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thebucketpail · 1 year

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A little blurb based on this thought that I had

When You Accidentally Kill a Clown pt. 1

Pt. 2 Ao3

This is not ideal. Danny thought deftly as he stared in shock at the absolutely massive problem he had just created for himself. He blinked slowly, trying to bring his brain back to speed. Definitely not Ideal.

Not even one week in Gotham, that was all it took to make such a big mess, thank you very much Fenton Luck. Danny had been accepted into Gotham U, having qualified for practically a full ride scholarship, and started next week. He had been in town to get settled for about three days when he was walking back to his apartment from a nearby Batburger.

Unfortunately a certain clown mistook him for a Wayne and well… yeah, he needed help with this.

“Hey Danny what’s up?” Sam’s voice rang as the call finally connected.

“Sam I think I have a problem,”

“What? Your roommate’s too Hot?΅ she joked

“No- no it's not my roommate-” he squeaked out. Shit how would he explain this? Logically Sam would be perfectly normal about it, probably even ecstatic, considering he did just-

“I killed the Joker” Danny blurted plowing past the sputtering noises coming from the other end of the line, “I didn’t mean to, i was just walking back to my apartment and he jumped out of an alley and tried to kidnap me, and you know I hate clowns and he caught me off guard, and well humans are a lot more squishy than ghosts and I think I used a bit too much force, but yeah.” he paused for a breath, “I killed the Joker, At least I think it's him. Ancients, Sam the bats are gonna kill me for this”

The tinny laughter he got in reply did nothing to calm Danny’s fraying nerves.

“Sam don’t laugh what am I meant to do?’’ He hissed

It took a few more moments for Sam to collect herself before she responded. “I’m sorry Danny, that's just so you of you to manage killing the Joker your first week in Gotham. Holdup, I'm gonna get Tuck real quick.”

As the sound of shuffling and footsteps filled the receiver, Danny tried calming down. Breathing deeply he walked over to examine the body. Yep, he thought, definitely the Joker, that pasty face and greasy green hair were hard to mistake, even for a non-Gothamite. Danny wrinkled his nose at the acrid stench rising from the smoking crater in the clown’s gut. You can never be too sure though, so Danny reached over to check for a pulse. Nothing.

The distant bickering died down as Tucker’s voice rang from Danny’s phone.

“Duuue, did you really?”

Danny took a shaky breath, raising the device back to his face, “Y-Yeah, he’s dead,” God please don’t let him come back to haunt me. ”Tuck what do I do?”

“Honestly man, I think you should just leave him, someone will find him eventually,” Tuck replied, the nonchalance oozing through his voice.

“I don’t know, I feel like we should tell someone or something-”

“Holy Shit!” Danny froze at the new voice coming from behind him. “Is that really him?” Red Hood asked incredulously. Ancients that's THE RED HOOD. Danny is so double dead.

“Tuck, I think someone found out,” he whispered into the mic, not taking his eyes off the imposing Figure that was the literal RED HOOD.

“It’s probably fine,” but Danny cut him off with a strangled yelp as Red Hood turned to face him Muscles tensing, shifting from shock to Ancients Danny hoped that rage wasn’t directed at him. That hope slowly dwindled as the vigilante stalked toward him, hand drifting toward the holster at his hip. Danny gulped.

“Did you do this?!” Hood seethed, and Yup Danny was going to die again today. What should he say? ‘Yes mr red hood sir I killed the Joker please don’t kill me’ no, no he should not say that. So he settled to let out a strangled squeak and a small nod.

Danny couldn’t breath as Hood crouched to assess the body. I didn’t breathe when Hood stared him down. No Danny didn’t even breathe when a distorted laugh rang through the air, or when Tucker and Sam anxiously screamed at Danny to respond.

“I Can’t believe the Fucker’s finally dead,” Hood breathed, kicking the dead clown for good measure. “What’s your Name Kid?”

Finally Danny let a relieved sigh escape his lips, he Probably wouldn’t die again tonight.

“Um, Danny?” he said tentatively, his voice rising toward the end making it sound more like a question. Hood just laughed more.

“Well Danny, do you like burgers? I've got to thank you somehow.” Dany was in shock. What. the actual. Hell. slowly he nodded because what else was he supposed to do when RED freaking HOOD offered him food for killing a literal terrorist on accident. “Good, I have to make a few quick calls but don’t go anywhere.” and he walked a few paces away, leaving Danny in Shock and confusion.

Slowly he raised the forgotten phone to his ear. “Uuuuh Guys…” he waited a moment for the yelling to die down before continuing, yeah, this might be interesting.

#danny phantom #dp x dc #red hood #danny killed the joker #it was an accident okay #he forgot humans are squishy #oh god is hood going to kill him?#nope just take him for bugers and a milkshake #buckets writes things?

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bitch-i-migth-be · 4 years

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Crash Course | Chapter 07:Is This The Real Chaos? Is This Just Fantasy?

Fandoms: Danny Phantom, Batman,

Relationships: Danny Fenton & Jazz Fenton

Characters: Danny Fenton, Jazz Fenton, Clockwork (briefly)

Words: 2′053

Tags: Sibling bonding, Shenanigans, Swearing,

Summary: He swore his sister was trying to make him go into cardiac arrest - considering his halfa status that was quite the accomplishment-

But there was no other explanation to his sister’s stubbornness, and if he knew her at all there was just no talking her down from interning at goddam Arkham.

A/N: If this seems like a mad scramble is because it is. They are on a Time. Limit. People. (This is mostly dialogue. And self-indulgent af. Beware.)

THIS IS ON AO3, IF ANYONE WOULD PREFER TO READ THERE. LOVE COMmENTs so if u have anything to say IwillBeReallyHappyYesThankU

CHAPTERS: 1 , 2 , 3 , 4 , 5 , 6 , 7, 8 ,9, 10, 11, 12

-.-.-.-

First of all, research on the circle of hell on earth, because you can't go to war without some fucking research, he had learned that the hard way.

You can’t plan for shit if you don’t have good info.

Confiable sources are key.

They needed to sort this out. ASAP.

If his sister. Would. Just. Cooperate.

“You raised me constantly telling me that information is your best weapon & shield and now you are telling me to chill?? The Fuck, Jazz. ”

“I’m not telling you we should Stop, Danny” Jazz explained, waving her hands around to illustrate her point. “I’m just telling you we should slow down. If the FBI Man catch onto this-”

“How do you know it's a man?”

“Dan. It's just a meme.”

“It could be an asexual alien working for the government behind this screen and you would never know-! ”

“Fine! What if the asexual alien government worker caught us-?”

“They are not going to catch anything, Jazz.” Danny retorted, waving at the cameras above the computers “See? I put tape on the cameras.”

His sister gave him an unimpressed stare.

“And I have Tucker as back-up. I’m not an idiot.”

“It’s been sixteen years, brother.” Jazz sassed back, “And I’m still not sure about that-” She dodged her brother’s sloppy try at slapping with a yelp and threw back her own sloppy bitch slap.

Things dissolved quickly into a slap fight from there.

And that was it [for the underpaid asexual alien worker.]

-.-.-.-

They would need Travel Plans™.

They lived in bump fuck nowhere Illinois and they had to get to Gotham. Jazz’s scholarship covered bus tickets. His scholarship didn’t because it was still a new thing on the G.A. and normally only the Gothamites bothered to risk applying because they were already in the city.

Extreme measures must be taken.

“Are you seriously flying all the way to-?”

“Jazz, please.”

“But-”

“Jazz!” Danny whined.

“Okay! Ok!”

-.-.-.-

Living arrangements. What’s better than picking the sweet, sweet home?

“We don’t have to pick, Danny. That’s what the dorms are for.”

“Where are we putting all the Ghost Tech?”

“...In rental storage?”

“Safe rental storage? On Loony Town??”

“...”

“And with what money?”

“If we don’t have enough for rental storage, what makes you think we can afford anything else apart from the dorms? ”

“...You got me there.”

“Hmm...”

“...”

“...So. We can get back to this later, or-?”

“Yes, please.”

-.-.-.-

“Did you know that Gotham was declared ‘no man’s land’ some years ago?”

“Our entire town got dragged to the depths of purgatory Danny.”

“Calling the realms purgatory is not exactly-”

“Pur-ga-to-ry, Danny.”

Danny huffed.

“Fine”

-.-.-.-

“I recognize looking up information on the richest man in Gotham might be useful, somehow, but don’t you think looking up the man’s children would be a bit stalkerish?”

“They are rich. You can’t trust rich people.”

“Danny, whatever post-traumatic stress disorder and trust issues Vlad has caused you-”

“Jazz that’s not it and you know-”

“-can be properly acknowledged if we-”

“Ok, fine! I won’t look them up!”

“Thank you.”

-.-.-.-

The number of heroes working in Loony town had been rising in the last years. Considering the amount of shit going on in the place, it was only logical. There was plenty of demand.

And there had always been Batman, which was the first one and worrying enough all on itself. himself.

Then again they had to deal with a psychotic clown throwing parties in the middle of Loony City so maybe they would be distracted enough to notice some cold spots. Hopefully.

Either way, Danny was not going to Gotham to play the hero role. He was going to take care of his sister and help her figure out a way to deal with the ghost zone better. Because dealing with ghosts was one thing, but humans? Humans were a whole other bag of worms that, if possible, he wouldn’t touch with a ten-foot pole

Gotham had enough heroes running around, they could deal with their city and Danny would focus on his sister.

Easy peasy lemon squeezy.

-.-.-.-

Human treats.

Ugh.

He had little experience dealing with living human threats. Jazz assured him it would be similar on the core, but it was easier said than done.

As long as the Gothamites let them alone, it would be fine.

But he would not only need to worry about the citizens, he would have to worry about the freaking threats in the asylum. He would have to make some scouting when they got there and decide on a game plan.

He really hoped Gotham wasn’t an attractive place for natural portals, because that goddamn place would be haunted to hell and back by now if the city had anywhere near the same concentration of ectoplasm Amity Park had. There were just so many, many things that had gone down in that place.

-.-.-.-

“-And hear this, it says and I quote ‘many millenniums ago, an evil warlock was buried alive beneath what would one day become the central island of Gotham-”

“Please, stop.”

“But It’s a goddamn island Jazz, what if they blow up the bridges again-!”

“Oh, for the love of God-”

-.-.-.-

“Oh my god, I forgot about Ellie.”

“Danny-”

“How the fuck could I forget about Ellie-?!”

“Could you calm down-?”

“She is practically my goddamn daughter-!”

“Well, considering you let your barely-one-year-old ‘daughter’ travel the world unsupervised It’s not really that surprising-”

“Jazz, you are not helping!!”

“Don’t get me wrong, I know she is quite the capable little hellion, and Vlad was the one who made her so-”

His sister had gone suddenly quiet, exchanging her —unsuccessful— attempts at calming him down for staring blankly into one of the walls of the room. Danny didn’t know what caused this reaction, and he didn’t care, as long as she kept quiet and just let him-

“D-Does that make Vlad the mom?” Jazz whispered weakly with all the air of someone who had just gotten a horrifying revelation.

Danny choked with his own tongue.

“JAZZ!!”

-.-.-.-

So, packing.

What really are essentials anymore, really?

“I mean the modified thermos will take care of most of our things. The only part of the packing that was worrying me was the ghost tech, and, well-”

“That’s why you asked Iris for a bag, right?”

“...”

“Danny?”

“No. I wanted to reverse engineer it.”

“How are you even going to reverse engineer that thing? It’s like a magicky ghost bag of wonders, I can’t even-”

“That’s for you to see and for me to keel over.“

“...I really hope you know that’s not how the phrase goes.”

-.-.-.-

Spes Ultima Dea

‘Hope is the last thing to die’

That was the inscription carved on the jewelry box. Judging by the greek design it was probably Pandora’s doing, though the snowflakes mixed in with the flowers, leaves, and swirling lines carved along in the wood showed that Frostbite had contributed to the ‘packaging’ as well. At least this one didn’t have a bright green fanged skull on the lid.

Or contain all the world’s evils.

Jazz, who had been silently cursing him for a while now, dropped her moody mutterings when she saw him grab the box. So now they were going through the jewelry together.

“So what’s up with the ghost jewelry then?”

“These are the replacements for Pariah’s old artifacts.“

“The what-?” Jazz made a double-take.

“I told you about this Jazz, the Observants wanted me to wear the damn things. I didn’t want to. Bla Bla Bla.” He drawled on in a bored voice.

“Yeah, but I thought you just had refused to wear them.”

“God, I wish.” Danny sighed “We had to compromise.”

“Ok. So which ones-? She asked looking over his shoulder to the wood box with golden details on his hands.

“Well, this one is from the Far Frozen, they took care of the crown.” He said, showing her a pair of silvery wrap around earrings “The letter said they called them ‘Winter’s Song’” Danny finished with a hum on his voice.

“And these ones are from the Acropolis, which got the ring” He continued, grabbing two matching silvery bracelets from the box. Jazz made grabby hands at them and Danny passed them over. “Their name is-” Danny paused, pursing his lips and reaching for the letter on the bed to read the name again.

“-’The call of Elpis.’” He finally revealed, at Jazz’s raised eyebrow he continued. “Don’t ask me, there is nothing in here explaining and I have no idea.”

“Course you don’t”

“Hey!” He protested, but Jazz just continued examining the silver pieces. Danny deflated and joined her on the examination.

“Don’t know why they made them pairs, or if they are even silver but-”

“They are beautiful.” she finished.

He hummed in agreement

“Is that a cornucopia-?” Jazz asked, bringing one of the bracelets closer to her face.

“A what”

“It has a legend, the cornucopia was supposed to be a source of endless food and drinks-”

“Couldn’t they have sent us the original then-?”

Jazz glared

“I’m just saying-!”

“It’s a symbol of abundance, Danny.” She berated him “They are giving you their best wishes.”

Danny would have said that wishes didn’t feed him, but he was not in the mood to risk it.

“What about the others?” Jazz asked, referring to the other pieces that were still in the jewelry box.

“I suppose you could say they are protective charms, of a sort. Those are for the both of us. Mostly for you, tho. You are going to need them.”

Jazz accepted the answer, and thought to herself that she should have seen something like this coming from Danny, he had been worried about her since she shared her college plans after all.

What she wasn’t quite accepting was the lack of explanation on the names of her brother’s last new piece of jewelry.

She grabbed her phone from the nightstand and started browsing for answers.

The name just had to have some sort of meaning-

She looked up from her phone to send a long look at her brother, whose tongue was poking out of the corner of his mouth while fighting with the clasp of one of the bracelets. She smiled fondly.

Pandora's hope, uh?

-.-.-.-

“Do you think Batman is a Vampire, tho?”

Jazz rolled her eyes. Aaaand he ruined it.

“Do I look like I care?”

-.-.-.-

Danny was seated on his desk chair, glaring fiercely into the void.

"What are you doing?"

"I'm trying to glare the nether gods into striking me down."

"Danny." Jazz sighed from her place on his bed. Hearing her brother say that was- This was unbelievable. "I'm not finishing all the work alone."

“I know. Is just-” He halted mid-sentence to purse his lips. A slight air of defeat entering his already slouched posture.

“Just what?”

"We could have used clockwork's help" The redhead raised an eyebrow at the response.

"Could we? I mean normally it takes a Long Time to just find his tower. And that's because it's you searching for it. No one would find him otherwise. Except for the Observants, they can do it faster, but I don’t think you are desperate enough. Would it be worth it tho-?

"No. Not like that." Danny interrupted her, not breaking his glare but voice in a complete deadpan. "We completely forgot about his gift."

His sister blinked a pair of times. Considering. And then her eyes got progressively bigger as she connected the dots.

"The time medallions" She gasped in realization.

Clockwork's time medallions.

The pair of time medallions he had gifted to her brother on his last deathday.

The ones that clockwork had refused to say what they were for but had probably been gifted to Danny with this exact purpose in mind.

Jazz groaned, facepalming and letting herself fall onto the bed to curl into a ball of red hair and utter defeat.

Danny, who hadn't moved an inch since the beginning of the conversation just groaned back in sympathy.

She rolled over onto her back and started to glare into the void too.

"I feel like ClockWork is laughing his ass off right now."

-.-.-.-

He was.

-.-.-.-

ENDNOTES:

Why would asexual aliens be the best option to be The FBI man?? 'Cause they are not interested in your dirty. Just the juicy, juicy human gossip. -.-.-.-

Ellie is coming, people. Everything will be fine.

-.-.-.-

I already wrote part of the Batfam, the Fenton siblings, and Vlad's meeting plus some extra guests.

As in, that’s not their first time meeting because they had already met individually(I haven’t written all) before that scene.

BUT this one is with EVERYONE there. The first time all of them are in the SAME place, at the SAME time. and I’M JUST- laughing my ass off? This is going to be chaotic.

Angst who? Not this time Satan.

-.-.-.-

So Elpis for the greek and to pass a fast one by oblivious Danny, and then when I searched "Call of hope" for the giggles google said it was a Christian organization and I was like: Brah

The other one is "Winter's Song". I wonder WHY

Hope and Winter, I like the sound of that. Can beat the shit out of rage and fire any day.

I will describe them both in detail later because it just seemed awkward to put such a meticulous examination when Danny just grabbed the things to put them on so he wouldn’t lose them or something. Which he can’t. But that’s for later.

Also, I got bored.

-.-.-.-

Clockwork is just vibing on his tower by this point.

The Timelord deserves some fruity cocktails and some Hawaiian leis for dealing with the Bald-Voldemort's-cousins-eye-heads.

And I'm giving them to him.

Can you see him watching the siblings scrambling all over the place?? All flowered up??? Laughing at these silly children?? and taking little sips of his Fruity Vodka Party Punch???

I can. It's quite a sight.

-.-.-.-

In the Latin American DC fandom, they call Damian ‘Bolita de Odio’ which translates to ‘tiny ball of hate’ but it sounds so cute on Spanish ‘bolita’ adhfkfhkadsljfladsk I love it when they call him that, it makes me squeal.

You can literally search on google: ‘bolita de odio’. And you will get Damian. This is so fuckin’ ridiculous and I love it.

Same with Jason but they call him: 'Palancas locas' which is 'crazy crowbars' because of- you know, how he died.

-.-.-.-

If you are interested. A list of almost confirmed main & background ships for this fic. Just in case it's a deal-breaker? :L

Jazz/Jason [JJ Elizabeth for the win]

Kitty/Ember [Queens]

Harley/Ivy [The Ultimate Queens] (Ember would murder me for this if she found a way to break the fourth wall, *chuckles* ‘I’m in danger.jpg’)

Cass/Kicking ass [Edit: got an Idea now! :D But: Spoilers so hush-hush]

Bruce/Selina [Not leaving their lives for the other? what? Who is leaving a part of themselves behind? no one, that’s who. Don’t worry pals, Alfred and the fam got this.]

Dick/Kori [There was a moment there when I thought about Babs/Dick BUT the sibling feels overcame me. One of my favorite ships, when I was a small little bean, were these two in Teen titans (2003) so we are going with 2003 Starfire for this :3 (But, I suppose if you like the other design better you have the right to visualize her like that. Whatever makes you happy *kissy face*)

SO we are going with Babs and Dick as best friends, and Babs teasing the shit out of Dick because Batman never taught him how to deal with girls and those first years with Starfire were a shitshow. I’m going to pretend they NEVER had anything sneaky going on for the fic’s sake and what I want to pull off here.]

Tim/Coffee pot [I don’t know about Tim, yet. Give me ideas or I Will be shipping him with the coffee pot.) edit: you know what- no. I thought about something better. Never mind this-]

Danny/Coffee pot [Just kidding, you know it’s Damian :) :) :) *Twodudessittinginahottube*]

There are other ships. BUT I’m not sure if I’m going platonic or romantic with some of them- also, I don’t want to tag those yet because where would be the surprises? the drama? the out of nowhere feels?? where? so, yeah.

(I’m also thinking about shipping Vlad with a Certain Someone. The man deserves to move on. (In this fic in particular. I mean THIS fic. Ha can stay in space in Canon))

You have been warned. -.-.-.-

Have you seen Dick’s & Kori’s little girl??? My fucking heart can’t take this.

#dp crash course #danny phantom #danny phantom fanfiction #batman #Danny phantom & batman crossover #crossover #arkham #protective siblings #shenanigans #fanfic #ao3 #danny fenton #jazz fenton #clockwork

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