#and I didn’t put the pieces together until. what. 2014? 2015? I didn’t know it had a name | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

recklessheart92 · 1 month

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I ended up back in Benbrook.

I never seem to be able to stay in one place too long. How long will it last this time?

We are officially moving out of Albuquerque by the end of May. I thought being there would do so much for me… but I’m just chasing some other high, hoping that next time it will work; next time I will be happy.

Almost 2 years in and there doesn’t seem to be anything there for me. Like I’ve squeezed out any last drop of dopamine I can from the entire city.

I’m sitting on a park bench at Timbercreek park. This place used to be my solitude. I would frequently walk down across the bridge and just… be. The city removed the picnic tables that used to be under the huge cottonwood trees in the back section. It felt like my own little grove. Alas, nothing lasts forever. So here I am sitting on this bench across from the community garden. I’ve been visiting this place for so long that I remember when there was no garden, only sprawling green grass. There wasn’t a huge parking lot, just a tiny little asphalt patch. I wish it was like that still.

It doesn’t even feel like a safe place. I turned off my location settings so I could just be free, and of course Marc has already texted that he knows where I will be. Had I been in a better mood, it might’ve made me smile to realize he knows me so well. But right now I feel violated. I don’t have anywhere.

Nothing is my own.

I will never be truly alone.

That’s the ironic bit, isn’t it? I’m so scared of being alone, that everyone will leave me eventually, and yet here I am pissed off that I can’t be alone. I’m sure it won’t be long before he rolls up to come take me back to the house. I dread that moment :(

The last time I sat on this bench it was 9 years ago… 2015. God what a fucking awful year for my personal life. Speaking of, it reminds me that I had past trauma thrown back in my face—the first time I had ever found another woman’s clothing in my house. It had completely slipped my mind. It was March of 2014 and Facebook just had to remind me… but then I put together the puzzle pieces and it just killed me even more.

In March of 2014 I had found a size 8 pair of slacks from Banana Republic in my laundry. I know they weren’t mine because, a) I was too poor to shop there; b) I wasn’t a size 8 at the time; and c) they were in the top of the laundry so they had just been put/left there. In 2014 Marc was off fucking someone else. He swears to this day that he never touched her and that she was never at the house. He swore a lot of things… and every single one of them I proved him wrong. It was almost too easy. He used to be a very good liar, but I knew what to look for the longer it happened.

“No, I’m not cheating.” Then I found the texts.

“No, there was never anything other than some flirting.” Then I found the nudes.

“No, she never came here.” Then I found her pants.

I hate that this has all come back up. It wrecked me all over again. The pain I had buried spilled over like it had just been waiting to be discovered again. It made too much sense.

He still swears nothing happened. Honestly, he could swear that until the day he dies and I still wouldn’t believe it. How sad is that? It’s been 10 years and I can still feel the stab of betrayal.

Today should’ve been a good day. The boys are on spring break, we finally have a house in the city that feels like home, we went to see the hundreds of butterflies flitting about in the conservatory at the FWBG. But this morning before I could even get out of bed, it was ruined.

Marc had gotten up before the sun when his alarm went off. I’ve been quite the insomniac recently, so of course I was awake. He didn’t know that, though.

I heard him open the front door. I have no idea why he did.

I asked him about it this morning and he hesitated and then came up with, “I thought I saw a cat out there and I wanted to scare it off before I took out Zelda.”

The sun wasn’t up. He couldn’t see.

He was trying to make sure Zelda didn’t see it, yet opened the door and she came running.

There wasn’t actually a cat there because he even said he didn’t see one, but maybe it was just a bush.

The more he talked about it, the more it felt like bullshit. It’s really hard to ignore those gut feelings. I’ve been around liars my entire life and I know when to listen when those red flags go up. He stopped talking to me about it later, of course. Maybe because the more he spoke, the more bullshit came out.

Goddammit it’s getting cold out here now that the sun is down. I do NOT want to go back to the house. I wish this fucking wind would stop.

I’ve spent the entire time here typing on my phone and do not feel any better. In fact, I almost feel worse.

Today has been awful. The boys have been awful. I feel that Marc is lying to me.

He told me that he is addicted to sex.

I have a terribly low libido. Probably due to past trauma, extreme stress and depression, and the general hate I have for how my life has gone. But guess what? Last time I didn’t fuck him enough, he found someone else. Two or three someones. No wonder I keep seeing the signs.

I already feel like a failure, but here’s another reason to feel like one.

I can’t think straight.

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thanksjro · 4 years

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Dark Cybertron Chapter 1: Welcome to Comic Event Hell

You know what readers love? When the stories they’ve gotten invested in over the course of a couple years get interrupted for some pseudo-crossover bullshit.

And you know what writers love? When the story they’ve been crafting over the course of a couple years get interrupted for some pseudo-crossover bullshit.

Did I say love?

Because I didn’t mean it.

“Dark Cybertron” was penned by John Barber and James Roberts, with collaboration with comic writer and artist Phil Jimenez, and was published from early November, 2013 to late March, 2014. Atilio Rojo, James Raiz, and Livio Ramondelli did the art, each responsible for scenes in specific locations, with Robert Gill filling in as needed. Alex Milne, Andrew Griffith, and Brendan Cahill would also contribute pencils to the first issue and the back half of the series. It was a celebration of the 30th anniversary of the franchise, and the second birthday of Phase Two... which went on for over four months, but never mind that!

Both "Dark Cybertron” and its preliminary materials were made to go alongside the Transformers: Generations toy-line, each issue being included as a toy pack-in with whatever character was being featured… or, at least, that was the plan. Sometimes it didn’t work out. Regardless, this storyline was created to sell toys directly, as opposed to the MTMTE/RID series being made to sell toys more through the power of suggestion. It’s a small distinction, but important, because it will help explain any lack of soul one may perceive while they read “Dark Cybertron”.

“But Hannz!” you cry out, reaching to grab me by the throat and shake me like a rag doll, because to you I’m merely a faceless voice on the internet. “Surely by calling this specific storyline soulless, you’re completely ignoring the very nature of this franchise that you’re almost uncomfortably invested in!”

To which I’ll say this: look, I’m pretty realistic about where my giant space robots came from; Transformers as a franchise would not exist the way it does without Ronald Reagan introducing the Free Market to literal children and fucking up how we interact with media for the rest of time. There is no ethical consumption under capitalism, and that rings especially true when I’ve got a Spinister on my bookshelf staring me down as I write this, that was likely made out of plastics which either involved blood oil or unethical labor practices, if not both.

However!

The choices of a company to have their comic license holders to cook up an entire plot that derails what they’ve already got planned out for toy tie-in comics is a completely different animal than what IDW had had going on up to this point. Phase Two had been about exploring different ideas that hadn’t been able to be explored during the war, and seeing what happens when you take away a third of the logline for Transformers G1 as a whole. Being a part of a brand of toys was almost inconsequential to how the stories were being told; even the Spotlights, which were also toy tie-in comics, had plenty of charm to them, if only because there weren’t quite as many constraints placed on the writers, and they were stand-alone issues.

Of course, being tie-in comics isn’t the only reason that “Dark Cybertron” is a bit of a slog, considering everything IDW itself was trying to get done within this storyline, but we’ll cover the publishing company’s/Simon Furman’s/Transformers’ tumultuous relationship with the concept of gender identity and expression later on, when it becomes relevant to the story proper. This point also ties into the interesting origin of Windblade, who we’ll meet in a few issues, and what happens when you let your fanbase have a taste of power and forget that people might like to see themselves represented in the media they consume.

“Dark Cybertron” is what ended up making me stop reading MTMTE the first time I tried it in 2015. A big part of it was because it forced the reader to need so much information from RID and even events prior to Phase Two, it wasn’t very fun to try to parse what was going on, on top of the writing beginning to flag because of obvious constraints to what Barber and Roberts could actually do, both within their deadlines and the rules put in place by their higher ups for the event.

“Dark Cybertron” is the result of the sort of executive meddling that kills reader enjoyment by requiring writers to cram their two worlds together as quickly as possible, without the option to go for nuance because there simply isn’t time. The reason we have four separate artists for the front half of this story is because Milne and Griffith didn’t have time to draw both their current workload and “Dark Cybertron” at the same time... but sales probably went up due to the nature of how the story was published, so I’m sure they didn’t really see a problem with it.

That’s a general “they”, not a Milne and Griffith “they”.

In short, we’ve got license contract obligations, fan-poll obligations, and gender stuff fighting for space within the next 12 issues, which will be published in the span of roughly four months. Things are probably going to be a little bloated and sloppy.

Regardless of any of these points, this is what we’ve got. It’s not like it’s all bad- “Dark Cybertron” has the benefit of being written by two people who had been working closely before it had even been conceptualized. Barber was the senior editor for MTMTE, and IDW as a whole until he left in 2016. It also isn’t a proper crossover- y’know, where two completely separate titles get mashed together for a bit. MTMTE and RID exist in the same universe, just have their own things going on, so a decent amount of things still carry over without you needing to have read every single thing in both. The writing, while not quite up to par with pieces that had more creative freedom and breathing room between scenes, is still recognizable as being Barber and Roberts’. Their voices are still here, they’re just strained under the weight of everything that has to be said inside of 12 issues.

With all THAT out of the way, let’s dive in to Dark Dawn: Dark Cybertron Chapter 1.

We get a quick rundown of the most basic information you’ll need for this entire story to make sense, as we reintroduce the fact that Shockwave is an ecoterrorist with more agendas than a daily planner factory on meth, and also that he grows magic crystals. I don’t care what he says, the Ores are fucking space-magic. If you don’t want to read through all of RID for everything else, please see Robots in Disguise (2012), #1-22- A Recap, For Reference Purposes. We also get a quick rundown of the Lost Lighters’ deal, as Swerve potentially has a meta-episode.

Be careful what you fucking wish for, bucko.

Our story proper starts with a flashback to the shittiest road trip Cyclonus ever went on, as the Ark 1 finds itself at the edge of a mysterious portal. This is likely why he wasn’t super thrilled when the portal to Luna 1 showed up- portals are probably a touchy subject for him.

Jhiaxus doesn’t know what this portal is- surely this means that science has failed us, and it’s time to call in the religious crowd to try and suss out what’s going on here.

It’s moments like this that make me wonder what exactly happened in the Dead Universe that made Cyclonus’ cheek meat just pack up and leave.

Now, we know that Cyclonus is correct here, because we as readers have more knowledge than the characters at this point, but Jhiaxus tries to write off this theory as hogwash, because he is a man of rationality and science. This is a slight removal from his character in the present, whose most notable traits seem to be a lack of ethics and screaming.

Everyone here seems to be slightly different from their current iterations, actually; Galvatron doesn’t say a word as he steps between Jhiaxus and Cyclonus, only using his body to communicate that the scientist might want to back off. Cyclonus himself is certainly the wordiest we’ve ever seen him to be, droning on through his actual thought process before he comes to a conclusion on what exactly they’ve found. Compare this to the Cyclonus of today, who only deigns to grace everyone with his voice if they outright threaten him, have something he wants, or are Tailgate. If he were to ever pull this verbal meandering on board the Lost Light, people would probably assume he’s having a stroke.

Nova Prime- you remember him, don’t you?- gives not a fuck about the Dead Universe, only what it means for him personally. And what it means for him is more locations to subjugate, because he is cartoonishly evil. His character is the least removed from his present-day iteration out of everyone. He tells the crew they’ll be getting a little closer, only for the portal to do the work for them, by way of dark energy tentacles.

Wow, the pilot for the Ark 1 really is just straight-up named Butt, isn’t he? And what the fuck is that face you’re making, Cyclonus? Are you- oh my god, are you emoting? Oh my god, he’s emoting.

As the Ark 1 is pulled to its doom, Jhiaxus makes a quick phone call to Shockwave to tell him he’s his favorite, and to keep up the good work.

In the present, Shockwave reflects on just how friggin’ long this whole ordeal has taken. Fortunately, Waspinator and the Titan are almost here, and he can hardly wait.

Not, uh, that he’s got emotions or anything. It’s been established that he doesn’t have those anymore. Is impatience an emotion? Does that count?

Shockwave seems like he’d be really frustrating to write for.

Anyway, the Titan shows up, the Ore inside him and the Ore in the underground Crystal City combine, and the Titan starts screaming because everything hurts. Shockwave’s about as thrilled as he can be about the situation, given his lack of emotions.

Above Crystal City, we finally get back to that nonsense about the early sunrise, as someone- maybe Starscream, given the color of the narration box- waxes poetic on the planet of Cybertron, wartorn and wild in its rebirth, ruled by paranoia that has nothing to bounce off of, and so creates its own walls.

Then we get a detailed shot of Rattrap’s mug, and the moment is broken.

Rattrap’s character is a lot of fun in everything he gets tossed into, but you’re a goddamn liar if you think he’s pretty to look at. You are lying to yourself, and I won’t apologize for saying it.

Starscream walks out of his room in his hot new body, feeling fine and ready to take on the world. We’ll check in on him later in the day to see how that positive mentality is working out for him.

So, the sun hasn’t moved, and it’s way too early for the sun to even be up right now. That’s weird. Because I guess he didn’t know how the sun works, Starscream’s only just realized that this is perhaps a problem. He does some computer work and realizes that this is indeed a very bad thing, and asks that Rattrap call the Autobots. Not the ones who fucked off into the wilderness, the other ones. The gay, space ones.

Up in space, Orion Pax and his pals have found themselves in dire straits, the collapsing Gorlam Prime sucking their ship back down as the Death Ore consumes everything.

That’s not how engines work! And I think it really says something about the “Prelude” issues that I completely forgot why Wheelie was down an arm for a solid five seconds.

It turns out that Orion was the narrator the entire time, which I should have known- since when is the once and future Optimus Prime not the primary voice in any media he appears in?

It’s looking rough for the fellas, but luckily we’ve got to get the plot rolling, so the Lost Light VZZZZTs into existence and picks up the Skyroller to place it gently into its belly.

Orion isn’t exactly jazzed about the fact that Rodimus didn’t listen to what he told him, not even bothering to thank the guy for saving his life. I say y’all keep going on your Thunderclash Quest and leave this ungrateful loser behind. No space yachting for you, Orion.

The rest of the Pax Posse enter the Lost Light proper, and Hardhead reveals that he nearly joined the Quest, before he saw who all would be coming with, while Garnak has a tearful reunion with Rodimus. The fact that he’s calling him Sir- which I don’t recall him doing in Transformers (2009), at least not in a way that seems reminiscent of an unfortunate Antebellum Period Romance- feels rather weird, but I’m glad someone’s fucking happy to see Rodimus at least. Ultra Magnus asks Orion if he’ll be assuming command of the vessel, as Rodimus tries not to look horrified by the thought alone, but fortunately Orion’s not going to pull his “I’m Optimus Prime and I Can Do What I Want” Card just yet.

Smash cut to the bridge, as Rodimus tries to make himself sound competent, when Starscream calls. Orion doesn’t like that Starscream has their number, Perceptor almost reveals the fact that this ship technically doesn’t belong to a faction, likely due to being purchased after the war, and Cyclonus gets brought in for his professional opinion.

As it turns out, that early sunrise isn’t a sunrise at all, but a portal to the Dead Universe. This is a problem, because the Dead Universe really sucks, and you don’t want to go there, especially if you enjoy being alive. Orion seems more concerned about the fact that Starscream is ruling the planet, and Bumblebee is nowhere to be found.

Speaking of Bumblebee, he and all his camp buddies are psyching themselves up for a confrontation.

Swoop, please, this is hardly the time for crudeness.

The Dinobots, sick of Bumblebee’s dithering about, decide they’re going to fight the fucking sun and gear up. Prowl, though generally disliking their brand of problem-solving, does share his begrudging respect of their can-do attitude.

Their can-do attitude over fighting the fucking sun.

Then an earthquake happens and the ground rips open to reveal that Titan that Waspinator showed up with.

Shockwave takes over the narration at this point, and we get artsy, as we see events that haven’t transpired yet over musings on the nature of... time? Maybe? It would be in line with Roberts’ go-to topics, but honestly the whole thing’s kind of vague so I couldn’t give you a solid answer. Shockwave gets awfully introspective for a guy who shouldn’t care, I know that much. The point is, he is inevitable and is super good at logic and science.

Also, Nova Prime and Galvatron are back, which is cool, I guess. Not sure where Galvatron had gotten to exactly after the events of “Chaos”, but he’s back now, so it doesn’t matter too terribly much. Shockwave serves them, which we’ll probably get an explanation for at some point.

God, you can practically taste the desperation to pin all these plot points together before the entire thing implodes on itself.

#transformers #jro #dark cybertron #issue 1 #maccadam #Hannzreads #overthinking about robots #incoming analysis #text post #long post #comic script writing

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nataliedanovelist · 3 years

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C-137 Vs. 46'\

C-137 Vs. 46'\ = A Gravity Falls & Rick and Morty crossover fic for @stephreynaart! I meant to finish this, like, forever ago, but I did my best and decided this has stayed hidden in my files long enough. I hope y’all enjoy it!

Stanchez for life!!!

~~~~~~~~~~

Episode Placement: GF = after the finale (season 3) R&M = Between S1E10 and E11 (In S2E2, Rick dates 1/12/2015 on the drop-off papers for Jerry. Though Alex hates dating cartoons, it can be estimated that GF took place during 2013 thanks to Sev'ral Timez, so the next summer would be 2014. So… yeah. I put way too much thought into this.)

The vast galaxy in front of them was an endless sea of stars and space-clouds of many different colors. Some were green, some were blue, some were magenta, it honestly looked like a generic Hot Topic galaxy t-shirt.

But Rick didn’t give a shit about some fucking space-clouds or some fucking shop for teenagers who were trying too hard to be goth. Rick didn’t give a shit about the fact that Morty barely knew how to drive the fucking spaceship. Rick only have a shit about getting away from the other fucking spaceships that were after the humans, but he couldn’t drive because Rick had to repair the fucking weapon to kill those fucking bastards. Fuck.

“Aw, geez, Rick, hurry it up!” Morty yelled.

“Don’t tell me how to do my job, Morty!” Rick snapped back as he tinkered with the huge ray-gun that laid by his feet.

The spacecraft jolted to the side as a beam just barely missed it. Rick caught his screwdriver as it flew in the air for a second and he finished the final turn. Rick grinned maliciously and aimed the newest invention out at the enemy. He pulled the trigger and rather than a beam of light or a bullet escaping the gun, it appeared that nothing happened, until each spaceship seemed to be covered with blood and guts from the inside, covering the windows and halting the enemies’ spaceships.

“Oh my God, Rick, what the hell?!” Morty screamed.

“Relax, Morty, you’ve seen worse. It’s just a gun that released microscopic ninjas that slice people up from the inside until they’re nothing b-b-but guts.” Rick burped through the alcohol and leaned on the big gun proudly with a monotone voice and facial expression.

“No, Rick, what the hell IS THAT?!”

Rick looked ahead to see a wormhole of pink, blues, and whites glowing brightly in front of them. Morty was trying to turn the spaceship away, but they were being pulled in by gravity.

“Well, fuck.”

~~~~~~~~~~

Mabel was bouncing like she had springs on the bottoms of her shoes as she held her Grunkle Ford’s hand. They were both wearing ponchos and on their way to the magical part of the forest. Mabel, Dipper, Stan, and Ford had only been back in Gravity Falls for two days and Ford wanted to start off this summer right by bonding with his favorite grandniece in the Multiverse.

Ford felt guilty of the little time they had spent together the previous summer. True, he had arrived home a little late in the season, but he had spent plenty of time bonding with Dipper, leaving not nearly enough for Mabel. Ford loved her very much, but with Dipper things were more predictable. The boy was a lot like him, so Ford knew what to expect and how to bond with him, like playing Dungeons, Dungeons, and More Dungeons or working or investigating an anomaly together. Ford had no clue what twelve… thirteen-year-old girls liked and Mabel’s overwhelming flood of love and affection had startled Ford like an old alley-cat.

Still, he admired her positivity and loved to do arts-and-crafts with her. They had captured time last summer for her to make a beautiful hand-turkey on Ford’s six-fingered hand; she had said that the extra feather made it special. The old scientist had no idea what he had done to deserve Mabel… no, he didn’t deserve Mabel, but she seemed to like him, so he owed her some alone-time. Mabel seemed to like the supernatural almost as much as Dipper (Dipper took a more serious approach to it while Mabel seemed to accept everything with loving arms), so Ford offered to take her out to the magical part of the forest over breakfast and Mabel nearly choked on her Stan-cake out of pure joy.

Now, as the morning sun rose and was nearly above their heads, after about an hour of traveling and quietly talking, they were starting to reach the magical part of the forest.

“So, why do we need ponchos, Grunkle Ford?” Mabel asked as she used her free-hand to play with the yellow hood that was over her beautiful brown hair.

“Because the fairies we’re going to investigate are… rather messy.” Ford landed on. The Barf Fairies used to turn his stomach, but after traveling through dimensions for over thirty years, Ford’s stomach had hardened and since Mabel also seemed to have a strong gag-reflex, he decided that he would try to learn more about the less-than-pleasant type of fairies. “I would hate for them to ruin a Mabel Pines original.” Ford added with a smile down at the young teenager.

Mabel grinned braces-free (she had them removed back in February) up at the old scientist, loving it when he called one of her sweaters a Mabel Pines original, and her eyes twinkled when she saw the blue sweater through Ford’s poncho, the one she had made for him with a golden six-fingered hand on the front, like his old journals. “So, these are…”

“Barf Fairies.”

“Right. What do you already know about them?”

“Only that we should avoid whatever they eat.”

Mabel laughed along with him and said, “Okay. Well… I’ve actually never talked to or met a fairy before, so looks like we’re both starting from square-one. Did you meet any fairies out in the Multiverse?”

“Yes, but they were very different than the one here in Gravity Falls. I once landed in a dimension where the seasons changing was caused by the fairies, and in another dimension I met a giant fairy-queen that looked more like a slug with wings covered in glitter.”

Mabel opened her mouth to contribute to the conversation, but they both heard a noise and stopped walking in the woods. The sound had made them think of clanking metal and yells. They looked up and around at the trees, but a little puff of smoke confirmed that they had heard some sort of machine.

“What was that?” Mabel asked quietly.

“I’m not sure.” Ford said honestly and started to walk them to a clearing.

The two Pines left the cluster of pinetrees so they could look around the skies more clearly. It was a beautiful cloudless early-summer day. As they looked up at the heavens above, a flying-disk of a spaceship was whizzing over their heads, having trouble staying up in the air. Ford held Mabel close in fear of it crashing down near them, but the spaceship staggered over the woods and crashed landed from a safe distance.

“Aliens!” Mabel gasped. “Dipper told me about the one under the town! Do you think this is like that one?”

Ford, whose mind was racing, shook his head to try to think straight, and he said, “No, I… I think I know what it is, but… Mabel, I’m afraid the Barf Fairies are going to have to wait.”

Mabel peeled off her poncho and shook her hair free, revealing her purple sweater with a heart and sunglasses on it that matched her red skirt and headband. Ford also took off his poncho, pocketed both of the big yellow articles of clothing in his trenchcoat, but then pulled out his gun. He opened his mouth to tell Mabel to stay close, but she already pulled out her grappling hook and was standing behind Ford, waiting for him to lead the way.

Ford crept back into the woods with Mabel behind him. He had a good idea of what had crashed into Gravity Falls, but he had hoped that he was wrong. He didn’t want Mabel to meet him. Ford was hoping he would never show up in this dimension, but if he was still traveling around the Multiverse…

A low hissing noise from a busted engine told Ford and Mabel where to go. They only had to walk a minute before the spaceship came into view, landing in between two trees and leaving a trail of up-turned dirt in its path before coming to a halt. Ford and Mabel slowly moved towards the ship with their weapons in hand, but they found it unnecessary as a boy stumbled out and coughed into a fist, on his hands and knees and ruffled from the crash.

“Oh geez, oh man, we’re dead. We’re dead. We survived, but we’re dead.” The boy moaned as he slowly stood up. He looked about Mabel’s age, had short brown hair, and wore jeans and a yellow t-shirt with white sneakers.

Mabel pocketed her grappling hook while Ford let his arms fall to his side, but he kept the weapon in hand, just in case. “Huh. That was… not what I was expecting.” Ford said, more to himself than to Mabel.

Mabel stepped forward with her hands up kindly and she cleared her throat, gaining the boy’s attention. He blinked at the two humans and Mabel said in a soft voice, “Uh, hi, I’m Mabel. Are you hurt?”

“What?” The boy asked. He seemed jittery from the crash, his eyes darting and his forehead glistening with sweat. “Uh, n-no. No, I’m fine. I’m…”

“MORTY!”

The boy groaned and squeezed his eyes shut as he tilted his head upward. “Yup, that’s my name. Morty.”

An older man in a white lab-coat with blue-white hair stumbled out of the spaceship, and not out of drunkenness for a change. “Morty, you little…”

“Sanchez.” Ford growled and covered Mable’s ears. He knew this guy had a foul tongue, and while Ford and his brother might have sailors’ mouths, at least he and Stan knew to censor themselves around the kids. Ford’s old friend didn’t.

The old man in the lab-coat looked at Ford and his eyes widened in shock before he grinned. “Oh, no way! Good to see you again, Fordsie!” He laughed, amused by the scenario in front of him. “Great, another genius. Mind giving me a hand with this piece of… erm, crap?”

Ford groaned and pinched the bridge of his nose. “Fine, the sooner I can get you out of my home dimension, the better.”

The man Grunkle Ford had called Sanchez appeared shocked again and he dug around his coat. “Wait, wait, wait. Your home dimension?” Sanchez pulled out a white flat gun with a green bulb on top and he seemed to be reading off a tiny screen. “Huh. Dimension 46’\. This one’s way out of the loop. There’s no way I could’ve gotten you home with this thing. How did you manage to pull that off?”

“Long story.” Ford said and pocketed his hand in his trenchcoat.

“Grunkle Ford,” Mabel piped and smiled up at the visitor. “Who’s this?”

Ford looked down at his niece and decided to share this piece of his thirty-year-long journey in the Multiverse with her. “Sweetie, this is my old acquaintance, Rick Sanchez. Rick, this is my great-niece, my brother Sherman’s granddaughter, Mabel.”

“Oh, hey, nice to meet you, little lady.” Rick said with a small smile and then jabbed a thumb back at Morty. “That little screw-up is my grandson, Morty.”

“Oh, yeah, like you could do any better, Rick.” Morty huffed with crossed-arms over his thin chest.

“I could do better, Morty,” Rick said and rounded on his grandson. “You know what else I can do? I can also leave you behind on Asteroid 3924987, but I won’t. I can also feed you to a five-headed mega-bird from Bird-Person’s homeworld, but I won’t. I can also send you to the citadel and trade you in for a new Morty, but I won’t, as long as you quit being a pain in the ass.”

“Rick, please!” Ford hissed.

“It’s okay, Grunkle Ford, I heard worse when I went to get a snack and Stan was watching football.” Mabel giggled, remembering the other night when Stan’s team was losing and he let out a long stream of colorful swears that made him turn red when he realized Mabel had heard him.

“Of course you have.” Ford groaned and shook his head. “Well, let’s see what the damage is, Sanchez. What caused the crash? Did your micro-verse battery finally start a rebellion?”

“No, because they know if they do, I’ll get a new battery, Genius. When we came to this dimension through a wormhole we hit a mountain side and a part broke off here…”

The two old men examined the spacecraft and were discussing ways to fix it, meanwhile Morty walked up to Mabel and rubbed an arm nervously. “So, uh… I guess they met out in the Multiverse, huh?”

Mabel nodded; she didn’t know how these two old men knew each other or why these two humans were in a spaceship, but based on context clues, Morty’s guess made the most sense. “Wait, so you two are from another dimension?”

“Yeah, pretty much.” Morty said with a shrug. “This is 46'\, right? My dimension is C-137.”

“Wow, cool!” Mabel said with shining eyes that threw Morty for a loop. “So, what’s different over there? Was Benjamin Franklin a man and never accomplished anything? Are dinosaurs still alive? Oo! I bet your sky is lavender-purple all the time, right?!”

Morty laughed a little and rubbed his arm again. “Uh, no. It’s, I think, pretty much the same as yours. My Grandpa Rick says there’s an infinite number of realities that are just slightly different from one another. M-M-Maybe the difference between C-137 and 46'\ is so small and unimportant it’s not obvious.”

“Oh, okay,” Mabel peered over to watch Rick and Ford work together for a little bit and then she smiled back at Morty. “So, do you always go on adventures with your Grandpa Rick?”

Morty sighed in a shaky puberty-voice and nodded. “Yeah, he’s always making me go on these stupid adventures with him.”

“What?” Mabel gasped with a smile. “They’re not stupid! I’d love to go to a different dimension with my Grunkle Ford! I’ve already been on one with him and Grunkle Stan when they had to rescue me from Dimension Mab3L. The other mes were a little self-centered, but it was a lot of fun to punch myself in the face and rescue my great-uncles.”

“Yeah, but from the sounds of it, your - what did you say, Grunkle Ford? - is nice to you.” Morty pointed out. “My Grandpa Rick treats me like garbage all the time, but then again he treats everyone like garbage, so at least he’s only signaling me out to stay hidden from the Federation or whatever.”

“Oh.” Mabel said quietly and held her hands behind her back bashfully, unsure of how to respond, but she decided to try to make Morty feel better. “Well, my other great-uncle, Grunkle Stan, is a little tough sometimes, but that’s only because he cares about his family and is toughening us up for a tougher world. He’s my hero!”

“That sounds nice.” Morty said with a small smile. He didn’t think Rick cared about his family like this Stan guy, but Morty wasn’t in the mood to kill Mabel’s optimism. “I like your sweater, by the way.”

“Thanks!” Mabel grinned proudly. “I made it!”

Morty’s eyes widened. “Wow, really?” Mabel held out her arm so Morty could feel her sleeve. “Oh my God, that’s amazing! You’re really talented.”

“Hey, thanks! If you want, I can make you one!”

“R-R-Really? You’d do that for me?”

“Sure! What’s your favorite color?”

“Uh… y-yellow.”

“Got it!”

Ford and Rick walked up to the teenagers and the six-fingered researcher said, “Well, I’m afraid the ship lost a part we need, but luckily I have the materials we need to build one in the lab back home.”

“Great!” Mabel said and grinned. “Let’s go! So, how did you two meet, anyway?”

Ford and Mabel led the way with Rick and Morty closely behind. “We met about twenty years ago in a high-security prison. I remember feeling relieved to see another human. I had been without human contact for a little under two years at the time since I had been stranded on some desert planet.”

“Yeah, this nerd got into big trouble for the extinction of a few million species on Planet 8824816.”

“What?!” Mabel gasped and looked up at her great-uncle, unable to believe that he would cause such mass genocide. “Grunkle Ford, you didn’t?!”

“Of course I didn’t, Mabel.” Ford quickly reassured his niece. “That was the planet I thought was a sandwich. Anyway, at least I didn’t do what Rick was in for…”

“What did he do?”

“I purposely caused mass genocide on Sector 56, Dimension “”113.” Rick said in a scaringly monotone voice.

“What?!”

“Rick!” Ford and Morty both scolded at the same time.

“Hey, it was either me or the Valakawns!” Rick snapped back. “Those bloodsucking leeches didn’t see what hit them, until the Federation caught me hanging from a tree upside-down, passed out and drunk.”

“Alright, enough!” Ford said firmly. “Let’s just build the part we need so we can get you two back to your home dimension. And, Mabel, once they’re gone we’re going to patch the wormhole with alien adhesive.”

“Okay. Last thing we want is for Dipper to get stuck in Dimension Dipp-3R or something.”

“Who’s Dipper?” Morty asked quietly.

“My twin brother!”

“Oh, cool! I don’t have a twin, but I have met multiple versions of myself.”

“Hey, me too! I’ve met Table-Mabel, Explainble, Threebel, Military-Expert-Mabel, Brainbel, T-Rex-Mabel, Fire-Mabel, and even Anti-Mabel!”

“I’ve met an Evil-Morty with one eye-patch who worked for the worst Rick in the Multiverse. I’ve also… Well, let’s just say I’ve met a lot of mes.”

The two teenagers talked while the two old men chatted on ways to fix the ship as they got closer to the Mystery Shack. Rick looked up and down the place and then snorted, amused. “Huh. Not the kind of place I’d expect from Mr. Stick-In-The-Mud over here.”

“My brother had to make some… changes in order to pay off the mortgage.” Ford explained and led the way to the back door. He opened it and said, “My lab is downstairs behind the vending machine in the gift shop. I believe Soos is giving a tour, so it should be safe to enter.”

“Gift shop?” Rick laughed and poked Ford’s shoulder. “When did you get so soft?”

“I am not< soft.” Ford said dignified.

“You’re wearing a blue sweater with a gold six-fingered hand.”

“My niece made it for me!” Ford said proudly and puffed out his chest.

Mabel rolled her eyes with blushing chubby cheeks and a smile and decided to let the old guys fight. She took Morty’s hand and said, “Come on! I’ll show you my room! I have a huge sticker collection you’ll love!”

“Oh, okay!” Morty said and allowed her to drag her up to the attic; it was nice being dragged to something nice and safe rather than some new monster of a different dimension.

“But hey, you turned your lab into a gift shop.” Rick was saying while the teenagers did their own thing. “Least you’re making a profit.” Ford wasn’t sure if Rick was being sincere or not.

“Actually, it’s all my brother’s.” Ford said and waved the subject away. “We’re getting off track. Let's just get you and your grandson out of my dimension.”

“Geez, you used to be way more fun.” Rick said with sagged shoulders. “What happened to the guy who ranked up million on Lottocron Nine and got tattoos with octopus-armed piglets? What happened to the interdimensional criminal who once shot fifty Bureaucrats to save a fellow scientist’s ass?”

“He discovered what was most important, Sanchez.” Ford growled with his arms crossed over his chest.

“Oh, HO!” A voice laughed as he shook his head and left the kitchen. “I know this guy isn’t talking about Mr. Goody-Nerds-Shoes!”

Ford pinched the bridge of his nose. The last thing he wanted was for his twin and his old friend to meet, but it seemed like some greater being(s) really wanted this to happen, so here we go.

Rick grinned at the sight of a conman in his suit and fez, with a can in his hand, instantly giving Rick the vibe that this guy couldn’t be trusted but would be a hit at parties and wasn’t a total snitch. “Now THIS is what I’m talking about! Name’s Rick, Ford Two.”

Stan barked a laugh and shook his hand. “The name’s Stan, Genius. And please for the love of Moses you weren’t just talking about my brother?”

“Are you kidding, this guy was a total badass!” Rick jabbed a thumb back at the fuming scientist. “He was a total idiot, had no clue how the Multiverse worked, but he was always willing to barrel into whatever crap was out there and destroy some shit!”

“Okay, you and I need to talk.” Stan tossed him the can of soda and went into the kitchen to get some snacks. “I wanna hear more about what kind of crazy violent nomad Ford was back in the day!”

“You got it! Just tell me how the hell he ended up with a cool twin? What, did you inherit all the fun traits leaving him with hobbies like collecting alien stamps?”

Stan barked a laugh and was back, looping an arm around his skinny neck. “I love this guy! Now, please tell me you were there when he got his stupid tattoo.”

“Stanley,” Ford scolded. “We’re supposed to be working on building the part he needs so he can go home. Rick and his grandson are stranded here…”

“Please, I can make that piece of shit from scratch in my sleep.” Rick said. “And Morty’s fine. That niece of yours will keep his small brain entertained for hours.” He turned to Stan and asked, “You got any booze, we had a rough crash here and I need a drink.”

“I got a secret stash in my room,” Stan muttered. “I don’t like drinking with the kids here, but I guess you can have a shot of whisky to relax. Want some soda?”

“Sure, why not. There’s a bit in my flask to last.”

And the old men walked away for the ‘Employees Only’ part of the house, leaving Ford to grit his teeth in annoyance and then bite his lip in discomfort. This could only end one way and he was not looking forward to it.

To be continued...

#gravity falls #rick and morty #stanchez #gift #fanfiction

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realyouearthing01 · 3 years

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The benefits and advantages of Earthing / Grounding for animals/pets – Grounding to the Earth

As you will discover in this post, pets also benefit from Earthing / Grounding. So here is the testimony of different people who tell their experience with their animals and Earthing / Grounding, the connection to the earth.

When indoors, pets sense something familiar and beneficial when they come in contact with an Earthing mat or other grounding product. They are definitely drawn to Earthing. Although they can’t articulate what they feel, their actions and responses speak louder than words, as these accounts clearly indicate:. Here is a sampling of feedback:

Extending Quality and Quantity of Life

The second edition of the Earthing book (2014) included a report from Sandra Wong, a musician in Boulder, Colorado, about how Earthing was helping her aged Grand Pyrenees dog, “Raffie.”

In 2013, she had first told us that “Raffie,” then 11, was suffering from severe, painful arthritis and multiple structural issues. She had exhausted conventional options, including medication that just made him sick to his stomach. She was reluctantly considering putting him down. Then a friend suggested Earthing and she obtained an Earthing throw for the dog. The results, she said, were striking. “Raffie” began resting and sleeping grounded. His energy amazingly returned, as did his mobility and zest for life.

In April 2014, the dog passed. “He made it to a miraculous 12 years of age, almost unheard of for his breed,” Sandra told us. “Grounding gave him an entire extra year of life and with quality that I didn’t think was possible.”

In early 2015, she told us she has helped other animals with Earthing. “The week before ‘Raffie’ passed, ‘Mosey,’ went into a steep downward spiral and was diagnosed with the lumbosacral disease, among other things. She’s another one of my Pyrenees. Her back legs were going out much of the time. She had full urinary and fecal incontinence. The vets didn’t have much to offer but after several months of using homeopathic remedies and encouraging her to spend more time on the Earthing throw, she has made a rather miraculous turnaround. She has been able to walk to and from the backyard without assistance. Her urinary incontinence and 99 percent of all accidents have stopped in the last three months. ‘Mosey’ is now 13 years old and a few months, and although fragile, she’s going stronger than I could have imagined possible with the only changes being nerve tonic (homeopathic), Traumeel (homeopathic), and her Earthing throw.”

Sandra continued: “A friend of mine has a rescue black Lab/chow mix with severe hip dysplasia. The old dog took a turn for the worse with the coming of colder weather. The pain meds he was prescribed left him lethargic, yelping, and disoriented. My friend put him on similar homeopathic as ‘Mosey’ and installed an Earthing throw, as I had done, in the dog’s bed. Now, two months later, it’s as if the dog was two years younger. He’s clear-eyed, connected, happy, and exhibited significantly less pain.

“Earthing also helped my mother’s dog, my grandmother’s dog, and my other Pyrenees, ‘Serafina.’”

In 2017, we heard from Sandra again. Both “Mosey” (14 ½) and “Serafina” (13 ½) had died the year before, 18 days apart. “However, both of them had a good quality of life up until the very end, despite their advanced age, with the help of the Earthing throw,” she said. “’ Serafina’ had a stroke shortly after ‘Mosey’ passed. I think she missed her sister.

“All this is to say, in my experience, Earthing is incredibly helpful to animals, including older ones with sensitive systems who reactive negatively to strong medications.”

Less Shedding

From Yavor Kresic in Ottawa: “My Siamese ‘Alexander’ loves going on the mat. I’ve noticed that he hardly sheds now. He’s an older cat and rarely goes out.”

More Comfort, Less Itching

From Ambien Hay of Vero Beach, Florida: “‘Jackson,’ my Jack Russell, loved his Earthing mat. It relieved his arthritis and pain due to Lyme disease during the last years of his life. He died at 16. After sleeping on it all night, he clearly felt more comfortable in the morning, as he pranced outside and had his breakfast.

“‘Sailor,’ my 12-year-old Westie, heads for his Earthing mat any chance he gets! He has been Earthing for more than eight years and is healthy and happy. The mat helped relieve his skin allergies and itchiness. He hogs my Earthing mat under the computer desk, his favorite place to snooze.

“All creatures large and small love to be connected to Mother Earth!”

In 2012, Karen Kolczak from Phoenix told us she obtained a mat for her cat after experiencing the benefits of Earthing herself. She said: “My old cat doesn’t get outside much anymore, but now she is going up and down the stairs much more frequently and curls up to me purring on the bed as if to say ‘thanks mom.’”

In early 2015, Karen reported that her cat had passed away and that she brought a new cat into the house who “loves the mat as well.”

Togetherness

New Hampshire researcher James Oschman sent this picture (below) from a doctor friend who commented: “Here are my daughter’s three cats. Ordinarily, they stake out separate rooms for their morning naps, but this is what they’ve been doing since I came to visit and installed an Earthing sheet on the guest bed.”

More Togetherness

From Linda Olk in Winston-Salem: “I have five dogs and a cat. And most of them, along with me, have been Earthing since 2013. The dogs get their indoor ‘dosing’ at night like I do, and sleep on the Earthing sheet I put over the sofa. Sometimes all of them pile on at one time. From time to time, some of them jump into my bed and onto the Earthing sheet. I have to shoo them off.

“The animals have all been in good health. After I added the Earthing sheet, they absolutely became calmer. Not that they had been rowdy or unruly, but they carried a certain agitation. That changed a lot.

“When the cat developed an infection from a bite, I noticed he spent more time than usual stretched full out on the Earthing mat I placed in the living room under my desk. The cat usually stays outside, right on the ground, under a tree, except when it’s very cold. Then I set the mat out and typically he gravitates to it.

“After I bought an Earthing yoga mat for myself, the dogs, and even the cat, want to lay on it. I sometimes have to shove them off when it comes time to do my exercise.”

It Works in Finland, too

Sisko Pynnonen from Kangasniemi says her dog usually sleeps on the floor during the winter and outside on the ground when the weather is warmer. “After I put an Earthing sheet on my bed, ‘Tahvo’ started to climb up into the bed in order to be able to sleep on the sheet. One night he even brought a bone into the bed. He seems to sigh with relief when he sleeps on the sheet…and sleeps there all night!”

Satu Laitinen, from Siilinjarvi, says her cats love the Earthing plush pad and compete to use it.

Maine Cats Know When They Need Mother Earth

From JJ, in Maine: “My two indoor cats don’t seem unusually drawn to Earthing sheets or their grounded pet beds when they’re healthy. However, when my cat Cleo had an inflamed paw pad, we noticed her resting on my daughter’s Earthing sheet in an unusual manner, with her arm stretched straight out in front of her, the sore paw pad placed gingerly on the grounded sheet.

“My other cat, ‘Pixie’ is an obsessive washer. Since she’s been sleeping grounded (two years), her fur has grown back on her sides and some on her tummy. Grounding seems to relax her and reduce the hyperexcitability of her condition.”

Don’t Get Crushed!

From Deborah Ebbers, Suttons Bay, Michigan: “I have a story concerning my earthing journey, started one and a half months ago. I bought the earthing mat for my bed and the results have been very positive; deep sleep, arthritic pain reduction, calm energy… and now my dog (who sleeps with me) has decided that since I’m earthed that it is perfectly natural for her to sleep on top of me……. there’s one little problem…she’s a Great Dane. Beatrix is 116 pounds!”

They Hog the Bed!

From Tina Morin, a German Shepherd breeder in North Bay, Ontario: “I have 7 dogs and they all try to get a piece of the mat on the floor lol I have a sheet on my bed and sometimes I catch them up on there too. They all sleep on it or on my bed lol as I have a grounding sheet there. They sure gravitate to grounding.”

Golden Retriever in Healing High Gear

Karen Poizin of Chippewa Falls, Wisconsin, reported that “Lance,” her Golden Retriever, had surgery to remove a large lipoma in his armpit in December of 2013. He slept on a pet mat during his recovery and, according to the veterinarian, “he healed quickly.”

“Juniper the Rat” − Life after a Stroke

Diane Higgins, of Toronto, is an ardent animal rescuer. “From fish to horses,” she says, and including rats. In 2015, she communicated to us about “Juniper,” her very senior and nearly three-year-old hooded female pet rat. The rodent had had a stroke, a fairly common affliction among elderly rats, and often fatal.

“I’ve become all too familiar with the symptoms but this time I had a new weapon and so I decided to use one of the Earthing bands,” Diane recounted. “Rats, no matter how well we feed and take care of them, don’t live very long, but if this could improve the quality of her life, I was all for it. Often there’s nothing you can do to help them in these situations, the time between a stroke and their unfortunate demise is swift.

“’ Juniper’ is one tough little gal. She had difficulty getting around so I decided to try the band on her and within twenty minutes she was able to raise her head. Within an hour she was able to use her legs again. After a few hours, she exhibited more mobility and was able to lift her head.

“I put her in a safe, warm, and comfortable location with the band attached (she had wiggled out of it once, but I got her back into it) and she settled in and let the band do its thing.

“I got the shock of my life the next morning. ‘Juniper’ had climbed onto the roof of her mouse house ALL BY HERSELF!! She climbed up and ate breakfast! She gave me a bit of trouble getting her into the band this morning but I got her in. She has MUCH better mobility and is much improved.

“She does the rat equivalent of purring (bruxing) when she is in the band. This can also occur when a rat is upset, but she seems to be a happy little rat when she does this.

“On the third day, she was having less problem holding her food, all the red stuff around her eyes is gone. That’s porphyrin, a secretion indicative of stress, sickness, or poor diet. Her eyes look clear and her coat feels silky.”

“On day five, she continued doing well. She has made daily progress. The old girl is now able to get all the way up to the third tier of the cage. She seems to recognize her limitations with ‘down.’ She actually signals me when she wants to come down and I either pick her up and place her on the bottom of the cage or I gently ‘escort’ her with my hand and assist her.

“She has never eaten commercial pet food. She gets filtered water, organic fruits, vegetables, nuts, and seeds, as well as avocadoes, bananas, mangoes, grapes, corn on the cob, carrot, spinach leaves, kale, and chaff from my juicing as well.

“Everything has worked in harmony. TLC without Earthing or Earthing without TLC would not have produced these results. When I first started this therapy with her, I was thinking she might not last another day. But she is doing so well and has been a great surprise.”

A week later Diane reported: “She is doing amazing!! She was able to fend off her younger companion ‘Thea,’ when I gave her one of her favorite treats, a piece of Pita bread. ‘Thea’ does NOT share. ‘Juniper’ is now able to drink out of the water bottle on the second cage level now. Her front paws are no longer tensed up and she is able to wash like she used to. She appears very calm and does that bruxing thing, which is so cute and endearing. OMG, she is so smart!”

“Juniper” lived actively for more than a month after her stroke, and then died peacefully. “I hadn’t expected her really to live another day after her stroke,” reported Diane. “She was a real trooper.”

Sweet Dreams

“I actually had to buy myself a second Earthing mat, because the minute I put my mat on the floor to put my feet on while watching TV, my Golden Retriever immediately would make a beeline for it. He then falls into a wonderfully deep sleep with lots of squirrel chasing dreams. For me, this disproves the Earthing doubters who explain Earthing benefits as a placebo effect. Both my dog and I know that earthing REALLY works!”

For more information, please visit https://realyouearthing.com/

#Earthing / Groundingn #animals #health #home & lifestyle #cat dog

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seasurfacefullofclouds1 · 4 years

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Hypothetically if Zouis did fall out over Harry why did they wait until Zayn left to do it? They were always really close but 2014ish we were getting continuous pics of them together. They vacationed together. They always seemed together. On Zayns last performance they were so close. It was weird because there were articles in the media at the time saying they were more distant and not close anymore, as if foreshadowing their fall out, but we saw the opposite of what the media was saying. I dont get that. They claimed one thing but proof says the opposite. Not 100% but I think 2014 or 2015 was when Zayn revealed on IG he was only following Louis from 1D. They were so close then fall out suddenly happened when Zayn left. In 1d, especially later years, Zayn clearly disliked Harry. He was rolling his eyes at him in interviews and making comments under his breath. We saw the clip of Harry handing Zayn a water bottle and Zayn chucked it. He seemed to hate Harry but he never stopped being close to Louis during 1d so if Larry were together at the time Zayn must have kept his hate for Harry a secret which means we can read him much better than the people in a band with him lol. Something doesn't add up. It's weird and confusing. Anyway there is no way the guys didn't know solo Harry was happening. They're not stupid. He was favoured by Syco since the beginning. They would have wondered why he spent all his time with Ben Winston. Why he was always next to interviewer. Why camera always focused on him. Why he got the big parts in videos. They experienced that. They'd be able to put the puzzle pieces together. If we could see it then they could. Especially Louis who looked out for the others. Remember too that Zayn said he didn't write his 1d leaving statement. It's weird and hard to put together. So much we don't know.

I agree with all the boys knowing about solo Harry, but it’s possible that even Harry didn’t know the full extent of the fallout (on the others).

I also agree that Louis’ loyalties were torn, and he did not see the way which he would be used after the hiatus.

I believe Zouis really did fall out. It is shady, as you said.

#zouis

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roseandreason · 3 years

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Buying a House, Mortgages

How many times have you been having a conversation with a friend or family member and said the following words ‘I wish they had taught me this in school’

Me and my husband agree! The amount of times we have said this over the years is genuinely scary and it really makes you wonder, why don’t they?!

Some examples we have often discussed over the years….

Interest rates

Credit Cards and finance applications

The list goes on, but the big one…..Mortgages!!!

Me and my husband are very lucky to have owned (with a mortgage) and lived in our own home for nearly 5 years now, and more recently due to lockdowns and furlough, finally got our home how we want it, its finished!

Ok, I don’t think a house is ever finished, I think you end up in a constant circle of re decorating or living situations changing so you change it up a bit, but for now, I have nothing in my Dunelm basket for the first time in a while!

However I have jumped ahead quite a few years, let’s go back a bit….

Owning my own home, honestly, never really bothered me, growing up it was never something I aspired to. Now if you read my last blog you may be starting to think I never aspired to anything, I didn’t have job goals and now I didn’t even want to own my own house?! What I mean to say is, I didn’t see the appeal or the pros of owning your own home? That is until, I met my then boyfriend and now husband.

Titch, ever since we started seeing each other voiced that he wanted to own his own home, and the more he spoke about it the more this dream became mine too. Now what I think most people want to read here and also what I wanted to happen was someone to wave a magic wand and we would have the money for our own home, they all lived happily ever after.

Nope!

Me and Titch started dating (is dating a thing in the UK?!) each other in 2009, and I would say we actively started saving for a deposit on a house at the end of 2014/beginning of 2015. Me moved into our new home July 2016. So we were actively saving for around 18 months!

Let me be the first person to say, I’m not great at saving, especially when its for something that I can’t see, for example a house, and when it seems so far away or thats It’s going to take forever. I found it really hard to find the motivation to keep putting as much money away as possible without seeing an instant reward.

Because of this my biggest advise to saving for a house (or anything) is to not completely deny yourself any luxuries in this time, because in the end you’ll just start to resent saving and not put your heart into it or splurge big on something else! Go to the cinema, go for some food out with friends, treat yourself to little things, just don’t do it every week! There were certain compromises I made when saving for a house, for example selling my car, I loved my car (Feefee the Fiesta, I name all my cars, I think its weird if you don’t to be honest!) and I think for anybody that drives they will understand the freedom it gives you, however it was £200 a month I could save and put straight into savings, so it went. I still could get to and from work by bus and as Titch still had a car I didn’t feel totally isolated! Compromise!

Me and Titch were very lucky that we could live with my parents while we were saving, we paid rent to them but not anything compared to what I know rent prices can be, this was a huge help to us and meant it took us a much shorter amount of time than what it would to save what we needed. I would recommend this to anyone where its an option, stay at home as long as possible!

Me and Titch first started looking for our dream home in November 2015 as we knew we would have the deposit we needed within the next few months. We already had a mortgage in principle (this is worked out by the bank and gives you an idea of the price of a home you can afford based on factors such as your earnings and outgoings expected when you own a home) initially we started looking at homes that were 2 bedrooms as although we could afford bigger we thought for our first home, that size would be ideal, one of the best decisions we made was to buy a 3 bed, as honestly I think after 2 or 3 years max we would have outgrown a 2 bed and already have moved into our second home by now, however the 3 bed home we purchased we have room to grow into and hopefully start a family in without loosing space to have guests visit!

Another piece of advise…always let your parents be involved in home hunting, me and Titch thought we had found the perfect property and were ready to put in an offer, so we asked my parents to come and view the house, the great thing about having parents be involved is they offer an alternative perspective not through rose tinted glasses, at the time I found the criticism of the house really hard to hear, as I had fallen in love with the house, but upon reflection and when we had found the home we eventually purchased I was happy to admit they had been right about everything on the previous home and honestly, saved us from making a huge mistake. Parents have done it all before, let them help! (To this day they have never said ‘I told you so’ they just wanted to help!)

Me and Titch purchased a Taylor Wimpey new build in Attleborough, and for all the bad press there is about new builds, I cannot disagree more, we had a great experience, had minimal issues, and when it comes to moving again, we have both agreed new build is the route we would probably take again.

Because we purchased a new build we had to put down a 10% deposit rather than the 5% we had been planning on, therefore we were left short on the money we had saved, so we used the help to buy scheme, which again me and Titch had a great experience with, rather than going into too many details here, message me if you need more info!

With buying a house, similar to other topics I have discussed so far, there always seems to be a competition related to ‘when someone purchased their first home’ and whilst I think a lot of this stems from proud parents, and absolutely people should be proud, its a huge achievement!! However it should not be a competition, me and Titch were together for 7 years before we moved into our home, I was 24 he was 26, it worked for us, do what works for you and when you feel is the right time!

Also, mortgages are simply not as scary as people make out, get yourself a great mortgage advisor and they will make it easier than you can imagine! ours was incredible and has helped us for two remortgages since!

Buying our house was absolutely the right thing to do, we have something that is ours, that we can change, grow into and build a future in, not paying someone else’s mortgage, but our own! At the moment we plan on staying in this home for the next 2 years at least, I hate thinking about the time we out grow this home as its filled with so many memories, but we can make new ones when the time comes!

As always let me know your thoughts, are you saving, what worked or hasn’t worked for you?!

Belle X

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marisaaa · 4 years

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The story of us

Robron week day 7 - History (not the fic theme i cheated)

AO3 link here

Seb struggles with a relationship and Aaron gives him advice through his own experiences.

Seb was out on a date with his girlfriend. Emily, she was called. They’d met at school and had been dating for a few months now – it was their three-month anniversary. Seb had an idea to take her to the cricket pavilion, he made a picnic and they were going there for lunch.

Aaron and Robert were sat at the table in the kitchen, Robert was going over some haulage contracts and Aaron was scrolling through his phone when the door slammed.

They both turned towards the noise, glancing at each other briefly.

“Seb?” Aaron called, standing up from his chair and walking towards the door.

A red eyed and puffy Seb walked through the door, sniffing and wiping at his eyes. He was looking down at the floor, averting his eyes from his dad’s as he made his way over to the stairs.

“Hey, Seb.” Aaron rushed to grab his arm, “What happened?”

Seb pulled his arm free and sighed, still not making eye contact, “We broke up, that’s all.”

Robert put down the piece of paper he was holding, looking at Aaron who glanced back at him with sad eyes. “Oh, mate. I’m sorry.” He said gently.

Seb bit his lip and nodded his eyes, “It’s fine. It’s my fault anyway.”

“What do you mean its your fault?” Aaron asked, resting his hand onto Seb’s shoulder, “If you said anything, I’m sure she knows you didn’t mean it-”

“I told her I loved her.” Seb blurted out, finally looking between his dads.

Both Aaron and Robert’s mouths opened in shock, completely clueless on what to say.

Seb nodded and wiped at his eyes again, “I told her I loved her, and she couldn’t say it back.” He sucked in a harsh breath as he looked up the stairs. “I’m just- I’m going up to my room.”

He smiled sadly at the floor as he slowly made his way upstairs, quickening his pace as he got to the top and quickly closing his bedroom door.

Aaron let out a sigh and slowly wandered over to the table to sit opposite Robert. “Wow.” He breathed out, watching Robert nod and look upstairs.

“I can’t believe it.” He said quietly, “I didn’t think they were that serious.”

“Me neither,” Aaron admitted, “Do you think- what he said is the whole story?”

“What do you mean?” Robert quizzed, looking back at him, leaning his elbows on the table.

Aaron let out a breath and chewed on his lip, “I mean, do you think maybe she just- she stuttered or hesitated and he was- I don’t know, he was nervous and took it as denial.”

Robert looked like he was contemplating it before sighing and looking down at the contracts again, “I don’t know, but don’t push him. If he thinks we don’t believe him, we’ll never get anything out of him.”

“Gets that from you.” Aaron teased, laughing slightly when Robert pulled a face. “No, I think I know what to do.”

Seb was lying on his bed, his earbuds plugged in and a random song that he found on the family downloads playing. The blinds were shut, and his light was off. He tried to close his eyes and go to sleep, try to pretend that today hadn’t happened.

He tried not to look at the notifications popping up on his phone but the temptation was still there. He sneaked a look and saw the 5 missed calls and messages

Em: Seb please call me back, we need to talk.

Em: I need to explain myself, just please pick up.

He turned his phone over and shoved his head into the pillow. He was only sixteen. He knew his first love wasn’t going to be his last, he’d found that out from his dads and their own stories but actually living through it was a lot harder than he had expected.

A knock on his door kicked him out of his thoughts and he grunted into his pillow, wishing whoever it was could leave him to wallow. They knocked again though, and his room was suddenly filtered with light from the landing. He turned to face the open door to see Aaron stood there, a bowl in his hand.

“Your dad made- well burned popcorn if you want it.” He said gently, leaning against the doorframe.

Seb just shook his head and turned back around to face away from him. He didn’t leave, instead he just closed the door, turned a lamp on and sat down on the side of the bed.

“I don’t want to talk.” He murmured, bringing the duvet over his head.

He heard Aaron shuffle around and then something heavy was placed on his leg. “I don’t want you to talk, I want you to read.”

“What?” Seb asked, confused as he turned around in his duvet to sit up against the headboard. Aaron gestured towards the book that was now laying next to him on the bed. He picked it up. It was dark leather and had an elastic tie around the front to hold it closed. “What is this?”

Aaron took a deep breath in and unhooked the elastic band, opening the book. “It’s my diary.”

Seb scoffed, “You have a diary?”

“No. Not anymore.” Aaron quickly defended himself, “When I was younger. It helped, a lot. Before I had a counsellor, I would write all my messed up thoughts in that diary.”

Seb opened the front cover. He recognised the scrawl of his dad’s handwriting on the first page.

“December 4th 2014”

“Dad, I- why are you showing me this?” He stammered, closing the book and pushing it back over to Aaron.

“I thought you might like to see it from another point of view.” Aaron explained.

“What do you mean?”

“Read it.” Aaron told him as he pushed the diary back onto his lap and stood up, “You’ll understand what I mean.”

Aaron walked out the room slowly and quietly closed the door behind him, leaving Seb holding the diary on his lap.

It was weird. Seb felt weird, reading his dad’s diary. He knew that even though he was told to read it, he almost felt like he was doing something wrong.

His phone pinged again,

Em: I’m sorry, I really am. Please just text me or call me so we can talk. Whenever you’re ready.

He turned the phone off, pushing it off his bed so it landed with a thump on the carpet. He took a deep breath in and opened the book.

December 4th, 2014

I don’t know what’s going on. I want to scream it, I want to tell my mum, paddy, vic, anyone. I’m confused, I’m angry, I’m jealous. Why am I jealous? Because he’s with Chrissie?

Robert Sugden kissed me. He kissed me and then he came back for more. He’s hiding, though. He’s scared to admit what he really is.

Maybe I should just stay away from him.

Seb had heard this story a million times. How his dads were so in love with each other that they couldn’t keep away. How his dad didn’t regret the breaking up of his first marriage, as long as it meant he could be himself, with Aaron.

He skipped ahead a few pages, skim reading a few words every now and then. His writing was rather large on the page so he could get the gist of what each entry involved. Almost every page started with the word Robert.

March 26th 2015

Robert told me loved me. I know I’ve said it before, I know how I feel. It’s not just because I want him suffer. Ok, maybe I do, considering what he put me through. But I do love him. No matter how hard I try to tell myself I don’t, that he’s bad for me. I do. And I can’t get over the fact.

Seb groaned at the soppyness and skipped a bunch of pages. One page had scribbles and doodles around the outside, angry ones.

July 19th 2016

So, Robert’s moving in. I am happy, I’m excited. It’s a new beginning for the both of us and it makes our relationship seem more real.

It also means I don’t think I will have much time to write in here anymore. I guess that’s good. Finally, I have something in my life that’s steady, that’s constant. I love him, I really do. Sometimes I look at him and I can feel my heart multiply in size with the love that I feel.

I don’t tell him though. He does tell me and I know he means it but there’s this feeling in my stomach. The feeling that when I tell him, it’ll all be real. I’ll be transported out of this happy wonderland life that we’re living and get dumped in the real world.

Why am I scared?

Seb’s heart sunk. He knew that they loved eachother and he’d heard them tell eachother that loads of times. He couldn’t imagine it being that hard, especially not for them.

He turned the next page but it was blank. He turned another page and another until he found one with slightly neater handwriting this time, it seemed less – angry.

July 11th 2017

I guess we’re starting this up again, then? I’m surprised I even found it to be honest. I assumed it would have gotten lost in the move.

It’s crazy how time flies. Last time I wrote in here, we were moving into the pub. Now Robert’s having a baby.

He’s with Rebecca now. At a scan. My counsellor told me to write in here whenever I’m feeling down about it. I’m not upset anymore, she’s a constant reminder of what they did and it’s weighing me down, every time we see her, it’s right in my face.

I want him to understand that I’m okay with him having this baby. Sort of. I want to help him through this so we can face parenthood together. I love him, so I’ll love whatever is his.

Seb felt tears start to form in his eyes. He knew about their time apart before he was born. He knew what happened between his mum and his dad, what happened to Lawrence and Chrissie.

Seeing written evidence from that time made it real, made him realise how much his parents loved eachother, even when they didn’t communicate it properly.

As he turned over a few more pages, a printed photo fell out of the book.

It was the photo of them at Liv’s university graduation day. Her with the hat and the scroll, Aaron and Robert with their arms around her shoulders, and then himself. He was stood in a small suit, at seven years old, a big smile plastered on his face as he stood with his family.

He turned the photo around to see writing on the back.

Talk to her. We wouldn’t have gotten this far if we hadn’t.

Dad x

He waited on the bench outside the front door of the mill. He had the diary in his hands, resting on top of his bouncing knee.

He’d called Emily, he told her that they needed to talk and that they should meet here. He had also read some more of the diary. Parts where Aaron would write down all these feelings, but he never said them out loud, leading him to bottle things up and just make everything worse.

The crunch of gravel made him turn his head, his knee stopped bouncing.

“Hey.” Emily said gently, holding her hands together in front of her.

“Hey.” Seb returned quietly, pointing down to the space on the bench next to him.

Robert was making lasagne, banning Aaron from getting in the way of him in the kitchen, so Aaron was sat on the sofa. His knee was also bouncing nervously, knowing what Seb was doing outside – hoping that it would all work out.

“I can hear your heartbeat from here, Aaron.” Robert said, facing towards the countertop where he was placing the lasagne sheets into the dish.

“What if it goes wrong?” Aaron admitted, turning to face the kitchen, “What if he ends up getting his heart broken again?”

Robert turned to face him, “Then we’ll help him through it. Be here for him when he needs it. That’s all we can do.”

Aaron smiled and nodded but still felt anxious as he nervously bit at his nails.

The door opened as they were about to sit down to eat. Robert shot a glance at Aaron who looked back him nervously, dropping his fork.

“Hey, Seb.” He called as the boy walked in, “Yours is still in the dish if you want it.”

He had a massive smile on his face, sending relief through them both.

“Yeah I just need to go to the loo.” Seb answered him, but quickly swiped a piece of garlic bread off the table in front of them. He pulled the photo out from behind him, keeping the diary hidden. He slid it across the table towards Aaron.

“Thanks, Dad.” He said quietly and Aaron nodded, reaching out to take the photo. He slid it off the table and stood up, connecting it to the fridge using a magnet. “We talked, and she told me she loved me too. I surprised her when i said it earlier, then I ran off so…” he laughed and ran a hand through his hair.

Aaron smiled and looked at Robert knowingly, who narrowed his eyes. “Well I’m glad you made up.” He told him with a smile.

“Me too.” Seb answered as he walked backwards to the stairs, holding the diary behind him. As he slowly walked up the stairs, he turned around and made eye contact with Aaron who smiled and winked, before turning his attention back to his dinner.

#rw2020 #i completely forgot to post this earlier #robron fic #aaron dingle #robert sugden #seb white

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cosplayinamerica · 4 years

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The Cat in the Hat // Cosplayer : LilyArcherCreative // Photo : devonmariejohnson_photography

I don’t think I can really overstate the impact that cosplaying has had on my life. I’ve been loosely cosplaying for a little over ten years now, but I didn’t join the community until 2015. As a teenager I chased validation through theater and performance, but it wasn’t until I started posting my cosplay pictures online that I really found what I was looking for. My self-esteem and body image both skyrocketed as I settled into who “Lily” was; that’s not my real name, only a few people in the community know that! I think the most freeing part of my cosplay journey has been finding a lasting outlet for my creativity. Through sewing my own costumes I have learned how to bead and embroider, dipped back into my love of painting, and developed a slight obsession with rhinestones and trim!

The idea for the Cat in the Hat came from two main points of inspiration. First, it just seemed like fun! I wanted to do something where I could be sparkly, creative, and hopefully unique in the cosplay space. I thought it would make people smile to see something so different. And second, the decision came when I knew that my mom would be coming to the con with me. She has always loved the Cat in the Hat (she has the book memorized, it’s impressive) and this would be her first time coming to a con where I was in my full cosplay element. I thought it would be a great thing to do together, and it ended up being her first time cosplaying! She was Thing 1, and I am so proud of her!

This costume was put together from pieces I bought on Amazon or Old Navy and then altered for my own use. The jacket specifically was tailored with rhinestones added along the lapel, and the hat was stoned with as many rhinestones as I had time to add! I usually make my costumes from scratch, so the Cat was a nice break.

I started dressing up like characters from my favorite books and movies long before I knew what cosplay was, for book and movie premiers. My first “convention” was actually a Twilight con back in 2009! Once in college I was introduced to anime beyond my childhood Sailor Moon interest, and after graduation in 2014 my friends and I decided to give an anime convention a try. I wore the same costume all three days (not the best idea in hindsight) but fell in love with the hobby and haven’t looked back!

#the cat in the hat #the cat in the hat cosplay #dr seuss #cosplay #cosplayer

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skrillahead · 4 years

Text

Ten years ago, when I was 23 an old friend introduced me to @taylorswift music. I had just gone through a horrendous breakup to a guy named John and she mentioned how she felt I would appreciate the song “Dear John.” To my surprise it resonated every thought and feeling I was going through. It didn’t take long before I begged her to let me borrow her Speak Now album. I’ll admit here and now that it was one of the fundemental albums I listened to help me recover from one of the worst relationships I’ve ever been in.

Two years later in 2012, history repeated itself. The relationship wasn’t as dramatic or eventful but it still hurt like hell. I mean, how could it not? when no matter how many times you put your love out there they never want to stay. To my surprise Taylor Swift put out her singles for her Red album that fall and I can’t even begin to describe how therapeutic it was to listen to “I knew you were trouble” but also how much I cried every time I listened to “Red” because it really did feel like driving a Maserati down a dead end street *cries even now*

Two years after that in 2014, Taylor’s 1989 album was released and at the time I hadn’t really cared to date anymore. I was happy being on my own and wasn’t looking to detox of any sad emotions but I bought the album because “Shake it off” was just super fun to listen to and I’m so glad that one song convinced me to buy the album because that year I had a falling out with the very friend who introduced me to Taylor’s music. So one can only imagine what song I had on repeat that fall. You guessed it “Bad Blood” it was almost as if she had premeditated my life. Like she knew what was coming before I did and said, “here. This might help”

In 2015, an ex bf from 2006 (my first real bf) sent me a text one night after not speaking for about six years because he was in a new relationship and wouldn’t stop messaging me. Keep in mind, I had never gotten over this guy because he was my first everything. It was hard to forget him (up until this series of events of course) but as hard as it was to ignore him i knew it wasn’t right to talk to him while he had a girlfriend because yes, I believe in karma. The night he textd me we talked for hours. He says “we broke up” and “she wasn’t you” I fight it for a bit but eventually I bite. Not long after, I see him and get to kiss him again. It felt like magic all over again, he even mentioned going on vacation together and getting married but as fast as he came he left. Turns out he was still seeing his “at the time ex” (you can see where this is going) I eventually put all the pieces together and tell him to never speak to me again. I felt so broken and stupid for believing every word he said and for thinking that I could even mean anything to him when he had been with this other girl for 7 years at that point. So what did I do to heal? Like most people I hung out with friends and kept busy but honestly, none of that helped as much as listening to “You’re not Sorry” from the Fearless album on repeat. It was the one album I hadn’t listened to in its entirety yet and when I heard that song I cried like someone spilled onion juice in my eyes but I kept moving forward and eventually got out of my depressive state. So again, thank you for that. Btw fast forward to present time and they’re now married. So, congratulations Mr and Mrs Muir. Side note: there are so many details missing from this but I don’t want to bore anyone with that in the middle of an already long post.

Flash forward to 2016, there wasn’t a new Taylor Swift album. Which almost felt odd considering there had been 2 year gaps between her albums before but I did read a lot about her in the tabloids that year so I figured her absence might’ve been related to it. Regardless, my own personal and very unrealistic agenda for Taylor made me angry with her that year. 2016, was the year Trump ran for President, and as we all know he won. For some crazy reason my head went crazy. I strongly believed that Taylor could’ve kept that man from winning had she used her voice because of how strong her following is but we couldn’t find her until voting day. I conjured up this idea in my head that she was more concerned about losing followers over where she stood in politics than what actually happened to us as a nation. I really don’t know what I was going through that year to be so delusional. It probably didn’t even have to do with Taylor Swift but I did become angry. There was just so much uncertainty by the end of that year that maybe I used her as a scape goat and just started believing all of the negative things that were being posted online about her which in retrospect, wasn’t right and wasn’t fair. She’s still a person with not only her own thoughts and feelings but also her own struggles. So if by any crazy chance you happen to read this I want to say I am deeply sorry.

Okay, so now it’s the year 2017 and I am celebrating one year of living with my awesome new roommate, who legitimately has been one of the bestest if not thee best friend I have ever had and Taylor has released her Reputation album BUT I do a personal protest to not listen to it (because remember? I’m still angry) but it was inevitable. She was everywhere! and while I may not have been a huge fan of the first single, I have to admit when I heard “Ready for it” in that one commercial it got so hard to not want to just listen to it on Spotify because the whole song just sounded so good. Yet, somehow I kept strong.

Flash forward to 2018, and what is this I see? Taylor Swift finally voiced her opinion on politics? Let me tell you, when I say I ran so fast to the Spotify app so fast it felt like my life was depending on it. I relapsed the second Taylor Swift announces her political stance because I may have been wrong about her but I was wrong for a good reason. She showed what she truly valued and it wasn’t numbers. Thank you by the way because I was aching to listen to “Ready for it” on repeat for about a year at this point. Not only that! But she released her 2 hour Reputation Tour documentary on Netflix that year and now I was upset that I let my emotions get the best of me because it looked like such a fun tour to be a part of.

2019, wasn’t too eventful from what I can remember. Well, with the exception of Taylor fighting for the rights to her music which by the way, what the hell is up with that? Just give her work back! Still I hoped that regardless of that her and her boo Joe Alwyn were doing well. I personally loved the story I read somewhere about how he told you he wasn’t giving up that easy or something along those lines. I’m personally a hopeless romantic and like cheesy stuff like that even though I may come across as tough ogre. In the words of Shrek himself, I’m like an onion. I’ve got layers.

So now we’ve finally reached present year 2020, a whole 4 years since I got irrationally upset with a person I’ve never met before except through her work. It’s 6 days before my 33rd bday and the Miss Americana documentary is released on Netflix. I felt angry once again but this time at myself. I was upset with this artist I had admired for so long who had helped me mend wounds and collect broken heart pieces. All while she was dealing with her own family issues, her breakups, sexual abuse, body image issues, scandal, and finding the strength to voice her political opinions. I really had the nerve to be upset? I’ll admit another thing on here at the risk of someone I know reading this and thinking I’m overdramatic for doing so but I cried. I genuinely felt terrible. How she’s been able to keep such a strong and wise head on those shoulders after everything that’s been thrown at her is admirable. I can only dream of being that damn strong and I find refuge in the fact that while everything may not be perfect in her life at least she has a good support system whether that be in the shape of her parents, her brother, her boyfriend, or her friends (yes, that includes fans.)

Anyway, I wrote all of that to show you guys that while we’ve been in quarantine I’ve found solace in bullet journaling and had added a bunch of my favorite Taylor Swift lyrics from the last 4 albums she’s released. It helped me let go of a lot of old thoughts and emotions to rewrite them myself. Your music, your words, and your values have helped me and so many others so much Taylor. I know it’s selfish to ask but please keep writing even when you get married or when you have kids and they need their diaper changed (shoot I’ll babysit if you need me to) or til you get old lady fingers and they’re all spotty and wrinkly. I’ll even send cookies as a thank you. If you’ve read this far I hope Ive made you laugh even a little. Stay, stay, stay, safe and quarantined guys :)

#taylorswift taylornation #taylor swift #i love you taylor #taylornation #taylortoldthetruth #bullet journal #journal #lyric quotes #lyrics #music #quarantine #heartbreak #relationship #evil exes #friendships #self healing #life #boyfriend

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nadziejastar · 4 years

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Thoughts on the dlc? After it released and after you watched it?

Honestly, I’m glad I didn’t spend any money on it. It was really just...not very good. It didn’t help KH3 feel any more complete. This series has really alienated me. I never thought by the end of KH3, I’d be so uninterested in the future of KH. But I really do think the Dark Seeker Saga was irreparably destroyed. It’s heartbreaking.

KH3 would have been faaaar better if we had gotten to see everyone use the power of waking. This whole “the power of waking is taboo” thing, I’m just not buying. The power of waking is supposed to be the power to awaken a sleeping heart. This power was the key to the plot and Ansem’s data. Many of the characters would need to have it used on them to be brought back and have their pain healed. That was, ya know, kinda the whole point of KH3.

But...the power of waking does not work on those who were wiped from existence. Okaaaaaaay? Why is everyone suddenly wiped from existence? Nomura originally said that there’s no concept of death in KH. The whole point until now was that everyone in trouble simply needed to be woken up. Birth By Sleep. Dream Drop Distance. In KH3D, Yen Sid says that the three lost Keyblade wielders needed to be woken from their sorrow and slumber. Even in Saix’s boss fight, Lea says “Isa, it’s time to wake up!” Which just...makes me sad.

Really, the focus of KH3′s finale should have been these characters being woken up. That’s it. Not time travel. Not the black box. Not Xigbar being Luxu. Not Yozora. Not Sora getting transported to another world. Not setting up KH4. Save that for later. Because the story was such a hot mess, even the reunions felt anticlimactic. TAV’s felt rushed. Lea and Isa didn’t even get one.

Overall, I thought the DLC was just really boring. They tried to give some explanation for why Sora was there during everyone’s boss fight, but it still barely made any sense to me. The battles should have played out with you playing as each character without Sora there. Period. He just plain shouldn’t have been there. No time travel shenanigans can fix that.

Most of the DLC was just rehashes of the Keyblade Graveyard battles with a lot of scenes that felt like they didn’t add much. Was that extra scene of Demyx with the Gummiphone really necessary? I dunno, maybe. I didn’t think anyone really felt like they got better much development than they did before. I liked seeing Aqua get more dialogue during her boss fight with Terra. But still. There’s just something...missing in all of these fights. And that is...you guessed it, the power of waking.

I don’t care about why Sora is there during everyone’s fights. He shouldn’t be bringing everyone back like that. I wanted to see Ventus dive inside Terra’s heart to find him, piece him back together and wake him up. That’s what KH is all about. The characters and their bonds. That is the heart of the series. In KH3, the character development just flat-out sucked.

I don’t buy the explanation that the power of waking is soooo taboo and that’s why only Sora got to use it (at great cost). The power of waking was built up SO MUCH. Each Guardian of Light should have gotten a chance to use it to make their character arcs feel more complete. Aqua should have used it on Ventus in the Land of Departure when she was randomly unconscious. Riku and Mickey shoulda used it on each other when they were randomly unconscious. I wanted to see Lea defeat Isa, then use the power of waking on him to wake him up.

Roxas and Xion’s presence in that fight still made no sense and doesn’t feel any more organic than it did before. Xion was made out of Sora’s memories. How did they even bring her back? How is she suddenly worthy to be a full-fledged Seeker of Darkness now? Originally, she needed to merge with Roxas to become a complete Sora Replica. Honestly, Nomura should have just stuck to his guns and not brought her back. Too much of KH3 felt like it was just written as cheap fanservice. Let’s bring back everyone. Then maybe fans won’t notice how shitty the character development is.

I was much more aware during KH3 that I was playing a game made by a huge corporation to make money than I ever was before. With the older games, I felt like I was playing a creative work. Regardless of how zany the plot could get, I could always feel the love that each game had put into it. On the other hand, KH3 felt much more like a disposable “consumer product,” if that makes sense.

It’s really sad how obvious it was that Kairi and Isa spent most of their fight standing around doing nothing. Really solidified my opinion that bringing back Roxas and Xion (physically) was a huge mistake and that it was thought up at the last minute. Nomura was complaining that there’s too many characters and admitted he couldn’t keep track of who has met who. Well, I’m pretty sure he had Roxas and Xion in mind when he said that (just look at the final scene at Yen Sid’s Tower when Lea reunited with Ventus and how awkward it was). There really are too many characters and some had to be sacrificed so others could shine.

Yeah, Kairi got one extra scene fighting Xemnas before she got kidnapped. But it did little to change the fact that she got benched in her own fight and got fridged. Lea and Kairi trained hard for that fight. They were preparing to fight Isa, Lea’s best friend from childhood who was possessed. But Kairi and Isa stood around and did nothing the whole time while Roxas and Xion got all the spotlight. The Recusant’s Sigil was surprisingly brought up again, but the scene made no sense to me. We’re definitely missing some vital backstory there with the Sigil.

I’m glad Kairi got to fight in an actual boss battle, so we can see her play style and everything. That’s great. Of course, she should have gotten that in the original game. And I still think killing her off at the end was a huge mistake. This DLC tried to make her feel more important, but I stand by my original opinion. The ending of KH3 should have just had Kairi rescue Sora at the end with the power of waking, then Sora and everyone celebrate their victory on the beach.

There’s a sense of closure, and a happy ending. Then they could start building up a new arc. Just overall, KH3 had no sense of closure or emotional satisfaction. It doesn’t even feel like the Dark Seeker Saga had a definitive end. Really, KH2 had more closure, yet KH3 is supposed to be the grand finale. KH3 felt more like a teaser for the new arc than the conclusion of this one. The DLC doesn’t fix that at all. It certainly doesn’t make KH3 feel like a “Final Mix”.

People say that Nomura was more interested in what came after KH3 than KH3 itself. And it’s true. I’m sure that if KH3 had been able to come out in 2014 or 2015, it would have been a drastically different game. KH3 is a product of Square’s huge problems as a company, and that’s a damn shame.

I liked seeing more of Scala ad Caelum. But it doesn’t make up for the fact that it should have been an explorable world in the main campaign. Sora should have been able to go there and learn about Xehanort, the Recusant’s Sigil, etc. It was very poorly integrated into the story. The story itself was just a mess.

Finally, I really couldn’t care less about Yozora. Let’s be real, if KH3 had come out in 2015, Yozora wouldn’t even exist. Noctis and his bros would have probably appeared in KH3 instead and it would have felt like a more traditional KH game. I was sad about Versus XIII’s cancellation. I still am. But Yozora just feels out of place and shoehorned in. Nomura is obviously unable to move on and this has affected his creative choices. Sora’s disappearance at the end just felt like a gimmick to introduce him to Yozora.

Overall, I really got FFXIII-2 vibes with Re:Mind. Like all the nonsensical time travel stuff, the hollowed out characterization, Sora turning to crystal. Pretty graphics, but lacking a soul. I’ll always love the older games. They’ll always have a special place in my heart. But KH3? Eh....not so much.

#kh remind

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mykingdomforapen · 4 years

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Decade of Fics 2010-2019

Hello! Since it is nearly 2020 and I am OLD, a look back on the fanfictions (and occasional non-fanfictions) I wrote in this decade, and some snippets of hints of scenes that come to my mind first when I think of that year of writing. In some ways, I would say these would be snippets or moments of writing that I feel most attached to.

2010: One Step to Amity (Axis Powers Hetalia)

Alfred nodded wordlessly. She said nothing as she turned away from him and walked slowly down the river. She bent down after she put some distance between her and him. Alfred suddenly felt an urge inside of him to reach out to her.

"Vietnam—"" he started to say.

"Look, America," she suddenly spoke up. She was holding something pale in her hands. He frowned slightly before walking up to her and bending down next to her. Vietnam held up a mauve lotus to his eyes. It was so delicate that Alfred thought it would positively crumble if he merely exhaled at it. The petals were so fragile that it seemed that God had crafted it by merely painting with a thin brush in midair.

"During the war, most of these died," she said quietly. "From all the chemicals and the fires. I thought they would never grow back again. I thought all of that was just too much."

She offered the lotus to Alfred. He hesitated; what if it died in his hands? In the end, he finally let her gently place the flower in his palm. He could barely feel its weight, but the petals were smooth and wet on his skin. She lifted her eyes to his.

"But they did grow again," she said. "Even after all that, they still bloom. They always do in the end."

2011: Seven Pieces of Chalk (Axis Powers Hetalia)

“If I hadn’t missed your call and answered the phone, what would you have said to me?” Arthur demanded. “Would you have just hung up?”

“I don’t know.”

“You didn’t call me just because you felt like it. You should be asleep now, of all things. Why aren’t you?”

“I don’t know.”

“Something’s bothering you, right? Can’t you tell me?”

“I don’t know.”

Arthur quieted. Gilbert wouldn’t look at Arthur, hiding his face in the shadows. The moonlight reached only half of the room where Arthur sat, leaving Gilbert obscured in the darkness. Arthur sat still for a moment before reaching toward Gilbert’s cell phone, which was lying underneath his swivel chair.

“Hey.”

When Gilbert looked toward Arthur, Arthur tossed his phone to him. Gilbert quickly caught it, slightly confused. Arthur pulled out his own cell phone.

“Call me,” Arthur said sternly. Gilbert gave him a perplexed look. “Let’s get back to the start, about forty-five minutes. Call me, and we’ll pretend that I picked up my phone first.”

Gilbert almost declined. He would have too, if it was any other person—any other night than this one—but to both his surprise and Arthur’s, he flipped open the phone and pressed the dial button. As Arthur’s ringtone blared, Gilbert retreated deeper into the shadows. Arthur hesitated before picking up the phone.

“Hello?” Arthur said. Gilbert fixed his gaze on the carpet.

“Arthur?” Gilbert said.

2012: Syrgja (Avengers/MCU)

And when no one spoke, when Natasha could think of Loki and Loki only, she remembered that all of their minds were connected alongside their lives. She heard each of their thoughts as they hoped, as they waited and prayed for Loki’s return.

Brother, come back to us, please—

Loki, you can do it, I know you can, just keep breathing—

Loki, you bastard, don’t give up on us now—

Keep fighting, Loki, just keep fighting and help will come—

Come on, Bambi, you’re stronger than this, you can do it—

She did not hesitate in thinking this—she did not care if the others heard, so long as Loki did. So long as Loki knew without a doubt.

I love you, Loki.

2013: spring will come (Thor/MCU)

“So I guess,” said Thor, “that scars heal in time, too. It’s kind of sad and beautiful, that no matter what life goes on.”

Jane reached over and put her hand on his. She felt every callous, every vein. She grazed her thumb over the knuckles.

“Are you cold?” said Thor. “Let’s have coffee.”

2014: Jacob and Esau say their goodbyes (Thor/MCU)

"I said that I have no side," Loki says. "And yet I always find myself by Thor's."

2015: Though she may forget (Thor/MCU)

“You sat on Asgardian gold all your life,” Byleistr says, “where all the realms and races throw themselves at your feet because you are of AEsir family, your throne of riches and fortune, of safety and security, of approval and want—you never knew what it meant to be a Jotun, to fear for your life when someone of another realm comes across you, even when you are at in your own homeland, fearing they might cut you down for sport. You don’t know what it means when none of the realms will even look at you, because to them you are foul and savage and monstrous, and we can’t pull on costumes and masks like you can to pretend, for a moment at the very least, that we can walk out of our realm and not be killed.”

Byleistr wipes his lips with the back of his hand. Loki cannot bring himself to look at Byleistr in the eyes. He cannot bring himself to move much at all. Byleistr’s words have the same effect as the snow, the cold that Loki never admitted that he was unbothered by—numbing.

“You think you wish you were never born a Jotun,” Byleistr says. If an Asgardian’s eyes are red, it means they shall fill soon with tears. Loki realizes that with Jotun, when tears threaten to fall, they have a tinge of violet, as if even colors grow cold inside them. “You’ve never been Jotun in your life.”

2016: Better Than Seven Sons (Original Fiction)

I grabbed a fistful of his hair, right in the middle. Angus closed his eyes, and no one else really seemed to grasp that this was far more significant than an impulsive a-shave-a-quid moment but us two. I wanted to back out, suddenly—sorry, Angus, can’t do it, can’t bring myself to do it. I love your hair, Angus, I love recognising it, I love it because now it’s a symbol of pre-tumour, pre-surgery, pre-illness and from here on out we would be thrown into the uncertainty that comes with losing it and cutting open your skull. But you saw this differently, not a symbolic goodbye, but having the last laugh, and I needed to forget my own point of view.

“Count me down,” I said.

“Really now?” said Angus.

“Five!” I said.

“Four!” Others joined me. I thought someone would shake up a bottle of champagne for this, let out some firecrackers.

“Three!”

“Two!”

“One!”

2017: a land flowing with milk and honey (Thor/MCU)

“You know who that is,” says Heimdall. “Even if he decides not to kill us all, enslaving us will be the kindest gesture.”

“Well,” says Loki. “That’s surviving, isn’t it?”

The ship jerks violently, and Heimdall and Loki stumble, clutching at the dashboard to keep on their feet. Loki turns sharply to Heimdall, who does not trust him, who has absolutely no reason to. He has just watched Loki shove Thor into a pod and sent him shuttling to Norns only know where, but he cannot read Loki’s mind or intentions.

“Don’t you trust Thor?” says Loki. In spite of everything, he smiles. “I do.”

2018: Lovable (Avatar: The Last Airbender)

“Do you really hate me, Azula?” Zuko said.

That sentence already made his stomach turn, and he could feel a lump form in his throat that threatened to choke him if he did not scream it out. He had to gather himself first before he could continue, although his breath still shook.

“For almost our entire lives,” said Zuko. “Even if you were just following Father’s example. Why did you still hurt me when he wasn’t watching?”

He clenched his teeth, because he was beginning to raise his voice already. Just remembering it and saying all of this out loud was like stabbing himself repeatedly in the gut. Azula did not react to any of it. And it was painful for Zuko to admit it to himself. He had thought maybe one day, they would talk about their past and their present. And for the first time he would finally tell her how unsafe he felt around her. And when he finally told the truth, that she would care. Maybe she would feel sad, or guilty, or even apologize to him, and then he could look at her without immediately getting upset for the first time.

But this was not what he came here for.

Zuko approached the bars and reached a hand through them. The bars caught him at his elbow, and his fingertips could only skim the ends of Azula’s hair strewn over the stone. He did not want to ask all of this from Azula anymore; whatever groveling, repentance, devastation and shame that he may have fantasized before. He did not want to wait for any of these, nor let it stop him from what shall come next.

“I love you, Azula,” Zuko said. “If I go, would you believe me?”

2019: Find me after the victory (Dunkirk/Arguably can be historical fiction)

So they sat on the floor of Peter’s bedroom, cups of tea in hand and a longing to be human as destroyers lined the beaches of England, ready to be boarded. They talked until the pot of tea cooled between them, about Peter’s school getting destroyed by the bombs, about Tommy’s sisters whom he missed, about Alex’s old London haunts that no one knew if they were still standing, about a home whose soil they walked on but was still miles and miles away.

“You’re all going back very soon, aren’t you?” Peter said after a brief pause, when they took a moment to collect their breaths. “Back to the mainland to fight.”

Tommy said nothing, but his gaze flickered towards Alex. Peter pressed his lips together, with a heaviness in his heart that he could not name. He suddenly remembered the last day of his brother’s last furlough, and how in hindsight he would comb over every detail of his brother’s day, the way he helped Dad with the ropes of the Moonstone and how Mum straightened his tie, and how he punched Peter lightly on the shoulder and told him to take care of Mum and Dad, and that Peter was free to borrow his books and football so long as he did not mess anything up in his room. They would have a football rematch when he returned, his brother promised.

Peter wished he could remember every quiet moment, seen and unseen, of his brother, if only he had known at the time that it would be the last. But to know God’s timing was too much for humans to bear, as Peter looked Tommy and Alex in the eye and be forced to accept that these boys with whom he reunited after four years might leave tomorrow and die.

“Don’t worry, Dawson,” Alex said. “We won’t let you down this time.”

“Don’t be ridiculous,” Peter said, and he did not know what else to say.

When the clock in the living room chimed, Alex and Tommy exchanged a heavy, knowing glance. Peter already knew before Tommy said that they ought to get going. They were not going to come round again tomorrow, and probably not for a very long time.

Peter felt a sudden, overwhelming desire to be a hundred meters tall, to sweep Tommy and Alex and all the other young soldiers that Peter knew and did not know into his arms and shield them from oncoming bombs and bullets. He wanted to die for each and every one of them, to protect them from further pain and devastation and keep them safe, but he was just a young man and that would be impossible. And if Peter remembered what Reverend James taught him, it was that someone else felt the same way already, and did just that.

#LC writes #ish

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incomprehensiblelentils · 4 years

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I did not get around to this yesterday but, a short selection of fictional things that meant a lot to me over the last decade! ...it is going under a cut bc it is Too Long sorry lmao.

Books

Little Fires Everywhere by Celeste Ng: this book came out in September 2017 and I have read it four times already. It’s the kind of book I want to write but I’m not sure I’m clever enough to: every event and every character is so purposeful and you won’t catch everything the first time through. Every time I reread it I find something new to marvel at. I hope the Hulu series is half as good

Everything I Never Told You by Celeste Ng: this was the first piece of fiction I ever found with a family with a Chinese father and a white mother. This family is a lot less functional than my family, but I've read this three times because that means the world to me.

Ash by Malinda Lo: I discovered this in 2011 and it was the first f/f novel I ever read, and as I would later learn, one of a handful with a happy ending at the time, particularly in YA fiction. For a long time, I reread it every time I felt hopeless. I just reread it again last month and it is still as beautiful and meaningful to me as in 2011.

Girls of Paper and Fire by Natasha Ngan: This is an Asian-inspired fantasy (becoming more common now, but still irritatingly rare) written by a queer Asian woman, with f/f. I think it is only the second one of these, after Ash? It is frustratingly rare, anyway. The worldbuilding is incredible also.

The Astonishing Color of After by Emily X.R. Pan: We are getting more stories about biracial Asians, but they are still pretty rare and I treasure every one. This one felt so real to me.

The Miseducation of Cameron Post by Emily M. Danforth: The first half of this book captures so beautifully what it’s like growing up queer in a religious environment when you don’t even have the words or self-awareness to know what you’re feeling. This was another one I read over and over again when I was feeling low.

The Scorpio Races by Maggie Stiefvater: this is just a book for horse girls. I don’t know how else to describe this lol. I also feel like the romance is super downplayed until the very end, and honestly barely feels like a romance to me, so that’s refreshing!

Movies:

Pacific Rim (2013): I remember having this weird feeling when asked to give my top 3 movies once in high school, like maybe my favorite movie hadn’t come out yet so I couldn’t answer properly. I was right; this is the movie I was waiting for. This is my favorite movie. The feelings this movie gives me is the standard I hold all movies to.

Terminator: Dark Fate (2019): but Megan, didn’t this just come out? Yes, and it’s my other favorite movie now. I love (almost) every second of this movie. This movie made me feel a way that I thought maybe I might never feel again, after a certain other franchise movie this year took a dump on my heart. I don’t care that we’re never getting a sequel, we got this and that’s enough for me.

Thor (2011): Those of you who have been around awhile know that I really love this movie. I loved it before we all jumped on the Thor train after Ragnarok and I will continue to love it probably my whole life. It just makes me happy.

Aquaman (2018): This is Thor but underwater and with a biracial hero. It made me cry in the theater and I do not want to hear any negative opinions about it, I find them personally wounding.

Belle (2013): The fact that Gugu Mbatha-Raw isn’t a superstar is tragic, and this movie is gorgeous and lovely and made me feel a lot of things as a biracial person.

Mad Max Fury Road (2015): I remember seeing the trailer for this in the theater and going “yikes that looks like a thing I would never watch.” Joke’s on you, past me!!!! I find this a deeply stressful but glorious film that I can only watch like, once or twice a year.

Scott Pilgrim vs. the World (2010): I do not need or want to hear about how this movie is Problematic, I know all of its issues, and yet. It brings me joy and it was one of the first movies I saw when I was just starting to break out of my religious upbringing and I laugh until I cry every time I watch it.

Star Wars: The Force Awakens (2015): I am starting to realize that I am not and never really was a Star Wars Fan, which is to say that like...I love this movie specifically, I love the characters, I love the interactions, I love the stuff that happens. I do not so much love Star Wars as a whole? I like it fine! But this movie is the only part of the franchise to really make me go “oh, I get it.”

Professor Marston and the Wonder Women (2017): This was a weird little movie that nobody saw and nobody talked about, but I adore it because it’s so gentle and romantic. I don’t know how accurate it is to history and frankly I do not really care.

Big Hero 6 (2014): are you tired of me mentioning I’m biracial yet? This movie has biracial protagonists and a cute squishy robot and no romance and superhero stuff and I love it so much.

F8: The Fate of the Furious (2017): I went to go see this on a whim with my wife and it was one of the most joyous theater experiences of my life. I don’t know, I just love everything about it.

TV shows:

Community: This only kind of counts because it started in 2009 but I started it mid-s2 so eh. Seasons 1-3 of this show are written on my heart, I can quote a ridiculous amount of dialogue from them and these characters will stay with me forever. Warts and all, this is my show.

Dollhouse: Another technicality but like, I met my wife because we both loved Bennett Halverson so I gotta put this on here. It’s pretty significantly affected my life! Also I find that it holds up fairly well, if you’re down for the admittedly iffy premise and an ending that’s a bit of a mess narratively due to sudden cancellation.

Agents of SHIELD: I would never claim that this show is “good” but I do think that it has mostly figured out what the hell it’s doing. And it has been a pretty significant part of my fandom life for the last 6 years, so to leave it off this list would feel wrong. It gave me Daisy Johnson, first canon biracial superhero as played by a biracial actor, and for that i will always be grateful.

Warehouse 13: I could not tell you why I fell so deeply in love with this dumb, badly written show that shit the bed in the final episode more spectacularly than I could have imagined, and yet I did! I think probably it is because I love found family so much, and also I find goofy camp charming more often than not. And of course, there is Bering and Wells, the femslash ship that fandom forgot. I will never be over how no one knows what we have suffered!!!!!

Runaways: wow was this a surprise! The Runaways comic is my favorite comic besides Marjorie Liu’s X-23 run, and this show has basically nothing to do with it, and normally that would piss me off but they got my kids’ personalities down so well and all of the actors are so perfect that I really can’t complain. And also, this show has canon f/f and neither of them die at the end! Which is...better than some other shows I could mention!

Doctor Who series 1 and 5: I had a very intense Doctor Who phase in college, and after all was said and done and I quit the show for a time, I realized that although I love a lot of the characters, and Thirteen’s run is pretty good so far, what I really loved was Nine’s run and Eleven’s first season. That is the show at its best to me. Eccleston is my Doctor and Amy is my favorite companion.

Legends of Tomorrow: Look, I am as shocked as anyone that this, the scrappy underdog of the DCTV lineup, is the one that’s most emotionally competent and has the best character arcs! But here we are. Season 4 was some of my favorite TV I’ve seen, uh, ever.

Albums

Dirty Computer by Janelle Monae: I listened to this for basically a year straight after it came out. It’s just ridiculously good.

Something Fierce by Marian Call: This was my on-repeat album in college. i drew a lot of strength from it, and I think that it’s still the best album to recommend to people who ask me about her.

Standing Stones by Marian Call: I heard most of these songs live at concerts before they were quite done yet, so it was really special to get to hear them all collected together like this. I’m going to get a tattoo with a lyric from one of these songs because no one’s quite been able to put my basic philosophy into words quite like Marian.

Heartthrob by Tegan and Sara: Hot Take, I know, because a lot of people hate this album, but it was so affirming to go out and buy A Lesbian Album from A Lesbian Band in 2013.

The Rent movie soundtrack: I know, I KNOW, but in my defense, my parents got me this for my birthday my first year of college and I needed it so desperately. I can definitely still do “La Vie Boheme” from the beginning and probably most of the other songs too.

In the Heights OBCR: I can only listen to this when I want to cry, but it’s my favorite musical. I got to see the show in 2018 and it was incredible. I think it’s better than Hamilton and I can’t wait for the movie to come out.

Trouble by Natalia Kills: this album is really great and also it says fuck a lot, which I used to be very nervous about hearing or saying, and this helped immensely!

#me

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lyouna · 5 years

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The story of Josh Dun

Joshua William “Josh” Dun is an American musician. Best known for being the drummer for the band Twenty One Pilots. He was born in Columbus, Ohio, on June 18, 1988. His star sign is Gemini. He has two sisters named Ashley and Abigail and a brother named Jordan.

Since his childhood, he was always terrified by talking in front of people even if it was a small group of it. However, when he is playing drums he does not feel that way, he is not as vulnerable as that when it comes to talking.

He self-taught when he was around 12 how to play drums, and worked at the Guitar Center for 3 years. He also worked with former Twenty One Pilots drummer Chris Salih, through whom he would eventually meet Tyler Joseph.

Dun's first foray into the music industry was with an alternative/Christian rock band House of Heroes. He joined the band through their drummer, Colin Rigsby, who was taking a break to spend time with his family. Dun played alongside the band on tour from March to October 2010 when Rigsby returned to his role.

"I would lay in my bed every night with sticks and hit my knees trying to figure out what they were doing, like, 'Okay, now they're hitting the ride cymbal, and now it's the snare and now the crash.' I would dissect everything that I watched or listened to. Every day I would walk to the local music store and play their electronic drums until one of the workers would be like, 'Hey, we have people in here that actually want to buy stuff so you've gotta go.' I did that for about a year and that's essentially how I learned to play some basic beats."

Throughout both middle school and high school, he didn't have a lot of money and it helps him to be more creative. He even thought about finding pieces of wood and figure it out how to make them in a drum. Figure out how they would sound with different holes in it, with different types of wood... Nevertheless, at this end, he said that the best drum set he had was one of SJC Drums.

He likes nothing more to do than to play drums; in fact, he plays the exact same way when he is in a dark room by himself and when he is in front of thousands of people. He said that he wants to be creative and just to get outside of the box even if that sounds weird.

He said that although his inspiration comes from some drummers, his greatest inspiration is his parents. Indeed, he starts playing drums in a sort of rebellious state again them and that turns into them being more than supportive.

In 2011, upon the invite of co-worker and the band's drummer Chris Salih, Dun attended a Twenty One Pilots show after listening to their original demo CD. Josh first saw Twenty One Pilots at a club on the Ohio State campus. “I loved everything about the show except for one thing: I wasn’t onstage playing also,” he says. After the show, he met lead singer and future bandmate Tyler Joseph, and a couple of days later began to build a friendship with him. It would be another year before Joseph’s original drummer quit and Dun got the job, but they had become best friends in the meantime.

By 2012, Joseph had grown into a ferocious performer, climbing the scaffolding and diving into audiences. The duo became the biggest band in central Ohio, putting every spare penny into the band and focusing intensely on their local fans. They filmed much of the “Stressed Out” video at Dun’s childhood home, so it has become a destination for Twenty One Pilots fans.

The highest point of his sort of musical journey was (according to his words) when he played for a college show at Ohio University. It was full of drunken kids, one of them even tried to pee on his drums and then on their merch. They eventually played one song and after it, the police shut them down. However, he said that it was the first show that he played with Tyler Joseph. He realized during this one song that he was playing with his best friend and he will never forget that.

The duo then released the band’s second studio album, Regional at Best. It was self-released on July 8, 2011. Regional at Best is a discontinued album. It is the last album released by the band prior to signing a record deal with Fueled by Ramen, and it is the first album to feature the talents of Josh Dun.

Josh Dun was raised in conservative, religious households. Video games and most rocks or hip-hop albums were banned. "I’d hide albums like Green Day’s Dookie under my bed," Dun says. "Sometimes they’d find them and get real mad. They’d find a Christian alternative, like Relient K, and make me listen to that."

For a while, the only movies allowed in the house came from CleanFlicks, a Christian company that took Hollywood movies and edited out all the profanity, sexuality and violence. For a young Dun, it made watching movies like The Terminator quite confusing. "Some scenes they’d remove entirely," he says. "Watching those movies was an absolutely awful experience."

By the time he was a teenager, Josh was rebelling hard. "I just had this aggression," he says, noting that his parents nearly kicked him out when he was 14. "They almost sent me to a military school. They did not know what to do with me, and I was always in detention. I never got into drugs or alcohol, but I would yell at my parents and just treat them terribly. Everything was an argument. Looking back, they were trying their best."

When his parents fell asleep, he would break out his punk-pop CDs; eventually, they softened up on rock music, allowing him to assemble a drum kit in his basement piece by piece with his own money. After he said this to some interviewers, he called his parents to explain himself.

"I actually called my parents after some articles came out – I never wanted for them to be painted in a bad light.

‘I’m so thankful for the way that I was raised. Ultimately, the idea of parents being strict or having rules, looking back, I did have a really rebellious phase and did whatever I could to do the opposite of what they wanted.

‘That’s all on me. For them, I think they were trying to do their best to raise me as best they could. They were trying to make the best decisions for me, and looking back, I can see they were the right decisions.

‘As I look at the rules I had, I wasn’t allowed to play video games or watch TV, so I went outside and made up games with my neighbourhood friends or built dirt ramps and rode our bikes over them.

‘I would be out from morning to night. I look at that, and I can’t imagine it if my parents had let me sit in and watch TV all day – I’d be a different person to who I am today, it’s thanks to them saying ‘‘get out and go do something"

He did not go to college, moving in with a bunch of buddies instead and playing in local bands while scraping by working in the drum department of Guitar Center. "I was going nowhere," he says. "One day I said to my dad, ‘Are you disappointed that I’m working a minimum-wage job and I didn’t go to college?’ I’ll never forget his response. He said, ‘It’s not about how much money you make or what your job is, but it’s more about your character. For that, I’m proud of you.’ It gave me motivation."

During an interview, Josh said “We’re always questioning things,” he says, “but I guess it’s safe to say that we’re both Christians.”

Although Columbus is still very much the Pilots’ base, Josh actually moved out to L.A a couple of years ago in pursuit of more sunshine while Tyler remained there. However, he says it has not made them working together any more difficult. “I’m equally in Columbus as much as I am there. We discussed this a lot before I moved out there. I always feared talking about us being in different places because I think that can be confusing to people from an outside standpoint - like are you guys still friends? Are you still in the band? We had so many conversations about logistics, but first of all, we’re together more than we’re not together over the course of a year. We’re on the phone every day and with technology, it’s so easy to get things done.”

On January 8, 2013, Vessel was born, it was their first album after signing with Fueled By Ramen and it received mainstream exposure. On May 17, 2015, Blurryface was released and the band received international success.

In July 2017, Twenty One Pilots went on hiatus for a year whilst they worked on their next album. On October 5, 2018, Trench was released, it was also a commercial success, reaching number one in six countries, including Australia, New Zealand, Spain, and the Netherlands and number two in several countries, notably the United Kingdom and the United States, as well as selling more than a million copies worldwide.

Therefore, he needed to learn how to deals with notoriety, he had the help of Tyler Joseph (of course), his family, and Debby Ryan. Indeed, from May 2013 to September 2014, he had a relationship with her. They got back together a few years later and in December 2018, Josh posted on Instagram his engagement to Debby in New Zealand during the second leg of The Bandito Tour. He wrote, «I found a tree house in the woods in New Zealand and proposed to my girl. She my dude for life. I love you Debby".

She also posts about it «My dude asked me on a date. I said yeah because I always want to go on dates with him. Then he asked me to be his forever dude. He does things well, and right. His timing has pressed us and never failed us. He's sincere and fun and disciplined and strong as heck and a nerd and a rockstar and a good midwestern man and a silly shirtless boy, and his family is endlessly warm and delightful and are such champions. I have two parents and a brother; they're superheroes and they're my home. They've been the only thing that moves my needle with the fierceness of deep empathy. I have never that out in the world. I guess I figured it wasn't a connection you could stumble upon, only something you could only be born into. Falling in love with joshua was discovering it in the wild. Building it with him, building in certainty, infinite in wonder. Our own lil family. Feels like growing up and moving through life is just evolving through different types of complicated. He is where all the voices narrow into one sound. My only simplicity, where the important things are clear and the other things aren't that important. He's my heart outside my body. He's a cold water awakening a warm bed; he's the place I can rest. Dudes for life. It was a really good date."

Josh has many tattoos and every single one have a strong signification. Firstly, John Graefe tattooed his right arm and then tell the story of it. “I was tattooing in Hollywood and he came in with bandmate, Tyler. They weren’t half as big as they are today and I had no idea at first. I just asked him the whole meaning behind his tattoo and he asked me to come up with the vision.”

The tattoo on his right arm had a blue geometric-like image or something that looks like a galaxy. Below is the image of nature. The musician mentioned that he would share this if it’s personally asked, but he did not want it spreading all over the Internet.

Both he and Tyler have an "X" tattoo on their body symbolizing their dedication to their hometown fans in Columbus, Ohio. They received it on stage during their hometown show at the Lifestyle Communities Pavilion on April 26, 2013. Dun's is located on his neck behind his right ear.

In October 2015, Tyler and Josh asked their fans to choose one of them among themselves via a vote on Twitter. The winner should have his name on the loser on stage. For 24 hours, the two boys shot several videos parodying the presidential debates on topics such as Christmas music or their favorite drink, the Red bull. The results of the vote were equal. Therefore, Dun sports the name "Tyler" above his left knee.

Josh has a tattoo on the inside of his left arm dedicated to his mom. A heart with "mom" written inside of it. Which she answers on Instagram by “These past few months have been exciting seeing how far Josh and Tyler have gone. But it’s been a little hard for me as a mother to feel like I have to share my son with the world. Josh, you getting this tattoo means so much to me. I love you and now your stuck with Mom forever! <3”

He has a drum tattoo on his left arm.

Chantelle Thong made his last tattoo during the Bandito Tour, on December 2018. It represents an astronaut/spaceman flipping, while simultaneously being abducted or levitating into a spaceship. It might be a reference to March to the sea. Fans assumed that the spaceman is Josh Dun.

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cajunpotateaux · 4 years

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An open letter to my dad’s side of the family,

I don’t quite really know where to begin.. I could start with the beginning of my life, but I don’t have many memories to recall, but from what I hear y’all have some pretty golden memories of me.. I can’t really start with the early childhood-adolescence either, because it wasn’t enough for any of y’all to worry about, much less the 5-15 year old, (lol?) Okay then, I’ll start there, 2012, sophomore year of high school, the best and my best year, (special thank you to the Badeaux Family.) This is the year that Johnny stopped paying any of the bills he was paying... I remember Gamy filling our fridge, because there was literally only mayo in there... We ended up being evicted, so all 4 of us packed up and moved in with Grandma Cindy and Grandpa Wayne.. Thank you, for opening up your home to us and doing the best you could, I unfortunately did not stay because I preferred to stay at my high-school, but I am glad I didn’t because I could only imagine the responsibility of mediator. BUT like wtf.... I can only imagine how this single of mother of three, teetering in such an abusive relationship must’ve felt gathering her kids up to stay at her EX-HUSBAND’S FATHER’S HOUSE?? And y’all judged the fuck out of her, for the men she talked to and confided in you in, to her whereabouts when she was trying to find a job, and whatever the fuck. Y’all think she wanted to have to do that? You think she was trying to do it for her own benefit?? If your son, would’t have up and left her with 2 fucking kids, do you think she’d be in this position? Or wouldn’t you think all of this was because she needed to take care of the family HER AND JOSHUA started???? DO YOU REALLY THINK IT WAS ONLY HER RESPONSIBILITY?? Okay, whatever it didn’t work out (not surprised) and Mama moves in with Gamy and Gampy, cool, i missed my siblings anyway. Once mama gets back up on her feet again, gets a house (right down the road from kaylyn which saved my life,) and low and behold, guess which motherfucker weasels his way back into our lives’? Oh boy did you guess it! Johnny E. Taylor, made his way back into my moms heart because he was tired of staying on his mama’s sofa, tsk tsk. I’m 15 at this time, 2014, teachers talk to Mrs. Christina Badeaux at this time and tell them how much my attitude and dedication have really taken a downturn, I also started smoking weed this year.

Johnny’s around for a couple of months, but I’m too strong minded at this point.. He can’t abuse us anymore, physically, mentally, nothing. He’s weak and he leaves, but I’m sure he still managed to drain my mom of what he could.. My mom and I had a rough time after he left, I’m sure I could have been a little more sensitive to her “withdrawals” but I was just too damn happy, I was just too damn safe. Once he left, mom and I had some problems.. I can’t recall exactly where they lay, but there were some pretty flamboyant altercations. From there I went into my senior year, the first part of that year was fun, honestly, I was so in lust with that I wasn’t thinking straight, but who could blame her? 2015.. 5 years ago from where I am now, that’s ringer year. That boy I was so in lust with, was cheating on me and breaking up with me every holiday (you’d think I’d realize,) got my first job at Black’s, and basically stopped going to school. I got arresting Mardi Gras night this year, as a 17 year old passenger, with less that .5 gram of weed in my purse and 1 item of paraphernalia, with no identification. AND Y’ALL LET ME PLEAD NO CONTEST, WITH NOT A LAWYER??? You mean to tell me my FEDERAL BUREAU OF INVESTIGATION working grandparents, let their 17 year old granddaughter, walk into a court room with no lawyer... Ok, whatever. I took my lick, sentencing went a little something like this:

Judge: we’ll drop the paraphernalia charge, and your punishment is $800 in fines or 10 days in jail.

Me: Do I have a certain amount of time to pay the fine?

Officer: Yes, we can suspend your license for 30 days and you have 30 days to pay that.

Me: Ok, but I’m a 17 year old senior and I live in Abbeville, and take a bus to and from school or have my mom bring me to work.

Officer: Ok, then I’ll have to book you until you pay, and every day a balance drops off your fine.

Me: uh ok...

I then went to jail for a total of 5 days, of my 10 day sentence, before Gampy came to get me (: He paid my fines, and just reminded me to be sure to pay him back. I could absolutely do that, thank you Gampy. After this, spring break started and after that, I couldn’t deal with the shit of walking into that school after being arrested and gone for almost 3 weeks straight now. I just stopped going. I later on got a call from the school board in April, and they wondered about me, they had faith in me, it felt like, “we don’t even know your father, so we have no preconceived idea of who you’re going to be other than, you’re wonderful school record up until the last couple of months.” They let me finish my classes online, and walk with my class through that rachet ass gym. You should have seen my peers faces (; Only downside was, I no longer had to pay back the $300 left to Gampy as a graduation gift. Now mind you I’m more than happy to have my debts paid, but I’m a little sentimential when it comes to gifts for my achievements and its sucks to look back and my ONLY graduation gift was $300 to a fine.. My dad got out of jail the next day...

I graduated and was determined to get my boyfriend back. So I did, and we moved in together that June. Had a great time, it was nice to get out of Abbeville. August of this year was the worst, but now that I look back was a form of rebirth for my self. The first week of August, just days after paying rent, my boyfriend admits that he doesn’t love me (surprise!) I refuse to move out, until the month is over ( have to wait for my mom to help me move.) We break up, and a couple of days later I get to see Ethan, I didn’t know this, but it would be the last time I’d ever see him. We laughed about him being in room 420, and he tells me happy birthday.. A couple days later it’s my 18th birthday!! Which was super overrated, and my dad got arrested a couple of days later, and Ethan found peace after a long fight. Completely defeated after this month, I moved home and I didn’t finish my probation.

The next couple of months are a blur but also survival mode.. Mom was going to work, and cosmetology school. I was sleeping, watching Andie and Aiden, cleaning the house and trying to figure out what to make for dinner with $6.29 at the dollar store.. I got caught shoplifting at wal-mart, moved in with these 30 year old lesbians, and lost the most important chest, containing birth certificates, letters from my dad, any hs artwork, ALLL my important personals, gone. Forgot in a house, and thrown away. Moved back in with mom, and wasted away on a sofa from November till March, until I called Grandma and Grandpa, asking for help to regain direction in my life, so they offered to move me out to Idaho and do their best. Yay! I moved here thinking of how great of a relationship we could create and how much I could learn, I mean I have so much fun with them on vacation, lol. Grandma, I love you and I thank you for your hardworking genes, but like c’monnnn I’m you’re closest blood, and I’m not just talking miles. I’m talking my existence is literally due part to the being you had. And you don’t even put an effort into knowing me, you think you have me all figured out with everything you’ve heard through grape vines or whatever, bullshit. I’ve been closer to you than I ever been and it doesn’t even feel like it. You’re the only family I have in a great radius and I’ve literally had to create my own at 22 years old without creating the same mistakes as my parents. So give me a round of applause because we all know I deserve it. You were gunna let me get wrapped up in a system just like my father. AND THEN GRANDPA ROY TELLS ME HE’D LIKE TO SMOKE WEED AGAIN AT HIS RETIREMENT PARTY??? that’s really how y’all let that go down, and then have the nerve to make judgement of my life thinking that I may take a path of my father??? To restrict nurturing and love towards me because you can’t control the freedom therefore outcome of my life.. Is it because you feel accountable in some way??? I overcame all odds, and I will destroy the generational muck you’ve left for me.

With that being said, you can deny your accountability, but the way I see it, Josh wasn’t there for Andie and I. My parents created a life the both wanted, and my dad left, leaving ALL responsibility on my mom. Now I definitely know that if the 2 families that make up my father’s side of the family, stepped up the best they could like Gamy and Gampy to fill in the pieces my mom couldn’t, I wholeheartedly believe that Andie and I’s perception of childhood could have been a little lighter. A couple of months ago, Grandpa Roy said a comment while I was working that really shook my world.. We were talking about my mom, as it so causally comes up, saying, “we had to draw the line at buying her a house.” Initially, I laughed it off, because my mom is known of asking a little too much. But as a 22 year old, I couldn’t imagine having a kid, much less another 4 years after that, and then DADDY LEAVES. But I could only imagine, what not having to worry about putting a roof over the children's heads’ could’ve prevented. Maybe my mother would have been more confident to do it all on her own, less dependent on the man that’s abused her kids. I can only imagine.

With that being said, none of this mentions any of Andie’s story, the one who I tried my hardest to protect, but was always the easier victim.

I am thankful for the blood I have received, I believe the strong mentality is what got me through the hardest parts of my life so far. I will continue to look for solace for my childhood Lilly, for she deserves the world.

#diary #openletter #thoughts #prayers #solace

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purplesurveys · 4 years

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626

HI BELATED HAPPY NEW YEAR

First things first, did you have a good year? I would say most of it was good. I did most of the stuff I said I was going to do so I’m giving myself pats on the back for that. Things just kinda took a turn for the worse by the end of the year what with an ambiguous end to my most recent semester (I don’t have two of my seven final grades yet because my prof likes seeing her students suffer, I guess) and losing Nacho, so it all balances out.

How old did you turn this year? I turned 21. Which means legality in the US, but I’ve been legal in the Philippines for three years now so it doesn’t warrant much of a celebration lol.

Do you feel your age? I guess. There are days where it’s very tempting to feel inadequate because there are many 21-year-olds in my social circle who have their own business, are grabbing opportunities here and there (they’re in a successful band, are junior radio jocks, hired as emcees, serve as UAAP courtside reporters, to name a few), already make their own money, etc., but I just have to remind myself that everybody is moving at their own pace and that in my case, at least I’m not behind and that I’m moving remarkably fairly for my age.

Did your appearance change in anyway? Nah I BARELY did anything to my look this year. I did not go for a haircut at all in 2019 and now my hair is crazy long. I’m keeping it untrimmed until my grad shoot, so the long hair will stay with me for a while.

Post your favorite selfie. I would but Tumblr doesn’t really work the same way as Twitter where I’d feel more free to share photos of myself haha.

If you traveled, where did you go? My family went to Pangasinan, Bicol, Tagaytay, and Cavite this year. I also took my friends on a day trip to Nasugbu shortly before school started in August as sort of a last hurrah for our summer vacation.

Which fashion trends did you love? Which fashion trends did you hate? I initially liked chunky sneakers until everyone bought their own pair solely so that they’d feel like they’re one of the cool kids – it quickly became uncool after that. I was a fan of mom jeans (still am), high-waisted jeans, culottes, and tops in muted colors and had cute little bows in the chest area. I hated bike shorts and scrunchies, and slowly got tired of off-shoulder tops by the end of the year. I never understood tracksuits and never bought one of my own, and was also never a fan of hype fashion like DBTK shirts.

What was your favorite article of clothing this year? Post a pic if possible? I looooooooved the floral romper and the two-piece ensemble I was both able to snag at Feliz.

What song sums up this year for you? Buwan by juan karlos, the two reasons being that the song exploded in 2019 and because it was Nacho’s favorite and he made a million jokes about it.

What album came out and has been on heavy rotation since then? This question is a little vague so I’ll answer it in two ways. In my case, I definitely played Beyonce’s Homecoming album TOO MUCH last year. But radio-wise, it looked like Ariana Grande and Camila Cabello had stellar years.

What was your favorite movie of the year? I had several favorite movies, but here they are put in order: Portrait of a Lady on Fire, Midsommar, and Toy Story 4.

Did an actor/actress catch your attention for the first time this year? Florence fucking Pugh. Also I just realized how attractive Timothee Chalamet is, although I’ve been aware of him way before 2019 and haven’t watched any of his material.

Favorite new TV show? I watched the first few episodes of Stranger Things but I found it too slow-paced so I let it go easily. Other than that I didn’t really get into any 2019 shows because I’m not a big TV person, but I did recently get into Descendants of the Sun so that’s new for me! Queer Eye will also always have a place in my heart.

Which new ship/fandom has taken over a lot of your time, attention, and tears? I’m a little too old for that now but I did heavily get into the Try Guys. I don’t ship any of them together but I just genuinely love each of them, them as a group, and all the content they put out.

What food did you try for the first time? Ooh there’s a lot. Foie gras, aligue (crab fat) ramen, Bloody Mary, pistachios, a vanilla frappe from Starbucks, Tim Hortons food, ji pai (Taiwanese fried chicken) and pad thai, to name a few. I’m so so so pumped to try out even more new food in 2020.

Did you make any big permanent changes this year? I stopped talking to my brother.

What was one nice thing you did for someone else? Being one of the only two people in my org who can drive, I’ve always offered lifts to my friends. I don’t say anything even if where I’m taking them is entirely off my normal route, which frustrates Gabie, but honestly I just like helping my friends and making their commute easier for them. I also checked up on Nacho a day before he passed. I regret being too civil, but at least I checked up on him. Not a lot of people did that in his last few days.

What was one nice thing you did for yourself? Ok so one thing my org does is hold journalism workshops to schools across the country. The org is a bit small and not all the members are reliable, so what usually happens is that the same group of people attend the workshops and teach and facilitate – me being a part of that same group of people. Given that we have class during weekdays and these workshops happen on weekends, the schedule can be very demanding, especially if these schools request a shit-ton of topics for us to teach them. I sort of looked out for myself more this year by declining to go to a couple of the workshops, so that I can experience actually having a full weekend to myself.

Did you develop a new obsession? I discovered a YouTuber who is insanely good at Mario Kart 8 and I watched a ton of his playthroughs in 2019. Oh, and MUKBANG ASMRs. It’s an insanely unpopular opinion but I love chewing noises, dude.

Did you vote? It was the senatorial elections this year and yes, I did vote. None of my votes got in, of course, because unfortunately the rest of the Filipino electorate don’t know any better. I was part of a real-time fact-checking group that day for extra class credit, and I will never forget the collective groan and moan that came out of that room when the first batch of results came out on the news and we saw the same corrupt, power-hungry, money-hungry, anti-poor politicians top the polls.

Did you move? No. I’ve lived in the same house since 2008.

Did you get a job? I did not, BUT I did get an internship which I was pretty stoked about.

Did you get a pet? I did not. I don’t want anyone else but my dog, who I’ve had also since 2008.

Do you regret not doing anything? Sure. I have never taken Gab’s mom out on a girls’ night kind of date, and I always told myself that I was going to finally do that in 2019 – which I didn’t. I’m so going to make sure we do it this year. I’m also sad that I didn’t get to see Angela more times last year. And that I didn’t do more for Nacho, so now I have to live with the loss of him forever.

Do you regret doing something? Nothing is coming to mind so I guess nothing major. <-- Pretty much, thankfully.

Have you done anything that scared you? Tried vaping, did shisha for the first time, walk alone in Katipunan, be stuck at a restaurant table with Gab’s (very stoic) dad while she went to the washroom, to name a few lol. On a deeper note, I was a bad girlfriend several times over 2019 and it rocked the relationship quite a bit.

Did anyone/thing make you so mad it stayed with you for days? Yeah absolutely. I hated the people who went too far when it came to Nach, especially his ‘friends’ who didn’t hesitate to turn his back on him. And when things finally crashed and burned, I was too fucking pissed at everybody to even say something about it.

Did you lose anyone close to you? Yes.

Did you fall in love? For most of 2019 as with 2014, 2015, 2016, 2017, and 2018, yes.

Did you fall out of love? Nope.

Did you start a new relationship? I did not.

Did you go through a break up? I almost had to, but we sat each other down several times in the year to fix what had to be fixed, and it’s been very smooth sailing since.

Did you have to cut ties to someone? They weren’t people I was close to in any extent, but I’ve blocked several people from a certain elite school because I hate that school.

Who was important to you this year but wasn’t important last year? No one strongly comes to mind since I basically just retained my circle, but I did meet Gab’s closest cousin this year for the first time, and anyone who’s family to her is automatically important to me, so I’d go with him.

Who wasn’t as important to you this year as they were last year? This is going to sound completely awful, but I guess my college blockmates. I was always sort of the ~black sheep in our small batch of 7 while all of them are incredibly close with one another. 2019 was the year that I stopped trying to hang out with them, because I realized that no matter how hard I try, we’re really just on different wavelengths and I can’t keep faking my expressions and mannerisms just so I feel accepted or so that I can survive a day with them.

If you could have a do over on one thing you did, would you take it? Yeah, I definitely wish I cut some of my classes much less.

What was the best moment of the year for you? What was the worst? There were a lot of high moments from 2019 if we’re being honest. I liked taking Gab and her dad out for a ONE Championship pay-per-view back in January, I liked being invited to her dad’s birthday dinner, my road trip to Nasugbu, every day that my dad was here, going to the beach, partying for Halloween with friends, seeing old friends again in our org Christmas party, that one night Gab and I went to BGC just to bar-hop, our fancypants date that was also in BGC, and I’m sure there’s a bunch more that I’ve forgotten to mention. The absolute worst moment came at the very minute I pieced it together and found out *surprise surprise* Nacho was gone forever. I don’t think I was able to speak for two hours. When I did, I ended up crying the rest of the night until I passed out.

Did anything happen that you were sure would change you as a person but it really didn’t? Not-so-serious answer, but I thought I was gonna live my entire life without needing injections to my mouth, but lo and behold I went to the dentist in December and got THREE. I thought I was going to pass out, I thought it was going to hurt, I thought I was going to thrash around my seat in terror... I ended up not even feeling anything. I dunno if it’s because I got a lower dose of whatever, or if my dentist is just better than others, but the whole experience went much better than I expected. This may sound shallow but I have the biggest needle-and-any-sharp-object phobia, so this is a lot coming from me hahaha.

Did anything happen to you that you were sure wouldn’t change you as a person but it did? Watching Portrait of a Lady on Fire. Gab just needed a companion to the cinema that night; I had no idea what the movie was going to be about and even read the entire plot while trailers were showing – in the end, it’s been me who’s been talking about the movie way way more than she.

What are you most proud of accomplishing? Not killing myself. The 2010s was just me internally betting on when I’d finally pull the plug, but I had what it took to get me to 2020, apparently.

What have you learned about yourself this year that you didn’t know in the years prior? That everything you do and say on the internet is permanent, and you’ll forever have to live with the the consequences that come from them.

Did your opinion of anyone change for the better? Andrew. Before 2019, I found him so horrifyingly clingy, so chatty, and he was always trying to be close to everyone (he still does). It drove the introvert side of my ambivert-ness absolutely NUTS. At one point I realized he wasn’t going to change, so I just gave him a chance and turns out, he’s a great friend and an even better co-worker hahaha.

Did your opinion of anyone change for worse? Everybody who claimed to be Nach’s friend but didn’t find it hard to say vile stuff about him.

If you make resolutions, did you complete them this year? I told myself I was going to make a one-photo-a-day private Instagram dump for 2019, but I stopped as early as January 27 LMAOOOOO. I’m doing it again this year and I’m much more determined to keep it going.

If you make resolutions, what will your resolutions be for the coming year? Keep my 2020 Instagram active, be able to travel... and be happier, basically.

If you could go on an adventure during the remaining days of the year, where would you go and what would you do? Who would you go this? A little too late my dude. I’m typing this out in 2020.

What do you wish for others for the coming year? What do you wish for yourself? I just hope everybody on here feels a little bit more warmth and happiness, dude. We all deserve it.

#survey #surveys

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