YOUR FAVE IS ANTI NATIVE: PARAMOUNT PICTURES

The network that runs Yellowstone and it's spinoffs thought it was appropriate to cheer on Robert De Niro's character in Killers of the Flower Moon as he killed off Native characters who are based on actual murdered Native people.

Lily Gladstone, who plays the lead actress in the film, was NOT amused by this.

"Are you still talking about Lindsay Ellis being racist against Natives?" Sure am. Ya'll certainly didn't have a lot to say about it at the time and apparently are in denial of it to this day.

I'm going ot have this blog go back to focusing specifically on Native American / FIrst Nations characters being killed or surviving and transfer all the conversations about Anti-Native Racism to this blog: @antinativefaves

Here's a fun little Project Sekai fact! Almost all of your faves have appropriated other cultures as costumes and some have even done blackface. If you're supporting this game and refusing to make a meaningful statement about it beyond "b-b-but i said it was bad! 🥺", you are fucking racist.

You're either anti-racist, or you're a pro-seka blog. Choose one. You can't be both.

Basically everything is problematic and actually I have criticised the cultural appropriation and racism present in the game multiple times, at no point have I refused to acknowledge it (and you’re not the first person to send an anon in). You can play the game and be anti-racist actually it’s called being critical of the media you consume and having social awareness, we’ve been over this. Everything is problematic you probably like problematic media too.

Yeah the game did revival my dream and that was fucking racist, the costumes are stereotypical and they didn’t research into any specifc native culture they just wanted to make something that would get them money. it’s not princess mononoke put the trained costumes next to each other, the trained costumes are heavily stylised to look "pretty and fashionable" and forego accuracy. I’m aware of that, I’ve said this before multiple times but you wouldn’t know that because you just randomly came here to send me this message.

Then there's also the kamikou sports fes set. Luka's qipao is very obviously altered for the sake of fanservice which is just so wrong, do not sexualise other cultures for money. Rui's I think is meant to be some sort of military hanfu? But quite stylised, which again for someone outside the original culture to stylise a traditional outfit just is a no-go because you will probably get things wrong. Mizuki's outfit seems to be based on Qi-lolita and there's a whole thing surrounding that about whether you should wear it if you aren't chinese.

and then there's the island panic cards which are both orientalist. yes, not just the boys, the girls too. the outfits aren't based on any specific culture and just mishmash different swana and south asian cultures and stereotypes together to make something that looks "exotic".

If you notice a recurring thing is that all of these are in some way wxs related, and wonder why that is, it’s because they’re the theatre unit. They wear costumes, these are just cultures being appropriated as stage outfits, because the devs don’t care they just want a quick bit of money.

all of these are horribly common in idol games and gacha games, not just project sekai, and it's important to recognise the problems rather than just blindly consuming it. If it makes money, devs will continue to include ca, recognise that.

and yeah puchiseka episode 6 happened at no point have i ever denied that. it should have never happened but it did and at the very least the fandom was able to rally together and get sega to take it down. even after they did that sega and clpl should still be held accountable for even letting it be released. while they didn't make the episode, that was entirely handled by an external company (who should also be held accountable for their actions - we're never getting a second season for a reason), sega still released it knowing full well the contents. it wasn't ganguro like people said it was extremely clearly based on a very racist and crude interpretation of african tribes, and for part of a joke no less. It was disgusting. And it’s not ganguro like how people defend it; ganguro is part of the gyaru subculture and the outfits in that episode were not that. there is no defence for what happened. at the very least, it was impressive that the fandom called out the episode and actually got staff to listen and learn. that doesn't happen in other games, and we managed to do it again with rmd. the fanbase is calling the game out and actually educating staff. It’s just critical consumption - fans of the media were able to recognise that the episode was racist and correctly called out management with enough of a voice to make staff correct their mistakes. They apologised, it’s not my apology to accept, and I still hold them accountable for the fact it even happened.

This probably all makes me sound like a white saviour, and I don’t want to speak over the people affected by this, but that’s what you wanted, isn’t it? You probably have me blocked already and never followed me in the first place, but if you really wanted to call out racism, then maybe you should’ve sent this to blogs that do turn a blind eye to the flaws in this game, not one that calls them out. Why just me? Was it because of the username, because you’re not the first person to make that quip. I know you won’t see this anon, but a word of advice. Most media is problematic one way or another, you can enjoy something but still be aware of and acknowledge its problems. Project sekai is not made with the intent of encouraging or funding harmful behaviour, yet it still includes some harmful content. Call it out, educate staff and tell them not to do it again, they listened once they can do it again.

Why must everything be against indigenous people? including The Barbie movie?there's a disgustingly racist joke about small pox in the movie.some people say it isn't a joke while others say it's an analogy

https://www.tumblr.com/antinativefaves/723813293691666432/your-fave-is-anti-native-barbie?source=share

This is really not surprising considering that Greta is a white feminist. I reblogged it and I will be sharing it on all my blogs.

mod ali

Lauren feel free not to post this. but I saw that anon and If this is in any way about the fact that people on anon on some blogs have admitted to harassing me anons quit that shit rn. Lauren and Riley would NEVER condone that behaviour. Ever. They're both the sweetest people I know.

I understand some people are mad this happened or want to be defensive about me but please, the indigenous community were hurt so much and they truly had no idea about her. Lauren isn't dismissing anything, neither is Riley. I love them both dearly.

Me being harassed is also not an excuse for anyone ever to start being anti-indigenous to anyone. I am not your excuse or your reason or whatever.

Everyone was just as blindsided as I was and I want nothing more than for the indigenous people on here to be sent love and understanding.

Sorry this isn't eloquent this is all going down while I'm super sick but I wanted to make sure people stop using me to be nasty to indigenous people on here.

Love you lauren <3

It doesn't need to be eloquent or anything besides heartfelt, which it was!!! I appreciate you so much and I love you so much and if there was literally any confusion from ANYONE that I don't love and support Dev, or feel horrible for ANY of the hurt that she's endured because of this whole thing, I need that to be cleared up.

Still so confused about those anons, because looking anywhere on my blog like where??? Did I ever allude that I didn't care or wasn't heartbroken over others, including non-natives, being hurt in all this? It's just blowing my mind. Some of my ABSOLUTE FAVES, including you!!!, are the people who were hurt. And for example, Rey??? One of my best friends at this point. Cat??? Same, I love them both so dearly. So for those clown anons to suggest that like actually ticked me off so bad...

Again, Dev, I'm so sorry for everything you went through. And I thank you, and others, literally so much for only speaking on the topic where it applied to you and giving us room to talk about the issues with the hurt she's done to the indigenous community.

I hope you and all my other friends harmed by her can heal through this <3 I'm here for all of you completely!!!

Artist Spotlight: John Gnorski

When we asked John Gnorski what on earth are EARTH BABIES, he took us on a subterranean journey to meet them. Or at least that's how it felt. Hearing John speak about his creative process certainly takes you all over, even into your subconsciousness, about which he has a lot to say. His art is full of strange landscapes, strange portraits, strange figures. Our current fave is one from his Clouds Roll By Like A Train In The Sky series not because of its great title, or because the clouds might actually be birds or blossoms, but because peeking through the print's ink is the grain of the woodblock, reminding us of the materiality that grounds all our work, no matter how wildly dreamt.

Studio AHEAD: John, your bio is mysteriously pithy: “Born in Alexandria, Virginia, living/ working in Point Reyes Station, CA.” What brought you to the other side of the country? 

John Gnorski: I moved from the East Coast more or less on a whim in 2007, picking up and leaving the Hudson Valley, which had been my home for 6 years at that point, and ending up in Portland, OR. Luckily it was still a pretty affordable town at the time so I was able to piece together a nice existence doing carpentry for a day job (which would indelibly inform my art practice) and making art and music every other waking hour. I found a great community, fell in love with the truly epic landscape of the West, and at some point the West Coast just became home. 

After many happy years up in Oregon, my partner Katie, who is a filmmaker, decided to get a master’s degree and that instigated our (truly auspicious) move to the Bay. One thing led to another, and we were lucky enough to find a house to rent in Pt. Reyes Station. Before long we found a great community out here and we hope to stay for as long as we can. 

I do miss the East sometimes, especially the sort of archetypal procession of seasons there with crisp autumn days, deep winters, and summer thunderstorms and lighting bugs. That said, I can’t imagine a more beautiful place to live than here on the Northern California coast. I’m grateful every day to be here and I often think to myself how did I even end up here in this incredible place? 

Studio AHEAD: Has Northern California come to influence the materiality of your work? 

John Gnorski: Absolutely. In a very literal sense I tend to use native wood in my work whenever I can, but the influence goes beyond the physical material to a particular sensibility that seems to be shared by a lot of Northern California artists across generations and styles. I find that, at least in my experience, there’s less concern out here about the whole (false) binary of art vs. craft than I experienced as a young artist on the East Coast (particularly in the vicinity of New York). 

I think that this attitude has, thankfully, changed quite a bit pretty much everywhere in the years since I moved west, but nevertheless California has a long history of breaking down established conventions and categories. Ceramics and wood sculpture, for instance, have been taken seriously out here for generations in a way that hasn’t historically been the case out east. 

This anti-hierarchical spirit famously permeates a lot of the culture out here. A nice example is the great DIY building tradition of the “hippies” and other folks who took to the rural areas of the coast, starting in the middle of the last century, and made truly beautiful, strange, and inspired homes out here that flout both architectural convention and often the laws of physics. I’ve had the pleasure of helping to restore some buildings like this up in Mendocino and, to bring this full circle, some of the little scraps and bits I’ve taken with me from those projects have become pieces of my own work, along with the lessons of those often anonymous artist/builders who made, intentionally or not, amazing sculpture-houses. 

There’s also a very strong Japanese influence on the aesthetics of so much California art/craft/design that’s found its way into my work. Would I be making these very Japanese/Noguchi-inspired lanterns if I hadn’t ended up here? I don’t know for sure but I’m guessing this place has informed them quite a bit. 

Studio AHEAD: Don't get Homan started on Noguchi. He's obsessed. What is your relation to abstraction? Many of your sculptures and drawings almost seem to form recognizable figures, but not quite. 

John Gnorski: With very few exceptions everything I make is representational even if it’s hard to decipher the image in the finished piece. I’m looking at a little watercolor painting right now that would almost certainly appear totally abstract to anyone but me, but I know that I made it in the Mojave desert and I can see the particular landscape that I was trying to depict—the horizon, the heat ripples, little constellations of scrubby desert plants—though it’s basically reduced to visual symbols. 

It’s not necessarily a formal decision I’ve made to avoid pure abstraction, it’s more of a narrative one. Having concrete subject matter is an important starting point for me, one method of avoiding the potentially paralyzing experience of confronting the blank page. So even if the finished picture or object ends up miles away from where it began, I still start by saying to myself, for instance: I’m going to draw a lizard sunning itself on a stump or, as in one of the pictures I’m working on now, I’m going to draw a bather in Tomales Bay stooping down to look at a bat ray. One might end up a pretty faithful manifestation of the concept while another might go through the ringer of some process and turn out as a loopy line drawing that barely hints at its source material. 

I sometimes do the same thing when I write songs, coming up with a title first and then writing into that. The two even intersect as in my continuing series of cloud pictures all of which are titled “Clouds Roll By Like A Train In The Sky” which is also the name of a song I wrote. Without the title those pictures read as geometric abstraction, but with the title they become clouds. Context is so important! 

Studio AHEAD: Those cloud pictures, and also your Rorschach-like quarantine notebooks/bird and butterfly prints, give room to the subconscious. How do you get into that mental space when creating that allows for the subconscious to take over? 

John Gnorski: Allowing room for the subconscious is really important to me because at the end of the day it’s very often the accidental/unintentional things that really resonate with me. To clarify, when I say subconscious in this context what I’m really talking about is allowing forces outside of my control to work in the picture/object. I try to maintain a decent level of competence when it comes to the basics of art-making, but I also try to use whatever “technique” I’ve developed to allow chance and accident to do their wonderful work. I know that nothing I could map out perfectly from start to finish will be nearly as interesting as something that transforms in ways I never could have anticipated through the process of the making. 

This sensibility is very visibly present in the Rorschach-style pieces and a lot of my sketchbooks and works on paper, but it’s there in less obvious ways in all of my work. The lanterns, for instance, might appear as though each little bit of joinery was carefully plotted out, but in reality they are built based on pretty simple line drawings and constructed in an organic manner. I’ll have a basic shape I want to achieve, but the way everything is put together is done on the fly. Sometimes a connection might become redundant structurally as a piece grows, but I’ll keep it in there as a remnant of the process. All the little false steps and unintentional gestures become a part of the piece and give it a complexity I wouldn’t have achieved if I’d set out with a dialed-in plan and done things in the most elegant and minimal way possible. 

The same is true of the ink on paper pieces which begin life as charcoal drawings and allow chance to seep in throughout the process. I rub the drawings onto plywood “plates” which transfers them in an imperfect but legible manner. I’m also using multiple plates and pieces of paper to allow for misalignments, and the plates themselves are of a type of plywood that tends to have an active grain that sometimes splinters or “runs”—interrupting the carved line in often surprising ways. I hand print the plates, which produces unexpected textures, and then go back into the image with more ink or sometimes collage or pastel. So in the end what began as a pretty clear and maybe even graceful line drawing becomes, through the welcoming-in of chance, something a bit more nuanced and awkward, full of special little moments on its physical surface that come out of that totally not conscious place of process. 

Studio AHEAD: Tell us about EARTH BABIES, your collaboration with Kate Bernstein. We are particularly interested in how collaboration impacts the creative process—we have many ideas about this at Studio AHEAD and those ideas are constantly evolving. Do you find it easier to work alone or with a partner? 

John Gnorski: EARTH BABIES is the conceptual tent that shelters all the collaborative work that Katie and I do together. It started as a music/installation performance at an amazing event called Spaceness that friends of ours organized for 5 years on the coast of Washington at a place called the Sou’wester. 

Spaceness was a very free-form community art-making event that revolved around the concept of the unknown, and often featured work relating to outer space or unexplored worlds. It was held annually in early spring—the very darkest and dreariest time of the year in the Pacific Northwest—and it featured music, dance, video, radio, you name it. Folks would work for months on their contributions, and it was so beautiful: community coming together to make their own entertainment and help each other through dark days. For me, this is the best case scenario for art-making. I like to think of it as subsistence art—art for fun and joy and also for survival. It honestly makes me tear up thinking about it, and I often cried during the performances there. It just moves me so much to see what people can make with little to no budget out of the simplest materials like cardboard, scrap wood, clip lights, fabric, words: whole worlds that can really put you under a spell, transport you, communicate a message, and make time and space for our imaginations to nourish one another. 

Anyway (and forgive me, this is going to get maybe a little esoteric) Katie and I, inspired by a trip to Ghost Ranch in New Mexico, came up with this idea of a whole culture of beings living deep under the surface of our Earth called “Earth Babies.” We first wrote and recorded songs based on this imaginary world, and over the years we made various installations: the “Healing Machine” which was a sound bath in a hand-built A-frame in the woods and the “Hopler Archive,” a fictional natural history museum. 

At this point, EARTH BABIES is the name we use whenever we want to make something creative without the burden of our “actual” identities getting in the way. It’s our shared alter ego that allows for maximum creative expression. 

As for collaboration generally, as much as I love spending time alone in my studio, my ideal art making ratio would be 25% solitary practice, and 75% collaboration. I love the energy of working with other artists, performers, thinkers, etc., and I think that collaboration leads to amazing things no one ever could have come up with on their own. I also think that community events like DIY music shows, theater, potlucks and ephemeral art exhibits in informal spaces are the most heartfelt and wonderful forms of art —purely collaborative and collectively authored. Again, it’s that idea of “subsistence art”. If none of us had to worry about selling our work I think there would naturally be a lot less emphasis on individual style and a lot less concern about authorship. Maybe collaboration would be the new norm and we could all contribute a verse to the big song we sing to sustain ourselves. 

Studio AHEAD: What's your favorite music to listen to while making art? You are also a DJ and musician.

John Gnorski: Katie and I host a radio show on West Marin’s community radio station KWMR every other Sunday morning, which has really made us feel connected to the community out here. 

I listen to a huge variety of music in my studio from atmospheric/ambient music like Brian Eno and Hiroshi Yoshimura to soul to Neil Young to Terry Riley to Alice Coltrane to Lucinda Williams. I’ll often just rely on my cassette library to take a break from the digital realm, which features a lot of mixtapes from Mississippi Records, my favorite record store/label. But if I had to choose only one thing to listen to while making art it would be Ornette Coleman. I’ve listened to a collection of his recordings called Beauty Is A Rare Thing many thousands of times over the years in every studio, basement, garage, and shed I’ve worked in. His music has every color and emotion and gesture in it, and it radiates compassion and energy and love. It’s also difficult at times and can go from soothing to jarring pretty quickly, much like life. When I listen to a song like “I Heard It Over The Radio” I hear everything from voices harmonizing singing a folk song to animals making raucous calls to wind in the trees and rattling subway cars. 

Studio AHEAD: What can you do in music that you can’t do in the plastic arts? And vice versa? 

John Gnorski: For me the boundaries are pretty porous. As I alluded to earlier with the titling of my work, there’s a lot of crossover and dialogue between disciplines in my practice. It’s easier for me to come up with analogies. A skittering, hesitant line in a drawing conveys something similar to a thin, airy flute or a tentative phrase on a piano. Take a lyric like this one by Leonard Cohen: 

Nancy was alone

looking at the late, late show

through a semi-precious stone. 

It conjures all kinds of atmospheres and emotional states like a Rothko or an Alice Neel portrait. Whenever I hear Alice Coltrane play the harp I think of someone painting with absolutely every color on their palette. 

Music, however—live music—does have the wonderful quality of being ephemeral that most plastic arts don’t possess. It allows you to really inhabit the moment if you choose to. As a performer you’re also able to collaborate with an audience in a way that’s much harder to do with visual art. If you can engage an audience, or are part of an engaged audience, it can really make the experience special, with everyone kind of rooting for the performers and contributing their attention and energy to make the whole experience really lovely. 

Then I suppose there are some stories that can be more eloquently told in pictures or gestures than in sound. Light can be captured really evocatively in a drawing or a painting and used to make form in the realm of sculpture. There are some feelings you can only get, some ideas that can only be conveyed, when you’re in the presence of a physical thing. 

Studio AHEAD: I want to end on the very first photo posted on your Instagram. It’s a poster that says: “Now is the time to do your life’s work.” How do you or how do you try to live this mantra? 

John Gnorski: I made this picture as a kind of personal affirmation to hang on my studio wall many years ago. A lot of people who came through commented on it and it seemed like most everyone appreciated the reminder. 

My idea of my “life’s work” changes all the time, but the constant is a commitment to making things that I hope will tell a story or convey a feeling clearly and with heart. At times it can seem like art is some kind of luxury or commodity, but then I remember how it has truly illuminated and influenced and given hope and shape to my life and the lives of a lot of other people over the entire course of human existence. I think that being an artist is as noble a vocation as any, and more helpful to humanity than a lot of things I could be doing with my time. 

I’m in the fortunate position of being able to primarily make a living by making art and other art-adjacent objects these days, but in the recent past when I would be laboring away at a carpentry gig, I would think of that image and that mantra and remember that I had some kind of calling beyond the job that paid the bills—a “life’s work” that couldn’t be defined by an hourly rate—and that the artist work deserved and demanded my commitment. I still believe that if I show up for the muse or universe or whatever you want to call it everyday, ready and willing to work, that I’ll be able to somehow keep doing this as my life’s work and hopefully make things that help other people see life or hear it or survive and take joy in it. 

Studio AHEAD: We love that. We always start with asking our clients how they live. It's so important. Can you give us three creative people/places/cultural forces based in Northern California that we should take note of?

John Gnorski: Cole Pulice is a musician/composer living in the East Bay whose music often keeps me company in the studio. We also listen to a piece of theirs almost every day on the short drive from our house to the trail that we walk to check on the animal neighbors and greet the day. 

Bolinas/Pt.Reyes/Inverness DIY art/music scene This is an acknowledgement of the type of creative community vitality that to me is the heart of sustaining art-making—artists, musicians, writers—we can also get specific and talk about it in terms of two spaces where most of this stuff takes place: the Gospel Flat Farm Stand and the hardware store in Bolinas. Both are DIY spaces of the highest caliber that provide the setting and the energy for art to happen. 

Ido Yoshimoto. I know that everyone reading this probably already knows Ido’s work [if not, we interviewed him here —SA] but I feel compelled to shout him out because he so generously invited me into the community here when we landed a few years back. He’s also shared knowledge and food and time. The people who make their lives here and share their talents and have profound respect for the land are the soul of this place, and Ido is one of those people.

Photos by Ekaterina Izmestieva

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survey #011

“... so don’t you die today; no one could take your place over”

Do you know anyone that has a black belt in karate? Maybe, but not that I'm aware of. Would you rather take the elevator, escalator, or stairs? Escalator. I have a mild phobia of elevators and don't like the feeling in my stomach when you start to move on them, and I physically CANNOT climb but a very small number of steps in a stairway before my knees have completely given up. I would take THE sketchiest elevator over a decently-sized (by *my* standards) staircase. So basically, elevators are easiest for me. Do any lights stay on while you sleep? My snake's light does. Ugh, I have GOT to replace that lamp, considering red light is improper for her. I got ill-informed advice when I got her. Like it's not going to do her harm, it's just not optimal, which is what I want to offer my pets. It's just the ceramic heat emitter I got for her wasn't a high enough wattage for her terrarium, so I went back to the old light so she didn't freeze. If you have a notepad in your phone, what do you use it for the most? Oh GOD, I keep a lot in there. Just some include my dream tarantulas and ball pythons (plus ideal names), most desired pets as a whole (also with names lmao), drawing ideas, tattoo concepts, gift ideas for Girt, etc. Who is the last child that you took a photo with? Emerson, I believe. It was one of those miracle days she wanted to sit with me. How often do you wear hats? Never. Would you ever get a nature tattoo? Plan on many, dude. Will you be moving soon? Ugh, Mom and I both wish, but it's unlikely. Have you ever had a crush on someone of the same gender? Yup. Is there an artist or group that you didn’t used to like but has grown on you? With In This Moment, I initially wasn't a fan of Maria's voice, and now here they are up in the faves, haha. Have you ever cooked a meal for a large group of people? Nah. Do you enjoy being outside in the rain? No, I don't like getting wet. Who has the best hair that you know? *shrug* Have you ever been to an aquarium? Yup, at least one multiple times, and quite frankly it's a pretty shitty and dull aquarium, lol. I mean as an experience it's still cool, of course it is, but in the grand scheme of 'em all, this one is very underwhelming. Oh, and I went to SeaWorld (never do it) as a kid, and ig that's really just a big aquarium. Are you currently happy? "Happy" isn't the right word, no. I'm not sad, but not that, either. Share some lyrics to the last song you heard. Did a quick scan and it's only really fun in German, haha; the lines translate to "we only live once / we love life / we love love" which is nice and positive and all, but it's cool in its native tongue because "love" ("Liebe") and "life" ("Leben") can be pronounced very similarly or identically in certain sentence structures so it's just interesting to hear in a flow. What’s a TV show you’ve gotten into recently? Oh god, Mom likes this show with Guy Fieri called Diners, Drive-thrus, and Dives aND IT'S REALLY INTERESTING because he's basically checking out these totally random and obscure but very successful restaurants and Girt and I have developed a problem of watching it for entirely too long lmao Have you ever or are you on any type of anti-depressant? I've been on them for half my life and am now. Donuts or muffins? Donuts. What’s something you’ve been thinking about? A lot about the future and what I want. Do you or anyone you know have asthma? My mother does, and her mother did. Never gonna forget a childhood birthday party where Mom had to be taken to the ER for an attack. God that was terrifying. When did you last pump gas? I myself have never done it, oops. God I would be helpless on my own. Do you have a lazy eye? *I* think I look like I do when I smile, but no one's pointed it out before, so... Do you enjoy windy days? NO. Wind stresses me the fuck out because even on a crystal clear day, my brain connects it to tornadoes. I don't like the feeling of it, either. A breeze, cool. Wind, no. Do you experience secondhand embarrassment? Schadenfreude is a VERY real emotion, like I experience it painfully. ANYONE'S embarrassment makes me want to puke like I'm no joking, it makes me so fucking uncomfortable. What’s something that makes you feel young? Well, my insane ignorance regarding the ways of being an adult makes me feel like a child, and not at all in a good way. What makes you feel confident? Nothing, if I'm being honest. Do you have a flower bed or flowers planted around your place of residence? No, but there are some small bushes. Who is someone you find to be pretty? Oh JESUS, who to pick. You know what we goin' with Richard Kruspe as tribute to my fucking Tumblr reblogging meltdown with that man last night, get a fucking permit for that face sir What’s the heaviest weight you’ve ever lifted? Oh jeez, I don't know. Absolutely not a lot. I've always had weak upper-body strength, even when I was fit. Have you ever sat under a bridge? Yep, many a time since they're nice fishing spots. What is something you want? Since I'm consistently losing weight now, it's built up this momentum of just wishing it was all gone like, NOW NOW NOW when I know it's going to take time. To be entirely honest I think I'm already losing too fast anyway. Does your town have a lot of graffiti? It depends on what part of town you go to. In the sketchy area Hurricane Floyd rawdogged, even some residential houses are sprayed. The abandoned buildings are painted. Downtown where there's a lot of action, there's obviously not as much because you WILL be seen doing it, and there's already enough of a cop presence with the crime rate. Do you like mozzarella sticks? I actually don't, not into that kind of cheese. I mean like, I can eat some of it, but I won't be really enjoying it. Have you ever stepped on glass barefoot? AHHHHHHHHHHH not that I remember, but I once witnessed Colleen drop something and a shard jab up into her foot. It was actually extremely weird, my reaction: I felt somewhat like fainting, while blood and stuff doesn't even bother me. I guess it was just knowing my best friend got glass in her and me not knowing how deep yet. It was just a minor cut. What’s your opinion on The Beatles? I honestly am not and have never been a big fan. I never seek them out. The only song off the top of my head that I thoroughly enjoy is "Hey, Jude." Do you think it’s possible to fall in love with someone online? I wouldn't doubt it. Do you ever pluck your eyebrows? Not anymore, no. What is a TV show that you find annoying? The fact Teen Mom ever existed and still exists annoys the fuck out of me because I do NOT care what your intentions are, you're glorifying and monetizing an insanely difficult and unhealthy ordeal. Have you ever been scared of something you’ve seen on the internet? HAHA oh my god what was this stupid site I for some dumb reason knew as a kid... I'm quite certain it doesn't exist anymore, I think I even checked LONG ago, but something like "Black Sheep" or so? Anyway it had some I'm-trying-way-too-hard-too-be-scary videos on it and Mom eventually blocked the site because Nicole and I got scared laksjdflkajdfsljlkajklwje jesus take the WHEEL Do you share any of the same favorite bands as your parents/guardian? I sure do! It's funny, this is Mom's favorites list: 1.) Metallica, 2.) Ozzy Osbourne, and I'm her inverse, haha. She also enjoys most of my other faves, and I also am fond of Dad's #1, Van Halen. Do you or anyone you know want to run for any political office? No. Do you have any alcohol in your house? I feel like there's a bottle of something that's been in the fridge forever. Would you want to know if you were adopted? Are you adopted? I would absolutely want to know, but I'm not adopted. Is there a tv family that reminds you of yours? Possibly, idk. What was your parents’ opinion on same-sex relationships? Mom, full support. I don't know about my dad with certainty, but he probably is "whatever, weird, but ain't about me" regarding it. At least, I can easily imagine that just given his general outlook on life. His wife is homophobic, however, so I have my sad doubts. What is one animal unique to your country/area of the world? Bison. Buffalo =/= bison, btw. What’s one alcoholic beverage that you do not enjoy? God, I won't forget that white wine at Colleen's. Absolute bitter garbage. Have you ever had someone throw up on you before? NO laksjdf;akwejoawjer this is one of my top reasons I am VERY apprehensive to the idea of kids because *I* would add to the puke trying to clean it up. I just can't, dude. Do you prefer pads or tampons, if you need them? I find both uncomfortable in different ways, but I'd rather suffer through a tampon. I've thought about testing other products BECAUSE I really hate both of those, but y'know, squeamishness and unfamiliarity and all. Do you iron your clothes at all? Mom only irons something if it really needs it. Do you like candy corn or hate it? I loathe it, that shit is wax. Do you always shower immediately after sex? I'd go to the bathroom, but I'm not immediately hopping in a shower. How old did your oldest pet live to be? What kind of pet was it? I want to say Teddy was our oldest, and he lived to either 12 or 13, I'm oddly spacing on it right now. When was your curfew when you were younger? I want to say it was 10:30? Have you ever busted a window accidentally? No, but oh lord this reminded me of some shit my nephew did, throwing a ball way too hard and it shattered the glass door to the house. I am GLAD I wasn't there for that shit, apparently Nick nearly exploded. It's replaced now btw, haha. Do you own any pocket knives? No, I really don't like knives. How many languages can you greet somebody in? Like... five? Idk there's a lot of obvious ones that I'm probs forgetting. Do you have a favorite planet? Saturn has always been the reigning queen, but I am also a massive Jupiter fan. Neptune is pretty as well! Man, all the planets are. Space is cool. Do you know how to play the flute? Oh wow, one ACTUALLY targeted at something I can play lol, yes. I played it all through middle school and then I want to say my first two or three years of HS. I was actually pretty good at it; I remember once being second chair in middle school (my best friend Hannia was always the first chair champ), but I remember nearly nothing now. What’s a medication that has really helped you? Latuda is lit-er-a-lly why I am still alive. Do you forgive easily? Yeah, honestly. Have you ever broken up with somebody? Yes. What was the biggest phase you went through when you were younger? Uhhhh... idk Have you ever seen a spider consume another spider? It's possible I've seen this happening on a small scale irl, idk, but I've only ever very briefly seen female tarantulas killing/starting to eat their partner on video if the supervisor was incapable of separating them in time. It's unfortunate but very normal. I do want to take a moment to point out though that I do not and would fucking never watch those appalling "bug vs. bug"-type videos where some asshole just throws two critters into a little tank and see who wins and who dies. I CANNOT wrap my head around YouTube keeping those up. You are LITERALLY broadcasting animal cruelty, get that shit out. Have you ever been to a church camp? Ugh, yes. One of things i just... *did* with my sisters because my mom wanted us to. I remember having good times, but also not-so-good times at them because yeah, let's teach little kids about hammering nice men and his believers onto crosses and throwing rocks at them 'n' shit, gg. Please just let your kids choose if they want to pursue religious education, ffs. Have you ever been dehydrated? I am like... 100% of the time dehydrated, legit. I've heard it enough. Would you say you’re well-educated on religious topics? I spent most of my life trying to validate religion. I'm long done with it. Do you like Skittles? I LOVE Skittles, especially the sour ones. Did you used to read Dr. Seuss books as a kid? Of course! Green Eggs & Ham was my SHIT. God I remember my mom reading that stupid book to me so much, lmao. What’s the longest you’ve had to wait in line for something? It would without a doubt have been something at Disney World, but I have zero recollection of an approximate wait. What’s the sickest you’ve ever been? I'm actually gonna cover this on the physical AND mental front for the helluvit: Physically, it was this stomach virus I once had while still in my school ages. I don't remember any time more specific than that, but I just remember how BAD it was. I just would not stop vomiting to where even bile was barely coming up anymore. I couldn't keep saltine crackers down. That experience SUUUUUUUUUUCKED. Mentally, I think the answer's blaringly obvious to anyone who knows anything about my mental health struggles: 2016, the breakup aftermath. I remember eventually reaching such a low where not only was I practically bedridden, but I would sometimes nap like five fuckin times a day. I didn't want to exist, but was scared to die. I pray to god, to life itself, that I never, ever experience an emotional darkness that black ever again. If you had to be named after an inanimate object, what would you choose? Uhhh... I don't know. I want to say something nature-oriented, but plants and stuff are very much alive and to some extent animate, so. Oh, maybe a gem, like Ruby. Yeah, Ruby. What is one food you would not like to give up? Not exactly a food itself, but GLUTEN. Oh dear god, I am a bread FIEND and I think having such a restrictive diet would murder me. Would you ever donate a kidney to a stranger, if applicable? It's selfish, but to be entirely honest, for a stranger, no, unless of course I'm already dead, seeing as I'm a keen organ donor and encourage everyone to be. Do you have any unusual things wrong with your body? (I have different length arms and hands for example) I'm aware my breasts aren't entirely congruent, but that's very normal and isn't something you'll really notice unless you're like, me. My weight also isn't distributed totally evenly, something *I* think is very obvious when you look at my stomach. What search engine do you use? Google is That Bitch Have you ever had a flat tire? I've never had my own vehicle, but I do remember ALL the way back when my parents were together and we were going some place far, one of the tires on the van gave out and we had to use the spare donut one.

B-B-B-B-BONUS ROUND!!!!

Here are all the tiles that I’m using this year, plus some unused ones at the bottom. I hope that this helps with making your own ^_^

See all the tiles below...

HAIR, MAKE-UP, AND COSTUMES

DRAMATIC HAIR / MAKE-UP DRESSED IN ALL WHITE DRESSED IN ALL BLACK GROUP HAS MATCHING OUTFITS GLITTER / SEQUINS / GEMS / JEWELS BLACK AND SILVER JUMPSUIT LINGERIE MASKS / HELMETS CORSETS LEATHER JACKET MEN IN SKIRTS SUNGLASSES SHIRTLESS MEN STATEMENT HEADDRESS COSTUME CHANGE DURING PERFORMANCE BAREFOOT

LYRICS AND MUSIC

SONG ABOUT MENTAL HEALTH SONG WITH INSPIRATIONAL MESSAGE SONG WITH VAGUELY POLITICAL MESSAGE SONG ABOUT GRIEF / TRAUMA LOVE SONG SONG NOT ABOUT LOVE NON-TYPICAL LANGUAGE SUNG IN NATIVE LANGUAGE ONE LINE / PHRASE NOT IN SAME LANGUAGE AS REST OF THE SONG INDIE GIRL / BOY VOICE POWER NOTE HARMONIES CHANTING KEY CHANGE CULTURAL / TRADITIONAL MUSIC ELEMENTS VIOLIN / FIDDLE GRAND PIANO ON STAGE 1 PERSON 1 GUITAR TURNTABLE / DJ ROCK / ALTERNATIVE (GENRE) COUNTRY (GENRE) GUITAR SOLO

PERFORMANCE, STAGING, AND PROPS

INSTRUMENTS / BAND ON STAGE SOLO SINGER ALONE ON STAGE SINGING WHILE SITTING / KNEELING / LYING DOWN SINGER STANDS IN ONE PLACE FOR WHOLE PERFORMANC MOVING FROM UPPER STAGE TO LOVER STAGE (OR VICE VERSA) DANCE BREAK A MILLION POST IT NOTES BALLOONS ACROBATICS / GYMNASTICS SINGER DANCES CHOREOGRAPHY CLAPPING BACKING DANCERS / VOCALISTS HAVE UNUSUAL COSTUME BACKING DANCERS / VOCALIST HAVE FACES COVERED SPINNING / MOVING STAGE GIANT MOVING STAIRS

LIGHTING, SPECIAL EFFECTS, AND CAMERA EFFECTS

FIRE / SPARKS SMOKE / DRY ICE WIND MACHINE SIMPLE BUT DRAMATIC LIGHTING STROBE LIGHTS EXTREME CLOSE UP DRAMATIC ZOOM ALL LIGHTS TURN OFF NAME OF SONG IN GIANT LETTERS BIG VERSION OF PERFORMER ANYTHING ANIMATED GOOD SPECIAL EFFECTS BAD SPECIAL EFFECTS PROJECTING IMAGE ONTO SINGER VISIBLE CAMERA DURING PERFORMANCE CRAZY SHAKY CAMERA CEILING CAMERA CAMERA DOES A 360 AROUND THE PERFORMER ANY TYPE OF CAMERA FILTER A BILLION LENS FLARES

QUOTES

“GOOD MORNING AUSTRALIA” “I LOVE YOU ITALY / EUROPE” “COME ON!” / “LET’S GO!” / “PUT YOUR HANDS UP!” “THANK YOU EUROPE” / “THANK YOU EUROVISION” “START / STOP VOTING NOW!” “WE HAVE A VALID RESULT”

HOSTS AND THE GREEN ROOM

HOST OUTFIT CHANGE HOST MAKES A JOKE THAT FALLS FLAT HOST SINGS / DANCES AWKWARD GREEN ROOM INTERVIEW EATING IN THE GREEN ROOM DRINKING IN THE GREEN ROOM COMPETITOR BLOW KISS TO CAMERA COMPETITOR WINKS AT CAMERA COMPETITOR TAKES A SELFIE PRIDE FLAG ANYWHERE FLAG NOT FROM A COMPETING COUNTRY (BONUS POINTS FOR BRAZIL) CLOSE UP OF SOMEONE IN THE AUDIENCE SINGING CRYING

VOTING AND JURY

HOLDING UP FINGERS / SIGN WITH VOTING NUMBER ON IT PREVIOUS COMPETITOR AS COUNTRY’S JURY REP COUNTRY’S JURY REP SINGS/RAPS NEIGHBOUR VOTING YOUR FAVE GETS NIL POINTS YOUR FAVE GETS DOUZE POINTS DELAY BETWEEN HOST AND JURY REP DRAMATIC LONG PAUSE DURING POINTS ANNOUNCEMENTS JURY VOTE AND PUBLIC VOTE IS VASTLY DIFFERENT YOUR FAVE ENDS UP ON THE LEFT SIDE

MISCELLANEOUS

YOU HAVE ACTUALLY BEEN TO A PLACE IN THE POSTCARDS LEO THE CGI ROBOT DRONE IS CUTE INTERMISSION ACT / VIDEO YOU LIKE AUDIENCE MEMBERS WEARING ANY COSTUMES YOUR FAVE PERFORMS!! AN ANIMAL ANYWHERE GRACE KELLY MIKA WEARS THAT SUIT AGAIN MANESKIN WILL NOT BE CENSORED WILL MÅNS APPEAR THIS YEAR? CONFETTI SOMETHING EXTREMELY BISEXUAL HAPPENS AT LEAST ONE PERSON IS WEARING A FACE MASK ANYWHERE ANY MOMENT THAT MAKES YOU GO WTF?? TECHNICAL DIFFICULTIES MARTIN OSTERDAHL ANYONE MISPRONOUNCES SOMETHING IN ENGLISH ITALIAN PINCHED FINGERS GESTURE

UNUSED

RED LIPSTICK GLITTER MAKE-UP SILVER MINIDRESS BACKLESS COSTUMES WATER FEATURE EDM DROP / ANTI-DROP SOLO SINGER WITH ONE DANCER KISS ON STAGE NERVOUS / SHAKY DISCO OPERA RAP TWO BALLADS IN A ROW TWO KEY CHANGES IN ONE SONG VERY YOUNG COMPETITOR SOFT TOY MASCOT AUDIBLE BOOING HOST INTERVIEWS AUDIENCE MEMBER OBVIOUS VOTING BLOC BOYBAND / GIRLBAND SITTING ON STOOL / CHAIR DURING PERFORMANCE WARDROBE MALFUNCTION SINGER MISSES HIGH NOTE FLAT / PITCHY / OFF-KEY FLAG BLOCKS CAMERA “LA LA LA” / “NA NA NA” HOST AND COUNTRY REP ACCIDENTALLY SPEAK OVER EACH OTHER ANIMAL COSTUMES HOST MESSES UP SCRIPT AN ACTUAL BAND A PREVIOUS COMPETITOR / WINNER FROM HOST COUNTRY PERFORMS FAMILY MEMBERS PERFORM TOGETHER ‘ROMANCE’ BETWEEN TWO PERFORMERS DRAMATIC STARE INTO CAMERA COMPETITOR MAKES A HEART WITH HANDS / FINGERS HOSTS MAKE A TOAST IN THE GREEN ROOM CROWNS THIGH HIGH BOOTS FEMALE EMPOWERMENT / GIRL POWER EXTREME CAMERA ZOOM IN / OUT LEOTARDS NIL POINTS TOTAL NON-EUROPEAN PERFORMER INSTRUMENTAL HOOK / CHORUS REFLECTIONS / MIRRORS CROPPED SHIRT / JACKET PERFORMER TRIPS / FALLS WHISTLE NOTE ACAPELLA TRUMPETS METAL (GENRE) OVERSIZED PROP / COSTUMES DISCO BALL FEATHERS PERFORMER GRABS THE CAMERA TWERKING A MEME IS BORN

PLAYING THE GUITAR WITH A VIOLIN BOW CAMERA DOES A DOLLY-ZOOM LEATHER PANTS MORPHSUITS BANANAS ANYWHERE IN THE AUDIENCE ACCORDION LONG GOWN TRAIN CAGE MADE OF LIGHTS

YOUR FAVE IS ANTI NATIVE: Mary McNamara and the Los Angeles Times

"THE BARBIE MOVIE WASN'T RACIST" you sure as fuck are for tripping over yourself for a chance to speak over Indigenous people who say it very much is. Is this really the hill you want to die on?

ok i had to delete the original because i had so many people harassing me because i told them their white woman fave fucked up and are terrible people, but unbeknowest to me, everything under the cut cannot be seen once the original post has been deleted. so im going to quickly do this again.

Before you come here and say "you just hate women", you're right, i hate bigoted white women! hope this clears everything up 👍

I am only going to mention things i have evidence to back myself up with, so sorry if i left anything out.

TW RACISM

Im going to briefly bring up lindsay ellis because she is the reason why i made that original post.

Lindsay has made claims she was "harassed" off the internet but will not explain why she was "harassed", she was told that she has continouslly said racist things and decided to brush those "criticisms" off.

The examples of these instances i can find are when she dismissed the racist portrayal of Native Americans in twilight as being a factor of why Twilight was so hated, (and also the racist rule based on the mormon belief about black people in twilight (not mentioned) being inherently evil because they are black) and instead just said "its because the world hates teenage girls!".

she also made very strange and racist tweets about finding reylo-type fic of Harriet Tubman and her "Twinky salve master" on a plane.

and of course the Raya tweet many people spoke about

This also goes beyond twitter as people who knew Lindsay in real life had come out and said Lindsay is very dismissive of and has racist biases

1. Jenny Nicholson

Jenny Nicholson has a very long history of being extremely racist, but most well known for getting john boyega harassed over a joke he made about movie characters that are not real.

here is the thread of some of the harassment john had to endure because Jenny claimed he was a misogynist

Then wanted to turn around and play into her white woman victimhood

And when told she was racist and encitied the harassment John Boyega received, she went on a mass blocking spree

(all people shown below were blocked by Jenny after they called her out)

TW CANIBALLISM

and i think she also defended caniballism?

2. Contrapoints

TW TRUSCUM, ANTI-SEMITISM, RACISM AND NAZI IMAGERY

Despite me finding Contrapoints' obsession with "deradicalizing numerous young men within alt-right spaces" is weird (and it shows as she spends so much time with them she ends up spewing a lot of their same rhetoric) she constantly gives them a platform.

The most notorious instance of this was when she made a video with known domestic abuser and truscum, Buck Angel.

TW ANTI SEMITISM

Contrapoints keeps to have a affinity for "ironically" being anti-semitic, evidence can be found in these videos, where she "jokes" about the anti-semitic conspiracy of the lizard people.

What's Wrong with Capitalism (Part 1)

What's Wrong with Capitalism (Part 2)

She also sold t-shirts with said lizard people, and apparently had in the description "David Ickle was right" in the description. I cannot find this, but i did find the shirt on TeePublic with "The reptiles rule us" in the description.

TW RACISM AND NAZI IMAGERY

She also mocked Native Americans for talking about racism and dressed up as a Nazi in her video about Charlotteville (yes, its weird to have nazi gear lying around your house)

3. Sarah z

Sarah Z is known for going on mass blocking sprees when she is called out for her racism, and claimed she was "curating her space" due to "harassment". she also went on a big petty blocking spree when people were joking about her blocking anyone who interacts with a post talking about her.

posts can be found here:

1.

2.

She has obviously gained a lot of attention on here because of her youtube channel, where she talks about tumblr history and fandom "drama". I will not be bringing her channel up because as i stated in my last post, i do not care about her content and i have no reason to bring it up.

But she did reblog a post talking about only caring about the women and children of Afghanistan, which is a very common scapegoat white women use as cheap representation for them to "tear down the patriarchy" when they do not care about women of color (and will deny their womanhood when criticised by them, or claim it is misogyny as Sarah z did to me when I confronted her) and also an excuse to be racist towards men of color.

TW RAPE KINK, PEDOPHILLIA AND RACE PLAY MENTION

as of July 7th 2022 Sarah came out to say that it is transphobic that people, many of whom are not white, are discussing how harmful race play, pedophillia and rape kinks are.

These women constantly cry about being "cancelled" (Lindsay and Contrapoints even made videos about them)

Lindsay's video

ContraPoints Video

When they were "cancelled" for genuine shitty things and not "they were mean to someone on twitter and a video we don't like".

And if people telling them they have racist biases, spew alt-right rethoric, and enticing the harassment of a black man is wrong is "harassment", then i don't know what else to say.

pls do elaborate on being a fan service anti, I'd love the hear your opinion. i also don't like it if it's over the top but i think sometimes it can be fun

ok anon this will be rambly and chaotic so sorry in advance

basically some idols seem to enjoy doing fanservice-ish stuff (huta for example) but often it feels forced... and i feel bad for idols who look uncomfy but "have" to do it no matter how over the top some requests are. sometimes fanservice is just simple stuff like shinwon posting 'comment a date i will post a tbt selca', sometimes it's getting ripped for a concert to do a shirtless stage, sometimes it's asking some idol to say something in your native language while they have no idea what are they really saying, sometimes it's letting fans touch your hair/hand... there are many examples of fanservice just like there are many opinions, but don't believe idols i like don't owe me anything. it's my choice to like them, just because i spend money on them it doesn't mean they are obligated to ... pander to me? when i was growing up myspace was big so i used to follow local band scene. for those people it didn't matter if you were around since first 5 basement gigs, they would refuse to take a photo or just pay "fans" no mind. they believed their success is based off their skills, connections and luck. fans are a bonus. when i did stuff in movies, a lot of actors treated their fans like a nuisance.. kinda? maybe it's a strong word, but it was very... "for granted". having fans is a given. it's an entierly different culture, on many levels. while in kpop fans are often credited with helping their fave group get big by promoting them or just. behaving well in offline/online spaces (whatever that means). obviously you need fans to get big, someone has to rake in the streams. but there's this expectation? fan has to do stuff for their fave, and their fave has to repay them? it's transactional? every nice interaction an idol has with a fan gets labeled as fanservice, rather than 'human interaction'. idk people should be kind to each other regardless... should idols treat people who aren't their fans like dust? to make sure their "real true fans" keep feeling special? ... hmmm..... maybe im a weirdo but i dont need ... anything like that? i dont want my favorite artist to... know... i exist... i enjoy their art and being a silent spectator. my idea of them isn't who they really are and that's fine by me? i guess it's because i hate being a burden to anyone but like. no one has to do aegyo to ensure i keep buying their albums. the progressing dehumanization of idols is also something i can't help but notice. feels like one step into right direction is always followed by 2 steps back. sigh. i hope this ... essay makes sense anon.

I'm pretty upset ppl in the Mandolorian fandom (?!?) are claiming I'm a terf when all I did was point out Disney's anti-Indigenous racism. ie. completely undermining boba fett in his own show by shifting focus to a character who is, both visually and narratively, a white(washed) version of Boba. It's not that I particularly care what ppl say about me, but it has been a hurtful reminder of how so many people claim to listen to trans and Native voices until we ask you to be critical of something you like. Your alleged allyship is non-existent because you can't even stand one person pointing out how centring a white character in a Native character's story, especially a white character whose identity was appropriated from that Native character, is disrespectful. Instead, you get so defensive you label me with the very group of people who'd rather have me and others like me dead. It's astonishing how many Mando fans, even fans of colour, have been filling my inbox with lies and Native racism all because I called y'alls fave white character a white character.

get to know me

am going to mix these two different tag games into one post so thank you a lot for tagging me @jazthespazz and @i-am-just-a-kiddo ♥

it’s somehow funny to do these same games again after a while so let’s see what I come up with:

Part I

name: real name petra but i prefer vish/vishie over here ^^ 

pronouns: she/her

star sign: aries ♈

height: 178cm (which am coming more and more proud of while i realize how damn tall every cdrama actor is lol)

time: 10:37pm as am answering this one

birthday: 10th april!

nationality: finnish 

fave bands/groups: ah well this is always a hard question but let’s go with these: BTS, DAY6, OneRepublic, Hurts, Oneus, Hoppipolla, TXT, Red, Mamamoo

fave solo artists: (forgive me if i’ve assumed any of these wrong) Novo Amor, Talos, Crywolf, Liu Yuning, SYML, EDEN, PVRIS, Joker Xue, NF, Halsey, Sleeping At Last, Nuz, HyunA, Sam Smith, Taemin

song stuck in your head: it’s OneRepublic’s Rescue Me bc of the song tag game i did earlier today :’D that one always gets stuck in my head whenever i as much as see the title lol 

last movie you watched: i think it’s The Yin-Yang Master (2021)? I haven’t watched any movies after that bc am so busy with all of my dramas haha

last show you binged: i think binged would be The Journey Across the Night! I watched that as a whole in 4 days

when you created your blog: in 2013 

the last thing you googled: ummm i think it was “what is a ball of wool called” bc of fic purposes haha as a non native speaker i always get a bit lost with words like this 

other blogs: none, i just dump everything here like the idiot i am 

why i chose my url: dates back to my intense summer of binge reading J.R. Ward’s Black Dagger Brotherhood series. Vishous was my favorite of the brothers haha. i first used this username in some random game on my nintendo ds lol 

how many people are you following: 358 which somehow feels like a lot but also like way too few?? i should probably search for some new blogs with other topics than cql, bts and/or dmbj bc i do love a lot of things at once 

how many followers do you have: over 800 

average hours of sleep: i’d say around 7h

lucky numbers: i remember answering 5 previously? i don’t really have a lucky number but 5 pops into my head

instruments: nope, no. not touching those tyvm. i admire everyone who can play any instrument tho

what i’m currently wearing: black jeans, socks with foxes on them (plus my woolly socks), a gray cardigan (my fave thing ever!) and an orange/brown top

dream job: writer would be ideal but that is very faaaaar into the dream zone 

dream trip: around different parts of asia to taste all the amazing food ;; maybe a road trip of sorts through europe? or inter railing? another trip to london bc i miss that ;; a trip to the very northern part of lapland to see all the auroras etc! i’ve never been that far north :’D 

fave food: if i need to quickly name something then sushi. otherwise am pretty fine with anything spicy 

top three fictional universes you’d like to live in: i remember thinking about this a lot the last time i answered this but hmm. currently i’d say dmbj still bc that world is fascinating AND i would love to talk to the characters. mass effect would be the second one currently bc i miss those games and the space stuff is super cool! and the third one would be assassin’s creed rogue bc that is my fave ac game and i like the northern sea and the places in it AND i could probably be one of abstergo’s employees instead and just test/play those simulation games haha 

Part II

Last Song: am currently listening to my playlist with just everything so i have Andrew Belle’s The Enemy playing right now (also I only just now realized that Andrew Belle also sings Pieces which is one of my fave songs? my bff linked that to me after it played in some tv series she was watching)

Last Movie Last Stream: i didn’t want to mention the same movie again or skip this question and i’ve wanted to talk about this anyway so! i watched Liu Chang’s bday live last night :’D it was so much fun even if i couldn’t understand anything. it was just nice to watch him being himself and have fun and chill with his fans. also the songs were amazing ;; i cried with Liu Sang’s character song as well as the ending. and all the while i couldn’t turn my gaze away from his eyes! he has such pretty eyes and they were absolutely Sparkling throughout the whole stream, it was so nice :’)

Currently Reading: Devotions by Mary Oliver (i adore her poems! they’re a very nice change after Siken haha) and then some uni stuff for a course about culture and mental health plus my thesis

Currently Watching: Douluo Continent, Word of Honor, The Long Ballad 

all of these are amazing and make me feel different things! i started Douluo Continent just a while ago and am now on ep 16 i think? it’s been very pretty and very chill and i watch it during the weekend while i wait for new episodes to the other two :’D it’s nice to see Xiao Zhan again and i’ve enjoyed the rpg game type of feeling in it? the group of seven is doing amazing and it’s interesting to watch them craft their team work! Word of Honor again has reached the ending and i just hold my breath with it. am not too far gone with it so i am not getting as heavy feelings about it as i probably could but i enjoy it  alot still and i do cry at times ^^ and then The Long Ballad has just blown me away! i didn’t expect to love it this much and be this invested in it but everything about it has been such a positive surprise and it keeps making me super emotional! i love the characters and the story and the romances even! it’s a great accomplishment for me. also yes i cry on the daily bc of hao du and bc of ashile sun’s hair haha

(i am also rewatching Ultimate Note kind of and been thinking about getting into rewatching Reboot bc it has been on my list ever since i finished it)

What is antipoetry to you: okay hmm i had to google this too and have to agree with Kiddo here. i don’t have strong feelings about poetry tbh, i wasn’t into poetry that much before maybe a bit over year ago? Siken has really blown me away haha. but i have always loved song lyrics which i never thought as poetry but then Kiddo said to me that they consider them poetry and yeah ok. i agree? so idk poetry can be whatever i suppose. i’ve never seen any rules in it anyway. i know there are many rules for different types of poetry but then again. i feel like poetry has always been just words put together to feel things and i guess that is the core purpose of every written type of art in the end right? 

Currently craving: a drama as good and as personal as The Journey Across the Night. that show really just stole my heart and i want that feeling back. i think about that show every day. i miss Li Jia and his two partners. i miss the vibes. i miss sitting on my floor watching it and just sobbing my heart out haha. also! craving a properly subbed, whole version of Anti-Fraud League. only the first 12 eps are badly subbed out there. wetv has... blocked? deleted? the whole show??? i need it to my life, i wanna see Xiao Yuliang being cute as Mi Ruo and i wanna know where the story goes smh 

thank you so much for these both! i had fun ^^ also am sorry this is so long but haha if you’re asking me to talk about myself and my interests then this is what you get :) 

tagging (to do which ever part you want or both!): @cross-d-a @jockvillagersonly @humanlighthouse @kholran @xcziel @minmoyu and @leonzhng ♥