#again really loved it will be buying the dvd so I have a physical copy
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ok but going back to my post from a while ago about one of my main frustrations with the Barbie Movie and it's ending and how as a creator the whole "ideas live forever" dichotomy not being compelling enough
I think the real reason is not that I'm a creator and I want and need for once to just be the created. I think it's that it's the wrong choice for the film. Whenever you have a movie that has this "magical" character who ends the movie by joining the friends they made in the "normal" world, it's either because they don't fit in their original world and have reason to want to leave it behind as a sort of reverse escape fantasy, or because their world is now too different from what they want and need and by staying in the "normal" world they find the fulfillment they now know they need. Barbie doesn't have either of those things. The closest to an outcast is Weird Barbie and while it's hard to tell where her role is in the community at large, she is obviously quite content and has no problem with her life. Our Barbie is "stereotypic" Barbie, she has tons of friends and things to do. All of the Barbies (and the Kens, in their own way) do. They all have jobs and roles in the community and purpose; everyone in Barbieland has raison d'être, which is essential for life. When a "magical" character feels the need to leave for the "normal" world, its because now or originally, they lack purpose in their world. Barbie didn't and wouldn't.
In the tags of my first post I compared the Barbie Movie to the Last Unicorn because there's a lot of similarities there. Of needing to leave your perfect home to go find something bigger than yourself and change it to save everyone else and preserve who you are, but then being fundamentally changed by it against your will. At the end of the Last Unicorn, Amalthea returns to live with the freed unicorns, back where she belongs but distressed because despite the other unicorns having spend a few decades trapped in the foam of the ocean, she is the only one to truly know sadness. I understand why she left but I've always felt it was the wrong choice, that she grew up away from the other unicorns and was far too changed, that she should stay with her friends who had proven themselves to be ride or die. In the Barbie Movie, Barbie leaves where she belongs to go live a life that, honestly, is what a lot of other people think she should lead and which she goes to because the woman is super easily influenced by peer pressure and a handful of more "leadership oriented 'Barbies'" think it's a good idea for her. She left Babieland, was changed, but came back to a place that was similarly changed. She is not Amalthea, who was changed and goes to return to the unchanged.
Anyhow I started writing this and then realized my initial thought of "why should Barbie leave for the real world, the idea that living as an idea would now be unfulfilling falls flat for her because she comes from a place where the ideas all have a reason to be" had way more to it but it's raining something awful and my head fucking hurts so I'm gonna just tag this as barbie movie and hit post
#barbie movie#again really loved it will be buying the dvd so I have a physical copy#but it's got some flaws that aren't glaring for some but are light LED high beams for me
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I wander around the large room, half heartedly looking at each different pile of vinyls, CDs and DVDs, not really paying attention to any of them; Even when I take a few moments to flick through the occasional heap, there is nothing that I'd be willing to pick up a second time. To this day, I never really understand why you'd want to waste a perfectly good CD to put some music on it. That IS what vinyls are for, after all.
Normally, I wouldn't be in an old music selling shop like this. After all, I have nothing back at home that I could play any of these things on even if I did want to buy something. That has more to do with the fact that I can always go looking up what I want to listen to, instead of having a physical copy of my music that has to be kept in cases when not being listened to so that it is kept safe. The only reason I am here at all is for my best friend.
My cbildhood best friend, Rory Culkin, is currently in a completely different area of the shop and is still staring down into a box in front of him; Exactly how he was a few minutes ago when I left him looking through the same section of vinyls that has some of his favourite artists stashed in between the albums of people neither of us have heard of.
Seeing Rory looking like he is spacing out while he is reading the back of the vinyl cover in his hands is something that I don't think will ever get old for me. He seems so at peace when he is in a place like this. Over the course of our friendship have we come to some sort of compromise when it comes to places we want to go to with each other when we hang out. Old shops filled with music from from the 70s to the 90s is one of the places he brings me. As much as I don't really like the places themselves, they become more bearable to be in when I get to see him like this.
He finishes reading the back of the vinyl before a smile spreads itself over his face and he turns his head to look through the surrounding towers of different types of music for me. Our eyes meet and for a second, everything stops. Through this brief connection, I once again have a brief mental flash of there being more between us. A future, maybe. More, perhaps.
The image, like always, goes just as quick as it comes as he makes his way over, the vinyl he had read still in his hands. He closes the distance between us and is standing before me, almost grinning with that gentle smile of his.
"I've found it. I've found that vinyl I was telling you about the other week. This is what I am going to have playing when I propose to Samantha."
In this moment, my stomach almost folds in on itself. Samantha isn't typically easy to forget but until he said that, I forgot she existed for a short while. But being reminded of her isn't what felt so suddenly stomach churning. He wants to propose to her... He wants to spend the rest of his life with her.
A smile forces its way onto my face, despite its unwelcome appearance as I force myself to look down at the vinyl he is showing me, which is of smooth jazz from '75.
"Well, you should go get it then so you don't end up having to find it a second time."
He smiles down at me, not seeming to pick up on how I have shifted in moods. I look away from him as he makes his way over to the counter with it, choosing to look out of the window instead.
I can't believe it... he's going to propose to her. After them being in a relationship for the last 4 years, he's actually going to ask her to go all the way and marry him. Something inside me stings deep at the thought of it. Could I stand being able to be around him, simply as just his best friend anymore if she says yes? I'm struggling to do it now, with them simply dating.
I don't think I could stand being in Rory's life anymore if I haven't started moving on as soon as possible. I don't want to loose him as my best friend but I can't continue to love him romantically like this, especially when he could be someone else's fiancé at some point in the near future.
An idea comes to mind and I pull my phone out to text someone I met in college.
'Hey, want to go drinking this Saturday?'
I wait for a reply as Rory makes his way back over to me, the vinyl in a plastic bag and we make our way out the door. It's an hour or so later before I get a response.
'As in as a small group or just us going on some sort of date?'
'It's a date'
'Then yeah, I'll see you Saturday'
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Saturday comes by and my friend and I are sat at the bar, both several drinks in and the conversation babbling on from one topic to the next. Any thoughts of Rory and what he has planned have completely slipped my mind. The empty glasses clutter our table, periodically being taken away by the occasional member of staff. I haven't been able to have a conversation where I've laughed like this for a few weeks now.
The sound of music coming from the already quite full dance floor draws our attention over to it and we exchange a glance between us, almost silently asking each other the same question. I roll my eyes ever so slightly, smirking a little before grabbing his hand and guiding him over to the group of dancers.
I wrap my arms around him, my head on his chest as he curls his own arms around me, pulling me close as we start swaying to the slow, romantic music playing in the background. Several minutes go by before the song finishes and we pull apart again, making our way back to our table and our conversation.
Before we are able to fully go back to speaking like how we were before we danced together, the sight of a familiar face can be seen approaching the pair of us out of the corner of my eye. I turn to fully make sure that I am seeing who I think it is and it is. My friend follows my line of sight as Rory is approaching the pair of us, his face stained with tears. He pulls up a chair next to me, speaking just to me instead of the pair of us.
"I proposed to Samantha... She admitted to cheating on me... We've split up and she's moving out of my house."
I look back at the expressions on my best friend's face as he says this, every part of me wanting to dry his tears. Instead, I put my hand on his shoulder and rub my hand over it.
"There there Rory..."
My friend looks between us as the moment we were having just moments before has broken.
**************
Sorry if this is a bit shit, haven't written anything in a while and didn't know what else to write
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DVDs
I hate that DVDs are going away. I'm one of those people who like to buy physical copies of my favorite shows. Having a copy saved to my Amazon account is okay, I guess, but if my stuff ever gets hacked, some psycho stranger could delete my stuff and then I'd be out of luck and have to buy everything again.
Also, I just really like having a physical copy of my shows. I'm still pissed that The Rookie refuses to put the rest of the seasons, 2-5 on DVD, and the show FBI has basically said, "Fuck you" to all the fans by not putting the show on DVD.
Let me give you an example. The CW/Arrowverse show Arrow, ended in 2020, but I still watch the show from my DVDs to this day. Burn Notice ended in 2013, but again, I still watch the DVDs every couple of months because I love the show so much.
I'm dreading once they do away with all DVDs, as I love being able to collect the DVDs of my favorite shows and watch them again and again, without having to shell out a shit ton of money trying to figure out what streaming service my shows are hopefully on, to be able to watch it for the 10th or 100th time.
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love your rambles love <3 what about their favorite movies/shows?
oooooo this is a good one
for movies i think remus would enjoy historical type stuff, so period pieces and war movies and all that. he'd talk about 1917 for weeks after seeing it. he's a wes anderson girlie too & he loved the french dispatch so much he bought a poster online & hung it in the living room. pride & prejudice is just always on in the background & he had to buy another DVD bc he watched the other one so much that it just...,.didn't work anymore. anna karenina with kiera knightly is one of his favorites, and it was the first movie he & sirius watched together (it's now in sirius' top ten movies of all time). he'd also force sirius to watch les mis even though it's like four hours long & by the end they're both crying.
on that note, sirius is a musical-adaptation girlie. he saw the phantom of the opera with gerard butler at a formative age and the rest was history. he dragged james to see la la land in theaters eight times in two weeks. remus makes him watch les mis & he's really put out about it until 'valjean's soliloquy' and then he just cries for the next two hours. but he's also a secret sci-fi and suspense stan, so he'd be a little bit in love with christopher nolan and inception would be one of his favorite movies. he watched interstellar once with regulus and never will again because it sent him on a two day emotional spiral & remus was worried. he's going to be first in line for oppenheimer. he & remus bookclubbed dune before it came out & they saw it three times the first week after the premiere. he's 75% in love with jordan peele & will physically harm anyone that thought nope was his worst movie.
they both love a good comedy and rom com, though, and movie night is usually something like bridget jones or she's the man. they quote mean girls back and forth constantly and remus does a really good impression of jane lynch in 'another cinderella story.' they have a framed picture of jennifer coolidge in the living room and two copies of legally blonde on DVD. sirius also bought it on amazon prime, just in case.
i think they'd do a lot of tv shows together, so their tastes kind of intermingle. remus leans toward quotable comedies like parks & rec and new girl, maybe friends if he's in the right mood. sirius likes the dark and dry comedies, like fleabag and what we do in the shadows. remus would want to watch stuff like the queen's gambit and the great (he enjoys it but cuts in every twenty seconds with 'this isn't actually what happened, you know' and sirius is like 'yes baby i know it's just a show') and sirius would want to try things like pen15
but their mutual favorite show and the place where their tastes intersect perfectly is arrested development. it's stupid and hilarious and quotable & they talk about it constantly. none of their friends except for peter have seen it so when they're out as a group it's just remus and sirius and peter going back and forth about 'beads???' and 'there's always money in the banana stand' and 'family love michael.' it's really annoying to everyone else & they can't even really explain where the quotes come from because it's all one big long running joke in the show that doesn't even make sense anymore.
like, they're out for brunch on saturday and the place has a french toast plate called "mr. frenchy" and remus goes "🎶mr. F🎶" and then sirius almost spits mimosa all over the table & it's coming out of his nose and peter chokes on a piece of cantaloupe and falls out of his chair. and everyone else at the table is like 😧🫢😟😦 'what the hell' and remus is like 'it....would take too long to explain.' and peter is on the ground and sirius is crying when the waiter comes back to take their orders & james just goes 'we're gonna need another minute'
#u ask tortoise answers#anon#tortoise writes a novel ab an ask for no reason#<- that's the ramble tag#if u want the rambles go there#me projecting my love of arrested development on them#bc i also quote it constantly#and nobody ever gets it
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since we are on the topic. Again no pressure to anyone buying stuff... you do you. Just there seems to be this idea that there is all or nothing with albums and I think that's not really right. For me personally: I like to own media. I am not a big fan of subscription services like Netflix and Spotify even though I do use both of them. Because I am accutely aware that I own nothing on there. With Spotify I am even granted access for free if I don't mind the adds which is nice because I like free music. But if I do decide to pay that still does not stop them from taking the songs I like down for various reasons. It has happened a few too many times where there are just holes in my playlist for this or that reason kpop and western music alike (which like fair if artists wanna renegotiate with spotify over their payout they should it's their music but at the same time hey hi I was listening to that so I am annoyed now). And so yeah if I like a song nowadays I will try to buy it legit off itunes - if I like a whole album I will try to buy the physical CD, and if I am broke... well nobody tell Baekhyun this but I was never gonna spend 60 bucks on his japanese solo debut so I youtube mp3 converted the songs and saved them to my computer and later burned them onto various mix cds i like to use in my car. The way I see it the capitalistic consumption aspect of kpop is really wild and I do not think you have to fully give into it but I also don't think you have to fully reject it. For instance I bought DVD box sets for shows I liked in case they ever vanish of netflix - I do not buy every show I ever watched just the ones meaningful to me. Kpop albums are the same. I will not buy every release. But if I have the means and I like the album sure I can buy a select few for myself and I have bought a few of them used without photocards because I do not care about the collection aspect of it I just want the music on the Disc. Having them is like having any form of media. Something no one can take away from me. If Stray Kids quit tomorrow and get into a legal battle and all their content gets taken off the official channels I will still own the 2 albums I bought and I will keep them until Chan himself breaks into my house and steals them off my shelf. So that's where I am coming from. Again nothing wrong with not wanting to buy albums. Just wanted to give my opinion on it basically
idk if you read the original ask about why i don’t buy albums but im not fundamentally against buying albums and i don’t have that all or nothing mindset that some people have (although i think those people are just part of a loud minority). it’s just not for me because i know that personally i’ll probably look at the photos once and then never look at them again. i also don’t have a cd player and don’t plan on buying one so i don’t have any use for a cd. there are plenty of reasons to want to an album and owning the physical copy of the music is certainly one of them! streaming services suck and i get not wanting to rely on them for your music. i’ve had songs i really love get taken down or even switched to a completely different version of the song and that wouldn’t happen if i owned the cd but that’s the trade off with streaming services. i prefer to save the money i would be spending on albums and put it towards concert tickets which is something i know i will love.
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Ok. I'm a big lover of physical media, I love collecting DVDs and CDs, and the fact that DVDs are 2 bucks a box at thrift stores does not help my addiction but im not complaining.
All this to say that now that DVDs are no longer a huge thing anymore, places that used to keep DVDs to be rented out or borrowed out have now given them to thrift stores, and sometimes you'll stumble upon them and buy them. Hell! Sometimes I won't even know until I crack the case open to watch what I got, that it was a rentable copy.
And I just,,,, look man, I know, objectively when you get a DVD from a thrift store it has already been loved and seen its day and was probably someone's favourite, but,,, there's something even more magical about rented DVDs, and suddenly having this little DVD which was probably played over and over and over again by so many different people so many times, and loved in so many different ways that I will never comprehend it. This isn't one person, or one family, MAYBE playing this on loop because someone had an undying obsession with a film, or maybe it was the least favourite always at the back of the cupboard. This is so many people all sitting down in front of a screen spanning years to watch this silly little film, so so many people I will never get to see or meet and we're all looking at this screen playing this one movie and i swear if i squint enough maybe i can see them staring back like it's a fucked up lil mirror. just like how the dvd has this movie printed onto it forever, a little bit of that wonder and joy we have when watching it, even if distracted or tugged away from the screen, gets put into that dvd, in the little space left, and then gets passed along. maybe i can feel the love for this film a five year old might have had, and who demanded their family rent it out regularly, maybe the friends at a sleepover who aren't really watching anymore and are doing something else but are still in front of that screen.
in summary, best way i can put without weird meandering is that my brain see the "rent" sticker on a dvd case and it goes uuuehehuehuhueheh
#physical media#i dont know what to tag this with its just the ramblings of a madman#at an ungodly hour#DVDs
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10 Facebook Pages To Follow About Filmy4wap Movies
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infinitesimal
Ship: GN! Reader x Spencer Reid
Word count: .6k
A/N: I wrote this in approximately ten minutes and haven’t re-read it this really just is me dropping and running.
--
Spencer Reid was a scientist at his core. Being a scientist, he knew that everything in the world was made up of infinitesimally small atoms. Atoms that exhibited partial-wave duality, meaning that the electrons repelled each other. There was, a minutely small distance between him and everything he ever touched, one he was acutely aware of.
Maybe that’s why he was never one for hugs. Sure, they were a sign of affection but they couldn’t really touch him anyway. Germs, however, could.
Maybe that’s why he struggled to feel like he belonged anywhere. The electrons in his body seemed to repel more than the usual amount. When he lay in bed at night, he didn’t find comfort despite the memory foam mattress or the blankets Garcia had knitted and sprayed with lavender. It didn’t feel quite right.
Maybe his body was rejecting him, hell, maybe the world was rejecting him.
Logically, he knew that couldn’t be true. There was no scientific reason that his atoms specifically would be more negatively charged than anybody else’s. And he did have people who cared about him, people who touched him and his life, people he loved.
But he could always feel it. The absence of real touch. In every pat on the arm, in every baked good placed on his desk. Sometimes the feeling was minute and fleeting, sometimes not even orbiting all the way around his brain before it was gone again.
He just knew it was there.
Until you came along.
Leaving sticky notes in books he lent to you, bringing coffee to his desk every morning, asking him follow-up questions to things he’d said that you didn’t quite understand.
Inviting him to films you thought he’d like to see, the kind that had subtitles. And then the kind that didn’t - meaning he spent half the film hunched over his seat whispering translations in your ear. It was no way to watch a film, he thought. But you said you didn’t mind. Started buying copies on DVD so that he might come to your apartment, tucked up at the other end of the couch under your blanket. Explaining the nuances of French cinema.
His life felt different then. Really, tangibly different. He didn’t spend his days off staring at the ceiling thinking about all the bad in the world. He picked up his phone and called his mother, asked you to come with him to take Henry to the park, picked out books in book shops and spent the days scribbling on post-it notes so that you might share his perspective on the books happenings. He wanted to share with you. He wanted to open his life to you.
And when you brought your hand up one day, mid conversation, tucking a strand of hair behind his ear as if it was the most commonplace thing in the world. Your fingertips barely brushing the apples of his cheek as you retreated back to your own territory, hand falling back to your hip.
It burnt him. A blush creeping in its wake, one that had you tilting your head to the side, voice lilting as you asked, “What’s wrong?”
He didn’t know how to explain then, that he felt like he’d been really, truly touched for the first time. Laws of physics be damned.
Spencer Reid was a scientist at his core. In your presence though, he started to doubt everything he thought he knew.
---
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My favorite new-to-me movies of 2021
The Maltese Falcon
I was honestly surprised at how much I loved this movie. I knew I’d enjoy it, but didn’t think I’d love it enough to almost immediately go out and buy myself a physical copy. The story is completely engrossing, even with me knowing the twist, and having pretty much heard that final bit of dialogue between Humphrey Bogart and Mary Astor multiple times (we used the audio for a play I was in). But despite knowing all that, I could not look away from the screen. The actors are all amazing, but especially Bogart...this quickly became my favorite performance of his.
Nomadland
This is a very interesting movie. There’s not much to it when it comes to plot, and yet it is one of the most emotionally resonant movies I had seen in a long time. It’s a movie made up of moments...little moments that feel like memories you’d keep for the rest of your life. It made me cry multiple times, but always from these little moments...holding a baby, taking in the size of huge redwood trees or the intensity of the ocean...It may not be a movie I’d revisit again and again, but I’m 100% glad I took the time to watch it. And Frances McDormand’s performance was incredible.
How to Steal a Million
This movie is so much great! I wish that the DVD wasn’t out of print, because I would buy it in a heartbeat (not via amazon, thank you). This is the perfect movie to watch when you want some light-hearted fun. Audrey Hepburn and Peter O’Toole have some really amazing chemistry in this fun and silly caper where they try to pull off a heist in a scheme that’s “so crazy, it just might work”. And Audrey looks incredible in her fabulous mod wardrobe.
The Little Foxes
A classic bitchy Bette Davis movie, if ever there was one. This one had been on my list of movies to watch for a while, and I jumped at the chance to see it when it was scheduled for TCM. Davis’ performance was excellent, of course, no one could play an unlikeable character the way she could. But for my money, the best performance in the film came from Patricia Collinge as Aunt Birdie. She played a woman who, while cheerful on the surface, was so desperately unhappy, so broken by her life that all she could do is hide away and drink. She absolutely broke my heart.
Gentlemen Prefer Blondes
Another movie that had been on my list forever! I really enjoyed this movie and I feel like, if I ever get a copy of this one, this will be a great movie for me to have on in the background when I’m working on other things. I’ve been wanting to watch more of Marilyn Monroe’s filmography lately, as I’d really only seen her more dramatic work in The Misfits, and I wanted to see more of what she was known for, her light-hearted comedies and romances. This movie is a ton of fun to watch and the musical numbers are great! And I love Monroe’s dynamic with Jane Russell.
tick, tick...BOOM!
This may be my favorite movie of 2021. Granted, I didn’t see a ton of actual new releases that year, but I think even if I had, I would have put this one near the top. I’ve been a fan of this musical since 2007, when I was given the soundtrack by my roommate. I’ve always liked it more than Rent (and honestly, my enjoyment of Rent has gone down as I’ve gotten older), and I think the story perfectly captures what it feels like to be an artist. The idea that you work on something for a long time, potentially years, and having nothing really come of it. And all you can do is move on to the next one, hoping that this will turn out better. And having the story also focus on the fact that Jon is turning 30 really makes it more relatable...we've all thought that if we aren’t a success by the time we hit 30, we’re some kind of failure...especially working in the arts. Actors worry that they won’t be able to play the ingenues anymore, dancers worry about the betrayal of their bodies,,,all the while, there’s a younger generation graduating from college ready to take on the world. This movie really captures just how exhausting it can be. But it also shows how rewarding it can be. Andrew Garfield’s performance is out of this world, and even though Will Smith has been predicted to win Best Actor for a while, I would be so happy if Andrew Garfield won. He’d never even really sung before and the fact that he did so well really impressed me. And I have to give a shoutout to Robin de Jesus as Michael. Where Andrew Garfield is full of manic energy, bouncing off the walls, Robin de Jesus is grounded...and they balance each other perfectly.
#movies#the maltese falcon#nomadland#the little foxes#how to steal a million#gentlemen prefer blondes#tick tick boom
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The Inherent Domesticity of Target’s Home Decor Section
Pairing: Michael Clifford/Calum Hood
Rating: Teen
Word Count: 2076
Read on AO3
Michael has mixed feelings about Target. On one hand, Target is better than Walmart, and he appreciates that they get to design different album covers and sell special editions there. On the other hand, walking into Target makes him feel like he should have his life together more. That’s not to say that his life is a disaster; his life is actually pretty great, and he feels like a fully functioning adult. However, the store still gives him the niggling feeling that he should buy a planner and some post-it notes and turn into a suburban mom.
“Do you think I should buy a planner?” he asks. Calum hums, reading the back of a DVD that’s on sale for $5. When he shifts to put it back on the shelf, Michael shifts right with him, arms around his stomach and cheek plastered against his shoulder. It’s earlier in the morning than Michael would like, so Calum gets the privilege of holding him up as punishment for dragging him out into the world at this time of day.
“Why do you need a planner? Ashton takes care of that stuff for the band,” Calum says. He picks up another DVD and flips it over.
“Yeah, but maybe I should put down everyone’s birthday or something,” he says. Calum snorts and Michael pinches his side, because he’s apologized for forgetting his birthday that one time sincerely and profusely and gave Calum a pretty spectacular blowjob to make up for it.
“Would you even use it?” Calum asks. Michael considers and has to concede his point.
They look at DVDs for a few more minutes because Calum gets a kick out of what a place like Target choses to stock in their meger selection. Michael lets him slip some animated thing he thinks he watched once as a kid into the basket, content to stand there while Calum takes his time and just breathe him in. He loves being close to Calum, letting his familiar smell fill his nostrils and leeching body heat. He lets their breathing sync up and imagines that he can hear his heartbeat, slow and steady and almost putting him to sleep standing up.
Nowhere feels like home quite like Calum does. Even in the middle of Target, Michael feels better than he ever has alone in his house. It makes him wonder why he’s even living alone, and why Calum pulled away and they stopped messing around when neither of them have girlfriends.
The bottom line is that he misses Calum nearly every moment they’re apart, but he doesn’t know how to articulate this without the crushing fear of rejection. Calum loves him, and he knows that a significant part of Calum’s world revolves around Michael, but that doesn’t mean they necessarily love each other in the same way. Michael wants grocery shopping and kisses and late night cuddles regardless of if they have somewhere to be in the morning and lazy sex and laughing at each other’s ridiculousness so hard that he can’t breathe. Calum wants a platonic best friend.
“What else do we still need to get?” Calum asks, shaking Michael out of his reverie.
“Toothpaste, I think. And vitamins.”
“Look at you, being healthy and shit.”
Michael pokes his side and Calum tries to wriggle away, giggling because Michael knows exactly which spot tickles the most.
“Just because I don’t let Ashton drag me to yoga like you do doesn’t mean I’m unhealthy. I get the most sleep out of any of us and I drink a fuckton of water.”
“I know, I know,” Calum says. “Want to check the CDs?”
It’s a distraction tactic, because Michael will always check the one-shelf CD selection, especially so soon after one of their own releases. Michael makes the conscious decision to allow himself to be distracted.
“Okay. CDs, then toothpaste, then vitamins, then I want to look at the home decor.”
“What do you want to look at the home decor for?”
Michael shrugs, knowing that Calum can feel it. There’s just no non-incriminating way to say I like to see your reactions and pretend that we’re picking out stuff for our house because I might be fully in love with you and I want you in every single crevice of my life.
That’s the issue with Target: it makes him feel domestic and long for things he can’t have.
“Excuse me?” a new voice says, and Michael first feels a twinge of annoyance at someone interrupting his moment and then a twinge of panic that it could be a fan when he definitely doesn’t have the emotional or physical energy to put on a public persona. One look at the owner of the voice dispels that notion. The woman is on the later side of middle-aged and looks pretty much exactly like the kind of woman who cooks meatloaf and has 3 cats and actually does go to Target to buy planners. As inclusive as the band tries to make their music, Michael can admit that she’s not exactly in their immediate wheelhouse for fans. Nevertheless, he straightens up a bit, but the woman is smiling so he thinks he can maybe get away with still locking his arms around Calum’s waist.
“Sorry to bother you, but I just wanted to say that you boys make such a cute couple! It’s so nice to see young people in love.”
Michael stiffens, but Calum puts a hand on his arm, effectively anchoring him in place before he can pull away.
“Thank you. It’s nice to be in love,” Calum says, and Michael’s breath stutters in his throat.
The woman beams and for a moment Michael thinks she’s going to reach out and pinch Calum’s cheeks, but she just bids them a good day and continues towards the books.
“CDs?” Calum asks, casual as anything. Michael nods and fully pulls away, not trusting himself to speak or to touch.
It was just a nice thing to say to a romantic woman, but it’s nice to be in love plays on repeat in his head like a broken record. He knows, he knows that it doesn’t mean anything, but Michael would give almost anything to have it be the truth.
There are five copies of the Target exclusive edition of CALM on the shelf. There’s also a Neil Diamond greatest hits collection and a few random soundtracks that Calum points out, but Michael can barely focus. He kind of wants to skip the toothpaste and go straight home, but he also doesn’t want Calum to question why that small interaction with the woman threw him so off kilter. By the time they make it through the checkout and back to Michael’s car, he feels like he’s going to vibrate out of his skin.
Calum waits until they’re out of the parking lot to start talking.
“I’m sorry for making you uncomfortable earlier. That wasn’t my intention. I just figured that was the easiest response. I know we’re not--I know we don’t do that anymore.”
In a different world where Michael hasn’t kept a very tight lid on his feelings for his best friend for the past eight years, he would have crashed the car.
“I know,” he says instead. Silence fills the space, heavy and uncomfortable. Michael keeps his eyes resolutely on the road and tries not to read too much into how Calum keeps taking a breath as if he wants to talk before cutting himself off.
“And I understand,” Calum says suddenly, almost causing Michael to swerve. “I understand why we’re not together anymore.”
“What,” Michael says.
“I’m not trying to get you back, or whatever. I know you don’t think of me like that.”
“That I don’t--” Michael chokes. “I’m sorry, what?”
“Come on, don’t make me say it,” Calum says, shifting in his seat.
“No, hang on. I don’t understand what you’re saying to me right now.”
“Mike, stop it. Now you’re just being mean.”
“Calum, you’re the one who pulled away from me. Personally, I don’t understand why we’re not together anymore. I didn’t even know that we were!”
“That’s bullshit! What did you think we were, if not together?”
“I don’t know, fucking around? I thought we stopped because you got bored of me.”
“Michael, we stopped because we got asked about ships in an interview and you got really weird about it.”
“Yeah, because I’ve been in love with you for half my life!”
Silence descends, and Michael absolutely cannot look at Calum right now. The only things that exist are the steering wheel in his grip and the strip of road in front of him. There’s still a good ten minutes until he reaches his house, and Michael is very content to spend those ten minutes pretending like he is alone and has not just revealed his biggest secret during an argument that he still doesn’t quite understand.
“Pull over.”
No such luck, apparently.
“Michael, pull over right now.”
He eases over and puts the car in park, letting his hands fall into his lap.
“You’re in love with me?” Calum asks. Michael nods. “We’re so stupid.”
“What?” Michael asks, finally looking over at Calum. He doesn’t look uncomfortable or sad, he looks exasperated. Michael isn’t sure what that’s supposed to mean.
“We’re idiots. We could’ve been happily dating this whole time. Hell, we probably could’ve been married by now,” Calum says. “I’m in love with you, too.”
Michael blinks at him and really wishes his brain was operating a bit faster.
“Calum,” he says, for lack of anything else.
“Michael,” Calum grins right back.
“Are you serious?” he asks. Calum rolls his eyes.
“Why would I joke about this?”
Michael shrugs helplessly.
“Michael,” Calum says seriously. “I made you park the car. We just had a conversation that obviously made you uncomfortable. Why the fuck would I be joking right now?”
Michael shrugs helplessly again.
“You love me?” he asks. Calum reaches over and grabs one of his hands.
“I’m head over heels, crazy in love with you. It’s pathetic. It’s ridiculous. I want to jump you in this car right now.”
Michael laughs.
“Not in broad daylight,” he says. Calum smiles in a way that makes something settle in Michael’s stomach, something that he hadn’t realized had been unsettled ever since they stopped seeing each other.
Fuck. He’s so lucky.
“I’m in love with you, too,” he says. Calum’s smile widens.
“I know,” he says. “You just told me that.”
“Well, I wanted to tell you again.”
“Well, I’m in love with you, too.”
They’re talking in circles now--wonderful, love-sick circles--and Michael is thankful for multiple reasons when Calum breaks it by leaning over the center console to kiss him. Calum’s lips are familiar under his, and even after months without feeling them Michael has them memorized. This kiss feels different, though. There’s a surety to it that they haven’t had before, a question and agreement that thrills him.
“You’re sure you don’t want to roll around in the back seat right now?” Calum asks softly when they part. Michael grins and knocks their foreheads together.
“You’re funny,” he says. “Ha, ha.”
Calum kisses him again. Michael could definitely get used to this. If their previous conversation is any indication, he’ll have plenty of time and opportunity to get used to this.
This time when the kiss breaks, Calum fully leans back rather than keep breathing his air.
“Okay,” he says. “Let’s go home, Michael. We’ve got years of a honeymoon phase to catch up on.”
Michael puts the car in drive and eases back onto the road. They’ll have time to drive around again later, because Michael definitely wants to do another circuit of the Target home decor section with this new revelation. Maybe he’ll try to find a card for the woman who confused them for a couple, just in case they happen to run into her by the post-it notes or planners.
Either way, Michael thinks that Target might be his favorite store now. He glances at Calum to find him already looking at him and his chest warms.
Yeah, Target is definitely his favorite store, but he’d be okay with never setting foot in it again if it meant he could keep spending time with his favorite person.
Thankfully, the way that Calum leans over to kiss him at a red light seems to mean that he agrees.
#my writing#malum#5sos fic#5sos fanfiction#i began this in may of 2020 so it's an alternate universe with no covid#can you believe it took me this long to finish lol#also i feel like this is an interesting way to see how my writing style has changed#this is very helen-influenced i think#the title for this in my google drive is t-t-t-t-TARGET
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tagged by @officialglenntilbrook 😘💞💖❤️🥂
1. what is the first song you remember hearing? Oh man uhh... i remember my my dad playing the video for... oops i did it again I think? by britney spears and i was very obsessed with it. if i saw the video I would know but i don’t feel like doing that. hard to say if that is my earliest memory of music tho. i remember listening to the R.E.M. In Time greatest hits in the car late at night and feeling weird out of body as Man on the Moon came on. i like that story better but I have no idea when that memory is from. i also feel like i heard my mom singing along with Sarah McLaughlin or Norah Jones a lot when i was very young.
2. what is the first band you got into? hmm... i really loved Bon Jovi when I was very young but i didn’t like. have any knowledge of them or their discography I just liked slippery when wet and their greatest hits. and also thats embarrassing so i am trying to think of an out... probably the first real musical obsession i had was lana del rey when I was 14 /15 but thats also not great. just take the L buddy... i didnt actually get into music i would now consider very good until about 16.
3. do you collect any physical music? during quar i started trolling ebay and other similar sites for cheap cds and I have gotten a pretty good collection! you would be shocked the number of people who just really do not want to have their R.E.M. albums anymore. I have a few vinyls- a couple of cheap Joni records, Station to Station, the mats Dead Mans Pop boxset thing, and the R.E.M. single So. Central Rain. Oh and I have a very cool cd single of beastie boys body movin’. I also have a collection of cassettes that used to belong to my mom- she passed 5 yrs ago so they are very special to me! she had some R.E.M., U2, Eurythmics, Squeeze, Crowded House, Indigo Girls, and I recently dug up a bootlegged Tracy Chapman tape! she might have some more at her childhood home and if I find a tape of murmur i’ll like blackout. the sad thing is that now I really like all these musicians my mom apparently liked but i was not into them when she was alive so :/ figuring things out feels like archeology. was listening to In Time greatest hits the other day and was like she definitely skipped E-Bow the Letter every time it came on lol bc i did not hear this song until like last year.
4. what is your favourite piece of music memorabilia? do you know that picture of R.E.M. where they are all holding roses like they are all going to the prom together? i scored a poster of that off Ebay for the incredible deal of $50!! a deal at any price :) I don’t have much that is like legit valuable lol. But here you have to see the picture
5. what's your favourite concert you've ever been to? hmm i havent really been to any truly mindblowing concerts I don’t think. I got to see Tommy Stinson play an acoustic set at 7th street entry in 2019 which was very cool. I feel crazy saying thats my favorite but it was incredibly special.
6. if you could see one artist who is no longer alive in concert, who would it be? If you ask right now I would probably have to say Replacements with Bob Stinson. Prince would be a close one
7. have you met any musicians? almost! when i went to see tommy stinson, afterwards he was hanging in a bar next to the club and was taking selfies with people. i kept thinking about getting in line and eventually i decided to just do it. when i finally went to go look for him he was deep in a conversation with someone and I also realized i had nothing intelligent to say, so i sat and stared at him talking for a bit until i left and went back to the show.
8. what is your go to album when you're feeling sad? Tim by the mats! i think i maybe listened to this album every day my senior year of high school. it is legitimately strange how I feel as if this album just knows me very well. everyone says this about the mats but every song feels like it’s about me and my life. I think a perk of being a lower middle class Minnesotan with an alcoholic father is just really really getting the replacements. but i guess it depends on the kind of sad I am. If i’m just looking to be cheered up i might go with Lifes Rich Pageant or Green by R.E.M. because invariably by the end of Tim I will be bummed out !
9. what is your go to album when you're feeling happy? somehow this is a very hard question. Radio City by Big Star was a big one for me when i was still on campus. maybe an obvious one but rubber soul is a good being happy album
10. what is one music documentary you love? the doc Every Everything about Grant Hart from Hüsker Dü is a favorite. it’s just all interview with him and he’s a fascinating guy. I’ve never watched an interview with him where i wasn’t like woah u’re smart :0... the director of that also did a good replacements doc but at certain point with mats journalism im just like well i could’ve just read trouble boys.
11. what is one concert DVD you love? I think I only own one concert DVD, Prince’s Lovesexy show which i was very obsessed with back in high school.
12. do you prefer listening to playlists or albums? i prefer albums usually, sometimes i’m in the mood for a playlist but albums are def superior
13. do you prefer to listen to albums in order or on shuffle? in order !!!! What am i a psychopath
14. what is your favourite deep cut song by your favourite artist? Portland by the mats is a top ten song of theirs. very in character for it to be a b-side i’m not even mad
15. what is your favourite cd/cassette/vinyl you own in terms of packaging? I love the inner sleeve of my Grandpaboy cd which is just Paul Westerberg’s doodles and scribblings. sometimes when i buy stuff off of ebay it comes with notes and stuff too which is my favorite. my copy of suicaine gratifaction came with a very sweet note of how much the previous owner loved it. and my copy of mbv’s loveless has this very hard to read note which i can maybe make out half of. if you can read it please translate for me.
i love being tagged but if you do not want to answer 15 long questions do not feel pressured! i shall tag @the-replacemints @pattismithgender @myfcukingrat @willemdafoeplscallmemynumberis @little-rimbaud @milesofsmiles97 @electrofolk 🤙😜💘
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Tag 9 people to learn about their interests!
I was tagged by: @dooareyastudy (thanks for tagging me and sorry for the delay!)
MUSIC
(Not my forte but we’ll give it a go)
Fave genre? I guess classical or film scores? They’re what I listen to most...
Fave artist? Jeff Buckley, probably... He’s the most enduring on my playlist anyway
Fave song? Foreigner’s God by Hozier
Most listened song recently? Earth by Sleeping at Last
Song currently stuck in your head? This is humilitating but... Phantom of the Opera...
5 fave lyrics?
Very sorry but this is the point you’ve lost me, I don’t have a great memory for lyrics...
radio or your own playlist | solo artists or bands | pop or indie | loud or silent volume I slow or fast songs | music video or lyrics video | speakers or headset | riding a bus in silence or while listening to music (technically an audiobook but we’ll go with this one) | driving in silence or with radio on
BOOKS
Fav book genre? Fantasy and classics, technically I read more fantasy but I love them equally
Fave writer? I can’t pick one, I read too much... For prose: Jane Austen (specifically in Emma, her free indirect style is perfection!), Guy Gavriel Kay, Robin Hobb, and Emily Bronte. For plot: Brandon Sanderson. For the overall package: Terry Pratchett and J.R.R. Tolkien
Fave book? Emma by Jane Austen, Wuthering Heights by Emily Bronte,
Fave book series? The Lord of the Rings by J.R.R. Tolkien
Comfort book? Harry Potter or Assassin’s Apprentice by Robin Hobb
Rainy day book? Not entirely sure what this is asking for but I guess Harry Potter again... Maybe anything in Middle Earth
Fave characters? I could compose a whole list... To name a few: Emma Woodhouse (my queen!) FitzChivalry Farseer, Dalinar Kholin (problematic but I don’t give a fuck), Severus Snape (likewise), Eowyn, Theoden, Heathcliff, Anne Shirely, and Sam Vimes.
5 quotes from your fave books? Here’s my time to shine! I could keep going past 5 but I’ll restrain myself...
“You said I killed you — haunt me, then!” - Wuthering Heights
“If I loved you less I might be able to talk about it more” - Emma
“...faultless in spite of all her faults” - Emma (about Emma herself)
“It’s a dangerous business, Frodo, going out your door. You step onto the road, and if you don’t keep your feet, there’s no knowing where you might be swept off to.” - The Lord of the Rings (Fellowship of the Ring)
(A long one but worth it)
“The reason that the rich were so rich, Vimes reasoned, was because they managed to spend less money.
Take boots, for example. He earned thirty-eight dollars a month plus allowances. A really good pair of leather boots cost fifty dollars. But an affordable pair of boots, which were sort of OK for a season or two and then leaked like hell when the cardboard gave out, cost about ten dollars. Those were the kind of boots Vimes always bought, and wore until the soles were so thin that he could tell where he was in Ankh-Morpork on a foggy night by the feel of the cobbles.
But the thing was that good boots lasted for years and years. A man who could afford fifty dollars had a pair of boots that’d still be keeping his feet dry in ten years’ time, while the poor man who could only afford cheap boots would have spent a hundred dollars on boots in the same time and would still have wet feet.
This was the Captain Samuel Vimes Boots’ theory of socioeconomic unfairness.” - Men at Arms (Discworld)
hardcover or paperback | buy or rent | standalone novels or book series (I can’t pick) | ebook or physical copy | reading at night or during the day | reading at home or in nature | listening to music while reading or reading in silence | reading in order or reading the ending first | reliable or unreliable narrator | realism or fantasy | one or multiple POVS | judging by the covers or by the summary | rereading or reading just once (depends on the book)
TV AND MOVIES
Fave tv/movie genre? period drama/fantasy
Fave movie? Lord of the Rings (Fellowship is technically my absolute favourite, but the whole trilogy is my top 3) or Emma (2020)
Comfort movie? Harry Potter and the Prisoner of Azkaban
Movie you watch every year? Lord of the Rings, Harry Potter (all of them!) I rarely watch new films, I don’t love films tbh, I’m more of a tv person...
Fave tv show? Penny Dreadful or The Young Pope
Comfort tv show? Errrrm... Anne with an E? North and South? Pride and Prejudice (1995)?
Most rewatched tv show? The Tudors
5 fave characters? The Creature/John Clare/Caliban from Penny Dreadful, Anne Shirely from Anne with an E, Eowyn, Aragorn, and Sam from Lord of the Rings (counting as one), Lucrezia Borgia from The Borgias, Lagertha from Vikings
tv shows or movie | short seasons (8-13 episodes) or full seasons (22 episodes or more) | one episode a week or bingeing | one season or multiple seasons (depends on whether it’s complete or not) | one part or saga | half hour or one hour long episodes | subtitles on or off | rewatching or watching just once | downloads or watches online (old school DVDs for me!)
Tagging: @stefito0o and anyone else who wants to do it... I’m honestly sure who’s done it and who hasn’t at this point.
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real talk: i’m glad kissanime is dead. i love to stick it to capitalism as much as the rest of yall but I do think it’s important to remember that the anime industry is not a trillion-dollar industry akin to Hollywood. anime studios really do rely on DVD/blu-ray sales to not only stay afloat but also to determine what kinds of shows are popular.
u wanna know why there are so many h-game adaptations and issekai shows getting made? bc fans of that genre buy DVDs. You want to know why almost every anime that premieres in a season is a manga or light novel adaptation? because manga companies bankroll these adaptations in the hopes of getting more people to buy their manga and anime studios bank on there being an existing fanbase to buy the DVDs. You wanna know why there are less and less original anime series being produced nowadays despite anime being more popular in the 21st century than it’s ever been? because studios don’t have the funds to shell out millions in advance on the hope that the series will be popular enough that a plurality of fans will purchase a physical copy of the series and earn the studio its money back.
for better or worse, that’s how the anime industry is set up to earn a profit. home video sales don’t just keep studios afloat they determine what genres of shows get made, and which series get sequels and which don’t. again, the anime industry isn’t Hollywood, it’s a niche medium, even in Japan, so if you care about the art form you gotta do what you can to support it. HIDIVE is $5 a month, Funimation and Crunchyroll are both $7. There are so many different ways to support the industry without buying a physical copy of a show if it’s out of your budget.
leak textbooks, steal every cent you can from Mouse EvilCorp, but understand that anime studios don’t have the infinitely deep pockets of mega-studios over here and that refusing to pay for anime on principle alone actively harms the medium you claim to love.
#anime#i know it's fun to shit on capitalism and //paying for things// on here#but u know: anime is an art form and creators have limited means of acquiring funds to produce it outside of streaming revenue &#home video sales#so u know....you'll excuse me for simping for capitalism just this once
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The Room is a Strange Place
Everybody has a back pocket story or two. You know the kind? The tales you pull out of your ass when trying to impress, or just entertain. I’ve divulged a couple of those cherished stories (on this very blog) over the years. I implore you to scroll a bit if you want to read about a physical altercation with a “pimp” on the Las Vegas strip or night spent with a close friend, two upset stomachs, a backed-up hotel tonight, and the culmination leading to several homeless people watching me shit in a public restroom. This story isn’t as grandiose, so I don’t want to over-hype it, but it does make me laugh every time I think about/ tell it and, I don’t know about you, I could use some laughter. Shall we proceed?
My brother and I have an unhealthy obsession with awful films. I’m not sure how it started, but we’ve always found a great deal of humor in horrible flicks. For as long as I can remember, he and I have gathered around a television set for hours watching countless “how on earth did someone create this?” movies. Our love of rancid cinema has extended to our close friends in the form of “So Bad, It’s Good” movie nights. We lure our loved ones in with the promise of as much booze, candy, and popcorn they can handle, and subject them to this perverse passion for terrible acting, cinematography, writing, lighting, set design, etc. We’re constantly in search of the next pile of trash to give an excuse to transform our living room into a shitty version of Mystery Science Theater 3000. There are some who long for the next Avengers and, while I will watch that, these bad movies speak more to my sensibilities.
In the mid-2000′s there were rumblings that a new champion had taken the crown for worst flick ever made. The internet was ablaze with this laughably bad, nonsensical movie that was only showing in Los Angeles. The movie was titled “The Room” and it was written, produced, and starring a man I’d never heard of before, Tommy Wiseau. Not one to torrent, I spent the next few evenings learning everything I could about this film. Each review, both those that were in on this being a god-awful blunder, and those that, seemingly, weren’t hip to the fact that this was largely considered the Citizen Kane of abhorrent films, made me salivate at the chance of getting my hands on this piece of substandard pop culture. While the reviews were enough for me to know this was a “must-see” it was the interviews with the man behind it all himself, Tommy Wiseau, that drove my desire to see this film. His cadence, accent, mannerisms, look, laughter.. everything about the man just leapt out as a truly original cat. I became just as intrigued about the man behind the film, as I did about the motion picture, itself.
Some time passes and I find myself at San Diego Comic Con, as I had many times before. For those of you uninitiated, think of San Diego Comic Con as the biggest nerd/ pop-culture orgy ever created. 120k+ plus descend upon Southern California to share their unadulterated love of movies, television, toys, and yes, comics. I went with someone who was newly christened my ex-girlfriend, thinking we could just work through things, as we’d each spent a great deal of money on the trip prior to the break up. This was a mistake. We were at each other’s throats more than a vampire at a hydra gathering. That is to say, any second away from her was more than welcomed. When she informed me that she wanted to take a nap, I used this time as a breath of fresh air (as fresh as can be in a sea of people who don’t treat personal hygiene as a top priority, that is). I hit the convention floor, in seek of an autograph of the creator of Invader Zim, Jhonen Vasquez. I’m weaving through the convention hall, when I see the man I’d become infatuated with... Tommy Wiseau. “Hey kid (I’m in my mid-late twenties at this point, mind you), you wanna buy a movie?” Without hesitation, I fired back “FUCK YEAH I DO!! How much?” This is when things got a little weird.. or Wiseau..
“For my biggest fan? Ten dollars.”, Mr. Wiseau said. “Biggest fan? He randomly stopped me, and I haven’t even seen this movie.”, I thought, but didn’t say a word, only reached for my wallet. I handed him a sweaty $10 bill, he goes to hand me the film, but reels back a second. “Do you want me to sign it?”, he asked. “Yes, please!!”, I fired back. Tommy pulled out a pin, started murmuring something, then signed my DVD. “Do you want GREH (he was saying “Greg”, but I couldn’t make out what he was saying through his accent) to sign it?” I didn’t know who “GREH” (I later found out this was Greg Sestero, another star of the film and inspiration for the movie) was, but sure, why not? As I awaited my newly autographed copy of my most anticipated movie of that year, Tommy chimed in again. “Would you like a soundtrack?”. “Um, how much?”, I cautiously treaded. “For my biggest fan? Are you kidding me? It free for you.” Genuinely creeped out, I said “Sure”. Tommy then turns and screams at a child no older than 7 to fetch me a soundtrack. The kid scurried off out of sight, leaving me with me with Tommy and “GREH”. A couple of minutes passed before the youngster returned, without soundtrack in hand. “WHERE IS THE SOUNDTRACK!?”, Tommy bellowed. “We’re all out.”, squeaked the kid. “HOW COULD YOU DO THIS IN FRONT OF MY BIGGEST FAN!?!”, Wiseau roared, then turned and asked me, “I’m so sorry. Would you like a t-shirt?”. “Oh, that’s okay. I don’t want to be any trouble.”, I said in genuine fear. “No trouble at all. GO GET HIM A SHIRT!!”, he screamed at the minor. “It’s really no problem at all for my biggest fan”, Tommy reiterated as he put me in a vice-like headlock. So there I am, in a Wiseau-headlock, standing next to “Greh”, when I notice something. There is a line of dozens of people, all holding copies of The Room, waiting to get their movies signed. In front of them, is a woman holding a sign that states “The Room: Front of the line”. Being a Comic-Con veteran, I realized these people were there to meet this man I stumbled across, had spent several minutes with, and was now awaiting a free shirt while in a wrestling hold by the man they were trying to meet. The daggers that were cast from the looks of those waiting in line would have killed me, if Tommy’s anaconda-like grip on my neck didn’t first. When the child reemerged, he handed me a shirt. I thanked the child, Tommy, “Greh”, and said my goodbyes. “Thanks for being my biggest fan. HAHAHAHAHA!!” I could hear Wiseau wail across the throng of nerds.
And there it is, my story of a strange encounter with a bizarre man who made one of Hollywood’s worst. I love The Room. I’m not entirely sure if I love it purely because of how bad it is, or have an affection for it due to the aforementioned meeting with the people who created it. Either way, it goes down as one of my favorite celebrity encounter moments and genuinely a film I watch more than those that make my “favorite film” list. It’s a movie I’ve subjected several friends victims to, and one that I can’t wait to put others through. That moment in time, and the flick itself, is a constant reminder, that even when life hands you lemons, you can always chuck them at somebody.
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100 Days to Animal Crossing Challenge!
In the spirit of the countdown to New Leaf (remember when? :’) ), and to help wile away the days, here’s 100 questions for every day until New Horizons is here! Enjoy!
1. Do you prefer making up a new name for your villager, or using your own name? I always name my villager after myself. I go for the immersion!
2. Do you use the first map you’re given, or do you reset for layouts? I used to reset for layouts, until I started hacking. In New Horizons, I'll just be resetting for fruit!
3. Do you use the face you’re given, or do you wait for guides and choose your favourite? I would look for guides. Even with hacking, it's easier to just start with the face you want.
4. Favourite town/island name?/Have you a name picked out for your town/island? My favorite town name that I've seen so far is Lunaire. I don't want to share my town name just yet. It's nothing revolutionary or anything but its personal I guess?
5. Will you be sharing with friends/family, or is your island going to be all your own? I will be having my own island! My husband will have his own island as well. He says we'll spend most of our time in my island though lol
6. What’s a new feature you’re excited about? T E R R A F O R M
7. Favourite fruit? Peaches!
8. Least favourite fruit? Pears!
9. Favourite area? (Beach, campground, shopping district etc, from any entry in the series.) My favorite place was the wishing well in ACPG. So cute and sweet. As much as I loved the plaza in ACNL, it's got nothing on the original!
10. Where do you like to like to put your house? Do you like that level of customization, or do you prefer to have some things decided, like in older entries? I like to put my house near waterfalls, its relaxing and good for fishing! I could never get my house near the water in older games, so it was a nice change in ACNL.
11. Favourite grass pattern? Personally, I never really notice the grass patterns!
12. Least favourite grass pattern? See #11 :v
13. Favourite villager/s? My fav villagers are Skye and Punchy 💕
14. Least favourite villager/s? I hate Elise the Monkey
15. Did you like doing Tom Nook’s chores, or did you find those to be a pain? I used to find them a pain as a kid but I miss them now. It was so much more engaging!
16. Favourite NPC/s? My fav would have to be KK. He's such a cool dude, he's just full of nostalgia for me.
17. Least favourite NPC/s? I don't really have a least favorite? I guess Katie's mom, her lipstick is tacky imo
18. Do you use paths? Are you excited about the new path tool? With hacking, I use clover paths so they're easier to see on the editor. I can't wait to have real paths, though!
19. Favourite feature from an older entry? The festivities! The neighbors were so much more engaged in ACPG, ACNL is sorta boring in comparison.
20. What was your first Animal Crossing game? My first was ACPG, the gamecube one!
21. Favourite activity (fishing, bug catching, fossil hunting, other)? Fishing was always exciting AND relaxing for me
22. Least favourite activity? Fossil hunting, but only because I don't get immediately results and I'm impatient lol
23. Favourite bug? Even though I don't like these irl, snails hehe
24. Least favourite bug? Scorpions and tarantulas, only because I've almost never encountered them in ANY game
25. A quarter of the way there! How’s the wait? Agonizing
26. Favourite fish? It's not actually a fish, but I like the softshell turtle!
27. Least favourite fish? The napoleon fish, that big blue one -.-
28. Favourite fossil? The ammonite!
29. Least favourite fossil? Don't really have one lol
30. Favourite furniture series? I've always liked the flower set you get from Leif and the mush set, so cute!
31. Least favourite furniture series? The holiday specific ones, they're so tacky and boring!
32. Favourite soundtrack? (Gamecube, DS/Wii, etc) Gamecube for sure
33. Least favourite soundtrack? Honestly, ACNL. Don't dig the steel drum
34. Favourite wallpaper? The ivy wall hehe
35. Do you have a nice memory of the games/community etc you’d like to share? I didn't really have too much interaction with the community until recently! I just gained a bunch of followers and it's super flattering lol I want to become more involved!
36. Least favourite wallpaper? Cheese...
37. Favourite carpet? I personally love the old board flooring, so simple and rustic!
38. Least favourite carpet? CHEESE
39. Favourite furniture item? The fairy bottle from the Welcome Amiibo update!
40. Will you be buying a Switch for Animal Crossing, or do you already have one? I'm trading in my old switch for the slick new Animal Crossing Switch!
41. Least favourite furniture item? The ultra things that you can get from Redd, so useless!
42. Favourite flower? Carnations!
43. Least favourite flower? Cosmos!
44. Favourite hybrid? Blue roses for sure
45. Least favourite hybrid? Any cosmos
46. Favourite shirt? The denim shirt, long sleeve
47. Favourite dress? I like the raincoat
48. Favourite accessory? Silver frames!
49. Favourite hat/helmet? The keroppi pins
50. Halfway there! How’s the wait going? Pretty numb!
51. Favourite shop? Dream Suite! So much fun visiting towns!
52. Do you collect amiibo cards/figures? Would you like to see them used in the new game? I have all the amiibo cards are all my fav neighbors, and about have of the total amiibo cards that exist. Idk if I'll use them right away and get all my favs or if I'll let my town naturally fill up and then switch folks out yet
53. Fishing Tourney or Bug-Off? Fishing Tourney, I like fishing more
54. Do you like making your own clothing patterns? I used to, but ACPC made me appreciate the already made in game clothes
55. Did you streetpass with many other ACNL players, or is it a feature you didn’t get much use of? I don't get much use out of it nowadays but I would always come back from conventions with a full showcase when I was younger
56. Favourite villager species? Cats!
57. Least favourite villager species? Monkeys
58. Favourite nickname from a villager? I don't really remember the nicknames I got
59. Least favourite nickname from a villager? I also always hated them!
60. Do you try to collect everything in the game, or just try to get your favourite bits and pieces? Bits and pieces for sure
61. Favourite villager personality? Normal and lazy
62. Least favourite villager personality? Jock
63. Do you “plot reset” for villager house placement, or do you let them move in wherever they want? During my first playthrough of ACNL, I didn't. Then I started doing it when I learned about it. Then I started hacking!
64. Are you excited to wear any of the new accessories (like the bags etc shown in the E3 trailer)? ACPC sorta spoiled that stuff for me, they're still very much appreciated though
65. What season are you most looking forward to seeing in New Horizons? Spring!! 🌸🌸🌸
66. What’s your favourite season? Spring again hehe
67. Least favourite season? Summer, kinda boring
68. Which game’s events/holidays do you like the most? Ones that are actually engaging with you and the neighbors
69. Which game’s events/holidays do you like least? Days like solstices, which just served as "Isabelle is unavailable" Days
70. Do you have another nice AC related memory you’d like to share (in-game, of the community, etc)? When ACPG came out, I was about 6. I had a DVD with those lame live action commercials and I was ENAMORED with them! Obsessed! I begged my parents for the game and they would hem and haw "well there's a lot of reading... you'll have to get better at reading... we won't always be able to help you read it..." and I swore up and down that I'd learn and practice reading. Obviously, nearly 20 years later, I'm still completely obsessed
71. Do you prefer the “live” versions of K.K. Slider’s Songs, or the airchecks? I like both but for different reasons. The live versions are nice and nostalgic and the air checks are closer to the aesthetic that they're actually trying to portray
72. An NPC you’d like to see more of? Farley and Serena!
73. An NPC you’d like to see less of? None in particular, everyone is pretty well designed imo
74. If you could have any piece of AC merchandise, which would it be? I once saw a cute bento box with pics from the movie, my soul died knowing I may never find it to buy anywhere
75. Only 25 days left to go! How’s the wait? Still numb!
76. Will you be downloading the game, or getting a physical copy? I'm getting a physical copy and my husband is getting a digital, so he can't be tempted to sell it!
77. Do you like coming up with your own town tune/flag, or using what the game gives you/something from a book/tv show/other game, etc? I like doing a sort of japanese "end of school" bell for my town tune, only for the town clock. Idk how I'm gonna do it in this game though...
78. Do you play every day, or every other day/when you feel like it/other? I used to play ACNL everyday, then it got a bit boring. I'm gonna play ACNH literally everyday forever lol
79. Are you the kind of person who starts over after leaving their town for a really long time, or do you try to get right back to it? I tend to restart a lot, but I recently decided to leave my ACNL town with no regrets so I hacked the crap out of it without feeling tacky or cringy
80. Do you remember how you got into the Animal Crossing series? It immediately caught my eye as a 6 year old and its had its grasp on me since
81. Do you like to make up a story for the town/character when you play, or do you just play as yourself? I play as myself but I sorta make a bunch of headcanons for myself and my neighbors and stuff to make it more interesting for me. Sometimes its embarrassing and sometimes I need to tell the people!
82. Favourite dream address / “theme” for a town (pastel, fairytale, forest, horror, etc)? My favorite town has always been Pastelia, although the mayor's name is escaping me atm >m<"
83. Do you like to have your house fully upgraded/paid off, or do you like keeping it smaller/having fewer rooms? I used to fully upgrade my house all the time but my current ACNL house only have 4 rooms and that's IT
84. Favourite hairstyle? The one with the middle split and it goes behind the ears
85. Least favourite hairstyle? The three ponytails, rip ACWW me
86. Favourite hair colour? I go either pink or my natural brown
87. Least favourite hair colour? That bright green...
88. Do you prefer wearing in-game clothes, or custom designs? In game clothes!
89. Favourite hourly track? 2 pm from ACPG
90. Just ten more days! How’re you feeling? Half paid off my new switch, so ready!
91. Least favourite hourly track? I don't think I have one!
92. Do you prefer to know all about the game before designing your town/island/house, or do you like to wing it? Bro, I've been glued to my phone since the direct came out
93. Another nice Animal Crossing memory? ACNL came out around the time my husband and I started dating, almost exactly at the same time. Now its 8 years later, we're married, and we're gonna play another animal crossing game together finally!
94. Are you excited about same-system multiplayer? Its gonna be great for a lot of people, kinda useless for me though
95. Five more days! Are you going to trade/use amiibo to get your favourite villager, or wait for them to move in themselves/make a new favourite? I think I'll put in my 2 top favs, and then see what comes. Maybe after a few months I'll put everyone in
96. Favourite emotion/Shrunk joke? I don't really like his jokes, but my fav emotions to use are the bashful ones
97. Least favourite emotion/Shrunk joke? Not a fan of his dopey dance
98. Is there a feature you’d like to add to Animal Crossing? I wanna be able to decorate for my neighbors so badly!
99. Is there a feature you’d take away? It kinda seems like a lot of issues were solved in ACNH, I guess we'll see what's leftover as an annoying feature
100. Final day! Any more thoughts? Midnight release at my local gamestop! Gonna be there with a bunch of DOOM fans too! Can't wait!!
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I think we’re being short-sighted if we talk about spoiler-culture in terms of “wow writers don’t know how to tell a story anymore!” or “everything has to be drastic and ridiculous for shock value”. We should also consider the aspect of film and television as a billion dollar industry.
Let’s say someone makes a pretty accurate adaption of Hamlet.
You know what’s going to happen. You might look at the cast and decide whether you’d watch it or maybe you wouldn’t -or maybe you’re going to buy the DVD when you heard the first reviews or if that one Shakespeare geek friend of yours says it might be something for you - That’s film (or theatre) industry without plot-twists: Merely a decision based on what you know you can expect of the story. Does knowing what is going to happen make Hamlet a bad story? No, it’s the same play I watched at least 7 different versions of at this point and they all were the same, basically word for word.
But when spoiler culture no longer produces coherent, logical stories (and I count making people panic and worry about how knowing a major twist is going to ruin the experience as part of spoiler culture), it’s just selling something. Spoiler culture sells products, optimised to attract as many customers as possible. By telling you that your Hamlet adaption has a big fat twist and that if you know about that twist you won’t enjoy it, you are going to avoid reviews that tell you too much about the film and you can’t wait for the DVD or until you got feedback from people you trust. You have to consume it as soon as possible to avoid spoilers. And at this point, film tickets are about the price of a DVD - so it’s already a win. You might still buy the film later, so twice the win. Maybe you will even go again, if the film is in theatres for a few weeks and you didn’t wait, it makes odds higher.
Same with streaming services. No die hard Game of Thrones fan is going to wait until the DVD release to watch it - and in they might want to, we have to make sure that they read and hear everywhere that they will hate their favourite show if they know or hear any hint of what’s going to happen (hey maybe that’s because it sucks? :) ) - But even if they streamed it legally, they will likely still want a physical copy at some point, maybe some steelbook special version, so again, you maximised profits.
And guess what - Game of Thrones? Currently the best example of spoiler culture? I did quite a few Game of Thrones marathons with friends, big ones, small ones, often before a new season came out. Sometimes we would just sit down and watch Joffrey get murdered or Dany getting her dragons or something. We knew that Joffrey would die in that episode or Dany’s eggs would hatch but we still enjoyed it - maybe even more so than the first time we saw it bc we would discover new things and could discuss them. Bc that’s tv or film at it’s most fun - discovering something, enjoying the medium, sharing what you noticed, discussing it.
I remember watching a youtube review of The Killing Joke a long time ago and there’s one thing the guy who made it said that stuck with me for a really long time now: He was comparing the comic book panels and the background props in the film adaption and explained that one of the first things they did when reading a new comic book was to look at the backgrounds and how thoughtfully they were designed and how well the props fit the characters and so on. And I think that’s something you can apply to many things. It’s the reason why you can watch 100 versions of Hamlet and still enjoy each one - because you can discover something in each one, whether it’s set in Denmark or on a fucking Mars colony, you can think about whether you enjoy the choices they made there, whether they were fitting, what you would do differently. You can appreciate the actors you like, think about whose interpretation of their texts is closest to your person interpretation and whose interpretation made you consider new options. Even if you know Hamlet dies you are having a good time with a good adaption, because it’s well-written and a good director can have give you sets and costumes that you can stare at for ages and you can discover something new every single time.
But if you don’t have a good “backdrop” - if you don’t have a coherent story, if you have bad actors or your set design sucks or anything else - and you just try to make up for it with twists or brutality, there’s no point in rewatching it, because the rest of the experience wasn’t enjoyable. In fact, there’s no bigger hint that a film or book sucks than if spoilers might ruin it. If spoilers ruin the entire experience, then apparently there wasn’t much reason to watch that shit in the first place. And I think that’s what Hollywood doesn’t understand when they make cheap thrills mainstream: They will end up looking in wonder at indie films or films that weren’t honed and primed for maximal box office success who still do well - because someone put love and thought into them, and not just money and marketing.
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