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#a stylish little guy!!
doodoodinklefart · 5 months
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i can teach you how to be just like me
just listen carefully
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shewhoeatssand · 7 months
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Tokyo Ghoul reference sheets
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mnetn · 1 month
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fredo 🎀
bon avant j'étais absolument fan de micheal et puis hop le virage a 180°, j'suis désolé son background est DÉCHIRANT (bon tout les corleone ont la vie rude mais fredo c'est pas pareil)
j'veux dire TOUTE la fratrie lui fait comprendre qu'il est con et que c'est un incapable (sometimes il est pas très futé, je l'accorde) pourtant je le trouve siiiii attachant, il n'est pas mauvais, son destin est littéralement un roman empire.
et puis bon J O H N C A Z A L E, la dernière fois on a parlé de ce goat (évidemment j'ai pas pu rester passive) (elles ont dit qu'il ressemblait à megamind 😔), now all my girls know my roman empire à propos de cet homme soooo, anyway i love him, quel talent, on my knees, chapeau bas.
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soupnwaffles · 7 months
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what if i said s2 edizzy w/ little!ed doodling on iz’s peg leg?
and he’s humming one of his shanties too, maybe.
and stede could possibly be there too, to wipe ed’s hands and pull ed’s hair up out of his face for him?
maybe?
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heich0e · 1 year
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liv I wanna dress better but idk where to start 🥹 help
i'm not kidding when i say look at what other ppl are wearing and just copy them if you like their style. could be irl friends or characters on tv or pics u see on pinterest/insta/etc. try n put together similar pieces you already own like a lil test drive. if u try it out and like it, maybe invest in some new pieces to further that kind of style and make it your own (i always encourage thrifting first if u can! it's cheaper and less of a risk if you decide you don't actually love it.) if you try it and DON'T like it for you, no harm no foul. try something else! but at least you gave it a shot!!
also.. weird rec but try a pair of wide leg trousers. they r kind of effortlessly stylish in a very easy way. i wear them all the time and always get SO MANY compliments on them, but ppl are always like "ugh i could never pull those off" like??? yes u could. just try?? <3
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dirt-str1der · 1 year
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Saejima belongs in the wilderness why are they making him wear suits and shoot people stop it stop it the tiger has broken out of prison noo nooo the tiger has willingly returned to jail
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notrightgrayson · 9 months
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Y'all are all talking about how terribly you treated your Kens. but my Kens were the main character. They were the ruler of a kingdom and became the prom king, they won the racecar races, they were on elaborate game shows winning women as prizes! I mean they were my self inserts basically and-oh......oh I should've figured out I was trans sooner. Shiiiiiit
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starpros-sunshine · 11 months
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The thing about Eichi and his 900$ Gucci loafers is that I am allowed to call them a little ugly but when other people do it I'm genuinely a little offended like. How dare you speak about his shoes like that I will have you know those are haute couture they are the peak of fashion and you wish you had what it takes to wear them those shoes look wonderful on him shush. And then I do a little pout. Like a toddler.
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fujianvenator · 1 year
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WHO WOULDVE FUCKING GUESSED THAT HIRING A PROFESSIONAL TAP AND BALLET DANCER FOR A DANCE CENTERED STAGE SHOW INSTEAD OF A RANDOM CELEBRITY FOR MARKETING AND ACTUALLY USING A CLICK TRACK ON THE SONG IN 13/8 WOULDVE YIELDED GOOD RESULTS? WHO COULDVE GUESSED HONESTLY. NOT ME!
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agentofthex · 1 year
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Newton in cutes outfits
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pahishylje · 10 months
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Confession time: I accidentally bullied a kid out of wearing socks in his sandals the other night after a few glasses of wine. I didn't mean to make him feel self conscious and now I feel guilty as hell.
It was just meant to be a playful little remark ;-;
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burymeinblack2022 · 1 year
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Why is gustaph from Belgium kinda.... You know 😶🤩💅😩
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lecsainz · 9 months
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sexy appeal
pairings: charles leclerc x girlfriend!reader
request: i swear glasses are the sluttiest thing a guy could wear could you write about the reader getting turned on by charles’ new glasses 🫣
authors note: alright, here's a little smut for u guys, hope u enjoy it! (and yeah, I totally have a crush on charles with those glasses, how can he not look hot?!)
✩. . . masterlist !
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In their cozy apartment in Monaco, Y/N couldn't help but feel a rush of excitement when she saw Charles Leclerc walk in wearing a pair of stylish glasses. She had always found him incredibly attractive, but there was something about him in glasses that drove her wild.
"Hey babe, how's your day been?" Charles asked, giving her a warm smile as he made his way over to her.
Y/N tried to hide her growing arousal, but her eyes couldn't help but linger on him. "It's been alright," she replied, trying to keep her voice steady.
Charles noticed her gaze and raised an eyebrow, a mischievous glint in his eyes. "You like the glasses, huh?" he teased, running a hand through his hair.
Y/N bit her lip, feeling a surge of heat between her legs. "Yeah, they look really good on you," she admitted, her cheeks flushing.
Charles chuckled, moving closer to her. "Well, in that case, maybe I should wear them more often," he said, his voice low and seductive.
Her heart skipped a beat as he leaned in, his lips brushing against hers in a tantalizing kiss. She melted into him, her hands sliding up his chest, feeling the warmth of his body against hers.
As the kiss deepened, Y/N couldn't help but let out a soft moan, the desire pooling in her core. She loved how Charles could make her feel with just a look or a touch, and now with the glasses, it was driving her wild.
He gently pushed her against the wall, his hands exploring her body with a passion that sent shivers down her spine. His lips trailed down her neck, leaving a trail of hot kisses that made her head spin.
Y/N's fingers tangled in Charles's hair as he deepened the kiss. She couldn't get enough of him, the taste and feel of his lips driving her wild.
He pulled away slightly, looking into her eyes with a smoldering gaze. "You have no idea what you do to me," he whispered huskily.
Y/N smirked, her confidence growing. "Oh, I think I have a pretty good idea."
She leaned in to kiss him again, but this time, her hands trailed down to the buttons of his shirt. Slowly, she undid each one, revealing his toned chest underneath.
Charles let out a low growl, his hands roaming over her body, sending shivers down her spine. Their clothes soon became a distant memory as they gave in to their desires, their bodies moving in perfect harmony.
The glasses remained on Charles's face throughout their intimate encounter, adding an extra layer of passion to the moment. Y/N couldn't tear her eyes away from him, feeling a surge of arousal with each glance.
As Charles trailed kisses down her body, Y/N couldn't help but feel a surge of excitement every time she glanced at his glasses. It was like they added a new level of intensity to their intimacy, making her feel even more connected to him.
He slid into her slowly, and Y/N gasped at the pleasure that shot through her. Their bodies moved together in a rhythm that was both passionate and tender, and Y/N lost herself in the pleasure he brought her.
Charles held her close, his hands gripping her hips as he thrust into her, the glasses still perched on his nose. Y/N couldn't tear her eyes away from him, feeling a wave of ecstasy building inside her.
"Charles, oh God," she moaned, her fingers digging into his shoulders.
He groaned in response, his movements becoming more urgent. Their bodies moved together in a dance of pleasure, and Y/N felt herself teetering on the edge.
With one final thrust, they both reached their climax, a wave of pleasure crashing over them. Charles collapsed beside her, both of them breathless and satisfied.
As they lay there, catching their breath, Y/N couldn't help but smile at the sight of Charles in his glasses, still looking incredibly sexy. She snuggled close to him, feeling completely content and fulfilled.
"Maybe you should wear glasses more often," she teased, running her fingers through his hair.
Charles chuckled, pulling her closer. "If it makes you this excited, then I definitely will," he said with a wink.
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queers-gambit · 4 months
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Opening Night and Open Hearts
prompt: opening night - a mother's fear, a locked walk-in freezer, confessions through a thick metal door, questioning what's deserved, and a proposal at The Bear after hours.
pairing: Carmen 'Carmy' Berzatto x female!reader
fandom masterlist: FX's The Bear
word count: 9.8k+
note: i think i give enough background for you guys to feel as if you don't need to read any other relating works, but i linked the fics that could be read as a small series (maybe?) also let author be lonely in peace
warnings: reader nicknamed Peach, established relationship, cursing, spoilers, fluff, angst, relationship angst, hurt and comfort, Carmy still (desperately) needs a nap, depiction of physical illness, boys are dumb and emotions are hard, reader-insert, depiction of toxic family, OC Carmy that grovels a lot, not edited!
⚠️ season two, episode ten spoilers
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not necessary to read, but other relating works with Peach:
Dinner at the Homesick Restaurant
God's Plan part two: Two to Tango
Neon Sticky Notes
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"Hi, yes, I can hear you - sorry about that, I was just making note of your reservation," you spoke smoothly into the phone, trying not to ogle your boyfriend wrapped in only a clean blue towel. "So, that's a party of four for Monsieur Claude Badeaux - all right, that's so lovely. I'm obligated to remind everyone that tonight's opening is a fine dining experience and the proper, corresponding dress code is being asked for. Are there any allergies I should make note of for your party?"
"Jean Paul has a tree nut allergy," you were told.
"All right, that's noted and highlighted: Jean Paul has a tree nut allergy. If there's anything else I could help you with?"
"Non," he chuckled. "I was surprised to see your invitation to this evening, though, mon cher. It's been so long, yes?"
"Well, it was my pleasure to extend the offer, we're ecstatic by your reservation," you chuckled. "We'll see you tonight, Monsieur, and should you need anything before then, you may call this number again."
You said your parting words in French, smiling at Carmy when you hung up and dropped your work phone. "Did I hear that correct?" Your lover asked with a broad grin, "Was that...?"
"Senior marketing advisor at The Washington Post?" You filled in for him. "Uh, yeah, I think it was, but you know me - I could be wrong."
"You invited someone from The Washington Post to the opening tonight?"
"Is that okay?" You asked, standing from the bed after making note in your datebook. "You look kinda - I don't know, shocked?"
"I-I am," he blinked at you, watching you gather his pristine clothing to hang on the closet door. "But in a good way - I can't believe you did this," he chuckled, wiping his mouth. "I mean - holy shit, Peaches."
You offered a toothy grin, "Figured I could pull a few of my own strings to help get the word out about your love-child."
This made Carmy snicker, "Hey, now. Tonight's important, don't make fun."
"I know," you nodded, leading him back into the bathroom to view your hair products. "Which is why I invited some important people and some not-so important people. I know this is serious, Carmy," you smiled at him, hoping to convey your support, "and I wanted to help in whatever way I could."
"You being there tonight is more than I could ask for," he chuckled, helping you onto the small bathroom counter. You squirted a bit of hair product in your hand, watching him flinch back a little, "Uh, I just don't want my hair greasy, Peach, you know? Not a good look and I'll sweat it out in the kitchen."
"I feel like I should be offended by you having no trust in me," you teased, insisting, "I know whatcha need, baby, lemme help."
Carmy smiled softly and held still, letting you run your hands through his curls to push everything back and away from his forehead in a stylish but manageable "do". There was a silent, serene moment as you and Carmy just existed together in a mundane space, his big, sad eyes watching your face as you worked. He wondered, "Think tonight's gonna be okay?"
"I think tonight's gonna be more than okay," you assured softly. "I think tonight's gonna go better than you're anticipating."
He sighed and planted his hands on either side of you, suddenly dropping his gaze. "I, uh... Sugar invited Mom t'tonight..."
"Yeah, I know."
"You know?"
"Sugar and I are still friends outside of us dating, Carmy," you smiled patiently, slowing your hands so you more toyed with his curls; pushing some strands behind his ears. "She needs someone as much as you do and I don't mind."
"But isn't that what Pete's for?"
"Yes, but you know, Pete's Pete."
Carmy snorted, "Yeah, yeah, good point."
"I don't know if she'll show up tonight, Bear, but whether she does or doesn't, it won't matter - you're not doing this for her. This is for you, Carmy, tonight's about The Bear opening - it's about you and this incredible, amazing thing you've done. Okay?" You caressed both his cheeks in your hands so he could only look at you directly. "If she shows, that's great," you whispered with a soft smile as your thumbs swept the apples of his cheeks, "and if she doesn't, it won't make tonight any less special. That, I can promise."
Carmy's forehead met yours, both pausing to breathe together; peace always a fleeting feeling as of late and being something you both capitalized on. You brought him in closer for an embrace, his face burying in your neck as your arms snaked around his to keep him as close as possible. His arms were tight around your waist, legs spread to accommodate him; both needing the feel of being close before that night's inevitable stressful event.
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"Wow, well, don't you look all pretty! Wow, Peach," Pete greeted you when you scurried to the table with your friend in tow. "Oh, hi there!"
"Pete, this is my best friend, Danielle, and Dani, this is Pete, Sugar's husband."
"Hi, it's really nice to meet you," your friend greeted, the two instantly chattering as they both just blew past their introductions to instantly compliment one another's clothes. You smirked, knowing they'd get along famously, and looked around the brand new, packed restaurant.
"Hey, there she is, my pretty girl," Richie greeted smoothly, approaching your standing form to slide his hand around your shoulders.
"Hi, Cousin," you beamed, offering him a hug in greeting. "The place looks fantastic - it's so - I mean - just wow, Richie," you complimented. "You guys did such an amazing job. I need to tell Fak, too, this is - you guys should be so proud, it looks incredible. Hardly can believe what it was before this."
"It really is something, huh?" He grinned. "Hey, Pete," he nodded.
"Hey, Richie."
"And you must be the famous, the fabulous Miss Danielle?"
"That's me," your friend grinned. "You're Richie, right? Carmy's cousin who's not really a cousin but is as good as blood?"
"Yes, ma'am, the very same," he nodded with pride. "We've some drinks coming your way in just a moment, but I need to borrow Peach for just one second."
"Why do they call her Peach?" Dani asked, but Richie was leading you away as Pete was heard answering,
"Oh, because she mastered this peach cobbler with Carmy's mom, Donna, and she started the nickname..."
"What's wrong?" You asked softly with a smile as to not give the illusion to others that you were worried. "What can I do to help?"
"No, no, nothing too bad, you were just requested by the Frenchie-French guy."
"Oh, right, that's right, yeah, I can help with that," you sighed gently, smiling as you approached the table. Greeting the two men and women was easy, Richie impressed by your connections in the professional world. Tonight, The Washington Post didn't just dine with them - no, it was also the director of social media for three luxury, designer brands: Jean-Paul.
Yes, the man was so elusive that he just went by Jean-Paul. Fuck a last name!
Either way, it impressed Richie to hear the introductions. The two women were executives in their own companies, names Richie didn't catch because he was busy taking note of the way Mr. Frenchie-French was basically eye fucking you in front of them all.
"Well," Richie smiled stiffly, "tonight's incredibly special for us. In fact, uh, Y/N's boyfriend is the owner and head chef."
"Really?" Frenchie-French perked his brows, shifting his gaze over to you. "You always had a soft spots for chefs, non? For those who were versed in the culinary arts?"
"Well, mostly I appreciated a man in the kitchen simply because I burn water and would probably unintentionally starve myself," you teased easily, deflecting the man's subtle dig. "I'm actually here with family tonight, so, please, ladies and gentlemen, enjoy tonight - I know I'm biased when I say the food is exceptional, but I look forward to your own opinions."
"We will talk later, mon cher, I am sure there will be plenty to discuss," the Frenchman promised, kissing the back of your hand as you let Richie lead you away by your free hand.
You released a long sigh, muttering, "Bring them a bottle of real champagne, please, Richie, I had a few bottles imported just for them. Listen closely," you lowered your voice as you both paused on the side of the dining room, "bring them a bowl of thin sliced strawberries sprinkled in sugar and pop the cork at their table - it's impressive for whatever reason."
Richie pecked your temple and gave you a tight squeeze, "I got it all covered, girly. You all right? Look like you're gonna be sick?"
"Just men being men grosses me out, I guess," you sighed with a small shrug. "He's always had a thing for me, I figured I'd use that to get him here tonight - Carmy's work speaks for itself, but maybe he'd be inclined to publish an article or two for us if I play nice."
Richie paused you a few feet from your table, complimenting, "I hope Carmy knows he doesn't deserve you, Peach."
"You said years ago neither of us did," you smirked gently. "Said I wasn't relationship material, right? Remember?"
"I was wrong," he nodded. "I even said y'all would never be serious, but..." He scoffed to himself, "I've never seen that boy so crazy about anyone in his life. You've really changed him, Peach. I don't really know how to thank you."
"You can start by buttering up those flirty Frenchmen," you teased, giving his cheek a peck.
"On it," he winked, parting from your side.
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Inside the kitchen some twenty minutes later, Richie approached Carmy, directing his attention, "Cousin?"
"Yo."
"Peach is on 17 with Pete."
"Okay."
"Go say hi."
"Yeah, eventually," Carmy nodded absently, never halting his work.
"Eventually?" Richie repeated with distain, something in his stomach twisting.
"Where the fuck is Josh!?" Carmy called into the kitchen, another chef echoing his concerns.
"Yo!" Richie barked as calmly as he could, "Just go say hi to your girl, Cousin."
"Yo, I'll go when I have a minute," Carmy deflected strongly. "I'm in the fuckin' shit, leave me the fuck alone."
"What? I'm saying - "
"I'll get there when I can get there!"
"I'm saying!"
"What?" Carmy barked.
"She's got important fucking people in that dining room, man," Richie scoffed, hands held up in defense. "Just for your ungrateful ass! Maybe the least you can do is go say fuckin' hi - even if you're fuckin' busy. She knows that, it'd be a nice gesture - or whatever fuckin' shit - I don't know! She's your girl!"
"Yeah! Exactly!" Carmy barked. "She's my fuckin' girl, she knows the fuckin' drill, I'll go say fuckin' hi when I get the fuckin' chance, Richie! Fuck's sake! Always tryna meddle and shit!"
"Jesus, fuck," Richie sighed, turning out of the kitchen with his hands waving Carmy off in defeat.
You were none the wiser, entertained by Pete and Dani's gabbing as Sugar was in-and-out, dealing with all the little things going wrong. These little things came to her in the form of notes left at the table subtly for her to go solve, you wanting to help but being shot down every time. Eventually, Carmy was approaching your table with a tray of food, shocking you slightly.
"Hey, Peach," He greeted softly, lowering the tray to balance on the table and lean over to kiss your cheek. "You look gorgeous, baby, wow," he complimented in a whisper, offering another quick kiss.
"Thank you, Chef," you smiled brightly, touching his forearm in a sign of affection. "What's all this you've got for us?"
He hummed and explained what he set on the table in front of you guys; eyes alight and cheeks flushed from the heat of the kitchen. He poured whatever sauce came with the main dish, smiling at Dani, nodding to Pete, then looking to you.
"I'll check on you later, all right, baby?" He mumbled, watching you nod. "I gotta get back," he whispered, "but thank you for being here, my pretty girl."
"No where else I'd rather be, Cream," you rushed, letting his lips find yours briefly.
"Stick around after, would you? When we close, just... Don't leave yet."
"Yes, Chef," you whispered against his lips with a grin. He gave one single more kiss before pulling away to stand upright.
"Enjoy," he bid the table before walking away.
"So, like," Dani trailed after making sure Carmy was out of earshot, "when's the wedding? 'Cause that might've been the cutest thing I've seen. I mean, opening night, he's cooking, but paused to come serve us? Serve you? And he's so soft with you, kissin' you, bein' all cute," she pouted dramatically. "I want a reason to wear a maid of honor dress, please."
"Hey, hey, chill on us. There's no wedding," you sighed with a small laugh, trying to play off how the subject made your stomach twist. "We haven't really talked about it, you know? No biggie."
"What?" She sputtered. "Wait, hang on. Y'all have been together - like - a stupid, ridiculous amount of time. The fuck you mean you haven't talked about it? What are y'all doing, just ignoring the elephant in the room?"
You shrugged lightly, "I don't know, we know if we ever got married, it'd be to each other, but that's really it. We know we want to be together, we know we want to marry each other, but there's been no serious conversation about it."
"Uh, does that sound right to you?" Dani asked Pete.
He shook his head as you all took dainty bites of food to savor the flavors (and save Sugar some). "When I knew with Natalie, I didn't hesitate."
"Well, Carmy isn't like you, Pete," you defended. "He's got a lot on his plate, too, you know?"
"You've said that since Mikey," Dani frowned, her voice quiet.
"With good reason, don't you think? Carmy's just - he's just going through a lot right now and it's a challenge, you know?"
"No, it's more like Carmy's got the emotional intelligence of a fucking teaspoon!"
"Hey," you snapped, "that's not his fault, he doesn't know much better, so watch your mouth."
"He does with you, like... He knows better when he's with you, when it comes to you, Peach," Pete offered softly. "Look, maybe Danielle has a point - it is a little weird. I mean, you guys have been together, what? Six, almost seven years? Creeping up on a decade of just dating - that's a long time. And didn't you guys do that weird little half-dating thing for two years before making it official? Don't you think that's enough time to know if you want to marry someone, and then, you know? Actually marry them? Or at least ask them?"
"Sure, maybe to other people, but Carmy and I have never been conventional, so, I don't see why we need to start now."
Danielle scoffed, "Look, God love Carmy and everything, but you're just wasting time now. He needs to either commit or let you find someone who can actually love you like you deserve."
"Oh, and Carmy doesn't?"
"Wasn't all that long ago that you two took a break 'cause he called you clingy - and some other unsavory terms," Danielle shrugged. "Doesn't really sound like someone who loves you unconditionally - the way you should be loved."
You sighed and sat back in your chair, "I appreciate the insight, but Carm and I are fine. Okay? We've got years under our belts, we don't want to fuck up what obviously works for us so chill out on the questions, okay? I don't have answers to them."
Danielle and Pete shared a look before the man got up to excuse himself to the restroom. You and Dani finished your meals before sipping your wine, waiting for Pete, but Dani sighed, "This lady's been staring in here for, like, ten minutes already. It's freezing, doesn't she want to come in?"
"Hmm? What're you - ?"
"This lady on the street," your friend pointed over her shoulder towards the window her back was now turned to.
When you peaked out, you gasped lightly when you saw Donna Berzatto smoking a cigarette. "Oh, shit!" You stood from your seat, rushing, "Okay, so, uh, yeah - just - can you just sit here for a second? I have to go handle that."
"Who is it?" Dani wondered earnestly.
"I got it, Peach," Pete told you, passing by the table swiftly with a hand patting your shoulder to keep you at your table.
"What the hell's happening?" Dani asked. "Who is that?"
"Nothing, no one, it's okay, I think that's someone we know, just, uh, hang on a second? We'll be right back."
"Sure," she nodded in confusion, watching you get from your seat and follow Pete out the door onto the blistering cold sidewalk.
"Hey, Mama Donna," you greeted happily, arms crossing over your chest to protect from the wind. "Have you been inside yet? We saved you a seat and all, but isn't this - just wow?" You grinned, trying to encourage her to say anything about her children's hard work.
"Oh, no, no, not you, too, Peach, why are you here?" She groaned lightly, looking upset and close to tears.
"I'm here 'cause of Carmy? I-It's opening night, yeah?" You offered in confusion. "Why? What's wrong, Mama D?" You worried, glancing at an emotional Pete.
"No, it's just, I can't come in, I can't, just no," she backed away, only now making you notice the way Pete cried. "I'm so sorry, Peach, honey, but I was never here. Okay? I-I'll call them later, I swear, I promise, I'll call them - but I-I-I wasn't here. Okay? You can't tell them I was here. I'm so sorry."
"Donna, don't do this," you begged, head shaking. "Don't, please. Just come in with Pete and I - just sit there for a bit. Just come in and see what your kids have done - Donna, it's so beautiful. You'd be so proud, but you should really see it for yourself - "
"I'm sorry, I'm so sorry, I can't, I'm sorry, I'm sorry, not tonight, no, I'm sorry, I can't," she deflected in a rambling mumble, turning and hustling down the sidewalk with her head shaking like a Etch-A-Sketch.
You rounded on Pete, "What the hell was that? Pete, what just happened?"
"Um, I-I don't - I didn't mean to."
"Pete? What didn't you mean?"
"She didn't tell her mom about the baby," he rushed, tears falling. "Nat didn't tell Donna, Peach, and I think I just did - I think I just fucked up and told her."
"Oh, no... No, Pete, you didn't."
"I didn't mean to! I swear it was an accident!"
"No, I know you didn't mean to, honey," you rushed, opening your arms to bring him in for a tight hug. "Oh, you poor boy, I'm sorry. I'm so sorry, Pete."
He sighed, "I'm sorry, too, Peach."
"For what?"
"That... We fell in love with Berzattos and this is our new normal now, right?" He sniffled.
You half-smiled, "Yeah, something like that. But it's okay. See, where Donna's afraid to give her love, neither of us are. Sugar and Carm deserve that from us, right? To be authentic and just love them?"
He nodded, "Yeah, you're right."
"And that's all we gotta do... Is love them, Pete."
"God knows where else they'd get it," he huffed, wiping his face. "Hey, um, I'll be in, in a second - I just need a minute alone, I think, in the cold."
"Take all the time you need," you agreed.
"We're not - we're not telling them about this, right?"
You sighed, "No, I don't think so - at least right now. It might hurt them more, you know? To know Donna was here, but never came in. That she ran away... Again. It'll hurt, they deserve to be happy about tonight."
Pete nodded rapidly, looking like he was gonna burst into tears. Instead of going back inside, you just moved to Pete's side and stood there; producing a cigarette, lighting it, offering Pete a drag that he turned down, and the both of you just standing silently; one smoking, one crying, both processing.
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"Wow, look at these gorgeous ladies! By far the baddest in the whole place! Yeah, man!" Fak teased as he approached you and Danielle after closing the The Bear officially. "What a privilege to have you both dine with us this evening! Ugh, truly an honor to see you both here," he praised comically, evening giving a small bow that his brother mimicked.
Your eyes rolled, "You're laying it on really thick when I already tipped you." He snickered with Theo. "Hey, seriously, though, tonight was incredible. I mean, it was all so beautiful, you should all be so proud."
"Oh, we are," Neil giggled, his brother hanging off his shoulders.
"Good," you teased. "Uh, is now an okay time to go back and see him? Kinda wanna offer my compliments to the chef directly, you know?"
"No," Fak answered instantly, "uh, well, probably not the best time."
"Yeah, probably not," Theodore echoed.
"I can sense you two ramping up to something," you sighed, "so, I'm gonna ask you skip all that and tell me what's wrong. Why can't I go see my boyfriend? He just had an incredibly successful opening night, I kinda wanna kiss him if you don't mind."
"Um, well, h-he didn't want you to worry, so, he said not t'tell you, but, uh... Yeah, no, Carmy's, like, locked in the walk-in freezer. Han Solo style."
"What?"
"Locked in the walk-in," Fak nodded rapidly, "yeah, no, the handle - like, the whole handle came off. He's locked in, Peach..."
"Oh, my fucking God," you breathed. "Are you saying he - he missed opening night? Neil!"
"Yeah, kinda... Well, sorta - I mean, technically, but - "
"Oh, Jesus," you breezed past them all.
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"Mmm-mmm, the fridge guy's name is Terry," Tina corrected Carmy, flinching a little when he slapped the other side of the metal door he was locked behind.
"See, th-tha-that's what I'm talking about!" Carmy raged. "I'm so fucking distracted, and for what? For fucking what? 'Cause of a girl?" He chuckled ruefully to himself.
"Nuh-uh, don't do that, Carmy," Tina scolded. "That's not no girl, that's your girl, that's Peach - you don't lash out at her, baby."
"Yo, maybe - maybe I'm just not built for this. Right? Maybe that's okay! Maybe that just is. She'd be better off, Tina... I'm just - I'm not built for this."
But what Carmy didn't hear was Sydney asking Tina to cover her at the front because she needed to step out the back, get some air; Tina accepting and telling Carm to hang on a moment. Something he missed. While Tina took Syd's spot, Syd rushed outside, and you slipped in the kitchen door; Carmy being surrounded by shitty ripped tape and an entire side full of the flowers he had brought in for tonight - for you. It was a haunting reminder; something suffocating.
When you got to the walk-in, you were prepared to call out for Carmy, but he started speaking from within, halting any word on your tongue.
"I wasn't here b-because I was looking a-a-at fucking engagement rings when the fridge guy fuckin' called," Carmy ranted, your heart stalling in your chest. "Right? Like, what the fuck was I thinking? Like I was gonna get married? Commit to this relationship? Be h-her fucking husband or some shit? Have a fucking wife? I'm a fucking - I'm a fuckin' psycho!" He laughed a little, the tears springing to your eyes as his words disarmed your heart and emotional dam. "That's why! That's why I'm good at what I do! That's how I operate! I am the best because I didn't have any of this fuckin' bullshit, right? I could - I could focus and I could concentrate and I had a routine and I - and I had fuckin' cell reception, and Peach and I just had our own routine! We didn't need this extra bullshit, and now..."
You just listened, leaning on the freezer's door, tears silently leaking down your cheeks as you had the horrendous realization that you were what now slowed Carmy down. You were what currently stood in his way, when this whole time, you thought you were helping; making things easier; supporting him. No... No, his words rattled your heart to accept that you were now the bane; the object of his ire. You and your relationship was what was wrong and was causing Carmy hurt and professional complications.
Something you never wanted to contribute towards. You both always said if this relationship got to be too hard, you'd walk away. Better to feel anger than resentment; and now, you knew you had to walk away else risk that resentment fester.
Carmy started up again, "I don't need to provide amusement or enjoyment, I don't need to be someone's 'to have and to hold'. I don't need to receive any amusement or enjoyment, nor for someone to have and hold me... And I'm completely fine with that. Because no amount of good is worth how terrible this fucking feels." You were ready to open your mouth, but he finished by nailing the final nail in the coffin of your relationship, "It's just a complete waste of fuckin' time - entertaining what I know I shouldn't. Being in this relationship, trying to give what I don't have, wasting everyone's time."
You took your chance, speaking through your tears, "I'm really sorry you feel that way, Carmen."
"Peach?" Carmy rasped from behind the door, sounding more alert than he had before. "Baby? Hey, hey, Peaches? That you? Peach - hey. Hey," he sounded desperate as you backed away from the door, a fist pounding into the metal, "hey, no, Y/N? Y/N!" The seriousness settled over you both, Carmen understanding you heard a lot more than ever intended and once those words are out there, there's no getting them back. "Y/N, baby? Hey, no, no, Y/N - listen to me - hey, no, no! I-I didn't know you were there, baby, okay? No, Y/N, please - tell me you're there now, let me explain." He paused. "Let me explain! Please! C'mon, baby, please, let me fucking explain - tell me you're still there! Y/N? Y/N!"
You sniffled and walked away, feeling smaller than you ever had in your life. You barely noticed when the kitchen door opened, not until a figured dressed in black stopped you. "Peach? Hey, hey," Richie halted you - taking note of the tears. "What's wrong? What happened? Are you okay - who fuckin' did it?"
You just stared at Richie for a long moment, opening your mouth twice before sighing and smiling sadly. "I never wanted to be what got in his way," you whispered sadly. "I'm sorry, Richie."
"Peaches, hey, what's - "
But you reached up to kiss his cheek, "Tonight was so beautiful, Cousin, and I'm so fucking proud of you all. Thank you for everything - not just tonight, Richie, but everything you do." You smiled again, whispering, "Take care of him. Okay? He'll need you."
"What're you talking about? What's going on? Where are you going? Hey, where are you going, Peach, please?"
"Have a good night, Richie, I love you," you whispered, leaving out the kitchen door as quickly as you could. "Hey," you sniffled, approaching Dani with the Fak Brothers, "can we go now, please?"
"Are you okay?" Dani worried in shock.
"I'd really like to go, Dani, please," you rushed, throwing your coat on and smiling at the Brothers as if your heart wasn't in pieces. "Thanks again for tonight, you guys, it was magical."
"Peach? Wait, hey, are you okay, baby? What just happened?" Neil worried, watching you snatch Dani's hand, but pause when screaming was heard from the kitchen. Everyone stared at the door, Neil muttering, "The fuck are they...?"
"Now, Dani, please," you whimpered to your friend, who wasted no time in escorting you out of The Bear. The moment you were outside, you burst into sobs, Dani grunting a little as she lead you down a side alley to lean you on a brick wall and beg you to breathe normally.
"What the hell just happened? Hey, honey, you need to breathe," she smoothed hair off your face - but it was like you were drowning in the air with the way you gasped and gaped and panted and whimpered and choked yourself.
"I-I-I-I think - I think w-we're done, I think we're done, I think - oh, fuck - I think we just broke up," you sobbed, hands on your knees. "Oh, my God, Dani," you whimpered, "I-I think - I think we're done, Danielle, oh, my fucking God. I-I heard things tonight that I just - I can't not know, anymore! He said - fuck! He was just so candid, he didn't know I was there so h-he was sayin' things I have t-to now confront - and I really didn't fucking want to! He just - he doesn't want to really marry me, D, and-and-and he was apparently looking a-a-a-at rings - fucking engagement rings! But then he said that w-was the issue - he missed the fridge guy's call 'cause he was looking at fucking rings for me and this is why he missed opening night - 'cause the fucking fridge broke! Oh, my God, Danielle, i-i-it's my fault, it's my fucking fault, he missed the most important night of his life and it's my fault - "
You were cut off by your stomach lurching, emptying your insides onto the pavement. The delicious appetizer, the tantalizing main course, Marcus' fresh baked bread that was delightfully soft on the inside yet baked crisp on the outside, and every bit of the sweetened dessert - all wasted on Chicago bricks.
"Okay, okay, ah, shit, just get it out, babe, there you go," Danielle held your hair, catching you in a suffocating hug once you were done puking. "I've got you, babe, I've got you. You're okay, no, hey, this isn't your fault. I've got you, come on. I think we need pints of ice cream and the saltiest pretzels we can find," she pushed some hair from your sticky forehead, pouting dramatically, "maybe some Pepto? Few Saltines and ginger ale? C'mon, we're going back to mine, there's a good girl," she coaxed you from the ground and away from the wall, "c'mon, you're stronger than this. There's my girl, here we go, just one foot in front of the other - together, with me, just like that."
You sobbed, not knowing that Sydney and her father stood listening just a few feet away behind a set of dumpsters.
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The moment the freezer's door was open and Carmy was free, he was sprinting around the kitchen to grab his coat, leave Neil in charge of closing, and racing out the door as the Fak Brothers yelled at him for hurting your feelings.
"Hey, hey, hey, Chef! Carmy, wait!" Sydney chased him outside.
"No time!"
"Wait! She went with her friend!"
Carmy came to a tripping halt, catching himself before he hit the pavement before whirling around to approach her, "What?"
"Her friend? She was with some girl tonight?"
"Yeah - yeah, yeah, yeah, uh, um, that's - yeah, that's Danielle," Carmy nodded. "Her best friend, yeah, they were here tonight, sitting with Pete and Sugar."
"Listen, Carmy, I heard them when they left the restaurant... Peach was really upset, like, more upset than I've ever heard, saying you two broke up? Or something? She cried so hard, Carm, she actually threw up, it sounded like she was in genuine distress. I-I didn't know if I should've intervened, but her friend was with her and helping."
"Shit - fuck - Goddamnit," he seethed. "All right, thank you - "
"I doubt they went to your place, I think I heard her friend saying they were going to her apartment."
"Yeah, yeah, yeah, great, I know where Dani lives, thanks Syd!" Carmy bid, sprinting in the other direction - never bothering with the public bus system, just running into the night. Sydney was left to sigh on the sidewalk, Neil and Theo joining her before Richie followed - all watching Carmy disappear down the sidewalk.
"He's a fucking idiot," Richie shook his head.
"What the hell even happened?" Syd asked.
"Carmy mouthed off in the walk-in, Peach heard it all," Richie supplied. "You know the dumbass was gonna propose tonight?"
"What?" Syd blinked in shock.
"Yeah," Neil tacked on, "we had a whole plan and everything. Candles, soft music, flowers - there's a bunch of flower bouquets in the walk-in."
"I'm sure that was hard for Carm to look at," Syd sympathized.
"Doesn't excuse whatever he said," Richie snapped. "She looked devastated."
"She cried so hard, she threw up in the alley," Syd frowned.
"How do you know?" Neil asked.
"I heard her," the other chef frowned. "My dad and I - we actually both heard her."
"Jesus fuck," Richie seethed.
"I mean... Should we still set up?" Theo wondered to his brother. "What if they kiss and make up, like always? Carmy might still wanna go through with the proposal, right? You know?"
"Maybe," Neil trailed, looking at Richie.
"I don't fucking know," he sighed, hands on his hips.
"She thinks they broke up, I imagine whatever she heard was pretty nasty," Sydney frowned. "Think they'll really make up tonight?"
"Let's hope," Richie sighed. "That fuckin' idiot isn't gonna find anyone better than Peach. Fuck," he looked around the city street. "All right, fuck it, fine, let's fucking set up. Not like the jackass deserves it, but let's do it for Peach."
Neil and his brother grinned at each other, turning to hustle back into The Bear - leaving Sydney and Richie on the street. No words were exchanged, just silent shakes of their heads before they followed the Faks with the intention to help set up for a proposal nobody even knew if would still happen.
The cold night burned Carmy's lungs, but it was nothing compared to the feeling of suffocation he felt earlier when listening to one of your voicemails while trapped.
Your words were sweet as pie, as they usually were; a voicemail left when you were still at work, but feeling so excited to see him that night that you just had to call him. You reminded him of the adoration and love you held for him, relaying how proud you felt - and that you knew Mikey would be, too. You were always doing that, reassuring Carmy; and maybe that's why he felt so freaked out, he wasn't used to it. Even after almost 7 years together, he just wasn't used to what he didn't know he deserved.
Because Carmy didn't think he deserved anything remotely close to love, understanding, compassion, patience, and / or reassurance.
He had sobbed out loud as he locked his phone, not having the heart to delete your message. He often never did - he liked listening to your voice on long, hard nights; it brought him peace when the world felt too loud. He also kept whatever little notes you left for him, even going as far as to get a few of your hand-drawn hearts tattooed on his forearm. One for each anniversary you've shared together. He realized he never wanted to be without you and all his doubts and fear was him projecting his own incompetence towards this relationship; so, he locked his phone, he didn't delete your message.
The moment the fridge door had been opened, Carmy was out of there, shot off like a Roman Candle - your words of love and understanding still ringing in his ears as he was freed. He needed to apologize, and he needed to apologize right fucking now.
The whole run to Danielle's apartment, Carmy wasn't sure what to say to you; mulling over different ideas in his head. He tried to plan his speech, but the only thing he could think of was how much he loved you and that the ring in his pocket weighed a hundred pounds.
He pounded at Danielle's door. Carmy paced slightly as he waited, knocking frantically, and surely waking the neighbors - but that didn't matter. All that mattered was talking to you, something he was desperate to accomplish. When the door opened, your friend offered a stale look and shook her head, "Nope."
"Dani, please," he halted the closing door, "it's all a misunderstanding, I swear to God, please, just - let me try to fix this. Please, okay? I-I need her - I fucking need her and I have to fix this 'cause she's all that matters, okay? So, let me talk to her - please. Please, Danielle!"
"Yeah? The only thing?"
"More than anyone, more than anything - more than The fucking Bear, I swear to fucking God, Danielle! Just - Just one chance, please. I-I don't know how it all got so fucked, but please, I have to try - "
"Whatever you said in that freezer, Carmen, fucking gutted her, you hear me?" Dani stood in her doorway protectively. "Should've had your ass frozen for the hurt you caused her. How the fuck do you intend on making this right? Huh? It's been almost a fucking decade, dude, if you're seriously still afraid of commitment, just fuck off and leave her alone. Let her walk away 'cause I promise, there's a line of dudes who would love to put a ring on her loyal-ass finger - "
"Please, let me fix this," Carmy begged, sounding close to tears. "I need her, Danielle, please."
"It's okay, D," a voice whispered from behind Danielle, and when she turned, you were revealed - jacket and purse in hand, looking completely exhausted, drained, and disheveled. "I'm just tired, Dani, but we have to talk about this... So, I'll go home with him and call you tomorrow, okay?"
"You sure?"
"It's a decent walk, gives us too much time to talk," you shrugged, refusing to meet Carmy's bloodshot eyes. "Thanks for tonight, sorry I was such a mess," you whispered, hugging your best friend since pre-school.
"Girl, don't you ever apologize to me. But hey, look, I don't know, you were just drowning in your tears, like, five minutes ago. Sure you really wanna go? You can stay here as long as you'd like, girl, fuck him."
"Better to work it out now than later, I guess," you whispered, letting her kiss your cheek and see you guys out.
"She calls me cryin', Carmen, I'll kick your ass," She threatened as you moved down the apartment's hall. You might've snickered just a little, but the amusement was wiped clean when you rounded the corner and came up to the elevators.
Now that it was just you two, it was dreadfully awkward.
"Baby - "
"Just - don't talk for right now, Carmen," you sighed, shaking your head. "I'm still digesting all you said."
He frowned when you walked onto the elevator without a single emotion on your face, following you, and when on the ground floor, moved out to head home. It was quiet, it was awkward; only the sounds of traffic filling the space between you as you walked.
"Listen," he started with a long sigh, "you came in at the worst time, Peach, heard some shit you shouldn't have that I-I didn't even mean. I was just," he paused, sighing, "really angry and frustrated, fucking running my mouth 'cause I didn't know what else to do."
"Sounded like I came in at the best time since you're not very forthcoming with emotions. So, hearing your confession put a lot in perspective for me, Carm."
"I was just angry, Peach," he frowned, hands deep in his pockets. "Felt like I was self sabotaging myself, I wasn't sure what else to feel. So, I just lashed out. I didn't mean it, but I just felt like being angry... So fucking angry, baby, I just - I didn't know what else to feel."
"I don't know if I can be with someone like that," you whispered. "Someone who throws our relationship under the bus when he's angry, someone who's first line of defense is apparently to blame the relationship he's been in for over half a decade with the same girl. Someone you've known your whole life..."
"Peach - "
"If it's that easy for you to just disregard us, I don't think we should continue this."
Carmy took a breath and reached out to pull you to a stop. He dug in his pocket for a moment, then showed you the black velvet jewelry box. "I was gonna propose tonight, when everyone was gone," he explained when you took the box to open gingerly. "I think because that was on my mind already, something I was more than nervous to actually do, you're right, it did become my first line of defense to blame us - not just you, baby, but us. You and me... Mostly me, though," he chuckled sadly. "You're this perfect, sweet angel who just loves me out loud when I don't deserve it, and I'm... I'm just me," he sighed, eyes reddening. "And I know I'm never gonna be enough for you, I think I started to get in my head about if you said no. How I missed the call from Terry about the fridge 'cause I was picking out an engagement ring that you didn't even want, that you rejected - rejected me; and in turn, I missed opening night, and it all just - it got to a boiling point. Look, Peach, it's never been a secret that I don't think I deserve you... But I wanted to be the man that could at least give you an honest try of my best. You've stuck by me the past seven years when you should've ran for the hills, and I knew I wanted us for life years ago - but everything was still so up in the air. So confusing. So fucked up. I figured, after opening tonight, if things went t'plan, I could propose - prove to you that we're on our feet and there weren't any rugs to be pulled."
"What if things didn't go to plan?" You whispered.
"We're kinda living it now," he admitted, hand rubbing the back of his neck. "But even if tonight was all a total failure, I know I might've still done it because it's you, Peach. It's you... I've known for years you're who I want, I just never knew how to do this - to move us forward. You're my first relationship, hopefully my only relationship, and I just didn't know how to advance us. I think when things got real for me, my insecurities crept in, and I just reacted - I didn't think."
"We always said when this wasn't healthy or when this wasn't good for us anymore, we'd walk away," you reminded. "That we'd rather be sad or angry about a breakup instead of letting resentment fester from being together."
"It's still good for me, Peach, we're still good," he whispered, stepping closer. "Is it still good for you? Or did I lose you completely tonight?"
"I don't know, Carmy, you've been lashing out a lot lately. At me specifically."
"And with The Bear now open, I-I should be okay. You know? Back to normal?"
You chuckled dryly, "I see, back to your high walls? Emotional constipation?"
"Then maybe not normal," he corrected, "because I just needed to get us here, to tonight, to opening, and then show you that it's over. Show you that part of our lives is over and we only have more adventures to look forward to. Not ones like this, though," he gestured up the street, your eyes cutting over and realizing you were back at The Bear.
"Do you really think you're a psycho?"
He chuckled, "After tonight? Yeah, pretty convinced... Plus, I, uh, I saw in the freezer the way we're labeling things - and got angry about it. Angry about the way we were tearing tape and labeling things. It was so fucking stupid, but I just - I felt so crazy. I still do, I still feel like my head doesn't make sense and I'm a bit, you know... Crazy."
You nodded slowly, "Then how can you promise me this kinda shit won't happen again?"
"I don't think I can, but I can make you the promise that I am working on it; trying to identify when I feel reactive, trying to calm that down. I'm trying, Peach, I really am - it's just... Taking a lot of time," he sighed sadly. "And I know you don't have any more left to give me."
"I've already given you this many years," you reminded softly, "I think I could spare another or two if it meant you getting your shit together, that you get better, stop feeling so crazy."
"I don't deserve anymore time - "
"I think you need to step back and reevaluate what it means to be deserving because you always say that. That you don't deserve something - even as simple as time. Everyone deserves time and opportunity to figure shit out, Carmy, and you're no exception."
He nodded, "I'm... Trying." He took a long, deep breath, "I'm, uh... Going to meetings, you know, like, uh, Al-Anon and whatever."
"That's good, they're there to help," you nodded, stepping closer to take his hands in yours after closing the ring box and stuffing it back in his pocket. "Now, I think you need to do something."
"Anything, Peach."
"Take my hand, bring me back to The Bear, and go about your plan."
He froze in shock, blinking at you in earnest, "You really mean that?"
"Do I look like I'm joking?"
"No, ma'am, and I think that scares me more."
"You'd rather break up? 'Cause at this point, Carm, we either move forward with this engagement and fucking work our shit out, or we break up. It's been almost a decade. It's your choice, you're the one who was saying he couldn't be someone's husband, that he didn't need to provide anyone nor have them provide you with anything. So, you tell me what you want to do - because all I know is that I love you, I want you for life, but not if you're going to resent me and regret moving our relationship forward. I don't need to get married, Carmy, but you can't keep jerking me around like you have been. So... Make a decision based on what you want - based on what's best for you. Not what's best for us, but put yourself first right now, Carmy, and make a decision about what you want."
With a nod of his head, Carmy cleared his throat and offered you his hand. When he felt you lock your fingers with his, he glanced up and down the street, then lead you across it. Up the sidewalk and to the front door of The illuminating Bear, he paused to produce his keys and then lead you inside.
The lights were dim, but a flip of the switch brightly lit up the newly constructed restaurant. He seemed nervous at your cool demeanor, watching you shed your coat and set your purse down; but his hand took yours again and lead you further into the place. He seemed nervous, but once in the kitchen, it was almost like Carmy's stress melted away.
"I was... I had this plan," he explained softly, leaning on one of the work stations with both hands in yours to keep you in front of him. "I have all these candles, right? Was gonna distract you in here," he looked around the fluorescent lighting, "while Richie, Fak, Tina, and the others set everything up. We'd hang in here after the place was closed down, you know, show you around the completed kitchen. And really casually, I'd ask if you were ready to go, so, we'd go out the front, and we'd walk right into the candlelight..."
"Yeah?" He nodded, thumbs running over your hands as he pushed off the counter. "Don't deviate from your plan now..."
Carmy smirked, "Wanna hear the boring kitchen stuff?"
"Of course, I do."
So, he lead you around in a tour of the kitchen; showing off the new office space that he invited you to take advantage of whenever you wanted. The sleek appliances were shown off, the vast fridges, freezers, new cutlery, state-of-the-art dishwashers. Everything, he showed you, knowing you helped him pick a lot of it out - it was still nice to see it all come together finally.
And then, slowly, he lead you out of the kitchen, but to your honest shock, the dining room was covered in lit candles and different bouquets of thick, gorgeous floral arrangements. "Oh, holy shit," you breathed, Carmy hiding his confusion much better than you.
You came to a slow halt in the middle of the room, the lights out and only leaving the candles to provide an ambiance. "I had this whole speech planned, too," Carmy told you softly. "Remind you of the day we met, how you saved me from those jackass bullies - remember?"
You smiled softly, emotions swirling in your chest, "First day of first grade, you had a Buzz Lightyear backpack and some kids were picking on you 'cause of it."
"And what did you do?"
You felt bashful remembering, but humored him by answering, "Pushed their faces in the mud at recess and made them apologize."
"You've been my best friend since that day," he nodded, bringing you in a few steps closer. "And when we got to high school, my feelings changed. You weren't just my best friend, but the girl I was madly in love with... Took me a couple years to buck up the courage to ask you out officially, though."
"Sure took your sweet time," you whispered with a smile, "but all good things to those who wait, right?"
"And I think you've waited long enough for a man to be who you deserve," he frowned. "All these years - it's been you at my side. You even - fuck - you even came over to Amsterdam for a bit because I was feeling overwhelmed and lonely. Sad, maybe even a little homesick. But you just - you just showed up like it was the most common thing in the world."
You chuckled through your tears, "Yeah, we had some good times on that boat, didn't we?"
He nodded with a softening smile, pushing hair from your face and behind your ear; pausing to hold your cheek carefully. "And when we came back stateside... You were still the only constant presence in my life. You were my family without blood, and I knew after that Christmas that you'd forever be my other half, and I'd spend my life conveying how grateful I am for you. I just - I never knew how to put it into words until now."
"What changed?"
"Realizing that I wanted to marry you years ago - and I should've. I know I shouldn't have drug my feet with us, delay our inevitable, because honestly? I couldn't see my life without you in it and I knew I needed you with me forever. Peach," he frowned, reaching for your other cheek, "we agreed when this wasn't healthy, we'd walk away - I remember that. But I need you to know, I'll never fucking regret you. I'll never resent you. You've been unwaveringly supportive and loving and... And I've been the luckiest man to experience it all. But now," he pushed himself a step closer so he was hovered over your lips, "I know that you deserve someone just as present in this relationship as you are. I knew once The Bear was done, I was done - I was done beating this bush around and wasting time. I knew what I needed to do because the idea of you not being in my life anymore terrifies me more than anything. I don't remember life without you, Peach, and I don't ever want to know what it's like. So," he cleared his throat, "here, in the restaurant I so desperately wanted to give up on so many times, but you always stopped me, I wanted to make this official. I wanted it to be here to show you that the past year of our turmoil - it's fucking over, Peach. We did it," he whispered, "and now, the next and only thing I want to focus on is us."
Carmy readjusted you both for a little bit of space, holding your left hand tightly as he lowered himself to a single knee; looking up at you with those big, wide, sad blue eyes that were growing redder by the passing second. The candlelight created a romantic atmosphere that cocooned you both in a warm embrace, the flowers around you projecting their floral scent.
"So, I need to ask you something real important, baby," he whispered, his throat bobbing to restrain his emotion that clawed up his throat, "because if I don't, I don't think I could breathe again." He cleared his throat, pulling the ring box from his pocket and opening it to present to you officially. "Y/F/N Y/M/N Y/L/N... My sweetest Peach, I've loved you almost my entire life, you're my best friend, my most loyal and sweetest confidant. You make me want to be a man better than I was yesterday and never before have I ever seriously considered marriage - until you. Now? Now, I can't get the idea out of my head, so, my sweet girl," he took another breath, the tears in his eyes swelling and slowly dripping down his cheeks as you slowly got on your knees in front of him, "I need to ask you... W-Would you do me the honor? Of being my wife?"
"Carmen."
He grinned at you, both with tears down your cheeks. "Will you marry me, Y/N? I can't see my life without you in it, so... I want this, I want you for life. Y/N, will you marry me?" He paused, adding a meek little, "Please?" at the end.
With a deep breath, you slowly reached for his cheeks in a soft caress to wipe his tears; both just staring at one another for a good few moments before a face-splitting grin nearly cracked your lips. "Yes," you finally answered, "yeah, yes, yes, of course, I'll marry you, Carmen, yes!"
"Oh, thank fuckin' God," he laughed, letting you lunge forward to knock him backward in a hug - missing the candles arranged in a small circle for you two to stand in. Carmy laughed loudly, happily, giving you a tight squeeze as he mused, "Had my heart beatin' outta my chest for a second there, Peach."
"Oh, please," you laughed, "after all this time, you really thought I'd say no?"
He shrugged meekly, "Thought my most recent fuck-ups would've added to any reasons you might have to say no."
"Oh, spare me - you're my best friend, Carmy, you know I couldn't ever say no to you. Not without puking in nervousness."
"Can we maybe not talk about puke when we just got engaged?"
You laughed and nodded, "Fine, fine, fine, then put the ring on, please."
You presented your left manicured hand, watching Carmy almost giddily removed the band from the box, took a slow, deep breath, and then, the most beautiful ring was being slid onto your finger in an official show of your engagement. Of your undying love. Of your commitment, promises, and future together.
"YEAH!" An array of varying cheers and hollers of support and excitement rang out around you; startling both you and Carmy to look up. Richie, Sydney, Tina, Neil, Theo, Pete, and Sugar all hung in the bathroom's alcove - watching with splitting grins and cheering in celebration.
There was no time to question them as Richie lead the charge over; helping you to your feet for a giant, bear hug before gushing over your engagement ring. Neil and Theo popped one of the authentic bottles of champagne, pouring different flutes for those present.
"Calm down," Natalie scolded Richie lightly, "and move out the way, I want to hug my engaged bestie!"
You squealed with Sugar when her arms wrapped around you tightly, Rich moving on to congratulate Carmy - who apologized for his angry words earlier and thanked them for still setting things up. Richie promised it was for you, not Carmy, but still hugged the little shit with a laugh - indicating he was just joking.
"Let me see!" Natalie grinned, examining the ring Carmy chose and squealing again. "Oh, my God! Oh, it's so pretty! Oh, shit - sisters!" She gasped, holding your hands tightly, "We're going to be sisters - like, officially!"
"Sisters in law, but yeah, cupcake," you beamed at her, wiping your tears and giggling. "I can't - this just doesn't feel real," you told her softly, looking the few feet over to see Carmy with the lads as Sydney stood with you and Sugar. "Him proposing? I genuinely thought it wouldn't happen," you tried to laugh your nerves off, looking at your ring and fiddling with it.
"Yeah, right," Sydney laughed. "I haven't been around that long and even I knew this was gonna happen."
"Oh, please, she's right," Natalie grinned when you went to retaliate, "he first started talking about how he wanted to marry you when he was, like, 15. This has been the longest thing coming."
"Thank you guys for helping," you whispered with a smile. "It's all so beautiful."
"Happy to help for a good cause," Syd smiled, complimenting your ring as Neil called for a toast. Everyone was given flutes of champagne, Carmy's arm wrapping around your waist as each friend gave their own little speech, congratulating you both before the alcohol was being drained.
"Uh, and where are you two going?" Sugar asked about an hour later with a small giggle when Carmy wrapped an arm around your neck after helping you into your coat again.
"Gotta celebrate alone with my fiancé," he smirked, "later, guys! Don't forget to lock up!"
"Carmen!" You scolded with a small laugh, gaping at him.
"What? They got this," Carmy chuckled. "Thanks, you guys, see you tomorrow!"
"We can help clean," you told him as he lead you out of the restaurant.
"Nah, we've got bigger plans," he smirked at you. "Got plenty t'celebrate, yeah? Ever fucked as fiancés before?"
"No - but I hear it's some crazy sex," you whispered, locking your arms around his waist to stay close. Neither of you cared about the bus at this hour, opting to walk home in the cold - not that you felt it. Your love burned brighter than the cold biting your skin.
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requesting rules and masterlist
The Bear masterlist
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hopeyblogs · 1 year
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hcs: them as boyfriends ⇢Masterlist
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Rowan as your shy nerd bf. He would grab your sleeve in crowds, peek his pretty head over crowds trying to see you, eyes lighting up when u walk in a room :) He would definitely do something mischievous to ppl who make fun of you like using his telekinesis to trip them or mess around with their stuff. He definitely draws shapes on your hand to keep him calm. craves headpats and kisses on forehead.He LOVESSS acts of service. Fixing his tie. yes pls. Fixing his glasses. Pls do. Combing his hair and tend to him during fencing. he's so adorable. He searches you for everything, he's sad. you. Happy? You're the source. He calls you baby/dear/love. classic bby <33
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Tyler as your golden retriever bf. Makes your drink just as you like it. Draws a heart on your latte. Knows your favourite treats :) He loves hearing you talk. Like "go on baby. I love hearing you talk" Would do anything to please you. Loves night dates, cuddling around in his house. He'll let you do anything to him. Very protective. Would never ever blame you. He doesn't like seeing you sad with him. Hugs hugs hugs. Bearhug you from behind with his tall stature, picks you up easily and spin you around. His wallpaper is a selfie of him and you. Puffing his chest and proudly shows you off. He loves being babied, cuddles pls, naps ontop of you, holds you close. He's all smiles with you. Calls you sweetie/sweetheart/cutie. Lil golden boy <3
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Ajax as your dumbass bf. When he's high, he's all giggle thinking and blabbers about you. His snakes loves you, they would pop up from his beanie and peck you while you guys are kissing. He takes you everywhere. With him, you're always at his side. He's so stylish, loves to match clothes with you. He begs for your help with homework, bribes and threaten with cuddles, kisses and hugs. HE DEFINITELY LOVES LEGOS, huge sucker for them, he'll spend hours on legos you got for him but he's a dumbass, he'll builds whatever on his mind. Convinces you to do dumb shit with him. Smacks your ass and just say "cute ass" he's definitely a sucker for physical touch but he's a little scared he'll stone you, reassure him pls :'( Calls you hun/bae/bro. Bimbo bf <3
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thisismeracing · 3 months
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Heartdresser | LH44
― Pairing: Lewis Hamilton x braider!reader ― Warning: mentions of a brother, social media au mixed with regular writing, tooth-rotting fluff, fem!reader (she/her); - 2.8k words + social media setting. ― Summary: When Lewis finds himself just a couple days away from a racing weekend and without his usual braids he desperately searches for suggestions of available hairdressers in the area. As the saying goes, love can come from the most unexpected places, and Lewis is about to discover that this is, in fact, true. (based on this request)
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Being a Formula One Driver had its perks, from obvious and big things such as traveling everywhere to not-so-obvious and small things like having your hair stylist travel to you when you needed them. After becoming an adult and famous, it took Lewis a couple of years to come to terms with his hair, how to style it, how to take care of it, and how to embrace the texture and volume. He felt finally whole when he reached that point, one where meaningless comments on the internet wouldn’t make him rethink his path, goals, and achievements. Of course, comments hurt, but being comfortable with yourself helped, and that was something Lewis learned. 
Now, his braids were part of him. The hairstyle being associated with his image in the blink of an eye. Something that made him feel handsome, and connected with his roots. Something that seemed to help other young black boys around, who started to see themselves as stylish and handsome too.
That’s the main reason why he was so frustrated when his braider called him to tell them they couldn’t make it to Las Vegas. And the thing with braids is that it's not only a style that connects you to your roots, and makes you feel comfortable, it is also a hair protection style. Though Lewis doesn’t tell people he has superstitions and somehow it is true, part of him feels like he races better when he’s feeling himself in all senses of the word. This means having his hair in the braids he’s been looking forward to for over two weeks is something important to him.
So in the heat of the moment, he decides to look for help on Twitter.
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“Hi, you must be Lewis,” you smile, extending your hands, and the man in front of you takes it in with a grin. 
“Hey, good afternoon,” his grip is still thigh yet soft on your hand. “Yeah, it’s me. Thank you for having me on such short notice.” He’s handsome and polite in all the ways one should be to be considered perfect, and you start to understand why your baby brother was drawn to admire his persona outside the tracks. 
You shake your head with a chuckle, “It was actually my day off, but I had no problem fitting you in since it meant Dee would get to meet you.”
“Oh- honesty is something I find hot,” he chuckles and adds a grin for good measure, all while looking straight into your eyes and you can’t help but laugh.
Add funny to the list of things Lewis Hamilton seems to be. 
“Who’s Dee, by the way?” 
“It’s Aiyden, my little brother. I call him Dee,” you explain before adding, “He’s finishing a Chemistry project with a few friends at school. He was tempted to skip but gave up after a pep talk on how school is important, and I would take forever doing your hair just so he could see you.” 
Lewis nods while you explain, and then he’s chuckling just like minutes ago. 
“I don’t mind waiting for him with you,” he winks.
You’re not sure if he’s being friendly, funny, or flirty, but any of these F words coming from the black guy in front of you are surely making your heart skip a beat. 
“You can sit here while I grab everything,” you point to a chair in front of a big mirror and Lewis does as said. 
“Your hair looks fire,” he comments, watching from the mirror while you go through the small saloon gathering the packs of hair and combs you would need. “Did you do it yourself?” 
“Thanks,” you stop just for a second, smiling when your eyes meet. “And yeah, I did it just last weekend.”
“You look even more stunning with this style,” and just like that he has you giggling again. “I mean it. I saw your profile picture and I was convinced you couldn’t get more beautiful, and then you opened that door with a smile and these amazing braids and I was like wow.” “You’re a funny one.”
“I’ve heard some women like their man funny, is that your case? If so, I’m ready to get into stand-up comedy.” 
You double with laughter, shaking your head and biting your lips to keep the funny noises inside.
“Same style you’ve sent me the picture?” Lewis nods. “Any addition or preference?” you ask, starting to section his hair, and he answers no while making himself comfortable on the chair.
And even though you joked about taking forever just so your brother would catch Lewis, you ended up really taking forever because the driver in front of you would joke around and give you flirty comments and you couldn’t help but stop to laugh. The style he wanted was fairly fast, and his curls weren’t that thick, but still, you two did a small snack break when he ordered from a vegan bakery downtown. He was a fun guy to talk to, you came to learn that pretty quickly, which only added to his face card, which certainly was never denied. 
It was one of the best sessions you’ve had in a long time.
You were just finishing the final touches, adding water to boil, and cutting the small strands coming off the braids, when the bell over the door rang, announcing your little brother’s arrival. He has an incredulous expression on his face watching his idol sitting on the chair of his sister’s salon. 
“Hey man, how was the chem’s project?” Lewis asks and Aiyden turns around to the door, doing a small victory dance and, probably, the most hideous expressions to conceal his eagerness and happiness. 
You and Lewis laugh.
“Omg, hi, Lewis!” He finally walks to you, shaking hands with Lewis. His eyes – big orbs gleaming with excitement. 
“Aren’t you gonna say hi to your sister, young man?” with your hands on your waist you furrow your brows in the direction of the curly-haired boy who smiles, engulfing your body in a big hug. You hug him back before tapping his back and fake complaining about how he was crushing you. 
Aiyden had just turned fifteen, but his love for sports seemed to help him defy your DNA and grow more than your family’s average size. He was almost reaching your height, and he sure was stronger than you, but he was still just your baby boy. 
“These new braids are lit, man! Told ya my sister would make it happen,” Ayiden, who still has one of his arms around your shoulders, tells Lewis with a proud smile.
The driver moves his head confidently checking his hair in the mirror, “She was a great braider, and even better company, to be honest.” 
Yn rolls her eyes playfully before going back to the water and mentioning for Ayiden to take a step back. She dips the ends of the braids into the water, waiting for a bit before taking them off and draping a towel around Lewis’ broad shoulders. 
“So, your sister mentioned a chem school project. How was it?” 
And just like that Ayiden and Lewis are talking non-stop while you tidy the salon, watching their interaction with a fond smile. The Brit was attentive to your brother, always ready to listen rather than speak, always engaging, and making Ayiden feel comfortable to share whatever he wanted to. 
He probably had no idea, but that was an easy way to get to your heart. Ayiden was your treasure, and the fact that Lewis was treating the boy as if he was his little treasure too only added to the list of things you found amazing about him.
“...right, Yn?” Dee asked and you snapped out of your daydream.
“What?”
“Lewis just invited us to the Vegas GP, I said we were going, right? Please, please, please,” he pleaded in front of you with his two hands together as if in prayer, and you bit the inside of your mouth.
“Sunday?” 
“No, the whole package, Friday, Saturday, and Sunday!” he explained excitedly.
“It will be fun, c’mon,” Lewis tried.
“You have school on Friday.” You reasoned, but Ayiden was quick to explain that Friday wouldn’t be until 6 pm. “You’re the one asking Kali to get my appointments from Saturday,” pointing a finger to your brother you accepted, knowing that your friend and coworker, had a space on Saturday for a hair or two and wouldn’t mind covering so your clients wouldn’t be hanging out to dry. Still, she would probably huff and yapp before accepting. That was something that Ayiden would now deal with though, so you were all good. 
Ayiden jumped up and down the same way he did when he was ten years old asking you to get him a new pair of soccer jerseys, and you accepted. It was endearing.
You talked for a few more minutes, Ayiden got his picture, and just like that Lewis was saying his farewells. This time he didn’t shake your hands, rather hugged you and you couldn’t help but breathe in his scent and relish his warmth.
“See you on Friday, guys,” he waved, showing off his perfect set of teeth. 
“See you, man!” 
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yourinstagram had to drive the kiddo to school today or else he would stay home choosing his weekend outfits lol (traffic is a bitch btw, so if you can avoid downtown, pls do!)
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youngdee why would you expose me like that
⤷ yourinstagram I'm your older sister, ofc I'm gonna act like a mom ❤️😘
lewishamilton nice fit, ayideen!
⤷ youngdee thank you, man! 😎
⤷ fan4490 OMG KJSDKGJSKG
charleslechair she looks so cute
⤷ charleslechair scratch that I just went through her pics
⤷ charleslechair she's hot
⤷ charleslechair and super talented
wolffmickey so its confirmed, she's the braider?
schumachinho *on my knees begging* pls, do my hair too, yn, pls pls 🧎🏾‍♀️🧎🏾‍♀️
yourfriend I spent an hour on traffic today in a road that usually takes me about ten minutes 🫠
yourfriend2 bruh, ayideen is getting bigger and bigger, I feel OLD 😭
Friday rolled around quickly and you got to watch the total amount of fifteen minutes of practice 1 before all hell broke. Ayiden explained everything to you along with the whole controversy going on with the LA Gran Prix, which you were just a tad aware of. Lewis wasn’t able to spend much time with you guys that much was expected, but whenever he found a few seconds he would pass by, ask if you guys were ok, if Dee was having fun if there was something he could do, and just overall being the goofy Lewis he was during the appointment. Ayiden seemed to find the flirtatious glances and lines funny, and so did you, except this time it felt a little more real because you were sure a few people around overheard some. 
It was an amazing night, you made friends with a couple of people from the crew, and Ayiden had the time of his life meeting a few other idols, and almost started hyperventilating when Hamilton told him he would take him to meet Charles Leclerc on Sunday. 
Saturday was even more of a rush, you almost didn’t see Lewis, but he texted before and after quali. So when Sunday came you were still trying to navigate the whole paddock thing, but a bit more comfortable about it. Aiyden was still acting as if it was his own version of Disney land and it was his first day discovering the adventure world. You were loving it for him, of course. 
“Nice outfit,” Lewis whispers right beside you, catching you off guard and making you jump in surprise. You were in a corner, just texting a friend, and checking your next few appointments while Ayiden went to meet Charles and you thought Lewis would be there until he came back, but it wasn’t the case.
“You’re sneaky,” you chuckled, straightening your instance and looking into his face only to notice he was already staring at you. 
“You look cute when you’re focused,” he winks, before adding, “and when you’re scared too.” 
“You look cute when you joke like this,” throwing back at him you didn’t expect for his brows to furrow in confusion. 
“You think I’m joking?” 
“Aren’t you?” 
Lewis giggles. He giggles and you can’t help but smile with the sound and the way his lips part while his eyes squint. “I’m not.”
“You’re not?!” 
“I think you’re pretty and smart, and talented. I was genuinely flirting with you,” his explanation makes your insides turn in giddiness, and as if it wasn’t enough Lewis smiles, eyes glued on yours before he asks: “Wanna go on a date with me?” 
“A date?” You repeat trying to let the idea sink. 
“A date?” This time it’s Ayiden’s voice and you turn alarmed, expecting to see a confused and jealous brother, only to find him with the biggest grin ever.
“Yeah, a date,” Lewis smiles briefly to Ayiden, before staring back at you, waiting for your answer.
You blink still unsure. Fair enough, he was hot, educated, smart, and he checked all the boxes, but that wasn’t any guarantee of a successful relationship, or fling, or whatever he had in mind. And also, his lifestyle wasn’t something you were used to. How would dating him work when he’s often traveling around to drive?
“C’mon, don’t overthink it, Yn.” Ayiden comes to help, standing beside Lewis and the Brit chuckles. “It’s THE SIR Lewis Hamilton,” he points, and this time Lewis laughs. 
You bit your lips, not helping but letting a smile escape. 
Lewis is in front of you, hands in his pockets, big brown eyes watching you, and the smallest smile gracing the corner of his plump lips. He looked great. And as much as you wanted to deny, there was a vibe going on. 
You take a deep breath, smirking at him, “Get yourself a podium and we’ll talk about a date later.”  
Ayiden’s eyes widened. 
“Did you forget how quali went?! It’s gonna be hell to get a podium, almost impossible,” your brother tries to reason, but Lewis shakes his head, extending his hand to which you clasp in yours.
“Deal,” the driver smiles. “I’ll get you a podium.”
Lewis squeezes Ayiden’s shoulder and winks at you before disappearing into the garage to get ready for the race.
“One more reason why he’s the goat, see? If I were you I would go on a date with him even if he didn’t get a podium.” 
You laugh, “For the few things I saw, he likes the challenge. Let me indulge him.” 
“You’re crazy.”
“And he’ll get a podium.” 
“It’s very unlikely, but I won’t deny the possibility. It’s Lewis after all.” Your brother leans on the wall beside you. “And it looks like he wants this date bad.” 
“What makes you think this?” 
“C’mon, he’s been flirting with you nonstop since the hair appointment.” 
“I genuinely thought he was joking.” 
“You can be so clueless sometimes,” your brother rolls his eyes playfully and you slap the back of his head. 
“Watch it, young man, I’m still the oldest.” 
And you were still right too, because hours later Lewis impressed everyone by getting third place. He kept everyone on the edge of their seats along with Charles who did a brilliant race, and just like that your brother was grinning devilishly your way because now you had a date with no one other than Lewis Hamilton who happened to walk into the garage just as you were handling a water bottle to Dee after he ran to watch the ceremony as if his life depended on it.
Lewis was smiling brightly at you, sweat mixed with champagne, but you couldn’t help but grin right back and lace your arms around him, taking him by surprise. 
“I’m all sweaty, sorry,” he whispers, his tattooed hand flatting on your bag and bringing your body closer. 
“It’s fine. Congrats on the race.” 
“Congrats on the race, man!” Ayiden hugs him too and Lewis smiles, eyes still trapped on you. When your brother lets him go and stays rooted in place looking from you to Lewis you trap the laugh inside, and roll your eyes fakely, pointing for the young boy to give you both some privacy.
“So, looks like I scored myself a date, huh?” 
You nod, taking a small step in his direction and trying to keep your hands from tracing all the small details on his face from this up close, “You sure did.” Your eyes were now on his lips, and Lewis grinned. 
“Can I ask you something?” 
“You already have a date, what else do you wanna ask me?” You’re teasing and he knows it because this time he’s the one to take a step in your direction. The tips of your shoes are touching, and you can hear the rustling outside, but it’s just you two in the corridor, and you hope it stays like this for just a little longer even though you knew he had an interview in a few minutes. His company and attention are something you enjoyed having.
“With how many dates do you find it ok to kiss someone?” His playful tone is there, but his expression makes your knees almost buck. “Can we count practice, quali, and the race as dates?” 
And just like that he has you laughing and grabbing his neck to close the distance and smash your lips in a very much-awaited kiss. 
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yoursername best date night ever 🤍
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