I've written a lot of this elsewhere, but today I feel like putting together a Very Long Post about how much I love Ram.
From the variety of different Ram-related posts I've made, I guess you can tell that I've got the type of all-cylinders obsession that the most devoted fanfic writers get about their blorbos. Obsession on all levels, to include both "wanting to see him hugged and comforted through every step of unpacking his trauma" and "wanting to see him get the absolute hottest sex of his life, over and over until exhaustion."
Because we do that, here in fandom (horny and loving creatures that we are, ourselves). And he really does deserve all the good things he can get.
Ram... it's hard to explain WHY I love him so much. Why so MANY of us love him so much. He gets a lot of fan love for hIs comparatively small role in that movie, and I think it's a combination of things, the LAYERS of the movie, the subtle complexities that are never clear in canon... maybe never even thought about or planned by the scriptwriters, but still THERE.
There is of course a level on which he seems very innocent, pure, naive... (thinks doing actuary work at an insurance company is helping people, poor sweet summer child...) (/my cynical jaded pharmacy technician voice)
But at the same time.... He went from that clerical office job to being a warrior, and is GOOD at it. You don't really see him kill, but you know he must have. Many many times.
...okay, technically you do see him kill, once.
Collaboratively with Tron, when they derezz their Lightcycle opponent. And it's bizarre to see how much FUN he seems to be having in that moment ("So long, sucker!")
Maybe he's been oppressed by the Red warriors for so long that he really feels nothing but joy in killing them. Maybe he's feeling unusual joy in that moment because Flynn's just offered him a way out. Or maybe some programs just get taken over by a playful, campy energy when they're put in Gaming mode, even lethal games, even if it overrides their usual nature. I don't know.
Anyway, somehow, despite all he was made to do... Ram managed to keep some of that air of innocent playfulness.
And hope. And caring for others. Trying his best to comfort whoever needs it. At the beginning of the movie he was honest with Crom about what probably awaited him, but then he did his best to take Crom's mind off it by asking him what's going on outside-- that's the best he can do, even though it probably kills him on the inside that he can't help more.
Amd he is SO sensitive to others and what they may be feeling and needing (though this is shown in such small, understated ways).
There is that scene where he's alone with Tron in the cell, and says "the new guy was asking about you." We never actually saw Flynn ask Ram about Tron, and there isn't any obvious point at which he could have asked him offscreen. Pretty sure this was an unintentional plothole-- I think there was a line in the early script, but it was cut.
Which leaves me, in my ill-advised attempts at Watsonian interpretation, getting the (probably unintended) impression that Ram noticed that moment just before Flynn got dragged out of the cell. That moment where he was looking at the place where Tron had been before, and looked like he WANTED to ask, but didn't get the chance. And Ram saw him "asking" with body language, and remembered it.
Which, I don't care if they did that by accident, I find it damn compelling, okay.
And then Tron says he'll probably never get to meet Flynn because Flynn's in a match, but Ram says "you might, there's something different about him." Ram has some kind of perceptiveness about Unfamiliar Things In The System that even the security program lacks. He's shown with SUCH empathy and sensitivity... even if it's so subtle it might not be on purpose.
And ...gah, the tenderness of that scene where he holds hands with Flynn before derezzing.
I mean... aaaahhhh. it breaks my heart. He deserved better... And I know the scene feels less powerful after we write fix-it fic. But hey, there's the side of me that likes a good tragedy, and there's the side that wants everyone to live happily ever after, and there's enough possible universes to satisfy both.
I WANTED to see so much more about him.
There was SO much unexplored potential in the dynamic between his playfulness and Tron's seriousness. We know Tron can smile and be affectionate, but I wanted to see SO MUCH more of it-- and so much more of Ram getting to bring that side of him out.
He'd have been so good at it.
And now I'm gonna get into the horny side of things... because the horny side, to me, can also be an important part of what makes a whole, multidimensional character. (And also because I sometimes just feel like going into the horny side, which is fine too. I'm a complicated enough character myself.)
I talk a lot about my headcanons/theories, but I don't think of them as "canon" exactly. They aren't more "real" to me than other interpretations; they're just one possibility. (Or sometimes more. For a few things I have multiple contradicting possibilities I like to explore.)
As for Ram and his sexuality:
I think of him as gay, but in a weird Program-specific sense. Programs don't have genders in quite the same way as humans. There's the visual render, which is changeable, and underneath is a lot of energy and data that Programs can perceive about each other... some of it is analogous to human gender identities, but not all of it translates exactly.
I think what attracts most programs to each other is the inner energy, not the outer graphics. And in Ram's own experience I think he tends to be attracted to the energy of masculine programs (those whose programmers are considered men in the User world).
I think he's only felt this powerful attraction a few times, though. Certainly to Tron, and also to Flynn (really, that User-energy seemed powerfully attractive to all three of the programs Flynn befriended in there).
But I think Ram is still very free and generous with intimacy, even to those who don't attract him in that way. He's a kind soul by nature, canonically getting his own kind of empathetic pleasure ("great feeling") from helping people with their "needs."
And (in my own smutty but strangely wholesome imagination) I think this would extend to the Program version of sexual needs.
The first Tron fic I wrote was about Ram "comforting" Crom when they both realized Crom probably didn't stand a chance in the Games. I think Ram genuinely enjoyed this, and took plenty of pleasure in his own way, although the attraction was not the same kind he felt for Tron and Flynn.
In the "headcanon" I like to write, Ram did this often, because it was the only way he could think to help other programs in the cells and the games (when helping plan for their future seemed like a lost cause). ....I think when he's in this mode, he sees beauty in everyone, and takes pleasure in giving pleasure, no matter who it is.
But I imagine that the more intense attraction becomes active when it comes to being in a triad with Tron and Yori.
And this is because Ram is very attracted to the intimate connection that Tron and Yori have *together.*
He wants to be shared between them, because he sees their love as a powerful amplification of *Tron's* energy that he's so attracted to. And he's very excited by the idea of being swept into the middle of that.
Which is projection on my part.
I mean, when I got into Tron fic, I immediately latched onto a specific headcanon about how Program intimacy and attraction works, the one that most closely meshed with what I myself was into... which got me exploring some stuff about my own complex place on the sorta-queer, sorta-poly, gray-ace-gray-aro spectrum.
And Ram's feelings (as I imagine them) are a bit like my own experience of being poly.
At least, even though I'm probably somewhere on the aro-ace spectrum and don't have quite as much capacity for romantic love and sex drive as other people... a big part of what I love about having multiple partners is being close to the connections they have *with each other.* And this supersedes whatever inclinations I'd have towards "attraction" in a one-on-one sense.
Soooo yeah. Watch me project my whole self onto Ram, and then maybe get better at loving myself because of how much and on how many levels I love him. That's what being a fan is all about, okay.
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