New Alphacest fic! This is for you if you like wet clothes and uncomfortable sex. And also if you want to experience Dirk being gently washed and cared for. 😌

AN EASY EXAMPLE OF HOW YOUR MIND CAN BE CONTROLLED!

NOW YOU KNOW WHY 5G PHONE TOWERS ARE ON EVERY STREET CORNER!

John Larroquette in Altered States (1980)

-Whatever Sunday!-

I started with a horrible art block yesterday and ended with an important life lesson. Cant draw human bodies? DONT! Struggle with clothing folds? DRAW SOMETHING WITHOUT FOLDS!

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Kallus was fortunate enough to be part of my mental breakdown, because you cant spell teletubbies without ISB 👍

something about rei that i love is how under his multitudes of personas he's really just a guy who craves connection and community. he grew up being a giver and helper, a supply of advice to people he had no business holding responsibilities for. he had few friends until high school and by that point it's not like it comes easy to him to have normal close relationships of really any kind. his human-ness is something that scares him too much to face. having needs and being someone who others want to help and hold space for. it isn't something he accepts easily. hurting as a teenager is different from hurting as an adult but i think there's something so dooming about the feeling that supposedly the worst years of his life have passed, but he's still lonely. he still isn't quite sure what he wants or who he is.

took 2 benadryls in the last two hours. can’t go home for another two.

The Deep Self - John Lilly : John Cunningham Lilly MD : Free Download, Borrow, and Streaming : Internet Archive

Vermis Fabula- Felipe Froeder

in the tags, share if you would like to have more conscious & discovery-filled dream experiences. I might start a challenge in July on my blog to help people with that

An old, never seen before sketch of Daniil doing coke off of Artemy's back. You're welcome. :D

[fic: double-blind] Hi Tony! So that was some _shit_ you went through, i imagine being forcefully personality swapped into a megalomaniacal dictator would do a number on anyone's brain. Since actual therapy is hardly realistic in your case, what are you doing to cope? Do you have any big or small rituals, any activities that help you feel better? If not atm, do you plan on eventually trying to find some way to healthy-ish cope with your trauma?

Drinking.

--Oh, you said "healthy-ish."

Drinking responsibly.

took me way too long to realize that the narmer veils remind me of the masks corrupted wear

...

was sifting through episodes of the bear, looking for moments when carmy smokes for, um, reasons, and i noticed that carmy keeps his cigarettes in his pants pocket and not his apron.

it's such a miniscule detail—one that i'm probably reading way too much into, but it stood out to me. carmy's apron is an item of significance to him. aprons in general in the fine dining world seem to act like an insignia. they're not just part of a uniform, they're a badge of honor. a signifier that you belong to a specific kitchen, a specific community.

he keeps his phone in his apron. he keeps his trusty little spoon in his apron. but not his cigarettes. the one vice that we see carmy indulge in is the one thing he almost separates from the kitchen, and that just tickles my brain in ways i can't fully describe or comprehend.

carmy doesn't smoke in the restaurant, well, usually. we see him smoke outside, and we see him smoke in his apartment (because of course he smokes in his apartment but not the restaurant).

we see carmy smoke in the kitchen once.

it's after the cataclysmic events of e7. carmy's seeing flashes of michael's old invoices, bills that are long past due, the numbers of vendors who are probably on the verge of cutting the restaurant off, and he paces—his anxieties are no longer contained to fidgeting hands. he pauses for a moment as the crew toils away in the background, and then he reaches for his pack of cigarettes.

the stove top clicks and carmy lowers his cigarette to its flame only to be met with an inferno. he backs away and any fear carmy feels is twisted into something else. he's mesmerized, and not just by the flames, but what they promise.

carmy wants nothing more than for the restaurant to burn and his anxieties to burn with it. it's only for a moment but that desire is so encompassing, so irresistible, it leaves him utterly transfixed.

the fire in the kitchen is extinguished, but whatever is burning inside of carmy has only been reduced to embers. it'll get stoked again, and i can't wait 'til it does.

Se we know that you are currently exploring your feral side: how do you feel about being the subject of a feral out burst?

Lips pulled past sneering teeth. A long sinuous tongue coiling and writhing, waiting for a taste of your flesh. Need practically pouring from their sex, only one word pounding in their head:

BREED

BREED

BREED

No | rather not | I dunno | I guess | Sure | Yes | FUCK yes | Oh god you don’t even know |

if it answers your question, i blushed reading this ask 😳