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#That said I still haven't decided exactly how to use them lol so there's that

somewhat-insane · 15 days

Text

Okay, so, I know a lot of people were discouraged after the LMK S5 trailer. The art is different, yes, but remember there are still people working behind the screen; passionate about this story they're trying to tell. To rebuild faith and re-spark hope, I'm going through the trailer frame by frame and sharing anything cool I find. (There is some (what I hope is) constructive criticism in here, but I would like to reiterate something other fans have said. DO. NOT. HARRASS. ANYONE. WORKING. ON. THE. SHOW. They're doing their best with what they have available to them. We're lucky Wildbrain decided to pick the show back up because if they hadn't, we may not have gotten the rest of the story.)

They've been brought in front of the council to discuss their car's extended warranty. ALSO WHERE IS MK'S JACKET AND BANDANA? THEY WHOLE ASS PROBABLY SNATCHED THIS POOR BOY OUT OF HIS BED WHILE HE WAS SLEEPING

Don't worry, babygirl, I still think you're pretty ^3^

Okay, they gave him his clothes back, phew.

Hehe, tiny monkies.

At least our child is still adorable.

Synchronized heart attack.

He is so traumatized, lol. Someone brought up how this design for the circlet wasn't the previously established design in the show, but it COULD be based on the design used on the cover of the Journey to the West novel (as seen below)

It's not exactly the same but the shape is similar.

Anyway.

WUKONG ANGST WUKONG ANGST WUKONG ANGST

I'm realizing while doing this that Wildbrain doesn't use as many smear frames as Flying Bark did. As funny as it is to pause and see something like this in season 1-4:

It makes the animation look a LOT smoother and more energetic. Flying Bark also seems to use more frame-by-frame while Wildbrain probably uses more tweening. I suppose it makes sense though because Wildbrain is more used to 3D animation and the 2D animation they have done in the past is more paper-doll-like and doesn't need as much bounce and action.

Back to the trailer, no need to dwell.........

MO. HANG IN THERE.

MONKEY ANGST MONKEY ANGST MONKEY ANGST aposhdgpafoshdfosfapsdofpa

Oooh, wait, this frame actually kinda goes hard. I'm kinda hyped... I should draw this.

NO BRO DON'T MAKE ME CRY JUST BECAUSE OF A TRAILER

You know what this makes me think of...? Did any of you guys ever play that game called "Journey"?

It's a beautiful game with beautiful music. Y'all should play it if you haven't. Oh, and sometimes if you're playing at the same time as someone else in the world, your games will merge and you get a little play buddy :3

Genuinely love how distressed he is here.

SHADOWPEACH ANGST SHADOWPEACH ANGST

Looks like we're still gonna get cool backgrounds and background character designs!!!!

This looks like it may be some kind of storybook or memory sequence like when Chang'e was talking about how she found the ring in S3 or when LBD was talking about Macaque's death... what memory do you think we're going to be exploring this time?

This goes pretty hard. I would paint this on a wall or something.

Mk is flabbergasted.

Yay!! Mk has the support he needs. ALSO MORE SANDY

They're mortified. Probably because they just watched a giant dragon and white tiger fucking evaporate.

Hehe bord

I can't wait to see fanart of him. I'm so excited!

SHADOWPEACH SHADOWPEACH SHADOWPEACH

He's thinking about kissing him, honest.

I think he's purty

MORE PIGSY-

I've run out of room for pictures, but I hope this helped get y'all all hyped again for the new season! Have hope, stay strong!

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capegloam · 5 months

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I used to be a close transmasc friend of yours but you have genuinely made me (and others) sick with your fake top surgery tattoos. It's disrespectful, it makes fun of and trivialises a symbol of progress/pride that relates nothing to you. Binding is damaging and painful, you have no idea the pain actually transmasc people go through daily, hourly, by the minute or second to bind. You have no idea the pain of personally growing up transmasc. It's layered and it's complicated and it is Not yours. It will never be yours. You are appropriating our pain. Its disgusting. You are going to lose many friends and make many enemies for this. Hope you have fun faking being transmasc, I see half of Twitter already believes you. I don't want drama with you, or want you to publicly share this or talk to me. I'm just sharing this with you because it has made me sick to my stomach ever since I saw it. And this is an action you need to seriously rethink. You need to publicly come clean on those posts that you are not transmasc. I can tell you've worded it so it's hard for people to tell. You are lucky I haven't publicly made a statement.

woke up today to all of these anons. unsure if they are all the same person but I'm going to treat them as such.

the fact of the matter is, my gender identity is more complicated than "i want to be transmasc". twitter is a horrible place to explain myself because of the character limit, and because i don't like justifying myself to people i don't know. Seeing as i've now been kicked/banned from a specific discord server i used to be in, i know exactly who this is, and i finally feel comfortable explaining myself fully. i know you, i care for you, and we're here on tumblr where i can actually sit down and write a proper essay. Thank you.

i'll break down my responses specifically to what you said, because I want this to be a good conversation.

(under the cut because its long, lol)

"it's disrespectful, it makes fun of and trivializes a symbol of progress/pride that relates nothing to you" — I derive no comedy from the tattoo. I didn't decide I wanted it lightly. saying that it "makes fun of" that symbol is categorically a misinterpretation of my earnest & sincere intent. I wear my heart on my sleeve, always.

saying that my experience "relates nothing" to the transmasc experience is a true statement. I started with a body I should've been comfortable in. The truth is—I was not—I am not comfortable with my body. I don't want a binary body. But my transition experience? was not anything like the transmasc one. I grew out my hair. I bought skirts and dresses. I began collecting earrings, all of them gifts from friends who love me. But when I approached HRT, I realized I wasn't happy with being a woman. I didn't want to get closer to a newer, different binary body. I wanted to be both, trans man and trans woman, simultaneously. I am bigender and nonbinary. to boil me down to "just wants to be transmasc" completely ignores the other half of me that wants breasts, that wants a feminine chest. my next step with my transition is, honestly, purchasing a breast form.

the issue now becomes, why get the tattoo if thats how i feel? if I still want a chest in some form or another?

because, I don't want my bare chest to be a source of dysphoria for that part of me. Remember, at the same time that I want breasts, i also don't want them. at the same time that I want long hair, i want short hair. at the same time I want masculine clothes, i want skirts. I am all of these things and MY PAIN is not being able to be everything combined all at once. It is, frankly, an impossible transition goal.

The scars take my natural chest and they turn it into something new that acknowledges my hypocrisy, that its not just the body of a man, that there is room for more, here. Just because it looks flat doesn't mean thats all it could be, or thats all it was. I want that symbol of transformation because I wish I got to transform. What is more "trans" than wanting to transform?

I will never be transmasc. That just doesn't properly describe my experiences, and it doesn't even fit my feelings about myself. But, at the end of the day, top scars don't belong just to transmasc people, they belong to nonbinary people too. AFAB people who don't seek being gendered one way or the other get top surgery, too. That's the group I feel closest aligned with, (except I want to be gendered both ways, simultaneously, rather than not being gendered at all).

ANYWAYS. thats the deep and thorough explanation of my gender i've been holding back from sharing on twitter. I don't even want to begin to imagine how many tweets long that thread would be LMAO.

back to breaking down your responses, sorry for the tangent. I felt that it was pertinent to illustrate how this tattoo is still a symbol of progress and pride to me, and how I relate to it through my experiences, so you can understand me. I still care about you. you will always be a friend in my mind, so you deserve it.

"Binding is damaging and painful, you have no idea the pain transmasc people go through" — I am well aware of the side effects of binding. They are the reason I didn't pursue HRT to obtain a chest, with binding as a solution for me still wanting a flat chest simultaneously.

That being said, I am living with the consequences of binding. My partner cannot breathe normally, and I constantly feel concern for his wellbeing whenever we need to do something physical (move furniture, walk uphill, etc.) BECAUSE of his history of binding. I know the damage it does.

"You have no idea the pain of growing up transmasc. It is not yours, it will never be yours" — this is true, though I could similarly say that you have no idea the pain of my strange feelings either. Just because we don't experience each other's exact pain doesn't stop us from feeling empathy for each other, for wanting better for each other.

The difference between us is—when I see someone in pain, i want them to do whatever they need to do to relieve that pain. when YOU see someone in pain—with MY pain, my strange pain that you don't understand (that you THINK you understand, but you don't)—your instinct is to use YOUR pain as a justification for hurting others. The fact that you're hurting is an awful one, and I am sorry I can't help you relieve it. But when you see another person happy because they've found a way to relieve some of THEIR OWN pain, it makes you angry. It doesn't make you happy that I found a way to transform my painful, dysphoric relationship with my body into a euphoric one.

as a community, we should rejoice and be happy when other trans people successfully make steps towards defeating their personal struggles with their body. We should be empathetic to each other's experiences. I understand your anger, but its not justified.

"You are going to lose many friends and make many enemies for this" — so far the only friend I've lost is you. all of my irl friends have been supportive, my partners are supportive, my online friends are supportive. Do all of them understand my complicated gender identity? No. I think maybe a lot of them think its a little stupid, honestly. But they're still happy for me. I'm very lucky to have friends who love me. I love them a lot, too, and they know it.

The enemies I've made from this don't know me, and I don't know them. They're not worth my time. You're different—YOU, anon, are worth my time. I know you. I care for you. Long after you have buried me in the ground for being a horrible person (in your eyes), i will still be thinking positively of you. I will still be rooting for you. That will never change.

"I don't want... you to publicly share this" — I'm sorry but you can't control what I do. If you wanted this to be private we should've had a private conversation about it. I was waiting for you to DM me and you never did. I wanted to have this conversation, and this is the place we have to do it, now that you've sent me these anons.

"I can tell you've worded it so its [hard to tell that you're not transmasc]" — This is true. I don't feel like spending 2 hours typing heartfelt responses to people I don't know on x dot com. (Thats how long its been, btw. I've been writing this for 2 hours now. Hopefully that stands for something—to help you understand how much I believe you deserve this explanation. I believe you deserve a lot more than what i've given you.)

I did not obscure my AGAB on purpose. I just think it doesn't matter and is not important enough to disclose. I'm nonbinary and I want a nonbinary body. That should be the end of the story, as far as the greater trans community should be concerned.

"You need to publicly come clean that you aren't transmasc"

quite frankly, its a little uncomfortable for you to assert that I should have to "come clean" about my AGAB. An interest in the genitals of trans people is something transphobes are particularly keen on. I think you should consider the parallels between your arguments and theirs. You still have some internalized transphobia to unpack.

I was there once too. I've already forgiven you.

Anon 2

I feel like I've already addressed your arguments here. I don't care what people who don't know me have to say about me. They don't know me.

You should consider your status as a popular furry artist, anon. Its not unreasonable to assume that people agreed with you purely because of your following. I've received supportive messages from several people I met in your discord server about my tattoo, so I can assure you that not everyone in your circle feels the same way you do.

Anon 3

I'm not lying about being transgender. Nonbinary is a transgender identity. Your interest in my AGAB, asserting that I need to come clean about it, is a transphobic assertion. Attacking a nonbinary person because you feel that they aren't being trans the right way is textbook nonbinaryphobia.

Anon 4 — "My binder made me sick today, i couldn't eat i felt faint and ill" — i'm genuinely sorry to hear that. No one deserves to have to endure that kind of pain for so long. You deserve better. You deserve to look at your body and feel happy. Everyone does.

"I felt sick remembering what you did. That you don't take transmasc pain seriously, or respect us" — I do take your pain seriously, and I respect you as a person. This long thoughtful post is evidence of that.

I understand the disgust you feel at the thought that someone would want to feel the pain you feel. But thats never what I wanted. Thats what you believe I wanted.

The truth is I have my own pain too. my own, personal, complex pain, which i've attempted to explain above. I shouldn't have to be burdened with explaining it to everyone who asks. I don't owe them my soul. I owe my soul to my friends and my partners, and I give it freely when asked by them. You asked. on tumblr dot com, my friend.

If thats not respect, then I don't know what is. Respect is a willingness to meet another person where they're at. I know that when you're hurting its hard to see the hurt you're inflicting onto others. Please trust me when I say I've been there, too. I've hurt. I've hurt others because my pain said that it was justified. I'm healing from it, from the guilt and the shame. I'm finally stopping the cycle of pain and self-hatred within myself. I hope you can get here with me someday, too.

I meant it when I said you'll always be a friend to me. I hope you take my words to heart.

have a nice day, thanks for reading 💛

#transphobia #no editing or peer review we die like men

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imagine-knb · 7 months

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Captains with a childhood friend who was usually touchy and clingy suddenly stopping and when they confronted them, their friend admitted to starting to like them romantically and didn't want to take advantage? Pls let them end up together!

I wasn't sure which captains you wanted sooooo I did all of them lol Admin Neon

Hyuuga: He's always complaining about the random hugs and clinginess from you anyway, so when you stop doing it one day Hyuuga actually isn't all that bothered — he thinks, maybe, you finally decided to cool it a bit. He thought it meant you would be bothering him less, but when weeks go by and you still haven't greeted him with your usual death grip of a hug, he realizes you meant for the change to be permanent. It has him more upset than he would have originally thought and your explanation only manages to further confuse and upset him.

"Aren't you supposed to want to hold someone you like more?" he asks you, implying he wouldn't mind if you went back to doing that.

Kasamatsu: Prior to your confession, Kasamatsu already felt flustered every time you got touchy with him. He's not a very physically intimate guy in public, so the affection you showed him often left him red in the face and yelling in embarrassment. After your confession however, he's suddenly looking back on all those moments where you'd hugged him for a bit longer than necessary, where you'd let your fingertips graze over his skin, where you'd stared at him with what he now realized was longing. And he found himself missing the affection despite the embarrassment it brought him.

"You don't have to stop," he mumbles, looking away from you. It's not exactly a confession of his own, but it's enough for now.

Imayoshi: When you first started getting touchy with Imayoshi, he constantly teased you about being careful — he might fall for you, or vice versa, if you kept it up. After a while though, he began to think it was just part of your personality. After all, he wasn't the only person you got touchy with, you just took it a bit farther with him. He chalked it up to your long friendship with him and familiarity. Eventually he stops teasing you about it; you never reacted anyway so it was getting boring. The day you finally confess however, he's trying hard not to let you realize you'd caught him by surprise.

"Ah, see, I knew you would fall for me one day because of that," he teases. "But that's okay, because I was right about me, too."

Otsubo: The day you stopped outwardly showing him affection, Otsubo finds himself ranting to his younger sister — it was something he did often, actually. The two of you had been friends for so long, even his sister knew all the ins and outs to your personality. He was in the middle of a sentence, describing to her how you used to act before versus how you acted now, when it all seemed to suddenly click for him. Leaving his sister hanging, he goes to find you, shocking you when he asks you outright if you had deeper feelings for him.

"You don't have to hide them from me or stop what you were doing," he reassures. "Don't you know I've felt the same way?"

Okamura: He doesn't receive a lot of physical affection, romantic or platonic, so Okamura relished in every bit of affection you gave. If he was honest with himself, he would realize that the fleeting touches and lingering hugs had actually made him fall for you at some point. So when you suddenly stop giving him any affection one day, cutting him off cold turkey, he's upset and confused. He won't mention it at first, but after a while he starts to believe he's done something to upset you. When you reassure him it wasn't him and that you were simply being conscious of not taking advantage of him, well...

"You can take advantage of me!" he blurts before reddening as he realized what he said. "I mean. I like you, too. Please don't hold back."

Akashi: Being rather perceptive, it doesn't take Akashi long to realize why you were suddenly refusing to embrace him like you once did. He had started noticing the signs of your growing infatuation as soon as they started happening — the lingering glances, the soft blushes, the stuttered words — and he had been glad you'd finally caught up to the amount of affection he held for you. Maybe now you would be ready to take the relationship a step further. When you suddenly stopped giving him that affection however, he knew he had to clear up any confusion you may have had about his own feelings.

"I'm afraid you are mistaken," he explains. "Not once did I ever say I didn't enjoy your affection. If I'm being honest, I crave it."

Nijimura: As one of his dearest and longest friends, Nijimura never really minded when you would cling to his side or hold onto his arm or tangle your fingers with his. In fact, he found it endearing. When you suddenly start treating him differently, he's quick to pick up on the shift in your dynamic with him, though he doesn't exactly know why it's happening at first. After confronting you and hearing your confession, his once hardened expression softens into one of understanding and, if you were to look closely, you would probably see the light flush on his cheeks.

"Please don't push me away because your feelings for me have evolved." Asking for your affection back was clearly not beneath him.

Hanamiya: On the outside, it always looked like Hanamiya was annoyed with your clinginess, but other than his mother, you were the only person who would willingly embrace him, so he didn't mind it as much as he made it seem. He doesn't mention it at first when you suddenly stop, letting things play out naturally — he was convinced you'd start up again on your own anyway. Eventually weeks go by though and you still haven't hugged him. People start to notice that he seems more prone to anger because of it, like the simple hugs he got from you daily had been the last thing grounding him.

"Hah, that's why you stopped?" he asks after your confession. He's glaring at you. "Idiot, that's not a good enough excuse. Get over here."

Iwamura: If there was one thing that Iwamura liked about you, it was how forthcoming you always were with your affection. You never beat around the bush — if you wanted a hug, you would take one; if you wanted to hold his larger hand in yours, you would grab it. So when you suddenly stop, coming up with weak excuses as to why your attitude toward him had changed, he starts to press you further for a truthful answer. He's not surprised when you eventually confess your deeper feelings for him, having seen in coming, and he supposed now was as good a time as any to tell you about his own feelings.

"I appreciate you being honest with me," he murmurs, moving a hand to place it on your cheek. "Allow me to be honest with you now."

Nash: Similarly to Imayoshi, Nash teases you about your touchy feely attitude with him from the very beginning. He's relentless, never letting you get a simple hug in without making some remark about how you're falling head over heels for him. You think he's just joking — that he doesn't mean it all seriously — but the day you stop giving him those affectionate touches, his attitude seems to sour. He doesn't take long to track you down, asking you what your problem was and if you didn't want to associate with him anymore. Your confession has his mood changing just as quickly as prior.

"You're not taking advantage of me if I liked it," he reassures with a smirk. "And I just so happen to like when you throw yourself at me."

#hyuuga #kasamatsu #imayoshi #otsubo #okamura #akashi #nijimura #hanamiya #iwamura #nash #I'mma be real nijimura is hard to write for lmao #divider by skylightlantern

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butterflydm · 1 year

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wot reread: towers of midnight (chap 39-49)

spoilers for towers of midnight

Aviendha! We haven't seen her since she went off without saying goodbye to Rand in TGS. Anyway, she has arrived in the Three-Fold Land and she's pondering ideas about home and softness. She thinks about how she's come to enjoy the baths and fine dresses that Elayne shared with her in the wetlands, despite wanting to believe she only wants the life that she grew up with.

2. As she makes camp for the night, she thinks about how the Aiel (and herself) will need to come back to the Three-Fold Land after the Last Battle, that the wetlands are too soft for them. As she drifts to sleep, there is an older woman there, at her campsite. She says that her name is Nakomi and she asks to share Aviendha's campsite. Nakomi asks if Aviendha is one of those who went west in search of the Car'a'carn and asks about him and about the wetlands. When Aviendha bursts out that the wetlands make them weak, Nakomi is startled. She points out that the Three-Fold Land was meant to punish them, test them, and shape them -- so whatever they are currently facing in the wetlands seems to be what they were being shaped for. So why does Aviendha insist that they must return to the Three-Fold Land after the Last Battle, since the 3FL has accomplished its purpose? They would be punishing themselves for no reason, because they will have met their toh.

3. I do actually enjoy this scene a lot but it really feels like Aviendha questioning all this should have happened earlier in the series, lol. She bound herself into a relationship with three wetlanders (well, Elayne and Rand; she still barely knows Min, because they just spent a month avoiding each other while living in the same place), all the while planning to leave the wetlands after the Last Battle? How exactly was that going to work? Narratively, I feel like this emotional crisis should have happened earlier.

4. Thinking over his grief over Hopper's final death and his failure with Slayer in his head, Perrin forges a hammer and Neald & some of the Wise Ones, working together, turn it into a Power-wrought weapon while Perrin makes it. He also finally embraces the idea of being a leader because 'someone else might do it wrong', essentially, lol. Like using an army to pursue a personal vendetta, you mean? Like allying with invaders and slavers and choosing to sell women into slavery, you mean? Like planning to disband said army after your personal goals have been achieved but before the world has been saved, you mean?

Anyway, Perrin has finally decided that he will lead these people to the Last Battle (like they want) instead of sending them away so... I guess that's nice. Finally caught up to every other one of the main protagonists, lol. It really is so weird how Perrin is the one who gets called the responsible one and he acknowledged his responsibilities back in TSR but then, after that, he ran from his responsibilities so much longer and harder than either Rand or Mat.

He also seems to have finally gotten over his petty jealousy of Wil al'Seen? So that's nice. Poor Wil has been NOTHING but loyal and supportive for as long as he's marched under Perrin's banner, yet Perrin has thought such mean-spirited things about him.

5. Berelain also assumes here that Rand is planning to marry Elayne, though she thinks of it more in tactical political terms than how Perrin was talking about it. So, again, there's a general "yeah Rand and Elayne are probably getting married" vibe going around Perrin's camp so I am going to be Very Doubtful that Tam knows nothing of Elayne when he first meets Min in Tear back in TGS.

6. Perrin finally thinks here that he failed Aram -- not by letting him pick up a sword in the first place, but by scooping him up in his wake and then shoving him away and ignoring him. Took him long enough to realize that it wasn't the sword's fault. He also knows that he can't go back and fix what he screwed up with Aram, but he can try to do better going forward.

...no thoughts from him on how to 'make good' with what he did with selling two hundred women into slavery, though. Maybe he feels like Rand making an alliance with the Seanchan will 'let him off the hook' for that.

7. Once again, the Whitecloaks and Perrin's army are on the brink of attacking each other. But this time it's because Perrin suspects that they're all about to get attacked by Shadowspawn and they do, and they fight together instead of against each other, etc. Battle scene. (where did the Shadowspawn come from? A Waygate, maybe? They can't go through Gateways -- Perrin thinks maybe a Portal Stone). When Byar compares this to what Perrin did in the Two Rivers, Bornhald realizes the contradiction in the logic of what he'd believed about the Two Rivers' battle: if Perrin has the command of this many Shadowspawn already, it's nonsensical for him to kill them off in order to trick the Whitecloaks (with their similar or lesser numbers) into joining him. After the battle is over, Galad names his sentencing of Perrin -- pay 500 crowns to the families of the two Whitecloaks that he killed, and fight in the Last Battle. When Byar realizes that Perrin is 'getting away' with all the crimes he's imagined up for him, he tries to kill Perrin and is killed by Bornhald before he can strike the blow.

8. Being bonded to Egwene is letting Gawyn inside the strong facade that she puts up in front of everyone else, and it's bringing him a lot of comfort to feel how emotional she still can be, under the serene mask. And Egwene and Gawyn have a frank conversation, all the more frank because they can sense the true emotions under each other's words. When Egwene suggests that a bed be brought for him in her antechamber for him to sleep in, he counters with suggesting that they can married. Gawyn also agrees with Egwene, very strongly, that something needs to be done about the Seanchan -- he's seen the assassins they sent after the Aes Sedai, witnessed the attack on the White Tower, and met some of the victims who have been freed from their cruelty. Then, just in case he needs them later, Gawyn takes the three ter'angreal rings that gave the Bloodknives their power.

9. Lan can feel the difference in the distant mind connected to his and wonders if Nynaeve has taken his bond from Myrelle. He always did his best to ignore Myrelle's feelings, but the connection feels different now, with a familiar "passion and kindness". As he passes through a fortress, he is recognized by a grandson of the queen of Kandor, who mentions that Nynaeve had said Lan might try to pass unnoticed. And here, at last, Lan gives up the notion of 'riding alone' and tells him that he will raise the banner, and any who want to join him in the ride to the Blight may come.

10. Galad here notes that it's kinda silly to have Aes Sedai as your allies and then refuse to let them heal you. Yes. Yes, that would be extremely foolish. Galad is another character who feels like a foil to Mat -- they both fell in with groups that are extremely hostile to Aes Sedai, despite having family that would get hurt by those groups (Morgase and Elayne vs Bode). So Galad thinking this here (and allowing himself to be healed) feels like a very direct contrast against something that is coming up in the near future, where Mat is going to decide to be extremely foolish.

But Galad realizes here (or begins to realize) how spending time with a group hostile to Aes Sedai HAS poisoned his mind against them, even though that was not his intention in joining them -- he thinks about how the idea of being healed wouldn't have made him uneasy when he was younger. And that's just what we saw with Mat too -- even if his intention with Tuon is to try to convince her that channeling isn't evil, spending time around her and listening to her spew her poisonous thoughts affects him even when he's trying to avoid it. It's just like the corruption of Mashadar/Shadar Logoth (which was always a metaphor for extreme paranoia and hate). Aridhol - the Children of the Light - the Seanchan... all these groups are working out of the same playbook of stoking paranoia and fear and then using that to gain control of people who are emotionally vulnerable. And it's something that's pretty common IRL too.

But combining Gawyn and Galad's realizations in TGS/ToM does feel kinda like the books have provided a road map of how Mat can emotionally pull himself away from the Seanchan and his toxic relationship with ~Fortuona~ once he wakes up enough to realize that she's not willing to ever grow as a person -- you have to realize that you DO need to make a choice that your morals can live with (can't straddle a fence forever) and realize that spending time around people who are constantly attacking and demeaning your loved ones can potentially screw with your head a lot. Child Byar is the obvious analogue for Tuon in this specific example of Galad vs Mat, and I've talked about Elaida and Tuon's similarities in earlier posts. Byar, Elaida, and Fortuona are all ~true believers~ in their individual terrible philosophies and do have a genuine 'sincerity' and 'conviction' in their zealotry for what they believe in plus share a willingness to turn to violence when they are challenged. I'm not sure if Perrin ever gets a whiff of Fortuona (don't recall), but I wonder if she would smell rabid to him, the way that most of the Whitecloaks do.

11. After they heal up from the battle, they all Travel to Andor, near Whitebridge. Morgase regrets that Faile has taken the reveal of her identity so hard and now Morgase is in a strange half-place where she is no longer a servant but not a queen either. *sigh* It's frustrating that her marrying Tallanvor is still basically forced along by Lini. Let her relax into a relationship first, sheesh. Anyway. Morgase's plan is to offer to be Elayne's advisor.

12. The chapter ends with Perrin getting to have a private reunion with Mat. lol, Perrin and Mat have barely interacted on page in the book series (especially compared to Rand and Mat) and yet Sanderson goes out of his way to let the two of THEM get a private reunion. This is genuinely the first time when Perrin has felt like an author's pet, at least for me (though I do think that Jordan would have spent considerably less page time on Perrin than Sanderson did, this is the first time when that extra Perrin time has felt like it came out of nowhere and was put in just so that Perrin could have a special treat, in this case, the treat of getting Fun Times With Mat for a couple of pages ... though actually, now that I think about, Perrin getting to be the Special One who gets to witness Rand's epiphany on Dragonmount first-hand feels like it falls into this category as well, of Perrin getting Special Treats because he's Sanderson's Particular Favorite and he wants Perrin to experience All The Cool Moments).

Why is Mat here in Whitebridge? Didn't he promise to stay in Caemlyn for a month? Has it already been a month? How did Mat even know that Perrin would be in Whitebridge? An off-screen strategic use of the color swirls, in a way that Mat has never used them before? It's just so random that he's here rather than him and Perrin meeting up for the first time once Perrin arrives in Caemlyn.

Interestingly (to me), Mat has continued to regress emotionally -- he's pulled a childish prank and wants Perrin to join him in it. Also interesting: Mat's hat is completely unfamiliar to Perrin, which speaks again to how quickly and thoroughly Perrin was able to suppress the color swirls compared to Mat and Rand. Anyway, Mat quickly hugs Perrin, arranges to meet him later, and 'borrows' one of the Asha'man to help him hop around (Neald).

Also, we know from Gawyn's chapter that there are ex-damane and ex-sul'dam wandering around the Royal Palace and yet... I don't think we ever get a scene where Mat runs across them the way that Gawyn did. Again, it feels like the narrative is sheltering Mat from seeing the full truth about the Empire that he is tying himself to, making it easier for him to play pretend that he can reason Tuon into being a decent person.

13. Elayne enjoys the warmth of her bond with Rand, after having learned the good news from Egwene that Mesaana was taken care of. It's been a week since Auldra's test (which means no more bed rest, so it was literally just a SINGLE CHAPTER where she was carried around in a bed; being carried around in a bed is the new "Elayne takes too many baths" where fandom exaggerates how much something actually happened) and Elayne has pressed every bellfounder in Andor into making more 'dragons'. Elayne deals with some politics re: the claiming of the Sun Throne. When Birgitte brings someone in unannounced, Elayne assumes that it's Mat (so Mat has permission to come into Elayne's private chambers without being formally announced). But it is Galad instead, and she is very startled to see him. And then even MORE startled to see her mother, alive and well. Morgase lets her know that she has formally renounced the throne, so no worries there, and Elayne and Galad share some information about how Galad became Lord Commander of the Whitecloaks and how the Succession went for Elayne. She invites them to a private dinner later.

14. When Elayne is alone in the room with Morgase (and Birgitte), she tells Morgase about her pregnancy and that Rand is the father. A frustrating way about how this story was set up by Jordan (and @markantonys and I have talked a lot about how this bothers us!) is because Min ~conveniently~ got black-out drunk and so was able to tell all of Caemlyn about Elayne's pregnancy but conveniently 'unable' to tell Rand, is that the pregnancy has been completely isolated to Elayne's storyline and hasn't had any impact on Rand. Which really makes it feel more like Elayne was made pregnant ~for the Dragon's Legacy~ than anything else, especially because of how Jordan immediately started having the people around Elayne treat her as a vessel for her future children rather than a person who was pregnant (even though they didn't know the kids were ~legacy babies~). Again, something that Jordan started but that Sanderson has unfortunately continued. I'm hopeful that (if the show should get that far) the show would do things differently with this storyline, because Rand has already been allowed to have "I could be a dad" related feelings in the show.

15. At night in the Three-Fold Land, Aviendha studies Rhuidean and thinks of the three ways that Rand 'broke' the city. He took away the shrouding mists surrounding it. He brought water to it (the lake is named Tears of the Dragon, Tsodrelle'Aman). And the final way is that he made the cultural impact of the city profoundly different by sharing the truth of the Aiel's past with all the Aiel, so it is no longer something that is a test for Wise Ones and clan chiefs. And so she thinks about how there is a strength in accepting change, and not clinging to tradition for tradition's sake alone. She realizes that her plan of retreating back into the Three-Fold Land never meshed with the other desires of her heart -- she wants Rand to survive the Last Battle but if he does, he will live in the wetlands. And Elayne is her first-sister who she loves and does not want to abandon, and plans to be sister-wives with, and Elayne would also live in the wetlands. She was thinking of how she became a Maiden in part because of her search to be strong but "strength was not strength if it had no purpose or direction".

(she does not think about Min because why would she? Min has never bothered trying to build a relationship with her and, in direct contrast to Elayne, has shown many times that she isn't interested in learning any more about the Aiel or their ways.)

16. The Black Tower plotline should belong to Nynaeve . That is my only comment on chapter 46, lol. I don't hate Androl like some people do but... the Black Tower plotline should have been Nynaeve's (and Logain's too tbh, and would have been a good source for his 'glory' viewing from Min). This also would have given Nynaeve a strong late-series antagonist in Taim, after she's defeated Moghedien earlier in the series.

17. Actually, I am going to talk a bit about how frustrating it is that Jordan kept avoiding this plotline. It is a festering wound in Rand's storyline for months/books and Rand just keeps avoiding it and avoiding it. We get these tiny little hints into what might be happening at the Black Tower, but mostly it's just a self-inflicted wound on Rand's part that never really get resolved on his end, because Rand never goes back there. He creates it and then lets it be Someone Else's Problem, and it kinda feels like it's tied to how Jordan kept having Rand avoid Caemlyn in general. It feels like it's an element of the story that Jordan just... didn't know how to solve, so he kept punting it forward to the future and hoping he would figure it out eventually (kinda like the Seanchan, I guess). But, yeah, I feel like having Nynaeve literally stop by the Black Tower for Lan's bond and then immediately leaving really feels like a missed opportunity on Sanderson's part.

18. Faile, Perrin & co Travel to Caemlyn and Faile is startled by how there is a ring of clear sky around the city, breaking the cloud cover and allowing the sunlight to shine through. That's Rand's love for Elayne. <3

Faile notes here that Elayne is a younger version of her mother (she doesn't think here about how she missed the resemblance before, though now that she brings it up -- she also met Elayne in Tear, just like Perrin did, lol) and notes her pregnancy as well. Yet more people who found out before Rand did. Though Faile does not know for sure that Rand is the dad -- though he is an option that she speculates on.

19. Anyway, obviously Elayne does not execute Perrin. They make an agreement that Perrin will be a ~high lord~ in charge of the Two Rivers but underneath Elayne. It's kinda hilarious to me that Perrin flatly turns down the whole "super early betrothal" idea between his potential kid and Elayne's because of Rand and Egwene's evolving backstory throughout the first five books in the series, one version of which WAS them being ~all but promised~ since childhood, so it kinda IS a Two Rivers thing.

The political mechanism of this is going to be them having it styled as a request from RAND aka the Dragon Reborn, so it doesn't look like Elayne is giving in to the demands of rebels from the crown but is instead honoring the debt the world owes the Two Rivers for raising Rand and "the man I love", so Elayne is thinking at the point that she does intend to go public with her relationship with Rand, it seems, otherwise I don't see how that part of the plan can work. Though this may be Elayne assuming/hoping that Rand will survive the Last Battle and then they will be able to go public.

Hmmm, given that Elayne was kinda ~eh~ on whether or not she agreed with Egwene on needing to 'stop Rand' re: breaking the seals, it's interesting that she frames things that way with Perrin, as if she agrees with Egwene 100%. This conversation is all very political from Elayne's side of things, so I wonder if this part of it is as well. Or maybe Elayne has decided that Egwene is right after thinking things over.

20. ~Fortuona's~ skirt is so heavy and long that it requires five slaves to carry the train of it as she wanders around 'her' palace in Ebou Dar. Let's see what this scene is about, especially given my recent thoughts about how the little empress is a foil for Elayne, who just engaged in some clever political justifications in order to help the Two Rivers maintain autonomy.

Ah, we are being reminded that she gets off on torturing helpless women aka ~teaching lessons~ to stubborn damane. "You did not destroy a beast because it was slow to learn; you punished it until it learned." She's so repulsive in her internal narration. Also, that once again reminds me of how she treated Mat during the circus arc. Another point for 'she was slave-breaking him'. #MatDeservedBetter #PutMatInThePolycule #Yikes

She finds it soothing to watch women be tortured into whimpering and unwilling submission. How is she better than Semirhage, exactly? This is the exact same mindset that Semirhage had.

21. lol forever, the Seanchan are the biggest try-hards in the world. Her gown is covered with writings talking about how "The Empress IS Seanchan. The Empress WILL live forever. The Empress MUST be obeyed" (emphasis in the text). Someone is really really insecure, isn't she, despite her massive ego? Also, that is a straight-forward repudiation of Mat's belief that he can fight her empire without fighting her. She IS the Empire. If he openly turns against the Empire and against slavery, she will take it as a personal assault against her as a person. Speaking of Mat, she thinks here that one of the lessons she learned from her time with him was that not every noble on this side of the ocean would be plotting to assassinate her, as they might in Seanchan. That's the main lesson that she decided to take from her time with Mat. Nothing else important happened in your time with the circus? (also, I don't get how in the world she learned that from the circus journey? lol the only other Seanchan noble on that trip besides her was Egeanin, who was a. Low Blood and b. defected from the Seanchan over to the Westlanders; Fortuona is literally just making things up and creating baseless fictions in her head)

22. Ah, we are also here to show that Elaida is in the process of being broken. I had to skim over all the grossness here. I do think that a part of the reason it's Elaida here and not any other Aes Sedai is likely an attempt at softening the horror of what ~Fortuona~ is doing for the reader but, yeah, that bs does not work on me. I'm with Egwene. No one deserves to be treated like this. It's genuinely so unbelievable that the narrative wants to convince me that Mat would be willing to kiss (let alone do anything else with) a woman like this. Another character more devoid of morals and with a lack of empathy, sure. But Mat? Complete bullshit. (which is why Mat was replaced with a pod!person version of himself in CoT & KoD -- Mat's characterization change really remains the most obvious indicator that Tuon's original plot was likely quite different than what we ended up with, because Mat in WH is clearly set up to morally challenge Tuon and then in CoT & KoD, we abruptly swap to enabling & coddling her instead)

Because sure, Mat cares about people over abstract principles, but he is aware that marath'damane are people too. He barely knew Teslyn and he reworked his entire escape plan to save her. He didn't know the Windfinders at all and, again, risked his entire escape plan to help free them. Mat throwing aside the ~little people trampled under her feet~ in favor of the elite noble lady is just... not in character. It really does suck that Jordan decided to deal with punting off the issue of the Seanchan by destroying Mat rather than... any other option.

23. Anyway, the Seanchan officially now have Traveling, which I'm guessing is the other big reason we have this scene, not just as a contrast against Elayne. But we see here ~Fortuona~ wondering if she will have "unwavering loyalty" from 'Matrim' and an "impossible marriage" out of a fantasy where she will actually be able to trust the Prince of Ravens. tbh this feels like another illustration of Fortuona Just Making Up Fictions In Her Head -- Mat has explicitly told her that her empire is his enemy, and she views herself AS the empire so... no. Mat has no current plans to pledge his ~unwavering loyalty~ to her. But Fortuona has probably blocked out that part of the conversation because she didn't like it, lol.

She then immediately begins plotting her next strike against the White Tower, with this new weapon of being able to Travel directly to the enemy stronghold.

Mat, get a better wife. This one sucks.

24. Hmm, we go directly from seeing ~Fortuona~ being a terrible person, to Mat telling Perrin about being married to 'the Daughter of the Nine Moons', which he maintains is different than being married to 'the Empress of the Seanchan', so even in outside PoVs, Mat is trying to maintain that wall of pretense that Tuon isn't actually a major part of the Seanchan Empire. Interestingly, it sounds like Perrin told his own story first, so Mat & Thom (also here) are aware that Perrin is buddy-buddy with slavers (I doubt he went into detail about selling women into slavery, but he would have needed to mention allying with the Seanchan to explain how he freed Faile & Co from the Shaido). I wonder if that shaped any of their own responses to him.

And I will say, Perrin treating Mat being married to the Empress of the Slavers like the ‘of the Slavers’ part is meaningless: Ugh. I mean, it follows from his horrendous Actually Slavers Are Great People Sometimes ‘epiphany’ of KoD but it still sucks. He literally just goes "lol married man Mat" here, and has zero opinions about the quality of Mat's bride. And this is in Perrin's PoV, so if he were grossed out by Mat marrying a slaver, we would know. He is amused that Mat is married, grins a lot, and is content with just hanging out with someone who is married to a slaver. My respect for Perrin has plummeted once again.

25. Now, Thom is in this scene, so I'm going to examine his behavior closely, as promised. Very intriguing! He is the one who mentioned the marriage when he told the story (and Mat openly wishes that he hadn't) AND Mat grouses that he didn't make Mat sound heroic. Which is to say... Perrin has gotten pretty much precisely the opposite story to the one that Elayne got -- Elayne heard the version that DID make Mat sound heroic and that stopped before there was a marriage or having a slaver enforcer sent back to her empire to do more horrible things. And Thom is the one who told both of those very different stories. Hmm.

Putting this scene so soon after ~Fortuona~ thinking about how much she enjoys torturing people is, um, interesting. We have: Good Queen Elayne figuring out a bargain that will work for everyone; Torturer and Invader Tuon already planning to attack a stronghold of Team Light once again; and then Mat, who wishes people would stop bringing up his marriage.

26. lol, Thom's only comment on Tuon as a person (someone who he spent at least one whole month with, and it might have been two months idk the circus arc felt like it went on forever): "She's something interesting." lol, wow. That's the best he's willing to say about his ~good buddy Mat's wife~, huh? That's one of the best illustrations of 'damning with faint praise' that I've ever seen.

Mat himself does not offer up anything more positive about her at this time, just echoing Thom's comment.

Ugh, so grossed out by Perrin talking about how Mat's wife will expect him to know table manners. She's a slaver, Perrin. She enjoys watching people writhe in pain in front of her. Have some fucking perspective, will you?

...also, Perrin really has no room to talk about table manners. He canonically eats like a wolf.

27. Once again, Perrin confirms that Mat is now a fey creature who obeys oaths to the letter while breaking the spirit of them, apparently. Mat shows him the letter from Verin and Perrin smells it.

Aww, Mat does worry here about Verin. Well, she's dead, Mat. Read the letter instead of ignoring it.

lol, in contrast to Perrin hating when men smile, Mat notes that he wishes Grady would smile more. Don't say things like that around Perrin! He might take offense!

28. "This is why I left my wife in another kingdom". Ah, the very familiar sound of a man who is miserably married but doesn't know he's allowed to NOT be married. You will see this type of comment around the internet and it used to be pretty common on tv (especially sitcoms), though I think that's died down a bit in recent years (or I've just managed to successfully avoid the shows where it still happens). But the "please take my wife" school of 'jokes'. Happily married Grady finds the joke unpleasant. Because he actually likes his wife, I'm guessing.

Mat also notes that he feels like the world has been laughing at him recently. Then he tells Perrin that Moiraine is alive and that he plans to rescue her.

...yeah, I'm now leaning towards Thom believing that Mat is playing Tuon, because Mat's unhappiness about his marriage has not been particularly subtle, and it doesn't make sense for Thom to assume that Mat tumbled in love with her, because he's not acting like he wants to spend any time with her -- he's basically acting like he's ashamed to be married to her, given how much he openly regrets it whenever someone new learns about his marriage (even if he's the one who told them). Since Thom doesn't know about the prophecy, spy!Mat is the most logical conclusion for him to make.

I am also 100% not surprised that Perrin would fail to pick up on any subtext in Mat's feelings about ~his wife~ -- not picking up on people hiding their complex intentions and feelings behind false words has been a subplot throughout Perrin's plotline in the books (I talk, of course, of Berelain; who compared herself to Mat back in TSR and didn't chase him because she believed they were too much alike). Perrin is often baffled by why a person would say one thing and then do another contradictory thing (especially if they are feeling a third contradictory thing at the same time). Which is probably why Mat and Rand are closer friends over the course of the book series, tbh, because Rand was a lot better at picking up on that subtext from Mat just as Mat was better at figuring out what Rand's behavior meant than Perrin was.

29. Aviendha enters the forest of glass columns, expecting to see something similar to what Rand (and every Wise One and clan chief) saw. And she does. On the plus side, Avendesora has fully recovered from being burned during Rand's fight with Asmodean, which was less than a year ago. Yay, tree! We're reminded here of all the ter'angreal that Moiraine took out of Rhuidean, boxed up on caravans meant for the White Tower, but are now just... chilling in Cairhien somewhere. All that's left here is the tree, the glass forest, and the silver rings that the Wise Ones use.

30. She continues to think on whether or not tradition for its own sake is worth holding onto. And then, she actually thinks of trying to use the Talent that she discovered during her time with Elayne to find out more information on the glass columns! But she finds that this ter'angreal is much more powerful than any of the others that she had examined and she feels almost as if it is looking at her. When she turns away to leave, she finds herself drawn into a series of visions, but different ones than the ones she's already seen and came to expect.

31. Instead of the past, Aviendha sees a glimpse of a future. I use 'a' instead of 'the' because that's really the way that Wise Ones generally interface with future prophecies -- they have the silver rings and they have prophetic dreams, and BOTH of those are explicitly subject to change, both of them show possibility rather than certainty. So it makes sense that Aviendha treats this as a 'may happen' rather than 'will happen' (as Min treats her viewings). The Wise Ones always have a degree of malleability and uncertainty when it comes to their prophecies. So even though Aviendha thinks here that this vision feels more real than that of the silver rings, I do think it's partly the lessons of the rings that makes her decide not to just lie down and let the future happen to her, as so many other characters have done.

So it makes sense that the overall lesson that Aviendha takes from the glass columns is "okay, let's prevent this future".

32. The first new vision that Aviendha gets -- of a Aiel who thinks of herself as one of 'the Folk' and who lives a scrabbling life as scavengers in the desert, startles her. She wonders if interacting with the columns in the way that she did changed them. So she decides to turn around and go back into the columns, to see if there is a new lesson here.

33. The progression of lives (for part of this journey, Aviendha thinks she's viewing a distant past):

Malidra - scavenger who dies at 18 (end of Aviendha's line?)

Norlesh - we learn that the reason that the Aiel cannot trade with the 'wetlands' is due to the Raven Empress, who forbids trade with the Aiel. We learn that the reason they don't have settlements anymore is because they are attacked if they gather in large numbers, and they are not allowed back over the mountains into the wetlands.

Tava - greatmother (grandmother) to Norlesh. At fourteen, her hold was attacked and they were driven out to wander the desert. The attack was done via raken & to'raken, sounds like. We learn that this is far from the first time that a hold has been attacked -- few Aiel still hold to societies and sept/clan, because they have been forced to scattered and then regroup with new people so many times. This specific hold was deep in the waste, so they had believed it to be safe. We learn that "being known as Aiel meant death". This is when Aviendha realizes that this is not the past -- she recognizes the raken and the Seanchan uniform.

Ladalin - Wise One of the Taardad Aiel, who cannot channel and wishes that she could, so that she could help her people and remained young for longer to lead her clan. We learn that the Seanchan have done a successful job of hunting Aiel channelers, both male and female (so they may be actively using those copies of the black a'dam that Semirhage made). Ladalin is an old woman now and her entire life has been spent in battle against the Seanchan. We learn that the White Tower has just fallen and only five clans remain. The remaining Aiel decide to retreat back over the mountains and leave the wetlands to the Seanchan, hoping that their children can regroup and continue the fight in future generations. Aviendha finds Ladalin's PoV almost more confusing than the others because it is similar in some ways to Aiel culture thinking but with specific important pieces lost.

Oncala - Maiden of the Spear. Rhuidean has been besieged by the Seanchan. Oncala thinks about how the Aiel respected that the palace in Ebou Dar was the Seanchan's seat and did not attack it (until Rhuidean was attacked), yet the Seanchan attacked their place of peace. Oncala is visiting the royal palace in Caemlyn to speak with Queen Talana and is somewhat resentful that the Andoran royal family thinks themselves the equal of her own family, because they both have the blood of the Dragon. Because they know that they cannot fight the Seanchan alone, she and her family have papers that they took from the palace in Ebou Dar that show plans to attack the various places in the wetlands, thus bringing Andor into the war. However, they left out a document stating that this was a contingency plan and not an active assault being planned.

Padra - Aviendha's daughter, a Maiden of the Spear. She and her siblings have been able to channel since they were children, and she holds the Power constantly, even when she sleeps. We learn that the Seanchan have refused to let any of their enslaved channelers be released, even when the Aiel have offered to pay or trade for them. lol forever at ~the old Seanchan empress~ being considered a ~woman of honor~. Dude, I've met Fortuona. She's got no honor. Pride by the barrel, but no honor. But I guess it's easy to turn the dead into saints (actually the narration here implies that Fortuona dies relatively soon after the Last Battle, which I find interesting - "The old empress, the one who had ruled during the days of the Last Battle" does not sound like she was ruling for very long past that time period. "Many years had passed since her rule". Hmm). Anyway, this is the meeting, essentially, where the Aiel clans decide to go to active war with the Seanchan, thus kicking off the rest of the chain of events. Rhuarc's son talks to Padra after the decision has been made, about how his father felt that Rand was never truly part of the Aiel and didn't know what to do with them, leaving them at loose ends.

34. Anyway, I do think we have a couple of different motivations at work here for Sanderson: a. he needs Aviendha to decide to embrace her chosen future and not just allow the future to happen to her and b. making nice with the Seanchan is a fundamental part of the ending as Jordan had it set up in the epilogue, so he needs to make it so that the Aiel will play along with that.

However... there are some pretty big 'missing character' gaps in the vision that Aviendha has been shown. It's definitely less than a hundred years into the future in the first vision (we meet Rhuarc's son and there's no implication in the vision that he can channel) so... where is Aviendha? She can channel, and channel strongly. Same with Elayne. You'd think they might have some opinions and/or impact on the world. I kinda feel like the push-off into war probably should have taken place further into the future. Maybe have this vision have Rhuarc's grandson instead of his son, and not have any memory of seeing Rand. In a world where channelers can live hundreds of years... Amys or Melaine should still be around too, I would think. I have other questions as well. So despite Aviendha's own thoughts on it, the way that the viewings actually play out feels more like an intentional warning than a true future.

But you know, I did get a good laugh when Fortuona was called honorable, so we'll always have that.

The next reread post will probably be the last one for ToM and I'm going to save any commentary for HOW Aviendha goes about approaching changing the future for when she lays out her thoughts about it, since she hasn't said yet what her plans are, and I don't know if I've remembered them correctly. I think maybe we don't find out until AMoL. We'll see!

#wot #wheel of time #wot reread #towers of midnight #wot book spoilers #wot spoilers #aviendha #perrin aybara #elayne trakand #mat cauthon

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dudeyuri · 1 year

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I'm having thoughts and feelings about bad buddy must be a day that ends in y. But like, last episode tomorrow, kind of verklempt, need to word vomit

My first watch of Bad Buddy kind of smacked me upside the head. I know this is not a unique experience. I was left reeling for a bit. Watching Bad Buddy was the first thing I did in 2023 and I watched all 12 episodes in one sitting like a glutton and I stayed up til 1am even though I had to get up at 4am the next day (I haven't done stupid shit like that since college). Then I started my rewatch the next day. Then I put it aside for months because it was actually a physical ache in my chest when I thought about it. I just...never?? encountered such a fulfilling narrative that followed through on all its promises. Even with its deliberate deceptions and twists and uncertainties - I put my trust in Bad Buddy's narrative and was rewarded for doing so like never before.

It got me from the first episode - the first episode did what I think almost every first episode should do: tell you exactly what the story is going to be, without telling you exactly what the story is going to be. Fantastic writing, deliberate pacing, satisfying character development, pitch-perfect acting, all top-notch. It kept the energy up all throughout even as it got heavier, and stuck the landing in such a profound and bittersweet way. This was the first Thai BL I've ever watched, and probably the third BL I've ever watched period. One of my first impressions after finishing it even for the first time was that it was, maybe above all else, self aware.

My initial impression was also not a unique one: so far this is funny, charming, an exciting premise. And by episode 4 I was starting to get hit with it: this story is all those things and a knife in your gut, a lump in your throat. And it's queer, and it's tragic. Like, from the jump we see the two households both alike in dignity, we know what this is: it's Romeo and Juliet (or Kwan and Riam). We know how it ends. Pran knows how it ends. They teased us the whole show with Pran's decor, his doorknob hanger, like this show's version of a comedy and tragedy mask - what's it going to be? How's it going to end? Everyone watching knows how romcoms typically end. But everyone also knows how Romeo and Juliet ends.

In a move that can really only be described as revolutionary, Bad Buddy decided that queering the Romeo and Juliet narrative meant a happy ending. With caveats, but happy and alive and together. It was as simple as two characters finding their agency in a world trying to deprive them of it, seeing every path around them that led to tragedy, and instead trailblazing a new one that led to happiness. (everything that could be said about this has already been said; I look to this essay by @chickenstrangers often!! helped me make sense of pat gets shot lol. MK I hope you're not sick of people linking this left and right). It's a narrative choice that resounds.

I was personally struck by that specific pain Pat and Pran experience, the pain of having to lie to your parents and keep love a secret from them - is there a queer person out there who doesn't relate to that in a bone-achingly deep way? Regardless of your relationship with your family. Having to partition yourself like this is part of the queer experience. And it's exhausting because you just have to live like this. It's exhausting because the people who are supposed to love you have made a liar of you instead. You can be surviving and thriving and happy, but your parents will still ask your siblings about their love lives and ask you about the weather (too real??? oops). There's a hint at a possible thawing in the final episode that gives hope, but Bad Buddy does not magically make the parents realize they were wrong and accept their sons' love - I mean, that just doesn't happen. It would have made for a disingenuous ending, it would have been a disservice to the narrative and to the viewers and to the metaphor. If you're lucky enough to have parents who would, you're lucky. It's a sad truth. "We can't change the world...but the world can't change us either."

At first glance, Bad Buddy plays in the "BL bubble". Upon a slightly closer examination Bad Buddy says there can never really be a bubble--stories aren't crafted in a vacuum, the dominant ideology that is homophobia traumatizes and endangers and oppresses all who do not align with it, still there are happy endings for us here. We find each other and carve them out ourselves. To say all this, and to not veer into heavy-handed "yeah okay we get it" territory is a feat honestly! Seldom accomplished in such a riveting and sexy way! How refreshing! Bad Buddy reminded me of reading a good poem - upon first read, a good poem is about "a thing," and it's evocative as is and you don't even have to read it again to enjoy it. But you can also consider it carefully and unearth "the other thing," a deeper meaning, the answer to "why was this written?". Bad Buddy trusts its viewers to get there. I mean I know it's really not much of a hidden message, but again, they are subtle with it, iykyk etc. BB doesn't hold our hand, but it takes our trust and respects it and doesn't break it (though it shakes the jar, like quite a bit, lol. All good stories should tbh).

I think a lot about the form, too. In a less capable storyteller's hands 12 one-hour-long episodes can drag (I'm thinking of some recent gmmtv BLs lol), or even not be enough (I feel like I personally see that in a lot of western shows whose fanbases are out here begging for second seasons to tie up loose ends). P'Aof (and co.) knew exactly what to do with 12 episodes. Has anyone in the entire history of TeleVision ever known what to do with 12 one-hour-long episodes as undeniably as P'Aof and co in making Bad Buddy??

I know I'm being a little dramatic, excessively lauding good writing like this. Like yeah stories should be good and thoughtful and make sense, of fucking course. But I just have to appreciate it in a genre, in a capitalist reality, where a story does not have to be profound or clever or full of love to be marketable. They truly did not have to go this hard. (Though the writer in me who now considers Aof a personal idol also thinks: yes of course they absolutely did have to go this hard in fact It Is The Only Way). I'm so so grateful for it for so many reasons!! And I didn't even breach the topic of how fun and sexy I think Pat and Pran are together. Didn't even mention the fingersucking, the scent kink, the kissies - all genuinely just as important to me as everything else. It's all in the making of a good story! I am taking notes through my tears and I am so thankful

#bad buddy #when you adapt the most adapted tragic love story ever and ‘knocked it out of the park’ is an understatement

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sharkfinn · 5 months

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Hey, you said that you came up with the Little Brother au before you started Tumblr, right?

So, since I haven't been following you for that long, or at least, I think so, what was your inspiration for making this au? When did you exactly come up with the idea? Do you have any original title names?

Also, a silly question: What are all the fandoms you are currently in? Just in case your pinned post is outdated :]

oh man. hmm

i got into tmnt 4th april 2021, because i wanted to rewatch 2012, only remembered some of it from when i was little, then deciding yup i want to look at everything tmnt. then i got hyperfixated

he started out as a really ambiguous any iteration oc, around the time i was reading the northampton arc of idw, (late juneish 2021?) was when i first drew him, all it was was just hehe silly green masked ninja turtle in sophie campbells idw artstyle

(i love sophie campbells art its so good)

then i drew him in the 2012 series, and he became more of his own character. in my old idea for 2012 he was significantly moody and overconfident, had his own abandoned area in the subway tunnels for spraypainting, was good buddies with raph but really didnt like leo at all. also had a scar on his shell, for some reason?? i wont say why but he can super easily be slapped into another iteration and i love that

it was only when i watched rise and tried to imagine him in their universe too that i went hold on- we got a whole potential story here. little brother was a placeholder title really, but i couldnt think of anything better soo. little brother.

the vine flesh concept was an absolutely random idea at first that was way too cool to drop.

i did have this whole really cool arc planned where eventually draxum did get tricked into allying with the foot, theyd protect five whod help fight the mad dogs for the kuroi yoroi shards, ("looking for this?") and hed also be able to sabotage the armour in some way.

but. i couldnt have this in because 1. distract way too much from the story i want to tell. 2. having shredder appear in the comic would ask for an entire shredder arc and respectfully no thanks lol.

just imagine five is in s2 trust me hes there hes awesome (oh and you know how in canon, shredder needed to take power from draxum, and it looked like he took the vines power from him? uhuh. and you know how five also has it? but instead its the only thing keeping him stuck together? uhuh. anyways!)

ohh!! cool oc trivia- his weapon was kinda undecided between tonfa (before i watched rise) or two scythes i referenced it in page 20 :D !!

his weapon would still be scythes i think, if he wasnt using the vines as his weapon

and no i try to keep my master post updated all the time, theres HEAPS more stuff i like, just complicated to think what to put on there? for example i looove how to train your dragon, but havent seen much of it past rewatching the 3 movies, thats nothing compared to rewatching all of adventure time 5 times. i dunno!

the way my interests work is that theres a selection of 1-3 that my brain focuses on, but it doesnt make any of the others less or i stopped liking them at all or anything. i have so many interests help me

right NOW im really hyperfixated on danny phantom and tf2!!

#little brother au #sharkfinnasks #rottmnt #rottmnt au #rottmnt oc

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remedyturtles · 8 months

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death wish facts/stats

entirely complied for my own amusement lol

first of all, this is how long i was actually working on death wish, saved in 5k increments:

now i didn't track my stats for the whole time but here's an example of how much that translates to daily writing. this is some of july:

here's the final count from my word doc. i do my final edit in the ao3 browser so i guess some got cut:

here's the stats of my planning doc:

whatever you're imagining my planning doc to look like, it's probably not that. it's kinda a huge mess, actually. i've shuffled things around constantly bc i boot the 'used' plot points into a giant pile and they get all messed up. it's a shame i didn't save more versions of this honestly bc it probably would've been fascinating. behold the inside of my brain:

to go even further back, mid-may i was left alone at work for like two hours to do a course and ended up scribbling the FIRST ideas i had for death wish on a piece of paper. whited out are unused/irrelevant things:

wild to me to realize which of those lines were literally from my absolute first thoughts of this fic LMAO

at one point i had to track how many days it had been in-story since the invasion bc i lost count. by the end of the fic i believe it had been 25 days, with 10 days at the beginning of leo being not-present. so 155k for 15 days hahahahahaha

i made a death wish playlist at one point and listened to it non-stop while writing. here it is:

it's all so incredibly loud and rosyln were on repeat for the iconic chapter 29 and it makes me so emotional

however then for chapter 30 for some reason my brain only wanted the kim possible theme song on repeat. you know how it is.

when i first decided on most plot points and began writing i said to someone it would probably be like 100-150k. i was right, though i'm surprised to be on the top end for sure. i would not expect this again, it was definitely a perfect storm. i normally do like ~40-80k.

i knew exactly how the fic would end before i wrote a single word. as much as i love and there is a place for wish fulfillment (eg future!donnie gets to come back, sensei gets his own body) my thing was that i knew people reading it would relate to the story. and i want to have... hopeful realism? like, if you have experienced grief and you related to sensei, i don't want to say 'haha your loved ones are actually alive!!!' ... i want to say, bad things happen, you will find other reasons to live. and for anyone who related to sensei and leo's situation (eg DID) i felt like magically giving sensei a body wouldn't be fair, bc that won't happen. instead they can work together and get through. if that makes sense LMAO

i have three side fics planned atm. two of them will be probably 2-5k each, the third will be like... idk. 15k? i haven't started yet i promise i'm still taking a rest hahahaha

thanks for reading hah

#fic stuff #death wish

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joyswonderland1108 · 8 months

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3D.

Alrighty tighty i'm finally home and i can finally make my post peacefully, i didn't want to just dive into it earlier since i was busy, not at home and it might've been a bunch of bullshit (not saying this might be perfect either but you get me)

So after the release of 3D there was a lot of opinions, very divided opinions, i gave my opinion as well, a very short post but hey don't blame me the release time was 5:00am for me lol. There was also a lot of policing.

Now i don't know if it's just me who hasn't seen that on the tl or are people completely misunderstanding some opinions. With that being said, everybody is entitled to their own opinion as much as YOU have an opinion another person has their own and YOU have no right to police them on their opinion and THEY have no right to police you on yours, as long as it stays respectful with those who deserve respect that is.

Before i start i would like to mention here @andy-wm 's post, very wise, very insightful, please do check it out :

It was very well written, nothing out of context, nothing shady and i didn't want to reblog and make the post even longer so instead i decided to make a separate post while referring to it.

Following up, and this is of course from here on my own opinion. I've seen some people call out others about "shading JK" and maybe IIIIII personally just didn't see those posts but if they're talking about the people who aren't comfortable with Jack's part then i don't know how is that shady towards JK? But again maybe this is just me missing the point of the posts because up until now i haven't seen anyone shade JK, the comments were more about Jack's part.

Again some people felt the need to invalidate people's feelings about Jack's part saying that "If they think Jack's part is bad that means they haven't listened to rap before" or "he's talking about himself he's not degrading women" or "People are not ready to accept JK the way he is because of a picture they painted of him, they're not ready to hear about him having sex" yada yada

First i would like to say that it's not about sex nor is it about JK. You mean to tell me i get JK singing about sex and the way he likes it? FUCK YEAH! TMI here but many of us are sex addicts and kinky af so saying that people are "criticizing" because of the sex is a bit.. too quick of a judgement.

Second thing this is exactly why people are saying that they prefer the alternate version better, it's still about sex but it's just JK without Jack's part. How is that not clear enough that the problem here is Jack?

"They must've never listened to rap before"

You do realize that BTS have a rap line right? Also, just because it's rap it doesn't mean i have to normalize some shit people rap about you know.. And maybe let's not generalize and speak about rappers putting them all in the same bubble, not all rappers rap about the same thing, a lot of rappers don't touch some subjects and stay miles away from them, and before you say again "the sex part" AGAIN it's NOT about the sex.

"He's talking about himself, calling himself a whore"

Okay here i have to agree and disagree. Yes he did call HIMSELF a whore but let's rewind back a bit "I'm on my Jungkook" so basically he is not talking about himself but he is talking about the him that is JK which also means that whatever he was singing about was a description of him being JK let's not forget about that.

Another thing would be that he didn't concretely call those women whores but it was heavily implied, sprinkles of misogyny here and there. Talking about women like they're a piece of meat, like they're something to get bored of, a hole to fuck and throw when it no longer satisfies you, having women lining up for you to use um..? Let's please not normalize this now shall we?

"People are not ready to accept that JK has sex"

Uhm, he's 26 years old? And i believe i myself and many bloggers here talked before about how he's not some virgin maiden of fucking course he's having sex. Yes some people still see him as the 13yo baby star candy (He's still baby star candy just not a literal baby) but many people already came to terms with the fact that he's fucking 26yo.

And those who are only talking about the sex reference in Seven to defend the fact that he's a grown up who has sex and can sing about having sex, i guess y'all are completely forgetting that the sex references didn't only start with Seven lol Need i remind you "Ramyeon meokgo gallae?" and just not to make the post longer than needed there were many instances where he openly talked about sexual stuff let's also not forget his mini concert with "Unholy".

The thing that bothers me with this whole situation is the policing about respectful opinions that not once were shady towards JK nor were they words meant about JK. Army all agreed that ON ft Sia was just not it and that was okay they had no problem hating Sia's part but now that some Army expressed their discomfort with Jack's part and said they prefer the version with JK only they are being cancelled left and right and called antis, how are they JK antis if they only like JK's part?

Another example i want to add is Abel. Remember when The Idol dropped many Army came for Jennie saying that she agreed to act in a show produced by Abel who disrespected women, made very misogynistic comments about them, sexist, yada yada. So exactly why wasn't that normalized? Why were Army calling out the misogyny back then but not now? Maybe if it was a BTS member who was acting in the show then Abel would've never been called out?

A little reminder again, some women are completely okay with misogyny actually, they think it's completely normal for women to be treated like objects and like men's property. Sorry but i personally don't think that way and many others don't think that way so if YOU think Jack degrading women like this is okay IIIIII don't have to think it's okay.

Again and again and again, we go back to the same conclusion that the whole problem here was never JK. Sue me but i love JK and whatever he does and that boy not ONE time said anything derogatory about women, heck boy even while singing about giving a massive orgasm he was asking for consent, so sexy of him!

In conclusion, i hope people can stop this whole unnecessary war about having different opinions. We're all here loving JK (not talking about actual antis and solos trying to shade him for breathing) but we don't all love Jack, we don't all love Jack's part and trust me if it turns out that the alternate version's streams will be counted/combined with the main version, a lot will only stream that one because again, they are free to like or dislike that man or the part he added to that song.

With that being said, STREAM 3D Y'ALL AND STOP WITH THE CHILDISH ARGUMENTS!!! STREAM STREAM STREAM!!! I shared the 3 playlists i use you can use them as well if you want to.

Salutation.

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pinktom · 7 months

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hi! you've mentioned a few times that the current version of Lover's Spit is a re-write of a previous version. Sadly I wasn't around for said previous version so I can't tell how much has changed (though, rest assured, I absolutely adore the fic as it is)

So what I was wondering is how did you go about writing it again? I have a couple unpublished fics that I'm not happy with in their current forms (my writing style has changed, I've learnt about writing tricks to make it flow better, learnt proper dialogue punctuation...) but I find re-writing to be a very difficult and tedious exercise which puts me off doing it. I'm guessing that I just haven't found a good way to do it, which is a shame because the fics are good, they just need to be made better before I can be comfortable publishing them.

So I wanted to know, how did you completely re-write what you had already written? Please be as detailed as you want in your answer, I love this type of stuff lol

I can't wait for the next installment of Lover's Spit, and I hope your writing is going well xx

First of all, I’m honored you’d ask for my humble opinion here, and I wish you all the best of luck with your rewrites. ❤️

I also cannot tell you how uncanny your question is. A few months ago, I toyed with the idea of re-posting the original Lover’s Spit for exactly this purpose—so that other fic writers could read it, instructively, as I used so very many fics over the years. (I'm still on the fence about whether it's a stupid idea, lol.)

Reflecting back on the experience, I think I have some potentially useful tips.

Writing is a masochistic hobby. The first four chapters of Lover’s Spit threatened all three of my brain cells, and it wasn’t really very fun for me to write them. Having a ‘big picture’ is, paradoxically, what kept me grounded during that time, and this is my first piece of advice.

I’d recommend looking at a single unfinished piece you wrote, and deciding, from a bird’s eye view, what the point of the story is. What is your objective, really? Then look at how you can reframe all of the existing scenes into a cohesive picture.

This way your attention is probably less focused on flexing all of the new techniques (still, slay & flaunt it 💅🏻) and more on telling an entertaining story with heart.

When we drafted the original story, there was no intentional objective. It was just for fun. This go around, I did go in with a very specific objective: to explore how real life intersects with the internet.

So every time I rewrote certain scenes, I wasn’t just retelling the scene with better words. I was attempting to focus the scene (via imagery, dialogue, diction) on that clear, concise objective. For example, the current version of Lover’s Spit begins slower, and lingers more, really to emphasize how boring normal life can be. The internet scenes, by contrast, are shorter, whippier, and don’t take up much real estate. I also include more descriptive lines about the town, throughout the story, and spend far more time in Harry’s head, chewing kind of tediously through his character development. I wanted to intentionally set an ultra high contrast on IRL and internet life, and many scenes look completely different because of it.

Along those lines: You may feel more enthusiastic if you add one or two more details that are new and refreshing, that really excite you. It doesn’t need to be ultra tangible either. For the Lover’s Spit rewrite, I challenged myself to add more mystery and anticipation, particularly where it concerns what’s going on in Tom’s head. This made rewriting certain scenes tricky, but more fun, because I had to be more inventive but I also got to indulge in the character-building aspect of it, which I enjoy.

And also, I learned how to embrace bitter work, to grin and bear it, because the payoff is worth it. I can look at forty word passages that took me an entire Saturday afternoon. I'm a grown woman, I work full-time, I like to party. That shit hurts! But because I have an objective—a point to get across, to share with people—I really feel it's worth it to sacrifice the time and endure the tedium.

But all that said, I will also say there's no shame in leaving projects on the back burner. If it's not fun for you to write, it may not be the best investment of your time, or perhaps not the right time to tell the story. I was actually about your age when I wrote the first Lover's Spit (I was 22), and I'm glad I took my time to return, because I wasn't mature enough to tell the story I knew deep down I wanted to tell.

#writing #lover’s spit #asks

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bluebelleix · 4 months

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(OLD)The Three Sisters of The Court

(They won't be that relevant to Claire' backstory now but they're still there)

They were first mentioned in Claire's introduction(?) and I gave in to give them designs.

HERE THEY ARE!!

Okay so,:

Technically they're the same age as the Headmaster, Meliadoul Amy and Innocent Zero, which is around 118 years old because they were each "blessed" by the God of Justice, Themis.

The oldest of them all is Liliane Laodice; although all of them work in The Court, she's the only who uses it as her main job. She mostly works as the Judge and handles the cases paperworks.

She usually doesn't go out very much so you might not even meet her in public. When trying to meet with her, her schedule is apparently "always busy", so there's already a small chance of meeting her.

Maybe do a crime and get to meet her in Court I guess lol.

The middle one is Elodie Laodice; she's the one who adopted Claire. If you're wondering why would she adopt a child when she's like really old, it's because she wants the law to change without really interfering directly.

She thinks the law around the magic world is getting, well, outdated because they haven't really advanced forward because of the law. Hence one day, she just.. decided to teach someone, train someone early on and change the fate of the world.

Of course she doesn't want to just train someone that's already mature because they might already be influenced that the world is "perfect". So she decided to adopt a child, a child that haven't even experienced the world yet and how it works.

Maybe they can have a different view if she showed them the flaws. If she gives an opportunity to them, would they take it and change the future?

..Onto the last one which is the youngest, Dinah Laodice. She currently works as a religious teacher at Saint Ars (I suspect that Saint Ars might be religious with like the theme around it lol) and a nun at the local church.

She's usually quiet and doesn't speak much and sometimes scares people every time she opens her mouth because they forgot she was there.

She doesn't open up very often and always leaves on time and just like her oldest, no one can really find after school. Students have said that they saw her in the school's courtyard but those seems to be rumours because no one really have evidence for it.

Elodie and Claire's relationship is uhh..hard to say.

Does Claire view her as a mother? Eh depends, from early on as a kid, Claire has always called her "miss". However she does feel a sting in her heart when she realises she doesn't really have anyone to call "mom".

It's not like Elodie doesn't view Claire as her own child but she doesn't exactly call herself a mother. After all, she already a few workers to take care of her while she guides her to a better future she can make.

It's really a complicated relationship but they don't talk it out because one's an older person that thinks what they're doing is right without thinking about the consequences while the other is a child who actually didn't really have any experience in the world and just follows along like a sheep.

..Claire does take it for granted though, after all, she could have a worst fate right? Being adopted by one of the higher ups is already good enough so she really shouldn't complained. She just needs to follow along the script that Miss had made.

#mashle oc #fanmade #oc x canon #mashle #saint ars #artists on tumblr #complicated mother and daughter relationship #sorta

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wildrbst · 2 years

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So based on mob psycho and my hero, can you draw Reigen as a Pro hero teacher at Yuuei please? You can design what his hero identity would be.

Ok this request was really hard for me because I'm terrible when it comes to making stories.

I think Reigen would either have a very weak/useless quirk (like changing his hair color) or he would be quirkless.

You can probably guess what these two are saying. Sorry. I got lazy :")

Now watch me try to write him a backstory at 1am ;) (but to be honest, it wouldn't be much better if i had written this at 10 am lol)

Let's go with quirkless because angst n plot! Also it just fits better, i think.

He has been lying to everybody that he has a quirk since middle school. A quirk like Silver tongue would be fitting but make people more wary of him, so he convinced people he has something else, sth cool. He can probably do all types of magic tricks n then said that's his quirk. When he started Spirits and Such, he obviously also started lying to everybody that he has a sort of psychic quirk. (Imagine if he meets somebody from school and now has to convince them that his quirk has changed or he was hiding his "real" quirk because his psychic ability was so powerful that would have been too dangerous for himself to reveal it. What if he had gotten kidnapped by villains!?)

So all the stuffs from MP100 still happened with little changes. Because power exists, why not ghosts? And power specifically linked to ghosts? Or quirks that is similar to psychic abilities. Or maybe quirks are actually a result of some supernatural incident, pretty sure quirks just kinda appeared one day in mha so that should works.

Now how did he got into all this anyways? I think it started out as self defense, the places he frequents and the people he deals with tend to be a bit shady after all. Then it became dealing with small criminals like purse snatchers or bullies. He uses his words most of the time and only use violence as a last resort. (Because he isn't THAT good at fighting) Everything was going fine for a while, people even gave him gifts to show their gratitude, but one time he unknowingly threw somebody from a small gang in jail. The gang confronted him. He probably bullshitted his way out of it but that was a close call. (He started training seriously after that, mostly still for self-defense) He really should hide his identity whenever he decide to play hero, but it's not like he can plan when he stumble across a mugging... He decided just change his tie and wear a mask lol

And it actually worked!

That's how he unintentionally became the local vigilante.

(Ok kinda random, and idk if it works well or not since i last watched mp100 a year ago, but at first Reigen just says whatever put him in the best situation, he only thinks about himself. After he met mob though, an increasing number of his confrontations became counseling sections.)

Ok so like i said, all the stuffs form mp100 still happened, with little change. And that was what thrusted him into the spot light.

But when exactly? How? Also why haven't the police caught him? While it's technically not illegal because he is quirkless, the police don't know that (yet). I couldn't come up with anything so naturally i turned to fanfics for inspiration. And Balanced at the hilt works really really well. Just copy paste it here, it's exactly what i want. There's even a reason why he decided to go beyond accidental heroism and actively go on patrol (there are very few heros, maybe none in that area because some big incident happened 20 years ago, which makes it a paradise for villains) He still try to only focus on small criminals of course.

Stuffs happens, now he is officially an underground hero and a teacher at Yuuei. His quirklessness is still a secret. Only a few know the truth and i think you can guess who. The officials all agree it would be more beneficial if they keep that hidden too (or he just convinced them). Spirit and Such is still opened, now run by Serizawa and Dimple, the kids stop by to help out sometimes too.

#request #oh fck ur request makes me really wanna draw mp100 fanart now #no idea here. i just want to draw them #dkdlfjskdnfnslksd #i gotta finish my wip #i gotts finish my wipS #mp100 #reigen

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steeklover · 1 year

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i never thought of stan/tweek before but you got me hella interested in the dynamic.. /pos

ahem...allow me to explain my lore behind this ship-

So I started shipping Steek not long after I joined the SP fandom, it was completely be accident if I'm being honest. I was trying to come up with a Stan-centric fic idea that would be based off the You're Getting Old/Assburgers episodes because I thought those episodes were really good and I love Stan!

I knew I wanted to make it a ship fic but I didn't know who to ship him with. When I first joined the fandom the only Stan ship I really knew about was Style but I didn't want to write it as a Style fic which left me searching for another Stan ship to use and I admittedly went to whatever Stan x Tweek was.

I went straight to Tweek because he's my favorite character but I didn't know anything about Steek, I didn't even know if it was a thing. So I did some research about it and found that there was some content out there but not a lot. The idea I came up with was pretty cute in my opinion and I'll link the two versions I have of the fic in case you haven't read them yet but would like to.

As I continued to dive further into the fandom and more specifically Steek, the ship quickly became my OTP which brings me to today where I can not shut up about them. They are literally all I think about and they bring me so much joy that all I want to do is create more content for them.

I can't decide whether I'm shocked or not that more people don't consider Stan and Tweek. The people that I've come across that don't like the ship usually dislike it for two reasons. The first reason is because they don't like the idea of shipping Tweek with anyone other than Craig which you can't really do anything about because haters are going to hate.

The second reason I've seen is because canon-wise Stan wasn't exactly the nicest to Tweek so people think he would be too mean to Tweek. Personally, I completely disagree with that. Sure Stan is a little shit and there were times when he was a little hard on Tweek but so was Kyle and yet I see a lot of Twyle content out there. There were also times where Stan was nice to Tweek like when he said he liked him better than he liked Butters (although I don't know if that's saying much) or when he tried to assure Tweek that things would be okay when Tweek didn't make enough paper hats in Free Hat.

Also, in seasons 2, 3 and 6, the main 4 weren't really fleshed out that much (at least in my opinion but I know others feel the same way) so of course Stan is going to act like a little boy who's a jerk, that's basically what all the main kids were in the earlier seasons. Now we have more of a personality for him but we haven't been able to really see how that would work with Tweek.

Besides, you can't really go off of canon here because Stan and Tweek barely interact with each other. I feel like for most South Park ships you can't go off of canon except for little background moments or like two or three lines that two characters happen to exchange. I see a lot of people say how do people ship this? or they barely interact and it's more about what they could be rather than what they actually are, at least in my opinion.

And also, if they hate each other than why not have enemies to lovers Steek???

Also I'm not trying to say that anyone's opinions or invalid by pointing these reasons out. I myself have ships that I don't like but I know others do. Even though their reasoning for liking that ship may not appeal to me, I still respect those opinions so I hope that you will respect mine too!! I'm not trying to call anyone out lol 😊😊

The number one reason why I probably ship these two is because they are both my favorite SP characters, one being Tweek and two being Stan (sometimes I find them being tied though) but I DO think they would work well together.

They both seem to be more in touch with their emotions versus Craig and Kyle who are more in touch with their logical sides. Because of this, I feel like Stan and Tweek would understand each other pretty well. I can't imagine either of them being hard on each other or not listening to each other when they're having their issues because they both have experience with not being listened to (Stan with Kyle in You're Getting Old/Assburgers and Tweek in Put It Down, and also not being listened to by their parents). I feel like they could sympathize with each other because of that and even though they might get frustrated with one another, I think they would try their best to understand and help.

I also find that they seem to have a lot in common. They both seem to have a love for animals, they both seem to like music and they both like legos. I think those would be things that they would bond over and have fun together with.

I can see them fitting into a lot of relationship dynamics (going off of Pinterest lol). Again they could be enemies to lovers if you want both of them (or at least Stan) to be little pricks. I can see them both being little jerks that only like each other plus a select group of people. I can see them as the nerd x jock trop with both of them in either role but preferably jock Stan x nerd Tweek. I'm in LOVE with the idea of goth Stan x sweetheart Tweek, I saw this comic about it on Pinterest and I think it's the cutest thing I've ever seen. They DEFIENTLY fit the moon x sun dynamic! There's more but I can basically imagine them in any trope/dynamic, maybe it's because they can actually work together or maybe it's because I'm forcing it too much.

You probably shouldn't have sent me this ask if you were looking for a short reply because I will literally take any chance I get to go on a rant about these two! 😂😂 I just love Steek so much and I really wish more people would be open to it. I have seen a little surge in the content for the pairing, like there's a few fanfictions that have come out and I've seen some new artwork for them. I think there's a lot of people that are interested in the pairing or are at least open to it but not enough to engage themselves in the content, if that makes sense. That's why I've made it my goal to try and produce as much content for the ship as possible, the soul purpose being that I want more people to pay attention to them. Call me selfish I guess-

I don't know how you came upon my blog but if you want to, here's some of my favorite Steek things if you'd like to take a look:

I Can't Handle Change Version 1 - By Moi

I Can't Handle Change Version 2 - By Moi

Goth Stan x Sweetheart Tweek Comic - By Unknown

Drawing - By @ari-nee-23

Drawing - By @kvsagi

Drawing - By Unknown

Drawing - By @naitosutan

Drawing - By @kingukairu

Lastly, did you know that Stan has canonically given Tweek a rose?

That's all. Sorry for such a long response again, I couldn't restrain myself from writing an essay. Hope you liked the response and thanks for the asks, it made me so happy as soon as I saw it! Have a great day anon!! ❤️❤️❤️

#sorry for such a long response #i know not everyone is into that #but i just had to rant #tell me your desperate without telling me your desperate #😂😂#i'll take any chance i get to talk about steek #asks #steek #sp steek #thanks for the ask!!

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dream-beyond-the-dawn · 1 month

Text

Coffee and meetings (Aph Russia omo)

This was requested by anon so...here ya go. If you're reading this, I hope you like it. I'm not proud of it because it's definitely not my best work. Truth be told I haven't really been in the Hetalia fandom since I was like 14 lol almost 10 years ago. But I tried lol.

Meeting after meeting after meeting. That's all Ivan had done ever since the time he woke up that morning. He took another sip of what had to be at least his third coffee that morning while glancing at his watch from the break room. He still had 15 minutes to finish his coffee.

He relaxed back in his office chair. He probably could be spending his break doing something more productive- considering he was about to attend a meeting lead by the notorious talker- Alfred Jones. But all he wanted to do now was sip on his coffee in the break room with no one there to bother him.

At least it was his last meeting of the day. And it was only an ally meeting so that meant less people.

Ivan finished his cup of coffee, deciding he should probably go to the bathroom before the meeting started. They were notorious for lasting anywhere from thirty minutes to a couple hours. He didn't usually even have anything to say. Ivan preferred to listen and not speak up much. That and he knew a lot of people found him intimidating, something that didn't bother him.

He turned the corner to the bathrooms only to see they were both cautioned off. Then he remembered someone mentioning in passing that the building was being partly remodeled. He was pretty familiar with this place by now and he knew that they only had one bathroom.

Maybe drinking three cups of coffee wasn't a good idea. But he shrugged it off and headed to the meeting anyway. He'd never particularly had a small bladder anyway so he would be fine.

He sat by himself on the very end, far from anyone. He wasn't sure what the meeting was about but he didn't really care.

"We have a lot of ground to cover today." Alfred started out, sounding as enthusiastic as ever. "We're going to be discussing national security. Does anyone want to start?"

Ivan tuned out most of what was being said. Ludwig started the conversation which wasn't exactly shocking.

So far all the meeting has consisted of was a projector playing a video of what each country was doing in an attempt to lower crime. Some of them admittedly weren't bad ideas but there was something distracting him.

The coffee that he drank was starting to fill his bladder. It wasn't bad yet but if the meeting lasted as long as predicted then a potential problem was in the making. And only 30 minutes had passed too.

Ivan leaned back in his chair and tried to get comfortable while each person took turns on their speech after their segment of the slideshow ended. He knew his turn was coming up which made him nervous. Public speaking had never been his thing. It wasn't necessary that he was shy- he just didn't particularly enjoy any attention drawn to himself.

Which is why he had to be even more careful with anyone catching on to his predicament.

"Ivan what about you?"

He stiffened. What were they even talking about? He was so focused on his bladder that he wasn't paying a bit of attention to what anyone was even saying.

"Forgive me, I am just a bit jet lagged, da. I'll sit this one out." He said it with a smile but knew it came off as forced.

There were times when everyone being various levels of scared of him paid off. This was one of them.

He got a few somewhat annoyed glances from the others who likely didn't want to speak up either but he didn't care. The sooner this was over the better.

Something he'd learned how to do throughout all the years of having to attend meetings, he had learned to tune them almost out by distracting himself.

Sometimes he would tell himself stories and sometimes he would reminisce on the past.

Right now he was finding it hard to do anything other than think about how badly he needed to use the bathroom.

He glanced at the clock. The meeting hadn't even made it past two hours. He was glad his sister, Katyusha wasn't there. She definitely would have noticed and likely said something. His other sister- well he didn't want to talk about her.

Another hour passed and Ivan was now starting to sweat. He was so focused on anything other than his bladder that he didn't notice Feliciano address him out of concern.

"Are you okay? You don't look too good."

Shit. Now they were all paying attention to him. They all knew. They had to.

The stress of his situation made a single drop escape Ivan, who was trying not to panic. He let this go on for too long.

"Are you okay dude? You look like you're about to puke." Alfred paused the slideshow that was playing. "do you need to step outside?"

Ivan stood up, barely managing to keep a relaxed posture and exited the room without word. He was too desperate to worry about how embarrassed he would definitely be about that later.

When he turned down the hall away from the room, he stopped and grabbed himself, crossing his legs. He bit the inside of his cheek so hard it started to bleed. 'I can do this.'

After being hunched over for a few seconds he was finally able to gain some control. His bladder throbbed in pain, begging for release.

Ivan tried to make it to the exit building- if he could just go outside he could-

"Dammit!" He was hit by a wave of desperation so strong that even holding himself wasn't doing anything to help him hold it back all that did was make him realize how wet his pants were.

Ivan took one more agonizing step towards the door and that was the breaking point. He stared down in shame as his light colored pants turned dark as they became saturated with piss.

The feeling of relief was unlike anything he'd ever felt before. He couldn't hold back the small sounds of pleasure he made.

It took about three entire minutes before he was done. Now be was left with cooling wet pants. Ivan took his coat off and wrapped it around his waist which made it hard to see what had just happened.

He looked up when he heard the sound of a door shutting followed by footsteps. He quickly hid behind a door to one of the other rooms so no one would see him.

"Where did Ivan go?" Arthur asked sounding impassive.

"He didn't look like he felt good. I bet he went home." Alfred responded back.

So they must've been leaving together. That meant he would either have to sneak out after them or wait until everyone else left.

"He's not supposed to be doing that."

"Did you wanna be the one to stop him? C'mon the dude is nuts sometimes. I don't want him to beat me with his magical pipe of pain."

That was all he heard before they left. By now his pants were extremely uncomfortable but he noticed a small clothing store across the street. It would certainly beat driving back to his hotel with wet pants.

He waited a few minutes before leaving the building and heading straight for the clothing store. He wasn't sure where everyone else was but he didn't want to stick around and find out.

#omorashi #omorashi fanfiction #hetalia omorashi #anime omorashi #male omorashi

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mcrmadness · 2 months

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Ok ever since I started learning German (over 10 years ago), I've been unable to memorize what the fuck do "direct object" and "indirect object" mean. I just haven't been able to get them to sink in. I understand what accusative and dative are, and I know how to use them just fine! But the problem is: I have never ever been able to connect either with direct or indirect object, and every educational website talking about those has had me so completely confused and that all would have been solved if they just said "this verb needs the noun to be in accusative/dative case".

Now, I was studying things on Busuu, and again I faced this problem. What the fuck is indirect and direct, and how on earth should I remember which is which. In my brain, dative is STRONGER as a case, so I always think it's the DIRECT one. But it's not, it's indirect, and I again don't understand why's that. So I decided to look into this now, to see if my native language Finnish could help here. And no, I still don't exactly understand the deal with indirect and direct, but I figured out:

I never understood those grammar terms in the first place, because Finnish has no concept of indirect and direct object. Mindblown.

That is also why I understand the accusative and dative cases as terms much much better, cos we've got ~15 of those cases. (But a fun fact: none of them is a dative case, and also the accusative is basically invisible lol.)

#mcrmadness' random stuff #language learning #langblr #german #finnish

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shameonmeeguiltypleasure · 1 year

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This has been itching in my brain for a while but I kind of just assumed that Colin and Eloise were the exceptions with having darker personalities based on what Anthony said in an earlier chapter and never thought much of it until I read the latest update with Colin's inner monologue concerning his sisters' wrath. Add in the fact that neither of the brothers were surprised at Colin's violent outburst (although this could be just because they are both used to it). And now I'm wondering if Anthony is just an unreliable narrator or is the entire family dark as well?

And speaking of dark, I know you said Pen is an unreliable narrator when it comes to family but does that only concern their love for her or is she also unaware of her family's darker aspects?

BTW, i love SMB. Like literally the chokehold that your fanfic has on me is unholy.

I love you Anon, thank you so much for asking!!

So when I shared Anthony's pov in that earlier chapter, I was still hemming and hawing about the way I wanted to portray Polin's siblings. It isn't till recently I decided to fully commit to the dark side and give shades of grey & black to the characters. Your ask definitely reminded me that I need to update the tags with 'Unreliable narrator' as depending on the sibling and the perspective, the character will read differently.

This was also due to how Colin and Eloise's talk went. Their relationship is extremely complicated (if you haven't noticed lol). She'll give you her experience growing up with Colin when I get to work on her book. The Bridgerton Siblings aren't dark per se… they just had to adapt to Colin who was an incredibly unrelenting force as a child. After Edmund died, Violet fell into depression and Anthony was drowning with responsibility with Benedict & Daphne doing their best to help him stay afloat, Colin was sort of left alone. Eloise wasn't talking. Franny, Greg & Hyacinth were definitely more minded than Colin and Eloise.

And the assumption was that COLIN was looking after Eloise, helping her through the trauma and grief. That he was doing fine because he was smiling and charming visitors away from the door when they wanted to ask after Violet (He was in a way… but he's a kid in grief too). Eloise is the only one who pushes Colin because she knows the literal worst of him. They clash because they were essentially the forgotten middle children.

Also, in Colin's mind, a part of him thinks, if he's capable of the things he's done his siblings must be the same they just hide it better from him and the public. (So yeah, he's unreliable and biased). And Funnily enough, Ant&Ben think the same of Colin. (They all severely underestimate each other's impulse controls tbh)

Pen is an extremely unreliable narrator when it comes to her family. There is LITERALLY so much she didn't notice (Y'all get more insight in Ch12). As SMB Phillipa will be quoted saying:

"Penelope is the best liar of them all. Only Master Liars could sink themselves so deeply into believing a lie of their own making they'd forgotten the truth. Phillipa Admired her for it, it's what kept her safe throughout the years. It's why she could forgive her for the many years she'd spent missing her sweet little Penny…."

Depending on the Polin sibling you interview, you're gonna have them describing a very different kind of Polin.

Example:

Anthony: Colin's got a temper and is greedy, but he's harmless. He's a Gentleman! He was raised well, of course. (duh!)

Benedict: Mmmh, not exactly harmless, but he knows where to draw the line. Maybe don't tempt him to cross it?

Daphne: Colin wouldn't hurt a fly! He's far too kind for that!! Oh, what? No, he just asked if I could help him bury some bones a dog dug up in his backyard on Saturday. Mmh? This red stuff? Oh, my daughter's learning how to paint.

Eloise: Colin will skin you from your toes to your hair follicles, boil you in a cauldron and feed you to the poor for dinner as a soup with bread as a side dish. You laugh, but I'm not joking. Ask him what happened to Susan who called me a bitch last week. Do you really think it was a coincidence he volunteered to feed the poor as charity work recently? Did you not wonder where he got the meat so quickly?

Franny: Of course, I trust my brother. Was that a serious question? Colin doesn't lose his temper unless it's over something truly bad. What's his definition of Bad? I don't know, I guess if someone made one of us cry, then yeah…

Greg&Hyacinth: Colin doesn't do anything wrong. He's actually pretty boring. All he ever does is eat and moon over Penelope Featherington.

Featherington Sisters:

Prudence: Touch my sister and die. I refuse to say another word. A threat? Oh no sir, that was a promise.

Phillipa: Penny's adorable!! I miss her sometimes. Hmm? Oh no she's still living with Mama, I just miss when she used to stab tables and threaten cousin Alfie to hold his tongue or she'll stuff him full with stones and toss him in the lake. Alfie's afraid of water you see, but she was offering to teach him how to swim, he didn't need to cry about it. Isn't she sweet?

Felicity: Touch my sister and die. Don't even breathe next to her. What? Prudence did? Well… *loads shot gun*… I guess I'll save her the trouble. *BANG*

#answered #bridgerton #polin #seducing mr bridgerton #smb

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