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angryshortstacks · 11 months

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Back on my willow shit after mourning the removal of the show (and forcing my friend to watch it). So here’s my Tanthamore playlist with explanations for each song

- Crimson and Clover by the Pom Pom squad: this one’s obvious

- I’m on fire by Soccar Mommy: also just because it’s in the show but the lyrics about bad desire feels very repressed queer love so it’s a tanthamore song now. I don’t make the rules.

-Bags by Clairo: the lyrics are very kit running away in episode 1 plus Clairos vibes are just so tathamore.

- Ceilings by Lizzy McAlphine: this songs lyrics gives me Jade’s internal monologue after the kiss in episode 1.

- I am yours by Churchill: this goes on every ship playlist I make because it’s so cute and it’s just about being devoted to someone else and thinking about it with them makes me FERAL!

- Cherry Wine by Hozier: the soft guitar feels very fantasy to me, plus the lyrics feel Jade talking about kit.

- Trees by The Oh Hellos: this is a childhood friends to lovers song and it makes me think of them as little kids not knowing their in love with each other 🥺

- Dear Arkansas Daughter by Lady Lamb: I blame edits. It’s Jades pov from episode 5 when she’s a little mad at kit in the wildwood. “you with the dark curls, you with the water colour eyes, you who bares all your teeth with every smile.” Like cmon that’s so kit.

- Like or Like Like by Minature Tigers: again it’s a childhood friends to lovers song but like more current. The sort of will they won’t they from episode 1-5.

- Another Story by The Head and the Heart: this one is mostly vibes but I feel like it gives the way home from the quest and moving forward together. It’s them choosing each other in the end.

- Without You by Oh Wonder: it’s a PINING song okay so therefore it’s a jade song.

- Softly by Clairo: this song is a Kit song about falling for jade. And I’ll say it once I’ll say it again. Clairo has tanthamore vibes.

- Dear Wormwood by the Oh Hellos: the title sounds so close to wildwood and the vibes are super fantasy esc. It’s very much jade’s arch learning who she truly is and what she wants and how that change was sprung by the wildwood.

- Home by Edward sharp and the magnetic zeroes: this song is a classic and it’s just so cute. It’s them acknowledging their each others home 🥺

- Gemini by Tash Sultana: this is also a kit song and her admiring her feelings for jade.

- Fight or Flight: pretty sure I got this song from an edit and went yes I agree. It’s a kit song and her dealing with her weird feelings for Jade. “I’d rather lie they tell you I’m in love with you” like that’s so wildwood truth plums.

- Heavy Feet by Local Natives: this is them both being unable to admit their feelings contrasted with when they finally say what they needs to and their “left in the sun, shivering”

- Soldier, Poet, King by The Oh Hellos: there is no band with more fantasy vibes then the oh hellos. Kit is the soldier, Jade is the Poet and Elora is the King. I will not debate, I could write an essay proving this.

- Two Birds by Regina Spektor: I saw one edit and it went on the playlist. Kit is the one that says “cmon” and Jade says “I’m tired” need I say more?

- Until I Found You by Stephen Sanchez: the EDITS. The lyrics are just so bloody romantic it will go on every ship playlist imaginable but it hits particularity hard for them. “Never let you go again” so makes me think of end of episode 6 beginning of 7 when Jade almost looses kit.

- Bloom by the Paper Kites: again just so totally, completely, desperately romantic. it had to go on the playlist the gods demanded it.

- Will We Talk? By Sam Fender: again just the idea of them finally saying what they haven’t. I can also see an au where they meet as a one night stand (which is what the song is about).

- Would That I by Hozier: the edits Plus the image of a willow tree in the first verse made me associate it. Also so bloody romantic.

- Sleep on the Floor by the Lumineers: the idea of running away together feels very Kit trying to convince Jade to go with her in episode 1.

- Pretty Firl by Clairo: you thought I was done with the Clairo songs? Think again. It’s Jade willing to wear a dress and become a “pretty girl” to support Kit.

- Croses by José González: this is a kit song. Her talking about her trauma and the “well cast sunlight and you’ll be alright” is Jade.

- the colour violet by Tory Lanez: this one is vibes alone and because there were so many edits of this song.

- Start a Riot by Banners: this song is just what they’d both to for each other very much the sentiment of “when you love someone you jump off the edge of the world to get to them” and it FITS SO WELL.

- Gajendra by Willow and Jahnavi Harrison: again the Willow association felt right. And the vibes of “I depend on you alone” is so tanthamore.

- Bad Idea by Girl in Red: it’s so sapphic panic and “oh fuck we have feelings we need to address” because of this it goes on every playlist.

- Sound and Colour by Alabama Shakes: the song gives me jade vibes and it’s honestly vibes alone but I don’t care.

- I’ll Call You Mine by Girl in Red: it’s so GAY and so ROMANTIC and it’s one of the first songs I thought of when I made this playlist and then I saw an edit immediately after and I just about died.

- Cosmic Love By Florence and the Machine: Florence only writes character songs so this is my obligatory contribution to this playlist. Song has fantasy vibes and has the same dramatic vibes as the banners song.

- Morning Dove by Genevieve Stokes: this one’s all vibes and because the dove had a vague association but it’s a good ass song.

- Like Real People Do by Hozier: cmon this is probably the most romantic song ever written. It’s very kit finally kissing Jade to me because “I will not ask you where you came from.. just put your sweet lips on my lips, we should just kiss like real people do.”

- Homecoming Heroes by the Head and the Heart: this is so Kit and jade imaging having adventures in the world together. It’s such a cute image.

- Love Ain’t Enough by the Barr Brothers: this is so Kit at the end admitting love is the most powerful thing in the universe (specifically her love for jade).

- Falming Hot Cheetos by Clairo: “I wanna be the one you think about at night, I wanna be the one that you would put up a fight for” LIKE THAT IS SO JADE!! I can’t even it fits so good.

#tanthamore #tanthamore playlist #Willow #willow 2022 #save willow #fuck disney #kit tanthalos #jade claymore #kit tanthalos x jade claymore #kit x jade #lesbian #erin kellyman #ruby cruz #this playlist makes me want to chew off my own arm #disney+#renew willow #sapphic music #Clairo has tanthamore vibes

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projectastray · 10 months

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August Q&A with Questions from Patreon!!

hello hello & welcome to the

🎆 PROJECT ASTRAY QUESTION & ANSWER EXTRAVAGANZA : AUGUST EDITION 🎆

i asked my patreon discord for questions about project astray's development and, given the limited amount of info out there about the game (intentional), i was curious to see what kind of curiosities folks would have!

and now i'll share those here, too! enjoy~

Q from Raccoon:

Q: What was the kind of original idea for Project Astray, like how did you come up with the main idea?

A: This is gonna start way off target, but: Back when I was working at ArenaNet on Guild Wars 2, I designed a story quest that involved a sort of passive stealth system where you were invisible at all times to enemies, unless you wanted to interact with something, in which case you revealed yourself. I thought it was a fun way to solve the 'challenge' problem with stealth in an MMO, where there weren't real systems in place to do stealth that felt 'fun' in a traditional stealth game sense... but still let you feel sneaky. So it became an order of operations problem: if I open this gate with a switch, there's an enemy looking my way, so I have to knock them out... but another enemy is looking at THEM, so I have to wait for them to turn their back, knock them out too, then the way is clear to open the gate.

Anyway that was a fun little mission, but years and years later I still looked back on that design process fondly. I was also starting to think about thematic material for a 2nd game project after ESC... and I kept brainstorming various systems ideas for games centered around my experiences with social anxiety & social stealth. And so I thought that would be a fun idea to explore.

The actual systems that have come out of that initial spark of an idea are very different, but you can probably see some of the origins in there once I reveal the full game's mechanics.

Qs from Nicola:

Q: Are you composing all the music 100% yourself or are you collaborating with someone else one a song or two?

A: Mostly, yes! It's what I'd probably call at 99% me game, where I'm leaving room for possible collaboration or assistance if it sounds fun, but the vast majority of the music will be all me. Naturally! I do have one or two possible collaborations, though, which I'll think more about once I'm in the music phase of development.

Q: Are you still spending time on coding the core mechanics or have you already finished those for the most part, and are starting to assemble the game more? (Iirc in the last update you wrote about working on combat mechanics, so kind of related on its progress)

A: The core mechanics are about 75% there! Everything is in a place now where I can primarily build out content, and the remaining 25% is all stuff that is coming from any time I can't do something specifically as I'd like to, in which case I have to start adding more scripts or actions to enable me to do more with the systems. But the core is solid! I'm still on track to get 'chapter 1' fully realised this year, which is exciting.

Q: What kind of Ashtray is this? Is it a plain metal one, maybe a colored glass one, or a decorated painted ceramic one? (I think you've written something about the working name of the project, but I can't remember what exactly and where.)

A: One of those really old ones with the sort of bubbly glass texture, fully transparent, with a frosted crescent moon baked into the bottom of it.

In all seriousness, Astray!! Thematically it'll always feel relevant. Lots of things are astray in the game, its characters and setting. "Away from the correct path or direction". But who defines what is 'correct'? Where are they going? All important key words and concepts to think about.

As a bonus fun fact: the final game title also starts with 'A' but doesn't involve the word 'Astray'.

Qs from LaurentDS:

Q: what are things that you learned from your years of experience making music that helped you in the non music related aspects of Project Astray

A: Pacing, mostly. I always think of storytelling and gameplay and transitions in games in terms of the pace they take in a musical sense. What tempo is this all running on? How will it feel if it takes X seconds to happen, can I speed it up? Slow it down? Getting it all to feel right and 'in tempo' with itself is a really important part of design for me. And it also makes composition a lot easier, or even composition can help make finding the tempo easier. Because once it all meshes, nothing will (hopefully) feel out of place or rushed or sluggish.

Q: Your music and Project Astray are done in parallel. How do you juggle between those? Do you see it as a way to break artist block (work on one when you need a break from the other, etc)?

A: Yeah, absolutely. I still think of my music work as my 'main' job because it's for folks that have hired me for my time, so I always place a priority on that and fitting the development schedule. But when I do have a choice between game design work & music work, one absolutely helps me bounce back and forth if I'm feeling stuck in one area or the other.

Q: What has been the most fun aspect or detail of its development that you want to share?

A: Honestly, getting all the gameplay elements into a state where it's actually super fun to just sit down and play for a bit... There's still a lot of work to do, but seeing the possibilities now that it's in a state where you can play for a bit, it's so exciting to potentially get more friends in and testing it out so I can see how it feels for real people that aren't thinking about it every single day.

Qs from Jodie:

Q: what parts of Project Astray's development do you plan to share in things like teasers or update posts, if you choose to share anything? Will it be limited to character showcases and some screenshots or will we also get the occasional technical post if that interests you?

A: I'd love to delve into technical aspects once I am at a place where it makes sense to talk about those things!! Obviously not until I've revealed more about the game, but coding is a fun troubleshooting game that I'm always game to share anecdotes about.

Outside of that, yeah absolutely character showcases are among my next things to share... There's a lot to get into.

Q: Once it gets close to release, are you planning to release Project Astray as an early access title and release the game in chapters or do you plan to release it all once its 100% complete?

A: I definitely won't be doing early access. I don't think it plays well with a linear story game. The only early sort of thing I'm considering is doing a 'demo' of the 1st chapter before releasing the full game, but the timing & decision on that are pretty unknown until I get far enough along that I feel confident about it. And especially with a personal project that will be many years in the making, showing stuff earlier might help build excitement for the final thing. None of that is final, though, it's just me thinking out loud.

Qs from Aeris:

Q: What are your inspirations for the game's setting/world? And are there any aspects of magic/otherworldliness to the setting?

A: There's so much about this question that I can't quite share yet, but I will try to answer it without revealing everything: The sense of 'otherworldliness' is going to be very high. While there will be a concrete world to explore, not everything might seem logical or real. This has a lot to do with the setting itself. As a normal person in this world, things might change one day and leave you wondering if what you remembered is really true, or if it's always been like this. Time might suddenly advance with a gap in perception. You might dream of another state of existence, so real and tangible, and then wake up and go back to your usual routine. But there's a nagging in the periphery of your mind that it isn't right. That you were supposed to do something else. Our main characters have felt this deep down and have pushed past the instinctual drive to return to normalcy. They've chosen to EXIST, and whatever that might entail.

Q: also, not super important, but what engine are you using for the game?

A: GameMaker Studio!

Thanks so much to all my discord dreamers for their really thoughtful questions!! I had a lot of fun answering these, and hopefully they give you even more insight into the game at this early stage.

Until next time~

#project astray #indie games #indie dev #game dev #indie game dev #finding tag permutations is my passion #q&a

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itscrazy-itsparty · 1 year

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ESC2023 Reaction Post

Just like the title said, I'm writing this post as I listen to most of the 2023 entries for the first time. So far, I have only heard Italy (of course), Spain, Finland, Serbia, Portugal (I just couldn't miss their national finals), and Norway (heard it in the wild).

My top 6 of these entries would look like this:

1. Finland: Käärijä - "Cha Cha Cha"

I've definitely caught the Cha Cha Cha fever! At this point, I've streamed it 240 times in less than a month. It's an instant dopamine boost, it hits several spots of my taste in music, the transition between the two halves of the song is seamless and reflects the lyrics perfectly (I recommend Eurovision Histories' analysis of the song, he explains it really well), Käärijä is such a charismatic performer and an absolute sweetheart, but most of all...

2. Spain: Blanca Paloma - "Eaea"

I rarely cry over a song, so when one does manage to get my eyes wet, it must be special. The fusion between flamenco and a contemporary production, together with Blanca Paloma's flawless and intense vocals, make "Eaea" a contender not only in my ears, but also in my eyes, as the staging completes the package effectively. Hopefully she doesn't change it much for Liverpool!

3. Serbia: Luke Black - "Samo Mi Se Spava"

It seems like Konstrakta might have paved the way for a more experimental side of the Serbian music scene! I first heard "Samo Mi Se Spava" at Pesma za Evroviziju's final and, while I loved the dark electro-pop style, I was also left a little confused - maybe it was the vocals that I couldn't fully get? But with more listens, I've now warmed up to it. Its only flaw is that it's too short. Give me a 7-minute long extended mix with a drop going absolutely bonkers, please.

4. Italy: Marco Mengoni - "Due Vite"

Yes, it's a classic Sanremo-style ballad. But the artist can make or break this kind of songs with their way of singing, and Marco definitely makes it with his distinctive vocals and artistry. While he has a bunch of upbeat bangers and I would have loved him to show this different side of his music this time around, I really can't complain as "Due Vite" makes yet another entry we can be proud of. Forza Marco!

5. Portugal: Mimicat - "Ai Coração"

This keeps growing on me! Such a cute and classy song, retro sounding in the best way. Portugal is one of my favourite country in the ESC, and "Ai coração" is faithful to their brand. Mimicat is such an endearing performer and definitely sells the song!

6. Norway: Alessandra - "Queen of Kings"

It's 'last' as for now, but I'm sure it won't be last in my overall ranking! In fact, I can't see it dropping outside of my top 20 once I've heard all of the entries. Epic feel, pumping bass, powerful vocals - I wouldn't be surprised if "Queen of Kings" landed the second top 10 placement in a row for Norway. Bonus points for Alessandra being half Italian!

Needless to say, I really enjoy all of these songs. It feels so hard for me to imagine a personal winner other than "Cha Cha Cha", but maybe I'll be surprised...

Now to my live reaction to the remaining 31 entries: what I'm going to do is play ESCBEAT's Spotify playlist on shuffle without looking at the title, so I'll make it even more interesting for myself and try to guess which country's song is playing - with the exceptions of Armenia and San Marino, as they're not available on Spotify yet so I'll check them out individually on YouTube.

Armenia: Brunette - "Future Lover"

Ok, before the song starts, let me say that basing her song on Tumblr quotes is honestly iconic behaviour. Truly one of us. However I fear I won't be able to take it 100% seriously after reading this fact.

Alright.

After listening: you know what... it makes a lot more sense to me now. The first verse can be interpreted as her scrolling her dashboard, reading such posts and fantasizing over this ideal partner to do all of these cute and mundane things with. The second verse is when she gets hit by reality and acknowledges that she's spent so much time obsessing over someone who doesn't even exist, and that realization hits her hard. The music seems to explode together with the racing thoughts in her mind. Solid, r&b-tinted track, has potential to be a memorable moment on the Liverpool stage. Oh, and once again Armenia shows that they're capable to make a music video.

San Marino: Piqued Jacks - "Like an Animal"

I have already read the lyrics to that, and they are definitely Something™. Let's see if the music and the performance can make up for it...

I was expecting so much worse from what I've read around the eurofandom spaces? It's a pleasant, very well sung rock song. The lyrics didn't even bother me that much while listening, although they're kinda awkward indeed. Maybe they'll change them up in the upcoming revamp?

Now to shuffling the Spotify playlist.

Sweden: Loreen - "Tattoo"

Oh, this has to be Tattoo. The start is indeed a bit reminiscing of The Winner Takes It All! It's what Sweden can do best - a strong pop song with slick production, in which Loreen's personality and artistry is the added value. I wish she had presented something more experimental, but seeing how it went with "Statements", can we really blame her? "Tattoo" does sound like a jury winner, and it would surely be deserved. I'm sure it's even better live - I'll make sure to check her Melfest performance out!

Australia: Voyager - "Promise"

Have no idea of what this could be, but the sound is interesting. Hope the build-up does not disappoint.

Okay, it has to be Australia! I was expecting it to evolve into a full-on dance-pop song, lmao.

I'm digging this! "Dreamer" was a national final favourite of mine last year, and while I'm not sure I like "Promise" more, I still did like it a lot, and I can hear some common patterns between the two songs - poppier verses, the chorus suddenly getting heavier, and then the peak in the breakdown and the final chorus. Oh, and there's a short but sweet guitar solo in here! I wonder how it will be received on the ESC stage, as it might come across as confusing to some.

Slovenia: Joker Out - "Carpe Diem"

Is this Joker Out? I've been SO curious to hear their song, as I heard some of their back catalogue and it sounds really cool.

OMG I LOVE THIS SO MUCH. Such a strong indie-rock banger, reminiscent of what I used to hear on the alternative radio stations in the mid 00s, but still sounding fresh in 2023. Also Slovene sounds adorable together with rock music. It's been absolutely worth the wait! I NEED THIS TO QUALIFY OKAY.

Austria: Teya & Salena - "Who the Hell Is Edgar"

OH MY GOD YOU'RE SUCH A GOOD WRITER. Yeah, recognized it instantly. MASSIVE BOP ALREADY. Was... not expecting this opera bit.

POE POE POE POE POE POE POE POE POE POE POE POE POE POE POE EDGAR ALLAN EDGAR ALLAN

Everyone stand up for the new Austrian anthem. Honestly iconic. Loving it unironically, great production, love me some satire, and I trust them to deliver live. Hope they go bonkers with the staging. I feel like ranking these entries is going to be hell...

Switzerland: Remo Forrer - "Watergun"

Oh, piano intro.

Army mention. Switzerland, isn't it?

Not bad, just sounds kinda cliché so far... very nice voice though. Can't see myself replaying it. Probably going to end up in my bottom 10.

Georgia: Iru - "Echo"

This is a banging intro, I'm listening respectfully.

...Georgia?

There's going to be a drop, I hope so...

I'm... disappointed so far? Not really hearing the build-up I was hoping for. It seems to be a fan favourite, but I'm not getting it. Maybe it will grow on me, who knows?

Moldova: Pasha Parfeni - "Soarele si Luna"

ROMANIAN. Has to be Pasha. Another song I was eager to hear!

THE DROP. THANKS FOR MY DAILY DOSE OF DOPAMINE. THIS IS SO GOOD HELP. The bass, the flute, the backing vocals, everything. This might be my favourite Moldovan entry ever. Pasha Parfeni came on this bitch mad as hell. Welcome back!

Azerbaijan: TuralTuranX - "Tell Me More"

Automatic voice message? This sounds kinda unserious idk why.

Oh, it has to be Azerbaijan.

I'm glad they left the artists more creative control this time around, but this is really not doing it for me. It sounds like the demo to some 90s song. My last so far. I fear this won't do well and the delegation will go back to Melfest rejects...

Ireland: Wild Youth - "We Are One"

We take our first breath and then we exhale. King of teaching us how to breathe. Can't figure out which entry this is, but it sounds cliché so far.

Oh, Ireland. Wild Youth, what have you done? I already knew their song "Can't Say No" and it's so good, are we sure it's the same band? It's like they came together and decided to deliberately write the most stereotypical ESC song. It's a no from me.

Latvia: Sudden Lights - "Aijā"

Interesting beat, wonder where it's going to go from here. Oh, guitars.

5/4 to 6/8 tempo transition? A bit confusing but in a good way, I'm enjoying it a lot! Definitely original. Could it be Latvia? I've been VERY curious to hear it.

Well, he's saying Aijā now so no doubt. First impression is really good already, but I feel like I'll end up being obsessed!

Malta: The Busker - Dance (Our Own Party)

Funky pop, nice. Enjoying it more and more as it progresses, and that sax? *chef's kiss*. It's sensual, retro but there's also something a bit futuristic about it at the same time? Still not sure about what it is, even now that the song is coming to an end. Kinda want to say Malta? I'll figure this out by exclusion. What's sure is that it slaps.

(Spoiler: it was indeed Malta)

Romania: Theodor Andrei - "D.G.T. (Off and On)"

Is it Romanian again? Thought Romania's entry was in English, so this is surprising. And it's pretty good? This was one of the entries I just couldn't figure out the vibe of from the eurofans' comments, and I'm positively surprised honestly! Was expecting it to be maybe more upbeat, definitely was not picturing this jazz-rock fusion. Oh, turns out it's bilingual. I don't know how memorable it will be in the mix, but it's solid. Such a diverse lineup so far, it's shaping up to be a stronger year than I thought!

Albania: Albina & Familja Kelmendi - "Duje"

Oh, this lady CAN vocalize! Something in the Albanian water...

I was expecting this to be more ballad-y for some reason but it's making me want to shake my ass. I feel like something in the production/mixing is holding it back a bit, though. Overall it's Albania doing Albania, and I can't complain.

Iceland: Diljá - "Power"

Iceland time, I think? I'm enjoying it a lot so far. EDM hasn't been particularly successful at ESC, but she has a lovely voice and her winning Söngvakeppnin suggests to me that she can deliver live, so this could be a dark horse!

Denmark: Reiley - "Breaking My Heart"

Very modern production for this and vocoder for this next song. Okay, this is probably Denmark. It's most likely not going to be one of my favourites, but it's a personal taste thing. It's a solid pop song, hope he can deliver it live.

Estonia: Alika - "Bridges"

Now a lovely tone of voice being accompanied by just a piano and strings. I've lost count of which songs are left to listen to, and while I'm at the last chorus, I'm still struggling to figure out which country this is. WAIT IT'S ALIKA FKFHFKFHDKDH. Girlie said "bridges" a ton of times and I didn't catch it lmao. Really liked it though! It could stand out in a less balladful year like this one.

Czechia: Vesna - "My Sister's Crown"

FINALLY HEARING VESNA'S SONG!!!! This has been so hard to resist BUT GOD HAS IT BEEN WORTH THE WAIT. I've been listening to their music for some time and I was so excited when they were announced for ESCZ. It's what I was expecting from them and more: a gorgeously sung, very well produced folk-pop tune, and the rap verses are such a great surprise! Up to my top 5 you go.

Belgium: Gustaph - "Because of You"

Gustaph delivers some good old eurodance, and I can tell this is going to be a sort of guilty pleasure for me... except I do not, in fact, feel guilty. It's the good kind of dated. Good job on bringing out the 90s kid in me!

United Kingdom: Mae Muller - "I Wrote a Song"

Sounds like slick pop so far. Oh this is building up nicely.

Yes, the UK delivering a quality, very radio-friendly host entry. They seem to be determined in changing their course, and hopefully we'll see a competent enough staging to bring out the entry's potential!

Greece: Victor Vernicos - "What They Say"

Is it Greece? Cute song, I just think I'm not the audience for it. He's really young and this seems to be his first performance on a big stage, so I'm a bit worried about how he might cope with nerves... But then again, there have been 16-year-olds who did amazing on the ESC stage, so fingers crossed!

Croatia: Let3 - "Mama ŠČ"

CROATIA TIME LET'S SEE

This is as all over the place as I was expecting, it's far from a musical masterpiece but it's clearly not meant to be. They're just vibing, and I support that.

Cyprus: Andrew Lambrou - "Break a Broken Heart"

What in the Imagine Dragons is this? Oh, that's Cyprus. This is pretty good, I just don't see myself coming back to it much. But I feel like it's the kind of song that might be elevated a lot by strong staging.

Poland TVP: Blanka - "Solo"

BEYBAH ITS KAINDA CRAYZAH.

...yeah. It's a song. I get those who say it sounds like a Margaret song, but it's also giving me early 00s vibes. At the same time, while I'm a slut for early 00s pop, this is giving me nothing. And the context around it makes everything worse.

Israel: Noa Kirel - "Unicorn"

I've heard "Unicorn" is a messy song, now I'll get to witness it for myself. So far it's a respectable dance-pop entry, but that "power of the unicorn" sounds so random ngl.

Oh well. This is definitely a song meant FOR a staging. The breakdown after the repeated "do you want to see me dance?" line reminded me of kpop a bit. The ending was... so abrupt?

Netherlands: Mia Nicolai & Dion Cooper - "Burning Daylight"

This might be the Netherlands' entry? You can surely hear Duncan Laurence in it. I was afraid it would sound too forced as a song and a duet, but it's flowing well so far. However I'm not a fan of what the drums sound like. They sound... buried? I liked it the most until the second chorus.

Germany: Lord of the Lost - "Blood & Glitter"

Metal? In MY Eurovision Song Contest? Love to hear it, especially from Germany, since it seemed like they were stuck in their safe approach to the competition. As for the song itself... maybe I'll warm up to it with time, but on a first impression, I like the intro and the verses a lot, the chorus not as much. The ending was great!

Ukraine: Tvorchi - "Heart of Steel"

Oh, what's this? Slightly off-beat chorus, very interesting!

Right, Ukraine! Tvorchi use their host entry privilege to bring something we've never heard at the ESC before, and definitely a change of pace from the folk-driven songs of the past couple of years, proving the richness of this country's music scene.

Lithuania: Monika Linkytė - "Stay"

ČIŪTOOOO TŪTO

Another returnee! Sweet ballad, really pleasant vocals. Turning into more of a midtempo now, with sort of marching drums. I can't remember which country is in which semi, but I wouldn't mind this in the grand final at all!

France: La Zarra - "Évidemment"

So far, so French. And yes, it's a compliment - I'm a French pop slut. It's now surprisingly evolved into pop-funk, and I'm loving it! France is truly on a great streak (STILL MAD ABOUT FULENN OKAY.) - maybe we'll see them win in the next few years?

Overall: what a year! I was planning to make an initial ranking, turns out I'm too overwhelmed right now. As the years go by, the songs seem to be less meant for a contest, and more as a bunch of stand-alone solid and diverse tunes that happen to compete with each other, therefore it feels unfair to choose some over others. I'll take my time to warm up to them, and see which ones I will come back to the most, which ones will grow on or off me.

I think Finland is still my favourite, though.

Most likely to end up in my top 10: Czechia (definitely top 5), Slovenia, Latvia, Moldova, Malta, Austria

#eurovision song contest #eurovision 2023 #esc 2023 #esc2023 #esc23 #eurovision #my posts #this is a mess but it's an accurate reflection of my mind and that's how i wanted it to be #there are probably some Takes™ in here lmao

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lil-scout-precure · 2 years

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My thoughts about the JESC 2022 songs. Part 2:

(This will be in order of release of the videos at the official JESC YouTube channel)

🇦🇱 Kejtlin Gjata "Pakëz Diell":

From the dancing rhythm songs we now go to the JESC ballads with this entry of Albania. But don't leave, please, this one hits as hard as possible with its purpose, considering the actual situation we all know about, and the song's tune is something good.

The videoclip really takes the title of the song almost seriously: A bit of Sunshine to illuminate a monocrome world, a ray of hope for those difficult times and for those who feel alone. And Kejtlin's voice is something astonishing to join the ethereal soft melody. I can understand that most of the JESC fandom are not rooting for this one, but at least we can give Albania a chance to shine with this song and place it at Top 10 at least. It's something good, indeed.

🇰🇿 David Charlin "Jer-Ana":

Kazakhstan: The country we can say "Why aren't they competing at the official adults' Eurovision Song Contest?". They share their potential at Junior and THEY HAVE IT: One example, before this entry, is their 2020's entry "Forever" by Karakat Bashanova. If the live version has not been strong enough with the lyrics and emotions, the studio version and context behind the song (Karakat sings this to her dead father) can make it heartbreaking and say "again, how did this not win?". (I can't hear the fricking song in any version once without crying at least a bit. I loved "J' Imagine" and France as a JESC host, but this was a winner too)

Now, to this year's entry. They want to avenge their failed good attempts to win every JESC they competed with a strong ballad and a strong message: a boosted and less groovy version of "Green Forces" with a touch of "Pakëz Diell" with the vibes of "Everything I Need" from Skylar Grey. And they don't dissapoint.

While it's not as heartbreaking as Karakat's song, it is something strong both in melody and message. Most of the videoclip visuals talk for themselves. And again, singing one portion in English and then hit it hard with their native language, something that is becoming less common in both ESC and JESC but reinvindicated slowly recently. One of the songs not into my "greatest" favorites, but if David wins or enters the Top 3, this can be not only surprising, but also give Kazakhstan their boost to enter the adults' ESC and the victory they could have had years ago.

🇷🇸 Katarina Savić "Svet Bez Granica":

Serbia at JESC. If there's something they like to do well, regarding their rhythm and their place at the voting results, is to send their melodies in their native language. And if I expected my thought of "Jovana and Dunja are JESC's Hurricane but only two of them and more into a ballad" to be the only "JESC-ESC" coincidence I imagined, this year's JESC song was something that made me say "This is the Molitva (Serbia's ESC winning song at 2007) of JESC..."

Calm, orchestrally soothing, moving vocals and graceful movements at the videoclip...The song (after researching a bit) talks about the feeling of finding your true love, not letting anything to diminish it, and telling it in a poetic way to everyone. And THE TROMBONE, FROM ALL THE INSTRUMENTS. Katarina plays the trombone in a way that surprisingly complements the song well. While again, not into my "greatest" favorites, this song is soothing for relaxing you and help you rest well. I could give her a chance :D

🇫🇷 Lissandro "Oh Maman!":

Now returning to your scheduled moving songs...

France giving quality JESC songs 4 times in a row? Yes, it's not an illusion. From Carla's "Bim Bam Toi" to Valentina's "J' Imagine", followed by Enzo's "Tic Tac", and now succeded by Lissandro's "Oh Maman!". And each one not dropping the quality of the other, regardless of the rhythm.

This is, in my POV, what happens when one mixes Enzo with "Hamilton" with a portion of "Bohemian Rhapsody" and "I'm Still Standing", and luckily, it resulted fantastic! Look at him, just vibing and imagining himself being a superstar at the stage, living his dreams and telling everyone about them. :3 Not for my "podium" favorites, but let's be honest, with that French tone and happy vibes, he can get easily into the Top 5!

Ps. Stupid Pokemon X/Y-related random thoughts in my mind. I know Lissandro is derived from Lyssandre and so on, but please, this kid is NOTHING like said villain!

🇵🇱 Laura "To The Moon":

After their second place at the podium of last year's JESC, Poland had to put their bar higher or at least the same Sara James left for this year's JESC. And MY GOSH, this electronic space-vibing song got the spot BY FAR!

The setting of the videoclip could not be more futuristic than ever, and reminds me of Malta's entry by far. Laura's imagination and curiosity come true, even for just some minutes, complementing the song's vibes. She is one of the strongest contenders in this edition, competing with the Netherlands, Malta, UK, Spain and so on with such good moving vibes! Not the "greatest" favorite of mine, but hey, maybe Poland could get a second victory or Top 3 in a row? :o

Ps. Finally, an accurate depiction about how some folks like me are like in an interactive museum: a neurodivergent playground to explore and be curious and imagine! ;w;

The third part will come soon!

#esc cause why not #jesc 2022 #nicky's chatter

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leoninapelliolovesconchitawurst · 2 years

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ENGLISH TRANSLATION (by me)

queer.de (01/08/22)

How did the first ZDF show from SchwuZ, Conchita Wurst, come about?

The new music show "Music Impossible" will start on ZDF on Friday - moderated by ESC winner Tom Neuwirth. We spoke to him about the unusual concept, the first guests and the queer recording location in Berlin.

Drag icon, ESC winner and performer Tom Neuwirth aka Conchita Wurst moderates a new ZDF music show: "Music Impossible" juxtaposes artists from opposite genres who are supposed to perform their own song in the style of their counterpart. Neuwirth supports the participants with advice and action, but also surprises them with one or two additional tasks. The on-site spectators at SchwuZ in Berlin decide, based on the strength of the applause, which person is better at leaving their own comfort zone.

In the first two episodes, pop singer Marianne Rosenberg and rapper Eko Fresh as well as heavy metal artist Doro Pesch and pop star Mike Singer fight for the audience's favor. The first show will be broadcast on ZDF on Friday 2 September at 11.30pm, with the second following a week later at the same time. The episodes will then also be available in the ZDF media library.

We had the opportunity to ask Tom Neuwirth a few questions after the recording.

Q: The title "Music Impossible" describes an almost impossible task: how difficult do you find the challenge of "assimilating" another genre?

A: At first glance, the musical challenges seem impossible: a rap as a hit, a pop song in a heavy metal guise... hence the title of the show. The subtitle is "My song. Your sound." – that pretty much sums up the format. And I think the challenge is very difficult.

Q: What aspect makes the concept so entertaining for you?

A: That you look beyond your own nose - both musically and in the presentation of art. I hate narrow-mindedness and the stupid idea that everyone has to stay within their own boundaries. What are our limits, who sets them? What I like about "Music Impossible" is that established stars step out of their comfort zone and visibly endure insecurities. It's something that should encourage us all. Because it shows that we are all only human.

Q: In addition to the genre rearrangement, viewers can also look forward to additional challenges?

A: The additional challenges are very different and should actually be completely new for the artists: hitting and holding high notes in the head voice, rapping a certain number of syllables, playing guitar riffs - none of these are impossible challenges, but also a bit outside of the comfort zone and completely new for the artists.

Q: Can the desired stylistic change work?

A: Of course it can work - the finished new songs on the show are the best proof of that! And I think the idea of reworking existing material and immersing it in a new perfume is wonderful - that's what I do with "Rise Like a Phoenix", for example, which originally has a bombastic orchestral accompaniment. At concerts I've been playing it in a very reduced way with acoustic guitar accompaniment lately - and it already seems completely different, almost like a different song.

Q: How successful do you think the composition of the artist duos was? According to which criteria were the artists combined?

A: I think the combinations are great! Schlager meets rap, or the pop star Mike Singer meets the queen of heavy metal Doro Pesch - the musicians couldn't be more different, and yet there are connections in all of their paths in life or in their work, which we can find out through the talks on the show. On the one hand, the genres should be further apart, and on the other hand, with our successful and hard-working artists, it is always a question of the availability of dates between their own concerts and projects.

Q: Could you imagine yourself participating?

A: Yes, I could definitely imagine taking part myself - and I would have liked to swap genres with all the previous artists! I love different styles - that's why none of my songs sound like another! (laughs) Personally, I would find death metal or folk music quite challenging, I think.

Q: How many episodes are planned?

A: We shot two episodes of 50 minutes each. And of course we hope that we can go into series and shoot a whole season - many artists have shown great interest, now we just have to find suitable dates for the different duos! And I would be extremely happy if we could expand the offer to Austria and Switzerland, because there are also excellent and versatile musicians there!

Q: This is your first own ZDF show: How important is TV presenting in your career at the moment?

A: I've been doing TV since I was 17 - that was my real start in the entertainment business. And I've also had the privilege of moderating many programs in the musical field: the Amadeus Austrian Music Awards, the Green Room of the Eurovision Song Contest in Vienna, Stefan Raab's European Song Contest and much more. In short: I love to moderate and above all to have conversations with people. And I have the feeling that TV makers are realizing more and more which formats I really like.

Q: Do you already have other TV projects in mind?

A: None for me to talk about! (laughs) When it comes to television, it's often important that someone at a large desk approves a project. So that I can still offer my fans as much entertainment as possible, which is produced according to my own rules, my team and I founded wursttv.com - my own video streaming platform! Netflix for the Wurst, so to speak! (laughs) I think the extension of TV to the Internet is extremely important and will become even more important in the coming years. "Music Impossible" is also available in the ZDF media library - around the clock and everywhere!

Q: The queer cultural stronghold SchwuZ in Berlin-Neukölln is the venue: To what extent does the show have a queer self-image?

A: The presenter of the program walks through Germany with make-up and in high heels, and we don't make that an issue, it's just the way it is. I don't think there can be more queer self-image! Of course there is a lot to do for queer rights, but the show is mainly about music and the stories of the protagonists. My own queerness slips along as a matter of course, and that's what I like about the format.

Q: How do you rate the representation of queer artists in this country?

A: I think that a lot has happened in terms of queer representation in the German media - just what Riccardo Simonetti does, for example, is irreplaceable queer work on TV! But while there's always been a lot of queerness in the arts, music, and entertainment industries, I think it's best if it's taken for granted that each person is who they are. But that will probably take a while...

Q:In the first episode, the five-time participant in the ESC preliminary round, Marianne Rosenberg, is there. Is this Eurovision reference intentional?

A:I don't think so - Marianne is an icon of the German music landscape and I actually still can't believe that she's there for the start of the show! Because in addition to all the joy and professionalism, I have to admit that every time I meet the artists, I am one thing above all: a huge fangirl and very "starstruck"! (laughs)

#conchitawurst #wurst #tomneuwirth #singer #artist #esc2014 #escwinner #music #songwriter #performer #celebrity #interview #article #translation

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your-friendly-weird-guy · 2 years

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I've seen this really old trend (I think it was a trend) on the KMFDM tag that I just wanna do for fun. So I offer my favorite my favorite songs per album

KMFDM favorite songs by album

I can’t believe as much as I love this band I had to go back through and see what songs are on what album smh

Opium - EASY! It’s “The Smell” Honestly? That album isn’t the best, and I can’t listen to any of the songs on it besides “The Smell”. Makes me imagine a killer with a murder cave of sorts with their newest victim.

WDYKD? (What Do You Know, Deutschland?) - Easily “Me I Funk”. Don’t know what it is about that song that I like.

Don’t Blow Your Top - REALLY tied between the title track and “No Meat - No Man”, though I am going to have to go with the title track. The first verse (is that right) is awesome.

UAIOE - The title track. Hearing Sascha Konietzko’s voice in that song? Look, I’m a simple man and needed a new voice to simp over after I found out Terrance Zdunich was a TERRIBLE human being, and after hearing that song? SOLD-

Naive - “Piggybank”. I wanna sing it to whoever becomes my partner if I ever learn how to sing tbh.

Money - “Spiritual House” I like the dark tone I say it has to the beat. Though I also like the title track because the opening reminds me of a fun secret spy thing or whatever (Even if the song is talking about drug dealing)

Angst - “A Hole in The Wall” Another one of those songs I wanna sing to whoever I get with. Plus the line “When I have to die then I want to suffocate between your sweet breasts.” is my favorite.

Nihil - I would say “Juke-Joint Jezebel” but “Revolution” is looking mighty fine over there- I actually like both songs so I’m saying both.

Xtort - “Power” Honestly? Gets me going into a burst of energy, so it’s a favorite. Plus “Industrial soundtrack to the holy wars!” is an awesome line.

Symbols - STRAY BULLET! FROM THE BARREL OF LOVE- Ahem… I love “Stray Bullet” more than anyone should, so it’s definitely that. Plus we must reclaim that song from the TCC people who like two very bad people WAAAY too much.

Adios - The title track because honestly? For a “farewell” album? IT SUCKS- like, legitimately.

Attak - “Sleep” Really underrated because I’ve never seen anyone talk about it ANYWHERE. I imagine two characters going undercover, one reassuring the other, before striking.

WWIII - “Bullets, Bombs, and Bigotry” Brace yourself for World War Three ;)

Hau Ruck - The title track! Makes me imagine all of the industrial/factory-esc areas I have for my characters, and them working hard.

Tohuvabohu - “Bumaye” I agree with anyone who says it makes them feel powerful, because it does. If I had the CD I would probably strip this track specifically and make a little animation to the german (is it german?) verse… IF I KNEW WHAT IT MEANT-

Blitz - This one is really hard because I’ve never really cared to listen to the entire album, but I’ll have to go with “Me & My Gun”. It gives me a trigger happy character from a video game vibes.

WTF!? - “Dystopia”! If I had better drawing ideas then I’d probably draw something to this. Gives me the vibes of someone promising something to another person.

Kunst - “Quake”, though the title track does tie with this song.

Our Time WIll Come - “Salvation”, easily, with no elaboration.

Hell Yeah - A tie between the title track and “TOTAL STATE MACHINE” (Especially with everything going on in the U.S by the time I post this.)

Paradise - “Megalo” A creepy, eerie, dystopian, futuristic version of Megalomaniac? YES PLEASE! Or at least that’s the feel I get from on.

That was a lot. Lots of opinions and shit, but it's whatever

...

Why are you still here?

#kmfdm #kmfdm sucks #weirdos ramblings

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balkanballad · 2 years

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Eurovision 2022 ranking

another year, another ranking. as I did with the previous years, I, again, ranked all the songs with numbers but I also put them into categories (from 💐 to 🥀) and added a short comment. let’s go:

💐:

1. Cyprus: I had a shitty day when I first listened to it but I instantly loved it and that is the best feeling with esc songs for me. I love it. I love the Greek parts so much, I think it's catchy, it has an old-school esc feeling to it (I mean like 00s and earlier 10s) that I miss so much sometimes. It feels good to hear them sound more like them again. I missed this vibe so much, I love this vibe so much and will always love it. Thank you, Cyprus. I was so done with the random Spanish words songs, I listened to those too, but this is what I wanted. I'm tearing up again lmao but sometimes I miss when things felt easier and there's a certain nostalgia here for me. It also reminds me of the beach and having a good time. I miss everything again. anyway, yay!!

2. Estonia: I’ve been rooting for Stefan for a while now and I am so happy that he’s finally going to eurovision!! I really like him and I love the song. I like the message and how catchy it is. however, I hope (lol) that they change the staging. it does not need that weird duel between the random cowboys.

3. Portugal: another favourite of mine that won the national final! I love the lyrics, love that they hit a spot in my heart, and the whole atmosphere of this song is soo lovely. I think it fits very well into the category of soft songs that I instantly love.

4. Romania: yes! I don’t only love ballads, I also can very much appreciate a good dance song and for me this is definitely one of those. it’s catchy, it makes me want to get up and dance and it stays in my head for a while in the best way.

5. Spain: this song grew so much on me, but only the studio version. I think she will perform really well, I just don’t love the live vocals that much. the song is not that deep, maybe even a bit silly like a lot of these faster dance songs have been before, e.g. Cyprus the previous years, but I listen to it a lot and I like the mood it puts me in which is similar to Romania.

6. Moldova: wedding vibes!! iykyk. good for them and for us. I can’t wait to see how this will look on the big stage because I think it will be fun and it will be a big party.

7. Macedonia: a good song! I don’t listen to it that much simply because it’s not on spotify and that’s where I mainly listen to the songs. I can’t tell rn whether that’s helping with the ranking or not, but I can tell you that I like the lyrics, her voice and the tempo a lot. I think it’s powerful and I really hope that the staging will be cool (and simple). I would also love to hear a Macedonian version of this because I bet that it also would sound good.

8. Belgium: a beautiful song. the lyrics are great, his voice is so good. It has a slight James Bond-ish type film vibe to it, but I don’t mind that. I say this once again, even though I have never watched a single Bond film, but the sound still reminds me of it somehow.

🌺:

9. Australia: I like this! I am now realizing that my number 7, 8 and 9 probably all fall into a similar category, but I like them all. this took a few listens for me. The lyrics with this song also hit in a way that sometimes they do when you look into your reflection on the dirty train’s window after a long shift on a Saturday night and around you there are drunk people and you wonder what your life has become. I like the nearly musical number feeling it has. the only thing that I am not so sure about is the glittery mask thing.

10. Armenia: a bit like Croatia, but I think this one is more interesting and makes, at least to me, more sense. or maybe I simply relate to it more. one tiny thing is that something about the way she pronounces some words is a bit, just tiny bit, annoying to me. I still listen to and enjoy it a lot.

11. Austria: is Austria allowed to use words for song titles that are not heaven/bible themed? anyway, the places that this song moved in my own ranking!! I had it at 30. first but then I got into it while speed walking to work and now I like it! I am even tempted to move it up higher because atm this is exactly what I like listening to. it reminds me of Charli XCX and Rina Sawayama and that kind of pop category. I am worried how this will sound live though.

12. Croatia: this also really grew on me and this still isn’t the last time you are going to read this in my ranking. I like it now. is it a bit forgettable and are the lyrics confusing to me? yeah, but I like listening to it.

13. Czechia: first, I was rather bored by this song it but I like it now.

14. Greece: phew, this one took me some time to process and get used to. my first reaction was that I hate the title and the whole theme of this song. it just didn’t find me at the right time to make me think about these things, so it was the opposite of what Cyprus did to me. I was also hoping for something more like Cyprus, but now I’m happy that they are not sending similar songs. I’m still not sure how I feel about the lyrics, but I can listen to it now, sing along and just let it be a song. I like the melody in the middle part a lot, the other parts also needed some getting used to it. why is it still ranked so high? I think there is definitely something appealing about the whole song, plus her voice is lovely unique!

15. Azerbaijan: a little bit slow and I think it gets interesting a too late into the song, but I like it. I simply like ballads. thematicalyl it is a bit like Greece, but here, thankfully, the lyrics don’t haunt me. on the other hand, everything else is less interesting than the Greek entry.

16. UK: I think the UK has sent in the past few years some very okay songs and I think this is another really okay song! the lyrics are interesting and also could be used for a good staging, because there are a few opportunities to make this look cool. It also might even be catchy enough this time, because I think that it is that as well, but we will see what will happen.

🌻:

17. Ireland: apparently the theme for me this year is ‘this grew on me’ but it did. now I listen to it. or maybe I just accepted it after listening to it a lot. I think the lyrics are silly, but with this type of song it’s okay. it also reminds me of a song they would use for a tv ad, but a catchy one. as so often with faster songs, I am not sure how good the live vocals will be, but, also as so often with faster songs, will that matter that much in the end? Will Ireland make it to the final? we will see.

18. The Netherlands: okay! I don’t think much about it and only listen to it when it comes on randomly, but when I listen to it, I like it. I also like that it’s in Dutch.

19. Iceland: I’m not crazy about it, but it’s cute. maybe a tiny bit boring. I wouldn’t mind seeing them sing something with Stefan if they should meet somewhere.

20. Malta: this one is a shame because I liked the first choice a lot more and had it in my top 10 and now this is rather basic. it’s not a bad song, but it again goes into that direction that they have been pushing for a while now. I also wasn’t surprised to read who is behind this song, but I like her voice and I think she will give a good performance.

21. Sweden: it’s alright and it will place high because it’s Sweden, of course. the lyrics should really be my thing, but somehow, I don’t love the song. maybe this will need a bit more of me listening to it. right now, I just think it’s okay, nothing special. I also don’t love watching the performance, idk. it’s not that I dislike it, but I simply don’t love it.

22. Israel: fast, catchy, okay. however, it’s also a bit annoying in a way that it is just over the top and not as empowering as I think they wanted it to come across.

23. Switzerland: I put this in the same category as Greece in terms of what are the lyrics behind these? I am just confused by some of the parts. the song is fine other than that and it is indeed okay for boys to cry! it is okay for anyone to cry. I like his voice and the melody is cute. it’s maybe a bit boring after the first confusion, so I don’t find myself listening to it often, but I can listen to it as long as I don’t focus too much on it.

🌼:

24. Poland: I don’t love his voice. the song is okay, but I don’t like the opera-ish parts. I actually get a bit annoyed by those parts even, so I sometimes only listen to the first part of this song and then skip it.

25. France: alright. inspired by Ukraine ‘21? it’s okay, I think a lot of us were inspired by it and I like that! the live performance was a bit too messy for me though and I was confused by all of the things happening at once and everywhere. I also don’t love the edm or you know whatever those bass dance music parts are called. I sound like I am 60 years old... but yeah.

26. Ukraine: I listen to it, but I don’t love all parts of it - the folk influence is nice, however, I am not a rap/fast speaking fan. not many more thoughts. Ukraine is good at the whole esc game and I am pretty sure that they will make it to the final this year as well. good for them.

27. Slovenia: something different from Slovenia this year. I think it’s nice that it’s in Slovenian and I think that they might profit from this being the only song that is like this. there is no other song in the semi, in both semis actually, like this one. again, I don’t listen to it that much because it’s not on spotify (yet?). it’s also not really my preferred genre, but I don’t hate it and can appreciate it being there.

28. Lithuania: it’s okay. I somehow don’t vibe with the performance from the nf. I also don’t love the song or her voice, but it’s okay. I can listen to it when it comes on, but I often skip it too.

29. Montenegro: a deep message behind it and really personal, but the song itself is a bit boring to me and sometimes also too much when I think about it too long and then I have to skip it or not watch the video.

30. Albania: oh, Albania.. the English revamp was not necessary. I think it made it worse. the song itself before was already too much for me. there are too many things, sounds, now also languages, swaps, genres etc. trying to fit in a 3 min. song. some parts I like, but then it switches and I don’t like it. to keep my train associations: this reminds me of getting onto a train and getting overwhelmed by everything - the mask on my face, too many people talking, at least I can find a seat and sit down, but then some random person decides to sit way too close to me and my heart beats too fast.

31. Bulgaria: I think this song has an old-school feeling to it, which I like (I promise that I am not 60 years old), but what is this song about? the genre also makes it a bit hard for me to rank it higher because it is not really my genre.

🥀:

32. Denmark: Italy and France from last year in one entry, but make it English and family friendly. maybe it needs a few more times of me listening to this to appreciate it more, but so far, I didn’t feel like doing that.

33. Finland: okay? feels also old-ish and goes in the same direction as Bulgaria for me (again: what are these lyrics? what is this song about?), so, not my genre really and I don’t feel like I can say too much about it, but even though it’s all that, I can still listen to it.

34. Italy: not for me. it’s slow and I am bored by it. I also don’t think that their voices go together, but I am generally not a Mahmood fan. Soldi was at least catchy, but this one is simply not my cup of tea.

35. Germany: look at this, Germany is not in my bottom 3. that is already a lot coming from me. I really don't like the talking-ish parts but I never really like those in any song. I hardly ever feel like listening to this song.

36. Serbia: too artsy trying for me and I just don’t find myself wanting to listen to it. tbh I don’t like anything really about it, but hey, it is in Serbian at least.

37. Georgia: a bit too repetitive. I bet the staging will be big or a message or something but I don’t really listen to this song ever.

38. San Marino: messy? also, inspired by Italy last year I am guessing, which already was not for me either.

39. Norway: nop. I am not big for ‘meme’ or ‘joke’ entries. I don’t like the masks, the title or the song.

40. Latvia: same as with Norway, but at least they are not wearing masks? or maybe I would be more comfortable if they were. the first sentence is already so off putting to me and makes me feel uncomfortable. the whole thing does actually. I don’t have a train association for this one, but for me being on tinder feels like this song. so, yeah. worst vibes for me and my last place.

#j. talks #eurovision #here it is. as always feel free to let me know your thoughts too #and once may happens surely some will change again

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betweenthetimeandsound · 3 years

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Three Minutes to Eternity: My ESC 250 (#180-171)

#180: Fernando Tordo -- Tourada (Portugal 1973)

“Entram guizos, chocas e capotes, E mantilhas pretas, Entram espadas, chifres e derrotes, E alguns poetas, Entram bravos, cravos e dichotes, Porque tudo mais são tretas,”

“Bells, cowbells and capes are coming in, And black mantillas Swords, big horns and defeats are coming in And some poets Brave people, carnations and swear words are coming in Because it's a wheeze at most”

Despite the title ("tourada" translates to bullfight in Portuguese), it's actually a portrait of a revolution in the making. The lyrics were so clever that the censors at the RTP didn’t notice these lyrics were reflecting the current regime.

That’s enough for a 250 appearance for me, but there’s more that makes the song so memorable.

The build with the brass and percussion sets the stage for something important to happen. Sometimes, I do forget I like this song, but listening to it like right now is an experience, like one entering the battlefield.

The last line, "And the intelligent man says that songs are over..." still amuses me, though it's quite cynical in that the intellectuals would eventually not believe in the movement.

Personal ranking: 5th/17 Actual ranking: 10th/17 in Luxembourg

#179: France Gall -- Poupée de cire, poupée de son (Luxembourg 1965)

“Suis-je meilleure, suis-je pire qu’une poupée de salon? Je vois la vie en rose bonbon Poupée de cire, poupée de son”

“Am I better, am I worse than a fashion doll? I see life through bright rosy-tinted glasses Wax doll, sawdust doll”

One of the game-changing songs of Eurovision, in that the general mood shifts from slow-tempo songs to a little bit of pop. The first ten contests had their share of good songs, but seem to blur into each other at points. Afterwards, the song quality rose, and they were better suited to the times.

Beyond the happy orchestral sound is something quite sad—a pretty girl who sings songs without experiencing what they mean. Gainsbourg was quite the songwriter, but it led to a falling out between him and France later on, because of the double meanings of the songs he wrote for her.

The drama related to France Gall and the contest didn't stop there. Kathy Kirby, the runner-up that year, slapped France when she won. Then her boyfriend broke up with her shortly after, and wrote a song that would be the basis of "My Way".

Quite interesting I must say, though I don’t come back to this song often.

Personal and actual ranking: 1st/18 in Naples

#178: Ajda Pekkan -- Petr'oil (Turkey 1980)

"Öyle gururlusun gidemem yanına Girmişsin kim bilir kaç aşığın kanına Dolardan, marktan başka laf çıkmaz dilinden Neler, neler çekiyorum senin elinden"

"You are so proud, I can’t come close to you I wonder who else suffers from your love You speak of nothing but dollars and marks I am so suffering because of you"

My 1980 winner is not only quite groovy and seductive, but also clever.

The 1970s had two major oil crises--one in 1973, and another in 1979. The first one was when OPEC withheld their oil from countries who supported Israel during the Yom Kippur, and the second one when oil production stopped during the Iranian Revolution, resulting in higher prices per barrel. Both resulted in low supply and increased gas prices in the United States; those who grew up during the era were less likely to drive as a result.

Petr'oil takes this issue and anthromorphizes it, as Ajda sings about the troubles of relying oil as a resource and as a partner. The belly-dance music also emphasizes the tension. combined with the percussion and strings on this piece.

While Ajda has since distanced herself from the song, I embrace it in all its charms. Plus it was heavily underrated in its year.

Personal ranking: 1st/19 Actual ranking: 15th/19 in Den Haag

Final Impressions on 1980: This year stands out a bit, for it had a number of songs dealing with a huge number of topics (including Belgium's "Euro-Vision", which made the contest go meta, haha). Alongside it, the production was a bit bare-bones, because of the Netherlands hosting it four years earlier, but it featured quirks such as a representative announcing their country's song, Morocco competing for the only time, and a steel band for the interval!

#177: The Allisons -- Are you sure? (United Kingdom 1961)

“Are you sure you won’t be sorry? Comes tomorrow, you won’t want me Back again to hold you tightly?”

The lyrics are quite smug, in that the Allisons warn the girl who plans to break up with them she might be sorry and alone. Not unlike with "If I Were Sorry", though there's a bit more charm and teasing towards their soon-to-be ex-, whereas the latter feels a bit more arrogant.

That said, it’s upbeat and almost lines up to the musical scene at the time (comparisons to Buddy Holly are not uncommon), and the musical run time just goes by so quickly (in comparison to other entries of the same era)! It's just a breeze.

Personal ranking: 1st/16 Actual ranking: 2nd/16 in Cannes

#176: Vicky Leandros: L'amour est bleu (Luxembourg 1967)

“Bleu, bleu, l'amour est bleu, Berce mon cœur, mon cœur amoureux, Bleu, bleu, l'amour est bleu, Bleu comme le ciel qui joue dans tes yeux.”

“Blue, blue, love is blue, Cradle my heart, my loving heart Blue, blue, love is blue Blue like the sky which play in your eyes."”

I think I first heard this in the intro to Eurovision 2006's semi-final. While the harp motif stood out, I didn't know where it came from. It was until when I watched the contest this song was in, which is strange because it was notable for having a Paul Mauriat cover which became a hit.

One of many classics which featured in 1960s contests, I like the innocence shown through the lyrics, which uses color and imagery to tell about the different cycles of love. The orchestration along the bridge was especially spectacular, as it provided a cinematic feel towards . Vicky’s accent sometimes gets in the way, but she sings this well and should’ve gotten a podium position.

Personal ranking: 2nd/17 Actual ranking: 4th/17 in Vienna

#175: Kaija -- Ullu joy Hullu yö (Finland 1991)

"En edes halunnut sua omistaa En edes leikisti rakastaa Kaksi kulkijaa yhteen osuttiin Yksi yhteinen hetki jaettiin"

"I didn’t even want to own you I didn’t even want to love you We two travellers came across each other Shared one common moment together"

While I was watching Eurovision 1991, I liked the mysterious verses of Hullu yo, but I found the chorus a bit off, because it was punchier and more energetic. It also had that "minor-verse/major chorus" thing going on, which also made me uneasy with the song. With a few listens, I grew to like a bit more, because of its unique sound. It definitely sounds better with the studio cut versus the live, which shows off the failures of RAI's orchestra.

Another thing about the song, beyond its lyrics about a one-night-stand turned into longing feelings, was the choice choreography. Playing out the turmoiled relationship, it's funny to see how provocative it is, and that's after Toto's hilarious pronunciation of the song.

Elements of the live performance aside, it's still a jam which deserved better. Maybe it would've done so in the televote era.

Personal ranking: 7th/22 Actual ranking: 20th/22 in Rome

#174: Francoise Hardy -- L'amour s'en va (Monaco 1963)

“Si ce n’est toi Ce sera moi qui m’en irai L’amour s’en va Et nous n’y pourrons rien changer"

"If it isn’t you It will be me who will go away Love goes away And we can’t change anything about that"

I was happily surprised hearing this for the first time. It was very melancholic, with an interesting structure between the verses and the chorus. The percussion also helps with the latter, and adds a bit of character to the song.

The fact Francoise wrote this classic gem also warmed me up more to the song, especially because she was from the ye-ye generation of singers (which are known for being young and upbeat). Yet she stands and sings her own composition in a serious, almost bored tone, without taking the substance of the song away

(That being said, I really need to listen to more of her songs; I've found a couple a month ago, though there's obviously more...)

Personal ranking: 2nd/16 Actual ranking: 5th/16 in London

#173: ABBA -- Waterloo (Sweden 1974)

“The history book on the shelf is always repeating itself...”

You don’t need me to tell about this, do you? It’s fun and timeless pop, with some cool costumes to boot.

For more interesting stuff for both, the song Waterloo was an actual risk for the contest--they actually had another song for consideration, the folk-influenced Hasta Manana, but turned to this instead. And it worked, of course!

For the clothes, ABBA apparently chose these glam-rock inspired costumes because in Sweden, one wouldn't have to pay additional fees if the costumes won't be used for normal wear. Both Anni-frid and Agnetha look great, nevertheless.

And as of the moment, my favorite ABBA song is "Knowing Me, Knowing You". Despite the poppy tone, it has a moody vibe throughout, and one knows the relationship is going to end on a bad note.

Personal ranking: 2nd/17 Actual ranking: 1st/17 in Brighton

#172: Gigliola Cinquetti -- Si (Italy 1974)

“Sì, dolcemente dissi sì, Per provare un'emozione, Che non ho avuto mai,”

“Yes, I softly said yes, To feel an emotion That I've never had before”

My friend told me an interesting story about the lyrics—whereas the song Gigliola won with tells of a girl waiting to grow older to find true love, Si talks of the girl growing up and taking the plunge. So she interprets Si as a sequel of sorts.

So why does this beat Waterloo, in my opinion?

I like how the song starts—quietly, but with an interesting guitar part. The instrumentation builds well towards the "Si...", at which it gently but certainly blooms towards Gigliola's certainty on going with the man she loves.

The interesting part of it was how the song was censored in Italy because it was seen as "subliminal messaging" for a campaign on a divorce referendum that May. "Si" sounds like an endorsement for the "no" campaign, as it embraces being in love, even if it requires the death of another relationship.

Personal ranking: 1st/17 Actual ranking: 2nd/17 in Brighton

Final Impressions on 1974: Definitely one of the most memorable years in the contest, if only for who won. The rest was a tale of two halves, with the first half being particularly good, and the other half bad (except for Si, as you can tell). And there were Wombles in the interval act, hehe.

#171: Eugent Bushpepa -- Mall (Albania 2018)

“Lot i patharë ndriçojë këtë natë Sonte kumbo prej shpirtit pa fjalë Vetëm një çast dhimbja të më ndalë”

“Lingering tear, light up this night Find your way out, to soothe my soul Just for one day make this pain subside”

Aren’t the lyrics to this so beautiful? They convey Eugent’s desire to be with his loved one so well, in both its pain and beauty.

The music really helps too--while the pre-vamped version was a whole minute longer, it also has a rockier edge to it. The revamped version cuts it down and cleans up the production, but it's still maintains the overall feel throughout.

Eugent is also a talented talented singer, which proved initial odds wrong and got Albania one of its best results! The bridge between the second verse and chorus has a great chord progression (which was given more space in the revamp), and he deserved qualification for that alone. And those high notes.

(Also, he's probably the best dressed guy of his year...good job Eugent, good job.)

Personal ranking: 7th/43 Actual ranking: 11th/26 GF in Lisbon

#eurovision song contest #esc 250 #esc top 250 #esc portugal #esc luxembourg #esc turkey #esc united kingdom #esc finland #esc monaco #esc sweden #esc italy #esc albania #vintage eurovision #three minutes to eternity

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borisbubbles · 4 years

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17. CZECH REPUBLIC

Benny Christo - “Kemama”

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So first off, thank you for the nice commens. 😇The past few months haven’t been the happiest time for me, so thank you for your patience as I scraped my bearings together for another post! 😁

So I will now extend that same sympathy to Benny Christo, whom I think I damn fucking underrated. Let’s jump in~

ENTRY ANALYSIS

As one may expect i INSTANTLY liked “Kemama” because you know, it’s a fun, laid-back, tropical afro-breeze, completely different from anything else we would see in NFs and the year. EXACTLY the type of song I was hoping the Czech NF would deliver (and deliver they did, see NF Corner). This level of mild like swung into strong unironic like upon realizing that the title is a contraction of “Okay Mother” 😍 and the song deals with the subject of overcoming racially-tinged discrimination and rising above the hate. That just feels very poetic and apt? “Kemama” felt like the entry that had to overcome the highest odds in order to earn the respect it so fully deserves, and still hasn’t fully reached it.

.In our Western European bubble, comprised mostly of gays and left-liberal straights, we have a very grateful and universal acceptance of many different kinds of [lizard] people that make up Eurovision casts. Yet with “Kemama” we may have reached an unusually grimy undercurrent of coded racism.

Of course nothing I read was outrageously rancid, than Cod for that. The worst statement I read was a double-whammy of “EWW THIS ISN’T CARIBBEANVISION” and “WHY WOULD SOMEONE FROM *KENYA* WANT TO REP CZECHIA IN EUROVISION?”, and yes they first got the continent wrong and then *also* got the country wrong in the follow-up post and then they were torn limb from limb by a pack of aformentioned left-liberals. I’m sorry but i can’t not have any other response than laughter in the face of yet another fucking MORON faceplanting themselves with words like a... racist JK Rowling if you will?

Still, while I never read something outright vile about Benny doesn’t mean I found his deniers really annoying and they were! Think “Ew Solovey is ‘Too Aggressive’ it will NEVER DO WELL IN ESC”, a statement that isn’t coded nor racist (and yet extremely false and misguided), functioned as a similar idea by the same minds. A statement borne from the same breed of narrow-minded stubbornness which has caused elitist morons to be all “there is **SOMETHING** about “Kemama” i do *NOT* like and I cannot lay my finger on it... but I **DO NOT** like it at ALL. It won’t ever qualify because everyone will think the same way I do” -- Eurovision snobs, tiptoeing around racial coda in January 2020.

They would also insist that Benny was “arrogant” because he was seemingly impervious to their (de)constructive criticism. Like, if you were a biracial butterfly living in a slavic country who had to deal with statements such as the above on a regular basis, you WOULD block out the noise. And if you heard them often enough you will start to block them out pre-emptively. DO YOU NOT KNOW HOW COPING MECHANISMS WORK?? (oh wait you’re white-privileged. Nevermind 🙄)

So naturally, when Benny decided that he would revamp “Okay Mother” by adding in MORE African elements it only made me love him even more lol. 😍 Was it a bull-headed, contrarian and possibly really stupid decision? Yes, yes and absolutely yes. Was it worth it? Well he managed to incite even more meltdowns in a group of people I feel nothing but contempt for, so hell yeah? Eurovision was cancelled anyway so who cares how much ‘worse’ “Kemama” actually got.

Okay, so we’ve arrived at the revamp.

Granted, it wasn’t the best ‘vamp, I’d be a fool to deny it. The new elements threw a wrench in the melodic balance of the song. Out went tropical laid-back fun, IN went that fucking guitar oh my god this is some Hotel FM piano levels of overbearing I swear. (nb: this still didn’t stop me from ironically stanning Hotel FM’s lame asses anyway 😍). However, it made the personal backstory that I loved and savoured take a backseat to the now inferior composition. 😭

Regardless, New Kemama was fundamentally the same song, and I fundamentally liked Old Kemama, so whatevs, it made no different to me. In the eyes of many Eurovision diehards we were experiencing WORST PRESHOW SEASON EVER (after three songs... lol) and nothing clinches this brainworm more than a revamp announcement. “OH MY GOD HE WILL RUIN IT! I CAN GUARANTEE YOU I *WON’T* LIKE IT”. Self-fulfilling prophecies, ya know? It certainly didn’t help when the official channel accidentally uploaded a vid with broken soundmixing (‘OMG HORRIBLE LAST IN THE SEMI!!!!’ calm the ever-loving HELL down) and took another FULL WEEK to upload the correct vid. The damage had already been done. Typing "SEE I TOLD YOU THE REVAMP WOULD BE SHITE HA HA HA” in the Kemama comment box really just is the ESC equivalent of reponding with “Actually, *all* lives matter :smug:” to a BLM support pamphlet, isn’t it?

NF CORNER

While not my favourite NF of the bunch, I found the Czech NF to be lowkey epic. Not epic enough to remember its name but regardless Czechvision or whatever marked the end of an era because it was also the last selection spearheaded by Jan Bors :o

I think I’ve made it clear enough in the past that I’m somewhat mixed on Bors Era Czechia - Lake Malawi were a toetapping good, Ickolas was a pockmarked, skin-crawling evil and the other three inhibit a purgatory somewhere between “moderately nice” and “moderate timewaste.”

Still, I have great respect for the man who orchestrated Czech’s comeback after scoring NINE POINTS TOTAL across three years with the mindset of “So what? Why says we can’t win?” so ofc I was all into the idea of the “EIGHT INDIE ANGELS, HAND-PICKED BY BORS HIMSELF” NF that would serve as his swan song.

Naturally things went down the drain the second Bors left, with one of the eight peacing and his successor cancelling the live broadcast (does anyone remember what exactly happened? I vaguely recall one was the cause of the other but lol it’s July can’t be bothered to factscheck (Factsczeck?) anymore, bitches.

Anyway, ON TO THE GOOD STUFF, and yes, there was plenty.

We All Poop - “ All the Blood (Positive Song Actually)”

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Yes, as you can imagine I ofc IMMEDIATELY fell into like when I saw that chyron and invisioned the inevitability of the Czech Rep’s Rep immediately alienating every parent just based on their name alone <3 😍 w/e WAP quickly became that “Good but not great” song you find in every NF that everyone gushes over because it’s the whitest option available. Like, yes, “All the blood” is good, but musically it’s identical to Green Day and Twenty-One Pilots and god name ANY 90s-early00′s American Punk Rock band. For me the enjoyment came from the fact that WAP were openly crazy vegan fundamentalists and the VC clip actively condemns the use ANY animal protein by replacing the cattle and game with LITERAL HUMAN BEINGS. 😍 :fusedmarcintensifies: :kasiamosage:

Pam Rabbit - “Get up”

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Ohhhh YES a glorious experimental Synth-Trap song only I could love and ofc I did. God what is there even to say; the provocative darkness of the verses combined with the swirling amorphousness of the chorus gives me LIFE. LUFF THIS SHIT <3333 Ftr, this was also the fave of Slovene Juror duo / synth angels / Boris faves ZALAGASPER, further proving their pathetic naysayers that they own all things music and the haters can suck a series of-

Barbora Mochowa - “White and Black Holes“

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Lol, yes even with a “Get up” existing, there was a song I liked even more. Barbora proved a very competent Lana del Gay last year, but I was a YUGE fan of this year’s... Kate Bush-Björk blend of ethereal awesome. It is so soothingly beautiful and the rare example of a song that I find completely free of flaws. Were the competition not such a hard place, I’d be pissed she didnt win (at least she won the jury vote MASSIVE KUDOS to every alum on that) but w/e this selection had opions and I’m rather robbed of a “Kemama” than I am of a BRILLIANT IRREPLICABLE AETHERBALLAD. ~Danse balance sûr les white and black holes~

Elis Mraz & Cis T - “Wanna be like”

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I *VERY* strongly felt that if the Czech Republic wanted to win ESC, they should have picked Elis and even now I STILL believe she could have won. That isn’t to say I gushed over “Wanna be like” because I find it kind of annoying lol. Yes, I LOVE an annoying female voice (:Tones&Icackle:) but Elis’s reaches a Camilla Cabello sort of place for me (good lord get Senorita OFF the fucking radio) and the Scat + White Guy Rapping middle-eight. 😬. However, the second I opened up the video clip for this paragraph and was immediately BLASTED by Elis murdering a ukelele and wearing a “schoolgirl” outfit straight from a Japanese tentacle porn movie and OH MY GOD THE AGGRESSIVE TWERKING made me reconsider that hey, this min-sized Meghan Traynor actually kinda highkey owns, yo! Yet, I’m not at all bothered we lost her in the Czech NF because we got UNO DOS QUATRO CINCO SEIS :fatmansplit: fill up the megameme slot instead, so...

Eurovision 2020 vs Eurovision 2021

BENNY RUINED HIS SONG AND NEVER WOULD HAVE QUALIFIED. jk I’m not a moron. Sure, “Kemama” wasn’t an easy sell because you know AFROBEAT in a contest where half of the people watching are fash (ie: all of Eastern Europe, who watch out of ~Nationalistic Sentiment~ 😬), but there are Kemama live renditions out there and he owns them SO hard lol. A few soundmixing issues really would not have stopped Benny from qualifying in that RIDICULOUSLY WEAKSAUCE SEMIFINAL are you fucking kidding me. He probably would’ve bombed in the Grand Final, but I mean it’s Czech and it’s not Ickolas so ofc it would have.

And Czech renewed him for 2021 regardless of the sceptics, woohoo! I think part of it was due the Czech not wanting to re-organize an ENTIRE NF from scratch without Jan Bors, but probably also because Benny owns live when he isn’t engaged in psychological trench warfare with actual human detritus <3 and also because the Czech fucking CARE about their artists and don’t drop them like a sack of rotten potatoes wtfshitprus.

Can’t wait for the moment when he qualifies and Efendi does not, etc, etc.

FREAKY! FRIDAY! FACTOR!

I’d say that the core around which the Ben Drama spun was pretty standard fare: niche fave beats out the concensus fave, meltdowns ensue, people convince themselves it was the WRONG decision because it wasn the result they wanted, try to disown the song and make a fool of themselves because the song slaps, sorry. Even the revamp drama felt more of less generic for me, because yawn fantards melting down over a revamp of a song they don’t even like what else is new.

However, what I do take away that the revamp was ENTIRELY Benny’s idea which he told no one about (cue to JAN BORS having a social media meltdown like he’s Caesar at the Ides of March 💔) added MORE afrobeat just to troll his haters even more <3 God, I’d say it was bad from a musical perspective but this level of in-your-face defiance is fucking iconic and hilarious, sorry. This entire this year is so batshit bonkers that the concept of a someone potentially shooting themselves in the foot and “torpedo’ing” their qualification chances (not rly, he would’ve Q’d anyway lol) JUST to take the moral high ground in a racially coded argument only HE took seriously may not even be the craziest concept in the year! (lol it definitely isn’t. Look at the pics I haven’t greyed out yet)

This and more yield Benny some well-earned Senheads! Yay!!

Score: 3 Senhits out of 5.

#Eurovision #Eurovision 2020 #Eurovision Song Contest #Czech Republic #Czechia #Bohemia #Ben Christovão #Benny Christo

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eurosong · 4 years

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My ESC ‘20 ranking

Good morning folks, on this rather melancholy “Eurovision day.” Whilst this year may be cancelled and its songs pretty callously binned by the EBU, 2020 was a diverse year that deserves taking a close look at too, so here goes my customary full ranking of the year. I express some candid opinions, but they are just my take on things, no shade intended if you disagree.

41. Estonia - What love is It’s always most difficult to pick a last place because, no matter how sleek Eurovision gets, there are still a few abject horrors that sneak into the contest. With a score that would have been dated 30 years back, and lyrics that manage the peculiar double act of being both pompous and anodyne, this is horrid enough before Uku’s dubious xenophobic comments and his prevailing over a field of much more compelling songs get taken into account.

40. Macedonia - You The Macedonians, having achieved their best result ever last year (I’m happy for them, but also, Kaliopi deserved that), decided that they soared too close to the sun with Proud and decided to crash land this year to build their energy to soar again. That’s the only reasonable explanation I have for this effort which deeply repels me, doubling down on Luca Hänni’s “cocky guy in a sleazy bar” æsthetics and adds to it even worse lyrics, castrato singing and the unintended levity of the interpreter being far more interested in the bartender. Also one of a maddening number of duplicate titles that were nowhere near as good as the originals.

39. Cyprus - Running What is this void in the space of a song? I’ve listened to it dozens of times to do ratings over the past months. I’m still left with an icy emptiness because it does nothing to me, says nothing to me. The only thing that I can say in its favour is that it’s not a replay of replay aka Fuego 3. That’s it. It’s like it’s designed to leave little impression and hope to cruise by on diaspora and friendly votes alone.

38. Austria - Alive Austria have been on an interesting Eurovision journey, going from winning with Conchita to serving up this chirpy homophobe doing his best impression of Timberlake. A monumental step back from the singular tenderness of Pænda.

37. France - Mon alliée (The best in me) La déception de l’année sans doute. France, one of Europe’s cultural powerhouses, really said “forget Destination Eurovision, which showcased our music scene’s diversity and was one of the fandom’s favourite newer NFs. Let’s abolish it all and bring in the guys who made Bigger than us, because we really want a piece of that Big 5 bottom place action! Let’s throw away our cultural caché and get something about as French as flatpack furniture!”

This is like going to a pricey restaurant in Paris, expecting haute cuisine and instead getting some microwave-reheated IKEA köttbullar. And can we talk about how Amir of J’ai cherché fame is partly to “thank” for this in one of the biggest heel turns of the year? It’s like he wanted to ensure that France TV beg him to return by safeguarding his excellent score from being equalled. I also have to say, Tom Leeb seems like a nice guy with a good voice. He did his best to salvage this with the acoustic version, which lifts it up a few places. But not so many given that that Westlife reject b-side ending with a key change remains.

36. Germany - Violent thing Speaking of major cultural players dumping their national finals for no good reason, guten Tag, Deutschland! Germany once had one of the best and certainly most diverse NFs going. Instead of dumping Barbara Schönenberger as hostess - every year she’s presented, Germany have had calamity, and the one year they did well, 2018, she wasn’t host - they decided to pin all their hopes on a bewildered looking gossoon from Slovenia with yet another Timberclone song and some rather dubious live vox. As his countrywoman Lea Sirk said, it’s a hvala ne from me.

35. Spain - Universo Yes, it’s another year of the Big 5 not living up to its automatic qualification rights (except you, Italy, thank you for being the exception to the rule.) So here we’ve got a bland effort from Spain to avoid being bottom 5, except that ain’t how ESC works - you need something to get people to waste their money on voting for your song. And for me, this surely is not it. This was a bit higher on my ranking before because there are more objectively objectionable songs out there. But the nonsensical, repetitive lyrics, the painful attempt at a high note on perdónameeee, and getting stuck on a bus where I had to put up said screeching being played 5+ times means #35 is about right for where it deserves.

34. Armenia - Chains on you Armenia, usually a reliable mainstay in the top half of my listings at least, instead served up one of the most bewilderingly impalatable NFs of the season where every song sounded imported from the ESC anni horribili of the 00s. This has grown on me a little bit - I like tin drums and I like her weird accent - but the lyrics are amongst the year’s most pitiful (“ya wanna take me to a party, because you’re naughty”) and it just feels cheep to me. 33. Bulgaria - Tears getting sober I don’t see the appeal in this bewildering merger of dirge and Disney, and this is coming from someone who likes melancholic music more times than not. I find this one straight up unpleasant to listen to. The lyrics are of someone passive-aggressively glorying in the pain they wallow in to return the hurt, in “look how much you’re making me hurt myself” style. The syrupy score replete with key change is a bizarre, ghoulish accompaniment. Only this high because I recognise some artistic merit in its production.

32. Azerbaijan - Cleopatra Are Azerbaijan now at the stage where they’ve decided to pastiche themselves? The country with the worst LGBT rights of all contesting ESC having the monumental neck to send a song about “gay or straight or in between”? The country who have almost religiously avoided sending anything with any actual Azeri national character or heritage sending a song written by a Canadian, an American and a Frisian about a Greek-Egyptian ruler with a Japanese mantra and Latin affectations, so sending us around the world to pretty much everywhere except Azerbaijan? What can I say in favour of it? It’s a little bit catchy. So are venereal diseases.

31. Poland - Empires How can a country who started their ESC journey with aplomb - and experimental gems like Sama and Chcę znać swój grzech - and who continue to serve in the junior contest, how can they be so almost studiedly bland in ESC these days? This is our 564th knockoff Bond tune, sung a little awkwardly and with lyrics written by a Year 8 who’s been given a creätive writing assignment where they have to use metaphors. “We’re gasoline and a match!” Wow. If it passed to the final, it would only because of loyal Poles abroad.

30. Greece - Superg!rl We leave the territory of complete dirges and enter that of songs I can sort of live with. This one’s a huge step back for the Hellenes though after the gorgeous Better love. Its odd chorus is memorable, but not for the best reasons. Its saving grace is its unintentionally humorous promotional video. A better use of those superpowers would have been to come up with a better song.

29. Moldova - Prison Remember the fun Moldova that used to bring songs like Hora din Moldova and Lautar, with some actual national flavour and flair? That’s long gone. Even the Moldova that brought terrible songs but fun stagings, like that of My lucky day, seems far lost into the fogs of time too. Another wholly unremarkable and mediocre production of the Scream Team that would be lucky to scrape into the finals. 28. Belgium - Release me Has Belgium learnt absolutely nothing in the years Blanche where the wheels of their ESC renaissance have fallen decidedly off? My feeling is no. I have to salute them to some degree for creating nice, very musical compositions, but just like in the past two years, they have forgotten to add a few key elements: some sense of progression or dynamism. This plods along repetitively on one track, one note, and that note is nice enough as background music, but my hunch is that track would have led them to another unsurprising “surprise” NQ.

27. Serbia - Hasta la vista It’s an earworm, but some earworms leave you wanting to get an aural exorcism. Somehow, some sort of collective insanity overcame Serbia and they decided to dump on their beautiful oeuvre of songs, go completely against their trend for qualitative, classical, brooding, orchestral music by instead picking a bunch of time travellers who had been a third rate girl band in Transnistria. How enough Serbians thought they’d win over Europe by going for a sound that was dated even when they made their début bemuses me. 26. UK - My last breath The UK are really soaring high in my rankings as... the last amongst the 26 songs that would make up my notional perfect final. Baby steps. I still think it’s pretty lame how the BBC tanked their own national final for this. It’s not so adventurous. It has so little to say that it’s half a minute shorter than the ESC standard and yet still consists of repetition. It has one of the most annoying chorus quirks with that beat in “my last... breath.” How did this get up this high again?

25. Albania - Fall from the sky It absolutely pains my heart to put Albania out of the top 20 after two thunderous years in which they captured my gold and bronze respectively. What makes it worse is that they could have had a perfect hat-trick, because the original, Albanian language version “Shaj” was my #1 song from December up until mid-March when they released this thin gruel of a revamp with all the things that gave Shaj some authenticity and flavour gone, and with beautiful, heart-rending lyrics replaced with cliché. Only this high because there are plenty of worse songs.

24. Czechia - Kemama I have a soft spot for poor Benny, the interpreter of this song. Ok, so it beat a field containing some vastly superior songs, but it’s nice to have a Czech song without weird lyrics about women for the first time in a while, and the way the kid was put through the ringer for his more Afrobeat-influenced revamp made me sad. For me, it gained a bit of flavour with that change. The lyrics are still poor but I like the colourful musical backdrop.

23. Israël - Feker libi 🇮🇱 Sometimes, you don’t think much of a song but the artist elevates it enormously. Such is the case with Feker libi, a bizarre pot pourri of styles with a very discordant tropical verse (which I like), mid-90s dance track chorus (which I don’t), middle eastern post-chorus and African-sounding outro (jury’s out on both.) Yet Eden Alene is so full of natural charm and exudes “I want to be your friend” that I can’t help but rewatch just because of how joyous she makes it.

22. San Marino - Freaky 🇸🇲 Speaking of atypical countries flying high in my ranking, all was set for San Marrano to take non-pride of place at the bottom of my ranks yet again, but somehow, I ended up quite enjoying their track this year. Yes, San Marino is still a weird zone where, when you descend to Rimini in Italy, you enter the new millennium, but returning up the tiny nation’s steep slopes, you head back to a time in the 70s when disko was king. This disco is fun though. In part thanks to Senhit, a sympathetic performer who deserved more in 2011, in part the lyrics - who doesn’t want to rip up the rules, write new ones and then destroy them too?

22. Switzerland - Répondez-moi It’s nice to have the Swiss singing in a national language for the first time in ages. It’s also nice that they didn’t fall back on their success with Hänni by going with a similar so-called bOp. I also really love some of the artist’s other tracks, like Babi. And I liked this a fair bit more upon first listen, but the combination of less than stellar lyrics - just a succession of somewhat emoïsh rhetorical questions; just because they’re in French, doesn’t make them deep - and a wailing falsetto have made my will to relisten to this often take a serious hit for me. A shame, as musically, it has some undoubted quality. 20. Denmark - Yes 🇩🇰 Denmark seems to be doubling down on 2019 to develop its new niche - catchy, sweet but ultimately a little overly gooey love songs. There’s always something a little bit imperfect about them though: last year it was Leonora’s serial killer-esque nervous gaze; this year, it’s the “I’m not going to even try to make pretend we’re an item” lack of energy from Tan. It’s a little bit too reheated “Little talks” but it’s decent enough.

19. Russia - Uno 🇷🇺 When this first was released, days after the deadline for submitting songs, I was pretty peeved at what seemed like a pisstake against the contest, a bizarre rehash of Aqua for the meme age. And yet.. maybe it’s the quarantine slowly driving me insane, maybe it’s the sheer infectiousness of this that just makes you want to dance, maybe it’s the epic energy of the backing singer (Rosa from Brooklyn 99’s twin) who looks like she wants to kill everyone else... but I’ve actually grown to like this enough to put it top 20. I’m not always entirely predictable!

18. Norway - Attention 🇳🇴 There’s a lot of things that tick my yes boxes with this song, like the beautiful orchestral music laid out by the famed Mørland or the simple but sincere performance. There are also things that take a Sharpie and scrawl in my no boxes too, like the somewhat whiny tone of the vocals or the adolescent and lyrics which, with their “oy’d change anyffink abaat moyself fur a boi” tone, don’t flatter the singer, and from Mørland, I expect better. There’s more good than bad here though, and it has been an earworm since the day it was selected.

17. Belarus - Da widna 🇧🇾 I don’t know what was in the water this year, but we got a bunch of great Slavic language songs, including from countries that don’t typically send songs except in English. I like the chilled out vibe and the curious lyrics. Their live version for Eurovision Home Concerts with just an acoustic guitar sounded a whole lot better, I must say.

16. Australia - Don’t break me 🇦🇺 I’m finally overcoming the horror of the bizarre clown mise-en-scène complete with ropey lyrics at Australia decides and judging this on its potential. Hands down Australia’s best entry at the contest for me. Musically, it’s strong, and lyrically, it’s compelling and very saudadic. I’m sad we won’t see what a glow-up their final staging could have provided. I really hope it wouldn’t have involved clowns, which seriously tanked the song in my ranking for months, no joke.

15. Portugal - Medo de sentir 🇵🇹 A Portuguese entry outside of my top ten? Given their form with me since 2015, this might seem like a harbinger of the apocalypse. I still like it quite a bit, but there are stronger songs this time. It’s heartfelt, the lyrics are powerful (about being afraid to feel again after being hurt) and the melody is pretty. The live was a bit cagey especially because of the not particularly well synchronised voices of Elisa and the pianist, who composed the song. Still a very nice song and it is great to see Portugal staying faithful to its language, but I can’t help but feel sad that songs more in line with its riskier, more trailblazing previous few years. Passe-partout or Gerbera amarela do sul would have been in my top 3 like last year.

14. Latvia - Still breathing 🇱🇻 If you told me in January that not only would this song not be disliked, it’d also end up in my top 15 of the year, I’m sure incredulous laughter would have been the most polite response you’d have probably gotten. And yet - the song I couldn’t stand in Supernova has won me over and I do want to see Samanta Tina return for 2021 since she evidently cares so deeply about ESC so is pretty much one of us. I’ve come to love the weirdness of the track - real meat and gravy given the number of anodyne tracks - the iconic pre-corona hygienic leitmotif of its staging. ST’s joie de vivre and command of the stage. It’d be a guilty pleasure except I don’t feel guilty for it.

13. Georgia - Take me as I am 🇬🇪 Georgia once again are dancing to the beats of their very anarchic drummer and I love them for that. This thinly veiled swipe at both the Big 5 coasting in mediocrity and at narrow-minded fans’ reäctions to Georgia’s extremely varied oeuvre just hits the spot for me. I love the musicality of it, the dark electro-rock vibes, Tornike’s voice and how it blends perfectly with his captivating backing singers. I always vote with my feet for something different in an era where people are aiming to qualify with safe and bland rather than taking risks.

12. Romania - Alcohol you 🇷🇴 Roxen provided one of the most iconic moments of the season by deliberately tanking the ordained bop amongst her national final songs. Her eventual song is one of the most emotional of the year, and also one of the most surprisingly literary: there are tonnes of nuances, allusions, wordplays and so forth in this text, most of which are a lot more graceful than the titular terrible pun. I humbly put it to folk who thinks that this romanticises alcohol that they are missing the point - it’s instead being used as a metaphor for toxic relations which, by the end of the song, Roxen has broken away from. I love her voice, I love the music. It fell briefly out of my affections because of the weird mini-revamp, but it’s risen again.

11. Ukraine - Solowej 🇺🇦 It’s fabulous to see Ukraine singing a song entirely in their language and I hope this trend continues across the Slavic nations like was notable this year. The timeless folksy elements mixing with modern beats makes a curious and entrancing blend, delivered with aplomb. It takes where Poland 2019 went wrong and puts it right. I could have done without the unnecessary revamp, but it’s still one of the year’s freshest cuts. Well done, Widbir!

10. Slovenia - Voda 🇸🇮 In an age where the likes of Albania is stripping away all the beautiful orchestral flourishes of its entry to make a pared and muted revamp, Slovenia went full throttle in the opposite - and in my mind, right - direction and made one of the very few good revamps of the season. Performing with the Budapest philharmonic orchestra, Ana Soklič, who, for my money, has one of the best female voices of the year, unleashed the cinematic, sweeping beauty of Voda. I think this would have surprised many people by doing quite well. On musical and vocal merit alone, and adding to that the subdued saudade of its lyrics, it deserved a lot more love.

09 Malta - All of my love 🇲🇹 In 2018, I would have sooner said that it was more probable for me to have become Grand-Duke of Luxembourg than it was for me to have loved a Maltese song, let alone two i n a r o w. I didn’t expect much of this at all, because I expected we’d get a wailing vocal exhibition, as Ian used to say, focused on exhibiting Destiny’s range rather than giving her a genuinely good song. But this is a genuinely good song. Once again, I love for the gospel edge it has, and Destiny’s vocals soar to impressive heights, without feeling unnatural or ostentatious. I should have known to expect good things with the regal Cesár Sampson on board.

08 Lithuania - On fire 🇱🇹 Prior to this year, few people had any hopes for Lithuania’s long-winded national final selection process. The idea of it being must-watch viewing when there were many other more compelling choices on offer was hilarious. In 2020, that changed. They changed the name to the hilarious but hopeful “Let’s try again”, had a number of fantastic songs, and became one of the most diverse and qualitative highlights of the NF season. The eventual winners, The Roop, deserved the accolade with this cool, super contemporary track with a brilliant dance routine and a genuinely important message about not giving up on yourself.

07. Sweden - Move 🇸🇪 At MF this year, the Swedes put a match to its protracted ‘cocky fuckboi with polished, soulless overproduced pop song’ era, hopefully for good, with an all-female top 4. I will always lament Dotter missing out narrowly, but I’ve still been brought plenty of joy by the radiant Mamas with their fabulous hand-choreography and genuine warmth, and this song of resilience through the tough times. I love gospel-tinged music and this really makes me smile.

06 Ireland - The story of my life 🇮🇪 Before this was announced, I heard Ireland’s track being compared to the oeuvre of pretty much every major 00s female pop star. I was quizzical, but upon hearing it, could see why. In a year with a lot of beige, this is just one big orange and yellow blast of colourful late 90s/early 00s nostalgia, hope, resilience. The kind of anthem I never knew I needed but came right on time. I can’t listen to its wry, conversational lyrics without wanting to dance along. And Lesley Roy herself is an icon. My favourite effort from Ireland since Playing by numbers, and I really hope she returns in 2021.

05 Finland - Looking back 🇫🇮 I’ll never forget a mural in the part of València where I used to live that said “we’re not different for the sake of being different”, and that could sum up my attitudes to Eurovision. Whilst it seemed almost everyone was behind Cicciolina in Finland, I had scant hope for my favourite, and was blown away when it actually did win. This melancholy meditation on the passing of time and people - “we never know what we have until it’s over and we’re looking back” - became emblematic of this year for me and added to what was already a really poignant and moving track. I love the musical style too and the smoothness of Aksel’s voice and how it contrasts with his evident awkward shyness. It has moved me so much that it had to end up top 5.

04 Croatia - Divlji vjetre 🇭🇷 I always will represent and bring love for the Balkans and their adhesion to their musical traditions. This was one of the most pleasant surprises of the NF season for me - I was expecting very little from Croatia, and instead, it greeted me with this beauty. You have the understated classic grace of the music, the exquisite melancholy and poeticism of the lyrics, and one of the finest male vocals of the season. My favourite Croatian track in almost 15 years.

03 Italy - Fai rumore 🇮🇹 Sanremo isn’t just a national final, it’s a cultural experience that digs into your heart over the course of a whole week. This was one of the most memorable I have followed yet - and what a truly deserving winner. It’s just another example of the seemingly endless supply of heartfelt tunes by classy, sincere performers that Italy has on tap, with one of the best lyrics of the contest and the extra level of poignancy from how the lyrical theme of isolation would come to represent us all.

02 Iceland - Think about things 🇮🇸 One of my nerviest and happiest moments of the entire NF season was seeing Daði Freyr and friends win Söngvakeppnin in Iceland. As much as I loved Svala’s Paper, I had also adored his song three years prior - the delightfully awkward and similarly irrepressably earwormy Is this love. And now he was back with a groovy, fun, heartwarming tune about fatherhood that has only continued to grow in my estimations. The bridge still full on gives me goosebumps. It’s the kind of song that just makes me marvel at being human and being on this earth.

01 Netherlands - Grow 🇳🇱 My top few songs are all very closely entwined so much so that they could be considered joint winners, but I’ve been pretty unequivocal ever since Shaj got torpedoed by its revampire: silver turned to gold and my previous 2nd place, Grow, became my new favourite. I love the heartfelt, sparsely poëtic, bravely confessional lyrics. I love the way that it goes from something minimalist and intimate with just organ and voice and slowly builds upon the hints of gospel to something truly anthemic. Such a meticulous arrangement where there’s not a single sound out of place. This song is pure art and, like Soldi, Mall, APD and all those preceding songs which had the magic of being my personal favourite, it moves me upon every listen.

#eurovision #eurovision song contest #esc 2020 #opinion #eurovision 2020 #esc

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hatari-translations · 4 years

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this might just be me but id never seen this visir (.) is / k / 473ca729-9a7d-4c15-ac03-716b2d3a50f3-1558284423651 before?

Huh, I’ve definitely seen this interview before (in particular, it’s the one I distinctly remembered where Matthías commented on conspiracy theories regarding their grand final performance, but could never find again), but I don’t seem to have ever translated it! Good catch. This is from the day after the Eurovision grand final.

Transcribing a whole five-minute interview this morning took ages, so I’m just going to translate this one, if you all don’t mind.

English translation

INTERVIEWER: Guys, what’s the reaction been today to the stunt yesterday?

MATTHÍAS: There’s been a lot of it, both encouraging and harsh.

KLEMENS: We welcome all criticism.

MATTHÍAS: With open arms. Both Palestinians and Israelis expressed their support with hugs yesterday, but also jeers. It’s very revealing how each given person…

KLEMENS: Reacts.

MATTHÍAS: Reacts. Of course we’re mostly just recovering today.

INTERVIEWER: Many people were startled, they perhaps thought you had already achieved your goals and gotten your message across. Had you decided to show the flag long ago?

KLEMENS: Uhhh, it was always in the cards. But if you’re talking about a “bomb”, we didn’t necessarily think this was the bomb. The performance and staging and the art was the bomb, and we stand for art.

MATTHÍAS: Yes, I agree with that. The art is always the bomb.

INTERVIEWER: It doesn’t seem like everyone in the act knew this would be happening. Was that a big part of it, keeping it secret?

KLEMENS: I think there was an understanding within the group regarding what we stood for and where we were going with this. It just hadn’t been nailed down exactly what the plan was, and Svikamylla hadn’t sent us our agenda, so it was a bit chaotic in the last seconds, with a lot happening.

MATTHÍAS: As soon as we do this, we step into uncertainty. Nobody could predict exactly what the reaction would be. There was a security guard and some shouting, and of course we didn’t know exactly what would happen afterwards and what the consequences would be, so understandably the reactions were varied and diverse.

KLEMENS: Everyone was in a bit of a shock after it happened.

MATTHÍAS: I’m pretty good at suppressing, but I was also pretty worked up, and all of us.

KLEMENS: We didn’t notice who won the contest.

MATTHÍAS: No. We found out when we were back at the hotel that the Dutch guy won. We’d just like to convey our congratulations to him.

KLEMENS: Yeah, he deserved it. He had a very beautiful song and has a really beautiful voice.

INTERVIEWER: Can I ask you about the performance a bit, because there were some conspiracy theories on Twitter - Icelanders are tweeting a lot especially when Eurovision is on, and many were suggesting Israeli sound technicians had clearly turned down the volume on Hatari after the middle, where they didn’t think they could hear you, Matthías. Do you know what they’re talking about?

MATTHÍAS: No, I don’t know anything about that. Um…

KLEMENS: No comment.

MATTHÍAS: No comment. Conspiracy theories can be…

KLEMENS: Fun.

MATTHÍAS: Fun. Whether they’re based in fact or not.

INTERVIEWER: Now the adventure out here is over, but what’s next for Hatari?

MATTHÍAS: Well, that’d be a tour around the country, “National Disgrace”, presented by Svikamylla ehf. You can get tickets on tix.is, and of course it’s always fun to show up to such events wearing labeled merchandise. It’s common in the pop industry to show up in shirts labeled with the band you’re seeing. You can do that by going to merch.hatari.is and securing yourself some Consumer Product, which is our newest line of merchandise.

KLEMENS: Yes, and we might have a guest singer with us. It’ll be very exciting to see how that goes.

INTERVIEWER: One final question. You’ve been here for, I think, a bit more than two weeks. You’ve visited Palestine, you’ve been interviewed by a whole lot of media organizations from all over the world. Did Hatari achieve their goals in Israel?

MATTHÍAS: As we’ve said, there’s not actually any one “bomb” that justifies everything. We’ve just tried to follow our hearts and hopefully get people to think about something other than inane prattle.

KLEMENS: Yeah, to be true to ourselves and do what we think is right.

MATTHÍAS: And people can have opinions on that, of course. Mostly we’re just grateful for all the support we’ve received and everyone who helped us on this journey. There are a lot of people we owe thanks to.

Notes

Yet another Icelandic ESC interview referencing a widely-shared opinion column titled “Hatari, when’s the bomb coming?”, which criticized them after the semifinal for not doing something more drastic to justify participating in the contest in Israel.

The interviewer says not everyone in the act knew this would be happening. This is referencing headlines on a few articles just after the final that speculated Ástrós and/or Sólbjört didn’t know about the flags, based on a video clip on (I think) Einar’s Instagram from after security confiscated the flags, where the voice of one of them could be heard, was audibly upset and said something in the direction of that she didn’t sign on for this. I believe they (Ástrós and Sólbjört) later submitted an article to the paper to clarify that they absolutely did know what the plan was, and she was just upset in that moment because of the Israeli security being threatening at them.

I like that Matthías and Klemens don’t actually try to speak for the girls on this; they say they believe everyone in the group understood what they were there for, but that the exact details of how it went down weren’t pre-planned (as we know from other interviews - they had multiple possible plans and just decided there with some wild gesturing that this was the right moment to pull out the flags), and everyone was upset - but they don’t try to say it’s all a misunderstanding or claim the girls are actually 100% happy with how it shook out, instead just leaving it to them to speak for themselves.

The guest singer Klemens references at the end is of course Bashar Murad; at this time we did not yet know about their collaboration and had not yet heard Klefi/Samed.

#hatari #interview #translation #politics #Anonymous

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monabela · 4 years

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this is here because I was listening to esc songs and Goodbye To Yesterday suddenly seemed like a great song to write a fic about. so here you go, a small, mostly aimless thing. the title... is from that other estonian song. no, not Play. it’s from Verona.

never said enough

pairings/characters: Belarus (Nadzeya)/Estonia (Eduard)

word count: 3268 summary: Nadzeya wakes up alone, and she doesn’t understand why. The only one with the answer to that question is the man who left her, and she’s determined to find it.

Something is off.

Nadzeya doesn’t open her eyes, trying to listen for what woke her. The room is quiet. Her whole house is quiet. She sighs, and outside, down on the narrow street, a car starts. It idles, just a few seconds, and then the sound echoes off the old buildings as the car leaves the street.

Without opening her eyes, Nadzeya flings her arm out across her bed, hitting the empty pillow next to her.

“Fucking coward,” she grits, letting the wave of anger she feels quickly overtake the welling of sadness. Anger is, in her experience, much easier to deal with. Her fingers clench in the empty pillow, arm quickly getting cold. How fucking early is it?

Finally, Nadzeya wrenches her eyes open to check the alarm clock on its shelf across the room, nestled between her collection of CDs. Six-fucking-fourteen, is he serious? Groaning, she turns over and tucks her arm back underneath the covers, pressing her face into the mattress, into the lingering, familiar smell of pine and fresh bread.

Although she dozes off and finds it’s half past six by the time she opens her eyes again, trying to go fully back to sleep seems like a futile exercise at this point, so she curses some more under her breath, just to make sure she stays angry instead of slipping even slightly toward despondent, and rolls out of bed. There is absolutely no reason to be up; it’s her day off work and there is nothing to be done around the house. Maybe, somewhere, she had planned on spending at least the morning… Not alone.

But she overestimated Eduard Mets, obviously.

There is no note anywhere in his ever-hurried handwriting that explains his abrupt departure from her bed and her house, no text or voice message left.

Nadzeya had expected more. Too much, evidently. Coward.

It’s a good thing she spent so much of her teens and early twenties being angry at just about everything—including herself, more often than not—because she finds it’s barely any effort to hold on to the ire now, slamming doors up and down her narrow house and stomping on the many stairs.

She knows he’s an evasive man, is the thing. Eduard has these things he refuses to talk about, and Nadzeya knows she’s stubborn, but he manages to talk around her every time she asks. It’s impressive, and it does—it did—intrigue her. That little bit of mystery.

Of course, it now turns out it’s just cowardice.

Without noticing, she has started dragging her feet. It’s still barely gone seven, but Nadzeya goes and puts on the heaviest boots she can find, digging them out from underneath some festival outfits from the past few years. They don’t match her T-shirt and jeans at all, but she needs to stomp some more.

Eduard liked these boots, one of the first times they met up. Said they made her look like some ancient warrior queen. Then, of course, they’d had sex in his awful little tent, and they haven’t really stopped since.

Kicking the wardrobe, Nadzeya focuses on her anger. She doesn’t understand what happened here, and she hates not understanding things.

Since she’s up now, she makes breakfast, deciding to go all out with it because she might as well, and also to spite Eduard if just in spirit. That man is religious about breakfast.

After managing to eat everything she makes, Nadzeya reads the news, which is one thing that always serves to make her feel worse. As expected, it works. Somewhat. It also serves to remind her that it’s more fun to be able to bitch about it to someone, even if just over text messages. She’ll be damned if she texts Eduard as if he didn’t run out on her at ass o’clock in the morning, though. He doesn’t deserve that.

She’s sure she didn’t deserve that.

There’s the sadness again, threatening to drown out the anger that is much preferable.

No one would accuse Nadzeya Alyakhnovich of being a melodramatic person, but that’s just because very few people actually know her well. When she was eleven, a girl in school laughed at her dress, and she still despises her with a vengeance, just because it’s a petty thing to do and that’s what makes it fun. She told Eduard this, once. He seemed impressed by her ability to hold a grudge at the time, because he isn’t the type—much too logical for that, and probably too much of a fucking coward—but he didn’t seem particularly surprised that she would. He has strange talents, and understanding her is one of them.

Remembering that makes this even more confusing, and it’s getting harder to stay angry. The sun is rising outside, slowly bringing color to the cold streets of the city, lifting the haze of night under which he slunk away, and Nadzeya just needs to understand.

Everything about Eduard is rational; he’s always thinking about everything, so what the hell was he thinking?

It’s almost eight now. Nadzeya has already had it with this day.

Getting out her phone, she opens her contacts. Scrolls to Eduard’s name. Although she opens their messages—she never realized, she thinks, how often they talk about the most mundane things, like the most recent conversation, which is about how hay fever is a bitch—she does not send anything new.

Instead, she yanks her bag from the table, throws her phone into it, and slams all the doors on the way out.

There is only room for one coward in this—this relationship, and it sure as hell will not be Nadzeya. She’d be dishonoring the name of Alyakhnovich if she were. So she’s going to find the man who is.

It’s still too cold of a spring morning to be outside without a coat on, let alone ride on a motorcycle, but Nadzeya just puts her helmet on and determinedly ignores the goosebumps crawling down her bare arms.

Eduard lives barely fifteen minutes away, just outside of the city’s main bustle, on the lower floors of terraced building that would be lovely if age hadn’t weathered it to a dull grey color. He’s constantly complaining about the lack of parking space, but Nadzeya just slides her bike between two cars and stomps her way to the front door of number 14A, where she rings the doorbell just once. She isn’t desperate, after all. Not sad. Just pissed off.

The door isn’t opened, and fine. If he wants to be like that, two can play that game.

Nadzeya rings the doorbell about ten times in quick succession, then slams on the door with a closed fist.

“Come out!” she shouts. “You coward!”

Still no movement in Eduard’s house, but somewhere else, a door opens, and then there’s a man’s voice from above her.

“Hey, what’s goin’ on down there?”

Nadzeya takes a step back to look at Eduard’s upstairs neighbor standing on his tiny balcony, the neighbor who must be the one Eduard says is always making noise at inconvenient hours but also keeps giving him baked goods, which apparently makes it okay. Nadzeya thinks that’s bribery, but then if anything could bribe Eduard, it would be baked goods.

“Oh, hey!” the neighbor is saying. “You’re Eduard’s girl, right?”

And, really, Nadzeya resents being called a girl—she’s well in her thirties—let alone someone’s girl, but she just shrugs now. The man grins.

“Sounds like he’s in trouble, huh? Can’t imagine Mets doin’ anything to deserve all that racket, so it must be pretty bad.”

“Where the fuck is he?” Nadzeya narrows her eyes up at the man, ignoring his obvious attempt to get some gossip out of her. He just keeps grinning, unperturbed, light hair flopping all over the place. He looks like someone who makes a lot of noise, for sure.

“Went off to work.” A vague gesture in the direction of the city center.

“It’s Saturday.”

“Yeah, that’s what I said when I saw him leave!” The man shrugs. “He’s a workaholic, that guy. Or he’s avoidin’ ya. Wouldn’t blame him, no offense.”

Nadzeya quirks her eyebrows minutely, decides to take it as a compliment, turns, and walks back to her motorcycle.

“Wish him good luck from me!” the neighbor yells after her when she takes off. She will not.

It’s remarkable how much she knows about Eduard. Except it’s not, really, Nadzeya realizes. She knows she has no real skill with people, never has and never will, but it became easy to talk to Eduard. At first, maybe, they talked when they weren’t busy having sex, but if she’s honest with herself, it didn’t take long before it was the other way around.

Case in point; she knows where he works. They’ve had lunch together a few times, somewhere near the university when Eduard was between lectures and Nadzeya between shifts at the museum—she would be lying if she said she doesn’t enjoy the looks she gets when she manages to get away on the days she does demonstrations and is in full period costume. With fake bloodstains.

There are no lectures on Saturdays, though, not in Eduard’s department, and if he were doing research, she’d know.

She’d know.

She parks her motorcycle haphazardly between some bicycles, very nearly knocking one over. It’s hard to resist the urge to kick it, but she’d probably damage it with these boots and the fucking bike didn’t do anything wrong.

Even early on a Saturday morning, the hall of the university is fairly busy with students. Nadzeya weaves her way through them to the information desk, slamming her palm down on it and startling the woman sitting there.

“Good mor—” she starts.

“I’m looking for Eduard Mets,” Nadzeya says. “Where is he?”

For a long moment, the woman just blinks up at her owlishly. Nadzeya bites the inside of her cheek.

“He works here.”

“Yes, of course. He should be up in…” She trails off as she gestures upwards. “Actually, there he is.”

Turning, Nadzeya follows her gaze up to the mezzanine level over the canteen area of the hall. Eduard has his back turned to the desk and is talking to a young man who must be one of his students. He’s tucked his hands underneath his own upper arms in a familiar gesture and is wearing the same turquoise sweater he was yesterday, despite obviously having been at home.

“Thanks,” Nadzeya tells the woman behind the desk, and goes to find some stairs, hoping Eduard hasn’t run off by the time she gets up there.

He has not. When she throws the door of the stairwell open and starts towards him, he looks up at the heavy footfalls of her boots, and freezes, eyes wide. The student looks between them curiously. He appears quite young to be at university.

“Nadzeya,” Eduard starts as she nears, and he gestures at the boy. “I’m—”

“Thanks, Mr Mets, bye!” the student says, and scuttles off to the other end of the mezzanine level, barely pretending not to pay attention to them anymore. He might even be pulling out his phone to report to his friends. Eduard looks after him for a moment, raising his hands forlornly.

“Pretty smart kid,” Nadzeya comments. Eduard turns back to her, expression caught between apprehensive and plain sheepish. It’s not fear, and she doesn’t know if she’s glad about that or not. It would have been easier if he was afraid, maybe. His sea-green eyes are bright as ever, even if the way they are squinted slightly behind his glasses indicates that he hasn’t had enough sleep. It was one o’clock by the time they’d gone to bed.

“What are you doing here, Nadzeya?”

“I could ask you the same thing,” she snaps.

“I work here—”

“Not on fucking Saturdays, Eduard. I’m not an idiot.” She takes a step closer, tilting her head back to look up at him. He swallows visibly, eyes flitting everywhere but her face. Her next words are a hiss. “What the fuck happened?”

“I just thought…” He adjusts his glasses. “Can we do this somewhere more private, maybe?”

“Absolutely not.” She jabs a finger against his chest. Her nail polish is chipped, and she has not put on makeup, which is very rare, but she’s too upset to give a damn. “All I need is an explanation. You’re a teacher, it can’t be that hard.”

“Look, it’s… I…” He chews on his lip nervously. When he reaches for his glasses, his long fingers brush against her cold arm. He pitches his voice low. “I didn’t think I should stay.”

Nadzeya frowns up at him, jerking her chin to demand more explanation.

“I didn’t think you’d want me to.”

She blinks, trying to process that.

“Why not?”

“We didn’t—” He leans closer to her after glancing around nervously. “We didn’t have sex. Last night.”

“And?” They don’t always have sex when they meet, now, no matter the time of day. In fact, more often than not, they just have lunch, or go to a museum, or that concert a few weeks back. For all intents and purposes, they have been dating, despite never having named it as such.

“Nadzeya, I’ve never stayed the night.”

“Yes, you have.”

“No.” He takes a deep breath. “I’ve stayed late, but never… Like that. I’ve always left, you know, afterwards.”

She wonders at how that brain of his made this leap of logic, because she’s a smart woman and she has no idea what the hell he means right now. Afterwards? What about the nights they’ve just spent watching ever stranger documentaries or just drinking beer and talking, when he only left because he said he had work in the morning?

“So because we didn’t fuck—” she narrows her eyes when he winces and looks around again— “you decide it’s okay to leave without any kind of message? How the fuck does that sound logical?”

“I should have written something, but I wanted to spare myself the awkwardness, Nadzeya!” he hisses. “I thought you wouldn’t want me to stay!”

“You thought I—” She tries to take a deep breath, and find to her surprise and horror that it’s difficult, breath shuddering. “You can’t think for me, Eduard Mets.”

“I thought…”

“You’re always thinking! I know!” There are probably people watching, and this might be getting live-tweeted. She doesn’t care. “But you don’t think for me. You don’t get to decide what I want.”

“I know.” He touches her arm. His fingers are warm.

“You don't, obviously! If you knew what I wanted, we wouldn’t fucking be here, we’d be having breakfast in my kitchen! Because you’d know I don’t give a fuck whether we have sex, Eduard.”

The anger is difficult to hold on to, and the sadness that it has been keeping at bay is surging up. She finds herself grasping Eduard’s sweater, gritting her teeth against the empty feeling in her chest, the unwelcome taste of tears at the back of her throat. It’s easier to be angry, because at least if she’s just angry, she doesn’t have to face up to the fact that this thing—that Eduard—means more to her than she had anticipated. More than it seems to mean to Eduard.

“I don’t know how you can still think I just care about getting laid.” It’s said through gritted teeth, and Eduard bites his lip in return, slowly reaching for her face, swiping a thumb across her cheekbone. Nadzeya looks up at him, meeting the familiar sea-green eyes.

“I’m sorry,” he says. She swallows, averting her gaze. Eduard’s chest rises and falls steadily under her fingers, and she watches it for a moment. He waits, silent. He knows she talks when she wants to, that she sometimes needs to put the words in order first. It’s another one of those things that make this situation so baffling.

“I don’t think it’s been that kind of casual for a long time, at least for me,” she says at the hollow of his throat. “Maybe I wanted it to be.”

“Nadzeya—”

She looks up now, not knowing what she’ll say until she says it, and then it seems strange she didn’t realize.

“I’m in love with you,” she tells him, and the series of expressions that flits across his face is unreadable. “So don’t try to decide for me what I—”

He kisses her, pushing both hands into her hair in that way he does. There may be a gasp somewhere on the mezzanine level.

It’s a hard kiss, one that speaks of emotion, and Nadzeya doesn’t know what to do. Eduard’s heart is thundering under her palm as she spreads her hand against his chest.

“I’m so sorry,” he breathes when he pulls away, a curious light in his eyes. “Nadzeya, I’m a coward. I’m such… I’m sorry.”

“Yeah, you are,” she whispers, still out of her depth. This entire situation is… Not one she’d predict herself getting into, but maybe she herself underestimates her penchant for melodrama as well.

“Let’s try again.” Eduard presses his lips together and searches her gaze. “I feel the same, Nadzeya. I feel the same. I was just scared, and I’m sorry.”

All the air leaves her lungs in a great rush, and Nadzeya closes her eyes for a long moment, willing the tears back definitively. This whole thing is melodramatic enough as is. She wants to call Eduard an idiot, and maybe herself as well, a bit, because she recognizes somewhere that he isn’t the only one at fault here, but Eduard is the one who walked out, so she feels justified in not bringing that up right now. They’ll get around to that.

“Okay,” she says instead, curling her fingers against his lean chest. “Okay. Let’s try again.”

He smiles, a little tentatively, and she shakes her head, fond despite herself. She feels… Light. It’s a curious feeling, a pretty rare one, but she likes it. Still, she attempts to look stern when she lifts her gaze back to Eduard’s.

“Don’t ever—” she pokes his chest— “try to think for me again, Eduard Mets. You have no right.”

He catches her wrist.

“I won’t.” There’s an earnest expression on his face that would honestly disgust Nadzeya in any other situation, but she’ll take it this time.

“Good.” She tugs her own arm back until he leans forward and kisses her again. It’s soft, this time, no intent beyond it. Eduard tastes like peppermint.

When someone nearby clears their throat, he pulls back, making a face. Color is quickly rising in his pale cheeks, and Nadzeya grins.

“You’re gonna be the talk of the school, Mr Mets.”

“Oh, god. Can we leave? I really have nothing to do here anyway, and I think I owe you breakfast.”

“Fine.” She raises an eyebrow. “I’ve done breakfast, though. You owe me lunch.”

“It’s nine!”

“We’ll make do.”

As they leave, Eduard gets his coat from a locker and drapes it over her shoulders, pine and fresh bread surrounding her. She pulls it around herself, willing to revel in it for now. They have things to work out, but they’ll work them out later.

At the doors, she hears the young student from before shout, “Have a nice day, Mr Mets!”

Eduard groans, and Nadzeya can’t help but grin, turning to wave up at the boy.

“Don’t encourage him,” Eduard says.

She smiles and tugs him outside. It’s a nice morning.

#Hetalia #estbela #aph belarus #aph estonia #u: human #fin #w: 5000 #does anyone remember when i wrote that parody of verona #where instead of lost in verona it was lost in ikea #because I can't find it anywhere and sometimes i think i dreamed it

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basedonatruestory-official · 4 years

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CHAPTER THREE: SMELLS LIKE TEEN SPIRIT

It's pouring. It's six in the morning. Whose idea was it to leave this early? And on a Monday morning. Oh right, Mr Dwight. That man is restless.

Teachers and students are gathering to take a giant bus and get to a fancy resort in the city's countryside. The meet-up point is actually right behind Maggie’s house, although I highly doubt anyone except me knows it.

"I'm going to call your last names to check that everyone is here,” Mrs Potts shouts to make sure everybody can hear her. I immediately raise my hand when she calls my name and my classmates must think I'm a nerd, but I'm actually always nervous about being in the spotlight. Does it ever happen to other people? To mentally repeat what they’re going to say or do over and over before actually doing it? I'd be at the supermarket and rehearse what I'm going to say to the cashier while I'm waiting in the queue until it's finally my turn and I stutter and blush all the same.

"What's up, Sallow?"

I jump slightly and turn around to face Maggie, who has apparently popped out of nowhere.

"Hey, ready for the trip?"

"If the weather is any indication, it's going to be a disaster."

Boy, was she right.

Mrs Potts goes over our names once again when we're seated and then the bus driver starts the engine.

"So, you mean to tell me that you've never listened to a Nirvana song?" Maggie enquires shocked.

"I mean, I'm sure I'd like their songs if I ever listened to them!"

"You bet your ass and you are listening to all of them. Right now!" she exclaims mischievously taking her iPod out of her pocket. In between "Polly wants a cracker" and another song, a hand makes its way to Maggie's shoulder from the seats behind us, and taps it lightly. As we both turn around, we are faced with the curly-haired boy who was looking at me last week during PE.

"Hey, I'm Jacob", he states smiling at us.

"Maggie."

"Robin."

"Great! Robin, can I ask you something?"

Remember the blush thing? Yeah, it happens every time someone speaks to me. Of course, it happens now, too.

"Sure."

"Would you mind switching seats with me? Midge here fell asleep", he points at the seat beside him and we all briefly look at the resting form. I stare at him and suddenly feel stupid for thinking he was interested in me, but also somewhat relieved. I suppose that's normal for someone who has never received this kind of attention.

"Of course, no problem."

I completely forget that Maggie might not want a guy she doesn't know to sit next to her, but it's too late now. I turn towards her hoping she might say something.

"Yeah, no problem", she doesn't look me in the eyes and I'm afraid I’ve screwed up.

I continue listening to music on my mp3 player for the next hour or so until Midge wakes up and I know it's not going to be quiet anymore. I've also been trying not to eavesdrop on Maggie and Jacob's conversation, a goal that has become particularly difficult since it looks like Midge is about to have an aneurism if that boy doesn't come back to his seat.

"So, what was that all about?" I ask Maggie once I get back next to her, the journey almost over.

“Ah, you know, he was just being friendly I guess”, she answers shrugging her shoulders and I decide not to insist.

•••

The resort is surrounded by greenery, there are two tennis courts and a horse stable, which we will visit according to what the professors have told us. There’s also a resident goat whose name is Vincent Van Goat; I don’t know whether I should admire the person who came up with that name or despise them for such a bad pun.

We’ve made our way to the reception where Mrs Potts is ready to assign us to our rooms, while Mr Dwight is playing around with Vincent Van Goat. Boys and girls are to sleep in different rooms, this was made very clear since the beginning of the trip, everything else is left completely up to us. Midge immediately asks for the room with four single beds, so that she can stay with her friend Serena and two other girls. After a couple of minutes, there’s only two rooms left and four people remaining; one of the rooms has a king-size bed and the other has two single beds.

“Well, you gals won’t mind sharing a bed, will you?”

The question throws me off and I remain silent. Was this girl implying something? And what’s her name anyway? I have never spoken to her, how would she know if we do, in fact, mind?

“No, we don’t mind”, I hear Maggie’s answer as she steps up beside me.

In just a few minutes we are settled in our room, there’s no need to use the wardrobe and the drawers since we’ll only be staying for one night.

“You don’t mind, right?”

Maggie is looking through her clothes, similarly to when students look in their backpacks when the teacher is about to quiz them.

“Of course I don’t!"

I realise I haven't spoken since the conversation about the rooms and she must have been wondering if I was upset. She briefly smiles at me and resumes what she was doing. I keep thinking about switching seats with Jacob on the bus and potentially ruining my brand new friendship with Maggie, so I decide to get it off my chest.

“I’m sorry if you were uncomfortable with Jacob. Earlier. I shouldn’t have agreed without asking you first.”

I adopt the same technique Maggie was using, I start needlessly moving things in and out of my trolley, waiting for an answer. The room has grown still and, just when I think I’m going to explode, a voice reassures me.

“Look, it’s not a big deal. I simply would have preferred to spend my time with you.”

“…so we’re good?”

“Of course we’re good! We’re sharing a bed, remember? And Midge can have the biggest room for herself and her besties.”

We both laugh at Maggie’s jab, but I suddenly remember that I’ve seen Midge’s friend before. Her name is Serena Scott and she went to middle school with me!

“What’s wrong? Why are you so serious all of a sudden?”

“Sorry, I just remembered something. Serena went to middle school with me”, I explain cautiously. I’m not ready to talk about middle school, not even with Maggie, and I hope she doesn’t pry.

“Okay, so what?”

“So I don’t have the best memories of middle school…”

“Who does?”

I look up at her and I think she understands, without knowing what happened. She gets me.

“I’m sure she doesn’t remember you and, if she does, she won’t bring anything up.”

She looks me straight in the eye, waiting for some kind of response on my end. I eventually nod, feeling more confident, and she smiles seemingly satisfied.

•••

I didn’t think I would ever say this, but watching the sunset with my classmates, with Maggie, over a tennis court in the middle of nowhere makes me feel like I finally belong somewhere. There’s something about the quietness that surrounds us and the pretty colours of the sky; they always stir something up in me, it almost feels like nostalgia. Nostalgia for something I've never had and never known. We’ve played tennis and ridden horses and practised archery and just immersed ourselves in nature for the whole afternoon. It might be the first enjoyable school trip I’ve been to.

We’re now back in our rooms and we have to get ready for dinner. Mr Dwight said that he has a surprise for us afterwards, knowing that man I guess I should be scared.

“Hey, how was lunch at your aunt’s yesterday?!” Maggie shouts from the bathroom.

I roll my eyes just thinking about it. Just as I am about to speak, I get interrupted by a knock on the door.

"Girls, are you ready?"

“Yes, Mrs Potts. We're coming," I reply without opening the door and turning around to call for my friend.

Maggie sprints out of the bathroom wearing only a towel and rushes to get her clothes. I'm not used to being this intimate with someone and I realise I'm continuously diverting my gaze from her. I don't think she notices, and if she does she doesn't say anything.

We enjoy our meal sitting in front of each other and discussing Nirvana songs, my favourite being "Smells like teen spirit", to which Maggie replies that it's too popular and that I should listen to more of their songs. The girls sitting next to us hear me saying the song title and immediately start gushing over how good it is. Maggie simply looks at me and raises her eyebrows, as if her point has just been proven. I hardly contain my laughter while Mr Dwight tries to draw our attention.

"Who wants to know what the surprise is?"

A disco. That's the surprise. There's an empty room with sofas on the second floor of the resort's warehouse and he asked the staff to set up a music system and colourful flashing lights. We're standing outside waiting for everything to be ready.

"Ugh, this is so stupid. Can't we just go to bed?"

"I mean, I'm not excited, but he was actually kind of nice to do this for us," I address Maggie's complaint and she just grunts as a reply.

We make our way upstairs and I have to admit it looks cool. I'm starting to get nervous though, cause I've never gone dancing.

"Hey, you're Robin right?"

I turn around and come face to face with Serena. I freeze and thank goodness Maggie is my friend, cause she saves my butt.

"Hey, I'm Maggie. You are?"

"Serena, nice to meet you," she shakes Maggie's hand and then turns back to me, "We met before, right?"

"Yep, yes. Middle school."

"Yes! What a coincidence that we met again in high school," she smiles brightly and I try to reciprocate, but I'm probably grimacing awkwardly.

"Come on, let's go dance together!"

"Oh I can't- I mean, I don't know how to-"

"Nonsense! You just shift your feet left and right, try to keep up with the rhythm of the song!”

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Maggie, Serena and I have been dancing and jumping for around half an hour when we step aside to chat near a huge window. Maggie is mostly silent while Serena and I talk about middle school and exchange phone numbers. I'm glad and excited to get to know new people, and I also feel relieved Serena doesn't seem to know anything about my past.

"Hey everyone! How's it going?"

Midge has joined us and the conversation rapidly dies down. Maggie is quick to escape, taking advantage of Mrs Potts's proposal to escort anyone who feels tired back to their room. I'm standing awkwardly between Serena and Midge, we're gazing out of the window and somewhat moving around.

It all happens fast. We see Maggie and Mrs Potts reach the bottom of the stairs and cross the courtyard until Jacob comes running after them. Mrs Potts leaves them alone and heads inside the resort, Midge is boiling with anger and I'm afraid she might burst. I'm slightly nervous too, but I can't understand why. Jacob reaches for Maggie's hand and she immediately pulls away, turns around and pushes through the main entrance. Midge and I rush towards the staircase, me chasing Maggie and her striving to win over Jacob now that he's been rejected. I don't stop when we get to the courtyard, Vincent Van Goat attempts to charge me but gives up when I slalom between the other two.

When I get to our room, Maggie has already put on her pyjamas and is ready to go to sleep.

"What happened to you?"

I realise I've been standing in the doorway, panting, due to my increasingly faster running.

"Well, I saw you. With Jacob," I reply, closing the door and getting closer to the bed.

"Great," she grits through her teeth. I sit on my side of the bed while she gets under the covers and crosses her arms. A smile threatens to spread on my face at her grumpy demeanour.

"He asked me out, ok?"

"Ok. And you said no?"

"Of course I said no! Boys are dumb."

"No, hey, I totally get it! Boys are very dumb."

"I mean, I know he's cute. Half the girls in our class want to date him."

"Right. Yes, he is cute."

My hands are sweating, this kind of conversation makes me uncomfortable. Maggie raises her eyes to meet mine, we hold each other's gaze for a few seconds and then we're both startled by a text notification on my phone.

"Um, it's Serena. She says everyone is going back to their rooms because of... Well, they're going back to their rooms and they want to have a slumber party in Midge's room. Wait, isn't it forbidden to go to other people's rooms?"

"Whatever, I'm not going anyway."

"It could be fun."

"You go, don't worry about me," she states curling on her side and facing the other side of the room.

I bounce my phone on my knee and resolve to get out of my clothes and into my pyjamas.

"Tell you what, I'll go over to Midge's room, see what the fuss is all about and report back to you. If it sounds fun you're going back with me. Deal?"

"You're doubling the chances of getting caught by Mrs Potts. You know her room is basically in front of ours, right?"

"I know."

After a few moments of silence, I hear a bashful "deal" and smile.

My journey to Midge's room, to the other end of the hallway, is nothing short of a spy mission. Actually, the first trip goes smoothly since no one is around. After establishing that the slumber party is, indeed, very fun, I inform our classmates that I'm going to get Maggie and bring her to the room. I'm making my way back to our room and feel the tension rising, it's making me sweat a bit. Nonetheless, I reach my destination and persuade my friend to come with me.

"Come on, you can't let one boy ruin your high school experiences!"

This seems to be convincing enough and we quietly open the door once again. We stay close to the walls and communicate with hand gestures. We’ve almost reached Midge’s door when we hear footsteps coming our way. I signal for Maggie to go first and she manages to get in, but I run into Mr Dwight.

“Professor-“

“Ah!”

He interrupts me and places his index finger on his lips. I stare at him with my mouth slightly open and continue watching him as he walks to his room without breaking eye contact. As soon as I get to the party, the girls ask me what has happened and we all laugh about Mr Dwight’s behaviour. Maggie and I get to meet some girls who are generally very quiet in class: Vanessa, Charlotte and Silke. We spend a few hours laughing about our other classmates and our teachers, then we ultimately decide it’s time to go to bed. The alarm is set for 7 and we’ll have to make the journey back to town.

Maggie and I exit the room first, we slowly and safely make our way back, but we hear Mrs Potts’s door open just as we’re about to get in. We look at each other and know we’ll get caught, we close our eyes and prepare for the scolding we deserve, but it never arrives. Instead, we hear Mr Dwight’s talking. Well, slurring more than talking. We realise he’s distracting Mrs Potts to let us go back to our room so we waste no more time and silently thank him. We burst out laughing and fall on the bed, trying to be as quiet as possible.

•••

The next morning, waking up is hell and we have dark circles under our eyes. Mrs Potts is surely starting to suspect something as we spend the whole ride sleeping. Before dozing off, I think back to last night and consider I might have misjudged Midge. Maybe she’s not as bad as she seems. She’s also Serena’s new best friend, apparently, so there must be something good in her.

Read on Wattpad: https://www.wattpad.com/837733367-based-on-a-true-story-chapter-three-smells-like

Read Chapter Four: We’ll Make You Scream.

#based on a true story #based on a true story chapter three #chapter three: smells like teen spirit #smells like teen spirit #robin sallow #maggie ivory #serena scott #midge nourse #mr dwight #LGBTQ story #LGBTQ storyline #LGBTQ character #LGBTQ characters

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sole-cuore-amore-e-droga · 5 years

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Tel Aviv 2019: Straight outta Hungary to Eurovision with yet another father song apparently

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Hungary, I love you, but you're bringing me down...

Never in my life have I wanted to fight a NF as much as A Dal 2019. The lineup was considerably less engaging with me than the previous year's one (but in the end it turned out to be even MORE engaging than the previous year's one), the design update (to which I got used to like 10 minutes later anyway) happened, the jury exterminated a handful of favourites, and a common Eurofan's worst fear apart from not having at least one glitzy-schlager-fiesta-wrapped entry a year occured yet again - the under/over-staging of songs with potential. What could've been a smooth sailing sweet ballad sung by a man with all his heart turned out to be a confused fisherman's piano boy tune with little to no emotional connection with the televiewer; a killer electropop soundscape piece sprinkled with intensity, fragility and neon-like colors was supposedly performed by a lost-on-stage housewive who probably has 2 kids and 2 cats at home; and that one folksy melody set to campfire suddenly lost all its fire with a snow backdrop behind. Truly a wrong time to become a full-on Hungary stan.

And yet, out of all this hot savaging and rampaging mess, entangled with fan-fave losses and one eliminee too late thanks to a common ESC song's worst fear (plagiarism accusations), emerged one gloriously victorious soul in the shape of a brave man of gypsy 'origo' who once has been elected to Eurovision to make his country proud with his killer ethnic track 2 years ago, and he nailed that right to the T, with the help of an onstage dancer and violinist (both female) to create some space for the song to breathe and exhale the passion of what he sang out of his heart by then - Joci Pápai. Yes, him again! Who did you expect, András Kállay-fucking-Saunders??

Anyways, his song this year is titled “Az én apám” (My father), written by him and partially co-written by a man hiding himself behind the name Caramel (and I prefer caramel candy more than the actual raw caramel tbh), who is probably finally lucky enough to see a composition of his go to Eurovision after he himself couldn’t quite make it as himself right back on the very first A Dal. This year he also wrote a cute little harmless ballad for a 16 year old girl but we’ll discuss her later (maybe), because it’s Joci’s time. Again.

As the title already indicates, it’s another song about a father, and unlike for AWS’s lead singer, Joci’s father is... alive and well, surprisingly, considering Joci is 37 and, at the time of his fatherly loss, Örs Siklósi from AWS was approximately 24-25. That definitely does not mean the parents’ loss can’t come in at any time of your year - A Dal 2019 had a contestant whose mother was murdered when he was NINE. 0_0 Not to mention that some mothers die during childbirth, too. Or even maybe some fathers die before children were born because all they need to be in part of babymaking is to give her satisfaction at the right time and boom, 9 months (or even earlier/later) of wait. But I digress. This is much different song from “Origo” as “Origo” had this ethnic upbeat rhythm to it, with violins included, and was mostly a captivating song with a little bit of rapping because Joci couldn’t fit so many words in all of the other verses he could have thought of for this song without having to extend the song for A Dal submission, so he had to do the rap, sorry “Origo” rap bit’s haters. “Az én apám”, meanwhile, has him project his feelings against a musical backdrop of a little bit more softer, acoustic, chill tune with a little poppier arrangement (and add some violins during his live performance on two of the A Dal shows, that are now a permanent part of the ESC version of the song!). And instead of the Romani onomatopoeia we’re getting “na na na, ya ya yah” in the chorus, which is as nice, but I’d rather “jalomaloma” out some bitches than have this.

For this one, he’s all alone, on his own, except for the other songwriter’s aid (dare I say that this personal song’s lyrics weren’t even written by Joci himself??? Not even a microscope??? Caramel you mastermind you). But mostly on stage, he’s alone. And shoeless. And with a starry-ish backdrop. Simple enough staging for a simple enough song, right? As it’s proven that simplicity can work in the past Eurovisions (see Sobral), and maybe, just maybe, Hungary does stand a chance for once again for being just simple, like Boggie was (but mostly she was more inoffensive and singing about a topic that’s still beaten to death every now and then, although this topic has fizzled out lately, which paved the way to all the love songs dominating NFs now, as well as the Latino craze). Though I doubted it was gonna remain so “simple” after it was revealed the Hungarian team is looking for everyone’s fathers’ pictures to be submitted to them. Yes, it was supposed to be one of THOSE kind of backdrops. I don’t even know what kind of use did Michael Schulte have of the fatherpics people sent HIM! Most of the backdrop focused of his lyric video aesthetic on the choruses, and I remember more of THAT, not the photos... so I doubted it was gonna work out on this one either. But in the end Joci wasn't satisfied with how all of those pics looked, so he will go for only showcasing his very own papi now.

Oh shit I forgot to talk what I feel about the song myself... well, safe to say that I didn’t warm up to it when I first heard the snippet ahead of every other A Dal snippet, but as in full, it just so happened to be nice enough, although I preferred “Origo” because reasons - not to mention that looking back at the A Dal 2017 state that I’ve seen from, I’d probably have had Joci as a legit fave to win it! And I already found Tótova to be too strange at first, unsure if it’s worth it to give them a second shot (post-2nd-listening-note: I did and it wasn’t that... bad?). And so, with low enough expectations, I didn’t even look into his chances all that further, especially with him being sick on the heat 3 day and only managing to barely tie-win in his heat just so he could dominate further rounds. But man did it turn out to be a beast later on.

So let’s, for now, say that I like it, but it’s just one of those artist return expectations that let you down because you really wanted to maybe see them again, but there would never be another song like the first one. Time will probably make me forget it all happened though and I’ll be able to enjoy it as much as “Origo”, as the “na na na” chorus part is really lovely enough. The song though, it is bafflingly too much reliant on too long verses in order to make the song just only have 2 of them and 2 choruses, and for the person that is biased for ‘2 verses - 3 choruses - bridge somewhere in between’ kind of songwriting that I am, it’s lowkey a glaring problem (as I'm finishing this weeks later than initially planned I actually got used to this structure and it even slightly compliments the song, but only slightly), as “Origo” has not only an engaging song but an engaging structure - nothing seems throwable out, nothing seems needed to additionally to be added. This one, however, is just there with its structure, and although hearts and minds are swayed by this, I don’t think I’ll get used to it this as a whole easy, unlike, like I said, time makes me forget the NF messfest and focus my love and support towards those that ARE going, not those that COULD’VE BEEN going. For now, I am not sure if I finished my review rant this properly, but for now, I’ll just wish Joci the best of luck, eventhough he’ll 1) never read this and 2) never understand this :( But still ^_^ Don’t let your nation down, big man and a father of two!

Approval factor: Despite reasons I’ll detail a little later, I’ll approve this entry, as I can’t be mad enough at Joci, for the humble man that he exists as, and the message he’s spreading, and the man he teamed up with. I approve of him but not of the background things.

Follow-up factor: From substance things, let’s just say it’s a bit of a yes and a bit of a no. No because ‘omfg it’s too soon for him wtf!!’ and I agree but if that’s what the juries initially wanted after seeing him in the lineup, and this return of his is now a bit more unnoticed and anonymous... but yes because it’s not a bad choice after AWS, because it was to be expected Hungary will send something softer after going out hard the last time, and they delivered the softness.

Qualification factor: depends on how does the audience feel for this emotionally, if Joci transmits his love for his father and that other supposed message as well well enough to the audience, in this simple staging of things (well if the fatherpic concept is still considered as ‘simple’ and nothing too cheesy or creepy). For now though I’ll be optimistic enough for Hungary - they won’t break their streak this year. If this simple-ish enough staging with just the singer on it doing his best worked for our lovely Ieva last year (despite these two not being a comparable songs), this would as well! And then settle around in top 15 provided enough people are there to give Joci just the right amount of love and patience that he needs (jury is a different question but since it’s not ethno-aggressive I think they might warm up to this as well, despite this being Hungary). Or even 16th-20th.

NATIONAL FINAL BONUS

A Dal 2019, with all things considered, needs to immediately die in a hellhole. Mainly because of the juries doing their dirty work by drowning the public favourites yet again, and especially the good ones (I've mentioned some of them earlier in the first paragraph by description). Let me demonstrate two of my favourites to the unsuspecting audience:

• Let’s get the elephant out of the room first. LEANDER FUCKING KILLS. Would you even think they’d have had any sort of victory of a NF potential?? Well, not off the AWS’s heels, considering both them and AWS play metal music. But their 2019 entry, "Hazavágyom", was something else. It’s if your dad went out with a couple of his friends to start a campfire somewhere in the woods, and then he took out a guitar because he remembered that he wanted to play something new he learned after listening to a lot of Irish folk music. And they all go off together - one rhythm drum, one guitar, the others jam out to the rhythm and create a fully-fledged campfire song, and a mysterious violinstress appears out of nowhere to help keep the party going. No really, it’s in the music video. Them being the most positive surprise of the lineup 2019 really melted my heart as I didn't expect so many people siding with another shade of their music. And even I started to draw myself into that song more and more, of how dancy and heartfelt it sounded with them decent lyrics about some sort of personal affection (maybe??), hoping that the jury will listen with their hearts and minds open to this Leander’s change of things and let them win the selection that way. But in the end... you know that Assi Azar quote. That’s right. And even so guess what - their first hurdle was their last. Sure, you can say they had a flawed live performance (no violinstress :( too rough vocals at the last chorus :((((((), but if you crush a future of good potential ahead, you’ll never know what might have you lost and how much would you have liked it better if things were slightly improved according to what you thought that needed to be changed in it. As it is for now, both "Hazavágyom" and Leander Kills ended up being robbed of Tel Aviv 2019. Hats off for trying, though.

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• And then we have this fantabulous guy down here, with the name of Gergő Szekér and his journey-like legendary folk-tale, written for us guys, to let the past go, just like a (little) bird, and keep what matters only - “Madár, repülj!” mesmerized me from its first snippet (with me additionally commenting on that he’s a nice guy somehow), and then the full version came - with some rapping, wavy electronic bassline (that we haven’t seen striving since last days of dubstep’s relevancy), great choice of instruments, THAT gorgeous way of singing this whole song - I was ready to run away from the disappointment I had from Leander’s flop and immerse in this song fully knowing that it’s gonna be ‘such a jury darling!’... but a-MOTHERFUCKING-las! The boi missed the mark by 4 points in the superfinal vote-up in order just to tie with the unexpected new jury darling that was even BEATEN by Gergő in the semi, Bogi Nagy (the 16 year old I mentioned earlier)... the last juror thought that shooting up Bence Vavra to the superfinal spot was a good idea, and I can’t blame him as Bence deserved to go to the A Dal final for the little that he has participated in, but NOT AT MY BOI’S EXPENSE. ;_; I truly doubt that at this day and age there’ll be anyone capable of filling in the Gergő shaped hole in my heart... well, I can certainly TRY cutting him out of me, but the pre-NF-hype-build, his song’s remix with his X Faktor’s friends and my imagination of him dancing in the Telavivian postcards and engaging with his new Eurofandom fam through live interviews will haunt me from here on end... ugh.

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And normally I hype up the NF participants that I supported last time previous year but then they become just artists for me and I wanted more of their song but not of the actual performer in Eurovision and therefore I don’t want them to ESC anymore, but if both of those above artists go to Eurovision at some point, I’m likely stanning both the hell out of their songs AND themselves, for who they are and who they stand for (hopefully nothing too controversial, we already have had a fanfave oppose gay marriage once so imagine a Hungarian A Dal winner doing the same at some point :O). Leander for his overall talent, Gergő for everything he is (and plus a little bit of mutual acknowledgment I’m gonna talk about later UwU bias is strong ahahaha).

Now with my sorrows out of the way, let’s highlight some more of this shit-fest:

• How the fuck wasn’t Dávid Heatlie’s staging a big meme during the season?? At least nationwide?? Seriously. “La Mama Hotel”, his actual entry, might not be too much of a standout (considering it’s just some by-numbers-synth-heavy song with its only major saving grace being a kickass guitar solo), and he did not perform all his best, BUT THE LAMPS. THE FUCKING LAMPS. Too many of them, and they’re slightly too oldfashioned, but so aesthetically-satisfying out of nowhere. If I were a moth, I’d immediately run to his lamps at any given time, and even stay with them after they’re eventually returned to MTVA’s stage props garage or to a Hungarian IKEA. Yes I know the moth meme is dead btw but so what?

Not to mention the guy himself is a bit of a meme in my eyes.

• I already discussed about this on my only one-time “Fanwank Assimilation” bulletin and I have no intent to reiterate all that I said from there on this one word-for-word but let’s go on anyway. Olivér Berkes, the hipster friend of Zävodi from A Dal 2017, returned on his own to win many more hearts with a soft piano/acoustic ballad “Világítótorony” (lighthouse), which couldn’t have been staged more... disconnectingly. To summarize, it’s somewhat of a love song inspired by a lighthouse symbol (quite literally lol), staged as if it was like fisherman taking care of one lighthouse himself, coming and going to do his thing. And like, there was no click with people that made Olivér stand out with something else other than just this ballad, like he did by constantly tele-qualifying with Ádám Szabó’s current girlfriend back in A Dal 2016 and being put in the superfinal with aforementioned Zävodi in 2017. His song itself was just a nice song and kind of a lot people liked it it seems, but I wasn’t really getting it until too much later on after Olivér’s heat was over, so I was surprised with his elimination, but my feelings I got from this song off my first impression weren’t disappointed over this. Check his performance here.

• Can I call Rozina Pátkai a highlight? You might have not heard of her unless you’re Hungarian and/or THAT into their jazz scene, as she’s big on there. This year though she has had a “noisy electropop” song through to the chosen 30 of the A Dal selection, and it was of the name “Frida”. Nothing was too bad until she also ended up having some unfortunate first-hand mis-staging. I did say at the beginning of this post that she kinda looked like “lost-on-stage housewife who probably has 2 kids and 2 cats at home”, and that’s just me not being fond of the outfit she got, though I don’t really imagine in better clothes, or do I? Nevertheless, the Rubik’s cube visuals of her pictures and bright pink lighting (where visible) looked great on her staging somehow (and the on-screen effects), just not the visual aesthetic of the singer’s. Witness it here. Also witness what I meant with the visual parts of things:

Triple woman?? now I’m scared

who’s this shocked gal in the background that got cubed???? UwU

curious woman telling you a bedtime story on TV

Sorry, these captions are a little too silly, but still. The jurors were alright with it except for one (and that’s also the one who killed Olivér’s chances too a little) and the televote was harsh (5 points, yikes, the lowest ever telescore of this A Dal year). Well, if it was studio, we’d probably see her through, but me personally, I saw it as a semifinalist at best when I first heard her song. Now I think it would have been decent enough for a final too maybe? As at least the chorus of this is good but I was never too hooked on the first verse as it always reminds me of the annoyingly soft indie pop that dominates the current music trends... well alas.

(Sidenote: maybe her moterly styling was dedicated to her future child she’s currently carrying? Yep, turns out Rozina is currently pregnant, just like one other A Dal contestant this year!)

• A personal highlight for me, besides that one time Gergő Sz. spoke out to an ESCBubble interviewer that “there’s this, like, a guy or a girl from Lithuania, and [he] said “yeah, I’ve some re-LAH-tivs [sic] ... in Lithuania and she was like *exasperated gasp noise* “Lithuania! Oh my God! We love you so much!”” (and for a matter of fact, it was me :) I’ve been only acknowledged once ever but the acknowledgement still exists!!), was discovering Fatal Error (and USNK but mainly just Fatal Error) before they entered A Dal 2019 with THE EXACT SAME SONG I FIRST HEARD OF THEIRS. Yeah. “Kulcs” music video featured Örs Siklósi, your favourite Hungarian screamer/singer, as a presenter rather than a part of the song, and a good-ass metal song did he present. And as the A Dal 2019 season rolled on at the beginning, Fatal Error were on my hyping target until some better songs came on and I didn’t feel like stanning Fatal Error’s song as much as I only stanned them because they’re here for the fans even more at even more times than I expected them to be - liking their comments on the band’s Instagram and Youtube posts - nothing against other contestants though (Leander included), if they have their lives to carry on and only sit down to check Instagram twice a week or so, it’s perfectly fine. :) I am quite sure Joci is probably like this also. Nevertheless, Fatal Error totally rocked, despite coming off AWS’s heels, and they’re at least encouraging other rock acts to come over to A Dal to open themselves to the world of many eager people discovering new artists every now and then. Just like the victory of AWS sort of did. Also one of the guys from that band said that their mother was delighted to see his band live, which brings us to...

• ...The Middletonz, a fresh new band for András Kállay-Saunders to leech on through next few A Dals now that the band of his name is no longer a thing. They, and yesyes, were the first ever fan favourites to emerge, mainly for sounding modern and having these artists people hate seeing back to A Dal only because of so many tries in the show, but happy to see back in hopes for them finally taking A Dal by their hands (and for András it’s a ‘finally AGAIN’ moment), but problems arose when the juries weren’t fond of both Middletonz AND yesyes, so much so that the frontman of the latter band spoke that he’s not coming back to A Dal again (unless he lies to us by coming back in 2022 or so). What amuses me more about The Middletonz, other than the song (which is fine for the most part, the D’n’B + acoustics mix is neat and catchy, but the beat drops harder than my will to live, and it IS bad (okay further listens later it’s not THAT bad but still... you gotta have had tried harder, men), is their nationality. Besides the hidden phantom member of the group that we never heard on any interview but appeared to be present (at least on the heat stage of the NF), here we have András, which is Hungarian-American, and his friend of the (nick)name of Slashkovic, which is Dutch-Iranian! That’s a colourful palette of double nationalities. And not to mention, despite it being a minority language, therefore a perfectly fine addition, some Russian language is heard in their song, courtesy of Slashko himself. That and on the A Dal 2019 final night Slashko had his parents watching him perform live for the first time... and based on the amount of years he has hidden that from his parents, it took him SO DAMN LONG somehow to reveal himself. Damn. Anyways, anyone up here to bet we’ll see András again, especially after him being reminded to “never give up” by one of his fans? Well, now that he has definitely seen Joci win A Dal twice on his both attempts, it’s highkey positive. Now with or without Slashko? We’ll see.

• The infamous plagiarism incident, which actually hung like a shadow on one of the contestants and those accusations probably scared him for life, and then the scandal outright knifed out a completely different contestant, Petruska (if you remember him from 2016, you know who he is), a little too late into the competition. If you were so certain his song sounded alike, you’d have either eliminated him in the heats or not accepted his song at all, which... maybe did sound like a Vampire Weekend song, I’ll let you judge.

I can’t be arsed to highlight anyone else because there was a lot to go after. Like, two young-bun A Dal acts that came from the same kidshow (different season though) and one did the song all by himself but couldn’t carry it quite as far despite his basic technotronic visuals, another was completely dependent on Caramel’s songwriting capabilities and fared WAY better than everyone else expected, tied-winning the heat with Joci, being the 3rd qualifier on the semi and beating Gergő Sz. during the superfinal vote-up by 4 points (and Feró’s endorsement lol). Yes the latter person I was talking about was Bogi Nagy. Have her song linked too if you want to listen to it. (I could have also talked about her sitting on a hula hoop and having a long extended projector dress to showcase her childhood pictures onto, but that’s just a song-saving gimmick in my opinion, and I don’t wanna waste my thoughts on her any longer tbh.) And USNK, those two that won X Faktor 2018, Soundcloud-rapped a song about HASHTAGS HASHTAGS HASHTAGS, gave a needlessly over-colourful stage show and took Leander’s spot of qualification to the semis through televoting (and additionally pissed me and borisbubbles off. Ya welcome for an indirect tag too!). Wow. But enough being a bitter Betty, I’ll have to let the bird fly until the next NF season and wait for some more eager names to cheer for, even if they don’t have an exciting “#háttérzaj” of nationalities. Until then, A Dal, my love...

#eurovision 2019 #tel aviv 2019 reviews #hungary 2019 #joci pápai #az én apám #hungary

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