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#alfred became a monsterfucker holy shit
mortiferumsomnum · 2 years
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Danny Had Enough of Clockwork’s Pining
EDIT: MASTERLIST
***
The reason why Alfred is somewhat immortal is because Clockwork is in love with him, and had “blessed” him, but Alfred is unaware about all this, and Clockwork would love to keep that to himself, thank you. 
But Danny, being the little shit that he was, went up to Alfred.
“Hello, good sir!” said Danny in the middle of the grocery store, not at all looking like a naughty little boy up to no good. 
Alfred, being the absolute angel that he was, smiled kindly towards Danny, straightening his back after grabbing some canned sardines and putting them in the cart. “Yes, young sir? How may I help you?”
Clockwork, who was still in his lair, cursed as Danny said, “My Dad has been pining over you for... years? I think? And I just wanted to ask if you were free anytime this week so you could meet him.”
THAT BLASTED CHILD! Clockwork stopped time in his lair, making sure that even the observants were frozen, before disappearing and appearing behind Danny with his perfectly crafted Human form.
“Daniel William Fenton,” and good, the child flinched, “that’s enough.”
But when Danny turned towards him, he didn’t look the least bit remorseful.
Clockwork lifted his eyes to see Alfred, and his breath hitched when Alfred smiled. Amusedly. At HIM. 
Let it be known that Clockwork did not blush. He didn’t.
“I...” Clockwork coughed into his hand to clear his throat. Because he surely didn’t squeak either. “I am Horatio Clockwork. This child is just someone I am babysitting.”
A loud, ‘Hey!’ came from Danny, which was promptly ignored.
Alfred chuckled. And it was beautiful.
“Alfred Pennyworth,” he said. And his was smooth and beautiful and... 
“ClockDad, stop staring at him. It’s rude,” Danny said, a shit-eating grin on his face.
Clockwork huffed. “I wasn’t staring at him, Danny.” Then looking at Alfred, and Ancients, he could look at those eyes forever. “I’m sorry if it seemed that way.”
Danny huffed beside him. “Yeah, Mr. Pennyworth. I’m sorry if Clockwork was enjoying too much of a beautiful view.”
Okay, that’s it. He needs to get his child and himself out of here. 
But a small laugh from Alfred got Clockwork out of his thoughts.
“I am free this Friday evening,” he said, bringing out a pen and a piece of paper, writing on it with smooth motions, and handing it over to Clockwork with a wink. “Do message me the time and place, Mr. Clockwork.”
Clockwork took the paper.
And then, Alfred Strode away. Clockwork could swear the man’s hips were swaying.
He got Alfred’s number in his hands, written on a piece of paper.
“You’re welcome, by the way,” said Danny.
That doesn’t stop Clockwork from dragging Danny kicking and screaming out of the grocery store and back to his lair.
******
WHAT IS THIS?!??!?!?!? I DON’T KNOW EITHER XD
BUT NOW I’M MAKING THIS EVERYONE ELSE’S PROBLEM TOO
- Clockwork discovered Alfred when he was bored watching people in his lair. It was love at first sight the moment he saw Alfred defeat the odds in some secret mission. He was like some movie protagonist, shirt off and muscles prominent. An explosion happened in the background while Alfred surveyed his surrounding area with keen eyes. He looked glorious.
- Clockwork would follow Alfred’s adventures in being in the military. He cheered when Alfred became one of the best plan pilots in the army. He wept when he saw how distressed Alfred was in treating his comrades with field medic skills that was forced upon him. He cried in joy when Alfred finally left the military life to become a butler, an insanely handsome butler, for the Wayne family in America.
- But then, Alfred would have to go back to the distressing life of having to watch his loved ones pass away before him, again. He watches as Alfred desperately teaches Bruce how to defend himself (even if he looked very composed, he wasn’t. Alfred wasn’t composed). He watched as Alfred kept the Wayne Manor clean in worry, repetitive actions being the only thing that calms the man, while Bruce went off on his soul-searching journey to train himself while giving Alfred messages once in a while to confirm that he’s still alive. 
- He watched as Alfred gained a grandson, lost a grandson, and gained more grandchildren as the years went on.
- And then Danny came into Clockwork’s life, and Clockwork could feel how Alfred felt when he took in Bruce as his son.
- Well, that pride and happiness towards his pseudo-son was short-lived once Danny found out his secret.
- “ClockDad, look. Both of you are single. Both of you are old. Both of you are available. So, like, why not?”
- Because Clockwork is immortal, and Alfred is not---
- Danny stared at Clockwork in deadpan. “There is literally an afterlife for restless souls, which is the Ghost Zone! If Kitty and Johnny could be together, so can you two!!”
- “He does not know I exist.”
- I can fix that, thought Danny.
- So, Danny reads all of Clockwork’s (creepy as heck and bordering on stalker-ish--- Oh GOD, he even has a picture of Alfred SHIRTLESS-- Nope. Not touching that. God. Ancients. Just. NO.) notes and went to the grocery store that Alfred frequented.
- Thanks to Danny, Clockwork gets a date. And Clockwork knew exactly where to take Alfred.
- “By the way, what are you going to do about your fake civilian identity?” Danny asked.
- Clockwork didn’t answer him.
- And Danny figured it out. “You already had a civilian identity prepared for yourself... didn’t you? When did you make it?! When you fell in love with Alfred?!”
- Clockwork still didn’t answer him.
- “HOLY SHIT, CLOCKWORK!”
- All I can say is, the date was a success. Clockwork even managed to get a kiss... or two... or ten...
- It was a full blown make-out session that Danny (who was invisible) and the Bats (who were stalking in some of the higher buildings) cringed to. They were two sweet and gross old men that were in love. And that’s nice. But they don’t want to see them kissing!!
- Bruce had many reservations about it. That’s his Dad. And it didn’t matter if they already had their first date! If they plan to get serious and... get... married. OH GOD. WHAT IF THEY WANT TO GET MARRIED?! THEY NEED TO CONSULT BRUCE FIRST! BRUCE NEEDS TO MEET THIS HORATIO CLOCKWORK. And, to Bruce’s delight, everyone in the batfamily wanted in on giving this Clockwork the shovel talk.
- Hitting two weeks into the relationship, Clockwork came clean to Alfred, because he knew this man. He also now knows this man better than before. He did this not because it was fair, but because he wanted to be loved for all of him. Not just as Horatio Clockwork, but as fully Clockwork.
- Danny, who was on board the whole time, became worried for him.
- But Clockwork wasn’t as worried.
- And Clockwork was right. And because the two of them were very good at communication (which shocked Danny because Clockwork always talked to him in riddles. On purpose. Let it be known that although Clockwork is wise, he’s also a conniving little shit, the master of all things gremlin and mischief), they decided that it was best to keep Clockwork’s ghost status hidden, and not bring it up when it is not needed.
- But, because Danny is a good son, he goes with Clockwork to Wayne Manor as moral support. Invisible Moral Support. Danny was also going there to watch the Batdad and Batkids shovel talk Clockwork. (And he stayed invisible the entire time. Sucks to be you, Clockwork).
- When Clockwork saw Jason’s status, while he and Alfred were alone (and after soundproofing the room he and Alfred were sharing in the manor... of course Clockwork noticed the hidden cameras), lying together on the bed with Alfred in his arms, he talked about what Clockwork could make for Jason so that the young man could live the rest of his life without the Lazarus’ influence. Alfred cried tears of happiness, and kissed Clockwork (they were just put out that they couldn’t do hot gay sex without the family knowing.)
- Bruce begrudgingly accepted Clockwork after seeing how happy he made Alfred. Clockwork even managed to gain the approval of the batkids. 
******
- “I should bring my emotionally adopted son the next time I visit,” said Clockwork.
- They all agreed and were excited to meet Danny.
- When Danny - 15 years old - appeared, he hugged Bruce by the waist. “Nice to meet you, future brother-in-law!!!”
- The batkids love him.
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