#also you should read this fic ive been so ill about it i am constantly thinking of aftermath situations | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

starleska · 2 years

Note

i'm not even being patient, you simply respond to all of my asks more than quickly enough <3!! they're pretty long so again, take your time ^^!! therapy can be sooo exhausting so please remember to take care of yourself nd everything <33!

i was talking about a TOTALLY different old man HAHAHA i've been watching a lot of ducktales 2017 and grew fond of both scrooge n flintheart through it lmaoooo,, especially the latter has very few redeeming qualities and is supposed to be insufferable but like,, im in love with the blorbo version of him that lives in my brain, LMAO

ohhh you just know he would REFUSE to do the animation if anyone else was obviously watching the screen as well- it's just for you <33! i imagine he wouldn't do it either if you're recording it, because he wants it to be only for you haha,, you think very hard about the unlock conditions for the specific animation but it seems completely random! oh well. (totally self indulgent note here but i am silly in public for a living and would totally blow a kiss back @ the animation or smth LMAO) and!!! ill look forward to seeing it!!! id reblog it but i only rlly have writing blogs on tumblr ughhhh maybe i should just finally make a selfship ramble one lol

the true sadness is that king candy never showed up in the second movie man </3 the chaos he'd wreck on the internet would've been very much entertaining LMAO !!! i'm glad you enjoy the phone idea as well :D!! you just randomly find notes from him in your tumblr drafts or your notes app! he'd be constantly watching you through your front camera and if he's unhappy with someone he sees, your phone will just start vibrating VIOLENTLY nonstop lmao. also something silly i immediately thought of; i don't know if this is something you're familiar with but in some dating sim apps you'll have like this little minigame where you can like poke the love interest and they'll have these little responses? god. brainrot. i would just poke his bald little head man HAHAHHAHAH

my asks just get keeping longer thank u for reading all this and hearing me out TT i should just write a little fic about this guy already but man english is NOT my native language and he speaks in a pretty specific silly way sometimes that i do not know how to replicate well,, doesn't help that ive only watched the english version once vs. the many other times ive seen it haha

hello again you lovely individual!! once again i must apologise for my delayed response. i received some pretty big news this week that's left me not so well, and i wanted to come back and reply properly when in a better frame of mind. thank you for your patience 🥰

OHHH oh my god you are so damn valid for this, i always thought Scrooge was kinda fine 😳 capitalists just hit different! and Flintheart is a GILF i'm not gonna lie 😂😂 Ducktales 2017 just gets you by the throat!! i remember being so head over heels for Gyro Gearloose (basic bitch that i am)…kind of interested in rewatching to see if another bastard catches my attention…but for real, isn't it wonderful when you love a truly dreadful character? whatever version you have of him in your head, i'm sure he likes you very much 😉

ahhh i feel all special 😖💖 honestly going a little down the darker path i kind of vibe with Y/N questioning their reality the more time they spend noticing these special animations…wondering if they're losing touch with their sanity, and becoming gradually more obsessed with figuring out exactly what it is about this arcade cabinet and its enigmatic, unique character…also hell yes!! you should absolutely make the selfship ramble blog, it'll make you feel so happy 💖💖 i admire those of you who can separate your blogs out, i just pour out my silly loves into one place and all my poor followers have to deal with the blorbo of the week 😂

we'll never recover will we 💔💔 like for real Ralph Breaks the Internet makes me sad for its lost narrative potential…if not King Candy, then there were several perfectly good character candidates to be put into a fantastic antagonistic role!! to truly show the power (and horror) of the internet!! the vibrating phone idea is so cute dfgfds;;; perhaps he could even track into your friend's social media and send them fake messages/texts to get them to leave. oh YES i knew someone very into…was it Mystic Messenger? that had that mechanic and oh it's adorable :3c

thank YOU for sending these lovely asks in and gushing about our favourite sweet-themed hacker!! i'm so sorry for being a boring monolingual person - you could and should totally write him in your native language!! do you have any clips? i love seeing how characters have been portrayed in different ways, and i'm curious if Alan Tudyk's lisping mob boss vibe has been carried across 👀

#starleskasks

1 note · View note

aliensunflower-fics · 3 years

Text

In Defense of Salt AND Sugar: Aka ML Fandom pls chill out.

So I don’t talk much as those who follow me will say I tend to just stick to myself and my own things. HOWEVER, Ive gotten a lot of asks about why I write both Salt and Sugar for Miraculous Ladybug.

The short answer: Both salt and sugar are valid, fun, intriguing things to read and write and the point of writing is to entertain and be entertained.

The long answer: Salt isn’t inherently someone hating on your fav show and sugar isn't someone necessarily giving it a free pass either. Ya’ll are just dramatic as hell.

The LONGER answer:

I write salt because I LIKE Miraculous Ladybug, BUT the show has not lived up to its potential AT ALL. The show could be so much better and the characters are so flawed or full of holes that occasionally I feel FRUSTRATED and mad!

I hate that Alya a character who I was so excited about, gets shafted ignored, sidelined, or written like a jerk! She could have been this great detective working alongside her friend to unmask the villain, but instead she often comes across as pushy, obsessed with Ladynoir or Adrinette, and so damn easily tricked. Not to mention how when shes not gushing over her ‘ships’ shes pushed to the side and ignored. [or you know... LILA]

I hate that Marinette’s crush makes her do things that are so cringy and awkward i feel ill I hate that she’s constantly the only one making mistakes and ‘learning lessons’ when the show has all these other great characters that could use the spotlight and be the ones learning lessons. I hate that she’s so jealous and that she cant ever seem to catch a break as if the show is punishing her constantly.

I HATE that Adrien is a mary sue, how the writers say hes perfect and treat him as such, I hate that he gets to guilt Marinette into fixing everything and dealing with bullies, I wanted a funny, Ron Stoppable, naive boy who learns about real friendships and grows into a great partner. Instead he gets to be pushy and downright a jerk as Chat Noir ignoring his responsibilities, guilting Ladybug with his feelings, never taking no as an answer. He’s not a good role model for kids.

I hate that Chloe got built up to have a redemption arc several times only for the writers to decide that Chloe a teenage girl who needs some serious therapy [and actual reasonable punishment for her actions] is worse than Gabriel child abuse Agreste. She could have been a great lesson on compassion and growth and dealing with your own pain without hurting others. Instead the writers wrote her off completely.

And dont get me started on how the show treats Nino, Kagami, Luka and the rest of the cast. They may as well be a backdrop for the forced love square that we NEVER get a break from. Seriously I’m a sucker for romance but does it need to be EVERY damn episode?! Can’t we just get some wholesome friendship between everyone including Adrien and Marinette at this point like COME ON.

And i’m not even touching on the white washing, awful lessons on responsibility and forgiveness, awful lessons on well so much other stuff really, the guilt trips, the teacher, the fact that she show could be used to teach kids how to better handle negative emotions and the importance of open communication and not keeping quiet about injustice and/or your feelings but instead decided that the main priority should be a love square that gets force fed to us EVERY SINGLE EPISODE.

My point is the show has FLAWS. That doesn’t mean its the worse show ever and it doesn’t mean its not fun, and has a great premise and characters, and so when I write Salt I write it because i’m frustrated! Im frustrated with the show, with the characters, with the writing and so I vent that out with salt I write those characters as their worst selves because I cant stand how the show has decided to treat them and Im ANGRY and disappointed.

It feels good to write salt and to read it. It’s nice to see characters get called out for bad behavior, its nice to read about Adrien not getting the girl. Its nice to occasionally indulge in salt because it validates that the show is flawed and lets you get out that frustration.

BUT ON THE FLIP SIDE

Miraculous Ladybug is a lovely show. It’s a show that decided to give little girls a FEMALE HERO. And not just as a side kick or background character! No they made her the protagonist! Its so important to me that little girls see good well rounded female characters in media.

And even if the show is clumsy about it they are TRYING to build an expansive lore that tickles the theorist brain. And gets people invested in the world.

The show also made Marinette shy, and awkward, and clumsy something a lot of girls deal with during puberty as growing up can literally make you clumsier as your body adjusts. Having a character who tries to be positive and tries to find solutions who solves things with creativity instead of pure violence. Thats LOVELY for young girls to see.

Growing up I loved and admired Kim Possible, and probably would have loved Marinette, even if the shows not perfect I can admit its trying and I can see why people love it as much as they do! And why they write these fluffy sugary fics its the reason I WRITE fluffy sugary things.

Because even though I am frustrated and angry and disappointed with the show, I still see Alya’s potential and how great she is as representation to little girls who want a black female superhero so I write fluff where Alya’s loyalty, compassion, cleverness and her pursuit of justice are center stage.

I see how Adrien could be better and I want him to be better and I WANT him to be the naive funny comic relief the Ron Stoppable to Marinette’s Kim Possible. I want Adrien to grow and learn and spit in his dad’s face I want him to overcome the abuse and be happy. To show people that neglect and abuse doesn’t mean you will get stuck like that forever, that you can overcome that and be a better kinder person.

I want Nino and Kagami, and Luka and Chloe and the class to grow and get attention and have funny moments I want to laugh and make other people laugh! So I write prompts focused around comedy and shenanigans and where the characters get to be fun and silly and make decisions for themselves!

SO IN CONCLUSION:

I write salt AND sugar. I see the value and merit in both sides of the coin, and I respect how other people see the show. I know its easy to get angry with other people in the fandom who see the show differently then you do but please can we put down the weapons and just BREATHE.

Someone who writes salt might LOVE the same show as you, and they might in fact love it so much that they vent their frustrations in angst and salt and cracky fics. Let them vent about how they wish the show was better, leave their tags alone or block them if you cant stand to see it. But dont attack salt writers for ‘hating on your show’ when they might love it just as much as you do but want a way to vent out their feelings.

On the flip someone who writes sugar might NOT be forgiving the show for its flaws, they might see all the same flaws as you but decide to take that frustration and write fluff and fix it fics and sugar because they want to indulge in a version of their favorite show where everything is just... OK. Where everyone is well written and happy and the character development sticks. Stay out of their tags let them have their sugar, they aren't writing it to hurt you just like you don't write salt to hurt them.

So ENOUGH. Enough hunting each other down, enough sending each other hate, enough filling each others tags. Let people write SALT if they feel angry and vengeful and disappointment, let them have their tags, let them explore the dark side of the characters, let them rant and rave and be HURT when the characters they love upset them with their actions. Its not your place to tell them to stop, to tell them their feelings are invalid, to tell them that ‘adrien is sweet sunshine boy how dare you’ or ‘alya would never’ or ‘i hate your marinette leaves dupont au’. Just leave it be, heed the tags, and let it go.

AND ENOUGH. Enough hunting each other down, enough sending each other hate, enough filling each other tags. Let people write SUGAR if they just want something to feel happy about. Let them makes coffee shop au’s, let them make fix it fics where everything is just happy without needing 8 pages of backstory for why everything is just happy. Let them squeal and gush and talk about the ship they like and the fluff they see. Its not your place to argue with them that the show is flawed, its not cool to ruin their fun by accusing them of not understanding the flaws, to tell them ‘umm actual this character shouldn’t get to be happy’ or ‘wow this is so shallow’. Just leave it be, heed the tags, and let it go.

PS: Now with that said and done. I do have one final message for everyone - If you write/enjoy pedophilia, if you sexualize KIDS. Then get the fuck out of fandom spaces, stop fucking following me, and do everyone salt and sugar a favor by LEAVING. Your pedophilia and child sexualization aint wanted, aint ok, and I will fight you.

PSS: IF YOU HATE WHAT IVE SAID ABOUT SUGAR AND SALT FINE OK I RESPECT YOU REGARDLESS. ENJOY THE SHOW, STAY CLASSY, DONT HURT PEOPLE BECAUSE THEY HAVE A DIFFERENT OPINION.

#its just me #ml salt #ml sugar #adrien salt #adrien sugar #alya salt #alya sugar #chloe salt #chloe sugar #miraculous ladybug #marinette dupain cheng #adrien agreste #alya cesaire #class salt #class sugar

295 notes · View notes

missmorosis · 3 years

Text

here’s our bus route map for my bus ride! (masterlist!)

here’s the original event post :)

HI EVERYONE!! i just wanted to thank you all for your participation BECAUSE AAAAAA YOU GUYS DELIVERED AND UGH I WAS LITERALLY SO WORRIED NOBODY WAS GONNA WRITE ANYTHING BUTSJFLKFASDF

ALL OF YOU ARE SO TALENTED OKAY??? LIKE BYE I WAS BLOWN AWAY

I WAS SO EXCITED FOR THIS EVENT HEHEHE I LOVE ALL OF YOU SO SO MUCH!! AND THE FACT THAT YOU SPENT TIME ON THIS EVENT 😭😭MWAH MWAHH

THANK YOU AGAIN FOR 400!! MUCH LOVE AND HUGS AND KISSES :D

ALSO SORRY AHHA THIS WAS POSTED SO LATE

WE IGNORE HOW IT’S PHYSICALLY IMPOSSIBLE TO GET FROM LA TO LONDON VIA BUS JKDFJKFJK

here’s how i formatted it!

title- author’s @!

pairing genre warnings word count their summary that they made

-> my review!

let’s take a look at our map...

starting from LA, heading to bilbao! we’ll stop along the bus stops on our way!

and yes im aware that the route is going in a weird, illogical way if bilbao is our last stop, shush i wasnt thinking when i made bilbao our last city KJDFJKS

masterlist under the cut!!

now arriving at... los angeles, California!

-> write an AU!! the AU can be literally anything: royalty AU? road trip AU? GO FOR IT!! just as long as it’s not in the canon era hehehe

first stop... “something only the stars know” - @luvoratomi

pairing: suna rintarou x gn!reader genre: secret relationship au, royal au, crown prince!suna, knight!reader, established relationship, fluff, angst word count: 544 their summary: in which you and crown prince, suna rintarou, find comfort in each other’s arms underneath the moonlight, where only the stars are witnesses of your love.

-> my review: um. nayru. OKAY IM CONSTANTLY BLOWN AWAY BY YOUR TALENT AND THIS IS NO EXCEPTION. i dont even KNOW who rintarou is but im in love with him. ALSO I DONT THINK IVE EVER READ A ROYAL AU BUT KLASDFJ THIS WAS SO?? WELL?? WRITTEN?? ive reread it at LEAST 5 times.

next stop... an untitled zombie au from @eunoianthia

pairing: yamaguchi tadashi x female!reader genre: zombie au, angst :) warnings: a lot of angst, death, a bit of gore? word count: 1.1k their summary: going to Los Angeles was a dream, and you were finally achieving it. It’s like a dream come true, going to Los Angeles and your boyfriend tagging along? What could go wrong?

-> my review: OKAY WAIT THIS IS THE FIRST ZOMBIE AU IVE EVER READ. like EVER. AND WHAT I DIDNT EXPECT IT TO HURT THIS MUCH. i- the ending- PLEASE I- i dont even know what to say. how COULD YOU.

now arriving at... 3:38 am from @arquitecturadelanada

pairing: zuko x fem!reader genre: roommates au, i would say fluff! warnings: none! word count: 1.1k their summary: As sokka’s best man zuko has to write a heartfelt speech for the wedding day, the only issue? he doesn’t believe in love, but maybe his roommate can change his perception on the matter.

-> my review: so youre saying this whole time youve been supporting my writing when YOU WRITE BETTER THAN I DO?? ugh you’re so talented this isn’t funny, and this fic ALMOST MAKES ME WANT TO BECOME AN ATLA BLOG AGAIN BAHHA- “he noticed he was considerably less stressed just by hearing his roommate’s voice” IM GONNA CRY

last stop... “what are the odds” from @hikariakaashi

pairing: kuroo x fem!reader genre: roommates au, i would say fluff! warnings: none! word count: 3.2k their summary: it was an act of desperation, to say the least, downloading the app lev recommended for him. but he was in dire need of a wedding date. so when kuroo opened up the brightly colored app titled rent a girlfriend, he knew he was in for an interesting evening.

-> my review: so uh 1) i remember writing a review for this and i have no idea where it went IM SO SORRY DSKJFJ and 2) i would do anything for kuroo to be my bf even if it was just my job 😩😩 and 3) um ??? YOURE SO TALENTED?? MISS MA’AM??

now arriving at... london, england!

-> breakup fic time </3 you can make it an angsty breakup, or a fluffy exes to lovers!

first stop... “i love(d) you”- @floralkawa

pairing: tsukishima x reader! genre: angst! warnings: none! word count: 300 their summary: one where tsukishima never showed his love. making it onesided, leading poor f/n on in a bitter relationship. of course, no one can handle it forever, can they ?

-> my review: this is the reason why i dont like angst. i felt this IN MY HEART, OKAY? NOELLE YOU LIED & SAID YOU COULDN’T WRITE FEELINGS. i hate it I HATE IT I HATE IT. but ugh youre talented enough to pull anything off and your angst is PROBABLY the only ones ill read willingly :(

next stop... “i should have seen the signs”- @kirishimas-manly-eyeliner

pairing: oikawa x reader! genre: angst! warnings: none! word count: 2k their summary: going to the city of love and london was supposed to be an exhilarating vacation after a long week of exams. as it seems, love is fake and so is toru oikawa.

-> my review: um. this kinda hurted me tho. how am i even allowed to be friends with you like ?? miss ma’am? YOURE SO TALENTED??? i hate angst and ill say it again: I HATE ANGST. IT HURTS IT HUUUURRTSS. OIKAWA MY BABY WOULD NEVER DO THAT BUT HE DID. I CANSTEALK I CANT DEAL WITH THIS

now arriving at... berlin, germany!

first stop... “Spring Chills”- @wesokkasimp

pairing: oikawa x reader! genre: fluff! warnings: none! word count: 447 their summary: you and Oikawa go for a walk on a chilly spring day. beware: banter ahead

-> my review: 😐😑😐 my heart wasn’t prepared for this. AND!! I BET Y/N LOOKED GREAT IN THAT TANK TOP; OIKAWA BETTER HAVE GIVEN HIS JACKET TO HER AFTERWARDS. jacket + tank top = cute outfit smh

next up... “warm and fuzzy”- @oikawaplssteponme

pairing: kuroo x reader! genre: fluff, a hint of angst, childhood friends to lovers, ‘boy next door’ warnings: one swear word, kuroo calls the reader ‘pretty’ however no gender pronouns are used, mini make out word count: 1.4k their summary: n/a but a quote: "The lights in your room were dim. Their golden-yellow tone shone above you, though you paid little attention to what was going on inside your room. You were much more interested in what was happening outside.”

-> my review: wait this actually reminds me of me and my front door neighbor GOODBYE AKLSJDF I MISS HIM :( ANYWAYS BAHHAHA- see you never miss 😐 i think awkward tetsu is underrated BYEALKSF THIS WAS SO CUTE I CANTASEKL

last stop... “ice cold”- @kyotarou

pairing: tsukishima x reader genre: fluff! warnings: bit of fanon tsukki, mutual pining, smidge of angst, fluff word count: 700+ their summary: n/a but a quote: “Asshole was the best word to describe Tsukishima Kei. He was an asshole to his peers, and it didn’t change towards you, his best friend.”

-> my review: mY TSUKISHIMA HEART OMG- okay OKAY I THOUGHT I GREW OUT OF MY LOVE FOR HIM BUT ITS ALL COMING BACK ASLKJFDL- oh to share a jacket and be vulnerable with tsukishima ✋😩 once again bestie youre so talented it isnt funny

now arriving at... bilbao, spain!

our only stop in this city... "break-in”- @kohi-zeri

pairing: iwazumi x reader! genre: fluff!! warnings: mentions of food and common illnesses, use of “darling” and “brat” word count: 1.4k their summary: n/a but a quote: “there’s something so… infuriating about having a migraine. especially when it’s uncalled for.”

-> my review: i cant express to you how much i love sickfics. like JLSDFLJKFSALJ SADFL I CANT- ALSO I READ THIS FOR THE FIRST TIME WHEN I HAD THE WORST HEADACHE SO WHENEVER MY HEAD HURTS I COME REREAD THIS BAHAHHA-

here’s what some of our passengers are saying...

one passenger says “Wait. Stand right there, I want to take a picture of you.”

“pretty petals, pretty pictures”- @shxyo-sho

pairing: iwazumi x reader! genre: fluff, mutual pining, just two best friends crushing on each other warnings: none! word count: 590 their summary: If you could describe your best friend, Kiyoko, in one word; what would it be? I would pick the word, flawless.

-> my review: repeat after me: kiyoko is a queen. and YOU DO HER JUSTICE I ASFDLKJ PLEASE- in all honesty i would be blushing if kiyoko said a word to me too- y/n you arent alone ✋😩

another passenger asks “Why aren’t you asleep?”

"night owl”- @atlabeth

pairing: sokka x reader! genre: fluff! warnings: stress over school and one (1) curse, but other than that it’s pure fluff word count: 907 their summary: If you could describe your best friend, Kiyoko, in one word; what would it be? I would pick the word, flawless.

-> my review: alright this isnt fair where is my irl sokka 😐 YOURE BRINGING ME BACK INTO MY ATLA DAYSDF LKSJA- not complaining tho I LOVE SOKKA SO MUCH. and “But for a “fairly smart person”, you made a lot of bad decisions.” THATS TOO RELATABLE STOP IT RIGHT NOW SFKDJK

HEHEHEHEH THANK YOU AGAIN!! SORRY THIS TOOK SO LONG GOOD BYE

#morosis's 400 followers bus ride #morosis recommends #haikyuu!!#haikyuu angst #haikyuu fluff #haikyuu x reader #atla x reader #haikyuu fanfiction #atla fanfiction #haikyuu x y/n #atla x y/n

45 notes · View notes

lesbian-ed · 7 years

Note

🌸Hi, a few years ago when I was 16 (19 now)I was forced out to my friends by this homophobic girl, and I came out as bi (still in the closet to my family), I'm no longer friends with any of them, but I can't figure out what label I should have, I really want to just know who I am. I said to them I was bi, but I've never felt right with that label. I read about comp het and it makes so much sense to me, but I still don't know. 1/5

🌸I feel, like, attracted to male celebs, but only when they’re in films or tv, and watching interviews of them ruins it?, and whenever I’m around guys I get these thoughts I can’t control about kissing them and sleeping with them and I feel rlly self conscious, I said this to a friend who said it’s a crush, but I get it with people I don’t like at all 2/?

🌸 And sometimes I have a phase where I feel like I could date a guy and marry him and have kids and be happy but it feels like I’m imagining a perfect version of me that actually im not like at all? And as well I can only imagine myself with a young guy, once I think about a 30 yr old or older I don’t want it anymore, but the perfect fantasy seems so appealing idk 3/?

🌸I feel different about girls but I don’t know I’m catholic and I feel like it’s always been other people are gay and that’s ok but not me? And I don’t know whether I feel no attraction to girls or I’m pushing it down bc when I see girls kiss on tv I literally have started crying and I saw a lesbian couple in public once and I got butterflies and also Ive found myself changing pronouns in songs in my head without realising but I’ve never had close to a crush on anyone especially not a girl 4/5

🌸Ive never even met a gay girl except for one pan girl at school but she was really weird and rude so I don’t know what it’s supposed to be like to like someone? writing this all down it makes it sound like I’m definitely a lesbian but that scares me so much bc ill never have a normal life and I can’t shake this feeling that actually I do want to be with a guy but I’m trying to be interesting or I’m faking this or something. Pls tell me your thoughts on this 5/5

Oh, anon. This literally all feels as if my younger self came into my ask box just now to ask for advice.

I understand your pain, I really do, I went through so many of the same thought processes you’re describing now. It’s good that you’re aware of compulsory heterosexuality, since I believe that will make sorting your feelings easier. Still, I recommend you look through our tag (if you haven’t already) to read more thoughts on this. It’ll help.

I obviously can’t tell you what your sexuality is for you, that’s your own journey to make, but this sounds so much like my own experience that I’m pretty sure what the answer is already.

Anon, let me tell you a story, I went to a catholic school and while my parents are pretty liberal and not that religious (in fact, my dad’s an atheist) I was also raised with the idea that ok, there were gay people out there, and I didn’t care what other people did with their lives! But honestly that was kind of weird and I couldn’t be like them, because they weren’t normal, like I should be. I was bullied a lot as a kid, because I was weird and ugly and way too shy and easy to pick on, so I grew up with this idea that whatever else happened, I had to stop being like that, I had to be beautiful and normal and acceptable. And that of course included a perfect fantasy of marrying the man of my dreams after he fell in love with men when I suddenly grew up to be the most beautiful woman there was, and having kids, and holding down a successful job that I was happy doing and having lots of money and well, just having the most perfect life. How could I not want that? Ever since I was old enough to walk, society fed me the idea that this was my ideal endgame, how could we ALL not dream about that at some point?

I used to be obsessed with those stories where the “ugly” girl suddenly turns beautiful and the Nice Perfect Popular Boy finally notices her and they get together, those stories were my dream life. As a kid and young teen I’d fantasize about them constantly, I’d make up characters that would always end up fulfilling those same tropes. It was the way to prove to all those who ever called me ugly or belittled me because I was nerdy that “see? I got the happy ending” so when I was twelve, and suddenly all the girls were having crushes on boys I felt nothing for, while I started noticing seemingly out of the blue just how incredibly beautiful so many girls my age and older were, I got veeery scared. I couldn’t like girls like that, I wasn’t like that, I was already weird and had no friends, so how could I ever hope to find a girl who liked girls who’d like me? And if I did, everyone already hated me, so how would I bear it? The stares and the insults and the danger we’d face if people saw us together on the street? So I pushed that attraction down as far as I could, I convinced myself I was actually just too inmature to start thinking about crushes and all that stuff, and obviously when I was mature enough and the time came, I’d like boys, because that’s what Normal Girls did right? And I had to be normal.

In my school’s equivalent of US’ eighth grade, a new boy came to our class, he was pretty, and friendly, and most importantly, blonde! and he was the school sports star! It felt like every movie-like fantasy I ever had come to life. Every girl was in love with him, so one time I had a dream where we were dating. I woke up being absolutely ecstatic, that must have meant I had a crush right? I liked a boy? I was definitely straight?

I never actually began feeling nervous around this boy, or looking at him any more than usual until I had this dream and decided that meant I was in love. I told a friend eventually because I was excited about being in love and the fantasy I had created for myself about our perfect relationship (which did involve us kissing and having sex, and I never actually felt turned on about it but I did imagine it a lot because it meant we were In Love, so those fantasies happen even if you don’t actually like like the person in question, dw!), and isn’t that what you do when you like someone? Gossip about it with your friends? She told some of my bullies and the dude found out, so he started laughing at me in the middle of the class and calling me ugly and saying he was traumatized at the mere idea of me liking him.

And I… felt nothing. I was angry of course, and sad, but it was just the same anger and sadness I felt when some random I didn’t like made fun of me, it wasn’t even like what I felt when former friends said nasty stuff about me. And I wanted to be heartbroken I wanted to wallow in the misery and the drama of it, but I just wasn’t, it was the same “well this shit sucks and I’m angry about it but it happens everyday so wyd?” There was no deeper feeling there, not even any special resentment, there was nothing. I never felt anything ever again when I looked at this boy.

Now, sometime later, the same boy starts dating a girl from our class, and it was around the same time that I was coming to terms with the fact that the latent attraction I had started to feel for women when I was younger had never actually gone away but rather had grown. Things were purely about sexual attraction for me at that point, not romantic feelings. I hadn’t actually been in love with a girl either by that point. Because even tho I was accepting my sexual attraction to women, I still had the idea in my mind that ideally I would end up with a boy, because when so much of my hopes for the future relied of me being beautiful and a man falling in love with me forever and ever so that I could have a normal future, letting go of that dream took a while. I called myself bisexual for a while, only to realize very little later that it didn’t actually fit me. When I did, it was hard, because I had to re-come out again to my mom and the two friends I had told, and that really scared me, because I felt like some fake, like what I felt was not actually real. I put it off, and my friends & mom were accepting but they also were like “you’re just confused about your sexuality!!/this is just a phase!!” so that fed into my insecurities. Even when I realized I was sexually into women only, I still hadn’t fallen in love with one, so that made things more confusing for me (I hadn’t fallen for any boy other than the one I mentioned earlier and one I met on a vacation that thought I liked for like a week because he had a pretty voice and was pretty androgynous lmao, but again, no heartbreak when he went away)

Eventually, (funnily enough through fandoms and f/f ships and fics that depicted them in loving relationships, And I cried when I read about girls kissing too, at first I thought it was because I was a Good Straight Ally, but I was just a lesbian lmao) I realized that I could also be happy in a relationship with a woman, that it was not only a possible future for me, but one that I wanted, one that felt right, one in which I wouldn’t be the beautiful, perfect, feminine, smart, succesful career woman I had dreamed of as a kid, but in which I’d be me, with all my quirks and faults, with another woman with her own quirks and faults who’d love me for who I am, because that was possible! It was possible to be happy like that!. When I realized this, that me liking girls romantically and sexually, and exclusively girls was okay, it felt like a veil was lifted from my eyes. Suddenly, all the feelings and attraction I had thought I had felt for boys paled in comparison to the intensity of what I felt for women, I learned what actual sexual desire was like, I yearned for a future with a real me in it with a real woman by my side, instead of the fake ideal I’d wanted to be when I was younger. It was around that time I fell in love for the first time.

Remember how I mentioned the boy I used to “like” got a girlfriend? Well, guess who I fell for? Me and her were assigned seats together one year in high school, and I got to know her through the first term, every time liking her more and more, until one day, she just walks into class, and I think she did something different with her hair? Whatever it was, seeing her felt like someone punching the breath out of me, it felt like watching literal perfection embodied. And I was gone, I was just so so sooo gone. I felt sparks when we sat next to each other, I couldn’t stop smiling like a fool whenever I looked at her, she’d say something nice to me and it felt like my soul was flying out of my body. And of course it was idealized, it was a crush on a girl I didn’t know that well, but the feelings I had, I had for her, for her actual personality, her actual sweetness, her actual kindness, even her actual rashness sometimes, not the fantasy I had made up of her that I projected onto her like I did when I “liked” her boyfriend. I liked her as a person. Plus the intensity of both crushes was just so fucking different. When I liked her, I cried when we were apart and at the thought of her with her dumbass idiot boyfriend, I listened to a love song and could relate to it for the first time. I understood finally why people would write poetry and songs and do all sorts of crazy things for this feeling.

Tldr: I also fantasized about the ideal boy and I was never able to allow myself to feel anything for a girl because of how much I had repressed my sexuality due to fear of backlash until I was able to recognize that yes, liking women was OK and then all my repressed feelings came pouring out like a tsunami.

If that sounds like something you can kind of relate to, then that’s your answer anon. However, it might not be, or maybe you don’t know if it is yet. That’s alright! Sexuality can be complicated and it can take a long time to figure it out. You’re not on a deadline here, you don’t have to stress about it.

As for the normal part, yeah being a lesbian in this society sucks a lot. And I still get terrified of the idea that I will not be “normal” and that I can never be happy. Even if I know deep in my heart that I can never be happy with a man, sometimes I wonder if it’d be worth it to spare me the pain. The answer? Hell no, I’ve got one life, one, what’s the point of wasting it on loveless unfulfilled relationships when I could try to go for someone I’ll actually be happy with? There’ll be pain, of course there will be, I live in a small town and I’ve only just started meeting other lesbians & bi girls offline this year because I’ve gone to university, and I’ve only ever actually started talking to and becoming actual friends with the ones I knew online this year too because I was so terrified before! All of them tell me about their hurt, and how lesbophobia affects them a lot, and yet I see them talking about how much they love their girlfriends/wives (I don’t have that because I’m an awkward potato but I’m trying) and also other lesbians, and it gives me hope, because I can be just like them, finding genuine happiness amidst the pain.

I hope this answer helps you.

Mod M :D

#anonymous #answered asks #advice #lesbophobia #positivity #lesbian positivity #mod m #original #mod m gets personal lmao #compulsory heterosexuality

22 notes · View notes

itsomgitsgreenblogging · 7 years

Text

Break My Heart: Chapter 3 (A Solangelo Fanfic)

I graduated, hurray! And because of that this chapter is late, forgive me! But things are being set in motion at this point of the end of Day 1 in the infirmary, officially. I hope you all enjoy what’s in store (and as always my advice is, reread that dream if you don’t quite remember it, all details are important)! Also, yes, I am very invested in bi!Will Solace, and as such, that does play some importance. Just a head’s up. And yes, remember, this is a slight canon divergent AU, so, things go a little differently in this fic then in canon. But just slightly.

Enjoy!

Previous Chapters on Tumblr: Chapter 1, Chapter 2

Read it all on AO3

Preview:

“Hi Will, how are you doing, it’s nice to see you too. Oh, thank you Clarisse for asking I really appreciate it,” Will said as he leaned against the desk with his arms crossed over his chest.

“Don’t be a bitch, Solace,” Clarisse told him with a roll of her eyes.

“And deny myself all this fun? How could I?” Will reminded her before sighing. “Yes, Clarisse, Ellis isn’t dying, and I haven’t killed him though he has tempted me constantly. Can I get you anything else with that order? Fries and a shake?”

“Is Ellis not dying?” Clarisse La Rue asked after she marched into the infirmary. She stood there, tapping her foot to the beat of her annoyance, which Will guessed was cranked up to a solid slow-burning fury (though it didn’t take much to get Clarisse to smoldering rage, maybe a paper cut, an ill-timed swing during a WWE event, or the weather being warm during training would also suffice as a fuse to ignite her temper).

“Hi Will, how are you doing, it’s nice to see you too. Oh, thank you Clarisse for asking I really appreciate it,” Will said as he leaned against the desk with his arms crossed over his chest.

“Don’t be a bitch, Solace,” Clarisse told him with a roll of her eyes.

“Haha funny, well if Ellis isn’t dying can he come back with me? I need Sherman to quit whining and get along with our Roman cousins, which, newsflash, is difficult when Sherman is whining.”

“Sherman’s whining?”

“In the way Sherman whines, which is breaking punching bags with his fists at five in the morning. I know this may fuck with your mind, but Ellis actually chills Sherman out. Right now I need optimal chill, like subzero. Me and Zhang are having issues containing our collective natural affinities to kick the shit out of each other, and contrary to popular belief though I appreciate the idea, I am not having a fight club being organized in my gods damned cabin.”

“Okay, you can come with me to go check Ellis. If and only if he is ready to leave will he be discharged, but tell Sherman to come visit Ellis is going stir-crazy too,” Will told Clarisse as he attempted to lead her back with him, but Clarisse being Clarisse marched on her own terms and Will just ended up following behind and hoping she didn’t see anyone she didn’t like.

“Oh thank the gods you’ve come to spring me,” Ellis groaned from his bed as soon as he saw Clarisse. “I thought I was going to murder Markowitz if I had to look at his face for another second.”

“That’s what they all say,” Cecil said with a dramatic groan from over in the corner, giving Will a smile. Ellis made a disgusted face.

“Yeah not so much if Solace doesn’t okay you, though I only wish you were so excited to see me when I try to get your ass out of bed in the morning for practice you lazy son of a cyclops,” Clarisse said, sounding pissed but Will knew there wasn’t any heat in it. They exchanged insults and complaints, which, in Ares-progeny talk was pleasantries, as Will inspected Ellis’ wounds and felt about his ribs for tenderness.

“Di Immortales Solace don’t push so hard!” Ellis hissed at him and Will raised a brow.

“Ellis, I know that’s you sweet talkin’ me, and I am tryin’ very hard to be gentle with you, but I would appreciate if you were quiet and let me do my work,” Will warned him firmly with a drawl for good measure, meeting his gaze. “I can do a little simultaneous healing and get you out of here now, or, I can refuse and move you into the bed next to Cecil. Your choice.”

“Okay, okay, shit,” Ellis groaned, allowing Will to pull up his shirt and press his hands against his sides. Where Ellis’ ribs had been fractured from a spear’s handle had mostly healed up, just leaving them bruised. Will hummed the melody of a hymn, feeling his power seep into the hurt and calm it, soothe it. Ellis released an unwilling hiss of relief as Will lessened the ache (Ellis had been too proud to accept the pain meds, dumb brave kid). Will pulled away and motioned to Clarisse, who handed him his flask of nectar which he took a swig from. Ellis sat up and moved, testing his range of motion, and Will found it to be satisfactory.

“Alright, he’s ready to go, just don’t get into any arguments,” Will told them and Ellis nearly jumped out of bed. Clarisse clamped a hand on Will’s shoulder.

“Thank you,” Clarisse said.

“Of course, anytime,” Will said honestly. “Shall I walk you—“

“Praetor!” Phoebe’s voice came like a squeak towards the front of the infirmary. Will, Clarisse, and Ellis hustled to the front, to find Phoebe and her healers standing stock still as the Roman Praetor Reyna stood tall and accompanied by Hazel Levesque who was carrying a rather stuffed duffle bag. Reyna’s brows flew up at the sight of them.

“Good afternoon, I did not know it was Grecian infirmary policy to allow patients to wander about without shoes,” Reyna noted, giving Ellis the once over. Ellis, bless his heart, did not flinch but instead puffed up like an insulted rooster.

“And I did not know it was policy for Romans to walk into a hospital fully armed,” Will reminded them sternly, pointing at the weapons cubby. “If you are here for visiting you will utilize the proper procedures as well as turn down the intimidating factor, it would be much appreciated kay thanks.”

“Forgiveness, you must be…?” Reyna offered.

“Will Solace, I’m the head counsellor for Cabin Seven, and head healer at Camp Half Blood,” Will introduced, holding out his hand. Reyna grasped it in greeting, her grip strong and sure. “Clarisse, please, make sure Ellis doesn’t get into any fist fights on the way back to your cabin. I’ll see you later.”

Leaving Will to his own devices with the Romans seemed to be the last thing that Clarisse wanted to do. Say what you would about Clarisse, and Will had certainly said it before, but the girl was loyal to those she thought deserved loyalty. They had worked out a few rough patches over their years as counsellors together on that alone. Clarisse also knew when to let other people fight their own battles, so Clarisse clapped him on the back hard (which may have translated to either, consider Apollo and Ares allies in the next Capture the Flag or don’t die before I have to kill you loser, Will couldn’t really tell) before exiting the infirmary with a glaring Ellis still half-unclothed in tow.

“I’ve come to see how our soldiers are recovering in order to create a—“

“We’ve come to see Nico,” Hazel clarified with a sheepish grin. Reyna cleared her throat, cheeks slightly reddened as if she had been caught sneaking cookies out of a cookie jar.

“Yes, that too. We heard that Nico had checked in, thankfully. We’d been both telling him to get checked out since the battle,” Reyna said, offering Hazel a chiding look that was given mostly in amusement. The other girl made a show of straightening up for dramatic effect.

“I’ll take you back to see him then,” Will said, motioning for them to drop off their weapons (which they both did with varying levels of comfort). As he walked them back, Cecil gave him a look and a smoothing motion that read something akin too: holy shit bro watch what you say or else you might get a foot of Imperial Gold shoved up your ass by two badass ladies who I’d like to be friends with if you catch my drift. Will responded by flipping the bird.

“Interesting bedside manner,” Reyna observed.

“It comes with the job,” Will told her as he stopped flipping Cecil the bird, trying not to be intimated. “Also that’s my best friend so…”

“Do you normally do that with your best friends,” Hazel asked, looking charmingly embarrassed.

“You do when your best friend’s a piece of trash,” Will said neutrally with a shrug. “But he’s my piece of trash. I must remind him of that sometimes.”

They made their way back to the mostly empty section of the infirmary where Nico was currently presiding. Nico was still mostly in the position that Will had left him in, though with the added addition of the IV and the blanket. Hazel immediately rushed to his side, and worried over him.

“What’s wrong—“

“I’m being held against my will,” Nico said with a sigh. There was something gentle in his expression, something akin to a smile on his mouth. Hazel took a breath of relief before smiling back at him.

“What’s the diagnosis?” Reyna asked Will, hanging back, all business.

“Infection, exhaustion, and general power malfunction. But the IV fluids and rest should help with most of it,” Will told her encouragingly. “How are you feeling, Nico?”

“Cold,” Nico said shortly, with a shiver for emphasis. He was looking heartbreakingly small, thin, tired, and pale against his sheets. Will made a mental note to get him another blanket. If anything, Nico di Angelo looked stretched thin, as if another inch would press him out of existence or a breeze might sweep him away.

“The fluids will do that, let me take a look,” Will said as he held out his hand. Nico, stuck his free hand out to let Will clasp it again. Improvement, small improvement, but improvement nonetheless Will noted. Of course it was only a few hours, but it was enough to let an optimistic smile show through, mostly for Hazel’s sake who was looking seriously worried about her brother. “Better. Incrementally better but that means we’re on the right track.”

“Great,” Nico said with heavy sarcasm, as he looked away quickly and he nearly threw down Will’s hand. Hazel gave her brother a strange look.

Weird, Will thought. This guy is supposed to like me? How? I don’t even know what I did but I think he hates my guts.

“What Nico means to say is thank you,” Reyna seemingly reminded/warned him, Nico only responded by slumping further into the bed like an angry child. It was oddly endearing, which was very concerning.

Will needed to watch himself, maybe get a crush on another equally emotionally unavailable person who he hadn’t had a prophetic dream about so he could at least trick himself that they wouldn’t break his heart. Like on someone like Reyna for example, she was certainly gorgeous, also could kick his ass, and was also very unattainable. Will could totally have a crush on her and get his heart broken because she would probably never even consider him because as some of the Venus campers who had stopped to gossip in the infirmary had reported, Reyna had been making bedroom eyes at both Jason and Percy Jackson for a while now. And as everyone who had seen him in sword-practice would tell her, Will Solace was no Jason Grace or Percy Jackson, so that translated to having no chance. Will understood what unrequited longing and undeserved heartbreak was like, and if Will hadn’t been so attached to the idea of his head being attached to his body, Will would’ve given her a pat on the back in a sign of comradery.

“We came to let you know that most of the legion are out of the infirmary. Phoebe let us know that in the next day or so the rest of them will be released and we’ll be heading back to Camp Jupiter—“

“And also to visit you,” Hazel reminded Reyna again with a laugh.

“Yes, we also wanted to see how you were. Are you going to be coming back with us?” Reyna asked curiously, her head tipped to the side and causing her dark braid to fall off her shoulder.

“As much as I would like to say yes…I don’t really foresee a lot of black togas in my future,” Nico noted with a sigh. “Even though they were a striking fashion statement.”

“It was also nice to see you out of your ratty clothes and looking professional,” Hazel teased and her brother gave her a well-worn look of exasperation.

“Excuse you, I’ll always take comfortable over fashionable.”

“And godliness over cleanliness?” Hazel said with a roll of her golden eyes.

“Okay, listen, it wasn’t my choice to show up in that shirt it was all I could find—Solace, stop cackling!”

“Sorry, sorry,” Will said as he tried to clear his throat. He hadn’t even realized he had been laughing until Nico had pointed it out. Reyna gave Will a curious look, before returning her attention to Nico. Which confused Will again. Had his laughter been so weird?

“Don’t worry, I brought a present,” Hazel said as she showed her bag that she had brought into the infirmary. Hazel pulled out a few shirts, varying shades of black and grey as a demonstration from the bulging bag. “I asked some people to donate. Only white and grey scale colors, maybe one navy, but I know your aesthetic.”

“You shouldn’t have,” Nico said, his gaze was almost unreadable but there was something vulnerable in his eyes—which were oddly colorless. “Hazel, you really shouldn’t have—“

“Oh hush,” Hazel told him as she reached out to brush his hair from his forehead. “Nonsense. It was nothing.”

“We thought it would be only appropriate considering the circumstances,” Reyna said as she took the seat on the other side of him.

They continued to chat with Nico and Will kept to the background, minding his own business as he changed out bedsheets. He checked on the quickly emptying infirmary and all the recovering inhabitants (including Cecil, who he warned off from any unfortunate romantic misadventures). Phoebe was still half-panicking in the front, and Will gave her a look and a job to complete to keep her mind off the fact that two of the highest ranked and regarded warriors of their generation were in the same building as her.

“I don’t understand why you are freaking out,” Will asked Phoebe who took a deep breath after they finished cutting portions of ambrosia.

“I don’t expect you to understand, but it’s like the CEO of a fortune 500 company coming to a side branch,” Wren, one of Phoebe’s half-sisters scoffed.

“Listen, she’s like our age. She seems pretty normal to me. Like, it’s great you respect her, but there isn’t a point in getting one’s panties twisted up about it,” Will pointed out to her. “You don’t see me getting bent over backwards over seeing Annabeth Chase or something.”

“Easy for you to say. You are basically the equivalent of a Centurion here,” Phoebe pointed out. “You are allotted a certain amount of respect automatically, you are on the same playing field as the great heroes.”

“Centurion?” Will asked curiously.

“We have our Cohorts. Each Cohort is run by a Centurion, so, you are basically the Centurion of your cabin,” Phoebe explained before sighing. “Not that you wouldn’t be considered in the running at Camp Jupiter for a legitimate Centurion position if you came to New Rome with us.”

“Wait, what does that mean—“

“Will Solace?” Reyna’s voice called as she and Hazel appeared. Phoebe and Wren stood up rod straight until Reyna dismissed them with a tired wave. Will stood up a bit more slowly. “I’ve heard from some of the other Legionnaires that you performed emergency healings and saved many of them, even without hymns or assistance.”

“Yes, though I prefer not to. It’s tiring,” Will said with a shrug. Reyna blinked, seemingly filing away that knowledge for later.

“Well, I just wanted to officially extend an invitation to New Rome, and know that our resources are yours. Phoebe has written glowing reviews in her report, and seeing the infirmary itself shows me that you are a great leader,” Reyna explained before giving a softer smile. “And I can already tell that Nico has improved. So, as a friend, I must thank you. Keep Nico as long as necessary, and if necessary please call me. I can always talk some sense into him.”

“I think I can handle myself, it’s all in a day’s work. If you ever find yourself or anyone you know injured on the East Coast, just holler,” Will said as he reached over to give her a handshake. As soon as Reyna had finished, Hazel Levesque nearly bounced over to hug him. Will couldn’t help his smile as he accepted it.

“Thank you so much, and don’t let Nico bully you!” Hazel said firmly, as if she believed her brother had every intention of being troublesome.

“I’ll survive. But if you could do me a favor? Make sure Frank knows that Clarisse is having a hard time reigning in her cabinmates, and there has apparently been talk of a fight club,” Will told her.

“What’s a fight club?” Hazel asked, her eyebrows furrowed worriedly.

“Not on my watch will there be. I’ll take care of it,” Reyna said as she cleared her throat. “Thank you again.”

And so Reyna and Hazel both left the infirmary, leaving a much relieved cohort of Roman healers behind them. Will, as always, organized the dinner in the infirmary to be assured that all demigods had their nutritional needs met, and making sure to swipe two platters before going down the hall once more. Nico was laying back dozing again, understandably exhausted.

“Dinner’s served,” Will told him, and Nico opened one eye and looked at Will with all the enthusiasm that he probably would have mustered if Will had just told him that he had hired a mariachi band and a clown for Nico’s super sweet sixteen.

“I’m not really hungry,” Nico told him with a sigh, and to be fair, the kid looked pretty drained. Will settled the plate on the bedside table.

“Good news is, I just got you a sandwich and some potato salad. It won’t go cold or anything, so eat it at your own pace,” Will promised him and Nico seemed relatively relieved that Will wouldn’t be force feeding him, as if he had been in that situation before, which made his heart break a little bit. “Would you mind if I checked you out?”

“Alright,” Nico said, offering his hand which Will took. Will couldn’t help but notice that Nico’s entire arm twitched as if he had just been shocked with static.

“Sorry, is that uncomfortable?” Will asked him worriedly, attempting to reign in the desire to try to rub some heat into Nico’s frigid fingers. Will had a feeling that Nico might bite him involuntarily if he tried something like that.

“You are hot,” Nico muttered, before immediately gaping like a fish, eyes wide with panic as the flashed around the room looking for an exit. “I mean—I mean—“

“I do like to think I run hot. Son of the Sun God and all,” Will could help but joke with a laugh.

“Don’t let your head get full of hot air. You might burst,” Nico grumbled, embarrassed but looking relieved. Will was still grinning as he let his power wash through him once more. The shadows were still lurking there, but nothing too concerning. His body was already fighting off the infection that had taken hold of his cuts, and the resting was helping out. But there was a lingering heaviness that still had to be addressed, something that Will knew was more mental then physical, though as Will had often discovered the two bled into each other.

“Progress already,” Will reported, very pleased. “Now we have to keep it going that way.”

“I hope so, I’ll die of boredom if I’m stuck here longer then necessary,” Nico groaned.

“If you would like, I could send a message to some of your friends so they can come visit you. Hazel and Reyna aren’t the only ones who would like to see you I’m sure,” Will pointed out to him, and Nico’s expression was suddenly guarded and tight.

“They know where I am,” Nico said with an odd amount of frustration. “Why should I tell them to come visit? If they want to see me they’ll come.”

“Hey Nico, let me let you in on something,” Will said as he sat down beside his bed, while still trying to give Nico space. “And I don’t want you to take this as me being condescending or something because it’s not. But people don’t know what you are thinking or feeling unless you say something, that goes for everyone. Sometimes you have to say something to be seen the way you actually are. If you leave people to guess, then you can be misconstrued.”

“That’s stupid,” Nico argued but the defense seemed weak, and Nico frowned. Will couldn’t help but give him a small nod.

“Yeah, it is. Also, you won’t be seen as weak or something because you want your friends to visit. Gods know I’ve had a very similar conversation with Kayla before,” Will explained with a fond chuckle. “And I was the same too. I cried when Michael didn’t visit me when I got a concussion. I found out after that because he accidentally gave me a concussion on the lava wall, and he thought I wouldn’t want to see him and I was mad at him. When Lee came in and saw me blubbering, Lee dragged Michael in to the infirmary with a vengeance. It was all a misunderstanding, you know? But communication was key in resolving it.”

Will couldn’t help but let out a laugh at the story, remembering how much a mess all three of them had been. That was the thing with Apollo kids, they were all dramatic in their own ways and they couldn’t help making a scene sometimes. It had all been rather silly, but the fond memory made his cheeks hurt from his smile. Nico watched him with something like fascination, as if trying to physically absorb his advice so he could use it another day.

“Your brothers, right?” Nico asked with a strange look in his eyes, as if he was focusing on something at a far distance through Will. The intensity of the gaze made Will feel like heat was crawling up his neck and he was forced to look away. Not good. Not good. Holy Hera that expression was cool in an awesome comic book superhero kind of way, like Nico was some gunslinger off to seek retribution for ill-deeds. “Both were heroes, and judged to be honorable enough to find a place in the Elysian Fields.”

“Yeah…I know,” Will said as he shook free his errant feelings, a bittersweet feeling welling up in his chest. “Thanks.”

“Well…I…” Nico said awkwardly, the strange authority slipping away to reveal the boy his age underneath who seemed anxious to turn the topic away. “Could you pull out some of the clothes in the bag? I want to see what Hazel gave me.”

“Sure, of course,” Will said as he fumbled for the bag, reaching in and feeling a smooth, cool texture.

Will pulled out a leather jacket. A leather jacket he recognized, as suddenly for a moment he was taken back to that dock, to that lake, to that moment of rejection. His breath caught in his lungs at the intensity of the déjà vu.

“Oh cool,” Nico said as he snatched the jacket from Will’s numb fingers and admired the black leather with more interest then Will had seen from him this whole time. “I needed a new jacket since mine got all ripped up.”

Oh gods this isn’t good this is happening this is a thing that’s happening, was Will’s first thought. The second being: I’m screwed.

#Solangelo #Solangelo fanfiction #Will Solace #Nico di Angelo #reyna avila ramirez arellano #Hazel Levesque #clarisse la rue

55 notes · View notes

fluffi · 3 years

Note

so should i reply in tiny font or just regular font?

hybe should do better in spreading out the comebacks of the groups under them :/ they're already at a huge advantage, might as well use it strategically. AHA streaming mvs is so convenient for a multi. the filler vids i could use in between could be mvs from the other groups that i stan. also you know what, i still haven't watched a single final performance bc im waiting for a friend to watch with me :D

i have a chinese movie recommendation in case you want something to cry over. i still love its ost and it's been months since i watched it. i'm not sure if you watched it already but more than blue. i've never cried over a movie as much as i cried for that one. the angst *chef's kiss*. i'd do anything to wipe my memory of it and watch it again for the first time.

also sungchan is mc-ing in inkigayo every sunday! and honestly, what the hell is nct hollywood :D but a part of me thinks it's just going to be a bunch of asians living in america like johnny that'll be a part of it. just a hunch tho. imagine having all 4 units coming back in a year with like 1 unit per quarter of the year. i'm not sure if sm even has the money to do this, especially when they filed bankruptcy recently.

and i've seen a lot of twitter memes saying taro's ghosted stans T_T alexa play ghosting by txt T_T sm come on give him smth to do, you're wasting talent.

the mall didn't burn down entirely (like from the outside it looked fine). the ventilation system caught fire so it was more internal—ceilings and all that. covered things with soot(?) and ashes so the entire mall was closed for nearly 2 years. and hey, i've experienced a school fire too back when i was younger. i, too, thought it was nothing but a fire drill until i saw the charred remains of the buildings behind our school : D thankfully, no one died.

the new nct track is for a samsung commercial AHAHA it's funny because nearly everyone uses apple TT_TT and the mv screams neo culture tech tho (well as it should lmao). yes, i was talking about that part in hot sauce but yes, it grew on me too.

ateez really know how to do a performance. they put the standard so high for me when it came to performing. their facial expressions and overall stage presence just impresses me. it's been a while since i've seen idols draw me to them by those standards.

ah, the long stan list! good luck in getting through it and i hope you do have fun as you go :] (also you can check out aurora by ateez and whiplash by tbz. the songs popped up in my head as i was typing this reply, you might like them)

ohhhh, what was the pd48 scandal? i don't watch survival shows so i don't know any of the stuff going on. would you care to elaborate? about their disbandment :(( i hope you're okay now tho! are the other girls still debuting in new groups? anyone eyeing an acting career instead of being an idol?

YES, A PATTERN IN THE BIASES (if you count an analysis of two ppl as a pattern, that is.) because it's the same pattern i have for my biaswreckers :D jake & seungmin, not only do they have the same animal to represent them, they have the same 'golden retriever' type of personality that just makes you go all soft. ygwim ;n; i wish i could elaborate but both boys just devastate me in the same level and my friends pointed out that they were quite similar in some aspects.

jaemin used to send really long bbl messages :< like if there was anything he loved most it was nctzens and it was obv in his messages. speaking of dream, album repackage news today! idk what to feel bc my hot sauce albums haven't even arrived yet :D + i'm dead br0ke.

how do you even manage to read 30k TT__TT i cant handle long fics bc of my attention span :D also, yes, i found the user now, i'll check if i'll like their works soon. <33

YES YOU SHOULDVE BEEN THERE T_T what a day that was. i think seungmin is still sweet and active in bbl. not a single cent goes to waste with him. also i think i'll post the drabble some time this month.

and oml seungmin vs jake :o let's see how that goes O.O XDD

clickity-clackity AHAH do you have a mechanical keyboard? :c i wanted one too but i haven't got around to saving up for one. but yes indeed, typing asmr v relaxing \m/

sunny hyuck day, fullsun sunday, fullsunday T_T feels were very strong that day. i kept seeing edits on my twt tl and i would just s o b : D i've only stanned nct for a year but i've seen him grow so much i just wanted to crie i love him sm :') yk my mom didn't cook spaghetti for my birthday, but she cooked for hyuck's? : D

and i checked ur recs blog and indeed, full of nct T_T

also have i mentioned that your desktop thing amuses me so much HAHAH i got confused for a sec if i had twt opened or tumblr. plus, i've been wanting to mention that i noticed that our mobile themes are opposites. black and red, white and blue. it's cute XDD <3

help, people have been telling me that our asks are long but i highkey love it. i added a ‘keep reading’ for the mobile users though, sorry in advance hh.

honestly, both works. tiny font saves space but regular font does more justice for my poor eyes haha. its your call!

hybe comebacks :( yeah enhypen got lucky because they came back right before cb season so they got three wins (yay)! on the bright side, txt just got their first win and bts has six wins, so it all works out i guess. omg yes, the streaming thing is perfect. i stan like 20 groups so i have a never-ending cycle of filler mvs and its always so helpful. ooh for the final performances - you wont regret watching any of them! literally wild, kingdom's budget and talent are wild.

ooh, I don't watch any cdramas lmao. i want to but i can barely finish kdramas. if its a movie ill watch it! ive never heard of more than blue but ill check it out <3 where can i watch it?

yes yes i have just realized that sungchan is yujin's co-mc! i watched their special stage (which is literally adorable) and was today years old when i realized that the dude is sungchan pls. nct hollywood was so unexpected and i still have mixed feelings about it now. LMAO JUST ASIANS LIVING IN AMERICA...help. that would be interesting (?) but the concept reminds me of those horrendous awesomeness tv shows. lets hope sm pulls this off well and proves me wrong. lmao all 4 units coming back would probably happen, but i hope none of them get overworked :( i constantly feel like mork lee has four clones :'( also...sm filed bankcruptcy??? dang, what happened?

ugh omg yeah shotaros talent is seriously being wasted in the basement right now. as for fires, scary T-T i wasnt that fazed by them until the australia wildfires happened, and i learned about the consequences of fire and got really scared. its good that the entire mall didnt burn down though! although its weird that no one is opening it :( schools really need to tell us the difference between drills though, it might be dangerous for those rebellious kids.

yeah i just realized that the nct track is an endorsement which partly explains why i cant listen to it. the mv's visuals are stunning!! the set and people are so gorgeous aa i cant

oh yeah im not an atiny but i have acknowledged since 2020 that they have one of the best, if not the best stage presence and expressions on stage for 4th gen. i think their only worthy competitor would be stray kids actually. theyre truly one of a kind and all of them are cute especially that yeosang guy. i will definitely check out your song recommendations though!

oof the pd48 scandal is extremely complicated. to condense it in a few statements: all of the girls' rankings have been rigged since the very beginning and it was rumored that they already had their end group before the show even started. it was like this for pf48 and pdx101 (group x1) which was why x1 disbanded within a month of debuting, and izone were on hiatus for like 4 months. im not the best at explaining stuff like this haha, but i think you get it. you can check out yt or search up 'pd48 scandal', a ton of articles and videos. as for new groups, nothing has been made clear yet. theyve only made instagram handles for now and appeared on variety shows haha. as for acting career, hyewon was supposed to do acting but was forced to join pd48 so maybe she'll continue acting afterwards? nothing is confirmed yet!

lmao two similarities, its okay it counts. ah, true, i can see their similarities now that youve mentioned it, as well as how jeno is kind of like that. however, i am currently attached to jaemin so we'll see what happens from there hehe. i swerve easily.

jaemin on bubble grr, that would be a whole experience. from the bare minimum of vidoes ive seen for him wbk jaemin is so whipped for czennies. ah yes repackage! i saw the post on instagram and went to the comments to see everything screaming ‘iM bROke!’ and it was lowkey hilarious lmao. kpop is really trying to suck our money T-T.

ope the longest fic ive read is like...40k words i think? and it was by jeonginks. ill read anything eiko produces lmao, theres always so much substance in her work. ooh, tell me what you think of luvdsc’s stuff, i just finished binging their entire masterlist lmao.

seungmin vs jake yeah, i havent been catching up on skz enha content because im still obsessing over the dreamies but when that saga is over then im going to focus on my ults lmao (which might include dream soon, hehe).

yes yes i have a mechanical bluetooth keyboard that i use to connect to my computer! it literally sounds amazing lmao, its only 10am here but i feel like im going to doze off from the clickity clackitys already. i cant wait for you to get one! tell me when you do, we can match hehe.

hyuck is an aodrable brat please. hes like the best comedian of nct at this point, so hilarious and filled with variety i love him. he rose up my bias list pretty fast too. LMAO YOUR MOM IS SO COOL I LOVE HER ALREADY. if only my mom would cook for my ults’ borndays.

yes my rec blog is a mess right now, ill organize it soon haha.

omg thank you and yes my website theme is one-of-a-kind. even i get confused when i open it or edit it, and i constantly get comments about it. also i just realized our opposing theme colors and i love it! its adorable.

#long post #also im listening to love song right now haha i love it so much #also sorry for not answering yesterday hhh i got busy last night #「 asks 」#moots — [♡] ;#toffee — [♡] ;#neo-shitty

2 notes · View notes