discovered the less popular videos of oscar isaac singing and now i’m fully sobbing oh my god.

yea sooooo I may have or may have not watched and instantly rewatched all kuro musicals in existence in a spawn of one week and now have roughly 40 screenshots to redraw from

I think I might be insane or something

and I begin to bloom like a lotus flower once again the Agust D trilogy

hi! your blog is one of my favourites and i absolutely adore reading your thoughts. my grandfather recently passed away and it feels like i lost myself with him. how do i continue living after this? there is this constant weight on my chest and it feels like an emptiness has made a home inside of me. how do i go on when it feels like the world crashed on my shoulders?

hello, love! this is so very sweet and kind of you, and i hope you're treating yourself gently and kindly right now - there aren't words for a loss like this. that heaviness is difficult, and hard, and painful. it's okay if things don't feel okay, right now, or even soon - i think that's something that a lot of the people i know that have gone through similar grief feel: like they should be able to get back to a relative 'normal' in a [insert far too short period of time].

but it's okay if it hurts. that's where i'd like to start. you're allowed to feel that emptiness, that world-crashed feeling that goes beyond words, beyond time. don't feel like you have to rush this to feel some sort of better. things get easier with time, i promise you this, but sometimes painful feelings are important to feel, too. cry, scream, feel your emotions. they're a part of you. grieve.

it's perhaps a little silly, but when i think about death i always think about a couple of space songs: mainly drops of jupiter by train and saturn by sleeping at last. there are perhaps others that speak to the emotions better, but these two have always hit something a little deeper for me, and are popular for a wide-reaching reason.

and while personally i don't know much about grief like this, i do know a lot about love; and i think they're a lot of the same thing.

the people we love are a part of us, and this is why it takes from us so deeply when we lose them, because it does feel like we've lost a part of ourselves in the wake of it. but it's because they were so central to our experiences of living - our lives, that the separation introduces a hollowness - a place where they used to be. a home that now goes unlived in.

an emptiness, like you said.

but just because they're not here physically, doesn't mean he's not still there, in your heart, in your life, your memory. you can hold him close in smaller ways, as well: steal a sweater, or cologne/scent for something a little more physical and long lasting for remembering. hold onto the memories you cherish, the things that made you laugh, the ease of slow mornings and gentle nights. write them all down, slide a few photographs in there, go through it and add more when you miss him. keep them all close, keep them in your heart.

you're not alone, in this. he's still there, with you, it's just - in the little things.

he's with you in the way you see and go about your daily life, in doing what he liked to do, in the ways he interacted with the world that you shared with him. the memories you recall fondly when the night is late or the moment is right and something calls it into you like a melody, an old bell, laughter you'd recognize anywhere.

but i think, perhaps most importantly above all others - talk about him. with your family, your friends, his friends, strangers; stories are how we keep the people we love alive. the connections they've made, the legacies and experiences they've left behind, and so, so many stories.

how lucky, we are - to love so much it takes a piece of us when they go. grief is the other side of the coin, but it does not mean our love goes away. it lives in you. it lives in everyone who knew him, in the smallest pieces of our lives.

the people we love never really leave us, like this: they're in how we cook and the way we fold our newspapers, our laundry, in the radio stations we tune in to and the way we decorate our walls, our photo albums. they're in the way we store our mail, organize our closets, the scribbled notes in the indexes of our books. the meals we love and the drinks we mix, the way we spend time with one another. they've been passed down for generations, for longer than history - and we are all the luckier for it.

think about what you shared with him, and do it intentionally. bring him into your life, like this, again. whether it's crosswords or poetry or sports or anything else. if one doesn't help, try another. something might click.

i hope things feel a little easier for you, as they tend to do only with time. i hope you find joy in your grief, even if it is small and hard to grasp at first. know that your hurt stems from so much love that there isn't a place to put it properly, and that it is something so meaningful and hurting poets and storytellers have been struggling to put it into words and sounds that feel like the fit right for eons, and that it is also just simply yours. sometimes things don't have to make sense. sometimes they just are - unable to be put into words or neat little sentiments, as unfair and tragic as they come.

but i promise it will not feel like this forever. your love is real. and perhaps, on where to begin on from here - i think it's less on finding where to begin and just beginning. and you've already started. you've taken the most important and crucial step: the first one. wherever you go, after that, from here? you'll figure it out. you always have, and you always do. it'll come, as things always do. love leads us, as does light - and you're never alone in your hurt. in your grief, your missing something dear to you. i think if you talk about it with others, you'll find they have ways of helping you cope as well - and they have so much love of their own to spare, too.

as an aside, here is the song (northern star by dom fera) i was listening to when i wrote this, for no other reason more than it makes me think of connections, and love, and how we hold onto the people we love and how they change us, wonderfully and intrinsically. it's a little more joyous than the others i've mentioned, and plays like a story, and it made me think of what is at the core of this, love and stories and i am here with you, and maybe it'll bring you some joy, if you'd like it. wishing you all my love and ease 💛

I need more selkie theon (and asha. I just think that would be a vibe. fuck the greyjoy sigil being a kraken for a moment and let them be seals) content.

like the opportunity to have theon's coat taken by ned when he's made his ward is right there and it is perfect and beautiful and tragic.

and you could build on that depending on the version of the selkie myth/story you're going off of (I personally love the song of the sea version of selkies for story writing). maybe he can't talk without it, maybe he gets sick, maybe his voice has magical properties of sorts.

I have this one concept in my head that I don't have the time to write, but it goes something along the lines of theon getting sick after years away from his coat and the stark kids have to find his coat and drag his slowly dying ass to the bay of seals (cause y'know bay of seals and theon's a selkie so he'll turn into a seal... I thought it was creative).

also, in a lot of versions of selkies, when they get sick, their hair turns white, which is on brand for theon. they're also pretty, their stories are typically soaked to the bone in tragedy, they're normally held captive/tortured, amongst other things, which are also very on brand for theon.

and maybe you get some selkie to selkie telepathy of sorts, so when theon finally enter the water a seal again, asha books it to come find him, cause its been years since she's been able to feel him (I'm soft for them, I will create the most improbable and ridiculous scenario's to bring them together and for them to have soft sibling moments).

all and all, theon being a selkie is something I need more content of, please and thank you.

watched the little mermaid last night and it’s everything i imagined it to be and more. im cheesing smiling kicking my feet up beaming with joy. halle is ARIEL and jonah is PRINCE ERIC aassddffgghgkllllll what a perfect cast. HALLE’s VOICE IS PERFECTION. eric’s love-gaze-pinning eyes got me weak af. my man was in LOVE LOVE with ariel. CHEMISTRY WAS CHEMISTRY-ING. and grimsby was me tbh… he made it his full mission to get eric and ariel together and i love him for that.

look at them! just two beautiful nerds in love. yeah, im going back to the cinema tonight to watch it again idc if i just get three hours of sleep it will be time well-spent 😭🧡

Together

"..Us four against the world, we are unstoppable!"

Go and write your own song

All the world will sing along

When you find your melody

We'll join in, in harmony

-Life's What You Make It, Graham Colton

"I was always insane except upon occasions when my heart was touched."

[DPR IAN - LIMBO (Official Music Video)]

let me hit your cigarette, the taste of you

Rocky aur Rani ki Prem kahani....is pure bollywood.

As Rani said swad wahi soch nayi.

This is a movie for this generation and actually every generation. KJo trumped himself with this one.

Because this is quintessential bollywood. Songs and dances and grand sets. And actors who act.

Ranveer Singh 🔥

No-one could have done Rocky better justice. He was perfect. The feminine masculine energy that he brings on the table, with beautiful dancing talent. He was perfect.

Everyone else was really good but special mention to Chandan Chatterjee. That was so graceful and so beautiful.

Dharmendra and Shabana. Their love story 😭.

Jaya Bachchan playing a better villain than Amitabh from k3g. This lady is way too talented for this industry.

Damn it. This movie made me cry so bad.

you really can't write another song about your broken heart x

[Machines hum and rattle around Jude in agonizing dissonance, like nails on a chalkboard. He just needed to get out a little, cleaning up his apartment had left a sour taste in his mouth.] [The little things he finds have memories swarming the forefront of his mind, like spare arcade tokens, stowed away in his desk drawers.] Stevie: C'mon, one more round? I'll let you win! [An old pair of drum sticks, worn out after years of use. A little 'S' carved crudely on one of them.] Jude: You gotta pick up the sticks first. [Her laughter echoes in the small space. Jude would’ve done anything to make her laugh.] Stevie: Shut up, you dork! I know that. [Crumpled concert tickets, the ink of them wearing away over time.] Stevie: We should've gotten high before we left. Jude: I'll buy us drinks. Stevie: It's a fucking Oasis cover band. I'll need something stronger. [Journal Entry: Jude is attempting to write another song, the lyrics are from the song Look What You’ve Done by Jet. Half of the second verse is scratched out, with the words "FUCK THIS" written next to it. For story purposes, he’s writing these as his own lyrics. ]

Izzy singing is my favourite thing to ever happen. Israel Basilica Hands marry me right fucking now.

AN. EPISODE. 🎸🪕🎻🪈🎺🎷🪘🥁🪇

words can’t express how much i love him, his courage and fearlessness of expression in everything he creates is pure magic 🖤

posty by himself for now but hello again im drawing sky ship things!!

it's just that "i was half-convinced i'd waken, satisfied enough to dream you" is such a delicate declaration, yet so ardent. if perhaps you aren't real, if you are something my own mind has concocted, that's enough. (come back to me, even as a shadow, even as a dream.) the mere gossamer thread of fantasy would be enough to fill my heart, would be real enough if you don't exist in this waking world, i'll bring you into it, i'll find you in a dream. "happily, i was mistaken," and have never been so glad to be wrong. you do exist, some miracle of fate led me to that window, and as long as you are real, there is hope to hold onto. that love could be realized too. anthony is the only person in the story who still believes in anything, and it's love. my heart has followed a winding path, and that you exist is enough to persist. in the cracks of light, i dreamed of you. it was real enough to get me through. 'til i'm with you, then i'm with you there.