#ah yes psychology
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like? Falin didn't enjoy being at magic school. She had all of one friend who was a teacher that continues to act like she's not a grown ass woman half the time capable of making her own decisions. SHe skipped class most of the time to go hang out in a cave. Her classmates frienquently shit talked about her in hearing range.
Her brother who she loves a whole lot who gets her better than just about anone else that she hadn't seen in years turned up emaciated and filthy and was surprised that she decided to go back with him when he was just dropping by to say hello.
But sure, he forced her to drop out of school and hang out with him being near homeless and starving and working odd jobs often without pay. Clearly, it wasn't like she could have left him at any point it was not like he had any means of keeping her with him against her will.
#nix meows#spoilers#dungeon meshi#laios touden#falin touden#touden siblings#ah yes somehow a starving skinny penniless Laios who does not have the skills or experience to emotionaly or psychologically manipulate#her forced her to drop out of school and hang out with him on the streets#its not like she had any kind of choice in the matter#some of yall really hate laios for reasons I don't understand and don't wish to understand
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if i wrote a comprehensive analysis of reading into otto's character from a queer lens (with extensive text citations) would you read it bc ive thought way too much about this for the sake of my silly anime fanfiction okay. i know too much about this topic now and i gotta let the energy out <33
#my thesis is that otto is so into subaru and all the animators keep shipping ottosuba (says the rz ottosuba shipper blog) and then#tappei goes “....huh did i just write otto being gay for subaru bc fans keep asking if ottos gay for subaru. huh. ........maaaybe”#the other part of my thesis is that otto is transphobic towards subaru-as-natsumi despite subaru being his crush for Reasons and that#otto cant be normal about relationships bc of *insert psychological analysis about his life*#theres just sooooo sooooo much subtext from ottos end that i just gotta ok i gotta. i gotta. when. when i got time. i prommys </3 if no one#else will i will <3#i started posting my more polished analysis stuff on rz reddit a little while ago but i think if i posted an otto queer subtext analysis id#speedrun myself into getting banned LJDFLJD oh well. very worth it.#listen today i got commplimented by my writing professor for having great writing and analysis and inside i was thinking#ah yes bc i write#anime meta in my free time LDSFJ but im flattered i just let the adhd take over!!!!#and once again if youre someone whos sent me an ask that i havent answered yet ill get to it eventually HAH <3#suffaru post
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The hatred I have for my mother grows every day!!!! Woman why are you like this!!! I am your CHILD!!!
#ah yes give your vegetarian child with an ed meat hidden in their food i am sure that won't affect them psychologically in any way#i basically only use this acc for personal use an venting at this point but aghhhhqwbdhqb i am frustrated
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Day 30 - Bridal Carry
Military setting, captivity, abandoned, implied past torture, fever, respiratory illness, carried, successful rescue
[Directly follows Finish Line]
Time crawled on, thick as molasses in that cold tomb. Harrison had expected it to slip away from him, like water between his fingers, but it didn’t. It was laboriously slow in its march, molasses on a cold day.
He couldn’t focus enough to count his breaths, not after 2059, when a cough wracked his fever addled brain. He was so fucking cold. How was he so cold? This was the desert, wasn’t it?
No matter how hard he tried to remember, he couldn’t quite pin down the country. Maybe it was Mexico, or France, or Georgia, or Poland, or Spain, or Canada - all that came to mind was the knowledge that he had been hot, and the sun had been bright.
Now he was cold, and the darkness was drowning him.
That, and the sickness rattling in his lungs.
He almost didn’t hear the distant scrape of metal over his wheezing, wet breaths. He was dimly aware it was a door that led to the primary holding cells. A selfish, irrational part of him hoped to hear another prisoner’s pleas. The terrified, desperate part of him knew there were no prisoners left to torture.
Save for him.
The door to the Box was heavy, a thick slab of stone without hinges. It took two men to pry it open enough to shove him in here. If he had been lucid enough to care, he could only hear a single set of footsteps.
He flinched at the sound of the stone being moved, eyes flitting around in panic. The Box was a small, sparse, space; two men could stand inside together, albeit in great discomfort. Harrison was alone, and had enough space to curl his knees to his chest where he sat on the cold ground.
A terrible place to be if his captors wanted to kick in his already broken ribs.
Strain as he may, he didn’t have the strength to stand - was he shivering again or were his muscles really trying to haul his skeletal frame from the floor? So he tucked his head down, hoping to at least protect his teeth from the blows.
He kept his eyes open, relief flooding his blood as light filtered into the inky darkness. The fear of pain and the joy of sight were a tangled knot in his chest, but the fear won as a hand grabbed his shoulder.
His eyes snapped shut, a ragged growl catching on his raw throat. He sank as deeply as he could into the shallow alcove, as futile as it was.
The person above him was speaking, words garbled and foreign to his ears. It wasn’t Arabic, or Spanish, or Russian - he wasn’t even sure if it was English, his muddled mind too tired to parse the sounds.
All he knew were the hands prying him from his corner of hell peace The Box to drag him to a fresh interrogation cell lined with the ghosts of his dead friends -
He cracked an eye open, surprised that they were letting him struggle against their hold for so long. Did they forget the cattle prod?
He blinked once. Twice. His body fell limp in their arms. It wasn’t a captor he recognized.
Were they new? New was bad. New meant they would try something new. Or go back to the old that hadn’t worked then, but might work now.
“Stay with me, Sargent.” The hand that cradled his head to their chest was firm but gentle, calloused and cold. “Fuck, you’re burning up.”
Their accent was thick, and the thought of a western cowboy rescuing him was enough to bring a bubbled of laughter from his heaving ribs. The stranger sighed, their frustration far less gentle than their hands. Harrison’s short lived outburst was silenced by a frantic coughing fit spurred by his attempt to be quiet.
“Breathe for me soldier, be a shame to come all the way out here for you to choke on your own spit.” There was a softness to their words as they loosened their hold on his shaking shoulders. He slumped forward back into their arms, legs too weak to hold his weight. “Christ - I’m gonna pick you up, alright?”
Harrison managed a wobbly nod before strong arms hoisted him into a bridal carry. His vision warped as they began to walk, the reality reeling in his fevered fears. He cautiously let his eyes drift to the soldier’s face.
They were angelic, haloed by the old, yellowed fluorescent bulbs of the compound. A clean shaven jawline chiseled from marble and clear, warm, brown eyes sharp as they scanned the path forward.
“W-wh…o?” The word was barely audible, wheezed from a throat hoarse from screams and lungs heavy with infection. Those sharp eyes fixed his own blurry gaze with a tenderness that rumbled from their chest as they spoke.
“Agent Walker. Let’s get you home, Sargent Harrison.”
[Directly before Alone]
(Part of my Freelancers: Swansong series)
#whump#whumptober#whumptober2023#no. 30#bridal carry#oc#whump writing#military#captivity#abandoned#implied torture#past trauma#fever#respiratory illness#carried#rescue#freelancers#ah yes the meet-cute to end all meet-cutes:#your future Texan wife carried you out of a government sponsored unethical psychological experiment bunker in Nevada <3 how romantic
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A book rec list can be something that's so
#what would a guy with millenias of repression and barely acknowledged religious trauma read#ah yes. psychology and biases‚ thematically appropriate manga‚ the tech that he's supposedly a patron of‚ his bf's thesis#10/10 Gabe you're doing amazing
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Me; deciding to major in psychology: Oh hey this is a cool new thing!
Everyone else: Good job figuring out what we already knew
#I'm confused?#Everyone's reaction is 'ah yes clearly'#Psychology is the cool rock I found on the ground#And now it's mine#This is never something I saw myself doing#But hey#Psych major
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Holy shit i just had a realization that this dude character (Jesse > now Augustijn because it sounds more pretensious) is literally just Hannibal Lector if he were a good person who tried his best to help people, but. Was still a cannibal, at least once (potentially twice)
#HE EVEN DOES RHE FUCKING.#DUMBASS PSYCHOLOGICAL THERAPY SHIT#*sees piper eat some gum* ah yes#chewing gum#something to put between your teeth — a most hostile place — to grind down until its purpose has been drained from it like blood to bat.#tell me ms wright#what do you like about it?#is it the clarity of the sugars?#the excuse to grind your jaw? to keep your mouth busy?#i suffer similar urges you know. i always found it fascinating#how animalistic it is#to have the urge to chew#to taste something bleed itself on your tongue#i wonder miss wright#what it is you /really/ desire to bite into#a good story i assume! and how noble it is of you to seek the truth#but what truth?#yours?#or perhaps there is another story of the same scene that is also true#yet does not bleed cherry in your mouth.#would you spit it out?
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guess who wrote a sequel to that one fix she absolutely didn’t need to write a sequel for but wanted to anyways
#tw murder#tw death#ah yes psychological guilt#because i decided kaveh didn't suffer enough in the last one#genshin impact#alhaitham#kaveh#confusion's works and musings
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Soooo... I didn't continue this (extra heretic) headcanon of mine from this post but now that we are here...
So I want to begin by saying that the whole KDL2 and KDL3 events happened mostly due to a personal vendetta plus some other reasons... But mostly due to the former.
You'll see why:
FAR, FAR BEFORE ANY OF THIS EVER HAPPENED
While Nightmare and Zero hadn't directly interacted yet, they did know about each other. Zero saw Nightmare as a very well-put and organized businessman with a great trajectory. Nightmare on the other hand thought of Zero as an intellectual with an excellent sense of strategy and leadership, although a bit unfocused calling him "a lazy genius".
Zero has really never found Nightmare to be a threat in spite of the latter's habit of conquering and destroying planets and civilizations. Not until, Nightmare attempted to get him to join, Zero always maintained a negative posture towards this proposition, however, this wouldn't stop Nightmare from meddling with what's not his...
Consisting of stealing Dark Matter for business profits and other nefarious things, this made Zero very angry and declared enmity with Nightmare ever since.
The few times they did interact physically almost always ended in a hostile note. This reached its peak when Nightmare came to the main Dark Matter cumulus and came to ask Zero for one last time to leave their differences aside and invited him to join him in his conquering.
Zero still denied the offer and before he could even do something, Nightmare quickly drew a sword and cut his head off. Of course, Zero didn't die since he's immortal, he furiously picked his head off the ground with the intention of getting immediate revenge but Nightmare was already long gone.
But, this didn't die here, this was just the beginning of everything...
The occasion arose when NOVA invited Zero to attempt to solve some past differences (will be explained later). Nightmare (nobody knows how...) managed to find them and began taunting Zero over the last time they met. Zero had a plan, a very risky and even borderline stupid plan, but he had a plan.
Zero got into a defensive position, which Nightmare took as a challenge and drew his sword out. Zero quickly proceeded to turn to NOVA and ripped one of her magical parts.
Nightmare still didn't budge.
This was just what he needed, of course, NOVA's magic is light magic in its purest form, using it meant that either this was going to be a definite win or would get the two of them severely hurt (even killed), since both are beings of negative energy.
Zero ran towards Nightmare and so did his opponent, Nightmare brandished his weapon but this time, Zero did manage to avoid his attack and kept briefly avoiding and blocking Nightmare's attacks until he saw the perfect moment, put the weapon to work and lanced Nightmare with it, while quickly trying to get away as fast as he could.
Nightmare screamed in agony, and while Zero was also hurt, it wasn't nearly as bad as Nightmare. He managed to make Nightmare go away for a long time and that's all that mattered.
Of course, he knew he would eventually appear, either by his own accord or someone would be stupid enough to summon him.
With this in mind, Zero basically dedicated himself for the longest time to find the people who awoke Nightmare up, kill them and enclose Nightmare all over again (skipping the first two steps in case there was no one to blame); becoming a sort of legend in the process.
His most successful attempt at locking him away was at the Dream Fountain, while risky (for the same reasons of using NOVA's artifacts), it seemed to really keep him there for a very long while.
Now, even when Nightmare wasn't active, he obviously had his subordinates doing his job, Zero also went on his way to eliminate all of them... or at least he thought he took all of them out.
Nightmare's most successful and loyal worker, The Salesman, managed to run away from Zero's deadly grip and enlarge the presence of Nightmare's business across other corners of the galaxy while he wasn't present.
FAST FORWARD TO THE ANIME
Escargoon and Dedede sign a contract with eNeMe Enterprises as part of an FTA and while Nightmare wasn't awake, The Salesman was sure doing everything possible to make sure Dreamland was next to be conquered, while also avoiding Zero at all coasts.
Year after year of unsuccessful attempts at conquering Dreamland (therefore Pop Star), the FTA was broken by the King's side, leaving both Escargoon and DDD with a huge debt impossible to pay and The Salesman roaming around away from Zero's reach.
FAST FORWARD TO NIGHTMARE IN DREAMLAND
Kirby and Dedede foolishly get Nightmare out of his enclosure and its both's duty to get him back into the Dream Fountain.
In another part of the Galaxy, Zero was informed of Nightmare's presence around and that two fools managed to succesfully bring him back on Pop Star. Zero was usually characterized for being very stoic and composed, even in dire situations, at most, he was usually a victim of silent rage episodes. Not this time, Zero was completely furious and out of his usual element, the other Dark Matters were completely scared, as seeing him being this out-of-control state was a (terrifying) rarity.
After briefly calming down, Zero plotted a raid on Dreamland, to search for every corner of the planet and bring in the people responsible of releasing Nightmare back so he can kill them.
Even when in the middle of being his plan he was told that he was enclosed again by the same people, he was still adamant to have them executed since he couldn't trust they wouldn't bring Nightmare back again.
AND SO KDL2 BEGAN
Zero sent the Dark Matter twins (and other drones) to start the invasion in Dreamland, in search for the two nimrods responsible for initially releasing Nightmare. The first one being located was the king and while he tried to fight back it was futile.
Kirby on the other hand, dark matters really never thought he could throw hands so efficiently and he sure was giving them the challenge of their lives.
By the end of this journey, Kirby had to get Dark Matter out of Dedede's body to give the final fight and drive all dark matters away from Dreamland, which he succeeded and took the two (very injured) twins out of Dreamland.
But things weren't remotely done...
In spite of the twins' failure to bring them with his leader to make those two pay for their tomfoolery, Zero knew that wasting time moping served for nothing, and took matters into his own hands.
PLANNING FOR KDL3 TO HAPPEN
Zero went on his way to seek for those two morons, of course, now it was easier since, he was told where he could find both the king and the kid. And now he set himself to shroud every corner in Pop Star with his presence, he was not going to let them escape from him any time soon.
He sure was really good at giving the heroes something to be occupied... Specially now that Dedede was so close to be executed, not before having a drone use his body as a puppet (again).
And sure, Dedede was going to be used to subdue Kirby and then have them both killed.
But even with all the momentum and Dedede at his feet, Zero suffered from the same results of his most experienced fighters, and with the little strength he had left, took all of himself away from Pop Star.
POST-... ALL OF THIS
After disappearing from Pop Star, Zero, just like the twins, got thrown into a pile of Dark Matter that allowed him to heal completely, because of his injuries and boy did it take him time...
While he didn't invade Pop Star again, and he's glad that Nightmare hasn't come back with his fuckery, he keeps holding a deep grudge against Kirby and Dedede, mostly towards Kirby and has remained like that even up to Star Allies.
#admin talks#headcanon#ah yes I forgot that nightmare is also a swordsman... oh well!#and no i'm not depicting zero as a hero he's not...#he just hates nightmare that much he doesn't only make him disappear he kills others that try to make them exist at the same time...#he has a phd in psychology a masters in literature and another phd in hater-ology#kirby zero#nightmare kirby#n.m.e salesman#nova kirby#dark matter swordsman#dark matter#kirby#king dedede#tw: decapitation#tw: murder
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thinking about how Hisoka started out not wanting any material things to help him sleep because he wanted to be able to fall asleep in any situation, even uncomfortable ones, and how Mankai gradually gifted him things to help him sleep, that he first was warry about but soon enough he started to collect
and the boy who started out with nothing in his corner of his room now has a good pillow, countless plushies, which he always considers is a perfect gift, expertise on good pillows, an eyemask for sleeping purpose, welcoming cozy blankets, and even appropriated himself the coffin in the storage room for perfect napping spot, coffin that he filled with pillows and plushies and find ways to keep locked shut so Tasuku doesn’t drag him out of it (or else he becomes evil on purpose), and now he gets to complain everytime someone slightly disturb his sleep.
He agreed on rooming with Homare because he had such a deep sleep that he would have in theory not been bothered by his loud behavior, and instead he grew more and more irritated with it the more people taught him about cocooning because now his sleep is sacred.
And the lonely “nothing allowed to sleep” rhetoric, was traded with “gotta be hugging something no matter what” which led him to have nap and cuddle buddies like Azuma.
And i think it’s really just a peak character arc, to be someone who denied himself all sort of little comfort to not get used to it, to then become an hedonist plushy bot constantly seeking comfort he’s now allowed and expected to have. As he deserves.
#ichatalks about a3#also ngl rant inspired by the fact i just put a hot bottle and a hot-plushy with me under my two covers to watch tv#on my sofa covered in 27 plushies and 6 pillows and i'm just ah yes this is the life#and as someone who also denied myself all of that just a few years ago and had to slowly learn to spoil myself#only for it now to be completely out of control but also just the coziest cozy of the whole cozy world?#I see Hisoka's arc of looking for comfort with pure glee. This is what healing is all about.#Comfy.#i also sleep with a sleep eyemask so like#i' was always bothered by slight lights during sleep and would cover them when i could else i'd be soo annoyed#and a few years ago i was crashing at a friend's place when i left my mom's house#and i couldn't keep the shutter closed bc it was summer and we needed to have all the air inside#so my friend - very concerned - bought me an eyemask and i was just. so confused. because i never considered it a possibility#tried it on and now? I'm content with any eyemask i can have. It's truly really the sleepy comfy mode.#like my plush collection only really started when i was like. 24?#it really started end 2019 and i'm just doing the math but i think i was already a3ing at the time#and to me it was just screw it i deserve plushies it's good to have a pal to hug. And now look at me.#Basically my point is the specific card of Hisoka wearing a massive scarf an eyemask and his Pen Pen plushy is where i'm at psychologically#ANYWAY.#Rambling over i just love Hisoka very much
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'attacking your rival ship is bad guys😓😥🥺🥺' shut the fuck up.
heres the 100th reason why melvin is Toxic And Unhealthy and shouldnt be endgame.
#is it really attacking if im jusy watching the show and going 'huh thats fucking weird'#no. im just smart and cool and not blind#also im not cross tagging like sorry multishippers but you should expect to see certain people bullying other ships in their own ship tag#bc its analysis#and if analysis leads u to the conclusion that 'oh they shld break up frfr' then thats where it leads you#not on us blame the writers for either intentionally making it weird or like idk being freud stans or smthn??#bc all the hopper mike parallels in relation to el ('bitchin') are either to show its actually familial love#or the duffers just think psychodynamic psychology is the way to go#ah yes el like mike bc mike like her dad👍👍👍#byler#tag heavy post again im so sorry this always happens
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like I'm not even sure what it is but across so many work industries it's always the grunt level worker who is to blame apparently. any excuse in the book to counter what you say or did. you feel like you're going nuts, I'm reasonably reflective and can see where something went wrong or where I can do better. does this make any sense?
#the main thing i keep getting pulled up on is my lateness or lack of communication with management#also that i tend to step over perceived boundaries according to managerial points of view/standards#idk it's hard to explain when you're hearing like#oh you're great but keep doing these things and we know you do it on purpose#also you don't know the secret old people cleaning code that only old people know#well why wasn't i told? why is it when i ask they say yes but there's actually something else they need#everyone is different i am giving you the option to express that need and if you say no how is this my fault for respecting that?#what is common sense?#which seems to be more in line with the like. can't please everyone thing TBH#maybe just want to take me down a peg and assert managerial dominance on the lowly barely above minimum wage (like fuckin $24 ph lol) staff#i don't intend to stay long or try ladder climb#also when i said that they said well you only work like part time why should you get more#i said then it'd be even more negative as I'd be getting underpaid doubly so for extra work#i try to say i hurt myself with all the cleaning but yeah nah other staff don't have this issue it must be you#i don't believe that#hell it even pissed me off when i said i wanted to do psychology/mental health#and maybe I'm wrong to say this but that mental game of saying ah well are you sure you could do that?#not to be twitter but it reminds me of abusive relationship power dynamics
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it’s literally so hard for me to Choose which game i actually like best in the series because like. there’s specific things that i do genuinely like about each one, but just as many things i actively dislike. in a weird way it all kinda balances out, if that makes sense??
like if i was asked on the spot i would most likely say sr1?? it’s the most cohesive plot-wise imo and i think has some of the strongest written characters/stories comparatively. but i really appreciate the intensity and stakes of sr2. and i really loved the syndicate/new characters and themes of srtt. and well ok i did Not like sr4 BUT i think the psychological horror of the personal hells/simulations was great and some interesting ideas were put forward but executed very poorly.
i’m working on like a. vague rewrite/AU of sorts to kinda streamline concepts from srtt and sr4 into something a little more. believable and in-line with the tone of the first two.
#it’s like. i love the world of sr as one big concept in my head. i love the journey of the boss#just kinda wish things stayed a little more. grounded?#it’s always been a parody yes but parody is not a strictly comedic avenue of storytelling#so when it really just. jumped the shark in sr4 i was like. ah. hm. no thanks😭😭#again though if you love that game i love that for you. like i said i LOVED the psychological horror elements it had#and i’m leaning into that with my little AU thing.
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broke the news to my parents that i didn't want to study medicine anymore and the look on their faces 🥴🥴
#tp#ah yes disappointing my family. my favourite hobby.#my mom even said that she was a mix of disappointed and sad and taken aback and idk what to do with that information lol#i feel so extremely bad for not wanting to study med anymore but...#gosh i am so close to caving in and continuing to reach for med just bc they're reacting this badly :')#i want to study psychology i think#yeah#i want to help children and teens and young adults who need help but don't know how to get it#and i want to help them with the struggles that they can't tell anyone else they know#and i want to just#idk. i just want to help them.#bc (this is going to sound so fucking cliche but—) no one helped me.#oml i just said that 💀💀
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#i feel like a human being. the ocean is healing. maybe the unbearable urge i get to throw myself into it at my recurring worst is just the#physical extreme in an attempt to submerge myself completely and be so healed.#unsure. further research required.#but - my circuits are not offended by saying such words. it is a possibility my wiring yields to.#la mer...perfect water true be sure. bells in random order. water cleanses you know...in water#angel's thanatos. psychologically then it is no wonder that i seek out similar comfort to that roar and thunder.#the ocean. yes. and the sweet pungent smell of grass and its animals. and all the thousand million familiarities of home and soul that are#lacking in the desert which i like all of its stubborn inhabitants have dug tenacious claw into.#it's true that - the rabbit and the tortoise and seven bugs of increasing manner. all clawed beasts. the desert grows claws in the softest#fish. it's necessary for life in the rocks. i already had claws from scrabbling at sheer metal my whole life. the cage they put me in. my#whole existence i've only ever wanted the rat park but instead - instead - and so i have grown claws and watch everything with owl's eyes.#ah. kahreta i get carried away. the grass and depth of things and blue shadow...#the wind tosses playfully they say. i do not speak. it sings in a voice never described of knowledge and sorrows of travel which i know#from past life and the memory of my born flesh. that which sent me. that which loves me#that which brings me back for want of. i know how all the world will work for observation of the part but i am drawn like gentle moth#to a glass globe of light the familiar sun. the moth is immortal and there has only ever been one. silver secrets i hear from the moon#out here at least i am not alone in a way that matters.#words i speak#nonsense#the beach#sand#blue#shadows#photo#photos#beautiful#beach
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the way I determine whether or not to start a media that I’m not sure if I’ll like or not is to go on ao3 and check the additional tags filter.
Those filters says a lot about the fandom and the media imo.
#fanfiction#ao3#hays rambles#if there’s a lot of fluff tags and canon divergent you KNOW the actual story is angsty as hell#it’s a ficky but generally an ao3 fandom that writes a lot of angst but more fluff definitely implies that the canon story is a world of pai#n. ah yes my favourite pastime#torturing myself by getting attached to fictional characters and witnessing them going through unimaginable mental psychological and#physical torture#yum yum#if there isn’t an ao3 page for the fandom of the media then ill go crouch in the corner and be sad for five hours
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