#and Wei Wuxian is in the middle of torturing people to death and he's about to metaphorically eviscerate his kinda boyfriend | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

angstymdzsthoughts · 2 years

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I posted 706 times in 2021

670 posts created (95%)

36 posts reblogged (5%)

For every post I created, I reblogged 0.1 posts.

I added 1,577 tags in 2021

#mdzs - 393 posts

#reply - 298 posts

#wei wuxian - 292 posts

#lan wangji - 188 posts

#lack of reply - 103 posts

#jiang cheng - 82 posts

#lan xichen - 73 posts

#character death - 64 posts

#lan sizhui - 44 posts

#lan qiren - 40 posts

Longest Tag: 138 characters

#i was going to have wwx tell jyl and is shocked when jyl is like 'yeah i already knew he felt that way about you thanks for rubbing it in'

My Top Posts in 2021

WWX takes the Wen siblings place. He throws the shattered Seal JGS wanted at the bastard's feet and declares that he surrenders. But, denied the seal and the General he wanted, JGS cannot accept such a dignified win for WWX. He has to make a show of this to repay the destruction of the seal-"I mean, my son." They gather the clans, and humiliate WWX as part of his execution. Cut his hair, beat him, force a kowtow, try (fail) to break him. LWJ & JYL arrive too late. They are held, &can only watch

I need a fic of this. I also need the cultivation world to be divided on his punishment. Half are saying that Jin Guangshen has gone too far and that this is no longer about justice for his son and the other half say that Wei Wuxian deserves every humiliating torture that he is given.

I can picture Nie Mingjue being pissed about it. If you’re going to punish someone for a crime then do it! Wei Wuxian should have been given a trial by a non-biased sect, judged, and executed for his crime! None of this! This madness is just Jin Guangshen taking out his rage!

Lan Xichen agrees but is silent. He thinks siding with Nie Mingjue would mean turning his back on Jin Guangyao who can do nothing to stop his father. He avoids the entire issue and does his best to keep Lan Wangji from storming in and rescuing Wei Wuxian.

Jiang Cheng is beside himself and torn too many ways. His sect is still not strong enough to oppose the Jin and they have his sister and nephew. If Jiang Cheng tries to stop this then Jiang Yanli and Jin Ling could suffer for it.

Jiang Yanli is a prisoner in her home. She isn’t allowed near Wei Wuxian, her mother in law never leaves her side, and she is told nothing about what is happening to her brother but she still hears whispers. People talk about the horrible public punishments that her A-Xian is being put through and they ask each other when sect leader Jin will finally be satisfied and just put him out of his misery. She can do nothing to help him.

Wei Wuxian... endures. He tells them nothing about where the Wens have ran off to and refuses to tell them anything about demonic cultivation or how to recreate the seal. He does not weep and he does not beg for mercy they won’t give and most importantly he does not break. He refuses to give Jin Guangshen anything he wants because the more time he spends focusing on breaking Wei Wuxian is more time for the Wens to run as far as they can.

390 notes • Posted 2021-05-03 14:00:42 GMT

WWX and LWJ reconnect after several years apart. Thy go on a date and spend the night together only for WWX to wake up alone. He tries to contact LWJ, because he'd never just leave, right? He finally reaches LXC, and asks how LWJ is doing. LXC looks heartbroken; LWJ died three years ago.

These are the times when the ability to interreact with ghosts bites you in the ass :)

397 notes • Posted 2021-01-26 15:01:02 GMT

Not exactly angsty but you know that scene where WWX takes a drink for LWJ when Jin Zixun tries to force it? Well, it turns out that Jin Zixun slipped some form of Rohypnol (or the xianxia equivalent) in that drink and while it was only supposed to affect cultivators at a slow rate, since WWX didn’t have a core, he faints almost immediately.

Wei Wuxian throws back the wine in one go. He gives the angry Jin Zixun a smug smile and is in the middle of a snappy comeback when his voice turns slow and slurry. His smile drops and Wei Wuxian stumbles back a step before righting himself. Lan Wangji can only watch while Wei Wuxian's eyes roll back before he goes boneless. He catches Wei Wuxian just before his head hits the floor.

The party quickly descends into madness. People are yelling and throwing accusations of attempted murder at the Jin who are trying to deflect. Jiang Cheng summons Zidian and looks ready to kill. Lan Wangji ignores all of it.

His hand is on Wei Wuxian's wrist checking his pulse and searching for even a wisp of spiritual energy. There is none.

399 notes • Posted 2021-04-17 14:01:27 GMT

corporate spy!au what if wwx doesn't die, but jgy takes him as a hostage and threatens to kill him if they don't let him go. (i couldn't handle the major character death)

Detectives go to search Jin Guangyao's house in search of more incriminating evidence. Not the home he shared with his husband Lan Xichen but a remote cabin that had been left to him by his father. They find enough to put Jin Guangyao away for life, but the biggest find was a man left to die inside a locked room resembling a dungeon.

434 notes • Posted 2021-01-20 12:22:50 GMT

Fem!WWX au, where JFM gets her engaged to JC as an excuse to attach her to LP while she comes of age. YZY is desperate to get her out of LP not because she hates her, but because she sees the way that her husband looks at the 15yo WWX with lust, who would’ve thought that her husband was like that pig JGS? When WWX goes to gusu and starts liking LWJ, she grabs the chance to marry her before the lectures even finish, and if JFM dies some time after the wedding nobody will suspect it was his wife.

"You know your mother and I met when she was just a few years older then you are now," Jiang Fengmian said with a smile. From a distance someone would think the way he pats Wei Wuxian's head was parental affection, but Wei Wuxian is close enough to see the intensity in his eyes, the way his hand lingered, how his fingers dug into her hair enough to pull. She is careful not to flinch. She doesn't want him to know she's uncomfortable, doesn't want him to think he should move whatever plans he has for her up before she becomes frightened and runs.

"I swear, you look more and more like her every year," he says, not for the first time. Wei Wuxian is fifteen. Jiang Fengmian met her mother when she was nineteen. Wei Wuxian has four years. Probably less.

Yu Ziyuan watches from a distance and she burns with disgust (Not jealousy. Never jealousy for a literal child who should never receive such looks from a man who raised her). She sees the look in her husband's eyes when he looks at his young ward- the fever of obsession, the intensity of his desire growing every passing day. She has four years to find a match for Wei Wuxian. The further away from Lotus Pier the better.

It's not as easy as throwing Wei Wuxian at the second son of a minor sect. The match has to be so much better then her current one that it won't be an insult to Jiang Cheng and their clan. It has to be someone who would be willing to fight for her despite her arranged engagement. The Lan clan have a history of being romantics.

She insists that Wei Wuxian go to the Lan Sects lectures with Jiang Cheng. She argues that it is her duty as head deciple. She demands to know why her husband doesn't want Wei Wuxian to go and he backs down and bends to her will.

The night before they leave she visits Wei Wuxian's room. "You will do everything in your power to find a husband among the Lan clan," Yu Ziyuan orders her. "The higher in status, the better. Do you understand, girl?" Wei Wuxian, for all the love she has for her home and her family, knows she will never be completely safe in Lotus Pier. She agrees. Yu Ziyuan gives her an approving look. "It would be best," she continues in a tone that isn't as harsh as normal. "if we have a reason to rush the marriage."

Three months later they receive an urgent letter from Lan Qiren demanding they come to the Cloud Recesses. Yu Ziyuan hides how pleased she is when he tells them that Wei Wuxian had been caught in his younger nephews bed with evidence of debauchery on her thighs. Jiang Fengmian is near apoplectic with rage and needs to leave the room for some air. Once her husband steps out Yu Ziyuan pushes for marriage. After all, the Second Jade of Lan has so clearly ruined their head deciple for marriage to anyone else. Lan Qiren is visibly pained when he agrees.

Later, Yu Ziyuan goes to where Wei Wuxian has been kneeling all day as a part of her punishment. She had no doubt that both she and Lan Wangji had recieved brutal beatings after being discovered and would likely be put in seclusion for months. Perhaps just until they find out if Wei Wuxian is pregnant or maybe until the day of their wedding. She leans in and whispers "You did well." It is without a doubt the highest praise she has ever given the girl.

Wei Wuxian's smile is a small, tired thing. She has tarnished both her and Lan Wangji's reputations with this. She doubts the Lans will ever forgive her for ruining their younger jade. Lan Wangji may hold resentment against her for the rest of their lives for seducing him. But she will be able to sleep at night without jumping at every sound and setting up dozens of traps and locking barriers in her room in fear of her uncle trying to visit her. It will be worth it.

603 notes • Posted 2021-10-05 15:01:42 GMT

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#my 2021 tumblr year in review #your tumblr year in review

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dew-in-the-morning · 3 years

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If you’re taking prompts:

WWX doesn’t go to Dafan mountain, maybe he sees the Yunmeng delegation and doesn’t want to be accidentally recognized. He just wanders the world, taking cases as a rogue cultivator , eventually gaining some recognition. He only meets LWJ after several years, maybe after the events of the novel, which might go differently, or maybe the case is never fully solved.

There are several fics about LWJ not recognizing WWX at Dafan mountain, but then he always recognizes him a short time later. I want to see a fic about what WWX was planning to do before Dafan mountain, and how would that affect his relationship with LWJ once he recognizes him. Thanks!

My first prompt🎉🎉 Hope you'll like how I do it.

Wei Wuxian leaves shortly after arriving at the bottom of the mountain, after hearing some cultivators of a smaller sect talking about Jiang Cheng taking the whole hunting ground.

He has heard rumours about how his former shidi had been kidnapping and torturing demonic cultivators for 13 years and even without that knowledge he would still refuse to have anything to do with the man that lead a siege on his family. So he leaves the mountain and the town and instead wanders.

--------------------------

When he arrives in Yiling the sun is setting. This town that was his first home and then his last, the place that gave him and his precious family refuge.

When he stands in front of the Burial Mounds he could almost sense the mountain feelings, how they felt him and how happy they were to have their little human back and Wei Wuxian couldn't help but laugh. A laugh that disappeared when he saw the destroyed remains of their little settlement. Built with their own hand, using every precious resource to make a home out of a mountain made of corpses a home which was destroyed by the greediness and hate of the cultivation world.

So he starts searching for any remains of his precious family without finding anything until the mountain itself showed him to the Blood Pool.

They had been thrown in the Blood Pool by the same people who accused him of being an heretic and evil for using resentful energy. Those cowardly sects had decided that the Wens didn't deserve to reincarnate.

And so he weeps over the bodies of the only people who loved and accepted him.

-----------------------------

Wei Wuxian doesn't grieve for long knowing that the Wens would never forgive him for wasting his second life so he starts finishing tasks he couldn't finish in his first life. He decides to finish purifying the Burial Mounds from the resentful energy still seeping in it while selling his talismans down in town to make enough money to survive and then leave Yiling after he finishes his task.

And it shocks him to see Wen Ning, who he thought had been destroyed, appear in front of him. To discover that he had been imprisoned and experimented on. But he can't stop the relief to see the last member of his family still standing in front of him, to know that neither of them is alone.

So they leave after purifying the Burial Mounds, travelling to towns where there is no sect to help the people in exchange of a meal and a roof over their heads. They gain a reputation in those abandoned territories as a pair of brothers who help anyone without asking for anything, and people ask him for their help and buy his talismans.

And like that 3 years pass, Wen Ning and Wei Wuxian travelling from town to town while keeping themselves out of the cultivation world.

They hear the rumours about how Hanguang-jun exposed Jin Guangyao for being behind both behind Jin Zixuan's and Nie Mingjue's death. About how he planned his father's death after following his orders for years and causing the death of hundred of innocents. He hears about how his reputation was cleaned by Nie Huaisang and Lan Wangji, but Wei Wuxian doesn't care. He likes the new life he made for himself with Wen Ning, travelling around helping people without caring about the politics of the cultivation world, receiving smiles and words of gratitude instead of fear and hatred.

And so he ignores the warmth in his chest every time he hears somebody talk about Hanguang-jun, the happiness that blooms inside of his chest every time he hears about how Lan Zhan defended him and worked hard to restore his reputation. Ignores those feelings that he has been hiding for years in his heart, feelings to which he still can't give a name, and lives his life as Mo-daozang.

Travelling around a nighthunting, helping those in needs even with matter that have nothing to do with cultivation and experiencing everything he couldn't at the end of his first life. Humming a beloved melody he always held in his heart.

So he didn't expect for Lan Wangji to appear and hold his wrist while playing his flute in the middle of the forest where he and Wen Ning took camp. The look of bewilderment in Lan Wangji's eyes was reflected in his.

"Wei Ying" he heard Lan wangji call him and he couldn't help but call him back :"Lan Zhan".

Hope you liked it. I think that they would still meet and having had the time to sort his feelings and come to term with everything that happened in his past WWX would find it easier to understand Lan Wangji. I left the ending open on purpose so you can imagine whatever you want.

#mdzs #prompt #anti jc #canon divergence at dafan mountain #rogue cultivator WWX

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demonictales · 3 years

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May I ask for oneshot where reader sacrifices their golden core to Jiang cheng instead of Wei ying?

ioh my god. i love this idea. i hope you like what i’ve written. let me know if you enjoyed it! ♥ it turned out to be a bit long, im sorry. nearly 3k words tho.

Jiang Cheng x Reader

TW: burn wound, strong pain

When the Yunmeng Jiang Clan was attacked and taken over by the Wen Clan, Wei Wuxian, Jiang Yanli, and their brother Jiang Cheng were on the run. Wen Chao had made no secret of it that all three had fleed and had to be found immediately.

The whole cultivation world has been in chaos since the Qishan Wen Clan roamed the streets, destroying any clan that was even remotely against them without blinking an eyelid. The consequences for anyone who tried to defend themselves against the Wen Clan were fatal. Unfortunately, this has also affected the Jiang Clan and the now three siblings on the run.

Like so many in the Wen Clan, you couldn't help but move along with them. You were born into the medical family in the clan and often helped your cousin Wen Qing and spent time with Wen Ning. He was only two years younger than you. All three of you weren’t particularly fond of how Wen Chao did deal with the whole situation but you had no other chance but to obey the orders, mostly because just like Wen Qing, you helped her protect Wen Ning who to you was just like a brother as well.

It had been a rather quiet week for the three of you when suddenly the doors opened and three people stood in the middle of Wen Qing’s property. You had just created a few remedies when none other than Wei Wuxian, followed by his sister and Jiang Cheng, who appeared badly injured, appeared loudly and threatening.

Wen Qing seemed to be in control when you took care of Yanli. It seemed like she was a little weak so you gave her some medicine to strengthen her immune system and told her to take a rest for the day being. If she needed something, she could rely on you and ask for your help. You ended up talking to her and found out that both of you had quite a lot in common, turns out just like her, you weren’t so much into cultivation either, in fact your cultivation was low and you barely followed your interest in it. You were more of a reserved person, calm as most would describe you, introverted and quiet. You worked behind the scenes and were quietly aknowledged for your wisdom regarding poison and antidotes.

Leaving to prepare more medicine and helping Wen Ning cook, you learned that Wen Zuhliu has taken Jiang Chengs golden core which made you drop your current pot of boiling water burning yourself in the process. Wen Ning gently and quietly took care of your hand as you joined Qing for dinner. Talking about the passed day and what happened.

You were discussing the biggest issue at hand while Ning was quietly listening, slurping his soup. “ Is there a solution to Young Master Jiang’s issue? Is there a way to restore his golden core? ” You asked your cousin wondering if something like this was possible. The hope you had was taken from you when your cousin explained that it wasn’t possible but young master Wei would not stop searching for a cure.

The next morning was your usual daily routine. You woke up, read through some books, prepared some medicine for Yanli and worked on more antidotes and poisons, liquid, powder and pills, even some scented sachets to help you walk through poisoned fog without losing your mind completely until noon hit. You were instructed to bring some soup for Jiang Cheng. Holding the dark tray with some freshly cooked notorious soup in your hands you over heard the conversation of the two brothers inside the room. Not keen on eavsdropping you waited and listened anyway.

“Did you feel it? ---- “ A deep voice filled with sadness spoke quietly, as if he knew all hope was lost. “Feel what?“ Another asked curiously as he waited for an answer. “Well, I used all my spiritual power...“ Silence, followed by holding your breath before he continued as you listened quietly behind the door. “..in that palm. So, did you feel it? ---- “ He repeated his question. Listening, knowing he had lost his golden core made you uncomfortable. You could care less about your own golden core and spiritual power as you did not particularly need it for what you were studying but in his voice alone you could hear the silence of defeat. There was no more will in his tone.

“ Well, do it again. Hit me again. “ Wei Wuxian spoke, trying to reassure his brother, but he only refused. “ No need. It’s the same, no matter how many times I hit you. --- Wei Wuxian, do you know how Core Melting Hand gets his title? “ Cheng continued, voice steady but without any melody. “Because he can use his hands to crush another person’s golden core. ---- Whoever is hit by him can never form his core and will become an ordinary man after losing your spiritual power. “ Their conversation went on but your thoughts kept spinning. You only ever heard highly of this young masters reputation. He was arrogant and overconfident and exceptionally handsome, however, as to what you heard he seemed broken, not ready to be an ordinary man, as if it was the death sentence. It probably was the worst for any great cultivator to become ordinary, to become just a human being.

As you listened he got louder, talking about how Wen Zuhliu had taken their parents live and you immediately felt bad for the actions of the Wen Clan. You knew the situation was bad, but hearing things from the ones you helped while being a Wen yourself made you realize how much you truly did dislike being part of the cultivation world. With a quiet sigh you walked in, speaking up calmly, pretending you did not hear a word of what had been spoken you put the soup down on the table. “Hello young Master Wei. Young Master Jiang. --- Wen Qing instructed me to bring some soup for young master. ” You explained simply, bowed and left quickly.

The conversation you had been part of, if so secretly, had bothered you for the rest of the day until late night where eventually you got up and went to the study, looking and reading through the books, trying to figure out how to restore ones golden core after losing it. You could do only so much as to let out a frustrated sigh, rubbing your tired eyes. A sense of deep fault started to brew in your chest, being regretful as to what your clan had done wrong. This would hunt you for generations, if there would be anyone left.

You soon found out that Wei Wuxian had the same thoughts as you. By any means you did not know any of the Jiang Clan family members, but after a long talk with Master Wei, you could eventually persuade him to let you help him find a solution to the problem until Qing, you and Wuxian were arguing as to why it was not possible to transfer one golden core to another person. The chances were low, one must have luck on their side for it to work but at some point the desicion had been made, nevertheless, it had taken lots of time for Wen Qing to be coaxed into this plan. You were fast to offer your core for the transplant and an explanation was barely needed, you only spoke a few words that night.

“ I barely cultivate. My core might not be the strongest but it is not the weakest either. I do not care for cultivation, I do not need to to study medicine, to make pills and antidotes for the poison I creat. ---- Besides, my family has created enough damage. Master Wei, I shall give Young Master Jiang my golden core. ---- “

The plan was easy. He had to follow a path up the hill where he would meet his brother’s mother Master who could restore his golden core by pretending to be Wei Wuxian, the pupils son. What you had not calculated was the never ending pain you went through for the next few days. The burning fire that went from your core all the way through your veins, on the edge of fainting every possible second, but that would mean, the moment you lost control of that, of your conciousness, was a lost core for another. You hanged in there with all your might to the point where you cried out of pain, a sound you never thought you could make would rip through the room. Your own sweat burning your eyes as you fought yourself, your vision soon had gone blurry from the dizziness in your head, the stinging pain in your head making you nauseous. It felt like as if you were torn apart from the inside, the pain was to another extend, something you could not explain in words, something no one could ever feel no matter how they would be tortured. You only had to withstand one more night and it was over and you could rest. Just one more night and the transfer of the golden core would be succsessful and you could lead a normal ordinary live.

TIME SKIP - THE TRUTH

You have lived an ordinary live in Yunmeng, quietly and in hiding after you clan had been more or less extinguished. It was odd for one Wen family member to live among the Jiang Clan in secret but you did the best you could to hide your identidy until Wei Wuxians return, who to your surprise brought along Wen Ning. You only observed from a distance but you could not be happier to see your cousin still alive and walking next to Young Master Wei.

It was only when you met Wen Qing in secret that Master Wei had found out and brought you into Lotus Pier which did cause you great trouble the moment you encountered Jiang Cheng, who to this day, still had not manage to control his temper. No Wen Clan member as expected to be alive and now to be faced with another one who was responsible for his family’s death had awoken something in him. Anger, rage, the fact that there was still a Wen walking in Lotus Peer alive and breathing. Not something one would expect after 16 years.

You had no right to be here and you knew that, if it was only for Wei Wuxian that you had stepped into this territory, only for Wen Ning who seemed to be still the same, even after so many years, even if he was at the same time different. He was still family and if you did meet your death today, so it be.

There he stood, the Zidian in his hands gave of an energy that you could feel. The atmosphere was threathening. You had long stopped carrying your sword, no longer in need for it but of course Jiang Cheng insisted on it. “ Do you expect me to fight you without your sword? -- First you dare to step into Lotus Peer and now you even disrespect the general rules of cultivation. ” He spoke arrogantly, though his voice was underlying with rage. One could tell he was furious. “ I’m not here to fight, Clan Leader Jiang. --- I simply wanted to meet Wen Ning, it has been so long. ” You admitted quietly, reserved as always. “ I do not wish to cause more trouble. As for my sword, I have long stopped carrying it as I do not need it.” You explained quietly and with a steady voice as you bowed and turned to leave, just in that moment you felt the heat of a burning sting against your back, sending you flying to the ground in pain. Just before the second it hit you again, you could see someone blocking the hit for you, the rustling of chains being heard. The hit of the zidian was clearly something you did underestimate, especially now that you were weaker than before.

The only thing you could make out was that somebody picked you up as you heard a voice fainted in the background. Wei Wuxian has come to your side as Wen Ning explained the situation to him. It was a world known fact that nobody but yourself could draw their sword. It was in connection with your core, and once it died, it would seal itself forever.

“ Because the sword considers you as Wen Y/N. ---- ” Ning spoke, his features blank as he continued to explain the situation to Cheng. “What does that mean?” The clan leader furiously enquired, panic in his tone. “How can it consider me as her? ---- Why me? ”

“Because the golden core, functioning in your system is hers. “ Finally the truth had come to live. Something that had been hidden for more than 16 years. The endless nights of searching up methods of how to make it less painful, how to make it quick and most importantly if it could work at all where finally revealed.

Wen Ning kept on explaining everything to Jiang Cheng, whereas Wei Wuxian still held you in his arms checking to see if you were still breathing from the inpact of the Zidian you had suffered. Wen Ning could explain everything in detail to him, from the day he went up the hill, met that woman who was Wen Qing pretending, to how exactly they had transfered your golden core to him.

Jiang Cheng was in disbelief. He did not want to believe a single word from that came from Ning’s mouth. How could a Wen possibly this selfless and give up their own golden core. He tried to understand but now matter how he tried to process this, it did not make any sense to him. He was in utter disbelief, at a loss for words.

Again, he spoke. “You are talking nonsense. ---- ”

“I’m not. -- “ Ning countered.

“Shut up!“ He did not want to hear it. None of it. “ My golden core...My golden core...”

“It was repaired by Baoshan Sanren. ---“ The ghost general continued.

“ How do you know that? Wei Wuxian, --- What did you tell them? “

“ No! - Master Wei never told anyone about it. -- I saw it with my own eyes. “

“Liar! -- You were there? How could that be possible? “ Wanyin yelled at Ning. “ I was the only one that went up that mountain. There was no way that you followed me. “

Wen Ning kept on telling the whole story yet Jian Cheng still did not dare to believe a single word. It wasn*t possible. They must be lying, it was the only reasonable explanation to what was going on. Was he going insane? Why were they lying?

“ How did you know about it? -- “

“ I told you. -- I was there. Not just me. But also Master Wei, my sister and my cousin was there as well. “

This went on for minutes, minutes that did feel like hours explaining why a stone could not float in the water.

“That is not true. You are lying. --- Then why was my golden core repaired?“

“It was never repaired! “ Wen Ning yelled loudly.

“ No, no, no. NO!“

“Clan Leader Jiang. You should have seen it coming. The reason why you thought your core was repaired was my sister Wen Qing, the best doctor of the Wen Clan of Qishan and the sacrifice of my cousins golden core, Wen Y/N. “

At this point, he had no words left, his vision had become blury. He did feel regret towards you. You gave him shelter, you gave him medicine and did treat him with respect, yet your name was tainted with blood shed of his family for all eternity which he simply could not forget. Will never forget, refused to forget.

“She removed Lady Y/N golden core and transplanted it into you. -- Even if she was supposed to fight you today, her spiritual power is weak. If she did draw the sword, she could not last very long. --- She is a Wen, of the Wen Clan. My cousin. ---- We are hated by the whole world. Where could she possibly go. If people had found out earlier that she was still alive, she would have been gone long enough. She had suffered for three nights and two days straight. She did have to be awake throughout the whole procedure. ---- It was painful. “

Jiang Cheng was shedding tears for someone he barely knew or maybe because he could not believe the act of kindness this was.

“She gave up her core because she did not need it. She did not mind being ordinary but the most important thing was, she felt guilty for all the things Wen Chao had done to your family, to all the families that were slaughtered because of our clan. --- She sacrificed herself as a reimbursement to the loss that had been inflicted to you. Y/N had heard your conversation of how you could not stand being an ordinary man. ----- “

The scene fell quiet, as you were carried away bei Wuxian, closely followed by Wen Ning. Devastation was written all over his face, he became numb, the words echoing in his head, the memories of back then flashing before his eyes. He wondered how much she must’ve suffered? The pain she had to endure during those days.

However, how was he able to accept the fact that a Wen had given their golden core to him? The family, the clan he did despise the most.

#mdzs x reader #jiang cheng x reader #cdrama x reader #mdzs reader insert #the untamed x reader #jiang cheng #the untamed #cql x reader #cql #Anonymous

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immacaria · 2 years

Text

Revenge - 12 Days of Mingcheng

Hello! So this is day 3 of @vassar177‘s 12 days of Mingcheng and the prompt from today is Revenge and I hope you enjoy it! As always, stay safe and healthy!

__________________________________________________________

There were many things in life that Jiang Cheng didn't understand. For example, he didn't understand what was going on in his brother's head when he fell in love with Lan Wangji, he didn't understand why Wangji fell in love with him right back and he didn't understand why would ever target Nie Mingjue of all people. There were so many other people to be kidnapped and yet, they chose to kidnap Nie Mingjue and put a target on their backs like the idiots they were.

So, as Nie Huaisang entered the hospital with his brother, Jiang Cheng swore that whoever made this to his husband was going to suffer so much that death would be more appealing than life when he was finished with them. He took a deep breath and turned around, knowing that his men were going to protect both his husband and his brother-in-law from anyone that tried to harm them, because he needed a plan and he wasn't going to get one standing in the middle of the hospital. His brother, Wei Wuxian, was waiting for him at the entrance of the building and drove them to their older sister's house.

Their sister, Jiang Yanli, was the most dangerous person that had ever stepped on Earth, their mother included, and though she was retired, nobody dared to come at her and those she loved for fear of retaliation. Not only from her side, but from his clan and their brother's clan too. Everybody knew that messing with them ment trouble and, usually, death too.

That being, he wasn't surprised to find not only Yanli, but her husband too already waiting for them with fire in their eyes. Though their marriage had been arranged, they were the only relationship that he actually looked up to. With a kiss on her cheek and a shake of hand with him, they focused on business.

"Do we know who did this?" Wei Wuxian asked once while they were sitting in Jin Zixuan's office.

"The Wen Clan." Jin Zixuan said and Jiang Cheng ignored the snarky laugh that left his brother's lip. Their brother-in-law, though his face suggested otherwise, was no idiot and he could be as terrifying as his brother, Jin Guangyao, if he so wished. "They wanted to destabilize the Nie clan and given that you and Nie-zongzhu aren't married yet, they may have thought that the Jiang wasn't going to intervene."

"Fools." Jiang Cheng said, biting his back teeth with enough force to make them hurt. "Who, specifically, did this, Zixuan?" His voice was deep with anger and hatred for the person that had done all they did with his husband. Though they were not married yet, it was no secret that their clans protected each other more fiercely than with their own people. "Answer me, Zixuan." He growled when the man did nothing, but looked from him to his sister. Temperance and patience were not things he needed right now.

"Wen Chao." He said after a long sigh. "He ordered the kidnapping and, according to my informations, he was the main person to torture Nie-zongzhu."

"I'll never not be amazed by how you discover those things." Wei Wuxian said, blinking at him before smirking at the blush that spread on his cheeks. Jiang Cheng understood, he really did, because their brother-in-law had nothing to do with his father's illegal business, he had long stepped out of that position in favor of taking care of his family, and still knew more about the underground world than many of them. Still, right now, he needed the information and not Wei Wuxian's amazement about them.

"What else?" He took in a deep breath, hands clenching and unclenching over his thighs. "I need a plan and, if it was that fucker called Wen Chao that put Mingjue on that hospital bed, I want his bones crushing beneath my feet as quickly as possible."

" We need a plan, A-Cheng, we." Jiang Yanli said, stepping away from her husband's chair and kneeling in front of him. "But, first, we need to calm down, all of us, and focus on how to get our revenge without harming innocents and protect those who were already hurt." He knew that she was right, she was always right, but it hadn't been her to find Nie Mingjue hanging from that ceiling, beaten and bleeding as if he was nothing more than meat ready to be cut. It hadn't been Zixuan or Wuxian, though he was there with him, it had been him and that image wasn't going to leave his nightmares for long years.

"Jie..." He stared at her, trying to hold the anger burning inside him and not break down right there and then. "I want him broken, Jie. Broken to a point that not even the gods will recognize his soul when I'm finished with him."

"And we are going to give that to you, but first we need to calm down and think on our next steps. Do you understand that, didi?" She said, caressing his knees and staring deep in his eyes. He could see all the anger swirling under the surface, the desire to hurt those that had hurt Mingjue - and those, him - that way burning as brightly as it was on him too. It was that and the fact that both Zixuan and Wuxian shared the same desire that made him take a deep breath and unclench his fists. She was right, he needed to calm down.

After Nie Mingjue had disappeared, Nie Huaisang called him to ask if they were together as there were times that they would ditch their bodyguards to spend some time together. But that day both his nephews were spending time with him and, for more that he loved Mingjue, he would never ignore them for him. The call had scared him because his husband would never worry his younger brother like that.

By the time they found him, the fuckers that kidnapped him were already gone and had left him to bleed to death in a room of an abandoned building. Thinking now, it made sense why there was so little guards to guard Mingjue, if it was really Wen Chao that did it, then the idiot must have thought that nobody was going serarching for him and that he had time to keep torturing until he was dead. Jiang Cheng had been so afraid when he entered the room and saw him hanging from the ceiling, unresponsive to everything and covered in blood and bruises. Gods, there had been so much blood and he looked so small after they finally brought him down that, for a moment, he feared that he was going to break if they added too much pressure.

He was vaguely aware of a glass of water being pressed against his hands and how violently they were shaking, too lost in the memories from earlier. Nie Mingjue was no small man, but seeing him on that stretcher, looking so pale and fragile, had made his insides burn and maybe it hadn't been only anger that was eating him from the inside out. Of course it hadn't been only anger, it never was only anger, didn't he know that already? Didn't Mingjue tell him that already?

Still, he wanted revenge, he wanted to be able to sleep that night knowing that nobody else would ever again dare to touch those he loved. But Jie was right and he couldn't just go shooting left and right until everyone was dead and risk harming those that had nothing to do with the issue, as if the consequences didn't matter. There were so many things at risk, so many things that could go wrong and the only thing that Jiang Cheng wanted to do was return all the pain that Wen Chao caused.

At some point of the night, between imagining hurting Wen Chao in multiple ways and planning what they actually could do, his phone lit up with Nie Huaisang's photo and he ignored the way that his heart skipped a beat over the possibility of bad news. When they arrived at the hospital, the doctors had taken Nie Mingjue to the operating room immediately and he had no idea how long it would take for him to be okay again. That was the reason he answered so quickly when his phone lit up.

"How is he?" Jiang Cheng said the moment the line connected.

" He is fine, Jiang-xiong. The cirurgy just ended and they transferred him to a room. You can come visit him if you want to. "Nie Huaisang said and he sounded so tired. " Please, Jiang-xiong, come see him. I need to talk to you too."

"I'm already on my way. Don't worry." He said, getting up and reaching for his coat on the back of his seat. "Don't leave his side, please."

" Didn't even think about it." With that they hung up and Jiang Cheng turned to look at the others.

"Mingjue got out of the operation room. They transferred him to a room and Huaisang said that I could go there to see him." He took a deep breath, pocketing his phone and looking at each one of them. "Thank you for everything."

"Wait, A-Cheng, I will go with you." Wei Wuxian got up, too, reaching out for his coat.

"I don't think you can enter, Wei Wuxian." He stopped, looking as both Jiang Yanli and Jin Zixuan too stood.

"For as much as I care for Nie-zongzhu, I'm not going for him. I'm going there to support you." He said, stepping forward and opening his arms.

"We all are, A-Cheng." Jiang Yanli said, hugging him along Wei Wuxian in a tight grip. They all headed to the hospital and, if he was being honest, he was happy that they went with him because when he finally saw the state Nie Mingjue was in, he doubted that he would be able to go home in one piece.

Nie Mingjue was laid down in the hospital bed with a tube down his throat and mostly covered in white bandages, but it was the parts without the covering that truly scared him. There were purple bruises everywhere that he looked and the anger was coming back full force now. Carefully, he reached out for the hand without the IV and stroked it gently, looking at his face and taking deep breaths.

"You came." Nie Huaisang said, opening the room's door with a cup and his usual fan in one hand. His hair was up in a messy bun, his bangs all messed up from all the times they probably were pushed back in his anxiety and his robes were in disarray. "Have you even eaten anything, Jiang-xiong?"

"I'm not hungry, Huaisang." Jiang Cheng sighed, not daring to look away from Mingjue's face for a single moment, afraid that he might break if he did so.

"Funny that you seem to think that I care." He flicked his ear with his fan, dropping a box of dumplings on his lap. "I will eat with you, ok?" Pulling the other chair in the room, he sat by his side and opened the box. "Just one, alright? For Da-ge."

"What did you want to tell me, Huaisang?" He sighed, though he did grab a dumpling.

"After we eat." After that he didn't talk anymore and Jiang Cheng had to satisfy himself with the food he was given instead of the answers he wanted. "Do you know who did this?" Nie Huaisang said after they finished each one dumpling.

"Wen Chao." He said, fidgeting with the transparent wrapper.

"I was afraid you would say that." He said, looking at his own hands. "We have a deal."

"You and Wen Chao?" He said, eyes aflame and disbelief written all over his face. Nie Huaisang and Wen Chao? He couldn't believe it, he despised him as much as he and Wei Wuxian did. It made no sense!

"What? No. Hell, no! The Wens and the Nies as whole." He turned to him, eyebrows furrowed. "We made a deal, some months ago, but it's not revealed yet. So I can't tell the exact details."

"Does that mean that I can't go after Wen Chao?" His mouth was close with so much force that the grinding of his teeth could be heard.

"That means that I know why he did what he did and that the deal doesn't protect him by any means." The empty look that he had been carrying for all the time they had been eating was now replaced by a hateful and vindictive one. "He wanted to impress his father and once only Wen Ruohan and his oldest son knew about the deal, the grasshopper brain probably didn't know that harming anyone under the protection of the Nies would cause immediate break of the agreement, which means that the person affect by it can and should nominate someone to avenge them in the same measure and manner."

"What are you trying to say, Huaisang?" He sighed, putting his head between his hands. Hell, that night was going to be long, so, so, long.

"Da-ge is in no condition to nomeate someone to 'return the favor' Wen Chao did, so, as his little brother, I'm telling, Jiang Cheng and my future brother-in-law, the Wens will not touch you or anybody that helps you if you were to avenge my brother's torture." Nie Huaisang took a deep breath, biting another dumpling and not looking at him. "In the same measure and manner, obviously."

"I see. Thank you for your input." Jiang Cheng nodded, face impassive as he reclined back on his chair, the anger that had been sitting on the end of his stomach fully awakened now.

"Thank me by eating another dumpling." He nudged another one near him and this time he took it without much fight, if much he ate it with renewed force, already thinking of what he would do once he had his hands around Wen Chao's neck. Once he was finished with it, he stood up and held Nie Mingjue's hand once more, bending down to carefully kiss his forehead.

"Stay strong, my soul, I'll back in no time." Jiang Cheng whispered against it, taking a deep breath before turning around. "Thank you for everything, A-Sang. And, don't worry, my men will be working with yours to protect both you and Mingjue." Huaisang nodded, smiling at him in a way that he knew was grateful before urging him away, telling him that he had important businesses to deal with out of the hospital.

"And, remember, Jiang-xiong, I don't know anything." He winked before closing the door.

Jiang Cheng smiled at that, before straightening his coat and shaking his shoulders. Nie Huaisang may say that he doesn't know many things and maybe it was true, but there was one thing that he had said that was totally right. He had business out of the hospital and that business involved one Wen Chao and karma being a bitch.

#12domc21 #mingcheng #hurt/comfort #jiang cheng #nie mingjue #nie huaisang #wei wuxian #jiang yanli #jin zixuan #mafia au #modern au #my fic #my writing #mdzs

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nyerus · 3 years

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Hi, nyerus.....If you don't mind me asking, who are your favorite MXTX characters (top 5 from each novel)? And why? I'm sorry if you've answered this question before.

Thank you so much for asking! I would love to! (Apologies for the delay, and also for how long this is lol....)

TGCF

1.) Xie Lian: I could write forever about why I love him, but XL is just a really great character who subverted my expectations. He's gentle and compassionate, but also funny and snarky on the inside. His character arc is the classic hero's journey but told out of order. So we meet him when he's already wise and world-weary, then get to see what he was like before, and how he finishes his journey later on. He's extremely inspiring, to show that our choices and our actions are what make us, and ultimately no one can take those from us.

2.) Hua Cheng: This is no surprise! I also just adore HC for being a very intense character! He's completely devoted to XL and that zealotry is very unique in a character. He's 100%, not 50, not 75. While he has a lot of relateable aspects, this part of him is utterly fantastical, on the level only myth and fable can achieve--which tracks. After all, he isnt a Ghost King for nothing. In the story, he is the embodiment of the purest devotion, no strings attached.

3.) He Xuan: I actually like him for the same reasons as HC! He too is a walking fable, only instead of devotion, he represents vengence. (They're actually like foils of each other, which is quite neat.) I really adore his arc, and how murky his whole character is. It tells a cautionary tale of how sometimes, our worst enemy--the one who makes us most miserable--is often ourselves. SWD wronged him greviously, but HX's obsession with vengence ultimately prevented him from getting the peace and recompense he wanted in the end. Absolutely stellar storytelling.

4.) Mei Nianqing: While I often question his motives and methods, he is still a really good character. Caught between wanting to be a mentor and protector to XL, but still loving (platonically or romantically, that's up to you) JW. He's the only father figure in XL's life that actually took him seriously, even if he did have to come around to it. But ultimately, he was proud of who XL became even before he ascended. He was just terrified of XL drawing the attention of the one man he shouldn't--and did. However his belief in superstition and fear of Hong Hong-er also makes sense, even if it's sad. MNQ is also just a quirky and fun dude lol.

5.) Mu Qing: I really like how complicated and murky MQ's is in terms of his inner turmoil. I'm somewhat similar to him in the way he thinks, and it's real work not to make things worse for myself by expecting the worse. His background makes him naturally suspicious of... basically everyone, all the time, and it's honestly understandable. Ultimately, he does understand that you can't make assumptions about people's intentions by projecting your own insecurities onto them--which I think is something everyone can relate to. I really like his subtle journey of self-realization and self-forgiveness, and he ends up far better for it.

MDZS

1.) Lan Wangji: I love the fact that LWJ was just so ready to Night Hunt himself to death upon the loss of his beloved. As you can tell, I really like complicated characters who have extreme traits, haha! That being said, I just also really like his stoicism and reliability.

2.) Wei Wuxian: Naturally, it's hard not to love WWX! He decided "yeah maybe the ends do justify the means" and went for it. To us, he is the hero. To the regular people of the world? Whose ancestors were dug up and disturbed to be used by the Yiling Laozu? His blackened reputation is not without cause! (Like... JGY literally has done more positive and helpful things for regular people than Wangxian, but those metas already exist lol.) Once again, his gray morality is what makes him so damn good, and can be debated at length!

3.) Jiang Cheng: JC gets a bad rep, but oh boy he doesn't make things easy for himself at all. However if I was in his position, I probably would be much worse off. He lost EVERYTHING, and still trudged on because there were people who depended on him. His hatred of the Wens also makes sense in the context that... that's often how humans react to and process extreme trauma. We find something to blame and *waves at literally every major conflict since the dawn of time.* (His rumored torture of innocent people due to that is reprehensible, of course, but given that MDZS is a book about how rumors can make or break someone's life... we should take that line with a grain of skepticism, much like all other hearsay.) He's not typically the type of character I like, but I found him really interesting to read.

4.) Jiang Yanli: I really love JYL, who decided to be the emotional backbone of her family from the time she was a child. It was an undue and extremely heavy burden to bear, but she did all of it without complaint. That's strength. I think many elder siblings can relate to her having to step up and be the third parent, when the actual adults fail at it.

5.) Wen Qing: I really like her arc in the novel, where she makes some of the hardest decisions anyone will ever have to make, over and over and over again. I don't typically love very "rough" characters, but she has ever right to be that way (and it makes sense for her character, and isn't just a tacked-on character trait like hair color or eye color in a CC), and honestly I want to marry her very seriously.

SVSSS

1.) Luo Binghe: Probably the most misunderstood main character of all of MXTX's works. LBH is neither truly a crybaby nor is he a ruthless maniac. He's right in the middle, in the valley of misanthropy. And yet, he knows just how to use his charisma to get his way. Cunning and devious, intelligent and ruthless. Meanwhile, he craves love and intimacy--something he could only ever dream of.

2.) Shen Qingqiu (Shen Yuan): Extremely refreshing to see an transmigrator know how to handle transmigration almost flawlessly. (Me reading/watching other works with this trope and wanting to tear my hair out at the protags = me sympathizing on a personal level with SQQ.) This also proves to be SQQ's fatal flaw!! His knowledge of the novel is both a boon and a obstacle to him, and prevents him from understanding the other characters as people until he lets go of his pre-conceived notions. And of course, his snarky as heck inner dialogue is amazing.

3.) Liu Qingge: I don't actually even know why I love LQG as much as I do. He's just neat.

4.) Tianlang-Jun: Honestly same goes for TLJ. He's just great though, and I have a blast reading about him. He wanted to see the good in humanity, and ultimately comes around after writing them off.

5.) Yue Qingyuan: He's a fascinating character. Harmless on the outside, but a quagmire on the inside. His love for Shen Jiu was quite... problematic, in that he saught forgiveness from SJ, without actually ever taking the time to understand him or to make amends. Patronizing and judgemental, yet willing to let SJ get away with literally anything because of his own unresolved turmoil, etc etc. Fascinating.

#if this sounds like I want to study some of these characters under a microscope then you'd be correct #i also have a lot more faves i would want to talk about but actually it's a lot of work to Think #i just really love characters who make me think or are very complicated #tgcf #mdzs #svsss #asks #nyerus.txt #thanad-zid

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ibijau · 3 years

Text

You’re a marked man, brother, part 5 (end) / also on AO3

With everything over, Lan Xichen and Nie Mingjue move forward

After returning to the Heavenly Court, Lan Xichen, Lan Wangji, and Nie Mingjue had to report to the Jade Emperor what they had discovered about Jin Guangyao. This, in turn, created a great deal of chaos to be dealt with, and a number of heavenly officials were demoted as a result of this reveal. No matter how clever Jin Guangyao had been, no matter how powerful the fate changing spell and the curse laid on Nie Huaisang, it would have been impossible for Jin Guangyao to remain in place for this long without anyone noticing. In the days that followed his death, a number of his former friends, his subordinates, and at least one higher ranking civil god were revealed to have at least suspected he didn’t belong in the Heavenly Court, and to have profited from his position to scheme and get away with corruption.

There was a trial.

Aside from those former associates forced to confess their crimes, Nie Mingjue and Lan Xichen were also called to explain what they had discovered, and the circumstances of those discoveries. To recount these events in front of their peers, to explain how they had both been tricked into betraying someone they’d loved as dearly as Nie Huaisang, was a true torture.

When it was over, when the emperor had given his judgement and they were free at last, Nie Mingjue took Lan Xichen to his palace. Truly, Lan Xichen had barely stepped inside his own home the whole time. He couldn’t bear to be there and see marks of Jin Guangyao’s presence, constant reminders of how he had been so thoroughly fooled. It wasn’t that they hadn’t all three made memories in Nie Mingjue’s palace as well, but Lan Xichen felt the sting of betrayal a little less strongly there.

Still, it was the first time the two of them were alone since everything unfolded, and for the first time in their long acquaintance Lan Xichen felt uncomfortable as they sat together, Nie Mingjue pouring wine for both of them. Lan Xichen didn’t normally drink, but on that day he decided an exception might be needed.

“So,” Nie Mingjue said when he sat as well, glaring at his cup of wine. “You and Huaisang.”

Shivering slightly, Lan Xichen put down his own cup of alcohol. Perhaps drinking would be unwise after all. He'd known they couldn't avoid that conversation forever, so why not get it over now, when they'd already exposed so much of themselves?

“Me and Huaisang,” he confirmed in a whisper, nodding slowly.

“How long…”

“It happened after you ascended,” Lan Xichen explained, only to wince as he realised this might not sound good. “There was something before as well, but we became lovers after you ascended. It would have happened even if you hadn’t left, I think. That just… precipitated things.”

Lan Xichen remembered Nie Huaisang so cheerful in public, so happy for his brother and involved in those early efforts to get him followers, who once broke into tears in his arms when they were alone because he just missed Nie Mingjue so much. Lan Xichen had offered him all the comfort he could give, and Nie Huaisang had seized his chance to change things between them… not that Lan Xichen had put up much resistance anyway.

“I had offered to take him to the Middle court,” Nie Mingjue said in a low, threatening voice. “The instant I ascended, I came back for him, and he refused. Was it because…”

Lan Xichen quickly shook his head. "No!" he exclaimed, and instantly Nie Mingjue relaxed. “I wouldn't have asked him to stay for my sake. I offered as well,” he said, his chest constricting at the memory. He’d first seen his own brother of course, but his second trip back to the mortal world had been for his lover. “He also refused. He said he wanted to take care of your father, especially since things had started going bad.”

That moment haunted Lan Xichen, ever since their encounter with the Magpie King. It had been their last time together, and he could see himself, in his newly ascended glory, lying in bed with Nie Huaisang’s head on his shoulder, warm and comfortable and nearly happy, save for Nie Huaisang rejecting his offer. He hadn’t known then how bad things had become for his lover, hadn’t known about the rumours, about the true state of old master Nie’s mental health. He just knew that Nie Huaisang had laughed and said he wasn’t ready yet to give up on mortal life, that he needed to be a dutiful son, that he’d miss his mother too much, and his little pet birds as well.

“I should have insisted,” Lan Xichen sighed, staring at the cup of wine he dared not drink. “If I had insisted, perhaps I could have saved him and he wouldn’t have become…”

He trailed off, thinking of the Magpie King’s disgust over their accidental betrayal, of him demanding their deaths, rejecting the idea of reconciliation. To think his A-Sang, mischievous but kind heart, could have become such a person…

“I should have insisted as well,” Nie Mingjue said. “But that kid was stubborn as a mule, and I’ve always spoiled him.”

He served himself more wine, which he drank too quickly.

"He was begging when I killed him, you know," Nie Mingjue whispered, sounding haunted. "At the time I couldn't even hear what he was saying, couldn't recognise who he was, just a stranger who'd come into my house and killed my family. But now I realise, now I can remember what I didn't hear back then, and he was begging me for mercy.” He drank some more. “Thought I was angry at him for killing father, for not saving everyone. He thought I hated him, and then I murdered him.”

Lan Xichen shivered. He hadn’t been there that day, but he remembered the memory the Magpie King had shown them. He wished he hadn't been made to see that. Nie Huaisang, desperate and broken… that wasn't how Lan Xichen would have preferred to remember him.

“I can’t touch Baxia anymore,” Nie Mingjue confessed. “I’m so out of balance, I think she’d turn on me if I so much as looked at her.”

Unsure what to answer, Lan Xichen said nothing. He thought that Baxia, having once beheaded Nie Huaisang without hesitation, would have no right to judge Nie Mingjue now… but that wasn’t how sabre worked. At that time, Nie Mingjue had been absolutely convinced to be in the right, and that was all that mattered to Baxia. Now he was full of doubt, and the sabre would have hated to be yielded with uncertainty.s

Lan Xichen sighed, and drank his cup of wine after all.

He had little dignity left to preserve anyway.

Once things had settled in the Heavenly Court, and while his palace was being cleansed from the more obvious traces of Jin Guangyao’s prolonged stay, Lan Xichen suggested that Nie Mingjue and him take a break to visit the mortal world.

Or rather, to visit a certain undead part of it. Nie Mingjue initially showed some reluctance at the idea of going among ghosts and demons when he still couldn’t touch his sabre, but eventually agreed to go to the Burial Mounds to meet with Wei Wuxian.

They were well received there, even more so than Lan Xichen on his first visit. They were offered tea, and welcomed into the Demon Slaughtering Cave which appeared to have been hastily cleaned up for them. It wasn’t as comfortable a place as their palaces in the Heavenly Court, there were papers everywhere, broken trinkets and half abandoned experimentation hidden under whatever old robes had been around, but Lan Xichen found it less distasteful than he would have expected only some weeks earlier. There was a certain homeliness to this mess of a place, or perhaps it was just because Lan Wangji looked so happy there with his husband.

The tea was served on an uneven table, in mismatched cups, and the four of them sat together to share pretty little cakes that Lan Xichen had brought, his brother's favourites.

“I’m not sure I’ll have the answers you seek,” Wei Wuxian warned them before they could even say anything. “We’re not… I’m not on bad terms with the Magpie King, but I don’t know if I’m on good ones either. And he’s just never been the sort to talk about himself. For most of our acquaintance I wasn’t even sure who he was. Doesn’t help he changed faces every so often.”

Lan Xichen nodded, throwing a glance at an ashen looking Nie Mingjue. He hadn't wanted to come here, and looked as if he thought it had been the wrong decision.

“We understand this,” Lan Xichen told his brother-in-law. “It’s just that… you and Wangji are the only people who can tell us anything at all.”

“I’ll try my best,” Wei Wuxian promised. “And I can speculate a bit about some things, too. So… where do you want me to start?”

“How did you meet him?” Nie Mingjue asked.

Wei Wuxian grimaced and fell silent for a moment. Lan Wangji took his hand and squeezed it gently in encouragement, prompting his husband to smile weakly at him before returning his attention to the other two.

“You probably won’t like that,” he said in a more serious tone than Lan Xichen had expected from him. “But I first met him when he tried to convince me to betray king Jiang Wanyin. We were allied to the Jin, the king’s sister married to their prince, and the Magpie King thought I could help him ruin both kingdoms at once. I had no idea back then why he was so determined to throw the Jin dynasty into chaos. But anyway, I refused, insulted him copiously for ever thinking I’d turn on my shidi, and then I ran to try and warn the Jin that there was trouble brewing.”

He paused and grimaced again, leaning against Lan Wangji who wrapped one arm around his shoulder, pulling him closer.

“Didn’t go so well,” he muttered. “Didn’t go well at all. I died, a bunch of Jin died, the Jiang dynasty ended, all that. I stuck around though. Didn’t much like the Jin, but their little prince was my late shijie’s son, and I figured I should protect him in her memory. So of course, when I met the Magpie King again and he wanted to get rid of that kid, we had a bit of a fight… he sucks at combat, but the way,” Wei Wuxian claimed, looking at Nie Mingjue. “I wouldn’t have expected the connection to you.”

“He never cared for that,” Nie Mingjue confirmed, just a touch of his old exasperation piercing through. “So you fought him and won?”

Wei Wuxian chuckled. “Fought him and lost, actually. I was just a small ghost, and he was a Devastation, even if he wasn’t too great at it. He tried again to make me turn against the Jin, but I refused again. I think I must have said something about family coming first, and that might have impressed him. From what I’ve heard since, he’s got a soft spot for that.”

Nie Mingjue paled at what he had to take as an attack, but Wei Wuxian quickly reassured him.

“I don’t think he’s nearly as mad at you as he looked that time,” he said. “He really does have a soft spot for those who protect their families, and he’ll be merciless to those who betray them.”

“Like we did,” Nie Mingjue said.

Wei Wuxian clicked his tongue in annoyance and shoved a cake in his mouth.

“If he were really mad, Sangcan wouldn’t have been like that,” he claimed, making himself more comfortable in Lan Wangji’s embrace. “And that’s the true heart of him, I think. The Magpie King is the persona he uses to be scary and impressive, but I’ve seen him as Sangcan far more often, and he’s not so bad like that.”

"I thought Sangcan was just a clone he'd created," Lan Xichen said.

"And one of many no doubts, but his favourite," Wei Wuxian claimed. "It's the form I've most often met him as, over the years, and the one with the most personality. He only brings out the Magpie King if it's necessary, and he brings out Sangcan when he wants to be recognised by those he knows. Even gave him part of his name, eh?"

"I used to call him Sangcan when he was a child," Nie Mingjue confessed. "He hated it, so I'd stopped doing it by the time Jin Guangyao joined our household."

Lan Xichen's breath stuck in his throat. He remembered something about that. Nie Huaisang had told him, once, and he'd been so annoyed about that old nickname. Lan Xichen had tried to comfort him with poetry, Nie Huaisang had blushed and… and he'd wanted to kiss Nie Huaisang so badly even though that wouldn't happen for another few years.

"So Lianfang-Zun wouldn't have known to seal away that name," Wei Wuxian mused. “And so Sangcan was still able to use it. I guess right from the start, he must have been looking for ways to get around that curse and make someone guess who he was. Lan Zhan, didn’t he even approach you directly when you first met?”

Lan Wangji nodded, and glanced at his brother, looking rather sorry.

“He asked if I knew him. He was disappointed when I didn’t, and again when I introduced myself.”

Something icy spread through Lan Xichen’s heart.

His brother and him looked similar, enough so to have been mistaken for twins on occasions. Nie Huaisang could easily have spotted Lan Wangji during one of his missions in the mortal world and been given false hope for a moment, only to realise that he’d made a mistake. Nie Huaisang and Lan Wangji had never met as mortals, but Lan Xichen had spoken a lot about his brother to the boy he loved.

He wondered what it must have felt like for Nie Huaisang, seeing a man who looked so much like his lost lover fall in love with someone else. Lan Xichen’s marriage wasn’t much talked about among mortals where tolerance for these things came and went like waves on a beach, but among gods and ghosts it was a well known fact, one that Nie Huaisang couldn’t have ignored. To know this, to see something similar happen with Lan Wangji…

He sipped on his tea to give himself a moment and get his emotion under control.

“Does this all mean, then, that Sangcan is the real him?” Lan Xichen asked, more hopeful than he ought to have been.

But Sangcan had been… nice. A little awkward, a little clumsy, a little silly, but nice. Sangcan was a coward but he hadn’t hesitated to follow Lan Xichen into the Unclean Realm, and he had jumped in front of him when Jin Guangyao would have stabbed him. If Sangcan was the real Nie Huaisang...

“I think Sangcan is just one part of him,” Wei Wuxian corrected, “and the Magpie King is another part of him, and maybe there’s other personas I just haven’t had a chance to meet. If you put all of them together, that’s probably the real Nie Huaisang.”

Lan Xichen couldn’t help slumping down a little.

“The anger is real,” Lan Wangji said. “The kindness is real too. When Jin Guangyao would have stabbed you, Nie Huaisang protected you both times, in both his shapes.”

Lan Xichen nodded, unconvinced, but Nie Mingjue scoffed.

“Jin Guangyao attacked because Huaisang pushed him to it. I’m not sure he gets points for changing his mind about seeing us dead.”

“He showed you who Jin Guangyao was,” Lan Wangji countered with surprising vehemence. “Without this proof of character, you might have missed him.”

As unpleasant as it was, Lan Xichen couldn’t deny it. Until Jin Guangyao’s first attempt to stab him, he had wanted to believe that his late husband had truly just made an honest mistake which got out of hand. He might even have been foolish enough to want to give him another chance if he hadn't died, especially after Nie Huaisang made it clear he had no wish for reconciliation.

They had spent centuries together. Lan Xichen had thought they were in love. He’d told himself they were in love. He’d done his best to respect his husband’s boundaries, to never ask for more intimacy than Jin Guangyao was willing to give, to content himself with the companionship they shared even when he’d felt at times as if they were friends rather than husbands. Lan Xichen had done his best to be good, but he still understood why the other man would have jumped at the chance of getting rid of him, after being forced to pretend for so long.

“Nie Huaisang’s method was wrong,” Lan Wangji said. “The goal was commendable.”

“Wangji, it sounds like you actually like him,” Nie Mingjue remarked, sounding almost envious. Lan Wangji and him were on somewhat cordial terms, but they'd never managed to become particularly close, even though Nie Mingjue would have liked to.

“He helped me before,” Lan Wangji soberly replied, looking at Wei Wuxian, refusing to elaborate.

“Yeah, he��s a sentimental one, when he’s not playing up the Magie King,” Wei Wuxian agreed, nuzzling shamelessly against his husband. “He even came to our wedding, as Sangcan. He’s a sap, really.

“He was different that time,” Lan Wangji pointed out. “His manners were serious.He seemed more sad. He must not like weddings, but he came for us. He came as his entire self.”

This caused a new pang of pain to Lan Xichen. He’d been so shocked at first to learn that his brother had gone and married a ghost king, and then everything else had happened, the Magpie King, the trial in the Heavenly Court, but now that he could think about it, he realised he had missed his brother’s wedding.

Not just missed it: he hadn’t been invited to it, Lan Wangji apparently believing that Lan Xichen would be uncomfortable with such an odd union. And he had been at first, but he’d come around quickly. He would have come around then too, if only Lan Wangji had told him.

Instead, in those past centuries, Lan Wangji had never once mentioned Wei Wuxian, or else only in such a roundabout way that Lan Xichen had never realised his brother had fallen for someone.

“It must have been a pleasant wedding,” Lan Xichen said, careful to keep his voice even.

Wei Wuxian burst out laughing. “Not really? I was under shock after actually surviving the trials of Tonglu Mountain, and Lan Zhan got all sappy over seeing me again, so we decided to make it a thing before anyone could say anything. It was just the two of us and the Wen siblings, but of course the Magpie King always knows everything and he crashed our wedding as Sangcan. He did bring some wine and good food though, so I guess it’s fine.”

“Nie Huaisang told me where to find Wei Ying,” Lan Wangji said, which made his husband gasp.

“You never said! That explains how you found me so quickly then. Lan Zhan, shame on you for keeping secrets from your lawful husband and consorting with my enemies! Or my friends? Honestly, I don’t really know what Sangcan and I are, ahah.”

After this Nie Mingjue and Lan Xichen lingered a little longer in the Burial Mounds, but not too long either. There was something about Lan Wangji and Wei Wuxian's joy that was painful to witness, when the two of them were only starting to process the loss they had suffered. They were both invited to visit again whenever they pleased. Lan Xichen intended to take that offer, and knew Nie Mingjue probably wouldn't.

Whatever his feelings toward ghost kings, Nie Mingjue still asked Wei Wuxian to tell Nie Huaisang that his brother missed him, should he meet him again. Wei Wuxian promised to do his best.

"But you know,” he said, “with Jin Guangyao dead, the fate exchange spell must have lifted, and his luck probably returned. So he'll meet you for sure if that's what he wants, and then you can tell him yourself."

It was meant as a comfort, surely.

All Lan Xichen heard was that they would never see Nie Huaisang again if he didn't want to be found.

Weeks passed, turning into months, into years. Lan Xichen built a new normalcy into his life. He missed Jin Guangyao, at first, if only out of habit. For centuries, they had rarely been apart for more than a few days at a time after all. But as time passed, it became easier to be on his own.

He kept himself busy answering as many prayers as he could, only avoiding San-Zun temples. Those were quickly falling in disrepair anyway. Even without formal announcement, mortals could always tell when a god had fallen, and they were usually quick to turn their prayers elsewhere.

When he wasn’t working, Lan Xichen often spent time with Nie Mingjue. It had been awkward at first, the spectres of Jin Guangyao and Nie Huaisang lingering between them, pulling them apart. But having lost so much, neither of them was willing to lose also their last friend, and they managed to find a new balance. Lan Xichen also made sure to frequently visit his brother in the Burial Mounds, and to give him some mission or other to justify his prolonged stay in the mortal world. Everyone knew why Lan Wangji was absent from the Heavenly Court, but Lan Xichen preferred to keep up appearances.

Then, when he could, Lan Xichen wandered alone in the mortal world.

It was something he already used to do before, sometimes dragging Jin Guangyao with him as he looked for something he couldn’t quite name. The only real difference now was that he no longer had to pretend he wasn’t looking for the boy he had loved in his youth.

Lan Xichen knew that Nie Mingjue was doing the same, had always done the same. He knew also that recently they’d both caught glimpses of a silhouette here and there, of a face, that always disappeared too fast into crowds. On good days, Lan Xichen thought that Nie Huaisang was waiting for the right moment to approach them. On bad days, he suspected the Magpie King was just keeping an eye on them, waiting to strike perhaps, his revenge not over yet.

No matter which it was, Lan Xichen continued looking for him, knowing he would be glad to see him again, however changed Nie Huaisang might be.

There had been enough prayers coming from that city, and all of them urgent enough, that Lan Xichen had come in person to check the ghost terrorising that area.

The ghost in question, which seemed to be of Wrath level, had been abducting newborns for years at that point, but recently started doing so at such a speed that the whole city lived in terror. Cultivators of all levels had tried to solve the problem, only to end up dead. A small local martial god had also attempted to check the matter, but he had barely escaped with his life and had come to ask Lan Xichen for his help.

Lan Xichen, who had only stayed out of this because it would have seemed rude to take action on that other god's territory, agreed to lend a hand.

The city in question wasn't very big, and it wasn't very rich either. Since the ghost's attacks had become more frequent, every new or expecting mother who could had left the city to spend time with relatives, and some older children had been sent away as well, in case the ghost decided to broaden its tastes. Walking the streets, Lan Xichen noticed an air of sadness and despair all around, which only further motivated him to solve the issue.

Yet just as he was starting to investigate the matter, a rumour spread through the city. The ghost had already been eliminated, and the latest child it had stolen had been found alive. Nobody had borne witness to that heroic act, but the child and the remains of the ghost had been found before the city's Zewu-jun temple, and many prayers had been done to that god, people said, so it wasn't hard to guess what had happened.

Lan Xichen, who knew very well that he hadn't done anything yet, was stunned to hear this.

He finushed his investigation while the city exploded in celebration. A quick check confirmed that the slain ghost appeared to have been powerful enough to have terrorized the city, and it bore marks of having used the energies of very young children to sustain itself. The danger had passed, but Lan Xichen couldn't figure out how.

A little suspicious of this situation, he decided to linger a while in that city. Taking on a mortal shape, he wandered among the celebrations, enjoying food here and there while staying on the lookout for whoever had brought peace back to these people.

Because he was so attentive, he spotted a man sitting at a table in front of an inn with a bowl of soup to eat, and froze on the spot. Lan Xichen hesitated, just a moment. But the coincidence was really too great to ignore, so he walked to that table and sat on a free chair.

"It was you, wasn't it?" He asked, startling the middle aged man across from him. "The Wrath, you took care of it?"

Sangcan dropped his spoon and stared at Lan Xichen with wide, fearful eyes.

"Zewu-jun!" Sangcan explained, before pressing a hand to his mouth, eyes darting around. "So you came here for this? Ah, my lord, I'm sorry, I'm really sorry. There was no intention to steal your kill, my lord! But, well… that Wrath owed the Magpie King a debt, and it was trying to get out of repaying it, right ? So of course…"

He gestured pathetically toward the celebrations. Sangcan really just looked like a pitiful man, terrified in front of someone more powerful than him, just as he had back then. It made Lan Xichen doubt, but still he had to ask.

"Are you just Sangcan today, or are you fully yourself?"

Sangcan frowned at the question, then glanced around. Seeing that nobody was paying them any mind, he sat straighter and passed his hand in front of his face. His features changed, though his clothes stayed the same simple ones. It was the same face he'd worn as the Magpie King that time in the Unclean Realm, though his expression retained a softness that was more like Sangcan's.

"I guess Wei Wuxian babbled too much, as usual," Nie Huaisang sighed, nearly pouting. "So, what does Zewu-jun want from the Magpie King? Apologies, perhaps?" he asked, his tone making it clear those were unlikely to be offered.

Lan Xichen motioned a waiter for a pot of tea before turning his attention back to the other man.

"I take it you haven't seen Wei Wuxian since that time?"

"No. I'm waiting for the honeymoon to be over," Nie Huaisang said, definitely pouting this time. "Wangji and him are just unbearable, aren't they? It makes me regret getting involved, the world doesn't need such disgusting displays of affection."

"They can be a bit much," Lan Xichen admitted with a chuckle. "But I understand they've waited a long time for this."

"You can say that again," Nie Huaisang muttered, producing a fan to hide behind. "Come now. You aren't here to talk about your brother's love life. Whatever you have to say, say it already."

The waiter returned, serving tea for both of them, giving Lan Xichen a chance to gather his thoughts. He hadn't really considered what to say when approaching Nie Huaisang. Having spotted him, he had just found it impossible to stay away.

He took a sip of tea. It was nothing like the exquisite brews he was served in the Heavenly Court, but there was something refreshing and pleasant in how plain it was. Simple wasn't a bad quality, Lan Xichen figured.

"I missed you," he said, quite simply.

Nie Huaisang snickered, eyeing his own cup of tea with suspicion.

"Did you now? After I made your husband try to kill you, you somehow missed me?"

His voice wasn't as gentle as in Lan Xichen memories. Right then, it carried a viciousness that the A-Sang of old would have never shown. It had disturbed Lan Xichen when he'd first met the Magpie King in the Unclean Realm, but it no longer did. It was only to be expected that they had both changed, after such a long time, and Nie Huaisang certainly had a right to some bitterness.

"I missed you before," Lan Xichen explained, earning an unimpressed look from the other man. "I did, believe it or not. There were parts of you that Jin Guangyao couldn't erase. Parts he didn't know about, like the name Sangcan, or…"

Lan Xichen trailed off, heat colouring his cheeks at the thought of what else Jin Guangyao hadn't known about.

"I spent centuries looking for a lost friend by the name of A-Sang," he said with an embarrassed cough. "One I assumed would be a ghost. Mingjue-xiong too was missing you, although in his case…"

"Da-ge never misses me," Nie Huaisang scoffed, closing his fan with a sharp gesture. "Not then, not now. I killed his father back then, and now I've defiled his precious sabre by using it to kill dear Guangyao. Don't lie to me, Xi… Zewu-Jun. I know how da-ge must feel about me. I've heard he won't even use Baxia, now that she has been tainted."

"You're right, and you're wrong," Lan Xichen mildly protested, thinking of Nie Mingjue’s guilt, of him resenting the sabre that hadn't stopped him from doing the irreparable. "You should speak to him. You've been spying on him anyway, haven't you?"

Nie Huaisang shrugged, looking away at the ongoing celebrations with affected nonchalance.

"No more than I've always done before," he said, reopening his fan and moving it in a slow, elegant manner. "I had to keep an eye on things, to see if Jin Guangyao's spell might weaken with time." The fan stilled. "And also to make sure he wouldn't harm you or da-ge," Nie Huaisang confessed. "I knew what he was capable of, even to those he called his friends… and he was getting strong enough he might soon have no longer needed you two."

Lan Xichen thought of the number of gods, small and big, who had confessed to being part of Jin Guangyao’s network during the trial. And those were only the ones who had been careless enough to be caught. Not to mention Jin Guangyao's cult among mortals had been on the rise in the past century, with more and more officials praying to him for good fortune.

"Do you think he would have…" Lan Xichen started, only to realise how pointless the question would be. Jin Guangyao had shown he was more than ready to get rid of Lan Xichen and Nie Mingjue at a moment's notice. "Ah. Then I owe you my thanks for protecting us, and Mingjue-xiong as well. I am sure he would love to thank you in person. He really does miss you, no matter what you think."

"He misses his little brother," Nie Huaisang corrected, fanning himself again. "I'm not sure I'm that person anymore. And I'm not sweet little A-Sang who flirted with you either. That person is dead."

"Then let us get to know you as you are now," Lan Xichen pleaded, aching to reach over the table and grab Nie Huaisang's hand. "We just want you in our lives, whoever you are."

"If this is about the red thread between us," Nie Huaisang started, squaring his shoulders, but Lan Xichen quickly shook his head.

It was good to know that they had been fated once, and heartbreaking to realise this had been stolen from them. But having spent centuries at the side of a man who barely tolerated him, all because fate dictated it, had dampened Lan Xichen's faith in the idea of soulmates. That was why he hadn't used the spell which showed read thread a single time since Jin Guangyao’s death, no matter how tempting it had been to see if he could find Nie Huaisang that way.

"I don't trust fate," Lan Xichen said. "It isn't meant to be trusted anyway. I just want to know the person you have become, and let you find out the same about me. If something happens again between us, I will be happy. If it doesn't… then I hope we can be friends. That would please me very much."

Nie Huaisang raised his fan, trying to hide a creeping blush.

"I see. I see, you're really just as sappy as your brother then!" Nie Huaisang whined. "How terrible, this is just… I don't like fate either. I hate it! But I… I've missed you, and I've missed da-ge. I've missed you both so much, sometimes it felt like it was killing me a second time that I might never be around the two of you again! But you… and da-ge, you really think he'd…"

"I can call him here right now," Lan Xichen offered. "He'll be here in an instant, and he'll tell you himself what he feels."

Nie Huaisang tensed at the offer, the hand holding his fan trembling badly with emotion. But in the end, after a long hesitation, he nodded shyly.

"I want to see him," he whispered. "I've… I've really missed him."

"Then I will get him to join us," Lan Xichen replied. "Let's find somewhere more private though. You know how Mingjue gets when he's emotional."

"He'll cry everywhere," Nie Huaisang laughed, as if his own eyes weren't shiny with nearly spilling tears. "I'll go inside to see if we can rent a private room, just give me a moment."

He dashed away to find the innkeeper, while Lan Xichen smiled so widely his cheeks hurt.

What was lost couldn't be retrieved, but hopefully they might build something new from the ashes of everything Jin Guangyao had destroyed.

#xisang #nie huaisang #lan xichen #nie mingjue #mo dao zu shi #mdzs #jau writes #marked man au

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gusu-emilu · 3 years

Text

seven nights to turn (3/4)

chapter three: turn

Ship: Jiang Cheng / Wen Ning

Summary: Jiang Cheng counts the passage of time by nights, not days. He’s spending the next seven in a cabin on the fringe of the Cloud Recesses. On the first night, he hears humming.

Rated E, Post-Canon, Mentioned Canonical Violence & Character Deaths, Grief/Trauma, Panic Attacks, but finally some bonding time

<< Ch. 1 | < Ch. 2

read on AO3 or on Tumblr below

“Wen Qionglin!”

Wen Ning almost looks at him, but then his eyes roll back, and he convulses even harder.

Jiang Cheng holds him firm. “Listen to me! Wen Ning!”

He whimpers. The resentful energy surrounding him thickens, reaches toward Jiang Cheng.

“Say something!”

Wen Ning’s eyes are still fixed on the spot on the floor where the brush had landed. “That’s a—that’s what the Lan use to clean their guqins,” he says.

“I know what it is.” Jiang Cheng staggers to his feet, his back aching from being shoved to the floor.

“Why do you have it?”

Jiang Cheng considers storming out the door and not looking back, but he can’t bring himself to move.

“For…” Wen Ning furrows his brow, like this is the most perplexing situation he’s ever encountered. “For Hanguang-Jun?”

If only Wen Ning had assumed the brush was for someone else, some random Lan disciple, or one of the juniors—hell, even Lan Qiren would do—because letting Wen Ning think that he bought a guqin brush for that stuck-up asshole Lan Wangji is not allowable.

“It’s for Lan Sizhui.” Jiang Cheng grits his teeth. “Wei Wuxian asked me to buy it.”

Wen Ning shakes his head. “No, A-Yuan just got a new brush recently. All Wei-gongzi needs to buy for him is cleaning oil.”

Jiang Cheng is beginning to feel like a caged animal.

Wen Ning takes an awkward step toward him. “Did you leave that bottle of oil outside A-Yuan’s door?”

“How do you know about that?”

He shrugs. “I saw it there.”

It’s a good thing that Wen Ning didn’t light a lamp in the room, because Jiang Cheng’s cheeks are starting to burn. Hopefully the blue moonlight doesn’t reveal any color in his face.

“Why didn’t you leave the brush there, too?”

Before Jiang Cheng knows what he’s doing, as if something outside himself is puppeteering his limbs and forcing him to speak, he walks up to Wen Ning and holds out the brush. “You give it to him.”

Wen Ning stares at it, his lips parted.

“Take it.”

He carefully lifts the brush from Jiang Cheng’s hand, making sure not to touch his skin, and continues to stare at it, studying its red handle. “These colors…A-Yuan can’t use this when other people are around.”

Jiang Cheng wants to bite his own lip open. He’s humiliated himself with yet another useless gift.

“Fine, then. It’s not like you appreciated the other things I gave you,” he says before he can stop himself.

Startled, Wen Ning tightens his grip around the brush. Then he murmurs, “Gave me?” His eyes widen. “The tea…talismans…”

Jiang Cheng’s gut plummets with panic.

“I’ve—I’ve—” Wen Ning stammers. “I’m sorry.”

“The hell are you apologizing for now?”

“You really were just trying to be kind, and in return I’ve…harmed you.”

“You didn’t harm me!” More heat rises in him at the suggestion that Wen Ning somehow hurt him—especially because in a way, it’s true. “And I wasn’t—I wasn’t ‘trying’ to be anything! It’s just, if you were going to hum outside my door every night, you should’ve at least done something to make it sound good!”

Wen Ning gives a sad, thoughtful look. The face of a corpse shouldn’t be this expressive. “I’ve disturbed your sleep.”

“I don’t sleep anyway!” He immediately clamps his mouth shut. He didn’t mean to say that.

Wen Ning seems to contemplate this for a moment. “I don’t either.” He walks away to find a place to set down the brush, his back turned to Jiang Cheng.

An excellent opportunity for Jiang Cheng to slip away.

He doesn’t.

He can’t push it down anymore. He can’t not admit it to himself.

There is something about Wen Ning that keeps Jiang Cheng rooted in place, waiting. A sense of Wen Ning’s potential to both heal and destroy him. A feeling that they share some of the same miseries. A hope to set one thing right out of the mistakes he made in the past.

The moment that Wen Ning protected Jin Ling from Baxia—his body bent over and strained, his teeth bared in a grimace, the skin of his palm slicing open under the blade as he held it back—Jiang Cheng’s entire perception of him flipped.

He can’t hate someone who is the reason Jin Ling is still alive.

Could Lan Sizhui be the key to changing how Wen Ning sees him?

A brush and a bottle of oil are nothing, pitiful gifts if they count as gifts at all, but Wen Ning seems like the type of person who would gaze in wonder if you gave him a pinecone and said it was because it looked pretty.

Could this sudden softening of Wen Ning’s demeanor be from Jiang Cheng’s show of care, however small, for Lan Sizhui?

How much more could he change how Wen Ning saw him if he actually did something worthwhile?

Dread rises in him at the thought. Somehow the idea of undeserved forgiveness from Wen Ning is more frightening than his wrath.

His thoughts break when Wen Ning returns to stand in front of him, his expression much softer than before. “Thank you. A-Yuan will like the brush.” He tugs at his sleeves. “I didn’t mean to be ungrateful. I just—I thought you would have understood.”

“The brush was just a random color.”

“No, not that—I mean, that too—but I…I mean, the other things.”

“I don’t have time to listen to you speak in riddles,” Jiang Cheng says despite the fact that it’s the middle of the night and he has nowhere to be. “Say it clearly.”

“Well, first—"

“It doesn’t need a preamble.”

Wen Ning’s expression darkens. “First, I don’t like to be called a Wen-dog.”

Jiang Cheng feels a pang in his chest. “I…I didn’t mean that anyway.”

Wen Ning nods, but he doesn’t seem exactly happy. Perhaps Jiang Cheng had snapped at him too much.

“Your humming…” Jiang Cheng looks away. “I didn’t mean that either. It’s fine. It could be better. But it’s fine.”

“Really?” Wen Ning sounds genuinely surprised. Then, more quietly: “I really had thought you would’ve understood.”

“Understood what?”

“Now that you know.”

“You—" He stops himself, takes a moment to sap some of the impatience from his voice. “Just get to the point.”

Wen Ning frowns. His voice is a low murmur, rough with the same imperfections as his humming. “I’ve always wondered what it might be like to be more human again. When Wei-gongzi returned from his travels, I asked him to help fix a few things about me. The first thing he worked on was my voice, so I could hum and sing.”

Jiang Cheng shifts his feet, waiting for him to continue.

Wen Ning looks out the window. “I’m very grateful for it. Wei-gongzi was happy too. After that he came up with more plans, more ways to help me. I thought that it would make me feel better.” He shakes his head. “It didn’t. Already the next day, I didn’t want it anymore. It just made me think of...” He trails off, then collects himself. “I’ve been experimented on enough already.”

Jinlintai.

What had it been like, those sixteen years Wen Ning was locked in Jinlintai?

Something claws up inside Jiang Cheng, and he realizes that it’s…protectiveness. “What did they do to you?”

“I don’t really remember.”

“That’s…good.”

Jiang Cheng had been tortured at the hands of the Wen, and that had only been for a night. He still dreams about it sometimes, the sting of the discipline whip on his back, the horror of his parents’ bodies bloody and lifeless on the ground, the iron grip that seemed to rip his core right out of him. He can’t imagine remembering years of agony like that. To have that pain forever weighing on his mind.

“I didn’t want Wei-gongzi’s help anymore,” Wen Ning says. “But I didn’t know how to tell him.” Apparently that’s the end of the story, because he meets Jiang Cheng’s eyes expectantly, as if waiting for something.

Jiang Cheng can’t help but be reminded of the golden core transfer.

He has been changed. Been experimented on.

The realization hits him, and his heart sinks. Wen Ning had expected him to know how it feels to be broken and fixed. To know the conflicting feelings of gratitude and inadequacy and guilt that resulted from it. This was why Jiang Cheng’s attempt to improve his humming offended him so much—because all his “help” did was tell Wen Ning that he was incomplete.

Of all people, Jiang Cheng should have known.

“I…” He swallows. “I understand.”

Relief appears on Wen Ning’s face. He looks down at his hands. Then, like he doesn’t want Jiang Cheng to hear it, he mumbles, “I’ve been avoiding him.”

That’s a shock.

To his surprise, Jiang Cheng finds himself getting angry on his brother’s behalf. “You shouldn’t do that,” he says. When Wen Ning glances up, confused, he clarifies, “Shouldn’t avoid him.”

“Neither should you.”

Jiang Cheng freezes.

He knows he can’t argue with that, but he tries anyway. “It would be easier for you,” he says, sharper than he means to.

Wen Ning looks him dead in the eyes. “Would it?”

That catches him off guard.

“One thing I do remember from Jinlintai is…” Wen Ning seems to wince as if old wounds are torn open again. “I remember M-Mo Xuanyu.”

Jiang Cheng’s eyes widen.

“He would talk to me. Sometimes he was even nice to me. But he also had to…had to…”

Now he fully understands.

What must it be like for Wen Ning to see his closest friend return in the body of someone who tortured him? How could he explain this to Wei Wuxian without making him feel guilty about something he couldn’t control?

Wen Ning looks lost in memory. Miserable.

Uncertain of what to say, Jiang Cheng rests his hand on Wen Ning’s shoulder.

Wen Ning makes the tiniest gasp and glances down at Jiang Cheng’s hand. Something shifts in his expression—Jiang Cheng can’t tell what—but it’s like a single knot of a giant tangle has come untied.

Jiang Cheng slowly removes his hand. “You shouldn’t have been there in Jinlintai.”

“But I killed so many of their clansmen.” His voice drops to a whisper. “I killed Jin Zixuan.”

“That wasn’t your fault.”

“It was by my hand. The resentful energy was mine.”

“You were being controlled!”

Wen Ning draws his lower lip between his teeth. His voice is thick with emotion, like he is afraid of his own words. “I have so much resentment in me.” He looks away suddenly, wrings his hands. “I never wanted to kill Jin Zixuan. I never wanted to kill anybody. But…I…” He squeezes his eyes shut. “I didn’t like him that much.”

Of course Wen Ning wouldn’t like Jin Zixuan. He was in a position of power, the best candidate to protect the Dafan Wen. He was the favored son of that gilded swine of a man who led the cruelty against them, and he did not prevent it.

“You can’t control whether or not you like someone,” Jiang Cheng says. “I didn’t like him all that much either!”

“But I couldn’t stop myself,” Wen Ning says. “All it took was Wei-gongzi losing control, and I lost control too. And because the resentment was already in me…I killed him. It was me.” He shakes his head. “This is why we can never be even, Jiang Wanyin. You stepped aside when you could have helped, and I—I can’t forgive you for that. But my people were already doomed to die from the beginning of the Sunshot Campaign. You didn’t even do anything to directly harm us.

“But I killed with my own hands. Jin Zixuan was never meant to die, and I had the chance to stop it. I didn’t.” He looks at the floor, his lip quivering. “If I hadn’t killed him…Wei-gongzi and Jiejie could’ve lived.”

Jiang Cheng grabs him by the shoulders. “Listen to me. I don’t blame you for what happened.”

“But—”

“I hate you for it. But I don’t blame you.”

“Then we truly can’t be even, because I still blame you.”

The words are like a punch in the stomach. But what else could he expect?

“Then blame me! Blame me all you want!”

“I don’t want to blame you.”

“Just…” Jiang Cheng lets go of him. “Make up your mind.”

Wen Ning is silent for a few moments. “I’m still worried about something like Qiongqi Path happening again. It almost did, when I was possessed by Baxia.”

“No. You saved Jin Ling.”

Wen Ning doesn’t reply.

Now would be the time for Jiang Cheng to leave, to finally let Wen Ning remain undisturbed. But he stands in place, suddenly calm.

“You said you don’t sleep.” Jiang Cheng tries to make it sound like a question.

“You don’t either?”

“…Not really.”

“I don’t need to sleep, though.”

“Can you?”

Wen Ning’s jaw tightens. “I don’t like to.”

Jiang Cheng rubs his thumb back and forth over the metal coils of Zidian. There are only a few things that could make someone choose not to sleep. “…Dreams?”

The only answer is a telling silence.

Nodding, Jiang Cheng turns toward the door and slides it open. Pauses.

He shuts the door. “If you…if you’re going to be up all night—”

“You can stay.” Wen Ning gestures toward the tea table. “If you want.”

Jiang Cheng chews his lip. He was going to ask Wen Ning to come to his cabin, but…that might be too much to ask for.

They sit.

The air feels slightly warmer, but dense and heavy. Wen Ning rocks back and forth in his seat, staring down at the table, until eventually he stops and there is no movement left in the room.

Anxious to break the stillness, Jiang Cheng pours a cup of tea, but he can’t bring himself to drink it. His eyes wander around the dim room, hunting for a distraction from the heaviness in the air. He nods toward the assortment of plants and cultivation objects on the windowsill. “What’s all that?”

Wen Ning turns toward the window. “Medicinal herbs.”

“Are you the doctor around here or something?”

“No, nothing like that. I’m…I’m trying to recreate some medicines that my sister used to make. A lot of the recipes are missing from her writings.” He looks down at his hands. “A lot of her work has been lost.”

A strange silence settles over them. Jiang Cheng feels a warm pulse from his golden core.

He clears his throat. “It’s uh…it’s a shame.”

Wen Ning thins his lips. Slouches forward.

“Have you made any of the medicines?” Jiang Cheng asks.

“Not quite.”

Jiang Cheng nods. “My…my sister used to write songs. She’d sing them.” He adds, more quietly, “Or hum them.”

Wen Ning’s gaze intensifies.

“She had pages and pages of music in Lotus Pier.” He turns the tea cup back and forth, wearing its bottom into the table. “All burned. She never rewrote them.”

“Do you remember them?”

He shrugs. “Sometimes.” Suddenly uncomfortable, he props his elbows on the table and folds his hands in front of his face, studying Wen Ning and wondering how to continue talking. If he should continue talking. He isn’t good at…whatever this is.

But questions are easy enough. Questions are working.

He points toward the window. “What’s the rest of the stuff there? All the spiritual items between the plants.”

Wen Ning hesitates for a moment, then walks over to the windowsill. “They’re mostly things the juniors found on night hunts.” He picks up a dark red gemstone. “This is a garnet stone that helps dissipate negative energies. A-Yuan found it near Qinghe.” He exchanges the stone for a necklace of carved wooden beads. “A-Yuan bought this in a town we visited.” Next he picks up a thin bundle of talismans, and his face lights up. “Wei-gongzi has been teaching A-Yuan how to invent his own talismans, and he wrote these himself. If you light one, it makes sparks that take the shape of an animal and fly through the air.”

He explains more items on the shelf, and although there are one or two “Lan Jingyi”s or “Ouyang Zizhen”s or some name Jiang Cheng doesn’t recognize in the mix, the same refrain comes up over and over: A-Yuan gave me this, A-Yuan bought that, A-Yuan made this, A-Yuan found that.

Apparently once Wen Ning gets on the topic of “A-Yuan,” he doesn’t shut up. Jiang Cheng finds himself reminded of how proud he felt each time A-Ling won a sword fight, or passed an exam, or defeated a beast on a night hunt. The corners of his mouth creep upward.

“And this one—" Wen Ning cuts off and stares at Jiang Cheng like something is wrong with him.

Embarrassed, Jiang Cheng clears the smile from his face. “What?”

Wen Ning stares for a little longer, then glances away. “Um, nothing.”

He doesn’t discuss the few remaining items, instead wordlessly examining the plants. Jiang Cheng finds himself relieved by this choice, as his thoughts of A-Ling disappear, replaced by the memory of a toddler hugging his leg in the Burial Mounds, and suddenly he doesn’t want to hear more about Lan Sizhui.

Although some of A-Ling’s milestones happened out of Jiang Cheng’s sight, he learned of them no less than a day later. Even so, Jiang Cheng still has keepsakes from A-Ling in his bedroom.

But Wen Ning missed everything in Lan Sizhui’s life. Of course he would clutch onto these small trinkets and display them like decorations.

Jiang Cheng rubs his thumbs together. “He’s…he’s a good kid.”

Wen Ning fiddles with the leaves of a plant. “He is.”

For the sake of something to do, Jiang Cheng finishes the tea in his cup. Pours another.

Wen Ning rests his hand on one of the pots on the windowsill. “I just remembered that I need to prune this plant. Is it alright if I—”

“I don’t care.”

Wen Ning carries over the large potted plant, some kind of small bush, and sets it down on the floor next to the table. He brings over shears that are bit too small for his hands and starts cutting away tiny sections of the bush. Jiang Cheng sips tea and listens to the gentle snipping sounds, sometimes watching Wen Ning tend to the plant, sometimes watching the liquid swirl in his cup, sometimes staring at nothing at all. Exhaustion begins to seep into him.

After a while, a faint sound of music reaches Jiang Cheng’s ears.

Humming.

Tension releases from his muscles. The cup feels heavy in his hand.

He must nearly close his eyes, because the humming stops, and Wen Ning murmurs, “I thought you don’t sleep.”

“Mn.” Jiang Cheng blinks a few times and straightens himself up.

He expects Wen Ning to suggest he go back to his own cabin, but instead Wen Ning asks, “Does this…does this help you sleep?”

“No.” He sounds drowsier than he wants to.

Wen Ning resumes his trimming of the plant.

The last thing Jiang Cheng remembers after that is half-walking, half-staggering back to his cabin, a phantomlike pressure steadying him—or perhaps nothing was touching him at all—and then soft blankets surround him as he drifts asleep to the faint melody of humming in the distance.

* * *

He wakes with a jolt.

Groaning. Someone is in pain—

It’s still nighttime. He must not have slept for long. He shoves off the covers and hastens outside, following the gut-wrenching groans until he arrives at the creek where Wen Ning and Lan Sizhui had played music four nights ago.

Wen Ning is on the ground, hunched over at the bank of the creek with his hands in the water. His body is convulsing. Dark, cloudy tendrils snake upward from him.

Resentful energy.

Jiang Cheng runs forward and drops to the ground beside Wen Ning. He grabs him by the shoulders and pulls him away from the water.

“Wen Qionglin!”

Wen Ning almost looks at him, but then his eyes roll back, and he convulses even harder.

Jiang Cheng holds him firm. “Listen to me! Wen Ning!”

He whimpers. The resentful energy surrounding him thickens, reaches toward Jiang Cheng.

“Say something!”

Wen Ning opens and closes his mouth, but no sound comes out.

Jiang Cheng is not the man to help in this situation. When has he ever been able to calm someone down? Wei Wuxian would know what to do—

Should he get Wei Wuxian?

But what could happen if he leaves Wen Ning alone?

He uses strength from his spiritual energy to steady Wen Ning’s convulsions. “I need you to come back! Tell me—”

“Don’t do it…” Wen Ning moans toward some unseen figure, as if trapped in a nightmare.

What could shake Wen Ning back to consciousness? Force him into the present?

The one thing that has grounded Jiang Cheng through the darkest times has been work—the tedium of life, of running his sect, the constant chores and movement. Something to latch onto and distract himself.

The idea doesn’t seem promising, but it’s worth a try.

“Tell me everything you do during a day,” Jiang Cheng says.

“A…a day?” Wen Ning croaks out.

“Just list it for me. List everything you do in the Cloud Recesses.”

Wen Ning doesn’t respond, but the smoke of resentful energy begins to wither, folding in on itself as it floats downward.

“What did you do today?” Jiang Cheng squeezes his shoulders tighter. “What do you need to do tomorrow?”

Wen Ning rocks back and forth. “I—I usually…b-buy things…”

“Good…good...”

“Go on night hunts.” The resentful energy begins to thin.

It’s working. He can’t believe it’s actually working.

“Keep going,” Jiang Cheng searches his face for signs of his awareness returning. “You’re—you’re doing well. Keep listing.”

“I take inventory of m-medical supplies.” Wen Ning’s voice is hoarse, but it’s beginning to sound less pained. “Sometimes I clean them.”

Jiang Cheng loosens his hold on Wen Ning, who has stopped rocking back and forth. “Good…tell me more.”

“Read music books that Hanguang-Jun gave me. Take care of the rabbits on the back hill.” He smiles a bit. “Get chased out of the Main Hall by Lan Qiren.”

He meets Jiang Cheng’s eyes, and the last wisps of resentful energy dissipate.

They stare at each other until Jiang Cheng realizes his hands are still on Wen Ning’s shoulders. He pulls away and stands up. Takes a few steps back and clears his throat.

Wen Ning hangs his head. “Th-Thank you.”

Jiang Cheng nods. Swallows. “You…weren’t kidding when you said you can’t control yourself.”

“I’m not usually like this.” He turns to watch the flow of the creek like he wants to dissolve into it and drift away. “This hasn’t happened to me in a long time.”

“…Why’d it happen now?”

Wen Ning gives a small, rueful smile. “I fell asleep.”

“Your dreams are that bad?”

“I don’t exactly get dreams anymore.” He fiddles with the sleeve of his robe. “They’re more like recurring memories.”

Memories. Those can be much worse than nightmares.

Jiang Cheng feels a sudden urge to lift this burden from Wen Ning. To be a well for Wen Ning to fill with his pain until everything from the past hangs on Jiang Cheng’s heart, not his.

His attempts to give Wen Ning something have been useless.

If Jiang Cheng is stuck forever taking from Wen Ning, he can at least try to take away something that weighs him down.

“Memories of what?”

Wen Ning silently trails his fingers through the creek. There is no sound in the forest except the water’s gentle murmuring as it flows around Wen Ning’s hand.

Just before Jiang Cheng is about to ask again, Wen Ning mumbles, “They made me watch.”

He doesn’t say anything else. Jiang Cheng slowly lowers to sit on the ground a few feet away and waits for him to continue speaking.

Wen Ning starts pulling out blades of grass from the ground, his fingers still wet from the creek and dripping beads of water onto the cold grass like dew. “I had to w-watch when she…when she was...” He trails off.

Jiang Cheng’s chest constricts.

He can’t be talking about what Jiang Cheng thinks he is.

But what else could it be?

By the way Wen Ning’s eyes are filled with pain, Jiang Cheng’s guess cannot be wrong.

Wen Ning was forced to watch Wen Qing be burned at the stake.

The image scorches his mind. Rips at his throat and leaves his voice useless.

He had never been able to bring himself to think about what might have happened to her in Jinlintai. He had seen the Dafan Wen hanging by nooses in a row along the wall of Nightless City, seen Wen Qing’s ashes scattered in the wind, and but to have seen her agony before she fell lifeless—the claws of flames, white skin seared red, spine-chilling screams—

Jiang Cheng had held A-Jie in his arms as she died, but at least she hadn’t screamed. At least she hadn’t writhed in pain. She had just quietly turned cold and motionless…

A soft whimper in front of him, and Jiang Cheng realizes that Wen Ning has started speaking again. He makes noises that don’t sound much like words until finally he whispers, “She never looked at me.”

Jiang Cheng suddenly finds it hard to breathe.

“I…I g-guess she thought that if she didn’t look at me, it wouldn’t hurt me as much. But—” He grips his sleeves tight, stretching the fabric as his hands begin to shake. “But I wanted her to look at me. And now when I sleep, I keep—I keep dreaming about it, but even in the dreams she never…n-never…”

The forest fades away.

A-Jie is limp in Jiang Cheng’s arms.

Bloody. Trembling.

Pulling her hand out of Jiang Cheng’s grasp, reaching one last time for Wei Wuxian.

She never looked at Jiang Cheng while she died.

The nightmare of A-Jie’s death has returned to him over and over, lurking in the depths of his grief and slithering into his dreams on nights he was already close to breaking.

But no matter how many times the nightmare repeats, A-Jie still never looks at him.

Jiang Cheng’s eyes feel like they might be wet, but his body seems separate from himself, distant. He sits closer to Wen Ning without being sure of how he gets there, without fully feeling the sensations of shifting his weight or pressing his hands into the grass or letting his breath become unsteady.

He wonders how Wen Ning was able to fall asleep here. If he does not need to sleep, why would he try, knowing what he would dream about?

But Jiang Cheng does not ask.

As they sit there at the bank of the creek, watching the water trickle along and catch the moonlight, the memories fade as if washed away by the stream. Wen Ning’s presence beside him, steady and motionless and slumped over slightly, is almost…comforting. It’s nice to have someone to sit next to.

His mind wanders to the list of Wen Ning’s daily activities in the Cloud Recesses. Despite all the chores and organizing, his life here sounds peaceful. Relaxed.

But why does Wen Ning only perform the jobs of an errand boy?

Jiang Cheng has seen him on night hunts, seen him step forward from the shadows and instantly eliminate danger with his strength and cleverness. And now Jiang Cheng has also seen the small collection of herbs Wen Ning grows in his cabin and uses to recreate lost medicines.

Yet to the Cloud Recesses, he is just an errand boy.

Doesn’t he have...more to offer than that?

The conversation Jiang Cheng overheard between Lan Sizhui and Lan Jingyi makes more sense now. Wen Ning acts differently while on night hunts than while in the Cloud Recesses because on night hunts, he is useful. In the Cloud Recesses, what difference is there between him and any ordinary servant?

Especially if Lan Sizhui is always busy training, and Wei Wuxian…he has his own issues to work through with Wei Wuxian.

“Do you want to be here?” Jiang Cheng finds himself asking.

Wen Ning must have been lost in thoughts of his own, because he tenses, startled. “What do you mean?”

“The Cloud Recesses.” He gestures around vaguely. “Where else?”

Wen Ning is slow to answer. “Yes. A-Yuan is here.”

A small bit of jealousy nips at Jiang Cheng, knowing that Wen Ning can live in the same place as the last member of his family. Jiang Cheng does not think he would answer differently himself.

“If you could go somewhere else, where would you go?”

“Tanzhou,” Wen Ning says without hesitation.

Tanzhou. The city south of Yunmeng with all the gardens. A quick glance at the array of herbs on the windowsill is enough to make it obvious that Wen Ning likes plants, but that doesn’t seem like a reason compelling enough for him to be so sure of his destination, as if he has thought about this question daily.

“Why there?”

“I heard that Song-daozhang is staying there for a while. I…I’d like to talk to him.” To talk to someone like me, is what goes unsaid.

A sinking feeling grips Jiang Cheng.

Song Lan would understand Wen Ning much better than Jiang Cheng ever could.

There are probably many others who could understand Wen Ning better. Who could help him heal. Who could give him something.

As soon as Jiang Cheng recognizes the thought in himself, he tries to stamp it away, but it persists. He shoves it down enough to continue speaking. “You should go to Tanzhou before Song Lan leaves.”

“But—"

“Why wouldn’t you?” Jiang Cheng scowls at him. “Don’t tell me you like this white-robed hellhole.”

“But A-Yuan…”

Jiang Cheng sighs. “He’ll be fine without you. He has Wei Wuxian and the entire Lan Clan to look after him.”

His own words nearly make him laugh with spite at himself. Who is he to speak like this? He still stalks A-Ling on night hunts, still worries about him every day, still feels like every moment with A-Ling is not enough, because one day he could be gone.

But a trip away from the Cloud Recesses would be good for Wen Ning. If he has thought so much about meeting Song Lan…he should go.

“It isn’t that far of a journey,” Jiang Cheng says. “You could come back to the Cloud Recesses whenever you’re finished.

Wen Ning tilts his head and stares into the water. “Maybe…maybe I’ll go, then.”

“Stop in Lotus Pier on your way there.”

Wen Ning looks up in shock.

It takes a moment for Jiang Cheng to realize what he said.

Fuck, fuck, fuck—

Heat rises to his face. He stands up, tries to put distance between himself and Wen Ning. He needs to cover for himself—needs an excuse—“Well, look at yourself! You can barely control your resentful energy! You think I’m going to let you pass through Yunmeng unsupervised?”

“I can—I can just travel south of Yunmeng—”

“I’m not letting you pass through the neighboring territories unsupervised either!”

“O-Okay.”

They freeze like that, Jiang Cheng blushing and clenching his fists like an idiot, and Wen Ning sitting on the ground and staring up at him with round eyes.

When Jiang Cheng finally gets his voice to work, it sounds unsure and creaky, like a rusted metal hinge. “Then you’ll come to Lotus Pier with me when I leave tomorrow morning.”

Wen Ning blinks. “Okay.”

“Alright.” Jiang Cheng takes a step back. “I’m—I’m going to my cabin now.”

“Okay.”

“Goodnight.”

“…Y-Yes.”

Jiang Cheng turns and walks up the path until he is out of Wen Ning’s sight, then races to his cabin. He doesn’t slow down until the door is shut behind him, and even then his heart is still pounding.

He mindlessly follows his nighttime routine in an attempt to calm his nerves. His muscles ache when he climbs into bed for another futile attempt at sleep. He has no idea what time it is. Sunrise could be in as soon as an hour, and then he will already be taking Wen Ning with him to Lotus Pier.

He is taking Wen Ning with him to Lotus Pier.

He flips onto his stomach and tries to sink into the mattress, hoping the pressure will stifle the bizarre tingling in his chest. Flips onto his back and rubs between his eyes.

What the hell did I just do?

* * *

Thanks for reading! If you enjoyed this chapter, you can be a supportive sibling like Jiang Yanli by visiting me on AO3!

Ch. 4 >

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guqin-and-flute · 4 years

Text

Are You Here to Stop Me? (Peony to Lotus!verse)

[First post/Setting of Peony to Lotus]

[Ao3 Series]

The sky was dark with night and the storm by the time they reached QiongQi Way, rain pelting down like arrows into their faces until they were left nearly gasping from the stinging cold. As Lan Wangji landed Bichen, Jin Guangyao splashed off into the ankle-height slurry of mud and water, sheet white and knees nearly buckling--probably from flying through a sky filled with lightning and ear shattering thunder as much as the height. Lan Wangji should have inquired as to his well being, but he couldn’t stop, couldn’t focus on anything but getting to the camp, finding Wei Ying, stopping him before he could do anything that would further ostracize him from the rest of the Cultivation World.

From him.

In any case, the smaller man gathered himself upright and simply followed him as they climbed up the path, squinting through the rain and stunning flash-bangs of brilliant light, then utter darkness. There were people already fleeing down the rocky embankment, covered in blood and mud, eyes white rimmed, faces terrified and that icy clench around Lan Wangji’s heart tightened. Deftly, he caught a gold-robed man in his middle with Bichen’s sheath, demanded, “What happened?”

“Someone came to their rescue!” He babbled, pointing back the way he had come. “He resurrected the dead to kill people!”

The storm crashed in a sick parallel to the horror that flashed its way through Lan Wangji, and Bichen’s ornamentation cut into his palm. Jin Guangyao muttered something beneath the deafening hiss of rain--a curse, an exclamation, something in disbelief--Lan Wangji didn’t know, for he was already moving, taking the path to Wei Ying in long, ground eating strides, blood pulsing in his ears for every step, for every thought that was just one word repeated--no, no, no, no. He didn’t know exactly where the camp was, but he didn’t need to. He just followed the trail of escaping people, frantic from animal panic. Running from a predator.

No. He musn’t think that. It couldn’t be too late to call him back. It couldn’t.

He stopped when he saw it, reached out to catch Jin Guangyao’s elbow when he nearly lost his footing to the thick mud--hulking, undulating shadows, moving down the path toward them, backlit in silver relief with every lightning flash through the sheets of pounding rain. The shadowy forms resolved themselves into horses, then people huddled on horses. A familiar, slim figure at their head, clad in black, burning in the night with a fierce purpose. It felt like fire just to look at him in such a state, eyes alight, face pale as death. Wei Ying. The Wens.

Surely if he had broken such a core rule, he should look it. He should look stained, should feel tainted to Lan Wangji’s trained senses--but for all that he was bright with rage and intent, he looked cold and bedraggled, sopping. And scared. Familiar as he ever was to him.

The horses stopped, dancing from foot to foot with anxiety and Wei Ying looked down at them, mouth tight, eyebrows pinched. “Lan Zhan. Jin-xiong. Are you here to stop me?”

“Wei Ying….” Lan Wangji’s breath caught, searching, aching for the words that were right, that could fix this, that could convince him to stay. And if there were no words, his limbs hummed with the tension to simply pull Wei Ying off his horse, to pin him to the ground, keep him until he saw sense--but he couldn’t make himself move. “Where are you going?” Away. You’re going away, aren’t you?

Jin Guangyao looked over at him sharply, then up at Wei Ying, face pinched and unreadable. Wei Ying’s hands tightened on the reins as he shook his head. “I have no idea. But the world is wide. There must be a place for us.”

Lan Wangji’s hands were numb, his stomach a void of cold. “You need to think again. If you go, it will be considered a rebellion against orthodoxy with no way back.”

Wei Ying’s face darkened and he demanded with the hint of an trapped, disbelieving smile, “Rebellion against orthodoxy? What kind of orthodoxy is that?”

Jin Guangyao took a step forward, his hands coming up in placation as he grimaced against the onslaught of the rain. “You may be right, but this isn’t the time for ideology--”

“Isn’t it? Isn’t this about right and wrong? Who has done what and why? The Jin Clan has done this, Jin Guangyao, Lan Zhan. They killed Wen Ning--they skewered him with a lure flag and left him to die in a field, alone and in pain and--” Wei Ying broke off as his horse gave a harried half trot to the side, spurred by his wild energy and the broken sob of a bedraggled older woman from the crowd. “They tortured them. Toyed with their lives, murdered so, so many. I don’t regret killing them.” He looked straight at Lan Wangji as he said it, face tight. “They deserved what they got. Payment in kind. It was justice, carried out by his own hand.”

“Wei Ying...they’ll hunt you.” Lan Wangji’s voice was low, the air squeezed from him, but Wei Ying heard it, because his chin raised, jaw growing hard.

Beside him, Jin Guangyao shot Lan Wangji a look that he didn’t parse beyond extreme displeasure before he lunged forward to latch 2 hands onto either side of the bridle of Wei Ying’s mount, holding the thing’s head as it tried to step around him, his face all at once earnest and pleading. “Wuxian, think about A-Li. What will she do if you leave? Jiang Wanyin? What will you do?”

“I don’t know,” Wei Ying snapped back, seeming locked between shaking him off and listening. “I don’t--”

“It doesn’t have to be this way. Take a moment. Take a breath. We can fix this.”

Wei Ying shook his head, jaw tightening as he sucked in a breath. “No. No, I….”

The horse tossed its head again, trying to shy away, and Jin Guangyao braced his feet in the mud, hauling it back down, insisting, “We can talk about this, Wuxian; what’s happened? What did you do?”

“Nothing I wouldn't do again. What should have been done long before this. I’m not going to leave them,” Wei Ying landed fiercely on this last. “I won’t.”

His expression smoothed into wide-eyed, placating understanding, Jin Guangyao shook his head. “No one says you must. What happened?”

Lan Wangji felt frozen in place as rain pounded down on his head, rushing down his back, his neck, spray invading each inhale. He didn’t want to hear because he knew. They knew already what he had done. He could see in the smattering of pale faces behind Wei Ying, one paler even than bone, laced with blood and black as only a fierce corpse puppet could be, dormant and propped on a horse. Wen Ning. Who he said had been killed.

Wei Ying has done it again, but not for war, not for defense. The night felt as if it was slipping away beneath his grasping fingertips, water over metal, no handholds. Uncle will find it unforgivable. He will be ostracized. He will be imprisoned.

It was wrong. He knew it was wrong.

But it was Wei Ying.

“I made Wen Ning a puppet. I killed them all. The overseers. I can’t...they are not going to forgive this and I don’t want them to. If this is their world, if this is what they’ve made of this peace, I don’t want any of it--”

Jin Guangyao hissed something under his breath, face hard, before he released one hand to reach up and grip Wei Ying’s knee, staring up at him. “Let us help. Let me help. Trust me.”

Something passed over Wei Ying’s face, then, a strange tangle of relief and panic and he looked at Lan Wangji with wide, scared eyes. Then at the huddled Wens, watching him with terrified awe. “I don’t….” he said again, quieter, with less bite to his tone.

“Wei Ying….” bled from Lan Wangji and the man looked back over to him again, this time, his face full of frozen grief.

Then, his gaze went down to Jin Guangyao, grief slowly inching into the fear of a child in the presence of an adult. Relinquishing control. “Jin-xiong, I don’t know what to do.” His voice was a choked whisper barely audible over the rain chatter.

“Then wait,” he insisted. “Just wait a moment and let me….” He trailed off, his mouth set, brow furrowed, eyes tracking back and forth in the nothingness of the mud.

Everyone flinched at the splitting crash of thunder and lighting right overhead and, for a moment, Jin Guangyao’s face curled into a snarl of frustration as the horse tried to half rear in its panic. Wei Ying waited, frozen and staring down at him as if he was an anchor in the sea. Lan Wangji stepped closer in a daze, staring at him, the urge to simply latch onto his ankle with an iron grip, ensure that he could not run, he could not leave--

Jin Guangyao sucked in a breath. “You need to come to Lotus Pier,” he said, finally and Wei Ying bristled.

“I told you, I’m not--!”

He was shaking his head, “We’re bringing them.”

“I...what?”

Lan Wangji tore his eyes away from Wei Ying to stare at Jin Guangyao, squinting through the rain running into his eyes, threatening to sink his waterlogged headband down his forehead. What?

“We have to go quickly; news will reach Koi Tower soon and my father will send people after you all, but if we reach Yunmeng, they have to address Jiang-zongzhu first before they take any action on his territory, if we send someone ahead to ensure Jiang disciples are waiting at the border to receive them.”

Lan Wangji forced himself to speak. “To what end?” Talking to Jin Guangyao was easier than trying to talk to Wei Ying, where the words were compressed, bottlenecked by their own foreign pressure to be released. Don’t leave me, don’t do this, don’t go.

“Hanguang-jun, these are not abnormal conditions for their prisoners to be kept in and if they reach them before we get out of Lanling, they will be slaughtered as escapees, not recaptured.”

“To what end are you bringing them back?”

The smile that Jin Guangyao flashed him through the rain was edged and slightly manic. “Distance. I don’t have a better idea, at present, than to get far enough away to think of one.” He raked his gaze back over the refugees, then stopped and stared. “Is that Wen Qing?” he raised his voice over the din as the sky released itself fully, pounding down with a deafening fury that blurred the scene to silver-gray darkness, smudging the outlines of everyone and everything.

Wei Ying looked where he pointed, what Lan Wangji could see of his face rigid with confusion and fearful hope as he shouted back. “It is. Why?”

Jin Guangyao stared into space, before he nodded slowly. “Alright. Alright. You have to go; now. Hanguang-jun!” He wheeled on Lan Wangji. “I need you to take me back to Koi Tower.”

[Part 2]

#And that's how it happened #CODE: Wen Rescue #JGY's got a plaaan #I had to write this before I put up other stuff because I am annoyingly chronological #There's gonna be a second part from JGY's perspective but I wanted to chuck this out here first #AU #Peony to Lotus #my fic #my stuff #yaoli #<--there is no overt yaoli besides JGY being WWX's brother in law in this one the cute stuff is for later #wangxian

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robininthelabyrinth · 4 years

Text

Three Gates - on ao3 (for content warnings check Ao3) - on tumblr: pt 1, pt 2, pt 3, pt 4, pt 5, pt 6, pt 7, pt 8, pt 9, pt 10, pt 11

- Chapter 12 -

The Nightless City was grand and glorious, as luxurious as Koi Tower and as tasteful as the Cloud Recesses, and Meng Yao would burn it all down in a heartbeat for the chance to return to the familiar sparse stone and metal of the Unclean Realm.

Wen Ruohan had forgiven him for murdering Wu Bixian and blowing his cover once Meng Yao had explained the circumstances, although he’d been displeased; Meng Yao had had to work his way back into his inner circle the hard way, inventing monstrous machines for him to use in his Fire Palace, where he played at treating torture the way other people viewed sport.

Meng Yao had once dreamed of torturing his enemies – initially defined as anyone who insulted his mother, but later expanded to include anyone who made a serious effort to harm Nie Mingjue and recently he had been considering an additional expansion to loop in the same for Lan Xichen – but now he realized that torture was boring and burdensome and messy, and a quick execution was clearly much more effective.

There was a lot less upkeep, for one.

A lot fewer tormented doctors as well – that poor Wen Qing would probably have never picked up her needles if she’d known this was where she was going to end up using them, that was for sure – and anyway, neither of his lovers would have approved so it was all a moot point anyway.

Possibly former lovers.

Not that they’d ever actually made it to the stage of being lovers, what with Lan Xichen’s sect rules and parental trauma, Meng Yao’s nightmares of the brothel, and Nie Mingjue’s experiences with Wen Ruohan…

Probably for the best, actually, given what Meng Yao now knew about Nie Mingjue – something that he was almost certain that Nie Mingjue did not know about himself.

A few months at Wen Ruohan’s side had certainly been enlightening on that front. As Meng Yao might’ve suspected, he treated even the people in his clan about the same as wooden furniture, useful to varying degrees but all ultimately disposable, and someone like Meng Yao, a talented retainer he’d stolen from another sect and who had no way out, made for amusing company.

Wen Ruohan had in fact heard the rumor of someone in the Nie sect being born as a yang furnace, very likely from Wu Bixian himself in an attempt to get rid of what he perceived to be a stain on the sect’s reputation, and he’d investigated, ultimately figuring out that the person in question was Nie Mingjue. A yang furnace, Meng Yao learned, was considerably rarer than a yin furnace, requiring the right horoscope and lucky (or unlucky) parentage, and was considered far more precious – people with that constitution would have an incredible talent for cultivation themselves, but would also be able to magnify, many times over, the cultivation or even cultivation potential of those with whom they engaged in dual cultivation.

The furnace’s consent in the matter was not required.

After discovering the truth, Wen Ruohan had apparently gone back and forth for some time in deciding whether to snatch him up immediately, training him up as a concubine reserved for the use of the Wen clan, but one of his more esoteric specialists had told him that the sort of intense cultivation techniques he had in mind would likely kill a child and, more importantly, that the positive effect on his own cultivation would be magnified if Nie Mingjue’s cultivation were higher when he began.

“Sect Leader Wen’s patience is admirable,” Meng Yao said with the sort of smile he’d worn when talking to the brothel owner that used to beat his mother on a regular basis just so she’d ‘remember her place’. “If only I had known..! I am not so certain I could resist such a temptation for years on end.”

Wen Ruohan laughed. “Well, I must admit I gave it a half-hearted effort a few times. The doctors did say that a few times early on wouldn’t hurt.”

By hurt he meant damage to Nie Mingjue’s ability to cultivate, or to cultivate with others, not to the lifetime of nightmares and terror that Nie Mingjue suffered as a result of his unrelenting pursuit.

“Though on that subject,” Wen Ruohan continued, a faint smile on his face, “perhaps you’d like to take a look at the room I’ve prepared for him, and let me know if you have any suggestions – anything you think he’d enjoy for the times when he’s not – in service.”

“Of course, Sect Leader Wen.”

“Naturally, if you also have any proposals regarding any of your marvelous machines…”

“Naturally, Sect Leader Wen.”

“Good,” Wen Ruohan praised. “If you please me well enough, perhaps I’ll let you take a turn once I’m done with him.”

He had other requests, too, which were even less savory – mostly storytelling, Meng Yao casting his mind back to his days at the brothel and even in desperation some of the artwork Nie Huaisang insisted on collecting to describe all sorts of scenarios for Wen Ruohan’s evident enjoyment.

Meng Yao took a bath as often as he could plausibly manage it, and still felt unclean.

(Chiwen, hidden away as best as he could in the room he’d been assigned because a Nie saber did not voluntarily enter Wen hands, screamed in his head. He hated everything about what they were doing.)

It was amazing, Meng Yao thought, how far self-deception could go: he had thought, once, that he would be able to distract and dissuade Wen Ruohan without losing anything along the way, that he could sell himself without counting the cost, and at the last he realized that his mother had been right about warning him not to get used to making deals with bad men.

Wu Bixian, too. He had thought that Wen Ruohan’s goal was domination of the cultivation world, his pursuit of Nie Mingjue only a means to get there or at best a distraction, when in fact Wen Ruohan wanted to be a god, to break through the barrier of cultivation and rise up to the heavens, and he believed that Nie Mingjue could get him there.

And yet Wen Ruohan, too, was deceived – he thought that everything in the world was meaningless grist to that great ambition’s mill, thought that everything he did was for power and power only. And yet there was the great care and attention with which he had filled the prison room in the Nightless City with all the things Nie Mingjue liked, things that he’d figured out from casual mentions in discussion conferences, the fascination in his eyes when Meng Yao told him stories that were sometimes so very boring and mundane, the casual way he dismissed even his own heir’s death at Nie Mingjue’s hands…

Perhaps the interest had been merely practical once, but it certainly was no longer.

At least the war was going well.

Not much else was.

His letters with Wen Ruohan had been belatedly discovered and publicized, his betrayal becoming widely known – Wen Ruohan deliberately cutting off Meng Yao’s route of return, no doubt. The fact that it was a good move, and one Meng Yao would have done if he were in his place, did not make it any easier to swallow.

He had always assumed he would be there to explain the letters to Nie Mingjue.

He’d said so many cruel things in those letters over the years, hurtful things, things he didn’t believe but thought that Wen Ruohan would like to hear – things about Lao Nie, about Nie Mingjue, about Baxia, about Nie Huaisang…disdainful, wretched things, lies that had flowed so easily out of his brush when he’d thought it was all a game.

He didn’t want to think about Nie Mingjue hearing them – seeing them – reading them –

He didn’t want Nie Mingjue to think that was how he really felt.

Some days, in the middle of the night in the too-brightly-lit core of the Nightless City, Meng Yao put his head in his hands and felt the prickle of tears in his eyes. He should have known better, he thought. He shouldn’t have tried to take it all on his own shoulders; he shouldn’t have assumed he’d be able to explain, that he could swear on Chiwen that his motives were pure and that all would be easily forgiven; he should have told Nie Mingjue what he was doing early on so that it would not come to him as a surprise –

He should not have repeated his mother’s mistake from all those years ago.

(“They don’t trust us!” Lao Nie had shouted, his voice still audible behind those stone walls, and Nie Mingjue had gone silent, the words hitting their mark and leaving a wound, before he’d started arguing once again.)

Meng Yao had originally planned on having both Nie Mingjue and Lan Xichen act as his contacts during the war, but instead for his sins he got stone-faced Lan Wangji and, eventually, red-eyed Wei Wuxian, who was clearly still deeply shaken by the near-destruction of the Lotus Pier and how close he had come to losing everyone he loved.

(Meng Yao killed time in between boring torture, nauseating dinners with Wen Ruohan, and interacting with his two contacts in trying to figure out how to get said contacts to confess their obvious attraction to each other without ever actually telling them to their face that they were being idiots.

How anyone had ever compared him to Wei Wuxian – citing their status as fatherless children being raised by sect leaders alongside their heirs – he honestly did not know; the boy had a genius for cultivating and the arrogance to go with it, but simply no common sense whatsoever. Meng Yao was his exact opposite.)

They had both briefly been guests of the Wen sect, brought in by the same invitation that had been forcefully extended to Nie Huaisang; once they were there, they were given to Wen Chao to lead and reshape. Obviously that went about as badly as anyone could imagine, Wen Chao being what he was.

Nie Huaisang had been there too, of course, and Meng Yao hadn’t dared go anywhere near him. It wasn’t that he doubted his own acting abilities, or Nie Huaisang’s for that matter, but rather his own perception. Nie Huaisang was a very good liar, and if Meng Yao got it into his head that his own blood brother didn’t believe him, he might very well fall apart.

So he didn’t go.

That turned out to be a mistake.

Apparently, not showing up was seen as some sort – admission of guilt, perhaps, because the second Nie Huaisang returned to the Unclean Realm, things started going very badly indeed. Many of his old contacts stopped talking to him or even disappeared, even the ones he would have sworn Nie Huaisang had no knowledge of, and he didn’t even want to think about how many of his plans ran into obstacles that had nothing to do with luck and had everything to do with Nie Huaisang’s Nie temper.

Meng Yao only hoped that the cause of the temper tantrum was his failure to apologize for not letting Nie Huaisang properly into his schemes, and not that Nie Huaisang thought –

Surely Nie Huaisang would have said something to Wei Wuxian or Lan Wangji if he didn’t believe Meng Yao to be trustworthy? They were peers, had been schoolmates, and a few months together was more than enough time for Nie Huaisang to get the measure of them – he had to know what they were doing on his behalf, surely, and he hadn’t stopped them, so…

Sometimes Meng Yao thought that his circular rationalizations would drive him mad, long before anything else about this horrible life of his did.

(He also thought, sometimes, about how his mother would feel – how she did feel – about what he was doing, and whether she approved or not. He usually tried to stop thinking about it as soon as possible.)

At any rate, the sect heirs had all escaped after some unfortunate encounter with a corrupted Xuanwu that made Meng Yao twitch in fear when he belatedly learned about it, and soon after that the war began in earnest.

The Nie sect took Heijian, as had always been the plan; the Wen sect’s cultivators threw themselves against their iron wall without any success and even some heavy losses, especially whenever Nie Mingjue himself there to lead battles. The Lan sect was scattered after the burning of the Cloud Recesses, but Lan Wangji’s early warning had preserved more of their lives than might have otherwise been accounted for – the attack on the Lotus Pier had been similarly blunted through timely advice, although Jiang Fengmian’s stubborn refusal to take immediate action had resulted in injuries, some rather serious.

Two major attacks, in under a year – the rest of the cultivation world was alarmed. A sizeable number chosen to give in at once, while others opted to join the opposing forces, and war was everywhere.

Meng Yao had hoped that his information would be enough to tip the balance, that he could play the same role he’d played against Wen Ruohan in the past – acting as an interruption, but never quite tipping his hand. Never pushing for the real reward, taking the big risk…

The war dragged on.

There were some close calls – some difficult battles. People were dying on both sides. Several times there were reports of terrible injury to key people; the death of someone he loved was only a matter of time.

It seemed that he didn’t have a choice but to take more dramatic action.

Evil, Chiwen screamed in his mind, just as he had every day since Meng Yao had arrived at this horrible place. Kill it!

Meng Yao wished it was so easy.

“Do you mind if I borrow your brother?” he asked Wen Qing, who glared at him but accepted the jar of wine he offered her. “Just for a while.”

“None of your machines,” she said at once. He couldn’t blame her.

“No machines,” he agreed. “I need a courier.”

She paused, then put the wine down. “Out of the Nightless City? Safely?”

He smiled.

Wen Ning was delighted to see Wei Wuxian, and the feeling was decidedly mutual – Meng Yao had picked Wen Ning in part because of the extraordinary initiative he had taken at the Lotus Pier, initiative that made the entire Jiang clan quite fond of him – and Wei Wuxian happily agreed to smuggle Wen Ning out of Qishan to deliver a private message.

“Make sure he gets to Lan Xichen,” Meng Yao instructed. “A message can be compromised or lost – a person, not so easily.”

“I’ll do my best,” Wei Wuxian said, and almost looked approving, like he thought that Meng Yao was doing this to save Wen Ning from the worst of the war.

He had no idea what Meng Yao was doing.

“Wei Wuxian,” Meng Yao said when they were about to leave. “What does Lan Xichen say about me?”

A blink, there and gone. “He fears for your safety, and hopes you are well.”

“And – Nie Mingjue?”

He didn’t bother asking about Nie Huaisang. If his brother didn’t want someone to know how he felt, no one would ever have the slightest clue.

Wei Wuxian hesitated, and Meng Yao waited, and in the end Wei Wuxian finally said, “I don’t think I’ve heard him say anything about you at all.”

Meng Yao nodded. It was no less than he’d expected, for all that it felt as if his heart were shattering. “Thank you. Please go.”

Wei Wuxian would take Wen Ning to Lan Xichen, and Lan Xichen would believe the words of a person more than he believed a letter – it was his nature to do so, especially when that person was as serious and earnest as Wen Ning, who seemed so trustworthy and who would never knowingly tell a lie.

But a person who would never knowingly tell a lie could still be made to carry one, and so Lan Xichen would listen to Wen Ning, and he would take what Wen Ning told him to Nie Mingjue, and Nie Mingjue – who might have questioned information brought by Wen Ning but who would never question Lan Xichen, the way he had previously never questioned Meng Yao – Nie Mingjue would listen, and believe, and act on that belief.

He would go to Yangquang –

And Wen Ruohan would be waiting for him.

Sometimes Meng Yao hated himself.

#mdzs #meng yao #jin guangyao #wen ruohan #wei wuxian #wen qing #wen ning #my fic #my fics #three gates

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songofclarity · 3 years

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Your tags on that one gif set with Lan Xichen and Nie Mingjue in Wen Ruohan's throne room are so good, and also they made me want to reread that chapter (I have finished the book by now! well, all but a few of the extra chapters) to refresh my memory as to how that scene went in the book.

A very belated thank you! I’ve read Nie MingJue’s empathy chapters a ridiculous amount of times and it’s always time well spent, so I definitely encourage it if you haven’t gone back to reread it already!

I had to go take a look at what I wrote in the tags, which I’ll link in the sources for reference sake, but:

#the first and only time we see lxc defend jgy to nmj is this scene #set in the place where jgy hosted nmj's torture #we can't even see nmj's face at this angle but #he's just swaying like he can barely hold himself up #and his hair is all out of sorts #i desperately cling to the novel version #where lxc is supporting him the whole time #where lxc won't let nmj kill jgy #bc nmj was going to kill himself as well #just in case jgy really was innocent #nmj calling jgy's bluff #but lxc stops it all #bc lxc wants to save lives if there isn't hard proof against them #oh cql how cruel of you to wreck havoc on nmj and lxc's relationship like this...

Wow, this scene does make me feel things! Although I do side-eye a lot of what CQL did with Lan XIChen’s character and motivations lol I’m just going to pull part of the scene from the novel since we’re here~ Or that I’m here and there is no one to stop me...

(Meng Yao,) "ChiFeng-Zun!!! Don't you understand that if I didn't kill [the Nie cultivators held captive alongside you], you'd be the one who die then?!!"

This was actually the same as saying, 'I'm the one who saved your life so you can't kill me or else it'd be immoral.' However, Jin GuangYao was indeed worthy of his reputation. The same meaning but a different wording, and he was able to create a contained sense of frustration and a reserved sense of sorrow. As he had expected, Nie MingJue's movement halted. Veins stood out under his forehead.

Having paused for a while, [Nie MingJue] clenched the hilt of his saber and shouted, "Very well! I'll kill myself after I kill you!"

So Meng Yao is very much being manipulative here in the face of Nie MingJue having just woken up from a traumatic, near-death experience being carried by someone who was an eager contributor of said traumatic, near-death experience. A chase scene ensues but Nie MingJue is too weak to do much more than be menacing. Meng Yao does have a cut on his arm by the time Lan XiChen arrives, but Wei WuXian’s narration consistently states Meng Yao dodged and ran, so who knows how he got it or (conspiracy theory!) he gave it to himself, knowing Lan XiChen would arrive.

Amid all the action, a surprised voice suddenly called out, "MingJue-xiong!"

A figure dressed in clean, white robes darted out of the forest. Meng Yao looked as if he had just seen a god from Heaven. He quickly scrambled over and hid behind the person's back, "ZeWu-Jun!!! ZeWu-Jun!!!"

Nie MingJue was in the middle of his rage. He didn't even have the chance to ask why Lan XiChen was there as he shouted, "XiChen, move!"

Baxia's strikes were so menacing that Shuoyue had to unsheath. Lan XiChen stopped him, half to support his figure and half to block his attacks, "MingJue-xiong, calm down! Why bother?"

Nie MingJue, "Why don't you ask what he did?!"

Lan XiChen turned around to look at Meng Yao... (ERS, ch. 49)

“A god from Heaven,” Lan XiChen is described, who goes right to Nie MingJue’s side. It’s Nie MingJue he’s worried for, it’s Nie MingJue he keeps from falling. Nie MingJue is covered in blood, he’s injured, he’s raging -- Nie MingJue is the one who needs help and support, and Lan XiChen doesn’t even hesitate to get right in there and provide it. People are later shown fearful and respectful of Nie MingJue to such a degree that they won’t throw him flowers to him at a welcoming ceremony for fear of provoking his anger, but Lan XiChen always shows absolute faith that Nie MIngJue would never harm him even when Baxia is unleashed.

So although I love CQL having Nie MingJue wake up on Lan XiChen’s lap in the Sun Palace, it still pales in comparison to Lan XiChen racing forward without care for his own safety in order to grab onto Nie MingJue. Nie MingJue who faced total defeat at Yangquan. Nie MingJue who was captured by Wen RuoHan. Nie MingJue who is bloodied and injured and was very likely thought as good as dead.

And although the argument might also be made that Lan XiChen was throwing himself into danger to save Meng Yao, I don’t see it considering Lan XiChen’s focus is always on Nie MingJue. Here at Nightless City, at the stairs of Koi Tower, and at the Tournament in Qinghe, Lan XiChen stays with Nie MingJue with the intention of talking him down. Nie MingJue’s anger is a double-edged sword. He might kill Meng Yao, yes, but his risk of qi deviating will kill him, too. I think of this in the perspective of a healthcare professional: you stay with the patient when they are having a mental crisis. It gives them stability and grounding and safety, which is what Lan XiChen consistently offers--and which Meng Yao freely takes by hiding behind him. Nie MingJue is the one who needs immediate help, not Meng Yao. And that’s how Meng Yao gets away with all his nonsense. Lan XiChen is so focused on Nie MingJue, on talking him back from the ledge, on making sure he gets the help he needs, that he doesn’t see Meng Yao’s slight of hand. He doesn’t see what Nie MingJue sees with Meng Yao cowering behind him.

But even when Nie MingJue and Lan XiChen argue about Meng Yao in the novel, they are never on opposite sides. They present to each other what they know and what they’ve seen. They both listen and they both get opportunities to speak until understanding occurs. This is a very healthy relationship! At least fundamentally. When Nie MingJue tells Lan XiChen to ask Meng Yao what he’s done, Lan XiChen doesn’t question him or doubt him, but instead turns to do so. Meng Yao does not get a free pass, but he uses silence to get others to speak for him. He is still held accountable, but it just so happens the story he has spun is quite convincing.

And although Lan XiChen provides Meng Yao a defense, the defense is consistently this: Meng Yao’s actions were done to help Nie MingJue. While we know that is a lie, that Nie MingJue was little more than Meng Yao’s means to an end, the understanding Lan XiChen has been led to believe is sound. Lan XiChen as well says that he wouldn’t be there to help Nie MingJue without Meng Yao having told him where to go. Thus, coming from Lan XiChen’s mouth, Nie MingJue is led to believe the tale as well.

It’s just all about the inherent love and trust in Nie MingJue and Lan XiChen’s relationship! That even when they argue, there is still love, and after they fight, there is still love. At no point does their relationship ever falter. At no point do they doubt one another. And that’s beautiful.

On another note, Meng Yao immediately going to hide behind Lan XIChen is so reminiscent of how Nie HuaiSang behaves in the future. The Nie HuaiSang we know prior to Nie MingJue’s death is actually quite bold! He yells at Nie MingJue and kicks his saber and storms out! Who else has yelled at Nie MingJue!? Nobody! So Nie HuaiSang literally used Meng Yao's pitiful act as his cover for his revenge scheme and I love it.

#asked from above #ajax-daughter-of-telamon #mdzs thoughts #ty for the ask i know it's taken me awhile!#catching up on asks~#feeling things about the faves~#making those feels everyone else's problem~#life is good lol #nielan #jgy vs nmj

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sheadre · 3 years

Text

Aurora Borealis (Jiang Cheng x Reader) Part 6

Summary: Zhu Ran'En (Reader) the imperial princess, was sent into exile for a crime she did not commit. Meeting Jiang Wanyin, the Yunmeng Jiang sect’s leader was not just a chance meeting. Their fates were written in the stars however, her relations to the royal family will never let her live in peace. How will she manage to save the kingdom while trying to keep Jiang Wanyin away from the snakes of the royal family?

Word count: 2538

Previous chapter - Series Masterlist

Jiang Wanyin stood in front of the closed doors of the infirmary. His back tense, posture rigid as he stood there with his arms crossed in front of his chest. He stood like a statue ever since the healers brought the princess inside. The dark shadows over his handsome face reminded Wei Wuxian of the thunder storms over the sea. The Yiling Patriarch was worried for Zhu Ran’En as well but knew that he needed to stay composed.

No one explained to him how the princess ended up in the middle of the battlefield but decided to wait with his questions. As Wei Wuxian remembered of the plans, the princess should’ve stayed behind to not draw attention to herself. Hanguang-Jun slid his hand onto his lower back without others noticing it, making Wei Ying turn to his lover with a reassuring small smile.

“It will be alright, Lan Zhan” he said more for his own reassurance. His lover only nodded quietly. Both of them grew fond of the princess as she brought a new dynamic into their lives. He enjoyed her company compared to the strict rules in Gusu. She was mischievous and playful, always ready for some light teasing when Jiang Cheng was around.

“How will anything be alright, Wei Wuxian?! Nothing will be alright!” Jiang Cheng growled angrily. “She shouldn’t have been a part of the plan, she should’ve stayed inside-“

“But she didn’t” came the voice of Xiao Pei from behind them. Wei Wuxian remembered how Zhu Ran’En described the general and called him Xiao Pei but his real name was Pei Xiu. Wei Ying heard people talk about the general because of his grand achievements on the battlefield. The man was quite handsome, tall and regal especially wearing the fine clothes of a high official. His eyes looked at Jiang Cheng like he wanted to run his sword through the sect leader’s chest. “For the time being I decided to not ask who is to blame for her injuries, but once she recovered, I will find the one who hurt the imperial princess.”

“General Pei” Wei Wuxian quickly greeted the man politely bowing to him. His smile was far from genuine but held no malice. Yet. He couldn’t help but feel that something was off about the general. “The healers said that the Princess will soon gain consciousness.”

“I would say that it is nice to meet you, Mo gongzi, but I would have to lie then” Xiao Pei replied coldly and walked past him without giving him a second glance. With his reputation, Wei Wuxian wasn’t surprised that another person treated him this coldly. Most people thought it was disgusting and unbefitting to have a lover from the same gender. Though, he was surprised the general knew his name – or rather the true owner’s name of the body he was in – without him introducing himself.

“General Pei, you cannot just go in there” Jiang Cheng spoke up when the man tried to barge into the room where Ran’En was being treated. Wanyin was clearly shaken up and worried, Xiao Pei only added oil to the fire with walking around Yunmeng like he owned the place. Wei Wuxian wasn’t really surprised, the man was royalty with him being the emperor’s brother’s grandson. No one used the title prince when they were talking about him though, Wei Ying having no idea why.

“You may be the sect leader of the Yunmeng Jiang sect but you have no authority over me, Jiang Wanyin” the man hissed out before turning back to the door and walking in closing the door in their faces. Jiang Cheng seemed to be about to burst into the room and drag the general’s ass out, however, Wei Wuxian decided to interject before the general would behead his brother for insolence.

“A-Cheng! Come, come! You cannot do much here right now, let’s wait for the princess to wake up!” Wei Ying grabbed his brother’s arm and pulled him over to another corridor. Wanyin pulled his arm out of his hold when they were far enough and hit the wall angrily. Disciples and servants ducked back to other corridors and rooms when they saw how irked their chief was.

“This is all my fault” Jiang Cheng gritted out as he leaned forward. Wei Wuxian knew how his brother was blaming himself over her highness’ injury but it made his heart not only sink with pity but fill with hope for his brother. Jiang Cheng deserved to be happy and he knew that the princess was the perfect match for his brother.

“That arrow was not fired by you, Jiang Cheng” Wei Ying protested.

“Could’ve been as well fired by me! She insisted on helping us making me let her run into the middle of the battlefield just because she knows some tricks! I sent her into danger! I shouldn’t have let her-“

“She knew what she was doing” Hanguang-Jun spoke up suddenly. “Ran’En was ready to take that risk.”

Wei Ying looked at his lover a little surprised by how casually Lan Zhan was talking about the princess, using only her first name. He noted to himself to question the mighty Hanguang-Jun about that later.

“By the way, when were you two planning on telling us about the change of plans?” Wei Ying crossed his arms in front of his chest. Jiang Cheng sighed tiredly averting his gaze from both. For a few minutes, the Yiling Patriarch thought his brother would stay silent when he finally spoke up telling them about all of it. His eyes widened in shock at what the princess agreed to. He read notes about the dark dragon back in Gusu’s library. It was a legend or supposed to be. The legends say that if the dark dragon emerges, the world is in great danger. Then suddenly, a servant approached the three of them with her head bowed and back hunched slightly.

“Sect leader, the princess is awake and asked for the three of you” she bowed to them but by the time she raised back up, they were nowhere to be seen.

Your PoV.

You woke up slowly, head fuzzy and chest hurting but you knew you were no longer in danger. The smell of medicine and clean sheets indicated that you were in the infirmary. You blinked a few times to clear your vision and gasped as you accidentally moved your torso making the wound hurt. You’ve only been hurt like this once when there was an assassination going wrong and you were in the way of the assassin.

“Ran’En!” a familiar male voice called you worry lacing his words as he spoke right next to you. “I was so worried, Ran’En…”

“Wanyin… where is Wanyin?” you asked weakly. You had to know what happened, you had to know if you were successful. The hand holding yours squeezed your fingers tightly at your request.

“It is me, Pei Xiu” your old friend spoke softly though his tone was restrained like he was holding back his emotions whatever they were. You turned your head to him as carefully as possible and smiled at him weakly.

“Xiao Pei” you greeted him. “I was worried that Lili wouldn’t reach you in time.”

“I came as fast as I could” Pei Xiu replied but you could easily tell that something was off about his expression after your mention of Lili. “I have much to tell you about the palace-“

“Where is she? Did she come back with you?!” you asked forcing yourself to sit up as you demanded an answer from the general. Your heart was beating in your chest loudly as your worry grew with every minute. Pei Xiu lowered his gaze from your (e/c) eyes making your heart clench in pain.

“She was caught by the Second Prince’ personal guard, Cao BaiXian after she reached me. Before he could get to torture her, she… she committed suicide.”

Silence fell on the two of you as you struggled to keep breathing. Tears ran down your cheeks as you sat there feeling useless. You promised to protect her, you promised to give her a good life, safety. It felt like an endless line of people you grew close to will inevitably fall to their death because of you. You were the reason she’s dead and the world can only blame you for her death.

You didn’t even register Xiao Pei’s strong arms circling your form, pulling you tightly against his chest. His familiar scent made your heart ache even more. You missed the simple days back when you were a child, when you still had your mother, when you had the time of your life hiding from the maids and servants who tried to chase you down and make you return to the classes you hated. Xiao Pei was the only one who treated you like a friend back then.

“Tell me what happened in the imperial palace since I left? Is it bad? Can we do anything?” you asked after a long silence. Your own voice sounded to you lifeless and dull, just like how you were feeling.

“Many things happened though I managed to keep Crown Prince safe but our days are shortening in number” he started with his eyebrows furrowed. After your friend told you everything there was to tell, you nodded silently.

“Xiao Pei… I need some rest” you spoke softly and patted his hand over yours. “I will see you once the healers let me out of here. Until then, please rest well and take care of Wanyin.”

“Wanyin? You never mentioned in your letters that you got on first name basis with the sect leader…” Xiao Pei’s tone was strange but you just chuckled weakly and shook your head.

“I like to tease him with acting like we’re familiar, it is amusing to see his dumbfounded face” you replied suspicious of your friend’s behavior. You noticed his intentions back in the palace but due to the two of you being blood related even if not closely, you still felt off about it. Not repulsed or disgusted but it didn’t feel right. You never encouraged his feelings and never called him out on it. “I will be fine, don’t you worry!”

You smiled at him trying to tell him that your conversation was over. Xiao Pei sighed and nodded leaving you alone. A minute later, a servant girl entered the room with new bandages and warm water to wash your wound and redress it. Once she finished, you grabbed her wrist drawing her attention to yourself.

“Could you please ask the sect leader to visit me? It is important” you smiled at her gently and let her go when she nodded. Her form slipped out between the doors and disappeared from your sight. You closed your eyes trying to relax some even though the feeling of dread. Something was off about your old friend, something made the hair on the back of your neck stand.

Were you strong enough to withstand the fight? Were you enough to stop the demise of the kingdom? No… none of that. You had to stand strong, you had to fight and never give up. You were trusted with this power for a reason. You got this power because of the Heavens finding you capable of solving the problem.

“Ran’En!” his voice interrupted your thoughts. His familiar voice sounded worried as the sect leader burst through the doors. You turned to Wanyin as much as you could and smiled at him gently.

“I’m here, Wanyin” you said quietly reaching out for his hand. Jiang Wanyin knelt down next to your bed, looking at you like you were a miracle. You wanted to be reckless, you wanted to be the little girl who died the night your mother was killed, the one who just wanted to live happily and find love. You wanted to grab his cheeks and pull him into a kiss, a promise of love and trust. Instead, you squeezed his hand reassuringly. “I’m here.”

“I was so worried about you, your highness” Jiang Wanyin said bowing his head. Your eyebrows furrowed and quickly reaching under his chin, you lifted his face so you could look him in the eyes.

“None of it was your fault, Wanyin” you said firmly.

“You wouldn’t be injured if I wouldn’t have let you-“

“Stop being like that! You’ve done nothing wrong! I wanted to help and did just that! I am quite proud of the fact that half of the enemy’s army was eradicated by just me!” you huffed as you clicked your tongue.

“Ah, so your highness is fine enough to boast about her achievements already!” Wei Wuxian quipped playfully making you chuckle mirthfully.

“Wouldn’t you do the same, Wei gongzi?” you teased back with a grin but then sighed heavily as a frown appeared on your features. “Though I called for you because of another reason. The first part of the plan is over now that the rebellious generals are captured. We have to execute the next part.”

“Are you ready to be a national hero, A-Cheng?” the Yiling Patriarch asked his brother but all of you knew that even though his words were playful, his tone was not. You could tell he was worried for the sect leader just like you. You were throwing Jiang Wanyin to the wolves with this plan but you needed to get back to the palace.

“Have you started spreading the rumors? We need to gain Wanyin a lot of fame by the time Xiao Pei would get back to the Imperial Palace. We need the emperor to hear about the brave and heroic Jiang Wanyin” you turned to Wei Wuxian who nodded but haven’t failed to notice how red the sect leader’s ears were becoming.

“When will your maid arrive back?” the Yiling Patriarch asked curious however, at the sight of your pained expression that oozed regret, he closed his mouth and looked to Lan Wangji who up until now stood silently further behind.

“She was killed after she gave my letter to Xiao Pei” you replied with your hands clenched into fists. “However… I have no idea why but have a strange feeling about it.”

The men stayed silent making you uneasy. Were they suspicious about your old friend? Could they feel the same strange feeling about him? You sighed tiredly which immediately drew their attention, alerting them about your state and so they quickly left you alone to rest. Before Jiang Cheng could stand up, you grabbed his hand making him look back at you.

“Never let your guard down, Wanyin” you said. “Once we arrive to the Imperial Palace, you will have to manage on your own for most of the time.”

“Mnn…” the sect leader nodded and left the room. You had to wait patiently for your time for now. Even if you were suspicious about Xiao Pei’s words and actions, you had to not act rashly. Every word, every action, every expression, you had to control from now on until the second prince and your cousin couldn’t do anything else but die or flee.

To be continued…

#romance #fluff #mo dao zu shi #the untamed #jiang wanyin #jiang cheng #jiang cheng x reader #wei wuxian #lan wangji #wangxian

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hamliet · 4 years

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Hey there! I’d like to ask something, if you’re ok with that. In mdzs, a lot of people say that despite JC being so antagonistic towards WWX, he still loves him and misses him. I don’t see how, his actions in any version of the story say the exact opposite to me. Maybe one needs to look between the lines to see it, but I’m horrible at reading others, so if I may bother you and ask what your thoughts are on the subject?

Hey! You are always welcome to ask me questions about MDZS. Especially while we’re all trapped inside.

So I will say I do think Jiang Cheng does indeed love and miss Wei Wuxian. I also think the fandom has a tendency to wipe away Jiang Cheng’s extremely serious flaws (especially in comparison to, say, how they treat Jin Guangyao’s flaws in comparison). Jiang Cheng is very much a foil for Jin Guangyao and for Madame Yu, Wei Wuxian, and Jin Ling (as well as Su She, but that’s perhaps for another meta).

Jiang Cheng’s fundamental defense mechanism is projection. We know already that he is insecure–the way his father treated him is horrible. Madame Yu, in turn, was very clearly projecting her own insecurities onto her son:

Jiang Cheng was stuck between his father and his mother. After a moment of hesitation, he moved to his mother’s side. Holding his shoulders, Madam Yu pushed him forward for Jiang FengMian to see, “Sect Leader Jiang, it seems that some things I have to say. Look carefully—this, is your own son, the future head of Lotus Pier. Even if you frown upon him just because I was the one who bore him, his surname is still Jiang! … I don’t believe for one second that you haven’t heard of how the outside people gossips, that Sect Leader Jiang has still not moved on from a certain Sanren though so many years have passed, regarding the son of his old friend as a son of his own; they’re speculating if Wei Ying is your…”

She’s really asking: I’m here, so why don’t you care about me? Do you really prefer a dead Cangse Sanren to me? But the tragic irony is that the way in which she asks this question only pushes Jiang Fengmian away. And yet, she did love him, which Jiang Fengmian realizes when, in the end, he finds out Madame Yu had taught Zidian to obey his command as well as hers. Zidian is a symbol of her pride and heritage.

Let’s also look at MXTX’s description of Jiang Cheng’s ideal woman. While it’s not in the novel and is extra material, it’s a perfect example of projection:

naturally beautiful, graceful and obedient, hard-working and thrifty, coming from a respected family, cultivation level not too high, personality not too strong, not too talkative, voice not too loud and must treat Jin Ling nicely.

Is he looking for a wife, or is he looking for Shijie to mother Jin Ling? Because he’s 100% describing Jiang Yanli.

Jiang Cheng does exactly what his mother did to him to Wei Wuxian. He projects his own insecurities, the very ones Madame Yu identified (great job mothering there), onto Wei Wuxian. Why does he hate Wei Wuxian? He hates Wei Wuxian for killing Shijie, when it was Shijie’s own choice to sacrifice herself, and Jiang Cheng then rendered her last sacrifice moot by killing his shixiong. So does Jiang Cheng hate Wei Wuxian, or does he hate himself for killing his sibling in a moment of rage?

It goes deeper, though. Because we see that Jiang Cheng’s fundamental issue is that he hates himself, because he is not as good at cultivation nor as strong as Wei Wuxian, and his father doesn’t love him as much as he loves Wei Wuxian. A child’s mind is going to connect that to “if I’m stronger, Dad will love me.” Jiang Cheng never grew out of this mindset. But what is strength to Jiang Cheng?

It’s protecting the people he loves. So Shijie’s death? He blames himself. One of Jiang Cheng’s most vulnerable moments is when he begs Wei Wuxian to turn away from Yiling and the Wens, because “I can’t protect you.” He wants to protect Wei Wuxian because he couldn’t protect his parents, yet he wants to protect himself more. It’s tragic. What Jin Guangyao said to Jiang Cheng in the temple is true, though of course, it’s not so simple as to be Jiang Cheng’s fault solely. But his insecurities did play a role and were indeed exploited by a cruel, calculating society:

“… Back then, the LanlingJin Sect, the QingheNie Sect, and the GusuLan Sect had already finished fighting over the biggest share. The rest could only get some small shrimps. You, on the other hand, had just rebuilt Lotus Pier and behind you was the YiLing Patriarch, Wei WuXian, the danger of whom was immeasurable. Do you think the other sects would like to see a young sect leader who was so advantaged? Luckily, you didn’t seem to be on good terms with your shixiong, and since everyone thought there was an opportunity, of course they’d add fuels to your fire if they could. No matter what, to weaken the YunmengJiang Sect was to strengthen themselves. Sect Leader Jiang, if only your attitude towards your shixiong was just a bit better, showing everyone that your bond was too strong to be broken for them to have a chance, or if you exhibited just a bit more tolerance after what happened, things wouldn’t have become what they were. Oh, speaking of it, you were also a main force of the siege at Burial Mound…”

Jin Guangyao isn’t wrong here, and unlike Jiang Cheng, he’s aware that society sucks but tries to join it anyways. Jiang Cheng grew up privileged despite his sad home life, and therefore never examined whether society was fair or not (as is reinforced by the early conversation Jiang Cheng and Wei Wuxian have about Jin Guangyao, in which Wei Wuxian expresses that he likes Jin Guangyao and Jiang Cheng says that, as the son of a whore, Jin Guangyao will only be able to climb so far, yet expresses no deeper concern about this). Jin Guangyao’s tragedy was trying to join society in an effort to prove himself to his father, and Jiang Cheng’s tragedy was not examining himself and his role in society in an effort to prove himself to his father as well, both fathers of whom would be better off ignored. Jiang Cheng did rebuild Lotus Pier, but Wei Wuxian learns that the local people are terrified of Jiang Cheng and hate him, while Jin Guangyao actually did protect the common people, yet Jiang Cheng still has a chance to redeem himself in the end and Jin Guangyao does not, which can be chalked up in great part due to privilege.

This isn’t to argue Jiang Cheng is worse than Jin Guangyao, because better/worse is moot in the world of MDZS. The point is that both Jiang Cheng and Jin Guangyao bring about the death of a brother by prioritizing their own wellbeing and proving themselves to the fathers whose approval it is impossible to win (because the problem is with them rather than with Jiang Cheng or Jin Guangyao themselves), would have/did kill a child on the basis of their parentage (Wen Yuan was rescued by Lan Wangji or he would absolutely have been killed, Jin Guangyao does kill A-Song–it doesn’t matter whether or not either of them did/would have done it personally; at the very least they set in motion events they knew would result in a child’s death), and yet both raised and genuinely loved Jin Ling (as Jin Ling himself concludes in the end).

But in regards to Jin Ling, Jiang Cheng’s insecurities make it impossible for him to communicate well with the people he loves. He warns Jin Ling not to come back unless he accomplishes something on Dafan Mountain, which almost gets Jin Ling killed trying to prove himself. (I wrote more about that in this meta here.)

After Wei Wuxian’s resurrection, Jiang Cheng proves that he doesn’t hate Wei Wuxian several times despite claiming he does. Firstly? When Jin Guangyao accuses Mo Xuanyu of being Wei Wuxian in the middle of a crowd, Jiang Cheng could easily turn him in and be rid of him since Jiang Cheng already knows it. And yet, Jiang Cheng does not do so, even when called upon; instead, his indecision is noted. Secondly, he kept Chenqing with him all these years, when he very easily could have destroyed it (which is another parallel to Jin Guangyao, who kept Suibian, an ultimately useless sword); the flute, on the other hand, is a symbol of demonic cultivation and yet Jiang Cheng does not get rid of it. He went so far as to torture other demonic cultivators to death, many of whom are noted to have been innocent, and yet he kept demonic cultivational tools with him, because it was his brother’s–which also, yes, shows how he hates himself and kind of wants to punish himself, too.

And, of course, there’s the sacrifice that Jiang Cheng never reveals (at least not by the novel’s end). He sacrificed his own life to save Wei Wuxian from the Wens, was willing to give up what he always wanted–to lead Lotus Pier and thereby earn his father’s respect–to save Wei Wuxian’s life. Yet, in the end that led to Wei Wuxian sacrificing his golden core for Jiang Cheng, and in the end, Jiang Cheng can’t tell Wei Wuxian for the same reason Wei Wuxian couldn’t tell Jiang Cheng in his first life: it would sound like an excuse. So, again, Jiang Cheng’s pride is getting in the way–yet, at least this time, he is willing to sacrifice looking good and look worse for the sake of letting Wei Wuxian go.

However, I think there’s reason to hope, as I’ve said before. I did not interpret that ending to mean their relationship was over or could never be significantly close again. Wei Wuxian has let go of a lot of his pride and learned some hard lessons about self-sacrifice and protecting people, and the younger generation is making so much room for nuance and kindness and thereby challenging society. I personally assumed they’d have that conversation eventually, but we didn’t need to see it to assume it would happen.

#ask hamliet #jiang cheng #mdzs #mdzs meta #mxtx #mxtx meta #wei wuxian #jin guangyao #jin ling #su she #madame yu #yu ziyuan

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inknose · 4 years

Text

mdzs read diary part IV, the end

It’s inspiring how much self care wwx is gonna finally get now that his husband will go along with whatever he does, so he’s gotta look out for lwj’s well being if not his own. that is emphatically the STUFF

dragging my hands down I face as I read this, after all these chapters of getting up close and personal with ghouls bleeding from every orifice, slaying ancient beasts, rebelling against the entire cultivation world, the two of them are absolutely paralyzed by middle school crush sleepover math

chicken

he actually drew kissy doodles .... he....

IDK I THINK I JUST DOCUMENTED THIS PART CUZ I WAS STILL SCREAMING you cant expect me to have very useful things to say at this point

this is torture you are both so mushy you are so GONE

This part really stood out to me, it’s an attitude I feel like wwx implies with his inner narration a few times but most clearly says here: he’s not one for allowing himself to exaggerate how bad his circumstances are/could be even a little bit - he’s already lived through some extreme low points and found a way to keep going, so he never makes sweeping statements about what he couldn’t live without (Inner JingYi: you’re supposed to say you’d be lost without him here!!!) Instead he seems to accept as a given that being alive doesn’t guarantee him any pleasantness or joy at all, and as a result his feelings toward being in TRUE LOVE are surprisingly pragmatic, but also colored with such gratitude. There are a lot of things in the novel that struck me, like this, as being just a little to the left of familiar tropes/sentiments, and were more touching for it. Whether it be the influence of culture difference as opposed to what I’m used to reading in most western romance stories, or MXTX’s unique outlook, or a combination of both, it was really refreshing and made me pause over it. Not “I can’t imagine living without you” but “I could be living without you, but instead I get to be with you and I think that’s the best thing that could happen.”

ADJFDKFJ THE UST BEING SO STRONG THAT EVEN THE VILLAIN COMMENTS ON IT IN THE MIDDLE OF EXECUTING HIS EVIL PLANS IS ONE OF THOSE THINGS THAT WILL NEVER FAIL TO MAKE ME LAUGH MY ASS OFF. hes like god damn! here I thought I had problems

it was at this moment that I realized we were doing this Now... I’m still recovering. What a scene. I am so glad I saw the most incredible fanart soon afterwards, bc the fact that someone has already drawn a perfect comic of this part means I don’t have to

I love you so much, you are so annoying, you are perfect... I like how he’s been experiencing openly requited love for all of ten minutes but he’s already figured out how to weaponize it to piss people off

doing!!! his!!! job!!!!!

ahh... it’s a really good story. JGY is a great character. One of the most interesting differences for me between drama watching vs. novel reading experience is that without an actor to bat his vulnerable doe eyes at you and smile faintly with his cute dimples, the book does not go much out of its way to try to lull the reader into a false sense of security around him or *endear* him to you the way the show does. But just by seeing events through wei wuxian’s POV, its still enough to evoke pity or understanding towards him. The overall impression is a bit more detached though, there’s less emphasis on the spectacle of how he could manipulate everyone closest to him and more of a general feeling of resigned tragedy that everyones the worst on this bitch of an earth.

I CANNOT DEAL WITH YOU FOR EVEN ONE MORE SECOND!!!!

I clearly paused to take note of less and less parts at the end & the extras due to: a) too excited to reach the end b) too spicy to photograph and c) too sleepy cuz I kept reading in the middle of the night. but I absolutely took the time for Bro We Are Teens appreciation corner:

I’d absolutely read 40 more extra chapters of their monster-of-the-week field trip antics.

god... poor Jin Ling now basically has to deal with divorced parents that talk shit about each other to him whenever he is saying with one of them. except they are both his uncles. just a disasterhood of all uncles from start to finish. AUUUGH wei wuxian and jiang cheng have fucked me up completely, I dream of them reconciling but I also REFUSE to believe it would ever be easy. let me know if theres a fanfic that absolutely tortures you for decades before they hug

HAHAHA oh no this man ain’t making it to immortality thats for damn sure. HE’S JUST GONNA TRY AS HARD AS HE CAN HIS WHOLE LIFE NOT TO LOOK AT HIM BUT THEYRE *MARRIED* SDLKFJSF ohhhh it’s too funny, like... the mundane domestic family drama IN the fantastical swords and sorcery setting is what really ratchets up these things from amusing to fucking hilarious I think

aaaa the end... final random thoughts? No not final, I would like to please keep discussing at length and exhaustively, all the time please - CQL has gotta be one of the best TV adaptations I’ve seen. ANY adaptation of anything would be lucky to be so good!! reading the novel has just made me appreciate it even more.

- I don’t think I can do justice to what I find most fascinating about comparing the two versions briefly, to do that I need to get drunk and ramble at my friends for hours but... the condensed version is something like this. Really all the significant differences between the two versions (besides the ones which can be attributed to censorship and therefore aren’t worth discussing) are a side effect of the structure of how the story is told - there’s barely anything changed arbitrarily. Aside from having a cold opening, the drama sticks to a very linear version of the story, and I think for a TV show or film, that’s probably the best way to do it. We see everything, we get shocked and tricked and betrayed and surprised along with the characters, we feel the biggest impact at the climactic scenes having experienced all the build-up. The novel on the other hand is not only much more non-linear in WHEN we learn bits and pieces of information, but that information is also obfuscated under wei wuxian’s multiple layers of Unreliable Narratoritis, which are as follows: 1) difficulty remembering things because of personality/avoiding painful memories/actual memory loss, 2) No Homo Goggles still on, and 3) a wry sense of humor that makes the reader unsure of how much they can trust his attitude toward things, especially near the beginning. The experience of reading is a puzzle the reader has to mentally piece together through all of the above listed camouflage, and the puzzle itself is a three-sided mystery: One - How Bad of a guy was Wei WuXian really, and how exactly did all the bad stuff in his life go down; Two - wangxian epic pride & prejudice gambits; Three - political murder mystery. (I love stories like this btw... though I fully admit I’m glad I watched first this time bc it might have taken me a long time to tackle otherwise.) Because of this, where the drama wants to pull you in and submerge you in all the most potent emotional parts, the novel in direct contrast deliberately side-steps around these things and asks that you hurt yourself by filling in the blanks. In fact the more intense emotions and painful memories involved, whether it be his relationship with jiang yanli, his DEATH, the darkest days of war times etc, the more the novel evasively withholds details. I actually really like both styles of storytelling but each one is obviously way better suited to its medium. ANYWAY.... THATS BASICALLY WHERE MY BRAINS AT WHILE IM READING GAY SWORD WIZARD BOOKS

- The extras are so saturated with domestic married bliss that it’s a good thing I stopped taking pictures because I’d just take a picture of every page. this is too much for me to take... I did jump the gun a few times and read a few fanfics while I was still mid-read of the book (I tried to hold out but alas I am mortal) and at one point after finishing I was like “wow what fic was it in where lwj says something cute and wwx kisses him in public but they’re in the corner of the restaurant so no one really sees... OH NO WAIT that was actually in there.” and ... and that’s the LEAST OF IT... *stares into the distance* theyre married wow

- I ofc couldn’t help but see a few vague blogs beforehand so honestly I was braced for something like, wildly ooc for the sake of porn to happen in the extras... I definitely appreciate how the incense burner porn interludes could be uhhh a lot for many people and not my personal cup of tea in terms of smut however [here follows the words of a poisonous frog who has dwelt her whole life in the rainforests of BL] the concept is also surprisingly SWEET SDFLKJF like wwx sees lan wangji’s darkest mixed-up violent teenage fantasies and he’s just like aww babe you had a crush on me!! just... good for them

- I swear I’m not gonna rehash every cute married thing they do but wei wuxian grading papers in the tub........................rEALLY GOT ME

- I want to Draw - ok thats enough if I keep going I’ll just write “wei wuxian grading papers in the tub” seven more times probably

#mdzs readthru #this obviously has many spoilers

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