OH MY GOD??? BIRTHDAY??? womb evacuation day, as i like to call it🙀

this got me thinking tbh. modern au, what time would genshin men tell u happy birthday?

first up our 00:01 squad would text u or pull up outside.. mmm thoma 100% hes down bad,, childe as well!! potentially venti

next the boys who wouldn't text and go out of their way to see u first thing!! diluc, kazuha & itto (trust me on this one!!)

would tell u whenever they happened to remember/see you that day .. kaeya, gorou, albedo

WOULD FORGET :(( ayato, xiao

failed to figure out how to text you and spent the morning pecking at phone buttons -zhongli

-🫧

Hi bubbly nonnie!! i sincerely apologise for my tardiness (yes i still have your diluc req in the inbox, yes i'm working on it). anyway, here's what i think...

(romantic pairings bc i'm just like that)

"birthday"

thoma, childe, kaeya, zhongli, diluc (separate) x gn!reader

genre: drabble

word count: idk (oops)

a/n: i'm lazy, its been summarised, i don't even count this as a fic i'm just trying to make it look like one because you guys haven't been fed recently and i sincerely apologise. also i made up shit about fontaine to make it fit, do excuse xoxo

thoma definitely shows up outside with cake and a party hat for you both at 12am sharp. does a little dance whilst singing happy birthday to you, and once you've both gotten back into the house and you've blown your candles out, he will immediately pull you in by the waist and kiss you, he just wants you to know he appreciates you!

childe has a tradition each year of making sure he is with you on your birthday, he wants to be there to congratulate you on a new year of you, the second it comes along. The second the clock hits the hour of your birthday, he hugs you tightly before separating from you, announcing...

"you're just as beautiful as last year, darling"

kaeya, the flirty bastard... is still flirty. BUT doesn't want to bother you late at night so instead, he will find you in the morning, when you're in mondstadt buying some groceries, approach you from behind whilst you're trying to buy some fruits (he almost got himself punched) and wrap his arms around your waist. yes you very nearly elbowed him in the stomach, he managed to step out of the way. would casually place his head on your shoulder from behind whilst hugging you and announce, in a low tone...

"happy birthday my dear, i've gotta run, knighthood calls. see you tonight?"

"thanks, kae. see you tonight"

and not that either of you noticed, but the fruit vendor happened to overhear you both, offering you the produce for free.

"if there's anything the people of mondstadt know, far better than barbatos' winds, or how to spot a good wine, it's the cavalry captains love for his partner. here, have a nice birthday, y/n."

unfortunately due to circumstance, zhongli was not able to be in liyue on your birthday. of course, this made him quite upset. he would have teleported back only he had an important meeting in fontaine, and it was stipulated in a contract that he couldn't teleport, lest someone found out about something they shouldn't. thankfully, he had been gifted a smartphone by you for his own birthday the previous year, which he still hadn't quite figured out how to use.

at first he thought he should call you, forgetting that time zones were a thing. sadly by the time he had actually figured out how to make a call (he had to ask focalors, it was an awkward interaction, she also did not know.) he realised that you were quite a few hours ahead of him, and had probably already gone out for the day and couldn't chat.

so he decided to text you. which did not go well (his hands are too big for those damned tiny buttons). he isn't sure till this day if the message even sent, because you never responded.

turns out he had sent it to tartaglia, who actually understood phones enough to forward the text to you...

"gaooy biethdsy mt libe, u hipe thus dsy ia as beauutofil as tou"

diluc is bad at romance. let me rephrase that: diluc does not know how to express his feelings, but wants to spend your birthday with you, so he tries to make it look like an accident that he just happened to be by your side all day.

first thing in the morning, you will notice a noble eagle flying in the sky outside your home. you knew that this bird was none other than dilucs own.

"how strange... why couldn't he just ask me to come to the winery...?"

nevertheless, the large bird flew its way down to land on your garden fence, its sharp talons somehow not scratching the wood, and called to you (i know nothing about birds, sorry), before flying back into the sky in the direction you knew diluc would be waiting. so, you had no choice but to follow it, right?

upon arriving at the winery, you were met by a handsome man in a black dress shirt, holding a bouquet of cecelias. he grabbed your hand and kissed you on the cheek.

"happy birthday, y/n"

SORRY THESE STARTED OFF SHORT AND THEN MY BRAIN STARTED INFODUMPING ON ME

i apologise thoma stans (i'm one of you) i have let you down this day

Actually OK I can be open AF about this now that I'm Mostly Leaving, might be closure for someone out there so lmfao lemme have at it

So. If we used to be friends or mutuals and I unfollowed you and you're in the TES fandom, especially a couple years ago, or Ive been ignoring your posts, or anything like that sort of weird behaviour with you..... Yeah so for years and years now I've had this deep paranoia that a lot of people in the fandom genuinely hate me and I really can't divide it from reality (thank you if you were considering saying something positive, but unfortunately it doesn't work I just gotta love with it), so I've been actively avoiding people (in general, but also certain people) for a long time to avoid being in their hair. I don't actually know if any of yall DO hate me but.... If I suddenly just dumped following you or stopped interacting with your posts and you noticed? If I'd ever told you I really appreciated you or your art and then suddenly was no longer there? Etc etc? Yeah no its not you

INDAY

± A Trese Fic ±

[Crispin/Basilio/Maliksi/Dominic x Skymaiden!Reader]

01: Noon at Ngayon (✓)

02: Ang Kambal na Anak ni Datu Talagbusao, Diyos ng Digmaan (Link)

03: Ang Prinsipe ng Mga Tikbalang (Link)

04: Ang Pinuno ng Mga Aswang (Link)

05: (Link) 06: (Link) 07: (Link)

01: Noon at Ngayon

Back then, long before you were born, your mother used to work as a katulong of the Trese Family and was very close to its matriarch, Miranda Trese. Coming from the province, she was no stranger to superstitions—even more so after knowing the work of Miranda's husband Anton Trese, who was actually the Babaylan-Mandirigma of Manila.

Years later, after giving birth to you around the same time Miranda gave birth to her twins (one a stillborn, unfortunately), it was you and Alexandra who became best buddies instead, as different your personalities were. You two had practically grown up together and you yourself heard countless stories of the supernatural from your Tito Anton. It wasn't that hard to believe when he and his sigbin companions would sometimes come home tracking blood prints on the floors (which you'd helped your mother clean up). Heck, you'd even met Señor Armanaz, the Great Stallion himself and the ruling tikbalang of the Armanaz herd. That pretty, white-haired diwata seemed extremely fond of you, too, which was evident when you'd sneak in with Alexandra to Tito Anton's meetings and she would smile (even wave) at you happily.

You had absolutely no idea why the fae-like lady was so nice to you, but you weren't complaining at all!

However, in spite of your experiences with the supernatural, you and your mother always believed that you were normal humans. In actuality, that was who you were for the majority of your childhood. It was only until Miranda herself saw a vision of you—a much older you—fighting the monsters of the Underworld alongside her own daughter. During dinnertime, Miranda told your mother that she saw you blessed by the heavens with powers that would aid in the battle against evil.

It sounded absolutely ridiculous, right? Yeah, your mom thought so, too.

Your mother only laughed it off as she placed a steaming bowl of tinola in front of Alexandra's brothers, who instantly dug in like they haven't been fed in years.

"Boys! Dahan-dahan lang," Anton reprimanded his sons. "Or else you'll choke and the soup will come out of your noses!"

"Okay, Papa."

"Grabe ka naman, Miranda. I doubt that anything like that's going to happen to my daughter," your mom chuckled, watching your little hands try to feed Alexandra with a piece of chicken. "Unlike you guys, our lineage isn't anything special. Ordinaryo lang ang lahi namin."

Miranda sighed, looking at you and her only living daughter enjoying your time being kids, "I guess you're right. Baka panaginip lang talaga 'yun."

Anton glanced at her knowingly. Although he was aware that you and your mom didn't dabble in magic or anything like they did, he knew that whenever Miranda—one of the Seven Seers—had such vivid dreams, it was something of great importance. But he decided to say nothing, understanding how much your mother wanted to let you live as normal of a life possible in this household.

That was when you were seven years old. One year later, Miranda died fighting against a group of aswang who decided to betray Anton. Said man found the eight-year-old Alexandra hiding in a corner behind the waterfalls, scared and holding Sinag close to her heaving chest as she tried to hold her tearful sobs in.

Of course, a few days later, you and your mother attended the funeral with the mourning Trese family. All the brothers had done their best to stay strong, especially for their little sister who didn't fully understand yet what just happened. Little you ran towards Alexandra, holding her hand tightly as her mother's casket was lowered. Around you were various comrades, both human and non-human, paying their respects to their bereaved allies.

That day, as you turned your back to return to your mother's arms, you knew you would never forget the feeling of numerous unearthly eyes following your every movement.

Even they could sense that there was something about you, a so-called regular human child. You smelled human and had the aura of one, but there was something they couldn't place. It was like a tiny rock getting into your shoe, not coming out at all.

Much changed after that, but you and Alexandra remained close together. To your dismay, just after you graduated elementary, you and your mother had to move back to the province to stay with your sick grandparents. The last thing you could remember was kneeling in the back of the car, looking sadly through the rear windscreen as Alexandra and her brothers waved goodbye to you.

More than a decade had passed since then. You used to write letters to Alexandra, but after Hank told you she had to undergo the trials of the Puno ng Balete, you haven't heard from her (although Hank did disclose that she'd managed to come home safely, which was a great relief to you). You didn't blame her; you knew Tito Anton had passed away in the five years she was gone and that she had to take over the title of Lakan, as well as the Babaylan-Mandirigma of Manila. It was a demanding job! You remembered Tito Anton sometimes staying up all night—breakfast would be served and he would still be in his study, going over paperwork. On other days, he would be gone for consecutive nights handling cases all around Manila. You could only pray Alexandra was fine.

Your life had continued on, as well—you took care of your ill grandparents until they died, helped your mother in the province, went to a good highschool, then earned your degree in another prominent city that wasn't Manila.

Your mom actually recommended that you go to school somewhere else, given the constantly rising number of attacks in the capital of the country. And so you did. Life was hard, but normal until then.

The funny thing was that, when you reached the age of twenty-one, you finally understood why those supernatural creatures kept looking at you weirdly as a kid (and why Lady Diwata liked you so much).

What was even funnier was that the dramatic revelation came to you when you weren't in the Philippines. It was after you freshly graduated college, when you were traveling all over Asia to volunteer in charity projects. It was always your dream to one day expand your horizons not only beyond your province, but the Philippines itself, while also doing good in the world.

And here you were, walking that path you dreamt of.

The organization you luckily managed to become a member of provided everything you needed, and every few months, you would move from country to country. Because of that, you'd already been able to travel to so many places. First it was Thailand, then Indonesia, China, South Korea, India, Japan, Sri Lanka, Singapore, Malaysia, and currently, you were in Vietnam. Visiting those places was fun and gave you a whole new perspective of the world you lived in; it was a... learning experience, too.

Still, that incident happened when you were in Thailand, when you were the last one in the rented apartment balcony taping up the boxes for the donation drive tomorrow. Yawning, you cut more duct tape and stuck them to the open boxes tightly.

"Inday," someone said from behind you. You didn't bother turning around, thinking it was one of your fellow volunteers looking for you this late at night. Probably your roommate. She was the only one who usually called you by your nickname instead of your real name.

"Hmm?" you hummed, taping up more boxes. "Papasok na ako sa kwarto, Lyn. I just have a few more boxes to close. Alam mong mapapagalitan ako kung may hindi madidistribute bukas."

"Hindi ako si Lyn."

You paused, then slowly turned around, flinching at the sudden bright light that shone right against your eyes. For a moment, akala mo namatay ka na at hinaharap mo si San Pedro.

It was a glowing figure in white whose face you couldn't clearly see, which frightened you even more.

"Ay, mama!" you exclaimed, shielding your eyes and falling to your knees. Then, you gasped loudly, patting your body and panicking with closed lids. "Oh my God, am I dead? Nasa heaven na po ba ako?" Your lips wobbled. "Ngayon pa nga lang ako nakaalis ng Pilipinas... I haven't even done all the things I've wanted to do! Hindi pa ako nakapagpaalam sa nanay ko—aray!"

You'd felt something hit the back of your head. Hard. It was the glowing figure in white, but now you could see their unimpressed face scowling at you.

"Kalma lang, Inday. Hindi ka pa patay, pero makinig ka nang mabuti," they shushed you urgently (you weren't sure if they were male or female). "Do not be afraid. I am a messenger from the heavens, and I bear great news!"

"Great news...?" you trailed off, then your eyes widened excitedly. "Like, nanalo ba ako ng lotto? Isang milyon? Bilyon? Hala! Wait, is this a Mama Mary moment? I'm not ready to be the next immaculate conception!"

They glared at you, making you shut up instantly. "Sorry, I'll shut up now," you apologized with a mumble. This person (thing?) was kind of... strict. Whatever did you do wrong? You were just sleep-deprived and running on energy drinks (as well as kape).

"I have come to tell you that you are the vessel of the last skymaiden," they revealed, arms wide open. The light around them seemed to grow even brighter, making you squint. You felt like you were about the go blind! "Ikaw ang huling biraddali, Y/N L/N."

At ayun, zero brain cells remaining. Tunay na nagloading screen ang brain mo. Nag-error at nagcrash pa nga siguro, eh.

"... Ha? Ano?"

You blinked, completely speechless—as seen by how wide your jaw had dropped open. It wasn't that you were unfamiliar with the biraddali, it was just that you'd only heard of them once when you were just a young child. Your Tita Miranda had mentioned they were long gone from the world of the supernatural.

"Oh no, me? A biraddali? You're joking," you stuttered out, pointing at yourself. "Aren't they extinct or something? And, uh... not human?"

They nodded, "Yes. It is correct that everyone in the mystical world thought that the biraddali were long gone, even before the colonizers came to conquer the native lands. However, before the skymaidens all disappeared, the youngest and most powerful one among the seven sisters sealed her soul away to the rivers of time until the strength of a heavenly being was needed to help purify the evils of the world." The figure floated closer to you. "That last biraddali's soul, along with its corresponding power, traits, and knowledge, had chosen to reside deep within you the moment you were conceived."

Honestly, how were you even supposed to react? Your life was nowhere near ready for something like this. Was this a prank by your friends? Your colleagues? The light around this person seemed too authentic to be fake, though.

You stayed in shock for an entire minute, silent. The being in front of you only waited for a response.

"Ano 'to, Sailor Moon? Winx Club?" you whispered to yourself, before slapping your own cheek and scolding yourself. A stinging red mark was left on your face. "Inday, kakamanhwa mo 'yan! Nasosobraan ka na ata, matulog ka na!"

Sighing heavily, you rubbed your face tiredly, still in disbelief that you—according to this stranger—were apparently some old soul from a species of ethereal beings that were long gone. It sounded like something out of those reincarnation webnovels you got addicted to. What now, you were the MC? Wattpad ka, girl?

"Look, this is a mistake. I still have to wake up early tomorrow to give out the donations," you spoke to the glowing being (or whatever it was), laughing nervously. "I'm sorry, but I think you have the wrong person. Either that or I must be hallucinating from sleep deprivation, because I'm definitely not a divine creature. You're probably just a product of my imagination. Sorry, I'm going to bed."

Bang!

At that moment, the power in the building went out. The only thing you could see was the thing who assumed you were a biraddali (they were so bright they were like a flashlight in the dark for you).

"Brownout?" you blinked. It felt wrong, though. It was eerily silent. "Did a fuse blow up?"

"Nagsimula na ang iyong unang pagsubok, Y/N," they announced seriously. "Creatures of the dark have already begun to take over this building. You may not have noticed, but all throughout your life, you have always been helping and giving. It is your nature as a being descended from the heavens themselves, and now, it is time for you to accept your destiny."

"Hoy, sandali lang! Sandali, sandali!" You were absolutely wide awake now as you heard the sounds of strange whispers around you. It was terrifyingly creepy, much creepier than whatever you'd seen back in the Trese Residence (and you'd seen a lot in that house). You did not want to be a part of a horror movie-like lifestyle. "Don't I have a choice in this?! I—I don't have any training or fighting skills! Hindi ako Alexandra Trese o Babaylan-Mandirigma! I'm not ready for this, holy sh—"

The candescent creature raised a brow at you, "Inday, I just told you that you have the power of a lost mystical being. And tell me, if you had the power to save your companions in this building from the forces of evil, would you save them?"

You were silent, knowing the answer.

"Well?" they prodded.

You bit your lip, "Oo naman. I'm not heartless!" But you were a little impulsive. And apparently, insane.

"That's what I thought. I just need you to believe in yourself," the being encouraged, gentler this time. It transformed into something smaller and rounder—like a ball of light. "Ikaw ang huling biraddali, Y/N, at marami kang kapangyarihan. Isa dito ay ang pagtulong sa mga nangangailangan, lalo na laban sa masasamang nilalang."

Bestie, what had you just gotten into?

You swallowed apprehensively, then nodded in determination, "Sige. So, how do I save the people in the building? Biraddali were said to be able to shapeshift, right? If I remember the tale correctly. Oh my God, I can't believe this is happening to me right now."

"That's just one of your abilities, but I'll teach you. I'm actually your guide," they replied confidently. "With me, you'll be able to master your powers and exceed your capabilities in no time!"

"Wait! Anong pangalan mo?" you asked breathlessly, following them as they speedily flew out of the room. "Grabe, slow down! I'm not athletic! I haven't even exercised this week, goodness."

"... Gabay. Ako si Gabay."

Despite the adrenaline and fear running in your veins, you still grinned up at the ball of light, "Okay. Nice to meet you, Gabay."

This was just the beginning of your supernatural combat training abroad. When you returned to the Philippines three years later, you were stronger, faster, and more powerful than you'd ever felt before. It was crazy.

Oh, that guy who tried to rob you when you came back to Manila was crazy, too. The two identical-looking men in dark suits and white ties—you wondered how they were surviving the heat in that attire—could only watch in awe as you chased down that man who stole your bag while doing acrobatics and parkour.

"Uy, Kuya Crispin, sino kaya 'yun?"

"Ewan ko, Basilio."

"... She's kind of pretty. Type ko. Type mo rin ata."

"The more important question is, paano niya na nahuli ang magnanakaw?"

"Oo nga, no? One in a million chance 'yan dito sa Maynila, haha! Ang astig ni ate!"

(Next Chapter.)

± Author's Notes ±

Ayieee, type daw tayo ng kambal! 😌

How the hell did I write this entirely random thing in one day? 2k+ words? Ano daw? 😃⁉️

You know, this was supposed to just be a Trese one-shot or a bunch of drabbles for the characters I'm currently simping for... but it turned into a full-blown, shameless self-insert slash crackfic. Kakacellphone ko 'yan. 🤦‍♀️

Nagresearch pa ako ng articles about Filipino skymaidens because I wanted something similiar to the Japanese celestial maidens (tennyo). Very random idea but why not? Gusto ko ng badass Y/N na hindi takot lumaban sa mga mumu! 👻

Also, pagbigyan niyo nalang ang matandang 'to kasi ilang taon na akong hindi nagpopost ng mga writings ko. May track record pa naman ako bilang author na hindi nagtatapos ng mga fanfic, hehe. I also haven't read the comics so please forgive me for any inaccuracies and of course, misspellings/errors. Gusto ko lang matapos 'to para makakabalik na ako sa Jujutsu Kaisen. 🥲😗

Anyways, comments and constructive criticism are welcome! Hit those heart, reblog, and follow buttons for updates! Just comment if you want to be tagged in the next chapters. ❤

Canon hankcon, "birthday" for the prompt, and that's all I'm giving you lmao. Whose birthday? Party or no acknowledgement? Homemade cake with haphazard candles or storebought fancy pants cake? How many birthday kisses from Sumo? I dunno you tell me.

//:3

It wasn’t any particular news that Hank didn’t enjoy his birthday much anymore. It might have been the grief but he had a hard time remembering a time before Cole when he did. It was old news to everyone it seemed except Connor who was waiting by his desk the morning of with a box in his hands. “Connor, what is that?” He asked as he moved to sit at his desk. “It’s a birthday present Hank.” Connor set the small box on his desk, “Isn’t it a human custom to celebrate them?” Hank bit off the annoyed sigh and reminded himself that Connor didn’t know better, “Most people do. When you’re young making it another year is kind of a big deal, but when you get to my age its just a reminder of how many opportunities you’ve missed.” Connor fell onto red for a moment and Hank regretted his words, “Do you want me to take it back?” His LED flickered as he did something in that head of his. “No.” Hank shook his head, “I appreciate it Connor, it was just a surprise. I’m not used to people caring after I spent years asking them not to.” Connor narrowed his eyes as he moved to sit as his desk, “I know now, so it won’t happen again.” This time Hank sighed, “Connor, its okay, I promise.” Connor still didn’t believe him from the looks of it, and Hank hated that he was right. He knew Connor meant well, but they were dancing around an unknown something and every time Connor would do something like this it reminded Hank that the android could do so much better. When he finally climbed out of his own head Hank noticed Connor had gotten to work. His LED was yellow which meant he was thinking about something too, but Hank didn’t have the nerve to ask. He looked down at the small precisely wrapped box and what it was that Connor had decided was worth getting him.

He opened the box as quietly as he could, he didn’t want to pull Connor out of his focus, the brunette hated that. The last thing he expected was concert tickets, they were rested on top of a neatly folded t-shirt. The tickets were for a holographic performance by Frank Sinatra. He set them aside and took out the t-shirt and found it was a signed Knight of The Black Death shirt, it was from one of their older tours and had only been up for bid. He didn’t know how Connor had found it or how much he had paid for it but he knew neither of them had been cheap. “Connor.” He said firmly. Connor came back to himself and tilted his head in question, “You know birthday gifts are supposed to be simple right?” “Yes.” Connor responded, “But they are also supposed to be something you enjoy, and I figured that this would have been better than simple. Jazz is something I know you enjoy, I would have done Knights of The Black Death but they aren’t currently touring.” “So you bought two tickets to one of the best jazz clubs in Detroit and won a bit on an auction only shirt.” Hank remarked. “Yes, I figured you could take a friend with you.” Connor continued, “I figured you would have more fun that way, the shirt took a while to get, but that’s the perk of not needing sleep.” Hank bit back a groan and found himself smiling nonetheless. He didn’t deserve this kind of effort and certainly not from Connor. Not to mention that Connor had seemed to greatly over estimate the number of friends he had. Other than Connor and possibly Jeff he really didn’t know who would want join him. According to the date on the tickets he had until that evening to decide.

He tucked the tickets back into the box and did what he could to focus on his work. His mind kept tracking back to how much thought Connor had put into this, some stupid day of the year to commemorate the mistake that was his life. That Connor had found their friendship for lack of a better word worth burning a few paychecks on. It baffled him. On some level he understood that not many people viewed him in the same light he viewed himself, but the fact that Connor of all people saw him as worth this much effort never failed to knock him off kilter. The day was thankfully slow, his head wasn’t in the right place for case work as it was, he wouldn’t have been able to handle a live one. He was pulled back to attention when Connor began to pack up his things for the day. Hank still needed to talk to him about the jazz club. God, how long had it been since he had asked someone on a date? Could this really even be considered a date if Connor was the one that bought the tickets? “Your vitals say you are distressed Hank. Is there something I can do to help?” Connor was standing with his blazer over his arm, it was a charcoal grey number he had picked out to replace the branded one. “Ah no. I was just thinking too much.” He said, here went nothing he supposed, “Would you like to go with me tonight? To the jazz club?” He didn’t miss the small smile that flashed across Connor’s features before he replied, “I would love too.” Hank nodded as relief crashed over him, “Think you could be ready by eight thirty?” “Of course.” Connor agreed, “I’ll see you then Hank.” He gave a polite wave before he turned to leave. Hank was grinning at his monitor like a damn fool.

He got home with just around two hours to get ready and realized he had nothing to wear that would hold a candle to how Connor would probably wind up looking. He dressed sharply despite being a plain clothes detective so it was certain he would be dressed to the nines for this too. He dug through his closet like a damn teenager looking for something that would fit and look nice. He needed to shower as well but that could wait until after he found something to wear that would be presentable. He decided on black jeans at the very least because he couldn’t be paid to wear slacks even for a maybe date. Then it was on to looking for a shirt which took longer than he would have liked. He eventually settled for a dark teal button down that he didn’t remember ever buying but was thankful to have nonetheless. The shower came next since he did have time, and after that it was just a matter of getting himself to look presentable. He shaved figuring it was time the beard went anyway and then tied his hair back in a half ponytail to keep it out of his face. He debated his glasses for a long moment before he put them on, he technically needed them all the time but he only used them at home to give his eyes a break. Satisfied with the way he looked, he fed Sumo, grabbed his leather jacket, and headed for the car. If he was lucky he would only be a little late to pick up Connor. Hank was not in anyway ready for the way Connor was dressed. He had changed his hair to loose curls and an undercut. He was in a maroon button down under a grey suit vest with black slacks. He was absent of a tie and the first couple buttons of the shirt were undone, and he looked nervous. When he saw Hank his LED rolled yellow and blinked a few times and Hank could have sworn it was red for one of them, but just as quick as it happened it was back to blue. His smile was back in place as he walked to the car.

“You clean up nicely Hank.” Connor said with what Hank was going to take a as a friendly smile because if he looked too much into how Connor had looked at him he was going to combust, “The glasses are a nice touch.” Hank let out a dry laugh, “Only you would find not being able to see attractive.” Connor let out a sound that was distinctly inhuman but still very clearly flustered, “I didn’t- that’s not- its-” He sighed, “That’s not to say that I don’t find you attractive normally.” There was a long stretch of silence after that then Connor seemed to realize what he had said and his LED strobed red. The car was alight with his very clear distress, “Could we maybe pretend that I didn’t just say that.” Hank chuckled lightly, “Of course. It will be just like it never happened.” Of course Hank planned to keep the memory for himself. It confirmed that he hadn’t been imagining whatever this unspoken thing was between them. It was unfortunate that it seemed that for now it would stay unspoken. At least he knew glasses at the very least were the key to getting under Connor’s skin. Maybe he could wear them to the station every once in a while. “For what it’s worth Con, you clean up pretty nice as well.” Hank remarked earning another smile from Connor. “I was worried I might be over dressed.” Connor admitted, “I’ve never been to one of these places before so I wasn’t sure what the dress code was.” Hank shook his head as he pulled into the parking lot, “You look just fine, I promise. If anything, I might be a little underdressed.”

“I think you look nice.” Connor said almost under his breath. Hank didn’t know if it was meant for him to hear, but he responded anyway, “Thanks.” He doesn’t get anymore response than Connor’s index finger cutting into his line of sight, “There’s a parking space four spaces up and to the left.” Hank hummed his acknowledgement and pulled into the space once they got to it. He checked to be sure he had the tickets and then got out. Connor followed suit. They were close enough to bump shoulders as they walked to the doors and Hank couldn’t stop the smile on his lips even if he had been paid. It might not have been a date officially, but that didn’t stop it from feeling like it. There was just something in the air that made it feel that way. After they were admitted Connor took his hand and lead him to a corner table with a clear view of the stage. They were early, there was still about twenty minutes before the opening act so the good tables were almost full. Like the parking space Hank chalked it up to Connor’s keen observation, he always was a few steps ahead of Hank it seemed. “Is this alright?” Connor asked his voice was void of its usual confidence. “Its perfect Connor.” Hank reassured, “There’s nothing to be worried about.” “You seemed upset with this idea earlier.” Connor said without looking at him. He was turned in a way that Hank couldn’t see his LED, “I don’t want you to be uncomfortable.” “Hey.” Hank said sharply which caused Connor to look at him and like Hank had suspected his LED was on red, “I was just surprised. Its been... quite a while since someone had put that much thought into a gift. I love it Connor, and if I’m honest I’m still trying to convince myself that this all is real.”

Connor’s LED flickered and Hank knew he was being scanned. Under any other circumstance he would have found it frustrating but he got the feeling Connor was just as out of his depth as Hank was. He needed to know that Hank was being honest and Hank could give him that much. He apparently found what he was looking for because he smiled. “Then I suppose its a good thing I did.” Connor said after a moment, “Someone has to remind you that you matter.” Hank let out a dry laugh, “Damn Connor, usually you buy a man a drink before you get to the sweet talking.” It was a deflection and a poor one at that if the way Connor narrowed his eyes was anything to go by, “Hank.” “Right, no self deprecating comments.” Hank grumbled, “Do they even have android friendly drinks here. I probably should have thought about that sooner.” “They do, don’t worry.” Connor informed, “But even then, tonight isn’t about me.” Hank’s response was cut off by Connor narrowing his eyes once again, “How about we order a couple of drinks before the show starts.” Connor smiled, “That sounds nice.” Hank took his jacket off and rested it on the table to mark it as taken. Connor stood as well and they headed to the bar together. They were bumping shoulders again and Hank was tempted to take his hand again, but he didn’t. When Connor had taken his hand it was so they wouldn’t get separated by the crowd had settled down for the most part in anticipation for the show. Connor stepped up to the bar to order, “Could we get an Old Fashioned and a Thirium Sunset please?”

Hank wasn’t nearly as surprised that Connor knew what he liked to drink as he was at the fact that he had ordered an alcoholic drink for himself, or at least the android equivalent. The bartender seemed surprised as well but got to work on both drinks. “I didn’t know you drank.” Hank found himself saying. “I don’t usually.” Connor admitted, “But its not very gentlemanly to let your date drink alone.” Hank blue screened at that, he was relatively certain Connor meant it as a turn of phrase but he still hung on the word. Connor was smiling, he seemed glad to catch Hank off guard. The night after that passed in a haze of good music and better and conversation. Hank still had to drive so he stopped after two drinks, but the more Connor had the closer he moved and by the end of the night Connor’s usual perception of personal space was little more than a myth. Hank found he didn’t mind. When it came time to leave Connor’s balance was off so Hank put on of his arms over his shoulder and half packed Connor out of the jazz club. Connor tried his best to walk so it wasn’t as much dragging him as he thought it would be. “You have like, really pretty eyes.” Connor said out of the blue when they were nearly to the car, “They are very expressive.” Hank laughed, “Thank you Con.” He found himself wondering if androids could suffer from hangovers but he found himself sympathetic just in case. He got Connor in the car and belted in which wasn’t all that much of a feat, it seemed the cold air had helped him recover some. He was quiet on the way home, and if it weren’t for the fact that his eyes were roaming around the car Hank would have believed him to be in stasis.

“I think I’m back to normal now.” Connor said as Hank pulled into his complex, “Sorry about that.” Hank just chuckled, “Everyone gets that way when they find a drink they like. On top of that I’m pretty sure its your first time drinking. Getting like that is basically a right of passage.” “I could have at least picked a day other than your birthday to get like this.” Connor sighed as he looked down. Hank found a place to park and reached out to ruffle Connor’s hair, “It was nice to see you let loose for once. Tonight was nice.” Connor smiled, “I’m glad then.” If Hank were to be asked about this, he planned to blame it on his drinks, even if he and Connor both knew it was a lie. It was an out both of them could take if they decided this was a mistake, but it wasn’t enough to stop him from leaning in. The kiss he gave Connor was chaste and not much more than a brush of lips. The one Connor chased it with was the exact opposite and Hank found himself breathless when Connor pulled away. “I’ll see you tomorrow Lieutenant.” He said with a wink as he got out, “Happy Birthday.” Hank watched him walk into the building still waiting for his brain to come back online. Of all the ways he expected tonight to end, this was not one of them. Happy Birthday indeed.

@irrelevantbutfabulous

(Prompt from this list)

Why do you love Blaine so much? Even more than Kurt?

I answered an ask similar to this one a few years back, and to be honest, my response is still "I'm not quite sure." But I will never pass up an opportunity to wax poetically about one Blaine Devon Anderson, so buckle up kids and get comfy.  Hand to god, I really don’t know what it is about him that I gravitated so heavily towards.  Kurt was my favorite character in season 1 and in the beginning of season 2.  He was such an interesting person with so many layers to him and C just embodied him perfectly - all his doubts and insecurities.  The way he felt invisible to the people who were supposed to be his friends.  The way they all so easily dismissed him.  No one wanted to take the time to get to know him...until Blaine.  He wasn’t afraid to touch him and he wasn’t afraid to lock eyes with Kurt for a whole song and then sit down with him and treat him like a person.  This literal stranger who just showed up in his school in the middle of the day who clearly didn’t go there - he could have so easily just walked by or told him where the senior common room was.  He could have basked in the adulation from the student body and ignored Kurt.  But he didn’t, He and the other 2 Warblers invited him for coffee and when he could see without words needing to be spoken that there was something else going on with Kurt, asked them oh so politely (a Blaine hallmark) for some privacy and just waited Kurt out.  Up until this point, Blaine is probably the only other out gay boy Kurt has ever met and the fact that he was so open and nonchalant about it and the other Warblers didn’t bat an eye at his admission must have been so hard to swallow considering what Kurt was going through back at McKinley.  Blaine could see the turmoil on his face and he recognized those feelings and wanted to help.  He wanted to the friend to Kurt that he never had, to let him know that he’s not alone.  So he opened up and shared his experiences from his old school and finally (finally!) here was someone who could relate to what Kurt was going through.  Here was someone who got him on a level that no one else could.  Here was someone just like him.  And in turn, Kurt finds himself sharing things that he would never say to anyone else. To someone he met like 15 minutes ago.  I know a lot of the criticism about Kurt in later seasons is that he come across as cold and aloof and uncaring but I just don’t see that as true.  He’s guarded and honestly - can you blame him?  Look at all the shit that’s been thrown at him his entire life.  Of course he’s careful about what he shares and who he shares it with.  If you were ridiculed for every little thing you said and did and for basically just existing, after a while, you’d be fed up too.  But the fact that he’s vulnerable with Blaine so soon after meeting him tells me there’s a connection there that he never felt with anyone else.  I also think its a connection he never does find outside of Blaine.  I always believed that Blaine is the one person he could tell anything to; we just didn’t get to see it.  This entire encounter plus his going all the way to McKinley to -again - help someone he barely knows confront his bully is just who he is.  He has a huge loving heart that he wears on his sleeve and sometimes that heart gets trampled on.  He’s more emphatic with his emotions than Kurt is, which is why some people think Kurt doesn’t love him as much.  They just have different ways of showing it because they are different people and there’s nothing wrong with that.  I firmly believe that Kurt loves him immensely - I would not ship them together if I didn’t.

Why do I love him so?  He’s sweet and kind and genuine and those things were in short supply on this show.  He wants to be in Kurt’s life so if that’s initially as just friends, then that’s what he’ll be.  He does his best to make him feel at home at Dalton.  He’s never judged him or mocked him.  He doesn’t think the things that Kurt worries about are dumb.  And once his head caught up with his heart and he realized the boy next to him was the missing half of his soul, he took a deep breath, screwed up his courage, and took a chance on potentially messing up a friendship if Kurt didn’t feel the same way anymore.  But he did and it was perfect.  So so perfect.  He loved Kurt enough to know that Dalton wasn’t where he really wanted to be, so even if it was breaking his heart to let him go, he wanted what was best for him even if that wasn’t what was best for Blaine.  He pushed down his demons and his fear to ask Kurt to dance in front of the whole class at prom because he wasn’t about to let him fall if there was something he could do about it.  He genuinely thought of the Warblers as his friends and didn’t want to up and leave them short, but ultimately, his desire to be with Kurt outweighed staying, so he left his safety net at Dalton and was excited to be part of the ND.  He never demanded solos or the spotlight like some other people (coughcoughRachel) and even when Finn was being an absolute asshole to him for months on end, he still did his best to just be part of the group.  He didn’t take the bait from Finn when he pointedly gave a competition solo to Rory as he basically dared Blaine to pull a Rachel and screech like an indignant pterodactyl and storm out of the choir room as she did every time she didn’t get her way.  He continued to needle Blaine at every turn and then seemed surprised when he finally snapped. He of all people should know that you can only push someone so far before they blow, considering Santana did the same thing to him earlier in the season.  And she was the only one who correctly called him out on his jealousy of Blaine and when he did make his lame half-assed apology to him, Blaine - being the magnanimous person he is and not wanting to make anymore waves with his boyfriend’s brother - not only accepted said lame apology but asked what he could do as well.  These are Kurt’s “friends” and all he wanted was to be included.  They were never welcoming to him at all.  No one told Finn to lay off him and grow the fuck up.  They were ready to tar and feather him and branded him a traitor for accidentally spilling their set list for Regionals to Sebastian, and then 5 minutes after he was nearly blinded, were all pitchforks and torches and out for revenge for him.  He stayed late to help Puck study for that history test he needed to pass in order to graduate and only received a backhanded compliment as thanks.  All of them can bite me.  McKinley was a black hole for him in so many ways.  And I cannot not mention the fact that he organized the biggest most intricate most romantic of romantic proposals anyone has ever seen for Kurt...because he knows that Kurt loves a big giant spectacle.  The kind of spectacle he saw in movies and imagined as he was marrying off his Power Rangers but never thought he’d be the recipient of.  But Blaine knows this because he knows Kurt and he wants to give him a magical moment in time that he will remember forever; a moment where everyone in ear shot can see just how loved he is.  (Side note: I want to punch all the people who say that Blaine did this publicly just to guilt him into saying yes.  And if he’d gone the cliched route and stuck the ring in a piece of cheesecake in a restaurant, they’d have whined that he couldn’t be bothered putting any effort into this proposal and Kurt deserves someone who would make a fuss over him and my brain would explode over the hypocrisy of it all.  Fuck - and I cannot emphasize this enough - right off.)

In addition to loving him, I feel the most mama bear of protective vibes towards him.  No matter how much shit Kurt had to deal with, he always had his dad.  Burt was 100000000% in his corner at all times, no questions asked. “Your job is to be yourself and my job is to love you.”  What kid wouldn’t want to hear that from their parent?  So regardless of how awful the rest of the world was to him, Burt was there to make it a little bit better.  I get the feeling that Blaine has no one like that in his life.  No one.  How is that not terribly sad?  The only light we  get into the Anderson family is his story to Burt about how his dad thought working on a car might make him straight.  Doesn’t sound like a very supportive loving environment to grow up in.  He’s certainly not someone Blaine would ever confide in or go to with questions.  We get zero info on his mom and only find out he has an older brother in 3x15 and once he and Cooper have made peace, he’s promptly never mentioned again.  But there’s clearly about a decade between them, Cooper doesn’t live in Ohio, and like Finn in a way, he seemed to spend most of his time criticizing Blaine for well, everything.  I get the feeling that his parents just don’t care about him very much.  They paid for him to go to Dalton so he would be physically safe and they wouldn’t have to deal with him.  2 birds, one stone.  But what kind of invested parent would then allow their child to leave their pricey private school to go enroll in a disaster zone like McKinley because they want to be with their boyfriend?  No parent I can think of, so again, that leads me to believe that they really don’t care what he does.  And those Warblers that he thought were his friends?  How hurt do you think he was after learning the slushy was really for Kurt, the Warblers were  all in on it (even if they didn’t know about the rock salt, they still went along with a plan to humiliate someone who was himself a Warbler not too long ago), and none of them bothered to check in on him?  Or wonder why something that was supposed to be innocuous turned out to be anything but?  They all just turned and walked away and couldn’t even send Kurt a follow up text to ask about him?  My poor sweet boy would have been crushed and rightly so.  He must feel like he has Kurt and that’s it.  Perhaps that’s why he holds on so tightly - maybe sometimes too tightly.  Kurt’s the only one who’s ever returned his affection and that’s not something he wants to give up.  He wants the world to see the Kurt that he sees when he looks at him and he can’t understand why it won’t even try.

Is he perfect?  Of course not.  No one is.  Does he do dumb things sometimes, as teenagers are want to do?  Yes.  Does he do it out of spite or with malicious intent? NO.  Would he ever send a rival to a crackhouse, active or not?  No, because he’s not a shrieking jealous harpy.  Would he ever gaslight a teammate into developing an eating disorder by intentionally sewing their performance costumes smaller and smaller?  Nope.  My love for him never wavered.  Not once.  Not even 4x04 could make me turn on him and that is saying something because there were plenty of shows I walked away from when the writers took things too far and had characters I adored behave in the most OOC ways.  I’m not even going to talk about season 6 because there’s OOC and then there’s the clusterfuck of deliberately cruel and unusual punishment that was passed off as those final 13 episodes.  I hated nearly every single second of them. They were wasted, their throwaway wedding was treated as an afterthought, and then they were promptly ignored and shoved to the background again.  I’ve never been repeatedly kicked in the heart, but I imagine it feels something like watching that did.  

So in summary: he’s kind, he’s sweet, he’s smart, he’s a little bit oblivious about things but its part of his charm, he loves with whole being, and he doesn’t do anything half way.  He is sunshine and rainbows and an excited puppy and I will defend him till the end of my days.  He’s a captivating performer who belongs on the stage who hooked me body and soul from his first song.  I give all the credit to Darren for him because I know that if someone else had played him, I would not have had the same reaction.

Thank you for coming to my TED talk/master’s thesis discussion.  I hope you’ve enjoyed your stay.

danny phantom season 2, episode 17-20 thoughts! finishing up season two! the finale is the THIRD 2-PARTER OF SEASON 2. that's so many! I wonder how many season 3 will have?

see prev episode thoughts in this tag <3

-UERGH WHY DOES VLAD HAVE AN AI WITH MADDIE'S FACE ON IT. SOOO CREEPY. AND MORE 'CREATIONS' waiiiit. vlad is Dr. Frankenstein! (despite his ghost design obviously referencing vampires) HE HAS 'CREATIONS' HE MAKES THEN WONT TAKE REAL RESPONSIBILITY FOR!!! this bitch.

-danny was late and his friends immediately start going off about how hes inconsiderate, and has been treating them like sidekicks??? he just overslept, my god. chill. even if he has, be nicer about talking about it with him?? he really can't help that he sometimes has to chase the ghosts, or has a secret identity to protect...

-'what kind of ghost haunts a miniature golf course' umm. me as a ghost. next question

-imagine going home and theres a tiny child on your bed claiming to be your cousin. with as many cousins I have, I would probably believe her. but the 'ran away from home' BIT....SHES 12?? SHES SO TINY. I hate that they have her belly out in her ghost form, but I like how her colors are asymmetrical. something about her design...maybe the proportions?? are weird to me...anyway danny was good to feed her, but he shouldve taken her to his parents FIRST. or, tbh, probably jazz. (JAZZ DIDNT EVEN GET TO MEET HER!!! NOOO. I mean she said she'll be BACK BUT STILL)

-ANYWAY. shes voiced by AnnaSophia Robb, the girl who was in because of winn dixie, played as violet from charlie and the chocolate factory, and was the girl from bridge to terrabithia. (the movie that made me cry hysterically when I was 12 and I never watched it again because it Broke Me!) thats super cool.

-vlad sucks: the episode, basically. what's new!! I love how he's like, I'm Not A Villain. *immediately cuts to him torturing danny to make him transform, to get mid-transformation DNA, to perfect a Clone.* *immediately shows that he doesnt give a shit about his new daughter Dani and just wants a ''more perfect clone'' and will put her in danger to get that. will let her DIE to get that*

-Dani is danny's clone and is a girl? transgenderism....one of them has to be trans. or they both are.

-dani just. leaving at the end. WHAT? SHES 12. DONT JUST. NO!!! SHE WAS PROBABLY JUST BORN, A MONTH AGO AT MOST, RIGHT?? SHE NEEDS...SOMEWHERE TO LIVE. MONEY? FOOD?? A FAMILY?? AN EDUCATION???! WHAT DO YOU MEAN SHE'S LEAVING!!! OKAY BYE I GUESS!!! D: concern!!!

-the next ep opens with skulker chasing a ghost down. ...does skulker count as a ghost hunter in the way valerie and danny do? I mean, sure, he hunts the good guys too, but he. he hunts ghosts...also, we haven't seen his Real Form since his debut episode! tiny...

-the guys in white are back! ngl, I assumed they were a gag for that one episode. you're telling me they might actually be a threat? ok.

-valerie in her lil nasty burger uniform looks so cute!! glad shes not in that mascot uniform this time. I guess she stopped hiding that she's working there now?

-gregor having white hair, dressed in black and white...and green eyes...sam has a Type, I guess.

-danny being unnecessarily hostile about gregor. danny!!! hes been nice so far. he looks a little...tall to be 14, but. danny doesnt know anything about him! (he does Suspect, but...you cant just spy on people and be rude to them from a hunch.) also, gregor kissed her, and when she freaked out, he was like 'oh no!! sorry, we can take it slow! I understand!' which was NICE. I hate jealousy plots still tho.

-altho. umm. tucker, being concerned about danny spying on them??? SAM AND YOU WERE SPYING ON DANNY AND VALERIE A FEW EPISODES AGO!!!!! im not saying its RIGHT, but dont be a hypocrite!!! AND THEN SAM BEING MAD ABOUT IT, TOO.

-DANNY IS A 7 ON THE SCALE OF ECTOPLASMIC POWER!!! out of 10? so I want to know where the other ghosts rank...I mean it's a list from the guys in white, so, it may not even be accurate, like, they havent seen ALL of his powers, have they?

-Lancer being like 'im not cooperating with the FEDS' until they said they could access his tax records. they already did that joke with jack, but like, its still funny. kings of tax evasion.

-tucker's aggressive third-wheeling. but gregor being super into it. gregor/tucker is the real ship here. then gregor kissing danny on both cheeks after hugging him. bi poly king gregor. (he does turn out to be a liar with a phoney accent. unsurprising, BUT THE CONCEPT OF HIM BEING GENUINE AND THEM ALL DATING IS FUN)

-THE...GUYS IN WHITE THINKING GREGOR IS DANNY PHANTOM. LMAOOO. GET HIS ASS. or,, Elliot. lmfao

-sam saying tucker is part of the package because theyre friends was super sweet <3 but also 'part of the package'...polyships are obviously the solution to these dumb jealousy/love triangle plots.

-danny crashed a whole plane. the collateral damage...

-is he....

-you know....

.... (ITS NOT GAY IF YOU'RE DOING IT TO PRETEND TO BE SOMEONE YOU'RE NOT, AND LIE TO A GIRL. RIGHT? he was getting a little too into pretending to enjoy tucker's company, and the above...c'mon, guy.)

-lmao, freakshow is in actual prison. I didn't expect a follow up, or for him to show back up! in the finale of this season, too!

-THE SICK TATTOO GHOST IS NAMED LYDIA!!! more Lore On her. freakshow seemed genuinely concerned about her. also, is she mute? I don't think she talked the first time we saw her, either. and we didn't know freakshow 'envied' ghosts, either, the first time, we just knew he was controlling them. interesting!

-...they literally stole the infinity gauntlet from marvel and called it the reality gauntlet. is that legal. what the fuck. even with the gems in the lil slots, having different powers...they had freakshow in jail, but didnt check his pockets??! hes just still in his lil outfit??? what kind of ...oh, its in amity park. yeah, all of the adults are idiots, okay, sure.

-'freakshow!' 'in the anemic flesh!' dude take some iron pills then. also, sure, the red eyes could be contacts for his aesthetic, but the whites of his eyes are yellow! does he have jaundice?! he severely needs more...like, every kind of vitamin. (this is what im worried about as freakshow attacks danny with giant robots)

-again, goth circus is a sick theme, and I love his goth train.

-oh FUCK every single person saw danny transform. on a stage. including his parents via TV. oh god. the guys in white and immediately like 'youre coming in for experiments!' SCARY. at least the crowd is willing to help him to escape...perks of now being a local celeb! even the kids at school are accepting :) this is what, the third time his family has found out? its always been an alt timeline tho. and danny fully intending to just rewrite things again instead of...I dunno, trying to roll with it this time? hes really worried his family won't accept him, huh...

-'maybe our son IS THE GHOST BOY, but its not as if our family's ghostly activities have EVER PUT YOUR FAMILIES IN DANGER' maddie. mmmmmmmmmmmm. okay.

-danny 100% prepared to run away from home because of this :( oh :( and saying his parents are 'looking for him, or a scalpel to dissect him with' ouch...

-THE GUYS IN WHITE TRYING TO ARREST A 14 YEAR OLD. fuck da feds.

-side note (another one about voice actors...) freakshow's voice actor, Jon Cryer, was lex luthor in pretty much every DC tv show, which is why I recognized his voice, because my dad loves those shows so I've seen a good bit of them without seeking them out...)

-the old man saying 'hey, i still had minutes left!' and danny saying 'you gotta watch those roaming charges!' about danny destroying the people in the diner's phones so no one could report seeing him...would kids today understand these things. can you even BUY minutes anymore...I remember my first phone being a flip phone, and the fact I always had minutes when my sister ran out super fast, because I didnt have friends calling or texting me like she did...:/

-the fentons being genuinely like 'why didnt danny trust us and tell us this, we love him :(' and JAZZ LAYING INTO THEM WITH THE 'DISSECTION/MOLECULE BY MOLECULE' LINES. LITERALLLLY. they need to apologize

-technically, lydias stronger than you! -jazz lesbianism moments! when did you even learn her name!!! but also get freakshows ass. lydia is also cooler looking. looove her design sm still.

-jazz psychoanalyzing freakshow... (also, her also having ghost envy? au where jazz is a ghost!! id like to see it)

-im glad the kids still got to go to their respective vacation things, even if they cant really stick around and enjoy them much...

-furry: confirmed. (also tucker calling her hot. tucker is a furry confirmed)

-danny being mad someone at the comic con is selling comics of him without permission, lmfao. give him his royalties!

-freakshow > thanos because hes a drama clown and does use his gauntlet to be FLASHY AND DRAMATIC.

-jazz's 'USE PYSCOLOGY' to danny about freakshow LMAOO. AND THEN IT WORKING. but, oh, freakshow's ghost form sucks. I like him as a clown better tbh. good thing danny took away his ghost powers!

-his parents hugging him and saying theyre proud :"( and saying 'of course you lied to us, we never gave you a reason not to!' and saying they were in the wrong basically for always talking about hurting ghosts aaaa :""(

-then he WIPED THEIR MEMORIES AGAIN!!! FUCK. I can understand him wiping the goverments/student bodies' memories, but why his parents?? they were being accepting!! ARGHHH. season 3 couldve been them all trying to adjust to them knowing!

-I know, on a meta level the showrunners probably wanted to just reset things to the status quo of him having a secret identity. But. We've been doing that for (2) seasons, I'd love if season 3 could be like, his parents adjusting to this and trying way harder to learn more and accept it (and the shenanigans that could come from that) and for fun, if he didn't wipe the students memories, it could be him being popular for a while, then everyone slowly realizing, oh, he's still Danny. Like. he might have ghost powers but hes Just The Same Guy instead of putting him on a pedestal (and seeing them all try and help him hide it from the giw/people who don't know!!)

-fuck they didn't even explain WHY he wiped everyone except sam, tucker and jazz's memories. he just Did It right when his parents were saying they loved/accepted him!! and sam and tucker didnt question it at all!!! HELLO??? very annoyed about this turn of events.

-anyway. onto season 3! I know its shorter than the first two seasons, and is the last season... I might just do it in 2 bursts if I can... :3c depends on the episodes' content and how much I want to say about each!

My thoughts and all the things I love about Lovely Us (2020)

This drama really surprised me with how good it was written and made despite already knowing that this is highly rated by my cdrama mutuals. First ep right off the bat made me laugh and cry. The following eps kept the flow really well and established the characters and their relations. Before I know it, I'm already in love and attached to the characters and everything about this drama. It's very charming, calming and heartwarming to watch. The acting, writing, execution, ost, and production are well-done.

Set in 2007, this is another drama with nostalgic vibe that will remind you of your childhood and probably teenage years as well of your old neighborhood and the people you used to hang out with when you're younger. Even though I'm kinda fed up with childhood friends to lovers trope by now, this one did it the right way. Romance is slowburn but the buildup isn't slow at all. The main cp are so cute despite the daily bickerings that you just can't help but root for them to be together. It also have unrequited love trope where you'll see the character continuously root for that person and not expecting anything in return. There's no antagonist/evil characters in this story, just your feel-good slice-of-life drama with a touch of teenage romance in it.

Another strong point this drama have is the friendship and family dynamics. The five main leads have such amazing and solid friendship and their chemistry with each other is very natural to watch you'll wish you have the kind of friendship they have. It's endearing how their respective families are friends with one another and the parents have absolute trust with their children even allowing them to stay in closed room, have overnight at their house without adult supervision and even go to outdoor camping sharing one tent. It's refreshing to see how they showcased different parenting styles in each household and the parents aren't portrayed as someone controlling, instead they understand and communicate with their children. There's even one case wherein a parent realized he's doing it wrong so he asked for advice and help from his son's friend in order to get closer with his son.

Unlike other dramas, this one never drags out misunderstandings and touches the issue in the most heartwarming way that it never felt annoying or frustrating to watch, instead I became emotional at those moments that I can't help but shed a tear or ugly cry.

The characters are funny, full of mischief but sweet and thoughtful on the inside. It's a delight to watch them get together and have their little meetings, bicker and help each other out.

The ost will surely stay on repeat in my playlist for the next few days or weeks even. The song choices fit the mood so well and I find myself heavily lss-ed with the opening song. The song "Can I See You Tomorrow?" gives off the ultimate nostalgic vibe and reminds me of one ISWAK ost.

What really stood out to me the most are the moments in each ep wherein a certain character will narrate his/her thoughts about love, life, and family. They're beautifully and oftentimes poetically written matching with flashback scenes that made the dialogue even more heartfelt.

Here are some of the lines that are deeply engraved in my heart because they are beautifully written and will really go well as book passages:

"Once people become parents, their memory begins to become biased. They always remember they are their children's most reliable parents, but often forget that they are also children loved by their own parents. When they are waiting for their children to come back home, they forget that their own parents are also waiting for their return in a similar mood."

"The audio frequency of the sound when a snowflake falls on the water surface is over 50,000 Hz. Because it falls beyond human being's hearing range, this snowy day is still so quiet that it seems I can only hear my own heartbeat and that it seems there is only me and the person in front of me on this planet with a population of 6.6 Billion. I hope this world can be noiser so that I can pretend that I've never discovered this secret."

"They think that the probability is just 0.01, so they put on the emperor's new clothes, trying to hide their affections with magic. But affections are not that easy to hide. Even if the probability is pretty low, it will be revealed at a certain moment. So on that rainy night, while looking at her back, he found that the most obvious evidence of falling in love with her was the feeling of easement in his heart and the smile on his face when he looked at her."

"You think nothing will change as time flies by. But this time, the moment you let go and turn around, some things completely changed. The sun went down and before it rises again, some people will leave you forever. We always thought that there would be a big ceremony to say goodbye, so we keep waiting for a warm hug, a refreshing drink, and a heartfelt goodbye, but in the end, we realized that most goodbyes in our lives are all silent."

"At that silent corner in my mind, there are a number of weird illusions. For example, can I become Alice who enters the wonderland with White Rabbit? For example, can I become the little girl who enters the forest with Totoro? For example, is there some special switch in this box which can teleport me? No, none of them exist. There's no flying dragons or knights, and I'm not the heroine of some comics for girls, either. However, the only thing I'm sure about is that this escape greatly shocks my world. My palms would sweat, and my sight would be indistinct. Then my view becomes narrower and narrower until there's room for only one person in my eyes. After a long time, I know such a moment is named adventure, in which the one in your eyes is irreplaceable."

"The familiar chirping of cicadas on summer nights, the familiar bear doll who must lean by the lamb, the familiar lovely girl who frowns even when she sleeps, and the 17-yr-old time wrapped by the sense of familiarity never seem to have changed. The only difference is that when I look at the familiar him, I feel a flurry and uneasiness that I have never expected."

"There are many new days like today. Today, he holds my hand. Today, he holds me in his arms. Today, he carries me on his back and runs in the street in the early morning. Many days with him like today will eventually become my unforgettable past days. I'll remember days like today for a long time."

"Friendship means so much to us. It brings us close, and makes me flinch, so sometimes we just tell ourselves that as long as we're together, I can be just a friend of hers. But the taxi that I failed to catch, the phone calls that have been hung up, the time that's flying and my restless heart are telling me eagerly that in this world, both love and friendship are important. Every detail related to you is reminding me that we can't be just friends. So when it's still not too late, I have to tell you the things that I want to tell you as soon as possible. Huang Chengzi, I like you."

"In this world, it seems like all wishes have a guardian. Wishing wells, shooting stars, the aquarium's white whale. They're all hiding in the corners of the universe caressing the sorrow of loving someone alone. It's just that the god of happiness can't bless everyone out there. They let some people be happy and their wishes come true, and let some be sad, but they can't admit how sad they really are. The feeling of being in love is like a butterfly gently flapping its wings, that stirs up a hurricane in people's hearts. The second you realize it, then there's no escape."

Haven’t met you yet | Mark

Masterlist (1/4) | part2 - part3 - part4

Starring: MK x You

Tags: Mark Tuan, Fluff, Destiny, Waiting, Christmas, Bookworm, Nerd, Love, Fate

Total WC: 2631

Foreword: You promise yourself you’re going to wait for the perfect love even if it takes forever but you’re already barging on it’s doorstep without even realizing that love has met you already in the first place.

It’s all about timing and seeking reassurance in all the right places.

It’s a chance you never want to miss and an opportunity that you wouldn’t trade for anything.

Learn to take risks and learn to fall in love along the way. Cause true love is patient and it’ll come when you least expect it.

Have you been good all year round? You never know what Santa has in stored for you this Christmas.

[Feel free to listen on the playlist that I made for this one shot :)))]

"Eunhee, I should probably take a break from your endless blind date setups. Nothing is working out for me, seriously." You heaved a sigh, slouching on the couch as you gave your best friend an exasperated look the moment you entered her humble bookshop. She's too excited for your love life ever since she and her long-time university crush Jackson became an official couple on your birthday when you celebrated it on Jeju last year. It was a really cold New Year’s Eve when you chose to reserve this romantic restaurant by the beach as the venue for your special day. Eunhee doesn't have any idea about Jackson's plan when you booked a flight to Jeju Island for a week despite the busy season. Since you wanted to play the fairy godmother role for the both of them, you saved Jackson from worrying and suggested that he'd do it on your birthday instead. And just like that, they spent the New Year countdown melting into each other’s puddle while greeting you a happy birthday. The things you do for your friend, if that ain’t salty for your part (it is, for being the third wheel), automatically elected you as the sole Queen of singles club after Neun’s grand exit.

 Since their anniversary is just around the corner, they are planning to spend it once again on Jeju and Eunhee, for being the supportive sister from another mother that she is, will surely drag you with them at all costs since it has been your tradition to celebrate New Year’s Eve with your best friend. She is dying to set you up with someone so you won't be celebrating your birthday alone anymore.

 "I'm sorry, Y/N. I thought you and my friend Hae In will work out. What happened by the way? tell me about your date." She sat beside your spot after closing the shop and did the honor of pouring you a glass of your favorite merlot. This girl knows how to calm you down for sure. I mean she isn't your best friend if she have no idea that wine is your comfort drink. For whatever reason it is, you don't know why it helps to lessen your loneliness by drinking the night away. Maybe knocking you down into a deep slumber and finding yourself completely clueless the next day, alongside the horrible hangover can patch up the painful truth that you are still single up to this point of your life. In addition to the earthly and God-sent smell of neatly piled books crowding the interior of her paradise, Eunhee's bookshop is your go-to place at all times. You used to frequent this a lot during your childhood days where you first met her and together you shared the same passion and love for books and wine through all these years.

 "He's too overrated for my type. Like I don't know why we need to talk about all of his exes and why his relationship with them didn't work out when we can sit and be comfortable with just talking about our interests, 'us' the present and not his past. He's a perfectionist per se and I don't like it when a guy shows disinterest whenever I told them about myself as some nerdy bookish girl who craves for a netflix kind of night compared to his ideal dream girl-next-door whom you can freely bring to a club the minute next." You look down on the red liquid in your glass, appreciating its refined and classic smell that is clouding your nostrils. You're way too excited to go home so you can finally sink on your newly changed bed sheets and savor the enticing smell of fabric conditioner which you cannot live without. You glanced outside the window, observing the couples walking together under the falling snow, as if Valentines day has come all of a sudden in the middle of December. Red roses are a popular gift for the ladies as you've observed and you cannot help yourself from wondering if someone will ever give you flowers on Christmas, particularly pink roses, which you really admire. You always dreamt of tending a bed of pink roses only for yourself because the sight of it makes you really happy. It's just unfortunate that they aren't in full bloom during this season that's why you can only wait for February to come so you could save the trouble of finding a lame date and just buy yourself a bouquet for Valentines. You can give yourself flowers and still feel like in a relationship with all the fictional characters on your novels. No one is stopping you from dating them in your mind, you thought.

 “Ugh I can’t believe that guy. I thought he’s a good catch but actually a bummer for real. Don’t worry, I’ll choose better next time." She gave you a warm hug, patting your head as you lay your cheek on her shoulder. She released you and you gave her an 'I'm-okay-don't-worry' kind of smile. And you sat there for almost an hour talking about your other failed blind dates in the past week that all belongs in either Jackson or Eunhee's circle. You have no idea why none of them matched your personality. Either they are too wild or too boring for them to function as your potential boyfriend. No one could really captivate your specific taste in a guy. It's not that you are too picky and have a high standard when it comes to scouting a lover. You just have your own preferences when it comes to choosing someone whom you'll devote your precious time into. No relationship is perfect because everything is built out of flaws, misunderstandings, heartaches and drama but if you'll enter in a commitment at least choose someone who's worthy of that pain. You aren’t getting any younger and all you need right now is someone reliable, honest and trustworthy enough to not waste your feelings and emotion. You need a serious guy who will not take you for granted and who welcomes the idea of settling in the near future. At least someone with a nice job? Or a bearable attitude, outlook and philosophy in life? He doesn't need to be the most handsome or richest guy in the planet. After all, you always talk to God about giving you with someone who will really love all your imperfections and flawed nature. You always pray to the heavens above that maybe he'll cross the mountains and bring you the moon and the stars like they always did on the movies and in stories but you're fed with too much fantasy and began to think that maybe the guy for you was rather inexistent or an alien inhabiting a distant galaxy located in a million light years away.

 "A break is all I need after all. I will be fine tomorrow at Christmas eve. Don't worry about me having a date on our dinner. I'll bring some macarons as an antidote for all things bitter for you and Jackson's couple party." It's your best friend’s first Christmas with her boyfriend that's why they are throwing a mini gathering for their family and close friends. You had this feeling that you will be the only one attending the party without a date so might as well go straight to the kitchen and grab a bottle of whatever wine you can get and spend the evening dancing on tipsy toes and the floor would be very much pleased to accommodate your drunken needs. But you will not gonna end up wasted on a party especially Eunhee will not be there beside you to take you home since you do not want to rob Jackson of his time with her. Their happiness always matters before you and that's what makes you happy, to see your best friend happy with the man that he really deserves.

 "All right sweetcheeks. We'll not let you feel gloomy on Christmas eve. Good girls get a reward from Santa so you have nothing to worry about." She gave you a wink and clanked your glasses in unison as you both emptied the bottle of wine to your heart's content. You both agreed to watch a romantic holiday movie over a shared furry blanket and hear out your friend as she talked to you mostly of his boyfriend, as if you’ve read a book about the guide to 101 ways on how to fall for Jackson. Maybe the love bug bit too hard on your friend now that she really has the man of her dreams right on her fingertips, she can’t ask for anything else. Their love story is too underrated and you’re one of the living witnesses that a coin is never wasted on a wishing well. If you only joined Eunhee on her wishing spree every time you both pass by your University’s fountain of love, your coin bank would have gone empty by now. But you didn’t do it and saved all of your coins for yourself cause you really enjoy playing basketball in the arcades for fun. For all you can remember way back in college days, your friend is just one of the many timid girls who are cheering and admiring the ever-famous fencing athlete, business student and heartthrob, Jackson. You have classes together with him and that is how your job as a love guru began. You really deserve a raise because you did succeed on making them a couple. You could set up a dating agency and earn better than your current job for all you care. But amidst all the love advice that you gave to them, you’re the complete opposite of a matchmaker. Because love never finds your way despite making love work for the others. Love is sweet but a bitch most of the time.

 If love finally came to Eunhee and Jackson, hopefully yours would come in a whirlpool, sweeping you off of your feet and rendering all the other love stories made in the history irrelevant. You love spontaneity and you’re up for the extraordinary. In fact, you already made a dozen of playlists on spotify and counting, awaiting to be dedicated to him. You may have weird habits, like using ketchup as a dip for your honey glazed donuts, and still act straight and sit the whole day finishing a book with your favorite espresso at coffee shops. You love taking midnight trips to the art museum and you wonder if he can appreciate the abstract the way it makes your soul come alive. You love travelling back to time and studying history and it would be a bonus if he’ll join you on the 3% mint choco enthusiasts in the whole world. And your list goes on and on and it’ll take a lifetime to introduce yourself to someone but you want to meet him soon. You can’t wait for that time to annoy the hell out of him and if he still chooses to come back after your endless nagging, that’s the time when you’re not gonna let go of him anymore. You know for yourself, you’re looking for an almost perfect individual but you’re ready to tear up your never ending list of your ideal guy if someone could really surprise you and made you want to look at the world in a different dimension. After all, an ideal can never be achieved in real life. You cannot make someone ‘the one’ but you can only search for someone and make them ‘your one’. Things may not come out the way you want them to be but things will work out if he’s your destiny. It might be hard to find the rarest form of love, which is true love, but you’re willing to go on a train trip bound to a destination you’ve never been to given that he’ll meet you at the end of the tunnel. Love isn’t hard. Love is supposed to be easy. You just need patience and it’ll come to you when you least expect it.

 It's nearing 11 pm already when you feel lightheaded because of your wine intake and maybe due to the fact that your early sleeping schedule has been breached by tonight's unfortunate event. You bid goodbye to your friend despite her invitation that you should just sleep on her place and decided to call for an uber to save yourself from zoning out like a zombie because you can no longer walk straight with your clouded vision. Eunhee lives upstairs her bookstore because she manages her family's business when her father passed away that's why she isn't living with you anymore. You've grown to be independent now that you're living on your own after sharing the same apartment with your friend during your university days.

 "Tomorrow night at 8. I'll text you the address. Don't be late, Y/n. Have a goodnight!” Eunhee tucked you up nicely on your seat and soon the taxi sped up passing underneath the city lights in the mood for the radio's yuletide playlist. You're a bit drunk to see clearly but you can recognize the faint Christmas lights flickering throughout the busy streets. In just half an hour, the uber came to a stop and you hopped off the cab as you made your way towards the entrance of the condo that you’re residing in. You walked past the concierge and romantic music is donning the halls screaming love is in the air but not for you cause it makes you suffocated. Inside the elevator you noticed that you'll join a couple on your way to a 5-minute trip to the 12th floor. You silently wished that nobody would enter in between floors so as not to slow down your fast lane to your unit or else it'll be another episode of 'You-are-single-fgds' slapping your face. Geez, you badly want a damn break but the couple is too absorbed in their own selves, doing whatever cringey couple thing it is behind you, so you chose to ignore their reflection on the elevator walls.

 God spared you for that ride and luckily you reached the 12th floor in the fastest speed possible. You walked in a crazy zigzag pattern when you reached the front step of your door and you held on the handle to prevent yourself from falling directly on the ground. Your eyes are zooming in for the door lock as you punch in your keycode multiple times and still wonder why the door isn't granting you any access at all.

 "The fudge why aren't you opening?" You tried all possible combinations already but to no luck, you are still denied. For the 10th time, the lock gave up on you and is now urging for a password reset when all of a sudden the heavens finally heard your prayer and the door automatically opened. You fell towards a pair of arms, as if on cue you are saved once again from falling directly on the floor. You grabbed on a pair of shoulders, and you felt like you've reached your bed already as your senses are welcomed with a lovely scent of fabcon, which for you is the sweetest scent in the world.

 "Hmm. I can finally sleep now." You smiled the moment you felt safe and secured within the parameters of what you think of as your bed.

"Wait, you cannot sleep on my arms." It's too late for you to wake up because you're already dozing off to dreamland.

"Oh shoot. What am I gonna do with you?" You barged into someone's room and you haven't had the slightest idea of what you'll gonna do the next morning when you wake up.

Ma and Pa James's Second Biggest Fan (we plough a lonely furrow) continues to find Ma Jess's appeal mystifying, since everything about her is negative:

1. Signing up for Team Rocket suggests someone of a morally dubious character to start with, but the truth lies in the clothing, and she's in black!

Black!

It's code for her personality:

• Jessie wears white:

Pure, beautiful, innocent, sweet-natured, not really bad, dealt a severe hand in life but a fighter.

• Cassidy wears black:

EVIL!!! EVIL, EVIL, EEEEEEVUL!!! FOUL SIRENIC TEMPTRESS!!! EVIL HEARTLESS BITCH STEALING JAMES'S NEVER-BEFORE-SEEN WEEPINBELL!!!

Speaking of which:

2. She was Madame Boss's best agent.

You don't get there being kind.

To reach that standing requires hundreds of successful heists, and we aren't talking nicking gold bars. It's living things.

How many Pokémon do you imagine she stole with merciless efficiency?

How many children did she set upon, pinching every animal they had?

How many innocent lives did she ruin by depriving kids of the pets they loved, never to see them again, eaten away with the not-knowing and the false hope?

The glory of her reign ran on the fuel of blood and tears.

What fate do you envision awaited those Pokémon? It's not exchanging one master for another, it's entering slavery.

Jessie and James aren't the epitome of Team Rocket. They are minnows on the outskirts, despised and mocked by most of their fellow members. The actual group isn't particularly famous for prioritizing Pokémon welfare.

The preferable outcome is being handed out to agents to help catch other victims. Otherwise it's transformation into a war machine, forced to fight on and on to the point of exhaustion and death, no doubt tortured and tested on to boot.

What happens if they don't come up to scratch or are pushed for years until too aged and broken to be of any use? Are Team Rocket ready to pension them off to animal sanctuary?

As if. It's euthanasia or on to the streets to waste away, if not fed to the strongest first.

Ma Jess knew this and worse occurred thanks to her, yet paid it no mind, and felt not a single twinge of guilt in that time of service, then met her end trying to draw another Pokémon into imprisonment.

Some might say it was a case of what goes around, comes around. As her behaviour led to God knows how many Pokémon dying alone, leaving their loved ones to wonder and grieve, so in turn did she die alone in the snow, and Jessie had to carry on without her.

I'm not against Ma Jess, I neither feel like or dislike, but I don't understand how so many fans can happily overlook her murky past of inflicting pain, instead elevating her to a semi-divine tragic heroine, yet apparently Ma and Pa's heinous offences of not stealing and treating Pokémon well are beyond forgiveness.

3. It's the Red Ribbon Army! Save yourselves!

Jessie joined Team Rocket to follow in Ma's footsteps. James went with her. Both moved (upwardly in scale, downwardly in morals) from Sunny Town's gang of petty thief kids to a complex Mafia organisation stretching its wriggling tentacles around the world to crush the air from its lungs.

Why? Ma Jess's baleful influence led the two down that path.

Of course Jessie wants to copy Ma, how and where else can she feel close to her?

There's not even a grave to visit!

Rising in the ranks and Giovanni's favour is both to strike it rich and take her place, becoming Ma in essence. That would make her proud, which is all Jessie ever wanted.

What alternative is there? Stay with Chopper and Tyra forever, ekeing an existence pickpocketing and shoplifting, until mortality comes calling sooner than is welcome, or get loaded quickly and retire early?

James theoretically could've gone home at this point, but when it came to which angry redhead he preferred to beat him up, he chose Jessie.

He was henceforth obliged to go whenever she led, even if it meant following the ghost of her mother into the jaws of evil.

They have an excuse, but what was Ma's for getting involved?

However much they boast and revel in their wickedness, the motto proves the couple still believe themselves on a noble quest, despite everything to the contrary, and why?

Jessie isn't about to accept that Ma Jess, whom she's probably idolized as one of few people to love her and a role model of how a woman should be, was nasty or unpleasant. If she was in Team Rocket, it must be good, whatever the outer appearance.

Except Jessie and James are bad at being bad. They are not master criminals. All their plans fail, rendering them poor and starving in consequence. The inner circle of Team Rocket will always be barred to them because they lack the inner darkness it requires.

The joke is they flourish in any other occupation, whether that be Salon Rocquet, reporters, or flogging merchandise and food at the League. If employed elsewhere they'd be better off, but they have to stay because Jessie can't let go, or bear the thought she might be a disappointment to her mother's name. A different career looks unworthy by comparison.

What, so Ma and Pa have got no son because of Ma Jess? They just wanted him to be a gentleman!

If she hadn't set such a terrible example to her daughter she might have an increased quality of life, but then had she done so Ma wouldn't be dead in the first place.

4. Can't pick 'em can she?

What was it that first attracted Ma to Windy Miller? Does she go for the rustic charm, or the promise of a lifetime's supply of bread to feed the abundance of babies planned?

Don't do it, Ma! He's an alky!

Some birds are like that you see. It's the maternal instinct gone haywire. They find a local reprobate and somehow decide he's really a damaged soul crying out for love, the scapegoat of a cruel society.

He's not evil, he's just misunderstood!

This is why you get nutters wanting to marry the Yorkshire Ripper: they put his 'mischief' down to bad women mistreating his gentle heart, but they of course are devoted to his happiness. They can change him.

You don't know him like I do!

In their fantasy, under the influence of a 'proper' woman he'll transform in to a flower-picking hippie, but not too much, they still like him to be dangerously 'manly' (keeps 'em on their toes), then they can feel smugly superior and more truly female than the 'lesser' breed who failed to tame his sexy pashuns.

And if there's one thing Windy has in abundance, it's raw animal magnetism.

Stop it, Ma! You can't help those who don't want helping!

She put up with the boozing, the flour dust and his somewhat limited communication skills, but what really let him down was the company he kept.

Ever after she would insist Pugh, Pugh, Barney McGrew, Cuthbert, Dibble and Grub led him astray. That's firemen for yer.

Cuthbert? That name's died out.

Sure enough, some point after Ma Jess was stuffed up the spout, old Windy legged it back to Camberwick Green, like the rascal he is, and not a sweet penny piece did she receive in maintenance, the bastard.

At least Ma James got pregnant by a man who stood by her.

She wasn't married to Windy Miller!

Oh, you mean they were living over the brush? I see.

It's all in your head!

Do it my way, and we have Pa Jess. Do it yours, and we're back to a cavernous emptiness. Unless you can supply a picture of the 'real' (pffft) Pa Jess, this is the best available.

Anyway, 'Jessie Miller' just sounds right.

Coincidence? I think not.

5. She went to look for Mew dressed like this.

I could forgive it had she gone in her normal uniform, that's just whimsy, but to have made some effort emphasises that it's not enough!

Some part of her understood a mountain might be a bit parky out, but this was deemed sufficient coverage!

What happened?

She bloody died didn't she?!

6. Ma Boss points the way to doom.

Ma Jess was at least loyal to the mistress she served, but it was a wasted dedication. She squandered her life obeying a heartless virago who could cast aside apparently valued staff without a qualm, whatever thanks she owed them.

The millions Ma Jess accumulated for Madame are probably uncountable, yet she was so worthless that, when dispatched to the mountain, on her own, expected to catch a Legendary Pokémon, by herself, which many doubted even existed, and wasn't likely to come quietly, or put up with orders, but then didn't come back, Madame Boss allowed her only child to sink into poverty and the infamous 'care' of the State.

Everyone knows what goes on there. Entering a home has replaced the workhouse as the place of dread.

Jessie might have been killed or attacked and it didn't remotely concern Madame Boss, unwilling to spare a meagre fraction of her massive fortune to give the girl she made an orphan any comfort or security.

What did she matter? Her mother failed. Why reward that?

In her turn, Jessie became just as obsequious to an undeserving master, who went further than his mama and actively tried to murder her, and still she suffers to please him.

Team Rocket devoured her mother, and now it's swallowed her.

Oh, and Madame Boss got her way upon discovering Mew's fossil, so Ma Jess died for nothing.

7. This.

I'm not surprised Mew wouldn't go with Ma. She probably sensed the vivisection awaiting, and didn't give a toss about the avalanche in revenge.

Mew hasn't got where she is today falling for any old shallow promises from a stranger, thank you.

Suppose the mission had worked, with Mew caught and gift wrapped for Madame's delectation: what then?

Perhaps Mew's power, proving so impressive, would've pushed any cloning scheme aside, leaving Mewtwo unborn and Mew as the mightiest weapon. Or in greed Madame Boss demands more, and in arrogance the scientists promise the earth, the seas and the heavens.

Mew I could see subjected to some non-lethal form of dissection, just to understand how she ticked, that is if they could build the cage to hold her.

As they couldn't, and catching Mew was never a possibility, then Ma Jess's sacrificed herself on a fool's errand, which was obviously one from the outset. If Mew was easy to handle she'd have been captured long before now.

Either Ma dies, Mew's safe, but Madame Boss starts the cloning scheme anyway, or Ma's victorious, Mew is a tool of Team Rocket and the scientists have more sample to experiment upon. Mewtwo is still made, alongside short-lived creations and dozens of unseen freakish abominations preceding.

Now Mewtwo isn't what you call at peace with himself, nor has he received a particularly wholesome experience. One could think Ma indirectly caused that. Her branch of the project may have fizzled to cinders but she still played her role.

What would her legacy have been but to help bring forth the being that wiped out mankind? Where's the future for Jessie when there isn't one?

It's not her fault, but she died in the name of cloning a biological disaster, the creation of synthetic life leading to the destruction of it all.

8. Let's have a gander at Ma in the anime:

• Can afford rent.

• Can afford a tray.

• Can afford crockery.

• Can afford condiments to add flavour to food.

• Can't afford any actual food.

Something's wrong there.

I intended to include affording clothes too, but now I'm not so sure.

I never took Ma to be a brown-all-over kind of woman. At least she gave the fancy stuff to Jessie.

For years I've assumed she wore a brightly coloured jacket, but now I suspect it's a red one heavily patched up, because buying a replacement isn't an option.

Really old clothes are being mended with whatever can be salvaged from even more worn-out clobber.

Best agent Madame Boss has and she's practically living in her own filth.

Team Rocket takes care of its own, eh?

Oh no, let's not get a proper job, one that allows me to provide for my daughter and doesn't ask for my life. Let's stay in this one!

9. Look at Jessie's face!

By her own admission, being tricked into eating snow is the best thing that ever happened to her during an 'otherwise wretched childhood', to the extent she doesn't know it was wrong!

I don't hear Ma and Pa doing that. The only ice James got was an ice-cream sandwich.

What kind of infancy did Ma Jess give the girl for her to be nostalgic about almost dying of malnutrition?

If we say that's a foster mother as in the sub, it means Jessie's fondest memory is after Ma died, which is too brutal for me.

Yeah, thank goodness she's snuffed it.

You think Ma might have taught her not to eat snow! She left her so ill-prepared!

Consequently the sub version makes Ma Jess an awful creature, although I don't see why that Jessie would so desire to mimic a mom she apparently doesn't care about.

10. She's not even bloody here!

I have no picture to signify absence, therefore I must show whom she left behind.

Ma Jess is Pokémon's answer to Bobba Fett: background figure, barely involved, no information, dies early, yet became a fan favourite nevertheless.

If nothing really exists, what is there to like? Why are you contented weaving smoke?

When Rocketshippers put forward the manga as proof, the Anti-Ships used to insist that it 'didn't count' for being set in a 'separate universe'.

If that still goes, and only the contents of the anime apply to the anime, well then it's bye-bye to Ma Jess and Madame Boss, because they aren't real either.

I sometimes think that's true. However traumatic, would Jessie not have acknowledged her mother by now otherwise?

We grasp the characters all had two parents in a nebulous fashion, although not being real people means they don't 'technically' need them, but Ma Jess is the only one who vanished to be granted a face. Why is she then ignored?

She's briefly glimpsed in a passing scene of a single episode of the first series and is never seen or referenced again. The sub doesn't even have that. Where was the use in creating her if only to leave that thread of the tale billowing in the breeze?

We may decide her actions affect Jessie's but we're only imprinting assumptions. She might as well have remained unwritten for all that's made of her.

What we can glean doesn't bode well, irrespective of things left unmentioned.

Her one redeeming deed was dying, thus at least she didn't choose to abandon Jessie. We may presume she'd have stayed with her girl given the chance.

By my reckoning that puts her as Fifth-Best Mother Of Pokémon, behind Ma Brock, Ma James, Dame Ketchum and Ma Boss, in that order.

Then they're those who claim she never died, so she just pissed off like everyone else, rendering her devoid of a single positive quality.

This is the woman you sigh and agonise over for decades.

Ma and Pa are right there, man! Show 'em some love!

65 million years in the making.

A/N: Second fic of the '90's marathon' week! I think this one is pretty self explanitory 😉

"I think we have hit the jackpot with his fossil!" You ecstatically squeaked as you carefully brushed away dust and dirt from a dinosaur skeleton.

Even though you couldn't see him, you felt Greg crouch next to you "I can't believe how intact it is. This is probably the best excavation I've ever been on." Greg stood back up and stretched out his legs, he helped you up too.

"I'm going to check how good the new tech is at scanning for bones," you smiled and walked off, Greg couldn't help but stare as you sauntered away.

He let out a long sigh but it was cut short when his face scrunched with confusion when he heard helicopter blades cut through the air. "Cover up the site!" He yelled and everyone frantically covered up the exposed bones. Greg was getting covered in dust as he approached the helicopter, telling the pilot to move but the pilot pointed in the direction of the camper.

Greg stormed towards it and burst open the door finding someone in the fridge "What the hell do you think you're doing?!" The man turned around and popped a bottle of champagne "We were saving that!"

"For today!" The man with white hair and a white, wiry beard smiled.

"Who the hell do you think you are?!" Greg angrily pointed at him.

"John Hammond and I'm finally delighted to meet you in person Doctor Lestrade!" Hammond shook Greg's finger and blew the excess duct on his hands away. He walked to the sink to find some glasses, leaving Greg in a shocked state. "I see my fifty thousand a year has been well spent!"

"Okay who's the idiot?!" You stormed into the camper, ready to unleash your wrath.

"Uh this is paleobotanist Doctor Y/L/N," Greg introduced you "Y/N, this is Mr Hammond..." Greg glared at you and you gulped, realising you had just insulted your biggest donor.

"I...uh...did say idiot?" You nervously chuckled and shook his hand. He offered you a drink and explained why he was at the site. He told you both that he had built a park, that he needed you and Greg to endorse the park to get the approval to open it. "Why would they need our opinions?" You asked with an unsure smile.

"Yeah," Greg added "What kind of park is this?"

"I assure you," Hammond smiled "It's right up your alley! Why don't you both come down at the weekend?" You and Greg opened your mouth to argue against going. You had just uncovered an excellent fossil and the timing was very awkward "I'd compensate your dig..." Hammond proposed "For another three years."

You looked up to Greg, both clinking your glasses together before he wrapped his arms around you and spun you on the spot, both of you screeching with happiness.

---

A few days later you found yourself being squished into a helicopter with Greg and Hammond and a few others. Hammond's lawyer and another doctor who happily introduced himself to you with a smouldering smile. "Ian Malcom, I'm a chaos theorist, mainly finding attraction in things but I'm sure you'd know all about attraction, right? Miss..."

You shook his head with a smirk, not letting him phase you with his flirtatiousness "Doctor Y/N Y/L/N." He raised a brow, impressed by your quick wit. He sat back and made himself comfortable just as the helicopter approached the island. It dipped a little and you gripped onto Greg's arm, forgetting to pull away even after the helicopter landed "Sorry..." you uttered with an apologetic smile noticing the red mark on Greg's arm.

"It's fine," he nervously smiled. The two of you, along with doctor Malcom, made your way to the car while Hammond and his lawyer followed in the car behind.

You drove passed a plant and gasped, quickly stretching your arm out to pull off a leaf "Greg...this..." you placed your free hand on your head "This plant sh-shouldn't be here! It hasn't been around since the cretaceous period!"

Out of the corner of his eye get spotted something moving. He turned his head slightly and his jaw dropped, he shakily took off his glasses and stood up. He couldn't hear a word you were saying. Greg tapped on your head "Wha-" he turned your head with his hand and you mirrored his facial expression. "O-oh my god..." the sight before you took your breath away.

A dinosaur.

At first you and Greg thought you were dreaming. You stumbled out the car and walked closer to the Brachiosaurus. Hammond approached the both of you with a proud smile. In the distance Greg spotted a heard of two other species in the distance and fell to the grass, completely taken aback "H-how did you do this?" Greg whispered.

Hammond replied "I'll show you."

---

You sat through a show explaining how Hammond created the dinosaurs, you caught a glimpse into the lab but you wanted to see more. You, Greg and Ian pushed up the bars on the seat and escaped the little informative ride and headed to the lab.

You gasped "Look!" You pointed over to a egg that was moving. It began to hatch "Is that...a velociraptor?" You raised a brow and noticed the uneasy look Greg was giving you before being handed the minute old dinosaur.

"Yes," Hammond nodded "We have many species in the park. Their life starts here if the lab, we have an embryo cold store just over there." He pointed over to the locked lab "Our scientists then fertilise the eggs, eventually creating life."

"It must be difficult when they get out in the wild," Ian spoke up "You have no control over their breeding."

"What do you mean?" A scientist, Dr Henry Wu, spoke up.

"Well surely they...yanno...procreate..." he made a vague gesture with his hands.

"They can't, all the dinosaurs are female. We've engineered them that way. We deny the chromosome at a certain stage of development that would produce male dinosaurs." Dr Henry explained.

You looked away from the dinosaur for a moment "You deny them?"

Ian couldn't help but smirk as he shook his head "Surely they find away around this. If life has taught us anything it's that life cannot be contained. Life always goes on."

Dr Henry smirked "Are you implying that a group of all female dinosaurs will reproduce?"

Ian shrugged "No, what I'm saying is life uh...finds a way."

You pondered over his words while having lunch, you wondered if this park was a good idea and Greg knew what you were thinking. He could tell by the look on your face. This park was simultaneously ahead of its time and out of time.

When Hammond's grandchildren, Timmy and Lex, arrived, you all went on a tour around the park. Greg was being pestered by them both. Timmy especially kept asking Greg a question one after the other, not giving him a chance to answer which made you laugh. You shared a car with Greg and Ian, you were in the front and the two boys were in the back.

The cars were driverless and they took you through a set of huge gates "What have they got in here?" Ian snorted "King Kong?"

You smirked and shook your head just as you arrived at the first paddock but you couldn't see any of the dinosaurs. You knew Greg was more disappointed than you, he was desperate to see one. You then approached the T. Rex paddock but again, saw nothing. They even attempted to lure it closer with a goat. Greg sighed "It doesn't want fed it wants to hunt!" He flopped his hands before placing them on the top of your seat with a small thud.

You sent him a small smile and placed your hand on top of his for a moment before pulling away with your heart pounding in your chest, like it had been revived by the spark you felt when his skin came into contact with yours. You looked back out the window before Ian opened his mouth "God creates dinosaurs. God destroys dinosaurs. God creates man. Man destroys God. Man creates dinosaurs." His brows furrowed with every word.

You smirked "Dinosaur eats man. Women inherits the earth."

The two men looked at you before glancing one another. The tour eventually continued and Ian...enlightened...you about what he actually did. "Show me that glass of water, I'm gonna do a little experiment with you right now." He took your hand and dipped his finger in the water before placing the drop of water on the tip of his finger on your hand.

He wiped away the drop of water after it trickled down your hand and forearm and an did the same thing again. Before he did, he asked you this time what way it would go, you told him to the left of you hand, the same way as before but it didn't. He then went on to explain about different variations in your hand and unpredictability. He mentioned the word 'unpredictable' just as Greg jumped out the car.

"Greg?" You jumped out after him and everyone followed suit. When you followed him to where he was going, you couldn't believe your eyes. A Triceratops.

Tears blurred your vision and you let a small sob of a laugh, completely and utterly overwhelmed by the animal. You kneeled down and placed your hand on it, tracing your fingers over its rough skin. Greg was in awe, he couldn't help but rest himself in the animal and listen to its heartbeat.

"What's the matter with it?" You asked the doctor who was on sight with the dinosaur.

"We aren't quite sure, that's what we are trying to establish."

Your eyes softened as you stroked its face, completely unfazed by the loud rumbles of thunder you had just heard. "I think we should get back to the car..." Hammond's lawyer announced and looked up.

"You guys go ahead," you looked up to everyone "I'm going to stay here for a little bit."

"You sure? Greg asked, staying put while everyone walked off.

"Yeah," you nodded and stood up "I'll catch up with you later." You placed a hand on his chest "Enjoy the rest of the tour, and don't get eaten!" You joked.

"The same thing applies to you!" Greg laughed died down as he gazed into your eyes "I'll see you later." You watched as he walked off and went back into the car just as the sky began to darken, momentarily lighting up from a flash of lightning.

---

When you had arrived back at the visitor centre your worst fears had set in "What's going on? What's happening?" You burst into the control room.

"We've lost all communications with them because of the storm!" Hammond explained. You walked up to the computers and saw the flashing warning signs. All the power was cut off. "The last known location of them was at the Tyrannosaurus paddock." You swallowed thickly, your heart felt like it was going to burst, break and shrivel up all at the same time. "My grandchildren, you have to get them!" Hammond pleaded with his expert wrangler, Robert Muldoon.

He nodded and grabbed his hat "I'm going with him!" You announced and didn't wait for protesting voices, grabbing a jacket on the way to the car. You couldn't shake the horrendous feeling in the pit of your stomach. What if Greg was dead? What if he was killed and you didn't have the chance to tell him how you really felt? You shook away those thoughts and fears. You couldn't think like that. You had to stay positive. Although that was becoming increasingly harder to do as you approached the T. Rex paddock and noticed all the wires keeping the thing in were gone.

You looked around for any sign of Greg but there was nothing. Under some leaves you heard a groan and found a badly hurt Ian. "Ian? Ian!" You tapped his face.

"Remind me to thank Hammond for a lovely weekend..." he sarcastically retorted. You rolled your eyes, knowing he was sure to be back to his normal self in no time.

"Is here any chance we can move him?" You asked Robert.

In the distance you heard the spine chilling roar of the T.Rex and suddenly Ian sat up "There's a chance." You and Robert supported either side of him and took him to the car, placing in in the back of the open jeep before you jogged a few yards to look for Greg again, there was every chance he could be in the same situation as you found Ian in. You heard the same roar, it sounded closer than before. "Y/N, we have got to go!" Robert called you back. You let out a small, disappointed gruff before noticing the other car.

You hurried towards it and called out Greg's name but there was no sign of him or Hammond's grandchildren. You moved your flashlight around and noticed three sets of footprints. They were alive. You let out a massive sigh of relief and your whole body eased for a moment before tensing when you heard your name being shrieked. You ran back to the car and rejoined Ian and Robert, you were just in it when out of the trees emerged the T. Rex.

You turned around, which was a stupid move on your part, you wished you hadn't, and screamed. "Shit! Go faster!" You slapped Roberts arm "Go faster!"

Ian fell back on you as the dinosaur nudged the jeep with its head, both of you screaming just as loud as the roar coming from the T. Rex. Eventually it slowed and Robert managed to dive off with everyone still in one piece. When you got back to the visitor centre you gave Ian a shot of morphine to ease his pain "The last I saw Greg and the kids were okay, he never stopped talking about you when you stayed behind with that Triceratops yanno."

You sent him a thin smile before raising his leg slightly and leaving him to rest. You joined Hammond in the dining area where he was surrounded with ice cream. "They were all melting," he weakly chuckled before letting out a sigh "This has been a disaster." You agreed with him, the park was amazing at first but now it was nothing short of a nightmare. "I just wanted to give everyone a real experience, no illusions. I wanted to do something that had never been attempted before."

"Isn't this just an illusion? It was just a wild dream!" You unintentionally snapped "People have died. You cannot attempt to bring back the past!"

Hammond huffed "And now I'm paying the price."

You grabbed a spoon and had a mouthful of ice cream as you thought of Greg "We both are."

---

Greg climbed over fallen tree trunks and helped Timmy and Lex over the ones that were a little too high for them. That was when he spotted eggs. "Malcom was right," Greg tiredly rubbed his face "Some species of frog can change sex in environments where there are overwhelming amount of creatures of the same sex. They used frog DNA to complete the gene code. Life found a way."

Greg and the two kids then delved deeper into the forest, trying to find their way back to the compound.

---

Mr Arnold, a technician at the park who was trapped with you and the others, shut down all the systems and tried turning them back on again. The computers had rebooted but everything else, including all the lights, were still off.

"I'll go over to the maintenance shed and turn it on manually from there. That should reset the circuit breaker. I can have the power on in three minutes." Mr Arnold spoke up.

"Well until you get back, I suggest we all go into the emergency bunker. Just to be safe." Hammond lead you all off while Mr Arnold when in the opposite direction, outside.

Twenty minutes later, you were still waiting "Something's wrong..."

"Y/N's right," Ian spoke up from where he was resting on the table.

Hammond scoffed "Delays happen! Did you know the opening of Disneyland was delayed? Everything broke down!"

"Yeah but when the Pirates of the Caribbean ride breaks down, the pirates don't eat the tourists!" Ian snapped before wincing from the pain in his leg.

You were pacing about "I-I have to do something. I have to go over. I can't take it anymore!"

"It's not just a nice stroll down the road," Robert warned before getting a gun and loading it "I'm going with you."

You grabbed a walkie-talkie, one for you and one for Hammond who was looking over the blueprints "This isn't going to be like turning on your lights in the house but I think I can walk you through it." You sent him a nervous smile "It should really be me that's going."

"Why?" You asked with a furrowed eyebrow.

"Well I'm a...and you're a...." he trailed off.

You rolled your eyes, unimpressed "Look, we can discuss sexism in survival situations when I get back." You glared at him before leaving with Robert. When you got outside, you felt incredibly uneasy, like there was something constantly watching you. Approaching the bushes, you climbed over trees and let out a small breath of relief seeing the shed up ahead. "We can make it if we run..." you told Robert who was frozen on the spot.

"We can't," he whispered, you asked him why "Because we're being hunted..." your whole body tensed and you looked about, it felt like everything in the trees and bushes was moving. "You run towards he shed. I've got her. Go! Now!" You ran as fast as your legs could take you, jumping over logs and swinging over them until you reached the shed and slammed the door shut. You tried to catch your breath as you put on your torch.

"Okay," you spoke to Hammond and Ian "I'm in." They led you through to the main power box and you switched on all the buttons. One by one, the lights came on "I think we're back in busi-ahhhhhh!" Your scream burst from your chest seeing a velociraptor come through the wires. You ran out and closed the cage door behind you but the raptor lunged towards you and nocked you down. You were quick to act and used your feet to shut over the door, the raptors roar mixing with your scream. You couldn't even hear Ian and Hammond shouting, asking what was happening. You stumbled back towards the wall and screamed again feeling something heavy on your shoulder, glancing down you noticed it was Mr Arnold. Letting out a sigh of relief you taped his hand...before it and his arm fell on you. Letting out a strained scream you pushed away the body part and ran out of the shed, crashing your back against the door and tiredly sobbing against the door. You knew you could hang about and hurried back to the complex.

As you stumbled up the small hill you heard your name being called out. Your eyes squeezed shut, wondering if it was just a dream.

It wasn't.

You spotted his hat first and then almost burst into tears seeing him standing in front of you and apart from a few cuts and bruises, he seemed okay. "Y/N!" Greg's whole face lit up with a smile. You ran towards him, he held his arms out to hug you but you had other ideas and took him completely by surprise when you crashed your lips against his. It was quick, you didn't really have the time. "Let's continue that later," Greg smirked before it fell hearing the call of the raptors.

He grabbed your hand and took you back into the compound where you got Lex and Timmy. You were about to run outside but we're cornered by four raptors. Your hand found Greg's and held it tightly, Greg could feel your heart racing under your skin. Suddenly, out of nowhere, the T. Rex burst though the brick wall. The raptors who were now distracted by the larger dinosaur, meant you had the chance to run for it. The four of you raced to the car Hammond was driving with Ian in the back. Hammond had called in for a helicopter which was waiting in the same area it dropped you off. When you were up in the air, you could finally calm down and breathe. "Perhaps instead of a wild weekend, you two should take a romantic one..." Ian teased and glanced between both you and Greg "Although, after spending the last few days with Y/N, I think you'd be in for a wild weekend anyway Greg!" You nudged his side causing the chaos theorist to flinch. Greg rolled his eyes with a smirk at the comment.

"Got to admit Y/N," Greg spoke up, being careful not to wake a sleeping Lex and Timmy "I thought I would turn into a fossil first before that happened back there."

Ian sat up a little straighter "What? What happened? What did I miss?!"

You smirked and leaned over slightly to Greg, cupping the back of his neck and passionately kissing him for a few seconds before turning to Ian who was gaping.

"That..." you proudly smiled "Even if it did feel like it took 65 million years to finally happen."

---------------------

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I need to vent abt some bs bc I'm going to explode if I don't throw this somewhere, I'm keeping it vague in case ppl read but it's prob best to ignore this

Something came up yesterday that appears to have settled, but idk if it has for sure. If not and something happens I'm fucked, bc today is the worst school day set up of all fucking time to have to work around or get out of. I'm probably overthinking it but I tried everything to be home yesterday and if something happens when I'm out today I'm going to scream. But bc its so uncertain idk if im even able to do the easy thing and email my prof before class and be home.

This is one of the strongest cases of laying in bed and praying it was a bad dream and it'll be fine when I get up. I'm and it may be still but I'm scared of the possibility that its not.

This year keeps doing sgit that pushes it closer to being the worst year of my life. So much bs keeps happening. Which makes me so incredibly sad, bc there's been some really wonderful things this year. I guess most of it began when school did, so maybe its not the worst year but rather the worst semester... either way I would give anything to go back to the summer when I was happy and things weren't falling apart around me.

I'm so tired. I feel sick. I cant fucking sleep and I feel like im drowning slowly. I'm so fucking tired!!!! I just want everything to be fixed and better and ok again. I want to crawl in a hole and sleep for the rest of this god awful semester. If the next semester is anywhere near as bad I may finally lose it istfg. I've been so dissociated for the past few weeks and its only going to continue if things go south. I'm not ready to cope with that kind of emotional damage.

Been trying to be nice to myself but at this rate idk if I have the energy for it, lowkey prob deserve the garbage being dealt after my shit work ethic thus far. I just want to lay in bed for a whole week im so tired and fed up with everything rn.

If someone is reading this far (esp of you're a friend of mine), I am ok and I am safe. I'm just venting here bc I already did on my ig last night and I feel like I can seal this in its tomb here better.

Hi,pal! I'm loving "It's the perfect story"! However, the subject I'm talking about doesn't directly to the fic. By what I know, people don't hate Silena because she was the spy,it's more like they think her being seduced/manipulated into doing it is detracting to her character. Many posts say that's very insulting to teen girls, or her cause should be something like "her cabin was being disrespected"(out of character IMO, but I'll talk about it later)...

Continuation. Or “the demigods were being mistreated by the gods”(not a bad one,but Silena didn’t really feel the worst of the gods IMO. Not like Luke, Chris or Tori in the fic). People are entitled to their opinions, but I disagree. About the “disrespected cabin stuff”,Silena is defensive in a blunt, straightforward way when it happens. Examples: how she wanted to fight the Huntresses when they said love was worthless;or when people were surprised by her magic knowledge,and she looked offended.

Cont. Besides, those behaviors show that Silena can be quite passionate and proud, what probably made her vulnerable to manipulation(her romantic nature didn’t help). Besides, Silena herself thought she was saving lives. I believe Luke’s words would sound truer to her if she cared about him than from a dispassionate perspective. Besides, if Luke managed to lure Percy to near death with a friendly smile and soda,despite Percy’s instincts saying no,I believe he could do it to Silena…

Cont. By what I read, your only issue was the age. However, I think that was something like “death of the author” in canon,as she didn’t get one. In fact, I rather like the idea of Silena being an older camper,including than Charles(if 18 years old girls date boys in their 20’s…),both in canon and in your fic. In your fic,it could make her Tori ’ s peer. In canon,it’d fit the whole “role model” stuff we had going on HoO.

what’s up dude! thanks, i’m glad to hear you’re enjoying it!

that’s how i interpreted it when i read the books (or how i remember interpreting it, at least, i haven’t read the series in a while) like, being the spy meant she was a traitor, which is also a comment abt her character (i.e., may she’s not the greatest person–for the lack of a better word–bc she was a traitor). when clarisses declares she’s a hero, i assumed it was supposed to be juxtaposed to her being a traitor. which is a roundabout way to say that the ultimate end is the same, whereas the perspective is different? but i can see where others are coming from–that the campers would be more mad bc of the fact that she was easily manipulated by luke, rather than her being the spy

i guess i can see where ppl are coming from regarding it being an insult to teen girls (i’d really like to see those posts tho, bc i actually haven’t seen anyone talk abt that–i somehow manage to avoid discourse like we’re two opposing magnets, my d-list x-men power), bc it plays off the stereotype that teen girls are so boy crazy, they’re easily manipulated by any good-looking guy that smiles in their direction. it doesn’t help that she’s a child of aphrodite. and what i mean by that is, i think, ppl often water down what aphrodite is the goddess of. when ppl say, “she’s the goddess of love and beauty” ppl often think she’s the goddess of, “being vain and romantic/sexual love” (not true btw, fite me, i will gladly jump into that discourse)

but anyway, back to my main point, i can see how it may play off a teen girl stereotype (rick is good at doing that sometimes, which isn’t entirely his fault, bc like i said abt toxic masculinity, it’s so ingrained in our society, it’s hard to unlearn and we often fall into those stereotypes if we’re not fully aware of them and consciously thinking about them), but i also don’t entirely agree with that argument, either

now i could be wrong, esp since i haven’t read any of this discourse, so i haven’t read ppl’s reasoning or arguments, but it sounds very surface-level White Feminism™ and what i mean by that is that there are more grey areas to this argument, okay, so put away your pitchforks and put out your torches and, i mean, also that this argument is coming from ppl who want to seem like they’re woke, but then turn around and continue to do or say things that are insidiously bigoted

like i said, i can see how it plays into a stereotype, but if we’re going by rick’s canon (which we totally don’t have to, but for this argument’s sake we are) she’s young and impressionable, luke is handsome and charming–if another young person were in her position, we’d probably see the same thing. young ppl are easy to manipulate, they just are. they’re still learning abt the world, and how it works, and that maybe not everyone has good intentions. not to mention they’re still trying to find themselves, and they look to peers, mentors, and ppl who are respected (for whatever reason) for cues to how they should act and think. it’s like trying on clothes or taste-testing foods–they’re trying out opinions. if they don’t like the “taste” of an opinion, then they learn, grow, and change. some ppl instantly connect with an opinion (which could be bigoted or not) and not explore further, or could be sheltered and just not have the opportunity to experience anything else.

the opinion here: the gods are bad. the person she’s looking to for guidance: luke. plain and simple

and, as you say anon, percy even fell for luke’s charms (despite the warning signs!! and percy is most def Not Straight, so luke was also using that fact against percy as well, whether rick luke knew it or not). so, ya know, there ya go

now, i think rick chose a child of aphrodite, and a girl, bc he thought he was turning a trope on its head–you’d never expect (from the stereotype of what aphrodite stands for) silena to be a spy, to work for kronos of all ppl titans. do you see what i mean? i think he was going for an elle woods effect–except in the polar opposite direction. the ends is the same, where this girl who is often underestimated (like elle) turns out to do something no one expected of her (in silena’s case, being the spy, which takes a lot of guts, nerve, and smarts–the opposite of what ppl expect from aphrodite, based on a reductive stereotype)

and that’s where the real issue lies, not that she was a teen girl, but rather some of the decisions the author made under wrong assumptions

i agree that the alternatives aren’t as sincere or make as much sense. silena didn’t experience a whole lot of strife regarding her mom or the gods in general, so she’d have no reason to hate them as luke does–she’d have no reason to be the spy for luke if he were to simply use that argument to get her to kronos’s side. and maybe she would’ve joined kronos under “her cabin was being disrespected,” however, it was’t being disrespected by the gods themselves, right? not like the minor gods, not like nemesis or hecate. the disrespect comes more from the ppl around her–the ppl who assume the wrong things abt aphrodite when they hear the words “love” and “beauty.” so that alternative reason doesn’t hold a lot of water if you really think abt it

i also agree with you: that her passion and pride made her more easily manipulated, and also that luke’s words would mean more coming from a more passionate and personal perspective. luke fed her lines that played into her character (like how kronos fed luke lines that played into his hatred for the gods). if she felt passionate abt helping save ppl (and it’s coming from someone she likes, someone she looks up to), then she’d  be the spy for sure. if she had a crush on luke, more for him to use against her, right? that’s just how it goes sometimes, ya know? her crush are her rose-colored glasses, add that on top of “you’d be saving lives” and, well, luke’s got her wrapped around kronos’s finger

yeah, the age thing is a big sticking point for me, just bc based on the timeline of things, she’s several years younger than luke (which make his kiss, in my story, really gross). if beckendorf was going to college during tlo, he was probably at the least 18, and silena was probably around the same age. by this time, luke is 23, so that means that she’s abt 5 years younger? is five years a huge deal between older ppl (like mid- to late-twenties and beyond)? not at all. but with younger ppl (teens and early twenties), it’s a HUGE gap in age, and a HUGE deal.

but like you say, i think rick is hitting that point of “death of the author” (esp with more recent events…btw, jason is totally alive and well, and if you think or try to tell me differently, then you can meet me in a denny’s parking lot at 3am), so we can totes not follow canon and age both silena and beckendorf up. not to mention, there’s no specific age that ppl go to college (just in general most ppl starting college are from 17-20) so it’s completely fine for beckendorf to be going to college at 22, 23. and a 2 yr age difference (regarding beckendorf at 20, dating silena at 18) is totes better than a 5 yr difference for sure

i really like tori and silena being peers, and i if i had been more comfortable breaking canon (and knew what i know now, then), it would’ve been fun to write (but eeeyyy, it’s fun to think abt, so there may be headcanons in your future regarding this). finally, you’re right, i think it would make “silena as a role model” so much more powerful if she had been/was older in canon

thanks for sending these in! i had a lot of fun talking and thinking abt all the points you brought up/made, and i hope to continue this discussion, if you want!

Dear Oliver

By: Criselle Bolante & Wesley Paligar

HU12

It was indeed a chilly morning. As usual, I started preparing myself to school. It’s not just an ordinary day to me though; it’s my first day on my new school.

Yes I know, transferring from schools suck. Well maybe it's just me because I'm not that sociable at all. I have social problems, not that I'm ill or what but I've always been bullied.

Can you imagine having new set of bullies from every new school?

That actually happened to me before, but I hope this time it's different. I want to start something new. I want to stop getting hurt and getting beaten around like a fucking rag doll. I want people to stop hurting me and making me bleed like a pig.

Sometimes I question the world about what I've done to deserve all of this- on why people have to be so cruel ,unfair and insensitive. Despite all of this, there's always something inside me. A spark that calls for hope that keeps me on continuing my life and believing that not all people are bad, that some people really do care and that's also the thing that keeps me on moving from place to place in hopes of finding the place where I really belong, a place in which I can call home.

Home, this word brought a myriad of thoughts inside my head. I suddenly felt my chest tightening and there was a lump forming at the back of my throat. The bitter coldness of the weather isn't helping at all. One person came into my mind and it was my mother.

My mother was someone who doesn't deserve to be remembered at all. When I was just an infant, I was neglected by my mother who was pregnant during her teenage years. I was a mistake. She threw me at a dump. I was actually about to die but someone was able to find and rescue me. I was brought to a charity home that raises kids. It was a charity home run by religious nuns. They’ve raised and fed me well enough until such time when things changed.

During my teenage years, my behaviour was not similar to that of the ordinary boys. I was attracted to the same sex that I've had. I had minor crushes. I know that this is not natural at all and this doesn't have to reach the nuns. I was taught religiously that boys must be boys and girls must be girls. Not long after, the nuns figured it out. I remembered the horrified look on Sister Martina's face when she found out I was gay.

I think I've had enough. I don't despise God nor hate him but this is who I am and I believe that He made me like this and that he loves me for who I am and no one can change that. It's not that I'm an ungrateful child but I've decided to escape the charity and live my own life alone. I've roamed around the streets without anything in hand and was exposed to the cruelty of the world. I won't forget that time, that memory will haunt me forever.

*flashback*

I was on the streets. Half-passed out and dying of great hunger. I already accepted that I would die when a boy with brown hair and piercing blue eyes suddenly went to me and gave me a loaf of bread after seeing me in that state. He was an angel; the loaf of bread that he gave me was the only thing I have. I started eating the bread, tears streaming down my eyes and my heart thumping with gratitude. I wasn't able to speak. "Hey Caelan let's go!" said a woman who was with the boy. From that moment on, the name Caelan never left my mind.

*end of flashback*

I realized that it's already getting late and I would probably be late for school if I didn't hurry enough. Erie High School was a 15 minute walk away from the apartment I was dwelling in. I grabbed my old bike and started my way to school. The slippery road wasn't helping at all. Fortunately I've reached my destination on time. The school’s atmosphere seems to be really refreshing and unnerving at the same time. There was a change of view of course since this is a new school for me. But there was something that makes my stomach clench on its own.

“Nothing new” I thought to myself. There were students in groups; there were jocks, nerds and bitches. Of course there would be a social hierarchy…. What was I expecting? Pure bunch of nerds who doesn't give a fuck about something except for studying and getting straight A's?? I parked my ragged bike to the side of the building and started my way towards the school's hall.

It was the epitome of awkwardness. If looks could kill, I would unrecognizably dead by now perhaps?? The school's population is surprisingly small and I think seeing new faces are something that would eventually become apparent and obvious. Nevertheless, I got my schedule and started locating my first class. I was lost not long after. I don't want to ask help from somebody so I went on with my own. I have finally managed to find it but I was 10 minutes late though.

"Good morning ma’am" I said while heaving breathlessly. "Take your seat" she said without looking at me. "Oliver Scullion right?" she asked while looking straight at me, stopping me on my way. "Yes ma’am"

I replied. I made my way to the only vacant chair at the back when I felt a sudden sharp pain on my right ankle. Before I knew it, I was sprawled face flat on the floor.

Fuck it. This will leave a bruise for sure. I looked back to see who tripped me. It was a tall and thin boy with a smug look on his face. That annoying smirk of his would be something I would like to erase on the face.

"Jasper stop" said the professor. So that jerk's name is Jasper huh?? I helped myself recover and hurriedly went to my chair. My lips were so painful. It started bleeding and I tried licking it off. "Ugh" that familiar rusty taste engorged my taste buds. It kept on bleeding and it seems that it won't stop. I tried looking around to find something that would help a bit and saw the most beautiful eyes in the world. It was oddly familiar.

It belongs to the guy seated next to me whom I haven’t noticed since I entered the room. He has light brown hair and piercing blue eyes. He was kinda tall and was quite muscular, lean and beefy. "Here" he gave me a piece of band aid and a small handy pack of cotton balls. “Uuhm thanks!” I thanked him shyly. I felt myself face warm up and before I knew it I was blushing red as a tomato.

"Caelan at your service" he smiled. Why does his name sound familiar? It seems like I already know him. I nodded awkwardly. “Hey I'm Oliver and I-I'm new here" I stuttered. "I see, there aren't that many students in this school and you've been talked about before you even entered the gate" He wiggled his eyebrows and beamed at me. That smile, it warms the coldest of hearts.

The bell rung and it was time for the next class. I started fixing my stuff immediately. I started looking around but Caelan was nowhere to be found. I guess I shouldn't attach myself to people that much.

My day continued with the most boring classes ever. But I can't remove the smile of my face after realizing that Caelan was indeed that angelic boy who rescued me from starvation. I don't think he would remember me anyway. I wish he would. I rode my bike on my way home and started sleeping early. There was some sort of motivation inside me after knowing that I've seen Caelan once again. I couldn't sleep; I kept thingking all the things that happened to me today. “Maybe I could talk to him again tomorrow” I said to myself. Luckily I still drifted off to sleep despite my bothered mind. I woke up anxiously, getting myself ready and going off.

The random stares from the old students are still there though. I guess it's just normal since it's just my 2nd day as a transferee. I scanned the halls for any sign of Caelan since I really wanted to talk to him.

Searching desperately for Caelan I bumped into some bulky figure . " Watch out loser" a deep mocking voice called out. He grabbed me by my collar and I reflexively closed my eyes and braced myself for a possible punch.

Miraculously a narrow nasal voice called out "Will, we don't have time for that. Get your ass over here!”

"Fuck off Xavier, I wanna give this loser a piece of my mind" replied Will. " Will. Just stop it. We don't have time for that and we still have something TO DO.”

Not long after, they finally left me. I breathe a sigh.

My nightmare's happening again. I was expecting a new life away from all the pain the moment I transferred from this school.

But everything seems to be turning the opposite way.

Fortunately I found Caelan on his lockers. I don't think it's the right time to talk to him though. I just feel like I'm about to cry. I was planning on greeting him on the way then going off on my own when he stopped me on my tracks.

"Hey Oliver! Do you have plans later?" Caelan asked quite enthusiastically.

"I guess I don't have? Why'd you ask?" I responded curiously.

"U-uhm can you come with me later this afternoon? Perhaps you don't have something to do? Would you mind if I invite you?" He started scratching his head and he was actually blushing. He can't look at my eyes though.

I can't stop giggling inside. Caelan wanted to hang out with me?! Seriously?! " Yea sure, ye-yeah" I stammered. I was expecting Caelan to be happy since I've accepted his invitation but I've seen worry in his eyes instead. From that moment, I knew something was wrong. I asked him if everything was ok. He said he was fine. Then we parted ways.

I can't wait to go home and prepare myself.

I started wearing the most comfortable yet presentable clothes I have and in a flash I was in Borough bridge, the agreed meeting place with Caelan.

Caelan was wearing a black shirt which in my opinion was quite odd. I don't really think he's that type of person that likes to wear black

I was walking towards him with his back against me .When something covered my nose and mouth. The texture seems similar to that off a handkerchief but it's kinda wet and it has a sharp scent on it. I struggled and struggled knowing that they might kidnap me. But with no luck, my vision started blurring and and I felt really drowsy. Everything went blank.

"Ouch, where am I?" I moaned in pain. Every tissue in my body hurts like hell. Then I hear whispers, those voices. They're familiar and I'm certain that they're from my school. "HEEEEEELP" I screamed at the top of my lungs. If they are from my school then that means I might have a chance of surviving!

The air was dense and the place reeks of Earth. This looks like an abandoned basement. I was tied to a wooden chair with my hands in cuffs.

Four familiar figures emerged from the door and to my surprise it was Jasper, Will, Xavier and Ca-Caelan?

"Caelan what's happening? where am I?”

"Shut up faggot, you deserve some good ass whopping.”

"Knew you were a faggot who's in desperate need of date."

I can't believe what's happening right now. Those words were coming out from Caelan's mouth. This must be a dream! A nightmare! Impossible!

His once angelic eyes were replaced with menacing ones instead Glaring at me so intensely as if his ultimate goal was to kill me.

His rage tore my heart into pieces. As if it has not been torned many times before. It was crushed into fine pieces like that of the sand.

A strong punch landed on my stomach, then another one but this one was undeniably stronger. I was kicked by the side and the wooden chair I was sitting came tumbling with me.

Fits of mocking laughter could be heard from across the room. It was from the three guys. That stood behind Caelan.

Oh good Lord. Please don't tell me that Caelan was with these 3 jerks all this time!!!

"S-s-stop C-Caelan. Please .stop." I pleaded.

My mouth was filled with the taste of rust and I know I might die anytime soon. I'm fucking bleeding.

I was kicked, punched, slapped and spoken harsh verbal words. And every second was unbearable. Of all people, Caelan was the one who's doing everything. What did I do to deserve this kind of thing? Do I really deserve this? Maybe the world is pure evil after all, that good people do not exist.

After hours of beating they finally left me seeing my fully beaten body. But I think they might come back so I take that as my time to escape. Every subtle movement send penetrating pain throughout my body. I was wounded, both soul and body. I don't know what to do. Continuing was something that came first from my mind. I wasn't able to think clearly. I've limped all the way home crawling, limping, tumbling, and puking blood.

Caelan POV

What have I done?! My arms are shaking. I want Oliver to know that I didn't mean all of this to happen. It was Xavier's fault! the leader of the Snake Gang.

They blackmailed me into hurting him and bullying him or else they would kill him before I knew.

I don't want them to hurt him! I know what that Gang can do to my Oliver.

The moment Oliver walked into the class. There's just something about him that makes me want to protect him. I know people have been hurting him and I want to kill them for that!

I've seen the bruises all over his body and my heart ached so much seeing him in such situation.

I would never forget that time when he was sprawled across the streets. I wanted to take him home but Mom wouldn't accept him. That's why I brought him a loaf of bread from the basket mom had. I wanted to hug him but it was time to go said Mom.

Oh Oliver. I love you so much!

His bloodied form haunted me.

I can't sleep that night.

The next day I came to school early as possible in order to find oliver's whereabouts and perhaps talk to him all about this and that I didn't mean to.

But they said he-he's dead.

Oliver's dead. My Oliver

They told me that he committed suicide in his apartment. Cutting and making himself bleed and from that moment on. I knew I was dead. Tears started streaming down my face. My body's shaking in disbelief and I can't think properly. I wanted to kill myself.

He's dead. My Oliver is dead.

i was wondering some things about wanda. between aou and cacw, what do you think she did when she wasn't training/hanging out w/ other avengers? grieving pietro & cursing stark's name can't be all wanda does. That's existing, not living. also i doubt she'd accept money knowingly related in anyway to stark, so how did she support herself? or did she not care/know how the avengers were funded & if that's case, how did that work out? i'm so confused by wanda. what's your take on this?

I’m gonna address this in two parts. This gets... incredibly long, so I’m putting it beneath a cut but, tl;dr: 1) the Maximoffs were codependent and therefore grief is a whole other kettle of fish, 2) I think Wanda would take money from Stark if only so he doesn’t have it, besides which, she has no clear way to support herself otherwise.

between aou and cacw, what do you think she did when she wasn't training/hanging out w/ other avengers? grieving pietro & cursing stark's name can't be all wanda does. That's existing, not living. 

You seem to be missing the (very important for understanding the twins) fact that the Maximoff twins were incredibly codependent. Pietro visibly relies more on Wanda than she on him, but their codependency does very much seem to be mutual. When you leave a codependent relationship - be it by choice, by rejection, or by the other party dying... you suddenly have nothing. The twins were each other’s worlds, just about everything bound back to ensuring the other’s wellbeing and/or their vengeance, which they believed was key to their continued and lasting wellbeing.

After Wanda tears out Ultron’s heart, she seems to collapse. She makes no effort to try to save herself even though she knows the rock is going to be exploded. She curls in the wreckage of the tram, by the torn open corpse of Ultron’s primary, and she does nothing. I think, in honestly, she was passively suicidal - she was not going to make any attempt to save herself, and, with Pietro gone, I think she believed that there was no one left in the world who would care enough to try to get her out, get her to safety. When Novi Grad falls and Vision comes to get her... she’s surprised. She doesn’t expect it. She expected to be left to grieve and to die because Pietro isn’t there anymore. 

I think it takes her at least a week, possibly a month before she pulls herself entirely out of the depression Pietro’s death causes. I think that, at first, she spends a lot of time with Clint who - as he says himself, owes a debt. Clint owes Wanda the price of her brother’s life and I explore this in a few fics, most relevantly here Driving for Many Hours. 

(I also think that Steve tries and that’s why she has the cross pendant in her room, but I don’t think Steve quite gets it - as I say in Best, “He thinks he understands, that his Bucky means he knows what I feel having lost Pietro. He doesn't. His Bucky is alive, and that gives him hope. My Pietro is dead, and I have none.”) 

I think Clint, for the most part, gives her space but also ensures she’s not alone - when like that, as Wanda would be, being alone is the worst thing that can be. You lose time. You forget to eat when you’re hungry and then it gets to a point that you’re not sure if its that you’re hungry or that you feel like you’re gonna be sick. You sleep a lot and lose more time. I think Clint stays at her side and tries to keep her from this, and I think this is how she gets to know the Barton family - and yeah, I do agree with the actors’ statements in interviews that they think Wanda visits the farm. God, I mean Clint’s youngest is named for her brother. Of course she visits.

So, she starts recovering from the deep well of codependent grief. She visits the Bartons a lot - probably babysits the Barton kids, plays with them, helps out at the farm with Clint’s building projects. But I think it gets to a point that these don’t occupy her enough, and this is when she goes back and starts training. I think she buries herself in training, only really emerging to socialise when Vision or Clint point out she’s done nothing but for a few days straight. I think they talk to her and this is how she gets close to Vision. I also think that, as part of training, Sam insists all the Avengers get counselling. I don’t think Wanda opens up much in this, so the counsellor is left trying to help with symptoms but not able to tackle the cause. I think this is why she has the acoustic guitar in her room.

I think she takes time to learn more about where they are - she suggests in CACW to Vision that she go out to get food which suggests she knows the local area, can probably drive (as I put in Prompt: Driving Lessons I’m willing to be she already knew how to drive just not... legally) so I imagine she knows the local area, probably goes to a library and/or a museum, sits and reads and observes people in cafes. I think she plays draughts and backgammon and chess with Vision, I think she watches the news and basically... lives in all of those small day-to-day ways? Like... why wouldn’t she?

also i doubt she'd accept money knowingly related in anyway to stark, so how did she support herself? or did she not care/know how the avengers were funded & if that's case, how did that work out? 

Well, I don’t think, by the end of the Battle of Novi Grad, Wanda cared enough to hate Stark. She fucked with his head - and she knows this - and now he’s fighting to try to undo what he believes he did. I think, on some level, she can respect that. I also think that, by the Skirmish in Seoul, the twins had given up on their vengeance - if their final attempt at vengeance with powers that finally put them on a level with the Avengers resulted in that, in Ultron and omnicide and “the only thing left in the world... will be metal”, I don’t think they’d care to try again. I think they’d accept they’d fucked up Stark more, they’d made him confront, to some degree, his own arrogance, and now they see him fighting against his own creation... because he knows it is the right thing to do, the only thing to do.

Suddenly being faced with someone you’ve hated from a distance can seriously force you to re-evaluate that hatred. And I think the twins, with the combination of the mess from Ultron and then Stark still fighting against his own creation, I think they’d accept that they’d got as much as they could. Had Pietro lived, I imagine they would have wound up Tony a lot, and been minorly antagonistic towards him, but I think they were settled on the vengeance front.

(If anyone wants to comment about Stark making Vision also being arrogant then I’d say that probably the twins noticed that it was Thor who completed Vision’s creation and he who explained the importance of the stones, and I imagine that overrode much of the perceived influence Stark had on Vision’s creation.)

So. I think Wanda knows that Tony funds the Avengers and I think she decides to accept that, but probably with some conditions. I imagine she demands he look more into the sales of shells such as the ones which killed her parents and trapped her and her brother, and I imagine as well she demands that small, overlooked countries stop being meddled in and fed Starktech weapons - which given Tony stops making weapons and has continued tracking down missold Starktech... I think he’d accept. Especially given this girl’s brother just died. Tony can be arrogant, he can be a prick, he can be purposefully childishly antagonistic... but he does also know when a point has been reached, and I think he’d rather accept a tentative truce with someone who’s going to be a new Avenger than flatly refuse them and cause everyone trouble.

Also: spite. It is a powerful motivator. As I say above I imagine that, if Pietro had lived, the twins would have wound Tony up somewhat, childish teasing and being slightly antagonistic much as Tony can be slightly antagonistic even to his friends. With Pietro gone, I imagine it pleases Wanda slightly to accept Starks money if only so he doesn’t have it.

Further, it’s worth noting that Wanda doesn’t have any way to support herself. To quote Stark in CACW: “Weapons of mass destruction don’t get visas” - Wanda isn’t considered a person, she doesn’t have a visa, or a passport. She probably has some not-entirely official paperwork saying that she’s an enhanced Sokovian citizen working with the Avengers, but she has no visa, no passport. And yes, you can say that undocumented immigrants can and do work, but it’s also worth noting that Wanda gets well known. As I recall there was a thing going around a few years ago talking about how it can become hard for even slightly well-known YouTubers to hold down any job where their face gets seen, because fans start tracking them down or trying to talk to them while they’re on the job - imagine that happening when you’re not a YouTuber, you’re a superhero with legit superpowers. Unless the nearby town is like... entirely well-vetted ex-SHIELD agents and Stark Industries employees I can’t see her getting a job and even if it was I think Wanda would feel more than a little as though they were just doing it to humour her, and I don’t think that would go down well.

I think that covers just about everything? If you have more questions regarding the Maximoffs - or fic prompts - feel free to send them in.

I'm back...

Hello.

I don’t really know how to start this if I’m honest.

It’s been a long while (yeah no shit dumb dumb *facepalms*) and well, things have happened. Some of big degree and some of little importance.

Current status?

I’m feeling shit.

Yes, you may leave. This will not be clean. But when I made this blog and when I titled the description, I meant what I said.

If you no like; bye bye stranger.

If you do but you ain’t into this type of honesty. See you later, mater.

…

So, where to begin…uh, I don’t have the best memory so I believe I shall start around Christmas time 2016.

Life was going semi-okay; school and personal problems were hassling but durable. But during that time I lost two of my mates; one of which I’m closer than the other. It was a whole group thing – we all decided to cast them away because of something they did (I would say what but due to its authenticity and specificity; I can’t take the risk of someone I know recognising it because frankly I’d rather have no-one I know in real life, knowing I am the owner of this blog— not because I’m ashamed; more so of the fact I am a very private person. Which is quite ironic considering I am quite open about everything and everyone— other than myself. But I digress.)

— and so my group casted them away and they were gone throughout the last term before Christmas break; it was hard because I lost my closest mate and my really good friend. But that was resolved quickly after the term and we’re all okay.

See? That wasn’t too bad aha.

Well, we haven’t got to 2017 yet and that’s when things start to go downhill…

So it’s the beginning of the new year and I guess you could say I was hoping for a much better year than 2K16. But when has Lady Luck EVER been on my side? Never. So, like the cow Lady Luck is; it brought me a ton of obstacles and hoops to jump through. To which I failed tremendously.

(I also forgot to add; Been alive for half a century, divided by 2 and subtracted by 10. Yay.)

In January; school had picked up and like the Army Officer it is, really started to tire me out. I was struggling with the work and the homework. It was a mess. It sounds fairly simple and in fact; I imagine many of you to be quite unimpressed by me because “kid, you don’t even know what tiredness is *rolls eyes*” — and you’re probably right, I do not. But you probably don’t know what it feels like to have to be up to the brim in GCSE coursework as well as revision because students love tests! (Wait–wait, maybe you do actually, okay well I had some mental stuff going on too so that counts?)

But again, I am straying off de topic. So anyways, Jan. Tiring. Made me very stressed. Stress is not good. Lotta spots for me, brother. I hate acne. Especially stressed-related ones. But. I. Digress. Again.

Which brings me to February; aww Feb. Poor, sweet, juvenile Feb. Always been a month that tends to fly by so quickly and probs the most boring – seriously though, what actually happens in Feb that is interesting? Nothing. That’s it. But, for me Feb; well Feb was an eye opener for sure. I’m not the type of person to beat around the bush for one thing so I’ll be out with it – quick'n'easy like a bandage.

I discovered two things; My mental state was way beyond fucked. Two? I’m not as strong as I thought I was.

And for me to have discovered this, well it was certainly big. You see my family is not the type of family to ask if ones okay and find the solution; we are more of the ‘ask if you’re okay but if you say anything out of the norm then forget it’ — we always have been. Well, at least I think we have. I’m not really close with my family, but I blame that on the stuff going up in my cranium.

So anyways, my head = not in a good state then (or now). Explanation? I don’t know.

In fact, I think it hasn’t been in a 'good state’ for a while. Possibly ever since the summer of '16 (and maybe before…?) which would mean whatever I’ve been manifesting is suddenly making itself known and to be honest the manifestation is quite large. I don’t know what I have to be frank; I don’t know if it’s depression or if it’s something else, in all honesty I feel kind of stupid for just assuming it’s 'depression’. I feel like that nowadays that word is tossed around so much it just feels stupid to say “I’m depressed” with anyone actually taking you seriously. Plus, I never thought I could be depressed or even in such a state of mind.

Which lead me to my epiphanic of uncovering the truth of my mental strength.

It isn’t that strong.

You see, I always thought for a long time in my life that I’m the type of person who doesn’t breakdown, who knows how to build themselves back up again if the going gets tough; the type of human who will never let themselves fall so far down the well of “depression” because I’m just not like that. Full stop.

But I realised in the second month of the year, that I’m none of that; I’m just extremely good at ACTING like I am. Like I am strong, like I can’t breakdown, like I can’t be “depressed”. I realised that I’m so used to being in this mind state that my head has adapted to feeling like this and since I have a slight fear of being mentally unwell; it simply taught me how to ACT like everything’s okay. When in fact…

Everything really isn’t fucking okay.

Now I could type here for ages and ages about my stresses, my worries, my problems etc etc but that would make this so long that it would be the equivalent of 3 Harry Potter books…aaaand since I’m not JKR and I don’t have that type of time; I’ll just summarise, summarise, summarise!

Here we go; so after my big discovery in Feb, it lead to all sorts of things — I started to become more aggressive and more sad; which led to more acting because even if I knew I had a mental health problem it still didn’t mean I wanted to get help or – god forbid ACTUALLY talk about it! So I started to distract myself; distractions, distractions, distractions = my best friend. The more I distracted myself, the more I (believed) had less time to dwell on my (rapidly becoming real) mental health illness. So I took up having some cigarettes from time to time because it made me feel calm and yes I know of the dangers but pocketing a couple of my dads cigarettes wasn’t going to kill me okay? Plus, I always told myself (still do now) to never buy my own pack because that for me would lead to an addiction. Amongst that; I did other things like lash out, do drugs (I DID THIS ONCE BTW) and just things that really weren’t good for me.

So with me doing all this and believing it would prolong my mental health illness awakening; I didn’t realise that instead of PROLONGING my MHI, I just kept feeding it. With all the things I did, they lead to consequences; every time I would smoke, I would feel bad– horrid even, the fear of becoming addicted lead to me feeling shameful (more for the MHI monster to eat), every time I would steal my dad’s wine bottle and drink it for myself, I would feel disappointed that I would stoop so low and thus gave the monster an even bigger meal and every time I tested my parents patience or acted kinda rude to my mates; it fed my monster STRESS because I would stress about what their reactions would be and ugh it was not good.

But here I am typing as if I overcame it all and everything is well again; for your information mi amiga; it ain’t. In fact I still am going through all this and frankly I’m tired. Exhausted. Fatigued. But knowing me and my coping methods; my brilliant acting skills will be back at it again for the next couple of months until I guess I break or something.

This whole text post sounds weird tbh; I don’t like how I’ve written it but it’s honest. And I have more to talk about as well but there just isn’t enough time in the day (or so I say) and besides; it gives me a good reason to post sooner.

However, regardless of all the bad; I have dipped a finger back into my pool of story writing and it’s been a good thing for me to say the least. Another distraction tbh but better than wallowing in my head and assuming the worst.

So yeah, that’s it. That’s all I’ve got. I would say more but the effort is too unreal. So this shall be a goodbye and goodnight.

- A

Something I'm working on.           ( sorry about the layout)

The Poinceré recurrence theorem is the state that if something changes it will eventually after a finite amount of time return to its original form. Chapter 1: Johnny boy                                                 Josh's phone went off for the third time in class, getting him a detention for confiscation. Again. It's that girl he texted, spamming him with texts. He was sent out of his history class. Mr. Sanchez got fed up and is now tempted to give him an isolation for ignoring instructions. He is a popular, strong and intelligent boy which means most of the girls in his class like him. When they get his number, they cherish it like gold, or a gem. he is 14 and lives in Brighton not far from the station. His school is in burgess hill. Josh's hair is short and well cut. he is commonly found playing with it. Break finally rolls over and Harmony shout josh's name. Josh and harmony have been friends for about 2 years now and have created a close bond, so much so that people are "shipping" them together. And one of josh's friends is a young author and even devoted an entire chapter too the two. Harmony is a 14-year-old blonde girl and has most of her lessons with josh so, they are very close. It was awkwardly silent until harmony asked "so, how was history?"                                josh was totally off guarded by this question that all he could do was nod. "are you okay? You seem to be thinking about something," she continues. "yeah, I'm fine, it's just that... Never mind" josh trails off.  They both sit down on the cheap plastic tables next to a group of kids talking about a new animated series from Japan. Boring, just boring. Josh digs around into his bag. "josh, are you coming to tiffany's party?" Josh produces a small box filled with crisps a sandwich and a chocolate bar from his bag. "yeah, when is it?". Josh stuffs his mouth with the snickers bar he has. "tomorrow, at the park." Harmony's phone rings, she takes it her pocket and declines the call. "who was that?" Josh asked.                                                                                                     "don't know, don't care, don't want to know or care."  her phone rings again. "I might need to take this,"                                                                                     "ok, go ahead... I'll be here,". Harmony walks off and answers her phone.  Josh looks around for a friend, but no luck. Probably in a detention or something. Harmony sits back down.                                                                          "what was that about?" Asked josh.                                                                           "I-I-I-I just got the news that my parents both died in a car crash getting here," a tear rolls down her face. Josh can't think of anything to comfort or cheer her up. "Jesus Christ... Are you okay?"  josh finally spits out his words. "no... My parents just both died as well with a new child!". Harmony breaks down into a fit of tears. "I'm... Sorry... I-i-I-" josh was cut off by harmony. "its fine, just be more respectful next time." She gets up and walks away. "harmony wait!" Josh shouts getting attention of the entire hall. Harmony leaves the hall. The bell for lesson 3 suddenly buts in calling out for the end of break. Ms. Holley is a short lady with prominent eye shadow on at all times. The math's teacher from Holland is often made fun of for how short she is. Josh sits at the back of the class so he can easily talk to the person he sits next too. Juan de los is Josh's best friend and often talks to him in math's. Josh looks around for harmony but nothing. " hey Juan how's your new story?" Asks a girl sitting on the desk in front of Juan and josh                                                         "good, it's a mix between the hunger games franchise and the harry potter franchise." Responds Juan. "is it pornography like the last one?" Said the girl jokingly. "no." The girls giggle away in front of them. "hey Juan, did you hear that harmony's parents died earlier today?" Juan's eyes widen.                  "bloody hell. Really? " josh nods. "car crash." Josh adds.                                      "I could use this is in a story." Juan notes as he brings out a small note pad and starts to write on it. "you're a prick, you know that?" Juan rolls his eyes. Ms. Holley notices the fact that josh and Juan are talking and slowly walks over keeping a glance on the two. "what are you two buffoons talking about?" Shouts The 50-something miserable teacher.                                               "we were just talking about tomorrows test, miss," josh finally says.                 "okay then... what's that?" She points down to the notebook that Juan has on his desk. "oh, it's just homework..." He responds                                                  "if so then give it to me, I'm pretty sure I can give it to the correct teacher." She quickly says. "I'm pretty sure I can do it..." Juan says slowly getting more nervous with every word. " give me the paper." She snaps. Juan passes Ms. Holley the notebook reluctantly. She then starts to read it. " Justin and Lincoln both take their clothes off and..." She stops as the entire class giggles. "that's... Uhm..." Juan's face starts to get redder and redder.                               "I'll keep this." She says. "what do you mean?" Josh butts in. "I'll see you after class... Both of you!" She snaps again. She continues talking about algebraic geometry. The class laughing and talking about Juan and his weird addiction.  Suddenly the piercing sound of the broken bell in the math room is heard. Everyone leaves. Josh and Juan slowly walk to the front desk.               " miss, I'm really sorry about this... I..." Juan tries to explain a story but is stopped. "don't be... Its good." Juan's eyes widen. Josh holding back laughter. "next time write it with me and the new science teacher... I'd like to see him on his hands and knees..." She continues.                                                                    " Uhm... I've got to meet someone at lunch next so I need to go..." Juan says. "okay... Show me how it goes!" The teacher shouts. They slowly walk down the stairs down to the school changing rooms.                                                   "well then... Your first critic," josh said jokingly.                                                      " I genuinely was not expecting that"                                                                       "Neither,".                                                                                                                 They reach the canteen and Juan walks off to talk to a teacher about some homework or something. Harmony walks around the corner. In tears. She sits by the door at the other end of the room, sobbing into her hands.  She looks through her bag and takes out a notebook, it looks like a diary. She starts to write on it as someone walks over to her and talks to her, they start argue. The other girl slaps harmony round the face and walks off. Snatching the diary off of harmony. Josh runs over. "oh my god, harmony are you alright?" Josh attempts to comfort her. She looks up at josh, her hair hanging down to her legs. Black eye-liner coursing down her face from her eyes. She gets up and lunges towards josh wrapping her arms round him and hugging him.                              " thank you, josh." She comments. "for what?" Josh seems confused.          "for existing, do you want to get coffee after school today?" She finally talks. "I mean, I don't see why not," josh seems surprised. She unwraps her arms from around josh. "thank you josh, this is why I like you."                                       Harmony brushes her tears off from her face.                                                         "what was all that with you and her?" Josh is intrigued.                                    "oh, that's Jessica, she stole my book," harmony agitatedly gets up.            "why did she take it?".                                                                                                                    "she wants proof that I have depression, and that I don't like you in a relationship way,". Harmony looks worried. She collects up her bags as Juan walks over. " are you going to go get it?" Asks Juan.                                                    "no, it's not got anything interesting in it that you can obsess over," harmony walks off.                                                                                                                    "way to go, idiot," josh snaps at Juan.                                                                        "well sorry your girlfriend doesn't like me!" Juan shouts.                                  "it's your fault that you have a weird addiction with inappropriate stories! And she is NOT MY GIRLFRIEND!" josh walks off leaving Juan on his own. The bell goes signaling the end of lunch.       Josh waits outside the school where him Juan, harmony, Kim, Alex and Patrick meet up after school. Kim and Alex walk past him, to get to the station to go to somewhere in Wivelsfield. Patrick always has detention. And Juan has a club of some sort. Josh waits about 5 or 6 minutes as harmony finally walks through the set of double doors.                                                                               "what took you so long?" Josh asks.                                                                            "talking with the child protection officers by the math's block.". She says.  The two set off to walk past the car park, a couple of bins and a fenced off area where a supposed gang beat up two people to a pulp.                             "where do you want to go?"  josh seems interested.                                           "not Sure, how about the Costa around the corner?". She suggests.                     "too expensive, I've got about 8 pounds".                                                            "how about McDonalds?".                                                                                        "you said coffee, not pure fat.".                                                                              "true, how about we go to the new café and order something?".                  "why not,".   they walk around burgess hill high-street and eventually get to the suitably named "decisions".    they walk in and feel the sudden aroma of coffee and bacon.  There are two seats by the window close to the entrance. Harmony sets her bags under her chair and josh copy shoving his backpack under his chair. A waitress walks over and asks "so, what are you lovebirds having?".  Harmony giggles a bit.   "oh, were not a thing,".                                                       "oh, sorry,  would you like a menu?"  the now embarrassed waitress asks.           "Sure, and its fine by the way, you're not the first.".   the waitress smiles and walks off to get the menu. "so, how much are you thinking of paying?".  Harmony questions josh.                                                                                                 "I might just get coffee. ".                                                                                "same."    the waiter walks over again holding two menus, she passes one to josh the other to harmony.                                                                                         "actually, if you want to buy something, I can pay." Harmony adds            "really? How much have you got?".                                                                              "about 30-40 pounds." Harmony picks up her purse and looks through it. Bringing out a ten-pound note, 1 £20 note and 6 £1 coins. And places them on the table.                                                                                                              "you sure?".                                                                                                            "yeah, get anything.".                                                                                                   "ok, then... Can I have a decaf coffee and the bacon and cheese sandwich." Josh says to the waiter as she writes down his order.                                                 "I'll have the salad and a latté please," the waiter writes that down.              "that'll be £10.95 and do you want change?".                                                    "Nah, it's okay." Says harmony passing the waiter £11 altogether.  The waiter walks into the kitchen and shouts some numbers out.                                          "so, Uhm I'm sorry about going off at you earlier at break," harmony seems sad. "it's fine, we all have moments. And yours had a perfectly good explanation!". Josh says sympathetically.                                                                "It wasn't right.".                                                                                                         the waiter appears from the corner of the kitchen and passes them their orders.                                       The two eat in silence for about ten minutes. "I know this isn't a good time, but what were your parents like?" Josh seem nervous asking this because he knows she might react negatively. Harmony looks at josh with disgust.      "Yeah, no shit it's not a good time! I'm going home, see you at school." She gets up taking her bag with her, dropping a piece of paper in the rush. "Harmony wait, you dropped this!" Too late she's gone knocking past a year 7 josh recognizes. The year 7 kid walks in.                                                          "what was that?" He asks. "nothing, Walter... Nothing."

Chapter 2: Trapdoor Harmony wakes up in the middle of the school hallway, lying on the floor. Blood on her hands. The place is deserted, nobody around. Just harmony and her thoughts. In the distance at the end of the corridor is two figures, two still figures. Unmoving. Statue like. Empty. Harmony walks slowly towards the figures, to recognize them. Her parents. Her mother Vicky smith, is a tall woman with short frizzy hair. She is 43 and yet still looks 25. She's wearing a long black dress, with frilly fabric at the bottom. Her father, a busy man with long messy hair going to his ears and over his eyes. He's 45 and definitely looks it, wrinkles all over his face. He's wearing a black suit, with a red tie. Something's wrong, their covered in a red substance, blood. This instantly reminds harmony of the crash. The blood is sprayed all over the dress, her mother's hands and the same with the father. They dressed like they're going to a funeral, their own funeral.  This makes harmony cry. She runs towards Vicky, holding her arms out, waiting for her mother's embrace, but is met with the surface of the newly polished floor. Her nose is bleeding, she must of broke it. She gets up but everything is gone. Just black. Nothingness. Emptiness. Sadness.                     Suddenly harmony jerks upward, by the sound of her alarm. She smacks at the digital alarm clock. Its 7 o’clock.  At least She's not late for school. She slowly walks out of her bed. Throws on the uniform and picks her bag up to see a piece of paper is missing. The piece containing confidential information. Harmony looks in the mirror. Her hair going down to her hips, still messy and knotted. On her face she has small typical teenage lips, eyes and features any normal teen would have.  Her nose is fine, must have been a dream. She walks out the door for the new day to start. Walking past the news agents she see Juan buying something, he turns around and sees her and runs out the store.                                                                                                                “What was all that yesterday? In the café, I saw it.” He asks.                   “nothing, besides why the hell were you watching” harmony seems intrigued. “ just walking past…” He walks off to go to school. Josh examines the writing on the lost piece of paper. Mainly all scribbles. But something is written on the back. Names… it’s a list of names. He goes through them… Juan, Jessica, Leo, Matthew, Kim and josh. Why? Josh sits there in a mix of confusion and wonder until behind him he hears;                “you coming to my party after school?” This catches him off-guard. He looks up to see tiffany smiling at him.                                                                                    " yeah sure, where?” Josh asks.                                                                                   "my place, 6:45!" She responds.                                                                              "great, see you there.".   josh looks at his phone, its 10:42. Almost end of break. Harmony walks into the hall, looking tired. She walks over to josh. He quickly hides the paper and  shoves it in his pocket. "morning..." Josh says. No answer. She's quiet... Too quiet. "are you okay?" Josh keeps trying to interact but he is getting ignored for once.                                                                  "I'm fine." She finally responds.                                                                              "you don't look it," says tiffany eavesdropping on the conversation.                    "go away," says both harmony and josh in-synchronized. This makes them both laugh. "Uhm, you dropped this yesterday..." Josh hands harmony the note.   she seems confused.                                                                                           "if you have this then... Who has...?" Harmony walks off.                                 "who has what?" Josh asks.                                                                                   "never you mind!" She picks up her bag and leaves.                                       "she's full of mystery's that girl, you know?" Tiffany is still eavesdropping.           "yep, indefinitely... Wait... What are you still doing here?" Josh asks.               "Oh, ok... I'm going to go then." Just as tiffany walks out the door the bell goes. Signaling next lesson.

Their PDC teacher, Mr. Thims, is a tall young man. Who has clearly had alcohol problems and is surprisingly still employed. He is currently talking about a mental disorder called schizophrenia. Something to do with delusions, josh didn't listen. Harmony puts her hand up and asks                          " How does someone get this mental disorder?" The class somewhat agrees with that question and start talking.                                                                 "alright everyone shush!" Shouts the teacher, as everyone shuts up.              "good question harmony, schizophrenia is caused by traumatic experiences such as a death of a family member or parents who have had a long history with smoking or schizophrenia." This upsets harmony since she has had a family member die, two in fact. Does this mean she has it? She then asks        "I've had a family member pass away, does this mean I have it?". The entire class looks at harmony in shock. She hears people asking how, when and where. It even sounds like people are laughing at her. How could they. It almost looks like the teacher is laughing. At her... Everyone laughing at her misery, she cry's. Screaming almost. Shouting at everyone.                                                                                                              "Fucking stop you're hurting me! Stop please,".    a tear runs down her eye. the class look at her. They have been silent the entire time. The teacher, now angry, shouts at her to leave the class. She obeys and picks her bags up and walks out.  The class talk about her for the rest of the lesson. She starts to pick up pace, turning into a run. Running to the girls toilets. Locking herself in a cubicle. Crying. She picks up her bag and drags a small razor blade out. She pushes it into her wrist. And slides. She watches the small droplets of blood drop of her arm.                                                                                                              The pain flowing out                                                                                                      the regret flowing out                                                                                                   the life flowing out.                                                                                                   She almost smiles.                                                                                                        The pain decreasing with every slit.   She takes a piece of paper and almost writes with her own blood.   she patches the cuts up. She feels weak. And tired. Why?... The blood loss. She slowly closes her eyes and passes out. Still alive. Just weak.         She wakes up in a car. Blood rushing out of her leg. Vision almost blurry. She looks at the front two seats and sees her two parents in each other's arms. Still breathing. Crying. Her mother talks.                                                                  " I'll remember you, I will." She coughs up a small puddle of blood. The father looks at her mother in sadness.                                                                                   " I, I, I'm sorry. I just wanted to get to the hospital quicker. What about harmony? How is she going to deal with it?" Harmony cry's.                            "I'm sure she will get through this like a champ, hey she might forget us in a couple of years you know." Her breathing slows down to a struggle. She slowly closes her eyes. Passing away painfully.                                                         "I won't forget you mum, I never will!"  harmony shouts. Her father joining Vicky coughs and splutters one last time. Both dead. Harmony had the front seat for her parents death.

"harmony... Harmony... Wake up!" She hears.                                                   "are you okay? You've been out of class since third period!". Says the voice. "what?... Who are you?". Harmony responds.                                                           "You know me, I'm tiffany! The fun party thrower!"   Harmony's vision is still incredibly blurred.                                                                                                   "oh, what time is it?" She asks.                                                                        "about 2:45, and what's that on your arm? Did you hurt yourself?"  tiffany's curiosity annoys harmony.                                                                                       "no, go away." She says with Solemn anger. She gets up, Picks her bag up and leaves. Tiffany follows.