#The Audit | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

dcxdpdabbles · 4 months

Note

I JUST SAW THESE POSTS OF DANNY BEING RAS AL GHUL CHILD LIKE THE FIRST THAT IS LIKE 25-30 YEARS OLDER THAN TALIA AND MAKE MY BRAIN WORKS FUCKING WIGGLE!?!?!??

anyway

Danny established the status quo and the disappeared for 20-60 years and the is summoned by Ra where he’s like “Dad you could’ve have called my personal phone you know that right?” And Ra’s like “YOU WENT OFF THE GRID FOR YEARS AND NEVER TOOD ME-!!??!? Now do you look different? Are you eating? What’s with comingoutthesummoningcirclefortheghostking? HMMM???”

“Ah- I knew I forgot something! Let me tell you all about it! I see you brought the whole fam and in laws let’s have dinner and discuss it- AWWWW THATS BABIES!!!” *Damian, Jason, Tim, and Dick being referred to as “babies”*

“Excuse me.” Danny then fucking tackles them in hugs and loves while dodging and/or holding their punches and kicks

"My maternal uncle is coming for a visit and likely evaluate my living arrangements.. We must be at our absolute best when he is here. " Damian announces one evening right as the family is finishing preparing for a night of crime fighting.

Everyone freezes from their respective stations, twisting around to stare at the young Robin in confusion. He doesn't notice; he is too busy making sure his katana is sharpened to perfection and balancing it on his fingertips.

"Baby Bat?" Dick calls, "What do you mean by that?"

Damian pauses in his prep work, approaching the eldest with a pretty impressive scowl. " Mother sent a messenger a few days ago about Uncle's plan audit. Should we fail it, I shall be removed into a different household."

"An audit? Removed?" Steph repeats, confused, but Damian has no idea why. He thought it was pretty apparent that Uncle Daniel would be scoring them, which would determine if Damian would be allowed to continue living within them. He has done so to all of Ra Al Ghul's offspring, and nothing his Grandfather has done has been able to stop him.

How could they think they would have more power than his grandfather?

"When shall Dusan be here?" Father asks, quickly switching on the home security. "What kind of attack should we expect?"

Damian scoffs, "Not the White Ghost. Uncle Dusan is on the other side of the world on a mission for Grandfather. No, Uncle Daniel will be the one conducting the suit. He is the eldest, after all."

Father's eyes narrow behind the white lenses of his masks. "I was unaware your mother had more siblings."

Damian considers the words, wondering how he could politely- at least he shames Alfred- remind his father that his grandfather has been around for hundreds of years. Staying at his peak through the usage of the Lazarus Pit, he has never been short of lovers.

And sometimes those lovers have given him children, many who aged and died naturally, as none has deemed worthy of the Lazarus. All except for one, the First Son, who has never needed the Pits but remained youthful and powerful on his own.

The perfect heir.

It's too bad he had abdicated long before Damian was even a thought.

"Grandfather has had many children, but Uncle Daniel is different. Special. He is the First Son."

"Capital letters," Todd cuts in, shaking his head. "It's never good when the League of Assiasans assigns capital letters. How strong is he?"

"He could easily best Grandfather and all under Grandfather's command," Damian replies, watching as the rest of the vigilantes grew uneasy by the information. It's good that they are wear of Uncle Daniel's power but they have nothing to fear of his wrath. "Uncle Daniel is a pacifist. He carries a protective core."

"A Al Ghul that a pacifist? I'll believe it when I see it." Drake droned as he was clipping on his utility belt. At once, Damian felt his body grew hot with rage. No matter what, it seemed Drake would always curse his family.

The way he says the family name drips with disrespect as if the other teen was saying a swear.

"My Uncle Daniel is a great man!" He shouts, gripping his sword so har his knuckles ache. Drake's face twists as if though he smelled something foul and the rage burning in Damian's chest spreads to his whole body.

He is just about to reach for his throwing knives when a familiar cold hand settles into his hair. "Aw thank you Little One. I love you too."

"Uncle Daniel!" Damian shouts excitably, forgetting the fool he was about to run his blades through. His uncle stands before him, the same darl night hair, warm blue eyes, and a crooked smile that had secretly comforted him in his youth.

"Where in the world did he come from!?" Damian hears one of Father's adopted brutes gasp but does not care to see who as his uncle quickly reels him in for a hug.

Hugging Uncle Daniel was like being wrapped in warm blankets in winter. He always ran rather cold, but it was lovely to be wrapped in his arms and surrounded by his protection.

It felt like nothing in the world could harm him from here.

"You seem well, Little One. Are you happy?" His uncle says. The delict of their native tongue is another comfort Damian can sink into.

"I am." He allows, snuggling his face against his stomach, as childish as it is. If only he could grow taller like his father.

"Wonderful. I'm so glad." His uncle then switches to English, ignoring all the weapons drawn and pointing at him from the Bats. Damian steps back to admire the man he wishes to grow into. "I'm terribly sorry for arriving so late, nephew. You must be tired. When is your bed time?"

"I do not have a bedtime." Damian scoffs. Uncle Daniel frowns, reaching into his chest to pull out a clipboard and a pen- he'll never get used to his uncle storing things within himself no matter how often he sees it. Damian is pretty sure he heard someone gag.

A soft click is heard as his uncle opens the pen and quickly scribbles something down. He is not tall enough to see what is written, but he can see clearly as day that his uncle selected the red ink of the muli-color pen he is using.

He only uses red when he is doing bad things. Damian breaks into a sweat. "What was that? Uncle what did you just write?"

"No bedtime. Tsk tsk." Uncle Daniel mutters, looking around the cave with disapproval. "No proper heating living space."

"Oh no! I do not live down here. This is merely the training grounds. We live upstairs" Damian quickly says, waving his hands frantically in the air as his uncle's unimpressed look. Curses, the auduit just began and already he got bad markings.

"Would you care for a tour? I shall not be going on patrol-"

"He forces you to fight crime? At your age?" Uncle barks, throwing a look of utter disgust at Father. It's the same one he gives Grandfather whenever the older man tries to raise child soldiers.

Even Damian had not been sent on any missions. His childhood had been intense training but nothing that was life-threatening.

"I volunteered to go!" He tries to defend Father, but his uncle only clicks his pen and scrambles more red ink on his paper.

Drat and Damian were actually enjoying living at the manor. He will likely have to say goodbye to it all and be moved to some house Uncle deemed more child-friendly.

"What is your diet here? Have you been taken to the doctor? Any form of therapy?" His uncle fires each question quickly, walking through Todd and Cain when they try to apprehend him without a glance.

His uncle is, and not to sound like the fools of his school, so cool.

#dcxdpdabbles #dc x dp crossover #The Audit #Damian's cool uncle Danny #In which Danny was reborn as Daniel Al Ghul four hundred and ten years ago as Ra's first born son #Then went all Ghost King on him #and now travels the world making sure kid's safety laws are followed #Sorry I know it's not what you were picturing but it's all I could think of.

2K notes · View notes

phrynewrites · 2 years

Note

Are you planning on continuing the rewrite of the dops fic audit? It was one of my favourite ever fics and I would love to see it return!

Hi anon!! I'm so glad that you really enjoyed the fic! It was one of my favorites to write and I really attach it to a great time in my life and an even better time in my writing life.

Right now, I won't be updating the fic for a while. I haven't really had the time recently, as I'm usually burnt out from my job so whenever I have free time, I use it to recover emotionally from it all.

But I do have at least the next few chapters outlined and planned, so if you want to chat about it together until the writing motivation strikes me again, feel free to slip into my inbox/chat and we can talk about it!

#This was such a sweet ask to see #I'm so glad that literally anyone remembers this fic #let alone really liket it #I think at some point I'll be able to bring an update to everyone #but right now the updates simply are not coming #I'd love to talk about dops or the rewrite if anyone wants to though!#for anon #asks answered #the audit

2 notes · View notes

locallibrarylover · 7 months

Text

*by live theatre i mean plays, musicals, operas, ballets, concert versions of musicals, staged readings, & things of that nature. EDIT: YES this includes amateur, local, kids, high school, & community theatre. almost every show i've seen has been local

if you want, list the names of the shows you've seen in the tags!

#(if you saw this before no you didnt. i wanted to add more options)#anyways! very curious about how much live theatre people on here see.#personally i've 22 shows? those being: sleeping beauty (ballet). mary poppins. the lion king. the sound of music. once on this island.#little shop of horrors. mamma mia! chess. annie. music man jr. jesus christ superstar. joseph and the amazing technicolor dreamcoat.#something rotten! sam's room. the blender. bad auditions by bad actors. the 10 worst breakups of all time. drugs are bad. fairy tale court.#peter and the starcatcher. a christmas carol. & robin hood! all of those have been local/community except lion king ^_^#(yes i also redid this because i forgot about robin hood & sleeping beauty...)#musings

9K notes · View notes

classichorrorblog · 7 months

Text

10 Movies From The 1990s To Consider For October/Halloween

#Horror #Horroredit #Audition #The Blair Witch Project #Candyman #The Craft #The Faculty #Ringu #Scream #The Silence Of The Lambs #The Sixth Sense #Tremors #CHB #1990s #10 Movies To Consider #I am not saying that these are the best or that they are my favorites.#Just 10 movies that I think are worth watching for the season.

5K notes · View notes

briarrosefromthedead · 5 months

Text

Audition (1999) dir. Takashi Miike // May (2002) dir. Lucky McKee

#audition #may #horroredit #filmedit #eihi shiina #angela bettis #takashi miike #lucky mckee #horror #mygifs

3K notes · View notes

rachelkaser · 1 year

Text

Stay Golden Sunday: The Audit

Dorothy is pulled into Stan’s audit and discovers they owe the IRS more money than they can afford to pay. Rose and Blanche try to become bilingual, though for different (but typical) reasons.

Picture It...

As Sophia cooks a spaghetti dinner, Blanche enters and complains to Dorothy about how it’s been over a week since she had a date. She worries she may be losing her appeal, but is snapped out of it in record time. Rose enters and delivers her news: She’s up for a promotion if she can become bilingual, so she’s going to take Spanish classes at a local night school. Blanche gets excited, saying she’ll join as she’ll likely meet smart men at night school.

youtube

There’s a ring at the bell as Sophia is plating up dinner. Blanche goes to answer and reluctantly admits Stan. Sophia, just as begrudgingly, gives him a plate. Dorothy asks why he’s there, and he says the IRS is auditing his tax returns over the last few years -- including the period where he was married to Dorothy, meaning it’s her problem too. Dorothy kicks him out, furious that Stan is once again disrupting her life.

The next night, Rose is dressed like a Spanish tia for class, while Blanche is in a low-cut cocktail dress. Rose at least is doing her best to speak entirely in Spanish (though she uses the masculine version of Dorothy’s name). Stan arrives as they leave for class, with a bag full of receipts. He sits down with their previous tax returns so they can go over the deductions one by one. She discovers that he blew some of their money on a bad novelty investment, while Stan laments that he was just trying to do something good for their family.

STAN: Hi, it’s me Stan. DOROTHY: Come on in, Stan. Oh, so thoughtful of you to bring garbage. STAN: These are my tax receipts. Our future is in this bag. DOROTHY: How appropriate.

Dorothy notices a deduction for a gift, and Stan shows her the receipt for a diamond ring he gave her on their last wedding anniversary: It cost $2,500, but Stan says she was worth the money. Dorothy is touched . . . until she sees a deduction for a Corvette and garage. Stan has to confess he bought a car without her knowledge. Realizing this, Dorothy is again enraged and says she no longer cares about the audit as long as Stan gets the book thrown at him.

Later, they arrive at the IRS office for their audit, and Stan is rambling about using psychological tactics on the auditor. Wendell Murray summons them into his office and very quickly rebuffs Stan’s attempts to be friendly, saying that he’s only interested in how much money they owe. Sometime passes as Stan paces uncomfortably and Wendell tallies up their taxes. He finally says they owe the government $5,000 and have 30 days to pay it. If they can’t, they may be facing jail time. Dorothy gets mad as Stanley melts down.

DOROTHY: I can’t sleep. Every time I close my eyes, I see Uncle Sam going through my purse. BLANCHE: Still worried about the money you owe the government? DOROTHY: Oh no, Blanche. I’m worried about whether Michael Jackson will be able to buy the remains of The Elephant Man.

Later that night, Rose is in the kitchen studying for an upcoming Spanish test. Blanche enters with the answer sheet, which she got from the teacher in exchange for the promise of sex. Rose refuses to look at it, telling a St. Olaf Story about the one time she tried to cheat and got caught. Dorothy enters, restless at the thought of the money she owes the IRS. She is liable for $2,500 of the debt, and only has half of it at the moment. Rose and Blanche offer to give Dorothy a few hundred dollars apiece. She thanks them but declines, saying she’ll pawn some of her things to make up the difference.

The next day, Blanche, Rose, and Dorothy enter a pawn shop (Rose nearly causes an altercation when she misspeaks in Spanish). The man behind the counter looks over Dorothy’s things and deems them mostly worthless, despite Blanche’s attempt to upsell them. He does spot one thing of Dorothy’s worth money: The diamond ring Stanley gave her, for which he offers $1,200. Dorothy almost declines, but Blanche reminds her how Stan ended their marriage shortly after gifting her that ring. Dorothy happily accepts the bargain.

DOROTHY: What about your promotion at the counseling center? ROSE: Oh I can just forget about that. Norwegians are notoriously bad at Spanish. DOROTHY: I guess that’s why there are no herring tacos.

Later that night, Blanche and Rose are lounging on the sofa. Dorothy asks why they’re not at Spanish class, and they say they’ve dropped out. Rose just can’t pick up Spanish, and Blanche didn’t see any cute men there. Stan enters, toupee-less, and apologizes again to Dorothy for getting them into this. He gives her a gift: Her ring. He heard what happened from Sophia and says he couldn’t bear for her to sell it under these circumstances, so he bought it back.

Rose asks how he got the rest of the money, and Stan says he sold his Corvette. Dorothy is again touched, and hugs him. Rose and Blanche head out so they can go meet men, and Stan and Dorothy hug it out. Stan says he’s glad they could team up one more time. Then he makes another one of his ill-timed crude remarks, and just as before, Dorothy makes him hurt for it.

STAN: *straining* Dorothy, Dorothy let go. It was a joke. . . You’re hurting me. You’re really hurting me!

“Si -- mucho mucho bazoombas.”

Sometimes an episode of The Golden Girls isn’t a giant laugh-fest, a touching VSE, or a giant stinker. Sometimes an episode is just a middling, but amusing 25 minutes of television. It’s to the series’ credit that there aren’t very many episodes like this, but this is one of them. It has one of the most unremarkable plot hooks, and while there’s a decent baseline humor running through it, there are few laugh-out-loud moments.

DOROTHY: Gee Rose, if I close my eyes, I’d swear I was in Ecuador. SOPHIA: *passing by* Sorry, that was me.

But make no mistake -- even this show’s middling episodes stand above some of the dross I’ve seen when other shows do C-tier material, so I’ll still defend the material. This is another Stan episode, and those are always special in their own way, if only because Bea Arthur invariably has incredible chemistry with Herb Edelman and every scene between the two of them is electric.I just want to go on record to say that I enjoy Stan Zbornak as a character and Herb Edelman’s performance as him. I feel bad that all of the episodes with him so far, I’ve rated relatively poorly.

I will say, at the very least, that Stan does step up in this episode, acknowledges that it was his mistakes that led to the situation and genuinely makes the effort to fix it. Sure, he screwed up by purchasing a Corvette without telling Dorothy, but that pays off later when he gets the money for the taxes (and Dorothy’s pawned ring) by selling it. Sure, he immediately follows up on it by making a lame pass at Dorothy -- just to remind us it is Stan we’re talking about -- but he still comes off much better here than he usually does.

DOROTHY: I only have half of the $2,500 and since I don’t qualify for a bank loan, I’m just gonna have to sell some of my stuff. SOPHIA: Hold it! No daughter of mine is “selling her stuff.” It’s a sin, it’s a crime, and let’s face it Dorothy -- lately you can’t give it away.

That said, he definitely undermines his own good impression in the audit scene, when he tries and fails to win over auditor Wendell -- first by appealing to him as a fellow bald man, then by telling Wendell (who is Black) that he’s a member of the Rainbow Coalition. It’s hilarious to watch Stan dig himself into a hole as Dorothy doesn’t even have the energy to rein him in, and Wendell is clearly all too used to dealing with people like him.

The pawn shop scene, while short, is also one of the better parts of the episode. Blanche, in a rather Stan-like manner, is convinced she can bargain with the pawnbroker, who is as immune to bullshit as Wendell is. Now I’ve never pawned anything, but I do wonder how likely it is that he would make on offer on a piece of jewelry that the seller is wearing, rather than something in the box of items she’s trying to sell.

DOROTHY: No, this isn’t for sale. There are some things that have no price. This means a lot to me. My husband gave it to me after 38 years of marriage. BLANCHE: *aside to Dorothy* And after 38 years of marriage, he also dumped you for a 23-year-old stewardess with firm thighs and perky breasts. DOROTHY: You got yourself a ring, muchacho!

The B-plot of the episode, where Rose tries to learn Spanish for her job, is another one of those elements that’s very middle-of-the-road for this series. It’s not terrifically exciting or funny, but not terrible to watch, either. There is a slight plot hole, though: I’m pretty sure they’ve said or least implied that Rose speaks at least one Scandinavian language such as Swedish or Norwegian. So she’s technically already bilingual, but likely at the time and place, this meant being fluent in Spanish.

Naturally, Blanche uses this as an opportunity to meet smart men, a breed of men she claims to like more than any other (if such a thing exists). She, of course, only speaks one word of Spanish the entire episode. But at least she doesn’t make the mistakes Rose makes. I don’t even speak Spanish, but I caught that she used a masculine version of Dorothy’s name, and I think she tells the bewildered pawnbroker that she wants all of his money. That line is a great culmination of the B-plot.

STAN: Dorothy, what about the audit? We could get into a lot of trouble here. We could even wind up in jail. DOROTHY: Good good, I want you to go to jail. And I want a big, bald convict named Bubba to pick you for his girlfriend. [...] STAN: Oh my god. We’re going to jail. DOROTHY: That’s right, Stanley. And please, let me know where you and Bubba register for your china.

Sophia’s in relatively little of this episode, delivering a few bon mots as she walks in and out of set. She does have one line that’s perhaps not so great. When Dorothy is angry over Stan buying a car without telling her, Sophia says Sal did things without telling her all the time, including apparently getting her pregnant with Phil. Yeah, this is one of those jokes that reminds you what time period this was filmed in.

Episode rating: 🍰🍰🍰 (three cheesecake slices out of five)

Favorite part of the episode:

Wendell doesn’t get paid enough to deal with Stan.

youtube

#golden girls #stay golden #stay golden sunday #dorothy zbornak #the audit #blanche devereaux #rose nylund #sophia petrillo #picture it #s03e10 #hi it's me stan #st olaf story

0 notes

yourlocalabomination · 6 months

Text

Your honour, they were simply just in a silly goofy mood.

3K notes · View notes

pascow · 2 months

Text

AUDITION (1999) dir. Takashi Miike

2K notes · View notes

t4t4tclethian · 2 months

Text

finally watching mumbo's episode 4. why is his bit with burning diamonds whenever he thinks smth mean about ren somehow meaner than anything he couldve actually said

#i love him. hes such a go getter #hes auditioning to become one of the hermitcraft mean girls

1K notes · View notes

scarlettohairdye · 1 year

Text

PSA to printed zine makers

As a 37 year old who's been running a sole proprietorship for the last 10+ years, I just want everyone who is planning to run a fandom project that involves accepting money for printing & shipping costs to know that you're actually running a small business and you need to plan for taxes. It doesn't matter if you don't make any profit: that is business income and the IRS will see it as such if you get audited.

If you only take enough money in to cover the cost of printing & shipping then you can write that off as a business expense and probably not pay taxes on it, But in order for that to fly you actually have to do business accounting, especially if you're doing it at scale. Like, you can probably skate by without reporting a $500 project; I absolutely would not fucking risk it with a $5000 project.

Back when I was producing shows there were years when I was where I made $20k in ticket sales only to turn around and immediately pay $18k to my performers. I only made $2k for myself, but I had to report the entire $20k, because it was ALL INCOME. (I only paid taxes on the $2000, because that's how writing off expenses works!)

Yeah this is boring grownup shit and I'm getting my boring grownup fingers all over your fun fandom, but boring grownups doing boring grownup things are the reason fandom spaces exist at all (paying for servers is deeply boring), and I'm way more fun than an audit

#don't find this out the hard way #get a small business license if you want to do it more than once #small business taxes are annoying #but getting audited is way worse #this advice is US-centric but the gist applies in other countries too #fandom #zines #also have contracts #if money is changing hands you gotta make that shit official

6K notes · View notes

dcxdpdabbles · 1 month

Note

Heya! I love your works! You always manage to turn tropes on their heads and make them anew! I was wondering, are you going to continue The Audit? I loved the dynamics of the Bats interacting with Danny, and Damian and Danny's relationship was downright delightful!

Damian rarely got nervous because of the tension in the room. It wasn't in his nature, having been born with Father's ability to keep a cool head.

But watching the stare-down between his Father and Uncle Daniel was very nerve-wracking. He was still determining who was winning at this point. Father had retreated fully into Batman, locking away all and any emotions behind his persona, which was bizarre to see on his maskless face.

Meanwhile, Uncle Daniel's emotions are displayed for the world to see in the heavy set of his jaw, the down pull of his lips, and the ice in his gaze.

Between the two men sat a pile of paper with various red markings. Damian hadn't gotten the chance to review the documents, but he knew there was a lot, and most of it had not been good. He likely failed the audit.

His uncle had stayed at Wayne Manor for three days, despite the many attempts by the Bats besides Damian to get him out. He had been silently observing everything that happened within the manor's walls. Uncle Daniel took his position as an observer in the literal sense.

He did not speak or interact with anyone besides Damian and often ended up scaring his adoptive siblings since they didn't notice him in the room. Damian personally thinks it was their own fault for being frightened. Obviously, they needed more training if they were unable to detect his uncle.

It's not like the man was hiding; he is good at entering rooms as silent as a ghost. Damian knew all other league-raised children could sense when Uncle Daniel was about, so really, people trained by Batman should have caught him miles away.

Todd and Cain were an honest disgrace for failing to notice Uncle Daniel until his pen clicked to write down what he observed. Damian attempted to improve things by presenting the best of Wayne Manor, but he knew the more he tried, the more Uncle Daniel used the red pen.

He only thought he did well on the audit by showing off his various animal friends. Uncle Daniel seemed very taken with Batcow the most, and after helping Damian milk her, he had finally switched the color on his multi-pen to green.

"I will not repeat myself again, Mr. Wayne," Uncle Daniel hissed, snapping Damian from his thoughts. Father's eyes narrowed.

"You deemed me unfit for my son."

"I deem you unfit for all your children."

Father's face remained impassive, but Damian knew him well enough to see the displeasure rolling off his body in waves. "I try my best for my children."

"Not nearly enough." Uncle Daniel reached for the papers, flipping through the handwritten notes to a page, taking on three lines. When Damian leaned over to read, Uncle Daniel's hand shot out and he pushed his head away.

"No, Little One. These are your sibling's personal files. You can not read them." It's mostly because he respects his uncle greatly that he did not throw a fit for being excluded from the conversation. And the fact that his uncle switched over to their native tongue.

It had been startling to realize how much he missed hearing his language. And how warm it made him feel to use it here in Gotham.

Father pulled the paperwork to him. His blue eyes rapidly moved over the words before he flipped to the next page, the next, and the next. Each time, his actions became more frantic until he reached the end.

Then he just stared at the audit his uncle had written with a strange blank look in his eyes. Damian felt very unnerved.

"Damian, go wait in your room," Father said softly, gaze still not lifting from the report.

"What? Father-"

"Now, Damian."

The boy turned to his uncle for help, but the other man merely smiled. "It's alright, Little One. Your father and I will settle this."

It was ludicrous to remove him from the room to discuss his future. Still, Damian knew he would not be able to convince the two most important men in his life of this, and while Uncle Daniel was a pacifist, it didn't mean he was weak in any way.

He would have Damian removed, and walking out with dignity was better. The young ninja huffed, strutting out of the room, down the hall, and up the main stairway to his bedroom. He ignored the various Wayne-adopted dolts that were trying to eavesdrop on the conversation.

None of them had learned that if Uncle Daniel did not want anyone hearing his conversations, then no one would hear a thing. This was one of the many mysteries surrounding Uncle Daniel.

No one in the current League of Assiaians knew much about the First Son, mainly because no one had lived as long as he and Grandfather, but they all knew he had extraordinary powers.

Drake is a fool who thinks he can record all of Uncle's abilities when he hasn't even scraped the suffering of everything Uncle Daniel could do.

And he never will. A nasty voice whispers in his mind. Damian opens his bedroom door, taking one final look around, trying to fight off the wave of sadness. He can not say his stay here had been easy, but he had grown attached to his life at Wayne Manor.

It's a foolish attachment. It didn't matter.

He had failed the audit, and Uncle Daniel would have him moved. Damian's eyes burned slightly, making him blink rapidly as he began packing his room.

He had been able to adjust to the sudden move from the league to Gotham; Damian could do it again. He was halfway done getting everything of value stored in his suitcases when his Father appeared at his door.

"Damian? What are you doing?" The man's voice sounds crushed, and Damian refuses to meet his gaze. He needs to leave through the Wayne Manor doors with his dignity.

"I am sure it's quite clear what I am doing, Father." He says, folding his shirts in the military style Pennyworth had shown him. It saved the most space, and the idea that he will never learn more little tricks from the age bullet makes the burn in his eyes stronger.

A few traitorous tears fall, landing on his blue-gry shirt and turning a few spots into a dark blue.

"I won't let him take you," Father promises, strutting towards Damian and hugging him. The child stiffens at once before more tears silently fall down his face.

"You can not stop Uncle. He can take all of us away."

"I know," Father admits. "That's why I have agreed to his terms."

"Terms?"

"Mr. Wayne and I have agreed on a trial period. He will go to therapy to improve his behavior and communication skills with his children. I will be living here and monitoring the progress. It will be one year." Uncle Daniel says suddenly, right next to their hug, his cold arms warping around Damian and overlapping Father's.

Father's face was spammed at the contact, but Damian had never felt so warm or protected.

He sinks into the hug, watching Uncle Daniel's warm, soft gaze stare down at him. Then, his gaze hardens into disgust as Father leans on Damian's hair. Uncle Daniel quickly leans onto the other side of Damian's skull, trying to comfort him.

Relief crashes into Damian. The audit was not over; he still had a year to prove to Uncle that he should live here with Father. He will not be moved.

But it will take a miracle for his father to change that drastically. His uncle would remove him unless Damian could show him that there was something here worth staying for.

He needed a plan, a goal, an appeal to Uncle Daniel's more gentle, idealistic views. But what? He could try to become more brotherly with his adoptive siblings. That could buy him a few more months.

I need something more. Something more binding. Damian thinks, pressing his face into the two men's arms. He does not need comfort like a child, but being held like this is.... pleasant.

"Oh! Family Group Hug!" Richard screams from the hallway before the man is sprinting into the room. Father makes a face but Uncle Daniel opens the hug, leaving a gap for Richard.

The man barrels in with a shout of glee, squeezing the three almost desperately. Damian would make a face, but he understands just how great Uncle Daniel's hugs can be, and added to the fact Father is not one to show displays of affection, this is Richard's best chance to-.

Wait.

That's it! Uncle's one weakness is being there for children who need him. Damian realizes, a plan forming in his mind, as Brown, Drake, and Cain run into the room. They pause at the sight before all three are invited into Uncle's hug. Brown leaps in for her hug, and Cain hesitantly approaches while Drake stays safely away, eyeing the group with distaste.

Uncle Daniel locks eyes with the teenager by the door, offering a sad smile, and Damian can see that he genuinely wants Drake in this hug but will not force him.

He respects Drake's boundaries because, to Uncle Daniel, adoption means family. He considers Drake to be Damian's brother, so he would treat him with the same care and love as he does for Damian.

Usually, that would bother him greatly, but Damian is too proud of himself for thinking of such a great plan.

There was no way Father would change enough in one year to satisfy Uncle into thinking he was a good fit for raising children. That's fine.

All Damian had to do in that year was convince Uncle to stay at Wayne Manor to do the child-raising himself. This way Damian could remain in Gotham, no matter the audit's results.

How does one trap a man in child-raising when none of the children are his biological? Simple. They get them married to someone with children, and Father just so happens to be without a paramour.

Damian has to get two men to fall in love in one year. It should be simple. With Uncle Daniel's protective core and Father's determination to save Gotham, there may be enough common ground between them to spark romance!

"I love you guys!" Richard crows, squeezing everyone he can reach.

"Hn," Father grunts, while Brown and Cain both inform Richard they care for him as well. Damian softly mutters, "I care for you too," which is much better than Father's.

Uncle's snaps.

"Your son said he loves you, but you don't even respond? You are a brute, Mr. Wayne."

"And you are a leech." Father hisses.

Damian winces. This will take a lot of work. Good thing he's never cowered from a challenge.

#dcxdpdabbles #dcxdp crossover #the audit #Part 2 #Damian failed the original audit #Danny found problems with all the Wayne kids #Bruce and Danny do not get allow #Too bad Damian is going to Parent Trap them #One year to change Danny's mind #Tim has issues with the Al Ghuls so he don't trust Danny #Everyone else got used to him some what #They can't keep him out

547 notes · View notes