#after s4 I have learned my lesson
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It’s funny that Bylers are so often accused of being delusional, because I was at my most delusional when I was anti-Byler.
I spent most of S4 refusing to acknowledge that Will had romantic feelings for Mike, despite knowing damn well what all that love triangle imagery and sad gay pining was implying. I convinced myself it was just bros before hoes drama; that perhaps Will wanted to come out to his best friend but felt nervous after six months of radio silence following “it’s not my fault you don’t like girls!”
The van scene forced me to accept that he really was in love, and it pissed me off because what was even the point of making him fall for a straight boy?
Mike’s bizarre “no homo” behaviour was clearly a symptom of growing up in a conservative 80s household, and witnessing Will’s sacrificial act of love in the van was the shitty lesson he needed to get over his homophobia.
I saw a typical straight male protagonist in an 80s coming-of-age film getting to coast his way to self-actualization on the back of queer suffering; a cruel and homophobic trope I thought we’d moved past by the year 2022.
But then the NINA reunion scene rolled around--
--and I immediately picked up on the heavy parallels between Mike and Will in how they greeted El. The realization hit me like a tonne of bricks: Mike feels the same way about her as Will does.
I thought, “wait, does this mean I was wrong about...? Oh my god. No way.
No fucking way.
Will was in love with El this whole time?? What the fuck, he’s been gay since S1 and she’s his sister this is BULLSHIT I will personally strangle the Duffers--”
Heteronormativity is a hell of a drug, kids.
Let this be a lesson to those of you who think media illiteracy is to blame for Byler denial -- how well someone understands the mechanics of storytelling is irrelevant if they insist on treating Mike’s supposed heterosexuality as an axiom instead of an evidence-based conclusion. The issue lies with bias, not literacy.
I was stubbornly anti-Byler because I knew I’d immediately fall in love with this ship if I allowed myself to have hope it could be canon, and the general state of queer rep in mainstream media meant I was all but guaranteed to get hurt if I was so stupid as to have hope. But in my desperation to cling to the “safe” heteronormative outcome, I only ended up hurting myself with my own silly assumptions.
We’ve seen both canonically gay characters in the show make exactly this mistake, needlessly hurting themselves with their silly but self-defensive assumptions about their love interests.
Stranger Things absolutely nails its depiction of the subtler ways internalized homophobia can manifest -- Will may feel like a mistake and be prone to beating himself up, but he isn’t some pitiful self-loathing queer who wishes he was straight, either. He’s just so crushed by heteronormativity that he accepts it as an inescapable fact of life and lets it guide his beliefs and actions.
Don’t get me wrong: Will, like Robin, is very sensible for being cautious in such a horrifically bigoted environment -- trying to openly defy that level of homophobia by yourself, especially when you’re young, is a bad idea.
But unlike Robin, he clearly struggles to accept that he has the right to chase his same-sex love interest. He's no longer simply exercising caution, but conforming to homophobic standards -- much in the same way I thought I was sensibly refusing to be queerbaited, when really I was just agreeing with the heteronormative status quo.
I realize now that this is the real reason Will was written into a homophobic 80s trope: not to teach Mike an outdated lesson in acceptance, but to maneuver Will into position for the lesson he’s going to learn in S5 about resisting conformity.
Will needs to learn that castrating himself to make straight people comfortable is a bad idea too. Not only is that a miserable way to live his life, but what sort of world is he leaving for the next generation of queer kids if he never questions these homophobic standards?
It’s just the cycle of abuse scaled up to the societal level.
This is what gives me confidence in Byler endgame. Queerness isn’t just an incidental element of Will’s personal arc, but suffuses the show to its very core -- it’s in its themes, its allegory, its characters.
So Will getting the boy isn’t just nice fan-service for Byler shippers, but a necessary ending if the show’s most important lesson is to land:
That it’s rewarding to make the difficult choice of standing up to bigotry in the face of forced conformity. Of choosing love.
Could it be the case that I was right the first time, and Stranger Things is going to turn out to be yet another heteronormative mainstream show that doesn’t commit to its own themes? Sure, maybe. But that wouldn’t invalidate the valuable lessons this show has already -- and apparently accidentally lol -- taught me.
Anyone who calls us deluded for hoping a mainstream show is going to have a gay pairing as its main couple just doesn’t realize -- or doesn’t care -- that they’re contributing to the very problem they’re describing.
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@eddiemonth prompt, oct 6th: Crush | You Could Start A Cult - Niall Horan | Sincere
a/n: steddie, pining, post-s4. un-betaed because I’m challenging myself to write these in under an hour.
read on ao3 | link to masterpost on ao3
A crush is called a crush for a reason, and Eddie Munson is learning this lesson the hard way.
The very hard way.
The Jesus Christ, all he did was laugh at my stupid joke and I’m going to collapse in on myself like a dying star kind of way.
It’s been nearly a year of this and Eddie feels like he’s being squashed beneath the weight of the giant boulder that is his crush on Steve Harrington. A solid year of his hopeless, pointless, wonderful crush on Steve Harrington.
Everyone knows– well, everyone above the age of 16 has figured it out at least. Eddie isn’t exactly known for his subtlety, after all.
Jeff, Gareth, and Freak had their reservations at the start after years of being persecuted by the same genre of person Steve had been in high school but once Eddie spun them the tale of how Steve carried out from beneath the rubble of a collapsed building, they’d come around. Jeff took the longest, finally acquiescing after properly meeting Steve.
You were always into jocks, dude, c’mon. Sounds like this one might have some redeemable qualities at least.
He couldn’t quite tell them the actual truth, but it’s truth-adjacent and does the job. It paints Steve as the hero Eddie knows him to be, whether Steve wants to acknowledge the title or not.
Robin knew before they’d even gone back into the Upside Down, before Eddie nearly died in Dustin’s arms and then again, in Steve’s.
I was there when you called him Big Boy, Munson. You’re not subtle. He’s just oblivious.
Nancy figured it out when Eddie was in the hospital, still a little loopy from painkillers and who knows what else.
You were on another planet and couldn’t stop talking about his chest hair, Eddie.
Argyle knew on sight the first time he saw Eddie with Steve. It was a little spooky, actually, how on the nose he was about two people he barely knew but on the nose, he was.
You’re the only one callin’ him Stevie, brochacho. And he’s the only one calling you Ed so… take that for what it’s worth.
Jonathan knew because Argyle knew and Jonathan and Argyle seem to have something there, too, but that’s none of Eddie’s business. All of the unrequited love bandwidth he has is tied up in Steve, and his smile, and his way with the kids, and his cologne–
“You got something on your face.”
Robin nudges him in the side behind the kitchen counter where he’s been leaning, watching helplessly through the kitchen window as Steve grills another round of burgers going for their We Lived And Can’t Tell The Tale Because We All Signed NDAs party starting soon.
Eddie wipes his face frantically, hoping he didn’t have ketchup or something on his cheek from Steve’s trial run of the burgers. He pulls his hand back to find nothing besides Robin grinning, bemused and pitying all the same when it clicks.
“I’m not actually drooling. Just… metaphorically. God, let me cling to some shred of dignity here.”
Steve flips another burger, this one landing square right-side-up. Eddie groans, Robin rolls her eyes, and he laments.
“What the fuck is wrong with me that that’s so hot? He’s not doing anything special! He’s just existing in those too-tight jeans and plain tee shirt and I’m ready to lay waste to the evils of the world to get to him. And they say I’m the cult leader? I’d follow this asshole into the bowels of Hell.” Eddie sighs and drops his head back to stare at the ceiling.
It’s offensive, honestly, the popcorn ceiling and the way it mocks him.
“I mean, you kinda already did.” Robin shrugs and bumps her shoulder into his, somehow softer than her initial nudge. “And look, it’s not my business, but I think you might be surprised if you talked to him. He’s not the same he was when he said all that shit to Jonathan, y’know.”
Eddie whips to the side, too quickly as his head spins for a brief moment. He searches her eyes for hints or a glimmer of hope. Something. Anything.
“What do you know, Buckley?” It’s less a question and more a statement.
“I don’t know a damn thing, other than a conversation might do you both some good. But look,” Robin sighs and hops up to sit on the island next to Eddie as he turns his attention back to Steve manning the grill. He’s trying not to stare at the way Steve twirls the spatula… and failing, of course. How are his hands so big?
“Hello? Munson, Earth to heart-eyes over there. This is information you might really want to listen to.” Robin waves a hand in front of his face and he jolts out of his thoughts. It’s for the best– the second he gets lost in Steve’s hands, it’s all over for him.
“Sorry, sorry, I’m listening.” Eddie responds, vaguely reminded of his many years in school.
“I was saying, Steve’s a good guy. The best guy, really. And I know he’s acted fine with being single the last year or so, but he’s lonely behind that facade. So if this is just like, a crush that’s gonna pass, keep it to yourself. But if you really like him, if you wanna like, be with him, then yeah. I think you might want to talk to him.”
Eddie considers his feelings for a long moment, staring back out the window. This time, he watches Steve at the grill and sees so much more than a guy in too-tight jeans and a plain tee shirt flipping burgers. He sees jumping into the lake, rushing through the Upside Down, finding a quiet moment in the chaos traipsing through the Upside Down’s version of the woods. He sees what little he remembers of bleeding out and being carried by Steve through the portal, of waking up in the hospital, handcuffed to the bed and Steve sitting in the corner with Wayne. He sees every fleeting moment, every soft touch, every nickname and split joint and pizza with half pepperoni and half bacon.
He looks out the window at Steve and sees his life.
Maybe the weight of his crush has only felt so heavy in the way that holding your arms out for too long begins to feel heavy. Maybe the forced, sustained tension would be relieved if he just let himself relax.
“I’m with him already, for better or worse.”
Robin hums in acknowledgement before breaking into laughter as they both watch Steve transfer the burgers to a plate, only to accidentally knock the dish off the side of the grill. He must hear their laughter because his eyes shoot directly to the window and he points the spatula at them, free hand on his hip. “It’s not fucking funny, now I have to go to the store!”
“It’ll probably be for the worse.” Robin looks at him and raises an eyebrow.
Eddie just laughs and shakes his head, tendrils of hair falling into his face that he pulls further across his mouth.
“Worth it.”
#steddie#steddie fic#steddie fanfic#steddie fanfiction#steve harrington x eddie munson#eddie munson x steve harrington#steve harrington#eddie munson#eddie month#stranger things#stranger things fic#stranger things fanfic#stranger things fanfiction#st fic#myblurbs#eddie month prompts
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Second Chance
Summary: Trust is not something you give to people easily. So when you start trusting Steve Harrington little by little, he knows it's a big deal. And he won't screw it up.
Female reader with trust issues who's afraid to fall asleep next to anyone and Steve being the sweet boy he is. Takes place the fall before S4 (with flashback to S2). Requested by anon. Gif credit: commanderogerss.
Tutoring Steve Harrington was hard.
Not because he wasn't getting the subject matter. He was. The problem was that he was so distractingly charming while he was doing it.
When you had taken on the tutoring program at Hawkins High, you were expecting to pick up a few easy credentials to help beef up your college application and raise your chance for a scholarship. But when Steve Harrington walked into the study room, hopeful on getting help in Algebra, the butterflies in your stomach warned you that this wouldn't be the cakewalk you had expected.
"Are you my tutor?" he asked, settling in the seat kitty-corner from you at the table.
"You're here for Algebra, right?" you answered. The guidance office had only told you the time and place - nothing about the student you'd be tutoring. If you had known it'd be the hottest guy in school - maybe the hottest guy you'd ever laid your eyes on - you could have mentally prepared.
"Right," Steve answered. "Steve Harrington."
As if you didn't know. You gave him your name then immediately pointed down to his binder.
"What concept are you on?" you asked.
"No time to waste, huh?" Steve said. "You're a senior, too, right?"
Steve looked at you as you nodded, your expression clearly indicating that you were eager to just get on with the lesson. But he was intrigued by you - he'd seen you around and noticed how pretty you were, but had never learned your name.
"Yes," you answered.
"Have you been a tutor for long?" Steve asked.
"You're actually my first student," you said. The playful way his eyes travelled your face, taking you in, was not helping tame the butterflies.
"I'm honored," Steve said with a hand to his chest. "I'll do my best. Even though I'm crap at math."
"What grade are you sitting at?" you asked.
"A respectable D-plus," he answered.
"And what do you want to finish with?"
"Is an A+ possible?"
"With two months left of the semester, I'm not sure if-"
"If you can dream it, you can do it," Steve said, pointing a finger behind you. You turned to see the cheesy, space-themed poster with the motivational quote in white lettering.
You giggled and turned back around to face him. It was the first time he heard it, but Steve quickly surmised that he loved your laugh.
"We'll do our best," you said. "So, are you on quadratic equations?"
"Just finished that one," he answered. "We're on... functions, I think?"
"My favorite," you said. Steve noticed the hint of a smile on your face. How somebody could get excited about math was beyond him - but he didn't want to say anything about it in fears that you'd get offended.
You were obviously a bit on the shy side - diverting your gaze quickly and reshuffling in your seat - and he thought it was really, really cute.
He realized he wasn't going to get much more small talk in, and opened the binder you were staring at. He watched as you read through the list of the semester's assignments, taking inventory of each item.
“Two unit tests and a final exam left,” you summarized. “What’s today’s homework?”
Over the next hour, you spoke about math - and only math - with Steve. He didn’t need much help after you explained the strategy to him. After your first session, both of you had already felt confident that he had mastered the topics covered in the day’s homework.
“I can’t believe I get this,” Steve said in awe. “You’re, like... a wizard.”
“No,” you laughed. “You did all this.” You pointed to his writing on the lined paper in front of both of you.
“Couldn’t without you,” Steve replied.
You shared a smile with him and the warm feeling it gave you was familiar. All too familiar. It was a feeling that had only led to disappointment and hurt in the past. Your last relationship had crumbled and left you feeling broken. The break-up had only happened two weeks prior and it left an impact. You could never trust someone like that again.
“So, I think we’re booked here for Tuesdays and Thursdays after school, right?” you said, diverting your gaze and looking down at your agenda.
“Right,” Steve said. You were intriguing to him and he wanted to get to know you, but he realized you were not opening up any time soon.
After that first day, the two of you had four hour-long sessions before his next unit test. The following Thursday afternoon, he came in with a big smile and a piece of paper. It was the Algebra test he had taken the previous morning.
“B! A freakin’ B, man!” Steve boasted, holding the test paper up.
“Steve, shh!” you half-laughed, worrying his loud tone would get you kicked out from the library, even though you were in the confines of a closed study room.
He winced and chuckled, closing the door behind him.
“This is the best I’ve ever done on a math test,” he said. “You work miracles. Please tell me you’re going to be a teacher. You’re gonna make geniuses.”
Steve settled in his usual chair and showed you the test. You looked over it, feeling proud of him and good that you were able to help him achieve this.
“I’m still not sure,” you told him. “But my major will be math, so we’ll see where that takes me.”
Steve couldn’t tell you this - hell, you’d only talked about anything outside of math to him for a grand total of five minutes - but he’d never felt more confident about his intelligence before he met you.
You had a patient teaching style and a knack for explaining things in a way he could understand. Steve had also been unsure about his academic performance, and with his nasty break-up with Nancy that had hanging over his head since before you even starting tutoring him, he was finally seeing light at the end of the tunnel.
Maybe he had a future after all.
“Great job, Steve,” you said kindly. “Next is polynomials?”
Steve nodded, understanding that you were probably always going to keep him at a distance. He wished it wasn’t that way, but he figured if your paths ever crossed again, he’d give it another try. Hopefully then, you’d be willing to get to know him, too.
---
You walk into the video store on a Wednesday afternoon, headache still tight in your temples. Your Statistics class had been stressing you out and you needed a break. You figured a comedy movie you could turn your brain off to watch was the perfect cure.
You meander through the aisles. Steve, standing at the front counter, notices you before you notice him. Normally, he’d run over and help. But seeing you makes him nervous.
It’d been two years since you tutored him. He had finished his Algebra class with a high B, thanks to you, but never had a chance to speak with you again after your last tutoring session. High school was over and he knew nothing about you but your name, your college major, and some other little tidbits he picked up.
Steve always regretted not asking for your number, but you had seemed so closed off that he figured you’d say no. But here you are. Now. And it feels like a second chance.
Earlier that day, he had been upset that he was working a solo shift without Robin, who could make the hours go by quicker, but he’s relieved now that she’s not here to see his giddiness.
After a few minutes, you make your way to the counter, movie in hand. When you realize Steve is waiting on the other side of the tabletop, you feel the same flustered way you did when he walked in the study room ages ago.
“Hey,” you say, smiling with a tilt of your head. How did he get even cuter?
“Whoa, long time,” he replies, trying to play off that he had already seen you.
“Yeah,” you say. “How are you?”
“Living the dream.” Steve vaguely motions to the small video rental store you’ve both found yourself in. “Taking some time off before college. You?”
It’s his staple response in case anyone asks about his life plans. He can’t exactly tell people he’s staying in Hawkins in case the Upside Down opens up again, letting a slew of monsters in.
“Nice,” you answer sincerely. That’s something Steve likes about you - you’re not judgmental. “I’m at Hanover.”
“Cool,” Steve says. He always knew your smarts would get you far. “How’s that?”
“My Stats class is the reason I came in here. Just to find a distraction. It’s really doing a number on me.”
“Good one,” Steve says, finger pointed at you. You take a moment, then laugh.
“Oh... My brain is so... turned to mush that I didn’t even realize I made a pun.”
“I was always the one that had those ‘Ohhh...’ moments,” Steve laughs, thinking back to your tutoring sessions. “So, this is what it feels like to be on the other side. I feel smart.”
“You are smart, Steve,” you say, placing your selected VHS on the counter. “I don’t get how you never saw it.”
It means a lot to Steve to hear that - especially from you - and he doesn’t want to let you go again.
“How long are you in town?” he asks nervously, taking the tape and scanning it.
“Indefinitely,” you say with a chuckle. “I’m still living at home and commuting to school for now.”
“Oh,” Steve answers. “I’ve... I haven’t seen you around.”
“I... keep my circle small,” you tell him. It’s the truth. You can’t trust easily. The people you do trust are few and far between. He nods, looking at his screen.
“Have you rented here before? Do you have an account?”
“Not here,” you say, then tell him your information for the rental system.
“You looking for a three-day rental?” Steve asks.
“Sure, that’s fine,” you answer.
“Five dollars.”
You set the bill on the counter top.
“Are you busy with your circle Friday night?” he finally asks, eyes refusing to make contact with yours as he opens the till.
You smile to yourself. Despite the usual knee-jerk impulse you get telling you to stay far away from boys - especially ones as cute as Steve - you had only positive impressions of him. He always seemed sweet.
He puts the tape in a bag, along with a receipt.
“Have something in mind?” you ask.
“Dinner?” Steve asks. “And I promise we won’t talk about math. Especially not stats.”
You laugh, taking the bag he’s handing to you.
“Sure,” you say. “You have my number now, right?” You look at the small computer he had just been working on.
“Not creepy if I take it from the system?” he asks.
“Not if I give you permission,” you reassure. “Which I am.”
He lights up in the most adorable way and nods at you.
When you walk out, he replays the conversation in his head a bunch of times. And then he starts thinking about how he’ll call you tonight - and how to sound cool over the phone.
---
When Friday rolls around, Steve picks you up at 7 like you both had agreed to over the phone. You couldn't be happier to see him after a full day of studying.
You slide into his car, taking in the aroma of the cologne you remember smelling when you had sat closely together in your tutoring sessions. Some things never change.
The restaurant he chose is lovely and once you’re seated there, you smile at him from across the table, the candle between you flickering.
“I think this beats a study room,” he says.
“Were those tutoring sessions so bad?” you tease.
“No, no,” he quickly says, shaking his head.
“I know, I’m kidding,” you say. “It does beat a study room.” You smile at him again. Despite your mind’s protests to stay away from Steve, to protect yourself from all the potential pain he could cause, you let your heart take the lead.
The dinner zooms by as you two catch up on the past two years, starting from high school graduation to now. Steve omits the parts that would leave you running for the hills - anything involving monsters or Russian soldiers is off the table - but he opens up about everything else.
While you eat dessert together, Steve looks at you to appreciate your beauty for what feels like the millionth time.
"It's nice to get to know you," he says sincerely. You meet his gaze and take a deep breath before saying your next words.
“I’m sorry I wasn’t exactly... an open book back then,” you say. “In high school, I mean.”
“Oh no no, it’s okay,” Steve says. “You had a job to do. I respect it. You made me actually like math a little bit." You laugh, shaking your head.
“Still,” you say. “I... regret being so closed off. I just have some issues with... trusting people.” Steve watches you from across the table as you lower your gaze onto your dessert, playing with the food, chewing your bottom lip.
“How come?” he asks, voice low.
“Bad break-up,” you answer. “Bad relationship, actually.”
“That blows,” he says. "I'm sorry."
You look up at him to meet his eyes again. You force a smile. You wouldn’t be surprised if he decided then and there you weren’t worth the hassle. But his next words told you everything.
“When you’re ready, you can tell me more about it,” Steve says. “I know about bad break-ups, for what it’s worth.”
“You do?” you ask.
When Steve opens up about his heartbreak with Nancy, you feel the urge to hug him. He sprinkles in jokes while he tells you about it to try to downplay the pain he’d been in, but it doesn’t quite work - you can see the hurt in his grimace.
“Took me a while to get over that one,” Steve says. He takes a sip of his water. “Focusing on polynomials helped."
You smile, thinking back to your afternoons spent tutoring him.
"You decide to be a teacher yet?" Steve asks. "I always thought it was your calling. Remember when Harris thought I was cheating?"
You laugh, thinking back to Mr. Harris, the math teacher, having a serious talk with Steve to discuss his apparent cheating. Once Steve had told you about it, you went to Mr. Harris the next morning to vouch for him.
"I did so good that he thought I couldn't possibly have done it myself," Steve continues with a laugh. "Only a great tutor can improve their student so much that they're accused of cheating."
Beneath your laugh, your heart pains for Steve. When he had told you about the talk with Mr. Harris, who couldn't believe that Steve did so well on his own, you felt angry for him. He clearly already had insecurities about his smarts, and the rigid math teacher's accusations did not help.
"Like I always said, Steve, it's not the tutor," you say kindly. "I didn't go in and write that test for you. You did that yourself." Steve is trying not to show it, but your words make the butterflies wild in his stomach.
"I am, by the way," you tell him. "Going to try to become a teacher."
"In Hawkins?" he asks. He regrets the words immediately - maybe they seem too pushy for a girl not interested in opening up very much.
"Wherever will take me," you answer, unfazed.
The two of you share another smile, then the waiter drops off the bill. That doesn't stop your conversation, as you stay chatting in the emptying restaurant for another hour.
When you settle into the car and make your way down Main, you notice a line of red break lights. Traffic is at a complete standstill.
"What the hell..." Steve whispers. His heart tightens at the thought of it being something Upside Down-related.
He switches through radio stations, trying to find someone talking, and finally a couple minutes into a news station, he hears that a telephone pole collapsed, causing the slowdown but officials have said the repair won't take long. He breathes a sigh of relief.
"Everything ok?" you ask.
"Just glad it's not an accident or something worse," Steve admits. "Hawkins has been through enough."
You watch his profile, grinning to yourself at how kind he really is. He had told you about the Starcourt fire and how he had been there. You wish you were there to comfort him.
Steve looks over at you and you feel blood rush to your cheeks when you're caught staring.
"Steve has been through enough, too," you say, gazing ahead at the bumper in front of you. You don't see it, but he smiles at you and hopes you feel the same way about him that he does about you.
"I can turn around and take the outside roads?" he offers.
"Oh, it's okay, that'll take ages," you say. "I'm fine to wait if you are."
Within fifteen minutes of conversation, you feel yourself dozing off. The combination of studying all day and the darkness of the car makes your eyelids heavy. At this point, the car is slowly inching forward, as police let a few cars in your lane through, then a few in the opposite, but you are nodding off.
"No hard feelings if you want to nap," Steve says with a cute laugh. "I know you mentioned you had your head in a textbook since the morning."
"No," you say, a little too sternly. He tenses up a bit and swallows hard.
"Sorry, I-"
"Sorry," you interrupt. "It's not you. I just don't feel comfortable sleeping when people are around. A byproduct of the whole 'trust issues' thing."
Steve nods slowly, looking ahead, inching forward to follow the car in front of you. He gets the clearance to go into the opposite lane and can finally speed up.
"No problem," he says sincerely. "We're moving again so you'll be able to dream about math in your bed very shortly."
You laugh.
"You think I dream about math?" you ask.
"I still remember how excited you got about functions," Steve teases.
The two of you share light banter the rest of the short drive, but you're sure that after that outburst, Steve isn't interested anymore, and you scold yourself for thinking he could be trusted.
To your surprise, when he stops the car in front of your house, he rakes his hair back and looks at you with a small smile.
"Would you want to do this again?" Steve asks.
"Get teased about my love for math?" you reply.
"Yeah," Steve says with an adorable raise of his eyebrows.
"Yeah," you echo with a smile.
---
When the two of you make it official, you feel like you're living in a dream. Steve is kind of a perfect boyfriend - attentive, loving, and best of all, patient when your trust issues flare up and get the best of you.
When the Christmas break rolls around, the middle of the week lines up perfectly with your four-month anniversary since your first date.
Another thing you learned about Steve - he's very sentimental.
He plans a movie night at his apartment for that night and when you arrive, you smile when you see the fake pine tree you had helped him decorate just the weekend before.
"This side is way better, isn't it?" Steve asks, motioning to the left side - the one you had done - as you take your boots off.
"I think the perfectly-centered star on top beats it all," you say, remembering how carefully he had placed it.
Steve pulls you in for a tight hug, then gives you a tender kiss.
"Happy four months," he whispers. You smile and give him another kiss, his head in your hands, fingers brushing his soft hair.
Steve is much happier since he finally moved out of the house a month ago. You've definitely noticed a difference in the tension he would have when talking about his parents; if they weren't at home, they were grilling him about his future.
Here, in his small apartment, he's content. And you love seeing him like that.
You two settle on the couch and start your movie marathon, cuddled up and snacking. You didn't want to tell him just how tired you'd been - you felt you were just barely making it through your semester and he was so excited about this night that being exhausted might burst his bubble.
But five minutes into the first movie, you slip into your dreams.
When Steve notices your breathing deepen, he looks down to see you sleeping on his shoulder. His heart swells and warms at the sight. He gazes over your pursed lips and full eyelashes, and he swears that you look like an angel.
He stares ahead at the screen, afraid not to move, not to wake you.
These last four months with you have been his happiest. You'd told him you were slow to trust and he had no doubts that you were worth the wait.
When you wake up and realize you had fallen asleep on Steve, your heart fills with joy. Your mind and body had subconsciously decided he could be trusted.
"Good morning," he says sweetly. You rub your eyes and laugh, then shuffle to lie down on his lap, looking ahead at the screen. Steve grins, his fingers finding their way in your hair, lightly massaging at the roots.
"How long was I out for?" you ask.
"Only like ten minutes," he says.
"I'm sorry."
"For what?" he asks, surprised.
"Falling asleep on our date."
Steve laughs. You turn to lie on your back, gazing up at your boyfriend's tender smile.
"You fell asleep on me," Steve states, a hint of wonder in his tone.
"I did," you say. He clearly understands the meaningfulness of what had just happened, and the care behind his eyes is impossible to miss.
"I trust you too, you know," Steve mumbles, calloused hand on your cheek. You nuzzle into his hand and laugh. "With my life. And with my grades."
"Same thing," you joke.
Steve looks down at you, his big hand on your cheek, his other in your hair, and wonders what he did to deserve you. Life had handed him quite a few curveballs the past few years, but you were his light at the end of the tunnel.
"What?" you ask, inquisitive about his stare.
"Just thinking about how much you mean to me," Steve says. "And how happy I am that I 're-met' you. You know, I always thought you were cute."
"I always thought you were cute."
He blushes at this.
"And I'm happy, too," you say. And it's the truth.
You never thought you could trust again, but Steve is living proof that it is possible. You don't know what will happen in the future, but your heart feels safe in Steve's hands.
---
Taglist: @calpurniatypes ; @rexorangecouny ; @slashersluttt ; @baker151910 ; @ultrunning ; @prettyboisteveharrington : @sunflowersturn ; @mychemicalsleep ; @milkiane ; @alicetweven ; @daenerystheradnotmad
#fic#steve harrington imagine#steve x reader#steve harrington x reader#steve harrington fanfic#steve harrington fan fic#steve harrington fanfiction#steve harrington x you#steve harrington x y/n#steve harrington and you#steve harrington and y/n#steve harrington and reader#steve harrington fluff#steve harrington imagines
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John, Lies and Trust, and the Dark World
Okay, okaaaayyyyy I'm so normal about all this you have no idea *exhaaaale*
This is basically John's character study after all the s4 finale's revelations. The post ended up being too long, and I know how we're all here either ND or just hate long walls of text, so I broke it down into a series of about 4-5 posts I'll put here gradually. The last (?) part, the parallels between s3 and 4, is still in progress, but others are completed.
There's goint to be a general introduction, then the Dark World, the deal, John's personality after the Dark World, and S3 &4 parallels. Enjoy! I'll be glad to discuss.
Introduction
So, I've relistened to s3 and the finale once again. I'm not feeling well, fellas. The more I think about this whole deal, the worse it gets.
What initially tripped me off was how lifeless Arthur sounded after he learned about John's deal with Kayne and how easily he agreed to Kayne's offer, like he suddenly lost all the fight he used to have in him - because John betrayed him with his lies, in Arthur's pov (probably). Now, I've listened to the finale about 3 or 4 times and still can't determine if The Great Divorce is waiting for us or not. There wasn't that much time for any interactions or processing, so while Arthur sounded shocked initially, it's also Kayne they're dealing with, and, moreover, ecstatic Kayne, which is worse, and he's just blew up one person's head and yeeted another gods know where. AND he hears John, so not much room for talking things out. Maybe Arthur was just being smart and cautious. That's what I'm hoping for, anyway, because the boys were getting MUCH better at communication and established a remarkable level of trust between them. And Arthur had all the hints at what was going on in general, so. Is he an investigator or what.
So that's not what I want to talk about but needed to get this out of my system, and it leads to the actual topic.
Trust.
Trust between these two has been something like a cornerstone since the very beginning, has been tested and broken and mended a number of times, but it becomes one of the most important and prominent topics as early as in season 2. We all remember the pits, thank you very much, right.
This was an important lesson for John to learn. He... that's a bit of a projection but it seems to me like he's finding out the limits of what's what (the good and the bad, acceptable and not, hurtful and healing, etc.) a bit like I do - by hitting the extremes and gradually coming to the happy middle, like a pendulum. Once the extreme is found, he'd try his best not to go there again unless it's really necessary in his opinion. Before the pits he learned that saying and doing some things was a no-go, and lying to Arthur was one of them.
Frankly, it's almost funny how bad he was at it almost since the beginning. He's supposed to be a great manipulator, and seemed to be pretty sucessful at it at first, but lost his cool too quickly, being too annoyed by Arthur and just grumbling the orders. Even so, when he started getting attached even in the slightest, lying immediately became more difficult for him. So this is one thing we learn rather early: John actually hates lying. He's really, really BAD at it when it comes to Arthur whom he cares about, even when he's not very sure about it yet. He lies so reluctantly that it's pretty easy to spot when something's off and you don't even have to be an investigator for that.
Could it be partly because the original King in Yellow is supposed to whisper the truths any sane person cannot bear, and not just manipulate them?
Right before the pits, when they agreed to trust each other and John rolled back to lying, it wasn't just for funsies or a vicious manipulation. And he didn't like what he was doing. But, in his opinion, it was necessary, it was useful and helped him - and them - in a precarious situation. He lied about the depiction of the KiY on the wall and some other things which seemed objectively dangerous and could trip Arthur off if mentioned, but didn't take anything away if stayed hidden. And the wall carving thing was simply about John's fear. I'm not sure what exactly he was scared of, but to me it seemed as if it was of losing Arthur's trust just when they established it. They arrived to the KiY's place, what if Arthur suspects John was plotting something (when he wasn't, but how does he prove it?!), so better not to mention this. It's just a carving, who cares, they'll be fine. It probably sounds irrational, but that's how I saw the situation. And it was irrational, because John panicked.
I can't remember which ficwriter said that John reverts to lying when he's scared (pls tell me I'll leave the credits here), but I think it's a very good observation that's never come across my mind before I read it.
So he was panicking and making things up as he went, and it backfired exactly with what he was trying to avoid.
Therefore:
John hates lying and isn't good at it
reverts to it when deeply scared
learned it was a very important point to never lie to Arthur, otherwise the trust will be lost (and John values this trust a lot)
It goes without saying that the no lying rule goes both ways as both boys hate being lied to.
And right after this newfound knowledge and determination to be better John promises to never forget Arthur (mutually), then promptly loses Arthur (not being sure if he's even alive) and gets pulled back to the King.
I was impressed to learn he stayed true to his word and fought the King tooth and nail every moment he could. Even Kayne confirmed that, so it's not just John's bravado.
He won. Actually this is a huge revelation in on itself, because it shows how just strong and big part of the King John is: he's beaten the King in a battle of wills in his own realm. Think about it, just think. No wonder he defeated Yellow, too.
I bet he thought he had nothing left to lose and was desperate not to lose himself. John actually wants to live really bad, I think, and not as a part of someone else, but as his own person. but definitely together with Arthur by the way he sounded in s3 and 4
And then he ended up in the Dark World, alone, just like he used to fear.
TBC
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My understanding about why Chloé is even more insufferable past S3?
We have seen that after Heart Hunter / Miracle Queen events, Chloé now hates Ladybug so much that she rejects anything related to her ex-idol. We see it how she refused to take the Miracle Charm Ladybug was handing her at the end of Queen Banana.
Ladybug : There is a way I can help you if you want.
Chloé : I don't want anything from you. You're non-existent to me. You're Lady-Nothing-At-All!
So, to me, like the Miracle Charm, Chloé is also rejecting all the very few lessons she went through during S1-S2 because Ladybug was the one to assist her in learning those (Anti-Bug, Despair Bear, Zombizou, Queen Wasp and Malediktator).
Not that those lessons changed Chloé radically (she never apologized to her classmates nor to Marinette and after becoming a superhero, she got the big head in the process), but they were at least some restraints that Chloé learned and was willing to respect to a degree, especially if they could allow her to have the Bee Miraculous again. But it never happened, and Chloé now considers to have been tricked by Ladybug and those foolish ideas.
And since there is officially zero chance of Ladybug giving her the Bee Miraculous, why would Chloé continued to follow the teachings of an idol who she considers has betrayed her trust and who she now hates with all her guts? There is no point for Chloé to continue doing so. In fact, she will revert to her old self. Problem is, unlike Chloé, everyone else around her did grow and change for the better. So now, Chloé's old antics aren't working as effectively on others anymore and because of this, she is growing even more frustrated by facing an opposition that wasn't initially there before the school year began.
And we all know Chloé never actually learned to channel and deal with her frustration, especially now that she is not having it her way anymore.
Anyway, this is my personal understanding of what her character is going through throughout S4-S5.
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Hi so I saw some your anon asks about lmk s4 and SWK so I am curious about what you think of the special and if I solved anything about not seeing SWK POV and him always the one with mistakes
The special does nothing to remedy any of my issues with the show and especially with season 4. Even though it places the 3 Demon Kings as firmly (mostly firmly?) villains, it's also kind of weird about it.
But my main issue is with SWK and Macaque.
Oh my God. If my biggest issue is how the show treats SWK, and my second biggest issue is the world ending after world ending stakes, then my third biggest problem is Macaque. Or, more importantly, his relationship to SWK and the rest of the cast. Like the more Macaque becomes a good guy the more I hate him. But that's besides the point, let's talk about the show's weird framing around these two to put some context to my problems with the special.
When Macaque is first introduced pretty much everything about him is meant to scream deceitful. From his appearance as looking like SWK, but not (to the point where MK mistakes the two until he gets close), to his very powers which are shadows (which tend to symbolize mystery, deceit, and general evilness) that are also very similar to SWK's powers. His purpose in that episode is gaining MK's trust so he can betray him. Okay, fine first episode, lesson learned.
The second time he's shown is in Shadow Play. The way the story telling is framed (through use of shadows, Macaque tricking the gang into thinking he's someone else, and later forcing MK to fight his shadow-fied friends just to push a message he projects onto MK for the crime of being SWK's apprentice and vaguely similar to him) would say that Macaque was either outright lying or twisting the details about his and SWK's past to put himself in a more favorable light (or more importantly, to put SWK into a less favorable one). MK defeats him, and we're still meant to not trust him. Fine. Cool.
Skipping over S3...
THEN WE GET TO THE SPECIAL. Macaque is not only shown to be completely in the right, but SWK is even worse than what was shown in shadow play. TF. Mind you, the whole point of the scroll was to show SWK's past, AND WE NEVER GET TO SEE IT FROM HIS PERSPECTIVE. It is only through Macaque's telling of the story that we see it, and this time it's framed as being the honest truth. It is SWK's fault for being so power hungry and full of himself that they have their falling out. Bro WHAT??? Mind you, since SWK is literally trapped under a mountain Macaque is also the one who leaves instead of the other way around. WHAT???
Let's put jttw aside entirely. This is just poor storytelling because it makes Macaque as a character not make sense. Why is he the one obsessed with SWK? Why does he want to be shown "the real Sun Wukong" in S1? Why is he upset that Sun Wukong abandoned him? He didn't abandon him. MACAQUE left.
And all of that really really begs the question WHY DID SUN WUKONG KILL HIM??? You can at least infer that if SWK was the one who left, and knowing the violence Macaque is willing to enact on others to get revenge, then Macaque likely did, or tried to do, something to the jttw crew that SWK was not too happy about. But Macaque was the one who chose to leave the relationship, so... what happened??? Why was Macaque even there? Why would he care?
Not to mention, for me at least, it destroyed what was left of my interest in Macaque after S3.
Sorry for the rant, but to answer your question, no, the special does not fix anything about the issue with SWK's lack of pov. It makes it worse.
#lmk critical#monkie kid critical#oooo I'm so mad#like for me Macaque was peak when he was just a villain#I loved him he was awful and lowkey pathetic
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Hiyaa!! You think there would mini older siblings pact between Nancy and Lucas? Not to discredit Jonathan, but they have a more similar ‘i am annoyed with my older sibling but i love them still relationship’ or any headcanons those two would bond over?
Nancy and Lucas are so underrated as a duo. I think so many people forget that they have grown up together.
I headcanon Lucas is a few months older than Mike, and Nancy loves to bring that up. Whenever Lucas and Mike get into little fights she loves backing Lucas up, and Mike’s like “shut up you’re not involved in this”, and she’s like “I’ve been friends with Lucas for longer than you have.”
I also think that as babies Lucas was the quiet well behaved one and Mike was the loud one who cried a lot. Nancy, on multiple occasions, has tried to swap them. As much as little three year old Nancy loved her brother, I think on particularly bad days after Mike has cried all night and woken Nancy up, she has grumpily said “I wish Lucas was my brother”. Of course, Lucas was probably the same way, but she only saw the good side of him whenever Karen babysat.
Moving onto modern day, I think Nancy teaches Lucas to drive. Mike is in the back of the car, I think he’s still 14 in S4, so not quite old enough to learn yet, but also I think once he does he is absolutely refusing to take lessons from Nancy. But Lucas likes it because he realises Nancy isn’t an adult who’s gonna yell at him about proper driving (especially because she is a fucking awful driver herself).
This is less related to Lucas, but I think Erica probably has a few of Nancy’s hand-me-downs. I think they have too much of an age gap to have ever really been fully friends, but I think they have exchanged unspoken eye rolls whenever their brothers are acting stupid.
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with ahsoka coming out next week, i want to toot my own horn and say: hey guys, i wrote some pretty good rebels fic back in the day and i think y'all should go back and read them and share your thoughts about them 😘
here's some of my favourite fic that i wrote that i'm very proud of and want you guys to enjoy (again or for the first time). they aren't in any order here but if you ask i will tell you which is my favourite
• through all the years
rating: teen
relationship: kanan/hera
season: pre show through s3
A decade is a long time to know someone. By the end of it, it would be easy to assume these two have been perfectly in sync with each other, never missing a beat. But that's not how relationships work. Kanan and Hera worked at theirs, bumps and stops and leaps forward all included. Though all the years it took to get to now, they worked and loved and hoped for even more years to come.
• the old days
rating: gen
relationship: ahsoka and kanan
season: pre show and s2
After fighting the Inquisitors on Takobo, Ahsoka takes Kanan to assess where he's at with his lightsaber skills. But a flood of memories from a forgotten life hang over Kanan and distracting him from their training.
• for years
rating: gen
relationship: ezra and kanan
season: s1-4
They had only been given four years together. But, without knowing it, they had filled those four years, only four, with lessons, memories, trials and errors, success and growth, and love that could last past a life time. And even when it ends, they find a way. It was only four years but it had made both their lives worth living.
• understanding
rating: gen
relationship: ezra and sabine
season: s3
A few days after returning from Tatooine, Ezra finds himself a little off balance. Avoiding all the chaos around the base as the rebels prepare for their attack to free Lothal finally, Ezra goes and seeks a little comfort from Sabine.
• how rare and beautiful it truly is that we exist
rating: teen/mature
relationship: kanan/hera
season: s4 to post show
What do you do when your life completely changes? How do you decide what to do next? And what if it happens again? Hera used to keep up with the galaxy spinning around her, all her plans laid out in the fashion she needed them to be. But after Kanan returns from Mandalore, there's a shift she couldn't have predicted. How do you keep up with changes that come faster with every breath taken?
• a home we chose
rating: gen
relationship: ezra and kanan
season: post show
A decade after liberating Lothal, Ezra comes and goes from his home world. There's a whole galaxy out there to learn from, to protect, to live in. But he always returns home, how could he not after everything he did to save it. This time, his return home offers a revelation about who was from here and just what that meant.
• how long will i love
rating: explicit
relationship: kanan/hera
season: s4
Everything changed after Kanan came back from Mandalore. And it kept changing.
#star wars rebels#ezra bridger#kanan jarrus#hera syndulla#sabine wren#ahsoka tano#kanera#star wars fic#star wars writing#fic rec list#like please leave comments it would be very nice#i love hearing people’s thought about my fic even now years later ❤️
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Okay, time for S4 Rayllum thoughts. And I’ll be honest, I’m gonna be a bit salty. So if you don’t like that, maybe sit this one out.
Just so we’re clear, I enjoyed S4. But there was one element that fell flat for me. And unfortunately, that was how Rayllum was handled.
I know a lot of fans really were happy to see Rayla back and interacting with the gang. They liked seeing the awkwardness between her and Callum, her efforts to get him to talk, his acceptance of her going after Viren in the end, and their final hug.
But here’s the thing that irked me - particularly regarding their initial reunion.
Rayla never apologized to Callum.
Sure, she said she’s happy to see him, and he looks good, and that she wants to talk. And when he’s sleeping, she talks about how she was so blinded by revenge that she missed out on the most important thing in her life.
But she never actually says the words, “I’m sorry.”
And that pissed me off.
At first I thought they were going to make it an intentional thing, like maybe it’s a Moonshadow elf thing to never show weakness.
But nope, she apologizes to Ezran a scene later.
Like girl, he’s not the one you need to apologize to!
I REALLY felt like they would have to sit down and talk and address it all, but they never did. We just got this awkward “Oh I’m mad at you but not actually that mad” from Callum, and “I’m just going to pretend I didn’t completely break your heart and push you into talking about it, even though I’m the one that’s got explaining to do” from Rayla.
And Callum didn’t even get that mad? Like I thought he would yell at her and cry and get mad, but he was just kinda cold. And not even that much.
I have to think that we’re going to get some sort of big feelings talk in S5, and I REALLY hope either she apologizes or he mentions the fact that she hadn’t. Because that needs to be addressed. She hurt him so much, and she’s being a little too cavalier about that. Like, she understands she messed up, but I don’t think she gets how fucked up what she did was.
And I really don’t like the take that’s been going around about how “Callum knows loving Rayla will hurt, but he’s going to love her anyway.” No. Stop. Love shouldn’t hurt this bad. Sure, you’ll have your issues you need to work through and hard times will happen. But Rayla needs to understand that her self-sacrificing tendencies DO hurt Callum. And it’s not good to be in a relationship where you’re constantly hurting another person through your actions. How is that fair to Callum?
My husband and I actually booed when Callum accepted Rayla going after Viren. He’s not the one who needs to learn a lesson here, and I don’t like how this season framed that. As though he’s the one who needs to work on forgiveness. Hard to do that when Rayla hasn’t even fucking apologized.
Phew. Ok, I’m done.
Like I said, I enjoyed so many things about this season. Rayllum was not one of those things.
I hope this is going somewhere or that they salvage this in S5.
And maybe I’ll work on a fix-it fic in the meantime.
#good thing Huntlow is my new comfort ship#cause Rayllum ain’t it right now#tdp s4 spoilers#rayllum#tdp critical#the dragon prince#the dragon prince spoilers#rayllum critical#I’m a bit salty
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Hey! In retrospect, this might be kinda obvious to some, but I was just thinking about the scene early in Season 4 where Callum recalls the fact that he's destroyed multiple powerful magic objects/artifacts and I realized that that scene was probably meant to highlight/make it hit harder later in the season when Callum can't do the same thing to the cube and I got excited lmao
So I have a lot of thoughts and feelings about what gets lamp shaded / referred back to specifically in S4 and possibly why, re: exactly what you pointed out, dear nonnie, in 4x02 (which made me Yell the first time around because I loved it as a lamp shade), as well as Rayllum's scene on the Pinnacle in 4x05. So why not talk about about them? If you are curious about more on Callum's "breaking magical objects" pattern I'd recommend this meta as well as this one, although there shouldn't be too much repetition here
Let's go
4x02 - Accidentally on Purpose
Including this shot because it has the Ocean-Star rune combination for the cube, my beloved.
The primal stone, Ethari -> Rayla -> Callum's pendant, and the Moon Henge all shudder. The mirror, too, will shortly be broken, although by Aaravos' own hand rather than Callum's (at least, not directly). This line and pattern also underscores one of Callum's key flaws, as his impulsive flippancy ("'It's the winter lodge, Rayla, no winter no humans' ugh" / "He tried to copy Claudia's lightning spell, but he doesn't know how to finish it!") when it comes to magic is ultimately related to how Selfish he can be. He, like many characters in TDP, can tunnel vision so hard he doesn't see or fully consider the possible consequences of his actions, but I do think Callum has a thread of like internalized focus that makes it stem from selfishness (more akin to perhaps Claudia and Viren) than it does shortsightedness/shame (Rayla) or inadvertent steamrolling (Claudia, Ezran).
For Callum, just knowing magic isn't enough. He's always focused on how he can use it.
"I just don't want to be useless," he said (S2 novelization, set during he and Rayla's late night talk about "I have to be a mage again").
He'd always known that cube was important. Maybe now Rayla would start listening to him... and maybe now he would find out how he could use the mysterious cube. [...] But Callum was awake obsessing over the Key of Aaravos. What could he achieve with it?
Now, does Callum ever mean to be selfish? No, of course not. He doesn't mean to put Rayla and Zym in danger with his pursuit of magic (or his lie to Amaya), but that's what happens anyway. 2x04 has always stood out to me as a particularly interesting episode, precisely because it shows this flaw on full display in ways that S1 could've neatly resolved. In 1x04, Callum pursues magic ultimately to the group's detriment (just how much, depending on what the cube does, remains to be seen). Then in 1x09, through smashing the primal stone (which we'll talk about more in a minute) he puts the group above his pursuit of magic. It's a nice little full circle, and it could've easily been the resolution of this behavioural pattern. But it isn't, so I'm curious to see if/how it'll come back in future seasons (maybe S5) in some capacity.
To me, this is one of the things that make TDP's characterization so realistic. Callum can learn one lesson partially in 1x04 (don't take unnecessary risks) and apply that portion fully in 1x07 (regarding elves and humans), be willing to sacrifice a more tangible pursuit of magic for Zym ("But without this, I'm nothing") in 1x09, but still not fully learn his "Look before you leap when it comes to magic" lesson by the time we roll around in 2x04 or even 2x07 (although the context for the latter is vastly different). Just like how if saving Zym or being a good enough protector could solve Rayla's self worth issues, she would've been totally fine after 1x09, but we see her have the exact same kind of breakdown two seasons later ("This is all my fault. I dropped it. I let you both down. I let the world down" / "It's me, and it's all my fault. I failed them! I let them all down") because well - issues and emotional wounds are not so easily solved.
Anyway, back on topic: what does any of this have to do with S4's lamp shading of Callum's tendency of breaking magical objects?
Well, I think you're right: the Key is seemingly rare, powerful, and possibly sought after by Aaravos. At the very least it's connected to him, and Callum is now terrified of him. But he won't relinquish/destroy it at this present time, so there's a nice contrast there. The cube has a pull over him for whatever reason, whether that's curiosity, it being Harrow's last parting gift to him, or even possibly the fact it was the first thing he and Rayla really bonded over ("Hey sad prince. Let's go get your cube") and his own potential as a mage. He does, after all, look at the moon rune specifically after lowering it.
But I also think it's indicative that the object and conversation Callum is most directly referencing is this one with Claudia in 2x02 about breaking their joint primal stone:
Which was pretty noble, and inspired a very strong character arc for Callum, full of struggle and interesting character aspects. Breaking the primal stone wasn't the ideal situation for him by any means, but it was undeniably the Right Thing To Do. On the surface, there's nothing to be worried about... except:
I have not seen the stars in centuries. But when I see them again—when the stars are forced to look upon me, their dark brother—they will know how I have waited. And when everything they have built lies shattered, I will savor their fall from the sky. (Patience, TDP reflections)
The Whole World is like a Giant Primal Stone. When backed into a corner and able to save someone he loves and/or cares about, Callum is willing to sacrifice his own source of power. He's willing to bend his morals and do dark magic. He's willing to jump off a cliff with just the faintest hope he can grow wings and save them both. We also know that Callum, either within a possessed state or outside of it, has to play into Aaravos' hands, otherwise it is unlikely the Startouch elf would be released (and he has to be released).
Which, all of this also works fairly well in tandem with
4x05 - You saved me
So Rayllum's scene on the Pinnacle is one of my favourite scenes between them in the season, as well as one of the most interesting. After all, the Pinnacle is the place for quite a few important Rayla and Callum moments in season three: Rayla finding out the truth about her mum and dad, thanks to Callum; Callum trying to tell her that he loves her for the first time (which Soren's interruption also lampshades); and of course when Callum jumps off the Pinnacle to save her. And while Soren's dialogue is a more comedic callback to the second one, Rayla's dialogue calls to mind the latter:
(Callum's face only falls in the second screencap when she gets to "certain death," by the way.)
It's not entirely clear why Callum starts crying when he looks away, as he has a lot of reasons to (the fear of what Aaravos may make him do, thus turning him into something that hurts people rather than saves them; the fact that he's had only like, 1.5 days to process the return of the love of his life and all those complicated feelings) but he does start crying. Rayla then does her best to help, but doesn't get a chance to, and it's not clear if Callum would've let her, either.
But I thought the emphasis on "saving" was interesting, to say the least. Why not be more explicit about the way this was the first time they said "I love you"? Some note of "so much has changed, but not everything's changed" from Rayla, if they wanted a nudge of some sort. Or it could've been something about Rayla's parents, grateful that she was able to forgive them and realize the truth, that'd they'd left for "a good cause".
Well, I think the most straight forward thing is first, that Callum and Rayla are a couple who has always been very defined by reciprocally saving each other; Callum defends them from the smoke wolves, Rayla defends them from Runaan, etc. Rayla saves everyone (Bait, Ezran, Zym, the downed dragon), and Callum saves her (1x05, 2x04, 2x07, 3x09). The second is that S5, if it brings back Callum's possession plot line (and it likely will, with the emphasis on darkness and drowning from some of the TDP shorts for the season: "Soren gasped the darkness like water into his lungs. He could not breathe. He was drowning") Rayla is probably going to the one to ultimately save him from it, somewhat due to the light and dark symbolism as well (Rayla showing up haloed in moonlight with the cube on her shoulder).
An emphasis on how Arc 1 culminated in a big show of love as Callum saved Rayla, if Rayla is going to be the one to successfully save Callum from brainwashing next season (and restore to her that "We can't save everyone" isn't true after all) makes a lot of sense, especially with it foreshadowed / spelled out more directly in this quote from the Book One Moon novelization:
“Wow. So they look identical, but they might kill you or they might save you,” Callum said.
“Exactly. Just like me…” Rayla smiled.
She's certainly not going to kill him and thus, Rayla has to save him. There we get that mutual reciprocation, especially when she left in TTM to try and save/spare him - it'd be a good way for her to realize that the best way to save/protect him is to stay, right here, with him instead. She'll risk the world ("You let him live but you killed us all" "You have two choices: you all die, or just the evil wretched human dies"), and it'll be worth it.
However, as I've already said, Callum has to play into Aaravos' hands in order for the Startouch elf to get out. And Aaravos is clearly pretty confident it'll happen, whether precisely because Callum is worried because of the possession (a more likely manipulation tactic) or due to the possession itself (less likely, as why reveal your checkmate move ahead of time?).
Rayla realizing she can save Callum is also, indeed, only one piece of the puzzle. She also has to realize that she deserves to be saved, which 4x05 seems like a step in the right direction of (she's happy and lovey about it, not guilty) even if her self worth issues are still very prevalent: "This is all my fault. I left [Soren] alone. I shouldn't have—" as well as trying repeatedly to go off on her own.
So 4x05 emphasizing the last time Callum saved her, setting up that he'll also save her again (and possibly risk the primal stone world again, helping to free Aaravos in exchange for also freeing Rayla) in S5?
He'll risk the world, and it'll be worth it.
#tdp callum#rayllum#requests#thanks for asking#analysis series#anonymous#mutual salvation theory#s4#s4 is my best friend#parallels#cube hostage exchange theory#ppl also sometimes act like selfishness is the worst character flaw ever and it's like nah honey#but it's one of the Most Interesting for sure#arc 2#4x02#4x05#analysis#snake boi callum#characterization#so many tags jc
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I just need to be direct about some things for Ladybugs side of Ladynoir in s5 now for a sec.
It's just.. somebody please tell me how I am supposed to believe that Marinette actually learned something from the season 4 Ladynoir conflict or won't continue to just fall further back on her words when Revelation showed that Ladybug will lie and use Chat Noir as bait and a tool again to continue her s4 treatment of him and how he was nothing but the scapegoat/pet/punching bag for her and Alya for the entire season? Something she already in s4 barely felt appropriately bad about until the end of Strike Back had her pull a 180
Marinette literally proofed in Revelation that she has in fact either not learning anything or doesn't think Chat Noir deserves a better treatment, season 5 just didn't give her the chance to pull this more often because there were no other heros. What am I supposed to expect from her in season 6 now taht the entire team is back?
How am I supposed to think that Ladybug is capable of having a partnership with Chat Noir were both of them are allowed to make mistakes without getting punished for it when Derision is literally the episode about how her being bullied and publicly humiliated is the core of her trauma and yet the same episode has her go back and put Chat Noir at the risk of the very same thing by her own hands again because of the lucky charm plan, and as per usual HE apologizes for having been emotional and yet she never takes accountability for how she then proceeded to use him?
So people in season 4 were right? Ladybug is not capable of behaving normal in this partnership, the moment Chat Noir makes a mistakes or has a bad day or is affected by a power she will continue using him then however she pleases. Is she just not capable of coming up with other plans? Can Chat Noir really not exist in this partnership without being at the constant risk of being turned into a tool and scapegoat while being humiliated in their dynamic the moment he does something wrong? Is the only way of preventing that Chat himself not making mistakes again because Ladybug can't be asked to not do this shit to her partner?
Or can Adrien for once NOT be the only one to apologize in situations like that? I wouldn't be as harsh on what she did in Derision if Psycomedian in season 4 didn't exist where it was already established that Ladybug takes it for granted what Chat Noir puts up with for and from her and that got maxed out for all of season 4. And yet in season 5 Derision we are somehow not one step further? Can she not just say "Hey, about the toilet thing. Sorry that I went after you there, it was my first instinct because the power was to act out the meanest humor. Sorry for having used you like that again though, I will try to do better"
In the context of what Marinette's traumatic backstory is that plan of hers showed 0 self-reflection and once again puts all pressure on Chat Noir to not make a mistake around her or else she will apparently go back to her old ways without feeling bad about it. If Ladybug never clarifies anything then the episode just had her indirectly tell him that this is still what he has to expect from her when he has a bad day or whatever. Just like with Ladybugs violence in s4 she was never asked to take an ounch of accountability for and teached children bad lessons on how to treat friends several times because she's a girl and can get away with it, Derision has her indirectly reinforce that Chat's responsible for her treatment of him. He needs to do better to prevent her from pulling stuff like that because she's "justified" in whatever she does to him anyway as s4 teached us.
Or the fact in Migration neither Marinette nor Adrien know for sure if their partner knows that Luka knew their identity and Monarch picked up on that, and yet only for Adrien one can make a legit argument for why he didn't bring it up and that's the fact that Ladybug and Luka left him for so long all alone in the akuma battle that he would rightfully assume that this is were Ladybug and Luka talked about everything. Marinette on the other hand has no excuse for why she is keeping the fact that Monarch knows that Luka is aware of both their identities a secret from Chat Noir. It's yet another impossibly irresponsible secret directly concerning Chat's life and possibly the safety of all his civilian loved ones she just keeps from him and can't be criticized for because it's Marinette.
So she learned nothing from season 4 and stuff like Ephemeral?
Or even just little moments like Marinette proudly confirming to Alya behind Chat's back that she had him wear the insult paper in his bell for an entire season and them laughing, when it should be a no brainer that Chat didn't agree to wear it so she can tell it others behind his back for him to be laughed at. He trusted her that nothing bad would come out of it and yet that's what she did the moment Alya was there. That is such an awful thing to do. You don't do that to friends. Thats what I expect from Chloé, not Ladybug in Ladynoir.
Or in Réunion when Jeanne was talking down on Chat Noir because she is projecting her own Black Cat issues on Chat by insulting a 14 year old boy for not looking like a full grown man and Marinette.. agrees. One episode prior Marinette was gushing towards Alya about Chat's looks, muscles and whatever but the moment Marinette is insecure in front of an adult Ladybug who isn't all nice to her she directly agrees with insults unfairly directed at Chat Noir through backhanded compliments about "but he's very loyal" because at least it isn't her? And right in front of Chat too?
What's even worse is that Adrien couldn't see or hear Jeanne so from his perspective he literally just witnessed Ladybug agreeing with an insult about him spoken by a past Ladybug while he can't at all defend himself. Chat has no way to tell if the past Ladybug isn't constantly insulting him because apparently his Ladybug won't even disagree or sees any problem with that, and neither does he know if that already went on prior to meeting him.
It's moments like that for which I'm genuinely glad that he rejected her next episode in Elation. Why would he want to still date Ladybug when shes agreeing with insults being directed at him? Adrien was noticeably more insecure from then on in Réunion because he just doesn't know how hard he's being trash-talked and Ladybug just agreed :/
And then of course there is Kwamis choice right after Elation which.. dude, from Adrien's perspective he rejected Ladybug ONCE and then she fucking LEFT. Instantly. Adrien learned that episode that Ladybug herself is apparently a hypocrite and can't take a no either. Their entire partnership dynamic demands of him to be her yes-man and never ask for anything, never saying "no" and if he does than she stands under no obligation to respect it like when she still just uses her guardian privileges to overwrite him having renounced his Miraculous.
And then she for the first time actually had to respect Chat telling her "No" about something and she left. The ending of Hack-San is meaningless now because of Kwamis choice!
Season 5? What am I supposed to do with stuff like that for Ladynoir? Did Marinette learn something in the Ladynoir conflict of season 4 or only partly and I have to expect her regressing again and going back on her words because she was never properly called out on anything? If calling her out is the only way Marinette can learn then why is no one asking BETTER of her in important stuff like this regarding Ladynoir?
Did Marinette learn something or nah? Or will you at least have Alya want better for Chat Noir when Marinette herself already can't do it?
#ml season 5#ml season 4#ml ladynoir critical#ml rant#this isnt salt I'm listing stuff she did#im just frustrated at stuff like this#ml spoilers#miraculous#ml
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Curious about 'Should've learned to play them drums'.
Thanks for the ask! That one is actually one of my oldest WIPs - I started it while I was still writing 'Bad Luck.' It was originally meant to be a sequel to that fic, but then S4 happened and obliterated my plans, lol.
'Play Them Drums' was supposed to be my Johnny and Anthony bonding fic. It was inspired by that flashback in S1, when Sid is complaining to Laura about all of little Johnny's abandoned interests. He mentions a drum kit, and I'm a sucker for musician Johnny, so my brain ran with it.
The fic is set about a year or so after Johnny and Daniel started dating. Most everyone is supportive, except Anthony, who is rebelling. Both against Johnny and Daniel's relationship, and against the family karate legacy. Daniel is trying to be patient and supportive of his son's other interests, but is still kind of heartbroken that Anthony doesn't want to learn karate from him.
One day, Johnny stops by the house to drop off something with Amanda. She invites him to stay for lunch, but they keep getting interrupted by an unholy racket coming from upstairs. She explains that Anthony suddenly took an interest in music, and has decided he wants to be a drummer.
And Daniel (who doesn't have to live with the noise) actually bought him a drum kit.
Needless to say, she's not happy about it. Johnny tries to assure her it's probably just a phase - and gets deja vu when he recalls his mother telling Sid the exact same thing about him.
When Amanda has to go outside to take a call because of the noise, Johnny goes upstairs to tell Anthony to knock it off. They start bickering as usual, but Johnny soon realizes that the kid isn't just doing it to piss off his parents (though that's part of it.) He actually does want to learn how to play. The problem is, he's trying to teach himself from youtube tutorials, with little success.
Johnny realizes this might be his chance to improve his relationship with the kid, and offers to help. He's rusty, but he still remembers a little, and ends up showing Anthony the basics. Anthony is reluctantly impressed, and at the end of their impromptu lesson, he asks Johnny to teach him.
Johnny agrees, but with a few caveats. He'll teach him to play drums, but only if Anthony joins Miyagi Do and lets his dad teach him, too. And he can't let on that he's being put up to it - Anthony has to actually act excited about karate.
Most importantly, he can't tell Daniel about their little deal.
I still kind of love the idea of this fic, but I don't know if I'll ever get back to it. Which kinda bums me out, because it was such a cute idea.
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MAG 91 - baking apple pie
After being all brave and sassy with Jude Jon definitely has learned a lesson or two about meeting up with avatars, although this one seems a lot nicer. Offering him a cup of tea instead laughing at him and threatening him.
JON "I… Where did you get that scar?" [LONG SIGH AS THE SOUND OF RUSHING AIR RISES] MIKE "And I was trying so hard to be polite." - Well, that lesson wasn't enough though…
MIKE "The air… it doesn’t… leave your lungs like you expect it to." - I hate falling, so I never did anything like bungee or something like that… But sometimes when it's super stormy outside it feels like the storm blows the air you want to breath out of your mouth. Terrible feeling.
"Not unless that’s what happened to your hand, but I’m guessing that burn came from sticking it somewhere it wasn’t wanted. And you still didn’t learn." - Yeah, even Crew knows it..
"The part that always bothered me was how I didn’t remember it. Not really." - Ohhh, does the "not really" flood already slowly start here? I know in S4 there's sooo many of them, and we heard it in S1 and 2 also a couple of times.
"Did you know that Lichtenberg figures are fractals?" / "The thing that chased me, you see, it was an arcing branch of the Twisting Deceit, taken shape to follow me. But the shape it had taken more rightly belonged to the sky. To those same vast unknowable heights that blessed book wanted to take me." - Another one of those edges, a phenomenon of the sky bleeds into It Is Not What It Is.
Daisy is so brutal… Kicking Crew a few additional times just to be sure… And we see some of her apologist nature. Tricking herself into only hunting monsters.
JON "So… so what now? You kill us? …" DAISY "You think he’s going to save you?" JON "What? What, no –" [GUNSHOT] [JON CRIES OUT] - again, Daisy. Is. So. Brutal. She just shot a dude right in front of Jon. Because it's fun to see his fear…
DAISY "One packet cigarettes, Silk Cut. One lighter, gold, spiderweb design. Hm." - Oh hi there you sneaky little thing! Also Jon totally smoking again…
God, hearing Jon gurgling and whimpering is so hard to listen to.
DAISY "You been following me, Basira?" - Basira is Daisy's soft spot… How her voice wavers here.
DAISY "You don’t know what he is. You don’t know what it’s like to have your secrets pulled out like teeth, just because he asked?" - On my first listen I didn't understand what all this "stop asking question" and then they just answer them as all about. This is when it finally clicked.
JON "I thi- I thi- I think it was Elias." DAISY "Yeah. Well he’s on my list too." - Lol, that tone in Daisy's voice.
JON "What about Mike?" DAISY "Who? Oh. Grab a spade." - Can you imagine, fours days ago Jon got his palm completely burned and now this murder cop tells him to dig a hole to bury the person she just shot in front of him or she'll shoot him too if she's merciful or cut his throat if she's not.
Godd poor guy
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I really am not sure if the Duffers are planning on making Byler canon right now. I've seen their Master Class lessons and they explicitly state that Mike's arc is about 'falling in love with El and concluding his arc'. Makes me think they really use Mike as a 'nerd fantasy self-insert' character, after all: The nerdy guy finds this special girl with superpowers and ends up with her aka the old 'sexy born yesterday' trope. I would like to think that's not the case and they'll conclude this Mike/El/Will dynamic in a better way but seeing their Master Class... I really do think Mike's character is just about that self-insert trope after all and the Duffers play into it.
Now it changes my perspective quite a bit because not only do we have a self-insert trope but they've also been planning Will to be gay and in love with Mike since S1... which plays right into the ''sad gay guy in love with his straight best friend'' trope. I used to like ST for not falling into tropes like this and hoped that they would actually do something better with them, but maybe we're just giving the Duffers too much credit after all.
I guess you can tag this as ''byler doubt'' but I really would want to hear your opinion on this.
NGL, I don't really pay attention to outside material, lmao. I don't care about what the Duffers say. I care about their show, like, what's actually in it. Since just because the Duffers are saying one thing doesn't mean that's what they're straightforwardly showing in the material. And if they think that to be the case, then they really are fools and don't know what they're writing at all :p it's still a point toward my favor since it just means I understand their narratives better than they do.
Most of my analysis is based on what the series' text has given us. And what it has given us is that Mike and El are at conflicting points in their narratives. Mike is at "superhero El" while El's S4 narrative is explicitly about not being that. And in S4, El did not say "I love you" back. Mike tells her ILY like nine times and neither she nor the show acknowledges that she was actually happy about it. Does she ever smile after hearing him say this? Does she even win against Henry? The burning Hawkins says no.
So, let's say that MiIeven is indeed the endgame ship with everything else still true. What could Mike do to get El to say she loves him back? Or what could El do to believe his ILY? El's narrative would have to disregard everything she has ever worked for learning about herself -- that she is a friend, she is a daughter, she is a sister, she is loved for something that isn't reliant on what she can do for others -- if the show is content with her staying with Mike "I'm in love with my superhero girlfriend who can fly and move mountains" Wheeler. The show would have to rescind basically everything they built her narrative to be.
If Mike has to prove himself again in S5 to earn El's ILY, he has to prove to El that he doesn't just see her as a superhero. Big ask considering that's what his entire arc in S4 was about. Big ask considering the final season is El needing -- not wanting -- to save the world again. The narrative has virtually prevented Mike from seeing her as anything but a superhero.
So now it's back to El again. So should we expect S5 El to learn that actually, being a superhero is great! Being taken away from her mom, being abused and experimented on in a lab for years so she could fight the commies and supernatural baddies that the lab itself actually inadvertently created was GOOD actually! because it means she became a superhero? just for Mike?
Like, at this point in the story, it's actually HARDER to commit to MiIeven as a natural conclusion of both their arcs than it is to make Byler endgame. El's narrative doesn't have to change if Byler is endgame. The audience knows Will is in love with Mike; the audience knows Mike loves Will (whether as a best friend or something else entirely). The only thing the show needs to do is to get Mike to understand his love has a romantic component. Like he doesn't have to change the way he perceives Will as a person at all the way he does for El, and Will literally has to do nothing. He's said his piece.
Sorry this has become So Long lmao. It was actually something I wanted to write about somewhat so thank you for the opportunity! and the ask ^o^
#ku answers#strangely blogging#byler#anti miIeven#byler doubt for the ask#not for me though#let me be the pillar of confidence for you because honestly i'm more afraid of being right than being wrong lmao#elmike#i always forget this platonic ship name i'm sorry
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A messy tirade about that meeting in episode 4 of wakfu s4, Spoiler alert.
My buddy was right, but where the eyes in the sky aren't that shabby looking, the people would at best see those things as some kind of sky attraction and be okay with that - damn, if you're going to do your charitable business, and with the vast majority of the people probably disapproving of it, you're going to have to at least hide those lurid eyes a little bit better first, to first Earn a good reputation among the civilians, do it quietly, without moving, make a track record, and at least negotiate at the meetings with somewhat more substance. For the leaders of the World of Twelve are probably best at what they do with their mouths.
But it's true, under their leadership, the people do get by reasonably ok, except that it's just the occasional volcanic eruption, the occasional looting by some unattended bandits, the occasional rising of a little flood, the occasional submerging of a few villages, and the occasional sight of a frozen climate problem in one of the neighbouring countries. These guys blame each other when things go wrong, but don't get me wrong, they're pretty united, and we're all family when it comes to war of words.
The probability is that the direction of the plot after that could be one of the following four:
the people of the World of Twelve of show the Goddess that they can handle the zombie crisis, and the Goddess learns a lesson.
the people of the World of Twelve are unable to handle the zombie crisis on their own, and Eliatropes becomes the hero.
the leaders blame the goddess for the zombie attacks and decide to sacrifice the goddess to Toross in exchange for world peace.
the leaders chose to take a step back and work with the goddess to deal with the zombie problem first, but that doesn't mean they are partners.
Anyway, what that argument showed was that neither side is very good in the head, and I couldn't like anyone.
It was probably a meeting between the supreme leader of the world and the holiest goddess in the universe.
Oh wait, in conjunction with one of Tot's tweets, I can see why those eyes were designed to be so scary - to suggest an uncomfortable stare from a mother with an overprotective streak?
……Never mind, eyes and all.
If you don't agree with what I'm saying, you can simply dismiss these as the whining of fools and just have fun looking at them.
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