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thatdeadaquarius · 4 months

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Harry Potter/Genshin Impact Crossover Fun🎉

for @kiraisastay my beta reader for the big fat Eldritch AU awhile back! :)

“…a genshin/Harry Potter crossover where reader (still fem) comes from genshin (so she has a vision) and tries to fit in at Hogwarts (would love for it to be set around the Goblet Of Fire so the hp characters in that age start maturing and actually understand what happens around them and aren't little kids , plus, y'know, YULE BALL), would also like for the reader to have a more stoic/emotionless personality with tragic past (so like having scars y'knowww) cuz it makes character building a lot more juicy ahah, but you can write it however you want tho!! (this can be funnier to write if you're feeling a lot creative)”

UGH sorry i took forever! im rlly bad at estimating time...

I hope this is a fun read at least, and thanks for much for taking on that eldritch monster fic awhile back lol

☆

Orbit: Long Headcanon/fic-thing (~2k words) - Harry Potter x Genshin Impact Crossover (4th Year)

Sun: Feminine Reader (she/her), Slytherin Reader, Reader is 15-16 year old.

Stars: Harry, Ron, Hermione, McGonagall, Dumbledore, Snape, Viktor Krum, mentions of others.

Comets & Meteors: Content Warnings: Reader has rough past, & Trigger Warnings: vague mentions of scars, Reader has bad relationship with parents.

☆

You’re so fucking happy your Cryo Vision came with you.

You knew you were in a different country, one you definitely had never been to before, but you couldn’t figure out for the life of you where it was at first

Your first guess was Fontaine, but the robes and strange overuse of catalyst weapons (actually, only catalyst weapons??) began to convince you otherwise real quick,

Fontaine was just the closest country you could compare it to

yeah so obviously by the time u realized you shouldn't be waving a sword around, it was too late lmao, u scared the shit out of the potions shopkeeper and had to make a hasty exit

bc for some reason any other weapon than a catalyst is shamed here?? which makes no sense to you, as it seems like their “magic” here could just as easily be channeled into different weapons/items??

u guess not having monsters to randomly fight everytime u just wanna take a walk outside makes for a pretty peaceful world, and specifically this country ”England” or the “United Kingdom”

u had taken a week or so to re-orient yourself to this new world, how only a certain society knew about their magic, how there were no gods here, at least not any u could easily interact with, and that most people your age would be in school still???

while u could choose to pursue higher education or specialize in Sumeru’s Akademiya, basic schooling was still provided in every country in Teyvat up until about 15 years old

but at this point u were willing to do what it took to blend into this world, and u didnt want anyone to be asking how old u were/why u werent in school when you wandered around, so u went to Hogwarts

It also proved to be a good way to acquaint urself with the world/its magic and give u a place to better excuse any social or magical mistakes

But needless to say, u struggled, u had to constantly find some workaround for “magic” from the wands/catalysts in classes

and luckily they took u being a transfer student pretty smoothly, as u were just in time for the “Triwizard Tournament” to be announced and other schools were coming to participate, u easily got accepted in

and the only one who batted an eye at it was the weird old Headmaster, who u already suspected knew more abt u than he was letting on (Dumbledore seemed to have eyes everywhere the more u learned, which made u more suspicious of him too)

you'd been sorted into Slytherin, along with the Russian magical students, (Durmstrang?)

of which you had absolutely no frame of reference for how bad that was, other than being accused of literally being from the Abyss 💀

while the rest of the student body treated u with the basic contempt u learned all Slytherins just seemed to kind of get all the time, ur own house was a little more confusing when it came to you

some were curious abt all the scars, the strange glowing snowflake gem that u concealed on ur hip, what ur country was like and what the magic school over there was like (thank fuck for ur poker face and insane lying skills that made it believable)

(there was absolutely a rumor abt u pulling a sword on Filch at some point, u neither denied nor supported it)

the other half of the slytherins were all uptight about u possibly being a “Muggleborn” and sneered at u every chance they got (some weird blond kid a year or 2 below you??)

or they outright ignored u

tbh u didn't really get much genuine favor between Slytherins just being Slytherins and ur own reputation/cold disposition until Professor Snape saw how good u were at potions a month into this insanity

(it was just basic alchemy? nearly everyone, especially Vision-users, knew how to do it back home? why was it so special here?? u had this kind of question a lot in this world over most things, like the “muggles dont know abt magic” thing, it seem like more trouble than its worth.)

U both got along in the same way a cold-demeanor father bonds with his carbon copy cold-demeanor daughter lol

in which he invited u for tea sometimes out of polite extra teaching for “ur future plans of being a potion master, like myself”

which okay?? u were better than most ur age at potions bc of alchemy (which u learned is taught at higher levels of potion mastery) and its not like you've figured out how to get back to ur world anytime soon

so u just roll with that being ur “future career” for now, it makes the old emo professor happy so u figure why not

And its the first scrap of favor you’ve found here so it works

Tho u did complain at Snape for picking on Gryffindors, saying “ur rlly not helping that Slytherin reputation for tall dark and evil here”

He proceeded to make u clean and reorganize his potion stores for that lol

(Tho he did start to lighten up the more u picked on him abt it, the poor kid with huge round glasses followed you with his huge green eyes for weeks, he seems to be the only one who's really realized ur the one convincing Snape to mellow out)

U begin researching information (thanks to Snape) in the forbidden part of the library abt different worlds/time travel, anything thatd put u close to possibly getting back home

Or, to be honest, a portal would be better, bc youd like to come back here sometimes,

Its not like u have family back home (not any who you'd want to visit), mostly just a few good friends who'd be worried abt u (Childe misses his sparring partner for sure)

Which then leads u to noticing that boy with the black hair and big round glasses (was it smth like,,, harold sculptor? Atp that seems like a feasible name to you bc in this world parents rlly were cruel abt naming their kid “feathery” or smth wild)

Harold and two others, one with fluffy long hair, and the other a redhead,

Were attempting to “spy” on u from behind bookshelves or at tables seated near the forbidden section

U saw them learn the times u came there and how they made sure to match them (tho it seems the redhead got bored easily and begged to eat instead)

You'd actually managed to make friends with some Durmstrang friends in the meantime too

And by that u mean Viktor Krum mostly

Ppl were constantly obsessed with him and he'd managed to escape up the astronomy tower to get some peace and quiet,

Only to run into u reading away, and he'd heard abt ur reputation, and wanted to befriend u

U two got along rlly well, lots of peaceful silences, and chill convos, esp since u guys had some stuff in common

Mostly how ur both foreign to Hogwarts/this country and adjusting still

Anyway that is to say, Viktor teased u abt the ducklings following u around everywhere thinking they were sneaky

And this was a routine u got used to, until it was time for the tournament

You hadnt bothered to put ur name in, u didnt feel like risking ur life for no reason afterall

So needless to say u were pissed when rumors went around abt u putting Harol- Harry's name in the goblet

(u finally learned his name, apparently he's famous for not dying? As a baby?? A powerful tyrant evil wizard wanted to kill him as a baby??? Just,, why)

Not only that but then he was obligated to be in the tournament???

U knew there was smth insane abt this school, bringing back this crazy tournament in the first place, somehow getting Harry's name in the goblet,

but u didn't think they were batshit crazy.

(Dumbledore is not helping his case in your eyes, esp as u suspect he’s got Snape involved in his BS too somehow…)

So needless to say you were going to fix this mess since these seasoned “wizard adults” weren't 😒

You snuck into the Great Hall using a high level alchemy invisibility amulet, and used ur Cryo vision to extinguish the Goblet of Fire 💀

It reset the game, and luckily they were able to resubmit the champions to the Triwizard Tournament and hide away the Goblet before it got tampered with again

Lol u got Harry out of it, and it wasnt until later in the library that u get cornered by the Gryffindor fourth year himself

He admits to seeing u under his invisibilty cloak that night and thanks you for getting him out of that hell, poor kid looks so grateful 😭

But regardless of that, he insists u tell him abt the ice spell u used, how u used it wandless, with no incantation, etc.

You just gave him a small smile (his big green eyes look even more shocked behind the glasses, what, was that old professor right? do u rlly not smile that much?) and tell him he owes u one

He agrees and u go on ur way to the forbidden section

(U dont explain the ice, afterall, who would believe him? You werent even that much older, and only “master wizards” could do what u did)

After that, Harry starts to follow u around a lot more,

much to the annoyance of his redhead friend (Rodrick? Rocky? smth with a R-) and the absolute admiration of the younger girl with big hair

the champions start the first trial, and u help Viktor out with a plan to defeat the dragon and get the egg in one piece (u had lots of experience with monsters after all, and Viktor and Snape, who couldn't keep his big nose out of your business, were simultaneously disturbed and yet not surprised by this information)

it works flawlessly, and that's when you notice the new DA teacher acting suspicious

as the champions gear up for the 2nd trial, u help Viktor try to figure out the egg’s secrets,

Both Harry and Hermione have taken to interrupting ur library research time (u finally learned her name, but not the redhead, he seemed a bit rude tbh so u don't care to know)

after brainstorming (well more like talking at the brick wall that was Snape) with the old potions professor over tea gossip time again, u finally figure out how to get the egg open without screaming, and tell Viktor

Who thanks u by taking u to the Yule Ball, but u only manage the first dance before u get absorbed in the food and the cool decor, and u also convince him to gossip with u in the corner too

(u do appreciate having a reason to dress up at least, as you attempt to imitate the Tsaritsa herself with this dress)

U notice further on into the night that Hermione ran out looking upset, and ur “girl’s girl” instinct kicks in, (regardless of ur neutrality for her, u lie to urself) and follow her outside to comfort her

u talk, and tho ur cold demanour did intimidate her a little, after she realized u were genuinely trying to help her, she took u up on the offer, and asked if u two could be friends since she’s “surrounded by stupid Gryffindor boys all the time”

u agreed amused, and convinced her to join Viktor and u in ur gossip session, which Harry (after humiliating himself on the dance floor), joined in later as well

(You may or may not have iced the floor secretly under the redhead’s and the equally annoying prissy Slytherin blonde’s feet, sending them sprawling on top of each other, so neither would come bother u four)

Over the next week you hear from Hermione’s researching/studying sessions with you that Ron did apologize to her, of which u advised her to get revenge on him anyway lmao

Harry at one point came groaning and complaining to you abt Cedric bothering him abt the egg problem, and u went ahead and gave it to him

Finally the next task was here, something abt rescuing smth underwater that mattered to each of the champions

u were immediately on ur guard when Dumbledore called u and 3 other seemingly random ppl to ur office (but u began to connect the dots after realizing one of them was the little sister of the Fontai- French Champion)

only to deflect the spell that would've knocked u out, and instead pretend to be knocked out

u obv kept ur Vision on u at all times, as always, and realized what was happening as the teachers levitated u all out to the lake

Snape snapped about being the one in charge of you, (and lowkey told u he knew u were awake, did he sound a little,, proud?? no, not Snape surely of all ppl)

Viktor did end up fishing you out, which he said u “looked like a very unhappy drenched old tom cat” while swimming to shore, (u awkwardly pat him on the back for thinking ur the best part of Hogwarts, and then smacked him for getting u kidnapped to go into a freezing lake)

and u also ended up helping Viktor rescue the other girl left behind, and froze some of the mermaids’ tails in the water for their trouble

Fleur was so grateful that she came to hunt you (and Viktor too at the time) for helping her and her sister that she came to thank u two again while at the library

which then led to her sometimes hanging around ur table at the library (everyone avoids it like the plague initially bc of you, but now youve got a gaggle of wizards rotating out all the time, like the younger years Harry/Hermione/Ron, Viktor, and now Fleur)

by the time the third trial rolls around, youve taken to bullying the prissy blonde brat a year below you to keep him from not only bothering Harry and Hermione, but also ur own peace and quiet

The other Slytherins are beginning to warm up to you, or at least not actively ignore you, since you’ve been hanging around Viktor Krum, along with gaining favor from Snape more obviously (he’d plopped a singular towel in ur lap after getting out of the lake, and u might as well have “Snape’s Favorite” written across ur forehead for all that means)

(also some of them may or may not find u roasting the annoying blonde bully kid amusing too)

it isn't until u see the creepy retired Aura (or whatever they call their knights) DA professor milling about the castle more, nearer the Gryffindor tower, that you begin to warn Harry to spread the word among his little lion club to not travel alone, esp in the evenings

(u don't like how his weird rolling blue eye looks thru you, it reminds u of Dumbledore)

by the time the third trial is finally announced, you have ur sights set on that weird old man, and end up following him to his classroom at one point,

in which he cracks open a rattling trunk, tosses some food in, and seems to have definitely stolen what you assume to be the Triwizard trophy

he casts a spell on it, and you put on that same invisibiltiy amulet from alchemy to better follow him, and watch him sneak into Dumbledore’s office to return the trophy

(You break the “portkey” spell you find on it)

(you also leave a note behind on the headmaster’s desk to look into a trunk in the new DA professor’s classroom storage, and to be more careful hiring the next one.)

Harry somehow gets sucked into the maze you find out, and you end up sneaking in to save him, using your sword and Cryo Vision to battle him out

(finally, Archons, you didnt realize how much you'd miss fighting monsters)

Aurors descend upon Hogwarts, only just after the trial ends, and Viktor wins (you trained him too well for him to not, and may or may not have viciously sparred with him a little too much for him to not be a little afraid of the consequences of losing after you helped him so much lol)

Just as Harry is taken in by Dumbledore for questioning of how he got trapped in the maze, he runs back to nearly squeeze the life out of you in a hug, he tells you thanks for helping him again (and forced u to promise to teach him sword fighting or “ice magic”)

Then, surprisingly, the entirety of Durmstrang (and some Slytherins??) haul you up into the air with Viktor to celebrate his victory

(You can see Snape snickering at ur misery in the air)

Viktor and Fleur stay penpals, and the “golden trio” (more like “gryffindor triplets”) sticks around your library table

and you think you could start to get used to this, and Harry, Hermione, and Snape had gotten you a Yule/winter gift

(what’s Christmas. and why is everyone obsessed with decorating trees??)

…that is until Hermione looks over your shoulder one day at your usual reading table, and points to a book you’ve chosen for research,

saying “if you need to make a portal somewhere, that’s the book you should be looking in.”

☆

i hope you liked it!! and that it wasn't too much of a clusterfuck/chaos that was barely readable 😅

again, thanks for being patient with me, and here's finally ur payment for dealing with my ass lmao

Happy late new year!!

Safe Travels Kirarisastay,

💀♒

If you wanna join a taglist, DM me what for! "Pspspsss, please tag me for [All SAGAU posts, Only SAGAU Language AUs, diff fandom, etc.]!"

(If you ever wanna drop, just DM me! "No more taglists/[specifically this AU/fandom] please!")

@karmawonders / @0rah-s / @randomnatics / @glxssynarvi / @nexylaza / @genshin-impacts-me / @wholesomey-artist / @thedevioussmirk / @the-dumber-scaramouche / @chocogi / @fallen-starr / @areaderofbooks / @devilangel657 / @esthelily / @justinsomniachild / @nanithefuck

If your tag didnt work, idk why!!

Maybe make sure your a "searchable blog", or make sure u didnt give me a side blog?

(Tumblr is against tagging/DMing side blogs, only main blogs usually can)

#genshin impact crossover #harry potter crossover #Genshin x Harry Potter crossover #Genshin x HP AU #genshin harry potter crossover #genshin isekai #genshin imagines #harry potter imagines #hp imagines #platonic #fem reader #happy late new year kiraisastay!! :)

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dduane · 1 year

Video

...This is a semifinal cut of the ad for our holiday ebook sale. I note that the timings have fallen a fraction out of perfection due to the audio track having got accidentally trimmed somehow while I was editing. (Those of you who’ve worked with Lightworks... you know its little quirks. With great [editing] power comes the great ability to make you pull your hair out in handfuls until you manage to figure out WTF you were doing wrong.)

Anyway, as usual Tumblr gets to hear about this first: it’s just the kinda-private soft launch of the holiday version of this sale. But the discount’s live. Been waiting for this? Go over to https://bit.ly/EverythingYaGot and get yourself our whole store for $44! :)

TL:dr; instructions*: Follow the link. Pick your preferred ebook format using the dropdown at the bottom of the page, and put one in the basket. Then go through checkout. You’ll see the normal $55 price until you’re at the very last step of it before paying: that’s when the store will insert the EVERY24 code that makes it happen. Then pay, and within a couple/few minutes the store will send you a shedload of download links. (Yay!) Enjoy!

...And the usual regretful reminder for UK folks: due to Brexit, we cannot include you in this sale, as we can no longer sell directly into the UK due to HMC&E’s ridiculous paperwork requirements. Our apologies. We’re still working on a workaround for you: details here.

(PS: It’s actually more like 2.25 million words, but whatever. Two million’s a nice round number.)

*This will all look so much more polished tomorrow. But right now my eyes are crossing from doing between-clips transitions all day, and all I want to do is get this thing out there and then go fall over. (And probably read some fanfic. There’s nothing like a good Sherlock-at-Christmas fanfic this time of year...) :)

#ebooks #Ebooks Direct #sale #Diane Duane #holiday sale #Young Wizards #Middle Kingdoms #short fiction #and Thoth knows what else

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caitkaminski · 8 months

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WELL s6 may be over and s7 so terrifyingly soon so don’t be a loser who has to pay for gems lol, check this guide out (reminder Bluestacks only currently works on a PC/laptop and not a Mac, sorry!! But you can also use an android device as explained in the guide)

I really recommend doing it before s7 drops if you haven’t done so yet. The mod apks on sites never actually updated during s6 and we had to figure out a workaround, which already some people are struggling with. My theory is, Fusebox are really cracking down with mod usage and somehow making it harder to mod the app and so, these sites can’t.

So, there’s really no guarantee you’ll be able to mod after season 7 drops, we can test if the workaround works but no guarantee.

Don’t panic though! If you already have the mod and transferred your save data to a normal app then it will update to s7 normally with your progress and gems still intact since it’s now an app linked to your App Store.

Any questions, feel free to shoot me a message or check the FAQs pinned on my blog xx

#litgmodfaqs #modguides #litg #love island the game #litg s6 #litg s7 #litg double trouble #litg stickortwist #love island game

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shingekinomyfeelings · 26 days

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Okay, so. This has been occupying a lot of my thoughts recently, and while it feels like it should be "cringey" or whatever to confess this on a semi-public platform, I think I should just suck it up and admit that I've been feeling really lonely and socially disconnected.

I really just do not thrive without conversations and sharing silly events as they unfold, and bouncing ideas back and forth, and having a few people to chat with throughout the day - and, more embarrassingly, feeling like there are people, even just a few, who actively want to hear from me and have me around. Yuck, right? I don't know why it feels so gross to say it outright. I've always been the first to remind people that humans are hardwired to be a social species and that social feedback is naturally what informs our behaviors and our perceptions of ourselves. I'm awful at taking my own advice, though, so I figure I'll try actually doing so.

Now, at the time, I'm a bit cut off from seriously pursuing making friends in person, for an assortment of personal reasons I won't be getting into. I'm actively working on it, but in the meantime, my social life is distressingly limited to the internet.

But you know what? I used to be great at making friends online. It doesn't seem like I still am, though.

I won't lie, testing the waters by asking if my mutuals/followers find me unapproachable and the most popular answer being that people on here really have no idea who I am and have no particular opinion about me one way or another made me a lot sadder than I thought it would. Like, damn, am I overlooked as a result of an uninteresting personality, or an off-putting aura, or simply because I've come into the habit of keeping things about my offline life vague on here?

Talking about personal, real-life matters on here feels wildly inappropriate for some reason, and I'm not sure there's a workaround for that, because it seems like just part of tumblr culture.

I'm naturally super chatty in a comfortable setting, though, especially in a small group - but I'm not as good at approaching people as I used to be, and then, to paraphrase a quote from my own fanfic like a gigantic nerd, I end up feeling like I'm not approached by other people because I'm either entirely too much to contend with, or just not enough to be someone who seems worth engaging with.

Also, let's be real, I can't help feeling that being older than most of tumblr's user base inherently sets me out on the fringes.

I had meant to keep this a bit shorter, so let me get to the point:

I really do want more friends to interact with and share things with! Actually, you know what? 'Want' isn't strong enough. I really need more social connection.

I don't know how many of you reading this are also feeling lonely and wanting/needing to expand your human interactions, or even how many people will actually read this, but I'd like to put it out there that if you want to get to know me or form a powerful secret society with me and a band of others, I'd probably be thrilled to hear from you. You're more than welcome to reach out, even if your nerves only let you do it anonymously.

I know I've admitted that I'm not the best at maintaining one on one conversation with someone I've only just begun talking to, and that still holds true, but... eh, building genuine connections does take time, and I certainly have plenty of time.

So, this is a general invitation to those who might need or want one. Let's Friendship is Magic this shit up.

#I've waffled about posting something like this for a while now #and yes it does feel cringey and I will likely be tempted to delete it in a couple of hours #but I guess also no one will know you're lonely if you keep it a secret #right #personal stuff #kind of a request I guess? is it weird to frame it that way?#I'll be happy to hear from you

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anarchistmemecollective · 4 months

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great labour history here

transcript below

I am mildly obsessed with these moments in history - specifically, sports history - when somebody looks at the way everybody is doing something and says, but, wait a second. What if I tried it this totally unexpected other way?

You know, famously, in high jump, a guy named Dick Fosbury started jumping over the bar backwards, and it was so effective that now everyone does it.

Or in baseball - at some point, a very clever player was like, what if instead of swinging at a fast-moving ball - what if I just hold the bat up to where the ball is going to be and (clicks tongue) knock it frustratingly into the infield? And the bunt is born. Love the bunt.

And look, I'm obsessed with these moments because it forces everyone to be like, wait a second. Can they do that? That can't be legal. But yeah, it is, and the game is changed forever.

NICK FOUNTAIN, HOST:

And Kenny, of course, these moments don't just happen in sporting competition. They happen in our world, too - the world of economics and business. And there is an example that has become particularly relevant right now.

MALONE: Yeah, so we're in the middle of what people have been calling hot labor summer. I guess it's turned into, I don't know, unseasonably warm labor fall or whatever.

FOUNTAIN: (Laughter).

MALONE: But yes, we are seeing this spate of labor actions across the country - strikes in Hollywood, at hospitals and schools, at car factories.

FOUNTAIN: And, you know, strikes are not so different from sports. They both have chanting and people holding up punny signs. But more importantly, they also have competing teams employing tactics and countertactics and counter-countertactics.

MALONE: In other words, labor is kind of exactly the right kind of situation for the right person to come along and jump backwards over the way things are supposed to work and change labor disputes forever.

(SOUNDBITE OF ANTOINE BRUNO FREDERIQUE BLANC, JAMES PATRICK KALETH AND MAX BRONCO'S "TAKE ME BACK AGAIN")

MALONE: Hello, and welcome to PLANET MONEY. I'm Kenny Malone.

FOUNTAIN: And I'm Nick Fountain. And if you had to pick a Fosbury flop, bunt moment in labor history, a decent candidate might be what happened 30 years ago when one airline went to war with a group of scrappy flight attendants.

MALONE: Today on the show, the story of what happened when a union figured out how to strike without really going on strike. It seemed too good to be true. There were legal challenges. There were shady flights to Guadalajara. And arguably, it's a case study that is still shaping the labor disputes we see today.

(SOUNDBITE OF ANTOINE BRUNO FREDERIQUE BLANC, JAMES PATRICK KALETH AND MAX BRONCO'S "TAKE ME BACK AGAIN")

MALONE: Before we get into our story, you have to understand this enormous threat that has been hanging over airline unions for the last 3 1/2 decades.

FOUNTAIN: Yeah, we're going to call it the TWA threat because, in 1986, the flight attendants for Trans World Airlines, also known as TWA, were in a labor dispute with their airline. And it was looking like they were going to have to strike.

MALONE: And, you know, the thing about a strike is if you generally follow all the rules and the letter of the law, the government protects that labor action. Like, you are not allowed to be fired when you're striking. That's the deal. So great - the TWA flight attendants went on strike.

FOUNTAIN: But what was so notable about what happened in 1986 is that TWA found a legal workaround - a way to effectively fire all those striking flight attendants without technically firing anyone.

MALONE: Yeah, apparently, when a flight attendant walked off the job - went on strike - it was legal for TWA to fill that newly vacated position. TWA wasn't actually firing anyone, but the flight attendant that went on strike - well, they would have to wait until another position opened up. And, of course, until that happened, that flight attendant was functionally fired. They weren't working. They weren't earning a paycheck.

FOUNTAIN: And the TWA move in 1986 was to do this on a massive scale. When the flight attendants went on strike, the company started replacing them - thousands of people. It would take years before a new TWA job would open up for most of them.

DAVID BORER: And they were all replaced by scabs. The sanitized term for it is permanent replacements.

MALONE: But you're a labor lawyer, so...

BORER: Right.

MALONE: ...You call them scabs, sure.

BORER: That's right.

MALONE: This is longtime labor lawyer David Borer.

BORER: It was horrifying. And, you know, you look at that and you think, oh, my gosh, we can't ever let this happen again.

MALONE: David was watching this TWA fiasco carefully because back then, he was just starting out as the union lawyer for a different group of flight attendants, which included the ones that our story is about today, the flight attendants of Alaska Airlines.

(SOUNDBITE OF ARCHIVED RECORDING)

UNIDENTIFIED NARRATOR: At Alaska Airlines, we discount fares, but we never discount service.

(SOUNDBITE OF MUSIC)

FOUNTAIN: Ba, ba, ba, ba-bum. Ba-bum, ba-bum.

So we pick up a handful of years after the TWA stuff. It's 1993. David was negotiating the new contract for those Alaska Airlines flight attendants.

MALONE: And David says, negotiations were not going very well. And so he and the flight attendants, they had started meeting to discuss what to do next.

BORER: We spent the better part of a week talking about strategy. And we knew the guiding thing behind all of it was, we can't do what the TWA flight attendants did.

MALONE: Right, because now all of the airlines have the TWA playbook. So if your flight attendants go on strike, you just use the old TWA move and replace those pesky strikers.

FOUNTAIN: One of the people David was strategizing with...

GAIL BIGELOW: Good morning, Nick. It's Gail Bigelow.

FOUNTAIN: Gail Bigelow was an Alaska Airlines flight attendant and one of the union's lead negotiators. And she says, this contract negotiation time, it was tense. Alaska Airlines was a small-ish company. And suddenly, not everyone was on the same side.

BIGELOW: And so they had their people who were either married to or friends with or whatever from different departments, and so they were getting information. I'm sure they weren't...

FOUNTAIN: Ooh, there were spies in your ranks.

BIGELOW: There were spies in the ranks. Yes, indeed.

MALONE: To avoid spies, David and Gail had started to hold secret strategy meetings. And really, the focus was trying to find a way around this sort of impossible problem, which was, if the flight attendants go on strike, Alaska Airlines is just going to use the TWA strategy and replace all of the flight attendants. David says they knew they needed a counterstrategy.

BORER: Of course. Sun Tzu says you don't attack your opponents directly, you attack their strategy.

MALONE: Were you literally the guy quoting Sun Tzu's "The Art Of War" at the union organizing meeting?

BORER: Oh, yeah.

MALONE: (Laughter).

BORER: Call me crazy, but, I mean, there's a lot in there. This idea of attacking their strategy was, like, directly applicable.

MALONE: Attack the airline's strategy. Now, remember, the TWA move was to effectively fire everyone without technically firing anyone. Well, David and Gail thought, what if there is a way for us to effectively go on strike without actually going on strike?

FOUNTAIN: In other words, what if they could create the impact of a strike without the risk of a strike? On June 19, 1993, the union calls a press conference.

MARY JO MANZANARES: There's a bunch of chairs. There are people in chairs. There are cameras.

FOUNTAIN: Mary Jo Manzanares was acting as a union spokesperson at that press conference.

MARY JO: There are print reporters, there's television reporters. The big question, of course, was, what were we going to do next?

MALONE: What were they going to do next? And if you were one of the reporters there, it was totally reasonable to expect the big announcement to be the Alaska flight attendants are going on strike. But what happens instead is pretty incredible. Mary Jo walks up to the microphone and basically says, we are not going on strike yet. We will strike, but we aren't telling anyone any of the details.

FOUNTAIN: Here's Mary Jo making the announcement back then.

(SOUNDBITE OF ARCHIVED RECORDING)

MARY JO: So where do we strike, when do we strike, what do we strike? I don't know, and none of you know. And none of management knows. And none of the traveling public knows.

MALONE: The union's thinking was that Alaska Airlines couldn't replace the striking flight attendants if they weren't actually striking yet.

FOUNTAIN: And yet, the announcement made that threat of a strike very real. Mary Jo was at the podium saying that they could strike at any moment on any flight.

MALONE: She told the crowd of reporters that the union was calling this strategy CHAOS, which she was quick to point out was an acronym.

(SOUNDBITE OF ARCHIVED RECORDING)

MARY JO: Create havoc around our system.

MALONE: Create havoc around our system. And you can think of the CHAOS strategy as, like, guerilla warfare. You know, when you're up against a bigger, more powerful opponent, you keep them scrambling. You carefully pick the moment you're going to attack. Hopefully, that forces your opponent to prepare for anything and everything constantly.

FOUNTAIN: And you know who loves a good guerilla warfare, airline chaos story?

(SOUNDBITE OF ARCHIVED RECORDING)

UNIDENTIFIED ANNOUNCER: Now, live at 11 o'clock, KOMO News 4.

UNIDENTIFIED REPORTER #1: Good evening, everyone. If you fly Alaska Airlines, a labor dispute might affect your travel plans.

FOUNTAIN: The television news.

(SOUNDBITE OF ARCHIVED RECORDING)

UNIDENTIFIED REPORTER #1: Alaska flight attendants are threatening to create chaos this summer for passengers aboard the airline.

MALONE: Yeah. I mean, this was made-for-TV-news stuff. What's a better story than CHAOS in the skies, or pay us or CHAOS?

(SOUNDBITE OF ARCHIVED RECORDING)

UNIDENTIFIED REPORTER #2: We just don't know when this stoppage or slowdown or disruption of service is going to occur, but it could happen literally any moment, David (ph).

UNIDENTIFIED REPORTER #3: And of course, that's the tactic of the flight attendants, is not to let anybody know, that threat that something might happen at some time. Has it had any effect on bookings by the airline?

UNIDENTIFIED REPORTER #2: As a matter of fact, it has. The company wouldn't get into specifics, give us absolute numbers, but they did concede today that, yes, the number of bookings is down because of this.

MALONE: Yes, the bookings were going down, and this was key. The union was basically getting the benefits of a strike without suffering the consequences.

FOUNTAIN: Right 'cause if you think about the way a normal strike works, it's all about inflicting economic harm on your opponent. So, like, the company won't make any money because their workers have walked off the job, but also, those workers aren't getting paid either. Normally, both sides are taking the financial hit.

MALONE: But with the flight attendants here, their airline was losing bookings because of the strike threat. And yet, the Alaska flight attendants weren't actually striking yet, so Alaska still had to pay them. And if CHAOS was the strategy, flight attendant and union negotiator Gail Bigelow says it was working better than she had ever expected.

BIGELOW: I had people calling me at my home saying, oh, I have tickets to take my kids to Disneyland. Please don't strike my flight. I mean, people I barely knew. And...

(LAUGHTER)

BIGELOW: ...So it was working.

FOUNTAIN: CHAOS was working. No one knew what would happen next, says union lawyer David Borer.

BORER: And that was part of the strategy - was to keep them guessing. Sun Tzu - to go back to Sun Tzu - says a confused enemy is easily defeated. I know it's corny and everything, but strikes are so much like warfare that it's actually directly applicable.

FOUNTAIN: Now, this whole not striking but threatening to strike thing - this was just phase one of the CHAOS strategy because the union knew this phase could only last so long. Like, eventually they would become the flight attendants who cried strike over and over, and people would stop taking their threat seriously. Phase two of CHAOS was coming - a real strike somewhere, sometime, just eventually.

MALONE: In the meantime, Alaska Airlines - they were preparing for that moment. Greg Witter was a spokesperson for Alaska Airlines at the time, and he was in the boardroom helping to figure out Alaska's plan, their countermove, for when those strikes finally did begin.

GREG WITTER: In preparation for the fact that there could be a strike, all the management personnel were trained as flight attendants so that if there is...

MALONE: Including you?

WITTER: Including me. Yep. Yeah, I went off to three weeks of flight attendant training.

MALONE: Tell me about going to flight attendant school. Yeah.

WITTER: Oh, very intense.

MALONE: Intense because, of course, being a flight attendant is so much more than safety demos and handing out little bags of pretzels or whatever.

FOUNTAIN: Yeah. Greg says he had to practice for an emergency landing, pass a pretty rigorous swim test, memorize a phonebook-size safety manual.

WITTER: You've got to learn, basically, every inch of every aircraft you fly. You got to know the least-risk bomb location and...

FOUNTAIN: The what?

WITTER: Latches for this - oh, the least-risk bomb location. So if someone on the plane says they've got a bomb in the bag, and you're able to wrest that bag away from them, where can you put that bomb on the aircraft where it would do the least damage if it went off.

FOUNTAIN: That's a thing? What?

WITTER: That is the thing. Absolutely. The least-risk bomb location - absolutely a thing.

MALONE: And what is the least-risk bomb location? I mean, should we even tell people this, Nick? Is this dangerous information?

FOUNTAIN: It's helpful information.

MALONE: OK, OK. Greg says it's usually behind the engine. Least-risk bomb location - behind the engine. There you go.

FOUNTAIN: So Alaska was training people like Greg, the press guy, and hundreds of other manager types not to become full-time replacements, but as stopgap attendants for the moment the union finally started to strike.

MALONE: Yeah, right because Alaska Airlines was worried about the strike starting, like, in the middle of the flight or something. And so they actually started booking seats for Greg and this crew of managers trained to be flight attendants onto as many flights as possible. You know, that way, if the strike did start mid-flight, one of those people could jump up and suddenly become a flight attendant.

FOUNTAIN: Greg says he was assigned to literally just sit on the flight from Seattle to Guadalajara, Mexico, over and over again. At one point, he says, he even got pulled aside by the Mexican authorities.

WITTER: I just - I remember my heart was pounding when they hauled me into the backroom. And I thought, oh, my God, I know exactly what they're thinking here. And I presume they thought I was a drug mule of some kind.

FOUNTAIN: Sure.

WITTER: Like, who's this guy that keeps flying from Seattle to Guadalajara every four days, you know?

MALONE: Now, having Greg and lots of other management people flying around and sitting at airports - this was just a way to temporarily keep flights going when the big strike eventually did happen.

FOUNTAIN: But Alaska's bigger move was going to be the TWA strategy. As soon as the attendants walked off the job, Alaska could replace them with an army of new flight attendants.

MALONE: Of course, Alaska had to hire that army. They had to find a whole new workforce. And so Alaska held a giant job fair - even sent their assistant vice president of employee relations to this thing.

(SOUNDBITE OF ARCHIVED RECORDING)

UNIDENTIFIED PERSON #1: We are going through the selection process to put people into training for future openings. And, of course...

MALONE: This, by the way, is the weirdest job fair I have ever heard about. For one, remember, Alaska didn't have any jobs to fill yet since no one was striking yet. But also, there are people picketing the job fair, and reporters are asking the job fair attendees basically, like, hey, don't you feel bad signing up to take a job from someone who's going to go on strike?

(SOUNDBITE OF ARCHIVED RECORDING)

UNIDENTIFIED PERSON #2: I'm not worried about them. I got a wife and kids to support. You know, that's their problem.

UNIDENTIFIED PERSON #3: I don't know them, so - if I knew them personally, it'd probably hurt. But I don't, so it doesn't bother me.

FOUNTAIN: OK, so our two sides have their strategies. The flight attendants have CHAOS, their constant strike threat without actually striking yet.

MALONE: And then, Alaska is preparing for the moment that flight attendants finally do strike, preparing to go full TWA, hiring their army of replacements.

After the break, the strike begins.

(SOUNDBITE OF MUSIC)

MALONE: The CHAOS campaign had two phases - phase one, threaten to strike at any moment and then phase two, actually strike, actually have flight attendants walk off the job.

FOUNTAIN: Two months into the campaign, they decided it was time to move into phase two. Gail Bigelow had been collecting the names of her fellow flight attendants who were willing to walk off the job, and they got put on what she called the Guts List.

BIGELOW: They'd have the guts to do it, yes. It was - that's the Guts List.

FOUNTAIN: 'Cause going on strike as a flight attendant very likely meant getting permanently replaced, you know, because of the looming TWA strategy.

BIGELOW: Well, it was frightening for me because I was in a position to try to encourage the flight attendants to strike.

FOUNTAIN: You were asking them to make a - take a crazy risk. They might all lose their jobs.

BIGELOW: It was a crazy risk, yes.

MALONE: It was also this huge puzzle for the flight attendants. Phase two of CHAOS meant actually going on strike. And yet, the moment a flight attendant walked off the job, Alaska was allowed to replace them, pull the old TWA move.

FOUNTAIN: Gail and the union team thought they just might have discovered a way around this, a way to strike without getting replaced.

MALONE: Yeah, it was a very clever, very chaotic kind of countermove to the entire TWA strategy, but they couldn't be sure that it would work until they actually tried it.

FOUNTAIN: The moment of truth came on August 20, 1993, and the whole thing unfolded like a SEAL Team Six mission or something.

MALONE: The target? A fully booked 6 p.m. flight leaving out of Alaska's hub in Seattle. That flight had a crew who had signed up for the Guts List.

FOUNTAIN: One of those flight attendants was Jennifer Price. She says it was a seemingly normal day. She was at the airport when a union official walked up to her and said...

JENNIFER PRICE: OK, Jennifer, we've chosen your crew. You will be striking your flight.

MALONE: Jennifer calmly gets on the plane, stows her baggage, does the preflight checks.

FOUNTAIN: She's there with her fellow flight attendants, Chris (ph) and Barb (ph).

PRICE: The boarding agent came down to the plane and said, are you ready to board? And Barb said, no, we are not ready to board. On the advice of our union, we're engaging in strike action, and we won't be available to perform our work assignment (laughter). And you could see the agent's eyes getting bigger. And then she said, you're kidding. No, I'm not. And we grabbed our suitcases and walked off the airplane.

MALONE: Jennifer and her crew walked past the passengers who were all ready to board. She says they looked confused. They looked like they were getting worried.

FOUNTAIN: And at this exact moment, Gail Bigelow, who's back at strike headquarters, sends a fax to Alaska Airlines saying, we are writing to inform you that we are striking this one flight, Flight 536 out of Seattle's airport.

MALONE: There it was. The strike had officially begun. Yes, it was just one flight crew on one flight. But this was the moment Alaska Airlines had been preparing for.

FOUNTAIN: Yeah, an emergency team of those managers that were trained to be flight attendants jumps into action to sub in for that striking flight crew.

MALONE: But of course, the bigger Alaska strategy was the TWA strategy. As long as Jennifer and her crew were on strike, Alaska was allowed to permanently fill the positions they just walked out on - to effectively fire Jennifer while she's on strike.

FOUNTAIN: But after just 28 minutes of the strike, Gail Bigelow sends a second fax to Alaska Airlines saying, actually, strike's over now.

MALONE: And here's why that is a genius move. Alaska hadn't actually managed to get the paperwork together or whatever it would take to permanently replace Jennifer's flight crew during that 28-minute strike window. That crew was no longer on strike, and so the union was pretty sure Jennifer's group of attendants was now safe from getting TWAed (ph), from getting replaced. Here's Gail Bigelow again.

BIGELOW: The three of them came back to strike headquarters then. And I can remember the picture of them, and they were all very relieved to be in strike headquarters, knowing that they were going to get their jobs back.

MALONE: Flight attendant Jennifer Price remembers that moment - walking back into headquarters that night.

PRICE: Oh, yeah, they cheered. We were the heroes of the day. It was - you know, that was helpful (laughter).

FOUNTAIN: The kind of strike that happened that night, it has a technical name. It's called intermittent striking.

MALONE: Yeah. You know, the idea is instead of everyone going on strike and then staying on strike, you do a bunch of little strikes. In this case, you strike one flight at a time and just for a tiny window of time. And the union was hoping that this would make it incredibly hard for Alaska to actually catch and permanently replace attendants while they were on strike.

FOUNTAIN: And the flight attendants kept attacking this way. Four days later, they struck a flight out of Vegas, then hit five Bay Area flights on the same day.

MALONE: And it was chaos every time this happened. Alaska had to scramble to get their managers onto these flights as flight attendants. Alaska spokesperson Greg Witter remembers being at Seattle's airport when somebody from his company comes, like, running up to him.

WITTER: We have a walk-off. And it was me and two guys from marketing. We were hailed. You guys got to go work a flight. Oh, my God. All three of us - the blood drained out of our faces.

FOUNTAIN: So Greg rushes to get on the flight, and then he realizes he's going to have to give the iconic safety demo.

WITTER: My heart literally was about coming through my throat while I'm doing this safety demonstration. I had cold sweats. Oh, my God. My palms were all sweaty and clammy. It was terrible.

FOUNTAIN: How many flights do you think you did that day?

WITTER: One, two, three. God, I think probably at least three until we got to fly home.

FOUNTAIN: Greg can't exactly remember because it was a total mess. It was clearly an unsustainable solution for Alaska, and it had been just three weeks of this intermittent striking.

MALONE: In the end, here is how this whole tactic-countertactic battle wound down. In what feels a little like an act of desperation, Alaska Airlines said, you know what? We think this intermittent striking thing - we think it's actually not allowed. So forget being replaced. If you do this, you're going to get straight-up fired. The union took Alaska Airlines to court, and the court sided with the union. They said intermittent striking is protected by law.

FOUNTAIN: And the union's like, OK then. We're going to keep doing these intermittent strikes until we get a decent contract. Less than two weeks later, Alaska proposed what Gail thought was pretty decent contract.

MALONE: Gail had been at this for more than three years, and just like that, it was over.

BIGELOW: I was like, oh, my gosh. I have my life back (laughter). I mean, really, that's how I felt. I have my life back. But I - but in seriousness, I felt really good about it. I felt the contract was a good contract.

MALONE: David Borer, the Sun-Tzu-quoting lawyer, agrees. He says the new contract was phenomenal for the flight attendants.

FOUNTAIN: So it was a great victory in your head.

BORER: Yeah, like the poster on my wall, total victory. No, I mean, we didn't lose a single job. Nobody who struck lost any income. And we got a contract with a 60% raise that we hadn't even asked for.

FOUNTAIN: David thinks it was the most successful labor strike of a generation. And he says the CHAOS strategy has kept working for the union. Since that Alaska flight, not a single flight attendant from David's union has had to strike in the U.S. The mere threat of CHAOS has been enough.

MALONE: And I suppose it is reasonable at this point to then wonder, why doesn't every strike use this exact same CHAOS playbook? It seems like the obvious thing to do.

FOUNTAIN: Well, the answer to that one is a little in the weeds. So airline strikes and, actually, railroad strikes, too, have one set of rules. But most other strikes are governed by a different set of rules. And those rules don't allow for this kind of intermittent on-again, off-again striking.

MALONE: Yeah. So for instance, we've got this United Auto Workers strike happening right now. Once the UAW announces, for example, that the Ford assembly plant in Wayne, Mich., is now on strike, well, those workers are going to need to be on strike until the dispute is over. They're not allowed to 20 minutes later, say, oh, hey, never mind. This plant's strike is over.

FOUNTAIN: But what has been really interesting to watch are the ways that the UAW and their president, Shawn Fain, do really seem to be introducing CHAOS where they're allowed to. Attorney David Borer has noticed this too.

BORER: Nobody's asking Shawn Fain, oh, how long do you think you can hold out? They're all saying, oh, when are you going to strike the next plant? And that's exactly how it was with Alaska.

FOUNTAIN: Right. Because what the UAW has done is start by striking at three auto factories, and then it has added a strike at a factory somewhere else, and then at somewhere else and then somewhere else. The rhythm of this UAW strike is sounding a lot like the CHAOS strike from 30 years ago.

MALONE: Yeah, it's funny. I was driving to work the other day and heard a report from our colleague Camila Domonoske about the UAW strike. Here, we'll play a little bit of it for you.

(SOUNDBITE OF ARCHIVED NPR BROADCAST)

CAMILA DOMONOSKE: No one knows how long these strikes will last or what kinds of locations could be targeted next or even which companies. The union has said...

MALONE: So, yeah, I heard that. And I just thought, like, wow, that sounds so similar to that wild press conference 30 years ago when the Alaska flight attendants first introduced CHAOS to the world of labor.

(SOUNDBITE OF ARCHIVED RECORDING)

UNIDENTIFIED PERSON #4: So where do we strike? When do we strike? What do we strike? I don't know, and none of you know, and none of management knows and none of the traveling public knows.

(SOUNDBITE OF LUNA CITIES' "BELIEVE")

FOUNTAIN: You can email us at [email protected], or you can find us on TikTok, Facebook or Instagram. We're @planetmoney.

MALONE: Our show today was produced by Sam Yellowhorse Kesler with help from Dave Blanchard and Willa Rubin. It was edited by Jess Jiang and fact-checked by Sierra Juarez. It was mastered by Hans Copeland. Ayda Pourasad helped with research. Alex Goldmark is our executive producer.

FOUNTAIN: Shout-out to the Wall Street Journal reporters Nora Eckert, Mike Colias and Ryan Felton, whose mention of the CHAOS strategy in an article about the UAW's present strategy turned us on to the story. I'm Nick Fountain.

MALONE: I'm Kenny Malone. This is NPR. Thanks for listening.

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sepulchritude · 3 months

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alright well, i'm trying to figure out if i've acquired some learned helplessness, and what to do about it. i don't know if what i'm dealing with is a result of a combination of illnesses (likely), or if this is one aspect i can target to make a material improvement. i do have adhd, and some combination of c-ptsd and depression, and so far adderall has not at all helped my ability to Do Things, as if there's some kind of mental blockade between me and tasks. i don't know what to do at this point. (sorry if this isn't really enough context? this still is the internet after all lol)

You followed up to say you’re pretty sure it’s learned helplessness now, so let me start with a non-pop psych description of LH (fully agree with your previous ask that googling was unhelpful, I tried and got nothing good)

LH occurs when a person is repeatedly, consistently punished (by others or their environment) for their efforts, and thus learns that action = pain. LH is a completely rational response to an irrational environment; when trying to do anything gets you hurt, you quickly learn not to do anything. Like other trauma responses, it’s the brain’s way of keeping you safe in an unsafe situation, and the trouble comes in when you move to a safer environment while keeping those old survival mechanisms.

So if that’s what you’re running into, the main course of action I would recommend is getting a therapist who has experience with PTSD and specifically C-PTSD like you mentioned. They’ll be able to work with you personally and give you actual tailored professional help. But for like, daily things you can do in the meantime, I think one workaround could be leaning on trusted others to help you get started. Asking a friend to go with you, sit with you, hang around and chat while you work, etc could help because although maybe You can’t do [insert thing here], they aren’t held to the same standards your brain holds you to, and their presence might help kickstart you into action. Even just telling someone about the problem can be a huge help in getting you past the problem, so definitely recruit people you can complain to and/or call for moral support. But also, just knowing that this is a problem you have can help you start working through it simply because now you can learn to recognize and refute it.

With trauma sometimes we have to be scientists; if your brain’s hypothesis is that doing things doesn’t accomplish anything, then your job is to seek out evidence and evaluate it and determine if that’s true or not. Maybe it was true in the past, but you can’t really know if it’s still true in your current situation until you test it gradually, over time, and in a wide range of activities. The goal is that eventually you will compile enough evidence (lived experience) that your brain can stop defaulting to its old strategies, but this will take time. Just don’t beat yourself up while you’re trying to learn and grow.

Hopefully that helps! Trauma is a bitch but I’m glad you’re in a place where you can start unpacking it and hopefully find some more peace in your life.

#ironically we were JUST talking about learned helplessness in class the other day #and of course disclaimer that i am not a licensed professional and these are just my thoughts for you to reflect on #would also recommend working with your psychiatrist to make sure your meds are working well #antidepressants don’t fix trauma but they can lift the haze enough to allow you to breathe and start working on things like the trauma #same with adderall. maybe it can’t fix the LH problem but it can remove barriers in your way that you don’t need #ask #antivertigo #sepulchritudinous

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fereldanwench · 4 months

Text

WIP Whenever (Actually on a Wednesday!)

@chevvy-yates had tagged me in a WIP Whenever thingy last week (I think? What is time) and @breezypunk sharing their WIPs reminded me I meant to do this. So, stuff I'm working on!

Over my Christmas break, I just started barely scratching the surface of working on my own custom poses. Because I'm me, I desperately need some battle couple poses--Fighting side-by-side, holding the other one while they're wounded, maybe fighting each other, etc. I compiled a Pinterest inspo board here to get an idea of what I'm going for.

This pose isn't anywhere close to being finished, but it's a start:

A small confession: while I actually like working in Blender quite a bit, I kind of hate everything else about modding, lmao. I've probably said it before, but my day job requires me to use so many shitty apps and software that always require 37 workarounds just to perform normally--I really don't have a lot of patience for troubleshooting shit during my leisure hours. Hopefully, the project won't become too much of a headache when I get into importing and working with props. 🤞

Virtual photography is always a constant for me these days--I was actually thinking yesterday how it feels like the absolute perfect creative medium for me. I like drawing and writing and 'real' photography, and I very much need to make sure I have more analog and tactile creative projects to keep me sane, but VP just hits in a way nothing else really has.

I am still working on the photostory I shared last time, but I don't want to give away too much there. It's also on a bit of a pause while I figure out some tech issues (read: I regret updating my game, lmao). However, I already have a ton of shots/mini-stories I need to queue up:

Other than that, it's kind of personal reflection shit and contemplating goals/resolutions for 2024. Getting long-winded and a little blunt under the cut:

I've always really struggled with making goals--I don't think I've ever had a situation in which I explicitly stated "I have a goal of XYZ" and then I achieved XYZ. I've had plenty of nebulous "Hey, I think I'd like to do XYZ" thoughts and then lo and behold, I do actually make XYZ a reality, but as soon as the word "goal" is attached to something, I just check tf out.

It was actually something I was trying to talk to my therapist about last summer, and then we kind of hit a dead end on that specific topic and decided I had other problems that were more pressing to deal with, lmao. But all the best goal advice in the world--following the SMART method, sharing it with someone for extra accountability, etc.--Just does not work with my brain.

(The accountability thing in particular always hugely backfires for me because just telling someone I want to do a thing tricks my brain into thinking I did that thing and now I don't need to anymore. Also, I don't like people telling me what to do, so if someone was like "hey, shouldn't you do this thing so you can meet your goal" I will say no just on principle of being a brat, lmao. I really hate that piece of advice.)

I know some of it, probably a lot of it, is fear of failure if I don't meet the goal. I'm very hard on myself--That's a no-brainer.

But I also think some of it, maybe just as much, is fear of success. Which I used to think was the stupidest fucking thing anyone could say about this shit, but success can mean big change. Success can mean increased feelings of imposter syndrome. Success can mean attention and responsibility I don't want. Success can mean bigger consequences if I do fuck up later.

I've come to realize that success is honestly as equally scary to me as failing.

I think this is a big reason I've always been content (or convinced myself to be content) with being good and not great, even if that means I'm not reaching my ~*full potential*~. (There are other external/macro reasons for that too, like my loathing of people trying to push me to monetize my passions, but I don't feel like getting into systemic gripes, lmao.)

Goals that require me to step outside of my usual routine also give me a lot of anxiety, which is something I've working towards managing (you could say that it's a goal of mine to get that under control dfgjhfjgdf), but that's still a very real hurdle for me.

Like I've been trying to go back to a minimum of 20 minutes of dedicated exercise (versus just walking a lot) a 3 times a week, and I get stressed if I miss it, or even just feel like I'm going to miss it (like if 7 PM starts creeping up and I haven't started it yet), but I also get all bent out shape spending 20 minutes on exercising while I'm doing it as if there's a better use of that time and THERE'S NOT. Like, what am I really missing? 20 minutes of scrolling Tumblr? Shut the fuck up, lmao.

All this to say that I don't really feel like I'm ready to set goals in a traditional sense, and that might not be something that ever works for me, but there are things I think would just be... kinda nice for me to do for myself that I want to do this year:

I need to actually be nicer to myself. As a matter of fact, @ren3gade--I hope you don't mind the tag, but I've been meaning to thank you for the "forgive yourself" advice you shared a couple of months back. I started making it a point to use that in my self-talk when I start spiraling, and it has been one of the best means of mitigating certain aspects of my social anxiety. I felt goofy as hell when I first started doing it, but that shit works. Positive self-talk makes you feel better, wow, who knew certainly not me

In a similar spirit, I want to stop being so judgemental about my limitations, and I need to mitigate feelings of guilt when I set boundaries for my mental health and energy. This is something I want to achieve in all areas of my life, but I think the easiest place for me to start flexing these muscles is with fandom. Because, damn, I let myself get into some really bad habits with the CP77 fandom (and I forgive myself for that 🙌). One of the big ones has been putting pressure on myself to keep up with what all my CP77 mutuals are doing at all times, and I'm not doing that to myself anymore. I've spent so much time in the past two years methodically going through tags and blogs to catch up on stuff I missed, and I'm just... relieving myself of this obligation. I know a lot of folks have tried to mitigate that for themselves by encouraging everyone to use their username-tracked tag--I'm not doing that. I'm not giving y'all more tagging work, and I'm not going to give myself the same obligation just in a different way. If I miss a post, I miss a post. Of course y'all are always more than welcome to @ me or send me things you think I'd enjoy (I love that, actually!!), but I'm just one person--I'm incapable of being an omnipresent fandom cheerleader and I don't know why I was pushing myself to be that. Well, that's not entirely true--I have some idea of why, but that's also a mentality I'm leaving in the dust. 😘 Also, for a long time, I did not use the like button for anything other than personal posts purely out of spite because I got tired of people complaining when they'd get likes but not reblogs--My asshole mentality was "Fine, now you get nothing." And that worked for me for several years and several fandoms, but I'm frankly tired of the "like" slander on Tumblr. It's a valid form of interaction and letting someone know you liked their stuff. I don't say this with malice, but other people's mentality of being unhappy with likes instead of reblogs is not my burden to bear. Anyway, I don't want to turn this into a rant about fandom stuff, lmao, but the point is I need more boundaries in my life, and I'm starting here.

I'm happier when I spend more time than I have been on traditional art and creative things that get me off my PC. Like I said above, I love VP so much, but it does unfortunately tether me to my computer desk longer than is probably good for me in the long run, mentally and physically. I stocked up on some new traditional art supplies, and I need to put those to use now that I'm settled into my new place. (And I've been itching to do a charcoal portrait of my bb girl.)

Reading books (gotta be physical, no screens) also makes me feel better. I've got about 7 books on my nightstand that I could totally finish this year--Doing that might be the one stereotypical goal I make for myself.

I want to reevaluate how I "multitask;" in particular, I want to break the habit of always having to have a background show/movie on OR always feeling the need to do something on my computer/phone while I watch a show/movie. Even as a kid (way before I lost my attention span to my smartphone lmao), I've always been inclined to doing something else while I watch shows and movies, but that used to be limited to drawing or painting my nails, which I think is fine. Now I just always feel like I need a screen nearby to do something else, even if there's really not something else worth doing. And listening to music or podcasts while I work on a thing is also fine, but it's gotten to the point where I almost can't have complete silence, and I don't like that. I miss being comfortable with silence while I pour all of my focus into a project. I just need to find some equilibrium here.

I know this isn't exactly a standard WIP Whenever, but me is what I'm working on, and I think it's all essential stuff to nurturing my creativity. 😊

#mine: wip #t: wench.txt

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five-rivers · 1 year

Text

First. Previous.

Okay. Well. Taking everything into consideration… and emphasizing safety… Going out was risky as either Fenton or Phantom. Waiting was… safe. It was safe, but if he had to do it without something to do other than college courses of dubious utility, he'd go nuts.

Besides, it was like a security exercise. If he could do it, someone else could do it. Better to be prepared! Honestly, locking him out was a safety hazard, too. What if there was an emergency and he needed to go to the Zone (not unlike now)?

And… just because he found a workaround didn't mean he had to use it. He could find it, then stop. Report it to his parents. It'd- it'd be useful.

A constriction in his chest he hadn't even been aware of loosened. His shoulders slumped.

It'd still be useful even if he did go through with it. He'd be exploring. Collecting new information. Learning.

He pushed away from the lab door and, feeling slightly rebellious, flew up into his bedroom. He kicked off his shoes and scrunched his toes into the carpet, trying to draw comfort from the sensation of home he'd painstakingly worked into his not-quite-a-lair. Then, he went to his computer and started to pull up all the information he had on the DNA scanner, the lock, and the portal doors.

If he was going to do this, even on a theoretical basis, he needed to have a plan of action. He needed to have things to research, to test, he needed to…

… he needed to call Tucker.

"Hey, man," said Tucker, and Danny resisted the urge to ask him if his voice had gotten deeper again, because even if it seemed that way it probably hadn't and Danny didn't want to make this weird again. "How did your talk with your parents go?"

"Bad."

"Ah," said Tucker. "Did you tell them how you feel?"

"I tried," said Danny, flopping dramatically on his bed. "They're not listening."

"Maybe you should get Jazz to talk to them, after all."

"No," said Danny. "I don't want to--She has her own things to worry about, and Mom and Dad and I… we need to figure out how to work out our problems. I was actually wondering, would you help me hack the DNA lock on the portal? They disabled my privileges."

There was a long moment of silence, and Danny bit his lip, worried.

"Danny, dude, do you really think that's 'working out your problems?' Don't you think that's a bit, I don't know, extreme?"

“I don’t know. I just need to do something, and they won’t let me do anything. I feel like I’m stuck and I hate it. I’d just– I’d just feel a lot better knowing that I could go, if I needed to. Could you help me get through it? Please?”

“Okay, okay. I'll help. Just let me think about it for a minute."

Danny bit his lip. "Okay."

Tucker was silent for a long moment, but just when Danny started to think that maybe he’d pushed too hard, he said, “Just to be clear, you want this to be, like, some way you could get through at any time? Not something where you just have to get through once at some point?”

“I mean, yeah. Because, because,” Danny hurried to say, “I’m not necessarily going through without their permission, I just want to be able to go.”

“Uh huh,” said Tucker. “Well, if you just wanted to go through once, and have it be one and done, I’d say keep an eye on them and wait for them to open the portal, but I guess we’ll have to be more tricky.”

“That’s not hacking.”

“Yeah, but some of the best hacking isn’t hacking at all, it’s social engineering. When possible, you go around security, not through.”

“Oh,” said Danny. “I hadn’t thought of it that way.” It wasn’t too different from some of the things he did when fighting, after all, or when avoiding fights.

“And you’re better at the mechanical end of things to begin with. Less stuff to go wrong.”

“Uh huh,” said Danny. “But I don’t think there’s much mechanical I can do beyond taking apart the lock. Which I can do, I guess. It’ll just take a long time and be really noticeable. Or the door itself.”

“Yeah, how about we table that for now. Do they have any of their probes still out? Or anything else that’s kind of on both ends? I know you can’t do that tech possession digital travel thing in, like, public anymore, because of the Guys in White monitor, but can you do it on your parents’ stuff?”

Danny considered that for a moment, then shook his head. “They ghost proofed a lot of it since last time Technus went by. I don’t think it occurred to any of us to make an exception for me. If they even could do something like that.” He paused. “There is the thermos plug. I still have access to that. But it doesn’t open unless you put the thermos in and stand clear.”

“Can’t you make duplicates?”

Danny sat up. “Huh?”

“Can’t you just, you know, duplicate yourself, suck one of yourselves - man, that sounds bad, somehow - into the thermos, and then have the other one of you flush the thermos?”

“That’s…” Danny paused for dramatic effect, “genius!”

“Thanks,” said Tucker, dryly. “Glad to know I still have it.”

“Of course! Like you could lose it.”

“Trust me, I can definitely lose it,” said Tucker. “Hey, if you do try this, maybe write a note for your parents first? Because you can’t get back through this way.”

“Oh, yeah,” said Danny. “That is a problem. But I think it should be fine…” This wasn’t like the old days, after all. His parents would notice if he was gone for any significant length of time. Which was good! Just… not convenient for slipping away.

“Don’t do anything too crazy, alright? Wait for Sam and I to come back for summer break.”

Danny smiled and nodded, even though he knew Tucker couldn’t see him. “I know! I’m looking forward to it!”

For obvious reasons, Danny couldn’t try out the workaround while his parents were still in the lab. He had to wait until after they came up for a stilted family dinner, and then even longer for them to go to bed.

But when they did…

He went down to the lab, thermos in hand, and stood in front of the portal. He rolled the thermos nervously between his hands, staring up at the portal. If he did this, his parents would be mad, but…

His eyes slid over to the comm equipment they used during his excursions. If he got them good data, maybe they wouldn’t be as mad?

On the other hand, then they’d be able to find him.

He bit his lip. He could still back out, too. Make what he’d told himself and Tucker more true. Go to bed.

#danny phantom #poll #audience participation #kingdoms of fish

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sailforvalinor · 4 months

Note

📔

Since last year, I’ve had an idea for a Harry Potter fic rattling around in my head prompted by the realization that Lily’s death is necessary for the love-magic-protection that enables Harry to survive both killing curses, but James’s isn’t—what does the world look like if James Potter somehow survives? I came to the conclusion that because the protection spell that Dumbledore originally uses to protect Harry until he comes of age applies to those of Lily’s blood, he would still want him to live with the Dursley’s, and thus Dumbledore decides that the best course of action is for 21 year old, traumatized, newly-widowed James to fake his death. It’s safest for Harry, the Death Eaters already think he’s dead, and it’s really useful for Dumbledore to have a piece on the chessboard that both the Death Eaters and the Ministry don’t know about. James isn’t thrilled about this, but he’s too distraught (and too used to Dumbledore being right about everything) to argue. He’s really only a few years out of school, after all.

I know I had worked out all the logical kinks on this one at some point but I don’t really remember now—but the fic would involve James working as a sort of secret agent for Dumbledore, a wild card, if you will, while keeping an eye on Harry from afar. This James would be a little different than the one we’re familiar with—a bit more mature and serious, and of course absolutely wracked with guilt. He hardly resembles who he used to be after losing Lily, and he’s pretty dang desperate not to make any more mistakes, lose anyone else.

Snape of course is one of the only other people who would know James was alive, and the bad blood between them is as terrible as ever, as Snape would blame him for “letting” Lily get killed. (As if James doesn’t blame himself enough.)

Sirius would also know, as he was the first one to Godric’s Hollow after the attack and would have found James, but that doesn’t do much good after he’s arrested. The only way I can think to workaround the fact that Dumbledore would know Sirius was innocent if he had talked to James is if James was so seriously incapacitated after the attack on Godric’s Hollow (don’t ask how I don’t know. WAIT MAYBE IN THIS VERSION VOLDEMORT ENCOUNTERS LILY FIRST AND HER LOVE MAGIC EXTENDS TO BOTH HARRY AND JAMES??? OH MY GOSH???) that the “trial” occurs before James is lucid enough to talk and Dumbledore gives evidence against Sirius because he assumes he’s the Secret Keeper.

Other than fulfilling Dumbledore’s wishes and keeping an eye on Harry, James spends a lot of his time trying to figure out how to break Sirius out of Azkaban. Maybe he succeeds earlier than in the original series? He also is trying to hunt down Peter, of course—probably spots him in the newspaper like Sirius does. Or maybe he sees him with Ron while watching Harry?

Does Remus know that James is alive? I’m gonna say yes, but Dumbledore doesn’t know that. It makes no sense for him not to, he’s the only friend he has left.

I figure by Prisoner of Azkaban, James has had enough of Dumbledore’s nonsense and reveals himself to Harry—it would be pretty dang poetic if it’s during the first patronus scene, and it IS actually him casting it from across the lake. How would Harry react to finding out he’s been alive this whole time? Idk, it would be complicated, but man I’m getting emotional just thinking about it.

Also, while it does make sense that Dumbledore wouldn’t want James to use his original wand, I know it makes the most sense for James to have acquired a spare one somewhere—but the concept of James Potter with a Glock hit me over the head with a broom, and I’d love to somehow finagle it into making sense because can you imagine? Someone in the HP universe with a gun?? The comedic potential???

A dementor: *appears*

Harry and Sirius: “EXPECTO—“

James: *shoots it in the face*

#james: *shoots dementor in the face* ‘AVADA KADAVRA’#I’m a little obsessed with this James being kind of terrifying. not in a ‘cold calculating danger’ sort of way but a ‘white-hot #unpredictable burn-you-if-you-get-too-close’ sort of way. who knows what he’ll do. like you see Harry and he’s got a bit of an edge but #then you meet his dad and you’re like ‘oh THAT’S where it’s from.’ (ik people love the parallels between Harry and Lily but we are missing #out on the Harry and James ones). kind of obsessed with the idea of James being one of the only people Dumbledore was ever scared of #(especially if he ever found out about his REAL plans for Harry…)#also I keep thinking about one of the strange things to happen during Harry’s childhood (like the blue hair and him teleporting to the roof #of the school) is him being watched as a six year old by a stag on the playground. this happens multiple times #james potter #anyway does this make sense? it’s 3 am and I don’t know #also this James would 100% have a Moment about the resurrection stone

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copperbadge · 2 years

Text

I’ve been doing more research on ADHD after the diagnosis, specifically watching some channels that you guys and others have recommended, and it’s actually a fascinating process coming at the diagnosis from the far side of forty instead of the near side of twenty.

I have a ton of coping mechanisms, which I developed because “Well, I’ve got to deal with life somehow”. In the evaluation I had with the psychiatrist, I was basically diagnosed on them. Some of the more simple ones really seemed to fascinate him, like taking the doors off my kitchen cupboards and hanging my keys on the knob of my self-locking door.

Many of the videos are about helping younger people develop these coping mechanisms -- not relevant to me, generally, although some of the tips are still useful, like the idea that whatever you’re doing to cope, it’s meant to lower the demand on executive function. I’m fortunate in that my diagnosis is inattentive, I don’t have the hyperactive angle, and thus don’t have a ton of need for fidget toys or sensory stimulation in the way the videos talk about. The fidget spinner I have is cool because it’s Captain America, but it doesn’t like...help, per se, and after about two minutes I get frustrated with the fact that there’s no result, it doesn’t produce anything. I do best in meetings and classes when I have something to occupy me, but it can’t be tactile, it has to at least partially engage my brain, and knowing that I need a brain-fidget rather than a hand-fidget will be helpful in coming up with appropriate (and socially acceptable) workarounds.

Not sure what to do with all the discussion of emotional regulation; I feel like I’ve got that bit figured out but also like maybe my solutions aren’t the healthiest, so we’ll see.

I think perhaps the most useful thing is the idea of identifying a need or issue and then finding a workaround for it as a conscious process, which is usually something I do instinctively. This one video was about going to Target specifically to shop for products for kids that could still help adults with ADHD, and while most of it was fidget toys, I liked the idea of browsing with the focus in mind of finding tools for workarounds. Which led to the idea of, well, what am I working around? and the concept of consciously identifying ADHD-specific issues. So that’s something to think on for a while -- aside from the Adderall, what are solutions to specific ADHD-driven issues I have?

I suspect because I am older and well-trained in problem solving I may not get as much assistance from videos or books about living with ADHD as a younger person might, as I might have as a younger person. I think I may look for something more along the lines of a layperson’s medical text; I’d like to know what we know about how ADHD affects function, because that will be more helpful to me in identifying ways my experience of reality is not neurotypical, and then I can come up with my own workarounds. Because it is a trifle frustrating to look for more information and get a lot of stuff -- useful stuff, just not useful to me -- about fidget toys or bullet journaling. :D

Plus...the biggest hurdle I’ve had is an inability to start and carry-through tasks, and the Adderall does a great job with that, so a huge looming issue is resolved, or at least on its way to resolution. Other than that I don’t really see many problems that are going unaddressed, but that’s where a more thorough knowledge of the actual biology might help me shift perspective.

Anyway. Get in losers, we’re going to Target even if we don’t need fidget toys, because Target is fun to shop at.

#sam has adhd

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sirfrogsworth · 10 months

Text

The last thing my mom bought me was a fancy A/V receiver. She got some inheritance after her mom passed and wanted to do something nice for me since I took care of her and dad pretty much all by myself.

She died shortly after it arrived and I didn't even take it out of the box for over a year. I didn't hook it up until after my dad died. I don't know why I took so long. I guess for a long time it just didn't feel all that important anymore.

It has a lot of features and a lot of power and it seems really good... on paper.

The plan was to install 4 ceiling speakers and add two more floor speakers to get a 7.1.4 Dolby Atmos experience in my basement bedroom. I would be able to have sound come from literally every direction. (Well, not from below.)

That is still a plan, but I have had to postpone all of that due to budget cuts. The fancy receiver has been relegated to a measly 3.1 experience since I moved upstairs. I'm considering converting the upstairs living room into my home theater instead of my bedroom. I'd have a little more space and higher ceilings for the Atmos speakers, but I'd lose the concrete floor of the basement. So I'd have to figure out how to temper the vibrations of the subwoofer into our creaky floor.

ANYWAY.

The problem is... the actual day-to-day operation of this fancy receiver has been super quirky and frustrating.

The thing people may not realize about high end electronics is that they always have their issues. You'd think they'd be bug-free for that price, but it is usually quite the opposite. You have to figure out what all the bugs are and then research all of the workarounds in forums and eventually you'll learn a workflow to make the device function for your needs.

Part of the reason is that the higher the price, the more features they cram in, the more that can go wrong. But a lot of it is just poor software development. They focus almost all of their attention on getting the hardware right.

It's a maddening troubleshooting process and sometimes makes you want to buy that Sonos crap or maybe even... Bose. *shiver*

But this receiver has been *extra* buggy. I was a little disappointed by this. And I felt guilty for hating this wonderful gift my mom gave me. I have this Yamaha receiver that was a third of the price and it functions wonderfully.

Or maybe I just think that because I've already figured out all the quirks and workarounds.

No, I'm pretty sure the Yamaha has been a fairly smooth experience.

I kinda love my old Yamaha.

And I also love that they make pianos and motorcycles and drums and marching band equipment and sporting goods and boats.

Yamaha was all...

It's just that Yamaha doesn't have the Dirac calibration system included like the Onkyo and everyone on the forums said that was a big deal. So I abandoned the trusty Yamaha brand for Onkyo and it's 130 watts and 11 channels of processing and HDMI 2.1 future proofing.

The other day I noticed something extra weird with the Onkyo. My Nvidia Shield (another amazing yet frustrating device) was outputting a 5.1 signal. But my receiver thought it was stereo.

Another bug.

So I headed to the forums and found the solution. I had to turn off "Dolby processing" in a deep submenu of a submenu in my Shield settings. My receiver already does Dolby processing so I guess I was doing double Dolby processing and that is like crossing the streams in Ghostbusters.

Weirdly, this fixed like half of my issues. I don't know how in the world I was supposed to know this one setting buried deep in the menus was causing all this havoc. But it has made me go from wanting to yeet this thing out the window and get a Bose clock radio... to mostly enjoying the experience of having a fancy receiver.

It still handles HDMI switching as if it is having a stroke, but I have found if you turn everything off and power on the Shield FIRST and then all the other components, I can prevent most of the stroke symptoms.

Though sometimes it takes 3 tries.

Onkyo: SOFTWARE DEVELOPMENT??? WHAT'S THAT??

In any case, THANKS MOM!

I'm sure I will love your gift when I have 12 speakers blaring at me from every direction.

#long post

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candycandy00 · 1 year

Text

So I've been seeing a lot of discussion lately about the Todoroki family subplot and some things that keep being brought up are these questions: "What should Endeavor have done? Should he have just kept encouraging Touya to be a hero even though he was burning himself? Wouldn't that make him an even worse father?"

So I wanted to talk about that. A lot of Endeavor defenders seem to think his heart was always in the right place, he only wanted to protect Touya from his own quirk, etc. And I totally disagree with that idea. Let me get this out of the way first: I don't hate Endeavor as a character. In fact, I think he's a very interesting and important character for the story, to show that heroes are not infallible, that they can seem upstanding to the public while being terrible in private.

And I also think his redemption arc is going well. At every single point, I had the fear that this would be it. This would be the moment his family suddenly forgives him and all his past deeds are swept under the rug. I was sure this would happen after his dramatic battle with the nomu in Kyushu. When I saw his kids watching the battle, I thought, "Here we go. All it took was one dramatic fight and he's forgiven." But it didn't happen that way, and I'm so glad it didn't. I'm so glad he has to WORK for it. He has to KEEP WORKING for it. And I do think it's possible for him to change and actually be a decent father to his children. If he keeps fighting for that. If he keeps up his good behavior and shows that he's a changed man. So, please don't assume I just hate his guts and don't want to accept any charitable opinions of him just because I'm stubborn.

So, about what he could have done differently with Touya. First of all, he could have not tied Touya's worth as a person and as a son to his potential to be a hero that can surpass All Might. He instilled that line of thinking into Touya from the very beginning, with no regard to how that could end up backfiring. He never should have put so much emphasis on that while raising Touya.

But, okay, what's done is done. What about after he realized Touya's quirk was injuring him, literally burning him? What could he have done differently at that point? Were his options truly limited to "let him keep burning himself alive" or "tell him to abandon his dream and then ignore him in favor of the child who can still make my dreams come true"? Of course not. There's a middle ground, and Endeavor made no attempt to find it because he was too preoccupied with Shouto.

What Endeavor should have done was actually have a real talk with Touya and LISTEN to him. Because then he would have known how important being a hero was to Touya. He should have told Touya "Yes, you can still be a hero, but we need to proceed more carefully and figure out a way to get around your weakness to fire. We'll find a way for you to use your quirk safely so you can be the best hero ever!" Even if he didn't believe it himself, Touya would have believed it. Because Touya was a child. And hey, with all the cool technology and support gear in this universe, it's entirely possible (maybe even probable) that they would have actually found a workaround for Touya's quirk. He should have encouraged Touya's dream while also explaining to him that he has to be more careful not to damage his body. He could have said something like "If you damage your body too much, you won't be able to be a hero in the future! So let's find a safe way for you to train!" And actually, you know, do that.

All of this pain and suffering, the creation of Dabi the villain, could have been avoided if Endeavor had only been willing to put in the time and effort it would require to keep training Touya (carefully) and maybe do a little research on ways to help prevent him from burning himself. But Endeavor didn't want to do that because he wanted to invest all of his time into poor Shouto. He didn't have TIME for Touya and Touya's dreams and Touya's weaknesses. The truth is, Endeavor must have known that Touya could still have been a hero, even with his weakness to fire. He just couldn't be a hero that would surpass All Might. And if he couldn't do that? Then Endeavor had no interest in him.

So yeah, Endeavor had other options. He was just so eager to move on from Touya, who would have been more difficult to train, to Shouto, that he didn't even try to explore any of those options. In short, he put his own needs and interests above the needs of his son, and this is the result. Endeavor doesn't get "good father" points for telling Touya to stop training and stop burning himself. Because it was never about Touya. It was about himself.

#Dabi #Touya Todoroki #Endeavor #Todoroki Touya #Boku no Hero Academia

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lady-karasu · 30 days

Text

Post unrebloggable, but I like it so this is my workaround.

Listening to someone else watch the original ATLA again, just starting season 3, and there's this line where Aang suggests that it didn't just look like he died, but he DID actually die and Katara brought him back. And look, I don't know much about the lore introduced by TLOK, but this sounds like a really fun place to start an AU inspired by "Buffy the Vampire Slayer"'s take on the temporary death and resurrection of a cyclical chosen one: Aang is brought back to life and is STILL the Avatar, but his temporary death still also causes another Avatar to be born into the Southern Water Tribe (or Swamp People or refugees on some southern island, whatever).

Like, I know the Avatar is a reincarnation thing, but weird things can happen with spirits! Maybe this glitch in the cycle causes the spiritual equivalent of mitosis to happen to the Avatar and the spirit attached to them, so there's just two of them now! Maybe having two Avatars has some spiritual downsides, maybe not, it's up to whatever path you choose to explore in this AU.

I just think it would be really funny for post-canon 24yo Aang (and the Gaang and the White Lotus and all the spiritual / religious orders on the planet) to suddenly be confronted with a 10yo water tribe kid who is ALSO the Avatar.

A water tribe couple shuffle awkwardly up to Sokka, like, "Sooooo... we think our 10 year old daughter might be the Avatar...? She can, uh, bend all the elements and all that. Look at this shit." And Sokka is like, "Fuck, Aang is dead?!" Before he's like, "Wait, I saw Aang last week, this kid is way too old?!" And he has to hastily contact Aang like, "Hey, buddy, you're still alive, right?" And Aang can only reply, "Uhhh, last I checked, yes?!?!"

It's probably Sokka and Katara who put the pieces of the timeline together and figure out what caused this, because all of the other Avatars are probably initially like, "Yeah, I have no idea what's happening here. I'm you and you're me, but I'm also her and she's also me, and you and her are kind of the same person, but you're obviously different people now? Wow! Good luck figuring all that out, kid! You're really going places none of us have gone before! A real groundbreaker!"

Aang, through gritted teeth, "I am really not TRYING to do that, thank you!"

#Avatar #I'd read the hell out of this

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typingatlightspeed · 1 year

Note

Ohh could you write some speedingbullet whump and/or hurt/comfort pretty please? alternatively some dom/service sub body worship dynamics between demo and sniper however which way you like it

TF2 Fanfic - Textures

Scout catches the flu and a sinus infection robs him of his senses of smell and taste, leaving him miserable and having trouble willing himself to eat. Sniper helps figure out a workaround to get him eating, at least.

Sappy Hope you enjoy, anon! I couldn't come up withy any good whump so I went hurt/comfort, drawing from some of my own experiences with illnesses over the years (and particularly my bout with COVID last year).

---------

"You've gotta eat somethin'," Sniper urged, setting a bowl of soup down on the night stand. "If you don't eat you're not gonna have the strength to recover.

"I'm not hungry," Scout mumbled though a stuffy nose, his eyes slowly rolling open, squinting in the low light that filtered through the blinds of his quarters. "Can't taste it anyway with this sinus infection."

"I know, Jer, but—"

"I can't get it down!" Tears pricked at Scout's eyes, and he rolled onto his side to face away from Sniper, shifting on the bed with what little energy he had. "If I can't taste it I can't get myself to swallow it. It's just nothin', no sensation. Everythin's just all snot."

Sniper sighed, sitting on the bed in the space Scout left, utterly frustrated. The younger man had been sick for a week and a half with what Medic was sure was the flu, and once the coughing had given way to a sinus infection, Scout had completely lost the ability to smell or taste anything. He'd claimed it had just tasted like rotten mucus, and he had stopped eating.

It had been a sad thing at first, seeing the usually spry and energetic athlete rendered inert and writhing with muscle aches and fever, coughing up his damned lungs. Ever the dutiful boyfriend, Sniper had done his best to tend to him while minimizing contact, not too keen on getting sick himself. But now that Scout wasn't eating, he cared less about his own safety and more about his boyfriend's.

"If I get you some interestin' textures do you think you'd be able to choke somethin' down? You've got to eat, Jer."

Scout mumbled quietly, his voice more a whimper than actual speech.

"Can't understand you." Sniper tried not to let himself get frustrated. Scout would always get so quiet and pathetic when he felt like shit.

"I can try," Scout repeated, unsure and exhausted. He'd half said it just to get Sniper to stop lecturing him, wishing he'd just let him sleep.

"Alright, that's all I ask is that you try. I'll figure somethin' out and be back. If you can, try to get some of that soup down too. At least drink some broth, yeh?"

"Okay," Scout mumbled, drawing the blanket up around himself. "Thanks, babe."

"You don't gotta thank me; just get better," Sniper sighed, petting Scout's hair fondly before standing. "Love you."

"Love you too."

Closing the door behind him, Sniper sighed and pulled off his hat, running a hand through his hair. Scout was an absolute mess, and he had no idea if he was getting better or not at this point. Medic had told him that progress was not expressly linear, especially with a flu as bad as Scout's, but it still didn't make him worry any less as he progressed from symptom to symptom rather than simply shedding them on his way to convalescence.

The fact that the poor guy just had to suffer through it as the virus ran its course just made it worse. Sniper hated seeing Scout have to go through this, and worse was that the only thing he could do was try to make sure he ate, showered, and made it to the bathroom if he was too weak to get there on his own. Thankfully, that last contingency had only come to pass twice over the past week.

With a shake of his head to rouse himself from his thoughts, Sniper donned his hat again and set off down the hall for the mess to try and scrounge up something with an interesting mouthfeel. Hopefully the novelty of sensation would be enough to get Scout past the inability to taste anything but his own infection.

It was hot. On a good day, the New Mexico badlands were blistering to the native New Englander, but here, curled up in bed with a fever rolling in and out like the tide, the heat came in unbearable waves. The slightest draft, the barest caress of a breeze made him feel like he was freezing and brought on fresh cramps and joint pain. So instead he would sweat, bundled tightly in his blankets on his stiff, unyielding RED-issue bed. Even so he shivered, too cold, too hot simultaneously, and he craved more blankets as though wrapping himself in a cocoon of warmth would somehow solve anything. Maybe he just craved the pressure that it would provide, some comforting weight to envelop him and make him feel safe.

He wished Sniper would come back, curl up with him, wrap his arms around him and tell him he was going to be okay. He craved the familiar embrace of his lover, gangly limbs holding him close, lips pressing kisses onto the crown of his head. He wished dearly for Sniper to envelop him in himself, to make him feel like everything was going to be okay, like he wasn't dying.

Scout didn't think he was dying. He'd died enough times to know how that felt. But here, now, shivering and sweating under his scratchy covers, Scout felt like death regardless.

He'd lost track of time, no idea how much or little had passed, when he heard a soft clack at his door, a single-knuckle knock of courtesy before it was opened and Sniper slipped inside, closing it quietly behind him. The bushman wore a smile writ with trepidation, and held a paper bag in his hand.

"'ope I didn't wake you, love," he soothed, his voice as soft as he could manage in spite of its rough, gravelly tones. Scout didn't mind. He loved the sound of Sniper's voice when it was quiet; he found it almost unbearably sexy. It was really too bad he felt too much like shit to properly appreciate it.

Scout mumbled muzzily, words not quite congealing out of the jumble of syllables he'd wheezed out. He tried again, his eyes cracking open to look up at the gentle, worried face of his lover, "It's okay, I been sleepin' so much."

"That's a good thing," Sniper replied, steadying himself with one hand on the bed as he settled onto the floor next to it, crossing his legs and setting the bag down. "Rest's important for you."

Inching to the edge of the bed, Scout flopped an arm over to pet at Sniper's cheek, his fingers clumsily tracing the line of his jaw fondly. He wanted to give him a hug, a proper squeeze, but could barely keep his arm up enough to do this. "'m so tired 'a sleepin'."

"I know, but you need it."

"I'm lonely," Scout murmured, curling his legs up a little tighter against himself. "But if you sleep with me you're gonna get sick."

Sniper sighed. He hadn't slept in the same bed as Scout in over a week, and he wasn't ashamed to admit he was lonely too. They'd gotten so used to the comfort and safety of sleeping in one another's arms, of just being around one another so constantly, that this time apart—marked by Sniper only visiting for brief periods and trying not to make too much contact—practically felt like one of them was in prison. At this point he'd almost wished he hadn't made the effort not to get sick, so they could at least have been miserable together through most of it.

"I'm sorry," Sniper replied, unsure what else to say. He opened the bag in front of him, withdrawing a few folded Chinese food containers and a styrofoam bowl with a lid. "We gotta get you better sooner then."

"Whassat?"

"Couldn't find anythin' on base to cook that would be good enough. 'Least, nothin' I know 'ow to cook," Sniper chuckled. "So me and Pyro went on a run to town for some Chinese. Pyro says 'e used to get sinus infections all the time when 'e was a teenager. Real sickly kid. Lost 'is sense of taste all the time. 'e said somethin' crunchy-fried'll 'elp with the whole texture-for-flavour substitution thing, and that we 'ad the right idea."

Scout blinked and slowly pulled himself up onto his elbow, realizing for the first time that it was nearly night. Grey light filtered through the blinds, the golden rays of sunset long past, but the blue shadows of night yet to fully overtake the desert. He'd been out for a while. "You went all the way to town for me?"

Sniper smiled. "'course. You gotta eat," he said with a shrug of one shoulder. "If this is what can get you to eat, then it's well worth it, I'd say."

"Mick..." A wobbly smile crawled across Scout's lips, and he felt like the slightest thing would set him off crying. Sniper was so sweet, so kind, so doting, and he could never really figure out how to handle it. Scout had spent his entire life as an afterthought, the last one to get anything, even respect. And here, this man almost twice his age treated him like he was his world. Scout still couldn't really wrap his head around it, and it made his chest flutter. A soft laugh escaped him, and he shook his head to keep his eyes dry. Then he stilled, the shake leaving him dizzy, all of the mucus in his head sloshing and shifting in horrible ways. When he could bring himself to open his eyes again, he looked into Sniper's, and lost himself there for a long moment. "I love you," he fairly whimpered, reaching to pet at his face again.

Sniper caught Scout's hand and brought it to his lips, kissing each fingertip before pressing a final smooch to his palm. "Come on, you sappy wreck," he teased. "Let's get you fed, yeh?" Scout stared a long moment, expectant, until Sniper rejoined, "I love you too, Jer."

That satisfied him, and Scout finally brought himself up to a seated position, folding his legs under himself and tucking his blankets as flat as he could. "So what'd you get me, anyway?"

"Fried pork and cabbage potstickers with ginger sauce, and some fried wontons. Got some sweet and sour sauce to dip those into."

"So it's just all crunchy," Scout mused. He inhaled, hoping against hope that the aroma of hot pork, ginger, fry oil, anything really, would break through the stench of rot and mucus that filled his senses. He suppressed a soft sob at his failure to smell any of it, and tempered his expectations accordingly. Eating without taste was like fucking without pleasure, leaving him wholly unsatisfied and desperate for any of the sensory input he craved. But as he took hold of a wonton and bit into it, he took solace in the crunch and crispiness, textures giving him something to cling to as he dutifully performed the joyless task of eating something to fuel his recovery.

"How is it?" Sniper asked.

Scout sighed through his nose, "I can't taste anything. Still. But at least it feels different."

"That's something then. All I ask is you get something down, so we can get you healthy again."

"I just wanna feel better so you can hold me again. I miss you."

Sniper frowned and stood, walking around to the other side of the bed. He kicked off his boots and set his hat and sunglasses on the footlocker at the end of the bed, and sat behind Scout. He lay down, rolling to face his lover's back, and wrapped an arm around his waist as he ate. He placed a kiss on Scout's side, ignoring the chilly sweat that had collected on him.

"You're gonna get sick," Scout mumbled around a potsticker, ginger sauce running down his chin.

"I'll be fine. And you're not gonna get any better layin' 'ere depressed and lonely on top of not eatin'. If I gotta curl up with you to get your spirits up, so be it."

Scout smiled at that, his free hand coming down to pet through Sniper's hair. "Thanks, Mick."

"'s nothin," Sniper mumbled in reply, snuggling in against his lover. "Can I get one of those potstickers, though?"

#TF2 Fanfic #Team Fortress 2 #TF2 Speeding Bullet #TF2 Sniper #TF2 Scout #Lightspeed Requests

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