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Oh For a Muse of Fire! Part 7

I love writing this story so much I am constantly going back and rereading my favorite parts. And when I write really, really good bits I want to put it up immediately so you all can squee with me. But I also know that it’s better to give each part some time between each one so the chapter can get the love it deserves. It’s ongoing battle I tell you.

This is the start of what I’ve been calling in my head the dark chapters. This is where we get to the tragic backstories that drove these two boys apart. TW: for panic attack in this and brief mention violence.

Part 1 Part 2 Part 3 Part 4 Part 5 Part 6

*

Chrissy came over to where the boys had sat down with Wayne after they had put their equipment away. She slid the beers over to each of them with practiced ease.

“So...” she began. “You’ve got history with my boy, Garnet.”

“Who the fuck is Garnet?” Jeff asked.

Chrissy giggled. “My boss is weird hipster who has all off of us go by gem names to keep up the mystic of the place. Jewels of the Queen’s Crown as it were.”

Gareth laughed. “And what do they call you?”

“I’m Opal for now,” she explained after taking a swig of her beer. “But Garnet says that before he leaves, I’ll probably be Sapphire or Emerald.” She thought for a moment. “Considering Diamond’s sense of humor? Probably Sapphire.”

“Why Sapphire?” Eddie asked, frowning in confusion.

Chrissy laughed. “Because I’m a lesbian?” The boys just stared at her with blank faces. “Sappho is the first lesbian? Another word for lesbian is sapphic? Sapphire, sapphic?”

Suddenly they got it and started nodded.

She turned to Eddie. “Don’t think I didn’t notice you avoiding the question. You and I are going to have nice long talk about it later.”

Eddie straightened up and looked guiltily at his beer. “We just aren’t in the same universe is all.”

Chrissy looked over at Garnet and sighed. “I think you guys are closer than you think.”

“What’s that supposed to mean?” Eddie growled. “In what multi-verse are me and that man even in the same hemisphere?”

Chrissy sighed. “I’m not one for spreading rumors around but from what I’ve heard, Garnet’s dad threw him out when he came out as gay.”

All four boys turned to look at Steve slinging cocktails like he was born to it in shock.

“He’s gay?” Jeff asked. “There’s no way. He was a known ladies’ man in high school. Him and his girlfriend were like the king and queen of Hawkins.”

Chrissy just hummed. “Trust me when I say that I’ve been working with him for almost two months now, and the dude ain’t straight. He never flirts with the girls. Like ever. And yeah, sure some of it can be marked down to Garnet being a consummate professional. But when guys flirt with him, he gets all flustered and turns pink.”

Eddie sat back. “Huh.” He shrugged off the gnawing feeling in the back of his mind of what it would have been like if Eddie had known that sooner. “Still, I wouldn’t have thought that pretty, rich boy Garnet would deign to work at a bar, even one as upscale as this one.”

“What the fuck you talking about, boy?” Wayne growled, speaking up for the first time. “I didn’t teach you that classist bullshit.”

Eddie ducked his head. “Sorry, Uncle Wayne.”

Wayne jutted his chin Steve’s direction. “I know you’ve been calling him something different because of the rules of the club or whatever, but if you lot are talking about that boy at the bar, then you need to check your bias. He worked at the plant for a year on the weekends trying to save money for college.”

Everyone turned to Wayne in shock.

“He worked at the plant?” Gareth said. “But I thought he was earning money babysitting. He used to babysit my sister Clara after school when I had to work or had band practice.”

Jeff shook his head. “Nah, man. He was working at Family Video that year. My mom would gush about how sweet and helpful he was when she was trying to find a good family movie.”

Wayne took a sip of his beer. “That boy did all three at the same time. He told me he’d work the video store during the time the kids would be at school and then babysit after. Then he’d work weekends at night at the plant.” He glared at Eddie. “Did such a good job, Ken wanted him to take over as foreman of the night shift when he retired.”

Eddie looked over at Steve and furrowed his brow. “Sorry, Uncle Wayne,” he repeated with more conviction.

Wayne nodded and the topic changed to what songs they should preform next time and in what order.

Sometimes Eddie would catch himself looking over at Steve in a new light.

*

Steve was having a bad week. There was no getting around it. He was trying to get to class, but the beemer wouldn’t start.

It ground and ground, but wouldn’t start.

“Fuck!”

He pounded on the steering wheel. He was going to have to take the bus, which meant he was going to be late.

He threw open his door and popped the hood. Maybe he figure it out. He checked the oil and the other fluids, but they were all at least decent levels. He check for any loose cables but everything seemed to be connected.

Steve was about to slam the hood back down when someone stopped him.

“What seems to be the trouble, Harrington?” Eddie asked, hand on the hood preventing its closure.

Steve sighed. “No fucking clue. And I’m going to be late for class. And since the midterm is due today, if I’m late, I’m fucked.”

Eddie hummed. “I’ll call someone to come get the car and I’ll drive you in.”

Steve stared at him wide-eyed and slack-jawed. “Why? You don’t like me.”

Eddie cocked his head to the side. “No, I don’t. However, I’m not going to let someone like you mess things up for Joyce.”

Steve wanted to protest and scream but he knew that’s what Eddie expected him to do. So he just shrugged. “Whatever, man. Just get me the number for this auto shop of yours and we’ll consider the transaction complete.”

Eddie slammed the hood down and Steve went to pull the keys out of the ignition. He kept the windows rolled up, but the door unlocked. He placed the keys under the visor and then grabbed his bag.

“The tow truck will be here in five minutes,” Eddie said, putting his phone back into his pocket, “so it shouldn’t be too long.”

Steve sighed heavily and followed Eddie to his van.

Once they were on their way Steve turned to him. “What did you mean that I might mess things up for Joyce?”

Eddie looked at him briefly before turning back to the road. “I thought you knew her.”

Steve sighed again. “Yeah, four years ago. Which is what I tried to tell Dean Ortega. Yes, I used to babysit her youngest son. Yes, I did that for a year. No, I haven’t spoken to her in the last four. Been kinda busy, you know, going to school.”

Eddie hummed. “There’s been so much trouble with the course the college is thinking of dropping it. And if that happens...”

Steve threw his head back against the headrest. “Then she’s out a job. Great. I was there for those two major fuck ups. I don’t know what happened with the last teacher, but the first professor was a real piece of work.”

Eddie licked his lips thoughtfully. “According to Joyce, Professor Martin was found sleeping with the live model.”

Steve blinked. “The basketball captain?” he asked, his voice squeaking in shock and outrage. “Holy fuck!”

“Yeah,” Eddie agreed. “Joyce said that she was surprised that they even gave the class one more chance.”

Steve nodded. “Yeah, I guess. Jesus Christ.”

They got to class and Joyce looked at them with a big grin on her face. “Oh, I didn’t know you guys were friends!”

Eddie and Steve shared a glance.

“Oh we’re not,” Eddie said and Steve winced.

“We just live in the same apartment complex and Eddie came to my rescue when my car wouldn’t start this morning,” Steve explained.

Joyce smiled fondly. “That was sweet of you, Eddie dear.”

Eddie blushed and turned his head. “I was just being a good Samaritan.”

“Well, thank you,” she murmured.

Steve nodded. “Yeah, thanks Eds.”

Eddie bit his lip at the new nickname. “You’re welcome.”

Steve grinned and went to sit down.

Eddie blushed and got into position, striping down to his underwear. He kept his eye on Steve like he always did. But today, instead of the count of one, two, three and look away, Steve’s gaze lingered, drawing in shorter spurts and longer looks at his body.

He didn’t know how he felt about that, or rather his brain didn’t. His heart and libido were one hundred percent onboard with the heated regard. His brain told them to shut up.

*

It was an unseasonably warm day for March. The sun was finally starting to do more then hang in the sky and look pretty. Robin and Steve were on their way back to their apartment after a rare Sunday meeting at the bar. They were dressed for work. Robin all in black and Steve in his white button up.

They were a block and half from their place, having had to take the bus with Steve’s car still in the shop, when suddenly a storm rolled in and opened up above them.

Instantly they were drenched to the skin. Robin broke into a run to try to get to their apartment faster, but soon realized that Steve wasn’t with her. She looked back to see that Steve had sunk to his knees, his arms wrapped around his shoulders. As if he was trying to cover his back.

“Shit!” Robin hissed and ran back to his side. “Steve? Come on, Steve. We’re almost home.”

He shook his head and began to rock back and forth. “They’ll see! They’ll see.”

“Steve, there’s no one around,” she reasoned. “I’ll even walk behind you if that will make you feel better. But we can’t just sit out here in the rain, dingus.”

But try as she might, she knew it was futile. Steve was firmly locked inside his head and she didn’t know how to get him out. Even after years of seeing him like this, she hadn’t found a tried and true way to make him come out, except to wait them out and hope it didn’t take too long.

She sat on the cold wet pavement and settled down to wait out this nightmare.

Just then a van slowed down beside them and Eddie called out, “Hey, Buckley, everything okay?”

She looked down at Steve and then back at Eddie. She had a choice to make and it wasn’t an easy one.

“No,” she said, forcing out the best response for Steve in that moment. They needed help and if Eddie was willing, she’d be a fool to turn him away.

The van came to screeching halt and Eddie was out onto the pavement in an instant.

“What happened?” he asked, not sure if he should get close in case it was seizure again.

“It started to rain and his scars started to show through the white fabric,” Robin explained.

Eddie walked around to Steve’s back and cursed. “What the fuck?!”

Robin frowned. “How the hell do you not know about Steve’s scars? Like literally everyone in the whole god damn country knows how he got them.”

Eddie’s head reared back. “Um...not me. When did it happen?”

Robin stared at him aghast. “What do you mean when did it happen? It was literally a nine day wonder on all news outlets.” When Eddie just continued to stare at her as if she was mad, she said. “His senior year of high school? He was gone for like a week, how did you not notice?”

Eddie pursed his lips. “Probably the same reason you never noticed I was gone for that same fucking time period.”

She looked down at Steve who was still rocking back and forth. “Steve, hey can you hear me?”

Steve just continued to be lost in his own world.

Eddie took a step closer to see if he could help but Robin held her hand up. “Stay back! When he gets like this his fight or flight response is heightened and he’s been known to pack one hell of a punch.”

Eddie blinked rapidly. “Come again?” His hand came up to his jaw instinctively.

Robin rubbed circles along Steve’s back trying to get his to calm down. “There was once he had a panic attack in public and this guy came up and tried to help him, thinking he’d fallen or something,” she explained. “Steve lashed out not knowing what was happening. He said he woke up with a vague memory of the hit and bruised knuckles. Of course by then, the guy had booked it.”

Eddie took a step back. “That...that was me.”

Robin’s head shot up. “Oh fuck.” She looked back down at Steve. “You thought he hit you because you tried to help him.”

Eddie snarled, “He dislocated my jaw. I couldn’t sing for six months.”

Robin was on her feet in an instant. “Shit, shit, shit. He doesn’t know what he’s doing when he’s like this. That incident haunts him.”

Eddie took another step back. “It haunts me too.” He yanked off his jacket and threw it at her. “For his modesty. He can return it at the next class.”

He turned on his heel and ran to his van. He peeled away from the curb, like the hounds of hell were on his tail.

Robin stood there watching Eddie go, her tears blending with the rain. She didn’t even bother to wipe her face. She walked back to Steve and put the jacket around his shoulders.

The combination of the warmth of the jacket and the covering of Steve’s scars, he slowly came out of his panic attack.

She helped him to his feet and the made it the rest of the way to their apartment. She let him have the first shower and put him to bed.

They were going to have to have a long talk when he was sane enough to handle it.

Part 8 Part 9  Part 10  Part 11  Part 12 Part 13  Part 14  Part 15  Part 16  Part 17  Epilogue

Tag List: @artiststarme @allbymyselfexceptformycactus @spectrum-spectre @estrellami-1 @swimmingbirdrunningrock @gregre369 @itsall-taken @m-owo-n @zerokrox-blog @runyousillydetective @grimmfitzz @wonderland-girl143-blog @sapphirecobalt-1 @scheodingers-muppet @victor-thee-corvid @apricottree @bookbinderbitch @sleepyboosstuff @biatcgh @pixiefallingupthestairs @grtwdsmwhr @thepainisspicy @carlyv @eboyawstenn @bisexualdisastersworld @bidisastersworld @abstractnaturaldisaster @evix-syne666 @nerdsconquerall @lololol-1234 @goodolefashionedloverboi @chaoticlovingdreamer @a-little-unsteddie @val-from-lawrence @i-must-potato @elluminis @tailsfromthecrypt @danili666 @plyerice27 @alittlegreyfish  @n0-1-important @no-upper-limit-to-stupidity @maya-custodios-dionach @cinnamon-mushroomabomination @heaven428

I did manage to prevent myself from taking notes on episode nine, but I think I do have to scream incoherently about it for a while. (I literally screamed out loud at the end and scared the real Gillian the cat.)

I just love this show so much! It keeps taking things in unexpected directions and surprising me but it always works. I remember watching the trailer a few months ago, back when I was very new to BL, and thinking, that looks fun and pulpy and silly - a brainless prep school melodrama. But how wrong I was - this show is so far from brainless. And while there is drama, and even arguably melodrama, I would say the prevailing mood has turned out to be tenderness.

I love Akk and Ayan and their relationship so much. And First and Khaotung are portraying them so well. I can feel all the love and tenderness and fear and lust and all the complicated emotions they have about each other. And the way they see each other and understand each other. Sometimes I don't really understand why characters fall in love with each other, but with these two I fully buy it. They are so similar, taking the world onto their own shoulders, and they see that in each other. (Besides of course the intense sexual attraction.)

That scene in the pool! The flirting and the smiles! That underwater kiss - it was very ITSAY, so much that I feel like it was an intentional influence. They're in this kind of slowly shifting holding pattern - their love acknowledged but also not - and it somehow feels very realistic.

The dinner scene with the mom. I loved her support for Ayan's crush. And then in her request to Akk to take care of Ayan - I understand why of course, but I also wanted to yell, Akk doesn't need any more demands on him! He's already under too much pressure from too many sides!

Oh and the scene with Kan and Ayan! That's one of the moments I meant by unexpected directions - I never would have thought of them as allies in romance, but of course they are. And just Kan an Thua in general. I love this meandering path they're taking toward each other, the small steps of courage. I love how they're able to find the bravery to be a certain kind of honest with each other behind the cover of "Bruce Wayne."

Nong, Nun and Nian, I love you and your courage so much. And they're winning people over! I love seeing the trickle of students supporting them growing larger and larger.

Namo is still mysterious to me. As is Sani in many respects. And hooray for Wat and his filmmaking project.

I also have thoughts about the school politics and the political metaphor, and also the plot, but those require thinking and analysis and not just squee-ing.

Some thoughts on the principal and the casting choice of a darker skinned woman to represent the highest authority in the school full of boys. (Colorism like this is not just an issue in The Eclipse, but it feels more jarring in a show as socially aware as this one.) And how she is still subject to the demands of the school board - representing the capitalists and business owners really in control of nations? And it seems like she may become more of a character in her own right rather than just a shady figure of authority. Her whole threat/reminder to Chadok - what is their history?

If you’re still taking prompts, I had a thought. What if JayTim get de-aged? I saw you did a similar one already so no worries if you don’t want to 😊. My thoughts for this were that they both get de-aged to like 5/6 years old and Jason gets super protective of Tim (cause he’s so tiny and cute), and they get to cause chaos in the cave but also get lots of snuggles with the fam before retiring to their correct ages.

Hi, sorry for the delay! Thank you for the cute prompt. This ended up being gen, not JayTim. Btw, in case you’re wondering what’s happening with your last remaining one (”keep you warm”): That one took a life of it’s own and is growing beyond a drabble. It’ll take me a while to finish, but yeah, it’s gonna be a fic, not a drabble. 

Dick would like to say this isn’t what he expected when he was called into Wayne Manor to babysit his brothers. He would.

Honestly, though, finding two of his brothers de-aged back to being kindergarteners doesn’t even make the top-twenty list of ‘Weirdest things to happen on a Tuesday.’ So he takes it in stride when Bruce basically dumps the two on him (“I need to go find a cure. I can’t do that if they’re playing cowboy and dinosaur under my feet.”) and settles down on the living room floor to have a tea party. Alfred even joins them.

It’s fun.

Tim is so shy. It’s hard to connect this quiet kid with the teenager Dick first met all those years ago. With Jason, though, he gives as good as he gets, poking him in the side and telling him to sit straight and not spill any tea.

Jason, to Dick’s surprise, goes with it. He tells Tim facts about the books he’s starting to read; Tim tells Jason about the beeest superheroes, and it’s some of the most wholesome nerdy shit Dick has ever witnessed.

“I need to pee,” Jason eventually announces, hopping to his feet.

“Want me to come with you?” Dick isn’t really sure until what age kids need help with that sorta thing. And Jason is so small… but the kid scowls at him. “No! Weirdo.”

As his brother leaves the room, Dick thinks there’s something in his hand… cookies, maybe? He shrugs it off.

Alfred has a weird expression on his face when Dick turns back to him, though. Most people wouldn’t notice, but Dick knows his grandfather. “What’s troubling you, Alfred?”

“It’s nothing.” Alfred pauses. “I have found food hidden in several places, but I’m sure there is a rational explanation.”

“Oh, you weren’t supposed to find those!” Tim scowls.

They look at him. “Are they yours, then?” Dick asks gently.

“Jay said it’s really important that we have them. Just in case…” Tim trails off, uncertainty taking over his expression. “Was that wrong?”

“No!” Dick hastily assures him. Alfred adds: “I merely thought that I would provide you with more appropriate storage boxes.”

But Tim’s face scrunches up. “I didn’t mean to—“

“Hey!” Jason races back in through the door. He’s by Tim’s side faster than Dick can blink. “What happened?”

Tim hiccups, clearly trying not to cry. “I—I’m sorry—“

“It’s okay,” Jason says, glaring at Dick over his shoulder. Is this what Damian would’ve been like at that age? Cause Dick has a hard time imagining eyes any more lethal. “Wanna play some more hide-and-seek?”

Tim nods, but his gaze darts toward Dick for approval.

Dick sighs and figures that they can’t really get themselves into much trouble doing that. Alfred can keep an eye on them through the cameras, just in case. “Sure, have fun!”

“You’re not invited,” Jason tells him. And then they’re off, giggling, tension from two minutes ago forgotten.

“I’m Robin!” Dick hears Tim call, followed by “Then I’m Batman” in what is probably supposed to be an imitation of Bruce’s voice, except Jason is what, six(?), and his vocal cords very much do not go there.

Dick carries their tea party equipment into the kitchen and then settles down on the couch, keeping an ear out for the two miscreants while he reads. It’s pretty peaceful, and he can feel his sleep deficit catching up with him, eyes getting heavier and heavier.

Something pokes his side.

Dick pries his eyes open and sees Jason staring at him, unimpressed. “Tim needs more cuddles,” he declares.

Dick tries not to smile. “Does he?”

Jason nods, very seriously. “He likes them, and he does not get enough. I need to make sure he gets cuddles when I’m not here.”

Dick tries not to squee at the idea of Jason basically anointing himself as Tim’s Cuddler-in-Chief. “Well, I’m always down.”

For a moment, he’s examined by blue eyes. Then Jason nods, goes back to the door, and drags Tim in. “See? I told you it’s fine.”

Tim looks skeptical, so Dick makes a point of lifting the blanket he’s under invitingly. “C’mon, I need my cuddles.” He has now said or thought the word ‘cuddles’ more in one day than the last year combined.

It takes another gentle push from Jason, but Tim climbs in. He nestles trustingly against his side, head dropping onto Dick’s shoulder. Poor mite must really be tired.  

Jason nods, seemingly satisfied, and turns around.

“Wait, are you leaving?” Dick asks.

“Why shouldn’t I?”

“‘Cause you should join us?” Are kids always this bewildering?

Jason looks back, visibly baffled. “Why? I’m too old.”

“You’re never too old for cuddles,” Dick tells him with the conviction of a grown man who regularly gets cuddles from his girlfriend and loves it.

Jason doesn’t seem convinced. “Sure you are.”

“Jay…” Tim murmurs, sleepy eyes peeking out from under the blanket, and that seems to do it. Jason climbs into the blanket nest with a scowl. He makes sure to stay on Tim’s other side, away from Dick.

Dick doesn’t mind. It’s warm and cozy in here, and less than ten minutes later, the kids out. They’re at the age where nap-time doesn’t come quite that naturally anymore, Dick thinks, but they must’ve exhausted themselves. Besides, who knew if Tim and Jason got any sleep in their adult bodies the night before.

Dick closes his eyes, listening to his brothers breathe. He could do with a nap himself.

Wed 9 Oct

Do You Know Who You Are?

A billboard bearing only this message (bold white on black with a trippy vintage question mark with a hint of a yin yang symbol in it), the Columbia logo, and a small TPWK was discovered in Australia, setting off an international existential crisis and pandemonium (and "solving" the Do tweet mystery, to an extent). Harry Lambert immediately retweeted the pics with a blue heart but quickly deleted, adding to the pandemonium. The blue heart plus the misconception based on the first billboard pics that the lettering was blue led to lots of 'HS2 is blue' talk: while the lettering isn't, a member of Harry Lambert's team retweeted one of those tweets. "The Leonard Cohen font is such a power move," said Rob Sheffield: Cohen did use the font, as did many other albums of the era, including Bob Dylan and the MC5. John Lennon, whose birthday was today, didn't use the font but allegedly (according to basically one source) DYKWYA were the last words spoken to him, by a frantic policeman as he died. It took a while for other posters to be found worldwide, presumably because they went up overnight and it was still overnight most places, but they're out there now; the Holland Tunnel placement is especially nice, and it was pointed out that the first one spotted was in a neighborhood adjacent to one sharing the name of Harry's label, Erskine. Halsey tweeted about squeeing in her GC ("omg Harry is doing a thing"), Harry liked the tweet. She updated her header to 'Harry noticed me on 10/9' briefly, amazing, bravo. Last night while the chaos raged he let show that he was out there watching by liking a pic of someone's grandma.

Louis made a lot of waves as well today for someone who didn't technically do anything public: first a Jakarta based concert promoter posted that he was coming soon ("announcement tomorrow") then a "LouisT tour jkt" instagram page appeared ('coming soon!') but: both were deleted. He may indeed be coming to play Indonesia but nothing has actually been announced. Official accounts did post about the Mexico City show today. The media also managed to tie him, however tangentially, to the hot UK gossip scandal of the day, concerning the wives of footballers Jamie Vardy and Wayne Rooney; they pointed out that three years ago there was a rumour that a biopic of Vardy was going to be made and star Louis. Next time you think us fans have an impressive ability to make everything about One Direction remember this, cause that's a reach and a half right there. Do you ever think about the fact that these 'real journalist' bozos are getting like, salaries and benefits and I'm not?! What a world. Sad.

Niall keeps on going strong though he tells us he's tired and off for a well earned break of a few days now. As he says, "You have those nights where you’re like, 'nice to meet ya!' and also days where you’re like 'huh.'" But before he headed off for his 'huh' days he gave us another slew of interviews and barrage of pictures and boatload of tweets from New York. He posted a pic of himself posing with a poster of pal Selena Gomez and tags her, tells the story of NTMY- seeing the same group of girls repeatedly while bar hopping with friends- and chats about lying to girls in bars. "I love telling compulsive lies just for the laugh!"

Liam posted a collab playlist (of "spicy glo up songs") with singer songwriter Lauv and many were very excited about it and at the idea that it might presage other musical collaborations between the two, including no less a personage than Missy Elliot who commented with excited hand emojis on the post. Liam also posted a late night barechested lying in bed selfie, with just a glimpse of long brown hair visible in there. He and Maya were papped in London.

Chainer, Your Opponents’ Worst Nightmare

I have to say, when the deck themes were revealed for Commander 2019, I was not very excited. Flashback decks have been done, same with tokens. Morph was kinda neat. The only one that gave me any bit of excitement was the madness one. After the full spoilers, the madness deck was still the only one that had any appeal to me. A big reason for this was Chainer, Nightmare Adept. I have wanted to build a deck around the original Chainer, but Bontu and Skithiryx were already in my rotation, so I didn’t really want to add another mono black commander. The Nightmare Adept had me up all night, brainstorming ideas for how I could build around him. So, I did. Shortly after my LGS opened, I went and picked up a copy of the Merciless Rage precon.

Chainer is essentially, a fixed version of Recurring Nightmare, a card so powerful, it was banned from commander. Not to mention, I am a huge fan of reanimator style decks, so that is the direction I went. In short, you fill your graveyard through looting type cards, then reanimate your creatures and take out everyone! The preconstructed version focuses very heavily on the madness mechanic, and while this deck still utilizes the abilities, it is more focused on accruing value through the graveyard.

Since this is a reanimator deck, let’s start by taking a look at the cards that we will be using to cheat death. Animate Dead is going to be very useful. Very little drawback, not to mention that it combos with Worldgorger Dragon, which allows the deck to do all sorts of crazy infinite combos. Reanimate will bring anything back at the cost of some life. Stitch Together is also in here because of the threshold synergy with a big discard pile. Grave Betrayal has a cmc of seven, but I put it in the deck because taking opponents’ dead creatures is just extra value, especially when someone drops a boardwipe. Not to mention a handful of other things like Boneyard Parley and Mimic Vat.

There are many great reanimation targets that the precon already gave us. Archfiend of Spite is a madness costed Phyrexian Obliterater, Flayer of the Hatebound is a second Warstorm Surge for the deck and Meteor Golem is removal. A few other targets I added include Demonlord Belzenlock, for some additional card advantage. Tsabo Tavoc, to destroy legends at will. Sepulchral Primordial to get even more reanimation value. Finally, Archfiend of Ifnir is a force to be reckoned with in a deck that has so much discard.

That demon is far from the only card in the deck that rewards discarding. Faith of the devoted can help us win over a longer period of time if we need to grind out a win in a control matchup. Bone Miser is a new card from the precon and it is outstanding in a deck like this, it is an inverted Waste Not. Some cards with the original Madness mechanic are: Call to the Netherworld (free Raise Dead), Big Game Hunter (removal), Stromkirk Occultist (card advantage) and Fiery Temper (bolt) among others. Plus, Anger and Filth to benefit all of our creatures if they wind up in the yard. Squee, Goblin Nabob and Sanitarium Skeleton are also here to ensure that we always have something to pitch.

Looting is another mechanic that is a huge part of this deck. Red and Black have a hard time drawing cards without a cost. However, this deck tries to turn that cost into a benefit, seeing as how we want the graveyard to be stacked. Anje Falkenrath, Mad Prophet and Rummaging Goblin are all looters on bodies. Similarly, this build of the deck also runs Magus if the Wheel for an all out discard and draw en masse, if necessary. Tormenting Voice, Cathartic Reunion, Faithless Looting and Burning Inquiry all do a great job at filling both our hand and discard pile. I also put Ill-Gotten Gains in the deck as a way to not only disrupt opponents, but to get extra value out of discarded cards.

Rakdos decks tend to have a bit of a problem with ramp. Solemn Simulacrum is great, especially when it can be used multiple times. However, that isn’t nearly enough. The full ramp package also includes: Rakdos Signet, Rakdos Locket, Sol Ring, Hedron Archive and Gilded Lotus, plus an Armillary Sphere for additional fixing. At some point, I might increase the size of this aspect of the deck by one or two cards. As of right now, it seems a little light to me. More play testing is required before I make a decision.

Removal is something that Rakdos, as a color combination, has loads of. Excluding anything mentioned previously, here is the full removal package: Decree of Pain, In Garuuk’s Wake and Nightmare Unmaking are all mass creature removal. Shattering Spree works as both single and multi target artifact destruction. Bedevil, Dreadbore and Chaos Warp are the other single target removal spells. Chaos Warp can be great at removing enchantments, as Rakdos has an extremely hard time dealing with them in general.

Lastly, I want to touch on some cards that are hard to categorize. Swiftfoot Boots is great and can easily be upgraded to a Lightning Greaves, or paired with on for additional protection and haste. Key to the City helps fill the grave, allow our creatures to get in unblocked and can draw cards to replace those we discarded. Read the Bones is just a solid draw card that can fix the deck before drawing. Entomb puts any one creature i to the graveyard *cough* Worldgorger Dragon *cough*. Wildfire Devils are in here because... I want to see how they do. Garna, the Bloodflame is also here because they allow us to save some of our graveyard if someone threatens it.

This deck is a very fun, very strange deck to play. Often times, it feels like you are shooting yourself in the foot and then suddenly, you have the upper hand. I am pleased with how this deck turned out, but I know there can be even more modifications made. I hope this guide helped some people who may have been interested in a Chainer deck or a reanimation deck, or were on the fence about which of the new Commander 2019 products to pick up. Happy Brewing and as always here is my list: https://manastack.com/deck/chainer-nightmare-adept-5

Artist Credit:

Steve Prescott - Chainer, Robert Bliss - Reanimate, Michael Sutfin - Tsabo Tavoc, Greg Staples - Squee, Zoltan Boros & Gabor Szikszai - Burning Inquiry, Dan Scott - Solemn Simulacrum, Mathias Kollros - Decree of Pain, Wayne England - Worldgorger Dragon

Off Broad Street Players Get Peachy with James and the Giant Peach at the Levoy Theater in Millville, NJ

By Ricky Young-Howze

Tonight at the Levoy Theatre was totally the pits and that was a great thing because Off Broadstreet Players was showing off their latest All Kids Production of James and the Giant Peach Jr. This adaptation of Roald Dahl’s work had words and music by Benj Pasek and Justin Paul and book by Timothy Allen McDonald and was directed by Tyler Daddario. Be prepared for a theater spectacular that you’ll want to take a great big bite out of!

Thanks to the help of a mysterious man and his bug buddies James sets sail on the ocean in a giant peach to escape his aunts who are only looking to strike it rich.

Direction by Tyler Daddario tugged right at my heartstrings by filling the stage with the most talented kids in South Jersey. Now you guys know I’m a huge fan of puppets. So I have to really applaud his use of Bunraku (performers visible with their puppets) early in show only to have the puppets turn into costume characters as they “grew”. I also love his use light and shadow (which also isn’t surprising because he’s the lighting designer) and creative fog. Kudos to him for also wrangling so many kids onstage which he did so adeptly with assistance by Lauren Fazenbaker and Student director Jared Deshields.

If I said everything I really felt about these wonderful actors we’d be here for eighty days so let’s go through them in rapid fire!

James (played by Drew Terista) had such a natural energy onstage I haven’t seen in adult actors! He’s just gotta keep this up and if he does I’ll be leaving the nursing home in ninety years to review his millionth performance.

There are some performances you have to stop and watch because if you blink they’re gone. Ladahlord (played by Gian Verderose) was such a delight to watch! Here one moment and then running off in a flash right before your eyes! Btw he looks amazing in a dress!

Ladybug (played by Lena Dougherty) really stole the show! She ruled that stage with poise and panache! I can’t wait to see what she does in the future.

Grasshopper (played by Kurt Sparks) caught me by surprise with his splendid rendition of “Floating Along”. I didn’t expect that kind of performance from someone who looks like such a regular joe! There’s nothing regular about him.

Spider (played by Olivia Johnson) had no right making me cry so much with that voice and talking about her dead fiancé. I’m telling you no right (sniffle)! Seriously does she have a side job cutting onions?!? Truly a touching performance and a voice far more seasoned than her years.

Earthworm (played by Ayden Horsman) was a sleeper hit! Sometimes I would just look at him to see what the heck he was doing. He really baited me (ha!) with a great performance!

Centipede (played by Aidan Bradley) was brash and bold! It was nice to see him bringing that blue collar gruffness to the stage! Even with the short amount of time onstage you could really see him develop the character.

Spiker and Sponge (played by Brooklyn Richmond and Lauryn Sheppard respectively) made me laugh out loud. Their ability to commit larceny to a beat really inspired me. Richmond as Sponge has a singing voice that drew me into the songs and Sheppard as Spike stoke the stage as nimbly as she copped a purse.

I’m not going to kid you. Normally I pick out two kids from the ensemble to highlight here but I’ve been racking my brain trying to pick two great kids out of this amazing cast! I can’t! I surrender. This ensemble of amazing kids finally broke me and all earned a spot as my Background Standouts. There you go. I hope you’re happy!

In all seriousness each kid brought an energy and dedication to the show that makes me really excited to see what they do in the future. THIS is why you support theatre by young artists!

And a big get well soon to Scott Magee who would have been playing Bobby Bobby-Cop if he wasn’t sick with the flu! Best wishes for a speedy recovery.

Dana and I have a favorite saying “loud and bad is better than good and quiet”. Musical Director Aimee Ferenz has the gall to make sure they were both loud AND good! Young voices are some of the hardest things to coax into the rafters and she did it! This is her first time at the Levoy and I desperately beg that it not be her last!

Choreography by Katie Kiessling with assistance by Lindsay Nakai had tumbling and Fosse and jazz and just a little bit of everything! (Squee!) They totally maxed out their quota of jazz hands and high kicks.

Set Designer Mary Boner must be really tired of wood grain and orange after this show. But her work along with construction by Tom Kiessling, John Daddario and Wayne Wriggins really paid off. I especially loved that giant peach set! You have to go see it.

Props by Cara May were as simple as period suitcases to as complex as money with Director Tyler Daddario’s face on it raining down from the sky! This play has so many great props that seem so fun to build! May’s work is so fun to see onstage!

I knew costume designer Shaun Laurencio was on the scene the minute I saw the dresses of Spiker and Sponge. Only a Laurencio original is such a visual slap to the face that really shows you the grotesqueness of the characters. You saw this all over the stage on every character! Even with assistance by Tressie Neuber this must have been a massive undertaking! A special shoutout to Tressie for cutting her teeth with one of the toughest designers out there.

It seems lately that wherever I go hair and makeup design by John Rattacasa follows me (or the other way around). I’m going to wake up one day and find him putting wigs on my cats. Seriously this guy gets to do so many shows because he works hard and takes his stuff seriously! I especially loved his wigs on some of the ensemble they were like fabulous Easter Eggs! And Ladybug’s wig was especially intricate, interesting, and worked perfectly with the character.

It’s really hard to highlight great sound design because if it’s good you barely notice it. So I give a great kudos to design by Sean Pedrick for all of the microphone problems that I didn’t hear because they didn’t exist! Great job!

I keep telling people that all the theater training and big budgets in the world can’t substitute for a great cast having a great time. If they have fun and love what they do then so do we. This cast had me rolling in the aisles because they had fun themselves. You have to come see this show!

8x08: Hunteri Heroici

Then: 

Cas is back from Purgatory, but it’s at a price he has no idea he’s paying.

Now:

Gary, a man with a wedding ring, meets Olivia, a woman without a wedding ring, at a secluded park. They’re happy to see each other --until Gary’s heart beats so hard it pops out of his chest!

At a Gas ‘n Sip, the boys load up on fuel for Baby and soda pops for themselves? (I mean, unless Cas is driving, I can’t believe they’re drinking beer. Additionally, notice how Dean doesn’t get Cas one but these days Dean gets Cas a drink even when he declines one. Sigh.) Sam breaks down the latest on Kevin and the tablet. They’re safely hidden away on a houseboat of Garth’s, but no new breakthroughs on the tablet. Dean then asks Cas if he’s heard anything on angel radio.

Cas turned that off. He doesn’t want anything to do with Heaven anymore (Sad Trombone Noise.) Cas is going to be a hunter! Hurrah.

Look at this radiant angel! Petition for Cas to smile more 2K19.

He’s going to be Team Free Will’s third wheel, adding extra grip and greater stability. Cheers all around! He even has a case! They decide to check it out. Cas asks to sit in the front seat, and is thoroughly denied.

Look at this sad bean. Petition for Cas to sit in the front seat 2K19.

Once at the coroner's office, they take a look at the victim. His chest has a huge comic heart-shaped hole in it. Once the detective leaves, Cas jumps right into hunter mode: no EMF, no sulfur. He sniffs the corpse and notices he did recently suffered from a bladder infection. “Cas, stop smelling the dead guy,” Dean chastises. “Why?” He knows everything now. Sam disagrees and mentions the affair the man was having. Dean surmises the guy was living a lie and it caught up with him.

*Sam suffered a fugue state for a year Flashback*

Sam and Amelia are settling into their new home together and Amelia’s dad pays a visit. He has no time for the shiftless drifter in his daughter’s life.

In present day, the trio head to interview the widow. Cas knows exactly what to do. He leans over the woman, and with a slightly funny New York accent, he screams, “Why did you kill your husband?!” The woman bursts into tears and Dean pulls Cas aside. “I was being bad cop.” “You were being bad everything.”

Turns out the wife knew about Gary’s affair. Cas is confounded by the turn of events, and Dean is elated.

Cut to a suicidal businessman on the edge of a building. He takes a step, but keeps walking on air several feet off the building. He exclaims, “God wants me to live!” before plummeting to his death. Splat.

TFW investigate again. Dean realizes it all sounds a bit like Bugs Bunny. Cas is on the case again! “So we're looking for some sort of insect-rabbit hybrid? How do we kill it?” Bless.

I just want to pause here and squee about how hard Cas is trying to be a hunter in this episode. He’s flipping adorable. And this whole episode is so beautifully bright and colorful (like a Looney Tunes cartoon!)

At the motel, Cas has an epiphany about cartoons and humanity (and I feel a bit called out as a fan constantly looking for more meaning in a silly little show with violence and humor.)

Motel Room Bullet Points of Goodness:

*Dean drops a Tom Petty reference

*Cas pokes around Dean’s toiletry bag

*The slumber party that was cut for time

*”I’ll watch over you”

*The set design

Cas hears about a bank robbery over the police band. Cut to a splattered body with a 1 ton anvil over it. Looney. The bank robber, dubbed The Black Hole, struck again. He’s called The Black Hole because he always leaves a signature black hole on the wall. Sam goes with the detective to look at paperwork on the other robberies, while Cas shows off his angel strength to Dean.

Later at the motel, Cas reads John’s journal. Dean asks how Cas is feeling. (o_O) Cas deflects and gets testy when Dean pushes for him to contact Heaven. (O_0)

Cas then confesses to Dean his fears about Heaven and how he destroyed thousands of his own kind. “I can’t go back.” He fears that if he sees how he destroyed Heaven, he might kill himself (O_O) (Like, this is legitamily heavy stuff. I think Cas is only now forgiving himself for this.)

*Interrupting Moose Alert*

Sam has enough looney information for them to map locations that correspond to a retirement home.

At the retirement home, Sam and Dean flash their badges (and poor Cas appears to reach into his trench but looks sideways glumly.) They ask to interview the residents. Cas’s first interrogation is a doozy. “You are so pretty, Charles.”

During the interview about her missing jewelry, the woman mentions that the cat talks sometimes. Cas is on to interrogation number 2!

While Cas starts to crack his catty canny interrogation subject, Sam's got eyes on another resident of the retirement home. Waggle those fingers Wayne's World style, kids, because it's time for a flashback! 

In Sam's flashback, Amelia serves a godawful dish of pasta and noodle-fied hot dogs in keeping with her family's tradition of that as a first meal every time the military moved them to a new town. Sam tries to bond with Amelia's dad by throwing out that his dad was a Marine (a fact that I constantly forget). Amelia's dad continues to be a giant dick, mocks the Marines, and tells Sam that he thinks Sam is something akin to ex-military. Sam looks like a traumatized ex soldier to him, and he's just holding on to Amelia for a chance at a normal life. It's an insightful comment, but delivered in such a dickish manner that I want to punch the guy every time.

Dean snaps Sam out of his fuzzy flashback and Sam recognizes Fred Jones, a resident of the facility, as a psychokinetic ex-hunter. Dean and Sam rally the troops to interrogate Fred, tragically cutting off Castiel's masterful interrogation of the cat.

In Fred Jones' room, he's fixated on the TV which is showing old cartoons. He's utterly unresponsive to any of their attempts to reach him (which, to be fair, is mostly just shouting and being loud). DEAN. DUDE. Dean tests their hypothesis that Fred's their guy and bashes himself in the forehead with a book. From the sound effects and comedic expression, we understand that they're in the cartoon zone. “Do we...kill him?” Castiel asks, running through the hunter playbook. The facility director overhears this concept and our team is sent away.

Cut to a birthday celebration in the day room. There's a huge sparkler candle jammed into a massive pink cake and Fred's sitting in the corner. He lights upon an old cartoon with a stick of dynamite and in no time at all...WHAMMO! The candle explodes. Cake everywhere. (Fortunately, nobody died.)

Sam rushes up to announce that Fred's gone. Though things are looking bad for detective Cas, he does notice the diamonds on one of the nurse’s wrists. The diamonds belonged to one of the other nursing home residents, and were recently stolen. The nurse claims that her boyfriend gave her the diamonds and TFW speeds off in the mystery machine to interview their next suspect! 

They find the thief's apartment. There's one dead guy and one gravely injured. Cas heals the injured man. <3 CAS <3 Then it's interrogation time. The guy Cas heals reveals that the doctor in charge of the facility is in charge of the thefts. He's taken Fred to the bank for one more score.

As TFW loads up in the car, Sam experiences another fuzzy flashback. This time, Sam's washing dishes while Amelia's dick father tells her - audibly in the other room - that he knows what's best for her and she should move home. FUCK OFF, AMELIA'S DAD.

TFW find the bank and sure enough, there's a black hole painted onto the wall. Dean reaches inside and when his hand passes through, he happily mutters “Awesome,” and gets ready to head inside. 

Cas sniffs out the power near the bank and finds Fred inside of a van. Cas does a quick and super chill mind meld with Fred and Sam, propelling both of them into Fred's mind. It's a cartoon world.

In Fred's head, he's lucid. Sam and Cas tell him about all the weird stuff that's going down in the real world. “You want to know what's the worst thing that can happen to a guy that's got a mind like I got? Losing it,” Fred tells them. While Sam, Cas, and Fred are having existential crises, Dean fights the robber.

Dean’s gun doesn't work; cartoon rules are in full force. There are frying pans, anvils, and more. It’s a wacky, inventive fight and at the end, we all learn a very important lesson. Never bring a gun to a gag fight.

For Comedic Science: 

Sam finally processes his soft focus flashbacks and tells Fred that he's gotta to wake up and face reality. Cas takes these words to heart, likely having his own soft focus flashback as we watch him standing thoughtfully in the background.

Fred wakes up. The thief tries to escape through the black circle on the wall but it's now just paint again. He threatens Dean with a gun but Fred comes in and forces the doctor to shoot himself. Fred's lucid for now, but tells them that it's only a matter of time before he slips away. He asks them to make it stop.

Cas tells Fred that he can help him, but it will be very painful and there may not be much of him left after that. Later, the procedure done, Fred listens to Ode to Joy in his head as they wind up the case. Dean offers Cas shotgun but Cas refuses. He has to--

And then Cas is zapped back upstairs to Naomi's office. She knows Cas wanted to return to Heaven and she forbids it. Cas is desperate to go back to Heaven and help, but Naomi tells him he must stay away. Back on Earth, Cas zaps back to the conversation. Instead of what he was going to say, Cas amends himself to say he's going to stay and watch over Fred for a few days and then figure out what he's going to do next.

And we've got one more flashback... Sam, Amelia, and Amelia's dad are finally bonding over stories of Amelia's embarrassing youth. FUCK OFF, AMELIA’S DAD. The phone rings and Amelia gets up to answer it. Sam opens up to her dad, telling him that he lost his brother and ran because of that. Maybe they'll be friends after all! Yay? And then Amelia gets off the phone. It's the military. Her husband's been found alive! Yaaaay?

Back at the retirement home, Dean and Sam take off, leaving Castiel to settle next to Fred and listen, for a little while, to Ode to Joy.

Wascally Wabbit Quotes:

Garth has a safe house boat?

So, what now? Move to Vermont? Open up a charming B&B?

A third wheel adds extra grip, greater stability.

So we're looking for some sort of insect-rabbit hybrid?

X marks the spot.

That's Looney, alright.

I understand. The bird represents God. And coyote is man, endlessly chasing the divine, yet never able to catch him. It's hilarious.

There was a pastry mishap.

“It’s wabbit season.” “I don’t think you pronounced that correctly.”

What's up, doc?

Want to read more? Check out our Recap Archive! 

6Teen Drinking Game

*Disclaimer: this is meant for people who are of legal drinking age, and as an additional warning, do not take shots for this game.  Sipping and including water is strongly encouraged.  In fact, I’d rather you just drink for one character per episode if you’re binge-watching for nostalgic purposes.

Take a drink for

Wyatt

-every time he drinks or mentions coffee

-every time he sings or plays a musical instrument

-every time he gets awkward around girls

-every time he is the voice of reason

Jude

-every time he skateboards

-every time he makes a kid-friendly stoner reference

-every time he obscures gender roles

-every time he eats

Jonesy

-every time he gets a job

-every time he’s fired

-every time he’s gross with girls/women

-every time he’s a shitty friend or stepbrother

Nikki

-every time she mocks, assaults, or humiliates her coworkers

-every time she proves she’s not like other girls

-every time she insults one of her customers at her job

-every time she insults one of her friends

*bonus* every time you admired her as a kid but cringe at her attitude now for some of her words and actions

*another bonus* if you’ve ever sworn you would quit a job you hate run by people you hate but never did, just like Nikki

Caitlin

-every time she gets awkward around a boy

-every time she cries

-every time she royally screws up (two drinks if it’s bad friend advice)

-every time she is shown to have a shopping or fashion addiction

Jen

-every time she gets frustrated with her boss

-every time she has a crush

-every time she loses her temper

-every time she displays her competitive nature

Additional sips for every time:

-you wonder how these people haven’t been fired

-you wonder why high school students are given so much power and responsibility in the workplace

-every time Caitlin, Jen, or the Clones squee

-every time Ron is super creepy

-every time Wayne is super creepy

-every time you look back on this show and go “holy shit this show relied on a lot of cheap stereotypes.”

#Gotham S3 Ep. 16 "These Delicate and Dark Obsessions" Spoilers, Recap, and Review

Alrighty, nerds and geeks alike, let’s get back to Gotham. The sixteenth episode of the third season is titled ‘These Delicate and Dark Obsessions’, and it was directed by Jim Gordon himself, Ben McKenzie; a fantastic episode given direction by a fantastic actor in my opinion. We got the Court, we got Bruce, we got a guy called the Shaman, a Gordon family dispute, goons, mazes, and a strange partnership between Poison Ivy and Penguin! Let’s get started.

We are informed by the Court about the apparent and poor status of Gotham and the Court of Owls has so graciously taken it upon themselves to obtain some sort of super weapon to destroy the city. Oh, and since the Court does not seem too worried about the real Bruce Wayne (David Mazouz), there’s no reason we should worry about him, right?

Now, the last time we saw Bruce, his clone had sedated him in order to carry out the Court’s plan. And once again, the Court took it upon themselves to take the real Bruce to some unknown location. He just wakes up inside some sort of temple cell overlooking a snowy, mountainous area. Isn’t the Court of Owls just so freaking nice?

 We quickly find out that Bruce is not alone when he comes to. The Shaman (Raymond J. Barry) informs Bruce that he has been waiting for him for a long time…..kinda creepy but at the same time, kinda cool and stoic.

 Let’s get back to Gotham and see what’s going on there. During Oswald’s “absence”, Aubrey James has been reinstated in office…..yay. Jim is investigating in his father’s murder case; a supposed “car accident”. The man that was apparently drunk while driving and who killed Jim’s father had a chronic persistent hepatitis.

 I’ll say that again: The driver who killed Jim’s father was diagnosed with chronic persistent hepatitis.

If some of you readers notice something wrong with that police report, don’t worry, so did Harvey Bullock (Donal Logue). Anyone who has chronic persistent hepatitis, or “the Irish Curse”, they are unable to drink. So much as a tongue dip could kill anyone with it. Jim takes Harvey’s alcoholic trivia and figures out that the man who killed his father was never drunk and that he had to believe his uncle Frank’s (James Remar) words.

Jim decided to have another chat with Frank. He admits that there is a weapon that the Court plans on using on Gotham City, although he has no idea what the weapon is exactly; but he does know who paid the lawyer of the supposed drunk driver: Carmine Falcone (John Doman). Dun dun DUN!!!

 Let’s take a breather from all that for a minute and get to the hijinks!

We cut to see Ivy Pepper (Maggie Geha) wheel in a newly revived Oswald Cobblepot (Robin Lord Taylor) into her greenhouse to give him some fresh air and to show him her friends. By friends, I mean plants. A lot of plants. Remember she’s not Poison Ivy just yet, she’s just making her way. But hey, I think it’s cool that Ivy is good to her plants and that she’s close to them. Sometimes real friends or real people can be mean, plain and simple. She’s found her knack in life and more power to her, I say!

 Instead of being grateful to Ivy for saving his life, Oswald decides to be a bit of a prick about her friendly, naïve, and enthusiastic nature. Although, I’d be mad too if I lost my political status, both in a mayoral sense and in the criminal underworld and if I was shot point plank and left for dead by someone I loved. But that’s no excuse for turning away an herbal beverage when it’s offered.

 We all know that Penguin wouldn’t be Penguin if he didn’t have some sort of plan any time of the day, and Oswald aggressively expresses his need for his newest plan: Get an army of loyal goons and thugs and kill Edward and Barbara Kean. Simple, yet effective. He urges for Ivy to call in Oswald’s most dumbest and loyal follower Gabe so his plan will be properly and quickly executed

Gabe is so happy and excited to see that his old boss didn’t bite the big one! However, Ivy feels very distrustful towards Gabe. Oswald’s frustration comes to its end when he decides to give her the brush off, in a very prickish manner I might add. Ivy legitimately feels hurt and states that she thought they were friends. To which Penguin scoffs and tells her,

“You’re a bit of a freak.”

I don’t know about you, but the words “weird” or “freak” kind of trigger me. Much like several people in Gotham City, I am learning to own up to it and make it sort of my own; but you know, words still hurt. Oswald, I love you, but damn dude!    

Understandably, Ivy leaves in a huff. Gabe inquires to Oswald if she didn’t trust him. Oz shrugs it off but is abruptly bopped in the head by Gabe. Turns out, Ivy was right.

Back to Bruce, he is confronted by the Shaman. He presents Bruce with a set of what look like acupuncture needles with strange symbols on each end. Bruce is hesitant when the Shaman pokes Bruce’s forehead. His eyes turn white, he gasps as this transcendent force runs through his mind.

In a flash, Bruce looks around to see that he’s not in the cell anymore. He’s back in Gotham City. A look of dread washes over his face when Bruce realizes that what he’s seeing is not happening in real time.

Bruce is standing, watching the memory of a lone thug shoot his parents in an alleyway.

Bruce is revived back into the present completely shocked and dumbfounded by what he saw. The Shaman tells Bruce to rest for he will come back and try again.

As we resume the story through Gordon’s perspective, we see him confront Carmine Falcone in his home about his father’s death. He demands the name of the person who ordered the hit in the first place. Falcone is a bit miffed to see Jim, to say the least. After all, he did murder his son on his wedding day; but he gives up the name anyway: Frank Gordon.

It’s Frank’s turn to be confronted by Jim. Frank admits that he was the one who initiated the hit on his own brother, Peter because he was planning on exposing the Court of Owls. Now, anyone in this situation would want to just beat up Frank right there on the spot, but not Jim. Above many things, Jim is a cop. He tries to put Frank under arrest, but Frank reluctantly puts Jim in his place, revealing where the weapon of the Court will be. Jim and Harvey realize that neither they nor the GCPD can just go down to where the weapon is without bringing too much attention to themselves from the Court.

So…..Jim has to ask for help.       

 The new Barbara Queen of Gotham (Erin Richards) happy agrees to assist Jim. She and Tabitha (Jessica Lucas) play a good round of punchies while interrogating one of the workers who work where the weapon is supposed to arrive: Dock 19. The worker admits that the weapon has already been shipped in. He gestures to a large crate labeled:

Indian Hill

But before anyone can do anything else, a single Talon appears with a sword and, at the risk of sounding like a kid being impressed by a cool assassin with a cool sword taking on a bunch of guys with guns, he was all *WHOOSH* *SWING* *JUMP* *STAB* and it was totally awesome!!!! When the Talon took out all of the guys with guns, Barbara and Tabitha make a break for it and get out of there.

 Meanwhile, the Court of Owls let Frank know that they are aware of Jim’s actions about investigating in his father’s murder and order Frank to kill him.

Ivy, along with Oswald gets captured and restrained by Gabe and a few of his goon friends. While he’s reeling over the betrayal, Ivy remains cool as a cucumber because she just so happens to be wearing her special perfume. She gets one of the guys to come over and take a whiff, putting him under her complete control. She orders him to shoot and kill everyone but Gabe and untie them.

Ivy holds Gabe at gunpoint as Oswald considers reenlisting him. He tells Ivy to use her perfume to make Gabe tell the truth. Even though Gabe said he would go back to Penguin and be completely loyal, Ivy’s perfume made him sing. Gabe reveals that he never intended to remain loyal to Oswald and that the only reason that he and other would follow him was because they all feared him.

They feared him, but they never respected him.

Gabe also says that he always saw Oswald for who he really was: just a weak umbrella boy. A freak.

Needless to say, reminding Oswald of his past that way did not set well. In his anger, he kills and hacks Gabe with a gardening tool.

Now left with no men, no goons, Oswald is back to step one. He still needs an army to kill Edward and Barbara. Ivy gets a bright idea to recruit an army of freaks from Indian Hill that were driven out of Gotham.

Jim and Frank confront each other once again. He tells Jim that he has orders to kill Jim since he could not persuade him to join the Court. Frank finally fesses up and tells Jim that he need to join in order to finish what he and Peter wanted to do from the beginning: take the Court down. For extra insurance for Jim’s sake, Frank shoots himself in the head, making it look like Jim killed him in rage over his father’s death.

Back in the cell, the Shaman makes Bruce relive his parent’s murder. The Shaman inquires that Bruce has never let go of the pain of that night, and that he needs to in order to become something bigger: a protector. He needs Bruce to become a symbol in Gotham so that it can be reborn.

For a Batman fan, like myself, this is where I was squeeing and flipping out going “He means Batman! He means Batman!”

The last scene that we see is Jim Gordon visiting his father’s grave when he receives a phone call from Kathryn (Leslie Hendrix). Gordon does what his uncle asked of him when got the call. He made it seem like Jim killed Frank in an act of revenge for his father and he asks to meet her and the Court. Jim turns to the side and he sees a limousine waiting for him.

I can’t express how great this episode was and I give major applause to Ben McKenzie for his directing skills as well as his acting. Bravo!

Things I liked:

The dynamic and partnership between Jim and Harvey.

The newfound team and relationship between Ivy and Penguin.

The chance to see Bruce take his steps in becoming “a protector” for Gotham. I never really wanted to see Bruce become Batman when I first heard about this show, but it is evident that the people working on Gotham have a specific plan for Bruce and I love seeing that plan come to life.

James Remar and Raymond J. Barry. That’s it. They’re frigging awesome.

Loved seeing some Penguin rage.

Love what Maggie Geha is doing with Ivy Pepper. She may have aged, but she still kind of has that child mentality and maturity in her mannerisms. And yet she keeps the appearance of a street-wise woman. I’d like to think that if Ivy was still a kid and she went about in the same manner, no one would take her seriously or even look her way. But even though she still is somewhat a kid, since she has the body of a grown woman, Ivy will feel more heard.

Things I did not like:

Even though I agree Gabe got what was coming to him, I’m going to miss that lug.

8/10 for the sixteenth episode of the third season.

And as always, stay weird!

Evil Has Always Lost Chapter 14: Epilogue

Lucifer charges back through the firey wall sliding infront of Dean Nose to nose, eye to eye "Well, it seems the boy wants to be a man" He backs up and removes his long back trench coat tossing it to the side "well, Dean, come on then" He smirk's as Dean Winchester pull's out the golden sword walking toward Lucifer as Lucifer runs at him Dean slices Lucifer down the middle much to the king of Hell's surprise before he fell to his knees, Chuck walked toward Lucifer a smirk on his face "Your arrogance led you to this moment, son" He says before crouching slightly "That sword wasn't ment to kill you, it was ment to null your power" He looks around the battlefield "and your allies have all lost, just like you, I'm sending you back to hell and everything will return to the way it was--peace on earth til judgement day" He turns to metatron "Will you, Do the honors my good man?" He smiles as Metatron pulls the type writer infront of him and begins to type. Lucifer screams as hes dragged back toward hells gate, the entire earth beginning to fix itself. the sky turns blue once more, buildings fix themselves, angels dragged to hell, Everything damaged being fixed as people cheered all believing in Gods Mircale. Dean and the other hunters are returned to normal, no longer glowing of a bright hue. Dean and Sam bid edgar Alan, Rudy, and Sam emerson a goodbye before turning toward the rest. Grant Mitchell look's around at the other hunters "Well, Mates, Its been fun. My boy, got to see his old man kick arse" Ge says as Phil Mitchell grumbles about being the first one killed Mark fowler jr. look's at Dean "This men of letters thing, you do this for a living?" he asks as Dean smiles "yeah" he replies as Mark Fowler Jr. extends a hand "Then thank you" Dean and sam shake his hand before the trio head for the Tardis. Luke Van Helsing look's at Dean then Sam "this isn't goodbye, this is just a brief departure" He hugs dean then Sam patting Sam's back "you finally stood up to the devil and lived, No one can say that" He pulls from sam then tilts his hat to them "I'll be catching you later" He walk's toward the Tardis. Dean Winchester look's at Sam Winchester "What are you looking like that for?" He say's as Sam Winchester snap's out of it "Nothing" He quickly affirms watching James Cook walk over to them "Lads! HAHA" he laughs stopping before them taking a long drag from his spliff "We did okay! yeah? The Men of Letters are fuckin' okay!" He look's back at the Tardis then at Dean "We have to do this again some time, matey's" He hugs Dean then turns walking toward the Tardis, Batman walks over to Dean and Sam looking at them "Dean, Sam, I guess this is goodbye" He says as Clark kent walked up to them "It's not goodbye, Bruce" He says as Batman turn's around "Listen here, kansas boy, you don't get to say it's not goodbye" He says as blue eyes stared back at Blue eyes. Clark Kent look's at Dean and Sam "Forgive my Friend, Bruce. He's always been a loner, This isn't good bye, its simply a seperation until the next big threat comes along--Oh, one more thing, If those british men of letters keep butting into our BUSINESS, then It won't be my fault what happens to them," He says fixing his tie as Batman stares at him "What? why are you staring at me?" He ask's as Bruce Wayne turns back to the Winchesters "If those British Men of letters poke their nose in gotham again, I'm afraid You won't be seeing them again" he holds out a hand to Dean Winchester who takes it and shakes it "You were an excellent partner against that Hockey masked freak, maybe one day we can do it again," Clark nudges Bruces rib as Bruce growls at him "AND be friends..." He says before turning and walking to the Tardis. Clark Kent look's at Sam Winchester then Dean "Statiscally, When you work as a team any thing is possible, Working solo--You might die" he tips his hat Sams way and walks away as Sam Winchester holds up hands defensively "Uh, i have no Idea what he's talking about Dean" He says as Dean look's at him "I'm pretty sure you do" he says before being interrupted by Clyde Barrows "Well, Boys it's time for me to head back to my pocket universe, do me a favour and wait a very very long time before you want my help" He put's the rifle in his coat then opens the portal and look's at Dean "Lucifer, wasn't so tough--I expected bigger" He hops inside the portal slamming shut behind him.  Dean Winchester look's at The Doctor who was walking their way "well, gentlemen, This is where we part way's. But," He look's between them a cunning smirk on his face "Does that mean theres never a meeting between us? We may part to seperate roads but, in the end all roads lead back to you" He look's back at the Tardis then at Dean "Sometimes, Having friends is more important than dying inside, We may lose our heart and we may fall apart," he look's into Dean Winchesters eyes "In the end friendship, love can rebuild us, We do not stay dead inside--In this vast universe there are brilliant people and there ARE sad people, But Dean you are not Dead inside, what happened to your mother was not yours, nor that 4 year old childs fault" He places both hands on Deans shoulders "It is time you Lived and didn't give a damn what any one says, Dean Winchester, Sam you do what needs to be done on your end but, out there, out here where I am I will do my part and protect this earth from the threat of the ever looming Evil that threatens it; This Is good bye for now, but not forever--Time Has no End" He turns snapping his fingers and heads for the Tardis. The Tardis disappears, Chuck Shurley and Metatron watched Dean and Sam before Metatron replies "What now?" He look's at Chuck, Chuck look's at metatron then at the Winchesters snapping his fingers. The Impala reappears infront of Dean and Sam, Metatron look's at him "Seriously? Your next is a Car? I fail to see the enj--" Chuck holds up a hand "You wouldn't understand, sentimental value, after all you are a scribe" He says as Dean walks around the Impala looking it over Sam looks annoyed at this "Dude, Just because it magically appears doesn't mean gawk at it like you wanna fuck it" He says as Dean look's back at him "just get in the damn car" He slides into the front seat as Sam Winchester climbs in and looks at Dean "Seriously? It hasn't even been 3 minutes and your aleady whispering sweet lovin's to it, Get a fuckin' room" He slams his car door causing Dean to sit up "Hey, Hey, you close that Door gently, we've been over this," He motions to his door "when in my baby you close her doors like you're making sweet sweet love to a girl, and when you are driving shot gun you shut your cakehole" He holds up a Cd much to Sam's dismay "No, No Dude, I--No you better not put that stupid CD in" He states as Dean pops in the CD and immdiately it plays AC/DC back in black "Back in black!" Dean sings as Sam covers his ears "Noooo!" He shouts before the impala speeds off with the song blairing loudly. Chuck Shurley tosses the spn book to Metatron "Hang on to it, But don't think you can alter it understand?" he warns as Metatron smiles "I wouldn't do that, you know that" He vanishes as Chuck Shurley turns toward A hiding Crowley "Oh, you came back? well, you're actually quite late in helping sam and Dean" He chides as Crowley pokes his head out from behind the tipped over truck "Oi! I was gonna bloody help! I just--I just had laundry that needed tended to personally, it is Bloody hard being King of hell with no god--Sorry, with no damn Help" He says as Chuck rub's his chin "Right, Right. So, you can help by fixing that strip club back up, these cars and get rid of the bodies here with a proper burial, Can't you?" he asks as Crowley just stared at him "what Do I bloody look like? A freakin' construction crpty ceeper!?" he shouts but Chuck had already vanished. Crowley curses him under his breath walking toward the bodies he hears Harley quinn crying up on one of the light posts "Oi! will you Bloody be quiet! Some people are trying to bury a good corpse!" He shouts as Harley Quinn glares at him "Fuck you! Fat ass! my Puddin; is dead!" She shrieks as Crowley turns away from her shrugging "Women, so Bloody animalistic" He walk's toward the first body he could see and look's down at it "so, you're the clown prince of crime eh? tough break, he bloody snapped your neck like a twig" He crouches down then holds out a hand "I'll just incenerate you and the rest, you won't mind will ya? I mean, you're pretty much dead any ways right?" His hand causes the ground to shake as Crowley look's up at Harley Quinn "If it's any consolation, Quinzel i'm going to give your 'sweetum's' a proper burial--by fire of course! AHAHA!" he begin's laughing then turn's toward the Joker's corpse when suddenly the Joker grabs his arm much to Crowleys Shock as Crowley falls on his ass his arm still held "Your neck--Its bloody broken!" He shout's as The Joker lift's up head down his eyes blank and dead stare into Crowleys eyes before he snaps his own neck back into place letting crowleys arm go, Harley Quinn squee's in excitement like a six year old seeing candy as The Joker begin's to smile the smile growing into a devilishly wide grin his metal teeth on full display before he brings his forearm to his mouth Crowley scurries backwards "Oh, you're a bloody freak! i'm out of here!" He disappears quickly as The Joker fall's back a chuckle escaping his throat, A laugh begins to form in his throat "AhahahahahahHOHOHOHOHOHOHOHEHEHEHEHEHEHEHEHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHEHEHEHEHOHOHOHOHOHO! Batsy," he grin's looking to the sky "I'm comin' for you" He places his hand infront of his mouth.

The End.

Pokémon FireRed Nuzlocke [Part 2]

It’s a Nuzlocke! Standard rules apply, with one slightly less standard rule.

No grinding. No fights with anything but Trainers. Accidental deaths for the catch option of a route are permitted, but it can’t be intentional.

Part 2, start.

We stand outside Mt. Moon, staring out at Route 4. Where we have yet to catch anything for the box or our team. Where we have yet to see what horrors await. Our only allies in this are Heero and Allenby.

We continue!

If these guys are move tutors instead of trainers, I wasted my Escape Rope. I only had one. ...Yeah, these are the Mega Punch and Mega Kick guys, peddling moves that are too inaccurate to risk in a run like this.

I definitely wasted my Escape Rope.

The first wild pokemon I see is Spearow. We’ve already got that one.

The second wild pokemon I see is Spearow.

The third pokemon I see is Rattata. We’ve already got that one.

The fourth pokemon I see is a Spearow.

The fifth pokemon I see is a Rattata.

...What happens first, me finding something different, me looking up if there is something different, or me discontinuing this style of recounting events? Yes, the last one. I’m not cruel.

Hey, an Ekans!

I think... I need to throw a Poke Ball before attacking it. I think I’m overleveled enough that I could kill it. It’s level 6. Even my weakest attack has a risk. These kiddos have grown up fast.

Poke Ball is made of win, and Ekans’ name is now... Zek. He will go in the box. I think if he were a higher level, I would consider adding him, but... we’re pushing the army of one (two) thing so far.

Now things get awful.

I think I have to face my rival before I have access to more trainers.

Hn.

First out is his Pidgeotto. It’s level 17. I decided to have Heero out front for this, and good, because I would not want Allenby facing this. Oy. Let the Sand-Attack hell begin!

But Heero sweeps in with the burn! Pidgeotto down!

Aaaaand the Squirtle is next.

You’re up, Allenby. Allenby has an Oran Berry. Squirtle is level 18.

Allenby with the crit! Yes! Down with the evil Squirtle!

Heero out for the level 16 Abra. It knows Teleport. That appears to be all.

Allenby out again for the level 15 Rattata.

:P

Sooooo.

Misty is coming up.

Allenby x Nugget Bridge OTP?

She’s really my only option. Whatever I end up with in the next route, it won’t have enough trainers to grind into a position to fight Misty. Using Heero at all against Misty is a serious risk I don’t want to take. I don’t want to limit Heero’s exp intake entirely, because hey, guess who’s only using two pokemon at the moment, but. yeah.

...Yay, Allenby.

Of course.

One Scratch fells the level 10 Caterpie. Good start. The level 10 Weedle goes much the same way. Then it’s level 10 Metapod time. Level 10 Kakuna follows, as it does.

Lass Ali is next. She’s got a level 12 Pidgey. Heero can have the level 12 Oddish. Allenby’s back for the level 12 Bellsprout.

Youngster Timmy for no. 3. See, now this is a person who deserves a Sandshrew. A cursed, level 14 Sandshrew. Sigh. Then a level 14 Ekans.

Level 20!

Numero cuatro. Lass Reli. Male level 16 Nidoran. Plus female level 16 Nidoran. I feel like these are taking a dangerous slant up and I don’t think I like it.

Number Five! Oh wait, no, this one’s name is Camper Ethan. With a level 18 Mankey, lol.

Fury Swipes hits five times, and Allenby uses up her Oran Berry. Sigh. Oh well. I’m sure I’ll find another one eventually.

This is how winning a prize goes in every universe.

Level 15 Ekans. Begone. Heero gets to eat the level 15 Zubat.

Onward!

Hiker Franklin doesn’t have a turtle shell, but he does have a level 15 Machop. It helps Allenby to level 21, where she declines to learn Focus Energy. Franklin’s other pokemon is a level 15 Geodude. Fare thee well.

Next up is...

...wait.

DO YOU HAVE A RATTATA?

HE DOES.

IT IS LEVEL 15.

He also has a Spearow. I’m... going to hesitantly leave Allenby in, probably switching to Heero if the first hit goes badly. Yeah, okay, Allenby downs it in a hit. Nice.

Hiker Wayne has an Onix. It is level 17. I have an Allenby. The end result is obvious.

Youngster Dan is next with--a level 17 Slowpoke. Hm. Do not want. And yeah, it knows Confusion. Ugh. Um. Phew. Okay. Allenby lives and gains a level.

You know, one of the serious benefits of doing this through posts instead of videos is that no one has to put up with me walking to the Pokemon Center each time either of my pokemon takes a hit. It’s boring enough to do. I don’t want to think about how dull watching would be.

To mix things up I’m gonna catch my Route 25 thing.

How has every Nuzlocke I’ve seen of this gen ended up with a damn Abra.

-sigh- Yeah, it breaks out of the ball, so Route 25 is a dead route. Very sad.

Picknicker Kelsey wants us to know that her boyfriend is cool. Also that she wants to battle. She has a level 15 male Nidoran. Also a level 15 female Nidoran.

Route 24, feel like helping?

Squee!

You can be Noin!

Noin isn’t a box buddy. Noin is going to be part of the squad. Now to consider how best to level her. Because really, I don’t know. Her Type is helpful for the Gym, but. She’s a low level, and we don’t have many trainers between us and Misty. On the brightish side, Allenby’s growth is slowing, so switch training would dock her leveling much?

I’ll put Noin in front for one or two fights and see how it works. idk. The hardest part of this run for me is going to be figuring out what gets which piece of pie.

I’m not afraid of level 14 Rattatas anymore, buddy. Or level 14 Ekans.

Hiker--um. I missed the name. But he’s got a level 13 Geodude. That’s something Noin can do stuff about. She makes it to 13 herself! Hiker Nob, that’s his name. His thing seems to be having lots of level 13 Geodude. Then one level 13 Machop to round things out. Allenby can have that one.

Camper Flint needs us to know he’s a cool guy with a girlfriend. He has a level 14 Rattata. Noin’s level 14. What happens if I just let them fight? Bad things? Uh, not really, but it does have Hyper Fang, so for comfort’s sake, Allenby gets the last hit. She stays in to handle the level 14 Ekans.

Chad isn’t a real name. Level 14 Ekans means Allenby. Level 14 Sandshrew means Noin can play again. Leading to Noin being a beautiful level 15 kiddo.

Lass Haley might be our last trainer before we do Gym stuff. -gasp- She has an Oddish! In the interest of avoiding Absorb wars, Heero gets something to do, finally. She can also grab the level 13 Pidgey, but Noin is switching in for exp first. Same with the other level 13 Oddish.

I take it back. I think if I’d caught Noin sooner, it would have been worth my time to level her up. As it stands, this is my team pre-Gym.

Now let’s go fix Bill.

Bill is fixed.

To Misty!

First Swimmer (Luis) has a level 16 Horsea to start out. With trepidation, Noin, go forth. ...Noin gets a crit, and Noin hits level 16! A level 16 Shellder is next.

Icicle Spear isn’t fun. But Absorb got me my HP back. Eeeh, limiting the risk, let’s just put Allenby in to finish it off. And that’s the first trainer. Next up is Picknicker Diana.

With her level 19 Goldeen.

Oh fuck, it knows Peck, doesn’t it?

I think. Noin can take one hit. Then hit with Absorb, take it down a notch, switch to Allenby, who will also take a hit, and then finish it off. Without STAB, that should work out okay.

It uses Tail Whip.

Ooooh the regret already, but Noin, stay in one more round. It uses Tail Whip again. Okay, good, should be golden. Hee. Golden. Goldeen.

It misses Supersonic, and Allenby finishes it off.

The most stressful battle without any HP going down ever.

Noin grows to 17, Allenby hits 23. So. So so so.

I’m allowed to use guides, but I’m not at the point of being willing to look up pokemon and levels for significant fights. Obviously if this takes a few attempts, I’ll have my personal record of what everyone has, but that’s me experiencing it, not checking a guide.

Misty does have a Starmie. It does have Water Pulse. It will Confuse my pokemon. These are my memories. I think she also has a Staryu, but I’m drawing a blank on anything else. I have one Persim Berry. It can be held to cure confusion. Allenby, since Allenby will. likely be stuck with the Starmie, will carry the Persim Berry.

Noin will be in front, to gain whatever she can from this possible last stand.

I AM SCARED AND UNCOMFORTABLE.

Level 18 Staryu up first. Oki doki. Even better, it starts with Harden. Please don’t stop doing that please. ...Oh, okay. It uses Water Pulse. But it doesn’t confuse Noin! One more Absorb and the Staryu will even be gone!

Misty uses a Super Potion.

That’s fine, better here than on the Starmie, and it puts Noin back up at full health. The only thing I worry about is giving the Water Pulse more times to confuse.

Noin does it!

And it’s time for the Starmie.

To my horror.

I think it makes the most sense to have Noin stay in and try to poison it. Which sounds valid. Except poisoning it at this level takes PoisonPowder. Let me tell you my trust level. ...Additionally, the Starmie is level 21. Noin is a level 17 Oddish. She is very small.

Why did I do this to myself.

Holy shit ow. Noin gets taken down to 19 HP by Swift, and she needs to get out now. So time for the showdown. Allenby versus Starmie.

Allenby down to 13 from Water Pulse. Oh no.

Okay. So the name of the game is giving Allenby Potions while Poison does damage. I got. Four left.

lol at Water Pulse finally getting a confusion. After it doesn’t matter. How do I always end up wasting items with the best of intentions?

Look at this shit.

Look at it.

I’m going to cry.

I never want to do this again. Ow my heart.

I’m gonna use my winnings and buy Potions.

Time to fight the thieving Rocket Grunt who actually does something with his time. His level 17 Machop can go to Allenby. Heero, be a hero and take out the level 17 Drowzee.

I hate Hypnosis. I hate Cerulean. I hate everything about my choices that have led me here.

To Vermilion, where nothing will be better! Route 5 pick. Already have a Pidgey. Already have an Oddish. Still already have a Pidgey. Still already have an Oddish.

Meowth! I don’t have one of those! Caught! You can be Quatre!

Heero time. Against a level 16 Weedle. Allenby can take the next level 16 Weedle. Heero back in for the level 16 Caterpie.

Bug Catcher Elijah has a level 20 Butterfree. Because he’s a showoff. The showoff paralyzes Heero and seeks to confuse her. Oh my fucking gosh Heero please just move.

Heero you made me walk all the way back to Cerulean for healing. Heero.

Picknicker Isabelle has three pokemon. Level 16 Pidgey first. And second. And third. I have to switch out to Allenby because Heero’s accuracy is just that bad from Sand Attack. And the Pidgeys keep getting critical hits.

BACK TO CERULEAN.

Camper bringing the level 16 Spearow. And level 16 Raticate. Yes, I missed his name. No, I do not care.

This is not a useful item for this run. I will do no fishing unless it is with a Super Rod.

Picknicker Nancy! Watcha got? A level 16 Rattata. A level 16 Pikachu.

Camper Ricky is up next.

Camper Ricky.

Why the fuck do you have a level 20 Squirtle.

Noooiiiinnnn...

Route 6, let’s catch you a thing.

Have Oddish. Have Oddish. Have Meowth. Have Pidgey. Have Pidgey.

Screw it, this is a fishing or Surfing route when I finally get to that point. Route 11, what say you?

Drowzee. That works. Wu is your name now.

Youngster Eddie interrupts our walk back to Vermilion (which we finally got to) to fight us with a level 21 Ekans. ...Heero, stop getting fucking paralyzed, I beg of you. Heero. Please.

The one foregone conclusion of this gen.

Maybe.

Just maybe.

Dugtrio?

That. Yeah, okay, sure.

Allenby, get in before Dig hits.

Caught. Your name can be... Ismail.

So here’s the question. Do I level up Diglett for Surge, or continue the way of maxing out trusted team members because I have limited experience to add up? I like Diglett, so Ismail gets to be on the team instead of the box, but I think really it makes the most sense to focus primarily on Heero and Allenby for now.

But I’m not exactly an expert on this. Speedrunner not found. So.

Idfk, Heero’s up front. Level 19 Sandshrew means Noin. Level 19 Zubat brings us back to Heero.

Next up is Gamer Jasper, and I would almost bet money that his title in the actual gen one games was Gambler. He’s got a level 18 Bellsprout. Also a level 18 Oddish. Food for Heero.

Following is Gamer Dirk. He has a level 18 Voltorb. Heero hits level 23! Dirk also has a level 18 Magnemite. But they’re Steel now, so no matter for the unstoppable Heero.

Gamer Darian, what you got? Level 18 Growlithe. See, this is where Ground Type could come in handy. But I remain meh. Actually, no, I’ll give Ismail the final hit. ...No, because Growlithe Roars out Ismail and drags out Allenby. Level 18 Vulpix next. Go Heero. ...Vulpix Roars, and then out comes Allenby. Sigh.

Level 18 male Nidoran. Ismail, want a shot? Oh well, this is Heero’s show for now. Even against the level 18 Nidorino. This whole section of the game is just begging you to use Dig. Well, I refuse.

Engineer Bernie in with the level 18 Magnemite. All two of them. Plus a level 18 Magneton. Thanks for the exp.

Engineer Braxton. How come so many people in this field share a role and the first letter of their name? Anyway, he has a level 21 Magnemite. Bringing Heero up to level 25.

Gamer Hugo. Breaking up the pattern with a Poliwag! Noin! Hugo’s also got a level 18 Horsea. Noin, congrats on having stuff to do.

Youngster Yasu. Geez, this makes me want to stop keeping record of all the trainers. When everything finally goes wrong, it’ll be helpful, but at the moment, yeesh. The youngster’s got a level 17 Rattata. Two of them, even. Followed by a Raticate that belongs to Allenby.

I think... am I finally done with all the trainers here? Huzzah!

Dun dun DUN.

Wait, crud, no. I have to go through Diglett’s Cave and out to see if anyone on that side wants to fight. One moment.

Uh oh.

Uh.

Uh. Crap.

Okay, I made it work. I caught the Diglett. It’s unusable, and I’ll release it as soon as I can, but no exp for anyone.

I only have a Great Ball in my bag, so I can’t do that again. Well I can. But. Ugh. Whatever, if it comes up, it comes up. I apparently need to buy Repels. All this and no trainers at the end. Geez. Back to the ship.

Fucker.

I used Scratch to try and injure another Diglett with Arena Trap, so I could use my Great Ball, and then Heero got a crit. 173 exp I was not supposed to get.

Oh no.

THIS FUCKING POKEMON AND ITS FUCKING ABILITY.

I am sad. ;-;

Heero lived, though.

And yay. Another Diglett we caught.

Made it back to Vermilion. The Digletts have been freed. Now I have to go buy poke balls. Because I’m out. Diglett, why. I like you. Why do you insist on me hating you with all my heart.

Anyway back to the boat.

Let’s. Let’s just. Stop here. For now.