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gabyun · 4 months

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hii if you’re taking requests maybe a roller rink date with enhypen? (but like each member individually) and readers really good at skating😸

yes this is such a cute idea !! i actually just went rollerskating a few days ago so i think its funny how my first request is abt this, (btw tysm for requesting hehe) and i shall try my best to deliever.

⋆ ˚｡⋆ ୨୧ how i imagine roller rink dates would go w enhypen

a/n : i hope it doesnt seem too repetitive, ive never even attempted an ot7 so i hope it came out well! (also sorry jungwons is so long wtf)

𐙚 - l.heeseung

roller skating is one of your favourite activities, but heeseung has always been a bit avoidant about it. you’ve mentioned it to him numerous times, but he always brushes it off saying he has been before but you honestly have started to doubt it as hes declined the idea, offering up something else. heeseung is always the kind of guy who likes to ‘show off’ toward you and he always wants to seem cool. so, after a really long time of asking over and over again, he finally agrees. you both arrive to the rink, and pay the money and ask for your shoe sizes. the employee hands you the roller skates, and you sit down and begin tying them up. you look over at him, extremely excited to skate with him after ages. you notice a very worried aura on him, and you ask "are you sure you’ve been roller skating before?" his head turns to you. "uhm, well-" "heeseung its okay if you havent, i can always teach you" he sighs and nods. "im sorry i made you think i know how to skate". you tell him that its okay and you think itll be a fun idea to teach him. you guys get on the rink, and your holding him up and keeping him steady. once you guys start going, (slowly, obviously) you go infront of him holding both of his hands while he steadies himself. he genuinely looks like a baby deer. you giggle, thinking that hes the cutest thing ever. (you guys obviously get icecream after to celebrate hees big accomplishment)

𐙚 - p.jay

its a late afternoon and you guys are laying on the couch together. "hey, y/n?" jay begins. "mm? whats up?" you look over at him. he turns his phone towards you, showing you a new roller skating arena that had opened the previous week. "do you wanna go tonight? theyre open until 11." you grab his arm excitedly. "do i wanna go!?! do i wanna go?!? hell yes i do, you should know its one of my favourite things!" you shoot up from your laying position, looking at him like a puppy. "yeah, thats why i asked babe." he says with a smile. you guys get ready and leave for the roller date. jay has gone roller skating before, but hes not the absolute greatest. he has wiped out a few times, falling straight on his butt. you guys arrive and put your shoes into these little cubbies and change into your roller skates. you get up, going back and forth infront of the seats whilst waiting for jay to finish up tying the laces. you notice hes done, and he gets up, slightly wobbly. you grab onto his hand leading him onto the rink. he regains his 'roller skating abilities' and you guys do laps around while holding hands.

𐙚 - s.jaeyun

jake has known about the fact that you enjoy roller skating, but you haven't talked much about it. so, one day he asked if you wanted to go roller skating for a date and you naturally complied. you were in his car, on the way to the roller rink. "im amazing at skating y/n." he brags. "oh really? im excited to see you skate then." you giggle. a couple more minutes pass and you arrive. the place is pretty huge. you guys are putting your skates on simultaneously and you’re ready to go. he stands in front of you, prepared to hold you up and guide you, but to his surprise you get up perfectly fine. so, you guys hold hands whilst leaving the roller skates exchange area thing, and get onto the real rink. "woah, y/n. you’re better then i thought you’d be." "yeah?" you replied, but you had a slight challenging tone in your voice. you let go of his hand, going in front of him and skating backwards, and doing a bunch of cool tricks. you were also much faster then him. "y/n?!?! why’d you never tell me you could skate so good." he said, extremely impressed but also disappointed. "i wanted to impress you, and plus i never really had the chance to show you my awesome skills." you make your way back beside him. "i get it, but i want you to tell me everything about you!" he perked his head up whilst saying that. "yes jake, of course." you pecked him on his cheek.

𐙚 - p.sunghoon

you’re quite aware that sunghoon has been competitively ice skating, so you wondered if he would be just as good at roller blading as you would be. you two arrived at the rink, putting the skates on. sunghoon and you whizzed around the roller rink, laughter bubbling between you both. you teased, "watch out, sunghoon! i might lap you!" sunghoon grinned, playfully stumbling, "you're just showing off now." you grabbed his hands, guiding him through twists and turns. "come on, ex-figure skater, keep up!" sunghoon chuckled, "i'm more of a blades guy, but i'll try my best." you guys raced, and eventually, sunghoon spun you into a dazzling twirl. breathless, you guys exchanged a look, and sunghoon teased, "not bad for a ‘starter’, huh?" you both sat down, worn out. "well, y/n. our next date is definitely gonna be ice skating. now i need to show off to you." you giggled, "whatever you say hoon."

𐙚 - k.sunoo

you and sunoo loved going on little dates or hangouts. you guys would much rather be out doing something, rather then laying in bed (which you guys still loved doing.) so, you guys ended up at the relatively new roller rink place. you payed the employee and they handed you the roller skates. as you and him entered, sunoo looked a bit unsure in his skates. you, the experienced skater, reassured him, "just follow my lead, sunoo!" you guys navigated the rink, sunoo clinging to your hand for stability. "i feel like a baby giraffe on wheels," he admitted, earning a giggle. you grinned, "you'll get the hang of it!" after a few wobbly rounds, sunoo found his rhythm, and soon, you guys were twirling and laughing together. sunoo pulled off a clumsy spin, and Y/N cheered, "see! look how good you’ve become!" afterwards, you guys went to the local diner and had your favourite drinks. it became a memory you and him always looked back on.

𐙚 - y.jungwon

you were sitting at home, bored out of your mind. you heard the consistent buzzing of your phone from beside you, and you grabbed it. it said that "wonnie💗" is calling, so you immediately picked up. "hii won!" you said. "hi y/nnie, do you wanna go out tonight?" "yeah of course i do, i love hanging out with you." "okay okay, ill be there soon." he hung up, and you excitedly got up to begin getting ready. you were curious as to where you guys were going. you arrived to the place, and it had bright neon lights saying "roller skating arena" and your eyes immediately lit up. "I thought it would be fun!" jungwon smiled at you, eyes crinkling. you both entered, and put on the skates and some other equipment. as you both circled the rink, jungwon's skating skills proved a bit unsteady, but his enthusiasm was infectious. you, the experienced skater, couldn't help but tease, "you've got that 'deer on ice' vibe, jungwon." he chuckled, "yeah, well, it's a work in progress." your guys laughter echoed as you glided side by side, the rhythmic hum of wheels beneath you creating a soundtrack to your guys joy. you decided to show off a few spins, gracefully twirling around. jungwon's eyes widened, "okay, that's impressive. teach me your secrets!" he whined. as you tried to guide him through a spin, jungwon's legs wobbled, and he almost took a tumble. your quick reflexes kicked in, and you steadied him with a grin, "you should be glad i was beside you" you joke. he blushed and smiled his dimples peaking through, "maybe i need more practice." but practice didn't matter in that moment as you guys continued, sharing laughter, playful banter, and the genuine joy of navigating the twists and turns of a roller rink and a budding romance together.

𐙚 - n.riki

you and niki were at an amusement park and had gone on a bunch of different rides. you clung onto his arm whilst you guys walked around the rest of the park. you guys turned a different way, into a section of the park you both were unfamiliar with. a decently large place with the words "roller skating" on it was right infront of you guys. you and niki, in sync turned to look directly at each other, slowly smiling. so, before you knew it you were both helping each other put knee pads on. niki had a little bit of experience, but he wasnt entirely amazing at it. so, you guys were giggling looking at each other, slowly gaining balance and making your way toward the rink. you spun around him in a circle, showing off your skills "y/n what the hell thats so cool?! i wanna try!!" so, he begins trying to spin in little circles and its going well and you’re cheering him on, until he completely lost balance toppling over you. you both are groaning in pain, but look at each other for a few seconds and begin uncontrollable laughing. it was a cute moment you guys shared. your ass really hurt afterwards though so you guys took a quick break before continuing.

#gabyun #enhypen #enhypen niki #enhypen jake #enhypen heeseung #enhypen jay #enhypen sunoo #enhypen jungwon #enhypen sunghoon #enhypen fluff #enhypen oneshots #roller skating #enhypen rollerskating #enhypen cute #enha fluff #enha

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hotchs-big-hands · 8 months

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au where mostly everything is the same except arranged marriages are normalized and you can pretend like haley and jack dont exist if you want also aaron is lowkey a perv but nothing here is noncon. this was longer than i meant it to be and i still wanna write more im just too lazy to type it out rn 🤪

okayokaySO um idk why yall are getting married uuh hotch wants a wife because he misses coming home to a partner and you just couldnt be assed to find a man so yall get married i guess. youre a lot more hesitant of the whole thing than he is because he is actively seeking out partnership and youre just going along with it because you dont believe in true love or some shit. so during the initial courting/engagement period aaron is trying sooo hard to show you hell be a good husband to you but you're resisting believing him bc many men make promises and fail to deliver on them when the time comes so youre takin it with a big grain of salt.

but once you guys marry and leave for youre honeymoon youre ungodly anxious bc you havent been like alone alone with him before and now youre gonna be spending 2 weeks in another country with him. your mom insisted on packing your clothes for you because "you never know how to dress for the occasion" (like wow what the fuck mom) so when you guys finally get to your resort at like 2 am the only thing you want is sleep but when you open your suitcase all your sleep clothes are fucking lingerie and lacy slips and tiny nighties and you curse your mother into oblivion. so youre like 🧍🏻‍♀️accepting defeat and choosing the least slutty thing in your suitcase to wear and when aaron sees you wearing a thin lace trimmed silk little slip dress that stops barely below your ass he is like 👀‼️ looking very disrespectfully. and when you scamper into bed red in the face he is already plotting how to get that slip off you and on the floor. and slides in bed next to you grinning as he shuts off the lamp.

hes carefully reaching across the bed and gently grabbing your arm, pulling you closer to him and when you whine in protest he hushes you and says "cmon honey youre my wife now. at least one cuddle for consummation?" and you grumble because like yeah fine i can get down with a cuddle. so you scoot your back up against his chest and let him wrap his arms around you, one hand pressed right up underneath your breasts and the other spread wide over your lower belly. and you lay like that for a few minutes until aaron slowly rubs your belly and breathes softly in your ear before hes pressing up tighter against you, not so subtly rubbing his hardening cock right through the gap between your ass cheeks. and he lets his hand rub down lower until he's grabbing the hem of your slip and tugging it upwards. without warning hes shoving his hand into your (very tiny) thong and rubbing at your clit.

and when you gasp and your hands shoots to grab his wrist hes shushing you gently in the ear and whispering "no honey dont worry. not gonna hurt ya. just wanna feel you pretty girl. thats what you are you know? youre my pretty girl. my pretty girl. my wife. mine to hold, mine to touch, mine to fuck, mine to love. be good and lay there like a good girl and take it yeah? promise youll feel good." and then hes slipping two fingers into your needy heat. and pumping them in and out of you slowly, curving his fingers to press right up into that one delicious spot. and when you gasp and try to squirm away his other arm latches around you pulling back flush against his form so he can keep grinding harshly into you.

it doesnt take long at all for you to come on his fingers, your orgasm seemingly taking you by surprise because you gasp so loudly and grip so tightly at his arm around you. and before you can finish coming down hes got his boxer briefs pushed down, your hips pulled back and his the thick heavy head of his cock prodding at your entrance. your head still fuzzy you stutter at him to let you catch your breath at least but he just attaches his mouth to a pulse point on your throat and pushes in, bullying his cock into your tight little hole with short but firm thrusts. he isnt even bottomed out and youve already started whimpering for more like a cockdrunk slut.

OHMYGODDDDDD THIS IS SO 🫣🫣🫣🫣🫣🫣🫣😵‍💫😵‍💫😵‍💫😵‍💫😵‍💫😵‍💫😵‍💫 YAWL GOTTA DO A SERIES ON THIS I SWEAR THIS IS SO HOT GURLIE HHHHHH

#💌 ah asks #nsfw.#cutie kenzie

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avatarkurukdefender · 5 days

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Adhd is still adhding so lets talk about A Literal Team Avatar instead of writing it :3

Aang is NOT gonna have a good time. In fact to quote Sans he's in for a BAD TIME

So you know in the Yangchen books how her past lives would frequently possess her body at the absolute WORST TIMES for example, the past life that had really really really bad claustrophobia possessing her when she was in a tight claustrophobic space and making her freak out? Yeah that. You know how none of the avatars after Yangchen never seemed to deal with this? Well I headcanon that the reason why was because Yangchen actively BLOCKED the previous incarnations for pulling that same awful shit with every avatar after her.

So what do you think is gonna happen when Yangchen has been removed from the avatar cycle (and teenified) and is no longer to keep the others from fighting over Aang like a chew toy?

Lets see how badly this can fuck with the poor twelve year old boy

(aka a bunch of random headcanons I came up with for the avatars we only have names and even a few of the nameless ones)

Szeto first of all had BAD sleep paralysis. Like almost every night, hallucination fo something just standing over him (or in some cases full on trying to strangle him) and he cant move or even speak levels of bad. Also had severe hemophobia (fear of blood) and would literally faint at the sight of blood (hehehehe)

Next is Salai who had severe thalassophobia (fear of the ocean/ fear of deep bodies of water) like he would get full on panic attacks every single time he had to cross the ocean. Even worse since I headcanon that he drowned in a a severe storm while sailing on the ocean. And considering the fact that the gaang presumably spends a few weeks on a BOAT on the OCEAN to get from the Northern Water Tribe to General Fong's base...yeah thats gonna be a really bad time for Aang.

Avatar Gun, aka the one that possessed Yangchen to go on a rant about how humanity is selfish and uncaring, how they expect you to pull of a hundred miracles and then get mad you didnt do a hundred and one, yeah...they're gonna be a fun one (also they are nonbinary now because they were never said to be male or female and the wiki used they them pronouns for them so bite me) aside from...that they also absolutely HATED crowds, like avoided them at all costs unless absolutely necessary, otherwise would be sweating and shaking the entire time until they could leave. (Which means Omashu, Ba Sing Se, literally any crowded town or city is gonna be absolute HELL for our favorite little airbender)

Ok now for the ones without names (I have two of those so far)

This armless firebender who someone on tiktok named Avatar Kazza (I dont remember who named her that though)

Oh boy :3

So you know how General Fong pulled Katara under the ground to trigger the avatar state in Aang? Well the same thing happened to her partner. Only difference is that her partner wasn't pulled back out. Oh no. Her partner was pulled underground and CRUSHED to death. (When Kaaza bent them back out, there was nothing but blood, broken pulverized bones and completely crushed organs...) Yeah its gonna be a lot bloodier than in canon (None of General Fong's soldiers will die Im not gonna traumatize Aang THAT badly, but they will be maimed very badly.)

Next is this pretty avatar

I think someone on tiktok named her Avatar Imiq but dont quote me on that

She's the avatar that was absolutely terrified of the Spirit World, to the point that it caused Yangchen's sister Jetsun to get kidnapped by spirits when they went there (because you know the spirits get hostile when you're afraid and guess who decided to pop in at the worst moment?) Luckily this one isnt going to cause too much trouble since I dont think Aang actually goes to the spirit in books two and three unless you count Wan Shi Tong's Library (though Aang is not gonna have a good time when Avatar Imiq starts freaking out because of Wan Shi Tong) but I havent rewatched the show in awhile so I could be wrong

Also you know the avatar that had claustrophobia? That was Wan. With the exception of his tree house Wan absolutely hated small tight spaces. And that is something he was going to make everyone's problem (just like how every avatar inherited Wan's iconic crooked avatar smile, every avatar also inherited some claustrophobia, some worse than others. Unfortunately thats now gonna be Aang's problem)

I just keep coming up with these and thinking "What would suck/be the most inconvenient for Aang to have in this moment" and then assigning that to one of the past lives

(Also here's something funny, you know the air nomad avatar behind Kuruk? They actually used him TWICE in the TLOK image of all the past lives. He's also the second one behind Szeto on the left side)

#avatar the last airbender #hehehehehehehe #Yamgchen is gonna give Aang so many hugs when they eventually meet #because she knows how absolutely miserable and stressful the past lives can be #especially when you dont know hoe to cope

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yippeecahier · 11 months

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AITA for insisting on my husband moving his stuff?

This is the kind of thing I'd put on Reddit but with all thats going on, I'm sticking to Tumblr. So I (25 NB) got married to my husband (25 M) on June 24th this year and havent even been married a whole month. We'd talked about boundaries and communication and have had multiple sessions with a premarital and now marital counselor since we got engaged in March. Before that, we dated for 2 years and have known each other and been friends off and on since the 6th grade.

When it comes to boundaries, we have two that are pretty much unshakeable: I need consistent 8 hours of uninterrupted sleep in the dark (with either white noise or relative silence) and going to bed before midnight, and my husband needs alone time to play games for a few hours a day where no one will walk in (he has scopophobia from childhood trauma where his parents and siblings would barge in and even remove the door and fistfight him so now he interprets pairs of eyes as threats and wont use the university library for this reason; I wish I was joking, but I'm not, and my MIL confirmed this is true because she had my husband as an unstable teen and did, in fact, fist fight him in her 20s). I always thought these were both reasonable boundaries and could be worked with given compromise, but this is somehow more contentious than I thought.

I'm currently living in his 1 bed, 1 bath apartment. I was living out of my suitcase up to and a week after our wedding until our counselor told him he had to make space for me; much to his chagrin, I invited my mom over to help me because I was so overwhelmed by all the boxes from wedding gifts and overwhelmed from the wedding (which is why we didn't leave on a honeymoon right away). Our counselor, and now my parents (who are medical professionals), and two of our friends, say he needs to move his computer out of the bedroom.

I have autism, IBS, and a history of mental illnesses. He will lock the door to the bedroom that contains the only bathroom for hours at a time and take a long time to respond to texts. I will not be able to sleep in the bedroom or use the toilet for long periods of time. I'm exhausted and overwhelming from having to walk to the local stores to use the bathroom, and none of them are 24 hours so after 11pm I'm exhausted and having a really bad time. I live in the downtown area of a big city with him, so I cannot simply find a bush to pee/poo in. On one very humiliating occasion I used an empty food container to eliminate, and threw my waste in the trash because he wouldn't respond to his phone or unlock the door despite my panicked banging.

The stress of it, and being deprived of sleep past 1am every night only to be woken up by our neighbors at 9am is making my IBS worse and has triggered multiple meltdowns and psych episodes the likes of which I haven't seen for >2 years (including trying to walk to the train tracks to kms to escape the hell my brain was putting me through because I wasnt giving it the sleep it needs).

On one particularly bad incident, I was tired and took a nap in the morning after having a meltdown over seeing a dead cockroach in the kitchen during breakfast when my husband set multiple blaring alarms at 5am because he is a deep sleeper even though we went to bed at 2am (I did blow the situation out of proportion, but I was also sleep deprived and actively psychotic as a result). When my husband came back, he came in guns blazing and pulled me out of bed demanding to see the roaches, and expressed frustration that I went back to bed when I was freaking out about the roach over the phone some 15 minutes prior. We got in an argument about if we need to put in a request for pest control, and at one point, I yelled, "FINE, YOU’RE RIGHT AND I'M WRONG," and put my hands on his throat because I got triggered into an episode. I was shaking and asked to leave the conversation multiple times before it got to that point, but he wouldn't let me leave the kitchen - and pulled me back by my arm - until I'd heard a piece of his mind; that combined with waking up suddenly in the middle of my nap to an angry spouse after another successive night of sleep deprivation caused me to become violent whereas I'd never been violent to others in any episode before.

I regret it and apologized fervently and am trying everything I can to prevent that from happening again. I am not a typically violent person, and previous psychotic episodes only resulted in self-harm, not putting my hands on others. However, him not getting with the program I need to stay sane isn't helping. I started screaming and hitting myself during this last meltdown today over coming to a locked bathroom/bedroom door for the 3rd time after being out of the house for him to play games for 6 hours despite having another stress induced IBS episode, and immediately got back in my car to drive to my parent's house without any of my stuff.

I was deprived of sleep for the 3rd night in a row because I'm doing all the housework so he can have his games alone. His gaming computer is in the bedroom, which is locked, and he refuses to listen to requests to move the computer out of the bedroom or unlock the door because of his scopophobia. I can technically sleep on the futon, but I cannot brush my teeth or go to the bathroom because the bathroom is in the bedroom, and sleeping on the futon is interrupted because he refuses to sleep alone and will come out of the bedroom, wake me, and take me to bed with him at 3am.

Yesterday he got crabby because he "didn't get a break," and I told him I felt "hurt because it sounds to me like [he was] not grateful for the two hours I spent cleaning the apartment and dishes" the latter of which is his job, "to give [him] 2 hours to play games," to which he responded that he needs "at least 4 hours," "with the door closed and locked," and "complete silence," and my housework is "too noisy." This does not make sense to me because he cannot hear his phone notifications when I call or text to use the bathroom, and he is playing music. Moreover, knowing that the vacuum cleaner sets us both off, my parents gifted me a Roomba for cleaning that is much quieter, but he won't help to set it up.

He keeps suggesting compromises with my mom, our friends, and our marital counselor. None of them have worked, and none of them he has kept up.

1) My mom offered to buy him an L-shaped desk for him when she comes over next, but now he refuses to have her come over and doesn't want to spend money on an L-shaped desk. He also wants to use the L-shaped desk for everything BUT the tower.

2) We bought an IKEA desk for $10 at Goodwill and got cables for him to move his keyboard, screen, and mouse out of the room, but he refuses to move the tower (which has RGB that won't turn off while he's using it) out of the bedroom. Then, the door will not completely close because of all the cables running through it and I hear his music, games, and keyboard. His reason for not moving the tower? His dad (my FIL) cut the ethernet cable to the exact length for it to be in the bedroom and my husband wants to be able to lock the door to the bedroom and bathroom during the day (which he can stay there and play games all day, but don't lock the door to the only bathroom, I have literal IBS that will NOT wait. I already soiled a pair of shorts.)

3. My friend stayed with us for a bit while in transitory housing, which is how he justified locking the door (to masturbate without being walked in on). But even after our friend showed him how to turn on notifications from favorite contacts when he puts his phone on Do Not Disturb, he still silences his phone and locks the door.

4. We negotiated together with the marital counselor a possible compromise where I "own" the bedroom for 12 hours at night and he "owns" the bedroom for 12 hours during the day so that he can play games during the day at noon instead of at, say, 2am. He suggested implementing this the week after our wedding. It didn't happen, I brought it up with the counselor. He says it's because he's "on vacation" but we'll implement come July. It's a week into July and it still hasn't happened. I told him I need a functioning sleep schedule for my job two weeks BEFORE I start or I'll have a psych episode at work and get fired, and he agreed, and I still came home to a locked bedroom/bathroom door TODAY.

5) We talked about getting a two bedroom condo that's a walking distance from his university. His assets plus my salary (I'm the breadwinner right now while he's in college but he was in the military and has $40k in savings and $50k in stocks), and we qualify for up to $400k on our mortgage. He refuses to close on the 2 bedroom/2 bathroom condo I requested that's a 5 minute walk from his classes because it's "too expensive" at $375k, and he insists on a 2 bedroom/1 bathroom place for $315k that's a 15 minute walk from his campus. Even though I told him my IBS requires I have access to a bathroom at all times, he still will spend over an hour on the toilet watching YouTube even if he's not "sequestering" to play games. I won't hear a peep from him about sharing a bathroom to save $60k unless he changes his behavior. This also is the driving force behind why I want to try to move into a two bedroom condo ASAP, even though our lease ends in mid-November. He refuses because he doesn't want to pay rent for the apartment while we have a mortgage OR sublease/AirBnB it OR break the lease. I have argued with support from our realtor, mortgage broker, and my parents, that now is the time to find and close on a home because it's a several months long process, especially since we're using VA loans.

Moreover, his ass has the audacity to repeatedly twist my arm about having a baby. When we first got married, I said, "Sure, we can have kids; but first I have to find a way to be mentally stable without medications for a year straight while living with you before I can carry a viable pregnancy. I've been stable and unmedicated before, but that stability requires consistent sleep, a regular and highly regimented schedule, and consistent vigorous exercise to work." We're nowhere near that, (I fucking put my hands on him during an episode and even my OBGYN said given my medical history its not a question of if I'll get postpartum depression but when,) and he keeps asking me to schedule an appointment to change my birth control to something other than an IUD.

I'm an adult, I can leave my husband alone for 4 hours in complete silence with some effort and some frustration, but A BABY fucking won't, because it can't. It needs your attention every 2 hours to eat or poop or what have you. His kid cannot find something else to do like I can to leave him in silence most of the day unless they're in school (by age 5 and only during the schoolyear) or can drive (by age 16), but definitely not all night at any point between their birth and them moving out (given current economic trends, this wont be economically feasible until our kid is 30). Plus, the kid would occupy our 2nd bedroom in the condo and then I'd have to figure out how to get sleep in my husband's room and (share a bathroom if we go with his insisitence on a 1 bathroom cheaper condo) despite my IBS with TWO human beings, when sharing with one is hard enough.

We agreed to getting me a service animal from a program in Canada I'd been on the waiting list for since 2019, and the animal is available for me to take home this summer. I am going to Canada by myself because my husband doesn't have a passport, but we're meeting in New York to drive home together in a rental car with the animal. My parents understandably think this is an additional stressor since now I'm taking care of not only me and my husband, but also an animal. But I need something to step in and perform tasks to mitigate/alert to psych episodes.

Today he hugged me and told me he loved me and was so glad he "married [me]" because I "enhance [his] life every moment," but it feels like lip service when he won't move the computer or implement any of the possible solutions we came up with above. I wish I could say the same. I feel like my life is actually worse since I moved in. I'm contemplating quitting the new job, going back to my old one, and living with my parents until he can get his shit together enough that I can actually sleep and use the bathroom like a normal person.

I can't live with him like this, or one of us will get very badly hurt. I start work in two weeks, and need to be at work by 7am every day, so I cannot be stable enoigh to keep a job if I'm having psych episodes because I'm going to bed after midnight whenever he's feeling kind enough to remember me and unlock the bedroom door. I need two weeks to reset my sleep schedule. He says he understands after I scared him when I put my hands on him, and after each and every sleep-deprivation induced meltdown, but I feel like he really doesn't because none of his behavior has changed.

You are welcome to reblog to give an in-depth response if it doesn't fit in replies or DM me if you want it to be private. I'm desperate for help. He's not a bad guy. Everyone says that it's very apparent he loves me. He's my best friend, and I love him, but my health, sanity, and, in turn, our marriage are at stake if this doesn't get solved and soon.

#vent #advice #actually psychotic #actually audhd #actually autistic #actually adhd #relationships #marriage

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marunalu · 2 years

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Okay so I realized I havent postet dfo stuff for a while and I decided I need to change that. Actually I wanted to post this for a while now, but I have been a little busy and unmotivated recently. So here it comes. People who follow me or read my dfo posts know that I believe that the reason why afo/hisashi left "overseas" is because of all might. Because all might startet to become to much of an problem by actively trying to find afo and that put his little family in danger too. And while I still think this could be part of the reason why he left, for a few weeks now I think there was actually a different reason.

Now I think afo didnt leave because of all might and to protect his family (it still can play into that too), but because, knowing what afos goals and dreams are, his feelings for his family startet to affect him and hinder him in archieving his goals. Okay hear me out. Lets say for a moment the inko shimura theory is true (it also works if its not) then afos interest in inko makes perfectly sense. He most likely wanted to use her against all might but after a while.... things startet to become more complicated. Because afo startet to care or even like her romantically. If we go by the whole "40 year old maccalan" thing being a code word for inko, while the "16 year old maccalan" was confirmed to be a code word for izuku, its actually a big hint that afo has romantic feelings for inko, because @psychomurderz found out by checking the raws that afo speaks in a very soft and affectionate way about whoever that 40 year old maccalan is. Not his voice (because of course we cant hear his voice), but THE WAY he speaks. And only inko really fits the bill to be meant here, because who else should the aoyamas bring to him who fits the age and wouldnt be able to fight against afo? So if its really inko (and its most likely her) afo feels AT LEAST affection for her. Its also important to note that he asked for the "40 year old maccalan" FIRST and only after the aoyamas told him they can bring an 16 year old maccalan to him (= izuku) he agreed to it.

Well back to the point now, I think afo originally wanted to use inko against all might (if inko shimura is true) or play a little bit around with her and crush her little heart like he loves to do with people. But... things startet to change between them and all of a sudden he was a married man and just some time later there was a baby. This.... wasnt how things were supposed to go. But the real problem was that afo startet to ENJOY this. He startet to like to have a family again, to have a place to come back to and he could call "home". To be loved and missed when he wasnt there. Similar how it was once between him and his brother before everything went to hell.

I think its possible that at first afo was telling himself that this kind of life is just for a short while. A nice little break from all the villain stuff and that its not that serious, but more and more his growing love for izuku and inko startet to affect him and he startet to lose interest in his main goals, because his family was more important to him. And because the idiot he is, he told himself that he cant let that happen, because he needs to fullfill his life goals to make a "better world" and THAT was the reason he left. Not really to protect his family but because his love for them turned him more and more into "hisashi" and he LIKED it! And that isnt allowed to happen. BUT the thing is, despite leaving them, he is not able to forget them or stop loving them, so he still provides for them, still sends enough money for them to have a comfortable life so that inko doesnt need a job and can concentrate solely on izuku. So that both of them have at least each other.

There is also something very interesting going on here:

Some people already pointed it out (even non dfo fans) but something here smells fishy. When afo says "thats all I ever wished for" it looks like as if he is "far away". As if he remembers something and his words are more to HIMSELF. As if he is reminding HIMSELF about "what he ever wished for."

He is telling himself "you want to obstruct the future of this world" (whatever that means) and NOT "you want to be hisashi midoriya and you want to go home to your family and you absolutely dont want to fight against your own son!"

So to come to an conclusion: afo didnt leave to protect his family from the heroes and to prevent all might to find out about them, but because afo wants to be the demon lord and his love for his family prevents him from archiving that! He is in conflict because he wants BOTH but is telling himself he only wants the demon lord part. Similar how darth vader wanted padme/luke but at the same time also wanted the dark side and rule over the galaxy. And at the very end he had to make the decision what he wanted more.

#bnha #bnha dad for one #dad for one theory #all for one #all for one is hisashi midoriya

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masterporky · 6 months

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im gonna go on some sort of rant that may be deleted later. i guess it could be considered a vague post but ive cut off anyone who im "vagueing" or whatever. its kinda my explanation why i havent been here much recently. its not very cohesive or anything its kinda just my pissed off rambling. its really long or whatever.

ive been treated very poorly by people in the rpc. it was mostly in a discord server made by someone i had trusted. i trusted them because they were older and more experienced than me. and they seemed nice

i guess its my fault for being a kid on the internet in spaces primarily dominated by adults

but also. those same adults were kids on the internet just like me when they started out. so i dont understand how they cant show an ounce of sympathy or come up to bat for me when i very obviously need it

i dont care if you hate children, i dont care one bit. it was an all ages server. pro tip: if you dont want to be around children in online spaces dont be in all ages spaces!

even if it was only me and about 3(?) other minors out of like 10 active people. i dont care.

im mostly angry at myself for joining a server out of blind trust for someone i thought i was friends with. i know it wasnt very smart of me to join a server where i knew most of the people would be adults

but i still cant understand why they all began to fucking hate me. they acted like i was aggressive and unapproachable because that was the type of character i played. they vagueposted about me and acted like i was some sort of villain.

they made groupchats where it was me and 2-3 other people (usually mods) and practically ganged up on me whenever they didnt like the way i spoke or the way i played my character. and then one of those people who said they had been "bullied" by me joined back afterwards because yippee!!! i was gone!!! so now they could shittalk me some more.

"bullied" was me wanting them to properly communicate with me when they didnt like something i said or wrote. which when they did do that it was while in those groupchats. "bullied" was just them not liking the way i talked.

this person did so much other than just fucking that. they borderline fetishized black women & played what i can only fucking call a shittily concealed mammy stereotype. they roleplayed as a pedophile around child characters and REAL CHILDREN (me) which yes when they were askrd to stop fucking using their pedophile character they did. and they told me i frustrated them because they didnt understand me. there is a very high chance that i am neurodivergent. i dont care if you're neurodivergent too, thats borderline ableism. and their partner threatened to harass me once i left. what a great fucking thing to do.

oh and after i left, along with another person they put their "triggers" as "pokey minch" and "earthbound" which is just fucking spitting in the face of anyone with real fucking triggers. i did not traumatize you. grow the fuck up.

one of the weirdest things that happened was that someone who had joined had been making me uncomfortable beforehand (i have since forgiven said person) and no one else knew them. so they completely ignored when i was uncomfortable. but then. they had their character say "kill yourself" to one of the mod's characters and suddenly they got immidiately banned after. hm.

dont get me started on the mods. the mods who i thought were my friends, but excused everyone elses far worse behavior while condemning what i had done. which was seemingly nothing. and the owner of the server did absolutely nothing but let them do this.

i think the worst thing i did was, in a panic when i started feeling like a horrible person, send an apology to the owner a week later i dont feel bad anymore. i dont feel bad because i know that i didnt deserve whatever the fuck they were doing to me in there. i feel bad that i basically lied about being sorry. i guess it wasnt lying because i did feel very sorry and guilty at the time but it wasnt right to send what was basically a false apology to them and i wish i didnt because its embarassing and also wrong.

and the worst thing my friend who i invited did who they also hated (he's also like. a minor) did was send a very mean message to one of the people who had gotten mad at me for a seemingly very small reason and sent mods after me for it. which. i appreciate him being the only one fighting on my behalf. but i dunno.

that person was one of the people who made pokey minch their trigger. and had also made some insane fucking comment once about being "neutral on gay and trans people. some are nice" thats called being a bigot you fucking walnut. you cant be neutral on that sort of thing. and they criticized their coworker for being "racist" when their coworker just said that they hated white people and then got fired for it

the person i had the most problems with had spread what seemed to be false rumors about someone else in the rpc as soon as they entered so im not very certain im going to be safe from any sort of thing like that.

these people were 21-32. i am 14.

and not to sound like im giving you my sob story but its just that. do they just not remember being a kid? do they not realize how genuinely worse being in school has gotten? late generation z kids, especially in a school thats like mine where theres no minorities and everyone hates anyone whos different is actually hell. the people who hate me for being edgy or coming off as mean would fucking drop dead if they stepped foot in my godforsaken fucking school. on top of being bullied relentlessly in school, i now have to fear that i'll be basically bullied in the spaces that i thought that id be safe in. and by none other than people who should know better and thay i thought would have known better because they're well past highschool.

im tired of being treated like im an easy target for harassment everywhere i go. i almost quit roleplaying on tumblr altogether after that because it was such a stressful experience as well as the entire server being made up by mostly people i was mutuals with and have since blocked

ok um i guess my point is just that well. if youre going to have your blog or your discord server be an all ages space maybe dont try and chase out children immidiately because you dont like them because theyre children. you were an edgy teenager who acted stupid too so you should try to have an ounce of compassion for edgy teenagers who act stupid.

oh and also if you cant separate fiction from reality then block me. straight up.

also like. idk if any of you are worried youre following any of these people. i aint gonna like list them down since this isnt supposed to be a callout post but if you like really wanna know for some reason you can like dm me. like as long as u dont harass anyone or anything idgaf

anyways heres some shitty memes i made off it cause like you gotta do something to like not entirely die after some bullshit like that

#POLLYANNA (ooc)

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climaxbattles · 5 months

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vent dont read (unless the curiousity consumes you i guess. if you know me personally it might suck)

i havent been able to leave the house since may and it seems like every day i get worse and worse

i just cant deal with anything i dont know why

i dont go outside, i cant be alone, i cant even eat too fast/slow or i just like completely freak out

i started therapy and this is the first time ive ever been hopeful about interacting with a therapist but i still kind of dread it every week. im not even sure its helping like maybe shorter sessions would be better but i use so much energy just getting through the day i cant communicate until its too late

i dont even understand what made this happen my only guess is that one of the medications i tried really messed me up (or i have a brain tumor or thyroid problem or something) because a few of them had really really terrible side effects and i almost had to go back to the hospital for the 3rd time in a year, but i dont get why im not getting better when i dont do anything and im not on those meds anymore.

and if it is physical i cant leave the house without panicking like. i dont know how else i would go anywhere to get it checked out unless it got so bad i had to call an ambulance again so they could lie me down and give me oxygen and turn all the lights off and hold my hand again but that also was like very traumatic so im afraid i would just completely break

my friend is over visiting and i havent seen her in forever bc she moved 4 hours away and i cant even bring myself to hang out with her because she brought her boyfriend and i already have problems talking to anyone but her even though i fucking live with her family and leech off them. so im just hiding in my room

i dont really talk to anyone much anymore and i dont even know if its Because i want to be left alone or if its something making me lonely/im upset about. it also kind of seems like people r moving on from me but that could be like entirely self inflicted bc one on one conversation terrified me even before and now i like have panic attacks if a breathe wrong let alone attempt something thats always scared me

i think like some of them maybe also have a seperate discord server i wasnt invited to. this happened literally months ago where i accidentally found out and its not really my business i guess. and i dont even rly know if its true or even used anymore

it just feels bad because i lost a friend of like 7 years and a friend i really related to but didnt know long because i took their side in multiple arguments and i dont regret the 2nd one but the first one kind of still sucks. the people i lost had a lot of their own problems that made them unpleasant but idk. the first person was kind of always open to talking to me even though we r both fucked up and wouldnt ignore me even when i sometimes would bc of my own problems

and then if there Is a second server thats kind of why the second person lost their shit. so its like Maybe they were right in a small way (they were completely fucked though they would like suicidebait randomly and ive never had any other friend do that so its still for the best i think)

it seems like i keep losing or pushing away good friends kind of. or maybe im bad at all friends idk. ive never enjoyed socializing so it seems like my fault probably

i honestly just wish i could get on food stamps and/or disability on top of medicaid but i think people are still insisting i can go back to the way i was before. idk if thats possible. i just want to be able to stop taking As much Directly from other people and maybe like. buy legos or a 3d printer or something. i dont have much to do in the house 24/7 and my computer is getting old. and i think the internet is making this all worse but thats like my only activity

im so tired

#sorry if u know me and think this might be about you #not trying to like vaguepost abt them though i just dont even know if its worth bringing up. and i cant even rly communicate #i forget if my irl friend has a tumblr #its not your fault i feel like this though if anyone does read this #i just feel like i keep saying the same things in vents to friends and i want to stop bothering tgem

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spikeinthepunch · 11 months

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i have no plans to talk about the Emotional side of this, but the many weeks i have spent with a neuropsych trying to pin down the specifics of my cognitive issues has certainly been interesting, and im gonna detail that below. its made me really realize that alongside my issues, that there is so little understanding in society about the extent of "learning disabilities". even everyone here, every person who sits with the ADHD and autism labels and knows its probably part of their learning issues- the fact that there is probably so much more to it than you can even realize. and most people wont ever have the knowledge of depth to see that, or the proof of tests to see that.

i deeply wish getting this kind of testing but its insanely expensive. like, way WAY expensive. and its super important to get a good doctor for this (any Californians, i would gladly name the guy i am seeing!) but its not accessible at all (this series of tests take like, 6+ weeks but more for me bc i am more than just Learning tests. i am on week 10), which is obviously the main problem. hardly anyone i know will be able to get with kind of depth on Why they struggle. i am in a very privileged position to get to do this. its not bad to sit with labels like ADHD, or just know about your diagnosis of Autism (your Autism wont go away with this. you still have it. you'll just see the specifics, the stems to your problems) is what makes you struggle. this isnt a means to shame people or to say you have to do this in order to get better or get help.

but for me and i assume others, i havent been able to get the right accommodations for anything. society will never try to understand anyone cognitive abilities further and they NEED to make this shit more availble. I tried many things but none of them worked for me, but i also dont know WHY they dont work for me. putting aside the emotional struggles i am also doing in these tests (there is Cognitive testing and Emotional testing- which also makes things more pricey), i have been really really wanting to learn. just Things. it is all i want but I cannot, and the future feels impossible due to that. I try so hard to learn but nothing happens. i want to code, i want to 3D model, i was to up my drawing game, etc etc- even if i went for my assumed "easy" choice (simply production in entertainment) i still struggle to keep it in my head. it always feel like laziness, to sit down at try and then it doesnt stick, and that just makes you feel worse. Still i'd go and learn 3D modelling consistently for a week, but quite literally the moment i looked away from the donut tutorial, i couldnt do it. genuinely everything was lost from my brain. id redo it, i would do the donut tutorial again, but then thats all i could do.

learning with coding is no different, but i try to try very hard because i feel like i know it all "in theory", i look at stuff and i kinda can see what it all means. but right now as i try to learn Narrat, i am very actively seeing how the results of these tests are spelling out the problem. i sit down and look at documents but i cannot take in the reading material, but i see images and i get it kind of so i try- i look at someone else's game for some help but i dont totally know it. but i ask for help in the discord a LOT because i cannot process the documents they hand me, i cannot peice together what the documents say in order to solve the error i got, and only kind of get it when i connect an image of the code to what im doing, but there arent many pictures of what i need step by step and i get stuck again.

so many little things-- things that i cant really add up to just being ADHD- at the very least no one knows how to accommodate to my specifics anyways so i never get it solved. the autism may explain some things but it doesnt explain it all. I can't count change even on my fingers, i cant add things up on paper and i forgot how to multiply and divide. i forget things when theyre not in front of me, nothing i read stays in my head, nor does anything i listen to. i may work fast, i may process movement and things presented surprisingly well, but those four things (math, memory, listening comp, reading comp) are key things to learning that are SO awful it explains every reason i have been this way. i take it in quick, but it goes away in the blink of an eye.

i dont have ADHD by the way- it was one of those labels slapped on for years because "well your memory is bad, and so is your attention, and you have a hard time learning". and i dont disagree exactly, if i hadnt done this i would have been going along w my life with that label and it would have been fine- aside from the fact none of the ADHD meds i have taken over the years have never work, of course. or the fact i still wouldnt really know how to learn things because i dont have accommodations that actually help me make progress. i think i would still be sitting around stuck, thinking i am just stupid and there is no way around it.

point is- there is a lot under the surface. there are a collection of things that explain parts of your cognitive function and they all work on their own. and because i know this now, i can get very specific help. i can properly understand why certain accommodations in the past didnt work, what will work, and what i can do to actually try and Learn Shit. going through years of utterly sucking at everything in school is awful, it really knocks you down. Especially when you want to learn, you feel like you are trying so hard.

for more recent years i have sat here just thinking i couldnt do anything. watching family make progress as they age and feeling unable to do that too feels like shit and i hate the idea of never being able to put anything out there. i am in a place where i can live just fine without any job really, but i dont want to do that? i dont want to do nothing- even if it weren't a job, why would i want to sit around doing the one think i know- draw- and never be able to do anything else? id like it as a job but even outside of that i just want to know things like anyone else.

the fact that i feel far more hopeful than ever before is really a nice feeling. for a while it was a kind of motivation that was more like fighting a brick wall to proceed because even though i wanted something to change, i had no idea how it could. this isnt a clear "ok go do A and B and youll learn!". this will still be a long time of build. it will be a process as it would be for anything with learning and i still get overwhelmed by the prospect too, its still terrifying because i still wonder if it will really work out. but goddamn i do not feel like these many weeks of testing have been a waste- i really do understand far more than ever. its kind of sad to see, to have gone for so long without help, but id rather know it now than to never know and to always feel helpless and stupid.

#good god long post in coming

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vexingsmoke · 9 months

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this is mostly just me rambling - because its something that ive been processing sort of slowly - and i havent been around much to talk or write down any of my thoughts - plus its been heightened recently - especially since we recently started taking our adhd meds with more regularity - but the realization of being a subsystem - and veer fronting a lot - has affected me a lot - for multiple reasons -

one of the reasons is whenever we - the smoke subsystem - have been in front - its usually been veer instead of me - and obviously its not tyr fault - but it still kind of sucks - even before the weird system thing that meant nobody could really front properly for like a week - i essentially only got to front if we were having an episode that i get queried by - and when im having one of those episodes - its incredibly difficult for me to have the energy or thought to reach out or talk to anyone - which means i havent really gotten to talk to basically the only person i care about for more than a minute or two - and thats only when i get queried for a moment - i could basically only be in front for longer if i was very actively handling symptoms - or if i was barely in front - like im just doing my doodles - and thats the only thing im doing - and someone else is the rest of front - and its really hard for me and veer to both be in front at the same time - which means that i just dont get to front much - and when i do - im usually in the back of front - and cant really do anything - like as far as i can tell - by memory and by checking message counts - i have sent 3 messages since ty was discovered - aka in the past over a month - in the 3 ish weeks before that - i had sent around 200 messages - which is a lot seeing as i currently have about 650 registered - and the person with the highest in our system is a little over 3000 -

and the other reason - and again this isnt really something veer can control - but it fronting so much - has kind of ruined our ability to eat properly - especially me - i like eating food - i usually enjoy it - and have a wider tolerance than most others insys - but veer basically cant eat or even smell most food without gagging - and sometimes ty will gag so much that we will fully vomit - there are a few things that it can sometimes eat - but thats mostly when its being distracted or not fully in front - and when we arent on our adhd meds - but weve been on our adhd meds - and its been in front a decent amount due to one of its queries being pikmin 4 - which just sucks - like we have vomited more times in the past month - than in the past few years - and thats not including the amount of times its almost vomited - but either managed to not - or we just didnt have anything in our stomach to throw up - and so it just wont really eat much when its in front - but not eating also will make us nauseous - which makes it extremely hard to eat - to not be hungry - to be less nauseous - and this extends to when its not fully in front - but just partially - which makes it harder for whoever is in front to eat - and its just so infuriating - fun fact - i saved this as a draft because i was having trouble articulating my thoughts - and we were gagging into a toilet again within an hour -

all of this is complicated by my - - - internal emotions and relationship with veer - or maybe you could call them my exomemories - i dont know - neither sets of emotions are particularly good - but theyre both different -

a big reason why its consistently near front - is because a youtuber that we like a lot has been doing a recorded playthrough of pikmin 4 - and they upload episodes of it fairly regularly - and theyre all quite long - and we always watch them - and so veer just gets queried and stays for a bit after - which translates to it fronting for a minimum of usually 2 hours every time an episode is uploaded - which is a decently large chunk of our day -

i dunno - i just dont feel great - and im not super used to this specific way of not feeling great - usually my feeling not great is just feeling a gnawing hollow nothingness - and sometimes some psychosis stuff - but this is different - and weird -

#-- sublimate #-- falling #tw emetophobia #cw disordered eating #vent #<- for filtering -#kinda venty - so ill tag it as such - just in case -

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ferrn0 · 1 year

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REGARDING POSTING

heads up / TW: this looks at personal stuff + vent(? sorta) ALSO this is not super important / not essential for you to read

TL;DR:

less posting due to massive lack of motivation

want to post more and take art serious but its hard

could be depression or hormones idk dont know what to do

overthinking lots -> dont know why this is happening

crave regular change but havent had it + difficult to get change bc of parents -> maybe this is why??

going to try my best not to stress abt it

do not worry about me, im going to be okay

i havent been posting much proper/ finished/ full art ( not sketches ) because ive been really struggling with motivation this year. For all i know, it could be a depression(?) thing or perhaps hormones ( i have a uterus unfortunately) or maybe it just comes down to ADHD.. i do take medication for adhd but they dont really do much regarding dopamine so my motivation is still kinda low even when i take the meds. I really want to be posting proper art and i want to take my art more seriously however, without motivation its really difficult. Im finding myslef slipping back into what feels like a depressive mindset. kind of. yet, im super happy in so many aspects of my life where i used to be affected by this mindset. I have found a better group of people to be around ive found more things i want to do and ive got goals for the year- i didnt have those this time last year. And now.. my creativity has been affected and i dont know what to do.

I feel guilty for not posting. Or maybe i feel frustrated that i dont post (which leaves me with noone seeing my work). Either way, i want to post. but i cant get myself to.

this leaves me thinking...

"maybe i just need to improve my skills"

"maybe im not putting enpugh effort in, what if im just not 'trust(ing) the process' enough"

"i might need to just try a new medium"

"maybe i need a new intrest or fandom to join so i can make fanart"

"what if i was just qrong my whole life and im not cut out to be an artist?"

"perhaps theres something else wrong with me and thats why i cant get myself to do things"

And this circles round and round. So what do i do about it?? should i just take a break and not focus on posting? but i already do that anyway! do i just try to do a month long or a week long challenge? but i always miss days and eventually give up!

The more i write about this the more i realise i am not okay. and that im getting worked up over a small thing. but i am miniscule and to me this small thing is ginormous.

i am a kind of person who craves change. but only when i want it. And i have gone a very long time without the kind of change i need in my immediate environment. so maybe thats the issue. but i happen to be a child. who lives with his parents. so that causes some problems, dont it? not that my parents are horrible people or incredibly unfair. but because they have their own ideas of how we (me and my brothers) should grow up and what sort of privileges we get ect. because they are my parents. My parents believe that we should each have atleast one physical out-of-school activity we do each week. I do basketball. and i have been since i was in grade 5. its been almost 5 years. dont get me wrong, i love the game and i love playing it. but i find myself dreading going to each game everyweek. i need change. i want to quit bball. i also do drama classes each week(since yr 6/7)- but i like that. and i dont want to quit. because its different every week, every year. My bedroom has also been that same for the past 3 or so years, yes i have moved things around, but the furniture hasnt changed, and the walls have been the same colour with the same wall stickers since we moved in when i was in year 1. I spend a lot of time in here(my room) and it doesnt feel like mine anymore.

TW- eating

my medication for ADHD gives me a smaller to no appetite during the day. I no longer bring much or anything to school to eat. i dont really eat breakfast either(but i did that before i got meds anyway). I still eat dinner everyday, just a little less that i used to. and i will eat lunch (depending on situation) during the holidays and weekends mostly because it ends up getting made dor me half the time. i do suspect the rather sudden change un my eating habbits might be affecting me. but nothing terrible has happened to me yet(i have lost a few kgs but that isnt worrying as i was a little overweight beforehand). perhaps this is affecting my motivation too. but who i am to know for sure?.

END OF TW

i think i will just continue as i have been. but i will try my best to not worry myself over not posting. although i cannot make any garantees. not many people follow or interact with me here so i doubt this will cause too many concerns but if it does, please do not worry. i will be okay. i am working on myself.

I apologise to those who want/wanted to see my work more/more often. i hope this all makes sense and that you can understand ♡

with sillies,

thomas[FERRN0]

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happiiest · 5 years

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😔

#today was very tiring #i havent rested. not once #okay so i sat down to eat or a quick break while my back was hurting. that isnt rest its a physical break so i dont over use my body #so i dont hurt it. and now i'm home and layin in bed. past what four hours i've been home and just now laying in bed #when i got home i chopped up the rest of my honeydew before it could spoil like the watermelon and canteloup did last week ):#tasty tasty. then i ate that while i played some minecraft. diggin a big hole underneath the first floor. just a whole #ill tall about that in a second. so played that for an hour and a half then i went downstairs with my dishes and made ramen and veggies #dunno how that took two hours but i finished eating and doing dishes and its 8. highly unwise for me to play more games #since i gotta wind my mind down for bed time. but it feels so short. and also thinking my......hm. i never really wanted to call it this #but my addiction to video games. i mean. it doesnt interfer with my functionality at all. if i need to do something i break away from it #and do the thing i can stop doing it in order to be a functional person and stuff like chores or whatever #but the thing is i feel the need to always be doing something in warframe or mimecraft. always be logging time in missions #to raise my time played in warframe. always be using frames i have yet to master to gain mastery rank instead of my fav ones #and in mc its always wanting to make progress learn how to do things. and its fantastic and im glad i feel i want to do things!!#it just feels like that its something i should be doing. and i enjoy doing it i love playing warframe and minecraft like #theyre my passion and i love doing warframe or minecraft things!#but why!!! arent they making me happy!! im mr 14 in warframe with alot of my favorite gear. not all of it but eh. average getting there #and minecraft. i mean. i only have one project so far and thats just to dig hole. gonna make an autosorter soon #so lee and i can just chuck our mined resources in there. but other than im just having fun got more projects on #my bedrock realm but thats gonna be going offline soon since the others arent active in it anymore #and not even looking back on it is making me happy either. instead i feel almost like i wasted my time #2 years two staggering years every day playing warframe and nothing else #okay small vacations for like a week for short story based games but #it feels like i wasted my time. but i know i didnt cuz i know that i had fun with friends doing all of that and spending time together #for two years we had alot of fun playing warframe together and thats why i spent so much time ranking everything up #trying out everything so i could tell my friends about it and they could choose to either explore it with me or decide they didnt want to #i know it was valuable time spent and my mind isnt big enough to remember it all at once in a coherent manner #and waves of regret pop up now and again which is why ive kinda....avoided logging into xbox warframe alltogether #i wanna log in and feel happy and be with friends #anyway return to gaming addiction. think thats me. but im really not sure

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violetnotez · 3 years

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Haaaaiiii! I don't know if you've done this before, but can you do a headcanon with Midoriya, Bakugou, Todoroki, and Kaminari (separately) dating a slim thicc reader who's waaaaay to kind to everyone for her own good? Sorry if that was specific lol. It just suits my life.

HC: Slim Thicc + Overly Nice Reader | BNHA

Music Genre: Pop | BNHA

Characters: Midoriya, Bakugo, Todoroki

Warnings: cursing, suggestive content

Music Collection | Tip Jar | Requests!

✧･ﾟ: *✧･ﾟ:* ✧･ﾟ: *✧･ﾟ:* ✧･ﾟ: *✧･ﾟ:* ✧･ﾟ: *✧･ﾟ:* ✧･ﾟ:

Shop Owner Note: The fuq how did you describe me in four words lmaoooo-I really liked this idea alot!!!!! Also I only did Bakugo, Izuku and Shoto caus emy brain got fried, so hope thats okay!

Midoriya

THIS GIF ISNT APART OF THE HC AT ALL I JUST FOUND IT AND NOW IM FEELING SOME TYPE OF WAYYYY😳😳

Midoriya most definitely drink his respect women juice

He was raised by his mother after all

BUT

doesnt mean the boy cant be a little perverted-

He just loves your body!!!!!

How can he NOT love everything about it, from the way your school tights slightly squeeze your thighs to the point where he feel like he cant breath

Or when you wear his shirts and its tighter around the chest and flowy around you waist

Mmmmmm lets not forget your hero suit- this man would probably kiss the shoes of the person who made your suit

Cause DAMN they really made it as tight as possible and he just loves it sm

Lets be real this dude has probably popped a boner by accident just thinking about your hero suit 😶

ANYWAYS 💀💀💀💀

He is very much respectful about you and keeps his raging hormones horniness to himself

He is ALWAYS making sure you feel comfortable in your relationship, whether its from holding hands to cuddling, he will always make sure you give your consent

Now, when it comes to your kindness, this is something Midoriya probably loves the most about you

But he does find it really concerning when he notices you say “yes” to everything somebody asks you to do for them

And running yourself down, not looking as energetic as yourself

He is very observant, so he notices little things that signal you are little overwhelmed

Like your clothes arent as perfectly ironed as they used to be, you seem to be forgetting your own things while remembering to bring everybody else’s, your smile seems strained, and you just look stressed

He is so incredibly empathetic- it pains him to his s/o look so distraught

It does anger him a bit that these people can so easily take advantage of you, and not even care that you arent feeling your best because of what they asked of you

But he swallows down the anger, offering to help you with whatever you need at your dorm room

He tries to make it as stress free as he possibly can, bringing your favorite snacks and playlist of music to calm your mind

But at some point hed give you a very gentle talk,,,,

He knows you havent been feeling too great, whether you deny it or not, and he wants you to know that its perfectly okay to not say “yes” to every person

He knows you mean well and you want to help everyone out of the generosity of your heart, and he loves that about you

But you as a person are important, and you come first over anyone

✧･ﾟ: *✧･ﾟ:* ✧･ﾟ: *✧･ﾟ

Bakugo

Like Midoriya, just LOVES your body

Like cmon, how can he NOT

Dude is a ass+boob man change ma mind

At first he deifnitely denies it-

Him??? Stare at your ass??? Pshh he was looking at the oven baka, if anything your ass was blocking his view-

You would know you caught him red handed cause he face would get redder than Momo’s hero suit and he would actually stutter—-

Which would make him extrmeely annoyed and he’d be cussing a storm+be in a grumpy mood for an hour or two

But once you two get more comfortable in your relationship-

NO HOLDING BACK

He will have use every opportunity to just be meannnn

And by mean

I mean turn slapping your ass into some sick game

Like if you dont yelp and cuss him out whats the point?

Once he slapped you so hard he legit left his big ass hand print on your butt cheek and you were about to slap his smug ass back....

But off a 50ft building 🙃

Also a big softie too

Like when you to cuddle he loves cuddling into your chest 🥺🥺

To him it’s just so comfyyyyyyyyyy

Honestly, Bakugo can’t understand at all how you can be so nice to people

It confuses him???? But he finds it really....nice???

Like half the stuff you do for people Bakugo wouldn’t ever dream of doing

He knows he’d either give that person an intimidating, dirty look or just laugh at them, cause yeah right he’d waste his time with their stupid problems

Ouchhhhhhhh

But you are totally different than him-you had a lot more patience and sympathy than he had, always coming to everyone’s rescue it seemed like

He finds it attractive and to him, it confuses the hell out of him how he does

But what bothers him is how much time you spend away from him

He won’t ever admit it, but he feels lonely when you’re not around

And what’s even worse-is by the time you do hang out with him, your too tired to even properly pay attention to him after running around and doing everything for everyone else

Bakugo the Attention Whore

One day this dude would have enough, as he’s been getting the bad end of the stick for a good couple of weeks——

He just barges into were ever your at, and doesn’t give to shits what so everrrrr

Bakugo has one mission in mind: getting his s/o back

Wouldn’t acknowledge anyone but you, grabbing your wrist and yanking you out of the room even if your protesting with him

“The hell are you doing Bakugo, let go-“

“No 😠”

“Pleaseeeeeee I was in the middle of working on something-“

“I said NO 😠😠😠”

Angry Pomeranian Activated

Once stop dragging you until he locks you in his room, forcing you to hear him out

He HATES being emotional or open, but at that, he starts spilling his guts through gritted teeth and choppy sentences,,

Saying that you waste too much time in thise “extras”, that they don’t deserve as much time as you give them, and that you have more “important” things than do all their work for them

*cough cough him being the more important thing

But hoenstly, you feel a little bad for him,,,,,

So you compromise with him and promise you’ll spend more time on him

He’s pretty happy with that,

but now he takes it one step further to make sure you deifnitely have enough time to hang out with him

If he’s around when someone asks you for help, he’ll cut them off and lie straight theough his teeth, saying you two have a “date” and squeezing you close to him with an iron grip

“Wait-Bakugo-we didnt have a date planned-“

“Tsch, now we do-“

Shoto Todoroki

I have said this timeeee and timeeee againnnn

But Shoto really is the definition of innocence

So really, it wouldn’t ever dawn on him on how killer his s/o’s body is

He’s just kinda like....yeah I know they have a butt and chest? Doesn’t everyone?😶

This poor Boi someone help him

It only really sets it after a few months of being together that he’s actually really, really in love with your body

Like how did he never notice how good you look in leggings?

Or how soft and comfortable your chest is?

And why does he want you to squeeze him with your thighs? 😳

Hormones are ragingggggg

And also veryyyyyyyy protective over you

Shoto is very observant and quiet in social situations, usually opting to check out his surroundings instead of trying to be sociable

So he’ll catch from time to time classmates commenting on you and your figure, and it never sits very well with him

At first when these incidences happened he was very conflicted, not understanding this intense jealousy and need to protect you

But after a while of contemplating his feelings, he understood it was because he was protective of you

And ohohoohohoh

This man is PROTECTIVE

He does little things you would never reallly notice until you actually do

Like when he takes you home after hanging out or a date, he lingers a little longer outside your door to make sure you’re inside safely

Or when you’re walking together he will make sure your walking inside the street and away from the cars

Also has a tendency to grab your waist or your hand when a group of men come your way

He just gets paranoid okay 🥺🥺🥺

And because he’s so protective, he doesn’t practically like that you’re being taken advantage of sometimes because of your kindness

Especially when it comes to other men

On a few occasions Shoto has spotted you in a sticky situation with a guy who was being a little too close for comfort

It would make you uncomfortable of course, you had a boyfriend you already loved a lot-

but you felt kind of bad just being a total bitch to this guy who desperately wanted a chance

So you’d just awkwardly laugh and smile with their stupid pick up lines, trying your best to be polite but also show you weren’t interested

But Shoto at this point has radar for when your in trouble, and just pops out of nowhere 💀

He’s not the type to flaunt his relationship by impulsively kissing you or anything like that, but he’ll show it in subtle ways

Like calling you “dear” or wrapping his arm around your waist

Honestly, the look of pure relief and comfort in your face shows more than Shoto could have ever done,,,

And that Shoto was deifnitely someone that was more than just a “guy fiend” and soemthing like that

Also Shoto would give them a look that could kill and that instantly scares the shit out anyone lmao

These dudes faces would deflate like balloons real quick, cause at this point everyone knows who Shoto Todoroki is

And how the hell can they compete with that

Instant “oh shit my bad” type energy

After those incidents, Shoto locks down way harder

He practically has you glued to his side, and he doesn’t let go

Like at all

Get used to it cause for the rest of the day Shoto is gonna be following you around like some body guard 💀

None of these characters or shows are my own, only the storylines and narratives I create are mine. Copying, stealing, plagiarizing, rewording, or using my storylines in other media, claiming to be your own, or reposting without my consent is not allowed.

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mojwisungie · 3 years

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hc | boyfriend ♡

req (from: anon) ➥ : read the mark-jaemin boyfriend, and then then renjun-jisung boyfriend headcanons,,, can you do one for the remaining members? thank you~~

☄︎ with: lee jeno, lee donghyuck, zhong chenle ☄︎ lou.note: this has been in my wips for so long im sorry anonie but here i am to give it you guys as an offering for my birthday (its tomorrow on the 26th but anyway) hehe hope you all enjoy <3

ੈ⋆ mark & jaemin ver. | renjun & jisung ver.

Jeno

the observing, supportive boyfriend

jeno doesnt pay much attention to things that arent important

but YOU are important

you mean so much to him, and thats still an understatement

he often thinks that by paying attention to you and everything you do

he'll know you in a way no one else does

at this point, he knows everything about you

your favorite sweater (which he owns), favorite color, favorite artists, favorite songs, etc.

jeno actually knows your order by heart even if it varies in different restaurants

his mantra is actually happy y/n = happy jeno ^_^

thats also the reason why fights dont usually happen

he knows when its too much for you and so he will do what he thinks is best for the situation

anyways: dates with jeno are either doing physical activities or plain cuddling on the couch

it would mostly be him who initiates dates like hiking, biking, etc.

but, he would also always check with you if youre okay with it or if you want to rest

one time you asked him for a day in those sport grounds ?? like those places that has random games like wall-climbing, archery, and trampolines

oh this boy has the biggest smile on his face asking you, “hold on love, are you serious ( ◕▿◕ ) ?”

during hectic weeks, he’s definitely up for movie marathons

if he still has some energy, he will make a blanket fort for the both of you

also jeno lee is a cuddle bug (you cannot change my mind, this case is closed)

and so he’ll use these lazy dates to indulge in hugging you for as long as he can

on the supportive note, he always reassures you with the kindest words

AND hes the type of guy who will ask you if you need comfort or solutions when you rant to him T﹏T

and that is actually proof that he is the best support system

he'd be your hype man when you need a push

thinking of auditioning for a club? go ahead, he'll teach you what he knows

want to try a new hobby and start journaling? he'll help you find cute stickers (and he'll buy them too)

he will always help in whatever way he can, and he will constantly assure you that he’s there for you as you have been for him

he is reserved, quiet, and keep things on the down low, yet with you, he’s entirely different

jeno loves you just as you love him, and he’ll do everything to prove it to the world- you.

Haechan

the enthusiastic, soft boyfriend

he is!! literally!! the sun!!

he often calls you often in the morning to wake you up, greeting you with the loveliest voice saying, “good morning darling, how was your sleep?” SADKJASD

if he’s free, he’ll actually drop by yours to bring breakfast and eat with you

and if ever you still live with your family, you bet that once you slip into the kitchen he’s chatting up with your parents like he’s their son

actually... he technically is

he loves going out with you and your family as much as he loves going out with his

hyuck is very family-oriented, you really dont have to plead to him if you want him to come to a gathering

as long as you say yes to him inviting you to their family activities too 😌

he once asked you to go with him to this intimate family dinner his relatives organized

and you ask him, “are you sure im allowed to go? the invitation in the email complete says Lee Family and clearly.. im not-”

this man didnt even let you finish and says, “BUT YOU WILL BE!! SOON!! I WILL MARRY YOU!! baby come on just please come with me!!!”

he means it though

you dont know it, but the thought of spending the rest of his life with you often comes into his mind

and so dates with him can be both ends of the spectrum

you guys could go for fancy restaurants, amusement parks, and even late night computer games (if you dont play, he’ll teach you dont worry <3)

but there are also domestic dates such as grocery shopping, helping each other babysit nephews/nieces, and the such

its obvious to every one that haechan is so soft for you

and he doesnt care what other people say

one time, mark heard him talk to you in the cutest, softest voice and laughed... and regretted it bc haechan turned to him in the most serious face and the deepest tone saying, “and so?”

as much as possible, he wants you to feel loved bc thats what you make him feel

despite this, arguments are still there, but it doesnt go on for long

fights dont escalate as you both work together against the problem

so at the end of the day, no feelings are hurt or turned a blind eye to

disagreements are often rooted from the nature of work though, thats why every time things arent so fine, he’ll do his best to fix it

because he treasures his time with you and the love you both invest in

he didnt value time that much before, bc he’s so used to putting up with whatever that comes his way

but when you came into his life, he realized it is indeed precious

haechan spends every second loving you beyond infinity

Chenle

the parental, sincere, affectionate boyfriend

you’ve seen him rant, right?

he’ll do that often, but only when its about you not getting what you need

others may not see it, but he’s really concerned when its about you so he’ll do anything to make sure youre well taken care of

if you havent eaten yet bc youre too busy going over your notes for your exams, he’ll buy you your favorite food and feed it to you

all the while talking about how you shouldnt put aside eating bc its important to eat meals at the right time

this guy solves old math problems when he has time to spare, so he’ll be okay with you coming to for help whenever you struggle with your lessons

as cliché as it may be, he will also get you the stuff you need- whether it may be for school or for your personal shenanigans

you complained about your laptop once, saying it keeps on lagging

he deadass goes, “do you wanna go and buy a new one now?” 💀

he just wants you to do well in the stuff you do, okay ??

chenle is blunt about pretty much everything in your relationship too

he tells you all the stuff he knows he should tell you

including embarrassing moments of his members

the dreamies cant joke around with you too much,, bc they know you know everything (⁄ ⁄•⁄ω⁄•⁄ ⁄)

but jokes aside, sometimes his honesty can be cause of some arguments

bc he gets too straight-forward at times and ends up unintentionally hurting you :((

and when you explain why it made you feel that way, he’s lost bc he thinks he was just saying the truth

but as time passes, he will learn how to be upfront with you without having to sadden you

please be patient with him as he is with you 👉🏼👈🏼

anyhow, dates with him would always be one for the books

if you ever think that he probably doesnt remember the dates you wanna go on to, youre wrong

bc its all listed in his mind and he’s determined to tick every single one from the list

when he’s busy or away on tour, facetimes would be a regular thing

he’s prepared with the timezones and he will remind you to sleep when you should, no buts y/n

if you tell him you cant just drift off, he’ll always offer to sing you to sleep

and when you do, he’ll take lots of pictures to treasure the little moments he has with you

some people tell him he looks too deeply in love

but he doesnt really see anything wrong with it because it was with you

chenle completely knows that he loves you so much, and he’s willing to love you until forever

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