i keep thinking about hobbies and how i often spill over myself to pick up new ones. i have adhd, i end up trying something for like a month and then just getting far enough in it that i move on, satisfied.

and that should be fine; but it's never fine.

i am a pretty decent artist; but i can't just make art for my dnd campaign, i should be selling dnd maps and character designs and scene setting pieces. i can't just make my friends matching earrings, i need to get an etsy and ship them internationally and take bulk orders. i make pretty good props and decorations and use them to throw my friends parties - but i should be running a party planning business and start taking paying clients and networking and putting my skills to actual use.

for some reason, i never figured out the specifics of pottery. it was a fun class and i enjoyed myself - and still, i'm embarrassed, years later, that i put in all that useless effort. everything i make has to be stunning. stellar. i should have applied myself more. maybe i'm too lazy. maybe i'm broken and selfish and needy. actually creative people would have kept going; they would be bettering themselves at every possible opportunity.

we find ourselves in this trap, even accidentally: we need to commodify our time, because it is a commodity. if we spend our efforts and our time not earning, isn't that the same thing as burning free money? and god forbid you ever take up a hobby that ends up being more expensive than you thought. you sit in your car and you look at the receipt and in your head you hear a conversation that isn't even happening - your mom or your friend or your partner all saying oh great. not this shit again. it's always something with you, and it never actually means anything.

i have realized this horrible thing, recently - i'll get excited to start a project, pick up a new hobby. and then i just... stop myself. i start thinking about the amount of time it will take, and how it'll look in my monthly budget. what if i can't even produce a good enough final product. sure, it's exciting to think about how i could make my friend her own custom dice. but i'm just polluting the earth if i don't get it right. better not bother. better not try.

restless, i get caught in the negative space. the feeling that oh god, i want to create. and that horrible sense - yeah, but i don't have the time to just put to waste.

im gonna write my thoughts about this in the tags

a taste

when I tell you my jaw DROPPED when nawin was revealed to like tinh, like... a plus size character getting a love storyline?? this is the second time this year it happens in a gmmtv show (even though it's only secondary characters but idc it's a start) & all I'm doing now is PRAYING that nawin will get his man just like samsee in cooking crush got a love story 🫶

Thinking about "your weakness is how you always want to be the hero" and how the series returns to this at the end

Li Lianhua hated how he acted as Li Xiangyi and spent years trying to distance himself from it, but ultimately he still fell back into the similar patterns, for all his added experience

His main priority was always to "do the right thing" regardless of how that would impact on those around him. And it *did* impact those around him. From Qiao Wanmian and Shan Gudao as Li Xiangyi to Fang Duobing and Di Feisheng as Li Lianhua

Giving the Styx flower to the emperor so he could use it as leverage to guarantee Fang Duobing and his family's safety. Using the last of his power to save Yun Biqiu. Constantly putting others above himself whilst actively refusing to recognise that his self-sacrificial nature would hurt those he cared about most

And sure, he thinks he's going to die anyway. They're going to be hurt regardless and he can't do anything about that. His odds are low of the Styx flower even working. But ultimately, he refuses to even consider trying. Li Xiangyi has been dead a long time and Li Lianhua is just there to tide things over. What value is the life of a ghost

To the end, he lives and dies a hero. To the end, he refuses to live for himself.

Claudia finds out about Aaravos apparently viewing Sir Sparklepuff as his and Virens child and, much to Virens horror and Aaravos' amusement, immediatly asks if that makes Aaravos her step father.

no one asked but here's a graphic depiction of the way virtually every romantic relationship in tsc is connected to one another

spanning 200+ years , 74 people and 20+ books. romance is beautiful 💛 tsc fans will tell you they hate a love triangle but girl i think we have bigger things to worry about literally what is this 💛

here's a version without any of the parental/ancestral relationships in an attempt to make it easier to understand but......... well

MLCB Concert: XSY's Farewell

In truth, I really don’t like this part, because it also represents that we are bidding our characters farewell for good.

In the morning, when I was getting my makeup done - in an instant, I returned to that summer. I felt that, to be together with good friends, and then having experienced as sweltering a summer as that…

Such an ardently hot-blooded jianghu was presented to everyone; to stand here today-- Because… Because, during the time of Mysterious Lotus Casebook’s initial broadcast, everyone and all the lianluorens must also be thanked. I know there must have been a lot of difficulties when it was first broadcasted, right? To have reached this step today, I think is already very good. I think it is a result of every person’s hard work.

Just now, when we were off-stage, Yan-laoshi said something I really like; in an instant, I lost my composure. I don’t think fate is something that will come with enough waiting, or something that can be insisted on having. It’s when there comes a day where we stand together and work hard to strive toward a common goal. The sentiments of that moment, I feel, last forever.

I hope, however many years later, everyone is still together - that lianluorens can still be together. Thank you, everyone. This summer, thank you to every person. Thank you to all my good companions; thank you, every single person.

Di Feisheng! Until we meet again!

【莲花楼演唱会】 Mysterious Lotus Casebook Concert - 20230916

江湖路远   山高水长  祝 「繁华」 似锦！ The roads of the jianghu stretch far; the mountains are lofty, and the rivers are long. I wish your future to be as splendid as an embroidered tapestry! 「追光」 而行  不负初心  愿 永生难忘！ Chase the light as you journey; live up to the original intentions of your heart. I hope this will be unforgettable for your lifetime!

Any mistakes are my own.

the relationships between each member of the sailor team seems so interesting in your hc! I always love it when people depict that not all the girls get along perfectly with each other.

What does Michiru think about the inner senshi in your version? If it's not too long, what do they think about her?

Thank you! And I really love that too!

I love that some of the girls might have stronger bonds with each other or even others not being that close friendship wise and just happening to be a part of the same team, it makes their team dynamics way more believable and organic!

I’ll make a compromise (since I’m p busy) and share my “ranking” of how the girls see each other. Thank you again :)

Also small note, but these relationships are accounted for after they spent years together as a team. So obv not say like mid season S where the outers hate everyone and vice versa, but say into their 20s, after letting their bonds simmer during a period of relative calm, Earth-threatening-evil-conflict free time.

i don't know maybe it's the translation i read but i guess i always thought it was made fairly clear that shuro never legitimately hated laios so much as he resented him for being able to be the way he was. much like laios (albeit for very different reasons) shuro's affect is frequently commented on by others to be strange and at a mismatch with the prevailing culture around him, being very reticent to the point of the part where he tells the girl he likes that he likes her being when he Proposed. quite a few characters say something to this effect! shuro was raised in formality and stoicism and i think has a tendency towards not rocking the boat even besides that, and now here's this guy who breaks every one of his rules and he makes it look so easy. it's like a two-pronged frustration of "doesn't this guy understand that you can't just do that" and "fuck, what would it feel like to be able to do that." of course he gets mad! it's frustration, but it's also envy.

iignore his cut off arm it looked bad

pls i need to provide updates

ppl are saying among us in Glass Onion foreshadowed that someone was sneaking around and murdering the cast, vaguely suggesting it's a link to miles. but that's just sort of the plot of any murder mystery, hence amogus existing in the first place via ancient mystery game Mafia. no, it goes deeper.

what makes amogus special is three things. one, it is known for its special emergency meetings and body discovered votes, in which imposters are given a much greater number of opportunities for misdirection and lying and turning crewmates against each other (usually over loud voice chats where highest charisma wins).

two, it is known for the imposter having the ability to physically sabotage the environment to obfuscate their deeds.

helen frequently demanded answers, launched tirades, or gave a long detailed story multiple times in the movie, in and out of her "andi" character. helen pretended to be incompetent at searching her environment or talking for clues but she was actually amazing at both. helen pretended to be a terrible drinker unlike her late sister but she didnt act drunk until benoit mentioned, and even reflexively went for her fancy drink later. helen made the same mona lisa victory look we see andi used to do as she looks right into the camera as the last shot of the movie. helen literally sabotaged electrical.

when an imposter is accepted by all to be a crewmate, the crewmates lose...or, rather, the imposters win. and as a viewer of the game from the outside, innately, you want the imposter to win. it's the coolest that way.

we never really get detective's confirmation that andi ever died, in any capacity. nor does miles ever at any point in his fits of pride and idiocy stumble into admitting he did it. he killed one guy, and he was gonna kill countless ppl with his shit inventions, and he's a narcissist and manipulator and all around villain. he's the bad guy, no question. nobody wants to see this imposter win.

but there's one more thing that makes among us special. the default, always-used rules.

the game is played with ten people. and with ten players, there are always two imposters. in extreme circumstances, one winds up storytelling and shooting the other to win.

helen is andi all along. good for her 💆‍♀️

“And the main house [of the Kallicertes estate]?” “Burn it.” (...) “Tear the buildings to the ground,” said Irene. “Cut down every tree, grub up every living thing. There is to be no stone unturned. And when you’re done, pile the wood into whatever remains of the house, and then I want it to burn. I want it to burn for days.” (...) “Relius,” she said, calling her adviser back from the doorway. She’d been staring out the window so long, he’d quietly excused himself. “There’s a bank of coleus along the east side of the garden.” “Yes, my queen?” “Leave it untouched.”

— "Burning Down the House of Kallicertes" in Moira's Pen (2022)

QoA (pre-RotT?) Irene is so conscious of her own contempt to the notion of worship — she calls what she gives the New Gods "lip service," and once the presence of the Old Gods is revealed to her, instead of anything akin to awe, what she develops towards them is a sense of... resentment? Mistrust? Presumably due to their betrayal of Eugenides, whose devotion she witnesses firsthand in her prison*

This passage of the short story is so striking — her destruction of the actual, physical house of Kallicertes is explicitly motivated by personal revenge; it happens by decree, by the power of her word...and then, just as personally motivated, this command to spare the coleus plants that were her only allies. This expression of gratitude, like the expression of anger that preceded it, is so unpragmatic and sentimental and final — there's at the same time a feeling of humane and of divine in it...I just love it.

it made me upset when aoba roundhouse kicked (??? so funny btw) clear for wearing that apron... he did not deserve that !

I'm reading an interview about the creation of Dual Destinies and knowing that this was the writing philosophy certainly clears things up for me. "Don't worry about past characterization of chronology, just be creative" They sure did do that sir