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4dtk · 4 years

Text

stuck with you

pairing: enemy!journalist!haechan x journalist!reader

genre: angst, fluff, humour, enemies to lovers (hope i did the trope justice tbh TT)

warnings: cursing, f words lmao, i mention stranger things a lot in this??? mainly bc i just finished watching it w a friend. i also only use ‘haechan’ when narrating the story so i don’t get confused! the timeline for this is Very Weird as well bc like i didn’t consider how long a pandemic would last…… so Uhm. pls just excuse the weird ass time sequence. also referenced yangyang’s bastard child behaviour from dream plan where he packs his things messily and kun had to mf intervene and yangyang had the audacity to go like “see, this is how u get ppl to pack for you, now i don’t have to do anything” 💀

word count: 8k (a headache to proofread...)

A/N: first time trying an e2l trope and im not sure if it was done ok??? i didn't want it to feel too rushed so i tried to spread out the days as much as i could!! i also included small snippets of their life w the other so it won’t seem like the fic is just focusing on the e2l concept! was inspired tons by the lyrics of stuck with u by ariana grande and jb, so that song is definitely something you can listen to if you read this! hope you enjoy ^^

[day 1]

"you're insufferable," you groan, reluctantly handing over the remote control for the hotel's television after some unsuccessful scrolling.

hotels never exactly had much range anyway.

you were very much already dreading the time ahead with the male, sadly having been stuck in quarantine not even half a day with haechan.

offering to go to a neighbouring country to report on the rising covid-19 situation, you didn't expect your rival to tag along, no doubt seeking to craft up a better story than you would.

and so, you were now nudging the remote control into his waiting palm with a roll of your eyes. you hoped it emphasised your annoyance with him even a little, standing up to prepare a cup of tea before bed.

"are you going to keep watching television while i sleep?" you ask a genuine question, peeking at him through the mirror of the vanity that sat outside the bathroom.

he just shrugs with a tired sigh, turning his attention back to the cartoon playing in front of him.

"okay, well, keep to your side of the bed and i'll stay in mine. we need to be social distancing, anyway."

there's a hint of "okay, loser" mumbled under his breath, but you pay it no thought as you finish your tea and brush your teeth before you skillfully set up a fortress made out of pillows.

"ow! what the hell?"

"your leg was in the way, jeez! move it, and i'll stop annoying you," you said, putting up the last of your requested pillows beside where haechan currently sat.

taking one last glance at haechan, you wondered when the lockdown in your country would last before they start letting people fly in. for now, you were trapped with the nightmare himself in a sad hotel room, with only a bed to share.

"goodnight," he tells you, but the sardonic way he says it irks you to the point where you settle for silence instead. the only thing that drones on are the voices of the cartoon, soon fading as you feel into a dreamless sleep.

[day 4]

"this virus thing is probably driving me insane by day, and you, lee haechan, are adding on to it!"

"no headlines, no idea what style to write in, minimal pictures-" the doorbell to the hotel room interrupts your current rant, prompting you to storm off to answer the call with an annoyed look.

"what now?" taken aback by your quick response, the housekeeping girl retracts with downturned eyebrows and a voice hesitant to speak. your roommate comes to the rescue almost immediately when he's heard the commotion.

you watch as he sends her a smile and a wink, deflating when he's let her in to clean up the room. you're not sure why you can't keep your eyes off the both of them as they converse, blaming it mostly on your hatred for the male.

with the last of her duties fulfilled, you offer to help her with the cleaning supplies as an apology, but she cuts you off almost immediately. there's a linger in her step, however, as she walks the short hallway to the door, evident in wanting haechan to send her off as he received her.

turning back to call him, he holds up a hand as he types down his opening lines to an article, prompting you to shoot the housekeeper girl another apologetic look.

"sorry again," you mumble, letting out a sigh at how this was all playing out. day four and you were already making enemies with the hotel crew.

"maybe day forty-one is where i fall in love with lee haechan," you scoffed, perhaps listing down all the unfortunate things that could happen while you were in quarantine.

one of them was catching feelings for your rival.

rolling your eyes, you settled on the bed to catch a few Zs as he continued to work on his article, though you weren't exactly sure about the weight your words held.

[day 9]

"haechan, what is this?" you ask with an eyebrow raised, his dirty boxers barely hanging off your finger.

haechan only groans at that, knowing you were relentless in the laundry. even in a pandemic, he was sure you'd prioritise your clothes first.

"jesus! don't go picking up my underwear just like that!" he snatches it from you, folding it neatly and placing it next to where his luggage sat. unfortunately, yours was right beside his.

"you think just because you're doing the laundry you're able to look through a man's prized possessions-!"

your jaw drops, "it was near the sink, haechan! i don't want to look at the checkered pattern on your boxers when i brush my teeth. i don't want it near my face either."

haechan groans yet again, running a hand through his hair in frustration before turning back to the computer, a blank document opened up in front of him.

despite gathering findings, interviewing healthcare workers and serving the public alongside frontline staff, he had deleted every attempt at writing.

there's a rumble from the bathroom, perhaps from your upset stomach or the choked pipe, but sometimes they sounded too similar he couldn't tell it apart. haechan stifles a laugh when there's a "fuck!" echoing behind the door, though unsure if he should help you or not.

when haechan hears another crash, he comes running without hesitation with a face morphed into furrowed eyebrows and a tilt of the head.

"don't just stand there, you moron!"

haechan snaps out of his daze to assist you off the floor, swiftly helping you even more off the floor as he carries you to the bed with a stiff one arm. you notice his other hand hanging awkwardly, probably not knowing what to do with it before you feel the soft sheets under your butt.

he gets to work within a minute, fishing for an ointment and some bandages his mother forced him to bring. he remembers it as he always has: a caring mother looking out for her son, maybe a little too much sometimes.

haechan is thankful for his mother, now, for the stray bandages laying around in his pouch.

you watch in silence as he cleans the cut with alcohol, wincing when his hand hadn't even touched your skin.

"my hand isn't even on your skin yet! jeez, calm down."

you shake your head, holding onto his bicep to halt his arm, "just use water, please."

exhaling in exasperation, you wonder if you've pissed him off tenfold when he leaves for the bathroom with a side-eyed glance, though not hostile.

"problematic," haechan whispers, dabbing a wet cloth over the wound carefully before applying the ointment and securing the bandages.

"your words contradict your actions so much, haechan. i never know what you're thinking." sighing, you pull your leg away from his hold after he's done with the bandages, making your way to the bathroom and leaving him in his thoughts.

"why do you want to know?"

haechan gets silence; the lock of the bathroom audibly turns to signal another wall put up between the two of you. with another frustrated groan, the boy plops down on the chair to work on his article with the right words forming in his mind.

even if he was the one who asked, he wasn't sure if he was ready to tell you.

[day 13]

"stranger things is freaking me the fuck out, man!" haechan whispered, ignoring your pleads and groans to continue writing.

"haechan! give me the damn laptop! i don't even know why you brought an HDMI cable when it doesn't work with the television system here!"

"well, we got one that matches it, didn't we?" he said, eyes peeled to the screen that showed the young boy, will, in the upside-down.

"you mean you did!" you shoved him, ready to disconnect the devices before haechan held you back, clearly entranced by the next sequence of eleven being able to see will in a pool of salt.

"ugh, god, i don't even know why people watch the show!" you spill with sourness, knowing the show was praised for its excellent acting and writing.

haechan raises an eyebrow, turning to you with a strangely slow speed.

"stranger things have received multiple awards, and you didn't give any other reason. are you scared?"

when you struggle to find words, haechan laughs at his revelation, hiding his pearly whites behind his hand as he continues to make fun of you.

"yeah yeah, i'm scared! so what?"

"'oh haechan! oh no~ i'm terrified, would you care to provide some comfort?' jeez, don't worry, man, i'll protect you." there's a cheeky glimmer in his eyes and a cocky smirk on his face which you very much want to wipe off with the disinfectant in the toilet.

"it's not all that bad, c'mon! give it a-" turning back to the tv, the sudden attack of the demogorgon lashing out at the camera has the male screaming, hiding behind your body in fear.

"you were saying, mr superman?" you deadpan, unlatching his arms around your waist as you sink deeper into the sheets with your phone in hand.

[day 17]

haechan thrashes in his sleep, almost knocking the wine glass you had in your hands when he crosses over the pillow barrier you made.

"what in the hell-" you winced, keeping an eye on the male should he have any more outbursts that would ruin both wine night and the stuff you were working on for the article.

with tipsy hands, your keyboard keys unconsciously write out a letter of disdain and confusion regarding haechan, the boy sleeping next to you with a cute drooling face and curly hair.

with beautiful tan skin like that, you wondered why he didn't model instead. with a voice as impressive as his, you wondered why he didn't sign a contract. with natural hosting capabilities, you wondered why didn't fucking get the place of a talk show host.

because man, he can get pretty bothersome sometimes.

[day 20]

the next few days pass by with a breeze.

despite not knowing how the current pandemic will turn out, you find haechan more bearable, his habits being dumped in the past with a wave of a hand.

petty arguments occur, of course, until one of you brushes off the matter like nothing.

today was one of the days you won't back down.

there's worry evident on your face, eyes scanning through every last document on the stupid laptop. fingers travel fast over the keyboard as the realisation slowly dawns on you.

with slumped shoulders, you take a deep breath before turning to the male.

"what do you mean you accidentally deleted my article? i know we're sharing the damn laptop, but we established that you stay on your files and i stay on mine."

the other waved his hand, "i did not touch any of your files, (y/n), i'm not sure what happened."

"how could you not know? what the hell? i had good content on it, but now i have to spend more hours reorganising the news and interview answers and everything else in my notes. thanks, lee haechan."

"maybe if you weren't so caught up in me trying to sabotage your place in the publication team, then you would've believed me." he shrugged, taking a seat on the one bed like nothing.

you scoffed, arms crossing across your body. "funny how you mention sabotage because a villain never reveals their motive. that's why you came with me, didn't you?"

haechan stuck his tongue out to the side of his mouth, eyes blinking and rolling like an 8-ball that it sickened you to the core.

"villain? i'm the villain?"

"was i not clear?" you hiss, stepping closer to the male.

"no, make it more precise, please. i wanna hear it word for word. spit it out, coward."

with every word, you plunged your finger into his chest, looking deep into his eyes. "you're set out to take my place for department editor, where you know i'm best at."

"and that department would be...?" he crossed his arms, looking down at you with scorn you wished you could slap off his face.

"the..." you gulp with his face all up in yours, eyes boring as he awaits your answer, no doubt losing confidence at your realisation.

"the world depart...ment? you love to travel, right?" you trail off, biting your lip in anxiety when you remember how he was on the plane. you don't exactly remember whether he was more excited or scared.

"wrong! try again."

"politics?" you propose.

haechan's face contorts into disbelief, with his mouth twisted with perplex and eyebrows furrowed. "me? politics?"

your mouth runs dry at the roadblock you've faced, and as that annoying, stupid smirk grows, your hatred for him increases by the charts.

"naming departments i'd rather die than join, running your mouth, accusing me of deleting your files..." haechan shakes his head dramatically, rolling his eyes and letting out a fat sigh.

"you think i wanna be stuck here with your infuriating ass? god, you're so entitled, aren't you? aren't you?!"

"talking like you own the place, talking like you're the only one in this world, talking like- mhfh-"

within three angry steps, you were across the room.

within three booming steps, your hands were on his face.

within three significant steps, you were kissing lee haechan.

"you never learn to shu..." with horror, you're brought back from the trance with widened eyes.

"oh, god, sorry. what. what the hell. what the fuck?" you whisper, pushing the boy away with both hands in a panic, trying to highlight your scorn for him by wiping your lips on your sleeve.

had you liked it?

the other scurried to the balcony in a frenzy while you collected yourself in the bathroom, although no amount of water could calm your nerves.

with shaky words in bed, you both agreed to never talk about it again.

[day 25]

"hey, i can see your damn annotations on my article, (y/n). will you stop it?" haechan whines, making you second guess if he was joking or not.

for the nth time that day, you roll your eyes and proceed to sip from your cup of gin tonic that haechan desperately wanted you to try. it was... a refreshing taste, but hell, you wouldn't drink this even if it was the last beverage on earth.

"i'm just giving my feedback, be thankful i didn't bring up that stupid kiss five days ago. bleugh."

haechan falls quiet at that, fingers lingering over the keyboard as he typed out some note with the speed of a sloth's.

"hey, call me donghyuck. that's my actual name," he mumbles, glancing at you through his bangs while he awaits your reply.

"donghyuck? is haechan an alias?"

the boy shrugs, "i don't know, maybe. my friends gave it to me when i was younger, and i just stuck with it."

"full sun? your friend gave it to you, sure." you grin with a gesture of your hand, almost spilling the gin in the clear glass before breaking into small laughter with the other.

[day 28]

"hey! hey, what the hell?" you whisper, feeling the boy huddle up to you in lightning speed.

"what is wrong with you?" you whisper-shout, nudging him off your body as his phone screen remains as the only thing illuminating his face.

"sorry, i- i was watching stranger things while i was shitting and after i cleaned up... i heard something and bolted out of there."

"so now you're butt naked? hyuck, ew!" you groan, thankful for the sheets that were covering your body and his junk. his reluctance to get off you didn't seem to bother you as much as earlier, but you still wished he wasn't literally naked against you.

"go put on your underwear, you big baby. i'll be here when you come out. no demogorgon is going to come out, for real."

"no no, i was watching season two and it was that big shadow thingy that freaked me out. can't you feel this poor boy shivering?" haechan sighed, eyes never leaving the corridor that led to the bathroom.

"i can, and i also can feel your dick. please get dressed, or you're sleeping on the floor," you mumble, pulling the sheets to cover your freezing body.

[day 31]

your face hits something soft, cuddling into it even further because of its warmth before you realise there was only one other thing that would be warm in the room.

haechan.

your breath shakes, and your eyes widen as you pull yourself away from his embrace. your subtle movement leaves him thrashing around, though, and his arms tighten around your figure slowly and endearingly.

gulping, you will your hands to stay in their place, opting to freeze to death although there are hints of heat crawling onto your face.

when you wake up, you find that his hand's in yours and maybe you were searching for one wrong thing. an anomaly, an exception. it fit in yours perfectly, however, his tanned skin glowing lightly under the rays of sun filtering through the curtains.

you hoped he didn't realise the small shift of your fingers as they enclosed around his hand.

[day 32]

"what are you doing out here?" haechan asked quietly, peeking around the sliding door before joining you on the chilly balcony. it wasn't much, but it was still different and refreshing from the old, stagnant aircon air that was blowing in the hotel room.

"can't sleep," you whisper. you had your arms around your figure cautiously, as if it could protect you from all the bad, evil and terror in the world. at this point, you weren't sure what was it that you were feeling, but it sure didn't involve entertaining haechan's teasing.

luckily, he bit his tongue from making the usual snarky remarks.

"it's two in the morning, what's up?"

you shake your head in reply, watching the empty streets as the last light in the apartment across you switches off. sure, at two in the morning, pavements were dusty clean, and the birds were sleeping, but there would always be younger boys smoking along the road, or a drunken group of friends laughing about a past memory.

now that the pandemic forced everyone into their homes, everything was pretty much dead. there wasn't that excitement you felt when you saw a late-night kiss shared between two lovers or the snug hug of a child to his father who was working overtime that day.

"nothing's up, hyuck, it's fine. you can get back to sleep if you want."

maybe today you two were the one causing the ruckus this time, though. haechan may have let his words slipped, and at that moment, you knew you regretted that bloom in your chest when his lips met yours.

"you're so hard to read, (y/n). i want you to be able to trust me, tell me what's going on."

"why do you wanna know anyway? so you can expose me of my bad habits and weak points?" you whisper, eyes trained on the flickering lamppost a few yards away.

"there you go again! again with the sabotage?" haechan scoffed, exiting the small space and stepping back into the room of mixed emotions.

"is this just about your feelings for me?"

haechan laughed, "my feelings? might i remind you that you were the one who kissed me full on the lips twelve days ago? what was that all about? i wanna talk about it, even though we said we wouldn't! i wanna talk about why you hate me so much. i wanna talk about why your emotions are so contradictive!"

your mouth hangs open as you sputter out a heated reply, but instead gets interrupted with a knock on the door.

"keep quiet, you damn teenagers! i don't need your petty fights at two in the morning!" with padded feet, the guest returns to his room and slams the door to emphasise his complaint. swallowing, your mind goes blank as it focuses only on one question.

"why do you want to know so much lee haechan? what are you gaining out of this? if it's not sabotaging, then what is it?!" you whisper, standing your ground as with the first argument.

your throat is clenched up, and your fists are balled up tightly with nails digging into your palm. your heartbeat races like a fast car and your breathing's laboured in the cold room. there's no movement for a second, though they feel like minutes on end as haechan struggles to answer your question.

"what is it, lee donghyuck?" you cry out again, the sparkle in your eyes shining brightly from the tears of your never-ending dispute. he wished it was from the moonlight, instead. he wished the two of you were laughing over the rim of wine glasses and sharing the mischievous glimmer of the moon in your eyes.

"it's nothing. don't mind it." the other turns to catch up on sleep, leaving you to bite your lip.

"now you're doing it, now you're the one doing it. just tell me, you dumbass!" you mumble, pulling on his pyjama sleeve and tugging you to him.

"i like you, okay! it's out there now, i like you a lot, but you make it feel like a crime to do it," haechan whispers, "whatever. fuck this."

"no- what- no, we'll talk this out." you propose, adjusting your grip on his wrist with the curl of your fingers.

the male shakes his head and snatches his arm back, "no, forget it, and i'd prefer if you left me alone, (y/n)."

even with the warmth of his body next to yours, your body felt frozen and stiff. even with the thick duvet cover over you, you felt out of place in the stale hotel room, with colour becoming black and white, they merge into grey as the moonlight shone without a care for your problems.

there's action on the balcony when your eyes flutter open in the morning, noticing the quiet way haechan observes those rushing to work as well as social distancing officers making their rounds.

his eyes look hopeful and youthful, different from the tired ones the night before, or rather, this morning. you hadn't forgotten the angry neighbour banging on the door, and you definitely hadn't forgotten about how much you've wounded haechan this morning.

with a soft knock, you let him know of your presence and you just miss the way his eyes soften at your bed hair and messy appearance. his gaze turns hard in a second as he turns back to the apartment across yours, the balcony door showing your reflection of how hesitant you were.

haechan wished he could take your hands in his and accept your apology in a heartbeat, but he stayed seated and waited for whatever you wanted to say.

"don't run off, please." there's a shameful hand on his shoulders, and he's dying to get up when he sees your downcast eyes in the reflection across the street.

"i was too caught up in getting department head that i... didn't consider other possibilities. even the possibility of you uhm... liking me. it's still a weird concept to me, especially with how much we bicker."

"i'm sorry i didn't stay to hear out your feelings and rather, i just talked over you instead. i'm not sure if you want to accept this or not, but i want to open up—about this, about your feelings and... i don't know how much i've masked my emotions, i just know that we need to communicate."

the doorbell interrupts your apology, but you internally thank the housekeeping for bringing breakfast for the two of you.

with silence over breakfast, you weren't sure how the other felt as he scoffed down the croissant and almost burned his tongue with the coffee he ordered.

[day 33]

the boy barely watches the television and instead, reads over the article you were working on. seeing as it was already there when he logged on, he skimmed through it out of curiosity, finding that you were rephrasing the messy typos and sentences frantically on your notes.

haechan never forgot the way you were typing away on the laptop, eyes reading and rereading the sentences to make sure they made sense, to make sure they were clear to the reader.

the argument had taken a toll on you, too. he sees it in the way your eyes sink when your words turn out choppy and lacking, he sees it in the way you lug your body to the bathroom after a late night, he sees it in the way you struggle to hold your smile while attending an interview.

'haechan. you confuse me. i'm not...' the note below it trails off, piquing his curiosity at what it had in store.

'haechan.' big and bold letters it wrote, with a few dozen question marks below it. your writing skills shine through even in an informal note about your self-proclaimed rival, each line prompting the other to read more.

'you confuse me. i'm not sure what you're at but, it doesn't seem natural for you to tag along with someone you hate, right? that's what i was thinking too.'

'jeez, i remember hating when suyeon told me you were coming along. i didn't believe her one bit until she showed me your plane ticket and the hotel rooms next to each other. god, and when i came here, it was a day of interviewing before the damn government decided to close flights and force us into a room together.'

'i heard that other people had to be separated. i didn't know why we were the unlucky two that had to be put in a room together. i wished we didn't, almost. of course, you annoyed me when we first moved in. hogging the tv to no end, leaving your dirty underwear everywhere, running your mouth just like at our workplace.'

'i couldn't take it, maybe. sure, my brother has similar antics, but there was just something about you that just set me off, you know? i wouldn't have thought it was the opposite, or at least, i think so.'

'i'm counting the days. day 17 and i'm not sure why i feel this bubbling feeling inside me. of course, there's anger—i'm sure it's there, but there's also this other thing i get whenever i look at you.'

'my heart clenches up, and my hands become clammy, but it couldn't be a crush, right? i would've wasted my breath shouting, and my strength whacking your shoulder.' that makes haechan chuckle and look over at you where the soft light dances over your face.

'and then i started imagining. how would your arms wrap around me? how would your infuriating laughter, which somehow turned out to be so contagious, feel in the crook of my neck? yikes, that was cheesy.'

'what would it feel like if we fell in love for one night? where would you bring me and what would we eat? would we make out in your car like unruly teenagers?'

'what would it be like to love you? it's dumb, isn't it? i don't know. i've liked this bickering thing we had going on, and it's amusing to see you one-up me. i'm not sure if i want that to change and i'm not sure if you want us to, either.'

'maybe i'm wrong, and i'm the only one in this thing. this is so stupid, writing while he's sitting next to me. i'll regret this, maybe. goodnight.'

haechan sighs, closing the device in thought, confused at the words he wasn't exactly supposed to read. had you done this on purpose? he was sharing the laptop with you...

the boy brushed it off, placing the laptop on the vanity before adjusting your side of the duvet, hoping he could find the right words. with hesitant steps, he keeps to his side of the bed, thinking, thinking, thinking.

when he couldn't no more, haechan fell into the spell of slumber in the comfortable hotel room.

[day 34]

"tea?" he asks from the bathroom as the door clicks behind you, returning from the short hotel walk with a new keychain hanging from your sling bag.

"yeah sure, thanks."

the water runs as he fills up the kettle as the constant whir of the aircon and the conversation on the television keeps you company in the vast quietness of the room.

you weren't sure if you should say anything, but when you saw the dishevelled appearance of your roommate, you knew you had to bring up the argument and apology.

"haechan, about our... feelings. do you want to talk about them?" you whispered, a reply reaching your ears in the form of his spoon against the porcelain mug.

haechan hands you the drink wordlessly, sitting on the chair at the vanity before sipping cautiously at the tea. there are unexchanged glances between the two of you before he sighs at your expectant hand tapping the sheets.

"i think it's about time we did," he mumbled, dragging the laptop off the wooden table with anxiety. the other opened it without saying anything, catching you by surprise when the mouse hovers over your note.

"hae- donghyuck! no! what the hell?"

he holds up a hand and clicks on it anyway, making your heart drop to your stomach as he turned the device towards you.

"read the bottom." haechan whispers as you pull the laptop closer to you, settling it on your lap as he observed your expressions carefully.

'i read it, i'm sorry.' you look at him and lift up a hand to prepare to whack him, a defeated sigh escaping you before you carried on.

'was it wrong to read it? of course, and i cannot apologise more for doing shit like that when we still have unsolved tension between us in this small ass room. it was incorrect, but.'

'do you feel the same as me? is bickering all we have to do? why can't we work anything out? they're the questions i keep asking myself after i read your letter.'

'i guess i was too caught up in the fight and not wanting to be the loser that i... can't deny that i've never thought about wanting to get to know you, even if you were that sought out to be my destined enemy.'

'when we fought earlier, you kissed me. i know we said not to mention it, but, uhm, it was good. i liked it. i'm not sure if the reason why you did it was because of the reason you mentioned in the note, but at the time, i assumed it was to shut me up. i thought something would happen after, though you pushed me away and apologised right away.'

'it was a far off dream that i had, but i think it was after i bandaged your foot. you said that you didn't know what was going on in my mind, and i told you.'

'it was like, i was granted an insight into an alternate world, another universe where you didn't feel the strain, where you legitimately assumed i was going for your position.'

'you scoffed when i confessed, right then and there, on day 9. i was counting, too, and it was a scary, confusing dream. i think that's why i held it off as long as i could until your words puzzled and angered me further because you just didn't get it.'

'you scoffed and told me to get lost, pushing on my shoulders where we fought on the balcony for everyone to see. you never spoke to me, you never mentioned my article nor the interviews. we never joked over wine, and we always kept to our side of the bed.'

'i was convinced that heaven wanted me to stay away from you and your heart. maybe it was broken too many times, and you had someone up there looking out for you.'

'i feel like i'm copying off the textbook of some greek mythology starter pack, but i'm for real! no kidding.' you smiled, looking at him with nervous eyes at the small joke he put in.

'i guess whoever put that dream in my sleep really wanted us not to be together because i think i would've told you i liked you on the spot itself. i let my conscious get the best of me.'

'i know this is a lazy way of conveying my feelings, and i wished i could do it with words, but i feel like you wouldn't believe me otherwise. i rushed it this morning when you went on your morning walk around the hotel and when you let me know of your stroll in a soft voice, i wanted nothing more than to get you in my arms as we wake up to the housekeeping service.'

'i didn't want any more tension between us, and i didn't want to be interrupted by your alarm while we avoid each other more. it hurts seeing you escape the room in haste. you said it was weird for me to tag along with someone i hate, too, and that someone was you. i guess you found out why.'

looking up, you found him right in front of you, mouth dry from his reply to your letter. with a gulp, you leaned forward to meet his lips halfway.

"i'm sorry to whoever's up there," he whispers, prompting a grin and a laugh out of you.

the laptop is forgotten on the bed as haechan situates himself over you, clutching your shoulder gently while his lips move quickly, fast to make up for lost time.

"wait wait, wait, you're not playing me, are you?" you mumble in return, reluctantly pulling away while witnessing the way his eyes soften at your guard still up. haechan shakes his head forlornly, tongue pressing up against the side of his mouth nervously.

"no, i'm not, (y/n)," he says quietly with as much sincerity he can muster, removing his hand from your shoulder with a forced smile.

"okay." there's a shakiness to your voice, but when you bring his lips back to yours, it gives you a rush of confidence. your skin is burning up, and your hands can't stop wandering as his lips capture yours, repeatedly moving against yours like a trance.

you grant haechan access to your mouth with a whimper, melting into his embrace as his arms wrap tighter around your figure. his eagerness lingers when he pushes forward, straddling your lap as his leg nudges the laptop.

"wait, hyuck, wait, the laptop!" you joke, placing the device on the floor before getting back into the kiss with just as much fervour. within a minute or so, the other breaks away to say the words you so hated to hear:

"we... we need to talk. we can't just kiss the fight off, although i very much like to," haechan murmurs the last part, making you stifle a smile.

you nod quickly, repeating the word "okay" like a robot. your hands naturally travel from his arms down to his fingers, and you clutch them like your life depended on it.

"we have... established, that i like you, correct?" haechan whispers, scooting closer as his tea-ridden breath surrounds you. from here, you could even smell the buttered croissant he ate this morning.

it made you smile, something simple as that.

"why- why are you laughing (y/n)?" he asks anxiously, eyes darting to find the reason why you found this so funny.

"no. no no no, i'm thinking of... the croissant you ate just now, and," you sigh, resting your head on his broad shoulder.

"i'm thinking of the way your eyes light up when you show me the articles you idolise so much, and i'm thinking of the way you cuddle up to me whenever we watch stranger things."

"i'm thinking of the way you thought i wouldn't give you a chance, even though i've been pondering on the same thing as you. i'm thinking of the things that make up lee haechan, lee donghyuck. yes, you like me, and yes i like you, but i guess i haven't told you the reason."

"i hated you, i really did. i found every reason to convince my mind to hate you. gaining trust, signing up for events you didn't know shit about, sucking up to the seniors, stealing my friends when they didn't know your personality. the personality i didn't even want to know because i was too busy in my little bubble."

"assuming you'd want to get department head was the cherry on top, because why else would you want to tag along? that was the factor that convinced me and confirmed my suspicions from day one."

you grunt in opposition, clearly not liking the truth that was spilling from your lips. haechan deserved to know, however. you kept your eyes trained on his lap where his hands were holding yours in support, crumbling from the blindness that caused your hatred.

"so from then, the plane ride, immigration, the cab to the interview place, the cab back, the hotel room, my hatred for you boiled over." you listed, voice breaking as you looked haechan in the eye.

"it was stupid of me to assume, to assume the worst of you when i didn't even know you. i wasn't even sure why i felt so bitter looking at you, but the way you acted, the way you whined, worked me up so much that i figured that was how you were."

"now when i'm sitting here with the curtains drawn, i can see why you're so attractable and easy to talk to and easy-going and bright that my friends keep talking to you."

"i can see why the seniors turn to you because you're reliable and hardworking without uttering a single word."

"i can see why you wanted to hop on this flight with me because you're always curious about the world and how you can expand your skill set."

and as you said word after word, haechan observes you with a soothing hand against your forearms. his eyes shine for a different reason, for the lost time he could've had if the two of you didn't have this massive barrier. a massive barrier that's been up for the longest time.

brick by brick, the wall is being torn down. as you hold haechan's face in the stillness of the room, you feel closer to him than you've ever felt and his tears match your frustrated ones.

choking on sobs, delayed apologies were all you could whisper.

"i'm sorry, i'm sorry, really. we fought so bad that day, and i was so goddamn insensitive..." you sigh, swallowing a lump when his hand reached up to wipe the tears. with a blocked nose, you breathe shakily as housekeeping interrupts the moment.

you nod towards the door as he stood up slowly to reveal the same housekeeping girl. she cleaned up the bathroom and wardrobe quietly as the two of you stood awkwardly in the small space. she had left the sheets since everyone was practically stuck in, anyway.

haechan nudges you toward the door with a shove, shooting the same housekeeping girl a small smile and a bow as an apology to the previous run-in.

"he confessed his feelings?" she inquired softly, noticing the tear marks on your face.

you bit your lip, "yeah."

"that's good, he's finally not a coward." she laughs, folding the used towels and placing them with her.

you leaned against the door, asking for an explanation with your puzzled look.

"he was someone i liked, before. we had classes back in high school. it was just a dumb crush, honestly." the housekeeping girl shrugs, resting her head on her fist in thought.

"i think he liked me, and i did too, but we didn't do much except for exchange looks and flirt because both of us were just too scared." she shakes her head and adjusts the disinfectant spray bottle, fidgeting with the nozzle.

"i'm glad he had enough courage to admit his feelings."

nodding along to her statement, she bids you farewell as her figure fades with each step, leaving you with a sense of calmness to the end of this situation.

[day 38]

"is... is this okay?" haechan asks, arm hovering over your body while waiting for your confirmation. you smile and nod, sinking into his side as you venture in the third season of stranger things together.

"don't you think we should be working on our articles?" you whisper, looking up at him from where you were with raised eyebrows.

the boy opens and closes his mouth in thought, gesturing to the television with an exaggerated expression.

"stranger things, ma'am."

you click your tongue and sigh with a smile, turning back to the show as you try to relax for an online interview in a few hours.

[day 39]

"what do you say about my set-up?" haechan nudges you, proud of the hangout area he prepared on the balcony. although small, he had no trouble making it look comfortable.

with a smile, you pop open the wine to celebrate the last scheduled interview for the trip, clinking glasses with haechan in the setting sun.

the country you were supposed to return to was slowly opening up flights for those stranded overseas and as refreshing as a different environment was, you missed home and the warmness of it.

you missed the office and your desk. hell, you even missed the mediocre coffee from the pantry.

with the last of the wine finishing, haechan pours half into your glass and the other into his, clinking one last time before you one-shot the beverage.

the high of the alcohol is gradually brought down by the mellow atmosphere and colours of twilight. as pink and orange cross over on the horizon, haechan mumbles a low "c'mere" to you in the darkness.

you hum in response and get up from your seat, bringing a pillow with you as haechan shifts to make space. sinking naturally into his arms, you sigh while you try to contain a smile full of content.

"this is nice," you admit, the corners of your lips disobeying your command, prompting you to shoot him a smile. haechan nods against your hair, a comfortable arm around your waist while you trace the tan skin of his arm.

the other taps your waist repeatedly, turning in response as he whispers out a question that makes your heart melt.

"can i kiss you?" you grin, slipping a hand around his neck and pulling him in right away. haechan's caught by surprise, laughing into your lips and striving to savour the moment as much as he could.

a shout from across the hotel distracts you from the kiss. looking up, you realise it was the apartment resident opposite you shooting you a 'rock on' gesture.

"you guys are not fighting anymore! congrats!" you both stifle a snort as you wave back to the resident, sighing in relief when their balcony door slides shut.

"should we go inside, m'lady?" haechan giggles, replying in the form of a nod, cleaning up the area while you head in.

[day 41]

"i didn't think they'd be letting flights in so early," you mumble, folding your clothes neatly as your vision shifts to haechan... shoving his fair share of apparel into his luggage.

"donghyuck... what the hell?" you roll your eyes, shoving the boy softly as you took over the task at hand. switching personalities almost immediately, haechan fakes an interview segment with exaggerated tones.

"see, everyone, this is how you convince someone to do the work for you," the boy lays on the bed with a satisfied expression, "now i don't have to do anyth- ow!"

"if we ever live together, maybe i should punish you by doing the laundry and then folding it," you grunt, working at the speed faster than you expected while you fold shirt after shirt.

"are you proposing we move in together?" haechan peeks through an open eye, curiosity dripping from his tone. he tried to feign nonchalance but awaiting your answer felt like a weight on his heart.

your next words lifted that weight, a seemingly invisible force bringing his upper body off the bed as he stares at you in shock.

"maybe, not now but... in the future, maybe," you mumble the last part, focusing on the clothes to prevent the male from seeing the fluster on your face.

"for real?" haechan sits up, biting his lip to contain his excitement as your confirmation.

"we'll be all stupidly domestic and shit, and i'll say i love you five years from now before you go off for work if you want that and stuff," your voice goes lower and quieter, especially towards the end, biting off way more than you could chew.

"aw! i love you too!" haechan gushes, bringing you into an embrace as your hands go limp, scrambling to explain your emphasis on the 'future'.

"d-donghyuck, i meant the future, not now..." you manage to spit out, hoping you need not answer his queries any more. your mind blanks out at the current situation, wishing you hadn't said those dumb things.

he grins into your neck, "i know, i'm just answering for future me."

you groan and escape the hug with a roll of your eyes, "yuck, too cheesy!" the boy just lets out a laugh, watching the way you fold his clothes despite your initial annoyance.

[day 42]

suyeon switches between the two of you in disbelief, finger crooked at the ambiguity of "we like each other".

"wha-" suyeon doesn't get the chance to finish the sentence before you shoot her a thumbs up, grabbing haechan by the arm and your stuff with the other.

you were happy to leave the office after a quick debrief since you two had reported to the office right after arriving at the airport, relieved when you heard he'd spare a few more days for your articles to be cleaned up.

"so, (y/n), what would you like to do now?" haechan looks at you through the reflective material of the elevator, observing the nervous wringing of your fingers.

you're glad for the material protecting your face because there's a smile that you struggle to keep as his soft, gentle voice carries through the quiet space.

the anxiety ends when the lift sounds, prompting your eyes to trail down his arm. your hand moves on its own accord, grabbing his last finger with yours as you proceed into the lift sheepishly, not missing the way haechan's eyes show his bright smile behind the mask.

"maybe i'll get to know you more, lee donghyuck."

haechan lets out a gasp, "have you not learned about me enough? scandalous."

you feign a punch in his direction, the luggage beside you tripping over its wheels due to your swift movement. the only response you get is a giggle from the other as he tightens his pinky around yours, pressing a soft kiss to your cheek right above your face mask just as the elevator doors open.

"man, i really do want to punch you now," you mutter as you let haechan lead you, wanting nothing more than to rest in the arms of your enemy-turned-friend? enemy-turned-someoneyoulike?

you weren’t exactly sure.

he doesn't answer during the walk to the main road, nor the ride back to your home, the only constant thing being the way he admires your profile in the taxi, shrugging when you counter with a playful "what?".

"nothing," haechan grins.

[there are more days to come]

sure, day forty-one may not have been the day you fell in love with haechan, nor the day where he outwardly claims you as his lover.

but, taking it slow never hurt anyone, either.

you know it in the way he tells you he can't go in unless he's invited and you see it in the way he asks if he can switch the television on while you prepare some drinks.

like the hotel, you know it in the way he asks if he can kiss you and the way he deepens his kisses with caution.

you appreciate it in the way he quickly apologises for a personal question, while visibly relaxing as you brush it off with a smile.

with hours pass, day forty-two becomes day forty-three, and haechan remains as chivalrous as always.

days pass, and you submit your articles. weeks pass, and you get to know the boy more and more. months pass, and you feel his love in the way he plays with your fingers in the dark and pulls you close under the sheets.

even if you hadn't acknowledged the love between the two of you, that note you wrote half-drunk matched the way you felt now—with how your heart clenches up and with how your grin never leaves your face with haechan around.

there are more days to come with lee haechan, lee donghyuck, even if it meant getting stuck together in a hotel room with unsaid words.

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amy-issen · 3 years

Audio

ok so here it is!! i spent the last week solely making and listening to this playlist like i was POSSESED because this ship is lovely and deserved a nice playlist! if anyone wants to know why i picked each song, i’m going to ramble about it extensively in the read more, so check that out if you want! hope you enjoy it! also thanks again to @birbwell for letting me use her art for the cover!

i divided this playlist in a few sections so let’s start with the first one (section one: first meeting/pining) i. in the rain - joe hisaishi i wanted to start with a short instrumental track to set the mood, and i looooove howl’s moving castle score, so i had to pick this one! the fact that it has rain in the title also helps to reference how their relationship began! ii. with every breath i take - frank sinatra “every breath that I take is a prayer that i’ll make you mine” my sister is a big sinatra/jazz fan (and also a yakuza fan) so she helped me with picking a few of the songs here! this one is very romantic, elegant and beautiful and i thought it fit the mood (and it’s what i think tachibana listens to in his free time lmao).

iii. gold rush - taylor swift “what must it be like to grow up that beautiful? with your hair falling into place like dominoes my mind turns your life into folklore i can't dare to dream about you anymore” this one is my FAVORITE song on this playlist, and one of the first i picked because this song just fits them like a glove. it’s basically pining 101, and i love that what taylor said this song is about “daydreaming about someone then snapping out of it.” i feel like the first part could be from tachibana’s perspective and the second one from kiryu’s (also giving a bit of a glimpse into the future, with the mention of a coastal town they’ll never find together) iv. first love/late spring - mitski “so please, hurry, leave me, i can't breathe please don't say you love me mune ga hachikire-sōde (my heart seems like it’s going to burst)” this one was another song i picked very early on because i love mitski, and i needed to include her here. i just wanted something to symbolize the trust that tachibana and kiryu have to share to work together, and the feelings that emerge from it, if that makes any sense. i don’t think this has a specific perspective, because i feel like this could work from both kiryu’s and tachibana’s (mostly kiryu though) v. real estate - adam melchor “every time I wonder how i'd carry on without you i'm runnin' out of real estate tryna make all the right moves i don't wanna hesitate i would bet the house on you “ do you UNDERSTAND how satisfying it was to find a song named real estate for them?? come ooon. ok that’s not all of my reasoning for it but it’s like. most of it, lmao another song i felt was about trust and feelings. (also a bit of a glimpse into the future, because i’m sad) vi. i get a kick out of you - ella fitzgerald “i get no kick from champagne mere alcohol doesn't thrill me at all so tell me why should it be true that i get a kick out of you?” another one my sister recommended. i originally was gonna go with sinatra’s version of this, but i love this one and it just wouldn’t leave my brain. again, one from mostly tachibana’s perspective, get this man to sing this on karaoke night right now. vii. like real people do - hozier “i will not ask you where you came from i would not ask and neither would you honey, just put your sweet lips on my lips we could just kiss like real people do” this is one of my all time favorites from hozier and, again, it just fit perfectly. tachibana and kiryu have both lived some very... troubled lives so far, and while they’re depending on this trust they have in eachother, none of them really care to know about what they’ve done or who they are. this is mostly from kiryu’s perspective, specially with this metaphor of being rescued/dug up from the earth with the whole being found in the rain and saved by tachibana and his poor driving skills. viii. delicate - taylor swift “this ain't for the best my reputation's never been worse, so you must like me for me... we can't make any promises now, can we, babe? but you can make me a drink” y’all are going to have to forgive me for picking TWO taylor swift songs but COME OOOON this is another one that i picked early on because i could draw so many parallels between the lyrics and things that they both said in that car scene on chapter 9 (mostly tachibana though) and i kept harassing my sister with screenshots to prove my point and i’m gonna do it again

ANYWAYS i’ve made my case, and now we enter the second section of the playlist at last ( section 2: actual romantic/fluffy songs because this is a ship playlist) i. good old-fashioned lover boy - queen “dining at the ritz we'll meet at nine (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9 o'clock) precisely i will pay the bill, you taste the wine driving back in style in my saloon will do quite nicely just take me back to yours that will be fine” is this a bit of a cliché? yes. did i want to include it because it’s very cute and i’d like to imagine kiryu and tachibana having a nice date night with no people trying to kill them all the time? also yes. i love this song.

ii. stay with me/mayonaka no door - miki matsuraba “you in your gray jacket with that oh-so-familiar coffee stain just as you always are the two of us reflect in the window display stay with me knocking on midnight's door i beg you not to go home tonight” (translated lyrics) is anyone not obsessed with this song lately? this is the only song here i’m blaming tiktok for making me listen to it lol. in any way, this song is deceptive because it sounds really happy but is actually quite melancholic. i thought it fit their relationship well, and it seemed like a good addition to the playlist with it’s 80′s city pop vibes.

iii. on melancholy hill - gorillaz (covered by matt forbes) “just looking out on the day of another dream where you can't get what you want, but you can get me so let's set out to sea, love 'cause you are my medicine when you're close to me" this is a gorillaz song but i went with this cover because it fit the feeling of the playlist a little better. another song that i just love very deeply and i thought fit the sentiment of kiryu being like “hey i know we have Big problems and you’re very sad in the moment but i’m here for you” iv. (i love you) for sentimental reasons - nat king cole "i think of you every morning dream of you every night darling, i'm never lonely whenever you are in sight" surprisingly, not one that my sister recommended, but one i found for myself while looking for quiet romantic songs. i feel like this is tachibana's reply to kiryu being there for him and helping him. plus, idk i just wanted to imagine them slow dancing to this. v. positions - ariana grande (covered by travis atreo) "perfect, perfect you're too good to be true but I get tired of runnin', fuck it now, i’m runnin' with you" i picked this cover because i felt like using ariana's one would be a little goofy for this section lmao, but i really like this song and how it's about commitment and doing everything to make a relationship work. i just wanted to throw some sexy vibes before this playlist delved into depressing stuff. also if you telling me tachibana wouldn't absolute body a tiktok set to this song you're lying to yourself. (section 3: oh no this is getting sad) i. forever - labrinth "i'll live forever" i love everything labrinth makes, the euphoria soundtrack lives in my mind rent free and this is my favorite one. this barely has any lyrics so, again, mostly a track i picked for its intrumentals and feeling overall. mostly preparing you for the sad stuff ahead. ii. hong kong - gorillaz "you swallow me i'm a pill on your tongue here on the nineteenth floor the neon lights make me calm" this is my favorite gorillaz song, by FAR, and i think it's introspective vibe really fits tachibana's character. not really a song about relationship but i really wanted to include it because it's just such a GORGEOUS song. iii. fragments - severon another instrumental track! this one i stole from a playlist my sister made for a fic i wrote last year. again. sad vibes. iv. sign of the times - harry styles (covered by LANY) "remember everything will be alright we can meet again somewhere somewhere far away from here" i loved the synth-y vibe this cover had, while still keeping this song's sad "our lives are dangerous and i'm about to die" vibes. i mostly wanted to evoke the vibe from the scene where tachibana agrees to go with lao gui after kiryu gets shot. just really sad all around. v. so close - jon mclaughlin "we're so close to reaching that famous happy end almost believing this one's not pretend let's go on dreaming though we know we are so close, so close, and still so far" me? picking a song from disney's enchanted??? for a playlist??? it's more likely than you think. idk this song just gives me that vibe of being so close to being happy and together, almost reminiscing and wondering what could have been. but it just... won't happen. vi. as the world caves in - matt maltese "yes, it's you i welcome death with as the world, as the world caves in" oops, yes, i had to go there. just couldn't resist including this song, and i feel like it's really self-explanatory. vii. places we won't walk - bruno major "neon lights shine bold and bright buildings grow to dizzy heights people come alive at night in places we won't walk" again, i feel like this song speaks for itself. a bit of a meditation on kiryu's perspective on things that could have happened, things they would have done, that kiryu will just have to do alone from now on. viii. carry me out - mitski "i drive when it rains at night, when it rains, i drive and the headlight spirits they lead me down the styx so black it shines and carry me out carry me out"

possibly the saddest and the most powerful song in this playlist, because i just had to put a mitski song again. the image of kiryu carrying tachibana's body is just constantly in my mind when i listen to this, but i could also see this song being from the perspective of tachibana's spirit. ix. arms tonite - mother mother "i died in your arms tonight i slipped through into the afterlife it was nice" lmao this felt a bit like a cruel joke to include, but i didn't want this playlist to end TOO depressingly. it's a nod to tachibana dying in kiryu's arms, sure, but also it's romantic and possibly a little hopeful (tachibana lives au!!! orpheus and eurydice au!!! fuck it, idk!!) xi. everybody wants to rule the world - tears for fears "there's a room where the light won't find you holding hands while the walls come tumbling down when they do, i'll be right behind you so glad we've almost made it so sad they had to fade it everybody wants to rule the world" not a recommendation from my sister, but it is her favorite song, and she was happy that i included it. another 80's bop with sad lyrics! i feel like this is a lovely summary of their story together and it feels like a nice little bow to wrap up the playlist. i hope you enjoyed my long ass explanations! i might add songs later (or make an entire second playlist altogether for the fic i'm writing rn, but let's not get ahead of ourselves)

#tachikiryu #yakuza #ryu ga gotoku #kazuma kiryu #tetsu tachibana #playlist #audio #THIS IS SUCH A LONG POST I CAN'T BELIEVE I WROTE ALL THIS ARRRRGH #praying this shows up in the tags lmao

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aion-rsa · 3 years

Text

My Universe: BTS & Coldplay’s Sci-Fi Music Video Explained

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BTS and Coldplay went fully, gloriously sci-fi in the music video for their collaboration, “My Universe.” In the new music video, released at midnight on September 30th, the two bands exist in a futuristic reality where music is forbidden. In spite of the ban, and with the help of a space DJ, the groups come together for a high-energy, galaxy-spanning performance of their new song.

The “My Universe” music video/short film is directed by Dave Meyers, an American filmmaker best known for his commercials and music videos, which include MVs for artists Drake, Ed Sheeran, Pink, Normani, Ariana Grande, and many, many more. High-concept, genre-driven music videos are par for the course in the visually immersive world of K-pop, but are less common in western music videos, which (save for some outliers, like Janelle Monae’s funky, political sci-fi adventures) have more “grounded,” realistic aesthetics, even when they skew fantastical. A great example of the latter is Harry Styles’ “Adore You” video. Also directed by Meyers—it has a speculative fiction premise in which Styles has a literally blinding smile, falls in love with a fish, and is able to power his sailboat using the winds of his jarred yells, but keeps its visuals down to Earth to tell its fairy tale-like story.

“My Universe,” on the other hand, embraces the science fiction aesthetics of working class space operas like Space Sweepers or Guardians of the Galaxy, with some (and I mean this as a compliment) Zenon: Girl of the 21st Century thrown in for good measure.

Rebellion is a popular theme in the space opera subgenre, and it’s one that “My Universe” embraces. The video is set in an intergalactic future in a place known where all music is banned. Three different bands—BTS, Coldplay, and a fictional alien supergroup called Supernova7—who live on three different plans defy the ban to create music together via hologram. They are hunted by The Silencers, who enforce the no-music status quo.

Most importantly, the music video doesn’t prioritize either Coldplay or BTS’ worlds. While we may visit Coldplay’s dry, graffitied planet first, where we first meet BTS in their holographic forms, we also go to BTS’ industrial-dystopia home, where Coldplay visits as holograms. The music video’s best moment, in fact, comes when we follow a flickering, holographic V from Coldplay’s planet back to his own, where he—and, with him, the six other members—bloom into more tangible form.

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The design and CGI for the video is impressive and varied, though a little too busy to fully appreciate the stunning outer space visuals, Tron-esque spaceships interiors, and alien planet-scapes. The video includes visual callbacks to the official lyric video for “My Universe,” which is beautifully designed to feature the multi-colored English and Korean-language lyrics zooming through space. The colors and premise are also reminiscent of the video serial that was part of BTS’ Muster Sowoozoo Concert in June. In the story, the seven members of BTS make their way across an alien landscape in a camper van, searching for a safe place to meet ARMY. While the Sowoozoo serial was much cozier and more chill than “My Universe” video, I’d love to hear some good head canon about how these videos exist in the same fictional universe.

What Does the “My Universe” Music Video Mean?

Both the “My Universe” song and music video have a pretty broad, easy-to-get-behind concept. The love song is about a relationship that transcends boundaries. Thematically, the idea of coming together across divisions or differences is particularly poignant when performed by bands from different sides of the planet. This is reinforced by the decision to include Korean-language lyrics in the collaboration. BTS has proven themselves more than capable of singing in English. Three of their latest hits—”Dynamite,” “Butter,” and “Permission to Dance”—are all sung fully in the English language by the Korean band. However, BTS and Coldplay chose to feature Korean-language elements as an integral part of the collaboration, emphasizing the multicultural nature of the song and its message.

The music video doubles down on the theme of people coming together despite distance and differences. In it, BTS and Coldplay (and, OK, alien supergroup Supernova 7) are excited to collaborate. Together, they make something beautiful and special that brings them joy despite the seemingly dismal worlds that surrounds them both. Here, the enemy is not difference, but a mysterious, totalitarian force that has banned all music. Personified by “The Silencers,” this antagonist can be broadly interpreted by the societal prejudices that can sometimes keep up apart, but also by a pandemic that has made the most basic rituals of togetherness more complicated. It doesn’t seem a coincidence that the fictional versions of BTS and Coldplay featured in this video are unable to be together in person. It’s a representation of the forced physical distance that has come to define much of the past few years. It’s why seeing the bands find a way, despite their harsh reality, to share a joyful experience so damn inspiring.

While the visuals of “My Universe” may be intentionally futuristic, the ability to play together across vast swathes of space is not. Just last week, Coldplay and BTS performed as part of the Global Citizen Live event. The bands were in two different countries—Coldplay in NYC, and BTS back home in Seoul—but came “together” on stage. The seven members of BTS were featured as holograms on a backdrop as Chris Martin sang both English and Korean-language parts of the song. (The Korean-language rap sections performed by Suga and J-Hope were pre-recorded.) Coldplay notably traveled to Korea to record “My Universe” during the pandemic.

“My Universe” Music Video Ending Explained

The breakout character from the “My Universe” music video is arguably DJ Lafrique, played by actress Joe Diao. DJ Lafrique is the character who is able to bring Coldplay and BTS together, across the universe. She is the most powerful figure featured in this story, and her rebellion comes at a high risk. At the end of the video, The Silencers find DJ Lafrique’s ship, which is making the intergalactic jam session possible. The Silencers’ power up their Death Star-like weapon in preparation to take out DJ Lafrique. However, BTS and Coldplay are able to buy her time by rocking out even more intensely (as you do); she powers up her hyperdrive and blips away before The Silencers can silence her forever.

The ending works for the video; it would be jarring to watch a music video featuring BTS that doesn’t end with a message of hope. The Korean band’s full name, Bangtan Sonyeondan, can be translated as “Bulletproof Boyscouts,” and the group has always seen it as one of their primary missions to act as a buffer between young people and the harsh stereotypes and pressures they face. While the group has always worked to be a balm in a harsh world, this has especially been the case since the outbreak of COVID, which has brought with it unprecedented mental health challenges. In the wake of the global crisis, BTS has worked to be a comfort to their global fandom, known as ARMY. When they released album “Be” in November 2020, member Jin said during the accompanying press conference: “Our goal with the music on ‘BE’ is that it can be a comfort to a lot of people … If many people can relate to it, I will be really thankful.”

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sawdustandgin · 3 years

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A Year of Happiness, Joy and Sarcasm: My 2020 in Review

Absolutely nothing needs to be said about the year of our lord 2020 that hasn’t already been shouted from every social media platform like a shrieking alarm alerting us that the ship is sinking. We know. We’re all wet.

I will not remember 2020 as mask-clad because I didn’t take any photos while wearing one.

Every December, I reflect on the year through a short essay, allowing myself many opportunities to gush about the music that I didn’t include on my best-of lists but that I still loved dearly. (Though I guess I skipped last year. I found an abandoned draft the other day…) And consistently, I have regarded each year as one of transition.

I don’t have clear career aspirations outside of wanting to engage with music as deeply and personally as I can; my only concrete life plan is to profile small towns across the country through the lens of its local music scene. So, with this nebulous image of a future endeavor, I have had a tumultuous time with money since losing my job two years ago. I realized fairly quickly, after only a few months of foundering at it, that I was unable to freelance my way to a liveable income. And in all honesty, this was for the best—nothing hurts worse than realizing the activity you are most passionate about has become a chore. I stopped worrying about pitching editors and trying to rub elbows, and I got to work applying for jobs. I, incredibly luckily, secured one after a few more months. The adjustment to being unemployed was a leap for me and my deep desire for a routine, but the adjustment to being employed and trying to maintain a balance between day job and side gig was even harder.

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Then I loosened up a bit. Toward the end of last year, I tried to make a vow to be more consistent with the blog, but instead, I prioritized sleep. At the time, I didn’t realize that it was an either/or scenario and probably would have made a greater effort to avoid my television if I had. But ultimately, I had to accept that my relationship with music journalism was on my terms. And regardless of how [in]frequently I ‘discovered’ new artists (for myself), I wasn’t ‘missing out’ on anything.

And let’s be real, I wasn’t overly eager to listen to new stuff starting around April. I put so much energy into not losing myself in quarantine that I tuckered myself out before shit really hit the ceiling. When I began thinking toward my year-end lists in November, I began to worry that this would be my most deflated best-of season in recent memory.

That’s ok, Zoë, no one really cares about top ten lists, I can hear you thinking, colored by a fascination with my determination. But as a double cancer and pisces moon, I like to cling to the art that moves my soul (read: ~nostalgia~). And so I take great joy in spending all of December and most of January repeatedly listening to my favorite music until I conjure a partially arbitrary ranking system and create playlists galore. It really is the best time of the year.

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Of course, there are always a few titles that need no additional spins, whether due to automatic disqualification or simply because I listened so much that I know it intimately. The automatic disqualifications this year were particularly striking.

A few easy omissions were Chromatica, Positions, and Fetch the Bolt Cutters. Lady Gaga delivered her skip-less album around the time when it became clear that the pandemic was not even somewhat close to containment; my roommate and I cooked to Chromatica every night, singing along to every word. With each new record, Ariana Grande becomes a more graceful songwriter, and it also helps that Positions is a plain ol', boot-knockin’ good time. And the raw power Fiona Apple wields in Fetch the Bolt Cutters would be frightening were she not the perfect vessel to deliver it to us.

Then there is the category of albums that simply didn’t need my (albeit dim) spotlight: Set My Heart on Fire Immediately, græ, and KicK i are each masterpieces in their own right. They each move purposefully through diverse landscapes, each song a new adventure not bound by genre or expectation. Interestingly, Perfume Genius and Moses Sumney were never mainstays in my music rotation, while my love for Arca is unquestioned.

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That leads us to Re-Animator, I’m Your Empress Of and The Mosaic of Transformation, all of which I actively feel bad for disqualifying. I’m too much of a fan of Everything Everything to impartially write about their new album, though it was one of my most frequently played. I have been writing best-of lists for six years now and I would prefer to write about a constantly expanding, diverse group of artists. That means I can’t keep doting on Empress Of, despite her status as one of our best contemporary artists. Me and Us were truly just prelude to her 2020 record, whose title is a formal introduction. Kaitlyn Aurelia Smith is also the most talented analog synth musician that I personally have ever engaged with, and her latest album is everything I could have wanted.

It took some self-control (aka strict time management) to not write a few thousand words about The Ascension. Let’s recall my massive thesis on Carrie & Lowell… Yes, I am a former Catholic who thrives in the ambiguous invocation of Scripture, especially from a songwriter who quite literally shaped my taste in music. Luckily, I’m not nearly as pent up with anger and existential dread as in 2015 when I was, for the first time, processing the physical and emotional distance from my family. This elongated emotional breakdown was spurred by drama between my parents, but was also due to an irrational fear I held about my own mother’s death. Listening to Sufjan Stevens forgive his mother on her figurative deathbed has stayed with me.

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The anxiety I felt about 2020 was almost entirely external, so the gorge formed from the current of The Ascension was not nearly as deep a canyon in my heart as C&L, though it is still an affecting 80-minute journey. Stevens’ production, when coupled with his lyricism, is a breakthrough, though I do hear murmurs of folktronica from earlier in the decade. (I’m begging everyone to listen to Under Our Beds by Consilience.) And for perhaps the first time, there were songs that I occasionally skip. If I still had to commute to work, I bet they would have grown on me. In fact, this would have been a perfect driving album—one that wouldn’t cause me to weep while on the interstate. (oh Carrie. oh Lowell.)

Then there was VOL.II by my dear friend Lauren Ruth Ward. She gave me an opportunity to write a unique interview with her about the record to be printed on the inside of the gatefold, making it a permanent fixture on this most exciting of sophomore albums. I could not justify writing anything more about it, if only to preserve the sanctity of that interview, which I gave more effort and attention than any other piece of writing I had done. It was a wonderful and inspiring experience that I hope to replicate. The most heartbreaking part of the pandemic’s onset, from a social perspective, was not being able to visit Lauren after the record was released.

With all that said, 2020 was about so much more than the music I listened to. All the digital replacements for physical intimacy during lockdown made me realize that my legacy (aka all my music writing) is fragile, locked into the impermanence of the internet. So I took it upon myself to build a physical archive; in the fall, I finalized a zine template, and the first eight issues are in the can. (So far, I have 19 zines planned. Email me if you are interested in having one!)

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I’ve also been living without a front tooth since mid-March. On one hand, it’s been convenient to wear a mask to hide the hole in my mouth, but on the other hand, all I want to do is bite into an apple. (For almost two years before I even knew I had to have my tooth removed, I had been forced to slice apples before being able to eat them. The abject humiliation.) The journey with my dentists and oral surgeon has been excruciating, to say the least. Who knew three people in the same medical practice could have such mightily different styles of care? [Author’s note: I got my crown after writing this essay! :grinning-emoji:]

In sum, it was my image of myself that I was able to see a bit clearer this year. Each year I think that I’ve figured something else out about myself, which had always led me to believe that I am a most-complex, divine being. But I think a more accurate interpretation is that, put simply, I am not static. My thoughts and emotions adapt to life and life doesn’t seem to stop throwing me around like sneakers in a tumbling dryer. My pronouns are now they/them and while I don’t have many specifics as to why, I just know that this feels right.

I hope your year was at least acceptable; 2021 promises a host of new challenges, but I think we can take ‘em.

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#year in review #best of #best of 2020 #music blog #music review #Lady Gaga #Ariana Grande #Fiona Apple #Perfume Genius #Moses Sumney #Arca #Everything Everything #Empress Of #Kaitlyn Aurelia Smith #Sufjan Stevens #Consilience #Lauren Ruth Ward #2020 #year in review 2020

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thesaltyoceanwaves · 5 years

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Bewitched Part 4 (FINALE)

Ao3

@lenoreofraven

Today’s Musical Number: Breathin by Ariana Grande

Bonus Number: True by Marina (formely Marina and the Diamonds) (this song isn’t an official number, but I would recommend it anyway.)

"You remind me of a time when things weren't so complicated. All I need is to see your face." - Breathin, Ariana Grande

The only time she pushes herself to the point of complete physical exhaustion is when she’s trying to get a scoop for the Ladyblog. And in the year or so she’s been running the blog, Alya has managed to score amazing scoops aplenty. Sure, she threw herself in physical peril from time to time, probably more than she should have. And if Nora were to ever know just how much, she would never let her leave the house. But she always took comfort in the fact that all of her hard work paid off and cultivated in a successful but factual blog about her city’s hero.

As if that wasn’t enough, Alya also managed to juggle her blog with an acceptably active social life. Her boyfriend was not only an incredibly talented DJ (in her incredibly bias view), but also the superhero Carapace. While she didn’t care for fashion or celebrity life, she did think it was pretty cool to be friendly with well-known model Adrien Agreste, son of a famous fashion designer. And then there was Marinette, her clumsy, overworked friend who was head over heels for Adrien. But despite her failings, Marinette always meant through and could always be relied on to come through in the end.

Life was laid out to be perfect for the budding journalist.

In the past couple of weeks, Alya completely blew it.

Somehow, during that time, Alya managed to get on Marinette’s bad side, leaving her cursed and almost all alone at the school.

The key word was almost. Anyone left in the building all shared the same red mark on the forehead as her. Everyone else had been familiarized and followed Marinette out to retrieve the miraculouses. In her state, she wanted to leave the building, find Ladybug and get her own miraculous to save her friend, but she had no idea where to even begin looking. The curse also made things more difficult, with the only relief she could take was knowing that it didn’t affect her thoughts. It was only when she spoke or attempted to make an important decision that it came into play.

So, that left her in the classroom, with only a couple of people to keep her company. Lila, still forced into telling the truth, and almost constantly choking over her words. Max, who caused electronics to explode any time he went near them, with Kim practically wailed at the sight of his 3DS short-circuiting. Speaking of whom, the athlete was cursed to move at the pace of a snail. Poor Rose was sobbing in the corner, about… well, who knew at this point. She would cry at the drop of a dime.

The other corners were preoccupied by Mylene and Ivan, in what had to be the saddest case of being cursed. They were no longer acting the lovey-dovey couple they were well-known for being. Any time they tried to talk to each other, they would fall into constant arguing, and had to be kept apart because of how much it upset Rose. To be fair, Alya had to bite back some of her own tears upon hearing them say how much they detested each other.

There were a few attempts she made at starting conversation, or doing something proactive. “The akuma must be in her phone. Or maybe a present she got from Adrien?” “This wouldn’t have happened if she just agreed to date Adrien.” “The reason for her akumatization must be jealousy.”

Not only did she get hard glares from almost everyone left in the class, but she could occasionally feel the curse mark burn and sting. After a while, she had to keep her theorizing to herself.

She began by going back in time to when Lila first returned back to school. Or maybe even before that, when she first came. When everyone was hyping her up as this cool rich girl that had all sorts of celebrities on speed dial, including Ladybug. Marinette had been the only one that didn’t seem to like her, but Alya knew that it was just her jealousy of Adrien that created that tension. Even after her akumatization and brief withdrawal from school though, Marinette didn’t let up on the girl. Just how jealous could she be?

Her forehead stung yet again, and she winced. It subsided a bit, but there was a still a warm glow as she meditated on the events of Hero’s Day. Replaying the scene in her head, she thought about Marinette’s insistent fact-checking of Lila’s stories. Alya didn’t think much of it at the time. She was rich and the daughter of a diplomat, why would she lie about those sort of things?

But then again, Chloe was rich and the daughter of the mayor, and Alya knew she lied from time to time. Just because Lila was nicer than Chloe, didn’t mean she was incapable of lying.

She bit her lip.

The curse mark emitted a gentle, warm glow, as if to indicate she was onto something. Lila lying and being allowed to get away with it… yeah, Marinette would be upset about that. She hates liars. But… is that enough to get her akumatized? Lila would have been lying for weeks at this point…

She refocused her attention to the way things panned out with Adrien. Surely, Marinette had to be upset because she waited too long after he confessed, and he ended up dating Lila, right?

The harsh warmth returned. She clutched her forehead.

But that’s impossible! If she doesn’t like Lila, and she loves Adrien… what could be the issue then?

Alya knew Marinette was utterly crushed when Adrien rejected her, especially since she hadn’t meant to confess her feelings; he only overheard her and Lila in a fierce conversation, and had to pull her aside to turn her down. So when he did come around (as Alya predicted), she was confused as to why Marinette would say no. And when she finally did get an explanation, Marinette was pretty vague about some of the details. She simply said, “There’s been a misunderstanding. Things aren’t so simple between us right now. I’m sorry, but I can’t really talk about it.”

She raised an eyebrow at this. “You’re just running away, aren’t you?”

Alya didn’t give up on it though. She didn’t want to employ the tactic, but she might have slipped an idea to Adrien about making her jealous. He was all too eager to go along with it, but not so eager to fake date Lila. Still, he did it to try and get Marinette to come back around. It might have worked too, if it wasn’t timed so close to when Marinette left for China with her family.

The mark began to sizzle and she cringed, pressing her palm against it.

Maybe Marinette wasn’t jealous of Lila, just upset with Adrien?

The sizzling ceased.

The stunt with Lila must have upset her because she knew what Adrien was doing. She told Alya she just wanted some space to figure things out for herself. And when Adrien didn’t listen, she didn’t take it too well.

Now that she thought about it, Alya was doing the same thing to her too, wasn’t she?

She clutched her head in her hands. I really messed up, didn’t I?

With sudden clarity, Alya raced out of the classroom and into the streets, in search of Marinette.

She’s not going to mess up this time.

Felix’s transformation is dramatically different in terms of style. Gone is his vest and white button up and slacks. His new outfit looks more leathery and...

He sort of looks like Chat Noir. He even looks at Marinette with the same love befitting of the cat hero, but she isn’t afraid to share the look back at him. There’s a fondness that she no longer holds for Adrien.

Luka wasn’t sure that he wanted to be there to see that, but if Adrien were to show up and see all of this, he would want to be far outside of the city. Or at least transformed, but he couldn’t risk letting Marinette know he had the snake kwami. He needed an escape, but how?

“So impatient,” Marinette clucks her tongue, lowering herself down in front of the newly familiarized Felix, stroking his chin, “You were next in line, Chaton. Were you jealous? There’s no reason to be. I have love for you, Luka and Kagami. I want you to know that you are so dear to me, and for your kind words, I will place my trust in you.”

Smiles were rare for Felix, and seeing one might have brought a smile to Luka’s face. Instead, watching him smile and lean his cheek into Marinette’s touch reminded him of a plucked guitar string - a piece missing from making a complete range of sound.

Her gentle gaze turns away from Felix and back toward Luka. “It seemed I missed last time, but I won’t be this time.”

Just as she fires up the pink energy in her hand, Queen Bee, Chat Noir and Ryukōun land in front of them, prepared for attack. Her face hardens at the sight of the cat hero.

“M’lady, I’m here to save the day and make things right,” Chat Noir declares, “This time, I’ll show you that I’m the purr-fect guy for you!”

The two girls look to each other and groan, and Luka can’t help but be sick. He’s heard bad lyrics in his life, but nothing will ever top that. Marinette is the only one to look slightly inconvenienced by the whole ordeal.

“I only need one thing from you Chat Noir,” she declares coolly, “And I think we all know by now what that is,” she turns to the familiarized Felix, “Chaton, do me a favor and retrieve that imposter cat’s ring.”

Before Luka can react or really take in the scene, he feels a string wrap around him and pull him away from the fray. Somewhere, behind a building, Ryukōun regards him with a heavy look.

“I’d take the opportunity to transform if I were you,” she points out, “We’re going to need all the help we can get.”

“I’d rather not fight but…” Sass pops out of his pocket and gives him a gentle nod. “Give me just a sec. I’ll join you in a bit.”

She returned to the battle, just in time to witness Queen Bee get knocked into Chat Noir. Unfortunately, Venom was activated and it grazes Chat, leaving him immobile. She tries to rush over and help out, but Felix cuts her off, taking off the ring and undoing Adrien’s transformation.

Marinette smirks, petting her familiar. “Very good, Chaton. This creep will no longer be bothering us.”

Chloe’s transformation is about to wear off, and Kagami realizes the urgency of needing to get her out of the area. She has no doubt that Hawkmoth would be interested in obtaining more miraculouses for the sake of whatever plans he has in mind. And with the cat miraculous now in Felix’s hand, things are going to get messier.

She curses herself for thinking such a thing at the sight of Alya Cesaire running up to the group, clearly out of breath. Interestingly, the curse mark on her forehead is faint now, turning into more of a light pink color.

This catches Marinette’s attention.

“It seems you’ve come to realize your mistake, Alya,” she says, crossing her arms over her chest, “And would you care to explain what that is?”

The Ladyblogger is bent over, her hands on her knees as she’s trying to regain breath. Looking up to regard her friend, Alya says, “I’m sorry… I should have listened to you. I just thought I was doing what was best for you. But I realize… it was just about my own ego and what I wanted. I should have been a better friend.”

The symbol changes shape and is now a clearly more defined pink. At the sight of this, Marinette smirks.

“Very good. You shall be spared.”

A pink beam is fired in Alya’s direction. Content with the transformation, the newly made familiar takes a stance next to Felix.

They’re almost down two miraculous users already, and Marinette has an army of who knows how many familiars by this point. And now, she’s glaring down Adrien with the most wicked glare of the entire day.

She zaps him with a red beam. “Adrien Agreste. You invaded my privacy, my space, and ruined my happiness. And so, you shall be cursed so that no matter how long you chase, no matter how close you get, you will never be able to get me. Every time you try, you’ll only manage to set yourself back.”

Before Adrien can object, he poofs into thin air. And to make matters worse, Chloe’s transformation is entirely undone, leaving her defenseless.

“Hey, what happened to Adrien?” Chloe demands.

“Nothing nefarious, I assure you,” Marinette sighs, looking rather bored with the exchange, “Despite what he’s done to me, I wouldn’t go that far. No, he’s somewhere in this city, far away enough from me. He won’t be hurting me again.”

Part of her feels unsympathetic toward the blonde. He pushed and pushed Marinette, and now he was finally getting what he deserved. She could understand Marinette’s motivations and actions in a way.

But the rational part of her knows that she can’t just leave Adrien all alone. Someone has to keep tabs on him, especially if he decides to do something rash.

“Get out of here,” Kagami says, catching Chloe with the yo-yo and spinning her off in another direction, “And go and find Adrien!”

The blonde huffs at the request, but wastes no time getting out of the area. That just leaves her with Marinette.

What is taking Luka so long? All he needs to do is transform and get out here!

All of the ire and spite that plagued her dissipates. She only regards Kagami with a chilling warmth. Kagami wraps her fingers around the yo-yo, prepared for anything Marinette has to throw at them.

“There’s no need for that,” Marinette insists, “I’m not going to hurt you. And with Adrien out of the way, our nightmares are quelled.”

“Are you nightmares really quelled, Marinette?” Kagami asks, “You might think that because you cursed him and anyone else that hurt you. But that hurt in your heart? Everything you went through? Can you just forget about that?”

“Why would you say something like that? None of that stuff matters now.”

“That’s not true,” someone interrupts.

The newly created snake hero leaps over to them, his lyre out and at the ready. There’s a moment of silence as he and Marinette pass a look. Kagami can’t decide if she’s relieved that he’s finally on the scene or more on edge thinking about what’s about to happen.

“What are you doing?” she asks, regarding him with a frown. “I hope you don’t plan on fighting me.”

“I know I can’t fight you,” he answers quietly, “But I do wish to help you. Just listen,” he says, strumming the strings of the lyre, “And tell me what you hear.”

She frowns, preparing to fire at him. A flash of purple over eyes seems to be persuading her to do it, but she hesitates.

“Please,” he asks quietly, “If it hurts too much, you can do whatever you want to me in retaliation.”

Kagami is about to ask him if he’s out of his mind, but when she glances over to him, she sees that his expression remains firm and serious. She didn’t think an akuma attack like this would get her to see such different sides of him.

Marinette must have been thinking the same thing, because she lowers her hand, and the color in her hands fades out.

“Fine,” Marinette huffs, “I suppose I can grant that request.”

Gently, his fingers graze against the strings of the harp. His eyes are closed and he’s deep in though, and yet he doesn’t look the least bit worried. Almost as if there’s mutual assurance that she’s not going to do anything to her.

Kagami can only watch as Luka plays the harp, and Marinette starts singing along. At first, she feels like a bit of an intruder, a third party that wasn’t meant to hear this song. But then she remembers Felix, whose expression starts to soften, and his body relax. Kagami can’t help but place a hand over her heart as she allows the music to soothe her senses.

When she looks up at the witch akuma, she can see that tears have started to dot her eyes, until she’s finally crying and her hands cover the rest of her face up.

“What have I done?” she sobs.

“It’s okay,” Luka insists, “We can fix this.”

Kagami dares to take a step closer to her. “Marinette, please, let us have the akuma.”

It takes her a moment to agree to it, as the flash of purple returns to argue against it, but Kagami thinks she hears a yes. Underneath the collar of the shirt, she unties a ribbon as she lowers herself to the ground. With a single tug, the akuma is out and about, and Kagami wastes no time cleansing it and casting the miraculous healing.

Marinette is still crying as her form falls. Nudging to a now free Felix to watch over her for a moment, Kagami and Luka make a quick escape in the chaos to allow their transformations to fall. She takes the earrings out before making her way back to Marinette, who is sobbing in Felix’s arms.

“I’m sorry,” she says in between breaths.

“It’s okay. You’re okay. Now, let’s get you home.”

---

She stares at the ceiling of her bedroom for hours.

After the akumatization wore off, Marinette’s memory of events was a bit fuzzy. She remembers Felix, Kagami and Luka comforting her. Then nothing. Then having her parents’ arms wrapped around her. And then somehow being in her bedroom, the lights dimmed,

She couldn’t sleep. She needed to, so badly. But sleep would not overtake her.

Turning herself over to look over the bottom part of the room, her fingers curl over the edges of her diary.

So many words and thoughts in her mind. But none of them will easily translate to the page. And so she sinks deeper into the angry, bitter thoughts that overtook her. She isn’t going to catch a single wink of sleep that night, even as she tries to will herself into deep slumber.

All she can think about is how school is going to suck tomorrow.

Her phone, which had been charging on the shelf above her bed, flashes with some new messages on screen.

Luka: Just wanted to check and see if you were alright. If you’re up for it, would you like to hang out tomorrow?

Kagami: I hope you’re doing a bit better. Remember, you can always talk to me if something is bothering you. It will get better, and there are plenty of other people willing to talk with you, if you wish.

Felix: Please take care of yourself. I’m here to help with whatever you need.

She lets out a deep breath. Alya might be more of a wild card in this scenario, but she at least had backup. Tomorrow was still going to suck.

But she wasn’t facing tomorrow, or Adrien, alone anymore.

---

END ACT 2.

#miraculous ladybug #ml salt #ml salt fic #nice guy adrien #nice guy adrien au #nice guy adrien the musical #adrien salt #akumanette #akumatized marinette #chameleon salt

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josephinekirk · 5 years

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What ‘Shrill’ Has Meant to Me As a Young Fat Woman

As I watched the six incredibly honest, funny and beautiful episodes of Shrill, I could feel myself releasing a deep breath I hadn’t even realized I was holding. I was finally seeing a fat woman being celebrated: Not laughed at for being fat, but laughed with for being beautifully hilarious. Not as the ridiculously outlandish best friend that exists to make the thin protagonist look better, but as the protagonist herself. Not making fun of her own weight to beat everyone else to the punch, but living in her own body unapologetically and without constant shame. I was seeing a fat woman with a quirky and cute sense of style. I was seeing a fat woman having sex and being viewed as sexy. I was seeing a genuine depiction of how society, and even well-intending loved ones, can make fat people feel like shit for simply existing and taking up space. She was many things all at once, not just “the fat one”. She just was. She was me. She is me- almost spookily so. Like, shit got eerie for a minute. I may or may not have been worried that I was in a real life Truman Show type of situation.

In Shrill, the splendiferous Aidy Bryant plays Annie Easton. She isn’t the “Ashley Graham plus-size” that means curvy with a flat stomach. She has actual real fat on her stomach AND straight men don’t contract a Walking Dead type zombie virus when they come in contact with her. Many people find her attractive AND she has a sense of style AND she doesn’t completely hate herself and obsess over the trendiest diets in an attempt to lose weight and finally be worthwhile to society. She is driven and talented AND she can jam out to Ariana Grande with the best of them AND she is a delightful daughter AND she has (and is) a phenomenal friend. She can go to a pool party and bear her bathing suit body without feeling like she must quickly put on some snow gear to cover up, for fear that the eyes of thin people and children everywhere will dissolve from pure shock and outrage. Lastly, she can have sex and feel sexy and the world doesn’t fall into complete disarray?! WHAT? But she’s fat...You must be mistaken. WHAT SORCERY IS THIS? WHAT WIZARD CONJURED THIS? HOW CAN IT BE?! THE TIME-SPACE CONTINUUM MUST BE BROKEN! WE ARE AT DEFCON ONE, PEOPLE!

Okay, but in all seriousness, it was a breath of fresh air to watch a fat woman be unapologetically fat and not obsessed with being thin or chasing the love of some CW-teen heartthrob looking fool with tapioca for brains, or worse- regularly making her body and existence a punchline for a cheap laugh. Fat women have complex stories to tell and, like ALL FOLKS, should not be reduced to tropes and cheap laughs that belittle and degrade the variety of shapes and sizes people come in. When we do that and recycle the same tired-ass trope of the fat clown woman who has all the sexual appeal of crusty tupperware, we perpetuate the myth that fat and beautiful can never go hand in hand. To further illustrate this point, let me take you back to a conversation I have had with multiple people, in multiple cities, across multiple years, in multiple contexts. It typically starts with me referring to myself as fat, fluffy, or plus-sized (when prompted to talk about my body, body positivity or why I struggle to shop at many popular clothing stores). Then, whoever, says some variation of: “OMG don’t even say that. You are not fat, you’re beautiful.”

Bish, did I say I was ugly? I just acknowledged that my body mass index is higher than average for someone of my height after YOU wanted to talk about body postivity and the beautiful diversity of women. Who the fudge said anything about ugly? Have you seen me? Shit, I’m cute as hell.

The other classic is the tride and true “how are you so confident?” bit that many a fat person has been asked on account of their fatness. My response is typically as follows: Well, as previously established- I’m cute as hell. Also, I read and I know things, I have some delightful friends, I can nearly recite all episodes of Boy Meets World, I know every lyric to Will Smith’s ‘Men in Black’, I own multiple berets, I have fantastic taste in music, I’m imaginative and I had a delightful Granny that made me feel special and loved. That is where my confidence comes from, asshole.

Those cheap digs at a fat women are just tired. I’ve had enough. I’m done with them. I’ve been the barely chubby girl at the grade school beach party hanging out with the parents because all the kids ran into the water and I was too scared to take off my oversized shirt and my way too big board shorts. I’ve been the 11 year old and 15 year old on all liquid diets because I was terrified that no one would like me if I was (dun dun dun) ~FAT~. It’s those young girls that lose when fat women are constantly made to be the punchlines or when fat is always equated to unhealthy and ugly.

Do some fat people also have health issues? Yes. Some thin people do to. That’s just how it goes. I am not fat because I am anti-exercise or anti-broccoli. I am not leading the charge against leafy greens and cardio. I, like nearly all fat people, am not fat because I am secretly an evil sorceress troll that can only harness my powers for evil when I sit on a couch, stuff my face with Cheeto Puffs and watch NCIS reruns. I am not a thin person trapped inside a fat body because some scorned witch put a curse on the women in my family and until I can get some ruggedly handsome brooding man to fall in love with me, I will forever be forced to live in this miserable flesh person.

I am fat because I am fat.

If you feel that I owe you more of an explanation (which by the way, I do not), ask me about it and maybe I will get further into the machinations of my earlier childhood and my long and arduous relationship with food and eating. Until then, shows like Shrill give me and many others the recognition we’ve been wanting because it boldly proclaims that we can be happy, healthy and fat. It can be done. People are out here believing in ghosts and shit, but somehow the idea of a fat person being happy and healthy is, like, ~NoOoOoo WaAaAaY~.

Simply put- Shrill not only affirms, but it celebrates my existence as a fat woman and I am so damn thrilled that I could scream it from the rooftops. I mean, I won’t because I’m wildly afraid of heights, but you get the idea.

Photo: @aidybryant on Instagram

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hallelujuh · 5 years

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shay’s favorite albums of 2017

didn’t commit to finishing this until the literal very end of 2018 but whatever fdjhfkjdsnfds

I’m not sure if it was my newfound willingness to explore new genres and artists, but I thought 2017 was a fantastic year for music. Plenty old favorites of mine released new albums this year, and I was lucky enough to discover a lot of music, both from new musicians and old. Here’s my top twenty albums of this year.

20. Divide by Ed Sheeran

19. Fin by Syd

18. Blossom by Milky Chance

17. I See You by the xx

16. Trip by Jhene Aiko

15. Good for You by Amine

14. Future Friends by Superfruit

13. Sacred Hearts Club by Foster the People

12. American Teen by Khalid

11. All We Know of Heaven, All We Need of Hell by Pvris

10. From the Outside by Hey Violet - While I originally only cared about this band because it’s composed of mostly girls, which is rare, I’ve grown to really love them as musicians. They’re very creative, producing catchy pop tracks that aren’t like most pop songs, and their debut album is fun as hell. Each song makes the listener feel badass and sexy and young, and you just kinda wanna dance and enjoy life. Favorite track: Tie between Like Lovers Do and Unholy. The former is distinctive and unique, and reminds me of Emilie Autumn, and the latter is incredibly well-produced and pretty visceral for a pop track by such a young band.

9. After Laughter by Paramore - Continuing their previous album’s sound so that every song sounds like Ain’t It Fun, After Laughter has a gorgeous aesthetic, a memorable sound, and, notably, follows the trend of most emo artists of today - disguising sad lyrics beneath happy music, as made famous by Twenty One Pilots. Each song is catchy, allow the lyrics all leave you feeling a bit empty, but you’ll be dancing to misery. Favorite track: 26. I’m always a sucker for the one mellow song on an album full of bops, and that rang true once more. 26 is about reflecting back on how you’ve spent your youth, and it’s paired with a bittersweet simplistic guitar. Hayley’s vocals hold pain, but also gratitude.

8. Hopeless Fountain Kingdom by Halsey - I’ve been a huge Halsey fan since before Badlands even came out, when all we had was Room 93 and live versions of then-unreleased tracks. Though her evolving sound was criticized by some, I appreciated that HFK follows the formula so many other sophomore records follow, with the lyrics addressing new-found fame and how the artist is dealing with it, and also how they want their sound to be since they’ve already made it big. This record was clearly more hip-hop driven, with production that sounded heavily influenced by Kanye, but it felt fitting. Furthermore, HFK is the redemption arc to Badland’s heartbreak-themes. It’s really a triumphant album overall. Favorite track: Sorry. While 100 Letters is my most-played track and therefore a close second, because the simplistic beat allows Ashley’s lyrics to shine, and she’s a lyricist and a poet before she’s a singer - I believe Sorry is the quintessential song from this record. Her pain is so tangible in this stripped-down ballad, and it’s such a nice switch from her usual lust-driven upbeat songs. I always have respect for musicians who can bear their sleeve in such an open, honest way, and while Ashley’s always been vocal about her struggles, it’s still nice to hear such a heartfelt track come about even after all her success.

7. Dua Lipa by Dua Lipa - This young pop singer's self-titled debut is a catchy, passionate, and solid record that's earned her a well-deserved place on the charts and in people's playlists. The songs are rather cliched, recycled themes that I've heard from dozens of other young female artists, but there's some emotionally-charged pop ballads that show potential. Dua's vocals remind me of a raspier Ariana Grande mixed with a less-powerful Christina Aguilera. Seeing as those two aforementioned singers can over-do their performances a bit, I enjoyed this mellower newcomer. Don't get me wrong, Dua's unique in her own way, and she's hardly a copycat; but I'm worried her talent will overlooked because there's already others like her. Still, it was a solid album that I enjoy thoroughly, and I had multiple tracks from it on repeat.

6. Beautiful Trauma by P!nk - I've been a P!nk fan since I was very young, and this album was wonderfully nostalgic to me. P!nk's one of the few artists who's never been swayed by a need to stay relevant; she just makes the music she wants to make, and her fans love her for it. This record was, at times, a little generic beat-wise, but still distinctly P!nk. As always, she wore her heart on her sleeve and you can feel how personal every song is; how genuine every word is. It really pays off. Favorite track: Barbies - This is a song I think every girl over thirteen can relate to. I'm twenty years younger than P!nk, but this track really resonated with me. It was the only song on this record I listened to repeatedly. I think every girl wants to grow up as quickly as possible, but once you reach adulthood, you just want to be a kid again. You long for simpler times. The beautiful message of the song (enjoy your youth) is paired beautifully with gorgeous instruments (violin! cello! wow!), which adds a timelessness to the track.

5. One More Light by Linkin Park - Although most, myself included, were unhappy with the pop-driven sound of LP’s seventh effort, the death of Chester added a lot to how meaningful this album is. Listening to it now fills me with a hopeful nostalgia, in contrast with how I listened to it in the days following his passing. What once sounded like a cry for help that no one listened to, now sounds like a triumphant farewell. As usual, these guys put their hearts into the making of this record, and it’s a real bummer that it took Chester killing himself to make people appreciate that. LP is a master at their craft, regardless of what genre they’re feeling at the moment. It’s a solid album, full of truly heartfelt lyrics and Chester’s beautiful voice, and I’ve often found myself listening to it when I’m feeling down. It really helps. And that’s what LP’s music has always been about, I think. Being there for you when you feel like no one else is. This album still felt like that, even though it was through a different genre. They let go of the anger that fueled their signature sound in the beginning, in exchange for a more rounded, reflective take on things. I think that’s comforting, and beautiful, in a way no one seemed to understand. What’s better than someone making peace with the world? Alternatively, what’s worse than someone taking their own life because people didn’t want to see them get better? Favorite track: Talking to Myself. I watched this video the day it was released - hours before Chester’s passing was announced. I enjoyed the bass and the video made me smile. After I found out, and after a few hours of crying, I rewatched this video, and it meant so much more the second time. The song itself is a favorite because it’s such a fun track. The bass line is catchy as hell, and my favorite part of the song is the chorus following the bridge, where Chester does a powerful run and then briefly lapses into Meteora-style vocals (”you keep running like the sky is falling”). That bit is so profoundly incredible to listen to for me, and I’m glad he left us with it.

4. Revival by Eminem - I’m one of the biggest Eminem stans of all time, so I’d probably buy a record that consisted entirely of Marshall shitting - but in all actuality, though he could never disappoint me, I was prepared for the worst, and I was pleasantly surprised. This album felt more solid than MMLP2′s experimental sounds, with Em showing us he really hasn’t fallen off. His usage of words like “lit” and “shook” are admittedly a little cringey, and his take at a more modern sound on Believe (with a trap beat and a Migos-like flow) is questionable, but the lyrics show he’s just as on top of his game than ever. It’s not an instant-classic like MMLP - those days are probably over - but it’s a decent record with several damn good songs. (Edit, 12/2018: Bro I wrote this last year, what the fuck was I on dgfkjdgh.) Favorite track: In Your Head. While the most memorable tracks on this record are definitely the collaborations - my favorites being River with Ed Sheeran and Need Me with P!nk - this rather short track really stood out. I listened to the album for the first time on my CD player, without having looked at the track listing since it was released a few weeks back, so every song was a surprise, and when I heard O'Riordan’s vocals, I got very excited, since Zombie is one of my favorite songs of all time. Though the original song is about war, Em raps over the sample track’s bass line and signature guitar riff and speaks about the skeletons in his closet with a passion reminiscent of The Eminem Show and a flow taken from his Recovery days. The smooth transition to Castle is another nice touch. While his speed in the last thirty seconds of Offended is impressive (with Flight of the Bumblebee in the background! Ha!), this was the song that sold me on this album. It’s everything I love about Eminem. (Note: This was written before O’Riordan’s passing. RIP.)

3. Scum Fuck / Flower Boy by Tyler, the Creator - From the goofy poster boy of a generation of carefree and colorfully dressed punks, to an extremely talented and capable producer and musician, watching Tyler’s growth as an artist and a human has been extremely rewarding, especially as a longtime Tyler/OF fan. While Cherry Bomb failed to impress me in the midst of my emo-craze, I appreciated that it was a turning point in Tyler’s career. SFFB, however, successfully took me right out of my indie-craze. Flower Boy builds upon what Tyler tried to do on CB, and it works out much better. Watching his brilliant NPR Tiny Desk Concert only solidified this belief. Tyler’s a musical genius, and I hope more people come to realize it. Favorite track: 911/Mr. Lonely. The whole record is full of earworms - Glitter, Boredom, See You Again - and it’s truly a feat Tyler was able to pull that off. But I have to go with this single - both songs are catchy, the production is masterful, Frank Ocean and Steve Lacy’s voices are beautiful. Who Dat Boy didn’t particularly excite me upon first listen, but these two tracks did, because they reminded me how talented and incredible Tyler is.

2. DAMN. by Kendrick Lamar - My favorite thing about musicians is getting to watch them mature, both musically and personally. I’ve frequently compared DAMN to J. Cole’s 4 Your Eyez Only, as both records feature Jermaine and Kendrick discussing much more mature concepts within their albums. Kendrick’s always been grounded because of his upbringing, whereas Cole was a little more blinded by fame for the first few albums. However, since their respective last albums, Kendrick has gotten engaged, and Cole got married and had a little girl (EDIT: Apparently he had a boy!), and you can hear how these lifestyle changes have influenced their lyrical content, which is really nice to behold. Kendrick’s always seemed like a very intelligent person, with an understanding of the world many in his field lack, and this album highlights that beautifully. Favorite track: Humble. While Love’s a personal favorite, Humble’s success reminded me of Control. I still remember the day that dropped - and Humble felt similar, as it was Kendrick reminding us that he’s simply on another level. The simplistic and almost grating beat excellently parodies every single rap song that’s on the radio these days, except Kendrick proves his superiority by showing us that the beat’s not the important part; the lyrics are. It’s genius, and I’ll never get over how iconic it is, honestly.

1. Saturation I, II, & III by Brockhampton - Because this remarkably talented new group released three new records this year, and I can’t pick a favorite, nor can or do I want to rate them separately, they easily earn this spot. With flawless and innovative production, refreshingly creative and intricate lyrics, remarkable versatility, and, best of all, a youthful individuality reminiscent of Odd Future circa 2011, Brockhampton is one of the best things 2017 has offered. I’ve grown attached to these kids, and I’m glad I’ll be able to see where they go and how big they get. Favorite track: Star. While Junky is the most impressive track, and Follow is my personal favorite, Star earns this spot because it’s the song that single-handedly got me into Brockhampton. The name-dropping bop is a good introduction to the band, as it features their signature memorably synth-infused beats, Ameer’s clever wordplay, Ian’s favorite thing to talk about (his sexuality) as well as his penchant for hooks and bridges, Merlyn’s loud and brash vocals, etc. I won’t be compiling a list of my favorite songs of this year, but if I did, this would easily make the top ten. It reminded me exactly why I love rap music, in a time when I was beginning to doubt hip hop.

honorable mentions

CTRL by SZA - Though I’d never heard of SZA aside from her feature on Consideration, this album was hyped immensely by Twitter, so I felt I had to check it out. Unfortunately I was disappointed. Although the album’s masterfully done, and I love the production and her voice, the lyrical content ruined it for me. Of course, this is personal preference, and she’s allowed to write songs about whatever the hell she wants to, but the nature of the lyrics were what kept me from being a fan. To each their own, I guess.

Everybody by Logic - I wasn’t a big Logic fan prior to 1-800. Funny story, actually - I thought he was entirely white, and I’m vehemently against white rappers. He's more like a biracial Kendrick, especially in flow on Hallelujah. The record continues the trend started by Bey’s Lemonade of celebrating black power and beauty, with Logic demonstrating a fresh, biracial perspective on it. Loved that there were actual instrumentals, that was refreshing, considering modern rap beats are often created entirely using synthesizers. Also love that Logic’s cementing himself as the Inclusive Rapper, and accepting that title proudly. Good for him.

I Decided by Big Sean - I’ve been a casual Big Sean fan since Finally Famous (2011), but he’s very rarely impressed me with his lyricism. This album showed that Sean’s matured and grown as a person and a rapper, but the songs didn’t leave enough of an impression on me to be featured on my list.

Lust for Life by Lana Del Rey - Although I’m sure die-hards were more than happy with this record, I didn’t enjoy it as much as I wish I could’ve. Lana’s sound hasn’t changed much, so I don’t think the quality of her music is decreasing, I just think my tastes are changing. This newer stuff hasn’t appealed to me nearly as much as her Born to Die/Paradise stuff did. I think 2012!me would’ve loved this record, but 2017!me was unsatisfied.

Melodrama by Lorde - I can always appreciate growth in an artist, but in Lorde’s case, I couldn’t bring myself to like the change. While there’s traces of the sound that put her on the map, and the music still sounds like teenage rebellion, it just doesn’t invoke the same feelings. It’s less grounded - and not in a good way.

Lovely Little Lonely by The Maine - The pop punk 1D continues to make catchy, solid tunes, but nothing about this record particularly stands out to me. Still, it’s a decent album from an underrated band.

extended plays

they’re too short to be included in my top albums, but i wanted to mention them anyway.

Caught Up by Sarah Close - I found this adorable Brit through her fantastic covers of popular songs, and thankfully I was subscribed when she started posting original music. Caught Up isn’t particularly unique, but the songs are fun, her voice is wonderful, and it’s a solid little EP.

Y.O.U by Dodie - I’ve watched Dodie’s covers for a while, so it’s nice to see she’s making original stuff. Love the style of it. Very excited to see what she puts out next.

dont smile at me by Billy Eilish - The fifteen-year-old, who sounds very similar to the recently-disgraced Melanie Martinez, may talk like an annoying skater boy, but her angelic singing voice keeps pulling me back in. I’m not used to talented celebrities being younger than me. It’s depressing. (EDIT: I spelled Billie wrong jdgdhf she’s in my top 10 artists of this year now too hahh)

Hard by The Neighbourhood - This band has been a favorite for four years now; I even saw them live for my birthday in 2015. They could never disappoint me, but their recent music hasn’t changed much to what long-time fans like myself fell in love with in the days of I Love You, which is nice to see, when so many other artists I used to like are experimenting with their sound in unflattering ways.

#mine #txt #2017

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juliaisabellphoto · 5 years

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Music Journal #1: 2018 Albums of the Year

Thus far, I’ve dedicated this blog solely to my attempts at becoming a decent photographer, as well as some scattered descriptions of my travels. While I have no intention of making this blog absurdly personal or anything more than an artistic outlet, I’ve always had an itching to write about the music I find & listen to. So, without further ado, I’ll start with my favorite albums of the year (& a short summary of my thoughts on each)

1. Tash Sultana, Flow State

I stumbled upon this gem of a project late in 2018 when I was itching for an album to drown myself in. As soon as the first notes of “Seed (Intro)” blasted in my headphones, I knew I had chosen right. With a beautiful combination of melodic guitar riffs, biting electronic drum tracks, and silky, laid-back vocals, Sultana opens up a world for the listener to fall into. Listening to this album is startlingly similar to a dreamless night of sleep - one moment you feel as though you can discern the differences between tracks, and the next you’ve made it all the way to track eight without noticing. “Cigarettes” is certainly the vocal gem of the piece, with smooth R&B roots & a chorus that just won’t get out of your head. In stark contrast, “Blackbird” is a song of instrumental mastery. The vocals take a backdrop to the intense conversation (and at some points, argument) being had by Sultana’s competing guitar melodies. Sultana’s work on the guitar is often reminiscent of John Butler Trio & other acoustic greats, but the addition of their unique voice allows the album to take an entirely unique shape of its own. If I have one piece of advice for 2019, it’s to make time to sit and do nothing but listen to this album.

Must watch: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=GVDJ8O3lPBA

2. Ariana Grande, Sweetener

This was an obvious choice. Ari dropped the album we all needed to hear in 2018. With the artful ability to produce banging pop songs with real meaning, Grande has the makings of a star who will not stop shining for a long, long while. The album is brimming with girl power and independence while also being honest and genuine. The entrancing bass line and sexy confidence of “God is a woman” captured the attention of functionally everyone this year, and with good reason. The subsequent confessional “breathin” showed that even the most badass women have their struggles. Chronicling her fight with anxiety, the song provides a stunning anthem for holding your head up through hard times. If this album proves anything, it is that the new queen of pop has arrived and will be staying.

Must watch: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ivwciGSLC-M

3. ASAP Rocky, TESTING

In this album, ASAP Rocky ascends to a whole new level of hip-hop greatness. When describing the project, he stated that it was ‘all about testing new sounds,” and that shows. The abrasive intro song, “Distorted Records,” sets the stage for a completely unique soundscape. This experimentation continues throughout the album with funky drum tracks and accompanying melodies, but ASAP Rocky’s clean vocal style provides a uniting constant.

While most of this album is perfect for blasting on the highway with car windows down, one song stands out as an independent masterpiece. “Purity.” featuring Frank Ocean, stands in stark contrast to the air of invincibility found in the rest of the album. This song is vulnerable: an introspective discussion of intoxication-related demons laid over an artful sample of Lauryn Hill’s “I Gotta Find Peace of Mind.” This slow, heart-wrenching piece provides an end to the album that is completely antithetical to its beginning. The immense versatility shown in one album alone deserves to be at the top of any 2018 list.

4. Khruangbin, Con Todo El Mundo

If I’ve learned anything this year, it’s that the best instrumental music has the ability to say more than any lyrics can. Khruangbin’s second album does just that: every song has a character and a storytelling emotion wrapped up in its funky bass lines. At times, the album floats along as life does (see “Como Me Quieres.) At others, for example in Maria Tambien, there is the feeling of being in the midst of some dramatic situation. The album instrumentally represents the stages of individual thought (both active and passive) and it is completely enthralling.

Fun fact: the track “August 10″ is the song “August 12″ from their first album, but played in reverse. They described it as a “connective tissue” between their first album and their second. Cool stuff!

Must watch: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vWLJeqLPfSU

5. Mitski, Be the Cowboy

I first listened to this album as I fell asleep on a plane ride, and I wouldn’t have it any other way. The droning, climactic beauty of this album is best experienced on its own with nothing to distract but your own droopy eyes. The album starts off slow with “Geyser,” but quickly works its way up to the earth-shaking climax of “Pearl.” The album is filled with complex sonic peaks and valleys from there on out (try to find a melodic similarity between “Remember My Name” and “Come into the Water” - I date you.) The songs of this album feel like different chapters in a storybook, and that’s exactly how Mitski wanted it. When she described her intentions, she said that she wanted the album to feel like “the image of someone alone on a stage.” ‘Be the Cowboy’ cleverly achieves this - finishing the album feels like finishing a novel, including the disappointment at the lack of further content.

6. Troye Sivan. Bloom

This pop album bursting with energy and emotion accesses the wonderful, terrible process of falling in and out of love. While I could talk for paragraphs upon paragraphs about the hours that I spent dancing in my kitchen to this album, that’s not the primary reason for this album’s place on my list. With ‘Bloom,’ Sivan produced one of the most emotionally versatile musical pieces of the year. When I discuss his songs with people, I am always struck by the differences in what they mean to each of us. Certainly, this variance in meaning is the nature of music - but Sivan pushes that to a new level. His songs are a vibrant and powerful normalization of gay expression, and provide the whole world with relatable songs to dance (and cry) to.

Must watch: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5xCMF7jsDJI

7. J. Balvin, Vibras

There is only one thing that this album makes you want to do: dance. It is absolutely guaranteed that your hips will be moving by the end of song number two. The beats on this new album are hot and infectious, as shown by the popularity of “Mi Gente” in clubs everywhere. Reggaeton as a genre has gained massive popularity globally, and Balvin has jumped into this with new variations of the traditional Columbian style. Noticeable throughout the album are infusions of popular trap beats as well as salsa and electronic dance music (see “Machika.”) The album is undeniably sexy, y despues de escuchar todas personas quieren mas ;)

8. LP, Heart to Mouth

I read somewhere that this album was a “full-length heartbreaker.” As I progressed through each song, this description was confirmed ten times over. There is not a single song on this album that didn’t make me feel something real. In no particular order, LP represents the whirlwind of emotions that come with the end of a relationship: regret, pain, missing someone, liberation, strength. The entire conflicting mess is all there. Listen to ‘Recovery’ if you need a cry, and ‘Girls Go Wild’ if you need a therapeutic dance party. All I can do is feel thankful to have received this raw, empowering confessional. And of course, her stunning vocals don’t hurt one bit.

Must watch: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ACWS4ajWdww

9. Mac Miller, Swimming

Listening to this album in the wake of Mac’s death is haunting. His words cut deep, and they cut deeper after knowing the full extent of how he struggled. The themes of growth and healing are wrapped up in overwhelming melodies and Mac’s beautiful voice. The first track of the album, “Come Back to Earth,” sets the stage for the emotional rollercoaster that each track is bound to be. After this song, he launches into the groovy “Hurt Feelings” and begins to describe the intricacies of his hardships. This album is something you could easily bop around your kitchen table to (queue “What’s the Use?”), but if you listen too closely you might end up in tears. In this contemplative and instrumentally complex record, Mac’s last work was his strongest.

Must watch: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=QrR_gm6RqCo

10. Liz Brasher, Outcast EP

I first heard this EP on an episode of NPR’s “All Songs Considered” in the middle of a long drive up California Highway 5 (one that would’ve been torturous without the discovery of new music.) The song “Body of Mine” immediately caught my ear, and I dove into the rest of Brasher’s music as deeply as I could. Uncut garage-band sound is the overwhelming theme of the EP - “Body of Mine,” “Come My Way,” and “Outcast” make this crystal clear. Despite the quick assumptions that can be made about her sound, Brasher pulls complexity into the EP with the heart-wrenching ballads “Feel Something” and “Remain.” These two songs showcase the raw strength of her voice and the emotion that she can convey with it. I am excited to see what her music develops into as she gains more acclaim in the new year. Thanks again, NPR!

11. Travis Scott, ASTROWORLD

I haven’t been a huge Travis Scott fan in the past. I would passively listen to his music, but I never understood all the buzz about him. This album completely changed my mind. ASTROWORLD is a masterpiece in so many ways, and the amount of depth present in the album is mindblowing. While “STARGAZING” and “SICKO MODE” stand out as obvious party bangers, it’s no surprise that many fans are hooked on calmer tracks like “YOSEMITE” and “COFFEE BEAN.” If I were to describe the different musical styles employed on this album, I would truly be describing every song. Scott enters a new realm of production genius, giving club DJs exactly what they want while also producing the perfect songs for a chill night in smoking. He includes the autotuned party business he employed in past albums while also mixing in pure, clean cuts of his own voice. It was a pleasant surprise to hear an album from a trap artist with both diversity and widespread quality. Officially a Travis Scott fan.

Must watch: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=enYt3dKXWkE

12. Christine and the Queens, Chris

I was also introduced to this album late in the year, and I’m glad I was because its energy was exactly what I needed. This half poppy half funky explosion of energy is what anyone needs to listen to on a down day. This album was her rebranding as Chris, an “affirmation of desire as a force of chaos” as she described in an interview with NPR. In both the album artwork and the record’s descriptions of love and identity, she plays with the fluidity of gender and its meaning in our modern era. This phenomenal record is an exercise in both shifting representations of desire and making you dance, and I’m so here for it.

Must watch: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=sjliweXTCYM

12. Kacey Musgraves. Golden Hour

This slow-rolling album is perfect for a slow day. When I initially saw this album on the top charts, I was confused - I had seen Musgraves live in 2014, I had heard “High Horse,” but what was SO special about her? It was only in taking a chunk of my day to sit and listen to this album that I caught the bug that everyone else seemed to already have. In this album, Musgraves develops into so much more of an artist than she has been in the past. She shifts from cookie-cutter radio country to a wonderfully sweet combination of cotton-candy pop and heartfelt Americana guitar riffs. Her message is positive, her lyrics are honest, and her sound is touching. I was most convinced by “Happy & Sad,” and I won’t deny that the song pulled tears out of my eyes. She conveys youthful happy energy while simultaneously acknowledging the uncertainty of that happiness, and we all needed it (even if we didn’t know it.) Plus, “High Horse” is a bop, and that’s that on that.

13. BROCKHAMPTON, iridescence

After the expulsion of Ameer Vann from the group and the cancellation of a number of tour dates, many weren’t sure what to expect from Brockhampton in the coming weeks. The name of the upcoming album was changed, and presumably entirely new songs were recorded. Nevertheless, iridescence was received with intense anticipation from die-hard Brockhampton fans (myself among them.) The album fulfilled all hopes - with the first track, “NEW ORLEANS,” launching into an aggressive and high-energy beat, I couldn’t help but smile. Brockhampton did it yet again. The transitions between songs are seamless, and every song lends to the theatrics that they love to pull onstage. Much of the record feels like a high-speed formula one race, but the emotional “SAN MARCOS” pulls listeners into another dimension entirely. Hearing this song performed live was one of the more powerful moments of any concert I’ve ever seen - the outro was made to be passionately sung by a crowd, and it so was. And “TONYA” - wow. I could go on forever about this album.

14. Boygenius, boygenius

The cover art for this record is simple, and that simplicity shines through in its tracks. The collaboration of Julien Baker, Phoebe Bridgers, and Lucy Dacus in this project is pure magic. The music is calm, melodic, and easy to become entranced by. Their voices could lull me to sleep any day, and every song feels like it could play during the part of a movie when the protagonist stares out a car window in deep thought. Each song builds to an emotionally charged climax in exactly the tortured way that a listener would expect from these three artists. At this point, I’d be deeply sad if these three didn’t continue making music as a group. They are a gift.

Must watch: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=OS48Lp34Zic

15. Kali Uchis, Isolation

Kali Uchis blooms in a real way in Isolation. Busting at the seams with sexy confidence, her psychedelic-funky R&B traversal of genres on this record is just perfect. Her uniquely smooth voice pulled over left-of-center beats lends itself to an album full of hits. “After the Storm” featuring Tyler the Creator gained quick popularity, and it is a good representative of the vibe that the rest of the album gives off. A laid back, sexual, happy piece of musical experimentation, Kali Uchis is here to play ball.

16. Cardi B, Invasion of Privacy

With Invasion of Privacy, Cardi B burst onto the popular rap scene with no regrets. Every song exudes her bad bitch energy and reclaims the rap music tropes typically employed exclusively by men. While an incredible ancestry of female rappers came before her, Cardi B has broken the musical glass ceiling in a big way. She is the first female rapper to reach number one on the Billboard top 200 in over 20 years, has the most Billboard top 100 entries of any female artist in history, and many more. She is a true ‘rags-to-riches’ success story, and she’s here to tell us all about it. I’m listening.

Must watch: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8LPVjHxXvJM

17. Ryan Beatty, Boy in Jeans

I just saw an article titled “Ryan Beatty writes really good pop songs about boys.” This was a quite simplistic summary of what’s going on here, but it’s not wrong. Despite his vocals on Brockhampton’s “Bleach” and his frequent collaboration with the popular group, Beatty didn’t break out individually in the music scene until now. He certainly did so with this album, and he did it well. His slightly left-of-center pop featuring a voice with the consistency of caramel is exactly what everyone wants to hear. It’s the perfect music for a scenic car ride, and I’m obsessed.

18. The Decemberists, I’ll Be Your Girl

I’ve been a fan of the Decemberists for a long time, and I saw them at the Greek Theatre in Berkeley on their last tour. I would see them again in a heartbeat, and I will never get over the passion that goes into Colin Meloy’s vocal presentation. With the high-energy promotion of this album, I was expecting typical Decemberists greatness. What I got was something entirely different - greatness, but nothing typical. This electronically-infused record exposed a new side of the Decemberists that I am refreshed to hear. The addition of synth and an Arcade Fire type vibe suits them and the sort of rebranding they desired to achieve. With this album, the Decemberists evolved in a way they never have, and I applaud them for it.

19. J. Cole, KOD

There are a number of people who love to hate on J. Cole, and I’ve never understood it. With this album in particular, J. Cole distinguished himself with both lyrics and production value. The album cover above depicts excessive drug use, and in fine print states “This album is in no way intended to glorify addiction.” This powerful message alone sets the stage for an album that means something. The subsequent subject matter of each of the record’s tracks follows this narrative - a description of being stuck in the ways of drug addiction. I have always appreciated J. Cole for his ability to tell a complete story through an album despite the lack of a chronological order or common plot in each song. The album shows the deterioration of a drug addict - from the high of “KOD” to the contemplative pain of “Once an Addict (Interlude).”

20. Kendrick Lamar, Black Panther the Album

Everything produced surrounding the Black Panther movie was a hit. The power of this movie and the contributors to this album is unparalleled. Aside from the clear message that this media sent, every song is phenomenal. “All the Stars” displays SZA’s ridiculous vocal prowess. “X” is the perfect hype song, displaying Kendrick’s sassy and innovative lyrical technique. In “The Ways,” Khalid’s sweet voice embodies the beauty of the powerful woman he describes. “I Am” by Jorja Smith absolutely knocks the album out of the park - this stunningly sexy track propelled her onto the music scene, and thank god it did. I’d listen forever if I could. I’d go on, but every song on this album is an iconic collaboration.

Must watch: the movie.

21. Houndmouth, Golden Age

This album is so painfully underrated. If you want a pick me up, listen to Golden Age. Immediately. From the album’s floaty start to the explosive mood of the album’s namesake track, it’s all hits and no misses. Embracing a completely different musical tone from their last album, Houndmouth seizes a futuristic alt-rock cacophony as their new style. Taking nods from 80s Phil Collins numbers (the beginning of Strange Love... come on!), they take us back to a golden age of sorts while also propelling us to a fun future. I will never not dance my pants off to this album.

#juliaisabellphoto #musicjournal #albumsoftheyear

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musicallyy-inclined · 6 years

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2017 Year End Ranked (90 - 81)

Yay for more list! I’m not sure I’ll actually get this done by New Years at the rate, but I’ll try my best. Anyway, today’s list is mostly songs that suck, but never really made an impact on my year, with a couple notable exceptions. Also, fair warning, there are a lot of rap/trap/hip-hop songs here. Since I don’t listen to rap, I’ve tried my best to give a fair review, I don’t have a lot of feeling towards most of these songs.

Anyway, here’s 90-81 after the page break!

90. That's What I Like – Bruno Mars

I would guess that this is probably my most controversial opinion in this whole list, but I can't stand this song. It's not that it sounds awful or was overplayed (although it was, but so were songs much higher on this list). It's just that this song is one of the sleaziest things to make waves on pop radio this year. Also Bonner Bolton (more on that later). Anyway, the main premise of this song is that Bruno is giving this girl all kinds of fancy things. Which seems harmless right? Nope, because there is a condition behind his gifts, that being that the girl in questions must “pop” and “drop” it for him. Yup, Bruno's basically paying for sex here, or at least headed very quickly in that direction. Now, at this point, it's still not awful right? Stripper anthems are common, so why hate this one in particular? It's the chorus that reveals why Mars is willing to drop this much money on this girl. See, he's not feeding her lobster and champagne because he's trying to satisfy her. It's because that's what HE likes. So basically, he's telling this girl to come perform for him and she'll get lots of nice stuff, but not because she's special or anything, just because that's what he happens to be doing. The girl is basically an afterthought in yet another braggadocios power trip. And while songs like Uptown Funk pull of the bragging, this falls so so flat. The framing is just straight up bad. And Bruno sounds like the worst time of player. So yeah, this song is nowhere near as good as people think it is and I'm not sure why it's getting a free pass. Also, Bonner Bolton did a “dance” to this on DWTS and it was the most sexist thing I've ever seen on the show. Shame on Sharna, but with this song to work with, I'm not surprised.

89 Juju On That Beat (TZ Anthem) - Zay Hilfigerrr & Zayion McCall

This song is real bad, no question, but I can't bring myself to hate it enough to put it on my worst list. I mostly just feel bad for these two kids because someone told them that this was good idea. And yeah, I think most of what needs to be said about this song has already been said. The beat is a rip off, these kids sound awful and the lyrics suck. But let's look at some of these lyrics, because they are so bad they make me laugh. First, they insult “you” and “your daddy”, a great way to get started. Next, they try to rhyme “else” and “fun”, which like in what universe? Also, they make up a word, comparings. Which should mean comparision, but why use the word that's already there? So yeah, this is so bad it's funny, which is why it's not lower.

88. T-Shirt - Migos

Oh Migos. I thought Bad and Boujee was the first Hot 100 they had, but apparently they made a song called “Fight Night” at some point in 2013, so I guess I was aware of that. But yeah, I think that this song is my least favorite of the ones they released this year. It's just a choppy stilted mess, and I don't like the way it sounds. And that's basically my whole opinion on this one. These next few write-ups will be pretty short mostly because I don't really care about this style of music.

87. Bank Account – 21 Savage

Oh yes, the great song where 21 Savage shows that he can indeed count to 8. And actually, I don't mind the beat on this one. At least the piano sounds good, although it's kind of drowned out. But 21 Savage sounds so bad here. He's just completely uninterested in anything that he is saying. And it's repetitive also, so that's two strikes. And yeah, that's all I have to say about this. It's just kind of there and I'm not sure why anyone likes this or cares about it.

86. Rake it Up – Yo Gotti ft. Nicki Minaj

Time for forgettable trap song #3 in a row. But this one has Nicki Minaj, so that's at least different. Not that she's any good here, because I don't get her flow on this song at all. Also, trying rhyming different words, then maybe I'll give your verse a chance. And Yo Gotti sucks too. Another song where the chorus is a repetitive mess. Why this is appealing I will never understand. And yeah, this is another stripper anthem, and it does okay at being that I guess? Idk really. Also the menstruation reference really ruins the song for me. Not sure why that was necessary.

85. Bad Things – Machine Gun Kelly ft. Camila Cabello

LOL, I think I'm just now realizing how bad this song actually is after seeing Camila succeed with Havana, a song she sounds great on. But yeah, it's real bad. First, Camila sounds one bad note away from a voice crack the entire song, and the range of this song is way too much for her to handle. Oh and she doesn't sell it at all. Although Fifth Harmony released some pretty sexual songs, they were never the “bad girls” and Camila's only other solo song at this point was a duet with freaking Shawn Mendes aka Vanilla boy. So she doesn't sound convincing at all. And MGK just sucks, plain and simple. He is not a good rapper and probably shouldn't even try anymore. His flow is very plodding and notD appealing at all. I guess he sells it better than Camila, but he sounds worse. The instrumentation of this song is it's only saving grace and has always been the best part, even when I tolerated it. It sounds like Pachabel's Canon, which is a good sample is that's what they were going for. But everything else is awful, and that's why this song ends up here.

84. Caroline - Amine

Ummm, so again I don't have much to say about this song. It's also has a kind of beat and delivery, which seems to be a commonality here. As for the actual performance, Amine sounds okay, but the content is very confusing. First, I don't like songs that use specific names, especially when they try to generalize them to a greater audience. Also, it seems like the girl here might be interested in a genuine relationship and getting to know each other, which is a noble thought. But Amine just wants to get on with it, and makes it quite clear what “it” is. So that's a dissonance which I'm not particularly fond of. But yeah, not good overall.

83. Magnolia – Playboi Carti

Um so this song didn't seem relevant at all to me. I at least remembered most of the other songs charting in the top 30 or so for a significant amount of time. And look at this chart run, I guess this did too, but it's just so unmemorable. I think that the part of this song that annoys me the most is the rhyming scheme. Something about the “op” and “ock” sound irritates me for some reason. Also, the beat just kind of sounds like a one measure loop. But other than that, this song is completely forgettable.

82. Slippery – Migos ft. Gucci Mane

Didn't take long for Migos to show up again, and with another song that I don't really care about. The flow on this is a little better than on T-shirt, so that's why this is higher, but I still am not super into the random words that seem to make up most of the bars here. The beat is kind of weird too, I'm not sure if I like it or hate it. Either way, this is annoying and I still don't really like Migos.

81. Treat You Better – Shawn Mendes

Ah, Shawn Mendes, or Vanilla Boy, as I called him earlier. I honestly like most of his music, but this is kind of awful in two main ways. First, the lyrics are pretty manipulative and whiny. Secondly, when Shawn tries to emote, his enunciation goes out the door and unlike someone like Ariana, he doesn't sound good enough to make up for it. I honestly don't have a ton to say about this song other than it's a typical “nice guy” anthem. WAIT, I just had an idea. Shawn Mendes should get with Daya, whose just looking for a good boy. lol. Anyway, this might make my worst list for last year, so if it does I'll go into more depth about it there. We'll see.

#year end ranked #hot 100 ranked #2017 #bruno mars #migos #21 savage #yo gotti #nicki minaj #camila cabello #machine gun kelly #amine #gucci mane #shawn mendes #Zay Hilfigerrr & Zayion McCall #playboi carti

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bobbystompy · 4 years

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My Top 75 Songs Of 2019

Previously: 2018, 2017, 2016, 2015, 2014, 2013, 2012, 2011

First time going below 100 songs since 2015, and I cannot wait. Giving this extra juice already.

As always, criteria and info:

This is a list of what I personally like, not ones I’m saying are the “best” from the year; more subjective than objective

No artist is featured more than once

If it comes down to choosing between two songs, I try to give more weight to a single or featured track

Each song on the list is linked in the title if you wanna check them out for yourself; there is also a Spotify playlist at the bottom that includes the majority of the songs

This is usually the part where I put up a pump up video, but we are going with something a little different this year.

youtube

(It was stuck my head. Blame Blink-155.)

75) YG - “In The Dark”

The video begins with YG chugging a full tequila bottle -- sure. This song is very bad. It’s like he’s in a competition to make the verse lyrics worse than the chorus lyrics (spoiler alert: the verses “win”); not even satanic imagery can save this.

74) Solange - “Stay Flo”

Here’s a weird take: wouldn’t Solange’s career be way more fun if everyone slept on her? Instead, it’s hype on hype -- plus being Beyoncé’s sister -- which makes it nearly impossible to deliver. This has a fun beat/vibe but is kinda boring... and was still easily my favorite off her album.

73) Art Alexakis - “The Hot Water Test”

My doctors told me that I had a disease / I will slowly fall apart until there’s nothing left that looks like me

This song makes the stakes clear immediately. It was released a few months after I saw Art play in June 2019 on my birthday. At the intimate show, he revealed his multiple sclerosis diagnosis as if we were all his closest friends. Something like this is never easy to deal with -- a similar announcement by the Lucky Boys Confusion singer did not help matters -- but music can help such a painful situation, and it’s clearly Alexakis’ exile here.

72) The Cranberries - “In The End”

A very suitable sendoff for the band following the passing of singer Dolores O’Riordan. The recording story (via NPR):

O'Riordan died suddenly in January 2018 at 46 years old and left behind the vocal tracks to what was intended to be the band's latest album. Now, O'Riordan's bandmates have decided to complete that album, In The End — the last album the band will release — in her memory.

[...]

In June 2017, O'Riordan and Hogan started emailing album ideas and demos back and forth to each other. O'Riordan had been very open about her struggles with mental health and addiction, which would affect the band at times, but they wanted to make a new album. Hogan says that when they were emailing those demos, she was in a good place. They started laying down her demos.

"All of that was kind of behind her," Hogan says. "She's kind of found a way to cope with the mental health thing. That's why she wanted to write so much. That's what she kept saying, 'I have so much to say, I just need the music to put it to.' "

Hogan says O'Riordan's apparent stability is what made her death even more tragic and devastating. (Officials ruled O'Riordan's cause of death to be accidental drowning due to alcohol intoxication.) But after a period of mourning, the remaining band members remembered they still had O'Riordan's demos. As Hogan remembers, they finally had the courage to start listening to them again in late February and, with her family's permission, started recording in April. "We spoke to her family and said, 'Look, how do you feel about us finishing the album?' And they were really supportive," Lawler says. "They were delighted, actually. They gave us their blessing."

Hogan says, in a sense, they were used to O'Riordan not being in the studio when they recorded — "Dolores hated hanging around the studio once we worked on our parts" — but, of course, this time was different.

71) Raleigh Ritchie - “Time In A Tree”

Exercise time. Play the first minute or so of this song without looking at any YouTube visuals.

/waits for you

OK, who are you picturing singing this? Got your image?

Well, whatever it was, you’re wrong -- it’s GREY WORM HIMSELF.

This was the best thing about “Game of Thrones” in 2019, sadly.

70) Culture Abuse - “Goo”

Simple, effective, gets out before you can dislike much.

69) Lil Pump f/ Lil Wayne - “Be Like Me”

Sometimes, a song starts, and you can just tell it’s going to be ignorant. Even before the vocals kick in. This was probably our moment here:

Between that and the beat, it’s like the only thing you can think is “Ohhhh, he’s about to say some horrible things about women.”

Other choice lines:

- “Yes, I’m hella ignorant, I don’t give a fuck” (he even says it in the song)

- “I take drugs like it’s Vitamin C / I’m a millionaire, but I don’t know how to read”

This song almost feels like it existed already.

68) The Get Up Kids - “Satellite”

Finally, our first rock song with some punch. This probably takes the crown from both DMB and P.O.D.

67) Bad Religion - “My Sanity”

BR is historically my favorite band, so it is rather deflating to see them so far back on this list. That said, it is Year 40 (!!!) of their existence, so some can be forgiven. Yet... we’ve never needed them more, you know? It’s this weird mixture of resentment but understanding.

66) Billy Liar - “The Righteous & The Rats”

Gonna see him (them?) open for The Bombpops in March; looks quite promising. Has an old school Brit punk feel.

65) Beach Slang - “AAA”

Beach Slang never lets you forget they love -- no, like, LOVE -- The Replacements. When this cover dropped, I googled “replacements AAA”, and, surprisingly, nothing came up.

Ohhh, what I fool I was. After more digging, I discovered a band called Grandpaboy who performed “AAA”.

“Oh, damn -- he finally went outside the box with this pick.”

No. Grandpaboy is fronted by Paul Westerberg. Singer of, you guessed it, The Replacements.

James Alex wears his heart on his sleeve so hard, he might as well give the heart a little jacket so his heart can wear its own heart on its sleeve.

HE DID THAT TOO?!

You can’t even make jokes about this band; they live in the jokes with their damn earnestness.

64) Gesaffelstein & The Weeknd - “Lost In The Fire”

Even lesser known Weeknd-involved tracks sound like they could lead a soundtrack or close out a festival. Are you familiar with this one at all? It has 87 million views on YouTube. Abel is never not not playing.

63) FIDLAR - “By Myself”

Started from the bottom and I’m still at the bottom

Falling apart never felt so carefree and burdenless.

62) Constant Elevation - “Fuck Runnin”

As hardcore punk as this list is gonna get. All glory to Vinnie Caruana. Though none of his solo tracks from 2019 made it, this has an undeniable energy and confidence. Plus probably the best song title of the year.

61) Maren Morris f/ Brandi Carlile - “Common”

A focused duet that drills into relationship dynamics before throwing a personal theology wrench in the middle of the chorus.

60) Anti-Flag - “Christian Nationalist”

AF going in on the white, religious right. This is like throwing a 50 mph pitch to -- /looks up good baseball players -- Pete Alonso.

59) Cokie The Clown - “Punk Rock Saved My Life”

This is less of a song and more of a confessional essay, and it gets harder and harder to look away with every revealing detail. If NOFX’s Fat Mike needed this character as a vehicle to get all of these autobiographical details off his chest, hopefully it’s a helpful therapy.

58) White Reaper - “Might Be Right”

“Judy French” is such an untoppable song, but “Might Be Right” has a similar dynamic.

57) Denzel Curry - “RICKY”

Denzel Curry as a rap moniker is such a slam dunk.

/looks up actual name

!!!

56) Ariana Grande - “break up with your girlfriend, i’m bored”

It takes a special kind of hot girl twisted to issue this unflinching request while totally pulling it off.

55) Goody Grace f/ blink-182 - “Scumbag”

Not sure if Goody is a Soundcloud rapper, punk rocker, or some kinda emo hybrid of both.

A few asides:

- Have we ever -- ever -- heard Travis Barker this subdued on drums?

- On the Blink-155 podcast, Goody said he gave Tom from the Plain White T’s a songwriting credit because he unintentionally lifted some melodies from “Hey There Delilah”, but... I really don’t hear it at all; like, it sounds maybe in the same key but not much else?

54) Jonas Brothers - “Sucker”

Despite their popularity in the past, I do not think I could name a single JoBros song. That changed in 2019 with this poppy, light, clappy, Maroon 5-style single.

53) Goo Goo Dolls - “Money, Fame & Fortune”

Someone -- coulda sworn it was Brendan Kelly -- said this was Goo Goo Dolls sounding like Fake Problems, and that is spot on.

52) AJJ - “A Poem”

A poem is song that no one cares about

This short, folky tune led to one of my favorite Twitter exchanges of the year, when I reached out to a music journalist with a question and AJJ came flying off the top rope.

51) DaBaby - “Suge”

This song is fun, but I really don’t get it. Beat is cool, flow is fine... this is the new face of hip-hop? His name is DaBaby! What are we doing here?!

50) Laura Stevenson - “Jesus, Etc.”

Taking a classic and doing it full justice/adding some harmonies.

49) blink-182 - “Not Another Christmas Song”

Blink’s 2019 album “Nine” was very, very bad because it tried too hard and was not good. This song, released later in the year, takes an opposite approach and actually works. We get lyrics that are discontent, even clumsy at times -- the “I miss fucking in the rain” line is so out of place/cringe-y but actually feels real and not workshopped by 10 producers. The trio can hopefully use this better b-side to figure out the best songwriting should flow out of you without having to go through multiple stations on a conveyor belt first.

48) Dave Hause - “Eye Aye I”

This song has a lot I love (catchy chorus, wistful thoughts, hairline analyses) and a lot I don’t (genuine use of the word “old bores”, Van Halen getting respect), but one thing is clear: Dave Hause is in complete control.

47) Beck - “Up All Night”

I’ve casually followed Beck’s entire career and would not have guessed this was him if given 100 chances. As an exercise, I’m going to pull up the 2020 Coachella lineup and randomly point to an artist.

/pulls up lineup and points

I got Daniel Caesar. If you told me this was Daniel Caesar, that would probably make more sense here.

46) Shawn Mendes - “If I Can’t Have You”

Randomly came into Shawn Mendes tickets in 2019, and good gracious, that was something. Other than parents, we were the oldest people there by a lot. Getting to watch thousands of teens and preteens legitimately having the best moment of their lives was downright inspiring. When you’re that young, it’s not even hyperbole. Phones were flagrantly out; I’m talking 20+ minutes of straight video being filmed. I wanted to judge so badly, but if you gave me an iPhone at my first concert when I was 14, who the hell knows how egregious my behavior would’ve been. As fun as the whole experience was, I never wanted to be in a grimy punk club more. Sometimes, leaving your comfort zone makes you appreciate your home base more.

This is a rock solid pop song, but there are way too many you/you rhymes to not penalize it some.

45) Big Thief - “Cattails”

The whitest song you will ever hear that isn’t written by Vampire Weekend.

44) Bayside - “Prayers”

Bayside went super metal with their 2019 release “Interrobang” (such a sick name). So yes, the guitars are a touch harder than you might be used to, but the chorus soars; a great hook transcends genre.

43) Naughty Boy & Mike Posner - “Live Before I Die”

Few had as interesting of a year as Mike Posner. Following a breakup, the death of his father, and the death of Avicii, he decided to walk across the United States of America. He legit became Forrest Gump, right down to the beard and grown out hair.

In the video, you can see how a snakebite hospitalized him and almost derailed the whole trek. After a rehabilitation period where he almost lost his leg, our man finally makes it to the Pacific Ocean. If nothing else, watch for the ending -- it’s exhilarating.

42) Post Malone - “Wow.”

Post is flexing in this one; we’ve got slow motion jamming with the Red Hot Chili Peppers, international flights, a dancing beard guy, and a Fall Out Boy name check which really makes them sound cooler than they are now.

41) Bryce Vine f/ YG - “La La Land”

Sometimes, these summertime Cali songs write themselves. That is until YG comes in and flips over the board before you can finish the game. By the time the Coachella reference is dropped when Bryce comes back in, you realize 1:47 may have actually been a better endpoint for the song than its 2:47 length.

40) David Rokos - “Backseat Drives”

It’s winter in Chicago, again and until forever. If you haven’t been to the Jewel in the South Loop or Marshall Field’s before they changed it, just listen to this so you don’t actually have to.

39) Simple Creatures - “Drug”

Mark Hoppus and the dude from All Time Low give us this synth-pop bop that feels like the duo shooting their shot at a real mainstream pop hits. It didn’t quite get there, but they should feel OK about where it landed.

38) Chris Cresswell - “To The Wind”

My interest in The Flatliners ramped up considerably in 2019, as their near decade old record “Cavalcade” got plenty of spins (peep “Filthy Habits”; just stunningly incredible punk). Though they did not release anything this year, their singer put out “To The Wind”, a longing song about missing someone.

37) Kesha f/ Big Freedia - “Raising Hell”

Kesha, with the help of New Orleans’ Big Freedia, gives us another one. I’ve personally dug Kesha for a while now, but when is it time for us as a society to put her into the all-time conversation for pop artists? She has at least, like, seven HOF certifiable bangers. Plus she kills a guy in this music video.

In conclusion, I think this could translate to a country song very easily.

36) No Lenox - “Marquee”

Illinois/Japan’s No Lenox are back with Reuben Baird on the mixer and legendary masterer Collin Jordan (of The Boiler Room) on the, well, master, and the fullness in sound leads to the assault that is the “I saw your name on the marquee / Your friends were milling around outside” part. They only play it once, but I really could’ve gone for closer to five.

35) Red City Radio - “Love A Liar”

Rapid fire Red City Radio gets this one done in exactly 120 seconds.

34) Barely March - “Lead Single”

This sounds like Joyce Manor turned up to a 17 out of 10 before unexpectedly turning into a hellogoodbye song.

33) New Lenox - “Old Words”

Not a typo from two songs ago -- legitimately a different band. This one was written by your boy. The first 15 seconds were from a demo recorded 1/2/16 before developing the rest in 2019 (after some encouragement). We have Dave Rokos on guitar/bass, Dave Hernandez on hums, and Brian Bedford on some very temporary sleigh bells. Themes: online dating, resolutions, exes, currents, Black Wednesday, hope, and Carly Rae Jepsen stage banter.

32) MakeWar - “Sails”

Honey, I can’t make it on my own

You might get some Gaslight Anthem vibes as the vocals come in, but by the time the song ends, MakeWar leaves their own imprint on this impassioned ballad.

31) Sheryl Crow & Johnny Cash - “Redemption Day”

Was gonna say Johnny’s voice could move mountains before realizing no, Johnny’s voice is the mountains.

30) American Football f/ Hayley Williams - “Uncomfortably Numb”

Sensitivity deprived I can't feel a thing inside I blamed my father in my youth Now as a father, I blame the booze

An unlikely collaboration that makes you forget about its unlikeliness by the two minute mark. The two voices trade spots, mesh, harmonize, and weave throughout this beautiful song.

Asides:

- Blake from “Workaholics” in the video?!

- Choose to interpret this song’s title as a Pink Floyd diss

- “I’ll make new friends in the ambulance” should be a 2005-level emo lyric that we all mock, yet it’s somehow one of the most stunningly appropriate closers of the entire year

- I wish my friend Luke was with us to hear it

29) Stuck Out Here - “Embarrass You”

Stuck Out Here got onto my radar with 2014′s amazingly named “Getting Used To Feeling Like Shit”. Five years later, they’re back -- and not feeling much better. The Toronto quartet’s Bandcamp describes the song like this:

They’re fucking up, but unlike previous releases, they’re finally holding themselves accountable.

You can even kinda hear their Canadian accents in the “I’m sorry I embarrass you...” part.

28) The Weeknd - “Heartless”

The Weeknd will be on these lists as long as he continues to make music even 1/8th as good as this.

27) The Chainsmokers f/ blink-182 - “P.S. I Hope You’re Happy”

A simple song that’s a touch more clever than you first realize. The Chainsmokers guy is giving me some real Owl City vibes. Also, how airtight of an apology is the line “I blame myself for when I was someone else”. It’s like the modern way of saying “When I was a child, I spoke like a child”.

Also also, the “I will find a way somehow...” harmony in the pre-chorus is as pretty as music got in 2019. The Chainsmokers are so sonically pleasing, whether you end up liking the music or not.

26) Vampire Weekend - “Harmony Hall”

ooooooooh, that crisp guitar in the intro

25) Alex Lahey - “Don’t Be So Hard On Yourself”

If Carly Rae Jepsen can get a sword, why can’t Alex Lahey get a god damn saxophone? HIT ME.

That solo, combined with the “Mighty Ducks” reference in the chorus, make this song untouchable.

24) Lizzo - “Truth Hurts”

Let’s be clear: this did drop in 2017 but was technically re-released in 2019, so it does qualify for our list despite the criteria threatening timeline. Anyway.

The walking piano part, the iconic intro line (with a lawsuit!), the Minnesota Vikings reference (causing a Green Bay radio edit), and all of the damn positivity. Lizzo was among music’s big winners this year, and her success made you wonder how the hell someone this talented was slept on for those two years.

Let’s end with the purse.

23) An Horse - “Ship Of Fools”

Awkward band name, but a song that makes you pay attention. Kinda like Tegan and Sara, had they stayed more rock. So much urgency in the vocals and lyrics.

22) Charli XCX f/ Lizzo - “Blame It On Your Love”

Trippy vid; Charli continues to give us anthems. Wasn’t super high on the Lizzo cameo, but it somehow made more sense in the context of said video.

21) Sincere Engineer - “Dragged Across The Finish Line”

Sincere Engineer is back -- you can tell from the second those guitar leads get goin’. Drums from 1:19 to 1:36 = /heart eyes emoji. My buddy Cox said his next tattoo very well could be the outro lyric “Too dumb to succeed, too honest to cheat”.

(Bonus fact: they did a beer collaboration/show with Pollyanna Brewing Company in 2019.)

20) Lil Nas X - “Old Town Road”

Was unwilling to listen when this first dropped solely because of how horrible Lil Nas X’s name is (”What if a rapper came out named ‘Lil Jay-Z X’?!”)... what a foolish notion. One billion streams and a Billy Cyrus cameo later, I wouldn’t have been able to miss out on the Song of the Summer (and year) if I tried. More notes:

- Picked this because I had to, but “Panini” is legit good (200+ million streams)

- Went with the original (sorry, Billy), which is a beautiful 1:53 long (brevity, brevity, brevity)

- Did you know: Lil Nas X uses a Nine Inch Nails sample on the beat? This Rolling Stone interview with Trent Reznor is super interesting

Reznor calls “Old Town Road” “undeniably hooky,” but once it exploded, he took a back seat to the phenomenon. “The reason I haven’t stepped in to comment anything about it is, I don’t feel it’s my place to play any kind of social critic to that,” he says. “It was a material that was used in a significant way and it turned into something that became something else, and those guys should be the ones the spotlight is on…. They asked if I wanted to do a cameo in the video, and it was flattering, and I don’t mean to be disrespectful, but I don’t feel like it’s my place to shine a light on me for that. I say that with complete respect.”

Still, Reznor is amazed at how the song became a juggernaut. “Having been listed on the credits of the all-time, Number One whatever-the-fuck-it-is wasn’t something…I didn’t see that one coming,” he says. “But the world is full of weird things that happen like that. It’s flattering. But I don’t feel it’s for me to step in there and pat myself on the back for that.”

19) Gryffin & Carly Rae Jepsen - “OMG”

What doesn’t this little bop have? It’s kinda Chainsmoker-y and tingles like cool breath hitting the back of your neck.

18) Craig Finn - “Blankets”

You travel your whole life just to get out to the place you’re gonna die

I love everything about this song: the artwork, the intro, the climax, the command Craig Finn has from start to finish -- with such a payoff. Now several albums in, the greatest compliment we can give is that his solo stuff now feels more essential than Hold Steady releases*. You can even hear it in this line: “When we got to the Twin Cities / I said ‘Man, I know some songs about this place’”. Another life.

17) Carly Rae Jepsen - “Now That I Found You”

Carly always keeps us in the sky; picking one song was difficult because the album is even more fulfilling as you get to put the pieces together.

16) Billie Eilish - “Bad Guy”

Different genres*, but Billie Eilish lived up to her hype in the exact same way Lana Del Rey did in the earlier part of the decade. Lana said she was the gangster Nancy Sinatra and totally fucking was. Billie feels like something potentially even bigger. Nearly everything about her aura lets you project (or even second guess, if you’re a skeptic). Is she dead-eyed because she’s high or disaffected? Or just Aubrey Plaza? Is it her or her brother that’s pulling the strings? How can someone so young be so good already? In the skinny fashion era of All Achilles Everything, how is she rocking such loose fits?

“I never want the world to know everything about me. I mean that’s why I wear big baggy clothes,” she said. “Nobody can have an opinion because they haven’t seen what’s underneath.”

“Nobody can be like ‘Oh, she’s slim-thick, she’s not slim-thick, she’s got a flat ass, she’s got a fat ass,’” she continued. “No one can say any of that because they don’t know.”

It almost seems too easy, but how much sense does that make to you?

Great jokes aside, I have so much anticipation for what’s next, with assured belief in its potential. Pitchfork:

In 10 years, she will still be well under 30. Let’s hope the planet survives that long.

Yes.

(* - though not totally)

15) Ben Gibbard - “Filler”

Before you check Gibbard’s, please listen to the original by Minor Threat. That’s what he had to work with. From there, a total transformation while doing the near impossible -- keeping its beating heart.

14) Martha - “Wrestlemania VIII”

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Third favorite song title of the year/favorite music video of the year. This is energetic, bratty punk at its finest; also surprised to find out it was British, but, based on the upcoming tour dates and YouTube description...

This is a silly & frankly quite rubbish video but when you are a band trapped within surveillance capitalism's endless hunger for content trying to promote a tour sometimes things will be a silly & frankly quite rubbish.

I love them. Seriously didn’t even notice the accents in the singing until I knew to look for them; now, it’s all I can hear. Also, the part in the video where they finally show someone with an instrument, only he stops playing guitar halfway into the solo (/crying emoji).

THEY SAY ABSENCE MAKES THE HEART GROW FONDA

13) Chance The Rapper f/ Ben Gibbard - “Do You Remember”

Chance The Rapper dropped a one hour and 17 minute album in 2019 because he is a monster. I could not name three songs on it, but this one stood out big. It’s Chano doing what he does best: reminiscing and evoking summer in his city. Gibbard on the hook gives it that 2005 nostalgia while also making you say “Damn, it’s been nearly 15 years since 2005?!”

Fav two lines:

1) “Used to have obsession with the ‘27 Club’ / Now I'm turning 27, wanna make it to the 2070 club / Put the 27's down, Lord, give me a clean lung / Took the ring up out the box, I know this ain't no brief love”

2) “That summer left a couple tan lines / I love my city, they let me cut the line on the Dan Ryan”

(If you know, you know.)

Two more asides:

- If you Google “death cab for cutie”, the next autofill from there is “do you remember”. Rough for the legacy.

- “My daughter on the swing like the 2017 Cubs” is a line that confused me, but here’s how Genius explained it:

Chance is talking about a memorable summer and the things that made him happy. This line continues that theme when he raps about his daughter happily on a swing and how that’s similar to the 2017 Cubs. The Chicago Cubs won the World Series in 2016; therefore, the 2017 season was one of celebration and relaxation as the pressure of the 108 year drought was over.

12) Lana Del Rey - “The Greatest”

I miss Long Beach, and I miss you...

Listening to this song feels like watching the cement dry on a classic in real time. Lana Del Rey’s galactic “Norman Fucking Rockwell!” dominated lists at the end of 2019, and she -- to borrow her word -- fucking deserved it.

- The Beach Boys line is so god damn perfect

- The guitar solo (soooo sick)

- The breathy singing; the crooning; the notes that go up and then down until you’re surrounded by melody

- The perfection of this album name (minus the very iffy exclamation point) will have me comparing nearly any other all-time album title for probably the rest of our lives

- Tried playing this album during my Monday night pickup basketball run, and it very much failed... but that’s about the only thing it couldn’t do

- I’m told the dude with her on the album cover is Jack Nicholson’s grandson (named Duke Nicholson, because of course)

11) Off With Their Heads - “No Love”

If you do not like punk rock, this will be unlistenable. If you do, what a treat! I love how dissatisfied and put off he sounds, and, while there are a few more lively songs remaining on the list, none in 2019 got fast-tracked to my workout/pump up playlist at this speed.

Factoring in the band’s van accident (occurred after the release of this song), the “There’s nothing I could say that’s ever gonna make it right” outro becomes hauntingly clairvoyant.

10) Drake f/ Rick Ross - “Money In The Grave”

We need to face facts: it was a down year for stadium hip-hop. Nowhere on this list do you see Jay, Em, Kendrick, or Kanye (rest in peace). This was my favorite rap song of the year, and it couldn’t even crack the Top 5. Similar to his beloved Raptors -- who are being celebrated here -- it’s almost as if Drake needed some injuries outside his own locker room to get the crown. But I’m done being bummed, let’s focus on the good:

- Ohhhh, the intro (”I mean where. the fuck. should I. really even start?”)

- The way he says “grave” in the hook like he can barely contain

- The hook itself -- read it out loud: “When I die, put my money in the grave”

- How cool Ross sounds when he breaks in

- The Zion reference

The bad:

- Rarely take this angle, but really wouldn’t mind if it were longer

- Misogyny

9) PUP - “Bloody Mary, Kate And Ashley”

Second favorite song title of the year, 6/8 time signature, satanic references, drugs, hallucinations (maybe), and, yes, the Olsen twins.

8) Better Oblivion Community Center - “Sleepwalkin’”

“It’s impossible to count...”

The intro, as the tempo gets jarringly slower and slower, ironically helps you acclimate quicker. This Phoebe Bridgers/Conor Oberst collab was my No. 1 played track of 2019 (the album coming out in January definitely helped). The song builds to Phoebe’s solo part:

You like beer and chocolate I like setting off those bottle rockets We can never compromise But fighting 'til the death keeps us alive

It’s sung so well, you can almost feel the heat of the spotlight on her through the stereo. The lyrics could be anything.

The chill guitar solo takes us out.

7) AM Taxi - “Saint Jane”

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Adam Krier is such a rockstar, he had me shouting “I’m no hero, at best a zero!” within my fifth listen -- and I was skeptical as hell when I first heard the line. But that’s about where it stopped. You can tell this song is going to rip even before the vocals come in. When they do (”These fears don’t die, you get older and they multiply”), it’s just fucking time to go.

6) Taylor Swift - “Paper Rings”

My favorite pop song of 2019. Tay is firing on all cylinders; every lyric is exactly where it’s supposed to be; boppy and fun and sincere (while still being light-hearted). Still holding out minor hope it will be a single in 2020.

5) Pkew Pkew Pkew - “The Polynesian”

I’ve always said the best songs make you want to live the lyrics, whether they are positive or negative. This one had me researching “polynesian wisconsin” faster than I’m comfortable disclosing. And yes “bed bugs” and “needles” were both in the Top 7 recommended searches after those first two words.

Pkew Pkew Pkew collaborated with Craig Finn on some of their lyrics on 2019′s “Optimal Lifestyles”, and I’d be blown away if he doesn’t have fingerprints on this one -- the storytelling is pristine. Go into this open-minded, and I’d be shocked if you weren’t shouting the “Goatees, tall cans, camo pants, and Packers fans” mantra by the end.

Bonus story: this St. Patrick’s day in Chicago, I asked my friend Sara (Wisconsin native) if she’d ever stayed there, and she held up her elbow and showed me a scar from the hotel’s water slide. Your boy was over the moon.

4) Spanish Love Songs - “Losers”

It gets harder, doesn’t it?

Dylan Slocum has a way of not just writing depressing songs -- many lyricists are good at that -- but specifically depressing songs. This song contemplates death, homelessness, squandering your limited time on the planet, credit card debt, leeching off your parents because you have no other choice, crippling illness, and completely giving up because there genuinely is no other choice. The last lines are, without any hint of winking, “We’re mediocre. We’re losers. Forever.”

It’s wonderful.

Two straight Top 4 finishes for SLS; their 2020 album should be something special.

3) oso oso - “the view”

If Jade Lilitri is making personal progress in “microscopic strides”, you wouldn’t be able to tell by his songwriting. Every tune has a way of warming up your entire body and being. This grabs you, whether it’s the laid back guitar or the mismatched quick drums or the big ass chorus. While it came down to this one or “basking in the glow” (an actual single), the bridge here puts us over the top:

But not as much as the phone ringing Not as much playing my house Not as much as the way her goddamn voice sounds It's like taking in sun And then taking it back I fall into old habits I'm stepping over your cracks again

Her voice? This song.

2) The Menzingers - “Strangers Forever”

This song makes me want to rip up walls, sprint through streets with no destination, shred my lungs screaming off rooftops, bash hands drumming the steering wheel until my sprained fingers beg me to stop. It is such a perfect encapsulation of my favorite band of the decade and possibly of all-time.

Scranton’s sons gave me everything and more from 2010 through 2019, so it’s fitting they end so high here. This is probably the most clownable sentence of them all, but I am so constantly thankful I am alive to experience Greg Barnett’s songwriting. What he creates, I can only compare to the best books or movies or athletes or even personal relationships.

The way the guitar alternates in the headphones to start, the drums that go big and push the song along, the reverb vox that certainly could have less reverb, the “it is what it is”-style lyric of “My miserable memory’s making me more miserable”, the oceanic imagery, the quiet bridge that explodes into a final chorus. Barnett said the overall theme was inspired by Leo Tolstoy’s “Anna Karenina”.

In it, the character Darya Alexandrovna learns of her husbands infidelity and declares: “Even if we remain in the same house, we are strangers — strangers forever!” The idea of becoming a stranger to someone you so intimately know stuck with me, and became the overarching narrative to this song. Dolly’s statement is definitive, but she also realizes the trappings of 19th century patriarchal Russian society. It’s a complex conundrum, and while lyrically I speak in the first person, this song exists in a world outside of my own personal experiences. I wanted to write about the finality of relationships that need to end this way. Strangers Forever.

My only gripe is I wish there were more. But I’m the same person who never wants them to stop.

1) Signals Midwest f/ Sincere Engineer - “Your New Old Apartment”

Only one song could make me fear missing the chance to be with the love of my life the same year I married her. As discussed in “The Polynesian”, the best songs have the consistent ability to put you in someone else’s shoes. You are either reliving something you personally experienced or maybe taking it all in for the first time. And that can be powerful -- especially dealing with anything big picture.

“Your New Old Apartment” launches me into 2009 without ever asking. Age: 23. My life was transient, I had no career, I didn’t even believe in marriage. I left my retail job in the Chicago suburbs for an unpaid newspaper internship in New Jersey. When I saw the people I loved, I always tried to make it count. Still do.

The descriptors and feeling are suffocating, right from the jump:

I only saw you a couple times last year Once at a wedding, once at a funeral I wore the same clothes to both, and I was worried you would notice ‘cause yours were impeccable

That’s me, then. Not knowing how to dress but hoping to get by anyway. I remember talking to my buddy P before buying my “work clothes” and learning you needed to match your shoes with your belt. Boyish adulthood.

The song continues, and the narrator is filled in on 5-year plans. It may be cliche to speak, but every current moment is simultaneously your youngest and oldest. Being in my early 30s now, it is so easy to scoff at anyone’s best laid plans, but I’m also the same cat who thought The Wonder Years’ “Jesus Christ, I’m 26 / All the people I graduated with / All have kids, all have wives, all have people who care if they come home at night” was life-defining, because I was the same age when that dropped, and it always hits the hardest when it’s all around you.

What I love about these lyrics are the careful observation mixed with mature-behind-his-years restraint. For a very long time in my life, I did not think I would get to be with my wife as anything more than a friend. When you are forced to come to terms with those potential realities, you must make concessions and convince yourself they’re OK. So when it’s revealed the narrator’s muse is married, he resigns himself to hopefully seeing the person more and at least being adjacent to the life they are living. It is tragic but still something. It is alternate hope in the hopeless.

I can picture myself listening to this song that wasn’t yet written while leaving a 2009 or 2010 or 2013 wedding and wishing I told her everything. But I wouldn’t have -- not then. I would have poured my heart out into a diary and quoted a line or three from this at the bottom. But that was then, this is now.

In 2019, her new old apartment will be my new old apartment, and that will never be lost on me.

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* * *

Bonus coverage. Since we are at the end of the decade, I rounded up our No. 1 song from each year and have that below:

2010: The Menzingers - “Time Tables” 2011: Jay-Z & Kanye West - “Gotta Have It” 2012: Carly Rae Jepsen - “Call Me Maybe” 2013: Kanye West - “On Sight” 2014: The Menzingers - “Where Your Heartache Exists” 2015: Big Sean f/ Kanye West - “All Your Fault” 2016: The Menzingers - “Lookers” 2017: The Menzingers - “After The Party” 2018: Horror Squad - “I Smoke The Blood” 2019: Signals Midwest f/ Sincere Engineer - “Your New Old Apartment”

* * *

It’s time to stop writing. Thank you so much for reading.

Spotify playlist is here, featuring 70 of the 75.

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shotgunxeyes · 7 years

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What are your favorite songs atm?? (Write down 10-20 songs, I know its hard to choose + your favorite lyric from the song) i need to expand my musical taste Mine are: 1- Bird Set Free - Sia But theres a scream inside that we all try to hide/we hold on tight/ we cannot deny/it eat us alive 2- Moonlight - Ariana Grande I'm wishing he's all mine / he's giving me Elvis / with some James Dean in his eyes 3- 505- Arctic Monkeys I'd probably still adore you with your hands around my neck/ or I did last time I checked A knife twists at the thought that I should fall short of the mark 4- Cornerstone - Arctic Monkeys Tell me wheres your hiding place / Im worried Ill forget your face / And Ive asked everyone / Im beginning to think I imagined you all along 5- Water Under the Bridge - Adele If you're gonna let me down / let me down gently / dont pretend that you dont want me / our love aint water under the bridge 6- Rumour Has It - Adele But rumour has it he's the one Im leaving you for 7- 17- Avril Lavigne We were on the top of the world / back when I was your girl / we were living so wild and free / acting stupid for fun / all we needed was love / thats the way its supposed to be 8- Good Grief - Bastille Caught off guard by your favorite song / ill be dancing at a funeral / sleeping in the clothes you love / its such a shame to see them burn 9- Sign of the Times - Harry Styles Just stop your crying / its a sign of the times / welcome to the final show / hope youre wearing your best clothes 10- Green Light - Lorde Well those rumours, they have big teeth / hope they bite you / thought you said that you would always be in love / but youre not in love no more 11- Something Just Like This - The Chainsmokers Im not looking for somebody with some superhuman gifts / just something I can turn to / somebody I can kiss 12- Lust For Life - Lana del Rey + The Weeknd They say only the good die young / that just aint right / cause we're having too much fun / too much fun tonight 13- Daddy Issues - The Neighbourhood I tried to write your name in the rain / but the rain never came / so I made with the sun / the shade, always come at the worst time 14- BITE - Troye Sivan Kiss me on the mouth and set me free / But please dont bite 15- YOUTH - Troye Sivan My youth is yours / a truth so loud you cant ignore We've got no time for getting old / mortal body timeless souls 16- Forget - Marina and the Diamonds Yeah I've been dancing with the devil / I love that he pretends to care / If Ill ever get to heaven / When a million dollars gets you there 17- Hard Times - Paramore Gonna make you wonder why you even try / gonna take you down and laugh when you cry / and I still dont know how Ill even survive / i gotta get to rock bottom omg this took a long time,, anything remotely emo is glitteriah's fault, and anything remotely indie is aussie's fault Im tagging @glitteriah (for some mariah carey and emo shit, jk love u dahling) @in-order-in-a-black-hole (the king of indie music) annd @mariahcareyfan (even more mariah carey) Please answer the tag or Ill hunt you down dahhlings :) Fell free to tag some more people

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finalmusicproject-blog1 · 7 years

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Case Study Three (Alyssa): “Modern Day”

The art of covering and remixing has become an even more prominent practice in the past couple of years. Sampling is more common, with artists like Kanye West and Beyoncé taking beats and lyrics of other songs to create their own. Most common of all, as we have seen through the years, has been more well-known artists covering or remixing less prevalent artist’s songs and making them more popular. This leaves us to question the authenticity of the song as it did not originally come from this artist; they changed the sound a little, put a different name to it, and took the credit for it.

One example of this is the newest Remix of Puerto Rican singer Luis Fonsi’s song “Despacito”.

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The original song was released in January of 2017, featuring Daddy Yankee, who is a famous hispanic artist. The newest remix that came out in late April of 2017 includes a feature from pop icon Justin Bieber. Bieber has been number one on the charts various times, and is one of the most popular artists of our time.

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The remix has Justin Bieber singing most of the song; it starts with Justin singing a verse, and then cuts to the original bridge of the song, and then has Justin singing the chorus and the remainder of the bridges in the song. The song was popular on its own in the charts, falling in-between the top 50’s and 40’s consistently on the Billboard Top 100 charts since its release in January. In the first week of the release of the remix with Justin Bieber, the song immediately jumped to number 9 on the charts. In the song’s very short lifespan, it has risen to number one in Global Top Hits playlist on Spotify as well as number three on Top Hits USA. It has also remained in the Top 10 songs on the iTunes charts. According to an article by People Magazine, because of the remix pushing the song into the Top 10, this is the first time a Spanish-language song has been in the Top 10 in 20 years, the last time being the release of the Macarena. According to the article, Justin heard the song in a nightclub, saw the crowd’s reaction, and decided that he wanted to remix the song because he knew it would blow up. Sure, the song was doing pretty well on its own, but its authentic Spanish flow and sound has almost seemed to have been drowned out by the pop stylings of Justin making his own English verse on top of the beat and then singing the rest of the song in Spanish. With Justin’s pop influence on the song, it is doing better than ever before. Is the song popular because of its different stylings and hispanic beats, or just because a popular American artist put his name on it?

When it comes to sampling, the tactic is so popular in our time that it is almost impossible to know if a beat is ever original. Most of the popular songs that we know by the most famous of artists have been sampled by previous songs, yet now that they have a newer, more trending name behind them, they are more popular.

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As you can see in these videos, some of the most popular artists such as Beyoncé and Ariana Grande have made hit songs off of beats that were not original. So are these songs technically their original song?

One of the biggest examples of this is Kanye West. Kanye is known for his eccentric style and unique music that is different from what others are producing, but is it really unique?

In this article by Paste Magazine (see Resources below), it shows all of the songs that Kanye had sampled up to that point, and almost all of these songs were top hits. However, some of the samples barely even changed, using the same exact beat/lyrics but just adding raps to them. Even in his newer albums, namely his newest titled The Life of Pablo II, almost all of the songs were sampled from multiple other songs, as you can see in FactMag (see resources below).

Kanye has made his living off of using other people’s music in order to create his own, but is this truly considered authentic, and is it justifiable to say that his style is “unique:? In the documentary Copyright Criminals we watched for class, artists who sampled other artists music were considered lazy for not creating their own original sounds. So if this is almost always looked down on, why are songs so popular when a majority of the work these artists create are not truly their own?

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deadcactuswalking · 6 years

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REVIEWING THE CHARTS: 23rd July 2018

Welp, nothing happened. Very stale week for the most part.

Top 10

Delightful – the worst single Drake’s released since “Pop Style”, “In My Feelings” featuring uncredited vocals from the City Girls, has gone up three spots from last week’s debut, making it our current chart-topper, surprisingly not replacing Drake himself, but we’ll get to that. At least City Girls, Magnolia Shawty’s family and Lil Wayne are getting money from this being #1 in both the UK and US. God knows they deserve it, well, at least Wayne.

“Shotgun” by George Ezra is somehow still at number-two. This song has a surprising amount of longevity.

Oh, yeah, “Solo” by Clean Bandit featuring Demi Lovato has also kept its place at number-three, which is cool.

Now, we have our first debut on the charts, which, similarly to last week, had its first-week charting position at number-four, the controversially-titled “God is a woman” (yes, it’s stylised in sentence case for no reason) by Ariana Grande, the second single from her upcoming album Sweetener.

Oh, yeah, Drake just won’t leave, as “Don’t Matter to Me” with Michael Jackson and Paul Anka is at a standstill at number-five.

“Rise” by Jonas Blue featuring Jack & Jack is up a spot to number-six. Just lovely.

“Girls Like You” by Maroon 5 featuring Cardi B is also up that single position to number-seven.

“Youngblood” by 5 Seconds of Summer has jumped up three spaces to entering the top 10, at number-eight, and yeah, this definitely deserves it. Good song.

Talking about songs that deserve to finally enter the top 10, “Jackie Chan” by Tiesto and Dzeko featuring Preme and Post Malone has also taken a three-space increase right to number-nine.

Oh, and because of the album hype lessening and dying down, “If You’re Over Me” by Years & Years kind of collapses four spaces to number-ten. It seems to be on its way out, and I’m pretty sure that’s a good thing.

Climbers

There’s not really that many notables this week, but we do have Tyga’s “Taste” featuring Offset entering the top 20 as it moves up eight spaces to #16, “Only You” by Cheat Codes and Little Mix doing the same as it hits #19 after a nine-space increase. “Ring Ring” by Jax Jones featuring Mabel and Rich the Kid also had a lesser increase, only jumping up six spaces to #23.

Fallers

There’s only one fall of note here, but it’s pretty damn interesting how Tom Walker’s “Leave a Light On” just suddenly crashed down 15 spaces to #31... I know adverts only have a short impact on the charts, but I’m surprised by how this was just in free-fall this week, especially since I’ve actually heard it gain some traction on radio... except I checked the statistics and it’s done exactly the opposite. This song massively fell on UK airplay charts, to the point where it’s neck and neck with Meghan freaking Trainor. Yikes.

Dropouts & Returning Entries

Guys, we have just witnessed a chart history milestone: Last week’s #1, “Three Lions” by David Baddiel, Frank Skinner and the Lightning Seeds dropped from the top of the charts to #97, which means it experienced the biggest ever dropout from the top 40 (from #1) and the biggest decrease in UK Singles Chart history, having a 96-space fall. That’s kind of impressive in the weirdest way. I suppose we as a country were so crushed by Croatia winning against us that we decided to crush this song’s chances of any longevity, which I’m not necessarily complaining about, honestly.

Other drop outs from the top 40 include “These Days” by Rudimental featuring Jess Glynne, Dan Caplen and Macklemore, right after it returned for a brief stint at #40 last week, as well as “Moonlight” by XXXTENTACION out from #37. Last week’s incredibly convenient returning entry, “American Idiot” by punk-rockers Green Day is now out from #25, also.

Oh, and “This is Me” by Keala Settle and the Greatest Showman Ensemble is back again at #37, just go away, already!

Now for a new feature:

The Ed Sheeran Update

On this show, we often talk about Ed Sheeran and his inexplicable chart success, well, I figured I’d add something to shake up the formula: a short feature where we talk about how Ed Sheeran fared in the top 100. Well, “Shape of You” jumped up 13 spaces to #73 for no reason at all, and “Perfect” is up three spaces to #58.

Oh, yeah, and “Mr. Brightside” by the Killers? Still holding on. In fact, it just returned to #99 this week.

NEW ARRIVALS

#34 – “Ocean” – Martin Garrix and Khalid

So, this song has been bubbling under for a while now, but on a slow week, it actually was able to have a pretty high debut. It’s no surprise to see Khalid on an EDM track, either, as he also sang on “Silence” by Marshmello last year, and has collaborated with Calvin Harris, albeit on a decidedly very non-EDM track. Well, how does this song compare to the countless collaborations Khalid has popped up with in the last few months?

Well, it doesn’t, at all, because, frankly, I don’t think this song even exists. It’s such a non-presence that after I listened to it – four times, may I add – I could barely even remember the hook’s melody. It has an annoying an unnecessary synth sound that goes on throughout the whole thing, but it had a decently complex drum beat, and Khalid’s performance is smooth as always, even when he dips into his falsetto, but damn, that pre-chorus build-up is powerful. Honestly, this drop is so much of a mess that I’m surprised I have no memory of it. There’s some vocal samples all intertwined with a fast-paced orchestral string loop that only plays once throughout the whole drop, even though it could definitely add a lot of “oomph” to the track, then there’s an out-of-place acoustic guitar riff that is again, the only time you notice that instrument at all in this song. I don’t have any real complaints with this song – it’s mixed near-perfectly (even if I’d appreciate more accentuation on the bass), Khalid’s fantastic, and I’m not saying the all-over-the-place drop is bad, necessarily, it’s just kind of... intangible.

When a song is named after a place or an emotion, you’re going to have to feel that translating into the composition, even if it is completely without lyrics. I think that’s why I’m more appreciative of “SAD!” than a lot of people – you can tell that it successfully, even if you hate it – well, especially if you hate it, makes you sad or at least gets you to realise the effort into making it sound sad. “Plastic Beach” by Gorillaz is another good comparison in terms of places, as it is stiff and noisy like plastic but it still has wave sound effects to paint the background, joyous synths and whale-related lyrics (delivered in a rather plastic monotone), that create a beautiful contrast between the plastic and the beach. It feels like an artificial shore... but “Ocean” is only an ocean in name. It’s weaksauce EDM, that doesn’t feel as powerful as an ocean and definitely isn’t upsetting in any way to capture the “blue” colour of a wave. This is why I like CamelPhat so much. “Panic Room” is urgent but still kind of trapped in a confined space, “Cola” is constantly shaking it up, like a can of coke. They are EDM producers who make the titles fit and matter, but “Ocean”... nah, I can’t feel this. Next.

#30 – “Summertime Magic” – Childish Gambino

Donald Glover, also known as Childish Gambino, recently dropped a surprise-release Summer-themed two-track R&B EP called Summer Pack and the first track of two, obviously gained the most traction. Last time I talked about Glover on this show was when “This is America” debuted, and I wasn’t very impressed, but from what I heard, this new EP harkens back to his 2016 album “Awaken, My Love!”, which I loved, so hopefully I’ll dig this.

Well, it’s less disjointed than “This is America” but it’s definitely not as exciting, as it starts with some dreadfully boring steel pans with barely any accompaniment other than the reverb they’re soaked in, then Gambino comes in and starts singing over some admittedly nice synths, before the hook – which, for a lyrical wordsmith, is oddly and infuriatingly repetitive, especially since it’s full of nonsense words – which covers Gambino’s decent voice in just DJ Mustard-like bass and extra percussion, which definitely picks things up a bit, but not enough. It feels like Summer, alright, but it tries its hardest not to, with all the rain effects and the pretty dreary melodies that surround the vocals that could have made a pretty damn good pop song.

#4 – “God is a woman” – Ariana Grande

I know a lot of people are worried about Sweetener, but personally, I’ve liked all the singles released from it prior to this track, which stirred some controversy for its pretty clickbait title. Of course, the song doesn’t even dare to trip into any religious or political territory, no, it’s a sex song. Why is it called “God is a woman”? Well, because, sex with Ariana is apparently so good that the man will believe afterwards that God is a woman, because the sex was heavenly, yeah, you get the gist. It’s pretty obvious that Grande wouldn’t get right-wing nuts complaining, or a debut this high for a single like this, if it wasn’t for the clickbait-level title. Honey, just make a good, safe song and you will have success, it happened with “no tears left to cry” just a few weeks back. It’s a pretty dumb move to resort to tactics like this when Grande’s such a big star with such a loyal fanbase that people will stream this no matter what you call it.

Oh, yeah, and this song? Well I like the vocal melody here, it’s really nice in the hook, especially when Grande starts to sing more seductively over a surprisingly hard-hitting trap beat, with some heavy bass and a blocky, yet pretty slick drum pattern that makes Grande subconsciously start making Lil Pump-like “yuh” ad-libs in between the lines on the pre-chorus. There’s also a choir of a chorus harmonising with multi-tracked Grande voices, which sing pretty beautifully while Grande belts out some ad-libs. This whole song is so tight and constricted yet has a great final release as its climax, so unlike “Ocean”, everything feels worth it by the end.

Conclusion

“God is a woman” by Ariana Grande takes Best of the Week home, obviously, but nothing else here is good or bad, it’s all just kind of a boring middle-ground. See you next week!

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