#VERY quick edit I was making something else but I liked this picture so much
Photo
Introducing Germany’s starboy number 47 Mick Schumacher
#mick schumacher#VERY quick edit I was making something else but I liked this picture so much#10/10 would put the poster up if this was world cup 2010!#nadia's things#my goal today was to make something and i did so successful saturday i guess!#me constantly chanting to myself: football! au! football! au!#design things
226 notes
·
View notes
Text
AFAB!GOJO X MALE!READER
Hello this is just a shitpost before I go to sleep I’ll edit everything in the morning! Enjoy
NASTYYY SMUT!!!! AND VERY MEAN READER! AND CAR SEX I HOPE YOU GUYS GET THE PICTURE OF THE POSITION I SWEAR ILL EDIT IT TM!
Satoru sleeps with his fair share of women and men, even going as far as to spend the night to satisfy their need for something romantic, but by morning he’s out the door, not caring what happens to said person, he let it be known from the start all he wanted was a quick fuck. Not his fault they confused it for something else.
People around campus who have slept with Gojo can say the night is full of bliss but the morning they’re left with an empty feeling, he really is the best and the worst thing to happen.
So why does Satoru find himself infatuated with you? You who treats him like he’s nothing but an eyesore, it drives him crazy when you deny his advances, no one’s ever denied him: he’s just too pretty for that! You’d have to be crazy to not want to lay with him! Borderline insane! But you, you spark something within him, a primal lust.
When he finally does get you to come around you’re mean, extremely mean: parking behind an abandoned building and position satoru to where the back seat door is open with you standing outside and him laying against the seat with his lower body out the door, it’s super cold out tonight and he regrets wearing the thinnest shorts with no underwear underneath, but all the better to feel the thick outline of your cock as you press yourself against his folds.
“No panties? You’re so gross Toru.” You grumble out whilst looking at his already wet cunt, your fingers dip in and he groans, he likes the thickness of your fingers it makes stretching him out to be so much easier, one fingers turns into two then that turns into three. When you deem him good enough for you, he hears your belt clinking and a loud sigh departing from your lips.
You pull his hair and angle his head back: “You’re average at best Toru, you should be happy I even gave someone as desperate as you a chance, remember I’m only doing this out of pity” you grunt out, Satoru has no feelings for you but he feels his heart clench and disperse at your words. You let him go to focus on lining your fat cock up with his hole, the stretch stings to him, what you “lack” in length you really make up for thickness, most likely the thickest he’s ever taken, you don’t offer him any reassurance when your cock pushes deeper and deeper.
Till you finally bottom out inside, you take a quick pause to admire him, you can’t see his face but already you knew his lips are bitten red, most likely on the verge of crying, you’re so incredibly mean.
You begin to move your hips, starting off slowly, you make sure to pull all the way out and slide right back in, eventually you start slamming into him roughly, uncaring of his startled gasps as he struggles to adjust, your cock feels so good, hitting so deeply inside of him, it’s really a different story when you find his sweet spot and press the tip of your cock against it.
His legs lock inwards, breathing hard into the seat, “This it Satoru?” He can hear the devilish smirk hidden in your voice, you continue to slam your hips against him angling downwards. “so..good” he had managed to slur out. He finds himself trying to paw away from his impending orgasm, he knows it’s gonna ache, knows it’s gonna also feel blissful, your hands grip his waist tighter, meaning to leave ugly bruises later. Pounding into him deep strokes makes him crazy, to add fuel to the fire your hands reach down and circle his clit rough, this action pushes Satoru over the edge and his pussy spasms around you.
He damn near screams, fingers digging deep into your seat, you fuck him through his orgasm, not long after you follow right after him, not even bothering to pull out, he doesn’t ask you to either.
Satoru slumps against your seat, panting and trying his hardest not to fall asleep, he feels your fingers spreading his pussy to admire your work of art.
“Your friend? What’s his name…? You know the pretty one with the long black hair?” Satoru feels his heart drop.
#zsworks#gojo x reader#gojo x you#gojo x male reader#satoru x reader#satoru smut#satoru x male reader#gojo smut#afab gojo#afab Gojo x male reader
577 notes
·
View notes
Text
The first batch of pictures for Amoré's character journal are here! Also I have been so super sick that I've literally had nothing to do but to work on this for like almost 2 weeks so...
The cover to cover tour officially starts here. All I can say about the front & back is that I lament my lack of experience with my Cricut when I made these decals. I only had 2 "fun" colors to work with at the time & I was still getting comfortable drawing in Procreate, so my silhouette art leaves a lot to be desired compared to some stuff I've made recently. I also found it's incredibly easy to burn this leather book.
But she's volume one, everything with her is a learning experience, & I realized as much as it helps to have a mini heat press for tight corners & small spaces, the cloth barrier they suggest you use between the vinyl & the iron tends to make things harder to press on this scale. So instead I gotta quickly tap straight on the transfer film & hope I don't burn anything around it :(´◦ω◦｀):ﾟﾟ
So at the risk of thoroughly exposing my inner theater kid, Amoré set the precedent with how I went forward creating campaign characters. I started off collecting 5 songs to make a mini story arc (almost like a show choir set list 🙃) that helps me figure out an outline for the kind of story I wanna give them.
Somehow Amoré ended up with a truly horrendous blend of rock & theatre. Absolutely incredibe. No wonder she's always such a dramatic bitch.
It was a lot easier to go in & add little decals around these lyrics. I'm definitely cursed with the Too Much™ gene, but I enjoy the little pops of color they give ✨ plus it justifies me hoarding all these vinyl scraps printing stuff this small lol.
Stat sheet!
In all honesty, as my first character I had no fucking clue what I was doing when I placed these & if I could go back & change one thing I'd probably swap her Intelligence & her Wisdom. She’s definitely more people smart than book smart.
But everything else is...very accurate. She has all the upper body strength of a chicken nugget. Plus on top of the (already) negative I traded disadvantage on everything DEX for magic crystal shoes that can be periodically harvested. Just a way for her to carry around the family fortune without actually having to return to the vault✨
For something that started so average, her CON became a monster & always comes in clutch for her alcohol tolerance. I've played variations of her across a few different one shots & I always manage to roll well for anything alcohol related. The dice do respect a bit 🤣
Spells on the other hand, I floundered with a lot at first because we’re not a combat heavy game, but then I found Chaos Bolt & that was that. It’s essentially Amoré in spell form & I’ve had a ton of fun with it over the years. Also Mage Armor cuz my girl is SO DISTRESSINGLY SQUISHY.
Cantrips were more or less a bit of a toss up. Message was fun for the sheer idea of her using it to talk shit during social events without being caught. But aside from Light serving fun backstory purposes the other 3 are kinda just what looked fun ¯\_(ツ)_/¯ unless you count the idea that she would absolutely delight in zapping handshakes.
From there, I wanted to extend the world map made by our wonderful DM @cappierong into a full scroll. Ya know, for the aesthetic ✨
Our campaign started in Civania, where Amoré's main Estate is. I just wanted a quick mock up to reference, so I edited a preexisting picture I found that checked all the boxes (large, on a plateau, accessible only by bridge) and then absolutely smothered it in flowers.
But anyways... This is primarily where Diana & Amoré grew up together in their decade of backstory ✨
There was probably waaaay to much back & forth trying to keep the continuity between stuff I've already drawn & this big reference. But I think it turned out pretty ok? Not like if I make a mistake anyone will really know lol.
Scaling was also another big issue I had, & I moments where I thought something was too big I just kinda handwaved it away like "ehhhhh she's from a stupid rich family." But now I have a NEED to draw baby Diana & Amoré around like, the statue gardens or something cuz I feel like certain parts of this place are definitely ominous 👀 especially for children...
And lastly we have the back cover & the High Noble political relationship map! I normally have this closer to the front but for layout purposes it'll be here. I kinda feel like I need to do more for the decoration of it but I can’t think of anything else to add at the moment.
Sam if u read that no you didn't.
But now! Other than a family portrait that I've always wanted to draw, I think I'm ready to move onto the art for Season 1 : Arc 2. It's a pretty hefty amount of art in comparison to others, so I gotta get busy. Especially since I think I'm gonna have to draw a few comics *sobs*
If you made it this far, thanks so much for reading! I'm always excited to talk out our little idiots so thanks for indulging me ❀(*´▽`*)❀
#duo rong#dungeons and dragons#dnd character scrapbook#duo chronicles#amore bellridge#diana blackthorn if you squint#dnd#dnd character#dnd pc#dnd oc#character creation#character study(?)#dnd backstory#season 1#dnd art#dnd campaign#campaign art
33 notes
·
View notes
Text
2023 writing gif-making round up
Rules (adapted for fic, gifs, art, etc.): Share what you made this year! It can be works you posted to Ao3, Wattpad, Tumblr, or anywhere else! You can share everything you made or just the projects you're most excited about.
tagged by @victoriaspriing thank you!!!
2024 is just around the corner, so unbelievable to me. it feels like no time has passed since the beginning of 2023. i was thinking, hm it doesn’t feel like i’ve made many gifs this year, but then i went looking back at all my favorite gifsets i made and i was pleasantly surprised to see quite a significant amount. my goal for 2024 is to create more gifsets, to share with the fandom and most importantly to let the creativity flow. okay, but i’m here to reflect on my gifsets from this year, so let’s get into that shall we? i’ll share some fun statistics and then my top 5 gifsets from this year, and totally copying joana here but i’ll also give a shoutout to my favorite creators who not only inspire me but make this fandom wonderful with their creations <3
fun statistics
in total i made 188 gifsets in 2023
99 are about louis (*pretends to be shocked*)
50 are about harry
10 are larry
4 are ot5
1 about samia
1 about soyoon
the rest are 911 lone star, stranger things, only friends and first kill
28 (!!!) are elaborate gifsets
44 are or include purple
4 are about faith in the future
top 5 gifsets (in no particular order)
louis birthday gifset this has to be my favorite gifset i’ve made this year. i had so much fun making it, from trying a different color i’m not used to, to using new effects i hadn’t had the chance to try. everything came out as i had envisioned and it makes me so happy. i gotta say by the end of it i was tired. i think i spent a total of 10 hours on it, but it was so worth it
faith in the future anniversary gifset okay so this one was originally going to be blue and yellow, but the first gif (the one with the tv) wasn’t looking good, so i just did what i do best, make it purple and yellow. i’m glad i did, because not only do i love that combo, but i think it looks great. i had this vague concept of what i wanted to do. i knew i definitely wanted to include the spotify template. from there i just did what i felt in the moment. the edit with the tracklist was originally going to be in the form of a google search, but it looked so bad, so i just went for something more simple, which ended up looking so much better. the last edit was the second to last one. i was thinking, how can i include fitfwt into it? that’s when i realized i had a combination of one gifset, one edit, one gifset and one gifset, so i added one edit in the middle of the last two gifsets to create that pattern. i took my favorite louis picture from tour and just did a quick edit. with this one, less was better, and i’m very proud of how it came out
hlholidayexchange gifset i absolutely adore this one. the prompt was anything with 2014 larry. i had a very clear concept for this one. polaroids showing them together. while looking for videos i just gravitated towards their night changes performance, especially the prince and little one with the cheekbones, so that’s what i did. i was apprehensive about the blending, as it’s something i struggle with, but personally i think i did good. there’s always room for improvement, but i’m satisfied with it. the colors came to me right at the end, a combination of some of my favorite colors that are close together in the color wheel, so they look good together. it’s simple, but effective :)
louis tomlinson tinder this one was so fun to make. i especially loved coming up with hobbies and activities that describe louis. i knew i wanted to include numerology because this boy is obsessed with numbers and you can’t tell me he isn’t into numerology. as for the matches, i included his husband people who he’s potentially had a crush on based on interactions and interviews. i also love how the colors came out, i think it looks very pretty
harry’s house anniversary i love this one so much. i had a very clear concept of what i wanted to do. the cutout of the pictures plus the lyrics looked so much fun and i had a great time putting it together, and i just love the spotify template. i think everything about it is very pretty. the colors, the scenes, all of it. the only thing that makes me sad is how the video for daylight came out way later so i couldn’t include it, but other than that i love it so so much
bonus!!! this is louis tomlinson a very fun, very pleasant edit. i remember just wanting to do a gifset highlighting some aspects of louis and his career. i wanted something semi simple and visually appealing, so i did the google search overlay and from there just basic layouts. i had a lot of fun making it
shoutout to my faves!!!
@delicatepointofview @heroeddiemunson @wylanvannecks @505louis @anxiouspunk @ricky-olson @vinmauro @raypakorn @victoriaspriing @birthdaysentiment @robin-buckleys @perrieedwards @margarethcarter @neil-patrick @bobbiedebruyn @braverytattoos @justthinkingaboutlouis @loustyles @kiwikiwiandkiwi @finexbright @zourried @seatawinans @mcbride @jdeanmorgan @morgana-pendragon @niccolofares @sci-fi @benoitblanc @saw-x @binariesuns @oliviairodrigo @annacoleman @aliecenthightower @nelsonnicholas @curlyhairedprince @padme-amidala
sorry if i’m forgetting anyone. if you’re a gifmaker assume i love your gifs. tagging the people above and anyone else who happens to see this and wants to do it. no pressure!!!
39 notes
·
View notes
Text
Constant Repeat | Part 7
Summary: Having worked at Focus Creeps for a year, Ella knows that as a production assistant and part of the crew, there’s one important rule: don’t interact with the talent unless it’s needed. But once she meets Arctic Monkeys, and the recording of the music videos for their upcoming fourth studio album starts, the band seem to become her exception. Not only because they treat her more like a friend than just someone else they’re working with but when Alex continuously makes her blush with his flirting, so enthralled by her that he forgets he’s got a girlfriend, Ella finds herself growing closer to him. As videos are filmed, wrapped and edited, the friendship lines become blurry. Situations unfold, secrets are told and others are kept under lock and key, but how long can Alex and Ella endure being stuck in each other’s minds on constant repeat.
Word Count: 16.8k
Story Warnings: Throughout this series there will be suggestive talk, jealousy, cheating, alcohol and drug use, angst, smut.
A/N: Happy Friday my lovelies! This is probably one of my favorite chapters and you'll know why by the end of it. Seeing your reactions to this one is gonna be a wonderful birthday gift hahaha, so I'm very excited to see what you think of it!! Enjoy xx
Masterlist
Part 1 | Part 2 | Part 3 | Part 4 | Part 5 | Part 6 | Part 8 | Part 9 | Part 10 | Part 11 | Part 12 |
✦✧✦✧✦✧✦✧✦✧✦✧
It was the start of the second week of the year and Matt had just arrived in Los Angeles. Ella had picked Breana up early to go and pick him up from the airport, and she had acted like the couple's reunion hadn't made her tear up. She truly loved them both so much, even if they were a multiplied menace together.
The three went to have breakfast, with Julian joining them shortly after they had been seated. It was a cute little bakery that had some of the best pastries and coffee Ella had ever had, she went there so often that she was recognized by the staff.
"So how were the holidays?" Ella let her cup of tea rest on the table softly to give the drummer her whole attention, hoping to hear only wonderful things about the holiday season in his hometown.
Matt just shrugged, knowing it had been good but like usual, "Really good, nothing too interesting. Got to spend time with my mum and dad, the lads..." But he trailed off, remembering his grand discovery. "Well..." He started with bubbling excitement but when he realized Julian was there, and Ella was very much not single, he decided against telling her. It would only bring trouble. "No, yeah, nothing interesting."
Ella chuckled, sarcastically replying, "Don't sound so sure there."
"Sorry, I thought something worth telling had happened but it's nothing." It was something, but he just couldn't say it. It was a bad idea. "Hope you spoiled this one for me during the holidays." Matt was quick to change the subject, hugging his girlfriend into his side.
Ella smirked, "Surely, I did. I'm sure Julian got a bit jealous over how much time I was spending with her rather than with him."
"These two right?" Matt asked jokingly, with a facial expression that screamed 'can you believe them?'
Julian shook his head, "They're unbelievable."
"Don't go complaining much, most of the time we spend together is when we take those pictures you two love so much." Bre fought, raising her finger up in the air and pointing at both the men accusingly.
Matt lifted his hands up, "Right, right."
Ella wanted to taunt the drummer some more so she added, "Don't show him the pictures from the last session we had, make him beg for them."
"Jesus Christ," Matt scoffed playfully, "Does she always have you begging, mate?"
Ella turned her gaze to Julian, scowling at him. "You will not disclose that information."
"I won't," Julian agreed but then he turned to Matt and mouthed, "Sometimes."
Bre smirked and Matt laughed, Ella smacked Julian's hand which was resting on top of her thigh. The two boys were nothing but trouble.
The next seven days had been just like that, pure banter coming from the drummer, mainly targeted at Ella. He just couldn't hold himself back from teasing her, it was funny seeing her glaring at him all annoyed.
Ella had spent most of the days third wheeling for Bre and Matt, but she truly didn't mind. Julian had started the year with full force, work taking him away most of the week but she wouldn't complain, not when he enjoyed what he did so much and he still made sure to text her sweet things and updates about his whereabouts throughout the day. He had promised her to spend the weekends he had free with her and that's exactly what they had done the weekend before the rest of the band was due to arrive.
When Monday morning arrived, she was ecstatic to go back into the rhythm of things at the studio but much more excited to have her friends back. She was determined to start the year well, having fully let go of any grudges she had from her past with Alex and with her mind set on having things be the way they had been before, when they first had met.
She gave them all a tight hug when she had gotten to Rancho de la Luna.
"How's everything been?" Ella asked them all, and they all replied positively with smiles on their faces. They were brief at telling her how the holidays had been but it all sounded so nice, she was happy for them.
She'd smiled back at them and, once inside, they all rolled right back into the groove of things.
About three hours into the time they'd been there, James had gotten sent the final version of a song they'd done in their last week in LA. They had all agreed in wanting to hear it so James plugged his laptop to the audio system and played it.
The drums quickly drowned the room and then joined the bass which made the room vibrate, the guitar soon came after and Ella was already obsessed with the song.
She hadn't been prepared when Alex's sultry voice started singing, but hearing the first word be the name Arabella got her thinking about how this song was a love song for Arielle.
She cooed internally, thinking about how adorable Alex was for that.
When it got to the chorus, she'd gotten excited over hearing their own version of the 'War Pigs' guitar riff. She'd started beaming at the music she was listening to.
She was slightly confused about the first line of the second verse, feeling oddly personally addressed but it just had to be her brain trying to make shit about herself. She even ignored the fact that the chorus lyrics reminded her of when they were driving down San Diego's coast on the way to that restaurant they visited after Belmont Park.
But when the bridge started and it brought back those memories with each line, she couldn't help her smile faltering, falling down until it completely disappeared. She couldn't believe what she had just heard, her thoughts too scattered to even gush over the stunning guitar solo that was bouncing off the walls by the end.
Ella only snapped back to reality when the last chord of the guitar died inside the room and the lads started eagerly talking about the song and how it had ended up sounding. She was too stunned to speak, having trouble letting the words roll off her tongue when Jamie asked her if she'd liked it.
Forcing herself to smile, Ella nodded, "Oh, yeah, you absolutely killed that Black Sabbath guitar riff." Her gaze was swimming around the room but trying her hardest to keep it from falling on Alex's. "What's the name of this one?" She asked just to make sure.
"Arabella." Jamie replied with a soft grin and she could only nod.
She was so confused, her steps slow as she went back to the settee and focused again on replying to emails but as the minutes passed and the letters on the screen turned into one single blob of unreadable imagery, she decided she needed a breather.
She grabbed her cigarettes and lighter and exited the place. Her shaky legs were barely able to carry her up to where her bike was parked. She plopped down on it, sighing with her head still scrambled. What the fuck? The whiplash she'd gotten from that song was enough to make her want to take the day off.
So much for wanting things to go back to normal.
She sat there, with the sun keeping her warm despite the chilly winds of January, smoking until she felt better. It was on her third cigarette that she had tried to turn the situation around in her head—Maybe he just wrote it a long while ago, she convinced herself and the more she said it, the more it became more factual.
She nodded as she threw the dying bud and stepped on it—It will be the only one about me, he's happy and in love with Arielle.
That's the one thought she kept on loop as she walked back in, going to the kitchen and pouring herself a shot of the studio's brand of tequila. She fucking needed it.
Ella was startled when she left the shot glass with a thud on the kitchen counter and Matt had seen her swallow the gulp of alcohol, "Oi!" He'd exclaimed, "We starting the party early today?" The clock showed a pitiful 12:23pm which made her sigh heavily—it was gonna be such a long day for her.
"Be my guest." Her voice didn't sound inviting at all as she poured a shot for her friend.
Matt frowned at her, "Well if you're gonna be the one starting the party, you should come alive a bit. Damn."
"Piss off." She muttered, no energy left at all to deal with Matt's teasing.
He snorted, "You hated the song that much?"
She shook her head, "No. It was... it was good, just–" She started, but she had to bite her tongue not to spill it out to Matt. "When did you record that one? After I was gone?"
He downed the alcohol without much of a reaction to the taste, "Yeah, we made it pretty quickly actually. I think it might be one of the best and fastest songs we've done for this record so far."
Ella hummed, not knowing what to do with that information. She just turned to the sink to wash the glass and then followed Matt back to the recording room.
When she'd walked through the door, it was like no one had realized how much the song had affected her. Alex was sitting in a chair with a guitar in his hand, next to James and Nick who were also in their own chairs but in front of the massive mixing console.
Their backs were facing her, and she was grateful for that—she was sure her every thought was written all over her face.
She knew she wasn't brave enough to ask Alex about it, to confront him or get any reasoning from him, so she just decided to ignore the whole situation. She had wanted the whole recording period to go smoothly and drama free, but she now knew there was never gonna be a dull moment as long as she was around the band.
Taking a deep breath she reminded herself of her plan of action, just ignore it. And just like that she forced herself to resume sorting through emails, hearing Alex mumbling along a melody he was playing on the guitar.
Isn't it hard to make up your mind
When you're losing and your fuse is fireside?
She heard them celebrate at the sudden composition of the lines, encouraging Alex to go over it again and see if he could come up with anything else. His brain was going a thousand miles per hour, trying to find the perfect words to rhyme for the first part of the verse he was coming up with.
After a few tries he knew which configuration of lines he'd liked better, settling for:
I'm not sure if I should show you what I've found
Has it gone for good, or is it coming back around?
Isn't it hard to make up your mind
When you're losing and your fuse is fireside?
James nodded eagerly, "That's it. That's it mate." he patted Alex's shoulder proudly, "Sounds like a good chorus actually, we can make it one."
Alex and Nick nodded, having worked with James so many times before meant that the band trusted him fully to take out the full potential of whatever they'd come up with.
That's how that day, Ella had gotten back home humming the melody of the song. She dropped her bag on her sofa and ran to her room to call Breana.
She'd told her all about it, trying her hardest not to mess up the order of the lyrics she could remember and asked the model if she was overreacting, to which Bre firmly said no, agreeing that it was something she'd freak out over too.
Breana had helped her settle adding, "He's a musician though, honey, they all do that. Don't be surprised if there's another one there about you."
Ella groaned, "I rather not. I hope Arielle doesn't even notice about this one." She stayed quiet for a few seconds before she whined in dismay, "Why did he have to go and record a song about me when he has a fucking girlfriend?!"
Breana giggled on the other side, "'Cause he's a man, babe."
Ella sighed, "Fucks sake."
"He could've been more discreet though, don't you think?" Bre added, amused. "He literally has your name in the title of it."
Ella whined like she was in pain, "Why are you making it worse?"
A hard laugh was what she got as a response, "And there's also some of Arielle's name there but that's purely to fool everyone."
Ella rubbed her temples, tired. "I just hope they scrap it from the final record, they told me they had recorded some more songs in London back then along with 'R U Mine?' and 'Electricity' so I'm crossing my fingers they do the same for this one."
"Hopefully, yeah." Her best friend agreed, "Just, don't lose your mind about this okay? If there's any trouble with his girlfriend, it's all his fault."
"I will try my hardest. The worst part is that the song is good..." She was truly in dismay but then she heard the muffled sound of Breana's doorbell through the phone and she laughed, knowing exactly who that was meant to be, "Right, have a fun night hun."
Bre giggled, the sound filled with joy, "I will. Love you! Bye!"
"Love you too, bye!"
The line died, and Ella sighed. What had she done in her past life to deserve this? She was so stressed about the whole thing, she was close to start pulling her hair out.
But then her phone rang and when she saw it was her boyfriend, she felt like she could escape the situation for a bit. Hearing Julian's voice was a breath of fresh air, and him telling her he was coming over was like everything had lifted off her shoulders.
What would she do without him?
✦✧✦✧✦✧✦✧✦✧✦✧
Julian having four days free to spend with Ella was the cure to it all. The next few days at the studio had gone by like a breeze when she knew she would be coming back home to him.
But the day she'd come back home from the studio to kiss him goodbye, since he was leaving for a week to work in San Francisco, it had all gone to shit.
Every bit of calmness that Julian had given her after the 'Arabella' situation was thrown out the window when none other than Arielle called her in despair.
"Hi Arielle! How are you?" Ella had asked her in a chipper tone but her whole face fell when she heard the model sniffling on the other side of the call.
"Hi Ellie, not that well to be completely honest."
Ella was completely confused, she wasn't close enough to Arielle to receive a phone call from her during a low moment but that didn't mean she wasn't going to be kind to her and help in any way if she could. "I'm so sorry, is everything okay? Anything I can do for you?"
"I was wondering if you knew anything–" Arielle started but her voice broke and Ella's heart hurt for her, "I saw you were with the guys at the studio already," She remembered the picture she'd posted the day before of the lads just doing their thing, scattered around in the studio.
Ella had no idea what this all was about but what she didn't expect was the model suddenly asking, "How's Alex?"
Her frown got impossibly deeper after that, "Alex? What do you–"
"We broke up." Arielle was quick to say like the words were burning her tongue, "Well, he broke up with me."
Ella pouted to herself, feeling a wave of sadness for the model but the confusion was still very much there because Alex seemed so okay at the studio. "I'm so sorry to hear that, Arielle. I had no idea. I don't think anyone knows... No one mentioned a thing at the studio."
Arielle covered a sob with her hand, heart breaking a bit more at seeing that apparently he hadn't told a single person about it, Matt had texted her earlier asking her if she was joining them anytime soon and that had been a cruel reminder of what had happened, hence why she had decided to call Ella.
"Right." She replied defeated, "I had hoped he'd told you about it, just so I could get some answers."
"What do you mean?" Ella's confusion grew every time Arielle said something else.
"It's just– He broke up with me out of nowhere, Ella." The model took a deep shaky breath and continued, "Can I tell you something in confidence? It's gonna be TMI but I–"
Ella nodded despite knowing Arielle couldn't see her, "'Course you can, it's okay."
But Ella wasn't prepared for what she would get in return, "I'm so sorry, this is so TMI but I'm just baffled," She started again as if she was giving Ella the chance to take it back but at the silence, she sighed, "The night before, Ella, I swear we had the best sex we'd had in months. He fucked me dumb, telling me how gorgeous I was over and over. He called me darling! He's never used that for me before, I–. Fuck, I'm just going crazy trying to understand this."
Ella was shocked. Not only to have to be hearing this but she truly wouldn't have suspected a thing from Alex's behavior—and she was sure the lads didn't know either because only a few days ago Jamie had made a joke and teased him about the singer's girlfriend to which Alex only had replied with a short chuckle.
She decided to ignore the details Arielle had given her, which weren't many but the fact that Alex had called Arielle darling for the first time in that moment had Ella shifting in her place uncomfortably.
"Arielle, I'm so sorry. I genuinely had no idea, he seemed so normal." She sighed, biting on her thumb. "Jamie mentioned you a few days ago, to tease him and he didn't say a thing. He just laughed and kept doing whatever he was doing."
"It's okay Ellie, I guess I will always wonder what happened..." The model sounded so defeated but she continued telling Ella what had happened that last day, "The next morning he made me breakfast and everything, and in the middle of it he just said he couldn't keep our relationship going. Just like that." A curt chuckle came from Arielle, "He almost said that 'it's not you, it's me' bullshit."
Ella winced, "Oh fuck that..."
Arielle could only hum in agreement and then remembered her poor timing, "Sorry Ella, I probably just interrupted something."
"No, no. Was about to go to bed. Don't you worry Ari, truly." Ella consoled her, "We could go out this weekend? To drink and dance it all away? Julian just left for work and I'll be alone for a week, I'm sure Bre will be down for a girls night." Yes, Alex was her friend but Arielle was one as well so Ella wasn't choosing any sides and if there was anything she could do to help Arielle feel better then she'd do it.
Arielle smiled, silent tears rolling down her cheeks at Ella's kindness. "I would yeah, just send me a text and I'll go wherever."
"Sure. Now go dry those tears hun, he doesn't deserve them."
Arielle giggled, wiping her cheeks. "Thank you, Ellie. Have a goodnight."
"You too Arielle, can't wait to hug you soon. Goodnight."
Fucking hell.
Ella had no idea what the fuck had just happened but she'd decide to ignore it for as long as she could. She needed to relax.
So she rolled a joint, and started smoking out in her backyard. In between puffs, she decided to call Breana and quickly tell her everything, also make sure she was in on going out with Arielle two days from then.
Needless to say, retelling everything had left her even more confused and she ignored the silence on Breana's side when she mentioned his use of the pet name for Arielle. In the back of her mind, Ella knew just what her best friend was thinking but she didn't want to give that another thought.
The next day, Ella had been extra observant, her eyes on Alex at all times and by the end of the day, she was fully intrigued.
She'd bitten her tongue all day, waiting for the perfect moment to bring it up but when they were all leaving and she hadn't had a chance to talk to him alone, she basically baited him into staying a bit longer before they left.
Ella asked him for a cigarette, knowing damn well that would make him stay to have one with her. Two minutes had passed of them smoking as they watched the sun die on the horizon, when she gained the courage to ask.
"How's Arielle? Haven't seen her in a while." In her mind it made more sense to go straight to the point, like ripping a bandaid.
What she hadn't expected is for him to hide behind an inquiry of his own, "How's Julian?"
She chuckled quietly to herself, someone's defensive. "He went to San Francisco yesterday night, he's doing a weeklong shoot over there for some city event." And then she turned to him with an eyebrow raised, challenging him to respond to her question.
Alex barely looked at her then, he was afraid that if he told Ella about his new relationship status while looking her in the eye he might beg with them for her to have him.
"We broke up." His statement was simple, not heartfelt at all—it sounded more like he said it fast to get it over and done with.
"Oh," She muttered, trying to contort her face in the best way so he didn't notice she already knew.
But Alex didn't even turn to look at her, he kept his gaze straight ahead of him and took a long drag of his cigarette.
"I'm sorry." She added, hating the suffocating silence.
The singer only shrugged though, "It's okay, just wasn't right anymore."
Her hum was low and quiet, Ella had no idea what to say. "Are you okay?"
He offered her a half smile, "Yeah, why?"
"I don't know, you just seem so normal. Do the guys know?"
"No, don't tell them." Alex silently begged her, "Matt's gonna try and set me up with someone, or worse he's gonna force me to go out on the pull– I can't be arsed."
Ella giggled, fully convinced Matt would. She offered her pinky finger, and Alex locked it with his—the 'death ramps' ring on her skin once again. "Promise."
When she was done with her cigarette, she discarded it on the ground. They hugged each other goodbye and he watched her as she left on her bike.
He shook his head, now that she knew he had no idea what to do with himself. Especially not when he still felt her pinky finger intertwined with his and his skin craved her at all times.
✦✧✦✧✦✧✦✧✦✧✦✧
Alex had seen Arielle's post that weekend, the three girls with tequila shots in hand and flipping the camera off.
He had no idea how that had happened, if it had been something planned before he'd told Ella about the breakup or if Ella had called Arielle and taken her out because of it. But he didn't care much, as long as they'd had fun then it would be fine by him—he thought it was kind of Ella and Bre to take Arielle out to distract her after everything.
Ella knew Alex had seen it, the look on his face was enough to know but she was glad to see he seemed completely fine about it. Maybe even happy, as the singer asked her subtly if she'd had fun, she nodded with a smile and added "Trying to power through the hangover though."
That day had been quite calm, the lads had focused on giving a few modifications to some of the songs they had been making and putting on a queue to finish later. Of course Ella was recording the whole process, she'd left the camera on the end of the table they were all sitting by so the angle had the camera catching perfectly what they were all doing.
They had gone back to 'Fireside', trying to make the verses work with the melody they'd been creating and she had been watching it all unfold from her usual place on the settee so she managed to catch Matt instantly when he went to disturb the footage she was getting.
"Oi! Matthew!" She called out after the drummer had stuck his face right in front of the lenses of the recording device, "Stop fucking with the footage."
Jamie had cackled loudly as he turned to point at Ella, "You've just said 'oi', you're officially spending too much time with us."
"Only because I'm getting paid for it." Ella joked with a straight face.
"Same here." added James, making Alex laugh beside him.
His chuckles were contagious, making the rest of the room erupt in laughter. Ella loved moments like these, it was just pure bliss for everyone around.
The hours were going by and the guys had reached the point where they had exhausted their brains too much over finding the perfect placements for the verses in the song, so they moved on to talking about random shit.
Ella had gotten a call from Julian in the middle of Matt telling his childhood antics and how he'd fake being ill to skip school, so she excused herself to go outside. It hadn't been a long call, just about ten minutes since it was all her boyfriend had gotten of free time while working.
When she'd gone back to the room, it was all a frenzy. They were arguing so loud, she grimaced at the change of volume compared to the crickets softly building up a choir outside as the night fell.
"What is going on?" She couldn't even make up what it was that they were talking about.
"Ella, how many instruments can you play?" Nick asked quickly.
The question was so sudden, she automatically let out a confused, "Huh?"
The bassist sighed, he wanted to prove a point, "How many instruments can you play?"
"None," She blushed as it was embarrassing to admit in a room full of musicians.
Matt turned fast to the bassist, "See! Told you."
Nick shook his head, "No, c'mon, you gotta at least know one. Even if it's simple."
The PA stayed quiet under their attentive stares, thinking about how she'd only really played one instrument consistently at a point in her life. "Xylophone." She mumbled to herself, somehow that was even more embarrassing to her than saying she didn't know how to play a single instrument.
"What?" Jamie asked since he was the closest to her and not even him had been able to hear correctly.
She raised her volume enough for them to hear her, "The damn xylophone."
Matt had laughed out loud, whereas the rest of the band had smiled amused at her. She rolled her eyes at their reactions, the only one she liked at the moment was James who was smiling at her understanding how annoying they could be.
Nick turned back to Matt and brought their argument back up, "See! At least one."
Matt refused to accept his defeat, "Not agreeing with you until she plays it. She can say she knows but she might not."
Ella sighed exasperated, "Why would I lie dumbass? That'd be even worse. If you find me a glockenspiel then I'll play it for you, dick."
Matt stood up and went to find the percussion instrument not before telling her, "You're on it." as he walked past her.
Five minutes later, she was sitting in front of a coffee table where the thirty note glockenspiel rested. She had two little wooden mallets, one on each hand, and she started getting nervous under the gaze of all the boys.
"I feel like I'm back on fucking eight grade about to perform for father's day, Jesus Christ."
Matt was ready to take the piss out of her so he encouraged her, "Go on then."
She'd rolled her eyes before thinking back to her last few years in middle school and how she'd been assigned band as extracurriculars. She'd chosen the xylophone because she really hadn't want much of a challenge, it was enough that she'd had to be in band to start with.
So Ella hit the first note and after that E note reached her ears, it was like memory had completely taken over. She played 'Für Elise' smoothly and when she was done she flipped Matt off, "Whatever it was, Nick won."
The drummer waved her off like one waves an annoying mosquito, "But everyone knows how to play that song in whichever instrument they know."
She didn't say anything back to him, just grabbed the mallets back up and with a C note she started playing 'Fly Me to the Moon' by Sinatra. Right after she'd finished with the chorus of it, she started playing 'Take On Me' by A-ha and just to shut him up she finished her repertoire with 'Bohemian Rhapsody' by Queen.
Ella remembered the endless days she'd practice that last song until she got it to perfection, her middle school self was really hard on herself—she still remained the same in that aspect.
Everyone but Matt started clapping making Ella blush, "Thank you, thank you." She took a small bow, "I cannot believe I still remember how to play those songs, haven't played since I started high school."
"Well she can actually play an instrument, so your argument is fucked Matt." Concluded Nick with a victorious smirk on his face.
The drummer rolled his eyes and proceeded to stand up, "Whatever, Ella might be able to but I stand my ground."
She was confused but, honestly, she didn't want to bring the whole thing back up so she decided to just stay with the curiosity. "Where'd you get this? So I can put it away." She asked Matt but before he could answer, Alex interrupted.
"Actually, can you help me?"
Ella set the mallets back on the table, "With what?"
"I feel like we should try and make a soft song," He looked for words to describe what he wanted to do, "Like a lullaby of sorts."
Ella slowly nodded, not so sure if she'd be much help but agreeing nonetheless, "Sure, yeah. Just... I never really composed anything so I'm gonna be hitting notes like a dickhead for a while until I manage to find a melody that sounds right."
Alex shrugged, "That's fine. Would you like to go to another room so you can do it in peace?" He subtly nodded towards Matt and Ella chuckled.
"Yes, please."
A few minutes later, Ella and Alex were settled in the keyboard room. She set the glockenspiel on the small table she was sitting in front of and Alex sat beside her with a Gibson J-45 on his lap.
She had no idea what to do first so she laughed embarrassed, hiding her face in her hands. "Alex what do I do?" Her giggles kept going as she felt her cheeks grow hot.
He laughed with her and started playing random chords to distract her, "Whatever you'd like, just go at it and when you play something you like try to write down the notes so you don't forget."
His journal was open then, in front of her with the pen he always used to write resting in the crease of the middle of the open book. The pages were blank and intimidating, she was so nervous for some reason and she didn't want to disappoint him so the pressure was even greater.
But after an hour, Ella found that making music with Alex was truly an easy smooth ride. He'd played different melodies, sometimes along with the random notes she was playing and when they'd fallen on a pattern that sounded beautiful, she gasped.
"No fucking way." She was truly blown away by the fact that she had been able to help in the making of something that sounded actually pretty.
He smiled proudly at her, "That was stunning. You remember the notes?"
She nodded eagerly, grabbing the pen with her right hand to start writing it down as she played it with her left hand slowly.
It was a tiny part, but it was a start and Alex seemed to really like it. Soon, Alex was playing away on the guitar like a door had been opened and the inspiration had just flooded out.
Alex raised his eyebrows expectantly when he was done with all he was coming up with, "That sound good?"
"Beautiful." She confirmed with a beaming grin on her face.
They went over it again and again, Ella timidly adding a few notes here and there which he always smiled and nodded to. She had a good sense of timing where to put them.
Ella listened to him attentively as he played the chorus again, "I think the bass coming on after the second chorus would lift it all up, maybe everyone could come in after it."
He had a thought, "Change it all, maybe to start a bridge..."
Ella nodded excitedly, that sounded great.
They went over it again, he was racking his brain trying to find anything that he wanted to sing about to such a slow-tempo song.
She'd seen times before how he mumbled as he played, trying to find the perfect words that fit the song, and how like that, slowly, the lines came to life.
On this occasion it wasn't different, the chorus being played by him over and over again as he formed sentences. He seemed to have settled for 'Mad sounds, in your ear. Make you get up and dance' and it sounded beautiful.
"What is it about?" She asked as he wrote the lyric in the journal, his handwriting contrasting against hers on the bottom of the page.
"Dunno yet." He stared at the words he'd just written, what did he want to write about?
"Sounds like the start of an ode to music."
His eyes went over the words again, seeing it in that light made sense. Maybe he'd try and make it go in that direction. "You're right, it does."
Ella smiled once again, feeling very much overjoyed at the new experience she'd just gone through. She was sad about the fact that she hadn't caught at least something on camera, having left it in the other room after the battery died earlier.
When they went back to where the rest of the band and James were, sipping on beer bottles as they chatted, her cheeks hurt from smiling. They showed them all what they'd come up with and Alex made sure they heard Ella's idea.
Matt had stood up and crushed Ella in a hug, "That sounds fucking lovely, welcome to the band Ellie." Her giggles filled the room as Matt squeezed her tighter and she tried to get away from him.
"Thanks but I'll leave that to y'all, I'm not a rockstar." Matt let go of her, and ruffled her hair just to annoy her. She shrieked as her hair came all over her face, she poked him in the ribs making him yelp so loud, it got a chesty laugh out of her.
Alex couldn't wipe the smile out of his face, nothing would. Not only had he gotten Ella to be part of this experience but she had enjoyed it, and seeing her genuinely happy was all he wanted. He'd have to get used to not having her with him in the way he wanted, as long as he had her as a friend then that'd have to be enough.
✦✧✦✧✦✧✦✧✦✧✦✧
The days had gone by fast—between songs getting written on and wiped off the whiteboard they had on the room now, demos getting sent and returned, Ross Orton joining James Ford in the production of some of the songs, days they'd stayed well past the time they had planned, spending weekends at different places of the city. The year was going incredibly well so far.
One afternoon of the very last week of January, they had found themselves rather bored and stuck. They had gone to a pub the night before and they'd been absolutely plastered before it was even two in the morning.
Ella vaguely remembered holding Breana's hair back as she heaved in the pub's bathroom from her attempt at taking consecutive shots of tequila.
So they were all wearing sunglasses indoors, the curtains were closed—but it wasn't doing much because they were pretty much see-through—, sitting in the worst positions on the settees.
"Shouldn't we have just taken the day off?" Jamie wondered with a groan, he had drank just enough but having to basically carry Nick out of the pub to the cab and out of the cab and to the hotel was what had exhausted him completely. "Not even James, nor Ross are coming today."
"It was already booked for us, mate." Replied Alex, his head thrown back and resting on the back of the settee.
Ella grimaced as she sat back straighter and reached for her bag, she smiled seeing the ziplock bag she'd brought with her. She didn't even know why she'd thought it would be the best idea to bring them to the studio but if there was a possibility of nursing their hangovers then she'd take it.
"Would these help?" She lifted the plastic bag in the air, it said 'sandwich bag' and it made her chuckle because inside there could be seen five thick spliffs waiting to be smoked.
No one really cared to see what it was. Ten in the morning was too early for them to want to be there, but when she moved the bag around in the air and opened it, the smell of weed hit them so suddenly that they instantly perked up.
Alex straightened up beside her, taking his sunglasses off and squinting to adjust to the light coming from outside. "What the fuck?"
Nick cleared his throat, "Didn't know you smoked."
"Don't be too surprised." She shrugged, getting her lighter and resting the ziplock bag on her lap, "University parties get you started quite easily..." She trailed off trying to figure out how it would work out, "Should we just pass it around or do each of you want your own?"
"Let's pass it around, so we can smoke for longer." Jamie said logically, he'd rather smoke slowly and throughout the day than finish the weed in fifteen minutes and then have to endure the day being sleepy and still hungover.
Ella lit up the first one, taking a long drag of it and relishing in the familiar feeling of the smoke in her throat. She let the smoke out and passed the spliff to Alex, who mirrored her actions.
By the time the second spliff was done, they were chatting about stupid things. They'd gotten hungry and seeing that it was past noon, they all settled in ordering McDonald's—there had been an overall consensus on how it was the best food to have while high.
They had basically smoked the whole day and when they had smoked the last two, consecutively, it was already nighttime. They were all outside stargazing, the blue of the night so piercing that the spheres of plasma contrasted brightly against it and let their presence known to anyone who could catch it.
For some reason she had started going on and on about everything she knew about galaxies, space and celestial objects. Surprisingly, the lads encouraged her to keep going which ended up in all of them agreeing on how, as kids, they thought that by 2013 they'd be driving flying cars and being able to buy lightsabers at the shops—even admitting that they'd thought time traveling would've been a thing already.
That's how they had ended up back in the recording room, completely determined on how they had to make a song about it all. She'd sat beside Alex, reading the things they'd all come up with and nodding like it was the best line ever written. Jamie was playing the guitar and Nick his bass, Matt patting his thighs as he analyzed what his friends were composing.
She wasn't sure what had happened afterwards as she woke up and found herself sleeping on the biggest settee of their usual recording room. Alex was sleeping on the one adjacent and Matt was snoring away on the floor, with a cushion under his head.
Her groan made the two men stir in their slumber. She grabbed her phone that was thrown in a corner of the room and saw that it was five in the morning. Her back was killing her, why the fuck hadn't we just taken a cab home? she wondered as she walked out to the bathroom.
From afar she saw Jamie sleeping peacefully on the settee in the keyboards room and Nick sleeping on the one by the kitchen.
She was grateful she had been way too hungover to actually do her makeup the day before so the smudge of her mascara was very minimal and she got rid of it easily by washing her face.
Once she was done, she went to the kitchen to make some coffee for everyone. She was drinking a glass of water when Nick's voice startled her.
"Good morning, why the fuck did we sleep here?" Since he'd just woken up, his voice was so much deeper than usual and it actually surprised her.
"I have no idea, I don't even remember at what time we fell asleep."
Nick sighed, rubbing his eyes and stood up slowly. "What time is it?"
"Like five twenty" She cringed, it was still dark out but the birds could be heard singing softly.
The bassist cussed and left to use the toilet. She poured herself and Nick a cup of coffee, it was piping hot as it had just been made in the coffee maker the studio had.
It took about half an hour for everyone to wake up, Matt being the last and the one who complained the most.
"Why would yous let me sleep on the fucking floor?" He said through his teeth, making an appearance in the kitchen.
Jamie scoffed, "I tried to get you on one of the settees but you ran back to the main room saying you had to add something to the song."
Ella remembered then that they had all made a song, "Oh my god... We made a song, didn't we?" They all nodded, sipping on their coffees. "Fuck, I don't even know if I wanna listen to it."
But as soon as they finished with their drinks and they had washed and dried it all, they went to the recording room to hear the demo. The bass was prominent in it, and the guitars complimented it perfectly. Alex's voice was slurred and it made them all laugh, but they quieted down at the guitar solo by the end of the recording.
"The guitars are fucking sick in this one." Ella said in appreciation, she was not expecting something actually that good when they had all been in the worst state.
Nick agreed, looping it back to hear the guitar solo once more. "Has b-side potential, to be fair."
They played it once more, hearing the lyrics more closely this time.
It's two thousand and thirteen all across the galaxy
It's two thousand and thirteen
So, baby, take a walk with me
Past flying cars and time machines
There's magic like you won't believe
Ella let the song reach its end to comment, "We are aware that the galaxy is far older, right? Like..." She paused to clear her dry throat, "It was only Jesus who was supposedly born two thousand and thirteen years ago, not the galaxy..."
Matt let out a loud sigh, "Ellie, we're not high anymore so stop nerding out."
"That's just common knowledge–" She argued.
"Ella." He replied sternly.
"Matthew J Helders the third," She said back in the same tone. "Shut. Up."
"Yes Matt, fuck off." Nick sided with Ella and Jamie repeated the same phrase to support the motion.
The drummer scoffed, "Why am I being bullied right now?"
"Because you deserve it." Alex replied this time.
Matt frowned, "I do not."
"I still remember you slandering Bre's favorite Fleetwood Mac record so if you want to keep your stunning girlfriend then shut up."
That had been the only reason why Matt stood quiet for a good ten seconds, and then he told her. "I can't stand you."
Ella gave him a cynical smile, "The feeling is mutual."
Jamie cackled at them, "You two are like fucking siblings arguing, I swear."
Before they could continue bickering though, they heard the front door being opened and closed and by the time they went out to see who it was, they were greeted by the sight of David coming in.
"Good morning everyone," Dave greeted with a smile on his face. "Was coming to check on you, how are you feeling? Slept well?"
Alex nodded, "Yeah mate, thanks very much."
"I tried to get you all a ride home but you all agreed on staying so..." The bearded man added and they all nodded.
"Thank you for letting us stay, man." Matt patted his back in gratitude. "We're just gonna go pick everything up and then we'll leave."
They didn't have the studio booked for the next few days so they gathered all of their stuff up and tidied the rest of the things they had used. They left the place as the sun rose up, Ella waved them off as she took the opposite direction to where they were going. Alex saw the sun hitting the little mirrorball hanging from her rearview mirror, making the light reflect all over the inside of her car.
"Love you guys! Bye!" She yelled out her rolled down window, disappearing into the highway.
✦✧✦✧✦✧✦✧✦✧✦✧
Things had been going normal. After those three days they'd had in a sense of a small break, they had gone back to the studio with fresh ideas and the energy buzzed in the room whenever they were all together.
Ella had been more and more invested in the whole process, sometimes asking each of the guys what different things did or how they managed to get an instrument to sound the way it did in their demos. James had gotten used to having Ella beside him in the days Ross wasn't at the studio.
She was usually there first, smoking away as she waited for them, greeting whoever arrived first with a lovely smile and her arms open and ready for a hug.
That's why at the start of the second week of February, Alex had been incredibly confused at not seeing her already there when he got to Rancho de la Luna at eight in the morning.
He greeted David, asking him if Ella was already inside and when he shook his head, the singer's confusion grew. Maybe she'll be late today, he'd told himself so he didn't worry but just in case, he'd left her a text.
(11/02/2013 08:13) Hi Ellie, good morning. Around what time are you coming today? Was surprised to not see you when I got here xx
Slowly, everyone started coming in and when James got to the studio at around ten in the morning, that's when Alex started worrying even more. They hadn't seen her as she usually didn't go to the studio on the weekends like them, where is she? She wasn't one to just miss a work day or be late and not say anything.
Around noon, Matt had gotten a call from Breana—who was currently out in New York for a modeling gig—and Alex would've teased him about how they truly couldn't live without the other if it wasn't for Matt's worried facial expression.
The call was rather quick and all of his replies were meek, it was strange for him to talk like that with Bre so he started to wonder if they had fought or something, but then Matt had told her "Alright, I love you" with a loopy grin on his face before he hung up that had Alex discarding the thought.
Everyone was looking at him expectantly because the call seemed to have had a negative effect on his mood and they wanted to know if everything was alright.
Matt sighed, "Ellie's not gonna make it today, maybe not even the rest of the week." Alex's heart sank at the thought of something having happened to her that could keep her from going to the studio. "She's not feeling very well apparently."
Alex felt his whole body grow cold and it was an instant reaction for him to pick up his phone and leave the room to call her.
He dialed her number over and over for about ten times but none were answered, so he went back to texting her in hopes that it was just that she was ill and had fallen asleep.
(11/02/2013 12:06) Ellie, is everything okay? Bre's just called saying you weren't feeling good and that you'll be missing the next few days here. Just let me know when you see this that you're fine xx
(11/02/2013 12:07) Did you catch a cold? I'll come over with some soup for you, I promise I make the best chicken noodle soup (either it is good or my mum lied) xx
(11/02/2013 12:08) You're probably asleep and I'm being an absolute knob making your phone ring over and over. I'll stop now but just let me know what's going on. Sending you loads of hugs xxxx
The more Alex stared at the clock, the slower time went by. He was too distracted to care about what was going on in the recording room, everyone having to bring him back to reality every five minutes.
By the time it was one thirty in the afternoon, he hadn't been able to take it any longer so he excused himself and ran outside to call Breana. He didn't even care if he'd be interrupting her photoshoot by calling her over and over, he had to know if Ella was okay.
When he rang her for the fifth time, he got his call answered. "Jesus Christ, Alex, is everything alright?"
He was so relieved the model finally picked up, "Yes. Everything's good. Just... Ella. What happened to Ella? Is she okay?"
Breana felt silent, only the shutter of the camera and the clicking of heels on the floor was heard for a few seconds, "Erm, yes. She's just not feeling well."
"Did she get ill? I've been trying to call her and she won't answer." His voice was laced with worry and that wasn't missed by Bre.
Silence again, "Yes..." Bre replied but it sounded like a question and that's when Alex knew she was full of shit.
"Bre, what happened? Is she okay?" His voice got firmer, he didn't understand why she'd be keeping quiet about anything happening to her best friend.
She sighed, "Alex, she's not feeling well and that's all that I can tell you. I promised her I wouldn't say anything else."
"So something did happen," The singer insisted, "Bre, at least let me know her address so I can go check up on her."
"Alex–" The model started in protest but he was quick to interrupt her.
"Bre, you're far away and not coming back until next week. At least let me be the one to check up on her. I just wanna know if she's okay." He heard her sigh and when the line stood silent he continued, "I don't care if she's just ill and you probably think I'm overreacting, I'd rather do that and find out she's okay than brush it off and find out afterwards that something worst has happened and she's been alone."
"Fucking hell, Alex," Breana cursed, giving into his point. "I'll send you it in a text, but just... let me know how she's doing when you get there okay? And hug her tightly for me, please."
He felt like he could finally breathe, "'Course. Cheers, Bre."
It was only seconds after hanging up that Breana sent him Ella's address through text. His hands were sweaty as he went back inside and told the lads he'd be leaving for the day. He didn't even give them time to ask why, because he was out the door as soon as he'd finished his sentence.
Ella's home was only an hour away from the studio but traffic had held him back forty minutes, he'd been fidgeting in his seat all the way to her medium sized one floor house which was painted a gorgeous light green color.
Alex was quick to park his rental-car on her driveway which only had her car present, he figured she had her bike inside her garage. Without missing a beat, he got out of the car and with long fast strides reached her white door and knocked on it.
A long minute went by and no one was opening the door, he knocked harder and rang the doorbell before knocking furiously again. He heard shuffling behind the door and he was relieved but when the door opened, he felt every bit of worry fall over him like a ton of bricks.
Ella was still in her pajamas—a big gray shirt almost covering her red flannel shorts—, her eyes were puffy and just as red as her nose, her hair was a mess in tangles on a bun atop of her head and she had a glass half full on her right hand.
The last person she'd expected was the singer to be standing outside her door, "Alex, what are you doing here?" She was so tired of everything, she just wanted to be alone and wallowing in self pity not having to worry about how she looked and how she was dealing with the shit show that had just unfolded in her life.
"Hey Ellie," His voice was so soft, she was surprised at how just hearing him had felt like a hug. "Are you okay?" He asked, very much worried but not really knowing what to do.
"How did you even find my address? Did Ben or Aaron give you it, I'll kill them." She ranted, on the brink of exploding in anger. Her emotions were a mess, she was a mess, she had no idea what the fuck to do anymore. Nothing made sense to her anymore.
"No, no, I had to beg Bre for it, but what's wrong?" He wanted to know why she looked so broken or, if anything, he just wanted to comfort her. "What are you even drinking?" He took a step towards her and into her house and she stepped back but with the sigh she'd let out, the alcohol in her breath hit him. "Ellie, it's only three in the afternoon."
She laughed, without a hint of humor, "Alex, I truly rather be drunk right now. I do not fucking care what time it is."
He shook his head, watching her leave so he closed the door behind him and followed her steps. "No, absolutely not." He stated and tried to get the glass from her.
"Yes Alex," She downed what was left on the glass before he could get to her, wincing at the whiskey burning her throat. "I've run out of cigarettes, have no weed, I look too crazy to even bother going out to get shit and all I have is whiskey and a few bottles of wine." She used her fingers to count all the misfortunes that had come after the blow she'd taken the night before.
She turned to the whiskey bottle and poured herself another glass, way too full, but it was what she needed. She took a gulp of it and whispered a curse after it struggled to go down her throat.
"Ella, you're gonna have to stop right now." His words were firm, he was trying to be patient but he didn't want her drinking her problems away.
She rolled her eyes, setting the glass down harshly so the alcohol splashed around it. "Alex– I truly don't need you to be logical right now." She took a deep shaky breath and continued, "Just leave okay? You've seen I'm alive. I'm just not feeling good so just go, you have shit to do much more important than me and my fucking mess of a life." The way her voice broke saying that last sentence had him frowning deeper, he wanted to do something, anything to stop feeling the hurt she clearly was was feeling.
"What's wrong, darling? Talk to me." Alex hadn't called her that in a long time, not after he'd caught his mistake in doing that after that call at the Olympics opening ceremony, but he just couldn't help it. He'd tried to reach for her hand but she'd flinched away at the pet name.
It had made her wince, thinking back to what Arielle had told her the month prior about how Alex had called her that as he'd fucked her dumb. She felt so fucking pathetic, so far from special. Am I the problem? She had wondered that all night, as she cried herself to sleep.
She was tired of crying but she couldn't stop it. She was tired of people making her cry, making her believe that she wasn't worthy of anything.
She slowly turned around, sighing heavily before admitting, "He fucking cheated, Al."
Alex felt a blow to his chest, "What?"
Ella's tears cascaded down automatically, breaking his heart in a million little pieces for her. "He's fucking cheated on me, I–" She started but she had to stop as a sob ripped through her. "And you wanna know how I found out? Because his parents caught him in a lie. He told them he'd be going out on dinner with me and when they went to surprise us, they found him with someone else." Her voice raised as she narrated everything, fury in her eyes and the heartbreak making her tremble.
"He fucking admitted to it to them, how he's been seeing this girl for over a month, but when they told him he had to tell me the truth, he fucking refused." A loud scoff came from her, "His mom has had to fucking call me and tell me because this fucking cunt didn't have the balls to say it." She was so baffled, sobbing in disbelief.
Why does it always happen to me? She'd asked herself so many times, she had given up on an answer.
She sniffled, wiping her nose, "So now I've had to break up with him over the fucking phone because I know I wouldn't have been able to do it in person."
Alex walked slowly to get closer to her, not wanting to startle her. "Ellie I'm–" His words were cut by Ella's words of desperation.
"I fucking wanted to marry him Alex! I thought he was it for me!" Pure agony was what was filling every inch of her body and soul. "We had started trying for a baby." She broke down in loud sobs that made her hiccup as she tried to get oxygen back in her lungs.
Alex had no idea what to say to that, he wanted to do nothing more than to murder Julian after torturing him in the most sadistic ways. But she was his priority, making her feel better was what he had to do. He was quick to envelope her in a tight hug, she cried harder hidden in his chest as she fisted his maroon shirt.
Her tears bleed through his shirt and it felt like her heartache was burning his skin. "I just want this hurt gone, I feel like my chest is caving in, Al. I want it gone. Please." Ella begged and her body trembled in his arms. In that moment, all he could think was how he'd do anything to be able to take away the pain from her—he'd carry all of her burdens if it meant she'd be eternally happy, like she deserved.
His left hand was rubbing up and down her back, his right hand holding her head to his chest. He softly shushed her trying to calm her down in the slightest, he had never been good at consoling crying women, but for Ella he'd try and excel at anything she needed from him. "It's gonna be alright Ellie, I promise. You are gonna be okay."
Alex had her walk to the settee with him, she just let him guide her as her cries did nothing but increase.
Pathetic, pitiful, worthless, meaningless, replaceable.
That's all she felt about herself and she hated it, with a deep burning passion.
Alex sat down with her and she scooted onto his side, needing the warmth of his touch around her. She needed someone even if she didn't want to admit it and Alex was determined on keeping his hold on her for as long as she wanted it to.
His fingers started scratching her head, making her relax in her arms. Her sobs started to quiet down after five minutes and her breath slowed down.
"I'm here okay? I'm not leaving." He assured her, looking down at her still shielding on his chest.
She nodded, and she whined softly at the waves of memories coming back to her trying to push her back into a breakdown.
It had been like that since she'd gotten the phone call the night before, she would cry for hours and eventually calm down finding some sleep which was interrupted by the situation being reflected in her dreams, making her start sobbing all over again. She'd only gotten a total of three hours of sleep the night before.
A thought flashed through her head, making her break the hug as her skin crawled in disgust for herself. "I hate this so much," She muttered, recoiling to the corner of the settee, the furthest she could from Alex. "I'm gonna have to go and get tested now, not only for pregnancy but for everything else 'cause I don't even know who he's been fucking. I feel so disgusting."
The singer scooted closer to her, rubbing her arms which were hugging her folded legs closely to her chest.
"He's an absolute prick. I'm so sorry, Ellie. I really truly am." His honesty was so clear but she couldn't take it.
She started crying again, shaking her head. "You have nothing to apologize for. He should be."
That made Alex scowl, "Did he not?"
Ella chuckled entirely unamused at the memory of her phone call to him that had happened earlier that day. "He did, over and over but it just made me sick. He said it so many times it started sounding weird. He didn't mean it at all. He's only sorry for himself, that he got caught."
"I want to kill him." Alex said simply.
Her face contorted in pity for herself, because she still felt how much she loved him. "I want this to be a sick and twisted joke." Her chin wobbled, and he knew exactly what it meant.
Of course she still loved him. That's the type of person she was, always a giver. And she never half assed anything so when she loved, she loved in the very best way: passionately and endlessly. He knew that from the way she talked about her family, her friends, her hobbies, her job.
She threw herself in his arms again and sobbed away, none of them noticing how she was basically straddling his lap and how her breasts were pressed against his chest. Her face was buried on his neck and his arms wrapped around her again, the same way they had been doing before. He could feel the erratic thumping of her heart on the other side of his.
It had been an hour that it had taken Ella to exhaust herself to sleep. When her breathing slowed down and he heard one of her soft snores in his ear, he felt relief flooding his system. He knew then that hated seeing her cry, he hated seeing her in despair, sleep deprived—her dark circles were prominent when she'd opened the door and the sunlight hit her face—, relying on alcohol to drown her sorrows.
She deserved so much better.
He stood up from the sofa with her still in his arms, slowly to not wake her up but not even if he had been more careless could she have startled awake. She was in a deep sleep, having found comfort after long hours of misery.
He set her down on her bed, which was still unmade but not that messy which confirmed to him that she hadn't slept well at all the previous night. The covers were soon over her and all the way up to her chin, she'd let out a sound of satisfaction as she snuggled her pillows.
Alex decided to kick his shoes off and sit beside her, watching her peacefully sleep. Sometimes she'd flinch and start crying, hot tears falling from her closed eyes and wetting the pillow under her head. He'd rub her back, whispering 'you're okay, you're okay' until she settled back down, but it hurt him having to see her like that in the first place.
He felt so helpless.
After about three hours, seeing that she was in deep slumber, he thought it would be good for him to get some food. She had definitely not eaten at all that day so she'd be hungry when she woke up. He slowly put his shoes on and exited her house, grabbing her house keys and writing a little note before leaving.
Alex let himself smile fondly at the Tennessee keychain she had, a little silver cowboy boot it was and it reminded him of her mirrorball.
He had seen a few restaurants about ten minutes from her house so he settled for proximity rather than finding a restaurant he knew was good. The thing he least wanted was for her to wake up and see him gone, even if he had left a note.
The singer had decided to get some films from the redbox rental her neighborhood Walgreens had, wanting her to get distracted and enjoy herself for a little.
Despite him rushing to get back as soon as possible, and getting annoyed at himself for taking much longer than anticipated, when he got back she was still asleep. But it was eight in the evening then, so he had to wake her up to have her eat.
He dropped everything he'd gotten slowly on her kitchen counter and he walked carefully into her room. The bed dipping beside her had her stirring, so he felt less bad when he started brushing her hair back and softly whispered her name to have her wake up.
She'd hummed in response to hearing her name being called and he grinned at her pout, she was so effortlessly breathtaking—it was beyond his understanding.
"C'mon darling, I brought you some food." He finally said and she mumbled gibberish in response, "There's ice cream too and some films."
Her eyes slowly peeled open, her pout was replaced by a frown because she didn't remember much of how the hell Alex had ended up in her house.
Regardless, she rubbed her eyes awake and yawned. Slowly but surely she got up and threaded to the bathroom to freshen up, Alex told her he'd be serving their food in the kitchen and to join him when she was ready.
Twenty minutes later, she was out of the bathroom. Freshly showered, with her hair damp and wetting the back of her shirt. She'd changed her pjs for a 'Queens of the Stone Age' big shirt and some joggers.
Alex wanted to coo, seeing her hugging herself as she walked to the living room where he had set everything up. Italian food—her favorite—, a few bottles of Mexican coke he'd found in a bodega next to Walgreens, and 'Sherlock Holmes' ready to play on her TV.
Ella felt a knot tightening up in her throat, she was sure what she'd needed was to be miserable by herself until she'd cried all of her tears but seeing him there, sitting in her living room after having brought her food and shit that would make her feel better with the sweetest smile on his face, reminded her that she needed someone to help her during tough times.
Her pout grew on her face, and Alex was quick to stop her from getting herself worked out over nothing. "Hey, Ellie. It's okay, c'mere." She nodded and walked towards him, tears slowly filling her eyes and threatening to spill. He turned to her once she was sitting beside him and brushed his thumbs on the apples of her cheeks, "Don't cry okay? Let's watch a film and eat well so we can have a good sleep tonight, yeah?"
A tear slipped down and he was quick to wipe it, he pressed a kiss on her forehead to then turn and grab her plate for her. "Here," He handed her the plate, "Spinach ravioli bolognese, your favorite."
A pathetic little chuckle fell from her lips as she received the dish, it indeed was her favorite. "Oh, you remember."
He watched her as she placed the plate on her lap, sitting straight next to him. "Of course I do. I remember loads of things," But it wasn't about that in this situation, so he got her excited for the movie. "Have you seen this one? People say it's great."
Ella had been sure she wasn't hungry but at the smell of her favorite food reaching her nose, her stomach growled. She blushed, shaking her head at Alex's question, "I haven't, no."
Alex smiled at her, and pressed play but as the opening credits rolled, he pushed her softly to start eating. "I wanna know if you like it, try a little bit."
"Well, how different can it be from any other place? I'm sure it's good." Ella replied as she stirred some of the sauce around with her fork.
"Just a bite," He negotiated, "For me?"
The pout on his face seemed to twist her arm, she gave him a tight lip smile before she shoved a bite into her mouth. Her smile got bigger then, as she savored the food. "It's really good," He smiled, pleased to see that she liked it. "Thank you, Al."
He nodded before grabbing his own plate and they both ate slowly as the film played. It had gotten her giggling and quietly gasping at different moments, which made his heart swell inside of him. When the end credits rolled, he asked her if she'd liked it to which she gave him an excited nod of her head. She was smiling, small grins, but it was what he wanted to get from her.
Alex took the dishes to wash them and Ella followed after him with the empty coke bottles and complained about him doing the dishes in her house. He just stared at her right in the eyes as he quickly washed what they'd used and his smirk got bigger the more she complained.
"You're annoying." Ella simply stated when he was done.
Alex chuckled and walked over to her fridge, "Would some ice cream help you forgive me for being annoying?"
"Maybe..."
She took out two small bowls and two spoons, pointing him to where she had her ice cream scooper and thanked him when he filled her bowl with three big servings of the sweet dessert.
They went back to her living room, to play the next one. He'd changed the discs quickly in her DVD player and played the new movie in record time, "I've actually seen this one already, pretty good. You'll like it."
She saw Ryan Gosling on the cover of the DVD case and nodded, "Give me anything Ryan Gosling and I'll love it."
He laughed, and nodded, "Brilliant." and turned to watch the screen just as 'Drive' showed on the screen.
About thirty minutes into the movie, Alex's phone started going off so he excused himself to go outside and pick it up.
It was Breana, who had been texting him over and over because he hadn't given her an update on Ella like he'd promised. He cursed under his breath and closed the door behind him. He'd told Ella to keep watching but she was honestly just trying to please him by watching it with him. She'd been lost in her thoughts all through the start of it, seeing the main characters subtly flirt with one another had made her tragedies catch up to her again and made her silently crumble.
She'd left two of her windows open since the morning, when she'd been smoking her sorrows away until she ran out, so she could hear what Alex was saying.
"Hi, I'm so sorry," She knew he'd lit up a cigarette because she could smell the burning tobacco making its way inside her house. "Got caught up with everything and forgot about my phone." She heard nothing but silence for a few seconds until he started debriefing, "She's okay. I had her sleep for a few hours and got her food, we've been eating and watching some films." She was so confused as to who he was talking to but then he mentioned a name that had her in the brink of tears again. "Bre, I–. Yes, she was crying a lot but she's stopped for now." She wanted nothing more than for her best friend to be there but, alas, Ella's life seemed to be highlighted by always having the worst timing. "If she lets me then yes, I don't want her to be alone while she's going through this. Much less if there's a slight possibility of that cunt coming to bother her."
It didn't sound like jealousy in his voice, just plain anger at what Julian had done to her and in that moment she realized that maybe Alex and her were meant to be friends. Despite the direction things had taken when they'd first met, maybe they were meant to have a strong friendship so they could be there for each other, have each other's backs.
Ella realized how good it felt to have him there with her, because he understood her in a way that only a few people did and he made her feel calm. She needed that.
His voice could be heard further away as she went to her kitchen after pausing the movie and saw the other things that Alex had bought for her: two little bags of gummies, a dark chocolate bar, another Mexican coke, and a pack of Marlboro reds.
He was a life saver, truly.
She opened the pack and grabbed a cigarette, placed it on her mouth and, after closing her windows down, she joined him outside.
He'd gotten scared by the sudden movement at the door behind him, she laughed as she came to stand beside him and he lit her cigarette up at her silent question for it.
"Thank you." She muttered and he smiled in response.
Alex nodded and hummed at whatever Breana was saying, "Yes, Bre, I know and I won't. You have my word." A cloud of smoke left his lips when he chuckled, "I'll text you later, bye."
Ella watched through the corner of her eye as he hung up and placed his phone in the back pocket of his jeans.
"Thought I told you to keep watching without me." His gaze came over her, watching her relish in the bad habit they both had.
"You did, but I needed a breather." Ella admitted.
Alex nodded and they both fell to their tangled thoughts. She was lost trying to find answers to the one question echoing the most in her head, why? And he was stuck thinking about what he could do to switch her hurt for brief moments of joy.
"Are you feeling better?"
It took her a minute to answer, her eyes lost in the sky and the sight of the moon. So beautiful and unbothered, shining over every single person on Earth so effortlessly.
"It's a weird thing, honestly. I feel just... numb. Like I'm in shock and don't even know if what's happened is real but then I suddenly feel it all coming over me like I'm getting swallowed by fire and I'm burning alive, but somehow the emptiness I feel in my chest overpowers it all." Word vomit, that's what it had been and she shook her head at herself. "I'm talking out of my ass, aren't I?" Pathetic.
But when Alex instantly shook his head, she felt relieved. "No, you're not. He deserves hell, Ellie, not you. And he surely doesn't deserve your tears or your heartache." He threw the last of his cigarette on the floor and took two steps to be right beside her. He threw his arm around her shoulders and let it fall until he could hug her tightly to his side.
She let her head fall on his shoulder, "I've begged for hours that this is a nightmare but I've pinched myself enough times to know I'm unfortunately awake."
"I'm sorry, Ellie." He kissed the top of her head, and then rested his cheek on it. "But I know you, and I know you're gonna be okay. The shadow of his actions that's following you right now will wither away in time, but it will haunt him till the end of his days."
Tears had started falling again but this time in frustration when she explained, "I hate that my brain wants him to suffer but my heart is begging to spare him some mercy."
"Your heart will catch up, just be patient with it."
He was so good at just saying things like that, it blew her away really. "God, you're so poetic. No wonder you ended up a musician." She felt his chest tremble as he laughed, the cold breeze was a nice contrast to the warmth she felt by being held by Alex. "Thank you, by the way."
That had him lifting his head to look down at her, "What for?"
Ella was still pressed to his side but she tilted her head back slightly to look up at him. "The food, the movies, the candy, the cigarettes, letting me ruin your shirt with my tears, letting me ruin your day with my tragedies, begging Bre for my address, spending the day with me..." She was glad he was there, she was glad to have him. "You're a true friend, Alex Turner."
It hurt, 'friend', but he promised himself that that'd have to be enough for him so it would. He gave her the sweetest smile, "No need to thank me darling, I will always be here for you. No matter what." And he meant that—even if he was on the other side of the world, he was determined to always be there for her. "And you didn't ruin my day, if anything you saved me from Matt being insufferable since Bre is in New York."
She giggled, wiping her tears with her right hand. "Ugh, yeah. He must be unbearable."
Ella decided she was done with her cigarette, so she flicked it and watched it die in the ground of her driveway a couple of feet from her and Alex. She brought her arm to circle around Alex's waist and squeezed him softly, "Let's go back inside."
Alex nodded and dropped his arm from around her, Ella started walking ahead of him back to the front door but stopped in her steps when Alex spun her around by her wrist and crushed her in a hug.
"That one's from Bre," The singer said in her ear, "Forgot to deliver it until now, sorry."
She melted in laughter in his hold. He was such an idiot and she was so damn grateful he'd pestered Bre into giving him her address because she truly didn't know what it would've been of her if she'd spent the day completely alone.
They went back inside and finished the film, which ended up being really good and she'd be sure it would be one she'd watch more times in the future. It wasn't too late, barely midnight but she was falling asleep slowly, the exhaustion catching up to her.
Her yawn made him turn to her, he was gonna have her go to bed and then leave but she offered him to stay before she could even stand up from the settee.
Alex accepted, of course. If Ella hadn't offered, he knew he'd go back to the hotel and then be at her door in the morning to make sure she was alright.
She showed him the guest room and reminded him of where the bathroom was. She'd offered him clothes for him to sleep in but he kindly turned them down as he was fine just sleeping in his underwear.
He had managed to get some sleep for a few hours when he was suddenly woken up by her sobs at three in the morning. He wasn't sure what the noise was at first, too sleep drunk to grasp any logic but when he realized it was her crying, his heart broke.
Alex debated within himself if it would be good to just go and get her to calm down or if he should just let her cry it out but when he heard silence and then another heart ripping sob, he got up and walked to her room.
He knocked softly on her door twice before opening the door, his heart broke seeing her against her headboard hugging her legs. The brightness coming from her phone screen was the only thing keeping the room from being absolutely pitch black.
She saw him blurry through the tears, his hair ruffled and his clothes on his body messily. He hadn't had time to properly button his shirt up, too busy trying to check on her as soon as he could to put every button in its correct place.
"Ellie..." Alex cooed, approaching her as she sniffled, trying to calm herself down.
The second he reached her bed and sat beside her, he saw exactly what she'd been doing. She'd been looking at pictures of her and Julian, not the ones that she'd post but the random domestic ones like the one currently frozen in time on her phone. She looked to have been doing her makeup when he interrupted with a hug, their smiles so big on their faces it made her shiver—it felt like those two people in the picture were making fun of her.
Alex locked her phone and in a quick motion hugged her to his chest.Ella broke down all over again, clutching him like it was the only way she'd hold onto reality and not lose her mind altogether.
"Let's not do that, alright?" He suggested, rubbing her back.
She trembled under his touch from the force and continuity of her sobs, it had been such a stupid idea to go through her phone before going to sleep. Her nod was so small that he'd missed it but he continued on consoling her, pressing kisses to her head and talking in her ear.
"You're okay. He's a fucking idiot. He doesn't deserve your tears. He didn't and doesn't deserve you."
There was sweet conviction laced in his words, somehow Alex telling her helped more than if she tried to tell herself. It resonated more, it echoed louder inside her mind.
"I just don't understand it." Ella hated having to bring it all up again, but when it was all silence around her was when the questions would hunt her down. "A fucking month, he's been fucking someone else and sneaking off while I've been here like a love struck puppy stupidly waiting for him to come back. I feel so used and so stupid."
He lifted his head from where it had been resting on top of hers, so that she'd look at him. It was so dark but he could clearly see the soft sparkle of her eyes. "You're not stupid, Ella. You're the smartest one of us all."
She bit her lip trying not to cry again, chin wobbling at her naivety. "I'm clearly not. I didn't see it happening right in front of my eyes. Fuck knows if she was the only one." She let her head fall back, pressed against her headboard while she stared at the ceiling. The ceiling was the only part of her room she could see that didn't spark memories. "He's everywhere I look, Alex. Every inch of my house is tarnished with him and it's making me feel sick."
Her breath faltered, tears rolling down the corner of her eyes and falling down her temples. She'd started spiraling when she closed her door and suddenly her eyes seemed to only fall on bits that reminded of him. And she had tried her hardest to ignore it, to just think of anything else and let it pass but her heart ached to look back at every moment they'd spent together and she'd been too weak to say no.
Too weak, too naive. Stupid, stupid, stupid. All she felt was stupid.
The more her tears fell on his shoulder, the more Alex could hear her heart tearing apart. "I know, darling. But it will get better."
She straightened up, as her insides filled with anguish. She had no hope left. "I don't see how it can. He was everything. My everything."
He squeezed her tighter and she lifted her head up to rest on his shoulder again. His hand unwavering as it rubbed up and down her arm, warming the coldness in her. How could someone blatantly ruin someone like this? It was so insolent. "I know it's easier said than done, but you'll forget. You'll make new memories to replace the tarnished ones. And with time, the hurt will go and the beauty will remain." Because she seemed to glow so bright when was with Julian and he'd hate to see her dull away.
Ella started crying even more, "How stupid is it that I don't want to let the memories go though? I do this all the fucking time, I cling to every bit I have left of people until I just become numb to losing them one random day. But it's just an endless loop of torture until I get to that point, why can't I just skip this all?" It had only been a day, and she was already exhausted. "I don't even want to be in my own bedroom anymore."
"I know, I know." His hand left her arm to start scratching her head, he smiled slowly when he heard her sigh in content at the feeling. "But think about how this room could easily become your salvation if you ever accidentally let Matt and Breana stay over. And you know how shameless they can be—you'll have to start a new life just in here so you don't accidentally get flashed with Matt's arse. And believe me you really don't. Not a pretty sight at all." That was his awful attempt to lighten her mood up and it seemed to have worked when she snorted and her body shook with laughter.
In between chuckles she managed to respond, "You're an idiot."
Alex hummed a 'no', faux-defensive. "No, Breana is the idiot for going for someone like Matt. Me and you both saw him when we were high in the studio. That line about the galaxy being two thousand years old was definitely him."
"It definitely was." Ella agreed, why would he have gotten so offended by her correction if not.
"Yeah, we're not that stupid." He further backed his point.
But Ella was quick to scoff, "No, not at all Mr. 'Little tiny fruit coming after you'. How high did you get? Rude of you to not share your hallucinogens with me."
He let out a small gasp in fake disbelief, "I've never done such a thing, Miss Hayes."
"I don't believe you. No one writes such a shit song on just weed alone."
"Okay enough of your backchat." Alex argued, but he broke out in laughter at her chosen adjective to the song. "I know it's shit but it's still getting put out, it was a very monumental moment for us. New band member and all."
She moved her head up and tilted it back to look at him with an amused expression, "Yeah, very monumental with your new Glockenspiel player bandmate that doesn't even play a thing in it." The sarcasm making him giggle and the contagious sound had her giggling with him.
After their laughter died back down, Ella felt the ball move back up her throat. And maybe it was the way she held him that little bit tighter which gave her away, but Alex didn't hesitate to pull her the tiniest bit closer and continue to stroke her arm as he asked, "You don't have to stay in here if you don't want to, we can go in the other room?"
She wanted to accept, knowing at least that would make her feel better but the brief feeling of comfort would end up in something worse, "I won't come back in here if I do that... I can't let him take more from me. He's already chewed my heart up, he's not taking anything else."
"Atta girl, see? You're already in the right direction." He could only encourage her. After all, she was going to go about it at her own pace and he'd just be there with her through it.
"I just want the pain to go away. It's not fair." It really wasn't, she couldn't help but think how she was breaking down over and over while Julian could be enjoying his time with whoever it was he'd been seeing. "There's no way he's sobbing at god knows what hour in the morning like I am. How is that fair, Al?"
"It's not, darling." The whole situation infuriated him beyond belief, he wanted to seek revenge for her but not more than he wanted to strip her of the heartbreak. "I wish I could take it all away for you. I really wish I could."
"I just want it all to go away." Ella begged. It was a plea to life, to whoever was up there that thought it was fine to have her go through that.
"It'll pass I promise, and from here it will all just get better and better for you, Ellie. I cross my heart, darling." He'd find a way to pull the strings of the universe if it wasn't soon that it'll all look up for her.
Her hazy mind was able to grasp all that and it was the last thing she remembered before she'd succumbed to slumber, every atom of her being just giving up after the efforts of the past twenty four hours.
She hadn't felt Alex leaving her after he made sure she was truly asleep so she was the tiniest bit disappointed to find herself alone in bed in the morning, without his gentle touch on her to make her feel like all would be alright.
She reprimanded herself, it was just her being greedy at that point—he had been doing more than enough and she shouldn't be asking for more.
Her movements were quiet as she completed her morning routine, trying her best not to wake him up. He'd probably been up most of the night because of her cries, she felt so guilty.
She started making breakfast, finding comfort in the sizzle of the frying eggs and bacon on the pan and the drip of the coffee coming from her Keurig. The toasts were the perfect golden brown and, as she plated everything up for them, she found herself happy over the small victory it was for her to feel even the smallest amount of joy out of cooking a small meal.
Ella decided to move dirty utensils so she could wash them, carefully placing the hot pan in the sink when she saw Alex walking down the hallway and towards the kitchen. He looked to have just come out of the bathroom, she hadn't even heard him leave the guest room in the first place.
She didn't know if it was because of the fact that she was going through the worst heartache of her life, but the sight of him with his hair ruffled and wrinkled clothes shattered her.
Not in a negative way, not that it made her want to drop to the ground and cry, but in the way that she was already mourning the fact that she'd never be able to see him like that ever again. She'd always found him so breathtakingly pretty, but the image was so mundane that it added a layer to his general beauty.
He rubbed his eyes in the most childish way, she almost wanted to scream because of how adorable he looked, "Smells good." was all he said and she grinned like an idiot, filled with gratitude.
She slid the plate towards him on the kitchen counter, "This is the 'thanks for putting up with me yesterday and I'm so sorry for keeping you up all night', kind of like the most popular breakfast on the menu."
He chuckled, looking at the food and then at her. He shook his head with a smile and walked over to hug her, "You don't need to thank me or apologize for any of that. But thank you very much for this, it looks delicious." His arms held her tightly over her shoulders, she hid away on his neck with a smile and her arms around his waist.
They stayed like that for a minute and she tried backing away but he was reluctant to let her go. She pinched his waist and laughed, "It's gonna go cold, Al. Sit down and eat."
Alex left a kiss on her temple before letting go of her and sitting on one of the high chairs to dig into the food.
Ella watched him expectantly as he grabbed some of the food with the fork and placed it on the piece of toast, he lifted it up and took a big bite of it. It was good, really good but he exaggerated his reaction to entertain her.
His moan of satisfaction had her blushing and giving him a bright smile that reached her eyes. "That's really fucking good, Ellie."
She looked down at her own serving of food and timidly said, "Glad you like it."
They continued eating, settled in a comfortable silence and when they finished, he had beat her once again to washing the dishes.
She was leaning on her forearms, by the sink, sipping on her coffee while she watched Alex. The truth is that she wanted to ask for a favor but she was too shy to ask for something else from him. He noticed though, and it was so easy to read on her face that she was dying to say something.
"What's wrong?" His voice was so calm, inviting her to just use her words.
"I, um," Ella rose back up straight, leaving her coffee cup on the kitchen counter. "Could I skip this week at the studio? I would go but I'm sure I won't be the best company while I feel like this."
A sweet smile appeared on Alex's face, "Of course you can. But I have to ask for something in exchange..."
She got the tiniest bit more nervous with that, "Which is?"
"That you let me come over and disrupt your peace every day until you're back."
Ella didn't know what she was expecting but that made her let out a breathy chuckle, "Yeah, sure."
"I could take the camera and record for you as well, so you don't have to tell Ben and Aaron."
"You sure you can work a camera?" She teased, remembering how bad at checking his phone he could be. "A phone is enough of a nightmare for you."
Alex rolled his eyes jokingly, "Yes, I know how to work a camera. How hard can it be?"
She only shook her head, "Okay, I'll get everything ready for you. Are you leaving now?" She checked the time on her microwave and it flashed a 9:25 back at them.
He nodded, drying his hands with one of her kitchen towels. "Just so I can get over with the day as fast as I can and then I'll drive back."
Her eyes froze on his face after he said that. She truly was so glad he was there with her and so willing to stay around. She nodded, and when her gaze fell to his wrinkled and tear stained shirt she frowned.
"I'm gonna lend you a shirt so I can wash yours," She pointed at it, "I ruined it."
"No you didn't. It's fine." The singer spoke back, really not worrying about it but she was quick to shake her head and leave to get a shirt out of her closet.
He followed and when he walked through her door, she was looking through her shirts. "C'mere, choose whichever you'd like. Those are the biggest shirts I have." She waved him over and he complied.
He grabbed the first black shirt he saw and when he unfolded it, he laughed. It read 'Boot, Scoot, Boogie' and it had a pair of cowboy boots beside the big words.
"It's a good country classic, to be fair." She commented with a very amused grin on her face.
Alex lifted the shirt up in the air, "Thanks, Miss Tennessee."
She felt the squeeze in her chest, the last time he'd called her that was when he'd written it in the back of their photobooth pictures—one's that were hidden away in one of her drawers in between pages of her photo albums.
"You're welcome." Ella gave him a tight lip smile, "Now go get ready, before the guys start calling you non-stop"
He waved her off, "Already told them I'd be running late."
He walked into the guest room to gather his things and put them in his pockets, changing his shirt for Ella's and he knew he'd be in the best mood all day because the second the piece of clothing was on, he was drowning in her scent.
Flowers, sweetness and that small hint of tender woods.
He was already drunk on it when he came out, maroon shirt in hand and with a beaming grin on his face.
Ella smiled seeing him with the new shirt, "Suits you well."
"Thank you, darling." Bet it looks better on you. "I'll be back later, alright?"
She nodded, exchanging the shirt in his hand for the camera bag. "You take care of that like a child, Turner."
"I will, I promise." Alex let his arm drop dramatically making it seem like he was gonna drop the bag on the floor causing her to gasp loudly.
He started cackling, her face tinting pink at how easily she'd fallen for his prank. "You dick!"
She pushed him lightly and he started walking towards the front door, "Alright, alright. I'm leaving now." He stopped as she opened the door and right before exiting he opened his arms to hug her.
Ella gracefully walked into them, he wrapped them around her and made them both sway in the embrace. "See you later, Al."
"See you soon, darling." A kiss was left on her temple before he left.
She watched as he carefully placed the bag on the floor of the passenger side and, when he backed out into the road, he waved at her before leaving.
Her chest started feeling heavy again, those hours without Alex there would be hard but she had to power through them.
She remembered his words, 'the hurt will go and the beauty will remain'. She couldn't wait for that day to come.
✦✧✦✧✦✧✦✧✦✧✦✧
A/N: I think that after this you can come to the conclusion that I'm an absolute whore for some angst, I love it so much. Bless Ella though, so sorry girl. Hope you enjoyed this one, shit is getting real now... See you soon with the next one, thank you a billion for reading! xx
Taglist: @imagine-that-100 @red---moon @kennedy-brooke @faveficz @indierockgirrl @ladydraculasthings @moonvr @unwantedlovergirl @eaglestar31 @nikisfwn @funniestpersoninnyc @andrearroe @justacaliforniandreamer @alexturnersgf69
#alex turner#alex turner x reader#alex#turner#arctic monkeys#alex turner arctic monkeys#alex turner fanfiction#alex turner fanfic#alex turner fluff#alex turner one shot#alex turner blurb#alex turner drabble#alex turner imagine#alex turner fic#alex turner x you#alex turner x y/n#matt helders#nick omalley#jamie cook
95 notes
·
View notes
Text
Uh Oh
The YR Season 2 Teaser dropped yesterday? You know what that means ! *Fires up the Chainsaw*
The Palace:
Personally, I think it was very clever of the YR PR team to release the first 4 minutes of Season 2 in replacement of a supposed trailer (eventhough one will likely come) because this does something very different to that of a montage of clipped, edited snippets throughout the entire season - Here, we're given a tonal opening.
Right from the get go, the transition from Wille's soft, intimate dream sequence to reality is indicated through a colour shift, and thus within moments of 0 dialogue an obscure location setting, we understand the gravity that the consequences of Season 1 has had. The golden-hued, saturated colour composition of Wille's dream is ruptured upon opening his eyes, whereby a greyish-blue seeps in through the curtains and he remembers where he has woken up. Simon isn't here. Actually, he never was. Unfortunately, Wille is in the single worst place on Earth. The Palace.
Even just by this subtle indication, the Palace becomes this sterile, de-saturated environment and we realise that the extent of the ending of S1 has, in fact, extended to the building itself. To Wille, the Palace takes upon this sombre reminder of the loss of hope. And despite never being a home, it's even less of a house now, because it's haunted.
The Walk:
This idea of the Palace being haunted is solidified in this small scene because Wille takes on the persona of a ghost.
The interaction between himself and the Cleaner/Housekeeper is weird, especially considering the royal settings, because all usual pleasantries are abandoned. Instead, Wille walks past, and she offers him no more then a quick glance, before continuing with her work. And it's not a look of acknowledgement either, it's more so the look you give when you hear a noise, wondering where it came from.
In turn, the camera follows him through the dimly-lit corridor as he stalks through it, the white shirt making him look almost-hollow. It's hinted at the gothic and I love it, because it makes so much sense. When a character is ruined, deprived and lost, they're not really full anymore, they're drifting through states longing for warmth. That's what Wille is doing right now. All of his desires (as seen in the very first 20 seconds) are confined to dreams, where he can escape the sadness of reality and experience a different plain, but that is his only solace.
Even now, he is both unrecognisable to himself and to staff of the palace. He's so far from who he was that when he got so close to experiencing something that felt like his, it was brutally stripped away and stomped on. Now, all that's left is himself (whoever that is) an his grief (wherever that's getting stored - It's pestering and sweltering). This is really just me wanting to start a ghost choir tbh.
The Blazer and The Portrait:
How has all of this pain, this line of ascension, this sense of missing and longing and wishing been compacted into a blazer? Erik's blazer.
I could cry over this picture - It doesn't fit at all. It's too big on the arms and at the waist. The crown has lost all of its significance, because now the blazer grips the body, but on Wille it's oversized because it was never meant for him. None of this was ever really meant for him. None of the plans made were catered towards him, the narrative followed someone else and he was supposed to be a supporter. A bystander. But now, the room is empty. The stand holds a piece of what waits for him, but it feels all too wrong and uncomfortable because it was Eriks.
His body is distorted in it because he's trying to fit the role of something that was never tailored to him, but he's desperate to feel some sort of closeness to Erik. He's hugging it tighter around himself in the hopes that he'll feel like Erik, assured and confidant, or even better, that he'll feel Erik, his compassion and his warmth. He's just a kid. Isn't that enough? He's just a kid who misses his big brother and who just wants a hug.
Not just this, but Erik's portrait is in the frame and is placed behind Wille, which has so many meanings, such as: 1.) Erik is subverting the theme of pressured surveillance by looking almost fondly, or sadly on his doting brother, like he understands that from his death, Wille now must fill his shoes, and he has to bare witness to the trials and tribulations that Wille is about to face, 2.) Wille is trying to emulate Erik's confidence and grace, of which are all encapsulated in this blazer as the framing lends itself to parallelism - The blazers present on Erik, but it looks neater, refined, right, like it's meant to, but on Wille it just looks strange.
How else can you say 'I miss you so much' when the other person isn't here to hear it? How else can you articulate 'I wish you were here. Or at least, I wish I were more like you, so then maybe in some part you would be here.' other than trying to picture their clothes, their face, their eyes? How else are you supposed to ask 'God, I wish that you would tell me what do to. How did you do it so well? How do I do it as well as you?' other than wearing their blazer and hoping that it'll wrap you up and take you away from all fo this? When you can't sleep, and you can't weep, and you can't put a name to your pain, what else are you meant to do than miss them and hope that it's enough?
The Tin:
I know I said that I could cry at the last picture, but this really is the last reason to push the stake further in. Just look at it, it's so-
Of course, just to plop the cherry on top of the cake, Wille ruffles in the inside pockets and finds this little tin (Is it a match tin?) engraved with 'Once A Brother, Always A Brother'.
This little addition offers the only reciprocal of Wille's love, as well as offering the only validation of his feelings, because it works both ways. As well as being Crown Prince, Erik was the only one that Wille wholeheartedly trusted, and felt like he could tell anything to. That's a special person, and it's a unique relationship when it happens, one that is precious. But Wille is also Erik's brother, and there is likely a part of him that feels responsible for carrying on his legacy, both out of love and out of duty. In this situation, the lines are so blurred it's hard to tell where devotion starts and obligation ends.
Not just this, but the fact that it's a match tin (as far as I'm aware) and in S1 Wille's flame was 'ignited' shows how Erik has always been present throughout Wille's journey.
I would just want Wille to know that Erik loved him so much, and that he would've been so supportive and proud of his little brother. Now I'm going to go burst into flames tears, 'xcuse me.
The Burning and The Mirror:
Now, I'm no pyromaniac, nor have I dabbled in arson, HOWEVER-
Notice how, through the framing, Wille's face somewhat replaces August' in the mirror after Wille has burned it away? His flame has been ignited, and now it's manifesting within himself. The burning itself is significant because it's an act of self-rebellion, and provides a little bit of catharsis.
Through this, Wille is actively erasing August from the narrative and distancing him from his Brother, who isn't here to do it for himself. Perhaps one of the main things that Wille is trying to protect is Eriks legacy, particularly in relation to his previous friendship with August, who Wille already stated at the end of S1 is "no longer a part of his family." It's just that now Wille has reason to act upon his desires.
But also, the way in which the 4th wall is broken is equally as significant - Beforehand, when Wille first breaks the 4th wall in S1, it's in the Apology issue and the camera creeps closer until it receives the warranted reaction from something that is suffocating and intrusive. But now, he breaks the fourth wall through the perspective of the mirror, looking at us through a reflection, as if we're stood behind him (The question this begs is whether that's in solidarity for Reputation Era or that we as an audience represent the lingering presences that he's ready to banish, displaying the conviction he has about August).
Either way, our presence is acknowledged, this time against the framework of consequences as opposed to the previous one in S1 of expectation.
And I understand that revenge is not always the healthiest means of healing.....HOWEVER-
The Eriksson House and The Acceptance:
IT'S THE GROOVY GANG !
This is a slightly different representation of the Eriksson home than we've seen before, as usually it's dark and the mains rooms we've seen are the kitchen, the living room and Simon's room, and initially when I watched this I thought that they had moved (The threat of getting doxxed, the presence of the press etc) It could be a possibility, or it's just that we're seeing a different image of the home.
It appears much lighter and airier, comprised of pastel greens and windows, which offers the impression that maybe the family are in a better place now due to the stark contrast between this home and the Palace.
Also - I'm guessing that the letter Sara gets is for her acceptance for residency at Hillerska, right? But the placement of the acceptance letter is both for narrative sake, like kickstarting Sara's journey regarding staying at Hillerska as well as externalising her wants - Acceptance. Throughout S1, that is all Sara wanted and all that she craved for, and now, this is the first sign of her integrating into the Hillerska environment and hoping that she is accepted beyond admission. I'm really excited to see how her story plays out !
HONOURABLE MENTIONS:
Wille simply just closing the door on Kristina. No shouting. No crying. No clipped words. Just the simple act of rejection.
More indications to August' eating disorder/body dysmorphia (He's an extremely nuanced character, and I still stand by the fact that resenting a character for their actions whilst acknowledging their nuanced portrayal are not mutually exclusive. Thanks critical thinking, luv you babes <3)
The music that played after Wille lit up Augusts face? Already SLAPS. I'm so excited for this years soundtrack !
Well, I'm down with freshers flu atm so this genuinely took all of my brain power and now I am s P e N t. But, please let me know what you think !
#young royals#young royals spoilers#young royals netflix#yr season 2 spoilers#yr s2 spoilers#young royals season 2 spoilers#lisa ambjörn#analysis#it's like giving crumbs to pigeons out here#one 4 minute teaser and suddenly none of us know how to act anymore
161 notes
·
View notes
Text
It's rumored one of the main 6 are going to die and I'm scared!
FIRST OFF! Potential spoiler warning for the Hazbin Hotel series! Also, this is a bit of a read. My angsty Fanfic loving/writing brain is going crazy over this!
Ok, y'all, I am extremely anxious right now! Since Hazbin came out, I have heard almost every day that Viv has stated that some characters were going to die in the show. No specifics, just "characters". Makes me a little nervous, but I mean... Majority of the cast are Sinners, and all of Heaven is out to slaughter all Sinners, so you figure SOMETHING might happen.
BUT THEN I have been hearing that one of the Main 6 (Al, Niffty, Sir Pen, Angel, Husk and Vaggie) is going to die. There are a lot of theories, a lot of opinions, and a lot of threats to stop watching the show if certain characters die, which is understandable!
And I have my own Theory/Opinion on this, and it's heartbreaking and it makes me anxious, but I think it would be one of the most devastating deaths as well as a pretty drastic turning point for certain characters.
Using this scene as my inspirations:
That there is a picture of Angel and Husk together (Edit: I saw somewhere else that it was actually a picture of the two of them, Niffty, and Sir Pen, but my post still stands, lol), taped to (I'm assuming) Angel's door, and Charlie is very visibly distraught by looking at it. Here are my thoughts:
If any of the Main 6 are going to die, I believe it's going to be Husk, and I believe fully that it will be at Valentino's hands. During episode 4, Angel and Husk start becoming close. From the direction of the episode, we can assume that they will begin to become friends (at least), a pair who can openly confide in each other and who can be fully open and truly themselves with each other. I can see Husk being one of the first people (aside from maybe Cherry) that Angel truly cares about and loves (either platonically or romantically), and I can see Husk having a huge impact on his confidence and his strength to fight against the life he's been dealt, making him believe that there IS actually a chance for redemption for him.
But that life is run by Valentino, who we have seen, is not one to be messed with. Psychopathic, Manipulative, extremely jealous, easily enraged Valentino. In episode 4, we get a pretty hefty glance at what he is capable of when he is angry. He was already prepared to storm the Hotel and gleefully murder everyone simply because Angel was living there and not returning his calls and messages.
Now, imagine he finds out that Angel is ACTUALLY thinking about leaving Val. Imagine he finds out that Angel is actually going to try going through with the redemption, and imagine he finds out WHO made him feel like he could actually go through with it. When Valentino realizes how close Angel and Husk are, and how much of an impact Husk has on his "property", he is not going to be happy, and he is not going to be thinking clearly, and if Vox or Velvette are too busy with THEIR side quests to keep him in line, we have a pretty clear idea of what he might end up doing.
Now, I have 2 potential ideas for this. Either Val goes to collect Angel and force him out of the Hotel, and Husk gets in the way, trying to protect Angel OR Val, in his rage, specifically targets Husk as a way to devastate Angel and remove Husk from the equation.
*Quick note to add that I am aware that Overlords may not be able to fully kill other sinners, if we take anything from Velvette saying that Val tore apart her best model and she couldn't wait for her to "pull herself back together". That would imply that, although Val killed the model, she would regenerate again after some time. However, I'm certain Val has his ways to truly get rid of the people who wrong him, or else why would anyone actually be scared to be on his bad side? He has the power, I'm sure he has access to weapons, he has his ways*
Regardless, Husker dies at Valentino's hands. Everyone is horrified. Angel is devastated. But seeing Valentino, laughing over Husker's corpse, shatters Angel and pushes him over the edge. I believe this could lead Angel to finally, truly attack Val, and if not kill him, at least cause some massive damage.
But this would also lead Angel into completely turning his back on the Hotel, his friends, and any thought of redemption. Any progress that he might have made thanks to Husk would be completely trashed. As someone who struggles with trying to find ANY hope in life, I can say that it is SO MUCH HARDER to have faith that life will be good when the few good things you have get taken away. And if he were to FINALLY be able to accept that there was hope, and that hope led to the death of one of the only people he trusted and cared about, that pain and disappointment would just solidify the mentality that he doesn't deserve a good life, and trying to attain one wouldn't be worth it anyways.
There are, of course, a lot of potentials following this. Let's say Husk's death is temporary and he regenerates, or Alastor finds a way to use their contract to bring him back, there could be a whole bit where Husk goes out to find Angel and bring him back and convince him everything is going to be alright. Or if the death is actually death, perhaps the Hotel family have to go out and try to find him and bring him to safety before the next extermination starts.
WHATEVER THE CASE MAY BE! I think that one of the most impactful deaths, as of right now, would be Husker or Angel. Sir Pentious, as much as I love him, he really hasn't done much yet for his death to be devastating. Same with Al, although I think that would spook EVERYONE because of just how powerful he is. I think the next most devastating would be Vaggie, honestly, because that would impact Charlie so heavily, and we already see glimpses of who she can truly be when she gets angry. And that could be a WHOLE MESS!
Anyways, I am done with my rant! I know that there are holes in the theory, I know it may not actually happen, but that's the fun of just being creative and making shit up!
11 notes
·
View notes
Note
if it's okay, would you mind sharing your art process? your style is SO gorgeous dude. keep it up spardacest nation!!!
Thank you so much anon, and of course!
I kinda posted about it on twitter a while ago, but for anyone not also on there, here's a paraphrasing of what I said there!
(under a cut bc it's gonna get a bit long)
(speedpaint video from procreate mostly bc like I also said in that post, it's one of the few pieces I've done entirely on procreate and thus entirely recorded kdfjhdk I usually don't do the sketching + painting parts on there but every now and then I get lazy and want to get it all done quick in one program lol! It's not as good as it would look if I were using krita to render (which is what I normally use) but it gets the idea across decently of what it is that I do)
The short version of my process is:
sketch, clean up sketch for lineart, then flat colors, then paint over the flats (i make the flats my shadows and paint on the light), then a multiply layer for skin details (like lips, eyebags, etc), then an overlay layer for skin transparency details (red over the ears/nose/fingertips etc), then i do hair over the lineart, then a multiply layer with the contact shadows in a light beige/grey/neutral tone on top of everything else, and then i unify layers, paint over the details, and color correct the HELL out of it
The longer version is:
SO, first of all, I will say, my entire process for a finished/fully redered piece is pretty scattered and uses a lot of different apps, because after many years of trying out different drawing apps I found that I just worked better when I could incorporate the parts I liked best from each individual one rather than having to adapt to another app entirely!
In total, what I use is: autodesk sketchbook and procreate for the first half I do on my ipad, then krita and photoshop on my computer when I'm actually rendering (but any photo editing app instead of ps will do, I'm just used to photoshop bc that's what I learned as my first drawing app WAAAY back in the day lol), and then meitu on my phone for color filters (also any phone editing app with filters in it will do), AND also optional just for references: blender and daz3d on computer + magicposer on my phone
The actual step by step of what I do:
First of all, if I want to do a detailed, well rendered piece I will start by getting my references ready. That means either just grabbing a screenshot from the game if it's like, a simple portrait, or a photo reference, taking a picture of myself in the right pose/lighting, and if it's something more complex I will recreate the scene in Daz3D to simulate a realistic lighting, OR even just blender (i have the game models for the dmc characters downloaded, so I can just pop them in, pose them and change the lighting to get a realistic idea of what shadows their faces will cast in that specific angle/lighting.)
Note: references are pretty essential to me, and there's nothing to be ashamed about for using them! Personally I don't struggle a lot with the drawing/sketching part of art, but my tiny little pea brain cannot fathom how to make an object 3D in my mind, and how to visualize shadows realistically... thus the reliance on 3D programs to do that for me, and then all I have to do is draw what I'm seeing lol. My art improved significantly ever since I started making 3D refs so I could get /exactly/ what I needed - there's still a lot of leeway you need to learn though, because as realistic as the lighting will be in a rendering program, you'll never really get a fully natural looking image, as far as stuff like the body stretching/squishing/pulling when it's in movement, facial expressions, folds in clothing/fabric, etc... so really it's more a guide than something meant to be followed 1:1.
Then, once I'm confident I know exactly what I'm gonna draw/have the idea in my head, I start sketching it in sketchbook. Not really getting very in depth, just blocking out rough shapes - I like sketchbook and to be on my ipad for that because it feels very reminiscent of traditional sketching on paper to me, which while I'm not super confident on my traditional art abilities, I do get the most natural/fluid/non-stiff figures out that way.
Then when I think I have the general idea ready, I export the sketch layer as a png and import it into procreate - which is where I kinda start picking at the sketch and polishing it like i'm carving it out haha. Lots of liquify tool, flipping the canvas to check if it's even, blending out some of the lineart to help out with the rendering later, and then polishing up what was once the sketch into serviceable lineart. I usually reimport it back into sketchbook at this stage - while I like procreate for drawing I don't love the brushes I can use for lineart there, and so I usually only draw the "base" naked figure in there - when I'm in sketchbook I use a hard pencil to refine the details, then on a separate layer add all the things "on top" like hair, clothing, etc - usually I can get it pretty easily in one go, and once I'm satisfied I erase the naked body under the clothes and unify the lineart layers.
Then I will just do the flats with a hard brush, turning the lineart layer into an overlay layer and coloring things in with the shadow colors.
At this point, I export the file as a psd and import it on my computer - I give it a once over in photoshop first to see if there needs to be any adjusting (like whether any layer that has an effect needs to have a different effect, if all the colors look right since the ipad screen isn't the most faithful, if i wanna change the background color, etc), and once I think it's ready enough, I open it up in krita, where I do the actual bulk of the painting/rendering (as to why specifically krita: it's because I've gotten very comfortable with the brush/painting brush dynamics there and cannot seem to get as good results anywhere else, it's just the goldilocks spot of a brush for me haha.)
If anyone's curious, here's the brushes I usually use for painting:
The one in the middle is my go to painting brush, left one for tinier/more refined details, right one for blending out soft shadows (though I learned the hard way to not overuse it, or it will look like I went ham with an airbrush tool lol).
(I don't change any of the settings on these brushes, so if you wanna try out the exact ones I use! Just fresh off how they come out the app haha)
I paint on the lights on top of the shadows, and just focus on that for the time being - once I'm done with the basic painting, I'll make a separate multiply layer for details like lip color, eye waterlines, makeup if there is any, eyebags, etc, and then adjust the opacity until it feels right - then I'll make an overlay layer with skin translucency details (like, when you hold your hands in front of a light and see the tips of your fingers become bright orange - many parts of your body are always a bit translucent to the blood underneath, specifically parts where the skin is thin like noses, cheeks, joints, knuckles, etc, and I found it makes the character look a lot more alive to add that subtle coloring in) - then usually I do hair on a separate layer on top of the lineart (because that way I can add small flyaways, more details, etc, and just use the lineart as a guide)
After that, I'll usually make a multiply layer on top of everything where I'll add contact shadows in a neutral color (usually pretty pale, it'll be darker anyway since it's multiply), and once I feel like I've rendered everything out properly, I save the psd and re-open it on photoshop.
In photoshop, I'll mess around with the layers a little bit more (changing hue/saturation, opacity, etc), fuck around with the background to make it look pleasing, and once I'm happy with it, I'll unify the layers and start color correcting - usually by duplicating the unified layer and messing with the curve/hsl of the image and then changing the opacity of that edited layer until it's as strong or muted as I want it to be - then I also edit the RGB curves individually and adjust the opacity of that also (because I just really like how it ends up looking if I give a bit of a red/warm tint to the shadows lol), and at that point often I will reimport the finished image into procreate for some finalizing touches! Like, blending out shadows that came out too harshly, painting over anything that came out not the way I wanted it, redefining the lineart if it got messy during painting, and adding any extra small detail that might have gotten lost like catchlights, hair shines, hair flyaways, tears, etc. I also do one last round of flipping the canvas and liquify if needed!
At this point, I export the finished image both to my computer and my phone - on my phone I open it up on the photo editing app, and add a bunch of different color filters - I don't hesitate from going completely balls to the walls here, and just kinda applying as many filters as will make an image look pleasing to my eye.
Once I think it looks good, I'll export the edited image to my computer - and then open both the version without filters and the one with them on photoshop, and use the filtered version as an opacity layer, and adjust it until it doesn't look as crazy anymore lol.
One last step I recently started incorporating was also changing the image to grayscale after I'm done, and doing one last round of curves in greyscale to make sure the values look right, and nothing is getting too lost because the values are too similar (because i know i get a bit swept up in getting repulsed by harsh contrasting lighting and can end up washing out all of rendering if I don't check myself kjdfgk)
AND that's it!
Yes it's a pretty long and chaotic process, but it's coming from years of trial and error and realizing I can just let myself fo whatever makes me happier with the results, and I don't have to stay constrained to one program if I don't like every tool it has to offer/don't have to accept the final image fresh off the painting app as the "finished" image with no adjustments allowed after, lol. I don't find it takes a lot more time than if I didn't do it this way, but YMMV.
Hope this was helpful and sorry for taking so long to explain! I just wanted to give a thorough explanation dfhdkhkx
#asks#sorry i know its a bit chaos hfdgd#but i hope its helpful anon! thanks for asking#also for anyone wondering#no i am not paying for ps lmao#fuck adobe#it is always morally correct to pirate adobe products people#if you have an alternative photo editing app you like best youre welcome to use it#but if youre too used to photoshop. everything is free on the internet if you know where to look#i also wouldnt recommend meitu bc it feels like a pretty sketchy app all things considered#im just too lazy to care to change my go to app but i would look for a different phone app#p sure theres billions that let you add funky color filters instead#actually i think you could use photoshop camera raw filters for that too#its just way too intensive of a process for my tiny potato computer and it feels a lot faster + seamless on phone
11 notes
·
View notes
Note
I'm so curious what is your writing process like? I'm floored by how fast you write yet the quality is always sososo high. Do you have a beta? Are you a god? What..how..😱
Please get some sleep
Ahhhh Hi Bestie!
Um you're so sweet???? This is so nice??? Thank you so much??????
TO ANSWER YOUR QUESTION
....probably don't fully approach writing like I do if you're trying to write because I approach it like a trash goblin in a human suit trying to make things BUT here's what I do!
When I get the idea for a story (fan fic, novel, screenplay, whatever) it usually comes character first. There's someone who intrigues the hell out of me whose story I want to write and then I just have to figure out what their story is. The second part usually comes pretty quick, at least one or two major story moments and the climax and the resolution at least. Then I think through how to get them there and what kind of journey is going to be the most impactful for them. Then I write that down in the form of a story map where I lay things out beat by beat (these notes are usually very vague, like 2 or 3 words per chapter, my vision is far from fully realized) and then write down some basic stuff about the main characters. Actually write it, too, I've got a real cute lil' notebook that I have my story notes and any poems I've written lately (and my D&D notes) in it and I carry it around everywhere when my brain is feeling particularly creative.
This is where the trash goblin takes over because then I just write it. The story map is pretty fluid, I don't think I've ever stuck to one entirely, it always shifts and changes depending on what I get up to narratively. Sometimes that's just story beats stretch longer than I thought so they span several chapters instead of one, sometimes I change my mind on something altogether (like in Yearling, the stable incident with Simon was originally something else entirely but I was like "wait no that doesn't make as much sense, this feels convoluted, doing something else now" and took place in a slightly different spot). When I'm writing, I kind of picture what happens in my head like I'm watching a movie. The characters have their conversations, I write those down, describe how they're feeling, what stuff looks like, etc. The downside to this is the movie of this shit is literally ALWAYS ON in my head and will NOT go away until I write it. The angst that's coming in Yearling? Been playing in my head on a loop for weeks. IT'S DRIVING ME INSANE SEND HELP.
Once I get a chapter done, I give it a quick read mostly for grammar and stuff and to make sure it flows right (and there aren't a bunch of repeated words and stuff - I was a copy editor previously in my career but copy editing your own stuff is tricky so this is a questionable process) and then I post it. No betas, no editors besides myself, generally very little rewrites (I'll rewrite a chunk of a chapter once every like 20 chapters or so, it's rare.) I just throw all these words on the page and then hurl them at y'all and you're kind enough to make super sweet comments like this!
I'm so happy you think my work is high quality and written quickly!! I think I've finally adjusted from the schedule I was keeping for Lavender so it no longer feels like I'm slacking only putting out 2-3 chapters a week but it still doesn't feel like I'm quick lol so thank you for that, too!
And as far as the sleep goes? You saw nothing, definitely not me posting at 3 a.m., don't tell my therapist, everything is fine here.
JK I'm largely just fine! I've always been a night owl and function fine as long as I get a total of 6 hours of sleep, even if that's between a nap and an overnight sleep. It's probably not the best but eh, I'm having fun.
Thank you again for reading and for being so kind!! So happy you're here. Love you!!
15 notes
·
View notes
Text
How to submit your OC!
In this post I will walk you through submitting an original character to this blog.
Some quick things before we get started:
No fandom OCs; unless the material is a rewritten form of the source (making it your own original world). This is so we keep fandom drama to a minimum.
You are allowed to submit OCs from species groups, friends' worlds, and roleplays (unless fandom roleplays).
You can submit multiple characters, but they will be spaced out from each other.
You can send an ask to the blog to request your OC's post be edited or deleted. Be sure to provide a link to the character, and what exactly you would like edited.
Please do not use slurs for your character. We will edit any slurs out, even if you can reclaim.
Do not include bottom nudity of your character (genitals and butt). Shirtless is fine, but it will be tagged as nudity no matter the chest type. Furries do not count as long as the genitals are not exposed.
NO NSFW WRITING. NO TALKING ABOUT CHARACTERS' SEX LIVES. If your character is from an 18+ story, clarify that, but do not include NSFW in the submission itself.
Submitting characters anonymously or from blank blogs will never be allowed.
Co-owned characters are allowed, but only one person can submit said character.
Let's get started!
The basic layout will be a MAIN IMAGE and a BRIEF SUMMARY OF THE CHARACTER, and a WHERE TO READ or WHERE TO FIND: While everything else will be under a readmore. We will not keep up with these characters, so you must send an ask to this blog if anything needs to be changed.
First, choose a MAIN IMAGE for your OC. If something wasn't drawn by yourself, CREDIT THE ARTIST.
If art turns out to be uncredited we will delete the post and you will not be allowed to submit that character again. (Make sure to include one landscape image or square image as a main picture; portrait images take up too much room on the dashboard. If you do not provide one, one of the images will be cropped.) If you want a specific image as the MAIN IMAGE and you do not set up the layout for us, be sure to clarify so.
Second, type up a very brief summary of your character. Keep it very brief; three sentences at the longest!
Third (if applicable), provide links to anywhere to find this character besides this blog. This includes character tags, a Toyhouse page, a webcomic, ETC.
EVERYTHING BEYOND THIS POINT WILL BE UNDER A READMORE.
Fourth, choose 2 more images of your character. These can be put at any parts under the readmore, they do not have to be side-by-side.
Fifth, type up an extended explanation of your character. If you are having trouble simply explaining your character, you can also provide a snippet of your writing (if the writing is a comic, it will not go toward the image total, but do try to keep it short. We will adhere to the Tumblr image total rules.)
Sixth is a free-for-all! You can put whatever else you want under the readmore: Character quotes, Pinterest boards, testimonials about the character, playlists & songs, ETC!!! Ramble and have fun with talking about your character; you worked hard on xem. Screenshots and non-character pictures do not go toward the image total of 3.
If you have any questions about what you can include, feel free to send an ask. We will try to answer as helpfully as possible.
DISCLAIMER: We will edit submissions as we see fit so they are understandable and does your character the most justice possible. If you are afraid you are not following the layout don't worry too much about it! Your submission will be edited if need be. Mostly editing typos and fixing layout issues; we will not remove information about your OC unless it is NSFW or generally inappropriate. As I said before, if there is something you would like us to change about your character's post once already posted, send an ask to this blog.
Thank you for reading! I hope to see all your wonderful stories.~!
16 notes
·
View notes
Text
some notes on mr. john "jack" overton
vaguely mysterious owner who does not do public appearances (will show up pretending to be an employee or just a random person though because Ego)
very present in the pizzap.lex, which employees know, but guests never see him (they actually do, but he's quick to lie and claim he's a technician/etc)
gets away with lying about being the owner because the employees know he does this and they just figure he's a private person who doesn't like the spotlight
known for being eccentric and pretty withdrawn, but like. in a Wacky Fun Way lmao. still seems as friendly, but he's not really putting on his Classic William Af.ton Persona anymore
absolutely does not give a fuck anymore, will stab you to death without any warning just because you're alone with him and pissed him off. has only gotten better at covering up employee deaths
if you bring up william af.ton/the "stories" about the older pizzerias, he'll act like he isn't that familiar with them, but he's delighted on the inside
still has insane fashion and isn't questioned because it fits the glamr.ock vibe
long hair don't care—
not only does he make a new spring bon.nie costume (a la glitch), but at some point he like. starts feverishly working on making a new sprin.glock suit because he "has to do it"
sorry losing my mind over the idea of glamr.ock golden bon.nie. but like. a springl.ock suit. years of improving his skills making animatronics has gotten him here
"he built another spring.lock suit after getting almost killed?" we're talking about william af.ton jack overton here. also it's better built but STILL
literally has no life outside of the pizzapl.ex and his "work." will lie about this. his only thing now is rebuilding his family (or reclaiming if, for example, mike is alive)
lives in a family home with enough rooms for his kids. lives there alone. isn't there often because it's too quiet. still doesn't fully blame himself for that.
as for the pizzapl.ex being built over the PS pizzeria? shrug. without william definitely dead, i'm not sure it's likely mike would be able to move on. regardless, if the PS pizzeria exists, william DID build over it on purpose. goes down there obsessively without any real purpose because it has that connection to both michael and henry
not opposed to having van.ny kill/kidnap for him, but largely prefers doing it himself when possible
this man is teetering on the edge of sanity at all times and i'm begging you to give him that final push LMAO
glitch is fully under his control, although still a semi-sentient AI
does everything he can to hide his springl.ock scars since they're not, uh, easily explainable given how long springlo.ck suits have been out of commission
okay fun facts that are actually fun now:
has a, like, rolodex of coffee orders. was never a black coffee drinker much anyway, but enjoys the Starb.ucks experience. will pay ten dollars for coffee and then bitch about "the old days" and then order more tomorrow.
may vary by portrayal/dynamic, but generally actually likes the glamr.ocks?? like, he felt genuine sentimentality for the funt.imes, and this sort of thing extends to the glamr.ocks (particularly if he made them)
despite everything, does actually enjoy running the business and wants it to do well. i mean, this was always the case, but the man really hasn't got much else going for him anymore. something something his major goal was immortality and now he's achieved it so... what next?
definitely wants to or HAS expanded Fazbe.ar Entertai.nment beyond the Pizz.aplex. this may include other pizza.plexes, smaller chains, or just related businesses not directly managed by him
if you find a picture of william af.ton and comment on how weirdly similar they look, he'll laugh it off very awkwardly and then plan your murder
EDIT: call him jackie. do it.
#˖ ✧ headcanon » ( the demon to his demons )#☆ —— verse ↳ m a k e y o u a s u p e r s t a r.#no headcanon banner because now i need one for this verse/'jack' lmao#no r.uin spoilers btw#my favorite william fun fact is that i came up with him not drinking black coffee due to my fic#made myself laugh abt like#henry: making coffee for will / mike in the bitchiest voice: he doesn't like black coffee
8 notes
·
View notes
Text
Hi. To the anon that just sent me that ask (and no I'm not replying to the ask directly 'cause people don't need to be subjected to it) but this is also just to clarify some things for anyone else who may have similar ideas about me or my characters.
First: Sev and Jai are not the same character. At one point in time, Sev was an AU of Jai but became her own character really quick, though they do still look very similar because of that. To clarify, Jai is a fursona, Sev is just an OC. She is not a sona or a self-insert at this point as her original concept has strayed so far that she is now her own character entirely.
Second: Sev's story is about recovery and finding humanity where many may not. It is not about Sev "being treated like a dog". That's literally the opposite of what her arc is all about. I'm writing it as a way to give the Elrics a sort of do-over to help someone the way they weren't able to help Nina. It is in no way intended to be a 'kink' literally what the heck.
Edit: Adding onto that, even if Sev was a self-insert, I still don't think there would be anything wrong with that. Like I said, her whole thing is literally about not being treated like an animal anymore. Like. Calling her a "self-insert kink so you can be treated like a dog" just proves to me that you haven't read her story at all lol. Sev's story is literally her healing from abuse, not me having a kink. Congrats! You missed the point entirely! Went right over your head!
Third: I have no intention whatsoever to ship Sev in any way, shape, or form with any characters, canon or otherwise. For one, I am aroace and have no interest at all in that, and two, it would be kinda bad/problematic, given the circumstances. Also, it's not super important, I suppose, given what I just said above, but Sev is a child as well. I've never given her exact age here, but outside of a specific AU, Sev is in her young teens and the story takes place post-series, when Ed and Al are adults so. Yeah.
That aside, do you think it's okay to wish someone to be sexually assaulted? Do you think that's a normal thing to tell someone just because you don't like what they do? It's ok if you don't like my character or my story, but please don't accuse me of being something I'm not or wish that kind of harm upon me or anyone else for that matter. It makes you no better than whatever you're trying to project me as.
Still, I hope you're doing okay, anon. Life has got to be pretty miserable if you have this much hate to spew. I think you need to go spend some time outside and find the beauty in the world instead of focusing so much vitriol onto someone on the internet that you don't even know. Maybe you'll be a better person if you focus your efforts outwards in a positive way and help your community and see a change around you rather than seething in your internet angst or whatever.
Here's a picture of my dog for your time.
Be a better person, okay?
#jemwolf talks#im tired...#might delete or edit later - im not in a great headspace rn#long post#anon hate#heavy topics
17 notes
·
View notes
Text
One thing I haven't seen cross my dash is a "how to" tutorial for how to change your icon and header, and I mean. I've been here since 2011, so I'm well versed in this, but I have no clue how the website guides any new users. Maybe it's not nearly as intuitive as I think it is. Genuinely, no judgement here.
So have one I threw together while putting off an email. This is for DESKTOP. Maybe I'll make an app version as well, but I'm hoping that the app maybe guides you if you've just signed up on it.
First you go to the pencil icon in the top right corner of your dash.
It then gives you this drop down menu, and you want to hit Edit Appearance at the bottom.
From there, it takes you to this. You want to hit Edit appearance in the right corner of your blog.
( also recommend enabling custom theme, but that's a post for another day)
Once you've hit that, there's two pencils you can click. The one on the upper right, below Cancel and Save lets you edit the header.
Like this. You can play with the stretch header image toggle to see if it works better for whatever picture you choose. You can zoom in and reposition however you like.
The bottom pencil over your icon will bring up this. If you toggle Show avatar off, it just won't display your icon whenever someone clicks to preview your blog, it'll still be visible on the dash. You can change the shape to either circle or square. It's all personal preference.
Make sure you hit save and you're good!
I also recommend at least putting something in the header text. I obv have some Taylor Swift lyrics on the top, and then some very basic info about myself in the main body. You can put as much or as little as you like. You don't have to put your legal name. I know some people I follow have just a random quote or sentence there, and nothing else, and I personally don't think anything of it. But just put something to at least indicate you're a real person. Even something like "idk what i'm doing here". Yep. Sounds like the average tumblr user to me lmao (until the bots pick that up and well...if you have enough genuine posts on your blog you should still be safe)
And if I can give any other advice for newcomers: You're not here to be popular. You're not here for clout. You're here to be you. You don't have to give anyone you know IRL your url. Be free. Something something release your inhibitions, feel the rain on your skin and all that.
Also, get the XKit extension. It has a ton of handy features like the mass unliker, quick reblogs, some accessibility features, and my personal favorite: post blocker. (Goodbye color of the sky shitpost) Most of XKit, though, you'll have to play with on your own to find out what you do and don't like.
#Tumblr#How To#idk how to tag this lmao#but seriously no judgement if you just didn't know how to change it#i'm someone who will brute force a new skill or website to figure things out#if this helps even one person then great#if not#well i still win bc i got to put off this email for a while kdljfgkjld#long post#also i hope u like my bad squares :)
12 notes
·
View notes
Text
Just felt like putting some random Twst scenes I’ve thought up together in a single post. They’ll be underneath the cut.
It wasn’t until way after I made the post about Book 1 events with my Yuu that I realized I never covered the part following the tart baking scene where everyone got to eat the tarts they made, which would’ve been slightly different with my Yuu.
During the part where Trey is asking everyone their favorite foods so he can use his UM, Yuu would consider his question for a long moment since she’s never really had a favorite food before finally saying that the tart she made with Trey and everyone else is her favorite, which catches Trey by surprise.
Cater jokingly complains that Trey’s already winning the sole female student over with his baking so early into the school year. It’s totes unfair!
While Trey is giving Cater an exasperated look, Ace is calling Yuu a suckup since he thinks she’s just trying to get on Trey’s good side, which earns him a sharp reprimand from Deuce who’s quick to come to her defense lol
After making sure that she really doesn’t have any other favorite food, Trey uses his UM on everyone else’s tarts. After he explains his UM to everyone, he makes a comment that he’s flattered that Yuu loves the tart so much that she wouldn’t want to change its flavor.
Yuu explains that up until that point she hadn’t really ever had a preference when it came to food, so it never crossed her mind to have a favorite, although she does like sweet things and prefers to avoid spicy food.
However, upon eating the tart that she helped Trey make, she found herself really enjoying food for the first time. There’s just something about eating the tart that makes her really happy, so she wouldn’t change anything about it.
When she thanks Trey for the fun experience of baking with him, which she had never gotten to do with someone up until that point, and for allowing her to taste such a delicious tart, Trey gets noticeably embarrassed since she’s so sincere and her eyes are sparkling with happiness and admiration.
(At this point in the story, Yuu hasn’t started smiling, but it’s clear just from looking at her eyes just how happy she is.)
Cater’s taking turns between taking pictures of Yuu who’s “totes adorbs!” and taking pictures of Trey’s flustered face, teasing Trey all the while about how it looks like Trey’s the one who’s getting his heart stolen.
--------
One day, after checking with Riddle to see if there are any rules prohibiting guests bringing treats to unbirthday parties and confirming what’s allowed, Yuu decides to do some experiment baking to make some spicy/not sweet cookies for Cater since most of the food at those parties are sweet, although Trey always does his best to make something with Cater’s tastes in mind.
Sometimes, Yuu just gets the urge to practice her baking, and she often likes to give whatever she makes to someone else. While Grim is often her taste-tester and will eat anything she makes, she tries to avoid giving him too much since he’s already eats enough as it is, and she’s worried about his weight lol
While she normally follows recipes, Yuu sometimes experiments without them since she has enough baking experience to feel comfortable doing so. If she was making something completely new, she’d be hesitant, but in this case, she’s just starting off with a basic cookie recipe and making some edits here and there to get the result she’s looking for.
Thankfully, after some trial and error, Yuu manages to make a satisfactory batch of cookies, which get Grim’s approval.
At the next unbirthday party, Yuu presents the cookies to a very surprised Cater, explaining that she suddenly felt inspired to make something special just for him since she likes to occasionally do that for her friends.
After getting over his surprise, Cater is all over her, gushing about what a cute underclassmen he has and how he’s now the envy of all the NRC boys for getting a special treat from her.
He’s especially thrilled when he sees that the cookies are all diamond shaped. Naturally, he wastes no time in taking pictures for Magicam.
While Cater is doing that, Trey curiously asks what kind of cookies Yuu made since he’s unfamiliar with spicy cookie recipes, and that leads to her explaining how she basically made one up since she didn’t know any either, which catches everyone off guard.
Cater is especially surprised since she literally just said she made a recipe just for him. This is the first time anyone has ever done something like that for him since he’s not used to having close relationships.
Yuu then says she decided to name the cookies “Spicy Diamonds” since every dessert needs a name and Cater was the inspiration so it only makes sense to name them with him in mind, and she just couldn’t come up with a more creative name which Ace and Grim tease her about lol
Cater gets really quiet at that, which concerns Yuu, but just as he always does, Cater quickly rebounds and starts hugging Yuu again, leading to Riddle scolding him for inappropriate behavior at the dining table.
It’s later on as Cater is enjoying one of the cookies Yuu made him that he starts to wonder if this is what having a friend might actually feel like.
--------
While women are normally treated well in Twisted Wonderland, in some countries more than others, Yuu still has to deal with bullying/harassment at times due to her special circumstances since most of the students are under the impression she got into NRC through dishonest means, because she’s female and magicless.
(Amusingly enough, Savanaclaw is the only dorm Yuu doesn’t ever have to worry about in that regard. While they gave her a little trouble at first, they stopped after Book 2 once it became apparent that she was someone Leona actually liked and even respected, although Leona would never actually say as much out loud.)
Compared to what she had to deal with when she was a cage fighter back in her home world, Yuu is relatively unfazed by the bullying since she can handle herself just fine. She knows when she can handle things with just words and when she just needs to escape the premises.
During the times when the only way to get out of these situations is by using physical force, Yuu will do so and normally has no issue since the majority of the NRC students don’t have the kind of fighting skills/experience she does and mostly rely on their magic to solve their problems, which they don’t immediately use because they underestimate her and think they can just use force to get their way.
Unfortunately, sometimes, during the rare occasions when Yuu lets her frustration/irritation get the best of her, she’ll cause more serious physical damage than she intended.
That’s how she ends up in Crowley’s office one day since he wanted to scold her for sending some guys to the infirmary. While he understands that she was technically the victim, he still can’t have a prefect causing that much damage, so he asks her to avoid such outcomes in the future.
(What he doesn’t say is that he’s afraid she’s gonna one day break the bones of one of the students who come from affluential families, and he’ll have to deal with the horrible backlash.)
While Yuu felt she only did what was necessary to defend herself, she does feel somewhat guilty for not holding back more since she knew the guys she was up against were physically weaker than her, so she intends to do better about controlling her strength.
After she leaves Crowley’s office, she finds Crewel waiting for her, and he orders her to follow him. Naturally, this makes her worried that she’s in for another lecture.
Much to her surprise, Crewel ends up taking her to the Mystery Shop, and she finds Sam waiting there for them with some tea and snacks.
Her surprise only grows when she learns that Crewel has no intention to lecture her about what happened with the guys who had been harassing her.
Instead, Crewel bluntly tells her to ignore Crowley and to do whatever she must to keep herself safe. While yes it would be nice if she could avoid sending people to the infirmary, he wants her to value her safety above all else, so if causing that kind of damage is necessary, so be it.
Sam chimes in that he’s seen and heard of a lot worse damage being done in fights on campus, so Yuu has no reason to feel guilty. She is definitely not the bad guy here, so she shouldn’t allow herself to feel like one.
Apparently, Crewel had been in charge of talking to the guys she sent to the infirmary, and he made sure to get the truth out of them. So once he found out that they really were the ones at fault, he wanted to make sure Yuu didn’t get into too much trouble with Crowley when she was only rightfully defending herself since she’s in his homeroom, making her one of his pups.
Sam had been using his shadows to get all the details, so he knew about everything that had happened and what all Crowley had said in his office. He promptly passed along that info to Crewel.
So this little get-together was because the two men were looking out for Yuu and wanting to ensure she was holding up alright after her talk with Crowley. Plus, Crewel just really did not like the idea of the school’s sole female student being told she had to hold herself back when she was clearly the victim.
Yuu is not used to adults actually looking out for her; rather, she’s used to them taking advantage of her, like what Crowley often does, so it really surprises her to see Sam and Crewel on her side like this.
But it really means a lot to her, more than they’ll ever know.
--------
Once Sebek has been inducted into her gaggle of unruly first year sons, Yuu gives him the same affectionate treatment she does the other boys.
Sebek, being Sebeki, always complains whenever she tries to dote on him since he does not appreciate being treated “like a child”.
When he first makes that kind of complaint, Yuu tells him that providing validation isn’t just for children. Sometimes, teenagers and adults need it too, maybe even more so on some days.
That’s why Yuu always wants her friends to know that they’re appreciated and that she’s proud of them. Yes, it can be embarrassing for them to be so sincerely praised by her, but at least, this way she can ensure they know their efforts and hard work are noticed.
Sebek’s complaints come to an abrupt halt at her explanation. When he goes strangely quiet, she resumes ruffling his hair and tells him that she thinks he’s amazing for all his hard work and dedication and that she’s really proud of him.
Once she’s satisfied, she tells him that she’ll leave him alone and wishes him a good rest of the day before walking off, leaving him looking like a very flustered statue.
Several minutes later, she hears the very familiar shout of “HUMAN!” and turns to see Sebek sprinting toward her at great speed, making her worried he’ll plow her right over.
Thankfully, Sebek manages to come to a stop before that can happen. Once he’s in front of her, Sebek declares that he won’t be outdone by her, which confuses her.
He then proceeds to roughly ruffle her hair before telling her that her hard work has been noticed. While she still has no hopes of competing with him, he commends her efforts and encourages her to continue to put forth great effort with her studies and other responsibilities since she has been given the honor to associate herself with Malleus, and he doesn’t want her to do anything that will bring shame to him.
With a surprisingly softer voice, Sebek mentions that he doesn’t mind also being associated with a human like her since she’s not too bad for a human.
After saying that, the flustered boy promptly runs off, not giving Yuu any time to respond.
Once she gets over her surprise, Yuu gets a warm feeling in her chest since she knows how rare it is for Sebek to give praise to anyone other than Malleus and Lilia.
Just goes to show how great validation is, whether you’re the one giving it or receiving it.
-------
At one point, after Book 2, Ruggie tries to enlist Yuu’s help in getting Leona to attend class more. While Yuu knows that Leona doesn’t need to go to class when he’s already learned everything ahead of time, she also realizes that Leona will just repeat another year if he doesn’t get enough class credit.
That’s why she agrees to help out but not in the way Ruggie was expecting.
After agreeing to help, Yuu goes to meet with Crowley to get Leona’s attendance records and class schedules. Once he hears that she wants to help Leona avoid repeating a year, Crowley is very forthcoming with this info since it doesn’t look to good for him or NRC to have a repeater like Leona.
Once she has the materials she needs, Yuu sits down with Ruggie, the resident Leona expert, and she tries to plan out a class schedule Leona would approve of.
Ergo, she figures out just how many class credits Leona needs and what particular days he absolutely must attend a particular class to graduate. She adds that with what parts of the day Leona hates having to go to class, which results in the ideal schedule being born.
Ruggie’s honestly impressed since he really didn’t expect Yuu to put in this much effort. He just thought she’d help drag Leona to class, but this definitely is way more efficient.
Yuu just doesn’t see the point in dragging Leona to class when he obviously gains no benefit from it, so she wanted to ensure he’s only forced to go when absolutely necessary.
She would really like for Leona to avoid repeating a year and start working toward making a future for himself that would give him the same kind of happiness being a king would, so she wanted to do whatever she could to make that as painless as possible for him.
Of course, the other incentive was that Ruggie swiped Leona’s wallet so he could make some tasty treats for her as a reward.
Leona is amused that Yuu went to all the effort of making such a detailed schedule for him since it’s not like he hadn’t already mentally calculated what he needs to graduate before, and he also finds it amusing how she took into consideration what times of day he especially hates going to class and actually made a schedule based off of that.
At first, Leona has no interest in following the schedule since he really doesn’t care all that much about whether or not he repeats another year. However, as time passes, he slowly starts to reconsider, especially on certain days when Yuu expresses her genuine, high opinions of him and says how she thinks it’s too early for someone like him to give up because she sees a future ripe with possibilities for him if he’s willing to try. There’s still plenty that someone as amazing as him could accomplish if he really wanted to do so.
So, eventually, he starts following that schedule Yuu made with Ruggie’s assistance. While he still skips when he feels like it, Leona makes sure that he doesn’t miss out on the credits required for moving onto the next year.
If asked why the sudden change of heart, Leona would say that he’s just tired of sticking around NRC and/or of having to take care of Savanaclaw all the time.
What he doesn’t say is that he might have decided to give Yuu’s words a little consideration, just a little, though.
12 notes
·
View notes
Text
Daily Log 2
Trying out (probably just temporarily) making short daily-ish notes about things, in an attempt to see if it helps me be more reflective or productive lol.
Activities: Much less than yesterday, felt sick and sleepy so barely got anything done. It was also warmer inside today.. Very much dreading summer. I still feel like the people who ~~ love warm weather sooo much~~ must also have central heating and air and are able to escape the warmth, or at least have cool airy houses where they can get cross breezes or something.. I just fail to see how ANYONE could enjoy sweating all day because it's like 75F indoors, etc. grrbb,,, the headaches, sleepless sweaty nights, constant physical discomfort, etc. The next few days look cloudy and rainy though so.. yEs.. haha HA
Got a new charger for my old 2004 nokia phone so it actually turns on now, and recorded myself going through the ringtones and games. I might add the footage to a currently not fully edited video of me also looking through other electronics (old phones, turbo twist math, etc.). I love old ringtones actually and if I were rich, I would love to collect old phones specifically just to have a catalogue of what they're like and all of the sounds they contain.
Managed to have a tiny burst of energy and take photos of 3 outfits before my arms and shoulder started hurting and I got too warm.
Sent email to one doctor.
Translated like 3 words for the Avirrekava poem thing I mentioned yesterday. My language document is not organized very well at all so I've kind of lost my flow of working on it. I've heard about people making searchable dictionary type things for their conlangs, so I'd like to look more into that maybe. As well as making a custom font, though I don't know if that's more difficult for syllabaries (so wouldn't be directly linkable to a plain english alphabet keyboard?? eh?). Anyway, I need to finish the tapestry/painting thing/etc. soon though since I have no good place to put it. The canvas is warping a little just laying haphazardly on my closet floor lol.
Made one quick mspaint background image for the next batch of song snippet things for my jokey music youtube.
Edited like 10 minutes of the Giant Worldbuilding Slideshow Project.. couldn't focus on that either since being at the computer today irritated my shoulders and arms.
Notable sights: Saw 6 baby ducks and their parents swimming in a nearby pond!! It's interesting how their colors seem to change so much, and the young ones have the little spots on their back. Not much else, I was not very active lol..
Goals moving forward: Still working on consistent sleep schedule. Focus on social activities, finding new friends in the places I want to move, communicating with ones I have. Physical therapy exercises. Plant nasturtiums. Finish and upload videos, edit pictures, post the poll adventure thing that has been sitting in a draft for weeks (I thought I would get it done today, but alas.. I don't even have to do much, just proofread and post it, I just keep having no energy/being preoccupied with other things/hurts to be on computer.. grrr.. I want to continue the story lol >:T).
Notable foods: HAD ASPARAGUS YEaaaaaghhhHHHH!!!!!!!!! Asparagus SQUAD!!!!!!!!!! ... Also a few pieces of smoked gouda with lunch, one of my favorite cheeses.
#just posting these publicly since it feels more like I'm doing something or easier to hold yourself accountable if you make public#declarations of goals and progress or etc. .. perhaps.. for now..#I'm just curious to see if it helps. I know some poeple do diary style stuff or etc. on social media to help with productivity so#worth trying for like a week at least lol#tired and sleepy of being tired and sleepy though. Every day that stuff like chronic health problems or weather or etc.#interfere with me getting stuff done and it's all stuff that I've also had on my todo list for like.. weeks at this point it's like.. oughh#insurmountable tasks ever looming piling upon my shoulderes...#I've been 'supposed to call a lab to shedule blood work' for like a week and a half now and everyday I get the number#out and look at it and just go 'hmm.... sooon...' and then suddenly it's 10pm and I didn't#You Know How It Is Folks. I'm going to write myself a script of exactly what to say and also tape it to my computer screen#Sometimes that helps. lol#I dont' feel like I need a full on caretaker or something at this point but someitmes I do think like.. in a few years with my various#physical and mental issues it would be nice to have a Person Who Functions Normally Socially come visit me like once#every two weeks to help me plan things and make phone calls. Same with creative stuff too though. I bet I'd be doing something creative as#a career by now if I had like. an Assigned Neurotypical Extrovert to network for me and help me navigate things like that bjhbhj#hashtag hermit problems. etc. etc. (not just like 'a little weird and asocial' but like.. 'near complete inability to function in society'#type hermit problems lol..#ANYWAY.. ..#Also fighting the urge to have another personality typing phase. I can feel it creeping up. My 'once every 3 months when I get very#interested in the enneagram and other stuff again' type of thing. distracting myself with worldbuilding paintings instead ghgj#why don't you do a phone call for your blood work first maybe then you can spend 3 hours reading about tritypes or whatever#I have so many interests and hobbies but a handful of Main Ones and they never go away I just seem to take turns with them#Except worldbuilding I think that's always there. Genuinely again.. wish I could find some way to work that into a career. that is the only#thing I could to 1000 hours straight at any time of day under any circumstance. Kidnap me and lock me in a basement and I will be passing#my time thinking about what type of cheese elves make and all the things I'm going to write once I escape captivity ghjhj#EVEYRHTING else though lol.. kind of comes and goes. but can be annoying when it's suddenly the only thing my mind#wants to focus on. BUT yeagh.. ANYWAY... rambling again#daily log
6 notes
·
View notes
Note
So I’m honestly asking because I have no clue what you are referring to. Why do you hate Ben Barnes so much? You seem to keep referring to things he did but you didn’t say what. I’m confused but I really have no idea what these bad things are and would like to find out.
Ye really do make me typing like a madman today lol
Said it a million times and I don't hate Benny Boy. Imma just disappointed and also hate is a strong word and I neither have the time nor am I 12 to hate someone online lol
I don't say what he was fucking up cuz this blog is mostly our own lil pond and I generally assume that everyone swimming here should know by now x.x also I've been repeating myself over and over about all of this shite. Scroll waaaay down lol
But since I'm typing...
So the thingies that I personally find to be hurtful, the fangirls been putting a flaming sword up me ass when I mention them. Can ye believe???
The first thing is obvi the half naked photoshoot in a pool, with a minor! which he called romantic! done by a photographer who he called his friend and who also photographed Sofia Richie aged 14/15 like she was a on a cover of the hustler.
Then we have his ongoing association, PUBLIC ASSOCIATION, with a circle of friends that includes scientologist, racists, sex pests, people protecting and vouching for the sex pests some of them currently on trial, also women who engage in victim blaming publicly, and not so surprisingly a cult leader wannabes are in that crowd as well. And again, this are not some fandom connect the dots allegations. This is all a open public we been friends for years said out loud.
And the next thing, that me thinks had broken the Benny spell completely, was his 'crisis in Ukraine' insta post from last April (featuring choose love... cuz why not). The obvious months wait for a fucking t-shirt to arrive, sunny day happy photoshoot and advertisement friendly language so that instagram won't cut his visibility so everyone could see what a great chap he is! The bare minimum, the bad taste, the quick edit of the post after he been called out and obvi the radio silence since.
Oh coral but it's not like he the worst person in the fucking world. Like no he's not but the picture he tries to paint of himself is cracking and showing how fucking fake it is... No surprise tho he a celebrity and british after all x.x
In other thingies, he obvi a bestie with Jules who i have personal beef with completely outside of Benny.
Speaking of her, the very possible possibility that he been having an affair with a married woman is kind of wow okay something if ye ask me. Then we have his music which should be classified as a dangerous especially for aquatic life (🪸), young and elderly and everyone else.
Yesh I know celebs are fake but he is just... The fakest at this point?? Like so obviously fake without a drop of genuine intentions, just doing this to secure his cushy life.
Oh and while we still at around twin flames orbit. The pandemic... Stay home be a good boy, but not me!! I am Benjamin Barnes and I shall do the opposite and then gaslight gatekeep...
I can go into/list more irks honestly but that's just ye know being petty and cherry picking kind of. Ye know I say I hate his look at me imma an activist reposts but other peeps are glad he 'spoken out' about the issue. Then there are his fandom games and basically begging his fangirls to baby him like when he's called out... He can't take responsibility for anything (pandemic travel anyone??) and he won't take direct and decisive stand on anything ever (not even saying world issues, I mean his so called FEMALE friends that needed strong public support but he stayed silent) cuz as long as he is bland and pleases everyone he is cool he is safe.
And at the end of the day what he does is he covers up, avoids and baits with something else hoping that the air clears. Here we should look at his 'brother' Chris D'Elia. He was sniffing around him at a time he was assaulting several women, Benny at the same time was dating a wannabe model in her early 20s... Allegations about D'Elia circled around for years but no one dared to speak loudly cuz he was SOMEONE. Then shit hits the fan and what our dear boy Benny does??? He, with a speed of a lightning, deletes covers up blocks gets rid off any obvious connection to his so called brother. Case closed.
Also like his enormous ego and the obsession to cover up his private life like crazy, that kinda sus and not healthy I want a private life but again it's just me lol
Would link me old posts but I'm on the mobile app and it's like so hard to find all that shite. There are more details in them old posts if ye as interested. But this is the crash course into Benny Boy by Coral lol
5 notes
·
View notes
Last Seen Blogs
thunder-tornado
✨️🌙 the moon will sing a song for me 🌙✨️
darktetrasdualies
unauthorised fucking thing
booasaur
Booasaur
philipfloyd
Philip Floyd
7hyein
⑅