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svnoohe4rts · 1 year

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MY DEAR ANNOYING SEATMATE ― lee heeseung

↳ PAIRING: lee heeseung x fembodied!reader

↳ SYNOPSIS: there was only a few things you hated in life, but your dear seatmate lee heeseung was most definitely one of the few things you absolutely despised. with the two of you being paired up for an upcoming project, it seemed like life possibly couldn’t get any worse; so why did he suddenly almost look cute?

↳ GENRE: enemies to lovers (kind of but not really, reader hates heeseung for no valid reason while heeseung is just clueless)

↳ WORD COUNT: 17.1k

↳ WARNINGS: slight angst, SMUT ! MDNI . | oral (m recieving), cum eating, heeseung is extremely inexperienced while reader is experienced (let me know if there’s anything i should add !)

↳ A/N: i got too carried away writing this, making this my longest fic ever ... i blame it on nerd!hee :’) proof read but there’s probably a few mistakes i’ve missed, don’t be afraid to point them out !!! all feedback is appreciated ! <3

YOU HATED LEE HEESEUNG.

The boy assigned to the seat next to you had never necessarily done anything for you to hate him. Thinking about it, there was nothing he possibly could’ve done, considering that he usually kept to himself most of the time and had probably only uttered about two or three words to you during your time as seatmates.

But one thing was for sure, you absolutely despised him.

You hated the way he’d slide his hideous glasses up the bridge of his nose, you hated the way he’d repeatedly tap the end of his pencil against his desk, especially during math, when he’d concentrate a little too hard, but most of all, you hated how he’d interrupt the teacher whenever he felt the need to add something to whatever the teacher was talking about; usually something completely irrelevant.

If there was one thing you wished for, it was for Lee Heeseung to keep to himself during class the same way he kept to himself outside of class.

But your wishes were never fulfilled, and they most likely would never be; Heeseung being the prime example of why the fairy godmother from Cinderella didn’t actually exist like you thought when you were younger, otherwise Heeseung probably would’ve lost his ability to speak by now. What Heeseung also failed to comprehend was that whenever he embarrassed himself by raising in hand in the middle of class just to boast about his knowledge, he also embarrassed you.

When all eyes landed on him, they also landed on you. So whenever the entire class would roll their eyes at Heeseung when he once again went completely going off topic, they were technically rolling their eyes at you, too.

Like a pending doom, you wanted to sink through the ground every time he opened his mouth. You knew the second he cleared his throat and his hand went up in the air that it was your cue to press your forehead against the wooden desk, a desperate attempt to avoid the stares and sigh’s coming from your fellow classmates as Heeseung’s aggravating voice echoed through your ears.

For that very reason, you grew to hate Lee Heeseung more and more with each day that passed.

Over time, the annoyance of him always having something to say grew into you finding everything he did annoying. What started off as you two being innocently placed as seatmates, developed into you dreading going to class because of him.

Today, however, you swore you hated Heeseung more than ever.

If the universe had been on your side, Heeseung never would’ve ended up in the seat next to you for an entire year. You wouldn’t have to listen to his pencil hitting the table over and over again every single day, you wouldn’t have to listen to his annoying voice, no, this wasn’t the life you were supposed to live. You weren’t supposed to be seated next to the most annoying human being the world had ever seen, life had so much to offer you, you had so many things left to do before your life came to an end; yet the universe seemed to want you dead sooner than you had expected by making Lee Heeseung your assigned seatmate.

Your cause of death wouldn’t be of old age like you had hoped, nor would some cold-hearted illness take your life away, no, Lee Heeseung would be your cause of death; you were sure of it.

And just when you thought the universe might’ve toyed enough with you, the words trailing off your teacher's lips proved you wrong. ‘’Y/N, I think you and Heeseung would make a great pair for this project,’’

You had stopped listening to what the older woman was telling you the second your name accompanied by your dear seatmates name trailed off her lips. Almost like your whole world came crumbling down around you, you shut your eyes; nibbling on your bottom lip as you looked back on your entire life - trying to figure out what you possibly had done to deserve this type of punishment.

Maybe this was the universe’s way of getting back at you for forgetting to hand in that one group project on time, causing the whole group to get in trouble; or maybe it was the universe getting back at you for not helping that one crying kid that one time while running to the bus after school, but what were you supposed to do? Stay with the clearly upset kid and miss your only bus?

No, you obviously did what anyone else would’ve done in that situation and got on the bus.

Well, maybe it wasn’t the only bus and you probably would’ve made it on that bus even if you checked on the crying kid; but was this type of punishment really necessary? Wasn’t placing Lee Heeseung in the seat next to you enough? You already suffered thanks to the boy seated next to you every day, you had already begged the universe for forgiveness for that one time - so why were you being paired up with Heeseung for one of the most important projects of the year?

‘’Heeseung clearly shows great knowledge surrounding this subject, and your essay about it last year was astonishing Y/N,’’ The older woman's voice brought you out of your daze, hoping that the universe would’ve heard the prayers that ran through your mind by the time you opened your eyes; but with Heeseung still sitting across from you, his big eyes piercing into your soul, you realized that the universe wasn’t going to forgive you anytime soon.

You should’ve known what was about to come when your teacher told both you and Heeseung to stay behind after class, asking both of you to sit down in front of her desk. At first, you thought she was going to scold you for sending death glares Heeseung’s way every time he opened his mouth, or even better - maybe she was going to scold Heeseung, you never would’ve sent him death glares if he never opened his mouth in the first place after all.

You were mentally preparing yourself to blame everything on Heeseung the second your teacher sat down in her chair, your fingers nervously playing with the strap of your bag as your teacher cleared her throat. I’m sorry for my behavior, teacher, but he’s making it hard for me to focus when he’s constantly talking and I’m sure everyone else feels the same way hence why I feel like it’s my responsibility as his seatmate to make sure he’s not disturbing any-

‘’I’m sure you’re both aware of the upcoming project.’’

Oh.

She wasn’t going to scold you, no, this was about something completely different. Something so much more terrifying.

With your teacher still explaining to you why you and Heeseung would make such an incredible pair for this particular project, you inhaled through your nose before clearing your throat, your gaze shifting over to the older woman sitting in front of you; flashing her a forced smile.

‘’I’m sorry, miss, but is working in pairs really necessary? I mean, just like you said, Heeseung clearly shows great knowledge about this particular subject,’’ You began speaking, almost gagging as you unwillingly complimented Heeseung. ‘’And I don’t mean to flatter myself, but I have some decent knowledge about it as well, so I don’t really see why it would be necessary for us to work together.’’

You stared at your teacher in anticipation as you finished speaking, holding your breath as you waited for her to speak.

It was true, you truly didn’t understand why you would have to work with him. You knew you’d be able to do this project on your own and you knew Heeseung was perfectly capable of doing it on his own as well, so you two working together just didn’t make any sense to you.

‘’I understand where you’re coming from and I’m not doubting your knowledge, Y/N,’’ Your teacher let out, offering you a small smile in return. ‘’But I truly believe both of you could benefit from working together.’’

It felt like someone had punched you in the stomach as soon as the words left her lips. You, benifiting from working with Heeseung? No, there was no such thing. Your forced smile slowly faded away, leaning back in your chair as a frown replaced the smile that had previously sat on your lips.

‘’It sounds like a great idea to me.’’

Heeseung's irksome voice caused you to look over at him once again, having to hold back a curse from leaving your throat in annoyance as your eyes landed on the lanky boy. With his eyes glued to the teacher sitting next to him, a big smile formed on his lips; like he found the situation delightful - when in reality, there was nothing delightful about the situation, not even a little bit.

Your teacher offered Heeseung a warm smile, nodding her head. ‘’Then it’s decided, you’ll do it together.’’

You just hoped that the unpleasant expression plastered on your face didn’t go unnoticed by Heeseung.

”I’ll do the whole project.”

You had followed Heeseung out of the classroom after saying bye to your teacher, the smile you had worn in an attempt to conceal how unsatisfied you were with her decision fading away as soon as you turned around to walk after the lanky boy; a sigh of annoyance leaving your lips as you sped up to catch up with your seatmate.

Your words clearly took Heeseung by surprise, his eyes wide and his eyebrows slightly furrowed together as he turned around to look at you. You just stared at him, leaning your upper body against the lockers beside you; the shocked expression on his face remaining.

“What?” His words came out shaky, not expecting you to follow him and he did most definitely not expect you to place your body against his locker, preventing him from accessing his own locker. You sighed, “Are you deaf? I said I’ll do the project, don’t worry, I’ll hand it in on time.”

Heeseung just continued to stare at you, his lips now slightly parted. “On your own? No, absolutely not! Did you not listen to a single word that the teacher told us? It’s a group project,” He let out, shaking his head as he spoke. Yet another sigh left your lips, this one much more dramatic, followed by you rolling your eyes.

Not even two minutes into your first ever official conversation with the boy and he was already annoying you.

“I’m not stupid, okay? I can handle it, just leave it to me.” You defended yourself, emphasizing the ‘stupid’.

“I never said you were,” He looked down at the books you were holding in your hands, “But judging by the way you brought your biology book to history class, I think you might need some he-“

Heeseung stopped himself from speaking as his eyes landed on your stern, clearly unamused face.

Maybe he said a little too much.

You just stared at him as he pressed his lips into a thin line, awkwardly scratching the back of his neck as his eyes darted away from your figure in an attempt to ease the sudden tense atmosphere. “If you’re done being an asshole, I need to go get started on this project since I’m so stupid.” You had already turned around, already a few feet away from the boy when you heard him sigh from behind you.

“No, Y/N, wait!” Your eyes went wide for a second when you felt his cold hand come into contact with your wrist, your steps coming to a halt as his firm grip prevented you from taking another step. You quickly turned around, coming face to face with Heeseung, who was still holding onto your wrist, once again.

If looks could kill, Heeseung was sure he’d be dead by now.

With your eyes narrowed as you stared at him, a sigh left his lips as he ran his hand through his hair; the grip he had on your wrist slowly loosening before ultimately letting your wrist go completely - your arm falling down your side.

“I’m sorry, I didn’t mean it like that, it’s just, it’s a group project,” He let out, his hand resting at the nape of his neck. You just stared at him for a moment, not believing the audacity of the boy standing before you.

”Well, I don’t think we can work together. Go ask the teacher to assign you a new partner or something.” You let out after a moment of silence, a moment of Heeseung staring at you in anticipation; nervously waiting for you to respond. You were about to turn around once more, feeling done with the conversation; hoping that he’d actually listen to you and talk to the teacher about switching partners when a groan suddenly emerged from the taller boy's throat.

”No,” He shook his head, “I want to work with you Y/N.”

A dry chuckle trailed off your lips as you shook your head in response. “It didn’t sound like it a minute ago when you called me stupid.”

Another groan left Heeseung’s throat, the sarcastic tone lingering behind your words almost causing him to roll his eyes. Judging by the way you were already clearly annoyed with him, he decided it would be for the best if he didn’t; if he wanted to live another day, that being said.

“I said I’m sorry!” He exclaimed in defense, throwing his hands up in the air. You almost scrunched your nose in disgust at the scene in front of you, only finding him more and more annoying the more he spoke. “Whatever, are we done here or is there another insult you’ve been wanting to tell me?” You muttered, your eyes still narrowed as you stared at the dark-haired boy.

Heeseung just stared back at you for a moment. He wondered if you had just woken up on the wrong side of the bed this morning or if his words actually pissed you off that much, fighting the urge to ask you which of the two options had you in such a foul mood.

‘’Look Y/N,’’ He began speaking, pushing his glasses further up his nose using his pointer finger, “I insist. I’m sorry we got off to a bad start, but I can’t let you do this whole project on your own.”

Got off to a bad start? You almost let out a chuckle as the words left his lips, was he really that oblivious? ‘’Plus, think about it, I think we both could benefit from working together, no?’’

You pressed your lips into a thin line, your gaze darting over to look at something other than him while thinking about what he had just said.

There was absolutely nothing in it for you, besides possibly growing to hate Lee Heeseung even more than you already did. There was nothing Heeseung could possibly help you with, you knew you would be able to do the project, if not even better, on your own; history was one of the few subjects you were really good in, after all.

‘’How?’’ You asked after a while, your eyes darting back to the boy standing in front of you once again. He raised one of his eyebrows, tilting his head as he gave you a questioning look. ‘’How what, exactly?’’ He questioned, repeating your words. You let out a sigh, inhaling air through your nose in an attempt to stay calm. ‘’Yeah, like how would we possibly benefit anything from working together?’’

His lips formed into an ‘o’ shape as he realized what you meant, causing you to frown as you watched his facial expression go from a puzzled to an understanding one.

He might’ve looked smart and his grades definitely proved that he was, but when it came to interacting with another human being; God, was he awful.

A hum left Heeseungs lips as he thought about your question - now that he understood what you meant by your simple ‘how’.

‘’It’s the most important project of the year, almost our whole grade literally depends on this project,’’ He began speaking, almost like he was educating you; earning yet another stare from you, patiently waiting for him to continue his sentence.

Heeseung just stared back at you for a moment, wondering if you understood the importance of this project. Your blank stare made it hard for him to tell if you understood or not, but considering how your teacher had brought up the importance of this project multiple times during the year he just assumed you knew; clearing his throat before you could accuse him of calling you stupid, again.

‘’So I just think that if we put both our knowledge together, we’d do a better job compared to how we’d do if we did it separately,’’ He continued, ‘’She wouldn’t put us in the same group if she didn’t think it was for the best, right?’’

You kept your eyes on him as the last words trailed off his lips, a low chuckle escaping your lips as you scanned his facial expression; his bottom lip placed in between his teeth by the time he finished speaking.

Still believing this was the universe’s way of punishing you for all your sins, you refused to believe that your teacher paired you and Heeseung up for the sake of your grade. If anything, your seatmate was going to be the downfall of your grades; considering how you wouldn’t last a minute working with him. ‘’If you needed my help that bad you should’ve just said so.’’

Your words almost caused Heeseung’s jaw to hit the floor, his eyes widening in disbelief. Did you just disrespect his knowledge, the knowledge he so proudly bragged about every time he received yet another perfect grade?

‘’What? I don’t need your help!’’ He let out, stumbling over his own words as he tried to defend himself and most importantly - his pride.

A small smile formed on your lips as you watched the flustered boy in front of you. Of course Heeseung, the top student, didn’t need your help to get this project done; you knew that. But you couldn’t help but let the words leave your lips as you watched how nervously he chewed on his bottom lip, looking like he was getting ready to start begging you to work with him.

You also eventually figured out the reason behind his stubbornness. He didn’t necessarily want to work with you, but he wanted the grade that would come with him working with you. He knew that by working with you and doing the project together, you’d put the things he already knew into a new perspective and it would definitely get him a higher grade; especially since your teacher was the one who wanted you two to work together in the first place.

‘’I could totally do this whole project on my own! But it’s a group project and it’s not fair if only one of us does the whole project, not that I wouldn’t be able to do it on my own, but I just t-’’

‘’What’s in it for me?’’ His lips remained parted for a second, not a single word leaving his lips as you abruptly interrupted his rambling. He then pressed his lips back into a thin line, confusion once again taking over the flustered expression he had just worn on his face. You just stared at him, shaking your head as he remained quiet. ‘’You clearly want me to work with you so you can get a better grade,’’ You continued.

Heeseung’s lip once again parted, bringing both his hands up in the air; about to defend himself - about to deny the obvious. He, however, never got the chance to utter as much as a single noise as your voice once again filled his ears. ‘’But what’s in it for me?’’

He just started at you, making you wonder if that’s what he always did whenever he spoke to someone considering he had only taken his eyes off you for a split second during your conversation; his doe eyes staring right at you starting to make you feel slightly uncomfortable. ‘’Well,’’ He hummed, realizing there was no point in denying the truth, ‘’A better grade, I suppose?’’

You clicked your tongue against the roof of your mouth, shaking your head. ‘’That won’t do.’’ You replied, causing Heeseung to frown. ‘’What do you mean?’’ He asked, his head now slightly tilted. ‘’I know that I could achieve the very same grade, if not better, by working on my own. So working with you is technically only a hassle for me,’’ Your words caused Heeseung to mutter out a low ‘ouch’ under his breath as you continued speaking.

‘’So, what’s in it for me if we do work together?’’ The frown remained plastered on Heeseung’s face as you finished speaking, now slightly tilting your head as you waited for him to speak.

Heeseung, however, remained silent. He kept his eyes on you as he tried to think of something, anything, that you could get out of working with him; besides a better grade, that being said. With his bottom lip once again placed in between his teeth, a low groan escaped his throat as he realized there was absolutely nothing in it for you besides a better grade. Tearing his eyes off of you, a sigh escaped his lips as he shut his eyes.

He couldn’t believe he had to bargain with you in order for you to do the project with him.

‘’I’ll do anything you want.’’ Your lips parted in surprise, your eyes slightly widening as the sudden words left his mouth.

Any normal person would just simply ask their teacher to switch partners if the other person showed clear dissatisfaction with the thought of being paired up together. Heeseung, however? No, not when his whole grade was on the line.

You knew Heeseung would do anything for a good grade, even though he didn’t even have to try most of the time. But considering the fact that this project was important and as he had previously told you, your whole grade depended on this project; you knew the opportunity of you two working together was his best bet on getting the highest grade possible. Even though you were aware of how important he found his grades, you couldn’t help but wonder - was he really that desperate?

‘’Anything?’’

‘’Absolutely anything.’’

Heeseung regretted his decision the second the words left his lips and his eyes fluttered open, once again landing on your face. The smug grin you wore on your lips made him want to sink through the ground; realizing what he had just agreed to. ‘’Like, absolutely anything?’’ You repeated, your smile only growing bigger as you realized you could practically make the poor boy do anything judging by how desperate he looked with his big doe eyes staring into your own.

‘’Yes! Like, absolutely anything!’’ He groaned, pinching the bridge of his nose as he placed the other hand on his hip; something that almost made you cringe, and it probably would’ve - if you weren’t too caught up in the fact that your annoying seatmate, Lee Heeseung, just told you he’d do anything in order for you to work on the group project with him.

‘’Deal.’’ You let out, extending your right hand for him to shake. Heeseung just stared at your hand for a moment, the hand that had been pinching the bridge of his nose falling down his side as his gaze met yours once again. ‘’What? You haven’t even told me what I’m supposed to do yet, how can we make a deal if I don’t even k-’’

Heeseung fell silent the second he felt you grab his hand, rolling your eyes as you shook his hand; his lips parting in utter surprise at your unexpected action, the feeling of your smaller hand wrapping around his own causing his heart to skip a beat - from the shock of you so carelessly grabbing his hand, of course, nothing else.

‘’Let’s get this over with as soon as possible, yeah? Let’s meet up tomorrow and figure out what we should write about,’’ You spoke, interrupting the now clearly appalled boy standing in front of you as you continued shaking his hand. ‘’But,’’ Heeseung managed to stutter out, eyes wide as he watched you shake his hand. ‘’Great! I’ll meet you in the library tomorrow after class,’’

By the time Heeseung had managed to tear his gaze off your hands, you had already let his hand go and were now making your way down the hallway with your back turned towards him. Heeseung, however, kept his hand extended as his lips parted; watching you make your way down the hallway, feeling dumbfounded by what had just happened.

What did he just agree to?

The clock that decorated Heeseungs wrist hit 2:30 PM, and you were still nowhere to be seen.

Your class ended at 2 PM sharp the following day, and by 2:03 PM Heeseung found himself sitting in the library; his eyes scanning the room from the table he was sitting at as he waited for you to arrive.

Heeseung was an understanding man. He considered himself to be a very compassionate and generous person, which is why he understood why you weren’t in the library by the time he arrived. He had seen you talking to your friends right before class ended after all, or maybe the hallways were packed and stopped you from getting to the library as soon as possible, or maybe the teacher wanted to share a word with you. Whatever it was that was making you late, Heeseung understood and it wasn’t like he actually expected you to be there the second you got out of class; unlike himself.

Well, maybe a part of him did expect you to be there when he walked in. Another thing you had yet to find out about Heeseung was that while he was definitely an understanding person, he was also a time pessimist.

And with you now being almost thirty minutes late to your scheduled meeting, the meeting that you had scheduled, Heeseung began to grow anxious as his eyes landed on the watch he wore around his wrist for the nth time that day. Heeseung valued his time, especially his study time, and you being this late caused the boy to almost grow aggravated as his foot repeatedly tapped against the floor; his eyes now glued to the clock as he counted each second that passed.

Heeseung tried being an understanding person, and he was willing to wait until the clock hit the thirty-minute mark for you to show up. But with the clock now being exactly 5 seconds away from hitting 2:31 PM, he could no longer force himself to be the bigger person; a low sigh escaping his lips as he watched the clock tick. You had wasted his precious time, and he was not willing to waste any more of it by waiting for you to show up.

‘’Why did you have to pick this table? I had to walk around the entire library looking for you,’’

Your sudden voice followed by your bag landing on top of the table in front of him almost caused Heeseung to jump out of his seat, missing as his watch hit 2:31 PM when his eyes landed on you instead. Heeseung kept his eyes glued on you, his lips parting in surprise as a sigh left your lips, watching you sit down in the chair in front of him.

The boy, however, never replied to your question. Raising one of your brows, your gaze landed on the lanky boy; immediately spotting the sour look on his face. You didn’t know whether or not to laugh at the displeased look plastered on his face, his lips pressed into a thin line as stared right back at you; or if you should be concerned, considering that you had never seen him look so disappointed before.

‘’What’s with the long face? Have you suddenly gone mute or why aren’t you saying anything?’’

Maybe your wishes of Heeseung losing his ability to speak somehow finally got fulfilled.

‘’You’re late.’’

Or maybe not. A groan left your lips before you ran your hand through your hair, rolling your eyes at the boy sitting with his arms crossed in front of you before leaning back in your chair; mimicking his actions by crossing your own arms over your chest.

‘’By like, 30 minutes,’’

‘’Exactly! 30 whole minutes, that’s a lot of time! I could’ve finished my biology homework by now if you showed up on time!’’ With his arms now waving in the air as he tried explaining to you why thirty minutes was a lot of time, you couldn’t help but roll your eyes at the boy once again. ‘’I just had to stop by the cafeteria to buy myself something to drink, I’m sorry! It’s not my fault that the line was so long!’’

Now it was Heeseungs turn to roll his eyes, ‘’Why didn’t you just skip getting a drink when seeing that the line would take a while? You knew you’d be late!’’

His argument earned him yet another eye roll from you, ‘’Would you rather me be 30 minutes late to our study date or die of dehydration?’’

‘’You wouldn’t even die of dehydration, unless you haven’t had a drink in about a week which I strongly doubt you haven’t because if you hadn’t you wouldn’t even be functioning right n-’’

A loud groan coming from you interrupted Heeseung’s lecture, his lips still parted with his hands still in the air as he stared at you. ‘’God, Heeseung! You’re so annoying, you know that, right?’’ You spat at him, shaking your head as you spoke. Heeseung just stared at you, letting out a huff before leaning back in his chair; crossing his arms over his chest once again before looking over at the bookshelf placed behind you. ‘’Says the girl who wasted 30 minutes of my precious time.’’

You stared at the boy seated in front of you in disbelief. Just when you didn’t think your dear seatmate could get any more annoying, he proved you wrong by showing you the most disturbing sulking face you had ever seen, his stern face accompanied by a small pout on his plump lips almost making you shudder in repulsion; like your whole body was rejecting just the sight of Lee Heeseung sulking.

‘’You’re only wasting more of your so-called precious time by sulking.’’ You muttered after taking in the sight in front of you, the shock of seeing Heeseung sulking leaving you dumbfounded for a moment; tearing your eyes off the boy in front of you to open up your backpack to retrieve your laptop.

Heeseung’s gaze landed on you, watching as you opened up your laptop; not a single word leaving his lips, a frown taking over his face as he realized he had actually been sulking. Oh god, he had actually sulked in front of you.

The two of you remained quiet after Heeseung cleared his throat in an attempt to somewhat ease the atmosphere, his cheeks heating up in embarrassment, hiding his face by fiddling with the backpack he had placed next to his chair; praying that his hair actually covered the crimson color that had begun to spread across his cheeks.

‘’So,’’ You were the first one to speak, tearing your eyes away from your laptop; your eyes landing on the boy in front of you once more. As your eyes met his, Heeseung just hoped that his flushed cheeks had gone back to normal, not wanting to embarrass himself even further by letting you see him flustered. ‘’Any ideas of what we could write about?’’

Heeseung parted his lips, a feeling of relief washing over him as you just stared at him; not saying anything about his flushed cheeks. Maybe it wasn’t as noticeable as he thought. ‘’Oh,’’ He let out after a few seconds of just blankly staring at you, only speaking when you raised one of your eyebrows as you waited for him to respond. ‘’I was thinking we could write about the economic impact of the Titanic sinking?’’

Oh my god.

Was he actually serious right now?

You just stared at him, scanning his face as you tried to figure out if he was actually serious or not. But by the way his big, deer-like eyes were only staring innocently right back at you, you realized he was in fact serious. Oh god, he was actually serious. ‘’Don’t tell me you’re being serious?’’

Heeseung raised both his eyebrows at your question, his big eyes glistering under the extremely bad lighting of the library. ‘’What? Why wouldn’t I be? It’s a very interesting topic! You know, it impacted the economy pretty badly,’’ He began explaining, your eyes fluttering shut as soon as the words left his mouth; pressing your lips into a thin line before taking a deep breath through your nose. If you didn’t stop him right there and then, he would probably go on an hour-long rant about why and how the Titanic sinking impacted the economy.

‘’Heeseung.’’

‘’Almost all of the survivors and the families of the people who lost their lives sued the company, I can’t remember the exact number but we’re talking about millions and millions of dollars,’’

‘’Heeseung,’’

‘’I should know the exact amount of money though, what was it? Wait, let me look it up,’’

‘’Heeseung, I swear to God, if you say as much as another word about the Titanic I will personally sue you for emotional damage.’’ Heeseung had already begun typing on the keyboard of his laptop as the words left your mouth, his fingers stopped typing as he looked away from the screen of his laptop and up at you; his eyes widening.

This was the second time Heeseung felt like if looks could kill, he’d be buried 6 feet under the ground right now. It had only been approximately 24 hours since the two of you shared your first proper conversation despite being seatmates for months, yet he felt like you had wanted to kill him twice during those 24 hours.

Heeseung just gulped in response, his eyes darting back to the screen of his computer; anything to avoid the death glare you were sending him, moving the cursor to close the google tab he had opened up. He’d have to google that when he got home.

‘’How about something simple instead? Like the great depression or something?’’

‘’Isn’t that too easy?’’

You just stared at the boy in front of you, causing him to throw both hands up into the air. ‘’Alright, the great depression it is!’’ He let out, keeping his hands in the air; scared that if he complained one more time you’d actually kill him. ‘’Thank you for finally cooperating, I almost thought you weren't capable of cooperating for a while.’’ You muttered, your eyes landing on the screen of your laptop once more as your fingers ghosted over the keyboard, creating a new document for you and your annoying seatmate.

Heeseung was about to say something in protest, something about how you were the one who had arrived late and picking the most basic topics, when he realized it was probably for the best for him to keep quiet; unless he wanted you to lash out on him again.

What had he possibly done for you to be so annoyed with him?

‘’Great, now we have a topic,’’ You mumbled under your breath, Heeseung watching as your brows slightly furrowed together as you focused on something on your laptop. ‘’And for time and place?’’ Your eyes met his once again, his head slightly tilted to the side; something you had noticed he did quite a lot whenever he got confused.

He remained silent, causing you to hold back a sigh. ‘’So we can work on the project, what time and what days should we meet up?’’ You clarified, not that your original question needed clarifying; but considering how the boy seated in front of you had no idea how to have a basic conversation, you realized you would have to clarify a lot of things the next couple of weeks.

‘’Right,’’ Heeseung let out as he realized what you meant, ‘’I’m free after school on Mondays and Thursdays, if that works for you?’’

Free from doing what exactly? Researching the economic impact the Titanic had from sinking?

‘’That works for me,’’ You nodded, ‘’Let’s meet by your locker, and then head to the library to study, yeah? That way you don’t have to look like an idiot while waiting for me if I end up running late again.’’

Heeseung almost let out a whine at the mention of you running late again. He had hoped that you had learned your lesson by making him sulk in front of you, but your words proved him wrong; the thought of you making him waste another thirty minutes of his life waiting for you almost caused a groan to leave his throat in frustration. But he didn’t, only muttering out a low ‘right’, not wanting to annoy you even further.

You nodded your head, before shutting your computer; the sound of your laptop shutting close causing Heeseungs gaze to land on you again, confusion washing over him as he watched you out your laptop back into your backpack. ‘’Wait,’’ He let out, ‘’What are you doing? Aren’t we going to study?’’

You let out a chuckle as you closed your backpack, swinging it over your shoulder before standing up. ‘’It’s almost 3 o’clock, I have to get home,’’ You responded, putting the chair you had just been sitting in closer to the table. Heeseung watched your every movement, his lips parted as he watched you get ready to leave. ‘’But we haven’t even gotten anything done!’’

You just shrugged, ‘’I’m sorry, but I only had an hour to spare.’’

Heeseung just stared at you in disbelief. ‘’But you’ve only been here for, what, fifteen minutes?’’ He stuttered, the chuckle emerging from your throat taking him by surprise. ‘’Sorry, the amount of time it took for me to get a drink is also calculated into that time,’’

Frowning, Heeseung wanted to press his forehead against the table in front of him. It wasn’t his fault that you ended up being late, so why were you punishing him for it by not even studying like you had originally planned to do? The least you could do was at least stay for a while longer, just to make sure you got at least something done, not just deciding the topic. But it seemed like you weren’t going to do that, leaving Heeseung in despair.

‘’But I promise I’ll be on time next time! I’ll see you Thursday!’’

And just like that, you left Heeseung sitting in the same chair he had been sitting in for almost an hour now; waving as you walked further away. Heeseung just stared at you, watching as you spun around; a frown still plastered on his face. His forehead hit the table the second you walked out of the library, his eyes tightly shut as he let out a low groan, hoping that the rest of the people in the library didn’t hear him groaning in annoyance.

Not only had you wasted his valued time, but he also never got the chance to ask you about what you wanted him to do for you to work with him.

To Heeseung’s surprise, you actually kept your promise.

When Thursday rolled around and your last class of the day was coming to its end, Heeseung was fully prepared for you to just leave him hanging again. This time, however, he had promised himself that he’d only wait for you for a maximum of fifteen minutes, no more; especially not thirty minutes like last time. He wasn’t going to let you waste his time like that again, not when he had more important things to do rather than standing around, waiting for his seatmate.

So when you actually showed up at his locker only two minutes after he got there, he was taken aback. He had prepared himself for you being late, he even come up with the bright idea of cleaning his locker while waiting for you, which was much needed considering the amount of paper taking up all the space in his already small locker; making it hard for him to fit his books in there the more papers he gathered, only to dump them in his locker.

But it seemed like cleaning his locker would have to wait as you actually showed up on time, holding your laptop in one of your hands and a history book in the other; ready to start working.

Not only had you surprised Heeseung, but Heeseung had surprised you as well. You had mentally prepared yourself for an hour consisting of listening to Heeseung ramble about things that were completely irrelevant, things that would make you want to rip your hair out in annoyance; things that would make it incredibly hard for you to get anything done.

But you didn’t even have to set any rules, you didn’t tell him to be quiet and only talk to you if he had something to ask or say about the project, that him talking would only prevent you from getting any work done which you knew would annoy him as well; because twenty minutes into your study session, he had yet to utter a single word.

No, he kept his eyes glued to the screen the second he opened his laptop; his brows slightly furrowed together as the screen of his laptop reflected in his glasses. Like the computer had sucked him into a completely different world, his lips remained sealed as you discreetly watched him read something in the reflection of his glasses. Not that he would have noticed that you were staring at him, whatever he was reading had clearly captivated him.

No rambling, no unnecessary remarks, no nothing; he was just simply quiet. Almost too quiet.

And you started to believe that maybe, just maybe, the universe had finally heard your prayers and decided to forgive you for your sins; showing you its gratitude by letting you have one day where you wouldn’t have to lose your mind over Lee Heeseung talking.

He wasn’t so bad when he kept his mouth shut.

You would think that the quietness would make it easier for you to focus on the project, but twenty minutes in and the document still remained blank; besides a few names and random dates that Heeseung had written down at the bottom of the page for him to remember for later, watching as he switched in between tabs, the sound of him typing on his keyboard filling the room before he went back to reading once again.

There was something else clouding your mind, making it hard for you to focus on the project as the only thing you could seem to think about was what you were supposed to tell Heeseung to do for you working with him.

You found yourself lost in your own thoughts as you thought about it. You had been delighted when Heeseung first proposed the idea of him doing anything you want in order for you to work with him, ideas running through your mind; maybe this was your chance to get him to stop both embarrassing you and getting on your nerves during class. Maybe this was your chance of turning Lee Heeseung into an actual endurable seatmate.

You could forbid him from talking in class ever again, you thought, or maybe you could force him to do something so bizarre the teacher would have to change the seats around. Or maybe he didn’t have to do anything bizarre, maybe he could just ask the teacher to change the seats around; but what would be the fun in that, especially after the hell he’s unknowingly put you through day in and day out?

But the more you thought about it, the more idiotic did your options seem. You knew you couldn’t forbid him from talking in class, you knew he had to speak in class; you might be praying for Lee Heeseungs downfall, but you knew better than to play with his grades like that. The teacher had also made it very clear that she wouldn’t be changing the seats anytime soon and that we would just have to live with it after multiple groans and complaints had left the student's lips after her decision was announced.

So with your options being ripped apart one by one, you were left with nothing. Which meant you had no idea what to tell Heeseung.

You weren’t sure for how long you had been in your thoughts, but the sound of Heeseung suddenly humming snapped you out of your daze; blinking as you realized you had been zoning out for a little too long.

At first, you thought he was humming to get your attention; maybe he noticed that you still hadn’t written anything as the page was still blank and was going to ask you about it, or possibly make some smart remark about how he already knew everything the page he was on was telling him - something typical coming from Heeseung.

But he wasn’t trying to get your attention, no, he was humming a song.

You slightly furrowed your brows as you realized he was in fact humming the tune of a song, your eyes now fully fixed on him. His eyes remained glued to the screen of his laptop, the reflection in his glasses letting you know that he was still reading. You parted your lips like you were getting ready to say something, but remained silent as you continued to listen to him quietly humming.

‘’What song are you humming?’’ You spoke, the first time you spoke since you first sat down; the first time any of you spoke, as a matter of fact. Heeseung quickly looked up at you, his eyes big as his lips parted; his humming coming to an abrupt end. ‘’What?’’ He let out, causing a small chuckle to trail off your lips. ‘’The song you were humming just now, what song was it?’’

Heeseung just stared at you, his lips still parted. ‘’Oh,’’ He mumbled, a small smile spreading across his lips and you think it’s the first time you’ve ever actually seen him smile. You couldn’t help but let your eyes dart down to his pink lips, his teeth slightly showing as the corner of his lips curled into a small smile; one of his hands awkwardly rubbing the nape of his neck.

His smile almost caused you to frown, because why was his smile so pretty?

You never thought that Lee Heeseung would have a pretty smile, but with his pearly white teeth showing you couldn’t help but think just that - that Lee Heeseung did in fact have a pretty smile. ‘’I didn’t mean to, I’m sorry if I disturbed you,’’ He stuttered, looking down at his lap in another attempt to hide the crimson color spreading across his cheeks. This time, however, you noticed his flushed cheeks.

‘’No,’’ You let out, almost too quickly, ‘’You didn’t. It sounded like a good song, I mean, you sounded good.’’

Oh, God.

There was no way you actually just complimented him.

Your sudden compliment caused Heeseung to look back up at you, the shy smile he had flashed you slowly fading away and you suddenly felt like hiding your face in the palms of your hands. You weren’t sure if you somehow offended him, judging by the way his smile had now faded away completely; not that a compliment like that usually offended anyone, but you had established the fact that Heeseung didn’t work like other people a long time ago.

‘’Thank you,’’ He managed to get out after a moment of suspenseful silence, his cheeks now feeling hotter than ever as he tried biting back another smile from spreading across his lips. ‘’I can show you the song later, if you want me to of course!’’ He stammered.

You nodded in response, flashing him a small smile before returning your gaze to the screen of your computer in an attempt to ease the now stiff atmosphere; feeling awkward from the situation that had just played out. No, awkward wasn’t even the right word to describe how you felt, you felt like you wanted to sink through the ground.

Why would you ever compliment him like that?

Heeseung, however, kept his eyes on you; biting down on his bottom lip as he watched you uncomfortably shifting around in your seat while clearing your throat. Had he made you feel awkward? Was he not supposed to tell you the song? Should he just go back to reading the article he was reading? Questions flooded his mind as he desperately tried figuring out a way to ease the awkwardness that had suddenly arisen, almost slightly panicking as the thought of him making you uncomfortable crossed his mind.

‘’Oh, wait,’’

Against your own will, your eyes darted back to the boy sitting in front of you, raising one of your eyebrows as you watched him bend over; the sound of him unzipping his bag causing you to feel slightly puzzled. ‘’I forgot,’’ He mumbled as he sat back upright, your eyes darting down to his hands; watching as he placed a drink on top of the table. ‘’I brought this for you this morning, so you wouldn’t have to die out of dehydration this time.’’

Your gaze softened as he mumbled out his words, almost making it impossible for you to hear what he was saying; but you did, and a part of you wished you hadn’t - because now it was your cheeks burning.

You kept your eyes on the drink placed in front of the boy, his hand still loosely wrapped around the can; his eyes now focused on you, his bottom lip placed in between his teeth once more as he waited for you to respond. But your response never came, and Heeseung couldn’t tell if you were staring at the drink because you didn’t like it or because you found his gesture weird.

‘’I’m sorry if you don’t like it, I wasn’t sure which one to get,’’ He stuttered, letting go of the drink as he spoke, ‘’I-if you don’t want it that’s completely fine, I can just drink, I’m sorry if it was weird of me t-’’

‘’Thank you, Heeseung.’’

Your soft words caused Heeseungs body to freeze in place. He was expecting you to snap at him, or groan, or maybe even roll your eyes, his already big eyes slightly widening in shock as your eyes met his. He stared into your eyes for a moment, searching for any type of sarcasm or maybe even annoyance; but he couldn’t find any, no, the soft look in your eyes telling him that you were actually being genuine. ‘’I really like that drink.’’

Heeseung felt his cheeks heat up once again, a small smile forming on his plump lips as his fingers wrapped around the drink again; sliding the drink over the wooden table. ‘’Good.’’ He managed to get out, speaking so quietly that he was sure you hadn’t even heard him. He watched as you wrapped your own fingers around the drink, a small smile forming on your own lips.

He had made you smile.

He was quick to return his gaze to the screen of his computer, his heart feeling like it was about to burst out of his chest if he looked at you for as much as another second.

With your fingers ghosting over the keyboard of your laptop, you realized that you most definitely weren’t going to get anything done today; not while Heeseung was sitting across the table.

Heeseung made sure to buy one can of that drink every time the two of you were supposed to meet up by his locker after that.

The first couple of times he had pulled the canned drink out of his bag, you had insisted that he shouldn’t, that he didn’t have to buy you a can every Monday and Thursday, and that you could just buy one yourself; but Heeseung refused.

He wanted to, because then he got to see your smile.

You had also became less hostile towards him. You hadn’t calling him annoying or rolled your eyes at him for almost two weeks now, a new record according to Heeseung, considering how often you did those two things the first couple of times you met with him. He had also made you laugh at one point, and Heeseung swore he had never blushed so hard in his entire life.

So he was going to keep on buying you that one canned drink, because you were friends now, and that’s what friends do for each other; right?

A sigh escaped your lips as you leaned against the lockers next to you, letting your upper body rest against the hard metal as you mindlessly scrolled through your phone. Heeseung had never in his entire life been late for anything, not even once; especially not your study sessions. He was always the first one to be there, you would always spot his tall, lanky figure standing by his locker whenever you turned the corner to go met him.

This time, however, Heeseung hadn’t been standing there as you turned the corner.

You just assumed he was using the restrooms when you first arrived, knowing that he would never be late; looking back to the first time you went to meet him in the library, remembering his sulking face after he told you you had wasted his precious time - a chuckle threatening to leave your lips at the memory. You were running a few minutes late to your now weekly meet-up anyways, so you just figured that he went to do something else while he waited for you, like using the restroom for example.

But when you had been standing there for ten minutes and Heeseung was still nowhere to be seen, you realized that wasn’t the case.

You had looked around, wondering if maybe he was just lurking somewhere nearby. You checked the end of the hallway, the empty classrooms thinking maybe he got held up after class, peaking into the boy's restroom - only to find it empty. With Heeseung still nowhere to be seen, you returned to his locker with a frown plastered on your face; deciding that you’d just stay by the lockers to see if he showed up.

Now, thirty minutes later, Heeseung was still nowhere to be seen. You had already scrolled through your entire Instagram feed, checked all your friend's stories and Heeseung still hadn’t shown up. A part of you began to grow worried, because since when was Heeseung ever late? He was never late, and the thought of something happening to him caused a weird feeling to spread across your chest.

The weird feeling caused you to stop scrolling on your phone, your thumb now lingering above the screen of your phone as you frowned.

You couldn’t exactly pinpoint the exact moment you began tolerating, not to mention caring about the boy you swore you hated so much. Maybe it was that one day in the library when you had heard him humming, his warm voice almost causing goosebumps to form on the skin of your arms - or maybe it was when he had bought you a drink, you weren’t sure.

But you did know for a fact that you weren’t particularly fond of the sudden, new feelings you felt towards the boy.

It confused you, how fast everything had changed. Just four weeks ago, you had felt like your whole world came crashing down around you when your teacher had asked you to work with Heeseung. Now, four weeks later, you found yourself laughing at something he said; something you four weeks ago could never see yourself doing. But most importantly, you found yourself enjoying his company.

Something that you thought wasn’t humanly possible.

‘’I am so, so sorry,’’

Heeseungs now familiar voice brought you out of your thoughts, the feeling that had spread across your chest slowly fading away as his voice echoed behind you; feeling like a weight had been lifted off your shoulders. A small sigh of relief left your lips as you heard him walking towards you, your eyes still fixated on the screen of your phone as you turned around.

‘’Is this your payback for that one time I made you wait for me?’’ You chuckled, feeling both relieved and slightly annoyed at him for making you wait for so long without giving you a heads up; you had given him your phone number after all so he could text you if anything came up, to avoid the library incident happening again. Your eyes left the screen of your phone, darting towards the figure walking towards you in the corner of your eye.

Nothing, however, could’ve prepared you for the sight you were about to see.

The smile that had formed on your lips when you first heard his voice slowly turned into your lips slightly parting, the grip you were holding on your phone tightening in an attempt for you not to drop it onto the floor; scared that you’d potentially crack the screen. If it wasn’t because you were leaning against the locker, you probably would’ve lost your balance.

With his dark hair dripping wet from just showering, covering his forehead and half of his eyes; he placed his hands on top of his thighs as soon as he reached you, desperately panting as he tried to catch his breath. ‘’I’m sorry,’’ He panted once again, his eyes meeting the floor. ‘’My gym teacher wanted to talk to me about my grades so I had to stay behind,’’

You, however, couldn’t make out a single word that was leaving his lips. With your lips still parted your now wide eyes scanned the boy standing in front of you, still trying his best to catch his breath; your eyes landing on his very, very veiny hands - a result of him sprinting through the school just to get to you.

With your heart now racing, your eyes landed on his face again.

What the fuck?

Without his glasses, he looked like a completely different person. The person standing in front of you didn’t resemble the annoying boy you had been sitting next to every day for months now one bit, no, he didn’t look like him at all. The boy standing in front of you now looked completely different, with the glasses you had once called hideous nowhere to be seen and his biceps exposed thanks to the t-shirt he was wearing, he looked so fucking attractive.

Heeseung must’ve noticed the way you stayed silent, looking up at you through his eyelashes; his eyebrows slightly furrowing together as he noticed the pale look on your face. ‘’Are you okay?’’ He asked, concern lingering in his voice.

No, fuck, you were the furthest thing away from being okay right now.

Standing up straight, he tilted his head, slightly narrowing his eyes so he could see you better. He wasn’t wearing his glasses after all. ‘’Are you upset with me? I’m sorry I’m so late, I promise I didn’t mean to keep you waiting for so long, do you still have time to study? It’s completely okay if you don’t, we can just reschedule it or just meet up on Monday instead,’’

He was rambling, and you couldn’t bring yourself to listen to him. Not right now, not when he was looking like this. ‘’No!’’ You managed to get out, almost stuttering as you spoke. Heeseung looked at you, his eyes slightly widening at your sudden exclaim; now scared that he had really upset you. You tore your eyes off of him, sucking air through your teeth, trying to calm your racing heart down.

Why were you suddenly feeling like this? Why was your heart racing?

‘’I can’t study today, at all,’’ You stuttered, your eyes still not meeting his as you cringed at yourself for sounding so pathetic by stumbling over your own words. ‘’I just came here to tell you that, I’m busy today, so I won’t be able to make it today,’’

Heeseung remained quiet, his eyes darting down to your now clenched fists, nervousness and confusion washing over him. You had lashed out at him before, sure, but never like this; making the boy feel slightly anxious. The last thing he wanted was to upset you.

He bit down on his lower lip as you continued to avoid his gaze by staring at the lockers on the other side of the hallway, Heeseung fighting the urge to take your hands in his to check if maybe you had hurt yourself and that’s why you were clenching your fists so hard. ‘’But, you could’ve just texted me, you didn’t have to wait for me, wasn’t standing here waiting for me only taking up more of your time?’’ He let out, confusion and slight hurt lingering behind hs words.

You had always hated how smart Heeseung was, but right now, you swore you hated it more than you had ever done before.

‘’It slipped my mind,’’ You mumbled, still refusing to look back at him; scared that your heart would burst if you looked at him one more time. Heeseung just nodded in response, his eyes darting around the empty hallway as he thought of what to say. ‘’Well, are you going anywhere? Let me give you a ride, it’s the least I can do since I kept you waiting for so lo-’’

‘’It’s fine, Heeseung, I’ll take the bus, I’ll see you on Monday, okay?’’

Before Heeseung could even reply, you had already stormed past him without even looking at him. Turning around, his lips parted as he thought of calling out to you; hesitating to do so as he watched you walk further down the hallway. His lips closed once again as he watched you turn the corner, disappearing out of his sight.

With a heavy feeling in his chest and droplets of water dropping onto his shirt from not drying his hair properly, he wondered if he had hurt you by being late.

Mondays had always been your favorite day, at least since Heeseung became your seatmate; purely because the two of you didn’t share any of the same classes on that particular day. It was no different today, you were beyond happy that you wouldn’t have to face Heeseung during any of your classes - but not for the reason you usually had.

No, this time it wasn’t because you wouldn’t have to listen to his pen hitting his desk over and over again, nor was it because you wouldn’t have to endure him embarrassing you by talking over the teacher like he always did.

You were scared, and you were scared shitless to face him.

You had rushed home after you had lashed out at him in the hallway, your heart still pounding when you laid down in the comfort of your own bed. You had refused to go to school the following day, making up some lie about not feeling too well - which in reality, wasn’t a lie. You didn’t feel too well, you didn’t feel well at all, truth to be told.

The thought of you and Heeseung actually getting along had already scared you, and the fact that your heart skipped a beat when you saw him only made things worse. You had never even considered Lee Heeseung remotely attractive before, you had always hated the way he styled his hair, the way it’d neatly cover his forehead; and most of all, you had always hated the horrid, round glasses he wore every day.

But seeing him like that, with his hair messily covering his forehead and without his glasses, and not to mention his smile, oh God, his smile; you realized that he was in fact attractive. No, he was more than just that - he was breathtaking.

Something you never thought you’d admit, nor was it something you ever wanted to admit. But whether you liked it or not, it was something you could no longer deny, even though you had spent the entire weekend trying to prove yourself wrong, to no avail: Lee Heeseung had made your heart skip a beat.

With your last class of the day coming to an end, you found yourself anxiously tapping your pencil against the wooden desk in front of you, a habit you swore you hated and most definitely picked up from Heeseung. The only difference was that Heeseung had told you that he always tapped to the beat of whatever song was stuck in his head when you had asked him about his annoying habit, while you very much just repeatedly tapped it against the table with no beat whatsoever.

You had considered texting him, letting him know that you wouldn’t be able to make it to today's study session either. But with the deadline coming up, you knew you couldn’t be that selfish; you had to get the project done sooner or later. And the faster the better, you thought, so you could go back to hating Lee Heeseung and never think about what the confusing feelings you currently felt towards the boy meant ever again.

Even though you had accepted your faith by the time your last class came to an end, it didn’t make it any easier for you to make your way down the hallway leading to Heeseungs locker. The anxiety you had felt the entire weekend only doubled when you were about to turn the corner, knowing that the second you turned that very corner, you’d be able to see the lanky boy standing further down the hallway.

You weren’t sure what to expect. You prayed that he was back to wearing his hair neatly and that he was wearing his glasses this time, that he’d look like he normally did; so you could be reminded of why you hated Lee Heeseung in the first place. Maybe you just needed a reminder for your confusing feelings to go away, maybe you were just confused because he had looked so different; you didn’t actually find him that attractive, right?

Wrong.

You were wrong.

With one step, you turned the corner you were so afraid of turning, and you swore your heart stopped beating the second your eyes landed on the spot where he usually stood when he waited for you.

His hair was indeed back to being neatly styled and his round glasses were perfectly placed on the bridge of his nose again just like you had hoped, so why the fuck did he still look so breathtaking?

This was the moment you were supposed to feel the heavy weight you had felt the entire weekend being lifted off your shoulders as you realized that you didn’t actually find Heeseung as attractive as you thought you did, you were supposed to feel all the anxiety slip away; so why did it feel like someone only added more weight onto your shoulders the second your eyes landed on him?

Maybe you just needed to take a closer look.

Yeah, you definitely just needed to take a closer look.

‘’Hi,’’

Your voice definitely took Heeseung by surprise, his whole body slightly flinching as your voice came from beside him. Turning his whole body around, he looked at you; his eyes wide. ‘’Y/N? I didn’t think you’d show up today,’’ He managed to get out, his eyes still glued to you. You awkwardly smiled, shaking your head as you looked down at your shoes in an attempt to hide your now flushed face.

No, you definitely found him just as attractive, if not even more, up close.

‘’Yeah, me neither,’’ You chuckled, hoping that Heeseung would chuckle too. Only he didn’t. Instead, he remained quiet; only staring at you, not knowing what to say.

Heeseung had spent the entire weekend thinking, just like you had done. He had left school shortly after you stormed off, his mind clouded as he drove home; wondering why you were so upset when you left. He couldn’t help but curse himself out, telling himself that if he only had texted you that he’d be late you wouldn’t have been so upset with him; or if he just would’ve told his teacher that he simply didn’t have the time to discuss his grade because he had other plans - he did find meeting you more important, after all.

There were many ways Heeseung could’ve avoided you being upset with him, and he hated himself for not thinking about all those things before actually upsetting you. But Heeseung knew there was no way he’d be able to change what had already happened, so he spent the weekend trying to figure out how to apologize to you instead of sulking about you potentially being disappointed in him.

But now that you were actually standing in front of him, it seemed like all of the ways he had thought of how to apologize suddenly never existed in the first place; his mind going completely blank.

‘’Do you still want to study today?’’ Your voice snapped Heeseung out of his thoughts, blinking as he realized he had been staring at you. Clearing his throat, he tore his eyes off of you; rubbing the nape of his neck as he tried his best not to become flustered by your eyes being on him. ‘’Y-yeah, but,’’ He stammered out, something he hadn’t done in a long time; he almost never stuttered around you anymore, he had become so comfortable around you to the point where he felt comfortable talking to you without having to think about what he said - something he never felt with anyone else.

‘’I was thinking, maybe we could go to my house instead of the library?’’

Heeseung regretted saying it the second the words trailed off his lips and his eyes landed on your face, the shocked expression on your face making him regret every life choice that led him to this very moment. ‘’To your house?’’

‘’Yeah, I just, have this thing coming up later tonight a-and it’d be a lot easier for me if I was already at my house when we’re done studying,’’ He let out, the unsure look on your face making him want to sink through the ground.

He was supposed to apologize to you for letting you down before inviting you to his house, not the opposite - his plan already failing miserably.

You just stared at him for a minute, causing Heeseung to grow even more anxious. He had gotten used to the look on your face whenever you were annoyed with him, but this one didn’t look anything like that look; no, it looked like something completely different and Heeseung couldn’t tell what you were feeling, making him even more nervous.

He was just about to tell you to just forget about it and that he could probably find a way to work around it, that you could just work on your project in the library like you always did; when your voice interrupted him.

‘’Sure,’’ You softly let out, so softly that Heeseung almost didn’t catch it. ‘’Sure?’’ He repeated, making sure that he heard you correctly. You nodded in response, a small smile spreading on your lips. ‘’We can do that.’’

The car ride to his house was quiet, too quiet for your liking. But with Heeseung being focused on the road and with you staring at the window, you just couldn’t force yourself to say anything.

And neither could Heeseung. He thought that maybe this was his chance to apologize to you, maybe he wouldn’t get another opportunity today; considering how he knew you liked for him to be quiet whenever you were working. But with his fingers tapping against the steering wheel, the atmosphere felt far too awkward for him to utter a ‘sorry’.

So he just decided he’d do it as soon as you reached his house, before the two of you started working on the project; letting you continue to observe the nature outside through the window, looking at you through the corner of his eye every now and then - a small smile forming on his lips each time.

Well, you had also planned on apologizing to him for storming off like that the previous week when you reached his house. But the atmosphere was just as tense when you placed yourself on top of his bed, your eyes scanning his room; taking in the space your dear seatmate lived in.

Just like you had expected, his room was neat. A little too neat. But then again, it looked just like you had pictured it; neat, just like Heeseung himself.

‘’I hope you’re okay with working on my bed, I don't have another chair,’’ He mumbled as he used his thumb to point to the desk placed in the corner of the room, your eyes landing on the one chair before nodding. ‘’Are you not working on the bed?’’ You asked, your eyes landing on the tall boy standing a few feet away.

Heeseung looked over at you, gulping before opening his mouth to speak, ‘’I was planning on sitting by the desk, if that’s okay with you?’’ He asked, his eyes still glued to you. You bit down on your lower lip before nodding once more, your fingers nervously playing with the hem of your shirt. ‘’I mean, yeah, I just thought it'd be easier if we sat next to each other, if I need to get your opinion on something or anything,’’ You mumbled in response.

That was a lie. You could easily just send him whatever you needed to get his opinion on, but how were you supposed to comfortably apologize if he was sitting from across the room?

Luckily for you, Heeseung seemed to agree with your idea. ‘’No, yeah, you’re right, I’ll just sit on the bed with you.’’ He mumbled back, his eyes darting away from you as he used one of his hands to rub the back of his neck.

So he did, placed with his back resting against the headboard of his bed and with his laptop placed on top of his thighs, he began working on the project; just like the two of you had planned.

You, on the other hand, just couldn’t focus; just like all the other times you had worked with Heeseung.

You had been too preoccupied stealing glances at him from above the screen of your laptop from the second he sat down in front of you to even open the shared document, the sight of him being too intriguing to even consider looking away.

While not so discreetly staring at the boy sitting in front of you, you realized two things.

The first one being that you had no idea how to even bring up the subject, not knowing how to just suddenly apologize for something you didn’t even know if he cared about.

The second thing being that you accepted the fact that you indeed found Lee Heeseung attractive. Too attractive for your own good - especially when he focused on something.

With his lip nudged in between his teeth and his brows furrowed together as he focused on whatever stood written on the screen of his laptop, you couldn’t help but scan his features. You wondered for a split second how you had never noticed how sharp his jawline was before, maybe because you never really looked his way as the mere sight of him used to be more than enough to make your blood boil; you weren’t sure.

You also wondered why you had never paid more attention to his big, doe eyes before. His eyes were more than enough to make your heart skip a beat, not to mention whenever his pink lips would curl into a smile and the laugh you had learned to love would emerge from his throat.

No, you couldn’t do this anymore.

‘’Heeseung?’’

His name trailing fo your lips caused him to look up from his laptop, surprised to see your eyes already staring at him. He hummed in response, slightly tilting his head. You had to bite down on your bottom lip in order to control your breathing as his eyes met yours, inhaling through your nose before speaking, ‘’Can you take a look at this for me?’’

Heeseung offered you a soft smile, nodding his head as he sat up straight; getting ready for you to pass him your laptop so he could look at whatever you were referring to. But you had other plans it seemed, Heeseungs body freezing as he watched you crawl towards him - just to place your body in the tight space between his body and the wall.

His eyes widened as he felt your body press up against the side of his own, his breath hitching in his throat as he suddenly became aware of just how close you were to him. You had never been this close before, the closest you had ever been to him was the one time his hand accidentally brushed against yours while handing you a drink; that alone was enough to turn him into a stuttering mess.

But this? This was enough for him to lose his ability to speak for all eternity.

You, however, seemed completely unphased to Heeseung by the sudden closeness as you placed your laptop in your lap. Heeseung had to clear his throat as his eyes darted toward the screen of your computer, deciding not to say anything about how close you were to him. It made more sense for you to show him yourself, he thought, you probably didn’t mean anything by getting this close to him, right?

He watched as you moved the cursor across the screen, clicking on one of the tabs; an article now taking up the whole screen. Heeseung glanced over at you, sucking air through his teeth as he realized he would have to lean over you in order to actually make out what the text said. So he did, slowly leaning closer to the screen as he held his breath, wanting to get it over with as quickly as possible; before you had the chance to hear how his heart was racing.

‘’Oh, and Heeseung?’’ You let out after a moment, Heeseung only humming in response as he tried his best to focus on the text that stood written on the screen of your laptop, his eyes skimming through the text he couldn’t seem to make any sense of - maybe because he wasn’t actually concentrating. ‘’You remember how you told me you’d do anything for me to work with you on this project?’’

Heeseung gulped as he felt your breath fan across his neck as you spoke, ‘’Yeah?’’

‘’I want you to kiss me.’’

Almost choking on his own saliva, your words causing him to freeze; his eyes no longer skimming through the text.

He stayed still, feeling your eyes burning into his side profile as he remained in the same position, trying his best to comprehend the words that had just left your lips. You wanted him to kiss you?

Your warm hand coming into contact with the skin covering his cheek almost caused him to flinch, your hand gently cupping his cheek as you forced him to look at you. You swore that your heart almost stopped beating as soon as his big eyes met your own, his eyes wide and staring at you in pure shock.

Your eyes darted between his eyes and his lips, your own bottom lip placed in between your teeth as your eyes landed on his plump, pink lips. The lips you had caught yourself staring at one too many times during these past few weeks.

Heeseung didn’t even get to fully comprehend the position he currently found himself in before he suddenly felt your soft lips press against his own.

The kiss was soft, Heeseung staring at you with wide eyes as he watched your eyes fluttering shut, your hand still placed on the side of his cheek as you gently pulled yourself towards him. Heeseung wanted to close his eyes, he wanted to kiss you back; but he just couldn’t. Instead, the shock of feeling your lips press against his own took over all his senses as he felt your thumb gently stroke his cheek, your lips still pressed against his own.

You quickly sensed that Heeseung wasn’t kissing you back, causing you to pull away; guilt overtaking you, had he not wanted you to kiss him?

Heeseung, however, almost let out a whine at the loss of contact. So he did what he deemed appropriate, bringing his own shaky hand towards your face; cupping your cheek before pulling you in for another kiss.

This time, his eyes fluttered shut as soon as he felt your lips press against his own again. He could tell that you wanted to kiss him just as bad by the way your other hand suddenly found its way to his other cheek, pulling him even closer to you; letting your lips mesh together.

Heeseung had never kissed anyone in his entire life. He had no idea how to kiss, he had no idea what to do with his hands nor did he know what to do with his mouth. So he let you press yourself against him, almost letting out a whine when your front teeth collided with your own, feeling embarrassed. The embarrassment, however, left the second he heard a giggle trail fo your lips before once again placing your lips on top of his.

He wanted to touch you, he wanted to bring you even closer to him, he wanted to feel more of you; his hand gripping onto the hair behind your ear as he forced you closer to him, your lips still leaving small pecks on top of his own. The whimper that left your lips when his fingers brushed through your hair, however, wasn’t something he had anticipated - causing the hair on his arms to stand upright.

Not once had he thought a whimper would make his heart melt, yet it did.

It also seemed like his fingers brushing through your hair caused you to want more as he suddenly felt you swiping your tongue across the bottom of his lip. Uncertain of what to do and slightly panicking, he pulled away; staring at you with wide eyes. You seemed to pick up on his uncertainty almost immediately, brushing your own fingers through his hair in an attempt to ease his nerves before pulling him back into a kiss.

Your attempt at easing his nerves definitely worked as he let your tongue enter his mouth, your wet muscle coming into contact with his own. Heeseung swore he could’ve let out a whine at the feeling of your tongue nudging his own while your lips moving in sync, gripping onto your hair even harder in an attempt to somewhat ground himself.

Him gripping onto your hair only seemed to fuel you on even further as he suddenly felt you move the laptop that he had placed in his lap before quickly moving his own as well, placing it in front of him before climbing onto his lap. You kept your lips attached to his own, both your hands now finding their way to his hair as you further deepened the kiss.

Heeseung still had no idea what to do, especially now that you were sitting on top of him, his heart only beating faster as he felt your hands leave his hair - only to grab onto his own. ‘’It’s okay, you can touch me,’’ You mumbled, guiding his hands towards your waist before placing them there, causing Heeseung to gulp as he grabbed onto the fabric of your shirt covering your waist.

You pressed your forehead against his own, his lips more plump than usual and his breathing heavier than usual from your shared kiss, his eyes meeting yours. ‘’Do you want me to take off my glasses?’’ He stuttered, scared that they were in the way of you kissing him.

You quickly shook your head as your hands found their way up the sides of his neck, cupping both his cheeks again. ‘’No, I want you to keep them on.’’

Heeseung was about to protest, but had no time to do so as you stole his next breath away by pressing your lips against his own once more. Not that he complained, the only thing he wanted right now was to kiss you, with glasses on or not - it didn’t matter to him as long as he got to feel your lips.

The kiss was quick to turn rough, Heeseung trying his best to copy what you were doing, moving his lips the same way you were moving yours. Heeseung couldn’t help but feel blood rush to the apples of his cheeks as he felt your breasts press against his chest, scrunching up even more fabric in his fists as he pulled you even closer.

It almost felt euphoric to him, having your tongue slip into his mouth and your lips meshing together. It felt unreal, almost like he was dreaming; until you grinding yourself against his crotch brought him back to reality.

Almost like a thunderbolt hit him, his whole body tensed up as his fingers let go if the fabric of your shirt - quickly placing his hands on top of your thighs. His hand landing on your thighs caused your slow movements to come to an abrupt end, pulling away from the kiss to look at him.

With his big, doe eyes staring right back at you, the fingertips of his hands pressing into your clothed thighs, he shook his head.

Not because he didn’t want to feel your clothed core grinding on his own clothed crotch, God, no, there was nothing he’d rather feel right now. But he also knew that his euphoria would be short-lived if he let this go on any further, knowing that he most definitely wouldn’t be able to please you if it did end up going that far.

‘’I’m so sorry, I got carried away,’’ You mumbled, your hands slowly slipping away from his face and slightly using your knees to hover just above his crotch; Heeseungs eyes widening as the words left your lips. Why were you apologizing?

‘’No,’’ He let out as he grabbed onto your wrist before they left his face completely, ‘’I want to, Y/N,’’ His breathing was still uneven and he almost stumbled over his own words as he spoke, his eyes still staring into yours to show you that he was being genuine, wanting you to know that you hadn’t done anything wrong. Guiding your hands back onto his cheeks, he frowned.

You just stared at him, puzzled. ‘’So why are you saying no?’’ You whimpered, pressing your forehead against his. With a frown still plastered on his face, he felt his cheeks heat up once more as he realized how stupid he was about to sound.

‘’Because, I haven’t done this before, and I just, I want to be able to please you? I’m not saying that we’ll have sex, oh god, I mean, unless you want us to? I just want you to feel good too a-and I don’t think I’d be able to do th-’’

Heeseung didn’t even get the chance to continue his rambling before a small whine emerged from the back of his throat, suddenly feeling you press your lips right below his ear.

The feeling of your wet lips pressing a soft kiss against his sensitive skin caused his eyes to flutter shut, the new sensation taking over his body.

‘’You’re thinking too much, Heeseung,’’ You whispered against this skin, leaving yet another wet kiss right below his jawline, ‘’Just let me make you feel good, okay?’’

Thinking was what Heeseung did best, especially in moments where he felt stressed out - like right now, for example. But with your lips pressing soft, wet kisses against his neck he suddenly felt like he couldn’t think straight for the first time in his entire life; especially when he felt you press your lower body against his own once more.

Through gritted teeth, a small hiss left Heeseung’s lips, his hands now placed on top your thighs again; his eyes fluttered shut as he let you slowly grind yourself against him, only nodding in encouragement when Heeseung slightly tilted his head to the side - making it hard for the boy not to dig his nails into your clothed thighs in an attempt to tell you he was enjoying it.

Was it too early for him to get hard?

He couldn’t help but gulp as he felt his cock beginning to grow in his pants, how could it not, when he had you grinding yourself against him so carelessly? Scared that you’d feel the tent beginning to form in the crotch of his pants, he uncomfortably shifted around; which caused you to shake your head. ‘’It’s okay Heeseung.’’ Your soft voice echoed right beside his ear, his heart beginning to race as he felt you push yourself down even more, and if you hadn’t felt his now semi hard cock before - you most definitely did now.

Your hands trailed down his stomach, Heeseung’s breath hitching in his throat as he felt your hands playing with the waistband of his pants; your lips still pressing innocent kisses against his throat by the time your fingers began playing with the zipper of his jeans. His eyes fluttered open, he wanted to see what you were doing, he wanted to see what you were doing to him; see what you were doing that could possibly have this effect on him.

Maybe he should’ve kept his eyes shut, because the sight in front of him was definitely too much to take in all at once. With your head still dipped in between the crook of his neck and one of your hands resting on his chest as the other one continued playing with the zipper of his jeans, he couldn’t help but let the whimper that had been threatening to leave his throat escape.

His whimper, however, was quickly replaced by a low groan as he felt your palm press against his now almost fully hard cock. A small hum of satisfaction left your lips, the vibrations of you humming against his skin sending shivers through his body. With you now slowly palming him on top of his pants, he couldn’t help the whimpers now continuously trailing off his lips, slightly buckling his hips so he could feel more of you.

He had been too lost in the bliss of your hand slowly stroking his clothed hard-on to notice the way you had separated your lips from the skin of his neck. It wasn’t until he felt your hand leave his crotch that he realized you had stopped kissing his neck and were now looking right at him, his eyes meeting yours.

You had to hold back a whine yourself as your eye met his, his big doe eyes bigger than usual as he questionably looked at you, almost like he was begging for you to continue. ‘’Do you trust me?’’ Heeseung nodded a little too eagerly to your question, causing you to press a soft kiss against his lips. ‘’Then let me make you feel good.’’

Heeseung swore that his whole body went into shock when you separated his thighs, placing yourself in between them before moving further down the bed; his eyes widening as you looked up at him through your eyelashes, your face now on the same level as his crotch.

This was a sight Heeseung never thought he’d see in his entire life, not with anyone and especially not with you.

‘’Is this okay?’’ Your voice brought him out of his daze, his lips still parted as he realized he had only been staring at you. Gulping, he slowly nodded.

Heeseung had already felt his cheeks heat up the second you got in between his thighs, but now that you were unbuckling his belt and unzipping his pants before sliding them down his legs; he had never felt more embarrassed and vulnerable in his entire life.

And the fact that you were now staring right at the outline of his hard-on, his underwear being the only thing separating you from actually seeing his cock, made him feel even more embarrassed. He placed his hands over his face as he felt his face heat up even more. Maybe this was a bad idea, a terrible idea even, forcing his eyes shut; not wanting to see the disappointment lingering in your gaze.

You, however, were anything but disappointed. You couldn’t help your jaw going slack the second your eyes landed on his very prominent outline, a small gasp almost leaving your lips as your fingertips slowly grabbed onto his still clothed cock; giving it a gentle squeeze, earning a low groan from Heeseung.

You must’ve noticed the way he was still hiding behind his hands, causing you to lightly tap his now exposed thighs. He slowly opened his eyes, separating his fingers so he could look at you, his eyes immediately meeting yours. ‘’Is it okay if I take them off?’’ Not finding the strength to speak, he only nodded in response. He took a deep breath as he felt you hook your fingers under the waistband of his boxers, slowly pulling them down his legs.

As he felt his hard cock spring up, hitting his lower stomach; another hiss of both embarrassment and desperation trailed off his lips, followed by him covering his eyes using his hands once again. He simply just could not look at you, scared that he’d faint from the amount of awkwardness he felt by you staring at his now fully exposed cock.

‘’Heeseung, baby,’’ The nickname leaving your lips accompanied by a chuckle caused the now red boy to look at you from behind his hands once more, ‘’Don’t hide, there’s nothing to feel embarrassed about, okay?’’

Another groan emerged from the back of his throat as he slowly let his hand slip away from his face, hesitant to look at you; scared that you’d laugh at him or make fun of him for blushing so hard. But you never did, no, instead he suddenly felt you grab onto his girth, causing his eyes to immediately land on you.

Using one of your hands to experimentally stroke his cock, your lips parted in awe. You never would’ve thought that Lee Heeseung, the boy you once swore you hated, would have such a nice cock; his tip red for the lack of attention and throbbing in your hand. You leaned forwards, looking back up at him through your lashes before pressing a soft kiss against the tip.

The new feeling was almost enough for Heeseung to cum right there and then. His lips parted as he tried holding back a groan, failing miserably to do so as he watched you kiss yet another kiss to the tip of his cock; a small smile forming on your lips as you watch the boy laying in front of you melt into your touch.

Still slowly stroking it using one of your hands, you continued peppering kisses all over his tip, enjoying the way he squirmed around at the sensation. You then stuck your tongue out, leaving a wet trail from the base of his cock all the way to the tip, pushing Heeseung over the edge. He was about to tell you to please make him feel good and stop teasing him, you, however; seemed to already be on it as you wrapped your lips around his cock.

A loud groan left his lips in surprise as he felt your wet mouth wrap around his tip, followed by a hiss; his hands gripping onto the sheets as he tried his best not to buckle his hips forwards, wanting to feel your mouth on his entire cock. You pulled your lips off his cock with a pop, causing Heeseung to almost whine as he grew even more desperate.

But with you being quick to take his cock into your mouth once again, this time more of his cock filling your mouth; he never got the chance to even whine, not before you started slowly bobbing your head up and down.

With your lips now fully wrapped around his cock, all the nights he had spent in the darkness of his room tugging at his own cock, whimpering out your name as his own cum coated his stomach didn’t feel as perverted anymore.

Not that your tongue swirling around the tip of his cock felt anything like his right hand tugging at his own cock, no, his right hand couldn’t even remotely compare to your mouth now that he had experienced the bliss of your plump lips almost touching the base of his cock.

Heeseung felt like he was dreaming. Even though he had thought about your lips one too many times in the darkness of his room during the past few weeks, something he felt ashamed of admitting, he never thought he would actually get to experience it. In a way, it almost felt unreal - but the moan you let out around his cock, the vibrations causing a grunt to leave his lips reminding him that it was, in fact, real.

He wasn’t sure of just how loud he was being, not being able to stop the small whimpers and groans spilling past his lips; but one of his hands had somehow shakily made its way into your hair, pulling your head down in an attempt to relieve the throbbing of his cock. Every time your tongue swirled around his tip, he tensed up, the knot forming in his stomach telling him that he wouldn’t be able to hold back much longer.

He hoped that you understood that this was his first time and that the new feeling overwhelmed him, hence why he was gripping onto your hair and slightly lifting his hips off the mattress underneath him - desperately trying to mutter something about being close.

With him stuttering something under his breath, your eyes darted up to look at him. The sight in front of you almost caused you to let out a moan, his hair sticking to his forehead as he pressed his head into the pillow placed underneath his head; giving you a clear sight of his adam’s apple moving up and down as a result of him gulping, his lips slightly parted as another whimper left his lips.

He looked even prettier like that.

‘’Y/N,’’ He managed to stutter out, gathering even more hair in his fist as you hummed against the tip of his cock, your eyes still glued to him. ‘’I think I’m going to cum,’’

He didn’t even get to finish his sentence before the knot in his stomach snapped, a loud groan leaving his lips as he thrusted his hip forwards, not being able to control his own body as his orgasm washed over him. He was too busy trying to stay conscious as his overwhelming orgasm caused his whole body to tense up to even realize that he had unknowingly pushed your head down, your throat closing around his cock as his white seed shot down your throat only heightening his high.

With small whimpers trialing of his lips and his eyes tightly shut, he felt you pull your mouth away from his now twitching cock, droplets of his own release dropping onto his abdomen as his hand slowly let go of your hair he had bunched up in his fists.

It took a while for the boy to catch his breath, seeing stars as his eyes finally fluttered open, seeing the outline of you through his blurry vision.

Wait, did he just cum in your mouth? Without your permission?

Embarrassment shot through the boy's body, his eyes widening as he blinked; his eyes meeting yours, panic now slightly starting to set in as watched you stared at him with your lips slightly parted. ‘’I-I’m so sorry,’’ He managed to stutter out, placing his hands on both sides of his body before propping himself up so he was sitting upright.

You, on the other hand, just stared at the boy - appalled.

He had indeed just spilled his own release down your throat without any warning, and maybe you should’ve been angry with him; but how could you, when you could feel your own wetness seeping out of your hole?

‘’I couldn’t stop myself, I promise I didn’t mean to, I’m so sorry,’’ He continued rambling, the panic now being clear as day as he spoke, ‘’I’ve just never, felt so g-good before and it happened before I could sto-’’

Feeling you place yourself on top of his lap once more and smashing your lips against his own, he stopped speaking. The kiss was messy, your lips harshly moving against his own as his spit mixed with yours, combined with the taste of his own cum. The sudden kiss took him by surprise, your clothed core coming into contact with his already sensitive cock causing him to hiss against your lips. You, however, didn’t stop; a low whine leaving his throat as he felt you bite down on his lip.

‘’What are you doing?’’ He managed to whimper out as you pulled away for a second, taking in the sight in front of you. His lips were now slightly bruised, a result of your lips meshing together with his and you nibbling on his bottom lip; his doe eyes were big as he stared right back at you. Fuck, why did he have to look so pretty?

‘’You don’t think I’m done with you, do you?’’

Heeseung gulped, ‘’Y-you’re not mad at me?’’

A small chuckle left your throat, using your thumb to stroke his cheek. ‘’You’re so fucking stupid sometimes, you know that right?’’

Heeseung knew he wasn’t stupid. Heeseung was a lot of things, but stupid most certainly wasn’t one of those things; well, at least for now - knowing he’d probably be beyond dumb by the time you were done with him.

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brighttears · 1 year

Text

Finally

Joel Miller x f!reader

No physical description except female sex organs and having hair, no use of y/n

Summary: After losing contact with your lover Joel and his brother for five years, Tommy finds you and brings you into Jackson. You reunite with Joel but it doesn't take long for him to project his insecurity onto you. You talk to Tommy about it until Joel comes and finds you. You have make up sex/five years overdue sex, and end with a shower that eases some feelings out of you as you relax in your new home with Joel

Word count: 7.7k

Warnings: (18+, MINORS DNI) PIV unprotected sex, creampie, mating press, slight hair pulling, slight edging, dirty talk, Joel has a big ol weiner, pet names (baby, babygirl, good girl, sweet girl, darling, my love), you and Joel have an argument, ‘slut’ used derogatorily, accused cheating, brief drinking, kind of insecure!Joel, Tess doesn’t exist

A/n: this is the longest it’s ever taken me to post anything lol (and also the longest thing i’ve written i think?). the quality will not correlate I was messing around with like four other ideas this is the just the only one that got somewhere, also been having way less time to write and that will probably continue 3: also finally did smut (for the one person who has said they want me to lol love u)

—

Riding up to the gates of Jackson, you feel like a teenager on their first day of high school, distractingly nervous but drifted forward by hopeful butterflies. You grip the leather reins and look to Tommy riding beside you, he grants you a reassuring grin. In front of you, the gates, made of lines of thick logs with a large rusty lock, start to groan open. Tommy slips through before you and you follow him into a different world—a ghost and dream, lit up by string lights, appearing warm despite the winter, healthy and alive. Your focus, however, concentrates on the faces, many of which are looking back at your new one. Flicking from one to the next, your heart rises and falls with every one that isn’t Joel’s. Tommy’s promise has your senses perked up like an animal.

Ahead of you on the road, you double take a man with his back to you. Despite this and his hair being too gray, his posture and step are unmistakable.

“Joel,” you utter, soft, a reaction rather than a call out; it croaks out of your throat, dusty from all its time stuck there. Awakened, his name erupts from you then, “Joel,”

The man stops dead, then whirls around, and you stop breathing because it is him. Unable to look away, you stumble off of your horse and begin to walk towards him. It’s silent, almost frighteningly so, even if it’s just in your head, because it makes it feel like a dream, like if you so much as blink he’ll be gone or you’ll be awake.

Joel mirrors you, then jogs, you feel hot tears behind your eyes, and then you collide, grabbing at each other like you’re making up for every lost embrace from the past five years apart. He makes a sound, holding you with his cheek on the side of your head. You shake once with a cry, a mixture of shock that keeps your eyes wide open, though blind, actualization flowing through you and into your fingers digging into his thick coat and tangling in his hair, dregs of sorrow and resentment against time finally detaching like leeches, and love, powerfully swirling around everything inside of you.

Then you hear his voice for the first time, “Oh, baby,” and your eyes squeeze shut and you start to cry, and he holds you tighter. You can’t stop it, fueled by relief in the intense familiarity of the pressure of his arms, his scent, his voice, the way he breathes.

Once you’re breathing properly, Joel pulls away, holding your waist. He looks you over, making sure you’re real and here, and when you are, he slips a hand under your jaw and pulls your wet face into a kiss. For a moment your lips are simply pressed, frozen, overwhelmed, and then they move, and you kiss starved, revived. The feeling of sanctuary rekindling floods you, your face quivering with tears, and you have to pull apart for a breath.

And Joel is still here, and you hold his face in your hands because he’s so beautiful and he’s finally here. You take in each other’s new features—wrinkles, grays, scars. You slide your thumb over his cheek, feeling his rough skin, and then you meet in the stars in each other’s blown out pupils.

Simultaneously, you start to giggle, giddy, and then you guffaw, holding each other, and Joel pulls you back in. Tightly, he sways you like a doll, and you feel his laughter through his body like against a speaker playing heavy base. Being in his arms feels like life being unpaused.

“Tommy!” He cries over your shoulder, still laughing, “Where the fuck did’you find ‘er?” Still held tightly against him, you can’t hear Tommy’s response, but then Joel repeats “Oh, baby.” and leans his head down to loudly kiss the side of your face.

You pull away and admire him. No image that you’d drawn up in your imagination compares to Joel in the flesh. Running your hand through his longer, silvered hair, you realize just how much you were missing out on.

“I found you.” You whisper.

He chuckles with a wide smile, “You found me.” And then takes you back to him, “I missed you so much, baby.”

“I missed you to death.” You mumble into him.

Tommy’s voice sounds nearby, chuckling “Don’t smother ‘er to death, we just got ‘er back!” You part and turn to look at him with a rawly genuine grin. A sincere smile curves back. You thank him through your eyes and he nods. Joel strides past you to hug his brother, long and meaningful.

Then he turns to you, hand still on Tommy’s shoulder, and looks you up and down. “Come on, you must be freezin’, I’ll take you up to the house.”

“The house?” You question as he guides you back up the road.

“The house.” He confirms with an amiable smirk, hugging you to his side by an arm wrapped around you.

—

“I know, I know!” Joel enthuses as he closes the door behind you, watching you turn in a circle, mouth agape, taking in the house, which is actually fully intact, walls and furniture alike, basically clean. It smells like Joel and his jacket hangs on the pegboard on the wall next to the door. An acoustic guitar leans against the couch, which has a blanket hung over the back, there’s a mug out on the table, probably still half full and cold—this is Joel’s house.

“Look, look,” he calls and rushes to the kitchen sink. He turns the handle and water flows out in a powerful stream, and you stride over, mouth still open in astonishment. You put your hand under the faucet and feel the water heating up.

“Hot water!?” You cry, and you both burst out laughing again in joyful gratitude. You stop suddenly and Joel turns off the faucet. “Does this mean… shower?” Joel gives you a dramatic frown, raising his brows and shrugging, then nods his head to the stairs. Tugging at his arm, you cry out his name, thrilled. He takes off and you race him up the steps.

“I can get’chou some clean clothes easy—how long you been wearing those?”

“Disturbingly long.”

Joel laughs. “You meet Tommy’s wife yet?” He looks back at you shaking your head as he opens his bedroom door, “Well, she’ll take care a ya’.” He steps into the middle of the room and turns back to you and you magnetize, holding each other by your arms. “Man, when I first got here I just kept thinkin’ how much you’d love this place.”

The image of that almost makes you blush and your heart swells, knowing that he was still yours while you were gone, playing house with an imaginary you. “Damn straight I do. Fuck, you’ve just been livin’ it up.” Looking over his face, you’re beginning to relearn it.

“Well, I am now.” His expression shifts from excitement into contentment and he murmurs, “I missed you so much, baby,”

Fitting together comfortably, you join for a kiss.

The calm of the room allows you to experience your feelings wholly, inside and out; thus, a shared heat is overt and you strip your jackets, not parting lips and hurriedly reattaching your bodies.

“Shit,” you breathe out, craving him and finally being satisfied at the same time as his warm, powerful hands move over you, sliding up and down your sides, your back, up your forearm as your hand brushes over his face and into his hair and with your other you squeeze his thick bicep. He walks you into the wall, clutching your middle to him with an arm wrapped around you. His other hand drags from your face down your neck, flush against your skin as he continues slowly lowering it further, past your collarbone. Your chest expanding in a deep breath lifts it into his hand and Joel swears, then repeats in a murmur, “I missed you so much baby.” You respond with a whimper and wetter kiss, pulling him ever closer, and he swears again, the hand on your back clenching the fabric of your shirt. Then he moves it to the underside of your leg, between your thigh and your ass, and lifts, holding your thigh next to his leg with your foot dangling, toes curling in your boot. Truth is, no one has touched you since Joel, save for yourself, so he’s driving you crazy right now.

Your mouths together compose a natural melody, one motion rolling into the next, constantly finding and looking for more and you’re obsessed again with his flavor. If this lasted forever you wouldn’t even notice. But, just as he moans into your lips, Joel suddenly pulls back and holds you away by your waist.

You rest your hands on his forearms. “Joel?” You inquire, catching your breath, and then slide a hand over his cheek and under his chin to lift his head, looking for some kind of communication from his expression. He meets your eyes for only a second before he lets go of you completely, turning away and walking to the other side of the room.

You stay where you are, granting him space. “Joel? What’s wrong?” He turns to you but his head is bowed. “…Joel?” Anxiety scratches at your heart and you wipe your mouth.

Sighing heavily, he slowly rubs his hand over his face before finally speaking up, “Look… before we… go any further, I gotta ask…” he leans his hand on the short dresser and when he looks up his expression is unexpectedly serious. “Is there someone else?”

It takes you a couple seconds to put it together, but you ask anyway, just to make sure, “…What do you mean?”

Instantly, he replies, “You know what I mean.” Firmer this time, he repeats, “Is there someone else?” Confounded, you’re tongue tied, and he takes it as confirmation of his suspicions. “There is, isn’t there?” He almost sneers.

The atmosphere has shifted dramatically; just a few minutes ago he was laughing brightly with you, and about thirty seconds ago he was caressing you, amorous and loving.

“Are you joking?” Joel’s face says ‘what do you think?’ and you screw your own face up. “Are you asking me if I have some secret partner?” You ask once again just to be sure. He says nothing, only looks on unrelentingly and puts his hands on his hips, bent knee sticking out. You laugh coldly. “Holy shit.”

Near monotone, he asks, “Why’s that funny?”

“I just—wasn’t expecting this, at all, I mean this is just… do you realize how much of a jackass you’re being right now?” You pause, he says nothing. “Well, I’m not having a fucking affair. Okay? Jesus.”

Joel huffs, keeping stoney eye contact, and grinds his teeth. You let him brew in the silence. Still, after all this time, you can read him like a book—he has convinced himself that you found someone better while he was gone and have come back only to blow sand in his eyes, and then you’re going to run off to your new, superior lover, leaving him on his ass in the mud. And although he doesn’t want it to be true, he always puts so much faith into awful assumptions, and he hates being wrong.

You sigh in understanding but speak to him sternly, “Joel, you are making this shit up in your head and just putting it on me. That’s not fair. Don’t do this. There’s no reason to do this.”

Defensively, he suddenly raises his voice, “I jus’ wanna make sure I’m not steppin’ on any toes.” With a bite, he finishes, “I’m jus’ sayin’, if there is someone else, now’s the time to leave.”

Your expression turns unsympathetic, brow pinched and mouth parted in amazement, and then you counter venomously, “I don’t know who you think I am. I don’t know what kind of twisted version of me you’ve created in your head. Are you trying to call me a fucking slut? That’s the kind of narrative you've thought up? That’s what you’ve been thinking about while I’ve been gone—me betraying you?”

Joel’s eyes are closed and his head is shaking before you even finish, pinching his brow with two fingers, “No, no,”

You cut right back in, “Alright, well that’s what it fucking sounds like to me so I am going to leave now—not to run off to some paramour,” you spit, “but because you’re being a fucking asshole and need to run this one back through before you talk to me again.”

“W–wait,” He tries, but you’ve already spun on your heel, snatching up your jacket, and rush out with heavy footsteps. You don’t bother closing his front door behind you and don’t look back, not hearing anything either.

You don’t know this town yet, but you keep the same pace you left Joel’s with and just follow the road, packed white with hard snow. The sharp air makes your eyes water and you swipe your hands at them blurring your vision. Your breaths, fast with your fiery heartbeat, blow steamy clouds like puffs of white smoke.

You stop the first passerby you see, “There’s a bar here, right?” Your tongue hasn’t fully cooled yet and you try not to sound harsh. You’re almost out of breath.

“Yeah,” the tall woman’s voice is mousy and she tucks stray black hair into her hat, then turns and points, “just follow this road, you’ll come to Main Street, it’ll be on your right.” As she turns her head back to you she adds, “It’s called the Tispy Bison.”

“Thank you.” you nod, do your best to smile, and continue on.

—

A rush of warm air blows out through the door swinging open and your nose starts to run as you step into the Tipsy Bison. It appears very ‘American’ themed, with its warm, inoffensively red walls, everything country–style wood, and taxidermy wall mounts. Crowning bright soda fridges are neon red Coca–Cola logos. A few lively groups are scattered about, talking and laughing. Blinking into the reality of the massive dining hall, you wipe your nose with your sleeve; it’s so much like the world before and for some reason it intimidates you. As you scan the room, you spot Tommy at the bar and remember you’re thirsty.

He smiles when he notices you approaching but it fades and he furrows his brow as he regards your expression. You slip into the chair next to him and he turns his torso to face you, one arm resting over the back of his seat, the other on the bar with a beer in his hand.

A gravelly voice from behind the bar asks, “What can I get ya?” and you turn to a friendly looking woman with thick, coily hair and dark teeth.

“Surprise me.”

“Gotcha. Comin’ right up.” She smiles and moves away.

Turning your attention back to Tommy, his brow is still furrowed, as it is most of the time, really, and he bites his lip. “Trouble in paradise?”

You turn forward to rest your elbows on the bar and slide your head through your hands, pulling your cheeks, then resting them on the sides of your head. “Your brother’s being a little shit.”

He chuckles. “Yeah, he’s pretty good at that. What’e’do?”

During the time you’d been with Joel, you became close with his brother, too. Tommy has always been easy to talk to and you pick right up where you left off. It’s nice to have someone to talk candidly to about Joel, and you’re sure he feels the same.

“Same kind of shit he always does—assume the worst in everyone and stick them with it for no fucking reason.”

“Yeah, that’s pretty classic Joel.” He sips his beer and smacks his lips. “You know he does really love you, though.”

“No, I know, I mean, I can tell even with this,” you remove your hands from your head and turn to him, “he’s accusing me of having ‘someone else’,” you air quote as you confide, “like I’m having a fucking affair. Came outta nowhere.” Looking to the side to blow out a breath, your eyes automatically flick around your surroundings.

“He’s just insecure.”

“I know. It’s not like I’m cutting him off or anything, and I want to stay in Jackson, I just told him to… cool off, in so many words. You know I love him too, I just had to fucking leave.”

Just then, the voice sounds again beside you, “Here’s that surprise for ya.” She places a short, ribbed glass in front of you, a blood orange drink on the rocks.

“Thank you.” You immediately take a swig and it’s bittersweet and smooth.

As you do, Tommy says, “Yeah, good call. He just needs to get checked sometimes, y’know? He’ll figure it out. He’s just… yeah, he’s insecure.”

Looking down into your drink, you add, “He hates himself.” and spin the glass over the smooth bar. “That’s his worst quality. That’s the only thing I would change about him.”

Tommy sighs. “I think what makes it worse for him is how much he loves you.” He shakes his head, “He just gets so damn scared. He has no idea how strong he is, how good he is… I think we see a real different version of him than he does.” You nod. There’s a beat of silence before he continues, “It’s just… loss, y’know? It’s like he just wants’t’ beat it to the punch. He always feels like he’s doin’ sum’n wrong. Always thinkin’ it’s his fault.”

You nod again. “You said it: he sees a real different version of himself than we do. I just wish I could…” you suck your teeth and turn to him, “I keep trying to talk him out of it, you know? Do you think that works?”

He looks down to think for a while, then looks back at you and concludes, “I think… it’s gotta be him.”

You nod, “Yeah, I know what you mean.”

To lighten the mood, Tommy smiles, “Well, don’tchou worry, he’ll be crawlin’ back t’you with his tail between his legs any second now.” You ‘psh’, looking ahead and admiring the warm-toned colored bottles shelved on the wall. Then he adds, “You’ll never lose ‘im, you know.”

You sip your drink and roll his words around with it, full, mellow, but strongly bittersweet. You and Joel had been separated for a long time, wherein all you had was faith, and you gripped that rope tight and never let go, just like he would for you, just like he did for Tommy. Joel has yet to let you down—he’s fucked up many times, but he’s never let you down, because he puts his heart into everything he does; it’s maybe his most admirable and most troubling trait. He loves so hard it hurts, sometimes not just him. You’ll never run out of patience though, because he’s your Joel, and you love him to death. He hit you like a bullet, quick and good, and he’s lodged somewhere inside of you, unretrievable.

“Speak a the devil.” Tommy’s voice breaks you out of reflection, looking past you, and you turn to see Joel, halfway in the doorway, devastating eyes and all. For a moment you just watch him, awkward in the doorway, admiring his presence, but you keep a straight, neutral face. You look back at Tommy as you take a last swig of your drink and he smiles with understanding eyes.

Hopping down from your stool and strolling towards Joel, you have to bite hard back a smile, though you’re still pissed. Catching him doing the same, you briefly question why you have to do this dance instead of just leaping back into each other, mixing into your color and staying like that in his bed, which must be so soft and comfortable and warm with him in it. He is so god damn beautiful and it’s been so long that your hands twist nervously behind your back and you feel yourself blushing, so you turn your head down as you near him. You have good reason to show him you’re upset, though—the dance is important.

“Can we talk?” He asks you, voice entirely soft.

You look up at him, pause, and then nod. Joel turns back outside slowly and does more than he needs to to hold the door for you.

Winter is near its end but you’ve arrived just in time for a cold snap; the wind has picked up significantly in the short time you’ve been inside, icey and sharp, and you bend your head down against it and hug yourself. Joel starts to put his arm around you but pulls away, glancing at you with awkward steps towards his house.

“Hold me.” You answer, so he does, arm around your shoulders, curving himself around you as the wind whips. The man is a living furnace, you can feel it even like this.

—

It’s silent until you’re back in Joel’s house, too cold and windy for any kind of conversation. Adjusting to the indoors, you both blow out sighs, and Joel impulsively helps you out of your coat and hangs it on the peg next to his on the wall by the door. Then he just stands awkwardly; he’s never been good at this. What’s important, though, is that he’s trying. Waiting patiently for him to gather his thoughts, you lean against a wall with your hands behind your back. After a moment, he looks around, sucking his teeth, and then moves ungainly to sit in a chair at the table. You follow and sit across from him. More silence, he fiddles with his hands on the table in front of him and grinds his teeth. Under the table, you run a finger back and forth over the wood’s grooves on its apron.

“Okay,” he starts, then pauses, keeping his gaze on his hands. “I’m sorry.” His voice sounds rehearsed, like he said ‘I’m sorry’ in his head twenty times before he spoke it. “I was wrong. I didn’t mean t’… I mean I’d be pissed too, if you said sum’n like that to me. I know that’s not you. I was jus’… scared,” he wills the word out, looking off to some spot on the floor, “You’re right, I,” he pauses, then motions his hand up in circles next to his head, “I jus’, made this whole story up in my head. I mean we haven’t even talked about, y’know, what’s happened in the past five years. I have no idea what you did or didn’t do, and it’s not my business unless you want it to be. I jus’, I don’t know,” he shifts back in his chair and fiddles with his hands again, “I was just afraid that y’d… forgott’n about me or found someone better or, uhh…y–y–”

Watching him start to fumble over his words, you decide that now is an ok time to cut in, starting quiet and gentle, “I didn’t.” Joel looks at you as you speak, his brow furrowed up. “I never forgot about you. I thought about you every day. I was scared, too, I didn’t know anything about how you were doing or where you were, I didn’t know if I was ever gonna see you again, but I just lived like I would. I couldn’t let you go. I couldn’t, I wasn’t able to. And there’s no one better, Joel,” you slide your hand over the table to take one of his. He unclasps them to fold it in and watches his thumb stroke over your hand. “You are the only one. What I feel for you can’t be touched. Even if I tried, I don’t think I could be with anyone else. But I didn’t try. All I did was miss you.”

At that, Joel takes your hand with both of his, taking a deep breath, and then leans in to place soft kisses over your knuckles, peering up at you as he does. A bolt in your core throbs heat into the rest of your body and you feel slightly dizzy. Again, you haven't had any kind of touch like this since the last time you were with Joel, so you’re starving for it, but above all, for Joel. His lips are gentle, his hands are warm and burly folded around yours.

You slip your hand out of his and get up from the table. He watches you walk to his side to fix your level of separation and he stands and joins you back into an embrace.

You sink into each other, bodies and minds fusing as if you were never apart. You match temperatures so all you feel is the pressure of his hands sliding up your back, under your shirt. In his hold, your back is arched and your hips are met; there’s barely any space between your bodies at all. You hold onto his face, running your hands over it, messing up his hair, focusing on his lips, letting him do the work on your body. Joel places a hand on the front of your thigh and starts slowly dragging it up. You twitch under it, desire like a lightning storm around under his touch. You nearly jerk into it and he finally slides his broad hand flush between your thighs. Your head falls back and he doesn’t miss a beat, moving his lips on your neck, and it forces a moan out of you.

“You like that?” He says into your skin, barely out of a kiss, nose pressed against it.

“Yes,” you whine, “please, oh my god.”

You feel Joel smile into your neck and he nips it. “Jump up.” You do, his hands out and ready to catch your thighs. This was a regular trick of yours and apparently your bodies haven’t forgotten it. As he starts for the stairs, you lean yourself over his shoulder. The placement of his hands are in both the best and worst spot, splayed just barely over every area you want him to touch. You hold onto his neck as he brings you upstairs and laugh when he kicks his bedroom door open, making it bang loudly against the wall. Once you drop back down to the ground, you connect your mouths again and immediately start to strip. While you struggle with the buttons on his shirt he undoes his belt and jeans and then yours. You rip his flannel off of him, annoyed at it, and then slide your hands under his shirt. You feel over his chest, around his back, and up his sides, relishing in it, and he chuckles into your lips before helping you pull it off. He wastes no time on your shirt, loving that you’re braless, caressing your chest, and then pulls you in, pressing your bare fronts together. You moan in the satisfaction of feeling him like this again. His calloused hands run smoothly up your back and on their way down pass briefly under your waistband. You raise him by slipping your hand all the way into his jeans, cupping his hardening cock. He swears into your mouth as you find hold of it. It electrifies you further, having forgotten about this part of him. Quickening breaths deepen the rise and fall of your chest against his.

He pulls his lips from yours and his voice is gruff when he says, “You’re killin’ me darlin’.”

The tone and the way he’s hardening in your hands is driving you wildly lustful and you tell him frankly, voice pitched high, “I want you so bad Joel I love your cock I need you to fuck me,” all of this wet into his lips.

Immediately, Joel tugs down your pants, but when they’re at your knees, he pulls away to look at you and he says “Boots.” You both laugh breathily and sit down on the edge of his bed—your pants still halfway down—undoing your laces hastily. He finishes first and then helps you untie the laces of your other shoe, both of you chuckling with heavy breaths. You kick them off and then Joel moves in front of you, taking hold of the cuffs of your jeans to pull them off. Once they are, in one swift motion, he opens your legs up with his in between them, and, still standing but leaning over you on the bed, he slips his hand back between your legs. He places it flush against you through your underwear, which would be embarrassingly dirty, but who fucking cares? They’ll be gone soon anyway. Joel’s mouth opens amorously, watching your eyes as you let out a long, embarrassingly pornographic moan at the raw enough contact. He slides down deeper, the heel of his hand pressing lightly and thrillingly on your clit and you gasp into another moan. He grins and then leans his head down to your neck, dragging his tongue up its full length.

“Fuck,” you drawl involuntarily as a shiver runs through you and you hook your arms under his to claw his back. When Joel slides his hand back up between your legs, wetness seeps from your slit. Joel chuckles erotically, his breath over the line of his saliva on your neck making it worse and your legs open wider. The heat under his hand matches that in your chest and your breaths are more desperate in want of him.

Fed up of him taking it so slow, you slide your hands under him and push him up, holding onto his biceps to pull you up with him as he stands, and lick into his mouth. Your other hand goes straight into his pants and under his briefs, teasing him like he had you. When he moans into your mouth you squeeze only slightly and then slowly move your hand up until your thumb comes to the spot just before the underside of his tip. You begin working it like that, teasing him wet and sensitive in your hand.

Joel pulls his face away from yours, eyes closed, and breathes out “Shit.” He squeezes the arm reached down and moves his hips into your hand. You keep at it, biting your lip watching him. “Ah, oh, fuck,” he mumbles, almost sluring his words, and warns, “If you don’t stop I’m gonna cum,” when you do stop, he groans.

Bringing your hand away from him, you settle it on his belly and wrap your other arm around his neck to nuzzle your face into it and mumble, “I missed your cock so much, I miss feeling it, I wanna see you cum,”

“Fuck.” Joel states, then commands, “Lay back on the bed.” You do as you’re told, propping yourself up with your forearms behind you on the bed and watch him drop his pants. Finally naked, his cock bounces to flip onto his stomach, reaching just under his belly button; dark curls hide everything else. Your sigh is almost a moan just looking at him, like a meaty roman sculpture of the exemplary man. His brow shadows sultry eyes and, like an animal in heat, you open your legs, peering up at him needily.

He slowly crawls over you and whispers, “Move up for me darlin’,” nodding his head to the side for you to lay properly on the bed, head on his pillow. He reaches past you to click on the bedside lamp and then sits up on his knees, admiring you under the golden–yellow light. He places a large hand on your stomach, adding pressure as he slivers it up to fondle your chest.

You appreciate the sentiment, but you have plenty of time for slow, worship sex, and right now, “Joel please I need you to fuck me,”

Smirking, he growls, “Since you asked so nice,” and lowers himself onto you, kissing sluggishly. He doesn’t bother to remove his face from against yours to take your underwear off, just tugs at them until they find their way to slip off. Then, as he positions himself, your thigh slides over his—it’s small, but something about it makes you sigh sensually.

“You ready for me baby?” Joel asks, hovering his lips over yours.

You could come up with some clever remark but now is not the time, so you simply whine, “Yes, Joel, please, I need you,”

“Yeah?” He says, low and lazy, and then moans softly as he eases his thick length into you. Deep satisfaction flows through you as he fills you up, humming and moaning. Your foreheads press together as you adjust, both your mouths wide open, and Joel’s fist clutches the sheets next to your head. He brings himself back out slowly until only his tip is inside you, and then his free hand clutches your side as if to hold you in place as he reinserts himself and begins thrusting, now only barely pulling any length out before plunging back in. Your lungs jump and clumsy moans pour out of you as the force of it rocks your hips.

Joel licks your cheek and then, grabbing hold of your hips to keep himself inside you, pulls himself to sit on his knees. Stretching your arms up, you bear yourself to him, and his mouth has yet to close. He bites his lip before starting to fuck you again, both harder and faster, holding your lower back completely off of the bed.

“Only me, huh?” He says, breaths bumping as he drives himself into you, “I’m the only one that touches you?”

“Yes,” you moan out.

“You touched yourself, though did’n you?” You answer in the same way, “You thought about me while you did, huh?”

“Uh-huh,” you sound, high pitched as he starts to fuck you harder.

“Did it feel this good?”

“No,” your drawn out answer catches with the force of his hips pounding against you.

Joel’s head falls back as he speeds up and you already feel yourself start to constrict around him.

“Shit,” he looks back down at you, hums aggressively, and slows his pace dramatically. “No baby, not yet, not yet.” As he pulls out fully, precum flicks onto your stomach and he drops your hips. Back down on top of you, your body weighs into the bed under his and your mouths bond again.

Joel can’t keep his cock out of you for long, though, keeping up messy kisses, each rolling into the next in a flux, he shoves his hand down to slip back into you and fucks a quick tempo that makes the bed creak. One of his hands stays planted on the bed next to your head and the other goes back to hold your hip, pulling you into him with each of his thrusts. Angled slightly up inside of you, he hits a spot that produces a guttural moan from you, and while your mouth is wide open with it, Joel doesn’t quit biting and licking at your lips.

Your body reacts without you, your hand slithering over him—up his arms, his torso, his back, one landing to grip his hair and the other reaching at his hip. The way he bucks into you now hinders your ability to kiss but your faces rub and touch, sharing the same hot air, moaning over each other.

After one loud, long moan, Joel pulls out of you again in a swift motion, moaning through pants.

“Joel why the fuck do you keep stopping,” you slap your palms on his chest in frustration, legs still spread under him.

“Well I js’ don’t wanna cum too fast,” he answers innocently.

“Joel I have been waiting five years…” he starts to chuckle and you smile, “for you to cum.” You slap his chest again and then decide to take this matter into your own hands, pushing him up to get yourself on top. You straddle him, his cock resting stiff and shining on his stomach. Back up at his face, you look into dark eyes, his lips parted with heavy breaths, and you slide your fingers through his hair, gripping a bunch, silver strands highlighted in the light. Keeping eye contact, Joel’s fingers trail lightly down either of your sides as you sit up, sliding his joystick into your hold, and he hums as you sit down on it. After adjusting to his throbbing size, you come up and back down slowly a few times, and then begin swinging your hips to fuck him. A loud, long moan cracks out of him and he closes his eyes and seizes your hips. You release his hair and instead hold into his thick, veiny forearms like handlebars as you accelerate. He moans, long and loud again, and, keeping up a beat with your hips, you lay down on him, pressing your body against his, and eat the moans from his mouth. He adjusts his hold by wrapping an arm around the middle of your back to hold you down and squeezing your ass with the other as if to help your hips along. To keep yourself stabilized enough to keep your mouths together—you could barely call it kissing anymore, just sliding tongues and lips however you can—you plant your hands on the bed with your arms like you would doing a pushup.

Even though you’re on top, Joel is in control now, holding you to fuck up into you.

He angles his head down so that your foreheads stay pressed but he can speak, “Fuck babygirl you feel so good, so fuckin’ tight, I fill you up so good, huh? Pussy’s just for me to cum in, huh? All fr’ me? All mine? Can you tell me you’re all mine?” His words and breaths catch with the rhythm of the surging flux of your bodies rolling together. You feel his muscles jolting in his lower abdomen as he drives in and out and those in his arm twitching against your back with the force of it. The way he fills you is carnally satisfying and overdue and you never want it to stop.

“Yes, yes, all yours, all for you, my pussy’s all for you—fuuck—yours, my pussy belongs to you,”

“Thas’ right, babygirl, you belong to me.” He takes your bottom lip with his teeth and pulls your mouth back to roll his tongue into and unfurls his arm around you to grasp a bundle of hair.

Suddenly, he maneuvers you to flump your back on the bed, bringing himself back on top, and immediately stuffs himself back into you. He grips your hips again to fuck you like he was before, controlling you like a doll, and you grab onto his wrists.

“Fuck, babygirl,” he continues, fucking with an immediately brutal pace, hitting you somewhere deep and perfect but he’s talking over you too much to be able to tell him you’re going to cum, “I was so spolied, I didn’ realize how spoiled I was with this lil’ pussy,” he bumps you hard and rough a couple times to emphasize, “perfect lil’ pussy on my perfect lil’ girl, my sweet girl, so good to me,” Joel tilts forward, keeping himself securely deep between your legs, and releases one of your hips—which you would not be surprised to be bruised exactly in the form of his fingers—to stroke his hand over your cheek, and then gently hooks his thumb in your mouth, pulling your lip out to the side. “Now I get t’ fuck you every fuckin’ night, cause you’re all mine n’ I’m all yours, gonna make you cum every fuckin’ night,” your hips inadvertently lurch against him and you bark a moan and his thumb trails out of your mouth as your head leans back onto the bed. You haven’t had your body move like this in awhile, an animal in and of itself, innately greedy for its mate. Joel sounds almost excited when he says, “Ooh, oh, you gonna cum babygirl?” He sits back on his calves rather than standing on his knees and readjusts his hold on your hips, hands digging into the flesh defining your waist to your hips, and pulls you into his rough, uncoordinated thrusts, driving the entirety of his shaft into you so deep that you feel pressure pushing up in your stomach with each rocking tug. He pants out moans, watching you attentively as your face screws up while you reach your personal crescendo.

The only time you feel this desperate for something is when you’re about to die—such a blind need, a moment stretched out that you will to continue until you are satiated, and oh does Joel deliver.

“Go on babygirl, go on n’ cum for me, cum around my cock, be a good girl an’ show me you’re mine, I wanna make you cum, baby cum for me, cum for me,”

His pleading encouragement is more than enough to pierce the balloon swelling in your stomach, already being bumped rapturously by his manhood. One of your hands is thrown back, grasping at the sheets, the other remaining around his wrist. Your eyes roll back in your head, you suck in a breath and there is a moment of silence, save for the creaking bed, before you break it with a ridiculous, long moan, perceiving only the bursts of ecstasy from Joel’s messy pace, which he quickens with breathy moans. Your contractions around him are dramatic, essentially sucking his dick inside of you like instinct. He pulls you against him and is mostly still besides his hips, which rapidly lurch, drawing out your orgasm to overlap with his. He falls silent again, mouth open and his brow furrowed, eyes also nearly rolled back in his head, as he mechanically glides short in and outs, nearly all of him buried inside of you, pulling back an inch at a time at most as he uses your trembling, sheathlike pussy to stroke out his cum. Then, as his hips jerk forward, leaning into you, and then jerk in again, moans squeeze out of his throat, and he finishes pressed into you.

Panting, you stay pressed and gaze at each other, more or less astonished.

“God damn.” Joel is the first to comment.

You laugh, out of breath, feeling him ooze inside of you. “We really get to do that every night.”

“My god I’m in heaven.” He half jokes with a smile, then relaxes your position with a huff, letting his softening length fall out and rest over you. Joel runs his hands up and down your body in two broad strokes, looking you over, then smirks and chuckles breathily. Then he slaps your thighs and simply offers, “Shower?” and laughs as your face lights up.

“Fuck I almost forgot about that!” You grin with wide, excited eyes, and follow him off the bed, squeezing your legs together a little, still filled with his cum, as you walk to the bathroom attached to Joel’s room. You admire the back of him as he turns the squeaky knobs. You can count on one hand how many times you’ve gotten this kind of full view of him; as many times as you’ve been naked with each other, it’s almost always had to have been somewhat ducked and rushed. His back is casually muscular and he has ever so slight love handles. A knee bent outwards shows off a round ass.

Hearing the water start to spray, you can’t help a giggle, eager, and he twists to you with a smirking grin and laughs.

“Oh man,” he chuckles as he turns his back, meticulously adjusting the temperature, then twists his head again, looking at you expectantly, “Well come on, then,” and you patter over. He gently takes your hand to lead you into the square stall, and moves behind you to slide the glass door shut.

There is no need for him to walk you through the process of taking a shower, but he slowly guides you under the spray anyway, and you gasp as it hits you, still heating up, not used to the sensation. You hadn't realized that it’s been so long that you’ve forgotten how a shower feels and it disturbs you slightly, feeling a little feral versus Joel’s domesticated cleanliness, but his light, absent minded smile eases the thoughts out as he walks in a few slow steps, backing you up to join you under the showerhead’s broad spray. He leans his head back, closes his eyes under the water, and lets go of you to smooth his hair back as the water soaks it. When he opens his eyes again, he smiles at you and smoothes his hands over your wet face.

“Turn around,” he nods, and you do. He stops touching you, leaving you unnerved for only a moment until his hands come back over your upper back, cool soap gliding them over your skin. He squeezes your shoulders lightly and it makes you sigh, then slides his hands over your shoulders, up and down each arm individually, adding more slight, relaxing pressure, and then his hands follow the personal downward design of your body as he shifts his body against your back. Stubble tickles your neck and you giggle as he nudges in to place innocent kisses over your neck while he washes your chest, then slipping soapy hands down your sides to your waist, hips, and what he can reach of your thighs. Humming out a deep sigh, you feel dazed and limp under the hot, deeply relaxing water. Joel embraces you from behind, just resting his face in your neck, standing still with his arms around you.

Suddenly, you’re hit with the urge to cry. This is the safest you’ve felt in a long, long time. Not only are you in Jackson, a secure compound where you can go see a friend for a drink and take a hot shower with the promise of fresh clothes, but your love is finally with you, solid and warm, holding you with strong arms and gentle lips. You can’t hold it back, and when Joel feels it he removes himself and turns you around. “What’s wrong babygirl?” concern contorts his face.

Smiling as much as your crying allows, you answer, “Nothing.”

Understanding, Joel pouts his lips in an emotional smile and pulls you back in, hooking his arms under yours to support your weight, and your arms follow up around his neck. “I know.” You let it go and weep quietly against him. “It’s alright baby. I got’chou. You’re alright, darlin’.” He reassures you. After a couple minutes, you calm, suddenly very tired, barely opening your eyes when Joel pulls away. “Oh, baby,” he chuckles, “don’t go to sleep in the shower. Lemme finish you up real quick, then you can go to bed n’ I’ll get you some new clothes from Maria.”

“No,” you murmur, “don’t leave me.”

“Alright, alright,” he pulls you back in, “I’ll stay with you. I’ll never leave you.” He sighs serenely into the crook of your neck. “You can just borrow some’m my clothes, n’ I’ll talk to Maria in the mornin’. Okay?” You nod. “Alright, baby,” he readjusts his embrace around you, “let’s just get into bed, we can give you a proper shower later. Plenty a time. You can take a shower every day if you want, a hot shower every day. An’ I’ll stay with you every night. Jus’ like like this.” Joel’s hands rub up and down your body, “Warm like this. Every day will be warm jus’ like this now, my love.”

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annabelinlove · 5 months

Text

I am yours

Pairing: Poly!marauders x reader

Word Count: 2k

Summary: How your searching for love led you to the Marauders

Notes: English is not my first language, use of Y/n, James was dating Lily but then stared dating Wolfstar, just started writing so maybe shit lol

Dating wasn’t easy, not when you were a student at Hogwarts where everyone was in each other business and you couldn’t do anything without it being the hot topic all around the school the next day. Also, being a Slytherin was view as being a snobbish bitch, which didn’t really help your dating life. And still, you wanted to be loved and love with your whole heart.

“I know you’re not studying, darling.”

Your thinking was disturbed by a calm voice that belong to no other than Remus Lupin. You had no idea, how your friendship with the marauders began. Maybe it was when you were 11 and James Potter helped you find your class, when you were wandering lost around the Castle. Maybe it was when you were 13 in a potion class and your hair was falling into your face and Sirius Black gave you his scrunchie so you won’t fuck up the potion because you couldn’t see. Or was it when Remus Lupin gave you his chocolate when he found you frustrated in the library over a stupid homework when you were 12? You really didn’t know, but the golden boys of Gryffindor were your best friends and you wouldn’t change a thing, even if you were secretly hoping, that you could be more.

“I am studying.” You tried to defend yourself, even if you were lost in your thoughts for the last 10 minutes. Remus gave you un unimpressed look as if trying to tell you that he knew you were lying.

“You were just staring at the page for Merlin knows how long, you can’t fool me, darling.” You were sure that the pet names, that each of the marauders gave you would be the end of you yet you would probably really die if they stopped with them.

“Maybe I’m just really interested in this page,” you tried once again, but you knew you were doomed. “Pff, even Moony doesn’t stare that long at a page when it’s interesting. What’s on your mind, hm?” James joined the conversation, ditching his homework.

“This Slytherin boy I’ve been seeing wants to take things to the next level,” you admitted, thinking about the conversation you had this morning. Sirius raised his head, that was comfortably in Remus’ lap, suddenly intrigued in the conversation as well. All 3 pairs of eyes were on you, all of them having a different emotion in them. You squirmed in the silence, hoping one of them would break the silence. After a few seconds Sirius was the first to speak.

“Who was it again? So I can break his face the next time I see him.” You blinked at him, surprised by his violent tendencies. You didn’t know what kind of reaction you expected, but it definitely wasn’t this. Not knowing what to say you just stared at him, but thankfully Remus came to your aid.

“Come on, Pads. Maybe Y/n wants to take things to the next level and I’m pretty sure broken bones would kind of ruin that.” He scolded the raven haired boy, but gave you a curious glance, wondering what was your answer.

“I told him I’d think about it, but I don’t really know what I should tell him. He’s nice and everything, but I feel absolutely nothing when I’m with him,” you answered the unsaid question of all three boys. “Good.” was the immediate answer from Sirius, but James jumped in before he could say anything else. “Is that what’s bothering you, sweets? If you don’t want to be with him, just say it.” He took you hand, when he notices you picking on your nails, a nasty habit you did whenever you were nervous.

It took you a second before answering, looking at yours and James’ joined hands.

“I guess I just expected more, ya know? When he first asked me out, I think I said yes just because I was so surprised anyone would find me attractive or interesting enough to want to go out with, especially someone I just met on hallways and saw in the common room, someone who didn’t know me and I was so eager to go with him because I was hoping I’d finally find someone I could be really happy with. Feel the butterflies and the love and all that shit but that didn’t happen. I don’t feel anything when I’m with him and I don’t know what to do now that I know it’s not what I hoped for.” You were quiet for a second, the boys not interrupting you. They knew you and knew you had more to say.

“But maybe I should be his girlfriend, take things to the next level. So what if it’s not like what I dreamed of, we can’t always have what we want and it’d nice to be someone’s girlfriend. Be with someone who cares about you is always nice, am I right? It could also help me stop feeling like a fourth wheel whenever we hang out and you’re acting all coupley while I’m just kind of there.” You spilled how you felt without being able to stop yourself. Was it the best choice? Maybe not, but you really needed to talk to someone about your feelings and you trusted them and knew they would never judge you.

“Surprised anyone would find you attractive enough? When was the last time you looked into a mirror, pet? Your are by far the most gorgeous girl in Hogwarts. But don’t be fooled, we don’t hang out with you for your looks, but because of how you make us feel. How you make us laugh when we’re sad, how you take care of us and do everything you think we might need, because of how amazing you and your personality is. Everybody would be proud to call you theirs. I’m actually surprised it took this long for someone to ask you out. I would have done it ages ago if I knew I’d stood a chance.” You lifted your head to look at Sirius, finding him looking at you in disbelief. You were definitely surprised by his words. You felt warmth spreading inside you body, thinking about his words. I would have done it ages ago if I knew I’d stood a chance, what did he mean by that? But before you could ask, Remus continued Sirius’ speech.

“Being with someone just to not be alone isn’t really a healthy thing, love. I’m not saying you shouldn’t be with this guy, do whatever you want, you are your own person and no one can tell you what do. I’m just saying that you shouldn’t waste your time dating someone you don’t feel any connection with. If you want butterflies, go find someone who makes you feel butterflies. You deserve so much more than to be with some bloke who doesn’t meet your expectations. Don’t lower your standards for anyone. And we never, ever wanted to make you feel like a fourth wheel, and we’re really sorry we did, love. If you’d feel more comfortable, we could stop acting all coupley, as you’ve put it, and be much less PDA with you. Whatever makes you happy and feeling the most comfortable with us.” Even tho he tried to mask it, you could see the hurt on his face and hear it in his voice. You didn’t think that your words would hurt them, that was the last thing you wanted.

“Listen to me and listen carefully, can you do that, sweetheart? I always thought that being with Lily would make me the happiest man in the world, that’s why I was trying so hard to get together with her. But when it finally happened I wasn’t happy. I tried so hard to love her, but I realized that I never did, I just loved the idea of her loving me. I wanted the same thing you want now. Everyday I saw how Pads and Moony are in love and I wanted that, just not with Lily, as I’ve come to realize. We were both unhappy so why should we stay together? Breaking up with her was the best thing ever, because it led her to be with Mary and I found my way to my boys. And let me tell you, being with them is the happiest I could ever be. And with you by our side. If you don’t feel happy, don’t waste your time with him. You may thing that it’s gonna be okay and you’ll find what you want, but it’s only gonna leave you miserable in the end,” James added.

You tried to wrap your head around everything what was said, but it left you confused. You knew you didn’t want to be with the Slytherin boy, you wanted to be part of the relationship these boys had, but you knew it wouldn’t be possible. But maybe they were right and being in a relationship just to be in one was stupid.

“I never want you to start acting differently or hide your relationship around me That’s the last thing I want and I’m sorry if it came out like I did. I love seeing you all in love, I really do. I feel the most comfortable when you are being yourselves, so please don’t ever change that,” you started to explain. You knew that if you didn’t say anything now, you never would. “I guess I’m just a little jealous that I could never be part of the love you share, you know? I think I want to be with someone so bad so I would stop feeling the need to be with you. Everyday I see how happy you are and I feel jealous because I know I’m not the reason you are happy. I stared something with this boy because I was hoping it would make these feeling stop, but if anything it has gotten worse. Every time he did something, the only thing I could think about was that you would do it differently,” you ended your speech, feeling nervous about what they would say. Would they reject you? Make fun of you? They would never do that told you the voice in you head and you knew it was right, you just didn’t know what to expect now.

“Then let us. Let us treat you like royalty, like you deserve. Let us love you like you deserve, let us be yours and let yourself be ours. Let us take you out and show you what love is supposed to feel like. Please, just let us, pet,” Sirius almost begged. You looked at him in surprise once again, and saw nothing but determination and love in his eyes. He really means it. You looked at the other two boys and found the exact same expression. You wanted to respond so bad but the only thing that you were able to say was just a soft what?

“We’ve talked about this quite a long time ago, we just didn’t know what to do,” James stared to explain. “We weren’t sure if you felt the same way and we didn’t want to ruin what we have now. But we’ve fallen, sweetheart. We fell so hard for you, you had us wrapped around your finger from the beginning and you didn’t even know it.” James gave you a small, almost shy smile.

“We knew that it could be weird, especially when we’re already in a relationship, but if you want us, love, we are yours and always have been. Be ours as well?” Remus finished for him. All of them waiting impatiently for your response. You couldn’t believe what you were hearing. You blinked a few times to wake up, but it wasn’t a dream. Actually, it was a dream comes true. You always wanted to hear them say they want you the same way you wanted them. A huge smile formed on your face

“I am yours, always will be.”

Your newfound relationship was the talk of the school for days to come, but the three Gryffindor golden boys didn’t seem to care. About the rumors, about you being a Slytherin, about anything really. If anything, they were proud that the whole school talked about them. Talked about you being with them. Everything was finally how it should be and none of you couldn’t be happier.

#poly!marauders x reader #marauders era #marauders fluff #the marauders #poly!marauders x you #poly!marauders x y/n #poly!marauders x Slytherin!reader #remus x sirius #Remus x Sirius x James x you #harry potter #marauders fanfiction #poly marauders fluff #fluff #young marauders #sirius black x you #james potter x you #remus lupin x you #marauders x y/n #y/n

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propertyofwhitney67 · 2 months

Text

Not So Bad

M!Whitney x AFAB!Reader

TW: smut, breeding kink, lying about being on birth control, smoking

Words: 600

Note: Based on Vrel’s answer that Whitney would dislike breeding kink at first. Also this ask gave me the inspo to keep writing this.

Thank you guys so much for 400 followers!! <3

“No.” Whitney angrily answered, tired of me asking him. He took a drag of his cigarette and blew the smoke toward me. Despite his irritation, I could see lust in his eyes.

I waved the smoke away, “Oh come on, it’ll be fun.” I tried convincing him. I’ve been at it for a while, hoping to whittle down his resolve. “I’m on birth control.” I certainly wasn’t, but that’s part of the fun.

“Of course you are, you’re a slut.” He rolled his eyes but thought it over, “Fine.” He put his cigarette out in the ashtray on his bedside table before pushing me down on the bed and making out with me, he tasted of nicotine.

I gasped as I felt him reach under my shirt, groping my chest. “Whitney…” I mumbled against his lips.

“Shut up.” He bit my lip and pulled back, pulling my shirt over my head and throwing it aside. “That’s better.” He smirked and cupped my breast, “Maybe I should breed you, you’d be hot knocked up with my kid.”

I felt my body heat up at his words, I want nothing more than to be bred by him. I whined lowly and reached for his sweatpants, “Please…” I was weak for him.

He grabbed my hands and pinned me to the bed, “Impatient slut.” I huffed, pouting like a child. “Keep that up and you get nothing.” I scrunched my nose but nodded, “Good.” He released his grip, trailing his hands down my body before stopping at my waist. He rubbed circles on my hip before pulling down my pants and underwear in one movement, revealing my wet cunt.

I moaned as he brushed his thumb over my clit, “Whitney, please…” I begged him, just wanting him to fuck me already. “I need you.”

“I know.” He smirked cockily and continued rubbing slow circles on my clit, taking his sweet time and drawing it out.

I was at the edge of climaxing when he stopped, “Why?” I whined and threw my head back on the bed.

“Be grateful for what I give you, slut.” He smirked and pulled down his pants revealing his hard cock, precum beading at the tip, “Only a slut like you would want to be bred.”

“You want it too.” I said teasingly, “You can’t lie to me.”

Without warning he thrusted deep in me, “You don’t know shit.” He didn’t bother waiting for me to adjust, “Fucking slut…” He grunted between thrusts.

I dug my nails into his back, “Shut up and breed me.”

He all but growled, “Oh, I’ll fucking breed you.” He quickly put me into a mating press, causing me to gasp and moan. He set a fast pace, seemingly lost in the heat of the moment. Forgetting all his qualms about breeding me. The sound of skin, grunts, and moans were the only sounds heard as he furiously fucked me.

He’d already pulled three from me but I could feel another orgasm fast approaching. “Whitney!”

“That’s right, scream my name.” He grunted and with one last thrust he came inside me again.

He rested his head against my forehead as he slowly let my legs go. I was sore and my legs were probably bruised but it was well worth it. “See? Not so bad.”

“You lied, didn’t you?” He said as if he already knew the answer to his question.

At least he didn’t sound mad, I thought as I chuckled and nodded. “I did.”

He smirked and kissed me, “Fucking slut…my slut.” He whispered the last part but I heard him perfectly.

𝘔𝘢𝘴𝘵𝘦𝘳𝘭𝘪𝘴𝘵

𝘒𝘰-𝘍𝘪

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floweroflaurelin · 11 months

Text

~Chill Minecraft Tunes to Write Your Archaeology Thesis To~

—

Thanks so much for your help in populating Pix’s office! This is one of the more involved shots from the animatic I’ve been working on and I wanted to pack it with as many details as possible. Any suggestions that didn’t make it into this shot will probably end up in the one set in the Museum!

I painted most of this in the airport on my way to meet up in person with the other mods of @mcytblrsexymen — spent a weekend touring museums and hanging out with @/theminecraftbee, @/magicalmanhattanproject, and like a dozen more tumblr friends and mutuals 😆 It was my first time in the USA! I got my purse stolen and lost all my IDs and money and my epipen! (My first mistake was being too gay in the Smashburger, it’s a long story. It’s okay though, I’m getting things replaced now that I’m back in Canada ✨🇨🇦)

But yeah, I had a ton of fun on the trip and on this painting! Peek under the cut for a full list of the all the Pixlriffs-related Easter eggs I crammed in :P

Easter eggs:

- His classic striped jumper

- Singing fish that’s a cod

- Neptune the ghost cat

- Candle from the Vigil

- Mezalean urn

- Skulk sample that’s escaped containment

- Winchester figurine

- Toy Sheriff

- Lizzie’s Ocean Orb

- Four blue books in his stripes’ pattern

- Survival Guides vol. 1 through 3 on the shelf

- Currently hidden behind him is a framed selfie of ZloyXP

- History and Law degrees on the wall

- Diamond pickaxe

- The guitar from his stream background

- My Saint Pearl painting ^_^

- Copper lamp

- Mug of tea

- Celery growing on the desk (reference to his partner)

—

Also one more bonus for you, I made my own sexyman merch to wear on the trip because, as the designer, I have that power ;)

Photo taken by @/antimony-medusa 📸

#pixlriffs #empires smp #empires pixlriffs #empiresblr #empires smp fanart #empires fanart #pixlriffs fanart #floweroflaurelin art #wip #my face #mcytblr #mcyt #mcyt fanart #fun fact the earrings I’m wearing in the picture were in the purse when it got stolen so I don’t have them anymore 🙃#I say fun fact as though travelling internationally with no ID or credit card or epipen wasn’t the most stressful thing I’ve ever done lol #hanging out w my internet friends irl was SUCH an amazing time though ahh #miss you guys <3

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sp4cepunisher · 2 years

Text

dress [ e. williams ]

summary ; ellie loves to see you in your dress, almost as much as she loves seeing you out of it.

warnings ; 18+ themes, minors dni ! pure smut, top!ellie x bottom!reader. very strong language, explicit depictions of sexual intercourse [ reader receiving; fingering ] + semi-public sex basically ellie can’t stop looking at you and fantasising about you because you’re just so fucking hot and you can’t help but do the same because she looks so good in her suit sooo she fucks you in the bathroom at a party!!!

author’s note ; buckle yourselves in, folks! because… *evil little smirk* this is one hell of a raunchy piece of gay, smutty smut. it’s like, a great mix of romantic and dirty and just brimful of all the good stuff! thank you so much to the anon who requested this because it’s actually my first piece of full smut since my return! so! i hope i haven’t lost my sparkle! + if i’ve forgotten to feature any warnings above which you think should be included, (as always) pleeeease let me know! also, like... half way? three quarters of the way? through writing this i became very aware of the fact that it was aaactually supposed to be more of a make love kind of narrative, buuut i got way too wrapped up in the idea of the reader’s dress, which then unfolded into pure smut whiiich then just... became a super raunchy desperate bathroom situation and.... *scratches my head* uuuh.... yeah! i hope that’s cool with you because there isn’t much i can do about it, now! *blows you all the biggest, fattest kiss ever* okay, i thiiink that’s it from me! enjoy this you sick, twisted little fucks!!! (jk i love u we’re sick + twisted together<3)

. . .

ellie wasn’t particularly fond of parties.

sure, she enjoyed a drink. to a certain extent, she liked to mingle. and yeah, she enjoyed music (that being said, it had to be good music). but ellie’s favourite part about any party was when she was able to attend with you, like tonight; adorned in a dress you had found in the back and beyond of your wardrobe; your features complimented by light makeup with a demeanour a little looser than usual, thanks to the one, two, three, four drinks which you had been sipping and cradling in your hand throughout the evening. you were shining; a golden statue amongst the other grey bodies; glowing like a household fire, and ellie was enamoured by the way in which she could practically see the happiness radiating from your every pore. making an appearance at dina’s birthday party hadn’t exactly been at the top of ellie’s to-do list, but the night actually hadn’t turned out to be as bad as she had anticipated. as far she was concerned, ellie would have been content in staying at the party all night if that meant being able to continue catching lucky glimpses of your upper thigh whenever you would sit down, or being able to admire the way your nipples would harden beneath the thin fabric of your dress whenever the cool summer breeze would make its way through the open door and kiss over your bare shoulders.

you were a little tipsy. probably more than your sober self would have cared to admit in any other circumstance, but right now you didn’t care. your veins were flooded with serotonin, head as light as air and body warm from the alcohol, which had been sliding down your throat like honeyed velvet far too easily that evening. you had actually felt happy; watching the birthday girl spinning around in admirers’ arms, but always finding her way back to jesse; content in remaining seated at one of the tables, you had been enjoying chatting to those who came and left the few seats beside you, catching up and sharing a few polite laughs. but what had made you the happiest was the feeling of a certain girl’s eyes fixed to the side of your head for what had seemed like hours, now. it had been hours. you knew that ellie preferred to remain at the sidelines at things like this— close enough to keep you in her eyeline, but far enough away to ensure that she didn’t have to mix with too many people, aside from those who would linger at the bar for a few minutes— but you could tell that the majority of her attention had been dedicated to you, and only you.

“hey, party girl!” a voice cut through your train of thought, and you knew that the person standing beside you was dina before you had even turned your head. there she was; a little sweaty from dancing but still looking as pretty as ever, chest rising and falling as she tried to catch her breath, a smile plastered to her face as you looked up at her. “y’wanna dance?”

“oh,” you shook your head insistently, eyebrows furrowing a little. “no, thanks. i’d end up on my ass if i danced, right now.”

“c’mo—n,” she reached for your hand, curling and uncurling her fingers as she silently willed you to place your hand in hers. “it’s my birthday. are you really gonna refuse me a dance?”

you sighed. it wasn’t just an excuse, although you didn’t love dancing in a room full of people. you really were too tipsy to remain content in your self-awareness. “dina. there are still like, twenty people out there who wanna dance with you.” you gestured towards the abundance of people that remained out on the floor.

“but there’s only one person who i wanna dance with, right now. buuut, she’s sitting right here, refusing me my wish, on my birthday!”

you rubbed your fingers across your forehead, eyes searching dina’s for even the tiniest glimpse of her giving up, but you weren’t sure you were going to get it. you couldn’t help but allow your gaze to drift over to the bar, eyes immediately finding ellie and lips curling up into a smile when you noticed the way in which her green eyes sparkled.

“cheers to another trip around the sun, dina! another year older and wiser, and yet, (y/n) still won’t dance with you!” dina’s gaze soon followed yours when she received no reply, her face immediately softening when she realised what— or rather, who— had grabbed your attention before she could continue guilt tripping you into making a fool out of yourself. “oooh, i see,” a smile was evident in her voice. “you’d rather sit here and stare at ellie all night, huh?”

you turned back to look at her, rolling your eyes. “actually, she’s been staring at me all night.”

dina laughed. you knew how much she loved you and ellie together. “okay, well. i guess i can’t exactly stand in the way of love-”

“oh my god, stop.”

“-but you owe me a dance next time, okay?”

not being entirely sure when “next time” would be, but realising that it was probably in your best interests to hold your tongue, since you were pretty sure you had — god knows how, because she was stubborn when she wanted to be — just managed to get out of dancing with dina, you simply nodded your head and smiled politely. “okay, dee.” you rested your chin on your fists as you propped your elbows up on the table. while you watched as she turned back around to regain her rightful position on the dancefloor, you hadn’t been aware of the sound of wooden chair legs raking across the oak flooring as the seat beside was pulled out.

“hey, you.”

the voice didn’t make you jump exactly, but it did take you by surprise to assume that someone else may actually want to be in your company. that was, of course, until your turned your head to put a name to the body in the chair and came to realise that it was ellie; dressed in the white button-down shirt that she had borrowed from jesse, (which was technically too big for her but which she made do with by tucking it into her trousers) and complimented by the contrasting black tie which you had secured around her neck a few hours earlier, after she had complained that she had “no fucking idea how to tie a stupid tie”. you knew that dina’s choice of dress code hadn’t thrilled ellie— she was the most comfortable in one of her old sweatshirts and a pair of her battered black jeans— but my god, did she look good in her make-shift suit. with half of her hair tied up into a messy bun at the back of her head and the other half barely brushing her shoulders, you couldn’t quite believe that she was all yours.

“hey,” you breathed, smile stretching over your features as soon as you were aware of a steady hand coming to rest on the small of your back, and you felt your girlfriend’s lips press a gentle kiss to your exposed shoulder.

“having a good night?” she whispered into your skin, the loose ends of her hair tickling your pores which caused goosebumps to rise up over the back of your neck.

“yeah, actually. it’s been fun. s’nice seeing dina so happy,” you nodded. “are you?”

ellie shrugged her shoulders gently, eyes making their way around the room momentarily but finding their way back to you with no problem. “yeah, i mean... i thought it was gonna be worse.”

you let your eyes drift over ellie’s features; having free rein over the sandy shore of her freckles and the glint in her tidal eyes, her auburn wisps framing them as if an art exhibition; she belonged in a museum. you were well aware of how much she regarded these kinds of events with disfavour, and knew how much she would have preferred spending the evening inside, alone, with you. “always the optimist, babe,” you teased her, lifting a hand from beneath your chin and using it to give her cotton-clad knee a squeeze; subtle in nature but obvious to your girlfriend in both reassurance and affection. “but, i am glad we came. i mean, look at her,” you reverted your attention back to dina, gaze softening as you watched her being swayed in jesse’s arms, still a magnet beneath every onlookers’ cobalt eyes. “she’s glowing.”

but ellie had no real desire to look at dina. not when she could look at you. her eyes were glued to you; wandering over the slope of your back, the dent of your spine nestled between your shoulder blades as if sculpted by god himself, and which she honestly believed she could litter with kisses until the sun came up. how the definition of your breastbone shone in the light, taunting her; almost beseeching her to drag her callused fingertips over the skin to bring about the inevitable goosebumps which would come decorate you like sequins. the way your delicate fingers wrapped themselves around your glass, lifting it from the table and bringing it to your lips, which appeared like two pristine rose petals; how your throat twitched as the alcohol disappeared and you swallowed it down so easily. “you’re even brighter,” she whispered, her words making themselves known to you before she had even really processed them; brisk in the way they launched themselves from her lips but weightless in the way they drifted down before your face. it was too late to stop them now. actually, she didn’t really want to stop them. “you look beautiful, tonight. have i told you that?”

you turned your head back to look at the girl beside you, your action soothed by the feeling of her hand travelling up the expanse of your back, tracing your spine with her thumb and allowing her fingers to follow closely behind. “only like, twenty times,” your comment evoked a certain glint in ellie’s eyes. “but, so do you.” you batted the compliment back, almost without missing a beat.

she scoffed. “please, i feel ridiculous.”

you shook your head insistently, dutch courage guiding your hand like a puppeteer and sliding it further up ellie’s thigh. you loved the feeling of the fabric against your fingertips, the roughness of the fibres contrasted with the sleekness of her skin hidden beneath them; the rise and fall of her muscle which felt like heaven to you, in that moment. “you shouldn’t,” your voice was lower now, just loud enough to still be heard by only ellie above the music. “you look so good.”

the solidity evident your words peaked ellie’s interest. sure, you had told her how well you thought she pulled the look off before you had arrived at the party together, but the most self-conscious parts of ellie had all rallied round to persuade the girl that you were simply just being nice. however, although she knew that you were a little more tipsy than usual, the look in your eyes seemed to ignite something in her; the need to argue her opinion until she was blue in the face evaporated when she noticed the earnest in your face and felt the way in which your thumb was rubbing gentle circles against her inner thigh. “well,” she leaned forward, tucking your hair behind your ear with her nimble fingers, but not before the side of her knuckle grazed against your neck. “that makes two of us, then.”

“oh, stop.”

“been looking at you all night.”

“mm, i know. felt your eyes on me.”

“can you blame me?”

“well, i could look at you in this suit forever,” you whispered, feeling yourself becoming bolder with every breath. “it’s like, made for you.”

“except it’s fuckin’ huge.” ellie grinned. “but, your dress? so perfect. you look so gorgeous,” her fingers slid over your collarbone and to the right, where they caressed the strap of your dress, skimming your skin in their wake. “don’t know which i’d rather see; you in the dress, or…” her eyes flicked back up to find yours, and you noticed that they were considerably darker than before. “you out of it.”

silk words, woven right before your eyes pulled on your brows and caused them to rise, top teeth tugging your bottom between them as an automatic response to the way her sultry words made you feel. the butterflies in your stomach were awoken, swarming in a pack and reaching your throat where you were at a loss for words for a good few seconds. the confidence in your previous comments had been snuffed out just by ellie’s eyes finding yours and the words she had uttered, for your ears only. it had always been easy for the girl to make you feel so small; so shy and yet so bold in your willingness to do anything for her if she asked.

“cat got your tongue?” she whispered, noticing the way in which she had silenced you and revelling in it while the pad of her index finger ran over your jaw. she observed the way the corners of your lips twitched with a shadow of a smile before you leaned a little closer to her, and she couldn’t help but let her gaze fall to the way in which the edge of your dress pulled away from your chest. the valley of supple skin between your breasts was almost calling for her; begging to be kissed and licked and sucked between her teeth, reddened and bruised and marked for a couple of days.

“no,” you bluffed, shrugging your shoulders as nonchalantly as you could manage to pass off. “i was just waiting for you to tell me which one you’d prefer.“

“how about i show you?”

. . .

a cacophony of sound; feet shuffling, the door locking, deep breaths and heavy sighs, filled the intimate space of the room which yourself and ellie soon found yourselves in. her provocative comment had caused you both to make quick work of rising from your seats at the table, your hand slotting into hers like second nature, and your underwear already becoming bedewed from beneath your skirt as she tugged you towards the washroom.

your head was spinning in the best way possible, partly thanks to the alcohol, but otherwise due to the adrenaline which was pulsing through your body like heroin. everything was a blur; everything except the features belonging to your girlfriend which rested just a mere few centimetres from your own face. kisses that were being pressed to your lips took a couple of seconds to be reciprocated, but which were soon accompanied by arms which snaked around your waist and pulled you from the wood of the door, flush against her body as the kisses deepened and soon became one messy, passionate, wordless conversation of shared i love you’s, i missed you’s, i want you’s. your body seemed to become utterly malleable in that moment, moulding into ellie’s like sand as her hips pushed into yours and her hands smoothed over the rise of your ass while yours slid over her shoulders and enjoyed the softness of her cotton shirt against your fingertips.

“mm,” she pulled away from the kiss, lips pink and pupils already blown out so much that her eyes— always so pretty in their viridescence— now seemed deeply sable. “been wanting to touch you all night,” her words were hot against the side of your face as she leaned in and pressed an open-mouthed kiss to your jaw, taking them down to your neck where she tasted your perfume on her tongue. you felt her fingers teasing the edge of your skirt, the pads of each digit gliding over the silky fabric and barely skimming the skin of your upper thighs.

“you’ve got me now,” you reassured her, head taking full advantage of the solidness of the door that it rested against. “all to yourself,”

your words caused the girl to smile. “oh, i know. i’m so lucky,” her lips spoke against your collarbone when she finally reached it, teeth grazing the prominent bone menacingly while her fingers toyed with the elastic hem on your underwear. “y’gonna let me touch you, baby?” ellie whispered again, lifting her head to catch your eyes in her darkened stare.

“yes, ellie,”

“mm? you want me to?”

her index fingers hooked around the waistband.

“god, yes,”

“say please,”

her thumb brushed over your veiled folds.

“please, ellie. please,”

your pristine manners, the breathiness of your voice, and the way in which she could almost feel how your cunt was throbbing beneath her touch caused any light that was still evident in ellie’s eyes to be blown out; totally snuffed in a mere couple of seconds. agile fingers pushed the thin piece of material aside while the open palm of her free hand trailed over your breasts, and you felt the cool pads of her digits begin rubbing circles on your clit; firm enough to make your body go stiff, but slow enough to ensure that she could gather all of your wetness.

“fuck, baby,” ellie sighed, eyes threatening to roll back just from the feel of you beneath her digits. “you’ve been wet for a while, huh?”

you nodded, head feeling weightless atop your shoulders as your girlfriend continued her exploration of your arousal.

“is that right? been wet for me all night?” her voice seemed quieter now as she leaned in closer to you, lips pressing against your shoulder in open-mouthed kisses.

you nodded your head again, eyelids heavy and chest beginning to rise and fall a little faster the moment you felt her fingers pick up beneath your skirt. “yes, oh my god,”

“mm, does that feel good?” ellie’s words were hot against your skin; almost scorching against your pulse as her lips began climbing the lustrous slope of your neck.

“feels so good,” you made sure to keep your voice down, the feeling of intense pleasure swarming your body not being quite enough to swipe your conscience completely clean of the fact that yourself and ellie were separated from the other residents of jackson only by a wooden barrier. “need you…”

“yeah? what do y’need me to do, sweet girl?”

the way in which ellie’s fingers were encircling your clit was beginning to make your knees wobble; you needed more, she knew you did. your body was trembling against hers like a newborn calf, your fingers gripping onto her shirt. “need you to fuck me,” you weren’t embarrassed to say it, nor were you too stubborn, which would certainly have been the case if the shoe had happened to be on the other foot. plus, you knew how much ellie enjoyed hearing you tell her what you wanted; how much it satisfied her every need alone, just to simply hear the words come out of your mouth. “please…”

the girl hummed, her middle and third finger parting to slide over your folds, which were both so deliciously slick with the wetness she had been enjoying only a few seconds earlier. she lifted her head from your shoulder, catching your gaze as best she could from behind your blissful expression and heavy eyes to soak up the desperation and ardour which resided in your irises. “i love you,” she whispered, leaning close enough to whisper against your lips. you remained quiet, the sound of your deep inhales and exhales being the only shadow of an answer that she received. that was when she decided to dip the very tip of her middle finger into your luscious hole, which she could already tell was flooded with your arousal in an attempt to prompt a real response from you. “do you love me, baby?”

you released a shaky breath, lips parting a little wider when you felt ellie ease her finger into you a little further, but still not enough to be fully satisfied. “yes,” you nodded, voice heavy but still quiet enough to remain undetected.

“yeah?” she was mocking you now, her finger dipping in and out of your hole at a snail’s pace; still not enough to relieve you. “say it,” your walls were in desperate need of something to tighten around, your wetness beginning to dampen your inner thighs as your girlfriend taunted you, her free hand coming to slide one strap of your dress down your arm, then another. pulling the material from over your breasts, her eyes trailed over the way your pebbled nipples protruded from the silken skin, and the prepossessing fullness of your tits. “c’mon. tell me you fucking love me, pretty girl.”

“i love you,” you breathed, and that seemed to be music to ellie’s ears; the music she had been yearning to hear all night, and enough to finally make her sink her finger into you completely. you instinctively gripped onto her shoulder at the sensation, eyes turning to the ceiling and lips parting to let out a breathy moan as you felt the callused pad of her digit skim over your walls. she was easing you open, just like she always loved to do, while her thumb took its time in smoothing over your nipples with ease. you could already feel your feet threatening to slip out from under, and therefore you kept one hand clamped on ellie’s shoulder in a vice-like grasp, while the other remained tucked behind your back; palm open and desperate in its search for a solid grip on the wood.

your girlfriend teased the outer edge of your hole with a second finger. "mmm,” ellie’s voice vibrated over the expanse of your chest as she littered the rise of your breasts with sloppy kisses, tongue wetting the skin unapologetically. “you feel so fucking good, baby,” the warmth of her breath blew over your hardened nipples, and you felt your back begin to arch from each of the simultaneous sensations which were now ricocheting throughout your body like bullets; one, after the other, after the other. it was then that you felt your nipple become swathed by the flick of ellie’s tongue; then, the sheathing of her lips, and with a subtle curl of her finger, your back started arching off of the door when you felt her push a second digit inside you.

“oh, fuck,” you gasped, arm coming across to drape itself around both of ellie’s shoulder and your nails digging into her bicep through her shirt. she wasn’t going easy on you now, either; both fingers crescent moons, and already pushing against the sponginess of your g-spot like it was nothing. finally finishing her gentle assault on your breasts, she lifted her head and admired the way in which your eyes had fallen closed, jaw having falling slack and your eyebrows furrowed in pleasure.

“you like that? like it when you can feel me nice ‘nd deep, sweet girl?”

“ye–es, fuck... ellie,”

“sound so pretty when you say my name,” oh, she was getting comfortable, now. “always love hearing it, baby...” ellie knew you were teetering on the edge of an orgasm; clinging onto the last sliver of sanity which barely remained, and so she was tactical in the bending of her thumb and its newfound position on your clit. the obscene squelching which could be heard from beneath your skirt made you bite down on your lip in your best attempt to hold back your moans, and made ellie grin against your jaw as she came to rest her face in the crook of your neck. “oh, fuck yeah,”

the noticeable tightness of your cunt, on top of the incessant pleasure she was supplying to your every nerve through the rhythmic movements of her fingers was threatening to let you down; lungs swelling with the need to cry out from how close you were getting to reaching orgasm. ellie could sense it. she had noticed the way in which your knees had began to buckle and how your spine had curved, body slumped against the door as if you were fully prepared to give it all up. with her gentle words of encouragement being pressed into your neck as if she intended to make them stain, the brunette made quick work of snaking her arm around your waist to hold you up, her grip firm, yet somehow, so gentle, as you reached the great peak of your entirely euphoric, entirely secret, little meeting.

“ellie,” you panted, her name almost totally lost on your lips from beneath the breathy moans that followed. “oh my god. p–please don’t stop, please don’t fucking stop, baby,”

you felt ellie moan into the side of your neck, her thumb brushing over your swollen clit where it began to rub small, firm circles again. “yeah? are you gonna cum?”

“fuck, fuck, fuck, yes,”

her fingers sped up, plunging in and out of your soaking cunt, desperate to earn her prize. “cum for me, pretty girl. i’ve got you, c’mon. i’ve got you,” the way in which the girl coaxed you through the pleasure— disregarding the gibberish which followed your previous coherence, yet making sure to savour every syllable— only made your orgasm more intense. your walls spasmed around ellie’s fingers, eyes rolling back into your head and lips pressed tightly together to muffle the moans which rose up in your throat and threatened to crash straight through them, like a tsunami past a floodgate. your orgasm washed over you; intense and merciless, rendering you stone-cold sober yet disorienting you like a concussion, and with no room for anything other than a ripple in your abdomen, and the absolute soaking of ellie’s hand.

your girlfriend could feel your pulse through your neck, thumping against her face, her skin practically burning from the warmth that was radiating from your body as it remained flush against hers; rendered totally rigid only a few minutes ago, but now falling limp and docile. she couldn’t help but moan into your neck when she slowed her movements enough to feel the stickiness that coated her fingers, her palm, her fucking wrist at this point. she made sure to slide her fingers out of you with conscious and noticeable care, her other hand soon reaching down to slip your underwear back into its original position over the top of your heat. once your grip had loosened from around ellie’s shoulder, and she was content in the sturdiness of your stance upon letting go of your waist, the two of you shared a smile; ellie’s accompanied by eyes which were evidently florescent, and yours through heavy lids.

“good?”

“mm,” you nodded. “always so good,”

your girlfriend leaned in and smiled, capturing your lips in a kiss which was rich in love and reassurance, and which you were quick to return. “good,” she whispered once the two of you had pulled away. “i don’t know how the hell you stayed so quiet, though.”

you grinned, cheeks turning a gentle shade of pink as ellie pushed your hair back from your face. “well, i mean... i’d rather dina remember tonight for reasons other than what we got up to in the bathroom, y’know.”

ellie nodded her head, watching as you slipped the straps of your dress back over your shoulders and smoothed down your skirt. her eyes were full of adoration, pupils still twinkling in the dim light of the room as she took a moment to just look at you. somehow, you looked more beautiful in that moment than you had looked all night, if that was even possible; your eyelids still weighty, skin abundant with that particular kind of glow and your lips slightly reddened. “i love you,” she reminded you, lifting your chin between her thumb and index finger. “a lot.”

“and i love you,”

“even in this stupid suit?”

“oh,” you nodded, biting back a smirk. “especially in that stupid suit.”

#ellie williams x reader #ellie williams x you #ellie williams x female reader #ellie williams fanfiction #ellie williams smut #ellie williams the last of us #ellie the last of us #ellie williams #ellie williams fanfic #tlou 2 fanfic #the last of us fanfic #the last of us fanfiction #the last of us 2 fanfiction #tlou 2

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thelaughtercafe · 3 months

Text

Abandoned

Tea Type: Milk Tea

Potential Triggers: Struggling with eating in an anorexic manner as well as intentional sleep deprivation and self care in general.

Pairing: Daryl/F! Reader (Can be read platonic)

Length: 2.4k+

Summary: Daryl leaves, and by the time he comes home you've completely stopped taking care of yourself, much to his upset. He comforts and helps you get back on the right track.

A/N: Me? Writing more self-indulgent comfort about struggling with eating, sleep and self care? It’s more likely than you think! Also maybe I’ve binged nearly 3 whole seasons of The Walking Dead and fell in love with Daryl again. That probably didn’t help. This is just pure fluff and hurt/comfort!

When Rick and the others returned, your eyes scanned them all instinctively for injuries and when you didn’t see him, you swallowed hard.

“…Where is he?”

Your voice cracked as you looked to Carol and she gave you a watery smile of her own.

“He left. Found Merle and made his choice.”

Her voice was gentle and understanding but all you felt was abandoned and cold and angry. A rare emotion for you to feel at your family. When she went to move forward and put a hand on your shoulder you cringed and hugged yourself instead.

Your heart-broken gaze moved to Rick.

“No. You-you just let him leave?! How could you?”

“We didn’t have a choice. He was gonna bring Merle back-”

“So you just abandoned him?! Let him leave? After everything we’ve been through? Everything he’s done for us?!”

Tears streamed freely down both cheeks and you moved to storm out of the metal gates when Glenn stopped you with a hand on your upper arm.

“Where do you think you’re going?”

You roughly pulled away and leveled a glare his way.

“Get off me! You all might be fine with abandoning him to die with his brother, just the two of them out there, but I’m not. I’d rather take my chances with someone I know will be loyal.”

You whirled to look at the whole group, angrily wiping away your tears.

“Y'know what? Merle was a dick. He was rude, and crass and didn’t care about anyone but his brother. He could be monstrous and I’m not negating that. But don’t forget that Daryl was different too in the beginning, before we gave him the chance to change. And even if Merle didn’t- even if he was still a jerk who put himself before others- I trust Daryl enough to adapt and be loyal to us both. To try and help his brother change. I thought you all would too.”

When you moved to the gate you frowned as Carol blocked the way glare weakening to upset.

“…Please, move Carol. I have to do this.”

“Do what? Get yourself killed? Starve to death as you search for them like needles in a haystack? I may have lost him but I am not losing you too. And he’d never want you to go out there and put yourself at risk. He’d never forgive any of us if we let you leave. Deep down, I think you know that.”

You stared one another down before giving a bitter, watery laugh.

“Guess we’ll never know what he would think now, would we? Whatever. I’ll be in my cell if anyone needs me.”

—–

The following days were beyond painful. You found yourself constantly looking for him on instinct, used to his grounding presence just a ways in front or back of you, the way he’d mumble quips under his breath that made you smile, blush or laugh. You missed your late night talks. Remember as you’d warmed up to him. Told him “Ohana means family. Family means no-one gets left behind.” You recalled the way he’d smirked a little and nudged you with a mumbled. “What are you, 5?” You’d gone on to defend Lilo and Stitch and nudged him back with a playful smile. It had been cold that night and he’d wrapped his arms around you, made you feel safe.

And now, you’d never felt more vulnerable and isolated. You understood what he felt like at the start. Everyone looked at you like you were a wild animal, something to be pitied that could lash out at any time.

Luckily Beth and Glenn had finally given up, but Carol was persistent. You walked around the prison on patrol, her right at your back.

“Please, eat something at least, if you won’t sleep. It’s been days. Daryl wouldn’t want you to-”

“Would you stop saying that? I already told you. I’ll eat and sleep when he’s back, not a second sooner.”

“You’re acting like a child!”

Your eyes flared as you turned to her, though your expression remained cool.

“Well maybe I finally got tired being the mature one all the time. I’m still doing my part, helping everyone else. Just stop caring. Clearly it’s easy enough for everyone else to.”

Aaron joined you both as you were turning to leave when suddenly gunfire rang out, making you drop and pull Carol down with you instinctively. Aaron fell suddenly and you gasped as you saw he’d been shot in the head. Carol’s face grew steely as she positioned the body in front of you both, holding you to her tightly. Thankfully your tiny frame was easily covered.

“You stay still and you don’t move alright?”

Carol’s voice was shaky as you heard shouts ring out all around you. Are you being attacked? You hated that even now you still shook from adrenaline and fear. You heard Maggie cry out as she provided cover fire.

“Carol, take her and go!!”

You both jumped up and rushed over to where you could see Beth and Carl, grabbing guns.

A car could be heard speeding and you took the time to catch your breath as you watched in anxious horror as walkers came out of the back, hordes of them. Your mind raced, trying to figure out where everyone else was. You could all be together and deal with the threat.

You did not want to lose anyone else.

In the distance you saw Glenn and Michonne helping what looked like Hershel thank God and when they pulled up you hugged them all, quickly thinking of who else was left. Rick. Where the Hell was Rick?

You asked Hershel as much and he reassured you.

“Calm down. I saw him, he’s gonna be alright.”

He looked towards the others.

“…He’s not alone. Daryl and his brother are back. Look.”

He raised his chin behind you and you sighed in immeasurable relief at the sight. Thank God. Your core family was still together.

You all gathered and some slept while others spoke quietly in the night. You couldn’t even look at Daryl. Not yet. You didn’t want to break; not when the situation was so precarious.

Once morning came discussions began in earnest on what to do. Some wanted to leave, others wanting to stay. Rick went to leave again and Hershel finally snapped, understandably so.

When Rick returned he began allocating and you sighed as Glenn spoke up, mind racing as you tried to think of the best course of action.

“There’s barely any food or ammo.”

Daryl mumbled back.

“Been there before. We’ll be alright.”

“That was when it was just us. Before there was a snake in the nest.”

You frowned.

“Man we gonna go through this again? Look, Merle’s staying here. He’s with us now. Get used to it. All y'all.”

He stormed off as Rick tried to stop him, heading to the second floor.

You watched the group debate.

You understood both perspectives, you really did. But with a final glance around at the others, you knew where you stood, deciding to voice it when Glenn asked a dangerous question.

“Deliver Merle to the governor. Bargaining chip. Give him his traitor, maybe declare a truce.”

You moved to glare up at him, knowing he was hurting and trying to temper your instinct; protectiveness and annoyance.

“No-one’s saying you have to like the guy or forgive him, Glenn. But think about Daryl. For once. He’s done so much for us without asking for anything in return. The least we can do is offer his family a place here.”

You scoffed as you moved to go to your cell.

“At the very least, he certainly deserves better than you talking about killing his brother in cold blood behind his back."

"Like he wouldn’t throw you to the Walkers to get away the first chance he got.”

You paused at Glenn’s hiss, before looking behind your shoulder at him, ignoring the dizziness that was making you lightheaded.

“You’re probably right. But I also know Daryl would put his life on the line to protect me from that same Walker. That’s the difference. I know why you feel the way you do, and I am truly sorry for what you and Maggie both went through. But Daryl? He’s worth more to me than revenge you think will make you feel better. And deep down I think you feel that way too.”

You walked away before he could say anything more and headed up to see Daryl. You were safe for now, and you couldn’t wait any longer.

He was waiting on his bed, fiddling with his arrows. You took a shaky breath to try and steel yourself but when you opened your mouth his eyes abruptly cut to you.

“When was the last time you ate or slept?”

You winced and looked away, mouth closing as you’d gone quiet. You swallowed nervously.

“…haven’t since you left.”

“‘Scuse me?!”

You looked back at him when his voice rose and saw the anger in his eyes.

“The Hell you mean you ain’t ate or slept since I left? It’s been 4 days now.”

“It doesn’t matter, I’ll do it now okay so just-”

You turned to leave, cheeks burning in humiliation at your secret being out but looked back as rough calloused fingers curled around your arm.

“Like Hell it don’t matter! Look at me!”

You met his eyes and your tears finally fell as you did so. The aggressive tone was a bit triggering, but you and him both knew you wouldn’t have broken down like you needed to otherwise.

“I’m sorry okay!? I didn’t want you to know, I thought-I just…”

You used your free hand to cover your mouth as you sobbed.

“I didn’t want to live in a world you weren’t here with me! They wouldn’t let me go find you so I just- I just shut down. It was good anyway, Carl’s a growing kid and I’d rather my portion be used to help the others than go to waste. It was a good thing!”

Your voice cracked and you looked away to try and gather yourself when Daryl gently guided your face back to look him in the eye.

“You sacrificin’ yourself while spiraling ain't a good thing. I promise I won’t leave like that again. An’ if I ever did, I’d come back for ya. But that means ya gotta take care of yourself. Not worry the others. Beth told me, soon as I got in. Told me you was bein’ a damn fool and to get some sustenance and sleep in ya.”

You gave a watery laugh at that and moved to hug him, hiding your face in his neck and taking comfort in the warmth and solidness of him.

“Should’ve known she’d tell you. Between her and Carol it was getting pretty difficult. Pretty sure Carol was just gonna start force-feeding me soon.”

His husky chuckle made you melt further into him but he sighed and pulled back, raising his chin toward the 1rst floor.

“She must’ve got her stubborn streak from watchin’ you. Now, get some food first before you doze off, you can eat it here with me and then you’re going the Hell to bed. Y'know I’ll wake you soon as anything happens.”

You blushed at the embarrassing question you wanted to ask but he beat you to it, fingers running through your hair in the familiar way he did when you’d have a nightmare or insomnia before he left.

“Obviously I’ll be right by your side. You ain’t the only one who was strugglin’. Kept looking over my shoulder to make sure you were alright. I want you in my sight. 'Specially knowing what stupid shit you’ll do if separated from me again.”

You smiled at the fondness in his tone and pulled away to go get food. The dizziness was getting worse so you grabbed an apple and called it good as you trucked up the stairs again to his room.

He frowned a bit at the small portion but sighed in defeat after a moment from where he was back on the bottom bunk.

“Apple for now is fine, it’s probably best you get your stomach used to food again anyhow.”

You forced the apple down despite your lack of hunger since Daryl was back. That was what you’d promised Carol. You didn’t want anyone to worry about you anymore. You’d been selfish enough. Clearly you weren’t as slick as you thought if both Beth and Carol had caught on.

When you finished it down to the core he moved over to make a small space for you to cuddle into, eyes still locked on his arrow. You couldn’t stifle your smile and moved to make yourself comfortable. Wall at your back and Daryl at your right it felt like you could breathe again and you couldn’t help your yawn at the familiar position.

“Here. I doubt you’ll need if since you’re so tired but it never hurts.”

His voice was gruff but you saw the intimacy of the action as he tossed his familiar leather jacket over you, knowing you slept infinitely better with a blanket.

“You can use me as a pillow too, if ya need. I’m not goin’ anywhere.”

You relaxed completely and let yourself feel safe and contented as you snuggled into his shoulder and neck. The warmth emanating from him was already making you drift off and the dizziness was fading.

“Thanks for not leaving me. Sorry for being stupid and selfish and… like a child.”

He chuckled at that and moved one of his arms to circle you and pull you closer, ruffling your hair before continuing to play with it.

“S'fine. Everyone’s warranted a temper tantrum now and then. Just don’ make a habit of it or I’ll have to smack ya upside the head good.”

“Yeah, right. A big…softie like you?”

You stifled another yawn.

“Doubt it.”

He smiled and you blissfully passed into unconsciousness. He looked up as Carol leaned against the doorway, a wry smile on her face.

“Haven’t had a chance to say. I’m glad you came back.”

He scoffed a little.

“To what? All this?”

Carol came to sit down, voice quiet but clear.

“This is our home.”

He met her eyes meaningfully.

“This is a tomb.”

“That’s what T-Dog called it. Thought he was right…till you found me.”

Her voice was somber but gentle.

“He’s your brother, but he’s not good for you. Don’t let him bring you down. After all, look how far you’ve come.”

Her eyes moved to you sleeping soundly against him in meaning and he looked away a moment before looking back as they shared a chuckle.

#tlc: milk tea #daryl dixon x you #daryl x you #daryl dixon x reader #daryl x reader #tlc: fic #female reader #the walking dead fic #the walking dead x reader

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madi-writes-things · 30 days

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Nobody Pt. 6

(C.Sturniolo X Reader)

Summary:

Chris and Y/N never seemed to get along, but sometimes help comes from the most unexpected places

Word Count: 1,318

TW:MASSIVE WARNINGS FOR THIS CHAPTER!!! (TAKE CARE OF YOURSELF, MY WRITING IS NOT WORTH YOUR HEALTH), Cursing, SH (not in detail, but it is talked about), Blood, Panic Attacks, Hurt Comfort, SUI ATTEMPT, Crying, Really Depressing, lots of POV swaps, Not Edited

A/N: Thank you for all of the support that I’ve been getting for this story, this chapter is really heavy… PROCEED WITH CAUTION. Please do not read if it will negatively impact your health, this story on tumblr is not worth it. I’ll put a brief summary at the beginning of the next chapter, for those who need to skip. This is probably the worst that it will get. Love you guys so much 🥰

-Madi <3

“”“”“”“”“”

Y/N’s POV

I woke up to Chris wrapped around my waist, just like I had for the last seven months. I don’t know how much longer I can handle this facade, but I also don’t know if I can let it go. The worst part is that I can’t even vent to my best friend, seeing as he is the cause of this whole situation. I stare down at Chris, his hair is so soft. I feel the burn of tears in my eyes, trying best to stop them from falling. Failing miserably.

My sniffles cause Chris’s to lift his head up to look at me. “What’s wrong?” I tell him it’s nothing, not a big deal. I can tell he doesn’t believe me, he sits up looking deep into my eyes. “You can tell me anything Y/N, you don’t need to feel embarrassed or anything.” I just cry harder. He pulls me into his lap, wrapping his arms tightly around me as I burrow my face into his shoulders.

we stay like that for an indeterminate amount of time. I cry until I physically can’t anymore, Chris doesn’t make me explain myself.

“”“”“”“”“”

Chris’s POV

I barely sleep anymore.

Y/N has been drifting away for months now, and it scares the shit out of me. I’m scared that if I fall asleep she’ll sneak past me and relapse. I can’t imagine what I would do if I lost her, I don’t know who I would be.

I’m scared to leave her alone, to the point that I don’t even want to leave her to go film with my brothers. The fans have commented on how many videos we’ve made at our house, rather than our usual car videos. I just tell Matt and Nick that I feel bad leaving her alone without us.

I knew it was a mistake to leave her alone tonight, but the fans were getting suspicious. We made the decision not to tell the fans, since we didn’t plan for this charade to go on for so long. I don’t know if I can end it, I’m too in love with her to imagine laying in an empty bed again.

“”“”“”“”“”

Y/N’s POV (start of the really bad stuff)

The guys left to film a car video, it’s been months since they did that. I haven’t been alone long enough to think about relapsing, but sitting alone in Chris’s room, the feeling of loneliness is crushing me.

I need to distract myself. Chris would be so disappointed in me if I didn’t, and I can’t call him while he’s recording. I’ll cook myself something for dinner, the guys will be happy to eat when they get home.

“”“”“”“”“”

Dinner came and went, and I still didn’t feel better. I was scared to call Chris, I didn’t want to bother him and his brothers. It was a mistake.

I stare down, my legs tore to shreds and the wounds on my wrists, I need help. I don’t think I really want to die, I was just overwhelmed. I can’t let them find me dead. I can’t make them hurt the same way that I have. I need to call someone.

I reach for my phone, trying desperately to open it. The blood on my hands makes everything harder, but I can’t get up to get a towel. If I stand up I’ll surely pass out. I’m already lightheaded, just hoping that Chris answers my call.

“”“”“”“”“”

Chris’s POV

I’m laughing with my brothers and I don’t notice it at first. A small buzz in my pocket. There it is again. As soon as I pull it out I panic.

LOML 🥰 CALLING… ✅ ❎

“Guys! Stop talking real quick.” I immediately press the answer button. “Baby… is everything okay?”

No response. Fuck.

“Matt we need to go home.” He gives me a worried look, but before he can say anything I’m talking into the phone again. “Baby, I need you to talk to me… tell me everything is okay.”

there’s a second before she responds, I can tell that she’s been crying based on the sniffles from her end. “I fucked up Chris.”

My heart drops.

“go faster Matt!” Fuck. “What happened, I need you to tell me what you did!” I don’t mean to yell, but I’ve never been more scared in my life.

“I don’t want to die…” No. This isn’t real. It cant be.

“You aren’t going anywhere, I promise.” I quickly turn to nick and tell him to get 911 on speed dial. “Please just keep talking to me, I need to hear your voice.”

Matt breaks multiple laws in an attempt to get home, but I don’t notice. My whole focus is on keeping Y/N talking. When we get home we all rush upstairs.

“Nick, go sit in the loft.” He looks offended when I say it. “She wouldn’t want you to see her like this, I don’t think she’d ever forgive me if I let you.” He stays where he is. “Please Nick!” My voice cracks as I say his name. He leaves with tears In his eyes.

“Matt I need you to get the first aid kit from under her bed, it should have everything I need.” With that I open the door to the bathroom.

the scene in front of me is like something straight out of a horror film. I can’t even tell where the blood is coming from. I immediately rush to her side.

“I’m so sorry… I tried to distract myself, I promise.” She’s rambling, but I don’t mind. I’m trying so hard not to cry, but she looks so pale.

“don’t apologize, I’m not mad, nobody is mad” it doesn’t stop the tears, she’s still a sobbing mess beneath me.

Matt returns with the kit, clearly distraught. “It’s okay Matt, it doesn’t look like she needs stitches.” He looks frozen in place, and his breathing is erratic. Shit. “Go sit with nick… she’s going to be okay.” After a few moments he finally pulled himself out of the doorway.

by the time I’m done cleaning her up, Y/N’s tears have dried up. “You don’t need stitches…” I stare at the deep lines that run across each wrist. “But it would make the scars smaller, do you want to go to the hospital?”

“NO!” She’s shaking her head violently. “Please don’t make me go, they’ll take me away again!” I can see the tears forming again.

“ok, we don’t have to go.” I grabs the butterfly bandages, and start pulling the skin together, before tightly wrapping it with gauze. She’s more covered in gauze wrapping than actual clothes at this point. I carry her to my room and get her changed, before taking her to the loft.

“”“”“”“”“”

Y/N’s POV

Chris changed me, being very gentle around my gauze, and then he set me down on the loft couch next to Nick and Matt. I hear him mumble something about them staying with me while he cleans up.

I can see the relief in Nicks eyes when he sees that I’m alive, Matt just locks eyes with me and leaves. I never meant to upset him, but I can’t seem to find the tears for it right now. I fall into nicks chest and he just holds me.

I tell Nick everything. The relapse. The fake dating ruse. The fact that I really do love Chris.

He just tells me that it’s okay. He promises me that he’s not mad.

Once Chris is done cleaning the bathroom floor, he takes me to lay down in his bed. He’s so gentle when he snakes his arms around me, careful not to hit my arms or legs.

“I told Nick…” he just stares into my eyes. “You don’t have to pretend to love me anymore, there’s no point in lying anymore.”

“who said I was pretending?”

“”“”“”“”“”

@unbruisable @bernardsbendystraws @sturniolo-fann

#madi writes things #chris sturniolo #chris sturniolo imagine #chris x reader #sh!reader #tw: sh #self h@rm #tw: suidice

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major-mads · 3 months

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Chapter 5: The Dangerous Sky

John "Bucky" Egan x Ruth Morgan (OFC)

Series Masterlist

A/N: We've been planning this chapter for months now, and it's so exciting to finally post it! It's another long one lol! Please comment or reblog and tell us what you think!! Thanks for reading!! <3

Collab: On a Wing and a Prayer by @footprintsinthesxnd

Word Count: 12.7k

Monday, August 23, 1943: Thorpe Abbotts AAF Base, Norwich

Regensburg, Germany…the mission that earned the Hundredth its nickname was finally over.

Nine forts lost.

Ninety men gone…just like that.

Ninety boys who would not return to their families.

Among these ninety men was Curt. Buck and John were still in shock when their small group of officers tiredly pushed through the doors into their nissen hut. A few beds were made with fresh sheets, all remnants of their previous owners long gone.

The nightstands and walls that held the pictures Ruth had admired the week before were bare, a fresh slate for a fresh face that would be arriving soon.

As he walked by Biddick’s bunk, Bucky couldn’t bear to look at it. The wound was still too fresh.

“Knowing Biddick,” he had told Buck in the Algerian desert,” He’s probably sipping on a bottle of schnapps right about now.”

Oh, how he wished he was right.

“Looks like you’ve got mail, Bucky,” Jack spoke up, pointing at the man’s bed that had a few letters thrown on the mattress.

Dropping off his bag with a thud, John sat on the edge of his bed and collected the letters silently, immediately recognizing the neat cursive handwriting on the front.

He let out a gentle sigh and smiled to himself, the corners of his lips curling just slightly. Flipping through the letters, he discovered that all three of them were from Ruth.

August 17th, August 19th, and August 21st

John opened the first one, carefully unfolding the precious letter, and began to read.

John, Hope and I were barely able to sleep last night. Our worry for you both ate away at us, keeping us awake until the early hours of the morning. Based on what we’ve heard from Frank, that is around the time you were probably waking up in preparation for the mission. I pray for you constantly, John. I pray that God will look out for you, that He’ll protect you, and that He’ll allow you to come back to me. I also pray that Granny’s necklace does its job. Keep it close. I like to think that it’s a little piece of me with you. I don’t think I could imagine not seeing you again. My heart couldn’t take it. I’m afraid I have become very attached to you and your mustache, Major, so I am pushing this thought as far from my mind as I can. It has been difficult. As I sit writing this in the loud mess hall of our base, I can’t help but think back on the dance. That first night we shared with the buzzing crowd surrounding us…the way you calmed my nerves without a word, made me smile, made me laugh. You are unlike anyone I’ve ever known, John Egan, and I worry that you may never be rid of me if you continue to treat me so. I hold every second we’ve shared very near to my heart, and I can’t wait to see your handsome face again. If by some miracle you are back to base by the time this letter arrives, send me a response as soon as possible. I need to know you’re safe, Johnny. I’ll be waiting for you and your letter. Yours, Ruth Morgan

John could almost hear the nurse’s voice in his head reading her words, and his chest filled with warmth as he traced her name lightly with his finger. If he was being honest with himself, he was taken aback by her sincerity. No woman had ever expressed feelings like these to him before.

His relationships with women had always been about a night of pleasure, physical attraction with not much feeling behind it.

But her words…

‘I worry that you may never be rid of me…’

Ruth was different in every way possible, and when he told her that first night, he had no idea just how much. Placing the letter onto his nightstand, he opened the second one from the 19th, his grin widening when he saw the first line.

Dear Hotshot, I wanted to be the first to inform you of the Yankees’ seven-to-five loss to the Indians today. Yes, I remember our truce, but seeing that you got one last jab on Monday before we parted, I decided that I had one left myself. This makes us even now. Now that that’s out of the way, I can revert to the loving sweetheart who is worried sick for your safe return. I really do mean it when I say you are always on my mind, John. I’ve managed to make it one singular day without seeing or writing to you before giving in and penning this letter. I simply need to get out my nerves and anxieties, thoughts and feelings, and this is the best way to do that. Hope and I went on an evacuation run yesterday, and as we were flying, we wondered if we were near the two of you. Did Buck tell you he proposed? Well, he didn’t technically, but he told Hope he wanted to marry her after the war. Needless to say, she’s been worried sick just as I have, maybe even more with Hugh gone as well (if that’s possible).

Eyes widening, John’s gaze rose from the letter and shot across the room to Gale, who was quietly talking with Hugh at his bunk as he unpacked his bag.

Why did he not tell him?

“Got any big news you wanna share with the class, Buck?” he asked, raising his eyebrows at him while holding up Ruth’s letter.

Gale confusedly looked over at him. “What?”

“You heard me.”

Rolling his eyes at Hugh, Buck sauntered over to John, standing over him with hands on his hips. “What are you talking about?”

“Mrs. Hope Cleven,” the older man grinned. “That’s what I’m talking about.”

A bashful smile appeared on Gale’s face. “I’ve got a ring and everything, now. It’ll be after all this is over.”

Standing to his feet, Bucky pulled him into a tight hug and lifted him off the ground. “Whenever it happens, I better be the best man! That’s all I’m sayin’.”

“Yeah, yeah, you will be,” Buck chuckled as John put him down, releasing him from his grip. “Just don’t tell Hugh that.”

“Hey, I heard that!” Hugh shouted across the officer's hut causing Gale to groan.

“Well, it makes sense. I am Buck’s best friend,” John retorted, sending a sly smirk Hugh’s way which only riled the man up further.

“Yeah, and Hope’s my sister. I’m his future brother-in-law.”

Gale stepped back as Hugh stomped over to them, coming chest to chest with John who just continued to playfully glare down at him.

“So what? You're a St. Louis fan,” Bucky pointed at him, a grin tugging at his lips. “That instantly makes you not best man material.”

Hugh snorted, rolling his eyes. “Yeah, and I suppose you being a great Yankees fan makes you the right choice, huh?”

“Absolutely,” John replied matter of factly. “How can you cheer for a team who lost 11-3 to the Pirates? The Pirates.”

“At least we didn’t get shut out by the Indians.”

Gale knew this wasn’t going to end well. No one could insult the Yankees to Johnny’s face and get away with it...except Ruth, of course. Before John could find a comeback, Gale stepped up, moving to stand between the two men.

“Now, now. I’m not having you two fighting over being my best man. If it’s that much of a problem, I’ll make Demarco my best man and Meatball can be the ring bearer.”

Neither of the men seemed too pleased with that outcome.

“Not Demarco!”

“Yes, Demarco.”

John groaned, pursing his lips, and Hugh remained silent, looking at the ground solemnly at their childish behavior.

“You should choose whoever you want to be your best man, but-” John began with a nod before Hugh interrupted.

“Yeah pick who you want, Gale. Hope will probably want me to walk her down the aisle anyway so I’ll probably be in the bridal party instead.”

John snickered with raised brows as he imagined Hugh in a bridesmaid’s dress, but he fell silent when Gale elbowed him in the ribs, shooting him a glare..

“Come here,” Bucky pulled Gale into another hug and slapped his friend’s back, “Congratulations, Buck! You’re a helluva guy.”

“The best,” Hugh added.

As they stood there celebrating Buck’s life-changing news, the trio couldn’t help but think of their close friend who wasn’t. Their group got even smaller…

“Curt…he would,” John cleared his throat and nodded, forcing down the emotion that threatened to creep up his throat. “He would be happy for you, Buck.”

Gale’s eyes met Bucky’s and they mirrored the same emotions…hurt, regret, sadness. The men who came back never talked about those who didn’t, and both of them knew this was the one time they would.

“Yeah, he would,” Buck breathed, one side of his lips barely turning up into a mournful smile.

Silence filled the air around them there for a few moments, all three stuck in their minds until Gale spoke up.

“That from Ruth?” Buck asked, gesturing to the letter in Johnny’s hand.

He nodded once and sat down on his bunk with a soft smile, suddenly remembering the last half of Ruth’s letter he still had to read. “I’ve got another one to read after this one. Then I’ve gotta write her back.”

As Gale looked down at his friend’s lovesick gaze, he smiled to himself and shook his head. If someone had asked him if John Egan would be rushing to read love letters and send a response to a woman, one woman, whom he’d been seeing over a month, Buck Cleven would’ve told them they were crazy.

“Tell her I said hello,” Gale said quietly, patting Johnny’s shoulder before returning to his bunk.

He muttered, “Yeah, sure,” before his eyes found the paragraph he left off on. The major’s aching heart was soothed by her words as he continued to read them.

We have been busying ourselves around the base, finding things to keep our mind off the fact that we don’t know where you are…if you’re safe. I’d like to think I’d know in my heart if you were gone. I pray I don’t ever have to face that feeling. Take care of each other wherever you are, alright? I know you watch Buck’s back like he watches yours, Johnny. Keep an eye on Hugh, as well. We both know he can be a troublemaker…like someone else I know. He, however, doesn’t have someone to reel him back in when he gets a little too crazy like you do. I know I’m writing this like you will receive it where you are right now, and not when you return to base, but I’m doing so because it’s the closest thing I have to talking to you. I miss you, John. Please write when you get this. Praying for your safe return, Your Ruthie

Scooting onto his bunk more comfortably, Bucky leaned back against the wall and opened the last letter. It was dated just two days prior, so at her current rate, another would be sent before his could reach her.

My Hotshot, Please come home soon. The past five days have been torture. I go to see if I’ve gotten mail every single day, and each time, I leave a little more disheartened than I came. I feel my heart can’t beat inside my chest until I know you’re safe. I know you’re doing your job…a job that has to be done…but it doesn’t make it any easier. I’m sorry, John, but I don’t have too much time to write. We’re about to leave on an evac run. I long to hear your voice and feel your warm touch. Don’t forget your promise, hon. Come back to me…sooner rather than later. I can’t handle two boyfriends, remember? Missing you, Your Girl

Johnny swallowed thickly, lowering the letter to his lap as his mind raced. He knew that it very easily could’ve been him that went down that fateful day over Regensburg…it was all luck.

There was a bigger chance than he’d like to admit that he’d go down, that they’d all go down, and the thought of never seeing Ruth again brought a burning to his chest. Reaching up, he grasped the necklace around his neck beside his dog tags, feeling the coolness under his fingers.

Her Granny’s necklace sure did its job.

John brought the cross to his lips, kissing it softly as he silently thanked Virginia Morgan up above for the good luck.

Once the letters were carefully stored in the growing bundle of her correspondences he kept in his nightstand, he pulled out a fresh sheet of paper and a pen. Using his book as a backer, he began to write.

Ruthie, Hey, sweetheart. I’m glad that you kept your promise about the letters, and I’m also glad to say that I’ve managed to come back to you in one piece. By now, you’ve probably read about the raid in the papers. It was a tough one, and reading your letters helped more than you’ll ever know. Thanks for telling me of Buck’s “proposal.” The chump hadn’t even told me about it! So much for a best friend, right? He says ‘hello,’ by the way. Hugh thinks he has a chance at best man, but we all know that’s not gonna happen. You’ll be the maid of honor and I’ll be the best man…I can see it now: Buck crying like a baby and you looking like the most beautiful thing I’ve ever seen. I’ve missed you, Ruthie. I still can’t believe that a wonderful woman like yourself would ever spare a poor sucker like me the time of day. Each time we part, I find myself replaying our every moment spent together. When we were stuck in the Algerian desert under the scorching sun, my thoughts always wandered back to you. Your skin, your hair, your smile, your lips…the way you make me laugh. You are unlike any woman I’ve ever known, Ruth Morgan, and if I am never rid of you (as you wrote), I would consider myself the luckiest man in the world. Stay safe up there on your runs for me. Your Hotshot, John Egan P.S. Tell your other boyfriend that I’m back and not willing to share.

Saturday, August 28, 1944: Thorpe Abbotts AAF Base

John, Gale, and Hugh were riding from their nissen huts to the mess hall when the familiar roar of a C-47 filled the air. The sound meant their girls were on base, and it filled them with excitement as they peddled faster towards the landing strip.

“Did you know they were coming today?” Buck asked, quickly glancing over at Johnny and Hugh.

John shook his head, a lazy grin curving his lips. “No, Ruth didn’t mention it in her last letter.”

Gale nodded to himself but couldn’t shake the feeling deep down that something was wrong. As they approached the airstrip, Colonel Harding appeared, calling out to John.

“Bucky! I need to talk to you,” he yelled from the balcony of the nearby flight tower.

Holding in a groan, Johnny nodded at Hugh and turned his bike toward the tower. “Tell Ruth I’ll see her in a minute.”

It all happened so quickly.

The flight had been uneventful.

All their patients were stable, and Frank and his fellow pilot were singing together in the cockpit. Hope and Ruth had taken their seats and were enjoying resting their legs for a while.

That was until the Ack-Ack’s had started firing.

Hope hissed, resting her palm against her injured thigh as she slid out of the plane. The bloodied bandage did nothing to stem the steady flow of thick blood. It hadn't been gushing with a constant flow but seemed to increase as her heart pounded faster and faster in her chest.

Memories of the shrapnel piercing her thigh, having pranged around the aircraft before embedding itself into her, flashed in her mind. Looking back, she shouldn’t have pulled it out, but despite Ruth’s protests, she was stubborn, and without the blonde’s quick thinking at applying pressure and a tourniquet, she wondered if this would have been a different situation. Hope hated feeling weak and not being in control, but her stubbornness could have cost her life.

“You need to get that leg checked out, Hope,” Ruth glanced over, her usually soft features etched with fear and concern, but Hope, still being her stubborn self, shook her head.

“Ruth’s right, Hope. It’s a bad wound and we’d all feel a lot better if you got it checked out,” Frank added, helping the blonde with getting a stretcher into the ambulance.

“We need to tend to our patients first,” Hope shuffled over to the nearest man on a stretcher, quickly informing the stretcher-bearers of his condition before they carted him towards the ambulance.

Glancing at his watch quickly, the pilot cursed under his breath. “I’ve gotta go radio the base and let them know what happened.” He pointed at Hope as he hurried off. “Get it checked.”

“Do you need that leg looked at, Miss?” One of the young men asked, “There’s room in the ambulance.”

Hope shook her head, politely declining any assistance. That was until two familiar faces came rushing over, a mixture of fear, anger, and horror on their faces as they noticed the side of their C-47.

“What the hell happened, Girls?” Hugh asked, glancing between his sister, then Ruth, then back to Hope. “Shit! You’re bleeding.” He reached forward but Hope pulled away, shrugging him off.

“I'm fine, Hugh. It's just a scratch. I'll get it looked at later,” she dismissed him.

By now she could feel Gale’s eyes boring into her, his sharp blues missing nothing. He felt her discomfort as she hobbled along, trying to avoid resting her hand against the wound to draw attention to it.

“That looks a hell of a lot more than a scratch, Hope,” Gale stepped forward to stand beside Hugh, his movements stiff and mechanical, as if he wasn’t quite sure how to act. “You’re covered in blood.”

Hope looked down at her uniform, noticing that from her waist down both her legs were soaked in blood and she was beginning to feel lightheaded. “I said I'm fine,” Hope snapped, exasperated and in pain.

She just wanted to do her job, why couldn't they understand that?

“What happened, Hope?” Gale’s eyes were dead serious as they watched her, clearly annoyed but wracked with concern. Hope just looked back at him, unable to move or speak for fear she might cry.

“It was the Ack-Ack’s,” Ruth quietly spoke up, and the men turned to see her own blood-soaked uniform, her hands still shaking at her side. “The plane was hit by flak fire. A chunk of shrapnel went flying around… got Hope in the thigh,” Ruth sighed and let her gaze fall to the ground, knowing that Hope might not forgive her for the next part. “She pulled it out herself. We applied pressure and a dressing but she needs to see a doctor.”

If looks could kill, Ruth would be six feet under the airbase by now.

“YOU DID WHAT?” Gale cried out, his face white with horror but his sharp eyes burning in a way none of them had ever seen before. “Are you some sort of idiot? Everyone knows not to pull things out of a wound. You could have bled out.” Gale’s chest was heaving as he fought the anger that built up within him. His hands clenched in fists at his side as he continued. “Do you have any idea what you’re doing?”

Hugh reached out to him, trying to cool the situation down but Hope intervened.

“I had patients on board. I'm no good to them if I bleed out everywhere. I thought quickly and went with the best possible outcome.”

Gale snorted, waving his hands out in front of him, “Of course you did. You thought of the best possible outcome for you. What about the rest of us, Hope? What would happen if you had died?”

Hope sent him a hostile glare, jaw clenched and her lip curling slightly as she spoke, “Do you realize how selfish you sound?”

Gale scoffed, “I’m selfish. Did you for one-second think of what we'd have done if you had died?”

Despite being outside surrounded by wounded soldiers, you could have heard a pin drop.

Hope’s eyes scanned over the group, looking into the faces of her friends and seeing the same hurt looks. Ruth’s face was still tilted toward the ground with closed eyes as she listened to the bickering. The fear, the explosions, and the sound of Hope’s pained scream replayed in the woman’s mind, and she felt like her heart was going to explode inside her chest.

It was too much. It was all too much.

Ruth was vaguely aware of the rest of the group leaving the airfield, Buck trailing off after Hope as she stormed away, and Hugh marching off as well. She stood there silently, trying to keep herself from falling apart…

The second Bucky was dismissed by Colonel Harding, he jogged down the stairs to his bike outside. Pedaling to the airstrip, he could only think of Ruth’s smiling face that he would soon be seeing. The hum of engines reached his ears as he turned around the corner of a shortcut, and the sight of her familiar figure standing before the C-47 sparked even more excitement within him. A grin formed on his face and he pedaled faster, eager to greet her.

As the plane came into better view, his smirk fell as he noticed a giant hole in its fuselage. Johnny’s gaze snapped back to Ruth, and when he looked closer, his initial excitement transformed into horror. The world seemed to blur when his eyes focused on the blood-soaked flight uniform that clung to her. Panic seized him, and without a second thought, he leaped off the still-moving bicycle, letting it clatter to the concrete behind him as he sprinted toward Ruth, his boots pounding against the hard ground.

“Ruth! Ruth, what happened?” he cried desperately, his voice echoing off the nearby buildings.

Johnny reached her in a whirlwind, taking her face in his hands, his panicked blue eyes inspecting her face intensely, scanning for any sign of injury. He then moved to her torso, his hands running over her body frantically.

As his hands desperately searched Ruth’s uniform, his voice trembled with fear. “You hurt?”

For a moment, she didn’t respond, and then suddenly, her tear-filled eyes met his. The Major’s hands, once frantic in their search, were now pleading. "Ruthie, come on. Talk to me. I need to know you’re okay."

She gently placed her hands over his, stopping him. “It’s not mine,” she finally whispered, her voice strained. “We flew into a flack field, and, uh, Hope. She got hit in the leg. Buck’s with her now.”

‘Ruth’s okay,’ John repeated in his frazzled mind. “She’s okay.

A relieved sigh escaped his lips and John wrapped his arms around her, pulling the woman into him tightly. Her head was tucked into his chest as uncontrollable tremors ran through her body.

“You’re okay, doll. I’ve got you,” he murmured against her temple. “I’m here.”

His heart broke as he felt a sob rack through her body, her weak cries reaching his ears. “I-I was so scared, John. I thought we were gonna die.”

Bucky pulled back slightly and moved his hands to grasp her tear-streaked cheeks gently, her pain-filled blue eyes nearly tearing him apart.

“Hey, hey, hey,” he whispered, leaning down to meet her gaze as he wiped her tears softly with the pad of his thumbs. “You didn’t, okay? It’s over now. You’re safe, Ruth. It’s over.”

She took a shaky deep breath, trying to calm herself, but another cry fought its way up her throat and the nurse let out a choked sob. With each breathless gasp that left her lips, Ruth’s heart pounded faster and she suddenly felt her chest tightening.

John knew what the startings of a panic attack looked like, and he tried to recall how Franny had taught him to calm Lena down all those years ago when they were teenagers. Seeing Ruth’s usually bright and loving personality in such a fearful and panicked state sent his mind into overdrive.

“Ruth,” he urged, his hands still cradling her face. “Look at me, sweetheart.”

Her watery gaze met his, her breaths coming out in short uneven gasps.

“I need you to breathe.”

Taking a deep breath through his nose, John nodded at her with raised brows, worry etching his face. “With me, now.”

Ruth shook her head. “I-I can’t-”

“Yes, you can,” the Major asserted firmly, reaching for her hand and holding it against his chest. “Feel that? Breathe with me. In…” he breathed through his nose. “And out.”

After a moment, she shakily followed suit, her eyes never leaving his. The warmth of John’s hand enveloping hers and the steady rise and fall of his chest beneath her touch grounded her in the moment. Gradually, her breathing began to regulate, the erratic gasps giving way to steady inhales and exhales. Johnny watched her closely, his eyes searching for any signs that the attack might return.

“There you go,” he murmured. “Just keep breathing with me, doll.”

With each measured breath, Ruth felt the tightness of her chest gradually ease, the weight of her fear lifting. After a few minutes, her breath completely steadied, and the panic attack passed, leaving her drained but calmer.

Ruth leaned into John’s comforting embrace, her forehead moving to rest against his chest as she let out a shuddering sigh.

“Thank you,” she whispered, her voice barely above a hoarse whisper. “I-I’m sorry you had to see me like this, covered in blood and…and a mess.”

John placed a soft kiss to her temple. “None of that. You’re okay. That’s all I care about.”

As she stepped back into his arms, her eyes welled up with tears once more. “But look at you,” she protested weakly, gesturing to the smears of blood that marred his brown button-up undershirt. “I’ve ruined your shirt.”

Bucky shook his head, a small smile playing at the corners of his lips. “This old thing? I’ve got a million of ‘em anyways, Ruthie. It’s just a shirt. Wasn’t even my Sunday’s best,” he reassured her gently. “I knew there was a reason I didn’t wear my lucky jacket today.”

“Are you sure?”

“Yes, ma’am,” he nodded. “Come on, let’s go get you cleaned up.”

He wrapped an arm around her waist and slowly led her toward the nearby operations building, still feeling her body shaking beneath his touch. As they turned the corner, they were met with Bubbles walking past a jeep. His face scrunched in concern and the usual smile fell from his lips at the sight of the bloodied woman.

“Shit! What happened, Bucky?” he asked, quickly approaching them. “Do I need to go get Doc Stover?”

“No,” Ruth piped up, mustering the best smile she could. Even Bubbles could see straight through it.

John shook his head. “We’re alright, but I’ve gotta take your ride, Bubbles. Sorry.”

“Oh, that’s not mine. It’s Kidd’s.”

“Even better,” he smirked, opening the passenger door for Ruth before climbing behind the wheel. “Tell him I owe him one.”

Bubbles raised a brow with a barely concealed grin. “He’s gonna be pissed, sir.”

“Ehh, he’ll get over it.”

Nodding, the lieutenant turned to enter the building, but Bucky called out to him. “Oh! Bubbles, could you grab my bike? It’s somewhere near the ‘47 back there. Tell Jack it’s his for the day! Thanks!”

As the jeep roared to life, John tucked Ruth under his arm much like he did the night of the dance, and then they were off. She laid her head on his shoulder and her eyes slowly fluttered shut, sleep calling to her after the day’s events.

John peered down at her with a saddened smile as he took in her splotchy face and the blood that seemed to coat the bottom half of her uniform. Some of it even clung to her hair, the light blonde strands covered by the sticky, maroon substance.

As he felt her finally relax in his hold, he let out a shaky breath, his heart finally beating regularly in his chest again. The Major knew how terrifying flack encounters were, and he was trained in how to handle it…well, he was used to it. Ruth, on the other hand, was not. It was her job to keep men alive while in the air, not worrying about being shot out of the sky by some German on an anti-aircraft gun.

Rage bubbled from within him at the thought. If the blast was just a little closer, there was a chance that he wouldn’t be holding her in his arms. If one more-

“I missed you,” she murmured, breaking Bucky from his thoughts as she nuzzled into his shoulder. “I was so worried about you, John.”

He took a steadying breath, pushing down his anger as he ran his hand along Ruth’s arm softly. “I missed you, too, doll. And I guess we’re even now, ‘cause I think I just lost ten years of my life back there.”

A tired laugh escaped her lips. “Imagine feeling that way for 9 days.”

Johnny could hear the exhaustion in her voice, and he squeezed her shoulder, leaning down and pressing a kiss to her hairline.

“Get some shut-eye, alright? We’ve got a stop to make before we go back to my hut.”

She nodded against him as her eyes fluttered closed again, sleep quickly overtaking her.

As she slept soundly under his arm, he pulled up to a hut with a familiar figure smoking outside. “Miss Tatty,” John whisper-shouted, careful not to wake up Ruth. “Could you do me a favor?”

Raising a brow, she took a drag of her cigarette and approached the jeep, her smile falling when she saw the nurse’s bloody figure beside him. “She alright?”

“Flack hit her stick,” He sighed, running his free hand down his face. “She’s alright, but Hope got pinked in the thigh. Scared her half to death.”

“What can I do to help?”

“Could you find some extra clothes for her? She’s gonna need some fresh ones.”

Tatty nodded at him, a determined expression gracing her face. “I’ll get some now.”

It only took the woman a few minutes to emerge from the hut with a small bundle in her hand. “This should be enough,” she said, placing the bag into the back of the jeep. “But please stop by again if you need anything.”

“Thank you, Tatty. I owe ‘ya one.”

A tiny chuckle left her lips as she pointed her finger between Ruth and John. “Just don’t screw this one up, John, and we can call it even.”

“I don’t plan on it,” he grinned toothily, putting the jeep back in drive and starting down the road again. John’s hut was across the base, and he spent the short drive tapping the steering wheel to the tune of One O’Clock Jump while stealing glances at the sleeping woman in his arms.

When the jeep rumbled to a stop outside the officer’s hut, Johnny rubbed Ruth’s shoulder. “Wake up, doll. We’re here,” he said gently, a soft smile playing at his lips as she lazily sat up, blinking away the sleep in her swollen eyes. “You need to get washed up.”

Ruth lazily looked around them and realized where they were. “How long was I out?”

“Not long. Only about half an hour.”

Her eyes fell to her lap, the slick blood still staining the uniform. She was suddenly aware of how terrible she felt. It was everywhere. On her skin, in her hair…

“I feel disgusting,” she whispered, holding up her red-stained hands.

“I know, doll. Here are some clothes you can change into after you shower.” Bucky reached back and grabbed the small bag that Tatty had given him, squeezing her shoulder before getting out of the jeep. “Let me go grab my kit for you and I’ll be right back.”

The second the door shut behind him, Ruth’s gaze fell back down to her hands, on the crusted blood under her nails, on Hope’s blood. At the thought, a strike of anxiety coursed through her, and the nurse could feel her heartbeat speed up. The shaking of the plane and the sound of the hot metal flying through the cabin rang in her ears as she closed her eyes tightly.

Among the chaos in her mind, she heard Johnny’s calming words.

‘I need you to breathe…in and out.’

Following his voice, she took a deep breath in through her nose and out through her mouth, trying to calm her racing heart. Ruth repeated the action and ached for his comforting presence beside her.

‘Breathe. In and out.’

Inside his hut, Johnny was strutting to his bunk when he heard a soft snore from his left. His eyes followed the sound to a bed across the room, a smile growing on his face when he realized it was Buck and Hope. Her dark hair was splayed on his chest, and Gale had an arm around her waist as the couple peacefully slept, their faces free from worry.

It was the most peaceful slumber Bucky had ever seen Gale have throughout their three-year friendship.

He let out a chuckle under his breath and quietly gathered his shower pack, sparing them one last glance before closing the door behind him. As John emerged from the hut, Ruth’s eyes rose to his figure. His gaze locked with hers and he could once again see the worry in her blue eyes. He quickly approached the jeep but was stopped when someone called out to him.

“Bucky?”

Johnny turned to his left, seeing Majors Dye and Veal jogging toward him with wide eyes.

“You good?” Dye asked, eyeing the smears of blood on his shirt. Bill just stared at him warily, the only emotion on his face visible by the slight crease in his brow.

“I’m fine, boys,” Bucky replied with a smirk, his eyes floating to Ruth over their shoulder. “Thanks for the concern, but you’re not getting rid of me anytime soon.”

The pair followed his gaze, sharing a silent look when they saw Ruth in the jeep.

“Wait,” Bill spoke up gravelly, nodding towards John’s shirt. “Is that her blood?”

Scratching his mustache, John glanced at Ruth before lowering his voice and leaning closer to them. “No, but it’s Hope’s. Buck’s in there with her. They’ve both had a real shitty day.”

Dye nodded and sent her a sympathetic smile which she shakily returned. “We’ll tell the guys to steer clear for a little while.”

John could tell Ruth was teetering again, and he clapped Glen’s back, throwing a quick ‘thanks’ over his shoulder as he walked back to the jeep, his attention completely on his girl. He rounded the bumper to lean against the passenger side, offering her his hand. “Come on, let’s go get you squeaky clean again, Ruthie.”

Nodding silently, she let him lead her to the bathhouse. Ruth stood in the corner while he turned on the shower, the hot steam already fogging up the mirrors when he stepped back and held his shower pack out to her. “I-uh don’t know how hot you like it, so I just-”

“I’m sure it’s perfect,” she replied softly, taking the pack. ”Thank you.”

He stared at her for a few moments and took in the pure exhaustion on her features, his hand instinctively reaching up to push some hair behind her ear as he spoke softly. “I’ll be right outside. Gotta make sure no one sneaks a peek of my girl.”

Leaning down, he placed a gentle kiss against her lips before backing toward the door. Just as he reached for the handle, her voice stopped him in his tracks.

“John?”

He turned. “Yeah?”

“Can, um, can you stay?” she asked nervously, her eyes trained on the floor. “I don’t want to be alone.”

As Ruth’s request hung in the air, John’s mind went into overdrive. He felt a rush of heat flood his cheeks and his heart pounded in his chest. Swallowing hard, he struggled to find the right words.

“Yeah, I’ll stay,” he finally replied softly.

Even as he spoke the words, his mind was in turmoil and his thoughts spiraled out of control. John was unable to tear his gaze from her as she slowly began to unzip her flight uniform, revealing her red-tinged tank top underneath. When Ruth caught his stare, her cheeks flushed.

“Um, John,” her voice broke through the silence, her tone hesitant. “Could you…could you look away please?”

“Right,” Bucky muttered, his voice barely audible over the sound of the running water as he snapped out of his trance and spun to face the door. “Sorry.”

As she continued to undress, John tried to focus on anything other than what was happening behind him. He stared at the cracked cement floor, willing himself to remain composed, to keep his thoughts in check. When he heard the rustle of the curtain opening and closing, he let out a shaky breath as relief flooded through him.

Despite his efforts to focus on anything else, his thoughts kept drifting back to the woman on the other side of the curtain, her presence a constant in his mind. Bucky knew he should respect her privacy and give her a moment to decompress after the day’s stressful events, but the temptation proved too strong and before he could stop himself, he found his gaze drifting back to the shower.

John stole a glance through the opaque shower curtain, his body heating up at the sight of Ruth's silhouette moving gracefully beneath the spray of water. But as quickly as the temptation came, a wave of shame washed over him, and he quickly averted his gaze, chastising himself for his lack of self-control.

He traced the outline of her body in his mind, and then the shame came rolling right back again. Bucky knew he had to take his mind off of the woman…or at least try to…so he began to sing under his breath.

“Never saw the sun shining so bright,

Never saw things looking so right.

Watching the days hurrying by,

When you’re in love, my how they fly,

Blue days, all of ‘em gone,

Nothin’ but blue skies from now on…”

Ruth stood beneath the warm spray of water, letting it cascade over her weary body, washing away the dirt and grime of the day. The hot water soothed her aching muscles and eased the tension that had settled deep within her bones. Closing her eyes, she let out a sigh of relief, allowing herself a moment of rest.

As John’s soft singing filled the air, Ruth couldn’t help but smile. His voice, though not the most melodic, calmed her frayed nerves and eased the knot of fear that had lodged itself in her chest.

“John,” she called out over the sound of the water.

“Yeah?” Came his muffled reply.

“Could you sing a little louder?”

Bucky ducked his head with a grin and raised his voice, switching to a new song.

“And when I told them how beautiful you are,

They didn’t believe me. They didn’t believe me.

Your lips, your eyes, your curly hair,

Are in a class beyond compare,

You’re the loveliest girl that one could see…”

Ruth closed her eyes and let his deep voice wash over her, allowing herself to get lost in the rhythm of the song.

“And when I tell them,

And I’m cert’nly gonna tell them,

That I’m the man whose wife one day you’ll be.

They’ll never believe me. They’ll never believe me.

That from this great big world you’ve chosen me!”

As she listened to him, she began to scrub the blood from her skin, feeling a wave of emotion course through her. Tears pricked at the corners of her eyes as the memories of the day flooded her mind, but John’s voice calmed her, and she rapidly blinked them away. She knew that she wasn’t alone…that she had someone to stay by her side…someone to take care of her.

It took her a few washes to get the dried blood from her hair, and she sighed in relief when she could run her fingers through the strands without getting caught in a tangle. The water turned off with a click, and she stuck her head out the curtain, making sure only her face was visible.

“Could you pass me my towel?”

Johnny turned back towards her and quickly averted his gaze as reached for her towel hanging nearby. “Here,” he said, extending it towards her without making eye contact before facing the door once again.

“Thanks,” she replied, accepting the towel and beginning to dry herself off.

Ruth quickly got dressed, making a mental note to thank Tatty later, and ran the towel over her sopping wet hair. Once fully ready, she spoke up, her voice breaking the comfortable silence that had settled between them. “Okay, you can turn around now.”

Turning towards her slowly, John’s breath caught in his throat as he took her in. Her short blonde hair was slightly tousled from the shower, its natural waves making an appearance, and her cheeks flushed from the heat of the water. Ruth wore some navy pants that fit her perfectly with a dark, oversized wine colored sweater. Despite the exhaustion that lingered in her eyes, Johnny’d never seen something as beautiful in his 27 years.

“Wow,” John chuckled, approaching her slowly and cupping her cheek. “Would you look at that. Damn gorgeous.”

Her cheeks flushed even deeper at his words, a shy smile tugging the corners of her lips as she leaned into his touch. “You’re such a flirt,” she murmured.

Without hesitation, Johnny leaned in and pressed his lips to hers in a tender kiss, his hand weaving into her blonde waves. As they pulled apart, he rested his forehead against hers, their breaths mingling in the quiet of the bathhouse.

As he slowly leaned back, Ruth’s eyes caught sight of the raised scabs on his nose, cheekbone, and forehead. She reached up tentatively, barely touching them as she inspected his face.

“I’m sorry,” she said softly, her voice laced with concern. “I didn’t even notice before.”

John’s gaze softened as he met her worried eyes. “Just a few scratches, Ruthie. Nothing to worry about.”

She nodded, though she wasn’t entirely convinced. “Was it from Regensburg?”

The Major hesitated for a moment, the mental image of Curt’s plane exploding flashing in his mind before he could stop the thought. He nodded once and forced his face to remain neutral. “Yeah.”

Little did he know that the blonde could see the pain in his blue eyes.

Ruth shook her head, a frown tugging at her lips. “You’ve been taking care of me all day, and I-I should have noticed sooner. I’m sorry.”

He reached out, gently taking her hand. “Hey, it’s okay,” he reassured her, giving her hand a comforting squeeze. “I’m really fine, doll. Don’t beat yourself up over it.”

“Thank you. For everything.”

He forced all thoughts of the mission from his mind, focusing on the present.

“You’re lucky,” he smirked down at her, mischief floating in his eyes. “I don’t give free concerts to just anyone.”

Ruth couldn’t hold in a laugh at his remark and the soft sound echoed through the small room. “Well, lucky for you,” she teased back. “If you gave out tickets for free, nobody would show up anyway.”

John rolled his eyes playfully, his heart swelling with relief as he listened to Ruth’s laughter, even her small smile warming him from the inside out. It eased the tension and guilt in his chest and filled him with a sense of happiness that he couldn’t quite put into words. He leaned in to kiss her forehead gently, savoring the feeling of her soft skin against his lips.

“You feeling any better?”

“I feel clean,” Ruth sighed wistfully. “Tired but clean.”

Gathering all her used items from the bathroom, she threw them into the dirty bin in the corner of the room. Bucky took her hand and brought them to his hut’s door, holding a finger to his lips.

“What?” she yawned as he opened the door for her. “What are-”

She cut herself off when she spotted them. Buck and Hope were still sleeping in each other’s arms, and a wide smile formed on her face when she looked up at Johnny who was already peering down at her.

‘Hope’s fine,’ she thought. ‘They must have made up.’

Ruth had to throw a hand over her mouth to keep in the excited giggle that threatened to escape her lips, and John shook his head, tugging her away from the couple to his bunk.

She sank into his bed and inhaled deeply. Ruth closed her eyes for a moment, taking in the scent of his pillow, a mixture of his cologne and the army-issue shampoo they all used. It was a comforting smell, one that made her feel at ease.

As Ruth settled onto the bed, John made his way to the footlocker at the foot of the bunk, rummaging around for a clean shirt. Turning onto her back, she stared up at him as his fingers loosened the knot of his tie, pulling it free from around his neck. He tossed it into his footlocker before moving on to the buttons of his brown uniform shirt, revealing the pink-splotched tank top beneath.

Ruth couldn’t tear her gaze away if she tried.

She watched in silence, her face burning as he shrugged off the shirt, exposing his broad shoulders and muscular arms. When he finally pulled off the tank top, leaving him shirtless, a lump formed in her throat and heat surged through her.

‘Get it together, Ruth,’ she thought.

John caught her gaze and smirked, raising an eyebrow as he placed his hands on his hips. “So you can look, but I can’t?”

Ruth sputtered for a moment, her cheeks turning an impossibly deeper shade of red, but John chuckled softly. “I’m just joking, doll. Look all you want.“

She couldn’t help but admire him openly, her eyes tracing the lines of his chest and the curve of his shoulders. He was undeniably handsome…she knew that. But seeing him like this took her attraction to a whole new level and her heart fluttered in her chest.

Ruth eyed the few things that dangled from his neck: his dog tags, a small Virgin Mary pendant, and her Granny’s cross.

Ruth silently thanked her Grandmother for bringing him back to her.

Grabbing a fresh shirt from his footlocker, John slipped it on and kicked off his shoes before settling onto the bed, sliding back to sit against the wall. Ruth shifted to make herself comfortable and rested her head on his lap as Johnny’s fingers brushed over her damp hair.

They talked quietly for a few minutes, their conversation meandering aimlessly as they both enjoyed the other’s company. Soon, Ruth’s eyelids grew heavy, and her words began to drift off mid-sentence. Bucky watched her fondly, a smile playing at the corners of his lips as she slipped into sleep, her warm breaths against his thigh.

Sighing, he carefully reached for his beat-up copy of Guys and Dolls on his nightstand and began to read, holding it up with one hand. His other hand rested on Ruth’s head as he absentmindedly stroked her hair as he read, only lifting it to flip the page.

‘Only a rank sucker will think of taking two peeks at Dave the Dude’s doll, because while Dave may stand for the first peek, figuring it is a mistake, it is a sure thing he will get sored up at the second peek, and Dave the Dude is certainly not a man to have sored up on you. But this Waldo Winchester is one hundred percent sucker…’

The only sounds filling the room were each of the four’s quiet breaths, and John was able to read a few chapters before he heard rustling across from him. He lowered his book to see Buck sitting up slightly, rubbing his eyes with a yawn.

“Welcome back, sleeping beauty,” John grinned, his voice hushed.

Gale’s head lifted to get a look at his friend and a chuckle escaped him seeing Johnny with a wide-mouthed Ruth lying in his lap, her blonde hair covering his thighs. “Look at us.”

“Yeah. Who would’ve thought.”

Silence filled the air again as each thought of the woman beside them. A few moments later, John broke the stillness of the nissen hut. “How’s she doing?”

“She’s…She’s good,” Gale replied as he fought to keep a blush from his cheeks at the memory of their confession and what came after. “How’s Ruth?”

Johnny shook his head with a saddened sigh. “Real shaken up, Buck. You should’ve seen her earlier. I was…I was worried.”

“I know the feeling. She doin’ any better now?”

“Yeah,” he breathed. “Finally cracked a smile and seemed herself when she saw you two.”

A gentle smile tugged at Buck’s lips as his gaze drifted down to Hope who continued to sleep soundly. Her breathing was shallow and her nose wrinkled occasionally as she dreamed. At some point, she had moved her left hand to clutch onto his shirt and he could see the ring glisten in the dim light. “I popped the question.”

“So it’s official?”

“Yep.

“Congratulations, Buck,” Johnny smiled, a brow raising a few seconds later. “I am gonna be your best man, right?”

With an eye roll, Gale nodded at him. “Of course, you are, lardass.”

“Good.”

“As if I could watch Hope walk down the aisle without you by my side.”

“Exactly. You'll be crying like a baby anyway. I’ll have to bring plenty of tissues,” John chuckled, pleased that a sleeping Hope was keeping Gale anchored to the bed. Otherwise, he thought something would have been thrown his way.

“I can’t say you’re much better,” Gale pointed out, nodding his head toward them. “Look at you. Never thought I’d see the day that John Egan wrote love letters, much less something like this.”

John chuckled and thought about how different his life had been since that day in July. “Well, I finally found one worth writing to. Ruth…she’s uh, she-”

As if she had heard her name, the blonde stirred on his lap, stretching and yawning loudly before her eyes made contact with Gale who smiled at her.

“Good morning, Gale greeted her, causing Ruth to blush. She hadn’t realized she had an audience watching her wake up and only hoped she hadn’t been snoring loudly.

She rolled onto her back to face John and was met with a gentle smile and loving blue eyes gazing down at her. “Hey there. Feeling better?”

“Still tired,” Ruth sighed and sat up, rubbing away the sleepers that had accumulated in her swollen eyes. “But I don’t think I can sleep anymore.”

John had to hold in a laugh at the way her blonde waves stuck up in all different directions from where they had dried on his lap. “Well, your wish is my command, doll, so what do you wanna do?”

“What is there to do?”

“Have you seen the hard stands yet?” Gale spoke up. “Lemmons might even have Billy and Sammy over there.”

“Billy and Sammy?”

“Two little squirts that Kenny’s taken under his wing,” John answered with a nod.

At the mention of the kids, Ruth’s face lit up, and a wide grin grew on her lips. All evidence of sleep disappeared from her features as she excitedly clambered off the major’s lap and stood to her feet, brushing her fingers through her hair to tame the wild locks.

As he watched her, Johnny felt a pang of sadness at the sight of Ruth’s sudden enthusiasm. It hit him then, that she probably hadn’t seen many kids since becoming a nurse. As a teacher, she was surrounded by them every day, and now, their innocent faces were likely a distant memory in her mind.

“They’re a handful, those two,” Bucky chuckled, rising to his feet beside her. “But they’re good kids. Come on, let’s go see if Kenny’s putting em’ to work over at the hard stands.”

Walking out of the hut, the couple sent Buck a “thanks” as they walked by him. Ruth’s eyes fell on Hope’s still sleeping figure, her heart twinging at the memories of the morning, but she didn’t worry. Gale was there to take care of her.

John and Ruth spent the short ride to the hard stands talking about their weeks, and he almost let the news of Gale and Hope’s engagement slip a few times before they rumbled to a stop in front of Muggs’ hardstand.

He was determined to keep his mouth shut for once. Bucky knew Hope should be the one to tell Ruth about her engagement, and he didn’t want to be the one to ruin the surprise.

Hopping out of the jeep, John’s eyes searched for Lemmons. “Kenny?”

Ruth glanced over at him skeptically. “He here?”

“Should be. He said he’d fix the old girl up today.”

They approached the fort, and Ruth was shocked by its sheer size. Yes, her C-47 was big, but the B-17 was different. Her plane carried supplies, people, almost anything…but this was a weapon. A weapon that took the fight to Hitler’s doorstep.

It really did look like a fortress.

Ruth reached up and trailed her fingers along its yellow nose paint, the metal rivets cool from the chilly English air as she followed John to the small hatch just in front of the right wing. Before he could stick his head into the hatch, a small boy’s face appeared sideways out the hole.

“Boo!”

Both the adults jumped, Ruth more so than Bucky, and the man jokingly groaned. “Billy! I thought Lemmons was supposed to be keeping you out of trouble?”

“Did I scare you, Major?”

John raised an eyebrow at him. “What do you think?”

“Yes,” he giggled as another boy stuck his head out the hole.

Sammy.

“Whatcha think, Ruthie?” Bucky looked over at her with his hands on his hips. “They get me?”

She grimaced playfully and nodded. “He about jumped out of his boots, boys.”

They shared a shocked look, then broke out into cheers, their faces disappearing from the hatch. “Lemmons! We got him! We finally got him!”

“They’ve been trying to scare me for weeks,” he explained, a fond grin tugging at his lips. “Finally got me.”

Before Ruth could respond, a pair of feet dangled from the hatch, and John helped each of the boys to the ground, setting them down in front of the couple. They went running off toward the tail, and then a few seconds later, a ground crewman hopped out of the hatch, his dark curls peeking out from under his beanie.

“So they finally got ya, huh, Bucky?” he asked.

“Looks like it,” he replied.

Ken’s eyes fell to Ruth beside John and he smiled, wiping his oily hands on a rag. “You must be Ruth! I’ve heard a lot about you.” He held out a hand, “I’m Ken Lemmons, but you can call me Kenny. I’m one of the ground crew chiefs.”

“Nice to meet you, Kenny. I hope you’ve heard good things,” Ruth answered, cheeks flushing at the notion that John had talked about her. She glanced up at him with narrowed eyes before shaking Ken’s hand. “There’s no telling what this one’s said.”

“Don’t worry,” Lemmons chuckled. “Only good things. I promise.”

Giggles sounded from the back of the plane, and Ruth leaned to see them, her gaze instantly drawn to the boys. Following her eyes, Ken called them over. “Come here! The Major’s got someone he wants y’all to meet!”

They bounded over, just noticing her presence even though she had spoken to them minutes before.

John grinned and wrapped an arm around Ruth's shoulders as he introduced her to the boys. "Boys, this is Ruth. She's my girl."

The boys' eyes widened in disbelief, and Billy blurted out, "No way! You're way too pretty!"

Ruth busted out laughing at their innocence. "Ohhh, he’s not so bad once you get past the mustache…and the jacket…and the bad jokes…and-"

“Alright, alright. We get your point,” he groaned, pretending to be offended by dramatically clutching his heart. "Way to kick a man when he’s down. Besides, that’s a lie about the mustache."

She shrugged and ignored his question. “Nice to meet you, boys.”

They exchanged mischievous grins, clearly enjoying the banter. "Miss Ruth," Sammy said, using his hand to hide his words from John. "You’re way out of his league."

John still heard the comment and raised an eyebrow, playing along. "You think so? Well, I guess I'll just have to keep her around to make me look good."

Ruth nudged him playfully. "Smooth recovery, Major."

The boys shared another toothy and excited glance before launching into a barrage of questions. “Do you live on base? Are you a nurse? Do you fly planes? Have you ever shot down a Jerry plane?”

Ruth laughed at their enthusiasm, sparing John a blissful look as she felt almost at home in the kids' presence. “I’m a flight nurse, and no, I don’t live at Thorpe Abbotts. I fly in planes but leave the actual flying to the pilots. I just take care of my patients and leave the rest to them.”

Billy and Sammy listened intently, hanging on her every word. “Do you ever see any action?” Billy asked.

Ruth hesitated, the day’s events flashing in her mind, but a warm, reassuring hand on her back brought her back to the present. “Sometimes,” she replied carefully. “But most of the time, my friend Hope and I are too busy taking care of the wounded soldiers and getting them safely back home to notice.”

“Wow,” they marveled.

“So what do y’all do around here?”

Out of the blue, Sammy grabbed Ruth’s hand, tugging her from the men. “Come on, Miss Ruth! We have to show you the plane!”

“Yeah, you gotta see the tail gun up close!” Billy added eagerly, his toothy grin stretching ear to ear. “And the ball turret!”

Ruth glanced back at John before allowing herself to be led away by the boys. As he watched them go, he shook his head at how Ruth affected everyone she met…she was captivating.

Ken and Johnny began conversing about the Muggs’ repairs from the previous day, but the Major’s attention kept drifting back to Ruth. After the boys gave her a plane tour, the trio moved to a grassy patch nearby, plopping onto the ground with Ruth sandwiched between the two boys. They continued their animated conversation, and their laughter filled the air as she told a story of a soldier who got airsick and threw up on her shoes.

As he watched them, a thought crossed John Egan’s mind. A thought so unexpected that it caught him off guard.

She’d make a great mom.

The realization startled him. He’d never entertained thoughts of a future like that before, never met a woman who made him long to settle down and raise a family. But there he was, watching Ruth with Billy and Sammy, and the idea didn’t seem as far-fetched as before.

Ken noticed Bucky’s distraction and nudged him gently. “She’s great with ‘em.”

“She is,” he breathed, grinning as the boys broke into another fit of giggles across the hard stand. “Ruth was a teacher before she became a nurse.”

“A teacher?”

“Yeah.”

Lemmons nodded. “Makes sense. What age?”

“Junior high.”

“Well, that’s how she can handle you, then,” Kenny laughed. “She’s used to wranglin’ 13-year-olds all day!”

John threw an arm over the younger man’s shoulders, jostling him lightly. “You know, you’re probably right,” he cackled, his eyebrows raised. “You’re wise beyond your years. Sometimes I forget you’re still a squirt yourself.”

Once Billy and Sammy had to go home for supper, the couple drove back to the Officer’s Hut to catch up with Gale and Hope. Later that evening, Hugh arrived with food for the two couples, Meatball following at his heels. The large husky made a beeline for Hope, greeting her at the side of the bed.

“Hey, Meatball,” Hope mumbled, leaning as far as she could to ruffle the dog’s fur. Meatball groaned when she began scratching his ear, and he closed his eyes and tilted his head, expressing his enjoyment. “Who's a good boy?” Meatball hopped up on the bed, snuggling into Hope’s side.

“You can keep him if you want. The damn thing keeps howling. It’s driving me insane,” Hugh complained, passing Hope a bowl of steaming soup. “When Demarco gets back, I’m giving him a piece of my mind, leaving me to watch his dog all afternoon.”

Hope accepted the soup gratefully but could only manage a few mouthfuls until the wave of nausea washed over her once more, and she placed the bowl down.

“Ugh, I feel so sick.”

Gale was at her side in an instant, his hand resting on the small of her back as she bent over, head in her hands. Ruth looked anxiously at John from their seats on his bed and started to put down her bowl to help when Hope spoke up.

“It’s okay, Gale, it’s just the morphine,” she reassured him, squeezing his hand, to which he pressed his lips to her shoulder blade.

Hugh snickered, “He didn’t get you pregnant while I was away, did he?”

“With us in here? Sounds like a nightmare,” John retorted, rolling his eyes at the same time Ruth grimaced from beside him. She knew a signature Hope Armstrong comeback was incoming.

Hope glared at her brother, ”The fact that you have so little knowledge on pregnancy concerns me for your future wife.”

Hugh stuck his tongue out in response, “That’s not a no, though.”

The pillow from Gale’s bed was a near miss as it sailed past Hugh’s head, and he dodged it dramatically, glaring at his sister.

“Come on, with all the ‘Dear John’ letters Sparky gets, I’d be surprised if he ever settles down,” John joined in.

“Look who’s talking, Bucky,” Hugh retorted, pointing at Ruth with his spoon. “At least I got letters. You didn’t get a single one before Ruth came along.”

“Really?” Ruth asked quietly, surprise etched on her face.

The Major nodded with pursed lips, pushing the vegetables around his bowl before looking over at her with a small smile. “There was no one worth writing to.”

The blonde’s cheeks heated at his words, and she got caught in his gaze.

From their position across the room, Gale and Hope watched the interaction with fond smiles, both happy to see their friends with someone who so clearly adored them. The moment was interrupted when Hugh burst out laughing.

“Well, that didn’t stop you from-”

He was cut off when a pillow came sailing into the side of his face, knocking some of his soup onto his pants as the pillow fell to the bed. Hugh’s gaze flicked towards the cot the projectile came from, ready to yell at Hope, but he wasn’t expecting to see her wide eyes as she stared up at Buck in awe.

“Sorry, Charlie,” he shrugged. “It just slipped.”

Ruth and Hope broke into chuckles, but John just sent Gale a thankful glance. Bucky then turned his attention to Hugh, and the two pilots glared at each other. John was frustrated about the cheap, low-blow comment, and Hugh was still clearly sour over the best man situation. They soon gave up and went back to their soup. John’s mind, however, got stuck on Hugh’s words.

Once they’d finished their supper, a knock sounded at the door. “Everyone decent in there? Girls?”

Frank.

“Uh, yeah,” John called, lifting an eyebrow at Ruth.

The door swung open, and the Captain walked in with his lips in a straight line. “Thought you two’d be in here,” he nodded before turning to Hope. “How’s the leg?”

“I’m okay. Still hurts like a bitch, though.”

“Did you get it checked?”

Her face shifted into a grimace at the question. “I took care of it.”

“You, Hope Armstrong,” he sighed. “Are the reason I drink.”

“You know you love us,” Ruth added, tilting her head with a grin.

Frank’s attention drifted to Ruth’s figure beside John. “And how are you, Ruthie?”

The blonde looked up at John, thinking of how he’d taken care of her throughout the day. “Better now.”

“Alright, enough of the lovey eyes, you two,” he called out to them, taking a deep breath and placing his hands on his hips. “The Angel’s out of commission, and the Grove can’t send anyone tonight with the blackout, so we’re stuck here for the night.”

Both couples perked up at the news, but Hugh just groaned.

“As much as I wish I could make you stay with the Red Cross girls, I know I can’t. So you two,” Frank pointed at Gale and John. “No funny business, okay? None.”

Johnny’s mouth twitched, almost quirking into a smirk, but he was able to hold it in as Buck replied with a “Yes sir.”

“Zero funny business,” Bucky fake saluted from his bunk.

Running a hand down his tired face, Frank scratched his mustache. “Hugh, I’m counting on you to keep an eye on them.”

“Trust me, I will.”

“Alright. I’ll see you guys in the morning.”

The door closed behind him with a slam, and they all visibly relaxed. Hope moved to shuffle back onto the bed beside Gale, the wave of nausea having passed when the door flew open again.

A cool breeze filled the hut as five men strolled into the hut, apparently oblivious of the girls until the one at the front of the column spoke up.

“Would you look at that? Major ‘no girls in the hut’ Cleven has a girl on his bed,” he pointed at Hope before the man behind him tapped his shoulder, causing him to turn and notice Ruth. “And Egan, too. Shit, I’m surprised Charlie hasn’t joined in.”

Gale sighed, standing up and placing his hand on Hope’s shoulder, “Hope, Ruth, these are the boys.” Buck took a breath to introduce them, but John beat him to it.

“DEMARCOO!!” John hollered, causing Gale to groan at his friend’s childish antics.

The man at the front just smiled.

“Egan,” he greeted him before motioning towards Ruth, “How did you manage to snag yourself such an attractive broad?”

Ruth’s cheeks flushed under the other man’s gaze but John just chuckled beside her, “Must be my endless charm.”

“Sure thing, Major,” Demarco snorted, his voice lowering to a whisper as he glanced down at Ruth. “Blink twice if you need help.”

With a shove from John, Benny laughed and turned his attention back to Hope and Gale while Bubbles moved over to greet Ruth.

“Hi again,” Bubbles waved at the blonde with a kind smile. “Glad to see you’re feelin’ better, ma’am.”

Ruth nodded from where she was tucked into John’s side. “Me too. And call me Ruth, please.”

“Oh, your bike’s outside, by the way,” Bubbles added, looking over at Bucky and pointing toward the door. A smirk appeared on the lieutenant’s face as he stepped closer to the couple with a hushed tone. “Kidd was, uh, not amused, to say the least.”

“Like I said, he’ll get over it,” John remarked, glancing over Bubbles’ shoulder at the Major in question who was conversing with Bill quietly. “Looks like he’s over it now. Jack!”

“Wait-” Bubbles tried to stop him, but it was too late.

“Thanks for letting me borrow your jeep today.”

Jack scoffed bitterly and sent Johnny a sharp glare. “When you stole my jeep, you mean.”

“Come on, Jack,” John groaned. “I left you my bike.”

“A bike and a jeep are nowhere near the same thing,” Kidd argued, shaking his head with a sigh as his gaze fell on Ruth. “I know today was rough, and I’m glad you two are okay. I saw your skytrain, and you’re lucky it wasn’t worse.”

Ruth felt the familiar lump of anxiety growing in her throat, and she cleared it quietly, keeping her voice steady. “Thanks.”

“Just don’t do it again, Bucky,” Jack nodded.

“No promises.”

Kidd’s gaze shifted to Ruth with his brows drawn together. “How do you deal with him?”

“I have no idea,” she answered tightly, the anxiety still working its way up her throat. John inspected her face, noticing the way her eyes darted around the room.

“It’s a little stuffy in here, don’t you think?” he asked, meeting her anxious gaze.

Ruth nodded as Bucky waved bye at Jack and ushered her out the door. When the pair exited the hut, they were met by a beautiful sight. The sun was setting over the base and vibrant colors painted the sky above the runways. Silhouettes of B-17s lined the horizon, and the distant rumble of engines, with the occasional chatter of ground crewmen, filled the air.

Ruth took a deep breath and crossed her arms over herself, the warm sunlight on her face helping to calm her racing heart.

“Sorry, I know that was a lot of people,” he said quietly.

“It’s not that. Today’s been a lot,” Ruth sighed, pushing her hair behind her ears as she continued to stare out at the English countryside. “I just needed a second.”

They both silently watched the sun slowly disappear behind fields of wheat as far as the eye could see, each of their minds stuck on the day.

As Johnny stood beside her with his hands on his hips, Hugh’s comment about his past replayed in his head. Before he met Ruth, everyone knew he wasn’t particular about who he spent his nights with or where he spent them, and these women didn’t seem to mind either. But all that changed when Ruth walked into his life.

Despite his pickup lines and physical affection, John wanted to make sure Ruth knew she wasn’t just another of his “floozies” as Hope called them. She had to know that he felt something deeper beyond physical attraction, something real for her...as real as he’d ever felt.

Mustering up his courage, John took a deep breath and broke the silence of the quiet sunset.

“About what Hugh said earlier, or started to say,” Ruth turned to him. “It’s no secret I’ve been around,” he confessed, his eyes falling to the ground. “I’ve been with women-”

“You don’t have to say anything,” she interrupted, placing a hand on his arm.

“Yeah, I do,” he urged, moving a hand over hers. “I’ve done things I’m not too proud of. But I’ve been trying to do better…”

John acted like he wanted to say more, but stopped when a conflicted expression appeared on his face. Sensing his apprehension, Ruth squeezed his arm reassuringly.

After a moment, he decided to keep going, his voice laced with nervousness. “You make me want to be better. You make me feel…something…everything. The other girls were…I don’t know. Distractions, maybe? Something to keep my mind off of what goes on up there.”

As Ruth watched him pour out his closely guarded heart, she saw a glimpse of a man who wasn’t as secure and confident as it seemed. She saw a man who longed to be held, taken care of, and loved but was unsure how to go about it.

“But I like this,” John gestured between them. “I like us…a lot. Today made me realize just how much. And I-I don’t want to mess this up.”

Biting her lip gently, she stepped closer, reducing the already small gap between them. “I like us, too. I meant what I said in my letter, you know. About you not being rid of me.”

“I meant what I said, too,” he replied softly, tilting his head towards her as he gently placed his hands on her hips. “You’re a unicorn, doll. One in a million, one of a kind…however you wanna say it.”

Ruth’s hands slid up John’s chest and looped around his neck, her lips slowly curving into a small grin despite the burning sensation within her stomach. “Yeah?” she whispered.

“Yeah,” John nodded as a line appeared between his brows. “I wanna do this right, and I’ve never-,” he paused, inhaling deeply. “I’ve never done this before…you know? Gone steady. But I care about you. So damn much. And I want that with you.”

“I want it too.”

They stared at each other for a few moments, the setting sun casting a golden hue on John’s face as he held her in his arms.

“Good,” he finally sighed, the corners of his eyes crinkling as he smiled down at her. “Cause I didn’t have a plan B if you rejected me.”

Ruth chuckled under her breath and shook her head. “I could never reject you. I’ve been letting you kiss me for almost a month now, remember.”

“Well, you’d be surprised. It wouldn’t be the first time.”

She rolled her eyes, meeting his gaze again to find him searching her face for some answer to a silent question.

“So…what happens now?”

“Well,” Ruth whispered, her eyes flicking to his lips. “I was expecting you to kiss me, Major, but-”

“You don’t have to tell me twice,” he quickly replied, tugging her flush against him and landing his lips on hers. It was a gentle kiss that confirmed their deep attachment to the other, and their future together.

Pulling away, Ruth answered his question out of breath, her words coming out in shorts pants. “How about we take it slow and see where it goes?”

Shaking his head, John’s hands slid from her waist to her cheeks and gave her another chaste kiss. When he leaned back, he peered down at her blushing face with a wide, toothy grin. “Did you know the unicorn’s my favorite extinct animal?”

As they settled in for the night, John lounged under his covers with one arm behind his head and stared up at Ruth with a mischievous grin. “Looks like the floor’s all yours, doll,” he said, gesturing to the space beside his cot.

“Oh really?” Ruth arched an eyebrow, feigning deep thought as she glanced around the hut. “I'm sure someone else has some room if you’re kicking me out…”

Without missing a beat, Bucky quickly made room for her on the narrow bed, playfully pulling back the covers and throwing his arm out for her. “Oh wow, would you look at that? A vacancy just opened up.”

She rolled her eyes and accepted his invitation, slipping into the bed beside him, immediately feeling the comforting warmth of his body. John wrapped his arm around her, his touch gentle as he settled her close against him.

“Don’t you dare hog the blankets,” she teased, her voice soft as she nestled against his side, her hand finding its place on his chest.

Bucky squeezed her waist slightly, grinning up at the ceiling. “Don’t you worry about me. I don’t think I’ll have any problem staying warm tonight.”

Beside them, Bill grumbled in response, his voice muffled as he turned away. “Bucky, just shut up and go to sleep. Some of us are flying tomorrow.”

“Night, doll,” John whispered, chuckling under his breath before tenderly kissing Ruth’s hair.

Her eyes became heavy with the day’s exhaustion, and she lazily kissed his shoulder. “Sweet dreams.”

“Oh, they will be if-”

“John! Shut the hell up!” Jack hissed through the darkness.

Finally following their request, Bucky stopped talking and instead focused on how Ruth’s small figure fit perfectly into his bulky one like a missing puzzle piece. He let the steady rise and fall of her chest against him lull him into restful sleep that he’d been lacking since they touched down in Algeria.

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