#alex really said im gonna love and fight for you every step of the way | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

thewritingstar · 4 years

Note

Ooohh! For the prompts, can you please do 85 or 88 with Buttercup and Butch??

85) “Could you come get me?”

Pairing: Butch x Buttercup (Greens/ Butchercup)

Fandom: PPG

I really need to right more Greens. (the next few asks are greens so yall are getting the goods) I really hope you enjoy this because I had fun writing it and its short and cute and angsty and soft and i was butch and bc to love each other forever

requests/asks always open :) ---

The door to his apartment slammed shut. His temper was spiked high and Boomer looked up from his guitar with concern while Brick simply cocked an eyebrow and went back to his video game.

Butch was angry. No furious, no full of rage, whatever synonym that was formed was processing through his body as he shook with a violent tone. The poor orange juice bottle didn’t stand a chance and soon his wrist was in a tight hold by his notorious leader.

“Chill.” Was all Brick said with a cold and deadly tone. He took the bottle from his brother who looked like he was about to burst with even a poke and poured him a glass and sent him to his room. He was not a fucking child! but he had orange juice now, so it was whatever.

He slammed his door shut, Boomer yelled but he couldn’t care. Taking the juice down in one gulp, he carefully placed the glass on his desk because the last thing he needed was to break something and have Brick in his face. He had just healed from last month's brutal brawl and he didn’t need more scars from Brick's fist, not now at least.

He paced around his room. His thought went berserk in his head and he wanted them to stop.

God he was an idiot. How could he do that? How could he ruin the only good thing he had.

He slunk down against his wall until he hit the floor and just sat there with a shaking head and a bitter laugh.

“You fucking did it now Butch.” He said bitterly.

He fucked up big time. This wasn’t some simple and stupid fight that he could come back from, no, he really ruined their friendship. For what? for something else? Pathetic. He should just go back to stealing but that would mean more of them. He wanted the floor to open up and swallow him whole, destroy him too if it meant it would get rid of the heavy feeling.

He almost didn’t notice his door opening to his younger brother. He couldn’t care either. Instead his eyes stayed in one place on the carpet until his brother sat down and took away his view.

“Hey bro.” Boomer said softly. Butch’s leg only bounced as Boomer handed him some water. “Wanna tell me what happened?”

“Nothing.” he tried to say with fire but it died in his throat. He hated that his brother could see him at his weakest points but that's what he always liked about them. Boomer may have been deemed “dumber than the dumbest '' and everything in between but he had a merit of compassion that neither of the boys possessed, at least not as much.

Boomer laughed a little before rolling his eyes. “Yeah well I’ve never seen you this upset.”

“Im always angry.”

“Mmm no not really. You may be ready to punch and fight at any given moment but that look in your eyes and your body movement, you’re upset. Plus Brick is always angry, you have calmed down over the years.”

He stayed silent. Sure maybe he didn’t have the same anger as the red ruff but he wasn’t cheerful like Boomer, maybe he was more content. Fuck, he was turning soft.

“So tell me what's up.”

Butch frown deepened as he drank the rest of his water. “I kissed her.”

“Who?” Boomer asked.

“Who do you think?” He spat and the look of confusion didn’t leave his face.

“Kelly?”

“No.”

“Ashley?”

“God no.”

“Molly-”

“BUTTERCUP. I KISSED BUTTERCUP!” He shouted and instantly stopped when Boomers eyes widened. He can’t remember the last time he cried. When he felt the hot tears on his face but the sensation building up in his chest as the tears came was too much.

“You kissed-but she has a boyfriend?”

“You don’t think I know that?” He yelled again and this time his head began to pound.

“Why?” The blond asked and he looked up through blurred eyes.

Why?

-- Earlier that day--

“Wanna hit the skate park?” He asked as he grabbed his backpack from the sidelines of the basketball court. Buttercup shook her head as she looked to the sky.

“Not today, it's gonna rain and uh, i have plans.” She said the last part quietly.

He only rolled his eyes and scoffed. “Let me guess, with Alex?”

She punched his arm lightly as she picked up her own stuff. They felt the beginning of the rain drops fall on to their heads but didn’t make a rush to move. “Yeah and?” She knew he wasn’t a fan of Alex.

She doesn’t know why. Alex was nice. He didn’t play sports, or like horror movies, or really anything Buttercup liked but he was...nice. They had only been together for two months and Butch hated every moment of it.

“And? You’re blowing me off for a dude who can’t even kick a ball straight.”

She huffed, not this again. “Butch you don’t have to like him.”

“I don’t” She didn’t know why it stung. Her sisters liked him, he was more of Bubbles' friend anyways. Bubbles got them together and it was fine. But Blossom was skeptical, almost like she didn’t approve for some reason.

“We are gonna hang out on Friday for movie night so what's the big deal?” She asked. The rain was now coming down harder but his feet stayed glued to his spot. She could see a tense look in his eye as if he were debating what to say next.

“Forget it. Have fun.” He tried to turn away but she caught his wrist.

“He’s nice.” She tried to convince him and maybe herself too.

He let out a bitter laugh before stepping closer to her.

“You’re too good for him.” He whispered in her ear. It was the truth and they both knew it. “You know he’s only with you for the title, don’t do that to yourself.” The rain was now pouring on them. Soaking into their clothes and if they were fully normal, they would be shivering but instead their skin burned like fire.

“Butch, please don’t.” She gulped. “Please I need my friend.” It wasn’t convincing.

“You and I both know that’s not true.”

“It doesn’t matter.” She tried to reason but she was losing and he was inching closer. She should have hit him. Told him to stop and that she just wanted her best friend by her side. But that was all a lie. One that she had been saying to herself for months.

“You know that I can treat you so much better. He doesn’t understand you, he never will. Face it BC, you and I aren’t just counterparts. We are one in the same and I get you. Please.” His voice above a whisper as his lips connected with hers.

He felt her tense up. He shouldn’t be doing this. She had a boyfriend. A lousy and lame boyfriend who couldn’t ever treat her how she deserves. She was a walking goddess among these mortals and he knew that. She was dark and devious but in a pleasing way and he wanted nothing more than to call her his.

She fell into his kiss. Pulling at his collar as she screamed at herself for doing this. But it felt so right and so good. they fit like puzzle pieces, as cliche as it sounded, it was true. She had never felt the spark or fireworks people say when you kiss someone. But right now it was an explosion of lust and comfort, and she knew only he could ever make her feel that way.

They pulled a part as their breaths felt heavy and their foreheads touched. He expected a punch to the gut or even a slap to face. He deserved it after all. But she didn’t and she hated that she didn’t.

“I have to go.” She said as she looked away.

“Hey.” he tugged at her fingers lightly. “I don’t care. But I’m going to be there for you.” He turned his own head the other direction as she flew away. His chest felt heavy and his teeth sunk into his bottom lip as blood touched his tongue.

He felt it in his system. The guilt and the dread. Mojo taught them not to feel any of that, they were villains after all. He saw the fade of the neon green streak and without thinking, he turned on his heel and walked away. A near by tree blasted to pieces as smoke burned from his hand and he never wanted to see this stupid place again.

And now he was here. Soaking wet while tears spilled from his eyes and his little brother looked at him with pity. He hated that dude. Hated how he would look at other girls in the hallways while he had the best one on his arm. Hated how he hadn’t bothered to show up to any of her games and cheer her on. Hated that he told Butch that he won.

He gripped his fists and finally stood up, Boomer helping him from toppling over and he doesn’t remember his shirt being off but now he was pushed towards the shower and his brother telling him not to get sick. He let the water run over him as he tried to get rid of all those thoughts.

He could be mad all he wanted but he shouldn’t have kissed her. No matter how stupid Alex was, he didn’t want BC to be seen as a cheater, it was his fault. Before long he was now out of the shower, warm and clean but he starred in the mirror and hated how his eyes were puffy.

He didn't bother combing his hair or doing anything and just wanted to go to sleep, even though it was only 8 pm. By the time he flopped onto his bed and grabbed his phone, he saw three missed calls. All from Buttercup.

“Fuck.” It was probably her screaming how he ruined their relationship and that she never wanted to see him again. He would understand. He didn’t want to press the button to call her back, he wanted to savor what was left of their friendship but on the first ring she picked up.

“Buttercup before you yell I just need you to know-”

“Could you come get me?” Her voice was like a meek squeak through the phone and he wasn't sure if he heard her right.

“What?” He heard her sniffle as if she was crying.

“Butch please. You-you were right.”

He hung up.

She heard the phone line go dead and sat on the sidewalk with tears in her eyes. She was stupid. So incredibly stupid for thinking that Alex was nice. She knew it all along and for what? What was she trying to prove?

Her head was in between her knees as she sob. She just wanted her best friend but that was gone now.

“BC?” she lifted her head and saw him through blurry tears. She wiped her face with her sleeve but it didn’t matter since the rain was pouring down. “What the hell did he do to you?” His tone is now sour.

She held her hands up. “Guess he forgot I was coming over and when I got there, that bitch from English, she was. And they were-” She choked out a sob before she felt him pull her to his chest. She wrapped her arms around them and tugged at his shirt, hoping that he wouldn't go away. “You were right and im just some stupid fucking girl who-”

“You’re not stupid.” He stopped her and pulled away so that he could look at her. “He is a piece of shit for not treating you right. And an even bigger shit for sleeping around, fucker.”

“Two months.” She whispered. “He was with her for the entire time.”

He thought the anger he felt before was his limit but now he was seething. He had lied and cheated on her for the entirety of their relationship and now he didn’t even feel bad for kissing her. Instead of bolting up and going to find him, he just hugged her.

“I'm sorry.”

“Buttercup you don’t have to apologize.”

“I only dated him because of you.” her voice was quiet.

He furrowed his eyebrows and she let out a deep breath.

“I was afraid to be with you because I didn’t want anything to change. I wouldn’t forgive myself, so I thought if i had a distraction, i could keep those feelings down.” She bit back a small laugh. “And we see how that turned out.”

She looked at him and he was silent. She laughed a little and he tilted his head. “We are so stupid.” She smiled before rolling her eyes and pulling him into a kiss. He had been on his knees as she was sitting down and now due to the force of the pull. He was leaning over her with a hand behind them keeping him from toppling over her.

He embraced the kiss and she cupped one of his cheeks with her hand. It was an awkward position but he couldn’t care as he was too focused on kissing the most amazing girl he had ever met. They pulled apart and before he fell over, he moved so he was sitting next to her and she rested her head on his shoulder.

“I don’t think anything would change.” He stated and she hummed.

“Really.”

“Nah, we are both too stubborn for that shit. I wouldn’t give us up in any way.” She cracked a smile and the rain had lightened up. “So... what do you say. Babe?” He laughed as he held out his hand and she looked at it before placing her hand in his and pressing her lips quickly to his cheek.

“Game on.”

And this time when he kissed her lips, it was slow and just right.

hope you enjoyed!!!

42 notes · View notes

pastelwitchling · 5 years

Text

The prompt is courtesy of @toooldtoactcool

Following his discharge, Alex takes the recently vacant position with the sheriff’s department. As the the new guy, he’s on Saturday night jail duty. Michael keeps goading Max to arrest him so he can spend time with Alex who has been avoiding him.

I’m sorry, I’m so sorry, I couldn’t put Alex in those awful sheriff’s department outfits, he’s too cute for it. Not to mention, he’s a genius, I felt the sheriff thing a little beneath his ability. I hope my take on it is okay, though ❤

***

“Seriously?”

“What can I say?” Michael smirked. “I’m a menace to society.”

Max glowered at his brother from behind the bars, his arms crossed. “You know this is pathetic, right? If you want to talk to him, just talk to him. It’d make all of our jobs a hell of a lot easier.”

Michael stood. “You don’t think I’ve tried? The guy’s freaking military, Max, if he doesn’t want me near him, it’s gonna be damn hard to get near him.”

“Getting yourself thrown in a cell every day is not what he wants, and you know it,” Max said, his expression softening. “We need him, Michael, and because of you, he’s started to hesitate coming in here. You have to stop.”

“No, Max,” Michael shook his head, holding onto the bars. “I need him. And he won’t talk to me. I’m running out of options here.”

Max pursed his lips, then sighed. “You want me to talk to him for you?”

“No offense, buddy, but I don’t really need a wingman,” Michael said. “Especially not my own brother.”

Max scoffed. “You need all the help you can get.”

“Who’s going to need help?” Alex suddenly said, walking in, his eyes on the papers in his hands. Michael, without really realizing he was doing it, stepped closer to the bars, trying to get as close as possible to Alex.

“Oh – uh –” Max tried, but before he could get a word out, Alex looked up and his eyes caught Michael.

If Michael wasn’t who he was, if he hadn’t known Alex as well as he did, then he may have missed the subtle way Alex tensed, the way his fingers tightened ever so slightly on his papers, the way his eyes seemed to shine for a split second, only to be shadowed with an overbearing darkness that spoke of resignation.

If Michael hadn’t known Alex, he might’ve missed all of that. But he did know him, so he hadn’t.

“Sorry about my brother,” Max said, but Michael couldn’t miss the way Max moved aside to give Alex a better view of him.

“Bar fight?” Alex asked, his eyes on Michael, and Michael shrugged a shoulder. Alex then looked to Max, and as he approached them, he said, “Then what are you apologizing for? You’re not the one in a cell.”

His tone was curt, his stand cold and distant, as if Michael was a common criminal. Part of Michael knew he should sit back down, to stay quiet for the remainder of the time that he’d be stuck here, to think of another way to talk to Alex, but he couldn’t move. With Alex so close, Michael felt himself drawn to him, his body refusing to pull away from the bars.

“I finished up those security details you wanted,” he said, handing the papers to Max. “Fixed a few miscalculations, looked over the entry and exit points. Pretty basic stuff, but I wanted to doublecheck everything.”

Max looked over the papers, and after a while, nodded. “Alex, this is amazing. Hey, thank you for coming in, all your help. I know you’ve been busy lately, with your enlistment period ending.”

Alex’s brows furrowed. “Wait, how’d you know my enlistment period was…” he trailed off, and Michael saw him glance at him before quickly looking away, sighing. “Right. Well, don’t worry about it. I’m glad to keep busy.”

Max looked like he wanted to say something, his eyes softening as they usually did just before one of his comforting talks, except this time, Michael knew it would be on his behalf. To his luck, before Max could say anything, his two-war radio sounded on his belt, and he picked it up.

Michael only heard static as he focused on Alex who was looking over his work again, though Michael had the strong suspicion he was just doing it to avoid having to look at the cowboy. He didn’t know if he felt great or sick about that.

Before he knew it, Max was talking about needing to head out, and he asked Alex if he wanted a ride back with him. Michael swallowed, his hands tightening to fists around the bars as he thought about Alex leaving, but Alex shook his head, smiled, and said he would drive himself back.

Michael barely registered Max walking out, his eyes on Alex, trying to figure out what to say.

“Are you hurt?” Alex suddenly asked, his eyes down.

For a second, Michael thought he’d heard him wrong, but when Alex glanced at him, he cleared his throat, and smirked. “Uh – why? You wanna nurse me back to health?”

Alex rolled his eyes and started to walk off, but Michael, in a panic, grabbed his sleeve through the bars. “Okay, alright, I’m sorry, don’t leave. I’m sorry.”

Alex raised a brow at him, and Michael let go of his arm, holding his hands up in defense. “I was just… trying to make you laugh.” When Alex looked unimpressed, Michael swallowed and said, “Just – just a few bruises.”

He shook his head. “If this is your attempt at getting my attention –”

“—it is –”

“—it sucks,” he said. “Do you have any idea what this past week has been like? Walking in every morning just to see you beat up? Most people use a phone, Guerin.”

“Would you have picked up?” Alex said nothing, and Michael pursed his lips. He wasn’t completely surprised, but he would be lying if he said he wasn’t disappointed. “I didn’t know you hated me that much.”

Alex frowned. “I don’t hate you, you know I don’t. Don’t say that again.”

Michael’s eyes caught Alex’s, and when Alex looked away, Michael stepped closer, the two a mere few inches apart. He loved seeing Alex in jeans and flannel, the shirt folded at his forearms, a watch and a string bracelet from Maria’s mother on his wrist – so rugged, so grownup, so…

“You look good,” he said quietly, searching his face. “How’ve you been?”

“Better than you, apparently.” He shook his head. “Guerin, you have to promise me you’ll stop doing this. You’re going to get seriously hurt.”

“You know none of those bastards could touch me if I didn’t want them to.”

Alex scoffed, looking at Michael incredulously. “So you’ll risk either breaking a bone or revealing your secret?”

“If that’s what it takes to talk to you,” Michael said, coming as close as he could to the bars so that his body was pressed against them, and he was close enough to Alex to whisper. “You’re avoiding me, and I can’t – I can’t take it.”

“We survived ten years without each other.”

“No, this is different, you know it is. You’re here and you’re not here at the same time.”

“I tried to be here, and you threw me away,” Alex whispered, but it was enough for Michael to feel his anger and pain vibrate through him.

Alex’s eyes shimmered with unshed tears, and the words died in Michael’s throat. “I was terrified, and I took a chance for you, and you chose someone else. What do you want me to do? Smile every time I see you? Laugh with you like we’re best friends? Like seeing you doesn’t kill me? What?”

“Alex…” Michael trailed off. Even when he had nothing else to say, Alex’s name came to his lips, but what could he say to wipe that look off his face? The one that told Michael that he just didn’t trust him anymore? The one that hoped for a word of comfort, but knew he wouldn’t get one?

He opened his mouth, not knowing what would come out, when Max walked back in, a struggling skinny man, Joel, in his hold.

“Found this idiot right outside,” Max said as he handcuffed Joel to his desk, seeing as how Michael was occupying the only cell there. “Drunk out of his mind.”

“Only one who’s drunk is you, Sheriff,” Joel slurred. “You saw the way that filthy Mexican looked at me! If I hadn’t pulled a gun out, he woulda’!”

“Yeah, yeah,” Max said. “Meanwhile, you’re always here.” Michael noticed Max harshly close the cuff around his wrist, and he snorted. “Maybe it’ll give you time to think, or, you know, whatever that mess of a brain usually does in its spare time.”

Max sighed, his hands on his hips. “You guys good to stay here with him for a bit while I go draw up the paperwork? He’s harmless.”

Michael pressed his lips together, wondering whether or not he should remind Max that both he and Alex were perfectly capable of keeping themselves safe no matter who was locked up in there with them, but before he could make the retort, Alex politely said, “Don’t worry, we’re fine.”

Max nodded, ignoring Joel’s accusations of unjust treatment as he walked out.

“I didn’t do nothin’ wrong,” Joel complained as Michael tried to speak to Alex, though Alex looked like he was done talking.

Michael stuck his tongue in his cheek, and quickly, he lost patience. He and Alex both snapped at Joel to “Shut up!” and the racist seemed to realize then that he wasn’t alone in the room.

His eyes glossed over Michael and settled on Alex, and his expression soured. “Oh, great,” he whined. “I’m really screwed if the fag is outside the cell. This whole country’s goin’ to the flower boys and caravans!”

Michael stared. “The hell did you just call him?”

Joel narrowed his eyes. “You his boyfriend or somethin’?”

“Guerin, stop, don’t engage with him,” Alex said calmly, seemingly unbothered by the insult. “He’s not thinking clearly.”

“When is he ever?!”

“Hey,” Joel whistled, “freak! The sheriff’ll listen to you. You tell ‘im to let me go, or I will make your life a livin’ hell, boy. I can do it, I have that power.”

“Good for you,” Alex said thoughtlessly, his focus on his papers, then he mumbled to himself about security details.

He was so busy with his thoughts, he didn’t notice Joel grab a stapler with his free hand, but Michael did. Joel threw it, and just before it hit Alex’s head, it froze in midair. Alex didn’t look particularly startled that it was flying, only that it had been stopped, though Michael’s glare was more focused on a shocked Joel.

Michael felt his blood boil, the energy coursing through his veins, his head throbbing as he forced the stapler open, turning it against Joel in the air.

“You,” he growled, “are gonna pay for that, you asshole.”

“Damn it, Guerin, stop!” Alex hissed, taking the stapler in his hand. While Joel stuttered behind him, he turned to face Michael, his voice low. “What were you thinking?”

“He was going to hit you!” Michael said. “Now, get out of my line of vision so I can blow him up.”

“I can look after myself,” he said, and went to place the stapler on the opposite side of the desk, all the while, Joel stammering nervously.

“Hey, d-did you see that? That stapler flew, did you do that? Hey, freak, answer me –”

Joel grabbed Alex’s arm, and Michael saw panic flash across Alex’s face for only a split second before he grabbed Joel’s wrist, turned his arm, and in a flash, Joel’s face was on the desk, his arm twisted painfully over his head as he screamed, Alex pressing down.

“Grab me again,” he said quietly, his voice dark, “and I’ll tear your arm out of its socket.”

Joel wailed loudly, tears running down his drunk face as he screamed, “I-I’m sorry, I’m sorry, p-please!”

But it was as if Alex couldn’t hear him, his eyes out of focus.

Michael moved his lips, his words silent. “Alex,” he finally said, his voice soft, but it seemed to be enough to wake Alex out of his trance.

The airman blinked, his brows furrowed, and once he realized what he was doing, he stepped back quickly as if Joel had been on fire. He held his own hands up in front of him, his expression a mix of shock and horror.

“Alex,” Michael tried, “Alex, it’s okay.”

“I – I have to – go, I…” Alex backed toward the door as Max came in.

“Alright, Joel, let’s get this over…” he trailed off, looking at the mess of papers on the ground, the crying Joel slumped over his desk, the distressed look on Michael’s face, and he frowned. “What the hell happened? Hey, Alex, are you okay?”

Alex nearly jumped at Max’s hand on his shoulder, muttering quick apologies as he hurried out, despite Michael calling him to come back.

Max kept his eyes on Joel as he approached Michael. “Okay,” he said, his eyes dark, “what’d you do to Alex? What’d you say to him?”

I-I look in the mirror, and I… I don’t even see myself sometimes. I see my father.

Michael shook his head. “I don’t think it’s what I said, Max. I… I think it’s what I didn’t.”

#malex #alex manes #michael guerin #malex one-shot #malex fanfic #malex fanfiction #malex fic #malex angst #malex fluff #roswell new mexico #roswell nm #tyler blackburn #michael vlamis #malex prompt #malex prompt list #gay #love

102 notes · View notes

spicyyy-muffin · 6 years

Text

Bug- BadBoy!Shawn

Shawn Mendes x Reader

Words: 1,876

Warnings: Langauge, violence

Genre: Fluff and slight angst

This party was a horrible idea. You knew it. Amanda knew it. Charlie knew it, but yet they still dragged you along with them. Fucking friends right?

“Guys I don’t know if I can do this.” You mumbled under your breath, looking the body sized mirror fixing your hair for the thousandth time.

“y/n, we have been over this ten times. It’s just a small get together with a few people. They’re gonna have some beer maybe some cake, movies, that’s literally it.” Amanda said applying some last touches to her lipstick.

“Yeah you have nothing to worry about babe.” Charlie plotted herself down on your bed.

“Yeah except Charlie’s gonna be sticking her tongue down Justin’s throat tonight.” Amanda laughed into the mirror. Charlie scoffed throwing your pillow at her. “I am NOT”

“Charlieeeee, weee knoowww youuu likeee himm!” You sang.

“You guys are delusional, I don’t even know what you are talking about. I don’t have a thing for Justin,” she paused “right y/n?” She looked up at you.

“Yeah ‘small get together’ my fucking ass Amanda.” You said pulling up to the frat house. “Okay, but, I knew you guys weren’t gonna come if I said Andrew invited me.” “ANDREW INVITED YOU!” Charlie and you practically screamed at the same time.

“Andrew as in Shawn’s best friend, Andrew?”

“No, as in Justin Bieber’s best friend .” She scoffed getting out of her mom’s minivan. “You seriously need to get over your fear of him.”

“It’s not a fear.” You said defending yourself, as the three of you made your way up the brick stones. “I’d call it more of a, slight precaution. And I have Alex, he said if Shawn gives me shit, to tell him and he’ll take care of it.” You said

“Oh yeah, of course, how could I forget about your lame ass boyfriend.” Charlie scoffed rolling her eyes. “You seriously need to dump that guy he’s such a dick.”

The door opened as boobs bethany opened the door. “Oh my god! You guys made it! Come in! Come in!”

Walking past her and into the crowded living room was a challenge itself ‘don’t look at the boobs, don’t do it y/n’ you had to repeat it to yourself, because, well, she wasn’t called boobs Bethany for nothing.

“The drinks are in there,” she said pointing towards the kitchen behind the swinging wooden door. “And the rEALLY hot guys are out there.” She said pointing to the backyard, to the pool.

“Oh my god! There’s Justin!” Charlie said just as fast as she walked away.

“Do you want me to go get drinks?” I yelled into Charlie’s ear.

“Yeah! Make sure to poor some alcohol for me. I’m feeling dumb tonight!” She yelled back walking towards the back door.

Pushing into the kitchen you saw the line of different alcohol bottles. And the punch….never drink the punch. Grabbing two red solo cups you opted for half vodka and sprite for Amanda and…. Dr.Pepper for you. No way in hell was anyone gonna make you drink.

“Do you need help there love.” A chin rested on your shoulder, looking over you realised it was Alex.

“Hey babe!.” You smiled back. “The famous y/n comes to a party wooow, you’d never do that for me.”

Your smile altered. “Yeah? I guess it wasn’t for you.”

He laughed looking away then turning his attention back to you. “Who was it for then?”

“Me.” You simply stated. He bursted out laughing.”You? Babe come on this isn’t your crowd. You belong home with a book and hot chocolate.” He said wiping his mouth off.

“Right, because that’s all women are good for, right? Wow you are such a dick. Let me know when you think higher of how amazing women are, then higher of what is in between their legs.” You walked away, to find Amanda. Alex was a good guy when he wanted to be, treated you well, liked you a lot, but he was never that push you needed. And especially never the guy you picture yourself with.

“Hey love, you okay?” Amanda said, her smile altering as you handing her drink over.

Your head snapped up. “What? Yeah? No, i’m good, drunk guys are just assholes.” You said slightly mumbling the last part under your breath.

“Okay! Good! So y/n, this is Andrew.” She said. You reached your hand out shaking his, while looking up, he was pretty handsome, scrawny but muscular, and gorgeous locks on his head.

“It’s really nice to meet you, Amanda talks a lot about you!” You smiled “Good things I hope!”

“All good.” He smiled back at you before moving to the side, my view landed on the person I was hoping to avoid. Shawn. “And this is my buddy shawn.”

With the most annoying smirk on his face he reached his hand over.

“I’m Shawn, sorry didn’t catch the name, you are?” “y/n, my name is y/n.”

“Hey Andrew do you wanna come out to my car real quick so you can grab that shirt?” Amanda said breaking the awkward tension between the four of you.

As she slowly turned around (not before she sent you a wink of course) Andrew pointed a finger at Shawn and under his breath mumbled a quick “be good”. Shawn, being well, shawn, raised his hands in defense. “I always am, aren’t I?” Andrew let out a low chuckle and walked away.

“So, bug, how have you been?” He said, his smirk ripping back onto his face.

“Pretty good, no thanks to you.” You stated looking down to your feet. His cold hand lifted your chin back up. “You mean no thanks to that piece of shit boyfriend of yours.”

You were exhausted. You had known Shawn for about four months now and every time you talked he brought up your “no good boyfriend” or “your micro-penis of a douchebag”. It was getting annoying, fighting him, defending Alex.

“Yeah, I guess whatever.” You mumbled ripping your chin away.

“Wow, so no ‘you don’t even know him Shawn’ and oh my favorite ‘you bring this up every conversation’”

“No, I guess I’m just not feeling down to let boys walk on me tonight.” You said finally looking up at him, when his eyes turned deadly. “Who.” You sighed, taking a step back. “Shawn, please don’t start this tonight, I--”

“BABYYYY!” You shut your eyes. Alex was drunk. Again.

“YYYY/NNN!! BABBEEEE COMEEERRRE”. You looked at Shawn when suddenly a heavy arm came over your shoulder. “Heyyy babe, i missed youuuu, after you got mad at me I had to find Ella. You weren’t giving me attention what was I supposed to do?” You ripped his arm off of your shoulder. That name, that name was never good. “Ella?” You questioned pushing him back slightly. She was known as the highschool hook-up, could take on any guy, as if it was a challenge.

“Yeah! Ella you know, my usual hook-up? No I mean, my hook-up when you are being a little bitch.” He was drunk off of his ass. But there was no way in hell you were letting a piece of shit talk to you that way. You looked at Shawn and he slowly raised his fist but before he landed on his target, you did it for him.

You punched Alex, square in the way. He looked surprised,like you had caught him off guard, when you punched him again, and again, and again, before you felt someone lift you off of him. All you could was red, your chest raising up and down as you failed to catch your breath. “We’re over Alex! You can go fuck yourself, no better yet go fuck that piece of-” you were cut off by Shawn turning you around in his arms and pressing your face into his chest. “Stay the fuck away or next time I won’t pull her off of you, I’ll be the one you want pulled off of you.” His voice was deep, and demanding like a sergeant giving orders.

It wasn’t until you and Shawn were in front of the house could you feel the tears dripping off of your face. You felt angry, and betrayed, not because Alex was cheating, but because you had defended him, time, after time, after time and you had started to believe your own lies. That he was truly a good guy.

“Oh bug.” Shawn whispered pulling you back into his arms. “Im sorry--I---I--- should have listened you but----” you choked on your words. “Shhhh, it’s okay. I forgive you.” He kissed the top of your head slightly nuzzling his nose into your hair.

“Lets walk home yeah?”

You looked up at him slowly nodding your head and wiping your nose off, but before you could walk away you heard slight shuffling of feet. Looking to your left, Amanda and Andrew were making out. You let out a chuckle, tugging at Shawns hoodie pointing towards them. He looked over laughing slightly, shaking his head, while he tugged at the roots of his brown curly hair.

“You think you’ll ever cut it short again?” He looked at you with crazy eyes, as he started following you to your house.

“What? My hair?” You nodded. “What’s wrong with my hair? You don’t like it bug?” He inquired with curious. Looking down at you.

“No, I was gonna say I like your hair like this, suits you.”

“Oh yeah? Well I don’t know if I can call you bug anymore. You certainly weren’t afraid of hitting that jack-ass. I think you need a nickname more, more, what’s the word?” He stopped in his tracks, snapping his finger at you. “Feisty!”

“Oh really?” You smiled.

“Yeah, maybe something like lioness? No that’s lame. Ummmm” You looked up at him like long slender fingers were playing with his lip when he looked busy at thinking. It was actually quite adorable.

“Bee!” He whole face lit up as he laughed to himself. “Get it? Because you are tiny and cute, but when you sting it hurts like a bitchh.” He looked down at you. “But I can teach you how to hit harder, the pressure points of where to hit.” He reached down grabbing your already bruising knuckles. As you stopped in front of your front door. “Teach you what part of the hand to hit with.” He raised your knuckles to his lips. Slightly kissed the raw skin, until he hit a cut, you hissed pulling your hand back.

“Next time, let me beat his face in. Yeah? I don’t like seeing you get hurt? I’m supposed to be the dangerous one, remember?”

“Yeah, I’ll give you the next one Mendes. But I’m holding you to teaching me-”

“Yeah, yeah okay bee.” He pulled you into a hug. “I’ll sneak into your room tomorrow. You better behave until then.” You pulled away looking at his worried eyes, punching his shoulder.

“I always do.” You said in a deep voice.

“Are you mocking me? Oh that’s it.” He pulled your waist into him, digging his fingers into your stomach. You burst out laughing. “Oh my! And she’s ticklish too!”

masterlist- seriously so much bad boy shawn is coming

#shawn mendes #shawn mendes angst #shawn mendes imagines #shawn mendes imagine #bad boy

219 notes · View notes

im-writing-out-of-time · 7 years

Text

Baby Steps- Chapter 1

This is part one of who-the-fuck-knows-how-many parts. The original request came from forever ago and its in my @im-still-writing-out-of-time inbox and I’m too lazy to go find it but the basis of it was ‘Hamliza, living in a studio apartment, struggling, Eliza finds out she’s pregnant.’ So enjoy.

Warnings: I don’t really think there are trigger warnings, but sex is mentioned, obviously, and it goes through an ob/gyn appointment in pretty decent detail. But it also talks about how to properly give yourself a breast exam, so you probably shouldn’t skip it.

Masterlist

Alexander sat at the desk, his head in his hands. “Eliza, I don’t know how we’re gonna make it this month. I really don’t.”

He was surrounded by a pile of papers- bills, receipts, the “things that need fixing” list, his works in progress that no one wanted.

Eliza walked to him and leaned down, wrapping her arms around his neck. “We’ll make it, Alexander. We always do.” She brushed a light kiss against his cheek before grabbing his hands and pulling him to a stand. “Come. You need a shower or something to relax.”

“Eliza-”

“Come, Alexander. You need to relax.” She pulled him to the tiny bathroom just down the hall. It was just big enough for a full size shower/tub combination, a sink, and a toilet. There was no room to move around in, but they made it work. She pushed him in the bathroom and walked back down the hall to grab a couple of washcloths and towels.

Eliza looked at the box of pads in the cupboard and frowned. How long had it been since…? Three months? It had been at least three months since she got her last period. Eliza walked back to the bathroom where Alexander was filling the tub in his boxers.

“Hey, I found this bath bomb under the sink. Wanna use it?” It had been a gift from her sisters from their wedding. There was an entire box of them under her bed, but she always kept one under the bathroom sink for easy access.

“Sure,” she smiled. “I figured you would have chosen to take a shower instead.”

“Why? Do you want to shower instead?”

“No.” She smiled softly. “You just surprised me. Usually you jump for quickest and most efficient.” She leaned down to where he was squatting by the tub and rubbed his shoulders. “You’re always so tense,” she whispered.

“I know, Betsey. I’m sorry. I just don’t know how we’re gonna make it through this month. Once we pay bills and insurance and everything, we’ll barely have enough for groceries if we get the bare minimum. I just-” His voice broke. “I don’t know how we’ll do it.”

Eliza knew better than suggesting borrowing money from her father- her father would refuse any money in return, but Alexander was too proud for a handout. The last time she had suggested it, they had a huge fight that ended with Alexander running out and spending the night at Hercules’s house.

“Just like we always do. Someone will buy your writings, darling. They will. Just like someone will pay for my commissions eventually. We just have to be patient.” Eliza stood back up and peeled off her clothes, climbing in the tub beside Alexander as he turned off the water. She grabbed the bath bomb from beside the tub and lowered it into the water slowly. She was sitting on Alexander’s lap, leaning back on his shoulder as the bath bomb turned the water a glittering gold.

“This bath bomb looks so pretentious.”

“Oh just shut up and enjoy it,” Eliza teased, turning her head to meet Alexander’s cheek. Her head was spinning with the thoughts of three missed periods. It had to just be stress. That was probably it. Right?

“I can hear you thinking,” Alexander whispered against her ear as his hands swirled through the glittering water. “What’s going on in that pretty little mind of yours?”

“Just thinking,” she sighed. Alexander was stressed enough. She didn’t need to inform him of something that was only a possibility at this point. Especially since a baby on top of everything else would only stress him more. “I’m thinking about inviting Angelica and Peggy over one of these days. What do you think about going to visit the guys for a while?”

“Today maybe? You’re right. I gotta take a break or I’m gonna fucking snap. I’ll text the guys and you can call the girls or something?”

“Mmm,” Eliza hummed, leaning back against Alexander. “Maybe. I’ll have to see what they’re doing today. But for now,” she paused. “For now we relax and cuddle.” Eliza couldn’t believe her luck. She hadn’t been expecting Alexander to agree so easily. “I bet they’ll be up for a girls day.”

The couple sat in comfortable silence until Eliza sat up slowly. “What’s wrong Betsey?”

“Nothing. Lemme wash your hair.” They shifted awkwardly in the tub until Eliza was sitting behind Alexander. She lathered up the shampoo between her hands and began to massage it through Alexander’s hair. The sudsy bubbles began to run down the side of his face and Eliza’s hands moved to scoop the suds back behind his hairline.

“Thank you ‘Liza,” he whispered as she began using the bath water to rinse his hair.

“You’re welcome. Now hand me the conditioner, glitter hair,” she teased, reaching her hand out for the green bottle. She spread the conditioner through his hair and tied it in a bun to the top of his head. “Do you ever condition your hair?”

“Do I really need to?” He scoffed.

“Well you don’t need to. But it makes your hair softer.”

Eliza stretched out her legs and wrapped them around Alexander’s waist. He leaned back on her chest, and she winced in pain. When the fuck did her breasts start hurting?

She lifted her arms and pulled the hair tie out of Alexander’s dark waves, before she grabbed the cup from the floor beside the tub and rinsed the conditioner from his hair. The glitter sparkled throughout his thick wavy locks and water ran down his back, soap and golden glitter dancing around on his skin.

“You’re so good to me, Betsey, you know that?” Alexander awkwardly shuffled his body so he was facing Eliza, staring into her dark eyes. He leaned back and pulled the plug from the water, pausing to set the plug on the lip of the tub. “I mean it. You left a life of luxury for me, and now we’re barely making it, barely scraping by each month, and yet you stay. You stay with me through thick and thin, and I couldn’t ask for a better wife than you. I love you, Eliza, with every fiber of my being.” His eyes had started to well with tears. “I’m so glad you’re mine.”

“Someone’s emotional today,” Eliza teased, leaning in to kiss Alexander. Their lips met in the middle, in a slow, sweet, passionate kiss. “I love you too, Alexander. No matter what happens, I’ll always love you.”

Alexander stood up and squeezed the excess water from his hair. “Do I have to leave covered in glitter like this? The guys will never let me live it down.”

Eliza pouted as she stood up. “I think you look fine. I like it.”

Alexander grumbled and rolled his eyes, smirking as he grabbed the towel from the counter and dried off. “Why’d you get washcloths if we didn’t even use them?”

Eliza shrugged as she sat back down in the tub, swirling the water around in her hands. “I thought we might so I grabbed them in case.”

Alexander nodded and walked out of the room to get dressed. Eliza’s hands pushed the glitter around the tub until Alexander walked back in, fully dressed. “I texted the guys and we’re gonna go hang out at John’s. Are you gonna be okay alone until the girls get here?”

“I’m a big girl, Alexander,” she teased. “I’ll be fine.”

“Well, I ask because I care. And because I worry about you sometimes,” he smiled back sweetly. “I love you.”

“I love you too Alex. Now go have fun with the guys.”

He rushed in the bathroom and pressed a kiss to her cheek. “I’ll try babe. You too.”

She smiled until she heard the front door slam shut. The smile immediately fell from her face and she lunged from the tub, wrapping a towel around her. She paced around with her phone in her hand, terrified to call her sisters. She jumped, dropping the phone as it rang in her hand, her sister’s face showing up.

“Hi!” She squeaked, still surprised. “I was just about to call you.”

Angelica had FaceTimed her. Her sister’s face was shining at her through the screen, a smile adorning her features. “Great minds think alike, Eliza, you know that. So what’s going on? You look stressed.”

Eliza smiled sadly at her sister as she sat on her bed, towel still wrapped around her. “Just another month of I-don’t-know-if-we’re-gonna-make-it. Plus it was just brought to my attention by the full box of pads in the cupboard that I’ve missed three periods and I have to take a pregnancy test, and if it comes out positive what am I going to do Angelica? Alexander won’t let me get money from daddy to tide us over, what would we do with a baby? I can’t tell him, but I needed someone to talk to. Do you think you and Peggy could come over?”

Angelica’s eyes fill with pity. “Oh, Eliza. I didn’t know it was that bad. You know I’m willing to help you guys out if you need it.”

“I know Ange. But Alexander is too proud. Could you pick me up a test from the store on the way over? Please?”

“Yeah, of course. I’ll grab Peggy and fill her in and we’ll be right over. I love you E. We’ll see you in a bit.”

“I love you too, Ange,” she said as her sister kissed at the screen. She blew a kiss back and the screen went blank as Angelica hung up.

Eliza set the phone on the bed and walked to the dresser, shucking the towel to the floor. She pulled on a pair of underwear and slipped a t-shirt on over her head. She looked down at her stomach; was it really a little rounder than usual or was she just bloating? Maybe she was just imagining it because she was worried. Yeah. That was it.

A knock sounded through the apartment and her head bolted up. She padded barefoot through the apartment and looked through the peephole in the door. She opened the door wide, her sister’s arms opening to embrace her. She rushed into them immediately and buried her head in Angelica’s shoulder.

“What am I gonna do, Ange?” She whispered, tears welling in her eyes.

Angelica stepped back, holding her sister by the shoulders at arms length. “You’re going to take the tests before you get all worked up, okay? If you’re not pregnant, there’s no need to worry.”

“But what if I am?”

Peggy reached forward and wiped the tears from Eliza’s cheeks. “Then you’ve got us by your side. We’re always here for you, ‘Liza. You know that.”

Eliza stepped back and wiped at the residual tears on her face and nodded. She grabbed the grocery bag that Peggy held out to her and stared at it for a moment. “What do I do?”

“You pee on them, Eliza,” Peggy said slowly.

Eliza sniffled and laughed. “I know that, dummy!” She said. “But I don’t have to pee.”

“Just go try. Maybe pee in a cup and try it like that? Do you have an old medicine cup or something?”

“I’ll just grab a cup from the cupboard,” Eliza said. “It’s not like we don’t use hot water to clean them. It’ll be fine.” She grabbed a small glass and disappeared into the bathroom while her sisters took post on the living room couch.

“Wanna place bets?” Peggy asked, nudging the eldest sister.

“Peggy,” she whisper-yelled. “We can’t place bets on our own sister.”

“I bet she’s pregnant. And if she is, I bet it’s a boy.”

“Ten bucks for each bet, twenty total,” Angelica said, shaking on it. “But we don’t tell Eliza.”

“Tell Eliza what?” Eliza questioned as she walked up behind them.

“Well Eliza, obviously we weren’t going to tell you. Why would we now?” Peggy grinned.

Eliza plopped down on the couch between them. “You guys suck,” she said. “The tests are started and the timer is running. Countdown has two and a half minutes left.” She clicked her phone off and set it on her lap. Eliza’s leg was bouncing in anticipation, anxious to know the answer of the tests. Her sisters were talking over her body, but she wasn’t listening. She was waiting for the buzz of her phone, the little ding signaling the end of the three minutes.

The second the alarm sounded, she shot out of her seat and ran to the bathroom, her bare feet slapping against the floor. Her hand was surprisingly stable as she held the first white stick in her hand. Positive. She glanced at the other two and saw the results; two parallel lines on each. She smiled at the results, knowing she was secretly pleased. She collected all three tests and walked to the living room.

“So what’s the results, ‘Liza?”

“Aunt Ange and Aunt Peggy,” she said, holding up a single test.

Both women screamed and launched themselves off the couch, tackling their sister in a hug.

“Oh my god, really?” Squealed Angelica.

“Yeah,” she breathed, still in disbelief. “Yeah, really.” Her arms wrapped back around her sisters, the tests held tight in her fist. “What am I going to do now?”

“We can bring you to the doctor and see if they can fit you in for an appointment.”

“Yeah, we can try. Should I call first?”

“I mean, if you want to. I would just walk in though,” shrugged Peggy.

“Okay,” said Eliza. “Let me go put on some pants first and then we’ll head out.” She moved back to her bedroom, the wheels in her head reeling as she pulled on a pair of jeans. Now that she was paying attention to it, they did fit a bit different than they had when she bought them. They weren’t tight yet, but they curved lower on her abdomen than they usually did. She yanked the hem of her t-shirt back down and slipped on a pair of flats from under the bed.

She grabbed her purse from the counter and slipped the pregnancy tests in before running to the bathroom and grabbing the unused box and hiding that in her purse as well. Angelica and Peggy were waiting by the door, keys in hand, watching Eliza bustle around the small apartment. She ripped a sheet of paper out of a random notebook and scribbled on it, leaving it next to the door- a note for Alexander presumably.

“I’m ready,” she said, grabbing her keys from the hook. The girls locked arms and walked down the hall to the tiny stairwell. They unlocked arms to snake down the stairs and immediately locked them once more as they walked to the car.

Peggy lunged towards the back of the car, releasing Eliza’s arm. “Dibs on the back seat.”

Eliza laughed at her sister’s antics. “I’m pretty sure you’re the only one who actually wants the back seat.”

“I can lay down back here,” she grinned, spreading herself across the seat, tucking a blanket under her head. “Angelica, I don’t know why you have a blanket back here but thanks. It makes an awesome pillow.”

Angelica chuckled slightly, a devious smirk spreading over her face. “No problem, Pegs.” Her sister didn’t need to know that her and John have sex on that blanket during their picnics. “Glad I could help you out.”

The drive to the OB/gyn office was nearly silent, the only noise coming from Angelica, humming as she drive through town. She pulled in and put the car in gear, turning to look her sister in the eyes. “Do you want us to go in with you?”

“I think I can do it,” she said. “But I’ll call you if I need you, okay?”

She exited the car and moved towards the office doors. Her heart was pounding in her chest and she shivered as the air conditioner brushed over her bare skin. Goosebumps raised on her arms as she stood behind the glass window for the receptionists’ desk.

The woman slid open the window and smiled at her. “Hello, who is your appointment with today?”

“Um, actually, I don’t have an appointment but I was wondering if I could schedule one, or if there was any chance I could be squeezed in today.”

The woman glanced at her computer screen, her fingers clacking against the keyboard. She clicked her tongue against the roof of her mouth as she searched through the schedule. “I have an open appointment in an hour, but if you wait here, she might be able to fit you in here earlier than that.”

“That sounds good. Thank you.”

“Okay, name?”

“Elizabeth Hamilton.” Eliza went through the list and answered all the woman’s questions. Date of birth, address, insurance, phone numbers… reason for today’s visit. That was a little awkward to explain to the receptionist, especially with the glances to her apparently obvious rounded figure. Was it that obvious to everyone else? Were her and Alexander just completely ignorant?

“Alright, Mrs Hamilton, the doctor will be with you as soon as possible. Thank you for waiting.”

Eliza smiled kindly at the receptionist and pulled out her phone to text her sisters to keep them updated. The small tv attached to the ceiling was showing the news. A woman on the other side of the waiting room had a car seat at her feet, a yellow blanket protruding slightly. Eliza was staring, trying to catch a glimpse of the baby. The car seat turned towards her and she blushed, knowing she was caught. “Sorry,” she said.

“No, it’s okay. You can come closer.” Eliza moved over a few seats over to get a good look at the baby.

“He’s beautiful,” she murmured.

“Thank you,” the woman smiled. “I think so too.” There was a comfortable silence as both women stared at the sleeping infant. “How far along are you?”

“I don’t know,” Eliza admitted. “Life has been so stressful lately that I didn’t even realize I was at least three months late until earlier this morning. So at least that long. It was sometime just before my sister’s wedding.”

“So you haven’t had many symptoms then?”

“No, I guess not. The ones I have had I just wrote off as something else I guess. But this morning, my husband was stressing over financial issues and I forced him to take a bath. That’s when I noticed the full pad box in the cupboard. Then I noticed my breasts hurt, and then I realized I’ve been extra tired lately. But I’ve only thrown up a few times these last few months and Alexander had been throwing up too, so I assumed it was food poisoning.”

The woman chuckled slightly. “Damn, you got it easy. I was throwing up even before I got a positive test and I didn’t stop until about a six hours after I had him.”

Eliza paled. “Oh god, I don’t think I would survive.”

The comfortable silence returned once more as they looked at the rise and fall of the baby’s chest, tiny snores escaping his mouth.

“Do you want a boy or girl?”

“I don’t really know. Alexander and I never really talked about having kids any time soon. I’d like a girl, but I think it’s a boy. Mother’s intuition I guess,” Eliza said smiling.

“Now don’t joke about mother’s intuition, it’s a real thing.”

Eliza smiled back. “I think Alex would like a boy. I just want a healthy baby.”

“Now where is your husband?”

Eliza sighed. “He winds himself up so tight worrying about things, and working, and he writes nonstop, so this morning I made him take a break to de-stress and now he’s out with some of the guys. I don’t know how I’m going to tell him about having a baby though. He thinks we’ll have barely enough money for groceries this month, let alone have enough left over for a baby. And he’s too proud to take money from daddy, because he thinks it’s a handout. He’s very stubborn, Alexander is.”

“Well what does-”

She was cut off as one of the nurses called her name from the doorway.

“That’s me, I’m sorry.” She picked up her bags and the car seat and walked to the door. “I hope it all works out well for you.”

“Thank you,” Eliza trailed off as the woman disappeared around the corner, the door falling closed behind her. She sat back in her original seat and stared at the posters on the wall. Many of them were support groups for new moms; single moms, breastfeeding moms, just moms in general, and many more. There was one poster that was almost entirely covered up by the posters surrounding it, and she stood up to move the posters out of the way.

Painter wanted

Must be able to paint large mural (9’ x 28’)

Paints and mural design will be provided

Please ask receptionist for any further details

She pulled the tack out from the poster and stuck it back in the bulletin board, the paper in her hand. “Excuse me,” she said to the receptionist. “I saw your poster up on the wall. Do you still need someone for the job? I’m a painter.”

The receptionist’s face brightened. “Yes absolutely! We want someone to paint the waiting room wall right here. Let me be right around and I’ll explain what they want.” She got up from her desk and disappeared, only to come through the side door a matter of minutes later. “Okay,” she said, gesturing at the empty wall surrounding the window. “This is what they want painted. They had someone draw a mock-up, but apparently they’re more of a small scale colored pencil artist. Which, don’t get me wrong, that’s awesome, but not exactly what we need for a wall that’s almost thirty feet.” She held up a piece of paper with the design on it and set it on the receptionist counter. “This is what they want.”

It was a beautiful piece of work. It was an ocean scene, wildlife swimming through different parts of the piece; turtles, fish, an octopus. It was calm and serene, and right in Eliza’s painting capabilities. “I could absolutely do this.”

“Well we have a decent budget set aside, how much do you charge?”

“I usually charge about fifteen dollars per square foot but I’m flexible.”

The receptionist smiled again- she was either a very chipper person, or she had a really good customer service smile. “We have $5000 set aside. I think it ends up being a little over nineteen a square foot. We have the paints and brushes and everything, but we’d need your time. Is it something you’re interested in?”

“Yes! Absolutely. I’d love to work on it.”

“Awesome, now I don’t get final say, but if you have some examples of your work, the doctor would love to see them.”

“I’ve got some on my phone. I could-”

“Eliza Hamilton?” A nurse poked her hand out the side door.

“That’s me. I’m sorry. I’ll be back to talk after.”

The receptionist followed Eliza through the door. “No need. I’ll tell the doctor to talk to you before you leave.”

The nurse led Eliza to a room. “You can set your stuff down in here and I’ll take your weight and blood pressure and then I’ll send you to the bathroom for a urine sample, okay?”

Eliza set her purse down on the small chair in the corner of the room and sat on the very edge of it. The blood pressure cuff wrapped around her arm and the whirring of the machine filled the room. The machine released her arm and the nurse removed the band. “122/76. That’s almost perfect. Alright, get up and we’ll get a weight and a urine sample.”

Eliza followed the nurse out of the room and down the hall to the scale where she stepped up. She watched the nurse move the small weight across. And then across more. And more.

“147. How much were you pre-pregnancy?”

“Uh, I weighed about 121 a few months ago but my doctor was trying to get me to gain weight.” It made Eliza uncomfortable that everyone kept telling her she was definitely pregnant. Did she really look that obviously pregnant?

“Okay, when was that?”

“I think February?”

“Alright you’ve gained quite a bit but I think that puts you in the perfect weight zone currently. How far along are you?”

Eliza stepped off the scale. “Uh, I don’t know. I only took the test this morning. Maybe three months?”

“Alright, the doctor will probably send you out for a sonogram just to make sure everything is okay with the baby. Don’t worry, it’s just routine,” she said at Eliza’s wide-eyed reaction. “But you’ll also get a reading on how far along you are.” She held up a plastic cup. “Okay, so you’re going to get a urine sample, cap it tight, put it behind the little door in there, and the doctor will meet you back in your room. Okay?”

“Okay,” replied Eliza, grabbing the cup.

She locked herself in the bathroom and stared at the cup. She just went pee at home. She didn’t even have to go then either. She shrugged and pulled down her pants, sitting on the cold toilet seat. Somewhere from the recesses of her bladder, she managed to get a sample in the cup. She crinkled her nose as she tightened the cap and set it inside the tiny door on the wall.

She stood up, the toilet flushing automatically behind her. “Holy shhh-” she trailed as she pulled up her pants and adjusted her clothes. She looked in the mirror as she washed her hands. How was she supposed to tell Alexander about this?

She went to the room and sat on the edge of the exam bed, her heart pounding in her chest. She could hear people walking outside the door as well as the woman in the next room. A knock sounded on the door to her room and she sat up straight on the bed. The doctor peeked her head in and smiled.

“Mrs Hamilton? Hi, I’m Dr Reynolds. How are you doing today?”

Eliza smiled back nervously. “I’m doing well, thank you.”

“Alright, Mrs Hamilton, so it says here that you’ve come in to confirm a pregnancy?”

Eliza nodded. “Yeah. I think it’s less of a confirmation now that everyone makes me feel huge. I feel stupid, almost, for taking so long to realize that I’ve missed my period.”

“Okay, so how long has it been?”

“It’s been at least three months since my last period. I don’t have an exact date but I could look at a calendar and figure it out. It started the Wednesday before my sister’s wedding back in April.”

“Okay, so we ran your urine test for an hCg sample, and it came back positive, so you definitely are pregnant. Congratulations.” Dr Reynolds smiled again. “That means that today, I’m going to feel your stomach and measure the baby. Looking at your stomach, and taking in your last menstrual cycle into account, I’m going to assume that you’re far enough along to feel the baby. Based on your last period, I’m going to guess that you’re due sometime around early February. Then, I’m going to take some vaginal and cervical swabs to test for any STIs. It’s purely routine. And after that I’ll send you for a sonogram so we can get a better estimate at how far along you are. Okay?”

Eliza nodded again, feeling overwhelmed at all the information in her head.

The doctor stood up and got a gown and sheet from the cupboard on the wall. “Okay, so I’m going to go back out for a few minutes. I’ll leave this gown with you. I need you to completely strip. The tie goes in the back, but there’s really no sense in tying it since I’ll need to do a breast exam while you’re here. The sheet will keep you covered while I move your gown around, that way you’re not completely exposed. So here’s these,” she said handing over the thin fabrics. “And I’ll be back in a few.” She pulled the door shut with a click behind her and Eliza stood up from the bed and shucked off her shoes.

She stripped off her jeans and set them on the chair, folding them as she moved. She pulled the t-shirt over her head and added that to the jeans on the chair. She grabbed the gown and pulled it up her arms, wrapping it around her. She pushed her underwear to her ankles and stepped out of it, folding it and hiding it under the t-shirt. She pulled the gown around her tight as she could before hopping up on the bed and sitting down.

The silence was deafening as she looked around the room. She was sure to focus on her breathing as the situation suddenly just became so much more real. She was feeling anxious the longer she was left alone and she was waiting for the gentle knock on the door.

The moment she heard knuckles on the door, she breathed a sigh of relief. “Are you decent?”

“As decent as I can be in this gown,” joked Eliza.

Dr Reynolds walked in, her dark curls bouncing around her face. “I completely understand that,” she laughed. The nurse walked in behind her, grabbing gloves from the box on the counter. “So Miss Allison is here to hand me the swabs, and then she’ll leave and it’ll be just you and me for the rest of it, okay? So there’s no need to be so tense.”

Eliza smiled nervously and nodded her head. The doctor’s demeanor was putting her at ease little by little.

“Alright, I’m gonna need you to lay down,” she said, her hand on Eliza’s back to help her back.

Eliza laid back, her feet lifting to rest on the footrest Dr Reynolds had pulled out. Her back was curving at an odd angle, but she stayed quiet, shuffling in place. A sheet was placed over her waist as her gown was pulled up slightly.

“Okay, so I want you to put your ankles together, and let your knees fall apart. I’m gonna take a couple swabs.” The nurse held out the swabs, along with the empty container to seal the samples in and Eliza stared at the ceiling, waiting for it to be done. The snap of the q-tip handle sounded as Dr Reynolds put the sample in the container and the nurse took the lube and squeezed a dollop onto the doctor’s gloves before she left the room, samples in tow. “Okay, so now I’m just going to feel your cervix, and make sure it’s not dilated, and if it hurts at all, I want you to tell me.”

The doctor spread Eliza’s legs slightly and Eliza looked everywhere but the doctor.

“Does this hurt?”

Eliza shook her head. It wasn’t the most comfortable thing, but it didn’t hurt. The doctor stepped back up and pulled the sheet completely down past Eliza’s knees. She pulled off her gloves and grabbed a new pair, tossing the old pair in the garbage.

“In all reality, I should have done the breast exam first, but Allison is going on break and I didn’t think you wanted your first appointment here to have everyone seeing everything.” She pulled the top of Eliza’s gown back. “Okay, have you ever had a breast exam?”

“This is my first time being to an OB/gyn at all, so no. My primary care doctor doesn’t do that, and I’ve never been taught to do it myself.”

“What you’re gonna do,” she said, holding up two fingers. “Once a month, you’re going to start at your nipple and press using small circles until you feel your entire breast. You’ll feel things that feel like the squishy part of your finger, that’s normal. Those are milk ducts. They’ll get a little bit harder as you start coming into your milk, but you should never feel any hard lumps, that feel like the back of your fingers, the boney part. If you do, come in immediately. So, once a month, do a self breast exam.” She eased Eliza’s arm out of the gown and lifted the arm above her head. “Make sure your arm is above your head, okay? Because the breast tissue goes all the way up under your armpit.”

She moved to Eliza’s other side and finished the breast exam, easing Eliza’s arms back into the sleeves. “All good. So now I’m going to measure your uterus. I’ll just take a measuring tape and hold it against your stomach, and then I’ll get you an appointment for a sonogram today and we’ll be all done here after I check the baby’s heartbeat.”

She moved to the cupboard and rummaged through, grabbing a folded up paper tape measure. She held one end directly on Eliza’s pubic bone, her other hand slowly pressing into her stomach, moving up.

“Okay, so the top of your uterus is right here,” she said, pressing into Eliza’s stomach. “It’s just above your belly button. Do you wanna feel?”

Eliza’s hand moved down to press into her stomach. “And that’s my baby in there?”

“That’s your baby,” she replied smiling. “And-” She places the tape measure right where her fingers had left. “According to this measurement, you’re somewhere around eighteen weeks along.” She tossed the tape measure in the garbage and turned back to the table, fetal heart monitor in hand. She moved the sheet back over Eliza’s waist, lifting the gown once she was properly covered. The doctor grabbed a bottle of lube and squeezed it onto the wand before pressing it against Eliza’s abdomen.

There was a swishing noise that filled the room, empty static that shifted as the wand moved across her stomach before a quick pattering flooded from the speakers. Eliza’s eyes grew wide, a smile shining on her face as she realized that she was hearing her baby’s heartbeat. “Oh my god, there’s really a baby in there.” She wiped at the tears that were welling in her eyes. “Can I record this on my phone?”

“Yeah, absolutely.”

Eliza turned and reached for her phone sitting on the chair before moving back. She opened the voice memos and began recording as Dr Reynolds found the heartbeat again. The sound of the heart beating filled the room as Eliza continued recording.

“The baby’s heart rate is 146. That’s right in the correct range.” She removed the heart monitor and clicked it off, the room becoming quiet again.

“Wow,” breathed Eliza as she turned her phone off. She grabbed the paper towel the doctor offered her and wiped the gel off her stomach.

The doctor held the heart monitor in one hand and grabbed Eliza’s hands with the other to help her sit up. “What I’m going to do now is write you a prescription for prenatal pills. You can either use those, which I recommend, or you can go to the store and get some over the counter prenatal pills. But you need to start taking them right away.” She grabbed the laptop from the counter and looked at the notes the nurse had left. “Okay, so I’m going to see what time they can get you in for a sonogram at the hospital.”

Eliza stared down at her stomach. There was really a baby in there.

“It seems like they can fit you in today around 3:30. Does that work for you?”

“Yeah, that’s perfect. I’m having a girl’s day with my sisters, so I’ll probably be in town until they decide they’re done with me,” she joked.

Dr Reynolds smiled. “Alright, so I’ll book an appointment for you. Now you’ve got time to go out, get something to eat, do a little shopping. One thing that they recommend for the ultrasound is having a full bladder. It can help make it easier to see the baby and get a clearer picture. So drink lots of water, which you should be doing anyway.” She stood up. “I’ll see you back here in a month. You can get your clothes back on and make an appointment with the front desk. Have a great day, Mrs Hamilton.”

Eliza changed back into her clothes fairly quickly and walked out to the receptionist’s desk. “I need an appointment for one month.”

The receptionist started clicking her nails against the keyboard while the receptionist that signed her in cane over. “Did you talk to the doctor about doing the mural?”

“Uh, no, it didn’t really come up. I was too busy being in disbelief that there actually is a baby in there.”

The receptionist laughed and waved Dr Reynolds back over. “Mrs Hamilton here said she’s a painter and expressed interest in painting the waiting room mural.”

“Call me Eliza, please.”

Dr Reynolds smiled. “Then call me Maria. Do you have any examples of your work I could look at?”

Eliza opened her phone and searched through her Facebook. “I put most of my projects on Facebook, so I should be able to- Oh here they are.” She handed her phone over to the doctor. “I haven’t done any large scale projects in a couple months but these are a few I did for last Christmas.”

“Eliza, these are phenomenal. Are you seriously interested in the waiting room mural?”

“Yeah, absolutely. I saw the concept art and the idea is gorgeous. I’d love to do it. It would probably only take me a couple weeks if you’ve already got the supplies and the mock-up.”

Maria handed the phone back to Eliza. “I think your work is beautiful, and you couldn’t have come at a better time. The office will be closed next week and the week after so our staff can have a vacation. We’d pay half now, half when the job is done. It’s a $5000 job total, so we’d give you $2500 now and the other when you’re done. Does that sound good?”

“That sounds amazing. I can start on Saturday if that work for you guys.”

“That works. So let me get you the money, and I’ll call you with any other information.” Maria disappeared behind the counter into her office and came back with a check with the hospital emblem on it. “So there’s that, and I’ll call you if I think of anything else okay?”

“Sounds good,” Eliza smiled, tucking the check into her purse.

“Alright, I’ll see you Saturday then. Have a good day, Eliza. Don’t forget your sonogram appointment today.”

“I won’t,” she said, smiling as the doctor walked away.

The receptionist handed her an appointment card. “It’s September 21 at 1:00. We’ll see you then.”

“Thank you so much. Have a good day.”

“You too,” replied the receptionist as Eliza left through the door.

She walked to her sister’s car and climbed in, her energy levels through the roof.

Peggy was asleep in the back but Angelica turned to her as soon as she sat down. “So?”

Eliza started to tear up. “There’s a baby in there,” she laughed, wiping away tears. “There’s really a baby in there.” She opened her phone to the voice recording. “Listen.”

The sound of the heart beating filled the small car. Angelica was in awe, listening to the recording. “Wow, E. That’s awesome.”

“I have a sonogram in a couple hours, think you can bring me?”

“Of course, we’re here for you today, even if Peggy is in the back sleeping. So what do you want to do until then?”

“I’m starving. Can we go to KFC or something? I really want mashed potatoes.”

“A craving, eh?”

Eliza rolled her eyes. “No, I just really like mashed potatoes. You know that.” Angelica murmured an ‘mm-hmm’ as she pulled out of the parking space and turned onto the road. “Peggy, wake up,” Eliza said, slapping at her sister. “We’re going to KFC.”

“Drive through?”

“Why can’t we just go in and sit down?” Angelica asked her sister.

“I don’t want to. I’m comfy back here.”

“You’ve been sleeping on a blanket that John and I have sex on when we go out for picnics. Just throwing that out there.”

Peggy shot up. “You’re disgusting. You let me sleep on that!”

Eliza burst out laughing. “It’s not like you asked, Pegs.”

“Well yeah but she could have warned me! That’s disgusting. Ugh. You’re gross. You’re both gross. Having sex. And you can’t even deny it Eliza because you’re pregnant and I doubt it’s the baby Jesus.”

Eliza was laughing to the point of tears when Angelica piped up. “Peggy, you’ve been having sex since you were a college freshman. Don’t even deny it because I could hear you guys every time you would bring one home.”

“Okay, listen…”

They turned into KFC and ate, joking around the entire time. Eliza finished her food in record time, having not eaten since dinner the night before.

Peggy poked at her stomach. “Are you sure that’s not a food baby in there, ‘Liza?”

Eliza blushed. “I didn’t have breakfast this morning. So sue me. Also, give me your mashed potatoes.” She swiped Peggy’s potatoes from her and dipped her fork in the container.

“Hey!”

“Hey, I’m eating for two now. You don’t need the calories, I do. Sure I only need, like, three hundred extra calories a day, but whatever. It’ll be fine.” She looked down at the time on her phone and noticed a text from Alexander.

Hey, Betsey, I hope you’re having a good time with the girls. The guys came over to our house so they’ll probably be there when you get back. I love you, Eliza.

She sent a picture of her sisters sitting across from her, Peggy shoving a forkful of chicken in her mouth, Angelica smiling at the camera. We’re at KFC right now. I think they’re gonna keep me out as long as possible. But I’ll be home for dinner tonight. Maybe I’ll bring home a treat.

I shall count the hours until I see your beautiful face again, my dearest.

Eliza smiled and put her phone down again, noting the time before it shut off. “We still have an hour and a half until my next appointment. What do you guys want to do?”

Angelica’s eyes brightened. “Let Peggy and I buy you some maternity clothes!”

“Guys, I can’t let you pay for me, and I don’t know how I could pay you back.”

Angelica scoffed. “We’re your sisters, E. It’s called that’s-what-you-do-for-the-people-you-love. And if you’re not here to pick them out with us now, we’ll just do it later and make it a gift for you. So really it’s your choice of now or later.”

“I’m going to pay you back somehow.”

“You can worry about that later. Now let’s go shopping.”

Angelica made it to the mall in almost no time flat, speeding into a parking spot right next to the doors. The three women stepped out and walked to the doors, Angelica leading the way.

“Ange, I don’t even know what stores sell maternity clothes here.”

“There’s an entire store dedicated to mommy-to-be needs,” she grinned. “You’re not getting out of this.”

Eliza groaned and trudged after her sisters, following them into a store. A maternity store. For mother-to-be. Like her.

Breathing suddenly became harder to handle as she walked through the racks with her sisters. Angelica would pause to pull a shirt or dress off the rack and hold it up beside Eliza, looking to see if it would fit, or match her complexion, or something. Every so often, Angelica would ask her if she liked something, only for her to nod or shake her head.

Peggy walked up with an armful of skirts, jeans, and maternity bras. “I’ve already picked out what I’m buying you, so deal.”

“Pegs, I don’t think I need that many pants.”

“Well some of them are shorts, and there’s some jeans, and some leggings, and a couple of skirts. And I got you cute bras because everyone deserves cute bras.”

“Peggy, I have bras,” she said, exasperated.

“But not cute mommy bras that are cute, comfy, and functional.” She set them on the counter. “And they’re all in your size, and they’re having a BOGO deal, so stop complaining and let us pamper you or I’m taking you to get a mani-pedi next.”

“And a haircut,” piped Angelica from behind a stack of shirts and dresses. “I’m ready to check out too.”

“Guys, I don’t need all of this,” she whined looking at the piles of clothes.

“I got you a cute cardigan,” Eliza said. “I don’t know what the difference is between a cardigan and a maternity cardigan but it’s cute and you’re getting it and you can’t be mad at me because I know you want one.”

“I really do,” she grumbled. “Okay, I’m going to go wait outside so I don’t hear the totals and have a heart attack, okay?” She put a bottle of lotion on the counter. “Can one of you get this too?”

“I’ll get it,” offered Peggy. “I’m pretty sure my total is going to be less anyway.”

Eliza rubbed her temples and walked out of the store, sitting on a bench outside the store. She doubled in half, resting her head on her knees; or as close as she could get. She dragged her hands down her face and watched her sisters in the store. It seemed like forever before they came out, bags in tow. “Did I break your bank?”

“No, if anything we broke our banks. Because let’s be honest, we have no self control,” said Angelica.

“We really don’t,” agreed Peggy. “And you’re our favorite sister so it’s only fair.”

“You really are,” whispered Angelica. “Where to next?”

“Can we go home before my appointment? We can drop this stuff off.” Eliza breathed heavily as she stood up. “Peggy, I think I’m going to take the back seat this time. I don’t feel so good.”

“Like, morning sickness don’t-feel-good?”

Eliza shook her head. “No, like, how-the-hell-am-I-supposed-to-tell-Alexander-about-this anxiety. And nerves. And I feel like I’m going to throw up. What if he hates me for it? What if he wants me to get an abortion?”

“Okay, first off, you’re being ridiculous, ‘Liza. Alexander may be pro-choice, but he’d never want to have his own child aborted. Second off, if he acts like a dick, Ange and I will beat the fuck out of him. Sister’s honor. But Eliza, you know he wouldn’t act like that. Even if you guys are having money troubles, he’ll want that baby as much as he wants you. And maybe he’ll stop being so proud of himself and blast that ego of his and take some money from daddy. He just wants to help, Eliza.”

“I know that. But Alexander just sees it as a handout. And he doesn’t want that. He’d rather pay daddy back no matter how long it takes.”

“Maybe you can get it through his thick skull and tell him that he needs to worry more about this baby than his pride.”

“You know Peggy has a point, E.”

Eliza opened the back door to the car and crawled inside. “Do you have something I can use as a pillow that you haven’t had sex on?”

“The blanket on the floor is clean.” Angelica said, loading the bags into the trunk.

“Really?!” Shrieked Peggy. “You couldn’t have given me the untainted blanket? I had to lay down on your raunchy exhibitionist blanket for picnic sex.”

“You never asked,” Angelica pointed out, climbing in the driver’s seat. “Maybe if you had asked, I would have told you. And it’s not raunchy exhibitionist sex. It’s sex on our own blanket in the woods behind our house where the only people that would find us would be trespassers. So it’s not really exhibitionism. Public sex? Maybe. But definitely not exhibitionism.”

“I’d probably be an exhibitionist tbh,” admitted Peggy. “But I don’t think Stephen is into that.”

“Who’s Stephen?!” Exclaimed Eliza, shooting up in place.

Peggy’s cheeks flushed. “He’s just a guy I’ve been seeing for a while.”

Angelica turned in her seat. “A while?! And you didn’t tell us?”

“Because you guys always act like this! Would you just start the car?” She crossed her arms. “I’ll tell you on the way to ‘Liza’s house.” She sighed deeply as Angelica turned on the main road. “Okay, so Stephen and I have been dating since Angelica’s wedding. He was one of the waiters that cane with your catering company. Well, when he was on break, I sat down and talked with him for a while and we hit it off immediately. I had planned on introducing you to him next week and that being how you found out. But obviously I blew it as usual.”

“So how come you haven’t told us of him before?” Eliza said from the back seat.

“Because you guys are kind of overbearing, especially you, Ange. I really like him and I didn’t want you to scare him away. We’ve been moving kinda fast though and we both decided it was time for him to meet my family. So we planned on having a party next week. But the cat’s out of the bag now so there’s really no point.”

“We can still have the party,” said Eliza. “And I’d just like to state, that for the record, Alexander is the overbearing one, not me.”

“Alright, fair enough. But still embarrassing.”

A silence settled over the car as they sat at a red light. Angelica was staring in the rear view mirror, Peggy was staring straight ahead, and Eliza laid back across the seat. “Do you have any pictures?”

Peggy snorted and threw her phone in the back seat, the photos app open. “It took you longer to ask than I thought. Just keep scrolling.”

“Ohh,” Eliza said. “He’s handsome. What a catch Pegs. You done good.” She scrolled to the side. “And apparently he’s well-hung. I’m gonna keep scrolling.”

“What?! I put all of those pictures in photo vault.”

“Except that one apparently. It’s all good, I’ve scrolled past it already.” She looked at the new picture- both of them clothed thankfully, Peggy blushing as Stephen pressed a kiss to her cheek. “It was a very artsy photo though. Did you take it?”

“Elizaaa,” Peggy whined, Angelica laughing beside her. “Shut up.”

“I’m just curious! You guys look so happy together. It’s really cute,” she commented, scrolling through more photos. “Is this an after-sex selfie?” She turned the phone toward her sister, showing her the photo.

“Lemme see,” she said, turning around and grabbing at her phone. A smile crept across her face as she looked at the photo. “Yeah, I guess it is.” She was curled into Stephen’s side, her face buried in his chest. The look on both of their faces was pure bliss, comfort, and contentment. “Oh, god,” Peggy sniffled, holding back tears. “I’m so in love with him.”

“Aww,” Angelica crooned. “My baby sister has got it bad. You’re still having the party right? We get to meet him?”

“Yeah,” Peggy sighed. “I guess so. But you’d better not embarrass me. Got it?”

“Well…” Eliza began.

“Got. It?” she asked through her teeth.

“Yes, Margarita, we got it. We would never ever ever purposely embarrass you.” Angelica sniggered from the driver’s seat. “Never ever.”

“You guys are so full of shit, you know that?” Peggy crossed her arms and slouched in her seat. She tossed her phone back at Eliza. “Might as well keep looking.”

Eliza scrolled through the pictures, crooning here and there at some particularly cute photos. “You guys look so happy together.”

“We are.” Peggy smiled from the front seat. “We really are.”

Angelica turned her car into the apartment parking lot and shifted it into park. “Are you ready to bring your stuff upstairs?”

“Oh, god, Alexander can’t see these bags. They have maternity plastered all over the side of them.”

“I’ll make up an elaborate story,” Angelica said, waving her hand noncommittally. “No one will know the difference.”

“He’s Alexander, Ange. He’ll figure it out.”

Peggy grabbed the bags. “Then we’ll distract him.”

Eliza grabbed her phone. Are the guys still there with you?

Yeah, why? He replied almost immediately.

Just wondering. We’ll be right up.

“He said the guys are still in the apartment. Please help me.”

“Do you have your set of car keys on you?” Peggy said, walking to the small blue car parked a few spots away.

“Yeah, it’s on my keychain. Why?”

Peggy snatched the keys that Eliza had held out in her hand. “We’ll just stuff them in the trunk. He won’t know until after you can tell him.”

Eliza nodded and grabbed some of the bags from Angelica’s car. “That actually is a really good idea.”

“Well, obviously,” Peggy snorted. “I came up with it.” She tossed the bags into the trunk and slammed it closed. “Now let’s go upstairs. But we have to be quick. Your appointment is in twenty minutes.”

The three women walked up the stairs, Peggy pulling a dreadful Eliza and Angelica following them. “Eliza you have to tell him sooner or later.”

“I know, Ange. Apparently it’s super obvious and everyone at the stupid doctor’s office could tell and I just don’t want to be like, ‘hey, Alex, you know how we’re struggling to survive? Well we’ll be having a baby in four months, so prepare yourself to stop eating or living.’”

“Well, that’s just unrealistic, Eliza. You would never tell him like that. First of all, you never call him Alex. Second of all, just open your front door and lady up. Go tell him.” Angelica nudged Eliza towards the door. “What’s the worst that could happen?”

“A lot of things, Angelica! A lot of things! He could-”

Peggy threw open the door. “We’re back losers!” She proclaimed, draping herself over Lafayette and Hercules’s laps on the couch.

“Peggy, really?” Angelica chastised. “You’re old enough to know better.”

“Yeah, Ange, but you’re young enough to live it up a bit and you don’t do that, so it seems as though we are at an impasse.” She smirked before looking at the guys. “There’s gonna be a party at my place next week and you’re invited,” she began to drone.

Eliza walked up behind Alexander and pressed a kiss to his cheek. “Can we talk?”

“Eliza, you’ll never have to worry about me not wanting to talk. I literally never shut up. You’ve been married to me for how long now? And you still can’t figure that out?” The smile on his face made it evident that he was joking, no matter how true it was.

“Can we talk in private? Go out on the fire escape maybe?”

Alexander’s smile fell from his face. “Yeah, sure. Let me put my drink on the table and I’ll be right there.”

Eliza walked through the bedroom to the fire escape and sat down, the cold metal pressing into the backs of her legs. Alexander walked through and sat beside her, their legs dangling through the safety rails.

“What’s going on Betsey?”

She leaned into him, her head on his chest. “I just missed you,” she whispered, inhaling the smell of his cologne.

He wrapped his arm around her and pulled her even closer. She lifted her legs up from over the edge and curled them into her chest. “Oh, ‘Liza. I’m always right here for you.”

“I know,” she said. For now, her mind provided. “What did you guys do today?”

“You’ll never believe it, Betsey. We were sitting in that coffee shop a few blocks over, right? And I’m complaining about how no one is buying my writings, and I’d basically do anything for a job right now, and this guy walks up to our table and it like, ‘I couldn’t help but overhear,’ yadda yadda yadda and long story short, he offered me a job as editor for the newspaper. It’s not glamorous or anything, but it’s $66,000 starting salary, benefits, healthcare.”

“Oh, Alexander, that’s wonderful!”

“It’s not anything special, but it’s better than nothing, right?”

“Oh absolutely! I actually got a job offer today, too. $2500 up front, the other $2500 when it’s done.” She pulled the check from her purse and showed Alexander.

“The hospital?”

“They want me to paint a mural for one of their office waiting rooms. Everything is starting to fall in place.” She leaned against Alexander’s chest. “It’s for their women’s health office.” They sat in silence for a few seconds, Eliza listening to Alexander’s heartbeat pounding in her ear. It was much slower than the heartbeat she was listening to earlier. “Alexander, do you ever want kids?”

“I haven’t really ever thought about it. Most of my childhood was spent in less than pleasing conditions. My mother died when I was young, my father left even before that, I don’t even know what a parent is supposed to do. I don’t think so. I don’t know. Maybe eventually but definitely not now. Not until we’re settled down even more and have an actual house instead of the apartment. I want us to be financially stable before we even really think about having kids. Why do you ask?”

“Uh, I saw a newborn when I was in the women’s health building earlier. I was just wondering,” she said, tears welling in her eyes. “Can you just hold me for a bit? It’s been quite the day. I missed my husband.”

“Let’s go back into our room then, Betsey. You’re shaking.”

“Oh, I must be a little cold,” she agreed, pawing at the tears in her eyes before standing up. She wrapped her arms around herself, hiding her midsection. She crawled in the window and threw herself on the bed, curling up on herself.

“Eliza? What’s wrong? Was it something I said?”

“Please just come hold me.”

Alexander crawled into bed beside her, his arms wrapping around her ribs to pull her close. One hand found its way to her hair, where he carded his fingers through the pin straight locks. “You’re so beautiful, Eliza,” he whispered in her ear. “You are the definition of beauty itself. I’m so lucky to have you in my life.” He pressed his nose against the crook of her neck and breathed happily. “I’ll still never know how you married a man like me, Betsey.”

Eliza’s body was still shaking with her crying, her eyes staring blankly at the door in front of her. She could feel Alexander pressing kisses up and down her neck, but she didn’t react.

Alexander sat up behind her and eased his face in front of hers, his body hovering just above her. “Eliza, what’s wrong? Did I say something wrong? Please, Elizabeth, I can’t help unless I know what’s wrong. I thought you’d be excited to have a commission, and excited that I have a real job lined up.”

She remained staring at the door and Alexander launched himself off the bed, running through the door to the living room. He brought Angelica back, pulling her by the arm into the bedroom.

“I don’t know what I did wrong. We were out talking and now she’s like this and now she won’t talk to me or answer or react to anything I do. Please Angelica. Help me. I don’t know what I did.”

Angelica sat on the edge of the bed. “E, can you hear me?” She eased her sister’s head off the pillow and scooted under it, Eliza’s head resting on her lap. “Alexander, go get her a glass of water.” She rubbed Eliza’s hair soothingly, humming as she played with her dark hair. “What’s wrong, Eliza?”

Eliza began sobbing. “He said he definitely doesn’t want children now. Maybe not ever.”

“Oh, Eliza. I’m sure he didn’t mean that.”

“I asked him if he ever wanted children and he said he doesn’t think so, and then that he doesn’t know, and then definitely not right now.” Her body was shaking harder from the sobbing. “Because of the money.”

“Well did you tell him? Did you tell him everything about-?”

“No, I couldn’t. Not after he said that,” she cried.

“Eliza, babe, you need to tell him.” She sat her sister up on the bed, easing Eliza’s head to her chest, pulling her into a hug. “He deserves to know.”

“I deserve to know what?” Alexander asked, hand clenched around a glass of water. Angelica held her hand out for it and he pressed it into her palm. “Tell me what?”

Angelica handed Eliza the water and watched her drink it before standing up. “I think you two have some talking to do.”

“Angelica, no-”

“I’ll be right out in the kitchen, holler if you need me.”

“Angelica, I need you!” Eliza cried.

“Alexander, instead of talking, you might want to consider listening for once,” she said before she closed the bedroom door behind her.

The air in the bedroom suddenly felt heavy. Eliza stood up and moved to the window, throwing it open before sitting on the floor.

“Eliza, I need you to talk to me. Please. I can’t help you if I don’t know what I did wrong.” He sat down on the floor and grabbed her hand. “Eliza, pl-”

“I’m pregnant.”

33 notes · View notes

because-cur-non · 7 years

Note

Top 5 scenes/ moments/ sections of dialogue from RF?

I’m gonna answer this under a cut!

1) Mulligan with Hamilton in loco parentis (I love Mulligan. I love Mulligan having his shit together more than these kids. Someday I’ll do a bonus thing of when Hamilton was staying with him. This is honestly maybe my favorite scene in the whole damn thing because I just love Mulligan so much.)

Mulligan was silent while he composed a message neutral enough to sound like it could have come from anyone and sent it. He pocketed Hamilton’s phone and let him sit quietly for the rest of the ride. He paid the driver, led the way into his building, and let them into the apartment. It sounded like one of his flatmates was in his room but otherwise they were alone. Hamilton dropped his bag on the floor and collapsed face-down on the sofa.

“I hate this,” he moaned.

“We’ll sort it out. Take off that jacket, the sleeves are too long for you. I’m gonna hem ‘em while we wait to hear back from ‘im.”

Hamilton dropped the jacket on the ground without getting up. Mulligan sighed and picked it up, taking it over to the sewing machine on the table.

“Like raising a friggin’ five year old…”

“Fuck off.”

“You gonna throw a tantrum?”

Hamilton raised one hand to flip him off.

“I can’t think, Mulligan,” Hamilton complained as the machine whirred. “Me.”

“Thanks for implyin’ the rest of us are a buncha idiots,” Mulligan said, his back to him as he worked.

“You know what I mean.”

“So you forgot your keys, big deal. Said you were sleep deprived anyway. Too much fuckin’ on vacation?”

“Just once. Wasn’t that. That didn’t help.”

Mulligan didn’t say anything, waiting patiently for Hamilton to start up again.

“Maybe I am sick,” he finally said, turning his head to the back of the couch and touching his face. “He said I felt hot. I get sick every winter anyway, fuck winter.” He struggled to take out his dry contacts. “That must be it.”

“Lovesick, maybe.” The machine stopped and Mulligan inspected his work, looking over just in time to see Hamilton reach over the armrest and drop the contacts to the carpet. “Oh, come on, I don’t spit on your floor.”

Hamilton left his arm hanging and Mulligan dropped the jacket on top of him.

“Try that when you’re done whining and tell me how it is.”

“‘Kay.”

“You done whining?”

“No.”

“I’m getting a beer. I’d offer you one, but it’s illegal to give alcohol to children.”

“You’re a jackass.”

Mulligan came back into the room, popping the tab on a can of beer. “You’re being a baby.”

“I fucking lost my work keys and I can’t get into my apartment!”

“That’s not what you’re really complaining about, Hamilton. I might not be a hotshot genius like you, but I’m not a moron. Move your legs over.” Mulligan sat heavily on the couch next to him. “You like the guy?”

“Yeah.” Hamilton’s voice was heavily muffled by the couch cushions.

“You like him a lot?”

“Yeah.”

“Things get a little too real spending that much time with him?”

Hamilton paused. “Yeah.”

Mulligan patted his leg. “Suck it up,” he said sympathetically.

2) CVS (First, this is the start of the islands/ocean theme. Second, look at these boys, this is back before they’re all over each other, that hand on the shoulder was Intimate. Someday I’ll also go through and pull things to show the progression of their sleeping habits.)

Laurens pulled him down, running his thumb over his high cheekbones and then his fingers through his hair. “You’re gonna get wrinkles,” he teased, “you’ll turn gray.”

“I’d be a silver fox,” Hamilton replied. “All the girls’ll be lining up at my door.”

“‘Girls’?”

“Yeah, I banned you after you made fun of my hair.” Hamilton rolled away from Laurens onto his back. “It’s like a sauna in the city at this time of year. I’m melting.”

“I thought you’d be used to it.”

“Trade winds.” Hamilton waved one hand dismissively in the air above his face. “And not all of this cement for the heat to just bake you in.”

Laurens propped himself up on his elbow, watching Hamilton’s face.

“I bet winter was a surprise.”

“Ha. Yeah. I stepped off that plane and—d’you know what, John? I saw autumn leaves for the first time in my life. Squirrels. CVS, for chrissake. All this shit that I had this image of in my mind because of course I knew about it, I’d seen it everywhere, and that’s the thing, isn’t it? No one in New York cares if I went to Gore’s of St. Croix, but I’ve got CVS already engrained somewhere in me and it’s beautiful, the flow of power. Soft power, John, recognize our maps and naturalize our flora and fauna and without even realizing it your center of balance is off.”

Laurens was quiet and Hamilton tucked his hands behind his head.

“You know what?”

“What?”

“You’re right, four hours isn’t enough. I don’t know what I’m talking about.”

“That’s not true.”

Hamilton closed his eyes. Laurens waited for a minute to see if he would say anything else, then lay down once he heard his breathing slow, putting one hand on his shoulder in spite of the heat.

3) Inappropriate sick flirting (Okay this isn’t like a CLASSY option or anything, but I crack myself up every time with Hamilton’s attempt to deflect-by-flirting here and I’m a sucker for sickfic, so. Shrug.)

Laurens, like Lafayette, woke before his alarm. He had gotten up late that night to take his headphones off and close his laptop, and then alternated between dozing and playing on his phone for a few hours, not willing to wake Hamilton if he was so soundly asleep. It wasn’t until he heard the second coughing fit that he got up and pulled on a pair of pants.

“Alex?” He knocked on the bathroom door. “Are you okay?”

“I’m fine.” He sounded a little strangled.

“Are you sick?”

Hamilton started coughing again. “I’m fine,” he repeated after a minute.

“Alex, come back to bed. Do you need something to drink?”

“I have water.” Laurens could hear him put the mug down on the side of the sink for emphasis. “And my laptop. I’m fine. Go back to sleep. I don’t want to keep you up.”

“I’m awake now.” Laurens tried the handle but it was locked.

“I don’t want to make you—” Hamilton cut himself off, clearing his throat and taking a drink.

“I thought you said you weren’t sick.”

“Said I was fine.”

Laurens sighed. “Look, if I’m going to get sick the damage is already done. I have to go in an hour. Just come back out. I feel weird talking to you through a door.”

There was a pause, then Hamilton opened the door and stepped out, all false-casualness in sweatpants and a pullover, taking a sip from a university mug. “Hey, J. You’re up, I’m up. What’re the odds. Wanna fuck?”

Laurens gave him an incredulous look. “No.”

4) Masculinity (Would you believe I wrote all this shit about gender before thinking critically about gender in my own life? Like, jeez, it’s one of Hamilton’s main recurring issues and the one I always identified with the most. Anyway, it was a toss up between this and the argument he has with Laurens at the end of the chapter, but it’s the same deal really.)

“What did I say wrong?” Lafayette asked. “I didn’t mean anything bad. I was teased a lot too, you know, but I’m happy for the two of you. I like being in a relationship like that. The closeness, the cuddling…”

“Yeah,” Hamilton said sharply and more directly than he meant to, “‘cause you’re not being treated like the freakin’ girl!”

Lafayette looked at him in surprise and Hamilton, embarrassed, turned away.

“Shit,” he said, walking towards the platform. “Don’t tell him I said that. I didn’t mean it like that.”

“John doesn’t think of you as a girl.”

“I know that.”

“Well, if you know that…”

Hamilton didn’t say anything.

“Do you think other people see you that way?”

“Fuck other people. How should I know what they think?”

“You would make a very bad girl,” Lafayette said.

“Shut up.”

“I don’t think anyone sees it like that except for you. John certainly doesn’t.”

“I know—look, fine,” Hamilton said, accepting that he was just going to be that annoying guy having a fight on the subway. He dug a quarter out of his pocket and tossed it into a street performer’s open guitar case to try and balance his karma out. “So he doesn’t, great. I feel bad, okay? I know he doesn’t—I like when—It’s just the way other people react sometimes. Like I’m…” Hamilton paused, gesturing helplessly as he tried to find the words. “…Less than him. Like with his friends, I liked that on the whole, it was great, I’m glad he had a good time and they were chill. But there were a couple moments where it was like they were almost making fun of me.”

“They teased me, too,” Lafayette protested.

“Bully for you.” Hamilton saw Lafayette’s hand twitch towards his pocket and he sighed. “Go ahead, write that one down. It’s dated, that’s probably why you haven’t heard it yet.”

Lafayette tucked the box under his arm then took out his notebook and copied the phrase out.

“I know it’s stupid,” Hamilton said, making an effort to lower his voice. “It shouldn’t matter. There’s nothing ‘feminine’ about it and even if there was, that’s not a bad thing. But it’s weird, okay, and I don’t like it. It’s not about being with him,” he went on after a pause in which they both waited as the train loudly pulled up. “I just hate being made to feel like less of a man for it.”

Lafayette cocked his head to the side, considering this. They got into a car and took hold of a pole near the door.

“Fucking bullshit heteronormativity,” Hamilton complained as the car pulled away, taking a step to the side for balance. “Gender doesn’t function in a void, Lafayette. In a perfect world none of this would matter and also I’d live in an apartment that didn’t leak heat during the winter.”

Neither of them said anything as the car rattled along to its next stop.

“You know what’s extra bullshit,” Hamilton started up again as the train stopped. “I fucked him today. I should be the one getting all the accolades. Instead it’s just, oh, look at the little guy, he’s so cute. Bullshit,” he muttered again, tugging his scarf down. “Doesn’t always bother me,” he added. “I dunno, I know you didn’t mean anything by it. Wasn’t even the tone. I don’t know.”

“I think you’re very masculine.”

“Thanks.” Hamilton still sounded sullen.

5) Out (Is it weird to say that I consider this part “a classic”? This is the thing that got me by far the most amount of comments and, I mean, Laurens earned it.)

“God damn,” Humphreys complained, freshly dressed and sitting next to Laurens on the bench between the rows of lockers and working at a knot in his neck. He tipped his head to the side so that fine braids slid like a curtain over his hand. “Don’t get me wrong, Laurens, I don’t want to blow my shoulder out, but you don’t even know how much shit I would have gotten into if I had gotten a month and a half off.”

“Dirty shit,” Tench laughed. “Go back to your farm, find some of those sheep?”

“Shut up,” Humphreys said, laughing as well. “That was a business plan.”

“Yeah, the oldest business in the world. Sam, catch.” Another player walking by caught his wallet without missing a beat. “I owe you ten.” The money was taken and the wallet was tossed back. Tench dropped it in his bag.

“Anyway, like I was saying, it’s not that I envy you, just those extra six weeks.”

“I hear you,” Tallmadge agreed, coming back from the shower in just a towel. “It’s hard to visit my girlfriend during the week. It takes so long to drive down, it’s really only possible on the weekend, but then, okay, so we can’t fool around as much as I’d like. Not that I’m actually ready for the monastery like our boy Laurens,” he teased, shoving Laurens playfully as he opened his locker. “How’re you holding up? I’d have assumed you just weren’t interested if I hadn’t had to listen to you for all these years.”

“Sainthood’s a real lonely road,” Tench added.

“Hey, come on,” Laurens protested, not really thinking about what he was saying, “My boyfriend’s all over me too, I know what it’s like.”

There was actually a moment of stunned silence in the locker room during which time Laurens braced for—

“You aren’t single? Hey, look, it only took five years! That means there’s still hope for you yet,” Tallmadge said loudly, slapping a passing first year, the younger of the two Trumbull brothers, hard on the back. “If you bitch about not getting a date one more time, I’m not stopping your older brother from whaling on you.”

Laurens watched in relieved surprise as various conversations picked back up around him.

“That explains why you haven’t gotten any personal fouls so far this season,” Tench teased him.

“So can we know who it is yet? Or is it still a secret?” Tallmadge dropped his towel to change, facing his locker. “I want to know who tamed the stallion.”

“‘The stallion’?” Humphreys was packing his bag. “Oh, come on, and I’m stuck with the sheep?”

“You wrote that paper, you brought this upon yourself,” McHenry said, breaking away from his earlier conversation and pushing up his glasses. “So who’s the lucky gent? I’m with Tallmadge, he deserves a Goddamn medal for finally wearing you down.”

“Alex,” Laurens started, caught between embarrassed and incredibly grateful. “Alexander Hamilton.”

“Hamilton… The guy with you at the trustee dinner? Short,” Tench said, gesturing his height. “Wavy hair? We went to André’s after.”

“That guy?” McHenry cut in. He tugged at the collar to his shirt and glanced down at himself, feeling the tag sticking out in the front. “Shit.” His voice was muffled for a second as he pulled it off over his head, flashing well-defined abs and two faint scars curving under his chest, then put it back on. “He works for the dean, doesn’t he?”

“Secretary to the president,” Laurens said, tentatively bragging a little.

“I thought he was with your roommate?”

“André’s his friend, he said that was just a rumor.”

“Obviously,” Tench rolled his eyes at Tallmadge. “Know-it-all.”

“Hey, André,” Humphreys called as André, also in a towel and with his hair wet and down in his eyes, showed up. “Did you know Laurens’ been holding out on us?”

“Uh.” André looked quickly at Laurens, who stood up.

“All right, all right, that’s enough.”

“So how is it?” Tench asked, ignoring Laurens’ protests. “Does he just want it all the time?”

“What?”

“You said he was all over you,” Tench pushed. “Did you have to give up your rule?”

Laurens reddened slightly. “No.”

“What? So, nothing? Not at all?”

“All season?” Tallmadge asked. “I take it back, he’s the saint, not you.”

“Wait, you did fuck though, didn’t you? You were together at the dinner, right?”

Laurens, still standing, not sure what was really stopping him from just walking away, felt an excited rush of camaraderie. “Yeah, we were, and we did. The night before,” he added before he managed to second guess himself and lose his nerve, “I fucked him so good he cried.”

Another shocked silence, then a delighted whoop of laughter.

“That’s our boy!” Tallmadge pounded Laurens on the back as he grinned, simultaneously self-conscious and proud.

“Damn,” Humphreys shook his head. “And here I thought we were going to need to give you a talk about the birds and the bees before you graduated and got sent out into the real world.”

“Maybe we still do,” Tench said. “Laurens, let me make this brief: you’re a moron.”

Laurens frowned, unsure. “What?”

“You said it yourself, he’s all over you. Go take advantage of that opportunity, man! You’ve waited long enough.”

“I had sex in high school,” Laurens protested weakly.

“Yeah, you know, you told some of us that story,” McHenry pointed out, “and while it sounded like a real great time, half a decade has passed in between.”

“He’s pretty cute,” Tallmadge agreed as Laurens stared at him in disbelief. “Long eyelashes.”

“Since… Since when do you check out other guys?”

“Relax, please, I sat next to him in lecture once. I remember because they friggin’ cast shadows on his face.”

“Uh-huh,” Laurens said, not sure at all about what to do with that.

“You do want to sleep with him, don’t you?” McHenry asked. “This isn’t another basil farm incident, is it?”

Laurens looked over at André, who studied the ceiling.

“No, uh,” Laurens said eloquently. “The sex is—it’s good. I enjoy it.”

“Then go fuck your boyfriend,” Tench told him, a little louder than Laurens would have preferred. “Seriously, Laurens! Did you hit your head when you ripped your shoulder out of its socket? He wants to, you want to, that grand tradition you thought you were holding to is a bunch of bullshit—no one actually does it. If you’re so concerned about your stamina then don’t sleep with him the night before the game! Jesus!”

“His girlfriend’s on study abroad,” André reminded Laurens, nodding his head at Tench.

“Right.”

“Lucky son of a bitch,” Tench muttered, zipping up his bag forcefully and slinging it over his shoulders as he stood. “Right, I’m starving. You getting breakfast, Laurens?”

Laurens smiled. “Sure. Sounds good.”

#this is like a sampler or some shit #revolutionary fuckboys

28 notes · View notes

herciederckie-blog · 7 years

Text

-did you forget about are love?..- Jeffmads Angst Fanfic

MMMMMMM HAVE THIS SADNESS....it has a happy ending Warning: Mention of suicide, M/M, I'm not a good writer so forgive me, also all typos are not fixed. I'm to lazy ------ James has been waiting 4 years for Thomas to come back from France. All James could think of is how He never told him he was leaving. And it took him 3 years just to tell him, of corse he knew cause he told everybody else, he could tell all his friends but not his BOYFRIEND he was leaving. It's been 3 hours, he has been sitting in the airport for 3 hours, waiting for that curly haired fuck to come threw the doors, James was pissed, he has every right to be, his boyfriend just takes off, and never texts him, but randomly just texts "hey babe" out of no where. Hm. "Hey..." Alex says and pats James back "What" James says Flatly "I'm...I'm sorry..I don't really like Thomas cause he is a asshole" "Yeah your fucking right he is a damn asshole." James interrupted Alex "James what are you gonna say?.." John and Alex didn't like Thomas that much, but James was there Friend and they supported him threw all the 4 years his boyfriend didn't, James laid in a bed for 3 years and The hole time he cried, he didn't know why Thomas did this, he didn't know why he left without telling him, he didn't understand...he just...he didn't know what he did wrong.. "I dunno" James responded after what seemed like forever "Should we leave?" Alex asked "No, if things go wrong I want to leave that asshole here and leave with you guys." Alex slightly laughed at James Response but John shoved him a little to make him stop James sees the doors open, and guess who it was "JAMES!" The tall, poofy haired, dark skinned, fuck hole man. Thomas "Hello" James didn't smile. He didn't blush, he didn't even bat an eyelash at Thomas, all the anger, sadness was building up inside him as Thomas got closer. John and Alex saw his feelings in his eyes and stepped back cause they knew shit was about to be said, and hopefully explained. "I've missed you!" Thomas hugged his Very short little Boyfriend James hugged back, but it felt so empty and heartless and cold. "James what's wrong?..." Thomas stopped hugging James, he tilted his head a bit "What's wrong?..." James echoed, "what's wrong?!" He echoed louder "Thomas you fucking left me!!!" He was shouting and people stared at him, James didn't care, he was angry, who the fuck leaves their boyfriend that way. "James people are-" John tried to calm him down but James Pushed Johns hand off his shoulder and stomped his foot causing a loud clack "No! no! Thomas why don't you fucking tell me here! Right fucking now. Why im pissed, why I'm fucking yelling at you!" Thomas was shocked, John and Alex clinger together, they Knew James was upset but, for a man who hates public, and people staring at him, he didn't care, all he focused on was his boyfriend "James I don't know what your talking about?.." Thomas sounded slightly scared "What the fuck do you mean?! How can you not know?! 4 fucking years! FOUR YOU FUCKING ASS!" He paused, "I HAVE WAITED FOUR FUCKING YEARS FOR YOU TO COME BACK!" James Grabbed his shirt and pulled him down to his level, just so Thomas could see the pain and heart break and anger in his eyes "If JOHN! AND ALEX didn't tell me you left when they did,.." He paused and teared up "Thomas before they told me I actually thought you fucking died" he wiped his eyes so he didn't cry in public "but no, I get told that my fucking BOYFRIEND is in France, Probably having the time of his life with Laf forgetting all about me!" He barks and Thomas eyes widened "James! I didn't forget about you...I'm..I'm sorry.." James stared at him John and Alex whispered to each other. "If you didn't forget then you ignored me" he looked at him and said heart broken, James let Thomas Shirt go and looked him in the eyes "I fucking,...slept...every night at your house..in your room..cuddled up in your pillows having to cry myself to sleep..I missed you Thomas....I LOVED you..." James slowly started to cry and Thomas Went to wipe his tears but James slapped his hand away "DONT FUCKING TOUCH ME!!" He yelled and Thomas Stepped back "Who the fuck leaves their boyfriend?! Who the fuck just doesn't tell them until 3 years?! WHAT THE FUCK THOMAS!!! WHY DID IT TAKE 3 FUCKING YEARS?!" He screamed "YOU TEXTED EVERYONE ELSE RIGHT AFTER YOU GOT OFF YOUR STUPID FUCKING FLIGHT BUT IT TOOK YOU...3 YEARS TO TELL ME..." He was full crying, James didn't hold back, he wanted Thomas to see all the damage he did to James "Am I not important enough!? Am I just some fucking useless sex toy to you?! Am I just some fucking useless worthless shit now!?" Alex went to the bathroom at this point, Alex liked James by now and was close to him but couldn't watch one of his friends be torn apart by this "James...baby.." Thomas said softly "DONT BABY ME!" He yelled "GO THE FUCK AND TELL ME THOMAS!" "Baby please I..." Thomas paused and looked at James and teared up..what has he done to James...why did Thomas do this...why. "Thomas I love you...." James cried "but I feel like I'm not important anymore to you.," "THATS NOT TRUE JAMES!" THEN WHAT THE FUCK IS?!" He yelled louder then ever, he was kinda sick so his voice was as loud as he could be but not very "CAUSE RIGHT NOW THIS "LOVE" AND "BABY" BULLSHIT FEELS FAKE!" Thomas eyes widened at his Boyfriends words..."Fake"... "I'm nothing to you! I haven't been! I never will!! You use to tell me you loved me and cuddled me and held me and use to tell me why you loved me..,DOES THAT NOT MATTER?!" James started to hic and not breath well from all the tears and shouting "James....I...im...im sorry...please.." Thomas started to cry "Take me home John..." John looked at James, what did he mean take him home?! "Wait what?!" Thomas looked at James scared...was he really about to lose the most important thing to him cause of his dumb ass self?! "Shut the fuck up Thomas" John growled at Thomas and Alex finally came back "James please I wanna talk about this..." Thomas started to cry And James stared blankly...he really wanted to hug Thomas...he wanted to give Mercy,,,he wanted to kiss his cheek and tell him it's alright and forgives him...but he wasn't sure if he should, did Thomas deserve to be thrown away like he did to James, yes, but James was now fighting his love for Thomas and his hatred "James p-please..." Thomas stuttered When he was really And badly hurt, and James Knew that..fucking hell Thomas "James?" Alex asked, questioning if James was gonna forgive him, Alex hoping not James breathed in...and closed his eyes and sighed "You two can go home.." James softly said staring at Thomas. John and Alex gave each other a look and looked Back at James "James you don't have to forgive him..?" John said but Alex interrupted "DONT FORGIVE HIM!?!" John sighed and Took his Boyfriend hugged him "I'm sure ,John" with that said John and Alex Left "James...I'm,,,I-" he was cut off With James hugging him Thomas hugged him and held him so tight he was crying so hard...he felt horrible. He regretted everything "Stop crying.." James said "James Ar-are you really f-fo-forgiving m-me?..." James paused...but then slowly nodded his head "Don't get me wrong...your still a fucking asshole for doing all that to me, and putting me threw multiple suicide thoughts...but you deserve a second chance..just.." He was gonna finish but Thomas started kissing all around his face and laughing with tears still falling, James started to laugh and Cuddled his face into Thomas shoulder "James...I'm so sorry..." Thomas Rubbed James Back and softly kissed his forehead "Just don't forget you love me..." "Oh Baby..." Thomas put a hand on James Cheek and James held it close "I will never...forget how important you are to me...I love you so much James..." "I love you so much more Thomas..."

#mm #yes #angst #Jeffmads #Lams?#I forgot the ship name I hope that's The right one #Lams #sure #I'm not gonna lie I had to pee the inter time writing this #I wanna make a smut one but I'm not sure about it- I would be to embarrassed-#hhh-#enjoy sadness

1 note · View note

whenthedayisdone · 4 years

Note

Top 13 general artist's lyrics. Top movie/tv show quotes. im not gonna set a number for that cuz we'd be here forever

So, this incredibly weird human being right here got distracted and didn't read the entire question. Lmao

I thought you set the bar up at 13 quotes.

It took me forever. But that's okay, given how things are messy right now, this was a good distraction. Made me feel better. 😁

Here it goes.

My top 13 general lyrics - No particular order

1. You promised the world and I fell for it.

I put you first and you adored it.

Set fires to my forests and you let it burn.

Sang off key in my chorus cause it wasn't yours.

[...]

We'd always go into blindly.

I needed to lose you find me.

This dancing was killing me softly.

I needed to hate you to love me.

Lose you to love me - Selena Gomes

2. And I don't want the world to see me cause I don't think that they'd understand.

When everything is meant to be broken, I just want you to know who I am.

Iris - Goo Goo Dolls.

3. It's not always rainbows and butterflies

It's compromise that moves us along.

She will be loved - Maroon 5

4. Lying in my bed, I hear the clock tick and think of you.

Caught up in circles. Confusion is nothing new

Flashback, warm nights. Almost left behind.

Suitcase of memories. Time after...

[...]

If you're lost, you can look and you will find me.

Time after time.

If you fall, I'll catch you. I'll be waiting.

Time after time.

Time after time - Cindy Lauper

5. Every now and then I get a little bit nervous that the best of all the years have gone by.

Total eclipse of the heart - Bonnie Tyler

6. Funny, you're the broken one but I'm the only one who needed saving.

Cause when you never see the light, it's hard to know which one of us is caving.

Stay - Rihanna

7. I don't care if hurts. I wanna have control.

I want a perfect body. I want a perfect soul.

I want you notice when I'm not around.

You're so fucking special.

I wish I was special.

But I'm a creep. I'm a weirdo.

What the hell am I doing here?

I don't belong here.

Creep - Radiohead

8. I remember the day you told me you were leaving.

I remember the make-up running down your face.

And the dreams you left behind you didn't need them.

Like every single wish we ever made.

I wish that I could wake up with amnesia and forget about the stupid little things.

Like the way it felt to fall asleep next to you and the memories I never can escape.

Cause I'm not fine at all.

Amnesia - 5 seconds of summer.

8. We are searchlights, we can see in the dark.

We are rockets, pointed up at the stars.

We are billions of beautiful hearts.

What about us - Pink

9. And all those things I didn't say

Wrecking balls inside my brain

I will scream them loud tonight

Can you hear my voice this time?

This is my fight song

Take back my life song

Prove I'm alright song

My power's turned on

Starting right now I'll be strong

I'll play my fight song

And I don't really care if nobody else believes

'Cause I've still got a lot of fight left in me.

Fight song - Rachel Platten

10. Forget what I said. It's not what I meant.

And I can't take it back, I can't unpack the baggage you left.

[...]

What if I'm someone I don't want around?

[...]

What if I'm someone you won't talk about?

[...]

I get the feeling that you'll never need me again.

[...]

I'm well aware I write too many songs about you

[...]

It kills me 'cause I know we've run out of things we can say.

Falling - Harry Styles

11. And I am feeling so small

It was over my head

I know nothing at all.

Say something - A great big world & Cristina Aguilera

Am I falling in love with the one that could break my heart?

[...]

I wonder when you go, if I stay on your mind.

Two could play that game, but you win me every time.

Everyone before you was a waste of time.

Break my heart - Dua Lipa

12. You can't expect me to be fine.

I don't expect you to care.

I know I've said it before, but all of our bridges burned down.

Payphone - Maroon 5

13. When you try your best but you don't succeed

When you get what you want but not what you need

When you feel so tired but you can't sleep

Stuck in reverse

[...]

Lights will guide you home

And ignite your bones

And I will try to fix you.

Fix you - Coldplay

My top 13 quotes - No particular order

1. Sometimes family is more than just the people under your roof. They’re people who jump in, head first, who aren’t afraid to make fools of themselves to help you, who don’t hide their faces in shame if you fall down.

Alison Hendrix - Orphan Black

Bonus to this one on this show:

Sarah: Whose side are you on, S?

Siobhan: Yours, love. It's always been yours.

2. At the end of the day, you are who you are. And it's probably who you have always been.

Brooke Davis - One tree hill

Bonus:

"So, I’ve been thinking about this whole being happy thing, and I feel like people get lost when they think of happiness as a destination. We’re always thinking that someday we’ll be happy; we’ll get that car or that job or that person in our lives that will fix everything. But happiness is a mood, and it’s a condition, not a destination. It’s like being tired or hungry, it’s not permanent. It comes and goes, and that’s okay. And I feel like if people thought of it that way, they’d find happiness more often."

Julian Baker

3. In peace may you leave this shore.

In love may you find the next.

Safe passage in all your travels.

Until our final journey to the ground,

May we meet again. - The 100

Bonus: Yu Gonplai ste odon. (Your fight is over) - The 100

Honorable mention: "We're back, bitches!" Octavia Blake

4. You are my favorite thing, Peter. My very favorite thing.

Walter Bishop - Fringe

Bonus:

I know what it's like to have a hole in my life. It's been there for as long as I can remember. Olivia Dunham

5. I know how hard it is when everything we know to be true changes. But sometimes all we can do is just accept the way things are, and make the best of that.

Kara Denvers - Supergirl

Bonus:

Forgiveness isn’t something that you give to somebody who’s hurt you. Forgiveness is something you give to yourself.

Alex Denvers

6. Just because life isn’t what you want it to be right now, doesn’t mean you should tear it down.

Regina Mills - Once upon a time

Bonus:

People are gonna tell you who you are your whole life. You just gotta punch back and say, "No, this is who I am". You want people to look at you differently? Make them! You want to change things, you're gonna have to go out there and change them yourself, because there are no fairy godmothers in this world.

Emma Swan

7. Sometimes the best thing you can do is take a step back and give yourself a chance to breathe.

Ella Montgomery - Pretty Little Lies

Bonus:

I am just really tired of living in a state of permanent anxiety.

Spencer Hastings

8. Don't wish away your life, you're exactly where you're supposed to be.

Shelby Corcoran - Glee

Bonus:

Being part of something special does not make you special; something is special because you are a part of it.

Rachel Berry

9. We probably judge ourselves way harsher than anyone judges us.

Ana Gutierrez - The fosters

Bonus:

DNA doesn't make a family, Love does.

Lena Adams Foster

10. You spend your whole life looking for answers because you think the next answer will solve all your problems: make you a little less miserable, because when you run out of questions you don't just run out of answers... you run out hope.

Gregory House - House M.D

Bonus:

I need her in my life. Do you know what it's like to need someone?

I'm sorry I pushed you away. It's what I do when I'm afraid.

Gregory House

11. Being aware of your crap and actually overcoming your crap are two different things.

Cristina Yang - Grey's Anatomy

Bonus:

Don't let what he wants eclipse what you need. He's very dreamy but he's not the sun. You are. - Cristina Yang

Honorable mention: You are my person.

Meredith Grey & Cristina Yang (occasionally, Alex Karev but we're pretending he's dead now, so...)

12. If you leave, then I don't want you to come back. It's too hard saying goodbye like this.

Marissa Cooper - The OC

Bonus:

I can't change where I'm from, but I can change where I'm going.

Ryan Atwood

So, sarcasm’s like breathing for you.

Ryan Atwood

Honorable mention: I’m just having an allergic reaction to the universe.

Seth Cohen

13. If we can't live together, we're going to die alone.

Jack Shephard

Bonus: Don't tell me what I can't do.

John Locke

Honorable mention: Freckles.

Sawyer (James Ford)

0 notes

survivorarabia · 7 years

Text

EPISODE 9 “"Welcome to Survivor: Arabia Where Everyone's Super Paranoid" - Ruthie

Ruthie

I take back every negative thing I've said about Emmott, Aren and Issy I AM LIVING! OH MY GOD, BYE JAY! I AM SO HAPPY RIGHT NOW I AM ABOUT TO PEE MY PANTS, MY FOUR ARE SAFE AND I'VE NEVER FELT SO GOOD AND NICOLE WILL BE BACK SOON AND THIS IS THE FUCKING LIFE RIGHT HERE! <3

Ci’ere

“Lord. Jesus. Hallelujah. So, Jay and I were blindsided last tribal council and for a second there I thought I was actually being voted out. It ended up tying between us and everyone was telling me that I wasn’t the target. Aren, Emmott and Issy decided to flip because Jay was too much of a threat to them apparently. No one informed me about this plan and I even told Aren earlier that I would have done it, but it was too soon to make that move. All it did was give the other side power and puts us 4 in the minority, that is unless they already made deals with old Khiana. I may be at the bottom but I still have a lot of fight left in me and I’m going to do everything in my power to make it through this round. I told them all that I’m playing as a free agent now because obviously no one has my back.”

Richie

IM NEVER LISTENING TO MY SUPEREGO AGAIN!!!!! the plan was that issy/emmott/aren were voting for jay and then alex/lena/ruthie wanted to vote for ciere just in case one of them were lying and the inner me was like GO ROGUE VOTE FOR JAY BE A MESSY BITCH TAKE THIS SHOT AT JAY!!!!!!!! but then i was like hm.... maybe i should be a good alliance member bc even if my gut is right i dont want my alliance to realize how crazy i am because they might want to take me out for being unreliable (which would be smart bc im fucking CRACKED but i dont want them to know how cracked just yet) so i was like fiiiiiine i'll vote ciere BUT THEN JAY GETS RID OF ALEX'S VOTE AND ITS A 3-3 TIE AND IF I HAD JUST VOTED FOR JAY LIKE MY INNER BITCH WANTED TO I WOULDNT HAVE TO BACKTRACK AND EXPLAIN TO ISSY/EMMOTT/AREN WHY I DIDNT VOTE FOR JAY LIKE I SAID I WOULD AND JAY WOULD BE GONE WITHOUT THE REVOTE UGHHHHHHH.......... literally when will the world realize that im always right and stop making me doubt my true powers????

Jay

I'm fucked.

Ci’ere

“Oh and if you’re reading this Lena, I’m sorry about what I said for your vote asdfghjkl; I honestly don’t think you’re of use to my game though and that is the reason why I was okay with voting you out. Plus, I’m kind of jelly you got Kelley Wentworth as your icon. :<”

Alex

AHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA I CAN'T STOP LAUGHING

JAY'S VOTE NULLIFER IS GONNA TAKE HIM OUT OF THE GAME

AHAHAHAHAH THIS IS THE GREATEST DAY OF MY ENTIRE LIFE

I CAN'T STOP BREAKING INTO SONG, I'M FILLED WITH SUCH GLEE

That plan worked....perfectly. And yes, Richie gets to “I told you so!” me forever, but, like, fine. I'll take that! Because Jay's gonna be the second juror, and for the first time in this game, I feel comfortable in my position oh gods I'm going out next aren't I

Julia

DONT YOU DARE TOUCH MY JAY YOU FUCKERS HE IS MENT TO AVENGE ME!! AND CIERE TOO1?!?! MAN MAN OH MAN SLAY THE BEAST SLAY THE BEAST!!!!

Ci’ere

“I feel absolutely alone, as if it’s truly Ci’ere against the world right now. I have tried talking to everyone, but they’re not giving me anything to work with and I feel like I’m still the target. I flopped very hard in the challenge and I’m basically just a sitting duck at this point. I’m not really sure what to say anymore because whenever I try speaking they subtly shut me down. Why wouldn’t you use me, someone with no allies, to make a big move? Alex lost the challenge so why isn’t he being targeted? I’m going to try to get them to make a move. They’re all having a holly jolly time and I’m a snake ready to slither my way through the cracks. I’m not going to give up.”

Alex

youtube

Aren

MWAAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHA! PISS OFF JAY!!! AND THE BEAUTY OF THAT TRIBAL? I WAS THE PERSON THAT ORCHESTRATED THAT WHOLE BOOT! IT WAS ALL ME! THE REASON JAY'S ASS IS SITTING IN PONDY AND MY BOOTY IS STILL IN THIS GAME IS BECAUSE I'M A SMART-BOOTY AND HE'S A DUMB-ASS. LOL K, so, the world's my oyster now -- I'm in the majority, we're gonna send Ci'ere ass home next, then I'm gonna try to make a move on big boi Alex from there. I'm really enjoying this game that I'm playing. I'm going completely CHAOTIC, and I'm lovin' it. I'm just doing whatever the fuck I want, no matter how self-destructive my moves might appear. I'm not here to play the best game (although I am doing that too), I'm just here to reek havoc on these sons-of-bitches that I'm playing with and to shake this bitch of a game up to a whole new level, like a milkshake! Now it's time to dominate immunity and get this done with.

Ruthie

So, today was an interesting day. It started the same way most days do out here on the Island, and okay, just let me get to everything. Alex and I talk everyday, we get each other and I trust him as much as I can trust anyone and I really think he trusts me that way too. In Survivor World we're pretty much married, his thoughts are my thoughts and visa versa. This morning I didn't start out with a "Hey, Good morning!" Or anything even remotely polite, instead I started out with... "This is going to sound super bitchy and may not be the best move with Richie/Lena but I definitely want to take you if I win [the step immunity challenge] and my second will be Nicole since she used an idol on me. I have no idea how many we get to take though. Is that completely dumb?" Then Alex stated in reply. "I was actually gonna suggest exactly the opposite, I would rather you NOT take me and vice versa. If I get the clue I'll tell you & vice versa so I'd rather we try & win points with the people we trust a bit less, personally. Nicole is a fine choice though, I agree with that." That sparked a little something in my brain. I really want to get to the end with Nicole and Alex but I'm not sure how much they actually trust one another, so then my brain had an excellent thought and of course, I told Alex. "THAT IS PERFECT! I may try to take Nicole/Lena and tell them one on one I want an all girls alliance or something." I could tell that he thought this was a good idea. It distanced us and would keep us both safe for weeks to come. His exact reply was, "Fuckin' do it girl." He also had some eggs to cook today in the form of Richie and whoever else, I honestly have no idea who he's going to talk to or form something with but I know he has me and I got him! As the day went on I went about my business but then decided, hey, maybe I should go ahead and try to get something cooking BEFORE we get the results in the event that I win, then I can take Nicole and Lena if I get to take 2 or more people with me on reward. So I decided to send a message to Lena, probably the sweetest person on the entire tribe. "Leeeeena, I kind of have an idea and please tell me if it's dumb or whatever, I've been thinking about it and I want your opinion on it." Lena replied a few moments later saying, "Hey! What's going on?" Then I launched into my story about wanting to start a side alliance with her and Nicole and maybe Issy and I admit, I felt nervous that she was going to go back to Richie and Alex and tell them something but THANKFULLY she did not. She was totally down because she thought that Nicole seemed super loyal. I asked if she wanted to include Issy and she wasn't sure, so I agreed that it probably wasn't our best move right now and that I trusted the two of them way more than I did Issy... which I do. Then I went to Nicole and she was so up for it so fast and agreed although I think she was in the middle of her Immunity Challenge, so whew, I feel so accomplished today. Anyway, I told Alex about my new alliance and I think that this is a GREAT move for the two of us as we try to dwindle down everyone else. <3 He also told Aren that he doesn't want to go to the end with me, so we'll see when or if Aren tells me anything... dun dun dunnnnnn. I once again LOVE where I'm sitting!

Ci’ere

“I literally ask the OG Fawz alliance if we can stick together for this vote because there have been glimmers of hope throughout the day and maybe we can pull something off. Apparently Richie was on the verge of wanting to flip, Alex and Ruthie want each other out, and Emmott mentions Nicole doesn’t hate me lol. Issy was the only person to actually talk to me today and she disagreed with the Jay move that Aren and Emmott pulled. She kept it real with me and said that it seemed like no one wanted to make a move and I definitely respect her for telling me this. Ruthie and Nicole tell me they’re gonna vote for Issy and while I don’t think they’re telling the truth, I don’t have very many options so I’m just gonna go with that.”

Lena

so.... i got the idol..... I'm shaking. I cannot believe this. I haven't told anyone yet and I'm REALLY nervous to. I want to tell my alliance of Ruthie, Richie, and Alex but.. I'm really nervous to do that. That's like half of the people who are still in the game. I'm not going against them any time soon but.. I just don't know right now. I'm really glad I found it though. and obviously I'm really glad I got immunity and reward this time too

Aren

Y'know what I'm really, really bloody enjoying? The view. The picturesque, almost artistic viewpoint from the top of my palace as I watch all of my pathetic tribemates battle it out like peasants after the aftermath of my big move on Jay last vote... It's quite wonderful, really. It just proves how much these people are maggots whilst I'm sitting here like total royalty.

This vote can really go one of two ways. It can either go the easy, obvious way -- and Ci'ere can be sent home. Or, we can take a more unconventional route to this tribal-council and make an effort to blindside Alex instead. It's ultimately looking like Ci'ere, but... Mmm, I truly am craving that Alex blindside like he's a big, fat, tasty, tender slice of thick medium-rare steak. (I'm hungry right now, alright?)

Ruthie

youtube

I may deeply regret these when the episodes come out... bahahah. Especially filming these with no make up and my hair looking like I'm really living on an Island. Things are seeming quiet on and off for Arabia, I kind of wonder what's going on with everyone. I know we have some people sleeping but still, I don't like when I don't know what is happening!

youtube

Shouldn't Emmott know by now that Alex and I are solid and we tell one another everything? Maybe it's a good thing that he doesn't know and that we are trying to distance ourselves a bit, who knows. Anyway, Emmott showed me a screenshot of Alex agreeing with him that I was good at this game and just, how is that going to make me want Alex out? Alex warned me what he was telling Emmott before hand, and it doesn't surprise me that Emmott is weaseling around, playing every side. I've told him before I think he plays a good game that way and I really do, but everyone is cautious of him.

youtube

I just don't get good vibes from Aren, I don't at ALL. I think he's a little sneak that is going to win this entire game if he gets far enough. I do like him as a person but I just don't trust him at all but if Alex thinks they are solid then... whatever. I think our best bet is going to be pulling Ci'ere in and maybe putting up Emmott/Issy tonight but literally no one has been on and who even KNOWS what's going to happen tonight. I just hope that Alex, Nicole and I are safe so I can somehow manage to make it to final 3 if the other two don't try to take one another out of the game first!

youtube

Aren

OHMYGOD AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH THIS VOTE IS SO CHAOTIC AAA PLEASE HELP ME I'M ABOUT TO F A I N T SO LIKE ALEX's NAME CAME UP THEN RUTHIE'S THEN CI'ERE THEN ALEX WAS LIKE YO WE SHOULD SPLIT THE VOTES ON CI'ERE & ISSY THEN ISSY STARTED FREAKING OUT AND SLAPPING ON MY ASS FOR TAKING JAYO UT AND NOW IM CRYING A LOT WAHHH WAHH WAH

Ruthie

LENA AND NICOLE WHERE THE FUCK ARE YOU GUYS SO YOU CAN AGREE TO VOTE ISSY WITH ME? If they don't show up for some reason we will probably all vote for Emmott real quick instead because who would play an idol on him? LOL. Watch someone play the idol on him now and me be voted out, but yeah. I'm nervous tonight, not for myself so much, but for Alex. I'm going to work on my speech again. <3

Alex

WHEW, so much has happened since we last spoke, where to begin Lena won Immunity, so that's great. She took Nicole and Ruthie, just as planned, and we got the Idol clue – no Idol, anywhere. We tried, nothing. Ugh. So we have to assume Issy or Ci'ere has it. So then, the vote discussion has to happen. Initially Aren is the only one to throw a name out, saying we should take out Ci'ere. I suspect this is because he has something going with Issy & Emmott, but whatever, I'll humor him, we'll see what people are doing. THEN I get word that Emmott, spastic little shit, is throwing MY name around, so we're gonna need to fix that. But.......nobody's biting. Weirdly so. Odd, but okay. If I can't get him out this time, at least I know where he stands. Plus, we engage in my favorite game of “bait people into giving up incriminating information,” using my usual mouthpiece, Ruthie. She plays along with Emmott, then goes to Aren and has a realtalk about if it's the right move for now. Luckily, Aren agrees it's not the right move THIS round without her even having to prompt him, so that's good. Of course, he's also not told me Ruthie “is after me,” so, hmm. But still, I trust him for this vote. Eventually we decide to split the votes 4-3, guys on Ci'ere, girls on Issy, so if she plays the Idol on Ci'ere, Issy goes home and we lol at two reward items taking out two players consecutively. But this is really the round where seeds of doubt are starting to take hold. Lena is agreed that Richie can't be trusted; Richie is starting to show signs of wavering against Ruthie, which is exactly what I want! I don't want this Family to be the final 4, but I also don't want to be the first one to make the move. So this is perfect for me. I'm taking out people I'm not close to, I'm starting to fracture the alliance without overtly being the one to do it, it's flawless. And, on top of that, Lena has the Idol after all! That's fantastic, so we're maneuvering the vote to land on Ci'ere anyway. Unless there's two Idols, we should be in the clear tonight, and then the sailing gets way smoother for Alex. Anyway I'm about to get voted out cause I just said all that, EL OH ELL!

Lena

I decided to tell Ruthie and Alex about the idol. I decided to not include Richie in on the news so far because he seems to be slipping away from us.. The old farts (myself, Ruthie, and Alex) are even tighter than before. But I also have this alliance going with Ruthie and Nicole and I'm really liking it with them too. So I have options. Alex is very threatening and could prevent me from winning though.. So we have to see

Ci’ere

“Right before tribal council, Alex of all people tells me that Aren had told him I was an immunity threat and I probably had an idol. He also says that if I actually have an idol that I should play it, WELL I DON’T HAVE ONE. Aren had brought up my past gameplay from an entirely different org and brought it to this one which is seriously upsetting when I’m trying to start fresh here. I confront Aren and he unsurprisingly ignores me. This kid is faker than my tits. I have been nothing but loyal to him this entire game and we’ve worked together on three tribes and then he decides to destroy the games of everyone he’s working with… I have no words.”

Richie

i feel so weird??? i feel like im playing such a different game than i expected myself to play???? my only real survivor org experience was kauai where i won the first 3 immunities in a row post merge and i always was in the know and plotting and being messy and playing hard and the target that i felt on me made me play even harder and messier and try and play proactive and be in control at all times........ but this time its not like that????? i'm not any more safe... i merged with minority numbers on my side so its not like im complacent and safe in a majority??? its just like i dont care??? okay its not that i dont care because i care a lot... but its just like i dont CARE about whats going on as long as i know i'm safe... its a lot more reactionary game and trying to play UTR, just forming social relationships with everyone in this game regardless of side (but not TOO strong bc i dont want people to feel like super betrayed when i vote them out or see me as this fake bitch (which i am lbr)) idk i just feel like i should be doing more for a resume at the end and bc i find joy out of PLAYING this game but for now the less i get involved the less mess is attached to my baggage with people in this game and thats what i'm hoping for right now..... i dont really know whats going on with this vote, my alliance is saying either vote out issy or ciere or split the votes and theres drama where alex told aren about the plan and aren told emmott so theres a mess of distrust so i guess i do know whats going on... i'd like to vote for ciere because thats what i told aren and issy i was doing and if he goes i want to not have a history of lying with them bc so far i've been playing the weak innocent middle man card with that side so i dont want to fuck that image up EVEN THO RUTHIEEEEEEEE TOLD ISSY THAT SHE WAS AFRIAD THE "KHIANA BOYS" WERE AFTER HER... SMH @RUTHIE I LOVE YOU BUT I HATE YOU FOR THAT!!!!! im trying to make it seem like im so beyond the khiana vs fawz lines and be like we're all one race, the human race <3 ynadfhajkdhfks anywayyyyyyys idk what i'm going to do tonight ill prob just vote ciere and hope for the best.... anyone but me right?

Aren

Welp... It's pretty fucking obvious at this point. I'm officially the unlucky dumbass that the Survivor Gods have elected as victim for tonight's tribal! The virgin sacrifice! It's a shame because for the whole day, it was just - Alex, Ci'ere, Alex, Ci'ere, Alex, Ci'ere. My name was still just a fart in the wind at that point... And THEN, all of a sudden in the last hour or so, BOOM! My name popped out like a surprise erection! It was crazy!!! But, YE lol I think I'm fucked lololloloollollololo its da aren is fukked parteh nd evry1 iz invytid!!!1111 lollolloollo

Ci’ere

“As far as I know, I’m unfortunately being voted out tonight and this will be my last confessional. :,( I didn’t want myself or my allies to go out in vain though so I made a cute little speech that will hopefully inspire people to make moves after I’m eliminated! Anyways, it’s been real Arabia~ This experience has been amazing and I’m so glad that I was able to meet all of you! Note: I just want you all to know that I did everything I could and even when it was 8 vs. 1 I didn’t give up. Bye <3”

#survivornightmare #masstag #confessionals

0 notes