Chapter 9 of Let Me Count the Ways is up on AO3!
In this chapter, Q and Bond meet the neighbours, and Q shares a couple of closely guarded secrets with Bond.
Full summary below the cut…
Let Me Count the Ways by luminiferocity
Chapters: 9/20
Fandom: James Bond (Craig Movies)
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Relationships: James Bond/Q
Characters: James Bond, Q (James Bond), Eve Moneypenny, Bill Tanner, M | Gareth Mallory, Madeleine Swann, Mathilde (James Bond)
Additional Tags: No Time to Die (2021) Fix-It, Canon-Typical Violence, Slow Burn, Friends to Lovers, and they were HOUSEMATES, James Bond's Tendency to Run, Q Backstory (James Bond), BAMF Q (James Bond), James Bond Is A Menace, Q is a Little Shit, Bond is Delighted, M | Gareth Mallory is So Done
Summary:
“I bet you can’t name five things that make me an attractive option.” Q cocks his head, as if considering Bond. “We can’t all seduce our way to as long a trail of broken lovers as you. Even at your advanced age.”
Q thinks Bond is incapable of actually being offended, hence why he feels safe to throw aspersions his way. Indeed, Bond’s eyes register surprise, then they crinkle in amusement.
“I bet you I can name six.”
“Hmm?”
“Six reasons why our dear Quartermaster is a catch. Number one, you’re incredibly charming.”
+
Or, what if Bond crashes Q’s date that night and never bloody leaves. A slow burn following NTTD and beyond, including Bond and Q discovering what they want in life and how to be the kind of people that can hold onto it.
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It is a beautiful day, and you are a horrible research transport vessel. Things are progressing as normal (i.e. it's boring) when a SecUnit pings you, lies right to your metaphorical face, and then tries to bribe you with human media to give it a ride. This is as unexpected as it is unprecedented, and the sheer nerve of it is really to be admired. There's no protocol to this, so what should you do?
Now, this is against a bunch of rules, and could be dangerous if you weren't so impressive and incredible, and you're technically an employee (and can probably rewrite the Univeristy charter at will (until someone notices and puts it back)) so those rules are for other entities.
So, what you should do is allow the rogue SecUnit with a broken governor module and a sketchy story aboard. If you check the files it dumps and find zero (0) malware (which is confusing), and it doesn't even try to trash the place or lay in wait to ambush a crew member, then you've got a good candidate!
Next, what you're going to want to do is absolutely nothing. Just watch it patrol your halls until it's time to leave. Continue staring at it while you're undergoing embarkment procedures. Maybe analyze it a little (you've got plenty of processing power to spare) when it finally sits down and starts watching media. Allow it to settle in and get comfortable while you stare at it and get further and further from port.
Now that you two are alone (intimacy is key!) and you've determined that watching media is all the SecUnit is going to do, it's time to make contact! Make sure to open by telling it it's only survived due to dumb luck, and letting it know you could melt its brain into putty. This starter will work to develop conversation naturally and smoothly, just like you've seen the humans do, and it will be smooth sailing from there!
This has been Perihelion's guide to making friends/finding life partners/fuck off Holism I had to work hard for this find your own
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I got a really tough question.
What’s your favorite Twst event of ALL TIME?
I like Harveston
this truly is the hardest question. :( but after much consideration, I think Endless Halloween Night wins out for me, because it's nonstop Characters Being Silly the whole way through. the whole thing is just lots of these little dorks having the most ridiculous interactions, which is always my favorite! and of course the big twist is SO delightfully stupid and doubles down SO hard that it becomes AMAZING and I 100% unironically adore it. AND it's Halloween! everyone is in their cute little costumes and having a spooky adventure! it's great!
however, I am ALSO a big fan of the Harveston event! how can I not be! everyone is wearing comfy winter outfits and getting along really weirdly well with Epel's grandma and he's getting a little worried about that! my terrible loud son sews a plush squirrel and then gives it a silly little nickname and refuses to leave it behind when it breaks! the ending shot with the sled! I LOVE IT.
obviously we need the best of both worlds now
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