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#and STILL loves wholeheartedly

razornioccam · 1 month

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part of liking elibarra is acknowledging the uncomfortable truth that they would never work out in their universe. not just bc of the obvious real world implications but bc they simply clash too much. ibarra may try to look past that (as seen in him inviting elias to run away with him abroad) but elias knows its simply not possible. they are worlds apart.

ibarra has caused elias so much pain, even if he had no intention of doing so. he hurt him by being part of the eibarramendia family, by thriving at his family's expense. he hurts him by being dismissive of his pleads for reform, by siding with his oppressors, by chiding those who he deems below him- people that are just like elias, reduced to criminals. and he will hurt him again by being capable of change, by being someone worth saving. if ibarra continues down the path of violent retribution, he will hurt the many eliases of the country. elias knows this, and jumps off the boat anyway.

ibarra will hurt elias again and again and again. but elias will always choose to save him. because it's the right thing to do. because he has a real chance at sparking the revolution, even if their ideas of how it should happen differ massively. because unlike elias, ibarra was not made to suffer.

what im saying is jose rizal was a pioneer of toxic doomed yaoi

#elibarra #noli me tangere #el filibusterismo #el noli #al shpeals #sorry guys the elibarra brainworms took over for today #will get back to regularly scheduled programming #do not get me wrong i still love them wholeheartedly #but theyre kinda really fucked up #its part of the appeal okay if you get it you get it #ibarra my problematic king #elias deserves better

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goliig68 · 1 year

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I miss the times when zhanyi had moments like this:

I mean...tianshan is my favourite ship right now but years ago, I started reading 19 days because of zhanyi.

After re reading the comic for n'th times, I can see after jian yi's confession their development got slower and then story focused mostly on tianshan. But I feel like zhanyi's development has come to full stop right now :( they haven't got any emotional or significant moment for a long time, they're like background characters to tianshan's story.

I mean yeah, years go old xian made a good decision to focus and develop tianshan's relationship because zhanyi were light years ahead of them, and zhanyi were finally got to some points, jian yi confessed and zheng xi accepted jian yi's feeling for him and after that zheng xi seemed to develop some romantic feelings for jian yi but oh well. We never saw anything after that (also I'm not happy with the way old xian is going with zheng xi's character, it seems like he doesn't have any character out of jian yi anymore and he doesn't have any close relationship or significant interaction with he tian or mo like jian yi does,it's like his purpose of existence is only because of jian yi, I could go on but that's literally a different topic)

I know they are together in future, in Christmas chapters they seem to be living together, but their development has been so dry that I keep questioning myself how old xian is gonna make them a thing.

I can only hope for old xian to take a look at them and be like: oh yeah they're the main couple I need to start focusing on them too!

after tianshan officially became canon, I thought that old xian is gonna give zhanyi some major development to move their relationship from sided love to mutual feelings but it doesn't seem we're going back to zhanyi anytime soon. I believe zheng xi is in love with jian yi already"I'll go wherever you go" was his way of telling it, or jian yi's "no matter what happens, don't ever leave me". I wish we saw their reactions to these indirect love confessions.

#Sorry for the rant!!#I didn't supposed to write this much lol #I only wanted to show some old zhanyi moments #And feeling nostalgic #I get it why some zhanyi fans left the fandom long time ago #Some of them are still in but they don't interact much #It's sad but on some updates there's really nothing for them to scream about #The imbalance between couples is something that can get criticed about this comic #While I critic 19 days I still love it wholeheartedly #My love for 19 days hasn't decreased a bit after all these years #And I respect old xian's decisions #They can write their own story however they want #19 days #zhanyi #zhan zheng xi #jianyi

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nitw · 1 year

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serizawa being all like "i have little experience in relationships of any kind due to my sheltered past but being in love sure sounds nice :) anyway do you wanna hear about my boss? he's so cool~" and reigen being canonically bitchless always + showing no interest in the female clients he's popular with + questioning the importance of sexual attraction and marriage + actually feeling insecure about his struggle with emotional vulnerability deep down and thinking no one could possibly like him back for who he is..............

so anyway yea they're both somewhere on the aroace spectrum and gay for each other

#i have more to add but i don't wanna clutter the post so like HEAR ME OUT #BECAUSE this drives me up the walls insane #serizawa being the first person on equal ground with reigen to see through the walls he puts up but still respect and love him #reigen being serizawa's biggest source of inspiration and guidance but who also wholeheartedly boosts his self-esteem -#- and is the anchor keeping him grounded when he needs it most #BOTH of them being each other's first 'is this? what attraction feels like?????' epiphany #god. GODDDDD #leo.txt #serirei #mp100 #mob psycho 100

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givemewallywestorgivemedeath · 7 months

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Hey, hey, I just wanna pop in here real fast and say that I've just discovered the funniest fucking trans head canons/aus, and that's the Teenaged Mutant Ninja Turtles trans head canons/aus where they have no fucking clue that they're trans because Splinter doesn't know turtle anatomy.

It's the best. Holy shit. It's hilarious dog. They're so fucking stupid, it's great. This is my new favorite thing. They just find out one day that they've actually been trans this whole time because their Dad just assumed all of them were male. But surprise bitch! One/all/whatever of your sons actually had XX chromosomes the whole time!!

This is like... assigned cis at birth lmao

This is fantastic

#hooooly shitballs its so funny #these are officially the best coming out stories ever #imagine having to come out as trans to yourself #im in love. these are hilarious #no one knows shit about turtle anatomy its amazing #hey shout out to rottmnt for giving all the boys concave plastrons and Leo non fading red stripes #cause thats all supposed to be XX chromosome linked .. so like rottmnt said trans rights #bam! all the tmnt are trans now. they just don't know lmfao #rottmnt said trans rights and it also said that splinter is stupid and i support both of those statements wholeheartedly #rottmnt #tmnt #trans rights #turtle power = trans power????#anyway im still on my tmnt bullshit fyi #(aw fuck i fucked up my tags. the boys got NON concave plastrons cause their abs do be ab-ing #(and thats the xx linked trait not the other way around)#(turns out that i too do not know turtle anatomy. it do be like that folks. i do be stupid but that aint new lmfao)

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beanghostprincess · 7 months

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reiju being the only vinsmoke child that has feelings and can empathize is pretty much obviously referencing the whole "unlike boys, girls are emotional" thing that has always been said to disregard women's positions of power and strengths, assuming that empathy is not a strength itself.

from men's pov, girls are: emotional, weak, sensitive, empathetic... they're the ones doing the "simple" house tasks like cooking, cleaning, taking care of things instead of destroying them.

that sounds, kind of, exactly to what sanji is. sanji's "failures, weaknesses, malfunctions..." are literally what is expected to see in women.

they tell him to man up. to be stronger. to stop crying because boys don't cry. how could he cry?! how could he dream?! how could he cook and be nice to others and feel? how could he be a good person when he's a man and men are expected to be bigger than anyone else. he should take up space, not give it to the ones who need it. he should scream at the top of his lungs, deeply and loudly, not gently. he should take and take and take and he should not give because men are meant to own, not to offer. he shouldn't be clever, he should act. he shouldn't be sad or in pain because men are supposed to take it and swallow and bear with it. he shouldn't be hungry. hunger is for the people who lack food and if you lack food you're weak and if you're weak you're not a man. and lack means wanting, but why's he craving something when he should just take it and take it and take it? so he shouldn't eat because eating is meant to be for pleasure only, if you're a man, and if you need it you're weak because he shouldn't need. he should want and take and never need.

he cries when they kick him and he begs when they take someone away from him. because he's weak. because he loses and loses and loses and never wins only because he isn't man enough to cheat. he goes through life asking first, acting second. he doesn't play dirty, like a man should, but lives in a clean state of pureness and delicacy. he has to be clean to cook, of course. clean to be good. but men don't cook and they are allowed to be as bad as they want. but he isn't, is he? because he feels. and feels and feels until it's too much. so much that it explodes and it breaks and his soul shatters. soul that he shouldn't have in the first place because men are a fortress with enough strength to ignore what's inside. and he is weak. he is small. he is hungry.

god, he's so hungry. but not for power or money or women- well, he is hungry for women. for their soothing voices and soft touches and angry glances that are always a bit too much for his poor heart to handle. he never asks much, just a bit of them. crumbs to feed his starving heart. he finds comfort in women the same way a man destined to death would consume his last meal. he's on the verge of falling but he can't, because men do not fall, they are the ones to push. so he's hungry, but he doesn't eat because if he did, that would mean he needs it and then he wouldn't be a man.

men should fight and not defend, but he's always protecting and never fighting. he fights to protect, never himself, always others. he fights to defend his weak self, but it can't be called fighting when the only thing he does is taking. and he learns to take it without a single word or prayer escaping his lips because a man should not do that.

he's different. a failure. a mistake. a good for nothing. not a man. not powerful like a vinsmoke should be. not godly and royal like his family is. machines built to kill and destroy and take and take instead of living. but sanji likes living. he likes breathing and eating and smiling and feeling and giving and giving and giving until he doesn't have anything to offer. he likes being alive and feeling.

so he has to be human, if not only a malfunction in their mom's womb.

human, but not quite, because being human means being like the rest. the definition for human is "not a vinsmoke", in his perception, so he has to be. he is. he is human. he wishes to be, at least, part of the mankind.

man. man. a man. that's what he should be. that's what he is. vinsmoke men are not just men. they're men. and being only a man should be different, but it isn't. it will never be.

he is human, but not really. he's not a vinsmoke, that's for sure. but he's not human, either, he's still different.

because when he gets out of there, the fire of the stove still burns his hands. and he can cook. yes. he realizes he can cook and he can enjoy and live and give and give and it's liberating to know he can and will live. but he can't dream because dreaming of impossible things —like blue, deep, magic seas— isn't meant for rational men. he's following the recipe wrong, all over again, and he doesn't know what the hell is going on if all the ingredients are right.

then he is hungry again. hungry for life. and food, too. and he has never felt weaker and less of a vinsmoke, but more of a human. he bleeds and cries and begs and starves like any human would and yet... he isn't a man. he isn't a real person. and maybe it's still in his blood, despite having ran away, the malfunction in his veins. there is something deeply wrong with him. down to his core.

and he can't figure out what, but he can starve. so that means he's human. but he's not a man. because men don't starve. they take what life gives them and don't need to eat if they can't. zeff is strong and wide and the manliest man he has ever met. and yet he's hungry, but he doesn't eat. he doesn't eat because he gives. he gives food to a kid who doesn't even deserve to eat. he gives food to a kid, not a man, because if he was a man he wouldn't need to eat.

so he just needs to grow up and become a man, he thinks. that's it. time. time. that's what he lacks and what he should take. years.

but he doesn't become a man.

he grows fond of women as years pass by. they're gorgeous. pieces of art. delicate, emotional, calculative, strategic, pretty, soothing, and perfect in every way. they're everything a vinsmoke shouldn't be. they're everything sanji is- wants to be. he isn't like them. he is a man.

he likes watching them and giving them the pleasures he's refused of, because at least he gets to taste the other end of the stick when dreaming about impossible things turns out to be something too emotional for him to handle as the man he has become.

skirts. dresses. high heels. make up.

it must be hard to fight in those. that's why men don't wear them. because men are meant to fight. girls are meant to just exist. they give peace and love to a world full of destruction just by breathing, they don't need to do anything in order to give.

nami's ruthless. like a storm. and pretty, obviously, like a faint, calm rain. gorgeous and bright, like the sun. and she's feminine in such a strong way that it makes sanji shiver and get on his knees quicker than any woman has ever done. because she's different, too. she's a girl but she's not a girl. and she's not a man but she's more of a man than sanji could ever be in a million years, he realizes, because she's not afraid. and men shouldn't be afraid.

sanji always is. he just doesn't show. showing emotions is a cry for help and boys don't- men don't cry.

she's a girl without being like any other girls. so that means sanji can be a man without being exactly like the rest.

and yet, he's still not a man.

because dresses aren't meant or men, and still he can easily run wearing high heels without any problem. and they feel good, too, not because they fit in but because they fit him. they match the dress and the lip gloss. the world used to be black and white but now it's fucking pink and it makes him feel good and brave and strong and he's not afraid.

then the world shatters again. pops like those bubbles again. and again. like the day he lost himself to the pleasurable feeling of comfort he's been fighting his whole life. because he's a man and comfort means not being able to handle pain. and he fought pain that day until he gave in to his desires. but desiring something is only a thing men can afford, and he didn't actually desire it. he needed it. needs it to breathe and to laugh and to live. needs it because he can't handle pain and if he can't handle pain he's not a man.

so he goes back to hiding and wanting and giving and giving but without needing. and he doesn't take, because he's not a vinsmoke, but he is a man, because he only eats the crumbs women throw at him.

it's raining when he hears it, and he can't help thinking about nami. ruthless, strong, gorgeous and feminine nami.

pudding wouldn't. nami wouldn't.

he wouldn't marry himself either, if asked.

and there's gotta be something wrong with him. something that doesn't work. because he's not a vinsmoke but he's not a man and he's not human and he's not even a failure. he isn't a failure because his mom said so. and if someone as honest and good and kind and feminine as her said that, it has to be true.

and yet he's not a man. he looks at himself from far away. he's always seen himself like that. like a soul flying around an empty body. a shell.

and then it breaks.

it's still raining.

luffy is beautiful. and he is a man. but just like nami isn't a girl, luffy isn't a man.

because he dreams, bigger than anybody else. he shines, brighter than the sun. he feels, louder than any woman. he fights, with his whole heart and fists and punches way harder than any vinsmoke. and he's hungry. luffy's hungry due to a promise. a promise lead by loyalty and love and passion and everything sanji wishes he could let himself feel.

the thing is, luffy can feel all of those and still be a man.

if sanji feels, he won't be a man. nor a vinsmoke.

niji called him girl once. because he cried. and the punches hurt, but for some reason the thought of being allowed to feel if he were to be a woman made the wound heal faster.

luffy sees him cry.

and dream and wish and ask and beg and break.

and he's trying to give, but luffy is asking him to take and be selfish. he wonders if taking something for himself will turn him into a man, finally.

but he cries again.

"i want to go back to sunny."

and he's not a vinsmoke. nor a man.

he isn't sure exactly what he is.

and then luffy says: "that's just how you are!" about him being too kind for his own good and too empathetic for him to be considered a man.

luffy smiles when he says it, as if it was the most brilliant quality of the cook.

he's not a vinsmoke. he's not a man.

sanji lets himself dream about what he could be. lets himself feel what he truly is.

he has never liked feeling weak because that's just what women are supposed to be. delicate and soft and meant to be rescued by the prince he should be.

luffy looks at him like he's the most beautiful thing to ever be under the rain. dirty and messy and crying and shattered. but still beautiful. and clean. and pure. and soothing. and everything a woman is and everything he wants to be and everything he could be.

and it's a very complex recipe and perhaps he still lacks some ingredients and maybe he could use less of others and let it cook for a bit longer.

but it tastes good. to dream. to feel. to exist. not like a mistake but as a human.

as herself.

#what is thissss #it's 4 am and i'm still awake writing this bc i had a sanji kinnie breakdown #this was supposed to be a 'reiju has feelings bc she's a girl and so that's like a metaphor for transfem sanji'#but as you can see i got a bit carried away #i'm not reading all of this again if you find any typos just ignore them #i love transfem sanji wholeheartedly #she's so important to me #genderfluid any pronouns sanji my beloved #one piece #sanji #black leg sanji #monkey d luffy #lusan #lusan?? kind of??? the last things are very lusan and i did it thinking about them romantically #whole cake island

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pinayelf · 9 months

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gonna be cringe on main for a sec

I'm so heartbroken about what EA is doing bioware and dragon age specifically

because I genuinely love dragon age so much. I love the games, I love the characters, I love the lore. it's brought me so much joy and comfort through a hard time in my life

I'm not dickriding the company, I know there's problems and issues with the game and the writing. that's something I've always acknowledged

but I think a lot of people can relate about having a piece of media that's their beloved and their comfort and mine is dragon age. it inspired me to draw again and I wouldn't be this far into my art journey without it. I've met some of my best friends because of the game

I know it sounds silly to still be hanging on to a dying franchise in a dying company but when I really love something I can't just ~move on, I tend to like it for a long time

idk I don't know what's going to happen. I hope the creative team is paid what they deserve. I hope EA CEOs choke for being money hungry fucks

I have the three games, and if DA:D I'll have that. I'll still be making content and posting about it as long as I love the series because it brings me joy and I'm tired of feeling embarrassed and stupid because it does

#i vented on twitter last night bc i just got emotional #im still emotional i guess #im on my period #but yeah #you know when you ask ppl what their game is?#dragon age is MY game #idc if ppl think im cringey anymore #i still love it wholeheartedly and this whole deal truly broke my heart

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scrumptiousobjectcollector · 1 month

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I'm curious: do you like thrifting older dolls?

Oh this is such a fun question! Thank you for dropping into my little ask box🥰

The non answer is yes and no. I've never been one to do the "traditional" route of thrifting, online shopping is my passion... but buying dolls secondhand yes absolutely(just depends how much a stickler you define thrifting😅)

The more indepth answer that I will build from is: it definitely depends on the character.

Tbh the whole buckets/bins hauls that I see people having probably wouldn't appeal to me. But a more calculated focus of looking for specific dolls and lines(usually being sold online) is my route. There are definitely g1 frankie and cleo dolls and some toralei and ghoulia and a few other dolls that I am keeping my eyes out for.

Characters like venus and nefera who I wholeheartedly prefer and connect more with their g3 versions there is probably not a g1 doll of them that I would care enough about to have taking up space on my shelves. Just like g1 drac just doesn't appeal to me because I adore g3 drac and her design so much.

Just hoping to see g3 continue to expand on characters and maybe give drac a break(doubtful)

I must water my special interest in a certain way so to speak lol.

I do want to get into customizing and making ooak dolls so we'll see where that brings me.

This answer hopefully isn't too messy, tysm <33 what about you??(you're into other doll lines iirc, not just mh?)

#thank you for the ask #i think I'm so connected with g3 and the changes theyve made.#but characters that i have fully wholeheartedly loved since g1 in still on the lookout for some of their dolls

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lilbreed1ngdoll · 7 months

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its really hit me now, harder than ever, just how selfish i am for continuing with the pregnancy rather than aborting all because i had decided long ago that i wanted to keep the first one that sticks.

and if i were to magically find the father, there would be a rather good argument because I begged to be bred when he didnt exactly want to. which is also why its best i dont find him for child support because it would seem like i just used him to have a kid and take his money which is true to an extent (because it was, after all, a hookup. we used each other).

so as much as everyone keeps telling me to find him again, it really isnt a good idea because IM the bad guy and im more than positive he wants nothing to do with it so why burden him and make him pay for something he didnt desire?

and before i garner any sympathy, this is 100% self-reflection. this wasnt a smart decision and my sister was right

#as fucked as it is im still going to love my child wholeheartedly and im still very excited and happy #ideally. yes. i would have had a long term partner before conceiving but again. i was selfish and i was ready to be a mother no matter what

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i-write-shakespeare-not-disney · 1 year

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It's 1 am and I can't stop thinking about how incredibly well Dabi portrays trauma. How his younger self really loved and admired his father to the point of self destruction and hopes to be praised and seen worthy for his efforts at doing what he was told. How that admiration and love twists into hatred when he realizes how selfish his father was the whole time, how it was never his burden to carry his fathers expectations and desires, how that pressure and every moment of abuse left him broken in a way that would never be fixed until all he can do is continue that path of destruction against himself. And how he reaches the conclusion that he might be beyond saving but by God he'll make that bastards life just as miserable, make him face what he did, what he turned him into and then take him down with him.

And it's just so.... fucking depressing that dabis internal brokenness is reflected in his body bc of his quirk. Like yeah, maybe that physical burn wasn't directly from Endeavor, but it's all borne from Endeavors actions and lack of action. The neglect, the refusal to listen, to pay attention, maybe to just get him some fucking help with his quirk since he has the money, the pressure, all of it. It pushed this child to the brink and left that brokenness to fester into adulthood and now!!! He's stuck with it!!!! Not just the internal brokenness, but external damage to mirror it! I'm

I'm going crazy and I have work in less than six hours

#i have so many feelings!!!!!!!#dabi #todoroki touya #bnha #mha #i still havent seen the episodes but im thinking about them #idk something really hit with that realization that yeah #theres a point in your life where you love your abuser wholeheartedly #and in retrospect its horrifying #but what else could a child know #goDDDDDDD

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abirddogmoment · 1 year

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Was there a moment when you and Mav first clicked? It’s been such a joy to see you guys together for the past few years, thank you for sharing your adventures with us ❤️

I'm really glad you guys asked this one because it took a really REALLY long time for me and Mav to bond for realsies.

I wanted a stable puppy for sports and I had basically no other criteria for what I wanted in a dog. Mav's breeder assigned homes at 8 weeks old so I went to pick Mav up not knowing which puppy was mine. In my mind I was picturing a little liver male so I wasn't ready when she gave me the tri puppy. I loved him, but I was reserved about it.

Mav was easygoing from day 1, but he was also ferociously independent. He didn't need me and he made that very clear. I experienced a huge learning curve, going from a dog who worshiped me to a dog who didn't care if I lived or died. I thought I wasn't cut out for Mav and I seriously debated bringing him back to his breeder for over a year.

At some point we were living in Yellowknife just the two of us and something shifted. It wasn't all at once, but one day I noticed it was easier. He was offering check ins, I could trust him in more situations, he acted according to his training, and I got better at handling him clearly. I genuinely started liking his company, he slowly turned into a "bring everywhere" dog, and we learned how to be a team. It was really something special to experience, although it was a really trying time for that first little bit.

#about mav #mav memories #he was a challenging puppy #it was really hard to see the work i put into him #but around the two year mark he started maturing #and it was like the foundations i did fell into place #and suddenly i noticed he was a really pleasant dog #i still loved him before that #but i couldve rehomed him and not felt too bad about it #i feel terrible saying that now #i shouldve loved him wholeheartedly from day 1 #but i didnt know wbat to expect and he was not what i expected #and it was challenging #but we got there #and i loved him as big as the whole world at the end #so i think that makes up for my reserved love at the beginning

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