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rigmarolling · 4 years

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Five Things Abe Lincoln Did That Prove He Was A BAMF

I love Lincoln. You probably know this if you’ve listened to me talk for more than two seconds. I have a literal entire bookshelf filled with Lincoln stuff. I teared up in Great Moments With Mr. Lincoln at Disneyland. I cried so hard when I watched Lincoln (2012), that I almost started dry-heaving. I was Lincoln (sort of) for Halloween.

Is it a problem? No. It isn’t a problem, Mom. Because Lincoln was a 100% USDA-certified badass.

Don’t believe me? Here are ten things Abe did to prove he was absolutely a BAMF.

1. That time he jumped out a window to prevent a vote.

In 1840, the Illinois legislature was voting on whether or not to fund the state bank. Lincoln was a member of the Whig party, which did not require members to wear wigs, contrary to what the name suggests, but which did support saving the state bank. The opposing party, the Democrats (different political beliefs from modern-day democrats, do NOT come at me, Reddit dudebros) wanted to shut the State bank down.

It all came down to a vote...and it looked like the anti-state bank democrats were going to win. Abraham Lincoln, then a 31-year-old legislator who looked like the pioneer version of a Tim Burton character, was getting nervous.

Above: Jack Skellington, 1840.

“Shit,” he thought, probably, “We Whigs are screwed if we lose this vote. And we don’t even get to wear wigs.”

The bank-hating democrats scheduled a vote to adjourn the session, which would effectively be the nail in the state bank’s coffin. Abe was panicking. He was the de facto leader of the Whigs; he had to do something.

“Prove your mettle, boy,” he probably thought to himself in a folksy, backwoods kinda way. “Show ‘em you ain’t gonna give up.”

So Abe did what any self-respecting legislator would do when stuck between a rock and a hard place:

He jumped out the window of the legislature to stop the vote.

To be fair, Lincoln wasn’t the only one to opt for a morning act of defenestration: a bunch of the other Whigs joined in, too. The rationale was, essentially, this:

Which is peak Internet comedy, but unfortunately, it was 1840 and the Internet didn’t exist yet, so nobody appreciated the gesture and the democrats eventually wound up closing the bank, anyway.

But at least Abe showed the entire state that he appreciated Looney Tunes-esque escape tactics.

2. That time he roasted a guy during a debate with good-old self-deprecating humor.

You ever rely on self-deprecating humor to beat people to the “yes, I KNOW I am offensive” punch?

So did our 16th president, Abraham Nicole Lincoln.

(Not his real middle name.)

When Lincoln was campaigning, his biggest rival was Stephen Douglas, the Democratic contender who was nicknamed “the little giant” because he was short but a heavy hitter in politics, and also because he looks like the kind of guy that just wouldn’t shut up at parties:

Above: “Actually, I’m not racist, BUT--”

In 1858, Lincoln and Douglas held a series of seven famous political debates called, brilliantly, The Lincoln-Douglas Debates, coming to you LIVE at Rockefeller Center, with performances by the Rockettes, Anna and Elsa on Ice, AND with special guest, Seal!

These debates were THE go-to political show of the season. If you were super into who would be elected to the Illinois Senate in the mid-19th century, then holy shit, you have got to watch these two men go at each other, man, it’s like watching a tree and an angry little dog slap each other across the stage.

During the debates, Lincoln quickly became famous for his one-liners, and also because no one had ever seen a talking tree in a suit before.

In one of the debates, Douglas accused Lincoln of being two-faced. Without missing a beat, Lincoln, who had been mocked his entire life for his ungainly, scarecrow-like appearance in the same way that I just mocked him a few sentences ago, whoops...

ANYWAY.

Lincoln turned to Douglas and went, “Honestly, if I were two-faced, would I be showing you this one?”

And then the audience did this:

And then Lincoln was like:

Check. Mate.

3. That time he was so strong and such a good wrestler that nobody messed with him.

When I say “wrestler,” what do you think of?

Is it this?

Maybe this?

What about this?

Huh? What’s that you say? “What the hell is...is that Lincoln? What...what the hell is Lincoln doing in a list of wrestlers?

“Um,” I answer, “Being a wrestler.”

Because Abraham Lincoln, 6′ 4″ and all of 150-something pounds, was, in fact, an incredibly talented wrestler.

So talented, in fact, that when it came to wrestling matches, he went undefeated for most of his life.

See, Lincoln grew up in the middle of butt crack-nowhere, out in the sticks of the American frontier. Ain’t no room for sissies out on the frontier. This here’s hard-scrabble country, see, rough-livin’; you gotta spit to live; you gotta live to spit; Neosporin? I think you mean weak-ass bitch cream.

So how did rootin’ tootin’ frontier folk blow off steam? Well, when they weren’t dying of dysentery or tuberculosis or minor infections that could today be cured by steady application of Neosporin, they were wrasslin’. And when it came to the act of picking someone up and throwing them back down, nobody wrestled like 21-year-old Abraham Justine Lincoln.

(Not his real middle name.)

One look at the guy and people were like, “The hell? What’s this ancient Egyptian mummy doing in the ring?”

But the second he got going, everyone shut up. Because this guy was nuts. He was a berserker. He could defeat a guy three times his size in seconds. He could bench the Rock, probably, and not even break a sweat.

He was the nicest guy in town. But nobody--and I mean nobody--messed with Abraham Ashley Lincoln.

(Not his real middle name).

One time, Jack Armstrong, the local heavyweight champion who was the Big Bad in town and undefeated in the wrestling and “I’m a giant asshole who smashes my way through problems” arena, challenged Lincoln to a match.

“Uh oh,” everyone in the little town of New Salem, Illinois thought, “That’s it for ol’ Twig Legs Abe. He might be good, but there’s no way he can defeat Jack Armstrong. Nice knowing you, kid; it’s a shame, because you might have made a solid president.”

But Lincoln, who knew no fear and ate chains forged in the heart of a dwarven cavern for breakfast, was like, “Bring it on, bitch.”

Above: Playin’ with the boys.

Jack and Abe started sparring and Jack threw insult after insult Abe’s way. I don’t know exactly what Jack said, but it was probably the 19th century equivalent of, “You may have 2,300 Facebook friends but nobody cares about the pictures of your homemade Shake ‘N Bake chicken that you post, eggwad.”

Abe didn’t relent.

See, he was getting angry.

Really angry.

So angry, in fact, that in one fell swoop, he suddenly slammed big Jack Armstrong to the ground so hard that Armstrong passed out, cold.

Abe had won. Everyone stared at the panting, growling, 6′4″ pine tree man in reverent awe.

A fun epilogue to this story: after Jack Armstrong recovered from getting his ass handed to him by a guy who looked like an extra in a movie about the Amish, he and Abe remained steadfast buddies for the rest of their lives.

Jack just never ever insulted Abraham Jessica Lincoln again.

(Not his real middle name.)

4. The (many) times he went off into long, rambling stories during Cabinet meetings to illustrate a point.

You know how grandma and grandpa sometimes go off on tangents and you’re like, “okay, okay, get to the point.”

But grandma and grandpa don’t even respond and just keep talking about that one time in 1953 that Anne-Marie told George that no, she hadn’t gone to the corner store, why do you keep asking, George? And then I said to George, I said, George, you need to listen to Anne-Marie because she knows that the corner store is the only one in town that sells fresh-laid eggs and Butterick circle skirt patterns, but did he listen? Did he listen to me? No, he didn’t, so I went to---

You get it.

So did every single member of Lincoln’s cabinet. Because Lincoln was a consummate storyteller, for better or for worse.

(Sometimes for worse, depending on who you asked.)

Above: “One time, at band camp...”

Lincoln would interrupt important meetings about, you know, saving the Union and the soul of the country itself with anecdotes that started something like this:

Lincoln: You know, Sec. Stanton, that reminds me of a fur-trapper I knew back in Illinois--

Stanton: Great, except, Mr. President, everyone is dying--

Lincoln: Now this here fur trapper was the best fur trapper in the entire state. Not the entire country, mind you, on account of we didn’t really have a way of measuring fur-trapping skills nationwide--

Stanton: *neck turning purple* Mr. President--

Lincoln:--but definitely the best fur trapper in Illinois. Now one day, this fur trapper set out to do what he did best: shoot some raccoons, or maybe a bear, or a wolf if he was lucky, or a deer, or some moose, or a beaver, or a mongoose, or maybe a possum--

Stanton: OH MY GOD--

Lincoln:--or a cat, if times were desperate, but not a dog, never a dog, because this here fur trapper loved dogs; had six of ‘em himself, all hound dogs, loyal to a fault, see, because this here fur trapper--

Stanton: JUST STOP--

Lincoln: --this here fur trapper could be short-sighted. See, he set his sights one day on shooting the biggest bear in the mountains--and this bear, why, this here bear was a Goliath of a bear, the biggest bear anyone ever did see, the biggest bear in the state; not the biggest bear in the country, mind you, on account of we didn’t have a way of comparing bear sizes nationwide, but--

You get the gist.

Above: “So I’m sitting there, barbecue sauce on my tiddies--”

Eventually, Lincoln would get to the point of his story; in this example, for...um, example...maybe the moral was, “Don’t get so focused on one goal (shooting that big bear) that you loose sight of other objectives in the war (getting rid of the wolf pack killing all the sheep or whatever).”

I would like to explain to you why telling long, rambling grandpa stories was such a power move:

Abe Lincoln was the president.

So his whole Cabinet had to listen.

And Abe Lincoln knew it.

They had to listen to this backwoods guy go on and on about how that one time the local long boatsman fell into the river actually serves as a metaphor for Gen. McClellan’s inability to take control of the troops; or how the rabid raccoon that lived in the local blacksmith’s shop can serve as a metaphor for acting too hastily when trying to take down the South.

Or, like, whatever.

Above: “All here in favor of me performing the entirety of Les Mis starring me as everyone, raise your hands.”

Apparently, Lincoln was also the kind of storyteller who, if there was a funny punchline at the end, took forever to get to the punch line because he’d start laughing hysterically at his own joke, and while many people thought it was incredibly endearing, others were like, “Boy, I wonder what it would be like if I dumped this entire fucking bottle of ink over the president’s head to get him to shut the fuck up.”

Spoiler alert: Lincoln did not, in fact, shut the fuck up. He was determined to teach folks a lesson through the the power of storytelling and also to help break the tension of a legitimately horrible war with the power of laughter.

Monopolizing the conversation to prove a point with anecdotes about frontier living that no one can escape?

Power. Move.

5. Those times he let his kids run amok in the White House and thought it was hilarious.

Lincoln had a four kids, all boys, who moved into the White House after he was elected president.

And these boys were little terrors.

To be fair, a vast majority of boys are terrors. Kids are terrors. They are small harbingers of chaos and discord with little regard for their fellow humans, which means they fit right in in the White House EYYYY POLITICAL COMMENTARY.

But Lincoln’s kids, apparently, were especially out of control.

Above: “Alright, enough pussy-footin’ around, Pops, fork over the dough and no one gets a kick in the nuts.”

Lincoln adored his boys, partly because he was a good dad and partly because he’d already had one child die tragically, so understandably, he was like, “Life is short and antibiotics haven’t been invented yet so we’re all going to die from getting paper cuts, probably; I’m just gonna let my boys do whatever the hell they want.”

And he kind of...did.

Willie and Tad Lincoln, his two youngest, brought tons of pets into the White House. Dogs, cats, birds...when people objected, Lincoln just sort of shrugged. He, too, was a huge animal lover and didn’t really care if ponies were clomping around the Oval Office. “My White House, my rules, my indoor ponies.”

The two Lincoln boys would dress up in military uniforms and have fake military drills and stage fake (LOUD) battles all over the White House, including when Dad was in a Cabinet meeting.

What did Dad do, you ask?

Laugh his head off.

While his kids would burst into Cabinet meetings, crawl under the table and kick important Senators’ legs and feet, generally causing a grade-A ruckus, Abe would try and fail to stifle his laughter.

Which, you know. Objectively isn’t the best parenting, but for Pete’s sake, they were at war, can’t they have a little fun? Jesus, lighten up, folks, they’re kids.

The Lincoln boys particularly irritated Sec. of War Edwin Stanton, but to be fair, almost everything irritated Sec. of War Edwin Stanton.

Above: “I have never had fun once, ever, in my life.”

Once again, Lincoln’s rationale was, “Life is fragile, one of my children already died, the country is at war, and kids make me laugh, so if they want to punch Sec. Stanton in the balls under the table, who am I to stop them?”

Also, Lincoln was the president, so nobody thought it was appropriate to go, “Um, hey? Mr.--Mr. President? Maybe you could tell your sons to, you know...not crawl under the table and interrupt, um...important...war strategy meetings?”

ALSO, Lincoln once wrestled a man twice his size to the ground without batting an eyelash, so you go tell him to make his kids behave. I dare you.

#abraham lincoln #listory #american history #us history #u.s. history

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bohemian-napsodyy · 5 years

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I AM HERE TO HELP YOU PROCRASTINATE! HC, reader tries to convince Ahk to dress up for Halloween, but Ahk doesn't understand why he can't wear what he always wears??? (You had told him before that it looks like he's wearing a fancy dress costume 24/7)

this is late reply from the blurb prompt i posted the other day, but I love this idea!!! I’m on it!!

you’d show up at the museum, armed and ready with your Pinterest folder full of all sorts of Halloween costume ideas for couples

you’re so excited not only to dress up but also like

this is your first Halloween together with Ahk and you honestly cannot wait to coordinate your costumes

but the moment you start showing Ahk ideas you’ve collected, he frowns

“Y/N, didn’t you say once that my outfit is so ancient that it could now be considered a… ‘costume’?”

your heart kinda… sinks

Ahk doesn’t look nearly as excited about all of this as you do

in fact if anything, he looks kind of mortified

you don’t think dressing up is his thing based on the Super Salty look on his face

his lips are drawn into a thin line and all

he’s just… :|

“Yeah… but i was hoping we could wear something together, to make it more fun, y’know?”

Ahk beams, and for a split second you’re like ‘YeS mY bOi GeTS iT’

“Ah, I see! I could help you make an outfit similar to mine, and we could be king and queen of Egypt, yes? That way I could keep my usual attire!”

….

……

……….so much for ‘YeS mY bOi GeTS iT’.

also you were really hoping Ahk would agree to your idea of going as Princess Buttercup and Westley from The Princess Bride

and you knew he definitely wouldn’t (there’s no way in hell that boy would agree to wearing a bandit mask or a fake mustache), which made you really sad

you stumble over your words like there’s no tomorrow as you try to politely explain to Ahk that his outfit, even though it looks like a costume to everyone else, is still his regular attire

and that Halloween was meant for changing your outfit to something really crazy

you show him photos of couples dressed as bacon and eggs, Jack Skellington and Sally, and even Bob Ross and a painting to name a few

Ahk just…. frowns

like totally frowns

his face went from :| to >:(

“…I know you mean well, my love, but I would rather fight Apophis with my bare hands than be caught dead wearing one of these… things.”

listen

you loved Ahk with your entire heart and soul but sometimes that boy could just be so

fucking

dense

aND STUBBORN!!!!

“Ahk, the entire point of Halloween is dressing up as something you’re not! I mean, Teddy’s going as a spaceman, Sacagawea is going as Wonder Woman, and I think Larry was talking about dressing Dexter up as a banana or something”

Ahk puts his foot down on the banana thing

he is most Certainly Not dressing up as a banana

“AHK I NEVER SAID YOU HAD TO DRESS UP AS A BANANA, JESUS CHRIST”

on the verge of giving up, you get one final idea

but you have to break it to Ahk sneakily because you know he’ll disagree otherwise

so you slowly ask Ahk:

“Okay, answer me this – I know you’re Ahkmenrah, fourth king of the fourth king, a Pharaoh, and also my (extremely hot) boyfriend – but what are you not? What were you never considered to be when you lived in Egypt?”

Ahk frowns

he knows you have a plan but he can’t figure you out

“…I’m not… I guess I was never… a commoner?”

THATS IT

THAT GIVES YOU THE BEST SEGUE INTO YOUR IDEA

“Ahk, I’ll let you get away with going as yourself for Larry’s Halloween party if you don’t agree, but first, what do you think of this?”

you show him your idea, and surprisingly

he loves it

because it’s still close for comfort for him – no Bob Ross or banana costumes involved

“Yes, I like that. That’s like what I’m wearing, but more comfortable. I’ll do that!”

SCORE

The two of you show up the following week to Larry’s party, Ahk dressed as Aladdin and you dressed as Abu

Larry was in hysterics – he couldn’t get over Ahk’s fez hat, as well as the fact that you weren’t dressed as Jasmine, but rather Aladdin’s monkey sidekick

but the best part was seeing how comfortable Ahk finally was

he was actually having a good time, admiring everyone’s costumes while still feeling like himself

he was having FUN AND HE WAS DRESSED UP

you felt as if you had pulled off the impossible or something

and it was truly a Halloween to remember – your monkey onesie, Ahk’s fez hat and purple vest (which he looked really hot in surprisingly) and all

#ask #little blurbs #princezzoftheuniverse #natm #night at the museum #night at the museum headcanon #ahkmenrah #ahkmenrah x reader #ahkmenrah imagine #ahkmenrah headcanon #rami malek #rami malek imagine #rami malek headcanon #rami malek x reader

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elizabethrobertajones · 6 years

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14x08 watching notes

This episode is the Worst I had to lie to my mum when I came downstairs trembling and tear-stained to get a cup of tea to recover, and play it all off as cold symptoms, and now I feel complicit in some sort of deceit with the episode and like Meredith broke the fourth wall through sheer pain.

Good morning, I slept in until seven after they started digging up the road outside at 9pm at night, so I still kinda have a lingering headache from that, but I'm pretty sure Meredith is about to make good on the Dean n Jack murder pact or something else of that level of awfulness so... *deep breath*

YAY it is Lily!! I mean it was pretty obvious from the costuming because wow she's a distinct person but idk maybe some people thought it was her mom?

Anyway getting a recap just of how terribly Jack is doing and then also a reminder of Lily Sunder is just.. Good recap. *kisses fingers*

(*curls up in agony*)

In all the drama I never noticed Rowena being among those who yelled "Jack!" when he went down and to be honest she knew him five minutes and I'm crediting all that panic in her voice to his absolutely ridiculous powers of being the most adoptable creature in the cosmos. You take one look at him and you want to make sure his shoelaces are tied properly and he has a glass of milk.

Anyway he totally caught Rowena off her guard and made her express an Emotion(TM) that was not spite and a good chunk of that is new and improved Rowena of the last year or so, but also just... She bonded HARD :P

Ironically I left the spoon in my coffee in my haste to get up here and start watching so now I will drink it like that and possibly exit the episode also wearing an eye patch

I watched a second and tucked the largest, most comforting stuffed toy this family owns under my arm. Yes, not my personal stash of friends, the family heirloom squishy guy who has been with us through all the worst stuff D:

The framing is Sam sitting at Jack's bedside, Dad no.1 as season 13 firmly established for us, and the dad with the closest traditional relationship of father/son to Jack. Then Cas hovers nearby, struggling to be as close but still Dad no.2 with the ongoing and uncomplicated connection to Jack in the sense that both just sort of accept they're now father and son without any debate or internal wrangling, and that's always been Jack's in with the family and the way he inadvertently got Cas to vouch for him from beyond the grave when he said Castiel was his father and Sam immediately just flipped to Team Jack, not, of course, that he'd not been giving him a huge chance and trying to reach out to him already, but that was his "oh shit this is now my son because Cas is dead" moment.

Finally, Dean fills the foreground, face in shadow, the conflicted Dad no.3 who can't even face his dying son, taking it personally because this is literally the fourth smol child he's taken under his wing who he then lost, from Sam, Ben, Emma, a truly tragic collection of lost children. He resisted adopting Jack because he couldn't be a parent again, not after what Sam put him through as a parent, and yet Jack, the most adoptable boy in the cosmos, eventually wormed his way under Dean's skin too, and by the end of season 13 Dean was acting fatherly towards him and by this season Dean's been opening up the doors and letting Jack be his son. And. Whoops. As SOON as you took him on a hunt for one on one father son bonding time, look what happened.

And so Dean will lurk in the foreground, not looking at Jack, peering moodily into some dark empty box that metaphorically is his soul or his remaining ability to cope with losing children or some such nonsense. The pandora's box of parenthood. He's full on dark romantic hero brooding.

OH NO IT IS A RECORD PLAYER NOT A BOX

I need our family to retroactively adopt a larger, squishier friend to hug in this trying time

Having archived every single one of my watching notes ever between last episode and this episode, I'm more than usually pained by Dean's "not meant to be crap" line because he's been resisting it the entire frikkin time, when Sam kept, even long long long before they knew their real destinies, musing if HIS own personal angst was meant to be and Dean was like don't give me that destiny crap. I swear there's lines about this back in season 2 or 3 when Sam is musing on his powers and the grim lot fate had dealt them. This is a callback line to Dean dealing with his own sense of unravelling control and pure panic about what was happening to Sam, back when that was a thing in the very early seasons and he was having to face the kid he raised from a baby amongst all that tragedy now recklessly declaring all sorts of horrific things about not being able to resist his destiny. Oh, also, in season 2, while under a murder pact from John about killing him if he couldn't save him.

Honestly, it's barely a relationship worth mentioning if you don't have a murder pact going with Dean. Ben is literally the only one of all 4 children AND CLAIRE who hasn't had one with Dean.

If this episode involves Dean bringing any of his records in to play for Jack I'm gonna go out in my pyjamas and take a long walk to the sea and then keep walking once I reach it

Dean you did not walk nearly far enough for Jack to not hear you thump the wall outside his room

PS: totally figured the promo scene was an early emotional beat between Dean and Cas which utterly delights me because the earlier that came in the episode the better as it meant less and less chance it was about anything other than Dean and Cas having an intense relationship over this whole thing.

Jack is the absolute worst about dying. He's this saintly angelic little boy from like, no later than 1900s literature, who exists only to bravely suffer and love with his whole heart. He's snatched out of an era when kids needed morality tales about how to die politely of consumption with the least amount of fuss for their parents and 300 siblings.

How dare you fucking die selflessly. Humanity is at its Bithc This Isn't Fair stage. Throw a fit. Go walk into the sea out of protest.

Okay you're in Kansas I understand how that is an unrelastic option and I grew up spoiled by the immediate location of the sea should I ever need to walk into it.

This show has never made me cry before the title card before.

This is the Pippin and Gandalf scene from Return of the King with the whole Into the West thing that they wrote for a sick fan who died before the movie came out and literally Annie Lennox sings what would be Jack's THEME for this scene.

Sam is horrified that Jack didn't even live long enough for a LotR marathon to explain the reference that's making him bawl.

I LOVE that this scene with Dean n Cas is just about Dean being a wuss about watching his son die because that's so much worse than Jack having asked for a mercy kill or anything. And this all before the title card. Cas tearing Dean a new one about going in and watching your son die smiling beautifully like a little cherub who can't wait to find out what happens next.

Jack's gonna be dead before the title card, isn't he?

Oof.

Hey, Dean, one more reason to hate yourself :) :) :)

Also robbed Cas of watching him go.

But I think tbh they could have done this if Dean wasn't being a coward about watching Jack die that they would leave Sam to sit at this side in the last moment.

Ugh, my eyes are leaking too much to type. What the hell is all this wet stuff coming out of them.

I've never seen a TFW shot where Sam was the shortest but he is slumped over like someone cut all his strings.

"Your brother's in pain" AND WE'RE NOT? YOU'RE NOT? CAS ISN'T?

Dean stopping Cas going after Sam with just a catch of his shoulder... Ugh. The two of them are still connected through all this in a way where Cas and Dean are connected whether Dean's in the most obvious pain or Sam is.

Cas, pls be selfish and in the most obvious pain at some point this episode.

Oh please don't make me watch Dean telling his mom that Jack died

please

I beg you

They put a photo of Kelly next to Jack's bed D: Or has he always had that?

That's not even the photo that Cas had pinned to his board in 12x10 and yes I went and checked, I'm leaking tears too much to watch because Cas is standing over him and this is going to be the worst while Dean's answerphone message lays over the top.

I'm so not here to watch TFW mourn their son.

They had him for like a WEEK this SUCKS.

ALso I said "please don't make me watch" so they cut away to Cas mourning silently while Dean talks to Mary's answerphone because Meredith is an evil fairy who whimsically takes your wishes and twists them into even worse options.

*takes my glasses off and throws them aside angrily when Sam emerges carrying a duffel over his shoulder and wearing the fucking orange jacket he first met Jack in*

God, I don't even wear them for focus, just lack of headaches. Why was I bothering.

7x10 and this episode are probably going to be unholy companions in this show's canon

"She's come down with acute Tear Duct Blockage. The only option is head amputation or we make her cry, NOW" "Don't worry, I have just the thing."

Dean this answerphone message huuuurts

Also explains the Buckleming issue of not calling Mary, to just say, yeah, it escalated, rapidly.

Your brother is storming off and Cas is broken.

If I have to see Cas see a set of PB&J crusts and a glass of milk identical to what Dean saw in 9x10 I'm - well, I'm still here instead of walking off into the sea so my threats are starting to look a bit performative. BUT I'M THINKING IT.

Cas watches Sam go, while Dean is being dwarfed by the bunker and obfuscated by its maze of corridors.

*presses my hands over my eyeballs* STOP. STOP IT. GOD. You're not even sobbing or anything you're just lEAKING. This is so annoying! I'm gonna dehydrate and they'll find a shrivelled skellington here and I'll go with just a few quiet sniffs and a dumb smile on my face like fucking Jack did.

Now I'm just distraught about the first time ever in canon we see Cas drive, it's in his dumb blue car and Dean's broken and not up for driving even if Sam presumably hadn't stolen the car for his errand/driving until he finds the sea and walking off into it mission. All my myriad fantasies about Cas behind the wheel of the impala and Dean grinning at him like yeah that's my baby (which one is he talking about?), and nope we're getting Cas's little partymobile and Dean's mute expression of grief.

NEVER MIND THEY SHOWED ME SAM CURLED UP ON THE GROUND USING THE IMPALA AS A BELOVED FAMILY HEIRLOOM TO HUG AND I SOBBED OUT LOUD FUCK YOU MEREDITH FUCK YOU

I need the tissues why were they not here in preparation for this episode

I need to avoid my mum all day on the ground of spoilers because my face is a walking spoiler

"TELL ME YOU DIDN'T MAKE A DEAL" "wha- no, I'm trying to make a pyre"

Making a pyre doesn't usually involve curling up on the floor.

Cas is getting an accidental glimpse of 13x01's emotional landscape, not that anyone will tell him this was what it was like for Dean, that we now have Sam in the spot of. We're getting some mirror image missing moments, like we just saw Dean get the axe out but did see him begging God... in this one we see Sam go take it out on a tree.

Incidentally I re-read all of Terrible Coffee AU two days ago for Reasons and the scene where Sam is whaling on a tree while screaming into the sky is pretty much this. Which is fucking hilarious that 2 years ago I decided Sam taking out his feelings on the local trees was a Thing when he was depressed.

(I wrote that scene the day Eileen was murdered on the show and honestly at the time he was mostly just angry on canon!Sam's behalf and I figured I'd come up with plot reasons later.)

Oh, they weren't driving the party!mobile, they were driving something else. I'm not even gonna ask where they get these vehicles

Yeah I'm harping on Dabb vs cars because Cas is talking about Jack's story ending like this and certainty of death for angels and this is just... the worst.

the story line - Cas deciding how their stories go. Dean resisting the how it's supposed to be of Jack's death. TFW want to take the narrative into their own hands. We KNOW in this world deaths are stored in notebooks, potential ways to pass that you skate past until one claims you. They're free to write their own stories but the ending is always pre-written for them... It's just a matter of which one. But Cas especially... Jack was supposed to bring paradise, and maybe the emotional landscape between season 12 and 14 is a gulf of difference in their openness and bonds, largely facilitated by Jack's presence in the narrative and relentless open love for everyone who was nice to him and even those who weren't in Dean's case. He breezed through their lives, manic pixie dream girl'd them to emotional health, and mayfly'd out. But that's THEIR stories. That's not JACK's story. That's not the epic destiny something as cosmically powerful as him was due, and the potential he was shown to have... It abruptly gets into the territory of Dany having her whole Stallion That Mounts the World prophecy for the son she lost... I've not watched the TV show since it diverged so wildly I couldn't hack it any more, but the books with everyone wondering if, like, Jon Snow was this guy instead, etc, picking this that and the other guy... what if Dany's lost child WAS the only one it applied to and the prophecy just fizzled out? ASoIaF looms over Jack's narrative... He's literally been framed against an Iron Throne in the past, and his character arc for parts of season 13 was a sort of anti-Joffrey in many ways. And then in death, GRRM's unromantic look at fairytales and heroic narratives comes for him too, that maybe it doesn't always happen like the stories say...

... but of course, he also has LotR coding, and in THAT regard, Sam Gamgee has his good old speech about the heroes in the stories and how we relate to them and are inspired by them and become them. The stories that matter. And Jack's was supposed to be one of those. In a way, their lives have been so epic that Jack mostly having a personal impact rather than a cosmic one seems wrong to them. That he didn't become the great hero of his own story, but was a tragic hero who ran a dramatic but personal arc and burned out because his asshole father killed him and his asshole uncle presumably finished him off with an experiment in grace transfusion. At least if my dashboard is to be believed :P It's inconcievable to TFW, the "making it up as we go" people who tore up the script and threw away the pages, that they can't just make this happen or that Jack didn't serve some great purpose. Even men as weary of Destiny as they are, struggle. Just because that was their lives, so how could the son of all three of them not follow in all his fathers' footsteps?

"Jack being taken before his time... Being taken before *me*" Cas shut the fuck up.

But that is the speech from Theoden, and once again Sam is Gandalf, which is fucking hilarious that Sam's been Gandalf TWICE this episode.

Ever it's grown on the tombs of my forebears...

you have four bears???

God dammit that joke didn't stop me crying as they go knock their glasses together and hold Jack's lil 3 dads wake

3 Dads Wake is a great name for a whiskey

God, Cas is drinking.

CAS.

They need to give him like one bottle to every finger of whiskey they drink but dammit if they don't get Cas loaded.

Letting them talk privately about how aweomse Jack was and not letting us hear it is a crime

Listen you don't even know me if you didn't think as soon as the nougat appeared on screen I didn't hit pause and sob for a whole minute with my hands over my face

Officially worse than bobby and the goddamn licorice conversation

Cas laughing with caramel hanging out of his mouth is the worst thing the sho whas ever done and I'm suing for emotional damage

Imagine being one of the bitter stans who hates one or more of TFW or Jack right now watching this scene. God, are you even human. They're eating Jack's secret nougat stash they all pretended they didn't know he had.

I can't believe I'm now thinking that Lily showing up will probably be a lighthearted way to bring up the mood of the episode.

Cas is offficially wobbly! We have Cas tipsyness!!

Sam tapping out first. Oh no. Don't leave. Don't.

Fuck you Sam Winchester how dare you canonically be the most lightweight of TFW consistently for the entire show and need to go crash off the side of your bed and sleep on the floor while Dean n Cas are still drinking together.

Did Dean seriously outdrink Cas.

Well that's... something.

I am gonna cling to that like a rock in the churning sea I have walked out into.

Also I managed to calm myself down with walking around my room taking deep breaths so I could go downstairs pretending not to be a wreck, so I could get tea, and my mum made me finish the sudoku for her. I don't have the heart to show her this episode. She loves Jack more than anyone in this god damn fandom and maybe more than Cas does. Maybe I'll lie to her and say the show ended last episode and Jack was fine hahahahaaaa

OH FUCK I hit play and there was a single line of dialogue for the whole wake. Dean drunkenly slurring to Cas, I think, you know we did everything we could, right?

I'm...

*walks further out into the ocean*

"Here's to you Jack, wherever you are" I am not okay.

Oh fork you Meredith we did not need to see the boy in Heaven eating burgers.

Oh fork you Meredith we did not need to see the boy in Heaven eating burgers while on a case with all of his dads.

OH SON OF A BENCH THIS IS THE DODGE CITY CASE AKA 13x06 MEREDITH YOU DINK.

Oh dear, Heaven is broken. Who was the ashhole who was saying that Jack should die so that he can go to Heaven so he's well-placed to help deal with all this nonsense.

LOL Jack would be the sort of person who goes to Heaven and doesn't need more than a second of prompting to be like oh wait I am dead and in Heaven, and just, like... Go open the door. Just pop his head out like cooee I wanna hang with my dads anyone here to replace the bulb in the sun so I can carry on hanging out here for eternity?

Like, seriously, I'm dead, this is when I am supposed to catch a break.

Let The Boy Say Fork.

Listen, secondary to his power to be adopted by everyone on sight, Jack is uncanny also with just walking into trouble.

And to try and be clam for a moment, this is Jack getting pulled back into the story, but not just by unfortunate happenstance, because he was the one with the sharpness, the cosmic awareness even on this level that Heaven just doesn't quiiiiite work for him in the way it's supposed to even if say it was at full power, that he is the one who voluntarily not just understands instantly that something is wrong, but then is fully snapped back to his old self, and chooses to open the door, and that is the moment of choosing to continue his story, at least for now.

It's like how the last time we saw Bobby chronologically was in Inside Man and Cas and Sam woke him from his repose and got the fighting spirit back into him enough to open his own door and rejoin the story for one last hurrah... And it was a choice there too, a moment of once more telling the natural order to screw itself, Bobby could step outside the proscribed ending of his narrative one last time.

Unless Jack finds him and is adopted on sight today.

Sam looks way too healthy.

Invigorated by having a Plan

Lils. Finally getting to see the Bunker filled with all her stolen research notes.

And no that wasn't canon before, but boy am I hoping she recognises her research amongst all the bunker's angel lore.

Men stealing fuckin everything

"We've never looked through Kevin's angel tablet translations"

HAVEN'T WE?

WE HAVEN'T

THEY HAVE BEEN THERE

FIVE

FUCKING

YEARS

And every forking time something comes up where they might be useful I say, HEY WHAT ABOUT KEVIN'S ANGEL TABLET TRANSLATIONS?

and the show says

hey so we don't have the angel tablet but we do have the demon tablet

and I'm like I'm sure that won't have any dumb side effects that could be avoided by having the angel tablet translation just on hand in your archive

did Meredith hear me screeching

because I screeched very very loud after 13x14

13x13 sorry

that was Bucklemming handing her the wrong fucking tablet

this is bitter vindication but feels even better than her and Bobo remembering the grace extracting needle in 12x19

Glynn is a fucking gift.

On the other hand this episode now is pulling on 9x06 and 12x10 at once and that makes me feel woozy

I can't deal with a Glockeybo combo

Also waaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaah Kevin's handwriting. I can't deal with that AND Bobby memories AND FUCKING NOUGAT DEATH

Which I mean I do feel instantly better about once he opened the door and let himself back into the story and I stopped crying at once and cheered up and Lily is indeed providing much needed relief, wild as that all sounds.

Lily trying to explain her soul magic to Sam and Dean, rubes who haven't done a single enochian calculation in their lives.

Wait, no, Sam has done one, in ... 12x19 ...

But yeah, a rube and a completely self-taught asshole who knows like one thing about it.

And she's like oh yeah just use his soul and they're like AAH WTF LILY and she's like er this is the most obvious thing in the world what is the problem here

where are my cas reaction shots

Jack wearing an eyepatch for the rest of the show would be adorable and hilarious

"it won't cost much... he'll never miss it" trust me his soul is enormous and boated with sweet nougat love, he can spare it, guys.

Dean being able to say "Jack's dead" one day later, when he couldn't say it about Cas practically until he was BACK

Nice trade. TECHNICALLY nothing dodgy about it at all, at least in the sense that aside from resurrection consent issues from Jack, once he's back the choice is still on him to choose to grow old and die as Lily has done, or even to stop using the magic to sustain himself and die again immediately if he is squicked out by it... Or it all comes from trading on his OWN soul power.

Definitely better than demon deals or having any favours looming over them etc

And with Heaven in the state it's in, honestly sending Lily there might be easier than they think if NO ONE IS LEFT TO RUN IT.

Er, imminent ghostpocalypse issues aside.

We're in ghostpocalypse territory as of a minute ago show time, btw.

Cas has quietly observed all this chatter and we get back to him when he says, "Don't you think Jack should decide for himself" so honestly Cas is right there with me, and I always like when me and Cas are the ones agreeing on a thing in the episode.

Obligatory reminder that Sam is more aware than most about soul stuff

*takes another piece of coal off the pile I was going to send Meredith for ruining christmas*

HEY, ANUBIS.

Don't tell him about what they did to Osiris

Unless that would amuse him

Wait never mind Meredith is literally throwing in amusing snark about 7x04 which I think when Adam Glass disowned that episode (despite how I actually think it's really good and he was too hard on it) he never expected anyone would ever want to throw in amused references about it in canon ever again.

"When God left - sorry, long story - " Lily is one of the few people who seems able to conceptually roll with the nonsense TFW deals in all day.

She should join the squad. Always room for a 100 year old badass with deep enochian lore knowledge.

I'm sorry has Jack crashed Kelly's heaven or is this a rando little girl. I immediately thought she was Kelly in the long shot and they substituted a lil girl for POV when we got closer and actually had to go back and look again and she was the little girl all along.

This also conceptually looks so much like Cas's eternal tuesday afternoon.. A rainy, flower-filled garden.

Roosevelt looks SO much like the doggie in 11x20 aside from anything else

IT IS KELLY

This is horrifying since they never ever got to meet ever until now and I'm suing Meredith

I mean I'm already suing her but I'm just adding this to the list of complaints. My laywers are working overtime on this episode.

FORK!! THEY GOT HER BACK FROM LEGENDS OF TOMORROW FOR A DAY!!!!

Can Kelly and Jack go on a rampage around Heaven to fix things?

Her hair is suspiciously darker from the back which I think is her Legends look from the gifs I've seen

Wait, Bobby had a forking dog called Rumsfeld, and Kelly has Roosevelt.

"Hi mom you're dead"

".......................................................... NOooOoOooooOOoo No no no baby no"

Owwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwww

Dean resisting the spell and complainging "gotta happen, no other way" is making me feel like the Heaven Drama is going to smack them right before they can get it all done and give them a LOT MORE to worry about than Jack but also give them a roundabout way to see him again and also, of course, mean Lily might be useful for an entirely other purpose while she's here...

Dean right now is rationalising this through the lens of that all their terrible deals have been terrible and that this is just one more step on the Winchester life and death merry-go-round, and of course that Jack is about to get the full family treatment he deserves. But that's the Winchester lens of looking at things that even when deaths are brutal and lives cut unfairly short, there's going to be a way to bring them back if they haven't finished their stories. John finished his, in 2x22 seeing Dean get the revenge he needed to be at peace, but everyone else...

Is it ethically right to put Jack on that merry-go-round when he smiled sweetly and died with as much enthusiasm as he gave pretty much everything in his life?

The table lamps are out in the bunker D: them being dark is so ominous

And Cas shows up like shiiiiiiiiiiiiiit something worse going on guys

They're so casual about just summoning gods into their front room these days

Of course they're doing it in the spot in front of the door with the war room behind in one direction... The opposite end of the library to where they opened the rift.

Sam picks his way through the wet paint but Dean stands right in the centre of this circle for SUMMONING THE GOD WHO DECIDES WHO LIVES AND DIES AND WHERE THEY GO to have this lil chat with Lil?

And now Dean steps out of it and corners her with the obvious question - what's wrong with your magic and why are you risking going to Hell to stop using it entirely?

I'm so sorry you have to look at more dead angels, Cas

I'm also so sorry they were killed by black slime because wow after season 7 that was a laugh and a half for you

... Can you swear in the hallways of Heaven?

DUMA LIVES

(probably "for now" though hopefully longer than that)

Ma'am are you aware you have a Nougat on the loose too

I'd love it if Cas is like hi what's happening also have you seen my son

This actress needs to come back for a 3rd time to follow Dean around in a crisis moment.

OH NO now Cas is coming to the heaven memory and seeing what Jack considered his best memory

YEAH. I knew Naomi would show up, I just didn't know when :D

(She wasn't in the credits as far as I could tell but I already sort of knew they were leaving people off? Or maybe I was thinking lol I bet Amanda Tapping is in this episode and they won't tell us... On the other hand she mAY have been in the credits but I was WEEPING MY EYES OUT so didn't clock her despite my efforts to hold myself together and see who was coming up on screen)

Naomi doesn't have the most dramatic entrance on the show but she sure is racking up points for good entrances one at a time each time she appears. She never just, like... toddles onto screen normally.

"Perhaps the angel side of him knew he was in Heaven" honestly the most tragic thing I was trying not to think about is that he knew the entire time but he was willing to play along and enjoy hanging with his dads for eternity despite that.

Oh man it's another dispute over who owns Jack. Is this kid never going to be allowed to just sit and eat burgers and nougat? (Hopefully not at the same time)

Also based on last episode where it seemed like the Empty was awakening but had Lucifer's eyes and we were all NOOO fork that!! is there some more complicated forked up aspect to what's going on or is it just itself and awake and coming for Jack?

I love how Naomi just casually knows how many people are in Heaven

"What's one nephilim boy against all that?" "But he's MY nephilim boy!!"

OH NO NAOMI

NOT LIKE THIIIIIS

We better get an answer on her state by the end of the episode because she's my fave villain bar Metatron on the entire show and devouring her in shadow is just... yikes.

"give it a sec" *POOF* Anubis is prompt, okay.

He probably honestly is somewhat slighted that they're 14 years into their career and he hasn't clapped eyes on them.

"Yeah, we've died." "A LOT."

I honestly, at this point, do not blame them for their lax attitude towards the permanence of death. They need a lot of counselling they're not getting and until they do they really are going to always be terrible at this.

A brief moment where Anubis is like, am I going to get Flirty Banter with Dean Winchester?? and he looks at him and Dean's eyes are all dead and "my son is dead" and Anubis sighs like welp not today oh well better luck next time, if I survive this...

Getting flirty banter with Dean is a sign of high honour and takes you to some very interesting places.

Into Dean if you stick with it like Crowley did

And Lily's been standing there this whole time like wow these boys suck up all the attention in the room and I kinda hate them

Oh I LOVE this abacus. Is this some nerdy ass research that meredith did to know better than most what to expect here? Even I haven't heard this one, though I haven't really revisited Egypt lore after the expected Egyptology phase as a kid...

Anyway the half white half black beads are super interesting in a wider show symbolism way.

Oh deeear, Lily.

Of course that instantly makes you fascinated about what would happen if TFW stuck their hands over it.

What a good line on the show's philosophy about making your own fate - it's not destiny or a choice from above or anything like that. Your individual actions get you sent to Heaven or Hell in the natural course of things and it's weighed in such a way all he can do is use his equipment to read which way you're going... Everything else is down to you. Free Will, write your own story.

Of course, if Lily did some huge sacrifice I bet she could change things.

CAS LAUGHED

ugh this episode should be banned.

If you hug Kelly I'm rioting.

Everyone who ever hugs Cas slaps their hands firmly on Misha's broad shoulders like it's law and digs in and I don't know if it's because Cas has this wonderful presence about him that even when you're around Misha acting him in the moment you get swept up in it, or you just want to hug Misha like that, but Cas hugs look like the most amazing hugs in the universe and everyone just GOES for it.

Also I am typing this nonsense because I literally used up my box of tissues earlier and the next option is stealing a roll of toilet paper. So I will snark and try and ward off the sobbing.

"I'm so sorry. I failed you." Kelly, who has spent about 5 minutes in Jack's presence and understands his nature even beyond her blind faith in him from before but now gets to see the evidence of it: "You didn't. You didn't."

Yes, please can more characters tell Cas that he did a good job even when things don't quite go to plan. Dean's drunken slurring about how they did the best they could, this...

Kelly tells Cas how wonderful Jack is like Cas doesn't know and Cas breaks up.

And you know what this looks like and I'm not going to survive typing this and can already feel my eyeballs filling up with water... 10x20 and Jimmy and Amelia talking about Claire at the end of the episode oh god I hate it take it away from me.

Oh good Cas telling Jack we need you alive to fix Heaven but just in a passive way where you not being dead means the Empty backs the fuck off rather than you having to DO anything

Ooops the Empty is here as Dumas. I suspect she's not surviving this episode but MAYBE Naomi survives.

I am saying with full wishful thinking after seeing her completely consumed by black goo

I do like the concept of "THERE ARE MAJOR STAKES TO RESURRECT THE BOY. BRING HIM BACK THIS INSTANT. LITERALLY SAVE THE UNIVERSE BY BRINGING THE NOUGAT SON BACK TO EARTH." because that makes it so much different from "hey bring me back and maybe accidentally unleash some terrible evil in the process but we'll deal with it later because that's what we do"

"HE'S OUR KID" Sam snaps

I hate it, thanks

For the love of god appeal to her more as a fellow parent.

Dean DIRECTLY EQUATES Jack and May

Hold me

Equating no soul to not being human in front of Sam aka our no soul test case. Owie. Another reminder of just how hard Dean took it in season 6 until he got Sam back, all that skin crawling feeling of being around him...

You know what? Jack reminds me of the sort of example nice ensoulled Sam stuff we saw in 6x12 when Jared was allowed to play over the top sweet and uncomplicted for a few scenes, just to be a total contrast to how he'd been acting thus far in the season. Of course, we saw him for like 3 scenes of Dean smiling in pure relief when Sam did Nice Things before it all got complicated again, and Jack's been a long-time character :P But Sam does have a sweet street that when it emerges in the rare times it can be uncomplicated, is I think the closest equivalent to where Jack's innocent sweetness is drawn from. He's the son of Sam's puppy dog eyes specifically.

But yeah I think Lily just needs to have this resistance and anger about it all to make it so much more of a flip if she were to decide to do the spell, so that it counts as an even gooder good deed to MAYBE flip her chances. By giving her a good work to do.

And hey maybe if she meets Jack for a minute she'll love him and then be changed by the experience and go out and do more good things etc etc.

DUMAS IS SO GOOD AT BEING CREEPY!!

Misha hammed the FORK out of being the Empty and now she has to live up to it and she IS.

CAS don't fight the Empty by trying to stab it, fight the Empty by humming this is the song that never ends.

*makes a disgruntled sad noise about being forced to see Jack laid out on a table in his cute lil PJs with his cute lil socks*

Wait, if Lily does this spell does this mean she's using up the last of her soul to do it and going to the Empty anyway?

ANGRY LIONESS KELLY COMING TO YELL AT THE EMPTY AND GIVE IT A PIECE OF HER MIND

I've just paused after her yelling "STOP" but whatever happens next, she leaped in when Cas was getting kicked around and that's BAD ASS.

Hitting Kelly is like... probably a rage button Jack didn't even know he had so I would like to see how that goes over, but we cut to them trying to resurrect him.

I forking love how this is 2 seasons in a row where the message seems to be that you live to spite nihilism and the bitter end of death.

D'aw even though Sam said they'd pray it was Dean who used prayer to reach out to Cas in Heaven to give him that heads up. Like, totally practical rather than the sort of prayer he's made before to Cas that was all emotional appeal, but, let's save our son, huh?

CAS NO DON'T SAY THAT

The Empty might also really want to think about that because it knows you forking suck to keep around so trading yourself for Jack is like... really? do I really want that? :P

"Not for years. EONS, MAYBE." Cas, bud. I love you. I want you to stay alive that long. Do you really forking think that with the life you lead you have eons left? I mean it's really heartening to hear you talk about yourself this way. But I have to ask.

The Empty telling Cas that it'll come for him when he finally lets himself be happy is forking hilarious. Cas hasn't been happy once in his life and he doesn't plan to start now. Eons, maybe.

Just like that, he's unlocked eternal, grumpy life. Take notes, Lily.

I mean on a practical level this is basically like, yeah, this is why Destiel isn't canon, because as soon as Cas allows himself to be happy, he's ALWAYS known he gets punished for it. In 4x20 he rebelled for Dean and was instantly dragged back by Naomi... This sense of another mission, never belonging, always being on the outside and not getting the emotional resolution he needs, and actively running from it at times or throwing himself in the way of danger to make Dean be happy without him... it's interesting honestly that the Empty is here as Duma and not Naomi as she's been the agent of hoiking him back from happiness enough times in canon... And that fear of losing everything as soon as you're happy? That's what first kept Dean from Jack and then as soon as he really truly fathered Jack, happened to him. Like, that's Team Free Will's entire life story, starting with Jess, to date, here with the Empty making this threat.

Duma survived!!

Cas... really could have just bought a few minutes to do the spell rather than given himself that burden >.>

But he's determined to make a more lasting sacrifice, one that ensures this won't happen again with Jack, that he can always die whenever he wants and go to Heaven and not be bothered here.

Oops Jack's angry now. Now he's seen a dad sacrifice for him, he's suddenly got a case of the Winchester Angsts. Dean in season 2, for starters. Not a good place to be D: Dean in season 2 is proportionately his worst season.

I'm not crying because I think I already died earlier in the episode, but that was... truly awful... to watch Cas tell Jack he's at peace with it and he loves him and everyone loves him and then Kelly butts in like I LOVE YOU TOO and mom him a bit with straightening his jacket and hugging him and... UGH.

Lily has either the start of a heart attack or loses her soul entirely in the background and wanders into a corner to die? Er.

OH HEY WE ALSO MANAGED TO GET THE WORST DEAN HUG SINCE 2x22 WHEN HE GRABS JACK. NEVER SEEN HIM HUG LIKE THAT BEFORE, DON'T WANT TO SEE IT AGAIN THANKS

Nope, she just dieded.

Let's hope she went to heaven and we get a super corny young Lily surprise Alicia Witt return moment at the end since this episode is just throwing everything at it.

It's Anubis' office!!!

Wow, that's a noisy annoying place to work

Still, I LOVE these visualisations of where the cosmic forces of the universe work

I called it super corny but I'm DYING to see Lily's fate change.

"Say hello to your daughter for me" DOn't make me cry about Lily please I beg you I am run dry

OH THANK GOD NAOMI SURVIVED. Hooooooraaaaay!!!!!!! Oh this is a wonderful ending to a perfect episode to not have to deal with her having being consumed and left dead off-screen somewhere.

LOL that slam as he realises what's up and even though she obviously can do what she wants, he's still protectively closing Kelly's door to put a barrier between her and Naomi.

"I'm here to thank you"

Oldest trope in the book, but I love when they look over their shoulder to see if "you" is someone else, and Cas, unflappable Cas, in Naomi's presence, still checks the infinite empty corridor.

*double checks*

"...... you're welcome?"

Wheee unlocked new plot for altrusim!

Ahahaaaahaaaaaaaaa Jack wrapped in a fluffy grey robe. Listen. I am

not

okay.

Jack with his burger and Dean's dead guy robe, spitefully living...

I bet Dean made the burger

WHY did I type that when I knew how likely it was to make my eyes burn.

I did not cry at the last scene of them all at the table so I am going to eat extra cookies at lunch as a reward.

And Jack and Cas sharing a little glance, knowing what Cas did. Father and Son's first dire family secret! :')

And gently roll the camera away to credits to leave them to their happy little scene.

Presumably with a slow fade so you can fumble for some more tissues.

Gyah.

#14x08 #season 14 spoilers #I am angry about how in the last 3 seasons multiple episodes have wandered around like hi I am the new best episode of the series #make up your MIND #remember when Baby felt weird like it was the first in years that had smashed the season 5 barrier of where all the Best Episodes were #and like aside from 6x11 and 7x10 we'd long passed the episodes that were utter stand outs in their field?#and now you have a like 50:50 gamble you're just going to walk into the Best Episode of the Show #it's fucking annoying #my stuff

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5t0ryt1m3 · 4 years

Text

The Halloween Hero Chapter 3 Waking Up

Note: Mrs. Finkelstein is what I think the person who toke Sally’s place as Dr. Finkelstein’s caretaker at the end of the movie.

Hoping to wake up at a hospital, Izuku didn’t understand where he was. Luckily, there are people here to help him.

Tags:

Warnings: Confused baby, like really confused, help him

Word Count: 984

The last thing Izuku Midoriya remembered was the searing pain as the knife opened up his chest. He must have fainted from the pain. The Pro Heroes must have found him! If he was still alive –

Izuku opened his eyes but instead of the clean white ceiling of a hospital, Izuku saw a grimy stone grey ceiling. The only light in the room was coming from the window – which was sunlight! The window had some metal bars (that were comically spread apart) in it. Looking away from the window, Izuku looked to the large metal door that was shut tight.

At first, Izuku thought he was trapped until he saw the home cooked meal with a letter. The meal … kinda looked like food but … not the right colors or anything that Izuku thinks that is Japanese. The meal was made of what looked to be toxic green eggs, orange bacon and black pancakes.

The letter was made of broken Japanese but Izuku could at least make out what it was trying to say. It was from a woman named Sally (she also made his food).

Sally’s letter was telling him that her father had done surgery on him and he was in her old room. Her father (Dr. Finkelstein was his name) had him here to keep an eye on Izuku. Sally, her father, or her step mother would cheek on Izuku every hour. The letter also apologized for the bad Japanese as it had been a long time sense she had written in it.

Izuku liked Sally just from the letter alone. She reminded him of his mother. The letter didn’t mention anything about his mother but hopefully the people here would get him back to her. Izuku didn’t want to waste Sally’s home cooked meal so he took a small bite.

It wasn’t like anything he had tasted. It wasn’t bad, oh no, far from that. It also wasn’t like his mom’s cooking yet he still would love to eat more. It most certainly nothing like katsudon, but, Sally’s meal was scarfed down within minutes of the first bite.

Izuku placed the plate back on the bedside table just as the metal door opened up. Coming in was a woman with blue skin (that was stitched together), bright red hair, and a dress made up of patched work fabrics.

“Oh, you’re awake.” The woman spoke with accented Japanese, “Hello there. I am Sally Skellington.”

“Hello Skellington – san,” Izuku greeted. This was Sally from the letter and the one who made his meal. “I am Izuku Midoriya. Thank you for the food and taking care of me.”

“Please call me Sally and you’re welcome.” Sally smiled sweetly at Izuku. It reminded the boy of his mother.

“Sally! How is the boy?” An older male voice called out followed by the sound of an electronic wheelchair coming close.

“He’s awake, Father!” Oh! Sally’s father was in a wheelchair! Sally’s father wheeled himself in, followed by a woman who looked somewhat similar to Sally’s father. Was that her aunt?

“Jack is coming in an hour dear. He had to go see the Mayor.” Sally’s maybe aunt told the blue skinned woman. Sally thanked the ash white woman before leaving the room.

“Who’s Jack … um … if you don’t mind me asking.” Izuku asked the older woman as Sally’s father used doctor items on him.

“No need to be shy dear. Jack is Sally’s husband and the Pumpkin King of Halloween Town.”

“Pumpkin King? Halloween Town?”

“Yes, yes. What do you know about Halloween child?”

“Um … It is a Western holiday and you get free candy?” Both of the elderly folk gave a hearty laugh before Sally’s father spoke.

“You have some of it right. Much like the Obon Festival you have in Japan, Halloween is a time for the spirits that have long ago, good and bad, passed to return to the mortal world.”

“However, as the years went on, the holiday evolved to the trick or treating and scaring holiday that it is today. Here in Halloween Town, we are keeping the Halloween Spirit alive and in charge of making sure Halloween is a success every year.”

“Really!? That sounds like a lot of work!” Izuku’s eyes widen as Sally’s father nodded.

“Yes and the Pumpkin King is the leader of us all. Whoever represents the Halloween Spirit the most is crowned the Pumpkin King. Jack has been said king for many years.” Sally’s maybe aunt further explained as Sally’s father wrote somethings down.

“Wow! You all must have some cool quirks.”

“Oh dear, we have been around before quirks.” Izuku’s brain stopped at that. Before quirk? That would be over 100 years ago! No one could live that long … right? “Dear, I think I short circuited the boy’s brain.”

“Let the news run its course. If he hasn’t broken out of it by the time Jack gets here, we can give him a small zap.”

“Um … how old are you?”

“Oh! A few thousand years old. Sally is a little older than me. Dear, do you remember how old you are?”

“At least two thousand years old. Haven’t really been keeping track.”

“How are you that old? No human could live that long?!” Izuku asked. He was genuinely confused about this! Izuku was only five years old! What was going on? The sound of Sally and another person was getting closer.

“Jack, make sure to be patient with him. The boy did just wake up.”

“Of course Sally! I just want to him. If he is up to it, Demon can visit.” A new male voice, this one was more like a young to middle aged adult, made himself known, “Ah! Hello there my boy!”

Izuku’s brain did the record scratch sound as a really tall skeleton in a black and white pin striped suit walked in.

#My writing #BNHA #my hero academia #boko no hero academia #nightmare before christmas #dr. finklestein #oc #mrs. finkelstein #sally #Izuku #help this boy

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ohgoddard · 4 years

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What’s Faster? My Heart or Light Speed? Chapter 2

Space is the truest representation of space between atoms, the astounding nothing that exists is truly mindboggling. While billions of miles away I can see the shimmering lights of stars and the swirling masses of gas clouds and galaxies, I still find myself surrounded by nothing. An apt representation indeed.

Except I’m not truly alone. Mere days ago I was expecting my slow and uneventful death to occur, where I was then saved by the( and I sound like a school girl when I say this) illustrious Dr.O’Reilly, who has yet to tell me her first name. She and I spend a lot of time together right now, being the only ones awake on the ship. But, its mostly been my laying down on a bed due to my not eating and dehydration affecting my abilities to move. But that hasn’t stopped me from struggling around the ship when she’s not around (doing literally God knows what, there is no one else on this ship).

The ship seems to be made for so much more life, and I guess that makes sense. It would serve as our base when we got to the new planet. The good Doctor has a room to herself on this ship, one reserved for the Captain. She told me that he wouldn’t be using it for a few hundred more years, so he wouldn’t mind.

A few hundred more years. That is how much time was left in this little expedition we were on. I wouldn’t even eclipse one of those hundred years, let alone the other five or six. I tried to ask the Doctor about what we’re going to do for the rest of our lives here, but she just kinda smiled and said “Don’t you worry, i’ll think of something.” And let me tell you, right there no solar flare could match the level of heat that rose in my face when she gave me that smile. Could she have been flirting with me there? That little smile? Usually I talk to someone about this kind of stuff, but...no one appears to be here.

In a way I could say i’m trapped again, but this time its far worse. No, it is truly the worst. I am trapped by myself this time. Not in the “I am trapped and alone”, no no. Me myself is trapping me. Which sounds really dumb but i’m panicking ok?! What am I supposed to do when a VERY beautiful woman looks my way and gives me a sly smirk and potentially flirtatious sentence? I need to clear my head.

I,very slowly, throw the covers off of me and (once again) very slowly move myself onto the crutches I've been provided. My ‘”room” was no more than a bed and dresser. A small TV screen hung over me, having the entirety of Earth’s media lexicon (how they got those companies to agree to put everything together a feat more impressive than space travel). Other than that, barren. I hobble over to my dresser to change out, and I sigh as I pull out an almost identical colorless white and blue streaked suit to the one I wore in my “coffin”.

It was a struggle to get on, what with the pain and general reluctance to leave my room at all. A trait I carried on from my childhood I guess. Eventually I do get everything on and I hobble outside my room to the communal area that was intended for far more people than who is currently using it. I.e. Me. And, surprisingly today, Dr. O’Reilly. If one could stumble awkwardly in crutches as I could, then I would like to see them. It was like a new born deer. The doctor today was dressed in a yellow sweater, her usual lab coat,and Jack Skellington pajama pants. Her fluffy bunny slippers were as red as her hair, and i’m thinking my face as well. Her freckles mirrored the stars outside, her eyes like two planets obscuring them. I could get lost staring at her, and I would’ve had she not looked up from the book she was reading and cocked her head at me, her glasses slipping down her nose as she did so.

Now, I was never good around those I had a crush on. I act pretty much that same every time. This lead to my perpetual singularity. It comes in stages, whenever I talk to someone I’m interested in.

“G-good morning Doctor! Y-you’re here , why’re you here?”

First I stutter and try and be casual, which never happens.

She smirks (AHHHHH) and gets up from the lounge chair she was sitting in. “Ms. Derringer, are you having a cold? Your face is heating up and you’re shaking quite a bit.” Yeah there’s the second part, the shaking.”Now, this absolutely cannot go on. Go back in your room and I will take care of you.”

“W-wait im fine really. I-i’m not sick!” “I will not take no for an answer on this one, I am the doctor after all!” . She physically picks me up and turns me around. Which, left me in quite a bit of shock on a number of things. 1. The doctor was WAY stronger than I originally thought.I guess when you’re alone a ship what’re you to do? 2. I didn’t know I’d lost that much weight, but pretty happy I cut that down a bit not gonna lie. 3. AHHHHH THE DOCTOR TOUCHED ME, WHAT .

“Come on now, lets get back to bed. I’ll be right back.” She guided me back to my bed and laid me back down. She placed her hand on my head after wrapping me up. “Wow, you’re burning up! I think I was right on the money. I will be right back with something to help with this.” She was so close to me. I could smell the vanilla perfume she used. I think this is a kind of torture in countries, to be this socially awkward around someone who you absolutely cannot stop thinking about. Except its worse for me, because she is literally the only other person on this ship and I can’t help but think of her. Her being drop dead gorgeous is NOT helping me either.

A few minutes pass, me lying in my bed slowly dying of embarrassment. The door opens once again and the doctor is is back. And she is carrying a small tray. On it is a bowl and a water bottle. “ We’re going to give you the good old-fashioned medicine. Rest, soup, and hydration. And, company! I don’t believe you’ll get me sick, so i’ll spend some time with you today!” She closes her eyes and gives a huge smile. I’m reminded of my 8th grade literature class, saying that starting a war over one girl because of something as dumb as beauty.

I wish I could eat my own words.

I was never much to be attracted to anyone, mostly because they never were back. However, now I find myself absolutely head over heels. A million reasons race in my head. Could it be because she saved my life and im just really thankful? Is it because she is the only one on the ship and we’d just naturally gravitate towards each other? Or do I truly feel these feelings for her.

“Oh! Let me bring in a chair so I can sit with you. And put on something cool! Like Firefly.”

“What’s Firefly?” I ask. She stops in the doorway and turns around with an incredulous look on her face. “ Something that we’re going to watch immediately. We have all the time in the world, so you’re going to learn about the best shows to ever exist.” And as she left, I sat there in a state of utter...joy? It was in this minute that I knew I truly did like the doctor that way. Perhaps this could be the start of our relationship?

She came back in with one of the lounge chairs and pulled it up to my bed. As the show started, some scifi cowboy thing, I turned to her.

“Doctor, I..I dont believe I got your name?”

She smiles.”Leah. And don’t worry, I already know yours.”

#scifi #scifi romance #writers #creative writing #writing community #original story #romance story #stories #lovestory #love story #lgbt story #chapter 2

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surveys-at-your-service · 6 years

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Survey #154

“the wind is screaming, it’s screaming your name; it sounds like fear.”

What is your opinion on sex without emotional commitment? nononononoNONONONO. Last time you puked from drinking? Never. What books, if any, have made you cry? Johnny Got His Gun, Old Yeller, The Outsiders (I think; I know the movie did), The Notebook, uhhh others, I'm sure. Does it get annoying when somebody says they’ll call you, but doesn’t? It depends on the person, but honestly, almost never. I hate talking on the phone. What is your favorite simple ice-cream flavor? Usually vanilla, but sometimes I'm all about chocolate, especially if I can't put chocolate syrup on it. When was the last time you slept on the floor? Jeez, probably when me and Jason did at my house. I've slept on an inflatable mattress since, but I'm guessing you mean literally on the floor with blankets and such. If you could eat one food for the rest of your life, what would it be? I dunno. I doubt it really, but don't potatoes have all the nutrients you actually need to survive? If so, then probably that, but otherwise, uh. I dunno, I'd get tired of things or die 'cuz I'm not getting what I need. I could say shakes, but I consider those drinks. Have you ever given someone oral sex? Yeah, fucking hated it. I'm bi, yes, but visually, penises are disgusting to me. I don't want it in my mouth. I only ever really did it to make him happy. I'm open to trying it with a girl, but who knows if I'd like it. What's your favorite lyric from the last song you listened to? "Hey, hey, NRA, how many kids did you kill today?" ("Shelter In Place" by Otep) Are you friends with someone that has a baby? My best friend does. How many different towns/cities have you lived in? Three. Have you ever had a kinky dream about a celebrity? No. How many pets do you have? Would you like any more? Six, and I kinda want another snake to breed with Venus when she's big enough. I want to keep at least one of the babies to help with Sara's snake breeding passion. Is there a song you can’t stop listening to atm? Oh yeesh, yeah. I've fallen in love with Powerwolf recently and thus play a number of their songs repeatedly. How many bedrooms does your home have? Two. How many times do you use a bath towel before washing it? Once. Annoys the hell out of Mom but like, I feel like there may be leftover germs I'm getting off + maybe dead skin 'cuz my skin in dry as fuck??? What time do you usually eat dinner? This can vary from 6:00 to like almost 9:00. I can't cook and Mom works late, so. I'll make my own microwavable things if I can't wait for her to make something. Do you know any narcissists? Jason????? Dillon????? dat u???????? Have you ever been falsely accused of something serious? I don't believe so? In which were you happiest: elementary, middle, or high school? Elementary. What was your favorite thing to do as a little kid? Video games. You can bring back one dead pet to life. Which one? Cali, for Mom. She misses her so much. Rock, paper, or scissors? I think I usually do scissors. Who was the last person to ask you out? Girt. What are your favorite pajamas you have? My purple, black, and white Jack Skellington ones ahhh What’s your least favorite ice-cream flavor? Strawberry is disgusting. Do you prefer it when it gets darker earlier? NOOOOO. This is totally inverted from how it used to be, but I'm more likely to feel down when it's dark. Are there a lot of cookbooks in your house, or just a few? Or maybe none at all? Mom has tons she never uses. Who are your godparents? I don't think I have any. Can you touch your nose with your tongue? No. What brand is your toothpaste? Crest. Are you currently broken out? No. What was the last hotel you stayed at? I dunno. Do you have a favorite NASCAR driver? No. Eyeliner. Yes or no? If I wear makeup, that's the bare minimum. What’s the hardest decision you’ve ever had to make? Let Jason go or continue to let what we had ruin my life. Where is the last beach you went to? Myrtle Beach, NC. Have you ever been rock climbing? Nah, not interested. Have you ever played Gamecube? No. What has been the biggest event for you to overcome? Recovery. It changed me for the better so much. Do you have a favorite pet? No one can beat Teddy. I doubt any pet ever will. When someone drops something do you immediately go and pick it up for them? If I’m close, unless they're already reaching for it, yes. Could you call your best friend right now and tell them your biggest secret, and trust them to keep it? HAHAHAHA NO tbh. I love her, but she tells people everything. Have you ever played Wii Fit? Yup. Everyday one summer, lost 40 pounds, got in great shape. Have you ever touched a caterpillar? Yeah, loved picking up the ordinary ones as a kid. Is there a YouTube channel whose videos you always watch? I will watch literally any video Mark makes. How often do you feel lonely? This is like. Almost a daily struggle. Do you struggle with depression? I'm diagnosed with it, but it's well-controlled now! While in a relationship, do you ever think about its possible end? I worry about it BADLY. Even in my current one where I feel completely secure, I have some spans of "what if" anxiety. What is the worst treatment you’ve had to put up with from someone else? Ummmm. I dunno. What’s the longest you’ve gone without eating? 24 hours, probs. Do you like watching music videos? No. I just care about the music. Which, if any, drug have you ever abused? None. Do you know your mail (wo)man? No. Honestly, are you often high-maintenance/hard to please? No. Are there any flags flying outside at your home? No. Will you vote in the next presidential election? If the remaining candidates don't fucking suck, yes. Tell me about someone that you know dislikes you. What do you think is about you they don’t like? The one person I know doesn't is my best friend's mom, but I can't tell you exactly why. There's no telling what Colleen told her after our fight, but. Colleen has told me her mom thinks I could "hurt" her son somehow. I was fucking livid. I adore that boy and would do anything to protect him. Oh yeah, know she mentioned I was a bad influence, too. But hey, the hate is mutual, I've never been able to stand her. Tell me about something you’re afraid of. Why does it frighten you? Getting heartbroken again. Last time tore me the fuck apart, I seriously don't know if I could do it again. Worst pain I have ever experienced. Is there someone you could hang out with all the time, without ever getting bored of them? Sara <3 Have you ever liked someone else when you already had a boyfriend/girlfriend? What happened? Yup, first high school crush Sebastian. And nothing really happened; he was taken (though I'm pretty sure he had at least mild feelings for me too), though it was at a complicated point. Then I met Jason. What mountain ranges have you seen? The Appalachians. Where would you most like to go in your state, etc that you haven’t been? THERE'S AN ABANDONED WIZARD OF OZ-THEMED PARK IN THE WEST AND I WANNA VISIT. Have you ever seen or touched an iceberg? No. Where was the most remote location you’ve ever been to? I dunno. What is your most unhealthy habit? Not exercising? Has your house ever been damaged in a storm? A tree fell on our old house during a hurricane. It didn't cause severe damage or anything, though. What’s the least amount you’ve weighed since reaching your full height? ~118. Hilarious. Do you think it’s cruel to keep an animal in a cage while you’re away? Depends on the size of the cage and how long they're staying in there. Are you scared of reptiles? Not at all. Does death scare you? Not that much. Do you use a comb or brush? Comb now that my hair's short. When you were younger, did you ever do that exclamation point that looked like an upside down triangle and had a really big dot? No. What kind of relationship do you have with the last person you kissed? She's my girlfriend. Are there things in your life that you’ll never be able to get over? If I could get over my breakup, I can get over anything. Have you ever turned to smoking or drinking to solve a problem? New Years of 2017 I actually did try to get drunk for that purpose. Would you mind dating someone significantly shorter than you? No. What’s on your bedside table? Yeesh, a lot. A fan, a basket with all my meds in it, sketchbook, notebook, my folder full of things from Holly Hill as well as my therapy homework folder. There's other miscellaneous stuff too. How much money would it take to get you to give up the Internet for one year? This is pathetic, but probably like... no amount. My life sadly revolves around it, just about. What are some things on your holiday wishlist? Always tattoo money lmao. But I'd really love a drawing tablet, but a decent quality one. Can't have both. Who accompanied you to your first concert? Jason, Mom, and Nicole. What’s the temperature outside? Phone says 79. Gonna get to 90, though. Have you ever been in detention? Yes, too many tardies getting to school. Do you wear black to look skinnier? Not for that reason, but it's a plus lol. Do you have scars on your wrists? You can barely see them, but they're there. How about anywhere else? Yeah, quite a few. Do you post things on Facebook that are personal? No. Has the last person you kissed ever taken their shirt off in front of you? Just to change it. Would you ever get in the passenger seat of a car with someone who’s been drinking? Fuck that. What is a topic you definitely don’t want to talk about with anyone? How I'm 99% sure I lost my virginity. What is the craziest hairstyle and color you’ve had? Style, probably what I had before this where I had short hair on most of my left side and it faded to long. Color, purple. What was your first gaming console? Original PlayStation. Which fictional villain is your favorite? Um obviously Darkiplier???????? What’s the last thing you’ve made with your hands? Hm. Dunno. Which hair color would you never want to have? Yellow. Who’s the last person you talked to about sex? Sara. What is the wallpaper on your phone? My lock screen is a heavy reminder that I am still straight as fuck for Mark, home screen is my favorite pic of me and Sara. What was the last thing you wrote down? Stuff at the tattoo/piercing parlor to get my tongue done. What is your least favorite color? Puke green or olive. What’s the most boring sport to watch? Golf. Sara, don't tell your dad I said that.

#survey #quiz #questions #random

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