#and NONE of the motorcycle transformers make any kind of fucking sense AT ALL
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THE FACT TRANSFORMERS DO NOT HAVE CONSISTENT SIZING OR EVEN CANON HEIGHTS FOR MOST CONTINUITIES
#tf#I HATE IT HERE WHY DO THEY HAVE SUCH WILDLY DIFFERING HEIGHTS#i can't even find canon heights for most of them anyway 😭#i just want to be able to figure out a ratio for auto form to robot form so i can figure out how tall my oc would be#and then how tall they would be compared to various characters#but noooooo bumblebee can be roughly in the same height range every time#and that correlates fairly one to one to his auto form (from what i can find)#starscream seems to vary a lot within the twenties or so.. but if he's one of the F number jets.#that's like a ratio of ~.4 ISH for robot height to irl jet length (again for the heights i can find)#which is no where NEAR the one to one ratio of Bee#and don't even get me STARTED on optimus 😭#and NONE of the motorcycle transformers make any kind of fucking sense AT ALL#i can't even start on them because I will pull all my hair out#listen. I just want a reasonable height for either a motorcycle tf or a car tf and starscream.#it's all I need to figure out a decent height for my oc based on their vehicle mode (THATS THE WORD IVE BEEN LOOKING FOR not auto form lol)#i need the motorcycle or car tf to figure out their height. and i need screamers so i know what it looks like when they fuck him lmaoo#THATS ALL I WANT. I DONT FEEL LIKE THATS TOO MUCH TO ASK FOR BUT FUCK ME I GUESS#it's 1:30 am and I have been laying in bed thinking about this for the past ehhhh 2 and a half hours#and this is definitely not the first time i've gone down this particular rabbit hole#I JUST WANT ANSWERS
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Titans S2E1, a review kinda.
I’m lazy so I’m gonna bullet point this stuff and just dump it in a haphazard order but I had some Thoughts™ about the episode that I felt like expressing.
Spoilers abound, I am withholding nothing.
I get why they held back this episode. If you look at the run time, a lot of the best stuff was actually stuff with the new characters/cast members (Slade and Bruce), and I’m pretty sure they didn’t have any of that cast at that time--at the least the news certainly came out in the interim between seasons. It seemed like the old episode might have cut off when everyone was exchanging cars but holding it back we got a lot more and I think it splits up the episodes better. So I’m okay with how they held it back.
Love the Trigon actor, not a fan of the CGI. I think the actor for Trigon was excellent, amazing. He feels so cold and malevolent but also persuasive. He’s great, I really feel his menace, he’s a great villain. The CGI when he transformed though? Mm, I think it was never going to work on the budget this show has. Personally I think they should have just alluded to his demon form with him having a Trigon-shaped shadow with the multiple glowing red eyes and then maybe we see the full Trigon figure just for a split second when Rachel is banishing him. I think it would have been a better use of the CGI to avoid it looking cheap/tacky.
Jason. You know I gotta talk about my boy Jason. Don’t get me wrong, he’s not a perfect Jason but there’s potential here. I’ve seen a lot of people say "He’s a jerk! How can anyone like him, he’s not like comic-Jason!” But I mean, none of the characters here are 100% their canon counterparts, they are all changed a little to fit the story and situation. For the most part I enjoy this show and these versions of the character for what they are in the context presented. And Jason isn’t actually a jerk, he just has a lot of teenage bravado that comes off as obnoxious and I think that’s on purpose. It’s really obvious to me that he is trying so damn hard to look cool in front of Dick and his friends, and it’s kind of just not working because they’ve been set up not to like him because he took Dick’s vigilante identity. Watch the show and you’ll realize that literally everyone he talks to is hostile to him before he even opens his mouth because he has Dick’s costume. He’s not actually a jerk, like Bruce said, he just has rough edges, in his heart he just wants to be acknowledged. Look how quick he was to say he wanted to help Dick. He really looks up to him, even if his way of showing it isn’t always the best, but he’s not going to let Dick walk all over him, either. I just hope we get a little bit more development in the season to show he’s smart and kind of nerdy. Like Dick walks into his room and is surprised he has so many books everywhere. And like sees Jason studying or something. That would make me really happy. I also am really hoping the stuff with Hawk and Jason continues because considering the character similarities (posturing bad boys with trauma and anger problems) it’s something that makes sense. Also in the comics Hank kind of goes murdery like Jason does so it’s kind of foreshadowing to place these two together.
Deathstroke was awesome. He barely had any words, but I feel like the actor’s delivery and the writing was on point. He looks the part, too (could be taller, but I’m not fussed about it). I’m looking forward to more of him. Also his password was JOEY, I saw that on someone else’s post and it made me ‘!!!’. Yeah, there’s that heart of fools’ gold that may or may not have actual gold deep down in there somewhere that I know and love! I’m really excited to see more of him. Tangentially related is Wintergreen, who has been race bent, he’s black now. And he’s a lot younger than Slade and more dressed up, not British, either. We haven’t seen much of him yet, but I really did get a long-suffering manager/friend who is torn between being-over-Slade’s-shit but also giving-too-much-of-a-shit-so-he’ll-never-really-leave feel. Yeah I read that much into his like twenty seconds of screen time. I think I’m going to like him.
Brendan Thwaites continues to be excellent as Dick. I LOVED that he went full dad-mode/big bro-mode at the end. Making his stupid jokes. He really does feel like Nightwing. He’s great. And I thought his talk with Bruce was excellent. It really stops a batfam-fan’s heart when you see these characters interact in a healthy way.
Dad Bruce Wayne is a treasure. I think I get it. I think I understand why they cast Ian Glenn. Yeah I think his looks aren’t quite right. I think they should have had him dye his hair dark at the very least, and he’s a bit old. But to me, he really sold that Bruceness, the sort of wry humor, the way he powers through any interaction with anyone on sheer force of personality but underneath it all he doesn't have a clue what the fuck he’s doing, especially with his kids. Oh my god, he’s got Batdad down so good. When Dick said his anger had stopped him from seeing all the positive ways Bruce had helped him and Bruce leaned back and tried to play it cool and was casually like, “I’d like to hear about that,” and seemed really disappointed when Dick was like, “Next time.” DUDE. He was so surprised he’d managed to make any positive impact! He was fishing so hard for tips! Like he was so clearly thinking, “Holy shit I somehow managed to do something right under all my fuck-ups? I need to know these things for Jason!” And that’s obviously his motivation for sending Jason with Dick. He’s like, clearly Dick is better at this shit than me and knows stuff I don’t, so I need to get his help on this for Jay. But of course he’ll never just say that because he’s Bruce Wayne. Classic. Oh my god, I love them so much.
All the returning cast was great as usual. I love Teagan’s new look as Raven, her hair looks great. I kind of wish her gem didn’t just look stuck on but, eh, it’s not a deal-breaker. I also continued to love Anna Diop as Starfire and her interactions with Donna. I chuckled when Donna was like, “This is Kori, she’s an alien,” and Kori was tiffed and Donna’s like, “What, you are!” and Kori is like, “You coulda put some love into it!” or something. That was hilarious. Also I think this season is going to keep leading into RaeGar and probably more DicKori and I hope we get some JayRose too.
So overall I enjoyed this episode. Honestly all the best stuff was at the end, IMO and I’m really looking forward to more. My only disappointment is that we didn’t get a scene where Bruce calls Jason into the security room and is like, “Can you explain this?”, and there’s the footage of Jason eating shit on his motorcycle on the upstairs banister. And Jason’s guilty, like “Oh fuck.” Yeah we needed that scene.
#Titans#Dc Universe#Titans spoilers#Titans season 2#Dick Grayson#Nightwing#Jason Todd#Robin#Red Hood#Bruce Wayne#Batman#Slade Wilson#Deathstroke#Batdad
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With the Lamp Lit—A Caskett one-shot insert for “Eye of the Beholder” (5 x 05), NaFicWriMo #25
Title: With the Lamp Lit
Rating: T
WC: 1500
Summary: Patience, he thinks, is a funny thing. Not ha-ha funny. Definitely not that. But it’s an odd thing he never really had to consider until her.
A/N: Insert/tag for “Eye of the Beholder” (4 x 05)
Hope is patience with the lamp lit —Tertullian, De Patientia
Patience, he thinks, is a funny thing. Not ha-ha funny. Definitely not that. But it’s an odd thing he never really had to consider until her.
Not in his whole by-the-seat-of-his-pants upbringing, certainly. His mother is not exactly the poster-diva for it, and there was so little to expect, anyway. So little chance that something worth the wait would be around the corner. What good would patience have been?
Kyra might have been the one to teach him, if he’d had the sense to want to learn back then. But by the time she left, life had taught him a different lesson already. About money and swagger and never digging too deep or getting too entangled.
It taught him the beauty of having new passions at the ready long before the old ones had a chance to fray around the edges. It taught him to always keep short-lived obsessions and ill-advised indulgences on tap. By the time Kyra left, life had taught him the beauty of a frictionless existence.
He could have been patient with Meredith. He would have been if there’d been any point. If she’d given him a chance, but she was leaving before he had any idea what had hit him. She was gone before he even had a chance to think. It wouldn’t have been any good, either but he’d have tried. He damn well would have.
Raising a kid ought to have taught him. It ought to have been a crash course in patience, but he swears he doesn’t remember it that way. Just the opposite. He remembers hardly being able to keep up with this fascinating, funny, wildly curious little thing. He remembers constant transformation. Every day she’d master some new feat or he’d see something entirely new in her, and it’s like the rush of scenery through a car window in his memory.
And then there was Kate. Now there is Kate. Or there will be. Might be. Absolutely should be.
If he can just be patient.
The thing is, he has been. For three years, he’s been patient, or at least that’s his reckoning on nights when he feels hard done by. Three long months had certainly gotten him in the habit of that. Three months of dreaming up recovery montages starring her and Doctor Motorcycle Boy.
He’s still mad. Newly mad a lot of the time, because it’s not just that she cut him off so completely. She cut everyone off and he’s retroactively blank with fury every time that realization surfaces. She’s still such a long way from whole, and he’s furious when he thinks of her alone all that time. It’s easier than being terrified.
So he calls it three years when he’s inclined to lick his wounds, but it’s not quite the truth.
Not with this advance and retreat they’ve done all the while. Not with the two of them hurting each other. Being hurt. Being brave, being fearful, and never, not even once, being on the same damned page.
Until now. Until recently, but not exactly now, because she’s …
Well, she’s driving him nuts at the moment.
She’s being completely unreasonable about Serena Kaye, like he ordered the woman up or something. Like he was supposed to clear it with her if he did order up a woman.
Not that he is …
Not that he’s in the habit of …
Not that he would, when they’re …
Not when he’s being patient.
And he is. He’s been patient in earnest, and it hasn’t really been all that hard until now.
He’s angry by night. Terrified and relentlessly awake nights when there’s no body. No case and no reason for her to call him. Him to call her. But being with her when there is covers a multitude of sins. She makes him laugh. She picks on him, and he likes it. He picks on her, and it’s even better than it was before. There’s no Gina to feel guilty about. There’s no Josh to burn energy hating, and it’s not just that. It’s not just absence. It’s presence. It’s more.
She doesn’t close up lately when he teases her. When he flirts. She flirts back. She challenges him and he challenges her. They ooze subtext. They make ridiculous puppy dog eyes and slip a hundred hopeful little messages into everyday conversation, and it must be disgusting from the outside looking in. It must look like the cheesiest teen romance, but it’s been easy to be patient.
It was easy before Serena Kaye.
It’s even easy after Serena Kaye. At first it is, anyway, because she’s jealous, right? She’s jealous, and that makes it a hundred and one hopeful little messages. Except it doesn’t, because she’s not jealous, apparently.
(You know, suit yourself.)
Or maybe she is jealous, and it’s is karmic punishment for fishing.
(So you think I should … pursue it?)
Maybe it’s the Universe swatting him on the nose with a rolled-up newspaper for that, but he’s entitled to the occasional long, dark night of the soul, isn’t he? The occasional bid for reassurance, because three years of fuck-ups, take away ten minutes of heavily masked conversation about the rest of their lives … It’s not the kind of math that promotes confidence.
Or maybe he’s not. Maybe he’s fucking twelve, and he doesn’t know the first thing about patience.
He’s turned around entirely by the time he finds himself kissing her. Kissing Serena, not kissing Beckett, though there’s definite target confusion in the moment. He’s turned around and furious to find that she’s furious. Beckett, not Serena, though the lady in red is none too pleased with him, either.
He spends the rest of the case furious. It’s easier, after all, and there’s a vicious kind of clarity in it. A vicious kind of freedom in pushing Beckett’s buttons until Serena’s off the hook. Until they have their man. Or woman, as it turns out, and that seems fitting.
That seems just about right until they do have their woman, and there’s a sea change in her he doesn’t understand. Her fury winks out just like that, replaced by sudden resignation he doesn’t understand. Sudden resignation that makes him tired. Hopeless.
He watches from the break room, her and Serena with their heads together. They’re smiling, both of them, and he doesn’t understand. He hangs back as long as he can stand it, fiddling with the espresso maker. Stalling until it’s too much.
He creeps closer. He hears his name. A word that might be date and then nothing as her voice drops low, then lower still.
Why are you telling me this?
That’s Serena, and it’s irritating. It’s infuriating that she’s still there, and he doesn’t have the time to wonder how that particular paradox works. He doesn’t have the patience as he leans in. As he strains hard to hear.
I think that you should know what kind of person you’re dealing with.
She wants to take him out for a hamburger. She says its the least she can do. It’s the hundred and second hopeful sign. It should be, anyway, but something doesn’t sit quite right about it.
It’s not that he’s furious. Not with her, anyway, but clarity isn’t all it’s cracked up to be. The whole affair seems to have left him with an answer he doesn’t really know the question to, though he thinks it has something to do with patience and lack thereof. It has something to do with the entirely fleeting tingle that came with kissing Serena Kaye and just how thoroughly Kate Beckett has already ruined him for the kind of instant gratification that's gotten him through most of his adult life.
Whatever it is, It leaves him quiet, and she notices. She more than notices.
“You ok?” she asks, and there’s that resignation again. That soft sorrow turned inward.
“I heard you. What you told Serena.” It’s not true. It’s not quite true, and he’s not exaclty sure why he’s bluffing. What he’s bluffing about. “But I don’t …” He’s suddenly at the end of his rope. Not furious, but frustrated. “I don’t know why.”
“You were right about her.” Her voice is even. It’s absolutely even, but he can see it’s an effort. He can see it costs her, and that’s good and bad. It’s a wound and a balm all at once. “You were right. I wasn’t …” Her jaw works. “I wasn’t being fair.”
Fuck fair. It’s what he wants to say. It’s what the fierce, furious hope rising up wants to say, but it’s not the right time. It’s another bit of vicious clarity.
“Right isn’t all it’s cracked up to be.” That’s what he says instead. That’s his careful, between-the-lines alternative, because that’s where they are.
“Yeah?” It draws a smile from her. A sly smile that she hides and doesn’t hide behind her milkshake, and that’s where they are, too. “Well, fair straight up sucks.”
Fair sucks. It’s close enough, he thinks, as he smiles back at her. As he steals a french fry and lets her slap his hand away. It’s close enough, and he can wait.
He can be patient.
#Castle#Caskett#Castle: Season 4#Castle: Eye of the Beholder#Kate Beckett#Richard Castle#Fic#Fanfic#FanFiction#Fan Fiction#Fan Fic#writing#NaFicWriMo
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