This part in 32 chp always felt kind of odd to me and this is the reason why:

The coward wolf boy, Lock. Until Choi Han found him, Lock had been hiding as the chief had told him. The Lock at that point is very much a coward, a weakling, and kind of slow. In simple terms, Lock easily took the position of the character that readers found to be extremely frustrating.

This has bothered me since I first read the novel, and to this day, even after several rereads, it still haunts me.

Cale simply isn't the type of a person to actually call a kid, no matter how they behave, to be "frustrating".

(When the text said "readers" it's damn well obvious of Cale being the one to think so.)

Pondering for some time I can roughly guess why the wording was so unexpected for his character.

At the time of the assassination/kindaping in the village, Lock was only thirteen years old. He also hasn't had his first berserk transformation yet. Therefore it is not surprising that Lock's uncle hid him and told not to go out, saying that everything was fine and he should continue to hide.

Now let's look at the situation realistically.

Lock (in tcf) jumps out of his hiding to protect his younger siblings. The adrenaline and inner Blue Wolf Tribe's instincts to protect turned on his berserk transportation one year beforehand, however if not Rosalyn and Choi Han, who came earlier than in the actual novel, i don't think it would help much.

Lock would possibly be able to kill a few people or at least seriously injure them, but CMON. They killed an ENTIRE village full of berserk Blue Wolf's and with almost-Wolf King (Lock's uncle). Do you really believe that a thirteen years old boy jumping into his first berserk transformation would be able to fight properly against strong organization that had holy water or some sort of holy artefact on their hands?

Again, if not for Choi Han's and Rosalyn's arrival... it would have definitely ended pretty bad.

In TBOAH Lock for some reason didn't jump out. Different circumstances, wrong wroted part in the novel, idk, but the fact is stated: Lock stayed hidden. He also most likely survived only because of Choi Han's help. Just with much worse scenario where he was left alone from the whole village.

And it wasn't Lock's fault yet again. He was a child. No matter if a Beastman one or not, the boy was just an innocent, naive and weak child.

So why would Cale, Kim Rok Soo at the time, find him frustrating? Extremely so even!

The answer is much easier if you think about it.

Because it wasn't Kim Rok Soo blaming a kid for being weak and cowardly in a fearful situation, it was a man who saw his own past that he hated so much.

A coward, a weakling and kind of slow.

For Rok Soo, who blamed himself for half of his life for the deaths of team one members, Lock was like a salt for still open, but ignored wounds.

KRS greatly disliked and maybe even envied Lock for a bit. The boy got a new family, he got friends and some sort of guidance from them even after facing so much despair.

While he was all alone, trying to understand what to do on his own.

It sure is irritating for Rok Soo.

Yet Team Leader Kim Rok Soo was probably unable to fully hate Lock for his weakness, because while the latter was still a kid, the same forgiveness can't be used on him. At least in his own head.

So with conflicting feelings Cale settled on "Extremely frustrating" description.

Ladies if he isnt willing to spend 5 hours just painting your likeness he is not worth it break up with him

...That's how it's gonna go, and we all know it

Cale pondered how he should treat the governor since the man was like a duke in rank. He concluded that he’d just do what was convenient for him since this was the Central Plains.

Cale "I would be respectful but I literally do not give a fuck" Henituse

I just realized that our mf sacrificial  bastard mc Cale-I'm-trash-but-always-does-the-opposite-of-trash-Henituse and us readers have a very very weird type of relationship like we want to baby him and smother him with love as much as possible and spoil him with fluffy family fanarts or fics like him resting or going in an outing he's fine with the kids and other characters to the point our fanbase weather forcast will become Cloud9 with a chance of Cavities and Fluff but will always insult him for his denser than a fucking neutron star brain that turned off recognizing love related emotions and advances and be the next densest material of all dimensions but also an airhead most of the time like fucking hell they're showing you famial love and tryna take care of you you stupid fuck and our weather forcast is CloudWhy with a chance of You, So and Dense but will also vibrate in our chairs/beds/bathroom/sofa/basement/couches whenever he does something badass or looks badass and be awesome and cool and holy shit oh my god its here lets fucking go and our weather forcast is CloudLETSGO with a chance of HESSOCOOL and WHOOOO but will also dreadfully look forward to him coughing up blood and him fainting and even make fanarts and way over the angst fics and our weather forcast is CloudsofPain with a chance of AAAAAA and AAAAAAAA and Cale and us getting angst slapped and we readers will equally and gladly devour and savor muah chiefs kiss it like wtf yall good

The other day, at like 3 a.m., I woke up totally confused from a dream I was having about ogCale that suddenly turned into a DP crossover.

It wasn't that bad, but Why???

You know how sometimes authors like to give ogCale a different kind of power (like, something something Thames something something, or spirit stuff, and so) to add to his arsenal with any other skills, AP, ability, etc. Well, in my dream, the Spirit King turned out to be Danny.

I was so shocked that I woke up.

My brain is in mush

I think why Cale hates medals, its because he gets recorded for it. He has been recording everything for so long.

.

He doesn't actively hate records, he hate the implications of what the record will bring. Because something in him, hates remembering. He remembers Soo Hyuk and Jung Soo being nice, helpful, so bright but when it stops recording, when he can't record anything of them he thinks they're cruel, because the last record he has of them is them sacrificing their life for him.

.

He thinks if he gets recorded in history and dies out of the blue or something bad happens to him, when people actually see him for what he thinks he is - they'll think he isn't the person he truly is - that he is not the real Cale Henituse.

.

Think about it, only few people know that he's another soul in this body. Someday, somehow people will know and connect the dots. He is afraid of getting recorded, because he knows what records bring.

My YFM tierlist 😭 it took me like two hours

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do you ever set up your workspace and become some sort of brady bunch-adjacent hell

one day im going to make a post that is all about the petty wording differences in the fan translation of the novels verses the official translation of the manhwa for *checks notes* Trash/Lout of the Count's Family and what these translation choices mean

shit like Lock -> Lark, Maes -> Mess, Muller/Mueller -> Molar (???), fog -> mist, Cale-nim -> My Lord, all that minor but exceedingly annoying detail work that doesn't contribute to a better understanding of the source material. bc there are some errors in grammar and shit in fan translation, they do this for free asshole don't try it, but renaming everything you think you can get away with... but nOT EVEN USING THE CORRECT NAME, PRINCE ALBERT-

CALE AND THE BARDOWN BROS COLLAB THIS IS THE CROSSOVER I DIDNT KNOW I NEEDED 😭😭😭

"The term 'fandom police' is antiblack and if you use it you're racist"

Ah the means antis will go not to be called out for what they are (:

i have now come to terms that i might be better at writing slight angst than consuming it

...idk what does this mean for yall tho

☉

☉ what do you do when you get stuck writing?

the first thing i do is usually take a break! i'll either move onto a different wip or just take some time away from writing in general. it helps me reset a little and takes away some of the pressure around working on/completing wips. it also gives me time to really think about the fic and daydream and maybe come up with different ideas. often when I come back I'll get struck with inspiration again.

usually though, at least for me, if i really truly get 'stuck' it means that something is /off/ with the wip. it almost always results in me either having to change something around or (more often than not) delete entire scenes or moments. it can be tricky and sometimes annoying, especially if it's a significant chunk of writing, but a lot of the time it works and i find the writing comes much easier after that. :)

ask me fic questions (please! <3)

🚨🚨THIS MIGHT HURT YOUR EYES SORRY🚨🚨

i made a drawing of F but since it might be a eye hurt explode eyesore i put it under the cut

heres a less eye exploding one