#This is my birthday meal ive had it every single birthday for the past like 10 years Except for 2021 I Dont Particularly Want To Talk About | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

bibbawrites · 3 years

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Beach Baby - Single Dad!Charlie x Owen

THIS IS PART 4 OF THE SINGLE DAD!CHARLIE SERIES YOU CAN READ PART 1 HERE , THE PREQUEL (PART 2) HERE AND PART 3 HERE

Request: none

Word Count: 3907 words 😳

Summary: Part 4 of Single Dad!Charlie, Margaux and Charlie reunite with Owen in Hawaii after months apart due to lockdown, just in time for Margaux’s fourth birthday

Warnings: technically underage drinking, i guess technically i have to warn that this is implied mutual crushing between owen and charlie, if you dont feel comfortable with romantic chowen do not read

A/N: i couldn’t get this out of my head so i had to write it, and boy did i write it this is the longest non-chaptered fic ive ever written and honestly i could have made it longer but i didnt want it to drag on any more that it already did this is literally more than double the length of my normal fics, i got very carried away

also just a note that i’m not trying to be rude about the fans who met the boys at the airport and i’m sure in real life the boys were happy to stop and chat, but from a parents perspective charlie’s first instinct would be to protect his daughter so i just thought i’d add that. please don’t get upset for that part!

sorry for any mistakes, its 4am and im half asleep trying to read through this to post lol anyways, hope you enjoy!

Tag List: @happinessinthedarkesttimes @littlemissaddict @vicesvsvirtuesfanfic @headheartbellarke @lovesanimals @bartok-the-magnificent @juliefromaustralia @multi-universe21 @rangerelik @kaitieskidmore1 @katrina765 @fandomxreaders @ifilwtmfc

“Papa!” Margaux screamed, racing across the airport to Owen, the blond boy scooping up the nearly four year old and spinning her around when she reached him.

“Maggie! I’ve missed you so much.” Owen exclaimed, pulling his mask down to pepper her cheeks with kisses, causing Margaux to giggle loudly. “Where’s your Daddy?”

“Right behind you.” Owen spun around to find Charlie standing there, clearly smiling at him despite the bandana that covered his mouth, and Owen’s heart skipped a beat at how good Charlie looked in the early morning sun streaming through the airport windows.

Meanwhile Charlie was thinking the exact same thing, admiring how attractive Owen was, especially when he was in his dad mode. He really understood why girls had such a weakness for cute boys with cute kids when he saw Owen with Margaux.

Charlie stepped forward, pulling Owen into a tight hug and Margaux whined in complaint at being squished between her dad and her self declared papa. They pulled away from each other, both boys fighting to hide their slightly flushed cheeks.

“I’m hungry.” Margaux whined, and Charlie was snapped out of his heart eyes daze, his whole focus back on his daughter.

“Let’s get some food into you before our plane leaves then eh.” He replied, and Margaux nodded happily.

Feeling bold Owen grabbed onto Charlie’s hand, lacing their fingers together. It wasn’t unusual for them to do this but it was the first time doing it when they were well known enough that someone might recognise them. But neither of them really cared. They were just happy to be back together again.

The minute they arrived in Hawaii they were met with fans. As much as he loved meeting the fans Charlie couldn’t help but sigh slightly as he tried to protect Margaux as much as he could.

It wasn’t that the fans didn’t know about Margaux, because it was a well known fact that he was a single dad, it was more that he wanted to keep her away from the spotlight. She hadn’t asked for her dad to become a well known actor, and she didn’t deserve to have her life changed because of it. He was determined to give her the most normal life possible.

Eventually they made it to the villa house that they were staying in while in Hawaii, and after throwing their bags into their rooms it was time to have a bit of fun.

“Swim time swim time!” Margaux sung, running laps around the living room. Kenny chuckled at the small girl, looking up at Charlie who was following closely behind her.

“It seems like only yesterday she was a tiny two year old who cried every time you left her side.” He said, and Charlie smiled fondly, sitting down on the chair next to Kenny.

“She’s growing up too fast.” He agreed. “I can’t believe in less than 24 hours time I’ll be a dad to a four year old.”

Margaux tripped on the tiles, landing with a clatter, her bottom lip jutting out. Charlie jumped up, but before he could even think about moving across the room Owen was by Margaux’s side, helping her up and pulling her into a tight hug. He whispered something in her ear and Margaux giggled loudly, her fall already forgotten.

Charlie smiled softly at the scene, his heart filled with love for both the blond boy and his little princess.

“Daddy.” Margaux called, snapping Charlie out of his daze.

“Yeah baby?” He answered, finally making his way across the room.

“Can we swim now?” She asked, grabbing onto his leg. Charlie subconsciously ran his hand through her soft curls.

“Of course we can.” He replied. Margaux glanced up at Owen.

“Papa too?” She questioned.

“Papa too.” Charlie agreed. Margaux peered past him, her gaze landing on Kenny.

“Coming Uncle Kenny?” She asked, and Kenny laughed, standing up.

“Coming Little Gillespie.” He replied.

Margaux smiled contently, taking both Charlie and Owen’s hands to pull them outside towards the pool.

She really did have every single one of them wrapped around her little finger.

Dinner that night was special, as it was supposed to be Carolynn’s last day on the island. They decided on a joint party for her last night, as well as celebrating Margaux’s birthday a day early.

They had headed to a tiny restaurant near their villa, and Charlie had allowed Margaux to pick whatever she wanted from the menu, not that it mattered because she chose chicken nuggets and chips anyways.

The meal was nice, and before they knew it they were arriving back at the villa. Jeremy, Carolynn and Kenny all excused themselves for bed, and Tori settled into the couch, flicking the TV on.

“Bath and bed time baby.” Charlie told Margaux, and she pouted but obeyed, following him into the hallway.

“Hey Char, can I ask you something?” Owen asked, trailing behind the father daughter duo, and Charlie stopped, letting Margaux run ahead to their room.

“Anything.” He smiled.

“Do you mind if I share your room? I know the other bed was meant to be for Margaux but-” Owen started, playing with his fingers slightly.

“She can share with me.” Charlie cut him off. “Bed’s all yours.” Owen looked up, his eyes widening.

“Really?” He checked.

“Of course.” Charlie smiled. Owen grinned, throwing his arms around Charlie’s neck.

“Thanks Char. I just didn’t really want to sleep alone.” He admitted, and Charlie squeezed him tight.

“Any time.” He told Owen, and the blond boy pulled away with a smile, before heading off to the room he was originally going to stay in to collect his bags.

Charlie entered the room that he and Margaux, and now Owen, were sharing, finding his daughter already snuggled into one of the beds, still wearing her dinner clothes. Charlie sighed, moving to pull her out of the bed. Owen entered the room, bags in tow, and Margaux looked up at him excitedly.

“Papa! Are you sleeping here?” She questioned. Owen placed his bags in the corner before answering.

“I am Miss Maggie.” He said, and Margaux cheered.

“You don’t mind sleeping with Daddy?” Charlie checked, and Margaux shook her head, jumping up to throw her arms around Charlie’s neck.

“Nope! More cuddles!” She stated. Charlie laughed, picking her up.

“Exactly right. Now, it’s bath time.” He said, grabbing Margaux’s pyjamas as she clung to him.

“Bye Papa!” Margaux called as Charlie moved to leave the room. Owen waved.

“Bye Maggie!” He replied, matching her enthusiasm. Charlie couldn’t help but smile.

Margaux was so lucky to have someone like Owen in her life. They both were.

“Daddy! Wake up!” Margaux screamed, jumping on top of Charlie. He groaned, squinting as he looked up at his daughter.

“What time is it?” He mumbled. Owen sat up in his own bed, grabbing his phone to check the time.

“4:47am.” He informed Charlie, his voice thick with sleep. Charlie tried to ignore how sexy Owen’s morning voice was, instead focusing on his daughter.

“Mags it’s too early to be awake.” He told her. Margaux pouted, flopping down on top of him.

“Daddy, it’s my birthday!” She exclaimed. Charlie smiled, kissing her cheek.

“I know baby, happy birthday. Now can we sleep for a little bit?” He tried. Margaux thought for a moment.

“Only if Papa comes here too.” She decided.

Charlie’s eyes widened slightly, eyes fixed on Owen as the younger boy sleepily slid out of his bed with no hesitation, and into Charlie’s, snuggling into Charlie’s side the minute he laid down. Margaux squirmed her way under the covers, squishing herself in between the two of them.

Charlie shut his eyes in an attempt to get back to sleep, but it was no use. He opened his eyes again, staring up at the ceiling, as Margaux slept soundly next to him.

His mind was racing, noticing every single little place where Owen’s warm skin was in contact with his. It felt like he was on fire.

“Stop thinking.” Owen mumbled, and Charlie turned his head to see Owen staring at him, his eyes half shut with sleep.

“How did you know?” He questioned. Owen gave him a small smile.

“I always know. Whatever it is, just ignore it for now. Get some sleep, it’s gonna be a big day.” Owen whispered. Charlie paused for a moment, just staring at Owen in the dim light from Margaux’s nightlight. Even half asleep in the almost complete darkness of the room Owen still looked gorgeous. Charlie swallowed.

“You’re right. Thanks O.” He replied.

“Love you.” Owen yawned in response, his eyes shutting again. Charlie smiled softly, moving his hand to brush a bit of Owen’s hair off his face.

“I love you too Owen.” He replied, despite the fact that the younger boy was already asleep. He pressed a soft kiss to Owen’s head, and lowered his voice to no more than a whisper.

“More than I probably should.”

After what felt like no time at all Charlie was being shaken awake again.

“Daddy is it time to get up now?” Margaux questioned, sitting on his chest. Charlie yawned.

He reached over and checked his phone. It was just after 6:30am.

“Okay we can get up. But we’re gonna leave Papa to sleep a little bit more, okay?” Charlie compromised. Margaux thought for a moment before agreeing. Charlie grinned, sliding the both of them out of the bed careful not to wake Owen. Once they were out of the bed Charlie lifted Margaux up, placing her on his hip. He pressed a soft kiss to her temple.

“Now. Let’s go make some birthday pancakes.”

“Happy birthday Little Gillespie.” Jeremy sung, entering the kitchen with Carolynn close behind him.

Margaux grinned, her mouth full of pancake.

“Thank you!” She exclaimed, her words muffled by her food. Carolynn stepped past Jeremy, moving to place a gentle kiss on Margaux’s head and whisper to her. Margaux grinned before looking up at her father.

“Hey Daddy?” She spoke. Charlie made a noise in response.

“Yeah?” He said, flipping pancakes onto a plate for both Jeremy and Carolynn.

“Do you think the birthday fairy could found me here?” Margaux questioned, her eyes full of hope. Charlie couldn’t help but smile, not even bothering to correct her words, as he placed the pan down.

“Should we go find out?” He asked. Margaux’s eyes widened in excitement.

“Yeah! But first we have to get Papa.” She decided. Charlie nodded.

“You wanna go wake him up? Tell him we made him some pancakes?” He asked, and Margaux grinned, already sliding out of her chair.

“Okay Daddy!” She replied, before rushing out of the room. The room fell silent for a few moments before Carolynn cleared her throat.

“So Charlie...” She raised an eyebrow. “How long have you been in love with Owen?”

Charlie choked on his coffee.

“I’m sorry, what?” He spluttered. Carolynn grinned.

“You heard me.” She said. Charlie hesitated.

“I’m not-” He stopped. “I-”

He groaned. There was no use denying it if clearly he was obvious enough that his friends had figured him out.

“Since filming.” He admitted. Carolynn cheered.

“You owe me $20.” She told her husband, who glared at Charlie.

“You just had to admit it, huh?” Jeremy shook his head, and Charlie shrugged, a small smile on his face.

“Admit what?” Owen’s voice came from behind them, deep from sleep, and Charlie took a sip of his coffee to try to distract himself. Owen always looked good but in the early morning light, his hair still a mess from sleeping, he looked ethereal. Charlie bit his lip to stop himself from staring.

“Nothing important.” Carolynn replied, and Charlie shot her a thankful look.

“Can we see if the birthday fairy visited now?” Margaux sighed, clearly impatient. They all laughed.

“Of course baby.” Charlie told her, standing up. He grabbed the plate of pancakes he had made for Owen, handing them to the younger boy as he passed him.

Margaux lead the way to the living area where Kenny and Tori were already sat waiting, squealing with excitement when she saw the small pile of presents on the table.

“They came!” She exclaimed, and Charlie couldn’t help but smile, ruffling her hair affectionately.

Margaux settled down on the couch as everyone spread out around the room, and one by one she opened the presents, eyes widening with excitement at every single one.

Charlie had gotten her a few dolls that he knew she had been wanting, plus some new clothes, books and other toys.

Jeremy and Carolynn had gotten her a small paint set with a Frozen paint by numbers.

Kenny had gotten her a tiny version of the Sunset Curve shirt that the cast had all received.

Tori had gotten her a little lilac tutu.

Madi, Jadah and Savannah had sent their presents, some handmade earrings, little stud versions of the ghost drawings that Carolynn had created from Madi, a small pair of overalls from Savannah, and a colouring book from Jadah.

But her absolute favourite gift had come from Owen, a tan coloured bear from Build-A-Bear that he had dressed like Luke, and the clothes to change the bear into Reggie, Alex and Julie if she wanted to.

After hugs all round the group decided to go their own ways, with Kenny heading off to spend the day relaxing, and Tori, Jeremy and Carolynn going to the beach to sunbathe since Carolynn’s flight had been delayed.

“Where do you want to go today birthday girl?” Charlie asked, as he and Owen collected the pile of gifts to move them back to their room.

Margaux frowned in thought, the bear still grasped in her arms.

“Hiking.” She decided, and Charlie laughed. She was definitely his daughter.

“You sure? We can do whatever you want to do.” He checked. Margaux nodded, her attention focused on her new clothes that Charlie had placed on the bed to fold later.

“I’m sure.” She said, reaching for the Sunset Curve shirt and overalls. “Can I wear this?”

“Of course you can.” Charlie agreed.

“I’m gonna have a quick shower.” Owen said, grabbing some clothes out of his bag. Charlie nodded, focused on helping Margaux change out of her pyjamas into her new clothes.

“Do you think we can have some time tonight just you and me?” Charlie asked once Margaux was dressed, moving to grab her hairbrush and some hair ties.

“Yes please Daddy.” Margaux agreed, sitting on the edge of the bed as Charlie sat behind her.

“We could go get dinner just the two of us, and then come back here for birthday cake.” He suggested. Margaux frowned, clearly thinking.

“Is it chocolate cake?” She asked after a moment, and Charlie paused from brushing her hair to kiss the top of her head.

“You’ll have to wait and see.” He teased. Charlie finished tying her hair up into two little space buns, not quite proper buns but as close as he could get with her shortish hair.

“I hope it’s chocolate cake. I love chocolate cake.” She giggled, standing up on the bed and turning around to hug her father. Charlie wrapped his arms around her, a gesture that was so safe and familiar.

“Me too baby, me too.” He agreed. Margaux snuggled her head into his shoulder.

“Is Papa coming hiking?” She questioned. Charlie grinned to himself.

“Do you want him to come?” He asked. Margaux didn’t even hesitate.

“Yes.”

“Then I’m sure he’d love to come.” Charlie assured her. She pulled away. looking him in the eyes. Charlie had always loved that she had gotten his eyes.

“Do I ask him?” She said, eyes wide. Charlie struggled to contain a laugh at how serious she looked.

“When he comes back, yeah.” He nodded.

“When who comes back?” Owen asked, re-entering the room. Margaux jumped up, throwing herself at the 20 year old. He lifted her up with no hesitation.

“Are you gonna come hiking?” Margaux asked, her bottom lip jutting out in a pleading way.

“Of course I am. Wouldn’t want to miss spending time with my two favourite people.” Owen grinned, kissing her nose causing her to giggle. Charlie’s heart skipped a beat at the declaration that he was one of Owen’s favourite people.

“Yay! Can we go now?” Margaux turned in Owen’s arms to face her father. He nodded, standing up from the bed.

“Shoes, and then we can go.” He said, and Margaux squirmed her way out of Owen’s arms to go find her running shoes.

Charlie exchanged a look with Owen, the both of them thinking the same thing.

It was going to be a long day.

Hiking with a just turned four year old was exhausting, even despite them choosing the easiest possible trail so that she wouldn’t have any issues.

It was fine at first, Margaux excitedly looking at the plants and trying to spot any animals in the trees, but after about twenty minutes she got bored and tired, and Charlie and Owen spent the rest of the hike passing her back and forth between the two of them.

Finally they made it back to the villa, and after a quick stop for lunch Margaux was recharged and ready for the rest of the day.

“Can we swim?” She asked. Charlie nodded.

“We’ll go and get changed, and then we can go in the pool for a while until we have to get ready for dinner, okay?” He suggested.

“Okay Daddy.” Margaux smiled sweetly.

After quickly changing into their swimmers, Charlie, Margaux and Owen ended up in the pool, Jeremy and Carolynn lounging nearby.

They swam for a few hours until Margaux got thirsty, and with a promise of apple juice she and Charlie climbed out of the pool leaving Owen to go sit with the Shada’s.

Charlie walked inside the villa, finding Kenny sat at the kitchen bench reading while Tori lounged on one of the couches, staring at her phone.

“Why don’t we do cake now, so that you don’t have to worry about rushing home?” Kenny spoke up, as Charlie manoeuvred through the kitchen to get the apple juice out, Margaux clinging to his chest like a baby koala.

“That’s a good idea. Do you want to do your birthday cake now Mags?” Charlie asked his daughter, pouring her some apple juice. She sipped on the juice, looking up at him with wide eyes.

“Yeah!” She exclaimed. Charlie smiled.

“Okay, can you go get Papa, Aunty Care and Uncle Jer for me?” He asked, placing her down. She nodded eagerly, handing her cup of juice to him before rushing outside to where Owen, Jeremy and Carolynn were still sat.

Charlie grabbed the cake out of the fridge and placed it on the bench, before putting the four candles in, and grabbing a lighter.

“Have you seen my camera Kenny?” He asked, and Kenny just pointed to the end of the bench where the camera was sitting. Charlie smiled gratefully, grabbing the camera.

“Want me to take photos?” Tori offered, and Charlie nodded, handing her the camera.

Margaux re-entered the room, Owen and the Shada’s following close behind her, and when she reached her father he lifted her up. Kenny took the lighter, lighting the candles on the cake and together they sung Happy Birthday to Margaux, Tori snapping photos as the four year old blew out her candles.

Charlie held Margaux close to him as Kenny divided the cake up, thankful that he had such an amazing family to spend his little girl’s birthday with.

When Charlie and Margaux made it back to the villa after their dinner that night, the newly four year old was ready to fall asleep. Charlie carried her to bed, silently thanking his past self for deciding to give her a bath and do her birthday cake before they went to dinner because now all he had to do was change her into her pyjamas.

He changed her quickly seeing that she was almost asleep, and tucked her into the bed.

“Did you have a good birthday baby?” Charlie asked softly, settling down next to his daughter.

Margaux just nodded in response.

“That’s good.” Charlie ran a hand through her curls. “Goodnight baby girl.”

“Big girl.” Margaux mumbled sleepily. Charlie smiled, leaning down and kissing her head.

“You might be a big girl now but you’ll always be my baby girl.” He whispered. “I love you.”

“I love you too Daddy.” Margaux replied, her eyes already shut and her arms wrapped tightly around her new bear. Charlie stood up slowly and headed to the door, leaving it open a crack for a little bit of light to shine in.

He paused for a moment, just taking in the reality that Margaux was already four years old, and that she was growing up too fast. With one last look at the door he made his way down the hallway and outside to where he knew Owen was waiting.

“She’s asleep.” He announced, flopping down on the outdoor sofa next to Owen.

“I’m not shocked, she’s had a big day.” Owen replied, handing Charlie a cold beer that he had clearly gotten for him. Charlie took it thankfully, taking a large swig.

“Can you believe that she’s four already? It feels like she was only just born and I was waking up to find out that her mother was gone and that it was only me and her. It was terrifying at the time, but looking back I wouldn’t change it for the world.” He rambled. Owen rested his head on Charlie’s shoulder and Charlie wrapped his arm around the younger boy, pulling him closer.

“You should be proud of yourself Char. You’ve done an amazing job.” Owen complimented, snuggling closer to Charlie as he took a mouthful of his beer.

“You think so?” Charlie questioned. Owen nodded against his shoulder.

“I know so.” He sat up. “Margaux is the most well behaved kid I’ve ever met, I don’t think I’ve ever seen her misbehave once in all the time I’ve known her. She’s an amazing kid and it’s all because she has the most amazing father.”

“Thank you.” Charlie whispered, suddenly realising how close Owen was to him. He could feel Owen’s warm breath on his lips, and he found himself leaning in, the urge to kiss Owen overtaking his entire being. His lips brushed against Owen’s ever so slightly, but before they could properly commit to the kiss they were interrupted.

“Hey, we’re gonna play...” Tori’s voice came and they jumped apart quickly. She trailed off, eyeing them carefully. “Were you two about to kiss?”

Charlie cleared his throat. Owen’s eyes widened.

“Uh... no?” Owen lied. Tori shot them a suspicious look but clearly decided against pushing.

“Right... well we’re gonna play Cards Against Humanity if you want to join us.” She told them, before turning and heading back inside. Neither Charlie nor Owen moved, the silence was deafening. Finally Owen spoke.

“Sorry.” He muttered quickly, before standing up and rushing inside. Charlie groaned, watching him leave, the feeling of Owen’s lips still lingering on his own.

“Fuck.” He sighed, downing the last of his beer before standing up to join the rest of the group inside.

He would have to deal with the Owen situation later.

#single dad!charlie #single dad!charlie x owen #charlie gillespie #owen joyner #owen patrick joyner #dad!charlie #chowen

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just-random-imagines · 4 years

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It’s Ok

IMAGINE: Dating someone can get a little hard when someone doesn’t like your boyfriend. But you and Bucky can get through it, right? WORD COUNT: 3.6k WARNINGS: Trauma, a little cliché but hey you’re a teenager in most of this

"What the hell is wrong with you dad?" You spit at your father. "Bucky was hoping he could come over to the house one fucking time and have a civil conversation, and you had to ruin it!"

"I don't like that boy." He responded, crossing his arms as he glares at you.

"DOES IT LOOK LIKE I CARE? I LIKE HIM! HE MAKES ME HAPPY!" You retort angrily, quickly glancing out the window. You watched the dust continue to settle where Bucky had driven away.

"Hello, sir." Bucky greets your father, straightening himself the moment he saw the older man as walks into the house.

"Barnes..."

At that moment, you walk out of the kitchen. "Hiya, dad." You say nervously. He wasn't due home for another thirty minutes. He had caught you in the middle of preparing an enjoyable meal for the three of you.

"What's going on here?" He asked, zeroing in on your boyfriend.

As Bucky struggles for an answer, you step in. "We're making (Favorite Dish)."

"Why?"

"Well sir," Bucky begins. "Y/N thought it'd be a swell idea to throw a dinner and just have a friendly conversation."

Your father walks past the both of you, stepping into the kitchen and taking in the food being prepared. You and Bucky approach him nervously.

"I suppose."

Long story short, the dinner didn't go as you thought it would.

Your dad kept asking embarrassing questions, then bringing something up from Bucky's past. It was hard not to scold your father. Whenever Bucky got irritated or embarrassed by a certain subject, he'd reach for your hand underneath the table and grip it.

This happened a lot.

Bucky left quickly after the food was gone, giving you a small kiss on the cheek before leaving in his dusty old pickup truck Steve's parents lent him before they died.

"You didn't have to be so rude." You whisper once you finally calm down. "You know how Bucky is with his father and the army. Why did you have to bring it up?"

"Because a true man can handle the harsher things in life."

"You're just saying that because you want him to feel weak!"

Growing tired of this never-ending fight, your father shut it down. "Enough! I don't want to hear another word about that Barnes boy. I expect you to end things with him. He's a troublemaker." And that was that.

Or so your father thought.

You and Bucky would always meet up in town, spending the day together before you'd go your separate ways. Your father would get suspicious, but you'd come up with the cleverest lies and convince him otherwise. It wasn't until Bucky's twentieth birthday, several months after the dinner; your father finally connected the dots.

He dragged you over to Steve's apartment where Bucky was staying, hell bent on kicking his ass. You and Steve tried stopping them, but it was useless. Like beating a sumo wrestler with a twig kind of useless. It wasn't until Bucky showed your father an application to join the army. It stopped him from attacking Bucky, but terminating your relationship with him.

It was hard for you to see him after that. He had already finished high-school, and it left you finishing senior year by yourself. Your father was strict with your rules about seeing Bucky, but he let it slide when it was time for him to go.

He had gotten accepted and now it was time for him and his squadron to be shipped out. Your father, out of what little kindness he had left in his heart, allowed you to say goodbye. It was hard letting him go. You broke down in silent tears the moment you took in his sharp uniform.

"Hey, doll." He smiled sadly; drinking in the sight of you. He didn't know when it would be the next time he'd see you again.

"Why are you doing this?" You ask him, grabbing his shoulders. "Is it for the money? Why? Why are you leaving me?"

Bucky gently removes your hands and holds them against his chest. "Y/N, baby. I ain't doing this for the money." He brings his lips against yours and kisses you sweetly.

"I'm doing this so I can prove to you, and your father that I can make something of myself. That I can be that guy who made a difference. That one guy who isn't labeled a troublemaker or a brainless oaf." He squeezes your hands encouragingly. "By the time I come back, I can prove to everyone here in this small little place, I can be the good guy. I can be the one to take care of you."

"But you don't need to do this!" You tell him, pulling your hands away to wipe your tears. "If anyone can't see how amazing you are, they can go screw themselves. I love you for the sweet man you are. You don't need to join the damn army to prove shit!"

"Y/N..." Bucky watches as you grow quiet. He wraps his arms around you and holds you close.

"I don't want to lose you out there," you mumble into his chest, most likely staining his uniform with your tears.

"I'll make sure he doesn't die out there," someone beside you says.

"Steve?" You say, lifting your head from Bucky's torso. "You're going with him?"

The short blonde smiles gently, watching as you pull away from Bucky to give him a hug. "Who's better than me to keep him out of trouble?"

"That's my line," Bucky says, drawing you into one last embrace. Your dad watches from afar as you two kiss goodbye.

Everything was all right at first. Every Friday, you would receive a letter from Bucky (And Steve!) talking about what had happened in the past week, not forgetting to mention how much he had missed you.

With the occasional joke here and there, he would always express his love for you in simple poetry. Then you would quickly send your own letter, equally expressing the love you shared and reminisced about the memories the two of you had.

For six months, things had gone smoothly. Then the letters slowly stop. For weeks on end, you wouldn't get a single letter. And when you did, it was quick and to the point.

Bucky and Steve had to go somewhere, and they couldn't send as many letters as they wanted to. Buck continued to say he loved you with all his heart, and he couldn't wait to come back home.

Weeks of silence had turned into months. It broke your heart to come home from school on Friday and receive no letters. Prom came around and you ended up going with your cousin, not wanting to ruin your relationship with Bucky just to have a romantic prom night. Graduation follows shortly after, and it saddens you to think you can't celebrate with James.

It's horrible. But then it happens.

Around the third week of college, almost three years after Bucky left, you came home to your father speaking with someone on your front porch. The soldier quickly spotted you approaching and ceased his conversation.

"Y/N?" The stranger questioned.

"Yes?"

"It's me!" The man carefully takes off his service cap and tucks it underneath his arm. "It's Steve!"

Warily glancing at the tall blonde, you think of ways to yell at him for being an asshole until you look into his eyes. The same blue beauties that belonged to your best friend.

"STEVE!" You're quick to engulf him in a hug but quickly retract. Blood roars in your ears as you become excited. If Steve was here, that meant Bucky was too.

"Where's James? I know he's hiding around here somewhere. If this is a ruse to scare me, I'll kick your ass, Rogers."

After looking around, you finally look to Steve, who at the moment doesn't look so excited. "Steve...?" Then you think of every horrible way a person could die in a war. None ease your worried mind as you ask your friend a single question.

"Is Bucky... Dead, Steve?" The gentle giant shakes his head but doesn't lose the solemn expression.

"No."

Your worry turns into confusion. "So where the hell is he?"

Your father, who you had forgotten about at the moment, spoke up. "We think it'd be easier to just show you..."

You stare through a large window. On one side, you stand with Steve and your father. On the other, a nurse hovers over a limp body lying in the hospital bed. She checks the respiratory ventilator and the tubes that go along with it. Once she finds everything in its place, she adjusts his IV line and leaves.

Walking out of the door, she catches your eye and gives you a sad look. It lasts only a moment until she leaves, but you know what just happened. She's seen this before. And it rarely ends well.

"How long has it been?" You ask quietly, returning your gaze to Bucky's figure.

"About a week." Steve replies, observing you. Your body tenses up as you close your eyes.

"What. Happened. To. Him?"

He explains how he and Bucky were traveling through Germany to pick up their mark holding government secrets when the train they were riding was shot at. Bucky had fallen out as he and the rest of the men started shooting back.

"It was a long fall." Steve choked out, letting out a few tears himself. "When the gunfire had stopped, we went looking for him. He lost a lot of blood when we found him."

Your shoulders steadily rise up and down as you attempt to stifle your cries. Your dad sees this and goes to comfort you. Just as his hand reaches your arm, you snap.

"YOU DID THIS! THIS IS YOUR FAULT! YOU MADE THIS HAPPEN!"

Both of the men look shocked as you yell. Hospital staff glances at the three of you but don't make a move to stop it. They've all witnessed it before.

You bring your hands down on your father's chest, weakly beating him. "HE WOULDN'T HAVE LEFT IF YOU HADN'T PUSHED HIM TO DO IT!" Steve has to pull you away, but you don't put up a fight. The moment he grabs you, all the fight leaves.

"I'll take them home, Mr. L/N," Steve promises, pulling you into Bucky's room. Your father soon leaves, taking a quick glance at you before scurrying over to Buck before leaving. Maybe it was his fault.

You don't notice him leave. Your only concern was Bucky.

You note the thin, straw-like tubes sticking out of his nose connecting and watch as his chest slowly moves up and down. You note the differences from when you last saw Buck.

His hair was longer and much stringier than before. He wore a trimmed five o'clock shadow that suited him nicely. He had a few light scars across his cheeks, but none that ruined his look. Gently running your fingers through his hair, your arm brushes against the left side of his body.

Something feels off. "What else happened to him?" You whimper.

Steve takes a deep breath through his nose and approaches his friend. His arm brushes against yours as he reaches for the edge of the blanket. He hesitates for a moment, before pulling the thin material back.

The lights shine off it for a second, blinding you momentarily. "What the...?" The metal prosthesis replacing his arm glints underneath the weak lighting. A red star painted on his shoulder. It matches its peer perfectly.

"He lost it in the fall."

The tears fall like rain as you reach out for Bucky. Steve rubs your back, but it doesn't calm you down much. Only James could help you relax. Finding your tears had somewhat subsided, you grab your boyfriend's flesh hand and squeeze it tight.

"Do they know when he'll wake up?" You croak, your voice scratchy from all your crying.

"Doctors say because of the blood he lost and the stress they put him through, it'll be four weeks at the most." You glance at Steve, showing him your red eyes before focusing on Bucky.

"I'll wait for you."

Turns out, you didn't have to wait long. Around a week after receiving word that Buck was in the hospital, he woke up. And you were right beside him when it happened.

The doctors allowed you to stay the past few nights while he recovered. Steve visited every morning and evening to bring fresh clothes and make sure you ate properly. The nurses greeted you in the afternoon as they changed the bedpan and checked his vitals.

While waiting for him to stir, you would talk about what happened. You knew things had changed with both Steve and Bucky.

They differed from the reckless young adults you originally knew them as. Steve was obviously bigger and taller than before, and Buck was more physically defined.

"They gave me a series of experimental drugs," Steve told you on the third day. "One doctor there took a liking to me and convinced the commander to 'work' on me. He gave me this special cocktail that he made from an assortment of chemicals and it changed me."

"What about Buck? Wouldn't you guys have given him a regular prosthetic? Why a metal one?" Steve watched as you played with Bucky's metal fingers, rubbing the cool knuckles as you watched him sleep.

"It wasn't actually us who found him first." He explained. "The Russians got him, patched him up. Hence the red star. We got him back by trading a prisoner we caught that was involved in one of our previous assignments."

You couldn’t imagine the pain he must have gone through. All alone with the enemy, spending his days behind enemy lines getting tortured. At least he was home, safe from the danger.

“It’s ok now,” you whispered, gently pressing a kiss to the prosthetic palm. “You’re gonna be ok.”

When he finally awoke, you weren't exactly prepared. Neither was he.

Bucky woke up gasping, unable to breathe. His lungs felt like they were on fire! He had been having a nightmare; he was falling from a great height. When he landed, these people found him and started experimenting on him.

They poked and prodded at him with knives and such. So much pain, so much screaming.

Falling back onto the bed, he drank in his surroundings. The smell of lemon disinfectant, the sight of colorless food, the feel of a paper gown. Bucky knew exactly where he was. Just to make sure, he glanced at his arm. The metal limb proved his theory.

"It's not a dream..." He muttered, closing his eyes. As he started reaching for the assist button, he finally noticed you, sleeping in a chair resting in the corner. "Hey, there doll." He called out softly.

You stir, but don't make an intention to get up. "Get up doll." He says louder. This time, you open an eyelid. At first, you don't react. You calmly close your eyelid before you quickly reopen both your eyes.

"BUCKY!" You shout happily, jumping up from the chair. The soldier braces himself for impact.

Your arms are quick to wrap around his neck as you pepper his face with kisses. He stops the attack by grabbing your hands in his own and squeezing them gently.

You're slightly surprised he can move his prosthetic arm like his original, but you don't think about it too much. "Calm down. I'm right here. I'm with you." The shock turns into happiness as you cry.

"You're here, you're actually here!"

"I am," Bucky responds, softly running his thumbs across the back of your hands. He removes one to cup your cheek. "You got more beautiful than the last time I saw you." His grin somehow stretches wider as you blush. "How the hell did you do that?"

"You're imagining shit, Barnes."

Bucky's large brown eyes take in your worn face, and he worries. Then he calmly slides over in his bed, mindful of all the wires and tubing, and pats the cleared area.

"Lay down with me, darling?" Bucky asks politely.

The way he asks and the sudden urge to sleep overcomes you, you can't say no. He lets go of you, allowing you to climb in next to him. His arms are quick to ensnare you once more, pulling you into this warm sanctuary.

"Sleep. I'll be here when you wake up. Then we can talk."

"You sure?"

The long-haired brunette smiles down at you gently, softly kissing your forehead. "I promise. I ain't leaving again for a long time."

The hospital was reluctant on letting Bucky go after a week of him waking up. Both of you had a sneaking suspicion they wanted to check out his new arm, but you luckily got him out of there.

Against the wishes of your father, you had started seeing Bucky again. It differed from before, I should add. He wasn't the same solo rebel you had grown to love.

He was more self-conscious about his figure now, always wearing jackets even when it was warm out. But his caring attitude stayed the same. Buck still loved you with all his heart. Your father still had a hard time accepting this.

You had moved out of the house a couple months after Bucky woke up, and the two of you bought an apartment together. To celebrate, your father had invited you over to have a nice dinner. After being convinced by Bucky, you had accepted.

The dinner started off smoothly. Then you excused yourself to go to the restroom. After washing your hands, you reached for a towel, only to find there was nothing. Not wanting to ruin your new shirt, you carefully leave the bathroom to grab a dish towel from the kitchen. To get over there, you needed to pass through the dining room.

As you approach, you suddenly hear your father speaking in a hushed tone.

"The game's up, Barnes. You're back home now. You don't have to put on a show anymore."

"It's not a show, sir," your boyfriend replied truthfully. "I love them."

"So why are you here then?" Your father demands. "If you love them so much, what are you trying to prove? Why do you need to seem like you're this perfect boyfriend?"

"Because I left them!" Bucky seemed to shout in a hushed voice. His voice drops to a harmless whisper: it's so soft you have to strain your ears just to hear.

"I left them all alone. I made Y/N suffer through hell and back because of a decision I made. I left so I could seem like a better man to you, but apparently it didn't!" He exclaimed quietly, not wanting you to hear.

"But thank God Y/N was still here for me. I honestly thought they would get fed up after waiting years for me, but they didn't; unlike you, they had faith that I was coming back to them, dead or alive. So now I'm done trying to please you, to stand up to your ridiculous standards. I thought me appreciating your child would be enough for you, making them happy, was enough, but apparently not."

His speech immediately gets you all riled up; there's an urge to yell in your dad's face. You hear a fork clinking against a plate before your father clears his throat. The action makes you wait.

"So you'd do anything to keep my little (Nickname) safe?" He asks Bucky seriously, clasping his hands together. Unbeknownst to you, Bucky was staring your father straight in the eye, clenching his own hands.

"Sir, I don't think you understood me at all." He looks to the direction of the bathroom before looking back at your dad. "I'd die if that's what Y/N wanted me to do. If it made them happy, I'd do it in a heartbeat."

There's silence until it's broken.

"Then I guess you can continue the relationship with my blessing."

It's then where you make yourself known. "Hi, guys!" You say cheerfully, pretending you hadn't eavesdropped on their conversation.

"What'd I miss?" You continue taking your seat next to Bucky. He smiles as he wraps an arm around your waist, pulling you closer. He quickly presses a kiss against your lips before looking to your dad.

They share a look. "Nothing much, darling."

You never ask about the conversation, figuring it was none of your business. But honestly, it didn't matter. Your father finally accepted Bucky, Bucky loved you, and you were all happy.

It didn't matter what other people thought about the two of you anymore. Bucky was safe at home with you. That's the way it was meant to be.

#James Buchanan Barnes x Reader #James Buchanan Bucky Barnes x Reader #Bucky Barnes x Reader #Winter Soldier x Reader #Winter Soldier Imagine #Bucky Barnes Imagine #Marvel x Reader #Marvel Imagine #Sebastian Stan Imagine #Sebastian Stan x Reader

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msf-diamond-dog · 3 years

Note

I SAID ANSWER ALL THE MF QUESTIONS BEECH DONT MAKE ME COME OVER THERE

Okie dokii

1. What’s one animal you wish you could have as a pet but can’t?

jellyfish

2. Favorite thing to wear to sleep?

Usually just shorts and a tshirt

3. What song really gets you going?

Right now, Lights Out by 3Teeth

4. Where do you usually eat your meals?

In my bedroom

5. Favorite meal: breakfast, lunch, or dinner?

I dont eat breakfast or lunch so

6. Most embarrassing habit?

Bein an asshole

7. Chocolate or fruity candy?

Fruity

8. Soft or hard tacos?

Depends on the taco, man.

9. Worst way to break up a fight?

/ryan stiles voice/ you guys wanna stop a fight

10. Best thing to say in an elevator of strangers?

I aint talk to people

11. What color/design are your bedsheets?

Just gray flannel

12. Any hidden talents?

I aint even got any obvious ones,

13. Favorite thing to drink out of (mug, glass, etc.)?

I love a good pint glass.

14. Socks or bare feet around the house?

Barefeet

15. Favorite board game?

Candyland bitches

16. Do you sleep with the fan on or off?

Always on

17. Heat on or keep it cold with lots of layers?

Cold with lots of layers.

18. Do you sing in the shower?

Always

19. Favorite song to belt out at the top of your lungs when you’re alone?

Grave by Hellyeah

20. Last thing you cried about?

Anxiety attack a couple weeks ago

21. At what age did you first have alcohol?

21, didnt have any before then

22. Relationship status?

Single but into someone

23. What’s the most amount of money you’ve spent on a single item of clothing?

I dont spend a ton on clothes but I think I payed like 60 dollars for a band shirt once

24. What do you typically wear to formal events?

Nicer clothes than usual?

25. Favorite memory?

Just bein a chill happy kid honestly,

26. Gum or breath mints?

Gum

27. Favorite shoes?

Mah boots.

28. If you could change one thing about yourself, what would it be?

This whole how I look situation.

29. What is the natural state of your hair?

I gots a shaved head

30. Have you ever had braces?

No, wish I did though, I hate my smile

31. Most dangerous thing you’ve ever done?

Overdose.

32. Most embarrassing thing your parents have caught you doing?

I dont know really. I think I embarrass my parents more than the other way around

33. Last time you had an orgasm?

A couple nights ago

34. Celebrity crush(es)?

Legit dont have any. I have no connection with any of them so

35. Windows or Mac?

Windows

36. How old were you when you learned to ride a bike?

Uhhh 7. Our neighbor taught me.

37. Makeup or natural?

Both. Both is good.

38. What color do you wear the most?

Black!

39. Favorite season?

Winter all the way

40. Umbrella or rain coat?

I live in the desert and it hasnt rained in like 6 months so neither. Whenever it rains I just stand outside.

41. Have you ever fallen out of a tree?

Prolly happened as a kid but I dont remember. We had a tree we all used to love climbing at the house I was a youngin at.

42. First car you ever owned?

Same car I have now, my 91 Nissian Pickup.

43. What time do you usually go to bed?

Anywhere from 12 to 2 am.

44. Are you a competitive person?

Not really no.

45. Least favorite color?

Yellow

46. First pet you’ve ever owned?

A fishy

47. Sweet or salty?

Why not both

48. Favorite pasta dish?

Anything with basil and olive oil 👌

49. Favorite kind of chips?

Nitro Takis are the shit

50. Talk about something you’re passionate about.

Music. Nuff said.

51. What are some of your hobbies?

Music, video games, gunpla, legos, anything that kinda creative really

52. Caffeine? If so, what kind?

Monsters

53. Favorite kind of pizza?

Extra pepperoni with anchovies 👌

54. Fast food or sit-down restaurant?

Fast food. I dont like eating around people

55. Lots of acquaintances or a handful of close friends?

Close friends.

56. Something that ruins your appetite?

Being in a bad mood

57. Favorite labels about you?

58. Are you a religious person?

Not anymore. I grew up that way but organized religion always pisses me off. Im much more spiritual

59. Night out with a bunch of friends in public or night in with one friend having deep conversations?

One friend

60. What size shoe do you wear?

11 1/2

61. Favorite thing about yourself?

The fact most people cant read my sarcasm

62. Have you ever told someone you loved them first?

I dont think anyone has ever told me first

63. Have you ever had sex on the first date?

Kinda sorta?

64. Heroes or villains?

Maximals all the way.

65. Favorite fruit?

Prolly mangos or strawberries

66. Least favorite fruit?

Unripe melon.

67. Favorite vegetable?

Potates

68. Least favorite vegetable?

I like all the ones ive had Im not picky but the lowest prolly be carrots?

69. How many plates can you eat at a buffet?

Usually 2 or 3

70. Favorite dessert?

Whiskey

71. Do you play any sports?

No, never been my thing

72. Age you learned how to swim?

7 or 8 I think.

73. Tell a funny story.

My boss keep salt lamps in every room of his house "just in case" of rfid waves (???) but refuses to wear a mask when he goes out cause "theres no proof it does anything".

74. What’s one interesting thing about your culture?

How much closer the brown side of my family is compared to the white side

75. What’s one annoying thing about your culture?

All the gossip, man.

76. What job would you be terrible at?

Math teacher.

77. Would you rather watch a TV show or a movie?

TV shows

78. What’s your favorite compliment to give?

Anything that makes someones day a little better!

79. What’s your favorite compliment to receive?

I do not like receiving compliments i always feel awkward

80. Has your opinion changed on something recently?

Not that I can think of off the top of my head

81. Do you always order the same thing at a restaurant or order something different each time?

Usually the same thing

82. What’s something you’ve always wanted to try but haven’t yet?

drug

83. If you could learn to do anything right now, what would it be?

Record

84. Favorite physical feature about yourself?

85. Least favorite physical feature about yourself?

The whole the things

86. What’s one amazing thing you did that nobody was around to see?

Survived 👈👈😎

87. If you could change your height, would you?

Maybe, I feel pretty short

88. What’s something you would rate 10/10?

Holding hands

89. Heels or flats?

Why not platform boots

90. What’s something you wish you had more knowledge about?

Music

91. Would you want to be famous?

92. What’s something you would get arrested for?

Prolly trespassing

93. What’s your spirit animal?

Water bears 🤔

94. What’s the luckiest thing that’s ever happened to you?

Won tickets and got to meet Jonathan Davis so that was pretty cool

95. Are you the type to have an organized mess, or no mess at all?

Organized mess

96. Do you tend to make decisions based on the past, present, or future?

All of the above if able

97. Are you a planner or a more spontaneous person?

Planner

98. Thoughts on the oxford comma?

Important

99. What do you hope never changes?

How close the sun is to the earth

100. How would you celebrate your 100th birthday?

I aint ever wanna be that old.

Thank you Audi!!

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glutenfree-rootbeer · 4 years

Text

Can I tell you a story?

In middleschool/highschool I started getting sick whenever I would eat. I kinda gained a lot of weight at first, and then I got tired of feeling sick all the time so I stopped eating and then I lost a lot of weight. My mom tried taking me to the doctor at one point but they had no idea what was wrong (circa2009). It wasnt till I turned fucking 20, I begged my mom to help me find a specialist. I went to a specialist who asked me 100 questions about food I was eating/when I ate it/what foods triggered it. I kept a journal for 2 weeks of everything I ate and everything that made me sick, long story short. It was wheat.

As a home baker- (literally, I made cupcakes/cookies/brownies for every single friends birthday, or on long weekends, for fun, for family,for any fucking reason; I love baking....myself included 🥁 *stoner joke*) I was so fucking sad. But over the years, ive embraced it and learned all new recipes and how to make the foods I love without getting sick. (Like pizza 🍕)

Its also made me have to cook a lot of my meals at home. Thats one thing that has been super hard, especially with quarantine. Luckily theres so many alternatives these days compared to 5-10 years ago. Also im so lucky I was raised in the kitchen cooking/baking.

Anyways, heres the gluten free pizza I made tonight 😬 its not as pretty as ones ive made in the past but it was still yummy. Homemade dough, homemade sauce :D

#recipes #cooking #baking #gluten intolerance #weight problems #gluten free #pizza #bobs red mill #homemade #with love #personal #home chef #weak ass tummy #food

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oswednesday · 3 years

Text

i tend to eat like Comforting breakfasts a lot, like often i can only get one meal in so like its breakfast babey! sometimes i get to like time for coffee and a snack, i rarely make it to lunch gfdgfd anything beyond that is like a once a month occurance if ever like a Big marker on the calendar like had some afternoon snack had dinner all fucked up who? not me, but that makes me not sure what to eat on birthdays, other Holidays omg is it obnoxious to wrap bdays into holidays, i dont think so i think its convenient gfdgdf have like easy food guidelines to follow, its less make it up for yourself and its kinda like oh, i dont really have a family tradition at all, i cant even tell you what my family did for me growing up at all, i have zero memory of that being special or important to anyone, i cant even recall being like asked to pick i think if anything id have gotten yelled at cause we’d be going out to eat For me sometime that month so it be selfish to take up so much time or something like that

so ive been doing like chocolate chip muffins and a fruit salad cup and like a tea latte for a few years now like deciding well, i need to care for me at least, which if i had the means and stuff like the ability to like pull up somewhere and get a single serving of fruit salad on the reg, like i could but its like the time and energy to go anywhere would absolutely destroy me and like the cost of it i havnt felt ready to bare but would be like my go to regular time breakfast like not every day but its like got everything but meat which i like to do like Right when i first get up after water like a quick bite of a meat thing thats like picked or dried or however like salami i think the meat fat is good for you sometimes i shake that up when im planning to eat meat later, so its like, aspirational like whats exceptional now will be the norm later

and some new special thing would take its place, and that unknown kind of frightens me which i know is super silly to be afraid of like the excitement or like hope or whatever some kind of emotion that should be positive i guess hurts so it gets like just fear like any kind of pleasant thing is occompanied by past pain, i read about like other peoples experiences and they say this pain fades

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sunnybugz · 5 years

Text

only fools

chapter: iv

word count: 1968

authors note: this chapter has been finished for over a week, but i’ve been freaking out over whether or not it was good enough hhh. im still super anxious to post this, so please give me some feedback! i love y’all

11:05 AM, Gina Linetti’s car

Rosa had spent a while trying to figure out what to wear. Gina refused to tell her where they were going, so she eventually just decided on a pair of dark wash jeans, a long-sleeved black t-shirt, and her black Docs. She wore a little more makeup than usual, but nothing too elaborate. She worried that Gina would think she was too much, or not enough, but managed to not freak out before Gina showed up at her door. Luckily, she was 15 minutes late, giving Rosa enough time to fix her curly hair.

When Gina had shown up at Rosa’s house, Rosa got a pit caught up in gay panic. Gina looked absolutely gorgeous, wearing an olive-green sweater with the collar of her white button down sticking out and a pair of jeans, and her auburn hair was just down, curled at the ends. She had on minimal makeup, yet still looked absolutely beautiful. Rosa literally stood there frozen for a few seconds before Lillian shouted, “Bye Rosa!” from the couch.

“So, does Lillian know?” Gina asked her as the doors shut.

“Uh, yeah. She heard our phone call through the stupid thin wall between our room. It’s like she’s trying to spy on me sometimes!” Rosa says. Gina smiles at her and shakes her head, her cheeks flushing a slight pink. Gina blushing was probably the cutest thing Rosa had ever seen.

Now she was sitting in Gina’s car, listening to her sing along to some pop song on the radio that Rosa didn’t recognize. It was her new favourite though, not because of the actual piece, but because Gina was singing it, and anything that Gina did was Rosa’s favourite. The song ended, and Gina looked at Rosa with a smile. Rosa had a huge grin plastered on her face, and she felt amazing. She was in the car with her girlfriend, and she couldn’t be happier.

“So are you planning on telling me where we’re going?” Rosa asked. Gina had a mischievous grin on her face.

“Nope, you’ll see when we get there. How have I dealt with you being so impatient for the past five years?” Gina responds. Rosa smiles and gives a slight eye roll.

“The same way I’ve tolerated you breaking out into random dance numbers. You thought it was cute,” Rosa responds. It feels weird to flirt so lightheartedly. She’d never felt this way with Marcus, Adrian, Becky, Aubrey, or even Alicia. It was like she was floating.

“I feel so attacked,” Gina laughed. “I mean, you aren’t wrong, but jeez!”

The two of them drove and flirted for a few more minutes before Gina pulled into the marketplace parking lot. Rosa looked at her quizzically.

“You’re taking me to the market?” She asked. “Not that that’s a bad thing, any place with you is the best.”. She realizes she’s rambling and turns bright red.

“You’ll see,” Gina says. “And by the way, you’re adorable when you blush.”. This causes Rosa to turn an even deeper shade of red, and Gina laughs.

It turns out Gina was taking her to get gelato. They go to a smaller stall in the market, with more flavours than Rosa has ever tried in her life. Gina gets birthday cake, and Rosa gets coffee. The two of them walk back out to Gina’s car, because according to Gina, there’s still more places to go.

Their second destination is a small diner that Rosa has passed a hundred times but never gone to. “You’ve talked about this place like, a billion times,” Gina said. “I had to take you here on our first date”. Rosa’s cheeks flush pink at that D-word. She could barely believe she was on a real date with the girl she’s liked since eighth grade.

The two of them get a booth right by a window. Rosa orders a burger and Gina orders nachos. They get a strawberry milkshake to split. The two of them are sitting, waiting for their food to come, while Gina gossips about the girls in her dance class. Rosa just sits there, staring into Gina’s beautiful blue eyes. She could listen to that girl talk for hours. Even though Rosa doesn’t know who Natasha is or why she’s allegedly pregnant at 19, or even why Gina cares so much about exposing her for faking her pregnancy, but the one thing Rosa does know is she loves Gina. She loves how passionate she gets when she talks, she loves how her face scrunches up when she smiles, she loves how she knows she’s always the most beautiful girl in the room.

Rosa is laughing at a stupid joke Gina made when their food comes. Rosa tries to stop herself from inhaling hers, because even though she’s known Gina since the eighth grade, she’s still embarrassed about eating in front of her or anyone really. She eventually gives into the delicious burger in front of her, stopping to make silly quips during Gina’s story. They take turns sipping from the pink milkshake between the two of them, but after Gina finally finishes her story, the two of them lean in at the same time, and they almost kiss. Rosa turns beet red and hides her face in her hands, smiling behind them. Gina giggles. “C’mon, stop hiding, you’re cute when you’re embarrassed,” she says, but this just makes Rosa’s face burn red, and she’s pretty sure she’s blushing down to her neck. Somehow, she can make out with Gina in a dressing room and be perfectly fine, but putting her face close to Gina’s on a date nearly kills her? “Rosa, if you don’t move your hands in the next three seconds I’m eating your food.” Gina says. She starts counting down from three, and on one, Rosa finally takes her hands away from her face, and Gina smiles big. “See, I told you that you were cute.” She says, making Rosa smile.

“I am not cute,” Rosa says. Gina just rolls her eyes.

“Of course you are Rosie. You’re adorable and pretty and I know you’re a badass but badasses can still be cute.” She says in response to Rosa. Rosa feels her face heat up, but not in the good way this time.

“No, I’m not pretty or any of that stuff. I don’t look anything like those pretty girls in magazines and on TV,” Rosa says, her voice getting quieter as she looks down at the table. She doesn’t know why she’s getting so emotional in the middle of a diner. She’s always been insecure of how she looks, but she usually just hides it with her badass attitude and a stoic face. Only around Gina does she really feel like she can be open about how she feels.

Gina looks at Rosa with sad eyes, slightly shaking her head. How can she not see how perfect she is? Gina has literally never seen a more stunning person in her life, and no matter who she’s been with, she’s always wished it was Rosa. She scoots into the booth with Rosa, putting her arm around her girlfriend.

“Baby, you’re right. You don’t look like the girls on TV. You look better. You’re absolutely beautiful, and gorgeous, and stunning, and elegant, and every single synonym for those words in existence. You’re perfect,” Gina whispers, rocking her girlfriend slightly, kissing her hair. Rosa begins to cry, tears spilling over her cheeks.

“I’m sorry, I’m being so stupid-” She starts, but Gina cuts her off.

“Don’t say that. You’re the smartest person I know. You aren’t stupid,” Gina reassures her.

“Gina, we’re friends with Amy Santiago, you can’t say that.” Rosa laughs a little.

“No, you’re definitely smarter than her. Don’t tell her that I said that though, she’ll probably beat me to death with one of her binders.” Rosa actually laughs at this, wiping tears away from her face. She grabs Gina’s hand, who gives hers a squeeze, and they finish their meal like that, sitting in the same booth, holding hands. It feels safe, and Gina’s heart swells a little every time she sees Rosa sneak a peek at her. This girl was so beautiful, she really would be the death of her, Gina thought. She hadn’t felt this much for any person in her life, except for her mom and Jake, both of which were family love. She’s never truly been in love other than with Rosa, and it felt nice to be a little less alone.

When the bill comes, Rosa goes to pull out her wallet, but Gina grabs her wrist. “Nuh uh, I asked you out, I’m paying,” She says. Rosa rolls her eyes.

“You already paid for us to get ice cream!” Rosa says, but Gina just gives her that look, and Rosa knows there’s no arguing with her. “Fine, but I’m getting you next time.”

The waitress smiles at the two girls, wisps of blonde hair framing her face. “You two are cute together, I’m glad you’re able to be out at such a young age. I’m still not out to my parents, but I’m happy you girls are able to do it,” She says. Rosa’s stomach drops a bit when she says this, but she smiles anyways.

“Thanks,” she says to the pretty waitress. Gina looks at Rosa, and can tell something is off. Rosa shakes her head a bit, and Gina knows that means she doesn’t want to talk about it. Rosa isn’t in the mood to talk about more sad things at the moment, she’s already cried once. Luckily, Gina understands. The two of them have always understood each other like that, despite how different they are.

The two of them are walking back to Gina’s car, holding hands. Gina is swinging Rosa’s hand and Rosa is going along with it. God, if anyone from school saw them doing this, Rosa’s reputation would be completely different. However, she doesn’t really care all that much. She would give up everything if it meant she got to be with Gina. When they reach Gina’s car, Rosa holds the door open for her. “Wow, Rosa Diaz is a gentleman, who would’ve guessed?” Gina says. Rosa smiles and pecks her on the lips. Gina grins and looks at the ground for just a moment before getting into the car.

Gina and Rosa drive around for a while, just talking. They talk about school, and the play, and their friends, and all the while holding hands and making googly eyes at each other.

“Do you wanna go chill at my place?” Gina asks. Rosa smiles.

“Is this the intro to some cheesy porno?” She responds. This sends Gina into a fit of hysterics, and it’s lucky the two of them are stopped at a red light, because otherwise, Gina most definitely would have crashed the car.

“No, it’s you using up all my gas money bitch! Although…” she trails off. Rosa rolls her eyes and laughs.

“Sorry, I’ll pay you back for the gas. How long have we been driving anyways?” Rosa says, completely ignoring the last part of Gina’s sentence.

“An hour, and you don’t have to worry about paying me back babe, this is a date,” Gina says, and Rosa kisses her on the cheek.

“Best first date I’ve ever been on,” Rosa replies. Gina just smiles. “Also, you’ve got lipstick on your cheek.”

“Diaz, if you aren’t kidding I’m going to kill you,” jokes Gina. Rosa actually has no clue if Gina is joking or not, but hopes for the best.

“No you aren’t, because I’m pretty sure I owe you a second date,” Rosa flirts.

Gina shakes her head and smiles. “Oh, Rosie. if only you knew what you were getting yourself into.”

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anakinsmcu · 5 years

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How Nintendo stopped me from killing myself.

I have struggled with mental health pretty much all my ‘grown up’ life. From being bullied in high school to having an over critical mother (who I love very much) I’ve struggled.

This past year has been the hardest time for me. I’m 20 yeas old with a full-time job; amazing friends who care about me; the best boyfriend who I’m so unbelievably lucky to have yet I still have depression and anxiety and often question the idea of suicide. I’ve only once went so far to the idea of actually killing myself when I was around 14/15 years old that I wrote a note and sent it my friend. Sometimes I think yeah ok I was just being a teenager, the perfect example of an emo who cut their thighs and cried to my chemical romance but more recently I have just been thinking wow maybe it would be better for everyone around me. It would stop the hurting for me and I could just fall asleep and that would be it. The end. But then I couldn’t do that to the people who love me. I think when I’m in my depressive states nobody cares about me and I should just die but then people do care about me and it’s just my brain telling me lies. It would ruin lives and hurt the people I love the most if I was ever to kill myself. My best friend would but so hurt that I didn’t talk to her first, my boyfriend, my family and I couldn’t do that to them, so I never would. If anyone I know personally reads this you don’t need to worry because I’m never going to go that far, I’ve passed the hurdle and I do believe I am getting better mentally.

Probably wondering how Nintendo comes into this right?

Animal Crossing: New Leaf saved my life (with the help of many other things such as anti-depressants and my boyfriend) but animal crossing weirdly was there for me when I had nothing else. It was my reason to get out of bed in the morning. I had to get up because if I didn’t who was going to water my hybrids and talk to my villagers? It’s Sylvia’s birthday today I need to go to her party, she invited me. What if I missed Crazy Redds visit to my town? I need to get all the artwork for my museum I promised Blathers I would. It sounds ridicules to be saying that a game helped me but sometimes I would be in such a dark place. My boyfriend works full time, my best friend lives in London which is a 7 hour drive away from me. I didn’t want to bother people with my problems which weren’t even problems. I couldn’t phone somebody and just say “hello, I’m really sad. So sad I can’t eat, and I’ve cried non-stop for two hours. Why? I don’t have a reason sorry”. So, I would go and play animal crossing, I would talk to my villagers, they say nice things to me which is a code in a game and they say the same 10 phrases to everyone who plays but it was nice also made me feel helpful when I did deeds for them. I set goals for myself that yes, sound very dumb and pointless that buy this time next week I want to have found all the fossils for my town. It got me out of bed plus gave me something to care about.

But then it’s how did Nintendo save me and not just animal crossing?

Nintendo have released a video saying that they are releasing a new animal crossing game for switch in 2019. I need to be alive, so I can play this game. But also, I bought my first Zelda game as a distraction from my own brain but now I want to play all the Zelda games. I told my boyfriend to buy professor Layton and we now have the first four games and I want to be around to help him with puzzles because it’s fun. I’m not saying that animal crossing alone helped me. My boyfriend did. He is the main reason why I am doing so much better now, he would talk to me and wouldn’t get mad at me for crying every single night over nothing. He would make tea for me if I wasn’t feeling well and he would work all day at a job he hates to come home to a house where the pots needed doing, the floor needed mopping and I have just been there like “hey babe look at how well my flowers are growing in my game” but he would look at my virtual flowers and not get mad. I love him a lot and I’m very thankful for him. He deserves the world and not a depressed girlfriend who can’t make more than five different meals. But soon I’ll be able to make six different meals and then even seven, eight, ten different meals. I’m going to get better and go back to work. Go to the gym, become a better person in myself for him. I’m going to keep playing Nintendo games and I’m going to keep playing animal crossing. I would suggest buying the games because they’re so wholesome and calming. They do help in my opinion. Thank you for reading this post, its very sad but it’s something ive wanted to talk about for a while without being sad. In my own words and my own feelings, this is what depression has been like for me. I have single handled kept PG tips company from going bankrupt with the amount of tea I’ve drank plus also my skin has been glowing because no make-up and tears have been my go so skin care routine for almost two months.

If anyone is reading this is still in the dark times, don’t worry you will get better and come out the light side of the tunnel. I’m willing to talk if I am ever needed. Thank you.

#acnl #animal crossing #nintendo #new leaf #depression #suicide #TW #tw: sucide mention

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itdisneymatter · 7 years

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Day 02 - Epcot

TLDR: Epcot. A slightly later start today though a pretty full and non stop day once we began. Spaceship Earth up first, squeezed into the Ellen's Energy Adventure, then Test Track with a touch of competitive spirit. Living with the Land, Circle of Life and then Soarin’ in quick succession. Finished off with the new ride - Frozen Ever After and decided to skip out on World Showcase in favour of heading straight to Miller's Alehouse for my first proper meal of the trip. Walmart, then home, early (earlier).

The future is what you make it!

Sooo Robert had been unimpressed by the shops we had visited to far, mainly because they didn’t stock Pokemon cards. With the thunderstorms last night, we promised we visit Walmart first thing, which we did prior to picking up my Mum & Dad for Epcot. That meant skipping breakfast. Again. Picked up a wee rucksack so we could carry around all our rain jackets and little extras. Robert got his Pokemon cards and Gracie managed to find yet another collectable in the form of Hatchimal miniatures. Patrick and I had been speaking prior to the holiday about another card collection called Magic: The Gathering, but neither me nor him knew much about them. He picked up a starter pack to have a look. As someone who like his RPG and Fantasy things, I was a little intrigued. I dont think it will take Patrick long to become an expert.

Swung back around to pick up my Mum and Dad who were waiting for us at their Hotel with coffee in hand - result! The other party (which I'll cover in just a sec), were heading to Mass first and planned to catch us up at Epcot when they were done. So let me backtrack a little and explain who is actually all here as I havent yet done so and were already two days in - thats just impolite, so sorry.

Fifeteen of us in total. First off we have our wee family of five, Me, Ann, Patrick, Robert & Grace - Ive went on at length about all of us at some point in the past - yeah, you know who we are. Then its my mum and dad, Sadie & Wullie, Orlando veterans and all round great parents. My brother Michael is up next, with Sarah Jane, Corrie, Alessio and their wee baby who recently had her first birthday - Isabella. And finally we have my sister Pauline with Kevin & Emily. Both Emily and Isabella are first timers to Orlando and all things Disney, so makes it an extra special visit. Ourselves and my parents share the first car, My brother, sister and their families share the second. I'll refer to the latter as 'the other party' at times but this is entirely for brevity. Now, back to the story...

We ended up getting to Epcot around 10:30 which was right in time for our first Fast Pass - Spaceship Earth. A big slow moving train through the anals of Civilization, located in the big multi-faceted ball that Epcot is renowned for. Y'know its a fairly simple ride and I've done this it a fair few times now, but this like many others, never ceases to amaze me. If you've ever seen Inside Out, I imagine this whole place to be a core memory and have its own wee island somewhere in the depths of my brain, churning out little orbs of Joy. If you haven't seen Inside Out, then all of what I've just said will sound really really weird, but trust me - go watch it. Good start to the day!

Hey You Guys!

Next we checked out Test Track but it was down for some unknown reason, so grabbed some coffee and pastries will we waited for the other party (that being, oh wait right we did that already, didn't we?). By the wonders of Whatsapp and Feel at Home from Three (shameless plug), Kev let us know that they'd arrived and we arranged to met them back at the entrance. We'd coordinated our t-shirts today, those being our new Celtic Champions 6-in-a-row tee :) which made it real easy to spot them. On the subject of attire, zipped pockets - how amazing are they? I know I sound like I'm getting old, but they're definitely the way to go if you're on holiday!

Ann really hurt her eye over the course of the morning and it was progressively getting worse as time went on. I suggested that she patch over her eye to give it a rest, however this led me to call her One Eyed Willie, which didnt go down to well, so stopped in fear of my life (or having to walk the plank - right, sorry Ann, that was the last one, promise ;) x )

Next we headed to Ellen's Energy Adventure, a big moving cinema all about th wonders of energy hosted by the hilarious Ellen DeGeneres & Bill Nye, the science guy. Funny as well as factual too, couldnt go wrong.

Now came Test track, a ride where family loyalty went out the window as we went head to head to design the most efficient car. Super fast, fun ride and good to see the competitive spirit from everyone - even Gracie was doing a little trash talking (well she was in my team, otherwise I wouldn't have encouraged it ; ). In the end, we failed to hit top spot, but our car was easily the best looking one out the lot (all designed by my lovely co-pilot Gracie).

Scores on the doors were as follows:

Ann, Kevin & Pauline - 208 Michael, SJ & Emily- 205 Me, Dad & Grace - 204 Patrick, Robert & Corrie - 156 (who intially claimed 226 - what a bunch 'a chancers!)

All in all great fun and everyone loved it (especially Gracie who wanted go back on it straight away).

Living With The Land Fast Pass (on the other side of the park) up next, which we made it with 5 minutes to spare. Nice boat ride about farming and such (seriously) with Patrick even enquiring about the Behind The Scenes tour (or Behind The Seeds as they called it) - he just loves learning new things! He also managed to spot 2 hidden Mickeys on the ride (thats disguised Mickey symbols all over the Disney parks) - so well done PG!

Quick stop at The Circle Of life, a wee environmental film featuring The Lion King's Simba, Timon & Pumba, which began with the song of the same name. That song gives me goosebumps every single time! *shudder*

After that was Soarin', which we had passes for, but everyone wanted to ride so meant we had to split up into two groups, one to watch Isabella while the other went on the ride. While we were waiting to ride (with views of an cool looking India Jones-esque style journey being mapped out on the screen before us), Robert asked the attendant out of the blue if we could get in the first row - good ole Ro! :)

This ride was Epic - its the only word to describe it. Flying through the air, over different landmarks of the world aking in hugs vistas, they even had different smells. Everyone loved it and even my Dad rearked it was the best ride yet as we walked off the ride.

Do you wanna build a snowman?

During the wait and switch-over of groups we came to the decision that the five of us and my mum and dad would head home after the last ride and try getting a proper bite to eat when it was a little quieter, whilst, Pauline, Michael & Co would remain in the park and finish off the remaining rides.

So onward it was to Frozen Ever After, Epcot's newest ride based on the extremely popular Disney movie and set in Norway (well Epcot's mini representation of Norway on their World Showcase). On our way, we bumped into Pluto (the dog, not the planet-oid-y thing), so used the opportunity to grab our first character autograph! Kids were really excited! There was a Disney Photo-pass photographer there too so managed to get some nice groups shots (except for ours, so had to use one of my own photos here as a backup).

The ride was a great little boat trip through the Kingdom of Arendelle with Anna and Elsa (who is my favourite princess without red hair, ok ok, she isnt really a princess, yeah I know, but still). Even the Snow-gies made an appearance! And with the ride came another ride photo from the Memory Maker - excellent! :D The kids loved it and Emily was skipping out of the ride singing Let It Go at the top of her voice! :)

So we said our goodbyes and left the other party then, who planned to continue their travels around the World Showcase and possibly grab Spaceship Earth, which they missed, on the way out. The World Showcase is an awesome thing, but I think the allure of a hearty meal after a long day was far too tempting for us.

We headed straight to Miller's Alehouse from the park in an attempt to avoid the queues and wait times... which we did! However once we were seated and after a quick scan of the menu - the Snow Crab that Gracie had set her heart on to share with me was no longer on the menu - she was more gutted than me! :( In its place I opted for a nice wee Flat Iron Steak & Coconut Shrimp combo, which was awesome. Grace and Ann chose to share the 35 Shrimp menu item (which was 35 shrimps funnily enough) and Grace inhaled about 18 of them. Man, that girl loves her seafood! The Nacho starter that Ann thought she might need however was an absolute mountain and in the end, defeated all of us (its really big enough for two peeps to share as a main meal if Im being honest). The food and menu options in the place are second to none so were definitely planning a return visit in the next few days with our entire group!

A second trip to Walmart rounded off the day in order that we could take a slightly more relaxed look at what they had to offer. The last time I was here I picked up some amazing Cinnamon Pecan coffee, but alas they appeared to no longer stock it or any equivalent. The boys picked up more trading cards, Grace picked up more Hatchimals and we got a variety of non-essential items including a Star Wars decal for the car, a Pecan pie (obviously I have a thing for Pecans) and some Harley Quinn Comics (and I have a thing for her too ; ). Had a look at the laptops too, which were ridiculously cheap, so toying with the idea of picking one up, but Ill need to do some in-depth investigations first.

Rest day on the cards for tomorrow with shopping planned in the am, so should a relatively quiet one. I'm kinda looking forward to it in all honesty, following the two successful but extremely packed days we've all had.

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marissxhunt · 7 years

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THE BASICS:

What is your character’s full name?: Look up the meaning of their first name: Her name is Marissa Julia Hunt - Marissa means ‘of the sea’ and Julia means ‘Youthful’.

Does your characters have any nicknames?: Do they liked those nicknames?: Mas, Riss, Rissa - Marissa doesn’t mind what anyone calls her. They can call her anything and she wouldn’t bat an eyelid.

What is the title or label you can describe your character with?: The Hopeless Romantic

Age: 26

Birthday: March 3rd 1988

Nationality: Is your character born here? If so which state? Do they live in the States with a green card? Do they have an accents?: American - She was born in New York but has an undescriptive American accent.

Origin: Are your character’s parents born in the States? What nationality do they have?: America.

Gender: What do they define themselves at? What are their preferred pronouns?: Female - She/her

Sexual Orientation: Pansexual

Relationship Status: Single

Religion: explain why they chose this religion. Did their parents raised them with it? Or did an event in their life changed their beliefs?: Marissa isn’t religeous but wishes she had some kind of belief system.

Occupation: Is this their first choice? Are they happy with their job? If your character is a student: Do they like course they’re studying? Would they rather be doing something else?: She’s a social worker. It’s what she has wanted to do since she was little.

PHYSICAL TRAITS:

Eye color: Brown

Hair color: Do they dye their hair?: Blonde. She dyed her hair brunette when she was in High School so she could look more like her brother.

Height: 5′2

Body build: Skinny

Notable physical traits: She has a beauty spot on her cheek.

Skin color: White

Blood type: AB+

Clothing size: S

Shoe size: 8

HEALTH AND IMAGE:

Diet: Do they eat healthy or not?: Marissa eats what she wants, but she doesn’t eat often. She has one, maybe two meals a day.

Fitness: Does your character work out? What kinda of exercises do they practice: Cardio or Strength? Do they like to work out?kinda of exercises do they practice: Cardio or Strength? Do they like to work out?: Marissa has a gym membership but only manages to go once or twice every fortnight.

Handicaps: Did your character lose a leg or an arm? Did something happen to them that makes it harder to do normal daily activities?: N/A

Allergies: She is deathly allergic to dogs

Illnesses: Is your characters diagnosed with an illness? This can be anything from mental to physical. For example: Asperger syndrome, Lupus, Migraine, etc.: N/A

Disorders: Eating disorder? past addictions?: Marissa has always had a problem with food, and developed a slight eating disorder after her mother died, though she was able to beat it when she moved to LA.

Broken bones: Did your character ever broke a bone?: Marissa broke her collar bone when she was 19

Piercings: She doesn’t have any piercings.

Tattoos: She has a tattoo on her lower back for her mom.

Scars: N/A

Favorite Perfume / Cologne: Marissa wears Daisy by marc jacobs.

CHARACTER:

Skills: Does your character have any skills? Can be anything from being able to lick your elbow to playing guitar.: She knows how to play the violin.

Quirks: An unusual way of behaving: hating a certain color, finds everything funny, can’t bear to throw food away, etc.: Marissa chews her lip whenever she’s nervous.

Hobbies: She mostly likes to read. Stick her in any situation, as long as she has a book then she’s happy.

Habits: Marissa is always up before 8 on a morning. Even if she doesn’t have to work.

Guilty pleasures: She loves a good poncho.

Pet peeves: What does your character absolutely hate that other people can do: She absolutely hates people being late!

MISCELLANEOUS (SHOULD BE WRITTEN IN CHARACTER):

Favorite genre of music: I love me some country music! It just chill me and it’s perfect, honestly.

Favorite dish: If I could eat pasta for the rest of my life it would be PERFECT

Favorite animal: Cats! You can’t beat a cat!

A superpower your characters wants to have: Invisibility. I would love the ability to vanish and never be seen again.

If they made a movie about your character their life, what would the title be?: I honestly have absolutely no idea. I’m not creative enough for that...

Food or sex: I would choose food. I could definitely live without the other thing.

Their life’s theme song: Kelly Clarksons song, Breaking your own heart

Favorite day of the week and why?: I love Wednesdays. It was always the day my mom had off work so it’s always been special to me.

What came first, the chicken or the egg?: Egg. For sure.

Do you prefer hot or cold weather and why?: Hot. I prefer the clothes I can wear in the Summer and when it’s hot.

Describe your first crush: What did the person look like? What was his personality? How did it to have a crush on that person?: He was, and still is, tall, dark and handsome. He was a few years older than me but you would never have guess. He was the kindest person I think Ive ever met. He looked after me when everyone else was being mean.

Your house is on fire. What are the first three things you grab?: My kitten, my purse and my photo album

#lcallingtask

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lordhenry · 5 years

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survey 40

What was the last thing you purchased? Yesterday I pre-ordered Hozier’s latest album so I can get exclusive early access to book tix for his European tour this September lol.

How many people have you truly fallen IN love with? One.

Has anybody ever called you a tease? Not necessarily described as such in general, but I have been told that a few times by my boyfriend for acting cheeky in the moment.

What is your significant other’s middle name? He doesn’t have one.

Who were your last 4 missed calls? My boyfriend. All 4 of them.

What colour did you last paint your nails? This sort of... if you were to darken seafoam green?

What were you doing at 4 AM? To be honest, crying. I didn’t know what I was crying for either, but I just all of a sudden cried around 3–4am last night. My boyfriend reassured me that it could just be my hormones but I don’t really know and I don’t understand.

What was the last thing you ate? Ferrero Rocher.

How is your hair done right now? Down and messy.

What do you want? Peace of mind, motivation, inspiration, a breakthrough, a passion, renewed sense of hope. Shall I go on?

How much money did you spend yesterday? £18.something for the Hozier album pre-order.

What brand is your underwear? La Senza and Victoria’s Secret.

What is something you have acquired with age? A healthy amount of independence, with more than a dash of uhm, familial... disconnect lol..

Do people interest you? Yes, when they have something new to offer.

Are you in love right now? I am.

Think of a random person, and give them a message here, no names: I suppose we have grown apart and will continue to grow apart. Seasons change and so do people. I have to accept it and move on. I have no space in me for sadness. Whatever gives me sadness, I have to ignore. In essence, I will let our friendship go. I think the time has come and you are due to go, and hopefully grow. It’s just not the same anymore and I refuse to be used or engaged with only when it’s convenient for you. I don’t believe it’s friendship when you approach me needing help, but ignore me when you’re fulfilled.

What do you check out first when you check someone out? Their eyes and smile, their energy.

When you looked in the mirror today, what was your first thought? I don’t look half bad.

Would you raise your children like your parents raised you? Not at all. I would involve myself more in their lives. I would push my children to do things that they could be passionate about (art, dance, music, activities, anything of interest, anything!). I would guide them with example, not with empty words. Most of all, I would be there and they would be comfortable to share their feelings with me.

What does your middle name mean? Month of flowers, and spring. Also just because I was born on it.

Will you be over 21 in 3 years? Yes, good Lord. I hate to think of it.

What is your favourite perfume/candle fragrance? I love perfume and I have so much that I love. But I like to think of Byredo’s Gypsy Water as the one perfume that I would never get tired of wearing. As for candle fragrance, it varies a lot. The last one I really loved was Autumn Glow by Yankee Candle.

Do you blush easily? When something I find embarrassing/I’m shy of happens without warning. Or when my boyfriend does something that makes me blush, he’s good at it.

Are you an artist/writer? I write poetry from time to time, I am not prolific enough or confident enough to call myself a writer.

Do you play an instrument? Guitar.

Do you like to dance? I am an awful dancer. I only dance in clubs when I’m drunk. Otherwise, I don’t even have the confidence to. When I was young, I was definitely interested in being a ballerina, but it was never something that actually materialised or my parents supported. Fast forward to 20 years later, I enjoy watching Sergei Polunin leaping instead of doing the leaping myself.

What trait do you feel you lack that you wish you possessed? Some sort of fiery, passionate, inane urge to create.

Do you find it difficult to stay invested in online relationships? It’s not difficult when you’re already in love. I’m currently in a long distance relationship but it was one that was built in real-life before it became online due to the distance that separated us. To me, whether near or far, if i’ve got feelings, I’ve got feelings. Staying committed and loyal comes naturally to me. If you’ve got me, you’ve got me for good. If you don’t, you really don’t.

Do you have any stickers on your laptop? I have a glossier sticker on my MacBook air because I got it from a purchase and I thought it was pretty.

Is there someone who seems to only reach out to you when they want something from you? Yes! Frustrates me so much. An old best friend from when I was like, 5. It seems this person only talks to me when they need my advice on something. It’s nice that they trust me and they value my opinion, but I don’t want to be anybody’s therapist. She only shows up when she needs me. It’s unfair so I’ve decided to let her go and let the friendship go quietly and without drama. If you’re not there for good and bad times, I don’t have the energy to talk to you.

What is something you can only understand if you’ve experienced it first hand? The feeling of losing someone important/beloved, and emptiness.

In terms of a wedding, put these things in order from what would be MOST important to be perfect, to LEAST important… Engagement ring, dress, hair, venue, ceremony, food, pictures, decorations, honeymoon. To me, the wedding itself is hugely unimportant and at times can be terribly impractical and a waste of resources. I would much rather spend it on a wonderful honeymoon. I value the relationship and marriage itself more than the wedding and materialistic things that come with it. Although, if money was not a problem, then it would be in this order: honeymoon, engagement ring (I would be wearing it for a long time!), pictures for memories, ceremony, decoration, venue, dress, hair, food (I feel like this would be the least of concerns, we eat food regardless anyway).

Is there a quote that’s helped you through hard times or really stuck with you? What is it? In the Iliad, when Odysseus was alone and on enemy territory: “Be strong, saith my heart; I am a soldier; I have seen worse sights than this.”

What’s something practical and useful “real world” things that should be taught in high school aside from the basics like English, math, science, etc.? Employment related things. Practical things like mortgages. Those kind of “real world” things that I realised upon graduating from university that I barely knew about.

What perfume of yours does your SO love on you? I’m pretty sure he used to love it the most when i would wear my White Musk (Body Shop) perfume which is actually probably the cheapest perfume I own. On the high end side, he likes Gypsy Water (Byredo) too!

Do you prefer your guy to wear cologne or not? If I like the cologne, why not. I’m a sucker for that one Tom Ford cologne that I like haha. If not, I usually like when my boyfriend uses his aftershave because I think it smells really good and I always end up kissing his face a lot when he puts it on. Later on, he admitted that he was only using it because he figured out that I loved it and in truth it actually stung his face to use it, oops.

What was the turning point that led you to decide for or against having children? I never really wanted children, but then again I have never fallen in love before. In fact, I actually usually dislike and get irritated by kids. But now that I’m with someone I love, I feel like it’s one of those things that I would love to do just because I would love to create a human being with the person I love the most. It would be the most precious thing I would ever be capable of doing. That’s really something. When we do decide to have one, I would make it right by him/her.

What would your reaction be if your SO wanted the opposite type of wedding than you did? A big and crucial part of successful relationships I think is compromise.

What kind if body type do you find attractive and unattractive (for your preferred sex)? I personally would feel attracted to someone who looks healthy. It’s not necessarily ripped or jacked or whatever, but just not unhealthily fat and unhealthily thin. All of it has to do with just staying healthy and balanced, good health.

How do you feel about strangers approaching you with compliments? It all depends on the approach. A compliment can be jarring if it’s delivered wrong i.e. in a creepy way. That would barely be a compliment to me, but more like a suggestive and creepy remark like cat calling. I wouldn’t find that flattering. A good, harmless compliment like “I love your dress!” is nice to hear. I don’t want a cat-caller whistling.

Do you consider it cheating if your SO goes to a Strip Club and then doesn’t tell you? I think so. What’s the purpose of going to Strip Clubs but not to look at and fantasise and even receive “services” from other women? I don't think it’s proper especially without consent of the other party, which I will never give. I’m possessive and jealous in my own ways, but I think this one is justified.

Would you be more offended if your man cheated on you with a guy or a girl? Regardless, I would be highly offended and betrayed. Both would be on another level which I would rather not speak about.

#survey #interesting questions finally #sorry to the creators I tend to just collect surveys from other posts and then kind of tie them all together and discard questions

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jonathanleesink · 6 years

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Cliff Jumping

Originally posted on February 2, 2018

Four months ago…just a week after my 41st birthday, my life-path made an immediate stop at a steep cliff. The kind of cliff that takes your breath away because of just how high it is. On the other side of the cliff was someone I didn’t recognize, but they clearly needed some help. Do I turn around, walk away, and let someone else help this stranger? Do I ask him if he has any family or friends that can help him on the other side of the cliff? Or do I evaluate the risks of getting over the gap and get to helping this person immediately? I know I have the athletic ability to jump this gap. I decide I must jump to the other side to help this person. There is honestly no reason I shouldn’t help. I backup to allow plenty of space to get up to speed, I begin my run, and with 8 inches to spare I launch myself in the sky. I hold my breadth while I feel my body rise and descend in the air. Suddenly my knees and hands take the impact on the hard loose gravel of the other side of the cliff. I lookup and the stranger offers his hand to help me up. No words were exchanged, but I could tell he was thankful for the risk I just took. I stood up, dusted my knees off and kindly asked the stranger what I could do to help him.

Last week I shared with you my plans of being an altruistic kidney donor. I had surgery on Monday to remove my left kidney. It was then cleaned up and put into someone who really needed a new kidney. The transplant team at the University of Kansas did this procedure four more times over two days. Five donors and five recipients in one hospital. I have been told history was made. It was the largest kidney chain in KU’s history, and maybe the state of Kansas and for Kansas City, too. It has been an exciting week, for sure.

Jamie took me to the hospital Monday morning at 8:00. We were admitted and sent to the correct waiting area. I found my mom waiting there for us. After not waiting too long they invite me back to the surgery prep area. I ditch my street clothes and put on the easy-access hospital gown and safety-grip socks the nurse gave me. Aside from answering a million questions I have already answered a million other times, the nurse was getting my IV put in, sticking EKG electrodes on me, and asking lots of other questions about my tattoos. (Side Note: most of my caregivers were fascinated by my tattoos and wanted to know all about them.) The anesthesiologists came in to talk about the general anesthesia they will use to put me under prior and during the surgery, and also to administer nerve blocks prior to surgery. Nerve blocks are localized numbing shots they shoot in my abdomen to try to ease the pain of the incisions. They had Jamie and my mom come say their goodbyes, and I was being wheeled back to surgery.

As I am rolled into the operating room I remember two things specifically. One, the room was incredibly bright. I suppose the surgeons will need to be able to see everything in good detail. And two, there was a guy in scrubs with an expensive video camera. I suddenly remembered that I agreed to be filmed and interviewed before, during, and after surgery. I hope he was on my good side, because seeing the cameraman was the last thing I remember before everything went dark.

My memories in the recovery room are kind of foggy, so I cannot guarantee any of it as factual. Jamie has reminded me of this specific conversation taking place in the recovery room.

Jamie: How are you feeling?

Jon: I don’t know

Jamie: I have some good news

Jon: You’re pregnant?

Jamie: No, that’s impossible

Jon: Oh, okay

Jamie: I’ll remind you of this conversation when you are more alert

I remember hearing my mom’s voice, but I couldn’t see her which confused me. I think she was sitting down behind someone. I was very thirsty and had a dry mouth. They gave me a tiny sponge on a stick dipped in water. It was the least rewarding thing to ever touch my lips. If you’ve never sucked water from a sponge, it does not get my thirst-quenching recommendation. I was in quite a bit of pain while in the recovery room. The nurse had to remind me numerous times that I have a push-button pain relief hooked-up to my IV. I could push the button whenever it was lit up with a green light, which was about every ten minutes. I was the only one who could push the green button. The doctors, nurses, and my family members could only remind me to push it. As cool as this button was, they removed it from me the next morning.

Finally, the people taking care of me in the recovery room thought I could go up to my room. They called someone to push my bed up to the sixth floor. If there was a non-perfect experience found in my journey at KU, my transportation from the recovery room to my permanent room would be it. The guy in charge of pushing my bed looked a little like Martin Short’s rendition of Jack Frost in Santa Clause 3 (Side note: my kids and I love this movie.) Mr. Frost was not very friendly. Maybe he was just having a bad day. He ran the bed into a couple of walls and elevator doors, which isn’t enjoyable when you have four new abdomen incisions and a freshly harvested internal organ. When we get to my new home on the sixth floor there are 8-10 nurses awaiting my arrival. Frost disapprovingly tells me, “You must be somebody important, I’ve never seen anyone get this many people to move them from one bed to another.” The great nurses and Frost get me moved to my new bed and start getting me hooked up to all my stuff. Time for rest and recovery.

In an effort to not put my readers to sleep I am going to condense the content of my hospital stay, and highlight the most important parts. I think the best way of doing this is by thanking the people who took care of me, or had a part in my living donor journey.

Family & Friends - Jamie (my lovely wife) has supported this journey from the start. She had some concerns, but I think educating herself about the concerns helped her ease them. She was my main support while in the hospital. She handled a juggling act of being there for me, but also coordinating a ten and a four year old’s schedule, plus she’s on an active job hunt and the president of the PTA. She certainly has her hands full. Thanks to modern technology she was able to do a lot of it while I was napping in a bed. Thank you, Jamie. My kids have been great. They understand that their dad has to take it easy for a few weeks. They have been so sweet to me. As they continue to get older in life I’ll be able to talk to them about this experience so they can develop an appreciation of what I did and why I did it. My mom and mother-in-law have helped with watching our kids and transporting them when Jamie couldn’t. Plus, that means the kids get extra time with the grandmas, which always means more sugar!

Once I went public about my decision to donate a kidney via my last blog post, the support has been outstanding. I have received countless messages from people supporting me and my family. Every single message has been special to me. I thank you all for uplifting me at this critical moment in my life. Thank you for the cards, flowers, gifts, and the wonderful meals that people have volunteered to bring my family. I also want to give a special shout-out to my Benninghoven family. They have supported me and my family in countless ways. Thank you for everything!

Tony and Christyn Zins - If you read my last post, you learned this all started from my reading of a Facebook post from one of Jamie’s co-workers. That co-worker is Christyn Zins. Christyn’s husband, Tony, was my initial intended recipient. He is the reason I originally went to get tested. Tony and I weren’t a match, and he went on to have surgery on January 2nd of this year with a perfect match donor from his longtime friend, Craig. Christyn has been a wonderful support system to Jamie. She’s answered questions, provided a care package while we were in the hospital, and visited us twice while we were there. Christyn also gave me a beautiful blanket that she quilted this past month with help from Tony, her mother-in-law, and her two sisters-in-law. It was extremely kind and generous. Even though I didn’t donate to Tony and he wasn’t involved in the kidney chain, I still feel that special connection to him and Christyn. I don’t know my recipient, and there’s a chance I might never know them. Tony is the closest thing I have. He gives me a face to visually use when I think of who has my kidney. I am grateful to Tony and Christyn, and also to their families. I have heard that their families ask about me, so it’s comforting to know they’re thinking of me.

KU Medical Professionals - From the first moment I called KU inquiring about living donation I have been treated with kindness and respect. My primary point person through this whole process has been Melissa Fowler, the living donor nurse coordinator. Melissa loves kidneys, and she makes everyone who talks to her love kidneys too. She has a real passion about her job, which makes her a valuable asset to the transplant center. During the months that it took to coordinate this chain I emailed her dozens of times with random concerns or questions. Every time I received a polite and prompt answer from Melissa. She is hands down the very best at what she does.

Dr. Ilahe is the nephrologist (kidney doctor) and the head of the living donor program at KU. Dr. Ilahe has that same passion for kidneys that I found Melissa having. Every time I saw Dr. Ilahe she gave me a hug. She has always been so thankful for what I volunteered to do. I believe she was one of the key figures in putting this 10-person kidney chain together. So, I’d like to congratulate her on this accomplishment.

Dr. Kumer was the doctor who actually performed the surgery on me. Dr. Kumer is the in-house ace on removing kidneys. When I met with him weeks before surgery he told me that I am the only one in the hospital who is having a surgery that they don’t need. While this is true, for this week it was me and four others. Dr. Kumer carefully cut me open, detached my kidney, put his hand into my abdomen and personally removed my left kidney, and then sealed me back up. And then he did it to four other people.

There were a lot of other people I worked with on the transplant team. Samantha and Jaime were great to me. I didn’t have a chance to work extensively with either one, but the interaction I did have with them was pleasant. The lab technicians always had a fun attitude everytime I went to give blood. Honestly, there wasn’t a single person through this process that I had a bad experience with. This department has kind, professional, and always thankful.

Finally the nurses that took care of me post-surgery were awesome. The level of care I received on the sixth floor was nothing like I had seen before. I had the same day-shift nurse two consecutive days, and the same night-shift nurse two consecutive nights. Hannah and Alec. They brought nursing to a whole new level. They were young, fun, and knew their stuff. Nurse Hannah made a personal connection with Jamie and my kids. It’s comforting to have a trusting relationship with your caregivers when you are in such a vulnerable state. The professionals who took care of me while recovering on the sixth floor were outstanding.

I was released from the hospital on Thursday afternoon. I have spent most of my time in my bed since I got home. Jamie and the kids are all helping out, which has been nice. We have meals being made and delivered by several friends for the next two weeks. My sleep schedule is totally off. I go to bed around 9:00, but wake-up really early, and then have one to two naps during the day. I’ve always been a big water drinker. I’ve learned I need to keep that up, plus a little more now. I also cannot take NSAIDs (non-steroidal anti-inflammatory drugs) ever again. NSAIDs are commonly known as ibuprofen, aspirin, and naproxen. This is probably the biggest long-term adjustment I’ll need to make. Tylenol is my pain reliever of choice now…forever. I should be back to normal in a few weeks. My remaining kidney will adjust to do the work of two kidneys. I’ll need to continue living a healthy lifestyle and stay away from any high-risk diets that could cause diabetes or high-blood pressure. The last two years I have really focused on healthy living. If I continue doing what I’ve been doing, the doctors have no reason to believe I wouldn’t live a long normal healthy life.

I have my first follow-up appointment on Thursday morning with Dr. Kumer. I am off work for several weeks to allow myself plenty of time to heal. I plan to write, read, play guitar, enjoy time with my family, and just be thankful for life and make the best of living.

About two weeks prior to surgery I had to come into the transplant center for some final pre-op stuff to do. I was also interviewed by KU’s media team. They were beginning a project to try to interview as many people involved in the donation chain as they could, and kind of follow everyone through the process. Fast-forward to the Wednesday after surgery I am informed that KU is hosting a press conference and issuing a press release about the donation chain. A few hours later I am getting texts that people saw me on the six o’clock news. Oh, and I am getting links sent to me of articles on local news websites and YouTube. What?!? This was totally unexpected. I didn’t think anything was going to hit the media until the interviews were done after the surgeries. Links are below for your viewing pleasure.

YouTube - produced by KU’s media team

KU Press Conference

KU Press Release

KCTV5

Fox4

This isn’t the direction I saw my life going when I was celebrating my 41st birthday. I didn’t see that cliff approaching either, it came out of nowhere. I can’t say that I would have always chosen to jump to the other side to help the stranger. But times are changing, and I have changed. Life is not about me, it never has been. I found that life is about leveraging your talents, your resources, and your heart to make a positive impact on someone else, and being brave enough to do something about it. You don’t have to jump over a cliff or give a kidney. We can make positive impacts daily, heck we can mindfully always be making them. Forget the past and don’t worry about the future. Be in the moment, and demonstrate compassion for all.

This is living.

This is purpose.

#kidneydonor #livingdonor #kidneytransplant #kansascity #kumc #organdonor

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oceansandroses · 7 years

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Paris

So Im gonna write a basic travel thoughts page per place I went starting from Paris. I’d try to recall how lapland was too in hopefully future entries but so here goes!

Paris.

The city of love and romance.

But also sadly, the city of pee.

No city smelt as bad as Paris did, each train, metro, bus and even at the Sacré-Cœur Basilique, with that amazing view, the smell of pee nvr left. Okay, I gotta try to start being more positive about things and stop looking at things from a negative point of view. But I really felt I had to get that point out.

Great amazing things about Paris: the architecture stole my heart, it just enveloped my entire being. Everything, every place and every building or house was just so unique, tasteful and just a wonder to me. Each had their own flavor, taste and vibe. Whether was it a nice, quiet restaurant with people just sitting to people watch and chill with the oh-so-wonderful weather (it was a perpetual 18 degrees there, probably just 10 in the evenings) my down jacket was rather excessive but I guess it was alright, there were plenty of tourists in Paris that were cold even in that ‘warmth’-funny how Sweden changed me so much, to tolerate the cold. So the buildings were just so beautiful, I remember taking the train out of the airport and looking out of the window only to see many landed houses with different and varying numbers of windows. differently colored and different types of bricks or materials used in its assembly. I was sold.

The weather as mentioned was great, warm and sunny, a nice warm but cooling breeze which Ale and I were really grateful for. Oh and Asian food!! On our first day there, besides having to skip going to the outlet stores because we didnt have much time to get from our airbnb to the outlets since we got pretty lost without internet (note to self to always get internet that works internationally) so we went to explore the city. Day 1 was lunch at 2/3+ before going off to see the Sacré-Cœur. The climb was alright but what made me weep tears of joy was my fav carousel right at the bottom of the basilique. The vibes of the place overall was really nice and pleasant. There were many people chilling, drinking a bottle of wine or beer or just chatting on the grass patch on the climb up the stairs to the church. Tourists were everywhere as with every tourist attraction but somehow the place didnt feel overrated. it wasnt swarmed with tourists and there was a unique and magical vibe to it. The street artists who were all around trying to earn their daily bread through caricature sketches, the nice restaurants that sold mussels and oysters in buckets at 14 euros (I was really so tempted). But there ale warned me about people who might pickpocket us, there were people who held different colored strings and she said they would hold the string out to us, the moment anyone touched it, they would ask you to pay them money or pickpocket us etc. It was kind scary but we hurried along. Oh, right at the top there was also a choo-choo train! it was pretty cool

Ale and I also bought 12 postcards at 2 euros yay! Next was the Arc de Triomphe, we managed to snap a few pictures but due to no reduced admission rates for us and to go up was 12 euros, I was pretty hesitant. Sharm did recommend us to go up but Ale said the weather was pretty cloudy and we prob could try tmr so we gave it a miss. From the Arc, we saw the Eiffel so both of us decided ourselves that it was quite near so we walked towards it. It was actually quite a walk but it felt kinda fun since we were ‘chasing the tower’ lol, always finding it amongst the buildings and its spotlight that shines throughout. The nightview of the Eiffel was really nice but there was not much magic vibes to it, maybe bcos it felt a lil overhyped. After which we got a little lost, took the wrong train from the wrong side and hopped on the dirtiest train i’ve ever been. The seats were fabric but they were so black and dirty. The red cushion seats were all blackish and they looked kinda mouldy. Much #grossness

Anyways Ale always having a great directional sense brought us back to the right path after one wrong stop, and we met Sharm at Quatre Septembre to go hunt for some Ramen that people recommended her. It was a chinese-ran restaurant that sold jap food. The gyozas were good but the ramen pretty much tasted like yellow noodles in a chinese broth. The cha siew was good thou i must admit. After that we had Grom gelato (only bcos I said it was a good brand that Robz & I tried in Italy) before sharing a jar of 50cl of white wine. Ale taught me a bit of how to drink the wine while we sat under a heater in one of the most popular and happening streets of Paris. Oh another thing thou, Deliveroo exists in Paris and the delivery guys ride bicycles! So i guess it feels weird that with SG being a much smaller place, rarely do you see people in bikes as in bicycles but rather its just bikes and cars. #thatswhyCOEhighlor the green olives they served there was really nice thou, the black ones tasted like they were soaked in water or just oil. The olive oil in the black ones were barely visible.

it was a great chill hangout before we left and rested up for the night. We started our next day early with the Lourve tour which we paid 24 euros for but ended up feeling very disappointed and cheated since he just shared some short story about how this Lourve came about (from a small tower and a wall elsewhere) to this-he hates the pyramid design so obv not much talk was given about this pyramid before leaving us to walk to the entrance and enter it ourselves. #sobz #byemoney

Inside the Lourve thou, it was a brand new story. We started off with the French sculptures and boy was it beautiful. Each sculpture felt like there was a life to it, its own story and feelings. Its lines were so beautiful, intricate and just so perfect in their own way. There were many students or people just chilling there and drawing life sketches of the sculptures. After that we kept getting lost but we saw the Napolean collection, the crazy Chandeliers around, the furniture before we attempted to see the French paintings. But bcos we kept getting lost, we ended up looking at the Egyptian collection. Much thanks to Ale for being alright to go to the Egyptian part of the museum with me. After the Lourve bcos there was free wifi, we decided to go hunt for bubble tea. We got lost and spent 1.5 hours around town before finding our Chatime! we had a crepe outside the Lourve too after getting lost half way and walking past it for like about the 3rd time.

After Chatime, we went to primark to shop for a bit. The collection was rather big but okay ish like no feels to splurge on anything. We went to Bershka too before we rushed to the nearest post office to mail our postcards. The mail lady didnt speak a word of english and boy was she inefficient. She had to flip thru her stack of stamps thrice and recount sets of 5 stamps before letting us pay and all. 10 stamps were pretty pricey and costed me 15.8 euros but oh wells. crap I just realized I forgot to write daddy a happy birthday post card:( but wait its in April okay, ive got time. phew.

It was a mad rush back home and we had to pass thru a black zone, there were so many blacks and police there, it felt like the entire atmosphere was really tense. The moment anybody made a mistake, the police were right there ready to arrest. We also saw some blacks making a living with a supermarket trolley as a bbq pit to cook kebab meats which I felt was pretty innovative and cool. I also love the buses here, uncles here stop when they see people running for the bus which doesnt really happen alot in SG. sigh. SG buses do come more frequently thou, but still that doesnt make up for bad behavior.

After dropping our things, we took a train to the concert. Broods was the opening act before Tove Lo and i didnt do much research on her so I nvr knew Tove Lo was so sexualized. Every song she was shaking and grinding her hips to it and she eventually flashed her tits at the audience too. I bought an autographed CD from her but it was weird bcos while heading back Ale was sharing with me about how Tove Lo was being pretty illuminati and Satanic and that Beyonce was the head of the illuminati. I was very thankful for her religious sharig althoug I have to admit after hearing all that i was kinda scared.

We ended the night cooking our only ‘meal’ of instant noodles before resting and heading to the airport by uber the next day. Thank god for uber for getting to our airbnb and to the airport. the public transport train ticket was far too ridiculous-10 euros for a single trip to the airport and we didnt even stay that far. Uber was just 11 euros per person-.-

Also pretty disappointed with the Paris duty free airport since the collection was so small, I couldnt get mommy’s and huijun’s clinique products. Ale and I each bought a crossaint there thou! It was really yummy

okay done for Paris its 1.45 in the morning here in LKP so im hungry and sleepy and tired and upset so i shld try to get some rest

Ciao

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viralhottopics · 7 years

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How I Survived Cutting Out Dairy For A Full Week

Quitting dairy was the very last item on my Find Out Whats Causing My Chronic Congestion to-do list. Ive been struggling with this issue since I moved to Tampa five months ago, and I am pretty sure its related to allergies, but I wanted to exhaust every possible scenario before opting for an ENT specialist. So far I have tried: prescription allergy meds, saline sprays, a neti pot, hypoallergenic pillows, a humidifier, an essential oil diffuser, nasal sprays, and Breathe-Right strips. I even had the maintenance team at my apartment community do a mold inspection. Though, since these apartments were built in 2014, I was pretty certain they wouldnt find anything. They didnt.

So, dairy. Dairy is on the list of things to eliminate if you struggle with congestion. Ive always had a certain sensitivity to milk, but its never been something that has affected my life so much that I needed to eliminate it. I just need to be close to a bathroom after drinking a Frappuccino, is what Im saying. But, I figured, lets try eliminating dairy! Who knows maybe my sensitivity morphed into a full-blown allergy and just randomly coincided with my move. Stranger things have happened, right?

Last week, I eliminated dairy from my life and it led to some really interesting epiphanies on my end. First of all, I never realized how much dairy I consume on a daily basis. I drink a cup of coffee with full-fat creamer most mornings. I like pizza and pizza rolls and cheddar-and-bacon potato skins and cereal with cows milk and sub sandwiches with mayo and butter on my veggies. I like cheese string cheese, feta cheese, mozzarella cheese, all of the cheese. And chocolate. Oh, do I love chocolate. Milk chocolate, not dark chocolate. I love creamy, delicious, soothing milk chocolate.

My diet? Was going to have to go through a drastic shift for this dairy-free experiment.

But I did it. I went a week without eating dairy. (Mostly, I had some oops-I-didnt-realize-this-contained-dairy-until-I-ate-it moments.) It was a good week and it was a bad week, and I want to start with what didnt go so well.

It was boring.

I derive a lot of enjoyment from food, and I love looking forward to a meal. I did not look forward to any of my meals during this experiment. What I ate was fine: Nutrigrain waffles with peanut butter, salads, clementines, chicken and rice, etc. But it was just food. It tasted good, but it didnt excite me. I want my food to excite me.

Dairy is in every good thing in this world.

Eating out was fairly impossible, which is why it only happened twice for me. I even had to turn down pizza and cake at my nephews birthday party, and I think I may have hurt my sister-in-laws feelings in the process. (Oof. Not intentional!) And dairy is in. I didnt realize this until I started taking a look at the ingredient list for many of my favorite foods. How does someone with a sweet tooth eat dairy-free? Riddle me this, Batman, I want to know.

I was so hungry the whole week.

This was probably the hardest part of this week. I washungry every single day. It makes sense, though: dairy has a lot of protein and in the process of eliminating dairy, I essentially eliminated a good chunk of protein. Rookie mistake.

The first few days were outrageously hard.

But arent they always?It was hard not to give up. I desperately wanted to in those first few days when I was so hungry. I knew I just needed to get over a hump, and it would be smooth sailing from there, but man, getting over that hump is so damn hard.

Okay, so now that Ive laid out the difficult parts of last week, lets dive into the positive aspects of my dairy-free experiment!

Ienjoy eating healthy

I know this contradicts my first point above, but hear me out. Eating healthy does not come naturally to me. I dont reach for fruits and veggies, lean meats and brown rice. I reach for the bad stuff and I eating the bad stuff. I do not naturally eating the good stuff, but when I do force myself to eat it, I realize I enjoy healthy foods and its tasty. Healthy food can taste good! (Rinse and repeat.)

I slept better and felt more energized than I have in a while

Sigh, this happens when I clean up my diet and start exercising more frequently. My sleep improves! I feel great! My energy levels are up! And yet Ive never been able to stick with eating healthy for the long-term. But this week lets just say I finally slept soundly, which leads into the next point.

My congestion (mostly) cleared up

!!!!! Okay, okay, I was hoping the congestion wouldnt clear up because I didnt want to actually have to consider eliminating dairy full-time.But my congestion really cleared up. Not completely, but enough to make a huge difference in my sleep and, to be dramatic, my life.

So, where do I go from here?

Essentially, eliminating dairy from my diet did exactly what I wanted it to do it helped to clear up my congestion. That said, I am going to see a doctor about my congestion. My congestion never fully went away, so I think its time to get a specialist involved.

Even still, I am truly interested in eating mostly dairy free. It was a hard week, I wont lie, but it also felt really good. I lost 3 lbs, which is a feat for me lately, and I was sleeping better. I want to aim for the 80/20 rule 80% of the time I eat dairy free with 20% allowed for indulgences. Pizza with friends, dessert at book club, things like that.

My plan for the week after my dairy-free experiment was to begin reintroducing different dairy products into my diet to test how my body reacted to them. And Ive been doing that, and in the process, my congestion has come back with a vengeance. It is quite frustrating, but it just shows me that my body is now reacting differently to dairy than it has in the past. Thats life, right? Bodies are weird, complex organisms and we have to learn how to adapt to them.

Im really glad I experimented with eliminating dairy, and now Im excited to figure out how to lead a dairy-free existence. Ive already discovered vegan mayonnaise (Veganaise), which I find to be incredibly delicious. This weekend, Im going to try my hand at vegan baking (< something I never thought Id say.)

Also? Im really proud of myself for sticking with eating dairy-free, especially when it was intensely difficult, and not giving up. Thats something to be proud of, no matter what.