#also i swear to god if my dad says ‘that’s so weird there’s soo many people hiring finding a job shouldn’t be this hard’ | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

scuttling · 3 years

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Happy Accidents

Fandom: Criminal Minds Pairings: Aaron Hotchner/Female Reader Word Count: 6,300 Tags: 18+, NSFW, Art, Neighbor Hotch, Shy and Oblivious Hotch, Flirting, It's soo sappy I'm sorry, Oral sex, Unprotected sex Summary: Aaron's new neighbor is out of his league for so many reasons: she's young, beautiful, artistic, unique, free-spirited, the kind of person who turns heads when she walks down the street. It's no wonder he ends up falling in love with her. *Requested by anon Link to A03 or read below! Against all of his better judgement, Aaron is kind of creeping on his new next door neighbor.

He is absolutely the type of man, any other time, to approach a woman he’s interested in and introduce himself, look for a way to connect, some common ground, but this is no ordinary woman.

She is out of his league in so many ways: young, beautiful, unique, free-spirited, the type of person who turns heads when she walks down the street. There’s not a chance in hell she would look twice at an old, stuffy, monotone suit with a seven year old son and perpetual bags under his eyes. That’s not him feeling bad about himself, it’s just the way the world works.

The first time he saw her, she was getting on the elevator while he was getting off of it, and they’d bumped into each other; she was wearing a short, flowy dress, and she’d smiled at him, apologized, eyes sparkling, smelling like she’d spent all day in the sunshine. It was the only time since Haley he’d ever entertained the idea of love at first sight.

She keeps to herself most of the time, gives off the air of being really cool and mysterious; their paths have crossed a few times since then—at the bank of mailboxes downstairs, in the hallway they share, once during a false alarm fire alarm—but he enjoys watching her paint more than anything.

They have balconies next to each other, and one night when he was tending to his herb garden—Jack enjoys watching the plants grow, and picking the herbs, Aaron likes to eat them—he spotted her standing on hers, facing away from him, in cut off jean shorts and a baggy t-shirt, barefoot. She’d been painting the city, the sky, with the sunset glowing behind her like she was the work of art, and he actually felt an ache in his chest, the feeling of missing someone he’s never really met.

Since that night, he’s started taking his work outside in the evenings after Jack goes to bed, and sitting in near silence while she paints, hums—sometimes songs he knows, sometimes songs he doesn’t. The first time he goes out before she does, she says hello when she drags her easel out, so he starts to say hello to her when she beats him there, too, but that’s pretty much the extent of their interaction. One evening when Aaron and Jack are getting home from dinner, she is lugging a canvas bigger than she is through the hallway and Jack almost runs headfirst into it; when he looks up, he exclaims about how big it is, and pretty—it’s covered with colors, something abstract and cheerful, and even if he’d seen it on the side of the road, he would have just known that she painted it. (That may be a good indicator that he’s getting in a little too deep.)

“Wow, that’s the biggest painting I’ve ever seen! And so many colors,” Jack says, awed. Aaron puts his hands on his shoulders to keep him out of her way; they’re already bothering her enough, when she’s clearly trying to get that giant thing home.

“It’s pretty cool, isn’t it? I carry bigger pieces around at my studio, believe it or not,” she says to him, poking her head around the side to look at him.

“You have a studio?” His eyes are wide with interest; his favorite subject has always been art, as evidenced by their refrigerator, which is covered in drawings. She offers him an even brighter smile.

“I do! It’s not far from here; it’s called Live in Color. There’s a big rainbow painted on the side.”

“That’s so cool; it must be awesome to have your own studio.” Aaron loves that Jack seems to be so passionate about this, but the way they are obviously holding her up has him feeling awkward; he tugs gently on Jack’s backpack.

“That is really cool, bud, but we should let her go. I’m sure that’s heavy.” She smiles, shrugs.

“It’s no trouble. Hey, actually, we have some children’s art classes at the studio, and you look like you’d fit right in with the Green group—ages 7-9?” She looks up at Aaron, who nods. “Maybe we can talk dad into bringing you down sometime. We do painting, drawing, and crafts, it’s really fun.” She’s still looking right at Aaron, gives him a little wink, and he swears to god he gets butterflies in his stomach.

He’s a grown man. A federal agent. With butterflies. It’s insane.

“Oh man, dad, please? Can I take classes at her studio pleeease?” Jack tugs on the sleeve of his suit, and he nods, smiles down at him.

“Yeah, absolutely, Jack. We’ll go down and get more information tomorrow?” he offers, to both placate him and finally free the poor girl from the conversation; he nods excitedly, and she smiles, looks sweet, genuinely happy Jack is so excited to take the class.

“Cool, I look forward to seeing you guys there. Actually, if you give me one sec, I can grab my card for you.” She passes them, carrying the canvas and looking effortless while she does it; she props it up against the wall to get her keys out, unlocks her door and heads in, pops back out with a business card in a vivid watercolor yellow. “It has the address and phone number for the studio on the front, and I put my cell on the back; I figured it couldn’t hurt, considering we live next door to each other. Now you know who to call if you ever have an art emergency.”

He takes the card from her fingers, flips it over just to see the handwritten name and number; he knew her script would be lovely, and it is, easy and flowing and natural. It suits her. He tries not to grin, or flush, or otherwise be awkward about the fact that she just gave him her phone number, however innocently.

“Thank you. We’ll see you tomorrow.” They turn to head for their apartment, and she clears her throat; he smiles a little, turns back, and she’s leaning casually up against the canvas with her arms crossed.

“You know my name now. What’s yours?” She’s just being polite, but he gets the goddamn butterflies again.

“Aaron.” She smiles, something beautiful and a little wild.

“Okay, Aaron. See you outside.” From then on, most of their free time, be it evenings or weekends, is spent at the studio. Aaron isn’t the only parent who sticks around—it’s an art class, not a daycare, he doesn’t feel right just dropping Jack off and leaving him there—and he’s also not the only parent, it seems, who is aware of his beautiful young neighbor.

“She’s incredible, right?” another dad says to him one evening, over by the coffee. Aaron looks him over briefly—it’s a job hazard, he sizes up everyone, but he already has a weird feeling about this guy. “I’ve been bringing my kid here for a month just to look at that little ass running around. My wife just thinks our daughter is just really into art.” He says it with a laugh, like that’s a ridiculous concept. Aaron feels himself start to boil.

“You shouldn’t be disrespectful. She’s doing a great thing here, for the children; she’s not doing it for you to ogle her.” He feels a little hypocritical, because he is also looking, but not like this guy. He knows guys like this. He puts away guys like this.

He glances over at Aaron, looking a little taken aback that someone actually commented on his behavior, then rolls his eyes.

“She doesn’t need you to defend her honor, buddy. She wouldn’t run around here in those overalls if she didn’t want us looking. It’s job security.” She’s wearing the overalls tonight, denim shorts with one of the straps unhooked, a t-shirt underneath, but it’s not as if she’s performing a striptease. She just looks like an artist, covered in drips of paint, smiling as she looks at the kids’ pictures over their shoulders. Aaron really, really hates this guy.

“In my experience, women usually dress for themselves; they probably have pockets, easier to keep things at hand that she may need, and it’s warm in here, so she’s likely dressing for comfort. She’s certainly not dressing for you.”

As if she can sense the tension, she looks over at them, flicks her eyes over Aaron, then the other guy, and walks over with a soft smile on her face.

“Hey, Aaron, Jack really wanted you to see what he’s working on.” She reaches out a hand, wraps it around his wrist and guides him over to Jack’s table. “I figured I’d save you,” she says when they’re out of earshot. “That guy sucks. He’s always saying creepy things to me and Alaina.”

“You should ask him to leave if he makes you uncomfortable,” he says, looking down at her with worry. “I can do it.” She shrugs.

“I would, but his daughter really does enjoy the class, and it’s not fair to her that her dad’s disgusting. It’s nothing we can’t handle.” She squeezes his wrist lightly. “Thanks, though. Hey Jack, show dad your project.” He peers over his shoulder, and it’s a pink and orange skyline, much like the one he saw her painting that first time on the balcony. “I asked the kids to paint my favorite thing today, and that’s sunset.”

“I saw you painting this one night,” he says, and then he feels abruptly like an idiot. She just smiles at him though, nods.

“Yeah, I’m a sucker for a beautiful sunset. It makes you feel like, just because the day ends, it doesn’t have to mean things are over; it’s just one of life’s beautiful natural transitions. And the colors are to die for: peach, coral, jasmine, rose, tiger’s eye.” He finds himself unexpectedly touched by her description, smiles softly to shake himself of the emotions.

“The way you see the world is extraordinary. To me it’s just kind of… orange.” She returns his expression, but softer, and squeezes his wrist again; he didn’t even realize she was still holding it.

“Sounds like you need some art in your heart. I give lessons for adults, too; you could even come over and paint with me on my balcony, some time. Special neighbor privileges.”

The thought of being with her on her balcony while she paints is almost overwhelming, which he finds funny, considering he currently sits no more than twenty feet away. There is an intimacy about it, while they both do their work in the cool, quiet breeze, but standing like this, close enough to touch, with the late day sun on her face while she talks about colors… he’s not sure he could handle it without falling in love.

She pats him on the back, moves on to another child, and he tells Jack what a great job he’s doing; his face is lit up, so happy, and regardless of the neighbor, he’s glad they stumbled upon this hobby.

When they pack up to leave, the jerk from earlier comes up to him, leans in to speak in a hushed voice. “You should have just told me you were fucking her. I would have backed off.” He blinks, but the guy and his daughter are walking out the door before he finds himself able to do more than that. About a week later, he goes over for that lesson almost by accident. Jack is at Jessica’s for the night at his request, and Aaron was planning to order takeout and have a paperwork cramming session, but when goes out onto the balcony, phone in hand to place an order, his neighbor is standing on hers like she’s waiting for him.

“Hey. I saw you don’t have Jack; I made some pasta with vodka sauce, if you’re hungry. I always prepare too much.” He sets his phone on the table, walks over to the railing to get a little closer.

“Uh. Sure. I have fresh basil growing here; trade?” She smiles, nods.

“Yeah, sounds delicious. I’ll be right back.” She ducks inside, returns a few moments later with two dishes of steaming, saucy pasta, sets one down on her table and gets right up against her railing, hands the other over to him across his. “That one’s for you,” she says, handing him an orange plate, and he sets it down, picks a few good looking leaves from his basil plant and tears them up, drops them on top. “And this one’s for me.” She reaches, holds a green plate over the gap between their porches, and he adds some basil to it before she pulls it back, takes a deep sniff. “God, it smells so good and fresh. Thank you, Aaron.”

“Thank you, it looks great.” He goes to sit at his table with it, but she scoots her chair closer to the railing, closer to his balcony, so he does the same. They make easy small talk while they eat, mostly about Jack, a little about her studio and his work.

“FBI, huh? I can definitely see that, with your suits, and your… neutrals.” She cringes when she says it, and it makes him laugh.

“I’m sorry I can’t wear paint covered overalls to the office,” he teases, and she shoots him a playfully affronted look, grins.

“You love my paint covered overalls—and for the record, you’d look great in them. You should find a pair. Preferably not black.” He flushes a little at that, but she doesn’t notice, just finishes up her pasta with a sigh of contentment. “That was so good, thanks again for the basil.”

“You’re welcome; thanks for feeding me something other than the takeout I planned to have.” He stands up, gestures to his apartment. “I’ll wash the plate and then hand it back over.”

“Why don’t you just bring it over and come paint with me for a little while? If you want,” she tacks on, and for the first time she seems a little nervous. “I’m not trying to be pushy, I just think it would be fun.”

It’s not that he doesn’t want to; it would be amazing to watch her paint up close and personal. He’s just also afraid he’ll pass the point of no return if he does it, and he can’t handle any more heartache. He only very recently got to a place where just waking up in the morning no longer causes him agony.

It’s the look on her face, though, soft and sweet and open, that makes his decision for him.

“Yeah, okay. I’d like that.” She grins.

“I’ll unlock the door.”

She’s dragging out her easel when he walks through the door; her apartment is stark white walls with vibrant furniture, artwork, canvases propped up against every bare spot along the wall, paints and brushes and charcoal and pencils on every surface. It’s exactly what he would have expected, warm and lived-in and comforting, very unlike the mostly black and gray interior of his own apartment. She smiles when she sees him.

“Hey! Can you grab that tray of paint on your way out?” she asks, and he picks up what looks kind of like an ice cube tray filled with many different colors, carries it out to the balcony with him. She has a canvas propped up, a little larger than a computer monitor, and she’s gotten started, but he can’t tell what it’s going to be just yet. When he hands her the paint she looks down at it, peers around the edge of the canvas like she’s comparing something. He’s so intrigued, curious about the way her mind works, what she’s thinking.

“What are you painting?” he asks when she picks up a brush, sets it down, picks up another. She smiles at him.

“Well, we’re painting that.” She points to the street, where there’s a rusty, pale blue antique car parked—he says that loosely, because it looks broken down—in the alley. Aaron chuckles softly.

“We’re going to paint that? It’s a little… grim.”

“Yes. It’s part of a series I just decided to create: ‘Beauty in the Ordinary.’” She sighs, and he’s surprised to see that her eyes are a little wet. She wipes the back of her hand over her eyes. “You know Bob Ross, right? Everyone knows Bob Ross.” He nods.

“Yes; the guy who paints the happy trees on PBS.”

“Right. I used to watch him growing up, and I vividly remember something he said once, about needing both darkness and light in life and in painting. ‘You have to have a little sadness once in a while to know when the good times come. I’m waiting on the good times now.’” She sniffles, exhales softly. “I’m waiting on the good times too. Sometimes looking at things like this car, and forcing myself to find something beautiful in it, is the easiest way to get through the day. Does that make sense?” He swallows hard when she looks up at him, because aside from Jack, she has been the lightest part of his life since the first time they passed each other on the elevator.

“Yeah, it really does.” She shoots him a soft, slightly sadder smile, and then explains about the paints a little, shows him the difference in the brushes, lets him feel the weight of them, the textures of the bristles.

She starts painting the car—the background is mostly finished—and he’s more than happy to watch, to hear her talk about her process. She asks if she can use his forearm to mix paints, and he turns it over, wrist up, tries not to smile too hard when she puts some dark blue on him, then white, mixing them and then comparing them to the car on the street. He looks down at her, the concentration on her face, the softness in her eyes, and is met with the sudden desire to brush a line of paint over her nose and make her laugh and kiss her breathless.

“Okay, your turn,” she says when she’s about halfway done with the car. She puts her hands on the backs of his arms, pulls him in front of the canvas so she’s between him and the railing. “You’ve been watching me, so you know what to do.” He has been watching her, but not necessarily for her technique, so he’s a little nervous; he dips the brush in the blue paint but hesitates to make a stroke. “I have faith in you, Aaron. Here.”

She wraps her fingers around his hand, guides him toward the canvas, and together they make a wide, curved line, rounding out the bumper. It doesn’t look half bad.

“It gets easier once you understand the relationship between specific paint, specific brushes, and your hands,” she says softly, and she helps him paint another line. “Are you having fun? You look stressed,” she teases, and he makes it a point to relax his face.

“I’m having a lot of fun,” he says, looking down at her; they make eye contact for a long moment, and she leans a little closer, and he leans a little closer, and then he accidentally dabs a blob of blue onto the canvas. He pulls back, grimaces, deflates. “I made a mistake. You can’t erase paint, right?” She laughs softly, takes the brush from his hand.

“No, you can’t erase paint, but as Mr. Ross would say, ‘There are no mistakes, only happy accidents.’” She gets her fingers close to the tip of the brush, makes a few quick movements, then grabs another brush, dips it in green. When she pulls back, there is a little blue flower growing out of a patch of grass where his blob used to be. He exhales, a little amazed.

“If only the mistakes we make in life were that easy to fix,” he says, and she nods.

“Yeah, that would be nice, but a lot of the time we find a way to turn them into beautiful things eventually. Are you willing to give it another shot?” He says yes, and she guides his hand for a while, then just hovers near it, then just instructs him on what to do. It’s dark before their painting is finished, and she carries it inside to dry, then takes him to the kitchen sink to scrub the paint off of his arm.

“Thanks for having me over; I had a really good time,” he murmurs as she dries his clean skin. She looks up, smiles softly, nods her head.

“I had a really good time too. I’m glad you came over; you’re welcome to join me any time.”

He says goodbye, heads home, looks at his stack of work with a groan, and brews a pot of coffee. He’s in for a long night, but he wouldn’t change his evening for anything. Life is much the same for the next few weeks: school and work, Jack’s art class at the studio a couple times a week, painting on the balcony on the weekend, with and without Jack. When Jack joins them for the first time, she pulls out a big box of markers and thick sheets of paper and he draws elaborate scenes while they talk and paint together. When Aaron makes mistakes, she’s never upset, just turns them into perfect little details that end up being his favorite parts of the paintings.

“What ever happened with your ‘Beauty in the Ordinary’ series?” he asks one evening while they’re painting some ocean waves. “Did I cause you enough trouble with the car to give up?” She looks down at the ground, looks a little shy, then shakes her head and smiles.

“No, you didn’t make me want to give up. I’ve been working on it at the studio. You’ll see it when it’s all done, I plan to hang them there.”

“Looking forward to it,” he tells her, and then Jack tugs on her shorts, shows them the picture he drew of the ocean, too.

Later that week, the team takes a case, and on the day he’s set to come home, Jessica drops Jack off at the studio with the plan that Aaron will pick him up when his flight lands. Due to some weather between where the team is and home, they get a little delayed; he doesn’t want to make Jessica head back out that way almost immediately after dropping him off, but he’s not sure who else he could ask to pick Jack up. It’s almost a stupid length of time before it dawns on him to call the studio.

“Life in Color, this is Alaina.”

“Alaina, hi, this is Jack’s dad—” He has his whole spiel prepared, but she cuts him off.

“Oh, sure, hang on a sec, she’s right here. It’s Jack’s dad,” she says, but it sounds further away, like she’s trying to cover the receiver. After a moment, his neighbor picks up.

“Aaron, hi. Jack said you were working.”

“Yeah, I was, and I’m supposed to pick him up after class, but our flight was delayed.” He doesn’t know how to ask for help with Jack; even with all the time they’ve been spending together, she still makes him a little nervous. Luckily, he doesn’t have to figure that part out on his own.

“Hey, that’s no problem. If it’s okay with you, I’ll just take him home with me. I’ll order pizza, we’ll draw, and you can just stop by when you’re home and pick him up.” He breathes a sigh of relief, runs a hand over the back of his head.

“That would be perfect. Thank you—I’ll owe you one.”

“You don’t owe me anything. Hanging out with your mini me is reward enough; he’s painting something special for you today, won’t let me see it.” That makes him smile, and he feels so warm at the prospect of picking him up from her bright apartment, seeing his artwork, her smile. After a long, draining day like this one, it’s exactly what he needs.

“I’ll have to remain in suspense until tonight, I guess. Can you let him know I said hi? And thank you, I’ll see you later tonight.”

“Of course. We’ll see you then.”

It’s late, after nine, by the time he makes it home. He doesn’t even take his bags inside, just drops them outside his door and knocks softly on hers. She answers with a smile, ushers him in, asks him if he’d like a drink and gets them each a beer.

Jack is in her room, asleep, so they have a little time to chat; she asks about his flight, his case, and he asks about the studio, and she gets a little shy when it comes to that topic, clears her throat.

“Um. I have Jack’s secret project, if you want to see it. He said I could show you.” He’s not sure why that would make her nervous—at least, until he sees it.

The background is all watercolors, a gradient of rainbow colors starting with pink at the top and ending with a soft purple at the bottom. Over that, in black marker, he’s drawn the three of them, with a big heart around them.

“Tonight’s theme was the thing that makes you the happiest, and he said he’s the happiest when the three of us are on the balcony together. It was… really, really sweet.” She looks up at him, brushes a hand over the crown of her head. “If I’m being honest, that’s when I’m the happiest, too.” He takes the picture from her hands, runs his fingers over it, and smiles, feeling a warm ache in his chest—not like before, not like losing someone he’s never really met, but like finding something he never really planned on.

“That’s when I’m the happiest, too,” he agrees, and when he looks up, she looks determined, like she does when trying to find just the right shade of paint. She takes Jack’s picture out of his hand, sets it on the counter, and then pulls him down by the lapels of his suit, kisses him long and slow. His hands move to her waist, keeping her close, and eventually she pauses for breath, looks at him again, and then wraps her arms around his neck and kisses him some more.

“I haven’t stopped thinking about you since the first time I saw you—tall and dark and serious, striding out of the elevator. So intriguing, mysterious,” she breathes when they separate again. “I wanted to know everything about you.”

“Are you kidding?” he asks, huffing a laugh. “I’m boring, but you are so vibrant, so full of life; I felt like you were everything I wasn’t, and I wanted to know you so badly.”

“You know me now; would you like to keep getting to know me?” It’s one of the easiest questions he’s ever been asked; he nods, and she beams, and he lifts her into his arms and carries her to the couch, drapes himself over her while she leans back against the cushions, pulling him closer.

They make out like neither of them have a care in the world—god, how long has it been since he’s made out with someone?—her fingers scraping through his hair, his hands on her bare waist when her shirt rides up, and she’s in the process of pushing his jacket off his shoulders when they hear a sound from the other room that startles them apart. Jack.

“I’ll go check on him,” Aaron says, and when he goes into her room Jack is still snuggled up on her bed sound asleep. It looks like some canvases fell over, though, and he stoops to pick them up, then spots the car they painted together. He turns and she’s right behind him, skids to a stop. “I thought you said these were at the studio?”

“They were,” she says, and she looks nervous again. “But I changed my mind about hanging them there. They felt too personal.” He runs his hand over the car and sees where she’s coming from; this one feels personal to him, too.

“Can I see the rest?” he asks. “Only if you want to show me them.”

“You’re the only one I want to show them to,” she says with a soft smile, and she grabs a few more canvases, carries them into the light of the living room. “Beauty in the ordinary, remember.” He remembers, could never forget.

She turns one over, and it’s a kitchen sink, and in the kitchen sink is an orange plate with a fork resting on it—like the plate she’d given him with the pasta on it. She turns one over and it’s a man’s hand, holding a paintbrush, with pale blue paint on his forearm. The next one is a little herb garden on a balcony; the next one is a view from above, of a sandy haired boy with markers all around him. The last one is an open elevator—ripe with possibilities.

When he looks up at her, she’s got tears in her eyes, and one slips down her cheek.

“So, I think I’ve found my good times.” She smiles through her tears, and he takes her face in his hands and kisses the salt from her lips. “I love you,” she says when he pulls back to wipe her face with his sleeve, and he kisses her softly, again and again, and tells her he loves her, too. The next weekend, Jack is at Jessica’s for a sleepover, and Aaron has been enlisted to help with an art project. He walks next door, knocks lightly, and enters the living room; he is met with a very deep, passionate kiss and a smile, and instructions to help move the furniture out of the way.

“I’m really curious what kind of art requires this much floor space,” he says, shoving her couch back against the wall, and she sinks her teeth into her bottom lip, a move he has been unable to resist since she did it the first time they had sex. She knows it’s a weakness, exploits it, and he loves every minute of it.

“You’ll see, but I promise you’re going to like it.” When they clear the floor, she grabs a large, rolled-up fabric canvas and lays it out in the middle of the room, then drops three bottles of paint—one is yellow (jasmine), one is orange (peach), and one is kind of pink (coral? He’s still not sure.)—onto it. “You can obviously say no if you want, but I wanted something over my bed with the sunset colors, and I found this…” She steps closer to him, runs her hands down his chest, guides him down for a kiss so delicious he loses his train of thought. “It’s sex art; we put the paint on the canvas, and on ourselves, and… you know, go at it. What do you think?”

He thinks he really, really loves art now, even more than he thought possible.

“So we have paint-covered sex and then you just hang it on the wall? Like regular art?”

“Yep, I got the supplies I’ll need to hang it; letting it dry will probably take the longest. I figured we could shower while it’s drying, maybe go for round two, if you’re up for it.” She moves her hand to his waist, slips it inside his shorts, and he pulls her closer to his body. “Are you up for it, Aaron?”

That is an understatement.

Undressing happens extremely fast, because this is really sexy and they’re kind of in a phase where they can’t keep their hands off of each other anyway. She pulls her hair up onto the top of her head to try to minimize the amount of paint in it, and then she pours paint on the canvas, turns around and drizzles some on his back and tells him to lay down.

“I think we should probably change positions often so we get a lot of motion on the canvas; I apologize to your old knees in advance,” she teases, but she soothes the sting of her words by pouring paint on herself and then laying between his legs and licking at his dick. “Do some stuff with your hands; I want to see those big handprints on my wall,” she murmurs, and he groans, puts his palms down in the paint and drags them through it.

She leans up a little, sliding her knees through some yellow paint, sucks him fully, deeply into her mouth for couple of minutes, and then stretches forward and puts an orange hand right in the middle of his chest; the look in her eyes is playful, and he reaches out with one finger, hooks it under her chin, and guides her off and up so they can kiss.

“Your turn,” he says with a smirk, and then he gets her onto her back and ducks between her legs, hopes she doesn’t grab for his hair like she usually does. He rubs his pointed tongue over her clit, waits for the mmm it always elicits, and looks up at her, covers each of her breasts with a paint-covered palm and squeezes. “Leave handprints for me,” he leans up and reminds her, kissing her stomach, and she plants her hands, then presses up and grabs his shoulder, smearing pink down his back. “Oh, you wanted more of that?”

“Don’t tease me, the paint will dry,” she whines, and he spreads her thighs wider with his elbows and licks her pussy quickly, until she’s squirming against the canvas and panting for more. “Come here, come here.”

He’s not ready for that, though, paint or not, wants her to come from this; he takes his hands off of her, dips them in the paint again and presses down, then puts his hands under her ass and brings her closer so he can fuck her with his tongue, quick and deep and slick.

“Aaron, Aaron, god.” She slides her hands down his arms, over his neck, digs her nails in when she comes moaning like music.

While she catches her breath, so gorgeous, she sticks her arms out like she’s making a snow angel, and he catches her while she’s off guard and turns her onto her stomach, puts his hands on the smears of paint he’s already left on her ass, and slides inside.

“Oh my god; I was trying to impress you with this sexy art project, but you’re rocking my world.” She’s breathless, pressing back into his thrusts and painting with her entire body. God, he loves her mind.

“You know I always take your projects very seriously,” he says, leaning forward to whisper in her ear, and she groans, laughs.

“Yes you do. From the side? Let’s lay diagonally.” They shift, and he hooks his chin over her shoulder, kisses her neck and huffs hot against her hair. “Hmm, love it like this,” she sighs, and she reaches back to press her hand to his hip, holding him while he moves inside her. “I love you.”

“Love you. I want you to finish on top of me,” he instructs with a wet kiss to her throat, and she nods against his lips.

“Yeah, next; I’m getting close.” A few more strokes and she gets up onto her knees, lets him lay back, propped up on his arms, and climbs on top of him; she kisses him slow and dirty and then runs her hands over him, sits back on his dick and glides up and down. “You wanna come like this too? I owe you a little world rocking,” she says with a flick of her tongue over his bottom lip, and he nods, squeezes her thigh.

“It’s the least you can do after making me move all the heavy furniture.” She rolls her eyes but kisses his chin, down his throat, and bounces harder on him, all delicious eye contact and moans. “Mmm. Just like that, baby, come for me.”

“Fuck. I will, I will.” She wraps a hand around the back of his neck, kisses him kind of rough and with lots of tongue, and then tips her head back and climaxes, clenches, wrings his orgasm out of him so quickly it’s almost jarring. “Oh, yes Aaron. So good,” she mumbles, and then he lays back, out of breath, and she slides out of his lap and lays beside him, out of breath too.

After a moment, she looks over at him, smiles, and swipes a pink fingertip over his cheek.

“This is the hottest thing I’ve ever done with anyone. I’m glad I got to do it with you.” He rolls on top of her, presses a kiss to her nose, and nods.

“Me too. You know,” he adds after a moment, “my bedroom could use some artwork, too.” She grins, wraps her arms around him and squeezes tight.

“You’re right; I think we should do yours in blue: liberty, that’s dark blue; periwinkle, that’s light blue; maybe steel gray, too.”

“You’re the expert. I’m just your paintbrush.” Her hands smooth up his back, and contentment washes over him like a warm breeze.

“Hmm. I like the sound of that. Want to get cleaned up?”

Cleaning up is almost as fun as making the mess, because they’re well and truly covered, and when the canvas dries, the sunset colors are almost as beautiful as the ones she used the first time he ever saw her paint. Taglist ❤️: @arsonhotchner @mrsh0tchner @ssahotchie @sleepyreaderreads @mintphoenix @meghannnnnn @disgruntledchowchow @azenpal @g-l-pierce @my-rosegold-soul @ssamorganhotchner @heliotropehotch @angelhotchner @qtip-blog @gspenc

#aaron hotchner #aaron hotchner fanfic #criminal minds #criminal minds fanfic #aaron hotchner x reader #aaron hotchner x female reader #hotch x female reader #hotch x reader #ask answered #anon #prompt

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arjsstuff · 3 years

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Long post overdue: Jdrama Spree

It’s been so long since I’ve gone on a Jdrama spree. In the last month I’ve completed 3 Jdramas continuously which is sort of a great achievement for me and now I’m watching the 4h Jdrama for which I would be dedicating a separate post. Now this means two things, either I had too much time and neglected other important works or every drama that I watched was good enough that I continued watching it. So moving on to the three dramas I watched and my take on them:

1. From 5 to 9: I have mixed feelings after watching this drama. Until like the very end all I could think was how can she fall in love with someone who literally ruined her dreams, I mean if some random guy falls for me and stops me from achieving my dreams, I don’t think no matter what he does or how good he is I will never be able to forgive him. And also how selfish was Yamapi’s character, I love Yamapi’s characters generally and Aizawa Sensei and Kurosagi according to me were his coolest characters and this was just opposite of that.

Had the ending been different from the one that was showed, I swear I would go on a rampage about how unfair everything is towards women, she had to quit her job for “love”, her lifestyle, the kind of dresses she wore and her personality was reduced to cleaning and looking after the temple like *eye rolls*. There were definitely loopholes in the plot, for instance, Satomi Ishihara's character not pursuing her boss after knowing the truth about his marriage, Satomi not reciprocating to her best friend although she knew he had a crush on her etc but they tied the loose ends by the end of the series making it a satisfactory watch. I was surprised to see how well Zettai Kareshi's Night spoke English but his acting is sort of the same. The major take away from this drama for me was Yuki Furukawa who didn’t have many scenes, had me crushing on him the entire time. I mean he was that representative cool Japanese corporate employee probably from a top B-School. But I have to say the chemistry between Yamapi and Satomi is so natural but the plot was really bad. If I were the director and I were to caste Satomi and YamaP I would definitely choose a better script to maximaze their full potential

2. Mischievous Kss Love in TOKYO: Since I previously mentioned how I found Yuki soo damn cute I checked out what drams he was in and to my surprise he acted in Mischievous Kiss. I had deliberately not watched this drama for all these years because I had watched Playful Kiss and it was awful. I did not know what better Japanese could do with such a bad plot. Anyway I decided to give it a watch and the true showstealer was Yahagi Honoka. She is naturally cute unlike other girls who force Kawaiiness or aegyo and Yuki has this mischievous side to him, which makes them a perfect pair. Unlike the Korean version there weren’t too many surprise kisses, the whole series was mostly about Aihara's one side quest and Irei occasionally reciprocating it. And like one million other dramas, the hero realises he does not want to lose the heroine only when she starts dating some other guy. I felt bad for Kotoko that she had to go through so much but I also felt bad for Irei towards the end after his dad fell sick. Overall it was definitely a cute watch but I don’t think I would be watching Love in Okinawa or Season 2 as I feel season 1 was complete in itself. Also the last scene of the wedding was weird with no guests, just 10 characters of the drama and I definitely felt they looked like teens when they got married.

3. Liar Game 2008: The number of times I have told myself that I’m going to watch this but never found time. This time I decided no matter what I’m going to sit through and watch this. And Oh! My! God! What a ride this drama has been. If I had to say one word about this drama it would be ‘Masterpiece’ I can gladly place this among the best Jdramas I have watched in my life. Except for episodes 11 and 12 which was unnecessary the whole drama was such a gripping watch. It was almost always so hard to predict what happened next which kept me at the edge of my seat. Although Toda Erika doesn’t fit the anime description of dumb girl I think since she’s a seasoned actress she manages to do a great job as Kanzakai Nao (but also her face is scary at times even though she was supposed to be scared and surprised most of the times). And coming to the highlight of this drama *drum rolls* Matsuda Shota.

This drama wouldn’t have been what it is without him. I couldn’t believe he is such a good actor who’s so convincing in his role as Akiyama. That cunning demeanour and genuine concern for Nao along with his genius brains had me swooning over him. Also not to forget how HOT he looked. I kinda shipped Erika and Shota but there was nothing actually going on between the characters except this one scene where he intensely started at her, I thought he would kiss her or something because even her expressions were as though she expected a kiss but anyway nothing happened. Hmph.

But isn’t the best part about Jdramas? if the genre isn’t romance we hardly see any romance between the leads which is also why I prefer Jdramas over almost all Kdramas that add random lovelines and kiss scenes to get trp high *cough vincenzo*. This post will be incomplete if I dont mention the amazing antagonists of the drama especially Fukunaga who was simply despicable even more than Yokoya in my opinion, but had they kept Fukunaga as a trans instead of making him a man in the series, it would have been so much more fun. My mom who barely watches Jdrama was gripped when I narrated the first two episodes to her. I am definitely going to watch season 2 within this year but for now I just want to be hung-over with the memories of watching the first season and thinking how PERFECT it was.

#jdrama #mischievous kiss: love in tokyo #yukifurukawa #honokayahagi #Liargame #shotamatsuda #todaerika #from5to9 #5jikara9jimade #yamashitatomohisa #yamapi #satomiishihara

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mousehole5000 · 3 years

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this is it... the final post.... 226 through THE END!!!!!

this shit with mu qing and the river of lava is SOOOO dramatic im loving it

oh my god theyre on a FUCKING bridge of course they are okay let’s go boys

“You’re right. We’re alike. You think me odd, I think you to be rather weird too.” - so what im getting from this is that xie lian and mu qing are the only characters in this book with working gaydar okay yup got it this checks out

god... the fact that xie lian is ready to be like “look mu qing we can just forget about the past it doesnt matter we dont have to be friends i know you dont like me but im not gonna let you die over it” and then mu qing is like “.... god i really do admire you huh”

“You...certainly...are rather amazing. You’re...also...a better person...than me. Long story short, I...very much wanted...to become your f-f-friend.” - going to think about this for the rest of all time im about to become utterly unintelligible im overcome with emotions

“And, at the end of the white silk band, Feng Xin was gripping Ruoye with one hand while the other was holding on to a steel-faced Mu Qing, and he shouted towards him.” - the fucking IMAGE of this im gonna cry this is everything i could have asked for im so happy also mu qing dangling there like “ welp. guess ill live“

“Feng Xin was almost burnt by that pillar of fire, and he shouted in outrage. “WHAT’S WITH THIS BAND OF DOG SHITS, ATTACKING PEOPLE WHILE THEY’RE DOWN, SO VILE! FUCK YOUR ENTIRE FAMILY!” Xie Lian responded, “IF THEIR ENTIRE FAMILIES ALL LOOK LIKE THAT, YOU SURE YOU WANT TO FUCK THEM??” - theyre so funny!!! and theyre best friends!!! theyre joking together now in the middle of all this i could cry theyre back!!!

“Using sticks as arrows, he held the bow with one hand and used his teeth to bite back the bowstring.” - no clue how practical this is but okay archer boy. hot

i actually have so many little quips between the three of them highlighted but we’d be here all night if i included them all. im literally so delighted by this omg worth the wait

“Each sabre strike slashed to the bone. It wasn’t like Xie Lian had never seen Hua Cheng use the sabre before in the past, but his style had always been easy and leisurely, nonchalant and casual. Rather than say he was handling a weapon, it was more like he was toying with a small knife. Yet those blade marks were filled with killing intent. It was easy to imagine just how skilled the one exchanging blows with him was, and how perilous this battle.” you have no idea how mad i was when i read this and thought we missed witnessing the fight between hc and jw omg

“Behind him, Feng Xin muttered, “Dear fucking god, may all the gods and buddhas grant their blessings, that better absolutely be Crimson Rain Sought Flower, otherwise he’s gonna go mad!” “Stop your rubbish,” Mu Qing berated. “We’re all the gods and buddhas ourselves and we can’t grant shit, just keep up with him! Look at the stumbling way he’s running, he’s gonna trip and fall to his bloody death before he even sees the man!” - okay i know i said no more quips but this is literally too funny i just wanted to read it again

“ However, for whatever reason, that vicious ghost, in its muddled state, took that large group of live mortals under its wing and fled for many days. In the end, they were still surrounded by millions of ghosts, trapped in a dead end, and it was going to be eaten along with those humans.” [...] “That vicious ghost almost made a move against those humans, but for some reason, in the end, it didn’t. It instead used one of its own eyes as the price to forge a blood weapon. That vicious ghost was already forcibly hanging on with its last breath; after digging out its eye it should’ve broken apart completely. Yet somehow something had shocked it, and it instead woke to its senses completely. “ - THIS IS AMAZING ARE YOU KIDDING ME???? IS THIS ALL WE GET ABOUT HIS GHOSTLY LORE?????? HUA CHENGGGGGGGG

“What a terrible offence, his old habit had come out, and he quickly apologized. “I’m sorry! You don’t have to listen to me!” Hua Cheng, however, only smiled happily. “Everything gege tells me is the best advice, so why wouldn’t I listen?” - this isnt the fucking time afjdkfjsdkl they really never stop

“So you can hold the illusion of a perfect Crown Prince of Wuyong to face and dismiss the Jun Wu now. Isn’t that your objective? Did you think I don’t know what you’re thinking?” “THAT’S NOT IT!” Guoshi cried. “Stop getting tied up in right and wrong, victories and defeat, I’VE NEVER THOUGHT THAT WAY BEFORE!” - jun wu only being able to see xie lian as his successor and believing that thats all anyone else sees too... okay

honestly this whole final showdown was a blast i cant put everything in but it was so much fun to read. the DRAMA the LAVA the SHOUTING t

“Hua Cheng had poured too much spiritual power into him. There really was too much, so much that it was completely outside the amount the cursed shackle could withstand.” - okay.... okay... the love you give will set you free... okay....

“With Jun Wu in his grip, he carried both their bodies and forcefully slammed into the incomparably-solid rock wall! He used all of his power in this smash, and in the rumbling and crashing of rocks, he also heard the sound of something breaking.” [...] “A moment later, Jun Wu suddenly asked, “That move. What is it called?” “...” Xie Lian raised his sleeve and wiped away the blood on the side of his face. “Shattering boulders on the chest.” YES!!!!! YES!!!!! xie lian actually lived that life!!!!!! i loved this detail so much

“After a moment of silence, Xie Lian took off the bamboo hat carried on his back, took it in his hand, and covered it over Jun Wu’s face.” - xie lian... good... another detail i love. a hat that protects from the rain, given in a moment of need, even to someone who has caused you hardship... we do not forget the kindness granted to us

“There was gratefulness, there was shame, there was heartache, there was wild joy, but above all else, there was incurable love.” - :pleading: i wish it was just that easy tbh. “i have to tell you about the worst parts of myself” “ive already seen them and i dont care i still love you“ truly the dream

“ It’s been so long since anyone listened to me talk, won’t you stay? Don’t...actually do this. I won’t be able to take it. Twice, it’s been twice already! I really don’t want there to be a third time!!!” - the bit about just wanting someone to listen to him talk... xie lian... :(

emily corpse bride moment.... i knew it had to happen.... butterflies.... death and rebirth.... inevitable

xianle trio bickering about ruoye..... mu qing complaining but not letting anyone else fix it... im so happy

“The Rain Master sat down on the spot, looking like she was going to perform a passing service for her. After all, Xuan Ji was the only one left of the Kingdom of Yushi besides herself.” - xuan ji you sure the hell were... a character. this little moment tho..... yushi huang... many thoughts

“ Who hasn’t made promises, or swore to the mountains and the seas when they were young? Talking of affection, of love, of forevers. But, the longer I hang around in the world, the more I understand, something like ‘forever’ is impossible. It’s never going to be possible. Having it once was already good enough. No one can truly achieve it. I don’t believe in it anymore.” - jian lan im happy for you bummer it didnt work out with feng xin but yeah that was looooong ago. also this quote me same mood kin but its chill. having it once was already good enough

although yeah tbh if theres anyone who can have a forever like that... it would be a ghost and a god

fasdfjadklfj GOD... pour one out for ling wen.. but is that not the truth of this world? the one can be pardoned for being good at paperwork that no one else wants to do? isnt that the plot of the shawshank redemption?

okay but the fact that all xie lian’s friends come to visit him while he waits for hua cheng is making me feel all warm and fuzzy inside.... fengqing coming together to try to get him out of the house but get scared off by his cooking... amazing

“Last time, they spent eight hundred years running towards each other. This time, it only took an instant to fall into each other’s embrace.” - im completely unaffected by this. im not lying i swear (i am lying im very emotionally affected)

okay i love this final wrap up chapter party its so fun. mu qing moving on from the broom thing!!! good for him!! the beggars get their reward!!! the fun ghost city chefs!! SQX!!!! and he xuan is?? here too??? he’s hungry??? fjadlkfjsdl

“The grounds that Feng Xin and Mu Qing had just swept were once again filthy from that giant crowd of muddy feet. Mu Qing gripped his broom, looking like he felt someone had infected him with fleas, and his eyes were wide.” - me when my dad comes into the kitchen when ive just finished washing dishes i get it king

the little folklore bit... fun!!! oh my god its over..... :(

that was really fun i had a blast reading it and on the whole really liked it i WISH soo badly that hua cheng had gotten more outside of being cunty and devoted even tho those are both important i just wish there was more about like how he got by during those 800 years and like did he ever have doubts? what shaped his worldview was it all xie lian or was it his experience as a mortal as well? why is he so mean to e’ming? theres bits and pieces here and there and i know it was already SO long but that really would have been great if there was more about hc cuz tbh by the end, at least for me, the hualian relationship didnt actually feel as fleshed out as the xianle trio relationship like i still liked hualian’s dynamic and it was really sweet how much they clearly really liked each other and everything but i kind of wish some of the other subplots had been dropped or diminished in favor of more hc development i think that would have been cool

but anyway thats some of my thoughts and i really did enjoy the hell out of book 5 that was a riot and uhhh thanks to everyone who read these or commented *lends you spiritual energy through a high five*

#tgcf liveblog #it is Complete i can move on now #i actually have a lot more thoughts about hl because i uhhhh relate. to things. and have opinions due to my experiences #but its also quite Personal soooo i might just keep them tucked away #anyway im freeeeeee #mouse mumbles

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aintyourlove · 4 years

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All the kdramas that I’ve watched (2020 - part 1)

Disclaimer: I already made another two list that you can find here.This a part one, I decide to split so the post wouldn’t be so long. hope u guys like!

Revenge note 1:

It’s a high school one

It’s about this girl that will have to deal with a first breakup-, bullying, insecurities, first true love, friendship and also some revenge, why not right? lol

SOFT kdrama although the name suggest more dramatic things

a lot of farts jokes (like for real)

To the beautiful you:

If you like that movie “she’s the man” then you going to like it

Goo-Jae-hee decides to live in a dormitory as a boy and live with the one who gave her strength in the past and now she is determined to support him like he (unconsciously) did in the past

TOO MANY clichés that if it wasn’t so over do it probably wouldn't work so well, kinda of the charm of this dramas is bc it's too innocent and old

some things bothered me while watching, like: the main character just liked her bc he knew that she was a girl?it was that? I had this impression and I didn’t see much of his personality besides the obvious guy who don't care about nothing but will care forf her (of course)...

The best friend was funny and actually way more supportive than the other one; him didn't know that “he” was a girl and had to deal with this for a long time and for me this is huge and important even tho they joke about the whole time

Tempted:

Joy from RedVelvet is the main reason for me go to watch this one

Basically it’s a fanfic lol (but I mean all the kdramas are in some point :p)

It's about these three best friends; Choi Soo jin, Kwon Shi-hyun and Lee Soo-jo that comes from different but all them chaotic family's and as a form to build a wall from the pain and everything they become used to play with people who were in their way, for them it’s fun doing little revenges ... Nothing matter to them, except them. It’s in one of these “games’ that Eun Tae-hee(Joy) becomes the target. She is a victim to be seduced, to be tempted by Shin-yun. But thing about games and people are that they don’t stay the same, and everything could happen, everything can change, even the feelings, even the people, even the solid bonds.

Lee Soo Jo it’s a sweet one, I feel bad for him sometimes

Tae-hee is a mood, she is mature and have this force idk she wouldn’t let her head down and I love strong characters that just don’t buy some bullshits and literally go talk to make everything clear.

8/10

Itaewon Class:

It’s based on one webtoon what is pretty cool

The stories it’s about Saeyori, a guy that is convicted in his principles, his dad taught him to live his life as he wanted and to be a good person besides everything. When Sayeori dad’s pass away he swears to God a that it won't be for nothing and those who wrong him would it pay when the times come. So he carries for more than ten years a life plan to get back at the ones that wanted him to get on his knees.

Jo si yeo well: I was sometimes disappointed with her (and you will see why) but besides that she a character that I personally like, she is not just a girl, she has personality, and she stands for that; they said to us that she has a tendency to sociopath and a lot of her comer from that, I really really like her, she is what she is and not a boring girl that will always do the right thing that is BORINGGGG please more roles like that like people that can be good but have personal traces that are unique.

Has so many good choices of topics to be discussed and are relevant to not only young people but society in general; talks about trans gender, racism, bullying, like how you can change your life if you really put effort on it and that everybody has a choice to make it your own destiny

Cheese in the trap:

It’s about this girl, Hoong-Seol, she is the only one that suspect about the “generous, sympathy and handsome” guy of the university, he is the senior that everybody likes and despite all the weird things that surround him nobody seems to know him really well. But Hong Seol feels that something is strange and bc of that their ways started to inter-wise more and more and the doubts become a sign of...love?

Honestly even though it explained why he is that way I was kinda of “shocked” sometimes, and when she was accepting things (like really scary things (that in my personal opinion are NOT health but ok) bc of love I was like girrrl?? Get out of there now)

THE SECOND GUY CURSE I don’t even have to say that for most of the times the seconds guys are the best ones (the ones at least that shows more charisma or personality ...) but you know that they won't be together, in this case I thought that was insane...

Baek In-ha honestly? I love her uahuahuaauh best scenes best phrases she is indeed an icon.

8/10 :)

I Started Following Romance:

Super sweet and well-made it as a short drama

Only 10 episodes and it’s only 7/8 minutes each one

Modern and lovely way to represent how the youth deal with break-ups and social medias by these days with all the technologies and stuff

It’s about a girl that broke up but still see how her ex-boyfriend is doing by following him in social medias, that makes her really anxious and sad so move on it’s more than necessary. Social Medias could it be a way to not only meet people but reconnected them with themselves too

You should watch it like right now

10/10

Is it you, my girlfriend?:

it’s about a girl who accidentally declares herself girlfriend of one of the most famous guys on her school, he is totally the opposite of her, and even tho he is known by the entire school she doesn’t acknowledge him until he approaches her asking if is she the one...the one who is his girlfriend

it's a high school so has all that we love, its sweet and funny and there’s a season 2 which is good as well

8/10

link to watch on youtube

A-TEEN - Rumors Spread About ME:

it passes in high school so the story goes around between this two girls who are friends with each other and has the same name, but are opposites in personality. Even though that wasn’t a problem for them the rumors that start to spread in the school makes the friendship collapse and a name maybe is not the only thing that they share

it was pretty nice, I really like some actors in there, the story’s cool, they talk about bullying, friendship, first love and they have season 2 that is pretty cool too!

9/10

link to watch on youtube

LIKE:

the story starts with main girl selecting people for her new project, a project that she is doing to prove to herself that be at the art school was the right choice, but more than discovering herself she may be aware that not only her senior, who was her crush since the beginning is watching her but another two guys, that are closer than she would it expected

talks about friendship, about felling demotivated sometimes, first love, sexual harassment with minor in schools...

The girl from heart signal 2 is there :) (which I thought it was really cool bc I'm too into heart signal these days)

8.9/10

link to watch on youtube

Romance talking:

This one was one of my favs bc I kinda like more when they’re in college;

it's a story about a girl who was super into a guy whom host an internet talk show where he mostly talks about romantic topics. Besides that unilateral interest she lives a normal life, almost boring by her point of view. She works at a bar and in one of common day her ex-boyfriend appears there, and she listens to him badmouthing her, even though she doesn’t care about him anymore it hurts, so she gets back on him, which could be a bad idea later when she was alone if wasn’t for someone... someone that she doesn’t believe its out of her computer screen...

the girl is so real, like sometimes we really feel angry, bored, deeply in love or jealous/envy I think that the actress did a great job here

10/10

link to watch on youtube

Weightlifting Fairy Kim Bok-joo:

I saw that Jisoo was here and later I discover that the main actress is the iconic one who did Baek-In-ha in Cheese in the trap (Jisoo doesn’t have a big role tho..) but my other fav Kang Ki-young otherwise has a role as Bok-joon’s uncle heheh

Kim Bok Joo is an weightlifting girl, who is proud of her sport and department in college but sometimes she feels insecure when comes to sensitive topics as love or how guys sees her. As a way to hide those insecurities Bok-Joon doesn’t let anyone says nothing to her and deal with provokes, becoming known in campus bc of her temper. But when a certain guy shows kindness towards her all she wants is become girlie and delicate. What she doesn’t know is that this guys is the old brother of an old childhood friend that she meet again on campus and likes to “mess” with her making her going crazy...

its funny, sweet, the main actress is awesome, the main couple is lovely and you should watch it now

Sorry if wrote anything wrong. All the dramas here are awesome, hope you guys find some new ones to watch it!

Use the mask and don't forget to clean yourself properly, we are still in a pandemic but this will pass!

All love<3

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lofitojii · 7 years

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Toxic [VIII]

Summary: “We all know him to be a proud, unpleasant sort of man; but this would be nothing if you really liked him.” -Jane Austen, Pride and Prejudice. His dark demeanor is nothing more than a mystery to you. His dark past explains the reasoning of his desired passion to completely destroy every inch of your innocence.

Warning: Angst [M]

Word Count: 4.9k

AN: This is the second to last post. The next part will be the last part of this series! I really hope you guys liked the story. :)

Toxic Masterlist

“Holy shit,” Kyungsoo cursed, his voice soft due to the early hours of the morning. “Love? What did you say back?” You brought your knees to your chest, resting your head against your kneecaps as you help the phone close to your ear.

“I said I love him too,” you replied, still replaying the moment over and over in your head. Your heart still raced every time you thought of it.

“Well,” Kyungsoo started. “Where is he now?” You looked over at Chanyeol sleeping soundly in your bed, his lips parted slightly as he let out small snores. His hair was a mess, covering the majority of his forehead.

“He’s asleep in my bed,” you finally replied, remembering you were still on the phone with your friend. Kyungsoo was quiet, knowing you had more to say, just waiting for you to speak up. You couldn’t help but smile, admiring the boy that was a few feet away from you. “I’m in love with him, Soo.” You heard Kyungsoo shuffle around a bit in the background, is exhale signaling that he heard.

“I know you are. I still don’t like the guy, but if you’re happy, I’m happy.” You were happy, happier than ever. You never thought you would ever find someone else, never thinking that someone like Chanyeol would fall for someone like you. It was a shock to everyone, not just you. Chanyeol was different than you were, his dark demeanor contradicting your sensitive and pure attitude. It didn’t make sense, if anything it was the furthest possibility from your mind when you first met him. Yet here he was, fast asleep in your bed as you sat in the window bay in your room, admiring from a distance. “I’ll see you New Years, Right?”

“So you’re going to the party?” You raised an eyebrow, Kyungsoo’s small scoff causing you to smile at his reaction.

“I’m bringing Luna. I don’t want to be stuck at home with my parents.” You had called Kyungsoo that morning, that giddy feeling bubbling up in your stomach as you waited for him to pick up. You didn’t know who else to call, Kyungsoo being your closest friend. You would have called Lisa, but it felt weird knowing she was Chanyeol’s ex. It has been weird with her the past few months, knowing that Sehun had mentioned to you about the two's history. Lisa kept her distance, and you didn’t know if you wanted to keep it that way. “Hey Y/n, I have to go. Tell Chanyeol I said hi. And Y/n?”

“Yeah?”

“I’m really happy for you.” You felt a smile creep across your face as Kyungsoo mentioned his happiness for you. You brought your phone down to your side, looking at the photo of you and Chanyeol that you had taken one morning when you woke up next to him, his sleeping face being too cute not to catch.

You looked up, seeing Chanyeol still fast asleep in your bed. You got up, walking over and placing a small kiss to his forehead before leaving him to sleep a little longer. You made your way downstairs, coming to your brother at the kitchen counter with his laptop propped up in front of him. “Been up long?” You asked, grabbing his attention. Jongdae looked up from his screen, letting out a long yawn.

“Maybe an hour. I had a video call with some company overseas,” he replied, rubbing the sleep from his eyes. He closed his laptop, moving it to the side. You poured him a cup of coffee, placing it in front of him. He hummed a quiet thanks, bringing it to his lips as he took a small sip. “So, how was your night? You and Chanyeol left kind of early.”

“It was good. Just had a long day yesterday with the drive,” you shrugged, leaning against the counter.

“Y/n,” Jongdae started, taking off his glasses and setting them to the side. “I ran into Joongi last night at the party. He showed up a little after the two of you left.” You rolled your eyes as he mentioned Joongi’s name, not really wanting to hear what he had to say. You were over Joongi and his manipulative lies. The last thing you wanted to hear was that your brother was talking to him. “He told me something about Chanyeol.”

“Well don’t believe anything Joongi says. He-”

“I’m not trying to start anything,” Jongdae cut you off. “I’m just looking out for you. He told me that Chanyeol is a player? That he’s had a string of woman ever since he started school there? Sleeping with his professor? He’s been arrested a numerous amount of times for public disturbance, assaulting an officer and other students. He has a bit of a history. I’m just looking out for you and want you to be happy and I can see that Chanyeol does that, but I also want you to be careful.” You knew a small percentage of what Chanyeol had done during his time at school, every time you found more out it was hard to hear. “I can tell you didn’t know that, did you?”

“I did.” You were partially lying. You knew he was constantly getting into fights, having a bit of a reputation. You didn’t know about the professor incident, your heart aching at the thought. “Did Joongi mention why we broke up?”

“He didn’t need to. I talked to Chanyeol last night,” he replied. “I came home and he was outside in the back on the phone with someone. Told me about how Joongi had been cheating on you for a couple of months. Almost a year. I was about ready to go and beat the shit out of the guy until Chanyeol told me he already did.”

Your head began to spin, the imagine of Joongi telling you he loved you as he was constantly with other girls making you sick to your stomach.

“He doesn’t seem like the guy Joongi was telling me about,” Jongdae said quietly, getting up from his spot. “I like Chanyeol. Mom and dad like Chanyeol. I don’t know much about him but you know what they say, sometimes the good is brought out in a person when they have a reason to. You may be this guy's reason.” Jongdae was always very smart when it came to people. He majored in psychology, graduating this last year and already doing research on the human mind that was taking off. He was smart, the one person that knew you better than anyone else. Jongdae pulled you into a side hug, leaning over and kissing your temple. “Now, the real question is, how is he going to react to Auntie M’s personal questions.”

“Oh god,” you laughed, forgetting that you had your family party that evening. You were soon taking from your conversation with your brother to Chanyeol walking in, rubbing the sleep from his eyes as he made his way into the kitchen. You couldn’t help but smile at his vulnerable state, walking over and pressing a kiss to his cheek.

“Rough night?” Jongdae asked, winking over in your direction, causing your face to burn bright red.

“Damn it, Jongdae!” You yelled going over to hit his arm. He just laughed, trying to dodge your hit but failing.

“I’ll see you two kids later. I have an appointment with a client at the office today. I’m bringing Minjee to the party tonight and I really want you to meet her.” Jongdae said his goodbyes to both you and Chanyeol, leaving you two alone in the kitchen.

“I swear I thought we were quiet,” you said, looking up at Chanyeol. He laughed, pulling you into his arms and pressing a small kiss to your swollen lips.

“You were anything but quiet last night babe.” You felt your face go red once more, thinking that no matter what Chanyeol said, you would never not feel the butterflies.

You had many questions you wanted to ask Chanyeol, so much that you felt like you didn’t know. You knew at some point, you would have to confront him. It was Christmas eve and you didn’t want to ruin the holidays by making Chanyeol upset. Instead, you were going to enjoy your time, let Chanyeol have a good Christmas with your family.

“What’s the plan for today?” Chanyeol asked, taking the coffee mug from your hand and drinking it himself.

“Well we have the day to ourselves but tonight is my family's Christmas party. I would love if you came.” Chanyeol raised an eyebrow, setting the mug down.

“Hmm now why would I go to my girlfriends family Christmas party after I met her parents and spent the night in her childhood bedroom?” Chanyeol smiled down at you, leaning in once more for a kiss, this time letting it linger a bit longer. “I’m excited to meet your family.” You knew you had fallen in love with Chanyeol, everything about him being absolutely intoxicating. But you couldn’t help but feel yourself bubble up with questions.

One question at a time you thought to yourself.

“Can I ask you a question?” you swallowed your fear, trying your best to tiptoe as best as you could.

“Ask away,” he pressed.

You took a deep breath before finally speaking. “How serious are we?” You didn’t know it was that question that you were going to ask, it just came out. Chanyeol was a bit taken back by your question as much as you were. “I’m sorry. You don’t have to answer that.”

“Well I love you. I love being with you,” Chanyeol started, ignoring your statement. “I’m serious about being with you.”

“Then why do you continue to keep secrets?” With what he was saying, you felt it was okay to press further with the questions. Chanyeol furrowed his eyebrows, chewing on the inside of his cheek. He didn’t answer for what felt like forever until he finally exhaled.

“What do you want to know?”

“Everything. Your childhood, your family? You’re so secretive.”

“Y/n…” His voice was deep and intimidating. He was just as irritated as you were, annoyed even. You knew you were crossing a boundary, but Jongdae once said that sometimes you have to be uncomfortable with someone before you really know them.

“I just want to know you better,” you finally whispered. “We can take baby steps.” Chanyeol rubbed his hand over his face, stress evident in his actions. He took your hand into his, placing it under his shirt and over the familiar scar you had taken notice to multiple times.

“That,” he started, letting you gently rub over the rough skin. “That is from when I got into a fight with my foster dad at age 13. He was hurting my little siblings at the time and I stepped in and he attacked me.” You were in shock, the way he was so serious as he stared you dead in the eye. You didn’t want to make eye contact because you didn’t know how to react. “I had a really hard childhood and I don’t talk about it for a reason. Because when people find out, they treat me differently. I don’t need your pity Y/n. I had enough of that growing up when I was jumping from foster home to foster home. You want to take pity, take it somewhere else.” He pulled away, turning away from you as he began to fill his coffee cup up again.

You didn’t know what else to do so you came up behind him, wrapping your arms around his torso. You pressed your lips to his shoulder blade, resting your cheek against his back. “Thank you,” you whispered, having nothing else to say. Chanyeol let out a deep sigh, turning around and wrapping his arms around you.

“Why don’t we go out to breakfast? I’m starving.” You agreed to his offer, wanting to just spend the day with Chanyeol. You knew you had more questions, and so did he, but the both of you knew it wasn’t the right time. When the time was right, he would tell you.

You and Chanyeol decided on having breakfast at a local diner that you would go to after every football game in high school. You remembered tagging along with Joongi and his friends, never really getting along with them but going anyways to support him.

“What’ll it be kids?” The waitress asked, coming over to your table and taking your order. She took the menus, leaving the two of you alone to enjoy your morning.

“So this party tonight. Is it formal wear like it was last night or brown ugly sweater? Maybe like a casual button up?” Chanyeol asked, bringing his coffee cup to his lips. You just laughed, shaking your head.

“Just go as you,” you replied, leaning your head against the palm of your head. “I don’t want you to feel like you have to pretend to be something you’re not.” Chanyeol mimicked your actions, having his face only inches away from you. “I’m not going to lie, if you kept your hair pink, I don’t think my uncles would let you get away with that.” Chanyeol laughed, pressing a small kiss to your nose before pulling away. As he sat there, staring out the window at the newly coated white streets, his face beaming from the glowing outside.

“Stop staring at me you dork,” Chanyeol finally laughed, catching you in the action of staring. You couldn’t help it. You couldn’t help the fact you were completely in love with Chanyeol and every little thing about him. You couldn’t help that he was the most beautiful thing that stood out to you.

“Well funny running into you two here.” The voice was all too familiar, the way it hissed from your left. You didn’t want to look over, not wanting to give him any sort of attention, not after what he told Jongdae last night. It wasn’t his to tell, and for that, you felt more than just a dislike for the man standing inches away from you.

“What the hell do you want, man?” Chanyeol sighed, looking up at Joongi in announce. “I’m getting tired of your face just popping up.”

“Not my fault you two decided to come home to where I happen to live,” Joongi smirked, his attitude spiking as he could tell he was bothering the both of you. “I’m surprised you’re still with this scum after what I heard about him. It just amazes me-”

“It’s none of your business, Joongi,” you snapped back, finally looking up from your twiddling thumbs. The last thing you wanted was to give in to his little manipulative actions but you couldn’t stay quiet any longer. “What happens between me and Chanyeol, is none of your business. What goes on in his life is, you guessed it, none of your business. You keep it up, I’m going to have to do something about it myself. So take your high and mighty shitty attitude somewhere else, like all those asses your head was up this past year. Bye now.” Your sudden outburst took not only everyone around you, but yourself, by surprise. You didn’t expect to blow up like that but it felt good to get it out in the open.

Joongi huffed, stomping away in a dramatic movement, leaving you and a very wide eyed Chanyeol. “Well at least now I know not to get on your bad side.” You were over everyone butting their two sense into yours and Chanyeol’s relationship. You get that people were nervous for you, hell you were nervous for yourself and that was stressful as is. You didn’t need everyone and their dog barking at you, telling you that he wasn’t right.

There was more to Chanyeol, more than what he was giving off. When you first met him, he was rude, didn’t care for just about anything. But while he was bickering with you and pushing people out of the way, he was acing all of his classes, helping his professors teach lessons, doing his best in school. Yes, he was slipping in the social aspect, creating a bad name, but that didn’t matter to him. He didn’t care for his social status, he only cared about whether or not he was passing school.

When you first got together with him, after that night, he really showed a different side of himself. You remember going over to his place, none of the other boys being home, just being Chanyeol. He was in his bedroom, working on an essay for one of his harder classes. He explained to you, his research, how long he had been working on it, something that even you didn’t expect. You hated the fact people kept bringing up the negative about him.

You were pulled from your thoughts when Chanyeol’s phone started to ring, pulling your attention towards his direction. He pulled it out of his pocket, rolling his eyes and setting it down on the table. You were quick to snatch it, looking at the name flash across the screen. It was Junmyeon. “Answer it.” You pressed, handing it over to him.

“No.”

“Fine.” You slid your thumb across the screen, bringing it up to your ear. “Hey Junmyeon, it’s Y/n. Chanyeol is in the bathroom right now.”

“Oh no worries,” Junmyeon replied. “How is your break going?”

“Good,” you replied. “He’s loving it here in the middle of nowhere.” Chanyeol rolled his eyes, trying to plead for you to hang up. You just ignored him, lifting your hand to stop him from asking anymore.

“Sounds like it. I’m actually glad you answered. I was wondering if you and Chanyeol would want to join us for dinner. Our treat. We live here in Seoul so we would love to pay for you two to come out here when you get the chance. Don’t tell him about it.”

“I would love that,” you tried to hide it away from Chanyeol. “I will send you my number and we will go from there.”

“He’s back isn’t he?” You heard Junmyeon laugh on the other end. “Okay. We will talk again soon. Happy Holiday’s Y/n. And tell my dumb brother I said hello.” You hung up, handing your phone back over to Chanyeol who had a confused look on his face.

“He just said he misses you and wanted to get ahold of my dad for some school stuff,” you tried to play off, knowing that Chanyeol would easily call your bluff. Chanyeol just shrugged, not wanting to go on anymore about the small conversation you had with Junmyeon. Instead, he said something different.

“If he wants us to visit, I’ll set something up so we can do that.”

“Wait, really?” Chanyeol leaned back in his seat, propping his elbows up along the back of his booth.

“You brought me here to meet your family. I want you to meet mine. Well, my brothers. He’s married and has one little girl whom I just adore. I think you’d really like his family.” You were excited that Chanyeol was stepping out of his comfort zone with you, agreeing to go with you to your family party then inviting you to meet his? It was a small gesture, something you shouldn’t be so excited about, but you were. This was big for him, for the both of you.

After breakfast, you headed back to your place to get ready for the family party your parents were throwing. Chanyeol had helped your mother with some light cooking, making just about everything but dessert. You and Jongdae helped your father decorate the living room area, hanging up lights, small decorations just to make the place a little more homey. After you had finished, your mother rushed in, placing a plate of cookies on the coffee table. “Okay go get ready you two. Family will be here soon.”

You walked up the stairs, coming to Chanyeol’s open door, him pacing back and forth in his room. You walked over, slowly opening as you tried not to scare him. “Is everything okay?” He looked up, running a hand through his hair as he slipped his phone back into his pocket.

“Everything’s fine. I have to go do something.” He began to put on his jacket, rushing around the small room, in search of his keys. You were confused as to why he was in a hurry, his actions causing you to be a bit worried as to why he was so upset. He stopped in front of you, looking down at your furrowed eyebrows. He lifted your chin, leaning down and pressing a small kiss to your lips. “I’ll be back really soon. I just have to go take care of something.”

“Chanyeol,” you called out, grabbing his attention before he could walk down the stairs. He turned around, looking at you with his big doe eyes. “I love you.” He couldn’t help but smile, walking over and pressing a kiss to your forehead.

“I love you too.” And with that, he walked down the steps and out of the house. You walked over towards the hallway window, watching him pull out of the driveway in his car, driving off down the road.

“Where is he going?” Jongdae asked, looking over your shoulder. You shrugged, crossing your arms over your chest. You had an uneasy feeling about what he was doing. He didn’t even give you a chance to ask what he was doing. He was so fast to quickly move past you, trying his best to avoid any conversation. You didn’t know when he was going to be back but you could only pray he was staying out of trouble.

Your family had arrived, aunts and uncles filling the living room, your grandmother on your mom's side going over how you used to spend Christmas with her when your parents were working. You loved it when your family came over, being able to catch up with them. You felt like you would have had a better time if Chanyeol was there, but he still hadn’t returned. It had been a couple of hours now.

“Where’s Chanyeol?” Jongdae finally asked, looking around the small living room with you. “Everyone was looking forward to meeting him.” You were about to reply when you felt your phone vibrate in your pocket, slipping it out and looking at the unknown number. You excused yourself from Jongdae, answering the call regardless of not knowing who it was.

“Hello?” you asked, awaiting a response.

“Y/n,” you heard his voice said. “It’s Junmyeon. Chanyeol’s been arrested.”

“What?” You felt your heart just break, the words echoing through your head. “What happened? Where are you?”

“I’m down at the police station. They called me a little over an hour ago and I just got here. Can you come down? I’ll explain more once you get here.” You agreed, quickly hanging up and pulling Jongdae aside.

“I have to go down to the police station. Can I borrow your car?” Jongdae didn’t question your request. Instead, he handed you his keys, giving you a concerned look. “I’ll let you know what happens.” You rushed out of the house, hopping into Jongdae’s car and racing off towards the police station.

Your mind was racing with what could have happened. Was he okay? Did something happen to him? You were nervous, the pit in your stomach growing as you tried to hold back any threatening tears. You didn’t know what to expect, not wanting to think of the worst just quite yet.

You arrived, seeing Junmyeon sitting in a chair closest to the door. He was quick to spot you, getting up as soon as he saw you walking towards him. “What happened?” You asked, entering the building. Junmyeon pulled you into a hug before sitting you down. As Junmyeon rubbed his legs, you could tell he was nervous.

“Chanyeol,” Junmyeon started. “Chanyeol beat the shit out of Joongi. Joongi is in the hospital with a broken rib and hasn’t woken up.” Your body was numb, not really knowing what to feel anymore. You were confused, light headed at the thought of Joongi in the hospital. “If he doesn’t wake up Y/n…. Chanyeol could get life in prison.”

“W-Why? Wh-What happened-d?” You could feel your body just shutter as the words escaped your mouth.

“Chanyeol was meeting someone, I don’t know who exactly, but he was upset about it. Went to the local bar and drank himself to a point where just about anything could set him off and Joongi was there. One thing lead to the next and I get a call from the police station. You know how Chanyeol get’s when he’s drunk, he’s a ticking time bomb.” You felt as if you were no longer on earth, feeling like the whole place was fleeting beneath you. Your body felt heavy, your head still in the clouds as you tried to wrap the idea of Chanyeol being in jail.

“Hey,” the cop grabbed your attention, your eyes following to the boy who was still handcuffed. “The man he hit woke up, isn’t pressing charges. Since the other guy threw the first hit, Mr. Park here is free to go.” He unlocked the silver cuffs, letting Chanyeol walk in front of him. He was no longer drunk, just looking like he had taken a beating from hell. Junmyeon got to his feet, guiding Chanyeol out the door, letting you follow behind.

“Hey Junmyeon? Will you give me and him a second?” You whispered, Junmyeon agreeing as he walked back inside to fill out some paperwork. Chanyeol leaned against his brothers car, letting his head fall back so he was looking at the sky. “So what? You have nothing to say for yourself?” He didn’t reply. “What happened?”

“He wouldn’t shut up about you,” Chanyeol whispered. “I can’t let him walk around like that thinking it’s okay.”

“What he says doesn’t affect me anymore, Chanyeol. You can’t go around starting fights like that.” Chanyeol lowered his head, the look of defeat vivid in his line of sight.

“I was just trying to protect you.”

“I don’t need your protection.” You felt the space around you tighten up as you choked back tears. Chanyeol lifted his head, looking at you dead in the eye. You wanted to look away, to just let this be over with, but you couldn’t. You also couldn’t look past the face he had nearly killed your ex-boyfriend, the way he lost his anger. “You should go home with Junmyeon tonight.” Chanyeol was silent, his head hanging low as he focused on the ground in front of him. He didn’t argue, didn’t protest.

“I’ll make sure he gets the rest he needs. Thank you Y/n,” Junmyeon said, placing a hand on your shoulder and giving it a small squeeze. You gave him a small smile, thanking him. “You should go home and get some rest. I’ll text you when we make it back to my place.”

“Thank you Junmyeon.” Chanyeol had yet to look up at you, his posture being limp as Junmyeon helped him around the car to the other side. You felt as if you wanted to cry, but couldn’t. You choked on your own words, walking back to your brother's car. It was silent, sitting there in the parking lot of the small police station. You watched the snow gently hit the windshield, building up for you had yet to start up the car.

You didn’t know how you were feeling, your body being numb. When you finally started the car, the snow had already made a coat on the ground, covering up the exposed roads and sidewalks. The drive home was quiet, listening to the way the car drove through the wet puddles, the heat blaring against your sensitive skin.

You pulled into the driveway, putting the car in park. That’s when you could feel yourself losing control. You let the tears fall, the pain beginning to grow as the image of Chanyeol flashed through your mind. He was so defeated, knowing that he had upset you. He had been trying so hard to be better and you felt like it was all washed away tonight, going back to day one with him. It hurt you, it hurt knowing that he had snapped and you couldn’t be there to help him.

You walked inside your house, Jongdae sitting in the living room. He peered over his shoulder, seeing you make your way inside. You took a seat next to him, resting your head against his shoulder. Jongdae didn’t say anything, he just let you rest your head against him, knowing that you weren’t okay without having to say anything. You could feel your eyes get heavy as you stared at the blank TV in front of you. Your eyes were swollen, making it hard to really keep them open but you knew it would be almost impossible to fall asleep.

Jongdae let out a deep sigh, wrapping an arm around your shoulders as he hugged you close to him. “It’s what he needs right now. He will be okay eventually, but he needs this and so do you.” Jongdae was more than right, but you didn’t want him to be. What you wanted was to be with Chanyeol, cuddled up to him in his bed that you happened to miss so much. You wanted things to be okay, to be perfect. But they weren't going to be, and it was hard to come to terms with.

This is what’s best for him, you thought to yourself. For us.

#park chanyeol #chanyeol #exo #exo fan fic #exo fan fiction #park chanyeol fan fic #chanyeol fan fiction #angst #chanyeol angst #fan fiction

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taytaybooks · 6 years

Text

WHAT I LOVE ABOUT MUSICALS THREAD #2: AMÉLIE

In the previews where they each hold a prop on a pole and then all together the props assemble the fly they all sang about ahhh😍😍 it’s so clever

PROLOGUE: TIMES ARE HARD FOR DREAMERS

The instrumental- it’s so soothing

“I can see the world I’m dreeaming…all arouuund me”

The change from soothing instrumental to jaunty music 😍

WORLD’S BEST DAD

“As my heart fills with love” The “ba bums” and “ahhs” after that line to show her heartbeat ahh and how everyone (the ensemble) hide behind the door and comes out when they sing the “ahhs” for the heartbeat and how they dance oh this show is too much😍

“We can keep her heartbeat stable

Your school is the kitchen table now”

“Would you like to name him?”

“Fluffy”

*looks of disdain and confusion*

WORLD’S BEST FRIEND

The instrumental at the start😍

The fact that a grown man wears a fish costume on his head and sings onstage I mean wow😂

“Listen to your crazy mom droning on now I’m her bla bla bla bla bla” lmao

“Your parents are crazy

But you can count on meeee” the dancing in this scene oml and the fact that a man dressed as a fish holds a smaller fish and smacks it on the ground so it “flops around”

When the instrumental turns slow again😭 And it’s meant to be a sad part but the fish is scootering around on stage singing “goodbye” in a warbled voice😅

WORLD’S BEST MOM

“We’ll be spending the day at Notre Dame” I love how this is sung

“Now the whole world of Paris picks up speed” I love the way everyone on the train moves forward and backward to show the train’s movement

The “ahhs” before Amandine prays for a son

The nuns/holy people with outrageously huge hats😂 And then the holy person with a dinosaur head on his head😂😂

The dummy hitting Amandine and killing her😂😂 and the chalk on the backdrop depicting a dead silhouette with “mom” next to it

Her dad memorialising the mom with a gnome she hated😂😂😂

TIMES ARE HARD FOR DREAMERS

PIPPA SOO IN GENERAL TBH

“All of these towns I’ve never heard of racing paaaast”

“It isn’t what I have, it’s only what I have in store

That matters now, the past can only fade!”

“And I might be a dreamer

But it’s gotten me this far” this resonates with me idk why

“My own museum full of paintings I look through!

Where everything is clear!

It isn’t where I am

it’s only where I’ll go from here

That matters now!

And I am not afraaaid!

As everything I’ll ever need appears

This is how my world gets maaaaade” especially that last note😍

The set change right before the song finishes😍

GOING ROUND IN CIRCLES deserved to stay on the cast recording☕️🐸

THE COMMUTE

“Stopping atop St. Martin’s canal

Skipping a stooone”

“She cracks créme brûlée”

“And how many couples in Paris are having an orgasm right at this moment! ….Fifteen!” Because every Broadway show needs some nasty in there

“Later this evening her life will chanaaange”

THE BOTTLE DROPS

THE FACT THAT A FRIENDS CLIP IS PLAYING ON THE TV SET AHHHHH

Honestly the instrumental to this song and like every song is just so beautiful😍😍

“Fingers slip, a bottle drops, and falling in slow motion”

The instrumental change😍😍😍

“Slowly crack the treasure open”

“A watch that’s waiting to be wound

A treasure waiting to be found

I am Howard Carter stepping into Tutankhamen’s tomb” ahhh

And while the ensemble is speaking I love the small “Give back the box” and “I have to try” in the background

“If I did I could be like Lady Diiii!” That note tho

THREE FIGS

is so jaunty oml yes

“You’re my best friends inside the Seeeeeine”

“Figs all in a BUNCH” the way he says bunch cracks me up every time

“Figaro is bluuue

There’s nothing on his plate

What’s Lucien to doooo?

He finds the guy a date!“

THE GIRL WITH THE GLASS

“Why is it that someone so young and so full of life spends every night alone at her window?

…Unless all her friends are dwarves and I can’t see them"😂😂 good old Dufayel

“Are you an artist?

Every day I come to a canvas with palette and brush

and I ask myself the same question” shit just got deep guys

“Paintings, these paintings"😍

“But in the end it always comes down to…heeeeer”

“But the girl with the glass looks away”

“Just a young girl who doesn’t belong to anywhere,

anywheeeere or anyoooooone” this really shows how lost Amélie can be and its relatable af TBH

HOW TO TELL TIME

“Look down, Monsieur Bretodeau, doooown” I love how she says this honestly😍😂

“On the ledge, a metal box”

“Unlock the box”

“Here’s how to tell time

How to tell time

How to teeeeell

A cognac please!” This whole part is sung so well ahhh

TOUR DE FRANCE

So jaunty and upbeat I love it

“Listen to the squeak of the bakery cart

Leaving a trail of breadcrumbs”

“Looking through the glass

focused on the feast in the grocery window” I love the way she sings this gah Pippa you angel😍😍

“An envelope opens

A cat in a hallway

A filament flashes, flickers and dies

And there goes a hat

Thrown in the air

Thrown in the aiiir” The ensemble around them and the jazz hands ahhhh

“I can feel every stranger in Paris just waiting to collide

How a heart can pull like a moon as we circle each other

Then crashing together

We end up open wide"😍😍

The "ahhs” before she sings “I can see everything clearly now from heeeeere”

GOODBYE, AMÉLIE

The video showing Amélie doing good around the world😂😂😂

The fact that it’s sung be an Elton John lookalike like whattttt and also how the lookalike has a glittery suit and purple hair😂

“We’re an ocean of rowboats you decided to save” I just really like this line

The “oohs” in the background ahhh

Oh, where will we go

Oh, who will appease us” the way they sing this😍

“Saving orphans!

Stopping fires!

I’ve got the high notes and

I’m singing with the choir!

YEAAAAAAAH!” SHE GOT THE HIGH NOTES ALRIGHT DAMN GIRL

BACKYARD

“I’m thinking of shaving my head

And I really want to try crack” ok the fact that the Pippa Soo said this is explanation enough

“Dad you should come and visit me”

“Nope” so blunt😂

“You’re coming with me” cheeky Amélie

The gnome getting excited about going with the Stewardess mmhmmm

WHEN THE BOOTH GOES BRIGHT

I love how the ensemble dresses up and ‘takes photos’ during the song

“There’s the girl you were

There’s the trip abroad

There’s your father’s smile

There’s the face of God” this has like a really cool nostalgic feeling to it

“There’s when she said yes

There’s the next ten years

There’s the loneliness when she disappears” nostalgia and sadness😍

“What’s the use of trying to hide

Or tearing yourself in two” This seems literal and metaphorical and I love it

SISTER’S PICKLE

“You have to give it back to him. Or you could imagine relating to someone you never meet, build no relationship. Become a nun!”

*actually dresses up as a nun as a disguise to give the book back to Nino in a FUCKING sex shop ok then Amélie*

“Can I help you?”

“No just browsing"😂😂😂

BASICALLY THE WHOLE SONG LMAO

“He’ll think that I’m a nun

And I am not a nun

He’ll think that I am chaste

And I’m not that chaste

Or I could run awaaaay

Leave his book on the shelf

By the lube and the lingerieeee” out of context this is very weird but I love it😂

“It’s hard to go unseen

At least in this instance with so little distance between” I love this because everyone tries to hide the bad parts but you can’t really do that once you get to know someone well which is sort of what she’s afraid of, but not really?

“I’m not finished with the boy- I mean the book

So I will hold him- hold it till tomorrow” mmhmm girl suuuure keep being in denial sister

And that part at the end where the instrumental changes and ahhhh

“This is so weird” haha no kidding Nino😂

HALFWAY

THIS SONG IS A MASTERPIECE

The instrumental gahhh I swear this song makes me cry

The red fabric backdrop with the equations and waves projected onto it is so cool😍

“But whenever the boat gets halfway there

There is always halfway more”

“In my mother’s schoolhouse

There was always halfway to goo

To gooooo”

“I hear you breathing"😂😂😂

“Who are you?”

“I’m a mystery wrapped in an enigma trapped in a paradox disappearing into thin air”

“Me too"😂

"Little boat, big ocean

I’m the girl with the copper spyglass

who prays that today she will spot her shore

All at once a lighthouse

All at once through the copper spyglass

A light telling me to lean in on the oar

I start to row

But before I can get anywhere

From point A to point B

I am at that kitchen table

where I’ll always be at sea"😍😍😍 this part always gets me when I’m feeling lost and alone and I love the visual projection of it with Amélie moving towards Nino and the sailboat projected onto the red fabric moving towards him too, but then both the boat and Amélie stop and move back away from him ahhh😍💔

"Little boat big oceaaaan” ahh Pippa why is your voice so magical

WINDOW SEAT

“Unsuspended in mid-air And I can see everything from here”

“If I could reach you from Machu Picchu

Then I would say everything I would give anything” this is sweet even if it’s fabricated haha

THERE’S NO PLACE LIKE GNOME

Basically the fact that a grown man is dressed as a gnome and singing this fucking song lmao

I love how they project the Polaroids for the audience to see

Also the fact that the flight attendant/stewardess and the gnome have a little romance going on

“I admit he looks good as a guard

But I want him back in my backyard”

“Do you see that crack in his clay”

“His black paint’s fading to grey”

“Travelling the world is tremendous

But for a garden gnome it’s gotta be hard” poor guy just wants his damn gnome back man

“The stewardesses, they always wonder, doesn’t matter where I roam

She asks "are you one of Santa’s elves?”

And I say “ma'am I am a gnome”

“Back before these feelings made me feeeel thingsss” this is so relatable honestly

“Dad this is Suzaaaanne” girl I see you😂 but seriously Amélie is so pure she matchmakes her own dad and boss gah

THIN AIR

“The frame tries to hide you

Just like a disguise

But I know that face

From the look in your eyes

So I’m reaching out to you”

“Whooooo are you now

When all youuu have is thiiin aiir around youuuu”

“It’s easy to vanish when no one’s around

Your footsteps fall silent as snow on the ground

And I may be hammered but I can hear my heart pound

And it’s reaching out to youuu

Reaching out to youuuuu”

As I’m typing this I’m realising I very well may just be in love with the whole song….

Also ADAM CHANLER-BERAT

“It’s too easy to disappear these days

There you go but nobody sees it

You leave a photo behind for a stranger to see

But now you’re so close I swear I can feel you

No more stories just show me the real you

And I promise that I’ll let you see the real me” awwww Nino😍

“So who are you now

When all I see is a face that hides way love until

You’re alone in a place you

Hide away until you’re alooooone

With thin aiiiiiiiiiiir

Arouuuuund you” 😍😍😍especially how the first line is sung

WRITING ON THE WALL

Amélie’s disguise when she spray paints the quote lmaooo😂

So this song is pretty short but it sounds so ethereal and beautiful😍

Like honestly who would even think it’d be a random as quote from an aspiring writer😂😂

BLUE ARROW SUITE

SUCH A BEAUTIFUL SONG I LOVE IT WITH ALL MY HEART

The soft, magical sounding instrumental after “bring five francs”

“Here on a hill

There sits a great cathedral

Where I’ve left a trail

That only goes so far

Here I can keep him moving forward

And keep things as they are

Halfway to love

And just close enough

To Sacre-Couer"😍😍😍 it’s so beautifully sung and the words ahhh

"I know my heart Is speaking with a murmur

Making the sound that only I can hear

All I can manage is a whisper

Of this heartbeat trapped inside

Here in this place

Grant me the grace

To be amplified” and then the instrumental changes ahhh it’s so beautiful

The hats the ensemble in the carousel are wearing😂😂

“Maybe I can try and stay

Just stand right here

Here he comes!

Screw that!

Run away!” Amélie is forever relatable and so cute😂😍

And then the “ahhs” after the last verse (if you saw my Anastasia post you probably realised I have a thing for “ahhs”)

THE LATE NINO QUINCAMPOIX

The fact that she’s so paranoid and has such an overactive imagination that this whole song is basically her imagining a scenario where he gets hit and almost dies

The part where the ensemble joins in😍

“Current flows through Nino’s arteries

Which stops his heart

As train parts tear his limbs apaaaart” lovely imagery😂😂 and their reactions lmaoo

“Who has time for a guy like that

For a guy who doesn’t know

How to tell time

How to tell

Ahhhhhhh"😍😍 when Nino arrives and everyone else goes crazy lmao😂😂

A BETTER HAIRCUT

The instrumental is so jaunty?upbeat? Idk I just know that I love it

"Everything was going perfect

In the circus

Until the day he dropped me

And then dropped me for the tattooed lady”

“She broke her leg in seven places”

“I did"😂😅 the usual you know

"And it seems that every single guy I know

Has another lady on the side show”

“You know our girl’s a fragile egg”

“Don’t break her heart”

“Or break her leg"😂 this whole song goes from funny to sweet lmao

"She’s not a waitress who will take your order”

“Bring your food or fill your refills”

“Except when working at the Windmills” 😂😂 when they forget she actually works as a waitress lmao but very good message, this musical is/was gold😍 I miss it so much😭😭

“Can you prove?”

“That youuuuu are a looooover for the ages

Can you proooove that”

“Youuuuuuu are not highly contagious"😂😂😂

I love that they shove him & his table out of the way so they can dance

"Love is just another diagnosis

Like bacterial vaginosis” Oml this song kills me 😂😂😂 WHO WROTE THESE LYRICS

“I love her and I don’t know her name” Nino is such a sweetheart awww

“All the while while love infects us

The side effect is that love connects us” this extended metaphor is weird af but it works so well and I love it because it also manages to give us all a great message😍👏👏

STAY

THIS SONG IS SO CUTE I LOVE IT

“But don’t expect me to play fair”

“I hear you coming

What can I do to

Drown out this drumming”

“No turning back now that you took the breadcrumbs

And I lost the way

And arrows fall out of thin air

If I could just find the right words to say

Would you stay right there

I like you right there”

“Stay where you are

Safe enough range

Try to move closer

You’ll only get halfway

Pin down your heart

Put out the flame

Don’t come any closer

But don’t move awaaaay”

And the canon effect of Nino and Amélie (he kind of like echoes her?) in “stay where you are” and “pin down your heart”^😍

HALFWAY (REPRISE)

“Is it true that you’ve solved Zeno’s paradox?” I love the way she sings this gah

“I have to do more than stay”

“Even though I am always halfway there”

“I could meet you there halfway” I ship them so much

AND THEN THEY KISSSSSSS

WHERE DO WE GO FROM HERE

AKA THE SONG I WOULD SELL MY SOUL FOR ITS SO BEAUTIFUL

“Where do we go from here

Now that you are standing by my side

After all there’s more to life than holding you” 😍😍

“After all there’s more to life than we can see

Will there be troubles?

I don’t know

Will there be sweet things?

I hope so

Will there be time to keep on dreaming when this dream is over?” This is so realistic ahhh I want to legitimately cry, such a real and beautiful love😍

“What happens when you can’t hold on

Or when I can’t hold on to you?”

I love the faces they make when taking pictures in the photo booth😂

“What’s gonna happen?

I don’t know

But whatever happens

Here we go

What’s gonna happen

And where do we go

From here?” A perfect ending to a perfect musical that deserved better❤️

Other Threads

Anastasia

#amélie #amélie musical #amélie broadway #broadway #musicals #musical theatre #this musical deserved better #broadway musicals #pippa soo #phillipa soo #adam chanler berat #what i love about musicals thread #amelie musical #amelie

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mysticalmistake · 7 years

Note

Heyy i love your headcanons >___

This sounds so cute I had to put it at the top of my priority list lolIt’s written a little weird so this is kinda how I formatted it: Paragraph one is finding out MC is infertile (Which I’m keeping short cause there’s already a request for just this here, even though this is a liiittle bit different), when they find out she’s pregnant/having four lil ones, and when she gives birth. There was a lot to cover here yoThe fluff is mostly at the end. I hope you like it;; -After after endings so spoiler warning-~Mod L

As he sat with you, stroking your hair, hearing you sob and feeling your tears soak his shoulder, all he could think about was how unfair this was. You stayed with him when you when he told you to go, help a family that you made your own. When he was at his worst, you were selfless and offered him everything he needed. When you asked him to start a family, he’s sure that’s the first even semi-major thing you asked for. He got Jumin’s help in getting doctors to overlook his lack of documentation and keeping it that way. He stopped his reckless spending to save for this, and was prepared for everything. Everything but this. The longer he held you for the more he felt his own tears welling up in his eyes. After saying again and again it wasn’t your fault, he knew it wasn’t his either, but still felt so guilty. He had a chance to not only give you something, but start something special together and you couldn’t do it.~Saeyoung sat uptight was tapping his foot as you sat just as rigidly next to him. Neither of you dared to say a word, as if that would somehow affect how many lines would appear on the tiny stick. For a week you had been feeling nauseous in the mornings, and even though it was only the first day of missing your period you wanted to cling on to any hope you would get. When your phone timer went off you both looked to each other, eyes wide.“I’m almost too scared to look,” you whispered to him.“I’m scared too. But we have to know”.His confident look was what made you finally grab it, when in reality he couldn’t be more terrified. But if nothing else, he would be a rock for you. When you looked at the test and started crying, he could tell if it was good or bad. He gently took the test from you, and felt his heart skip a beat as he saw the lines indicating positive. He couldn’t help but start crying too as you lunged into his arms. He was feeling happiness beyond what words could say, but also petrified. They already knew you weren’t in the best position to have kids, but what if something happened now….? He blocked out those thoughts for now and just focused on you, and thought about how he had to call Saeran and then Jumin.~“I have good news~ I some heartbeats!” Your nurse beamed at you.You and Saeyoung looked at each other with wide eyes.“Heartbeats?! Are we going to have twins…?”Saeyoung felt his heart warm as you eyes lit up as you asked her, looking at the ultrasound. “Two more little Choi’s running around? I thought Saeran and I were enough,” Saeyoung chuckled.“Not twins,” The doctor corrected him, causing you both to snap your heads towards him. “Now, it’s a little crowded so I want to do a few more tests to be sure. But if I’m not mistaken, you have four little healthy babies”. “Four?!” Saeyoung’s jaw dropped at the doctor’s words. “Did- Did you just say four?” Both of your guys’ eyes were glued to the nurse as he was watching the ultrasound. Once you two were alone Saeyoung was nervous for your reaction but you were elated. You had grabbed his hands, your eyes lit up. “This may be our only chance to have kids… And we have four of them!” ~ “Ahhhh honeyyyyy…. My hand,” Saeyoung laughed nervously as you crushed his hand. “You’re almost done! This is baby number four, and you’re doing so well!” Saeyoung winced as he saw you in so much pain, but he could already see the doctors cleaning and wrapping up the tiny babies in tiny blankets. He had a moment of awe being brought to you crushing his hand again. “Honeyyyy... My hand-” A nurse quickly shook her head at him. “I-I mean you’re doing such a good job!” You let out a sigh of relief as you heard a fourth little voice fill the room. “There we go!” The doctor exclaimed as she lifted the baby up. “Four healthy little babies~”You turned to Saeyoung and you both started laughing in relief. “W-Where are they?” You asked, your voice still shaky. “Here’s your oldest little girl,” a nurse said as she gently handed you your guys’ daughter. “Oh my god,” Saeyoung whispered under his breath, looking at her over your shoulder. She had since stopped crying, and was looking up at you two. He swallowed hard as he looked in her eyes. They seemed to have the same sparkle in them as you did when he first met you. But before he could think anything else another nurse came with another baby.“Your little guys are fraternal as next was her little brother,” The nurse beamed as she set another baby in your other arm. You couldn’t stop the tears from flowing as you looked at your two new little children.“Here you go dad,” The first nurse came back with another little bundle to hand to Saeyoung. When he saw her start to hand it to him he began to panic. “H-How do you-” “Just stay seated and it’ll be easier. Let’s just lay him down in the crook of your arm like this, and make sure his head and neck are supported. That’s the most important thing,” she explained as she laid him in Saeyoung’s arm.“H-He?” Saeyoung felt his heart jump as he looked into the eyes of his new son. He was fussy as he was being handed over but seemed calm in his arms. His thoughts seemed to be going at 100 miles an hour. He gently stroked his cheek. I-I’m your dad, he thought. I’m going to be the best god damn dad to you. I won’t raise you to be a thing like me. You’re going to be so much better. His mind raced already with images with the two of them, as he taught you to fix a computer, learn about cars, teach you how to dance, whatever you wanted to do. His thoughts were interrupted as the second nurse approached him again. “You guys are nice and even with the last being a little baby girl,” The nurse softly laid her in Saeyoung’s other arm. “Oh my god,” he couldn’t stop himself from saying again. He looked back up to you, and felt his heart was going to burst with how happy you looked. He looked back at his daughter, feeling a slight tinge of worry on her disgruntled expression. “Your face is gonna get stuck like that if you keep doing that,” he whispered, laughing softly to himself. And you... I can only hope we raise you to be just like your mama. She’s so kind and selfless... You couldn’t have a better person to look up to. Both of you, he thought, looking back and forth between the two in his arms. He hesitantly stood up, a nurse right next to him to help. He leaned in towards you, so you could both see your brand new family. “I’m glad we got that ‘four-for-one’ deal~” “Saeyoung!” You laughed through your tears. As he looked again at the boy in your arms, he noticed a small glint in his eyes that looked just like his. He had to sit back down as he felt all the adrenaline began to wear off. “Honey? Can Saeran come in now?”You nodded at both him at the nurse. He quickly left to get Saeran, as he was waiting just down the hall. Saeyoung looked back down at the boy in his arm. “Your guys’ uncle is coming to see you now. I can’t wait for you to meet him. God, I can’t wait until we all get to go home. All the other members are waiting for us, and your bedroom is set up with four matching cribs. It’s so cheesy you’re all gonna hate it,” he laughed. “Hey, at least they’re normal cribs! You wanted them all in race car beds,” you chided him. “They would’ve loved that!” He chuckled. “When they outgrow the cribs we’ll get the race car beds” he replied. “I promise,” he whispered to his daughter, and almost melted when she gave a delighted little coo. The both of you just relaxed and fell back into silence as you took in everything that happened. You guys are finally here, Saeyoung thought as he looked back and forth between both of his babies. I was scared at first you know. I didn’t know what an actual childhood was suppose to be like. But I’ve read more book than you can count. The entire RFA gave me advice. And I’m not doing this alone. His eyes flickered back up to you, then back to them. You’re gonna have the happiest childhood you can ever get. We’re never going to hurt you. You’ll never have to worry about money. If you ever get angry, you have five uncles and an aunt to run away to. So many choices~! They’ll all take care of you until you want. Your dad has a good job of being a director of the RFA, so no one dangerous can come near any of you. But for now, I swear we’re going to love you. No matter what you want to do, no matter how angry you are. Your mother did all that for me, and I’m ready to keep doing it for her and now for all you four. I promise.

#in cause it's confusing the five uncles are Saeran Jumin Yoousung Zen and Vanderwood #and of course auntie Jaehee #Just saying because in the after ending V is dead and I didn't want want confusion thinking I counted him #mystic messenger #mystic messenger headcanon #mystic messenger imagine #Seven Zero Seven #Saeyoung Choi #707

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drennalynspast · 4 years

Text

[ funeral, fashion, interview ]

Thursday, May. 01, 2008

[last thursday]- i turned in my autobiographical sketch to the counselor. she told me i should stop by the next day because she wanted to give me a letter. i was wondering if it was some kind of immediate rejection letter or something because i turned the biography thing at the last minute.

[friday]-- yeah...i dunno what the hell that strange feeling was. it has been a while since i experienced it. the sun was shining brightly that day too. i got the letter and opened it outside the office. 'congratulations....' apparently i was able to obtain an interview for pharmacy school. that moment i saw the letter, i felt so elated.

i never felt so thankful in my life. i wonder if it is a sign that god is telling me not to give up. but definately...that interview letter must made me accepting of who i am. it makes me believe that i somehow do have potential. i told my parents when i came home that day. they said that it was a good sign and seemed to be pleased.

[saturday - the funeral] - yesterday and today...went to some prayer services and mass for my deceased 'uncle'. staring at his body in the casket was quite uncomfortable to bear. he did look soo young to see an unfortunate mishap. his body was darkened due to the spread of the cancer. honestly, i believe that i loathe funerals... just because people annoy the hell out of me. a lot of the male relatives and friends of the family took 9827492 pictures.

i swear, am i in fucking hollywood? during the church mass, there was a cameraman who was filming the audience, shining the light upon our faces. ugh. i personally find it disrespectful. sure, our culture may use this as an excuse to embody the experience by taking photographs...but really?

how often do people actually go back and look at the 9834983 photos they take? not very many people do. i also view this photograph taking an outlet for these camera guys. it's some form of activity they do just to kill time/be busy and elude whatever they are thinking. hi, escapism no?

when they were lowering the casket into the ground, my aunt had difficulty letting go. she told them to stop. 'it's not supposed to happen..' there was a person filming her crying and in that stressful moment. it was as if they were shoving the camera up in her face. wtf....>.> do people not have respect?

i admit...i laughed a couple of times during the funeral. my cousins, sister and i were talking about stuff. anyways.. i wish the best for his family. it's been a while since i saw my 2nd cousins. they look so different. but i see that they have potential to succeed well in life.

---------------------------------------------------------------

[fashion rocks] - later on saturday, my parents let me go to norman to visit jack. he and his friend ('shannon') are on organization that plans events for the school campus. he and she planned a fashion runway show that was to occur outside. they spent a lot of hard work planning the event. they had to scout for models, find stores that would donate clothing, and take the models to go to the mall to fit/choose their clothes.

i can imagine the stress they had to go through. it was disappointing how not a lot of people showed up as they had imagined. (and i felt sorry for the guest band too for not receiving a large crowd). overall, i felt like it was a good job. there were a lot of events that went on in ou campus that night, so managing to get people to show at his event was a good thing.

after the event, jack and his friends wanted to stop by this after party that was hosted by one of the models. we came to the house and saw some weird shit. i mean...you see a lot of weird people. and this older man walked out of one of the rooms.

the host girl said, 'hi, i want you to meet my dad'. wtf...i mean. lol @ parents in a party with their children. they had drunk kids, alcohol and a hooka thing in the house. it's kinda weird to have your parents party with you. zomg i'm so kewl because i can party with my child!!!111 yeah, we left after we they met the parent(s).

we headed back to shannon's apartment just to hang out for a while. jack said he was going to lie down for a while on shannon's bed. shannon eventually headed to her bed too. 'katie' and i were in the living room. it was pretty late :/. i was going to spend the night at jack's apartment i felt like it wasn't going to happen.

i forfeited the couch and resorted to lying on the hard floor. it was damn cold in the apartment too. somehow i was fucking pissed. you have no idea...i mean... leaving your guests uncomfortable like that? the fact that they just randomly left to go to sleep without saying anything? i tried to keep my cool and realize, yeah they were fucking tired from all the work they did for the event.

i was on the verge of rage - for i was tempted to call my sister and have her take me to her house. then again, i realized it would be quite rude of me to leave abruptly without a word.

fuck that, i went into one of shannon's roomate's room. the door was open and i went in and slept in the dark - on the floor of course. jack eventually came in the room in the middle of the night and apologized. he had no intentions of staying the night, and he took me to his place and i slept on his bed. damn, thank goodness.

faked about how i felt and said, 'it's okay, i know you're tired and all. i didn't want to wake you up etcetc.". but he felt really sorry. hahha this made me forgive him and i forgot i was an ass.

but yeah....comes to show you how i can be so damn nice and allow myself to suffer just to assure comfort in others. it pisses me off so much. why the hell am i like this. really..i don't know. i felt soo pissed at people, but on the other hand, i had strong concerns about how i didn't want to hurt people. or rather..i didn't want them to be mad at me. :/

[this wednesday] i called my 'friends' and asked them to help me with my interview. y'know, do a mock interview and shit. fuck, i'm using them. but they seemed okay with it. they helped me a lot really....they asked me what i was going to wear. and one of my friends offered to lend me her black blazer thing. hell yes, it fit so well on me. the blazer i bought looked like shit (was done at the last minute). i am very thankful that these people are so helpful. in a way, i am relieved that they don't seem bothered by me and they put a lot of effort into helping me.

-------------------------------------------

[the interview] - damn, i swear, if i didn't practice with my friends yesterday...i would have been screwed. but i am so effin glad it was over. i had time to think of my responses yesterday, so i was prepared to answer his questions. he seemed to really like me. he wished that i would get into the fall.

he was amused at my hobby in art. 'never in my 14 years of teaching, have i ever interviewed someone who could draw fantasy creatures. people usually say sports or reading as their hobby." hell yeah. i think i hit the right spot. at the end of the interview, i felt pretty confident it turned out well.

in reality, the counselor told me a lot of the interviews usually go well with the students. the whole admissions committee will have to narrow it down based on other things as well. my pcat and gpa are meh. i honestly dont' know if i can get in. but...fuck damnit, so far...i'm somehow proud of how far i have come. it makes me realize i do have potential.

if i don't get in, i'll just try harder. i was given a chance. and i can't let this chance ruin my life and discourage me at all. i will use the chance as an opportunity for improvement. the end.

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