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dduane · 6 months

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By the way...

it was sort of last week, or maybe during the week before—I forget— when @petermorwood came downstairs to get tea while he was working on some long post or another full of guns and swords and assorted deadly weaponry—or cats, or food, or historical clothing, you know what he's like... and all of a sudden he said:

"So what about Cyber Monday?"

And I wasn't sure where that was coming from, as Peter normally doesn't spend a lot of his time being concerned about cyber stuff in general.

"Uh, why?" said I.

"Well, it's the Young Wizards anniversary month. Shouldn't you be doing some kind of sale offer over on Twitter, the way you did on Tumblr?"

My mouth kind of opened and shut again. Mostly at the moment when I think of Twitter, it's in terms of imagery involving things circling the drain at ever-increasing speed. And as far as Cyber Monday went, I hadn't really thought about it. This year I noticed that I've started kind of lumping it in with Black Friday, which mostly increasingly makes me mutter and shake my head as I see what my email box gets to look like this time of year. And since I'd been mostly preoccupied with writing issues and website crap lately, you could kind of multiply that not-caring by two. Or five. Or some power of ten.

...Yet he had a point. And what the hell, at least putting a video up there would remind people that the series existed! (Because people do seem to keep forgetting, and then suddenly bursting out with OH WAIT ARE THESE THOSE BOOKS I LOVED WHEN I WAS A KID, WAIT, YOU MEAN SHE WROTE THOSE, I THOUGHT ALL SHE DID WAS STAR TREK?!) (Eyeroll.)

"But I told them on Tumblr," I said, "that I wasn't going to do any more of these sales for the foreseeable future."

"Looks like you forgot to foresee this," said Himself, dumping half a cow's worth of milk in his tea as usual. "Look, if you do it just one more time, I bet they'll forgive you as long as you tell them about it so they can take advantage of it if they want to." Then he snickered. "And anyway, you told them you weren't going to do any Sherlock/Young Wizards fusions either, and look how that turned out." More snickering. "They forgave you for that. Eventually."

"Oh god."

"Just tell them. They'll let you off the hook." Up the stairs he went, still snickering. "Sometime in mid-2024 probably."

(eyeroll)

Dammitall, I hate it when he has a point.

So look. Here's the discount page. There's the video, two paragraphs down. You all know the drill. The "All the Wizardry" package is $29.99 today. The "I Want Everything You've Got" package is $40 just for today. Anybody who hasn't taken advantage of one of these offers previously, or didn't have the cash earlier, or wants to point somebody else at it...go knock yourself or -selves out with my abslute blessing. (Because who knows whether anybody on Twitter will notice at all, the way the algorithm's been behaving.)

And: everybody please forgive me. (abases herself before the assembled multitudes in the approved manner)

(...Anyway, WTH, it's worth a try. I want to get this friend of mine a new fountain pen for Christmas, and every little bit helps...) :)

(And a final reminder: we can't sell to people in Britain / the UK, it's a Brexit problem ... so sorry about that.)

#just one more time folks #young wizards anniversary #sale #Ii hate it when he's right #(eyeroll)#meantime #don't anybody mention fountain pens #seriously #:)

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salmalin · 7 months

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I Wanna Talk About "Comments"

IMG ID: Yknow go figure you’d abandon this for a popular fandom… goes to show you just write for attention and instant gratification. May as well just delete this. It’s clogging up space. To do all this and walk away for mainstream games is so typical for people like you who claim to be in it for the art. You’re in it for the ratio, you’re in it for your massive ego, so just delete it.

I've been getting a few comments like this lately, and this one is honestly the least biting, but I've been seeing enough of them that I've decided to post this.

I've already deleted this "Named" Anon Comment off the fic, and I'm not going to reply to them, but I wanted to take a moment to talk about this mentality, and why comments like this make no sense.

Basically: They're angry that I'm taking a break from this fic from a small fandom—a fic they've never interacted with—while I'm also writing another story for another fandom that happens to be bigger. This bigger fandom fic has (despite being in first-person with a non-linear storytelling style, famously hated formats) gained a bit of attention. Which is fine. That happens.

So let's talk about why this comment sucks, and why it fails at every level to be any form of criticism, constructive or otherwise.

"abandon this for a popular fandom" Everyone can see that this fic is marked as incomplete. Whoever this is, they chose to click on an incomplete fic that hasn't been updated in eight months—only eight months. A drop in the bucket, really, and the time I went between chapter 5 and chapter 6 was over a year. This is on them. They do not get to put this on the writer. At any point they could have stopped. At any point, they could have closed the fic. They knew this from the get-go. They did not. This was their decision, and they're trying to blame me for their despair. They made it through 245k before they reached this point, and I know because they commented on the last chapter specifically.

"you just write for attention and instant gratification" "Instant"? I don't think this person knows how writing works. Like, on a fundamental level. This story started getting posted in 2020, with my most recent update this year (2023), and they think writing and posting something is looking for "instant gratification". Bold to assume this is "instant". (Bold to assume we have any control over it at all.)

"May as well delete this. It's clogging up space." AO3 is only limited by its server size, and my fic is a drop in the bucket. It is not taking up much in the way of space. Besides, just because something is unfinished does not mean it doesn't belong on AO3. That's why you're allowed to upload chapter by chapter. That is a critical function of the website. It's also an archive, which means it's designed to hold information, finished or unfinished. Again, shame on the reader.

"You're in it for the ratio; you're in it for your massive ego." These are not only assumptions, but if this person is really so opposed to the idea of people doing things for attention, they should ignore children when they need food, only read published novels that are obviously written in a desperate grab for money, and never go on AO3 ever again. If writers didn't want attention, they wouldn't post online for free because they'd just keep it to themselves. And if commenters didn't want attention, they wouldn't comment. (But then would we even have a fandom, if no one's talking to anyone else?) Is this the attention they wanted? Probably. I've found that people like this seem to thrive on the misery they inflict on others.

If y'all care to know why this person was so abysmally wrong in this specific context: (if not, just skip to the end of the list.)

This fic that they're complaining I left for a bigger fandom? I actually left that bigger fandom for this fic. That "bigger fandom" was the first video game I was ever obsessed with. It was 1997, and I wasn't even allowed to touch the console. My brother destroyed the final disc in a fit of rage. I've never even beaten the final boss. It has been 26 years, and for a solid 15 of them I was desperately trying to figure out what I wanted to write for the pairing that changed my life. This fic that they're complaining about me "abandoning" Fires of War for has been rolling around in my brain for longer than the media for Fires of War has even existed. In fact, when you search my username here on tumblr, an ask I sent another user laying this out is essentially the first thing you see. (At least, right now.) In fact, my current user pic is from Fires of War. I did not change it because there's no need to.

Fires of War is actually still in progress, and they would have known this if they read the other comments on the same chapter they complained on. I originally took a break from FoW due to stress, and because no matter what I tried, the next chapter just wasn't working. After a break, I realized why—the outline was broken and needed to be adjusted. Meanwhile, the other fic I'm working on to relieve that stress is much, much easier to write. In my eyes, it's much lower quality, as well. It requires fewer stages of editing. The words flow easily because they're much closer to my speaking voice. I'm not constantly researching cultures I know little about for fact checking and world building and (I shit you not) intercontinental politics. (I once researched the GDP, climate, and economy of Spain in 1986 for several hours and proceeded to have a three hour debate with my editor about a plot point. Yes. Three hours.) Oh, and I don't have to write anything in Iambic Fucking Pentameter. (Yes, that's a thing in Fires of War. They are complaining that I "abandoned" a story that has bits of dialog in god-forsaken Iambic Pentameter. Even at my peak, I wrote 8k in two weeks. But with my current "popular" fic, I can whip out 14k in one. That's how much easier it is.)

I want to turn those "ratio" stats off. I've mentioned this to people a few times, actually—I wish there was a way to turn all stats off on the Archive. They actually give me anxiety. I don't want to know how many comments are on my fic, or kudos are on a little obscure piece. I think that information should only be accessible to the writer, like Tumblr follow counts.

Literally talk to me for three seconds and you will be sick of how into the art of it I am. Holy shit, I cannot shut up. I will include required reading. I will rant about the details I put in for plotlines ten chapters out. I will give you a crash course in tone, word choice, and counting verbs. And yes, I count verbs! Holy fuck I am autistic as hell and this is my special interest. I love writing so much. It's my favorite thing in the world. Please stop my I CAN'T STOP I LOVE WRITING SO MUCH GOD IT'S THE ONLY THING THAT KEEPS ME FUCKING SANE. So you can imagine how misguided I think someone is when they say I'm not into the art of it. It just exposes them as someone who doesn't know what art is.

I'm a hermit who doesn't really go online much aside from using Discord as a free texting app because for some reason every texting app I've gotten has been broken. I legit do not like attention. I talk to like four people a day outside of work. I don't even like it when people complement me too much. Even if I went above and beyond, just one sentence is more than enough and move on, please. It's good to know my actions have had positive consequences, because that's crucial for my brain processing said consequences so I can continue said action in the future because I know I didn't do something wrong, but repeated praise makes me uncomfortable. It took me a long time to understand this about myself. This seems antithetical at first, but I do like the comments that break down the themes, execution, etc. in my fics. If they're breaking things down, moving to point to point about parts they enjoyed, there are giving me critical feedback. They tell me what thy enjoyed, and what was picked up. It's extremely useful feedback to know what they enjoyed, and what stood out to them. It helps me write better stories on the future, and hones how I get my point across. Besides, what is art that doesn't spark innovation and thought? It is forgotten.

The strongest hate is born of love—misguided though it may be—and this person has made that clear. Obviously they care about this fandom or they never would have commented like this. But if they knew more about people and less about what they want everyone to give them, maybe the spaces around them would be safer for the people in their lives—or the people they brush against online.

Comments like this often make people not want to write their fic.

Thankfully, I'm actually am in it for the art, so they might be going out of their way to make the lives of everyone around them miserable, but they haven't achieved their goal here.

However, there are a lot of writers who critically need feedback; who need this positive reinforcement. It's also why it's so important to tell writers why you enjoy their work. Even if it's something small like "I like your word choice" or "I really liked this line" or "I can't wait to find out how they resolve this"—that's feedback more valuable than we can really quantify.

"I like your word choice."—The way you pay attention to the words you use is working with the tone.

"I really like this line."—The way this line is formatted is very memorable and hits better than the others. It may be good to pay attention to it to find out why.

"I can't wait to find out how they resolve this."—You have gotten a good grade in suspense, a thing that is possible and reasonable to achieve (or however that meme goes).

I am constantly learning. I am constantly growing and changing as a person and a writer, and other people are critical to this. Sitting in a room and shouting will not make you better at making jokes, and shoving your writing in a corner never to see the light of day will never give you the tools to communicate with other people.

Sometimes I feel like people like this *points to the top of the page* don't want to learn that lesson, because of the painful reckoning with their actions it will entail.

If this is you, or you have done something similar, I recommend going through, finding your old comments, and deleting them yourself, or even apologizing if you can. Clean up your own mess, so people like me don't have to do it for you. This is a public space. Act like it.

#my fic: fires of war #my fic: takemeout #fandom wank #fandom

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stephobrien · 3 months

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I’m coming from my vent account because I don’t want to get found out as a Jew on my main. Please, please stop posting in the antisemitism tag. You’re clogging it up and taking away a safe space for Jews by trying to delegitimise Jew hatred. Now, I don’t know if you’re good faith or not, but I’m leaning on no. You keep on going onto posts about Jew hatred from Jews, saying what boils down to ‘wow! I’ve learned so much from this!’ and then you go back to posting inflammatory things again. I mean, you posted something from Caitlin Johnstone, I can’t believe that you give a single shit about Jews (or Ukrainians) after that

As for your most recent post on how poor you just can’t believe lying Jews when we talk about discrimination because you’re scared we’re deceiving you, you put in a comment ‘If I'd seen said Arab nations' governments massacring thousands of civilians, while painting every single criticism of said massacre as Islamophobic, yes, I would have’. This is… I don’t even know how to tackle this, do you genuinely not know all of the horrific shit so many of the Arab states have done? Qatar is known as one of the biggest countries of modern slavery. The Houthis in Yemen sex traffic Ethiopian women, and also reintroduced slavery into Yemen. Just look at the atrocities so many of these countries have committed against Shia Muslims! Is your brain mush, how can you say this when there is so, so much evidence of the horrors that these nations have committed?! And if you think these states graciously accept criticism of those horrors… you’re being ignorant on purpose. And it’s still not okay to say that you don’t believe an Arab when they talk about anti Arab racism that they’ve experienced, I think we can at least agree on that. So why’s it not the same for Jews?

For a more personal example to Jews, look up the Mizrachi expulsion. The Arab states violently expelled almost a million Jews from their countries ‘because Israel’, which they only care about because it ruined their dream of pan Arabism, not because of any solidarity with the Arabs in the mandate btw. My family was lucky, we came from Iran, which is not Arab, so the violence was coming from the people rather than the state itself. But I’ve had to heard accounts from people talking about how they watched their family get shot in the head while their homes were repossessed for no reason other than the fact they were Jews. Is that bad enough for you? Does it even make a dent in your image of the Arab states? Or is it okay because it happened to Jews?

I know I sound very angry in this, and that’s because I am very angry. And that anger is completely justified! My life, and the lives of almost every Jew on this disgusting website, have been beyond horrible for five months. The number of times I’ve had to read about a new Jew hating shooting or stabbing in the world is too many too count. And then, non Jews like you decide to play the ‘oops, I just caaaan’t believe those Jews about Jew hatred because they could be zionists!’ (Which are around eighty percent of the Jewish population, but I don’t think you’re ready for that conversation yet, it’s reserved for people who actually want to learn). All of us are so unimaginably angry. All of us are at our fucking breaking point, or we’ve completely snapped already! The people you have interacted with have been some of the kindest, most levelheaded people here, but you’d better not get used to it, because we’re all tired of this bullshit

Thank you for taking the time to call me out. Between you and the several other people who contacted me about this, I’ve come to realize that that post was a terrible mistake.

It was meant to be a vent post about people who deliberately blur the lines around what’s actually antisemitism, and about my lack of certainty about my own ability to independently assess the less obvious instances of that (which is clearly still very lacking, as the response to that post made clear to me).

But it apparently caught a lot of innocent Jews in the crossfire, making them feel unsafe, unheard, and delegitimized. That wasn’t the intention, but it was clearly the effect. I screwed up badly, and I’m sorry.

I admittedly don’t know all the details about the horrific shit Arab nations have done. I was aware of Iraq’s government mass murdering protesters, and Saudi Arabia’s horrifically sexist laws, but some of the info you shared in this post is stuff I hadn’t previously heard of.

As for why I mentioned false accusations of antisemitism specifically, it’s because that’s the one I’ve seen several times a day lately, sometimes in the form of stuff like telling people who protest child murder that “You just don’t like it when Jews defend themselves.”

That said, you and the other people who responded have made it clear to me that that focus was based on an overly narrow view on my part. I’ve been more active in pro-Palestine circles than in circles that focus on the other situations you mentioned, so naturally that resulted in me seeing more antisemitism accusations than accusations focused on groups that aren’t directly involved in that conflict. So that resulted in a less than balanced viewpoint.

While my vent post was meant to be about one specific phenomenon I’d personally seen a lot of, the fact that I didn’t mention similar behavior on the part of groups I hadn’t personally seen as much of that behavior from did result in it being unjustly targeted, in a way I didn’t intend but should’ve assessed better.

What happened to you and other Jews at the hands of Arab nations (and pretty much every nation) was absolutely not okay. The effect my post had on you and other Jews who saw it was not okay. The treatment you’ve endured on Tumblr is not okay. And I’m sorry for the pain I caused you.

You have every right to be angry at me. I won’t ask you to forgive me or trust me, because I know I earned your anger with that poorly thought out post. I shouldn’t have made my own insecurities and frustrations other people’s problem like that. I screwed up badly, and I’m sorry.

#long post #I can be a dumbass sometimes #but I'm woman enough to admit when I screwed up #and this time I definitely did

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terraliensvent · 1 month

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I know its been said a lot here, but I really wish the server and species had just fully shut down and been done with when everything came out. Everything felt so final, and a huge mess was made (especially with the website), and I honestly don't know how they're going to continue. And now the community is back to promoting toxic positivity 🙃 but the problem is that for a lot of people, this was a wake-up call that you can literally just make your own terrarium head furries and no one can stop you. It's more fun, too, because you're not limited by a million restrictions.

And speaking of "limited", I can understand when a CS doesn't allow certain traits or makes them hard to get/rare if there's lore reasons, but what lore do Terraliens even have? The ONLY lore we have is basic shit or random stuff that pretty much has to be pried out of staff, because at the end of the day, the species wasn't created for community involvement, events, lore, and worldbuilding. It was created to make money. Plus, the concept is so painfully basic that they really can't do much with ut.

I understand why staff reacted the way they did, but then, why did they just make peace and forgive coy and basically forget everything so easily? (Also, I hate that Coy is still going to post terra adopts lol)

The species has gotta die at this point, right? First the situation with Ponyzilla, now all of this? Someone please put it out of its misery.

Okay I'm done yapping now 🫡

yeah, them trying to backtrack is just really a bad look. you opened the dam, now its done. the toxic positivity train also makes me lose my mind, like cool so lets all sweep shit under the rug again

and YES the lack of lore especially, its at least permissible to have illegal or ultra rare traits for lore reasons, but the only lore terras has is shit they pulled out their asses because people were getting annoyed there wasnt any after so fucking long

coy being allowed to still post adopts is just the cherry on top of a shit sundae, were just back at the same damn place we were BEFORE all this shit

#closed species vent #terralien #closed species #terraliens #vent #terras is over party

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skellagirl · 2 years

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i love how so many people in the comments are associating getting rid of child porn with getting rid of gay content, really pushing the vintage homophobia. ao3 has a child pornography problem, and it is not evil to want to address that. the fact that REAL CHILDREN have porn written about them is vile and it should not be something that is allowed on ANY website.

who even are you lol

anyway. Like, shit-tons of people have articulated this better than I'm about to, but yeah I'll give it a shot

When people, particularly queer people (like me) talk about censorship of fandom spaces inevitably leading to the purging of queer content, we're not pulling that concern out of our asses. It has happened Over and Over and Over and Over and Over again. It happened with fanfiction.net, with livejournal, with old-ass email lists and dinky web.1 sites and email lists made by tiny groups of people, it happened with tumblr, it even happened with youtube (the demonetization and soft-blocking of queer content, and when creators tried to appeal, they were told that their content was unsuitable for children (HMMMMMM))

There is a huge amount of historical precedent off of which to base the fear of censorship leading to the purging of queer content.

We're gonna put aside the dead horses of 'just because you write about something doesn't mean you endorse it in real life' and 'fiction =/= reality' (because I think those both often lack nuance when brought up in this conversation, and overlook some very real exceptions). Alright? We're not gonna beat those horses at all. Put them out of your mind.

I agree with you that real children having porn written about them is completely vile (honestly I hate rpf in general, but in the case of children it's especially reprehensible). I wouldn’t be sad at all to see underage fics be purged from AO3, honestly, if I thought there was a way to do that without it inevitably leading to queer content and queer creators being obliterated from the site. Which I don't, currently, because it's literally never been done.

The thing about associating queer content with csam (and pushing the 'vintage homophobia') is that QUEER PEOPLE AREN'T DOING IT. I keep seeing this come up like it's some blazing hot big-brain take, but it's just, incredibly fucking insulting. Knock it the fuck off with this asinine assertion that queer people are victimizing ourselves and bringing this association on of our own volition.

Take a look at any conservative twitter account (particularly conservative politicians) and count how many times they call queer folks (particularly trans folks, and especially trans women) 'groomers'. It's literally like, their big hot button issue right now, calling queer people pedophiles and groomers, and attempting to get legislation introduced which categorizes us as such

WE ARE NOT FUCKING DOING THIS. THEY ARE.

Okay so let's go on a little hypothetical journey, yeah?

You censor underage fics. Okay cool! What does that mean? Where's the line? What constitutes a child? Under eighteen? Under sixteen? The brain doesn't really stop developing until around twenty-five, so should that be considered the line? Is it still objectionable if both characters are underage? If both characters are, say, fifteen, and this fic was written by some horny fifteen-year-old who, whilst trying to figure out their own sexuality, just wanted to write about their blorbos fooling around, should that be purged?

When I was a teenager, I wrote about teenage girls being ravished by older men, because I myself was attracted to older men. Should I have been punished for that? Should my content have been deleted? It never felt like some mortal sin I should have to atone for; it was fantasy fulfillment through the safe space of fucking fanfiction.

If other teens do that, and post their fics online (because teenagers do indeed have a right to post their mature fics online if they want to), should they be required to divulge private information about themselves to justify their content existing? Should readers be required to divulge private information to verify their own teenagerhood before reading the fics, to prevent intergenerational cross-contamination? What if they lie? How would that be enforced? Is that even ethical, to force people to divulge actual, real life private information like that for the sake of keeping a fandom space 'morally pure'?

Moving on from that, let's say we somehow figure out how to purge only the truly morally bad and gross fics (which, to be sure, some of them are obvious and easy). Well, okay, but maybe while we're at it, we should go ahead and purge [insert additional objectionable content of your choosing here], because it also has no place in polite society.

And again, how do we draw that line? We could have that above back-and-forth conversation for every single morally objectionable category on AO3, and you will never find a solution that doesn't catch innocent people in the crossfire, nor will you ever find a solution that doesn't lead to further descent down the slippery slope of censorship

When conservatives (and yes, censorship is almost always inherently conservative) get a foot in the door of power, they do not stop. They might start with purging the obviously nasty and gross fics, but they will take it farther (and we know they will because again, this has already happened Over and Over and Over and Over). Queer content will inevitably, invariably, always be on the chopping block when censorship comes into play, because to conservatives, queer people are pedophiles just, inherently -- and thus our content is automatically categorized as csam or grooming material.

Sometimes the slippery slope is real. And there's heaps of historical and cultural precedent for this one in particular.

So like. I'm really solely concerned with queer content being purged, because I've literally watched it happen before, and I care more about queer rights, and queer content, and queer people in general, than I care about the murky morality of writing questionable fanfiction (which are, y'know, as a sidenote, nearly always appropriately tagged and warned for so as to be easily avoidable; the dead dove tag trend is a gift, actually)

AND..... this is all putting aside the fact that AO3 was never meant to be a moderated space in the first place. It's literally just an ARCHIVE, it's right there in the name. It has no morals of its own, nor any responsibility to bear such. It's like throwing your fic into a remarkably well-organized warehouse (perhaps, with bookshelves, and some sort of.... system to find what you want; I feel like we might have a name for these spaces in real life? but idk) and then peacing out.

anyway AO3 good, go suck a conservative's clown shoes since you wanna join their circus so bad

#archive of our own #will the notes on this devolve into complete bullshittery? we shall see #I like to think that I'm not a popular enough blog for that but yknow. anything goes when it comes to this topic #sorry if you saw this before I fixed tumblr's big formatting fuckups lol

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cosmic-kaden · 3 months

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Confession: I really hate this website. I don't understand how to make friends or why some things get interaction and some don't and although it's the only place with self shippers, I am so lonely most of the time I think I should just leave because what's the point? I also don't have any art or writing skills so can't post anything like that and my husband's world is not popular or one where other people self ship so it's not like I can even get into fandom stuff. Just so tired. I miss Livejournal (outing my age, lol). I GOT that. I just want people to know and remember he and I, we were, we loved. Our love existed.

anonymously confess something to you.

Awe, I'm sorry you're feeling so frustrated. You don't have to have the skill to draw or write. I used to be god-awful at both art and drawing but I just...practiced whenever I was able too. Practice makes progress after all, I didn't care if my writing or art was bad in comparison (not that you should compare) but I created it because it makes me happy!

Again, it's ultimately up to you on how you want to do things and in no way am I implying you should do it my way!!

You can always just love post! For a long while and I mean like... two years I hardly produced anything. All I did really was reblog other mutuals art/wrting and occasionally I would make a post just hollering about my f/o. The good thing about that is that it doesn't have to be coherent you can literally type "LSDKJFLKSDJFLDSK MY F/O HHHHHHHH" and people would like it because you're just screaming that you love them!

I remember Livejournal, I never used it myself but I do remember it. I guess in a way you got to put yourself out there. interact with some people either through tags of something they made and you rbd or like participate in sending asks to people. I am in no means "well known" but I found some people who like to put up with my annoying ass /lh

I don't really talk to people privately either, its all mainly through dash communication and asks/asks games.

I understand that it can be hard and frustrating but there are a multitude of different ways of showing your f/o you love them and just a gentle reminder that you're here for you and your ships and if you find some people a long the way who also support your ships, that's a bonus! <3

I know quite a few who have obscure f/o and while yeah content can be hard to come by, like I said there is a lot you can do from if you wanted to try drawing/writing, moodboard making, playlist creation, pintrest board creation, loveposting (Even if it is keysmashes followed by 100 ilus lol)

I'm sorry if I went on a tangent, if you fell asleep partway through I don't blame you! lol I just wanted to kind of reassure you in a sense that there are ways of loving your f/o and showing that love. You don't NEED to make content of them to prove your love or your ships worth and you're here because you want to share some form of love for them right? You're doing that for you and because you want too! Eventually, the right people will find you.

I've never actively looked for friends on the hellsite, people migrated towards me and now I have a lot of lovely mutuals who I can also call friends. It didn't happen overnight (I've been here since like....2017? a least self shipping, been here longer than that tho) but it will happen.

I just be super unapologetic about this insane amount of love I feel and whenever I feel the need I scream via a text post haha

I'M R A M B L I N G (WRAP IT UP KADEN GAWD!) /j /lh

I'm sorry you're feeling frustrated/upset with your experience on the hellsite and I really do with all my heart anon, hope that it turns around for you <3 Please take care!

#I'm a rambler! : D hhhhh #anonnies;#long post

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ollieofthebeholder · 5 months

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20 Questions for Fic Writers

Thanks @fridayyy-13th for the tag!

How many works do you have on Ao3? 64!

What's your total Ao3 word count? Holy...! Uh, 1,700,611. (I should've guessed, I've got some ultra-long fics on there, but Jesus Christ on a cracker.)

What fandoms do you write for? These days, mostly The Magnus Archives. I've also written for Star Trek (primarily the AOS/Kelvin films), the MCU/Agents of S.H.I.E.L.D., Cut & Run, and RQG. I've got a couple of very, very old Sherlock fics, a couple PJO fics from some ship week challenges I took part in back when the Heroes of Olympus books were still coming out, a couple WTNV fics, a few Star Wars fics that never made it to AO3, and three one-offs.

What are your top five fics by kudos? leaves too high to touch (roots too strong to fall) - 1,758 kudos Had He Known It - 777 kudos Whiskey Lullaby - 395 kudos It Was Just My Imagination Telling Lies - 378 kudos Hurry Up and Slow Me Down - 349 kudos

Do you respond to comments? Every single one! It's half the fun to me.

What is the fic you wrote with the angstiest ending? Ooh...that's a toughie, actually, but I'm going to go with Where the Road Waits to be Taken because it's the only one where the ending focuses on the people left behind.

What's the fic you wrote with the happiest ending? Also a toughie! But I'm going to go with Love Will Find Out the Way.

Do you get hate on fics? Not so much anymore. I've been around long enough that I definitely used to, but I write for saner fandoms now.

.Do you write smut? If so, what kind? Not these days. I'm asexual and, while I'm personally sex-averse, my tolerance for it in fiction kind of goes in cycles. I think the last time I wrote an explicit sex scene was in 2016 or 2017.

.Do you write crossovers? What's the craziest one you've written? Heh...I do, on occasion. Most recently the WTNV/TMA crossover (the full extent of which hasn't been published yet), which isn't that crazy. I think the craziest one I wrote was the Sherlock/Star Trek crossover that was also (sigh) a HP AU...which I have deleted, so sorrynotsorry.

Have you ever had a fic stolen? Not as far as I know, but I don't exactly go looking.

Have you ever had a fic translated? Again, not as far as I know.

Have you ever co-written a fic before? Uh...technically? My brother had an idea for a fic, but he wasn't old enough to join any fanfic websites at the time (we were probably the only two kids who never lied about our age on the internet to join websites), so he dictated it to me, I fleshed it out and posted it under my username.

What's your all time favorite ship? I love so many, but I have to say, the only ship I love that I genuinely can call an OTP in that I cannot fathom them in a relationship with anyone else (even adding anyone else to the equation) is Cecilos. JonMartin is a close second, but, well, I can see (and frequently enjoy) them also having other people in their relationships. Cecil and Carlos? Nuh-uh.

What's a WIP you want to finish but doubt you ever will? Ooh. There are...a couple. But I have a WIP sitting in my Tumblr drafts that was a sequel to Hurry Up and Slow Me Down that I would very much like to finish someday...I just, yeah.

What are your writing strengths? Angst and heartbreak. I've got a gift for descriptions, and I'm really good at conveying emotion in text. And I think I have a knack for putting together a tasty sentence.

What are your writing weaknesses? I do tend to get hung up on irrelevant details, and I frequently think myself into a corner. I also think I tend to obsess sometimes about things being perfect...and if I'm being honest, a big weakness of mine (not just in my writing, but in general) is that I often feel like it's something I need to apologize for, which is not helpful.

Thoughts on writing dialogue in another language in fic? Oh, I love doing that! I try to put a translation in hover text, and also in a footnote for benefit of screen readers, but I also try not to burden the actual text with translations. It's one of those "trust the reader to know what you're trying to say, and if they can't figure it out from context, you have failed as a writer" things to me. (This may have something to do with the fact that I used to write Star Trek fanfic, and conlangs are a thing.)

First fandom you wrote for? If you want to get technical, Power Rangers; I used to tell myself stories about the Power Rangers to put myself to sleep at night when I was a little kid, and once I wrote one down and read it out loud for Show and Tell. (The opening line was "One night, when Kimberly and Trini were sleeping, they were stolen," which should tell you everything you need to know about it. In my defense, I was seven.) I didn't know that's what it was at the time, though. If you're talking fandoms that I wrote for knowing it was a fandom and published on the internet...well, I grew up in the '90s and turned thirteen in the early '00s, so it probably shouldn't be that big of a surprise that it was HP.

Favorite fic you've written? It's like asking me to pick a favorite child. I am deeply in love with to find promise of peace (and the solace of rest) even if the next chapter is currently frustrating me a bit, because I am always deeply in love with my current project, because I love the way it showcases how I've grown as an author. That being said, I think my favorite fic that is currently complete might actually be Tomorrow When the World Is Free.

Tagging (absolutely no pressure) @blasphemous-lies-and-deceit, @amberastra, @magnetarmadda, @astudyinfic, @dyscalculated, and anyone else who wants to give this a go!

#ask games for ts #fic writers asks #ceaseless watcher turn your gaze upon whatever the fuck this is

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obsequence · 1 year

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hi i hope this isn't weird askdjfksdksl, you seem to be much more active on twitter but i REFUSE to make an account on that website BUT a mutual of mine just said something to me about the idea of an au where the rattlers run like. an apocalypse gladiator ring instead and ellie eventually gets caught and stuck there with abby and this is just actually insane we can't believe no one else seems to have had this idea yet??????? my first thought was tell the only ellabs person i know of who is in any way active on social media idk you can tell twitter about this or whatever i just think you need to know. i think ellabs nation (ellabs village really lol) needs to consider the possibilities

1) come to twitter i promise it’s like not that bad i just get into fights a lot 😭

2) i have a new tumblr but it’s under a pseudonym because i’m literally writing x readers and i know people will clown me and think i’m doing it in the “y/n” way (nothing wrong with that) and not the “x readers are a great way to character study without making whole ocs and you’re able to share them with a large audience” way

3) honestly , i really hate fics that have like . anything to do with the rattlers . because they’re just , like , EXTREMELY miserable (hypocritical coming from me , i know) and i deserve a speck of dopamine every now and then . but i will spread the idea ! because tbh it’s pretty good and not done before . just not my thing

4) i’m going to take this as an opportunity to explain why the fuck tl2 isn’t out yet , but it’s going to be a very longwinded self-psychoanalytical bananza , sooo . .

so , tl2 isn’t going to be a multichapter , if it ever gets put out . it’s gonna be a really long oneshot , because if i post it , i want it to be FINISHED so i don’t leave anyone waiting again .

the reason why i have a mental block against writing it right now is because i’m really unhappy about where tl1 left off . i never really liked it honestly , i just felt a bit pressured to get it out asap so i could be done . i reread the first few chapters all the time , and i really consider that its peak , because it started to feel like a chore after chapter six .

it’s hard to write the sequel to something you don’t like . it feels like you can only disappoint (if not others , yourself) and expand on its horribleness , which sounds so melancholy , i know , lol , but it’s the truth . like , how do you fix what’s broken on something you can’t touch ? by adding more that’s broken ? nuh uh . it’s a lot of stress .

also , i just . . need a creative recharge . “spencer , it’s been like five months since you finished tl !!” no i mean like . a year . before i even poke it with a ten foor pole again . LOL it’s that bad . this might change , but that’s how i feel right now .

i’ve been really insecure about my work lately , and i’ve never been able to read original novels or other fics without feeling incredibly envious of others’ talent , and it has sowed a lot of discontent inside of me . so i stopped consuming others’ work for a bit , but that just left me uninspired and in an echo chamber of my own writing without any improvement , so it became hyper-stylized and odd to read , especially months later . i don’t even know what i was trying to accomplish at some points ?? it’s all very odd and tryhard and makes me cringe .

so , right now , my goal is to read more published work lol . i’m reading my childhood favorite “daughter of smoke and bone” right now , and it’s even better than i remember . highly recommend

but yeahhh that’s why tl2 isn’t out sorry 🌸🩷🩷💕🥺🥺🥺

(but like fr i am incredibly sorry)

#asks #my writing #ellabs

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classicragu · 6 months

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I normally stay well away from posting stuff about voting and if I knew better I would continue to stay away from the topic. However, watching people forget the last 8+ years of politics just pisses me off to an extent that I cannot really hold back.

Let me preface this by saying fuck Biden, fuck everyone in the house, fuck everyone in the senate. They are all disgusting and deserve literally no respect whatsoever at this point. I don't believe any of them should be in office anymore and I also believe that the US is effectively a government that has failed its people entirely. I do not support a single elected official in the federal government at this point.

However, and this will piss people off immensely, I will vote. I remember what happened in 2016, I remember the horrors we lived through for 4 years on US soil. I remember people crying while talking to me. I remember us watching as the supreme court was not filled with 1, but 2 far right justices. I remember when the US lost abortion protections. I remember the constant fear of the persecution of various peoples in minority groups.

There is a better of the 2. Both are war criminals. Both are awful human beings. However one of them lets my friends and myself continue to be openly gay and trans. One of them will protect my rights. I will not defend them, that is not the goal of this post. Biden is a disgusting individual who deserves to spend life in prison for assisting in the genocide of the Palestinian people. He is awful, there is no other way to put it. I won't sugar coat it, I hate the man with all of my heart.

I do however, love my friends. I love them a lot. I don't want them to feel the same pain they felt years ago. I don't want us to have to be afraid about federal laws getting passed to take away our rights. I don't want to have to watch as the internal affairs of the country become as bad as its international affairs again. I feel a bit bad and sick for the fact I will vote Biden, but I will. I will vote for a man I viscerally hate purely because I recognize that if i don't, I will potentially have to deal with 4 more years of that shit again.

You can sit on your moral little throne as much as you want and affirm yourself that you didn't vote for a war criminal, but know that you are gambling with the potential lives of your own friends. Rather than repeating the same shit that gets posted every election season sit down and think for a bit about the ramifications of your actions.

It is a moral dilemma and this post isn't saying you should vote but it's saying to think for yourself. Take some time, try to think back over the last 8 years, think about all the times not voting or voting for a 3rd party did something. I'm angry and I assume everyone who follows me is also extremely angry at our current predicament. This post will likely garner severe negative backlash, I've been on this website now for 8 years and know it well. Even so, please, if there is anything i want you to do, just think of the consequences of your inaction. Think of the people you might hurt with your inaction. Think of the people who may not be in as good of a situation as yourself. We are all angry and rightfully so but let's not let that anger cloud our judgement.

Sometimes what may seem like the morally right decision initially can become the morally wrong decision in the long run. Just make sure you really take the time to consider what you are saying and if nothing changes for you, that's fine, at least you took the time to think about it. A lot of the time however, people don't, and that can just lead to more pain.

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donnerpartyofone · 1 year

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One time when I should have been talking about how much my dead mother hated me or something, I stupidly mentioned to my therapist that someone said something annoying on one of my tumblr posts, and she went after me about what did I expect to get out of social media. She wasn't being sarcastic or hostile, she just kept asking me what were my expectations of publicly posting dearly held beliefs and opinions, or personal experiences; she asked me every time she was unsatisfied (it seemed) with my answer, and eventually we just changed the subject. I kept trying to guess if she had a specific right answer in mind; like, was she implying that I was secretly fixing for a fight, or masochistically putting myself in harm's way? Or was she trying to get me to admit that I was desperate for attention and compliments and I was just looking for them in the wrong places? I seemed to have a hard time explaining that I just love to write, that it doesn't bother me if only the same 4-5 people respond in any way, or if no one responds, and that being pestered and annoyed periodically (that is, not very often at all) is a risk I'm willing to take, but I still reserve the right to be annoyed. I'm only human, or something.

I started using tumblr toward the end of the awful abusive relationship that ate up my 20s. The guy was a crazed narcissist whose only motivation in life was impressing other people, or upsetting other people--anything that forced others to think about him and reflect back to him his personal power. He didn't do anything just because he enjoyed it, so it was very hard--actually impossible for me to describe to him the internal satisfaction I got out of writing and accumulating images for free on a free website. He didn't have the wiring necessary to understand that it was part creative process, part introspection, and part getting to know the world in a certain way. He kept asking me, "What do you GET for using tumblr? But what do YOU GET? BUT WHAT DO YOU GET?" while getting redder and angrier until we just had to stop talking about it. I eventually realized he wanted me to say, like, you get corporate sponsors. You get free shit. You get a book deal. You get famous. You get rich, people fuck you. He couldn't imagine any other reason for doing anything and he was as pissed off about the fact that I just enjoyed something, more or less privately, as he was about anything else about me.

The truth is I don't know what my expectations are. I think I know why I write, at least in part: I'm trying to be understood. I have felt misunderstood for most of my life (yes I know boo hoo), and I think that if I just keep refining and refining and refining the way I articulate microscopic experiences, then eventually it will become impossible for me to be misunderstood ever again. I became an art history major in college more or less by accident because I had no direction in life, and while it turned out that I had no particular talent for the discipline of art history (I graduated with a B- thesis that was called "a grand failure"), I learned a lot about how to verbalize extremely interior and abstract experiences, like that of perceiving art and trying to process its meaning. I usually use this for film now, my main love, which is so much about collaging sensory input to achieve a certain psychic effect, and less importantly about literal, literary-type content.

But who do I want to understand me? Very few people read my writing, will ever read it. And I have learned the hard way that you really cannot force anyone to understand you no matter how skilled you become at saying things or maintaining a paper trail; people just don't listen very well, they project, they twist the conversation into something they WANT it to mean instead of what it does mean, or very often people just want to have fights and they will refuse to hear anything that might resolve the exciting conflict they're having with you. I have had incredibly infuriating arguments about the meaning of individual common words that couldn't even be resolved with the help of a dictionary or sample sentences. Being a good writer or speaker (or listener, even) does not protect you from this.

I think that to a large degree I am trying to make myself understood to myself. I have always been very, very good at internalizing the voices of others, and this can make me doubt the content and quality of my own experiences. Against the influence of people who have disbelieved or ignored me, or tried to get me to believe things I know to be untrue, I write and write and write to submit my findings to an invisible judge and jury. They are all me. It may sound as if I am trying to prove what I believe is David Cronenberg's point about identifying with the body, or trying to debunk what I think Catherine Breillat is saying about human emotion, but secretly I am trying to prove to myself, through these incidental demonstrations of skill and rationale, that I do deserve to feel the way that I feel about the things of which I can no longer speak.

#long post

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zalrb · 1 year

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OTH 3X05 Rewatch Review

OTH won.

1. I keep forgetting OTH is on Prime

2. IIIIIIIIIIII DON’T WANNA BE ANYTHING OTHER THAN WHAT I’VE BEEN TRYNA BE LATELYYYYYYYYYYY

3. One Tree Hill wants Tree Hill to be a basketball town so badly and doesn’t put in any of the effort.

4. I like how stiff these cheerleaders actually are.

5. “You’re breaking her heart you know that?” I’m sorry, he nearly died and she DIDN’T COME HOME.

6. Lucas, SHUT UP. You were the one who cheated on your girlfriend with her best friend and then dated that girlfriend’s neighbour broke up with said neighbour and went next to that girlfriend’s house RIGHT AFTER BREAKING UP WITH HER NEIGHBOUR

7. Right, I forgot they thought he kissed Haley. I mean, still though.

8. The fight between Nathan and Lucas escalates to an unbelievable point, it would not cause a brawl between the team, that’s dumb.

9. Peyton, if you hate being a cheerleader, stop being a fucking cheerleader, jesus christ.

10. OH MY GOD, A WOMAN WITH ARMPIT HAIR? BURN HER AT THE STAKE.

11. Every time I see Rachel, I think about how me and my friend shipped Jensen with Sophia, I don’t even know HOW that came about but we were like Chad is disgusting and Sophia and Jensen should totally date and get married and Chad can choke and die then we found out Jensen was with Danneel and we were like ....................

12. Chris’ album name is “Keller Instinct”? Ugh.

13. I like how Chris is supposed to be a hot shot musician but also has nothing better to do than hang around Haley and Chris, that’s weird dude.

14. It’s funny I rewatch Veep a lot and this character Jonah who is terrible is about to be offered like hundreds of million of dollars for his website and Selina the protagonist is like:

and every time one of the characters is like “Dan’s running for mayor?? It’s like...” I think of this scene.

15. This shit is SO unsanitary.

16. Dan, you’re running your own campaign.

17. I am posting this without comment and tagging @initiumseries

18. I totally forgot about Gigi.

19. The casting as Ellie as Peyton’s birth mom was a good choice though.

20. Oh God, is Peyton going to see Ellie’s picture of her and be like YoU LiEd To mE!!!! It is this scene right.

21.

22. (it is).

23.

24. At least she isn’t crying this time.

25.

OH MY GOD, PEYTON, GET A FUCKING GRIP

26. I am so done with these scenes, can we move on.

27. Ha.

28. What is this dialogue? What does it even mean?

29. I like how she puts this on Nathan like she didn’t kiss him and insist on working with him and didn’t ask Nathan to come with her on tour

Once again I am reminded of how I like Naley together but build up Naley not so much.

30. “If you work with Chris and end up having feelings for him again, then I guess I have my answer.” “That’s ridiculous, Nathan, that’s not fair!” I mean, how though? You didn’t even say you didn’t have feelings for him, Haley. THIS IS HIS POINT.

31. I like how when Dan actually is mayor it’s not really a catastrophe, unless I’m misremembering.

32. At least Peyton tackles Rachel when she punches Brooke.

33. Like these fights don’t make sense because it’d be an entire team and an entire squad trying to pull apart TWO people of their OWN team/squad.

34. You were slut shaming Brooke like 2 seconds ago, Rachel

35. At least he looks uncomfortable here, with Brooke he looks bewildered and then into it by the very end.

36. This always bothered me because it DOESN’T. MAKE. SENSE. Is it last year or two years ago?

37.

38. I always found it HILARIOUS that Brooke slaps Rachel and Lucas just watches like damn, Brooke. Doesn’t even go to see if Rachel’s OK.

39. “You know that thing about judging a book by its cover? Well it’s true. Sometimes you gotta read the whole thing” this is the clumsiest shit ever, STOP TALKING.

40. Nathan, why are you lurking by a tree?

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nokingsonlyfooles · 1 year

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Hello, and Welcome to the Frog's Blog!

(Pinned Intro Post!)

I am here to do capitalism!

I hate capitalism.

Wanna give me a few paragraphs to explain why I'm doing it anyway?

I'm telling a story that I want people to see. Being generally a good person and asking nicely for people to tell others about me has not gotten a lot of eyes on my story. I need not only currency, to buy space to be seen and items directing people to look at me, I need social capital. Social capital is way older than currency, but it's still not my thing. This society was not built for me, and I'm missing a lot of the usual equipment for navigating it - we can put all kinds of labels on my neuro-spice blend, but the bottom line is, I'm out here at the edges, and it's gonna take a lot of effort for me to swim my amphibian butt anywhere near the mainstream. I gotta hope some of you will see me struggling and give me a little assist with a net, if you can.

And not scoop me out and throw me away.

I'm gonna put myself out here and do my own version of the Leftist Boogie, but I will probably elbow more than one person in the face and take a few pratfalls of my own. All of it in the hope that you'll see something in my style worth watching, and then go look at the other, longer, and much-better-proofread things I've done. (I got a lot going on and I often don't see typos, spelling errors and missing words. It's not because I don't care!)

My story is available right now and free to read without blinking ads that'll steal your data and assault your senses. I don't want that to change. So:

I need your eyeballs. It's super hard for me to keep performing when most people just walk on by, give me a little wave, or detour just long enough to spit in my open violin case. I need your money. (Oh, god.) My health issues can keep - and have kept - me from telling my story. I got a real wake-up call in 2022. If I can't offer someone fair compensation to help me, I will have to stop telling my story, and I don't know if I'll be able to come back and start telling it again. (My finances are weird because I moved to Canada as a +1 on my partner's work/study visa and I'm not, technically, allowed to work here. But the Patreon is hooked up to my US account - the only account with my name on it right now - and it still works.) I need your help. I can't give you a lot of money right now (in part because my account has a finite amount in it, that I am also using to buy groceries and home goods, and when it's gone, I no longer have any money or credit in my own name) but "fair compensation" doesn't have to mean money, from me or from you. I am more than willing to give away free content. I hope you're willing to give away free reblogs and signal boosts and eyeballs. Everything else is negotiable, and I do have a little money, so contact me here, or through my website, or just use that little "ask me anything" widget, if you have any ideas. I need your patience. I will cough up an occasional bright yellow Blazed ad, or other self-promotion, and I will keep reminding you that I'm telling a story and I need your help. My health is not in real great shape either. I may disappear, on this platform or others, because I'm dealing with a lot and I don't have enough left to create or be social. I hope not to disappear altogether, but there are no guarantees. I'm not trying to scam you, but you need to be aware that you're backing one fragile human being who may have to quit. Also, I make a lot of really stupid mistakes. Social interaction goes too fast for me. I can't always check myself before I wreck myself - or someone else who doesn't deserve it. Please believe I'm trying my best, and I'll try to believe that of you too. OK? I'm in the process of codifying the reasons why I'm trying to tell a story and I will not shut up. So you'll also see a lot of Big World stuff about art, storytelling, artists and storytellers around here. Eventually, you'll also see my art manifesto, but I'm juggling a lot of things I need to get done. You'll have to stay patient and let me do my best.

#author bio #intro post #i have a keyboard and i'm dangerous #free story #queer media #NB with a story #singing frog #no kings only fooles

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the-vault-apprentice · 2 years

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Tags from @sky-sogira

*cracks knuckles*

Alright. Let's get into this. My faith may not be as strong as it once was, but my knowledge is unshakable.

Disclaimer: I am not a scholar, I am not a theologist, I am a member of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-Day Saints and I LOVE Sky.

Second disclaimer: I am not trying to preach to anyone, just put in my perspective as someone who grew up in Christianity.

So! The easy one. Lucifer was actually NOT really the devil's name first- Lucifer was the name of a minor Roman god. The god of the morning star, which shines very brightly. The name "Lucifer" MEANS "Bringer of light" and is the base for the names of the chemicals that make fireflies glow- Lucifern and Lucifrase? I probably spelled them wrong. When the Bible was being standardized, they took this name to show that Satan had once been both powerful and beloved, at least.... That's how my father told it. He was wrong about a LOT of things, so take that with a grain of salt. What IS certain fact is that Lucifer means "bringer of light" and WAS a Roman god of the morning star. This I am sure of.

Sky takes design elements from MANY sources, but the story is undoubtedly biblical. And that really shouldn't be a surprise, given that the bible is really freaking old and has quite a lot of stuff in it! Like.... A LOT of stuff and some of it doesn't make any sense at all. I mean, there was a law about if a thief got away before the sunrise, it was their stuff now or something? It's been a while since I read those particular verses, forgive my casualness but it's 7 am and I'm doing this off the top of my head while getting ready for the day.

Okay. Take a breath. You still with me? Good. Because I'm about to basically speedrun not only the bible, but my church's scripture as well- The Book of Morm-n.

I am censoring it because I have the name blacklisted after seeing so much hate and ignorance and straight-up MALICE on this website, so if you reblog this, PLEASE don't actually spell it out or I will not be able to view the post. Thank you.

So God (by whatever name you'd like) has his "chosen people". He helps and strengthens them and shows them miracles, yes? And as long as they listen to Him, they are blessed. Seems like a good deal to ME, but you know how it is with humans. Give them too much success and they get cocky. Turn their backs on God and start giving THEMSELVES the credit- Which.... Doesn't sit too well. Consequently, they lose His favor and his help until they humble themselves and realize it WAS thanks to Him they were able to get this far. Rinse and repeat for a few thousand years or so.

Basically, God is HAPPY to help out as long as you don't forget He IS helping. But humans are forgetful and they eventually fall away and need to learn they need His help. We call it the Pride Cycle in my church, and it IS a cycle. You see it over and over again.

Now, if we draw parallels and look at Megabird as "God" and perhaps Resh as "Satan", more things click.

Whatever happened in Eden was BIG. Like major ultimate, plain apocalyptic. And now the cycle of the spirits returning to Megabird can't continue because SOMEBODY had to mess it up with something more powerful than simple indifference. This wasn't just the ancestors turning their backs on Megabird, this was them PHYSICALLY UNABLE to return to the light because of the darkness.

And that's why Skykids were created. To do what they no longer could.

Now, then, if- As I believe- Resh is the king and Alef is the prince and they are not the same, then it also seems likely that Alef was the FIRST Skykid. Like an olive branch from Megabird- "I want you to come back. Please don't go further. There IS a way back, and I will give it to you."

To continue the comparison, it would be appropriate to compare Alef to Christ in this sense- The sense of being "firstborn", of being a PRINCE rather than a king.

And all the other Skykids ALSO fit this comparison because of the fact we lose our light and life so the spirits can go home.

But UNLIKE what is taught in Christianity, it is not a PERMANENT saving, evidenced by the fact that the spirits- and the Skykids- RETURN to the world. It is also possible that Alef was sent BEFORE the fall of Eden as a warning almost- Telling Resh all was not yet lost and he could STOP and be forgiven still.

But Satan's crime was pride and I believe it is the same with Resh. They want the power and the glory and the credit that rightly belongs to another- The being which MADE them. So of course he would not have stopped.

Of course, the Ark, Eden's name... There are other parallels to be made, and this is all just speculation from me based on what I think.

#sky: children of the light #that sky game #sky: cotl #holy ship that was long #uhhhhh #tw: christianity #I swear I am not preaching merely informing

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alcorian · 2 years

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can people with dyscalculia help? im 18, autistic, and trying to figure out if i have it. it would be really nice if some people who know they have it could read this and give their opinion on whether i should try to get evaluated.

i’ve always hated math and struggled with it, and yet i was in advanced classes in middle school..... which i HATED. then, in high school, i got mistakenly put in the intermediate class for kids who struggle with math, and saw...... little to no change in how challenging it was. i did get bored with how slowly we were introduced to concepts, but my ability to complete the homework in a timely manner never improved. and i tend to do math slower than my peers--i even requested a time extension on my ACT because i finished all the other sections with great scores every time, but could only get like halfway through the math section at best. the one time i remember finishing a test first in class, i was proud but surprised. but looking back i think that test had a lot of questions about the concepts we were being taught rather than arithmetic, which also surprised me because in my experience math tests are mostly solving problems, not answering questions about math concepts. there have also been times that i’ve finished my classwork before anyone else, but also looking back this usually happened because i was working while the teacher was talking instead of taking notes. (my thoughts are very very fast and unfortunately my teacher does not talk as fast as my thoughts, so in pretty much all my classes, i just end up working ahead while listening to the lecture so i can pay attention and not get distracted)

i understand the abstract concepts behind math just fine, and even like them, but i kind of struggle with it at the same time. i do things like addition slowly and multiple times to make sure i got it right, sometimes counting on my fingers. i cannot memorize my times tables, ive completely given up on that. i still count on my fingers at 18, which i didnt realize wasnt normal because im completely unobservant. i hate mental math and calculators are my saving grace. i dont trust myself to do mental math correctly. i struggle to hold numbers in my head, especially long strings like phone numbers or addresses, which is part of what makes mental math so hard for me (and thats why i use my fingers or write it down). i forget things like phone numbers instantly. im not very good at reading analog clocks, but that might be because we’re moving more towards digital clocks everywhere. i also heard that dyscalculia can be associated with difficulty telling right from left, and thats a really embarrassing thing ive always struggled with--i need to hold up my hands to remember (left hand makes an L) and if i cant do that i have to imagine writing something and hope im imagining the correct hand doing the writing, lol.

but despite all this-- i feel like maybe i dont have it. maybe im just looking for an excuse to explain why i suck so much at math. theres also the possibility that im just overly anxious about getting a wrong answer and thats why i do everything so slowly and count on my fingers and stuff--so i can be sure im not getting it wrong. i do understand how numbers correlate to amounts, and its not like im totally incapable of mental math. i can do it, i just struggle with it, especially if i have to hold a number in my head for any reason. like, while writing this post i went and did basic multiplication problems in my head (from a website) and got hung up on 7 x 6. and then i got it wrong. this is the part where i’d normally make excuses like “oh im tired, oh its the end of summer so i havent practiced,” but honestly, im pretty sure most people my age should be able to do simple multiplication like that no matter the time of year. so. i dunno. also, i was able to get the other problems correct, but im pretty sure i was taking longer to do them than an 18 year old should. and i was counting on my fingers again.

and like. i think i like math in theory. algebra looks logical and satisfying, and it IS, except when i have to actually divide, add, and subtract, then i can practically feel my brain beginning to overheat like an overworked computer.

moving things from one side to the other to isolate a variable? yes. good shit.

havint to do subtraction to get there? now its not so fun. i think this is the part that actually gives me a headache. i never really thought about which part of algebra was frustrating me, but now that i know dyscalculia is a thing, im starting to think about the arithmetic vs the abstract concept behind it.

anyways, if i have dyscalculia its probably more mild seeing as i can still do mental math and i can still do arithmetic, its just unreasonably hard for me for no discernable reason.

#dyscalculia #autism #learning disability #alv posts

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hologramcowboy · 2 years

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Late Night with Seth Meyers Review

Outfit: 😕/10

The Marcus special- poor tailoring, earth tones, and an outfit that should be cohesive but there’s something off about it that I just can’t quite put my finger on. I get that he’s Danneel’s friend, but maybe Jensen should go back to dressing himself and let Marcus use Danneel and the cast of The Winchesters as his mannequins/victims.

I love Seth Meyers, he’s a fantastic talk show host and an extremely witty, charming man. When I saw that Jensen was going to be on his show, I knew that if he couldn’t make Jensen look good in an interview then there’s just no hope for Jensen when it comes to press.

Seth did a fantastic job, this is the best interview Jensen has ever done. He was still nervous, but Seth is so engaging and charming that Jensen really shined and instead of sitting there giving the same three answers he was laughing and giving fun little anecdotes. I like that Seth talked about all of his career from the soap opera days to animated films because people (AAs) act like those are jobs to be ashamed of and they’re not! I also liked that he wasn’t trying to sell Danneel as the perfect wife/partner the way he has been in written interviews recently. No one wants to hear about your washed up wife Jensen, most people don’t even know she exists. A fantastic, Jensen centric interview about his work. There were some butthurt AAs in the comments complaining that he wasn’t getting enough applause, but we all know that those people don’t actually like Jensen and will never be pleased with anything he does. If you watch any of his three interviews, just watch this one and skip Live with Kelly & Ryan and Good Morning America.

I hated his outfit completely, those colors are awful on him and wash him out, wrong tones completely and that shirt aged him. Those awful shoes made an appearance again. Sorry, I have a problem with those, clearly. lol Marcus is not my type of stylist at all. He has no idea how to dress Jensen in a way that flatters his type of beauty and uniqueness. So instead of rating Jensen's outfit, I'll rate Marcus' on this one since he's the one who chose it: 0. One thing to note is Jensen told the story about the costume yet again, he's very repetitive, I also found his Kripke mention to be somewhat of a self pat on the back and the audience didn't even react as a result. You're right in acknowledging he felt more at ease and was able to express himself more which is always beautiful to see, like you noted, that's easy when the host is so fantastic. I too appreciate Seth and I also appreciate your posts, highly entertaining and high quality. I love how this post ultimately also reads as a commercial for Late Night with Seth Meyers. You surely already know this but I feel I should point out you have great talent when it comes to communication and writing so my guess is you either work in the entertainment business OR your job involves a lot of communication. Whichever it is, I hope you keep expressing yourself through writing and I also selfishly hope you send me the link to your blog or website if you have one.

Reference: X

Part I of III: X, Part II of III: X

#jensen review

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