play with your tits, rolling the hardened nubs between his skilled fingers. "Ah Carm--" You tried to beg him not to tease but all the stimulation took your voice, nothing but whines leaving you.
Whines turned into moans from all three of you as Lip announced he felt like you adjusted long enough and carefully lifted your hips and pulled you down in a slow, steady rythm. It only took a few thrusts for you to be a babbling mess, trying your hardest to form a sentence but failing. To your luck Lip understood your fucked dumb language and moved his fingers to rub on your clit, adding rhat bit of extra pressure to push you over the edge.
You cried out as your walls clenched around the two cocks buried deep inside of you, encouraging them to keep thrusting. Carmen's hands laid over Lip's, squeezing your skin and setting a quicker pace. Both boys only chasing their own release now, dragging you along to another high with their hard thrusts and loud groans, both so close that they could barely hold back. "God, Lip- Close.." Carmen rasped as his grip on you tightened. "Fuck- Yeah, me too." You clawed at Carmen's chest, forehead pressed against his collarbone as you clenches hard around them again, their desperate tones getting you off before both of them followed suit. They came one after the other, only one or teo thrusts in between, stilling inside of you until they were fully spent.
You fell limp against Carmen, having Lip pull out first and grabbing some paper towels for you to leak onto as Carmen pulled out and carefully placed you on the bed.
"Sould we run her a bath, get her cleaned up?" Lip gives you a quick look before answering. "Lets get a warm towel and clean her off first. If she wakes then we'll bathe her."
~~☆☆☆~~
A/N: this one was funky to write. Three people together is like a nasty game of twister so not much position swapping happened lol. Hope you enjoyed it!!
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sunflowersteves · 10 months
Note
can you write about carmy getting his first blowjob????
the way I crave this man is insane 😩 of course I can, hun
pairing || carmen berzatto x fem!reader
warnings || fluff, established relationship, reader has manicured nails, SMUT, blowjob, mention of eating out, praise kink, 18+ ONLY MINORS DNI
masterlist
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It was way past closing time at the restaurant. All of the other employees had left, finishing their duties, while Richie was furiously cleaning the floors. His arm felt like it was about to fall off as he scrubbed the dirty tile.
Carmen, on the other hand, was chopping vegetables. His hand moved fast across the cutting board, making thumping sounds as the knife sliced each carrot.
Richie scoffed. “Do you seriously need to do this right now, cousin?”
Carmen didn’t even blink. He just continued to chop up the remaining vegetables, with all of his focus on cooking. After putting the carrots into the pot, he starts to finely dice a red onion.
“Yes, cousin. I just—I just need to perfect this recipe, and then we’re good.” 
Richie rolled his eyes but still scrubbed. “You’re such a jagoff.”
Carmen had a habit of trying to perfect every single recipe thrown his way. When he tasted the soup earlier, his nose scrunched up. Something about it just felt off—and it was driving him insane. It tasted too salty and too acidic. He needed to figure out how to make it better.
He turned to the boiling pot of chicken stock and gently placed the onion slices into the stew. “Yo, cousin. I got it. Go home.” He didn’t even wait for an answer as he expertly sliced into a tomato.
Richie stood up from the ground. “Sure. Just don’t make your girl wait too long.”
For the first time in their conversation, Carmen looked over at him. There was even a small smile on his lips. “Never. Not to her.”
Richie half-smiled. “Alright, you fuckin’ sap. I’m leaving.” On the inside, Richie was beaming. He couldn’t get over how happy you make Carmen—hell, how happy you make the whole kitchen. Your presence was entirely needed in a place like this.
He knocked twice on the office door and announced his leave to you. You opened the door with a wide grin and bid him goodnight. “Don’t forget to tell Eva about the tickets!” You called out as Richie walked out the door.
Richie was practically glowing at the mention of his daughter. “Thank you for finding amazing seats, by the way, sweetheart! You’re a fucking lifesaver!” With that, Richie was out of sight as the door closed on him.
Carmen’s eyes flickered up at the sound of your voice. His head swiveled around to see you already staring at him. Your body leaned over the office door frame—pretty manicured nails sparkling against the contrasted white of the walls.
“Hi, baby.” He says. 
“Hi, Carm.” You say back, smiling. 
He puts the sharp knife down and wipes his hand on the towel that was over his shoulder. You walk over to him in the kitchen, and he relishes the proximity of your presence. Your fingers trace the outline of his bicep, and a shiver crawls up his spine. Your hand settles onto his shoulder, and you give a small squeeze.
Your relationship was fairly new. It would officially be three months tomorrow, to be exact. It had gone by pretty fast if he was being honest, but it just felt so good being with you. Despite the newly founded relationship, Carmen couldn’t get over how much you truly mean to him.
You were everything from the late Sunday mornings of snuggling under the sheets to the crazy late nights of telling stories out in the front house of the restaurant. To make matters worse, you got along so well with all of the staff at The Bear. You calmed him down when everything seemed to be directly opposing him. You were always there to press a finger to his chin and a kiss on his cheek. He swore his heart palpitated against his chest every time he thought about you.
“Can I taste?”
He nodded, grabbing a small spoon and dipping it into the soup. His hand hovered under the bottom so it wouldn’t spill. “Open your mouth, baby.”
You did as he said and let your jaw slack open. He places the spoon into your mouth, and you let the delicious, salty soup slide down your throat.
You moan against the spoon. “Holy fuck, Carm.” His eyes never left your face in an attempt to understand your reaction. “That was the best thing I have ever tasted.”
He finally smiles. He felt like he was glowing. “You say that every time I ask you to try something.”
You slid your hand down his chest, feeling the imprint of the chain that rests under his uniform. “And I mean it every fucking time.” His heart buzzed against his chest. His mind felt hazy. He wrapped an arm around your waist and squeezed the soft, plush flesh. His bright eyes were so intense—so full of affection—that it was starting to make you feel hot.
“You wanna taste it too?” You asked innocently.
He nodded and reached for another clean spoon. You smiled wide at the idea of him getting a sparkling clean spoon. He was quickly derailed by the way your lips crashed onto his. He let out a surprised groan, his eyes fluttering close.
You moved in sync until you pushed your tongue into his mouth and tasted the sweet essence of him. He tasted the chicken and onions from the delectable, tasty soup. It was much better than what he had tasted earlier. “Fuck—” He murmured in between the deep kisses. You bubbled out a laugh, but his hand stayed firm on your waist. He didn't want to end the way he felt when your lips graced his own.
You pull apart after the desperation of air becomes too much. You almost laugh again at the sight of his swollen lips and pretty pink cheeks. “See? Taste’s good, doesn’t it?”
A small smirk caressed his lips, but the flustered look was still there. “It tastes very good, sweet girl.”
The nickname prickled goosebumps onto your arms. He has called you that since your third date, but it never ceases to make your heart flutter. He knows it too.
You both start to gravitate toward each other once more. This time the kiss was more intense, with more teeth clashing and attempting to bruise each other’s lips.
“Carmy.” You whine. He growled into you in response and pressed another searing kiss onto your mouth. His hands grip your waist even tighter as if to pull you in even more. A moan slipped from the back of your throat.
Your hands move to the plains of his chest before pushing the two of you apart. His eyebrows furrow as you completely pull away from his embrace. Did he hurt you? It was all he could think. He didn’t want to fuck this up. No, he can’t fuck this up.
“Baby?” He whispers, sounding uncertain.
You don’t say a thing as you sink your knees to the ground, causing Carmen to gasp. His eyes were wide as his stare intensified. “F-Fuck.” His mouth bobs open and closed, trying to find some other words, but all he does is whisper your name.
Your hands moved up and down his thighs. The fabric of his chef uniform was soft against your palms. “Can I take care of you, Carmy?”
Oh, fuck. Your voice sounded so sweet—so thick and kind against his ears. He could feel his cock throb at the anticipation of your touch.
You wait for his answer, still gently rubbing his thighs back and forth. He felt like he was on fire. Nerves crash over him, though. His heart starts to speed up at the anxiety that prickles his skin. He had never done this before.
It wasn’t that the opportunity didn’t arise because it did. You asked many times if he wanted a blowjob, but all he wanted was to lick into your folds again. It was like his mind was drunk off of the sweet, tangy nectar, and he wasn't about to let go. He needed you more and more. He discovered he was much more of a giver.
Normally, he takes his sweet time with you. The first time he had ever tasted anyone was you. He always asks—that desperation in his voice. “Can I taste you? Please? F-Fuck, I see you dripping. Oh—Please?” Once he got confirmation, he would spread your legs and dip his tongue into your sweet folds. He could eat you out for hours—and he has.
He would groan against you as his tongue pushed through your folds. You tasted tangy and sour—so sweet to his taste buds, making his hands grip an indent into your flesh. The whimpers and whines that you let out are music to his ears, and he wishes the sounds were burned onto his soul. His eyes would always be latched onto yours, refusing to break the intense contact. He could fucking live in your pussy.
He couldn’t say no to you, though, could he? His cock was about ready to start leaking pre-cum. Your eyes looked so dilated and large with lust that he couldn't resist. 
“F-fuck, okay. Yeah, baby. J-just—” He breaks out into a moan from your eager hands. They pushed down his pants, pooling around his ankles almost in an instant.
“Wait-wait—”
You stop immediately and let go of his thighs. Some concern is etched across your face, and it makes his heart skip a beat.
“I just—I just want you to know that I’ve never done this before. I don’t—” He gulps. “I don’t want to make you feel uncomfortable.”
You almost let out a gasp. It was his first blowjob that you were going to give him, and he was worried about you. His eyebrows are furrowed and he's huffing out a breath. He just didn't want you to feel like you have to do something like this.
“Oh, Carmy, baby, I’m not uncomfortable at all. I’ve been wanting to do this to you for so long, but you kind of get distracted.” There was that implication that he knew about so well. A blush kissed the tip of his ears.
“You sure, baby? I’m not-I’m not forcing you?”
You wanted to know who hurt this man. His anxiety about making you feel comfortable was always through the roof. You grabbed his clenched hand and opened his palm. You pressed a sweet kiss. “No, baby. You’re not forcing me.”
He visibly relaxes his shoulders. “Okay.” He breathes out. “Okay.”
You avert your attention back to his thighs—and what’s between them. He could practically see your mouth water at the bulge that protruded out from his boxers. Carmen had always been big. No one had ever told him that before, in the late kind-of drunken night stands that he had. When you first had sex at his apartment and could really take a peek at his weeping cock, your eyes widened drastically.
You knew he was big, but goddamn, he is big.
“Can I, handsome?”
You looked up at him with a cute smile. The nickname caused his heart to stutter—his cheeks deepening the shade of red. "Yeah, baby." He says. Then he whispers, “Please.”
You dragged his boxers down his thighs, and they pooled right on top of his slacks. His cock sprung up from the force—already more than half hard and aching. His eyes can’t seem to stare at anything else but you. You looked so eager—so excited—to have his dick right in front of your face. It made his stomach flip. 
Your hand curls around the base, and he sucks in a breath. Your fingers just barely wrapped around the entirety of his length. Your manicured nails dug slightly into the large vein on the side—it made him choke on his own spit. 
“So fuckin’ big, Carmy.” You whined. You started to pump, it was a small motion, but it still made him moan. It sounded so desperate, making your ears ring. You couldn’t wait any longer, mouth watering at the sight of pre-cum already sprouting from his tip. 
You kissed the tip of his cock, and he shivered. “F-Fuck, baby—” He moans. He could feel his whole body throbbing—aching at the way you made him feel. 
You swirl your tongue around the ruddy tip and continue to tease him, wrapping your lips around the sensitive area. His hand immediately goes to the back of your head, unable to help himself. “Oh, fuck, holy shit—your fucking mouth, shit—”
His knees wobbled, the other hand steadying himself on the kitchen counter. “Y’taste so good, Carmy.” Your words were slurred with lust, making his own eyes dilate. His heart palpitated at you loving this—the insecurities from earlier disappearing like water down a drain. 
You start to take him even further. Your lips slowly ease down his cock, and one of your hands, still wrapped around the shaft, gave a squeeze. He choked on nothing and watched how you hollow your cheeks. You’re only halfway, but he swears he is seeing stars. “Feels so good, baby—so fucking good.” He squeezes his hand. 
Pride blooms within you, as well as the praises from him making you clench around nothing. You wanted to start touching yourself, but the intense desperation to keep a hand on his cock was greater. You choked a little as his hips unconsciously gave a small thrust. It made him let out a loud moan. 
He’s not sure where the confidence came from, but it’s spewing out of his mouth before he can stop it. “Fucking—shit—can you take all of it, sweet girl? Hmm?” 
He licks his lips. “Can you t-take my whole cock in your mouth?” He lets out a huff of air as you moan around his cock. “Be–be my good girl, yeah?”
The only confirmation you can give is the way your eyes gloss over. Tears threaten to poke out from your eyes, and the sight makes Carmen let out a curse. You slowly, yet again, take more of him in your mouth. 
“F-fuck,” he drags out. “Good girl—good fuckin’ girl. That’s it.” His knees wobble again, but he stays steady. Pure bliss sprouts in his stomach as he can feel the hot, searing pleasure from your wet mouth. 
You were able to fully take him—nose brushing up against the hair on his pubic bone. He groans and whimpers at the sight of you breathing deeply with his cock shoved down your throat. “Shit–shit–fuck, baby. That’s my pretty girl. Look–look at you choking on my cock. Holy shit—” He whined out. 
Warmth spreads through your chest at the adoration and lust that flows through his eyes. He can’t stop staring at the way you are just barely able to take him whole. His eyes widened even more as he watched you shove your hand down your shorts. 
“Oh, baby—” he says in a coo. “Look so good like that, huh? Fuckin’ touching yourself.” You could feel the way his cock twitches in his mouth. God, where was this coming from? He thought. Something about how your eyes sprung with more tears and you desperately humping your hand for some release was making him insane. 
He thrusts in and out of you, fucking up into your throat. You gagged around the girth of his cock and garbled out a cry. He moaned and whined at the feeling of your throat constricting against his cock and listened to the wet sounds of it all.
“Gonna–gonna cum, baby.” He swore that he saw your eyes sparkle—as if you wanted it all down your throat. He could feel that familiar swirl of an organism puncturing his chest. He panted as he watched the way his cock disappeared into your throat—it was a fucking sight. 
His eyes suddenly turn nervous. “Can-can I cum down your throat? Please?” He sees the way you nod with your mouth full, but he sees it. He sees the raw want and needs that fills your eyes. Yeah, you wanted his cum. You needed his cum. 
“Shitshitshit—” He stammers, thrusting into you two, three times. He groans out, low and guttural, as his seed spills into the back of your throat. He moans out your name in between shaken breaths from the ropes flowing through your mouth—salty and sour. He continues to pump into you, and you swallow every single drop—the added friction of your throat making him whimper. 
His hips still, but his cock stays inside of your mouth, twitching in pleasure. You hum around the base and watch as his body almost writhes. He looks down at you with the most content and relaxed smile you had seen.
You slowly pulled your mouth off of him; the pop noise was small. You started to press sweet kisses to his thighs, his hand going back to rest on your head. “Feel good, bear?”
His eyes were shining. “Felt so good, baby. Y’did so well.” Now his words were slurred with lust. He just couldn’t help but let his whole world revolve around you for a moment. 
You gently put on his boxers and do the same to his chef slacks. He offers you his hand, and he helps you pull yourself up. You wince at the sting in your knees, but in a way, it felt good. 
He immediately takes you into an embrace, not uttering a word. You gladly let him and rest your arms over his shoulder. He grabs your waist tightly and lets his head fall on your shoulder. He breathes in deeply, letting the scent that he knows so well flow into his nose.
He was completely and utterly relaxed—it was a sensation he didn’t feel all that often. You press a gentle kiss to his hair and then to his temple. The two of you just stood like that for some time, saying nothing and enjoying one’s company. 
Both of your attention to each other had ceased as the pot that was on the stove had boiled over. A lot of the soup had crashed onto the burning stove. "Fuck!"
Carmen immediately turned the stove off and let out a relieved sigh that nothing had burned. It would just be a bitch to clean up. You hand him a clean washcloth with a slightly guilty look on your face. He took the cloth from you with an annoyed (it was minorly annoyed) glare before wiping down the area.
"I'm not gonna lie to you, Carm." You say, watching his arms flex. "I don't regret a thing."
He rolled his eyes but chuckled under his breath. "Yeah, yeah. Fuck you." The cursing was lighthearted because he knew it too. He didn't regret anything either. In fact, he encouraged something like this again, maybe just without being in the middle of cooking.
He tried the soup again with the dirty spoon—he had a suspicion that it was going to be thrown out anyway. "Shit—Fuck—it's overcooked."
You laughed, one hand resting on your chest. He glared again. "Hey, you can't—seriously, we burned the soup. It's shit."
He still might not admit it, but you could see the way his eyes were still glossed over from the earth-shattering orgasm. He could even feel his cock jump from the way that he watched you bite your lip.
You pressed a finger onto his chin, thumb resting on his jaw. "It'll be okay, Carm." You squeezed his jaw. "You can make some more tomorrow. I’ll help."
Finally, he smiled. Yeah, tomorrow, he thought. His eyes still looked glossy, and his loopy smile was bright. "Let's clean up and go home.”
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carmyboobear · 3 months
Note
ok after that i now NEED to read carmy getting a bj heh
(in reference to this post)
I’ve been thinking really hard (lol) about this…spent some time thinking and researching and studying and here’s what I’ve got… 
…BUT I want to promote this part of @zorrasucia's carmy fic first. It so closely follows what I imagine his first bj is like too. This is the blueprint. Its so good please read it. 
It finally happens one day after Carmy finishes going down on you.
You look down between your legs just as you’re trying to catch your breath post-orgasm. Carmy’s staring up at you, cheek resting on your thigh. His mouth and chin are shiny, coated with you.
“Carmy,” you sigh like you’re in a dream. You run your fingers through his hair, combing through it. “You’re too good to me. Please, let me return the favor.”
“Y’wanna go for round 2 already?” He’s sitting up, clearly already hard. He always is when he eats you out. “Don’t get me wrong, I wanna be inside you—“
“No, no, not like that.” He’s confused, and it shows on his face, too. “I wanna suck you off.”
“…Oh.” Carmy’s cheeks are quickly coloring. “That’s, uh…”
“We don’t have to anything you don’t wanna do—“
“No, it’s not that at all,” he protests weakly. The tips of his ears are pink. “It’s just, ah… I’ve never done that before.”
“You’ve never had a blowjob?” You’re aghast. He just nods, embarrassed. You do suppose it makes sense, with you being the first person he’s had sex with. You don’t know why you’re still surprised. “With how hard you fuck me, I forget there’s still a lot you haven’t gotten to try,” you muse, pulling the hair tie off your wrist, and he laughs shakily. 
“I, I’m probably not gonna last long,” he warns. You believe it, not just because it’s his first time, but because how reddened and hard his cock is. The exposed tip is so flushed, beaded with so much pre-come that it almost looks like he’s already finished. All this from eating you out.
“That’s okay. There’s always next time, and the time after that, and then the time after that…” That gets another shaky laugh out of him. You lower your head, your breath ghosting across the tip. It twitches. “Ready?”
“Please,” he whispers, and then he corrects, “I mean, yes.”
You start with just kisses. When your lips first touch the tip of his cock, he inhales sharply. Keeps it held as you kiss down the rest of him, kissing along curves and veins until you reach the base.
“Relax, baby,” you tell him, and his exhale rushes out of him. 
“I’m trying,” he starts, “I’m just—“
You lick gently at the base of his cock, forming a wet ring, and Carmy lets out a strangled moan. 
“I wanna hear you,” you whisper. You lick upwards, slowly dragging the flat of your tongue on the underside of his shaft before running it over the head. 
“Fuck,” Carmy curses, snapping his head back. You’re not sure you’ve ever seen someone so sensitive, so reactive. It’s making you wet again. You lick at the swollen tip again and again, covering it in glossy spit, and you pull a couple more moans out from him that way.
“I like the way you taste,” you confess with filthy honesty. The tip of your tongue runs firmly along his slit, and he gasps. Every pass of your tongue brings out another noise from him. 
Maybe it’s mean of you since he’s clearly so sensitive, but you do it anyway. You open your mouth and carefully suck the head of his cock between your lips. 
“Oh my god,” Carmy whimpers, hips twitching forward like they’ve got a mind of their own. You’ve pulled him deeper into your mouth. His thick, warm length rests heavy on your tongue. It’s admittedly a little bit of a tight fit…
Inching further down onto his cock, you start gliding your slick tongue on the slippery underside. Carmy’s been reduced to a mixture of poorly restrained moans and whimpers. You’re not sure if you’ve ever heard him like this before. You bring your hand to the last half of his cock that’s not in your mouth, but as soon as you pump the spit-slicked base once, he’s coming down your throat.
He moans to high heaven as he comes, hips jaggedly thrusting towards the back of your throat. You breathe through your nose, resisting the urge to gag, but if anything, it just makes you wetter. You swallow on reflex, feeling the tip spurt come down your throat, and you think the constricting tightness of it makes the volume of Carmy’s moans spike. 
You keep him in your mouth until he softens, and when you finally drag yourself off him, his cock glistens with your spit. Above you, Carmy’s still trying to catch his breath. 
“You should fuck my mouth next time,” you say cheekily, and all Carmy does in response is groan.
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