#TUMBLR DELETED ALL MY TAGS WHAT THE FUCK
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Day 31/October 31: Halloween || Death || Costumes
never forget the skeleton had hair
#ITS ONLY LATE IF YOU ACKNOWLEDGE ITS LATE#of COOURSE halloween week had to be my busiest week#if it isn’t clear they dragged his skeleton back up and used it as halloween decor#ignore the shading and lighting and skeleton anatomy and pumpkin and path i actually have no idea how to do it#i was bullshitting my way through it all i slapped shorts on him cause i didn’t want to figure that out#i dont love it but i dont overly hate it so call that a win win#TUMBLR DELETED ALL MY TAGS WHAT THE FUCK#i dont remember any more of them#anyways end of morrotober guys it was fun thank you morrotober for hosting#even though there were like 4 or so of us consistently participating#what do i do now#ive fully committed to being back so ill do more probably#but i can only do shitposts unless otherwise given clear instructions#morrotober was good for me tbh i was forced to do more art this month than i ever did in my entire life and i think im improving#im experimenting at least thats good#i think im developing a style i like using bright as fuck contrasting lighting#and a MORRO DESIGN finally after all these months#ninjago#lego ninjago#morro ninjago#ninjago morro#morro wu#morrotober 2023#morrotober2023#morrotober#jellos scribbles
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oh my poor sick little man..... he has a bad fever :(
i've always had a soft spot for sickfics and i like seeing strong characters get taken care of by the ones who love them most :) craig is making him chicken noodle soup in the kitchen, barry's favourite meal to have whenever he's not feeling well.
bonus: earlier version with ripped sleeves
i liked the thought of him being all snug in the only piece of clothing he hasn't ripped so i drew the sleeves of his jammies because it was cuter :)
#barry steakfries#jetpack joyride#why does tumblr always compress my drawings grrrgrr#he is sikc :(#i feel like if barry got sick he'd be the type of guy to be like ''what! i'm not sick no waayyy haha''#and then die of a coughing fit immediately after#he'd be very grumpy about not being able to go jetpacking and having to stay at home all day#he'd be like ''what happened to watching cartoons when i was home sick!? this is so BORING''#and craig would be like ''there there its ok you'll live. go to bed barry''#also i love how barry canonically has homely cute flower blankets on his bed#i like to think he's kinda embarrassed by them because he always calls his home his 'secret hideout'#and always talks about how cool it is and whatnot and then you walk inside and it's just. comfy.#only craig knows about the cosier bits of his home he's too prideful to tell anyone else#craig thinks it's nice :)#wait tumblr fucking deleted the other tags i wrote goddamnit#barry would be like ''i'm not THAT sick! i don't need to be pampered! i'm a man i can do it!''#and then when craig drags him home he's like ''ehh... i'm dying craig..... craig tuck me in.....''#he's stubborn but he's a big softie :)#i like to think he doesn't like to ask for help because he feels like it's weak#but at the same time he knows he really needs help because he feels really sick#he may complain a lot and act all fussy but he doesn't resist to craig taking care of him#cause he knows he's gotta let his guard down every once in a while + he's too tired to do it#he's too proud to admit it but he likes being taken care of by craig every now and then :)#ahh how i love stubborn characters who just wanna be held...
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just ended up sending in feedback about the layout to support.
But I have to say it here too, this new layout is such a pain in the ass to figure out. I hated twitter's layout for the same reason, its so annoying to use and everything feels so cluttered and squished in and distracting... it's actually headache inducing.
I really wish I had the option to switch back. I wish there was an option to CHOOSE between the two layouts. I wish I had the choice to opt out of "testing" this thing.
"If it ain't broke, don't fix it" really should have been brought up before they even tried making this. It was fine before, and now the new layout is completely different and frustrating when it didn't need to be.
If I wanted Twitter's layout, I would have just fucking gone to Twitter.
#tumblr update#tumblr upd8#new layout#i'm so frustrated#i didn't want this at all#this was the last website I actually felt like I could navigate#youtube has become annoying to use#twitter is atrocious#i don't want to touch facebook with a 40 foot pole#instagram seems like a pain in the ass#it's slowly looking like I should just cut the line and quit using the internet altogether#but i'd lose all my opportunities to actually have a social life#and i wouldn't be able to share my art#but AI is ruining that too#and my social situation is such a complicated fucking mess#Like I want to reach out to some of my old IRLs but I don't know what they think of me or if they even want to hear from me#I deleted my discord without warning in 2020 and I feel guilty about it. And some awful shit was happening and I should have talked to them#idk. sorry for the dump. might delete the more personal tags later#it's just depressing seeing everything fall apart like this when I already feel like I have too many holes in myself to patch#or maybe this is just what my 20s are gonna be like. I hope not.
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i'm so sorry, y'all. part two of the nsfw meme is taking me 9ever bc istg i cannot tell if the dialogue is cringe or not, i'm crying lmaooo.
#nina speaks#is that the ooc tag?#anyways like i really cannot tell what sounds like the worst phone sex operator ass wattpad ass pwp ever#and what is good truly#like i am in pain#tfw u cant post things bc u think theyre cringe#but if you dont no one can tell u theyre not cringe#i actually have an entire personal ask abt how to be confident in yourself and ur uniqueness and not being afriad to be weird#and here i am...avoiding my cringe#rp i know i promised i'd post mine if u posted urs i'm a lying liar who lied i am embarassed lol like what if its giving riverdale i'll cry#like I think its good but i wrote the worst two chapters of peppermint in the world before they were wiped from the face of the earth#anyways...i'm sorry if they never see the light of day i am fkn embarassed to be alive#also how the fuck do u do descriptions that arent horrifying?#i cannot use the word ~Member~ i will end it all#anyways...screaming crying throwing up whats new#time to *stas vc* lie in the street#me: guys is this cringe#you guys: literally not allowed to tell me its cringe or i'll delete my tumblr blog and both my fanfictions#amazing#this all makes sm sense! *bashes my head in w my laptop*
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hi tumblr im pyrr pyrriax and im in my trimonthly artist arc, lord help me and all the projects that are currently sitting in my drafts while i am lured in by the siren song of drawing
#haunted ecosystem#this is not helping with how much my hands hurt on a daily basis this is why i type and dont handwrite/draw very much.#im lured in regardless and i really need to find an artform that doesnt Hurt but for now. digital art <3#like theres a difference between my dumb doodles (quick easy not much different from regular computer usage) and actual art#but im an artist at heart i spent sooooo long being an artist and thinking i was shit at writing. that is wrong! im actually kinda good#im rambling in tags today because i have been not social (my partner is in genshin hell and my beloved is. somewhere.)#okay but on another note i reread the first. couple chapters of wtds this morning? the pacing is a little weird and the tense is fucked#but its actually a lot better than i thought it was? you can tell i was fleshing everybody out in my head and i totally forgot about how#i described the watcher [who i am STILL redacting the name of until we get there] and just. ough. pandora being very logical#and then jumping to the latest chapter and fucking sobbing because i forgot about how it went and just. pandora and his.#whatever the fuck is wrong with him.#i have gotta start recommending people read that again. its surprisingly friendly without context because of how i approached it#that fic has taught me so many things its actually a little comical. it also made me relearn how to make and write ocs so thats fun#once i finish that main fic (and i WILL i am actually planning to sign up for a thing. im finishing it i swear.) i finally get to show off#more of the world and characters ive crafted. showing backstories and what-ifs and all these oneshots ive been keeping close to my chest#for like absolutely ages because i dont want any spoilers on my tumblr#and. im finishing that fic in pseudo-memoriam of somebody who deleted their accounts everywhere. still miss you dane!#ok this has completely gone off topic ily tumblr im going back to drawing and i might make a new pfp#it'll still be lavius but it'll be fray lavius since i think about him a lot and i like his color palette.
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I love ur blog and I’d be sad if u left. But if you need to ofc but just wanted to say that I appreciate you in the space !
thanks, its just making me really miserable right now to want to post all of my ideas even ones that i know would be a little controversial or whatever thinking this is a safe space where i could do so but it turns out its fuckin not it sucks
#i wont delete yet cuz i havent been able to archive some posts onto my currently dead laptop#but like idk its truly making shit hard for me#i know this is silly cuz its fucking phandom tumblr#but yall are the ones turning my stupid ramblings into some horrible shit to take seriously#stop taking me seriously stop giving a fuck about what i say i dont actually care if dnp are autistic or trans#i know i am self projecting#this is my fucking blog this is my fucking space leave me the fuck alone#and leave my friends alone that talk abt this shit as well#just block me so then at least u wont see my evil privacy violations#sorry abt all the tags on ur answer venetiantruths lol im not talking abt u ofc fhdgs
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i feel like the tmc community (including myself until last night) doesn't understand how ridiculously powerful a desert eagle is so i'm rambling about it under the cut (tw: a lot of talk about mark's death/su*c*de, guns, and gore)
okay so first off i've seen a LOT of people talk about how these are way bigger than your typical handgun shell:
and they're right! these are the shells of a .50ae caliber bullet, the largest a handgun can have (legally, at least) and these are what desert eagles use.
(.50 cal bullet on the far right)
i could ramble on about calibers and number and shit but basically its just a very big, very powerful bullet.
the reason i'm talking about this is because wanted to know what mark's body would actually look like, and since his head is censored in canon i had to do my own research.
and i found this! this is a video by a bulletproof vest company, and the part that's important to this post is at 58 seconds in, when they shoot a ballistic dummy (meant to simulate human bones, flesh, and organs) with a desert eagle in the head.
((there's more videos out there about what a deagle can do (watermelons, FRIDGES, pork ribs, etc.) but this one is the most relevant.))
youtube
and the head fucking explodes. the entire top half of the skull is reduced to shrapnel and chunks. the brain just falls out. i was expecting a big hole in the head, not half of it getting completely obliterated. one thing to note is that mark probably had the gun against his temple at point-blank, and in the video the bullet seems to enter at where the nose would be and is from several feet away, and since i'm not an expert i don't know if that changes anything (bullet holes are bigger at exit than at entry) but its still impressively ludicrous how powerful this gun is.
which is why i think its scarier that mark had a fucking deagle, one of the most overpowered handguns to exist, and he STILL couldn't kill an alternate. and if you count the bullet shells on his bed in vol 333, there are more than seven (i counted 11, but its hard to see clearly). either way its fucked up that alternates can withstand one .50cal shot, let alone multiple. imagine having a weapon that powerful and it does jackshit. tmc is about hopelessness at its core and this shit really is just the cherry on top.
#tw: suicide#tw: death#tw: gun#tmc#ask to tag#despairing about mark hours again. (all hours of the day)#i wrote this entire thing and then tumblr deleted it so i had to write it again so. i skipped some things but whatever.#anyways i was thinking about what thatcher would see/how sarah was probably called in to id mark's body/what mark would look like as a ghos#and also my cringe tmc oc i never talk about that revolves around the idea of 'working at a morgue in mandela county must be fucked up'#<- if ur reading this and that sounds interesting. maybe you should send me an ask so i have an excuse to talk about them. /lh
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i'm starting to think living with 5 other people may simply be a problem
#vent post#negative#i've come to the conclusion i'm not getting enough sugar in my daily meals#(which is. ironic in a lot of ways. but i don't know what else the problem would be)#and that's great that's cool that i've come to this conclusion. i don't think i can solve this one#we don't buy that much sugary or junk food stuff anymore#my dad's got diabetes that makes sense that's understandable#so a lot of our family meals are like rice and meat and a salad#but yknow i'm not really gonna ask my parents to change that! it's been like that for a long time now it's fine it's alright#but i don't think i can actually solve the problem#i. already have a lot of foods that the rest of my family isn't allowed to touch. because i am So Picky#and when they were eating my foods more often i was Starving#i don't. think. i can ask for more. and you know what that's fine! that's fine that's ok i like my meals they're tasty as hell#what about snacks then? can we get snacks for the whole family? well no#we stopped buying more junk foodish snacks because it was All my siblings were eating#and it was bad! it was bad they shouldn't have been doing that. but now i don't think my parents trust us to be responsible with snack food#so our snack foods are. protein bar. fruit snacks (i had to request these specifically). popcorn#that's. that's fine. that's fine maybe i should be focused on fruit instead! fruit is good sugar!#well we don't store fruit i like the way i like it (don't put it in the fridge) so i never eat any of it anymore#but everybody else seems fine with it so really i'm not going to win this argument cause everybody else actually eats it more when it's out#(i don't think this is true. but i think it's true for My Dad and My Mom specifically.)#and i just. it really got me thinking about how much i don't have foods that i like in the house or meals that i love because Somebody Else#likes it done differently and not the way i like it#and that takes priority#to the point where i don't know what the fuck kind of foods i like because we just don't. have. any#i prefer white rice. mom prefers brown so we get brown. i prefer crunchier potatoes. mom prefers them soft so we make them soft#i like my fruits cold. my parents prefer to be able to See the fruits so they stay on the counter. i only eat chicken breast not any other#part of the chicken. my parents prefer thigh meat so we get thigh meat (which i don't eat)#oh huh. this post was a lot longer but tumblr deleted half the tags. yeah that's fair
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>need to go through my loops before bed which can take hours
> need to cut my looping short because I need to sleep to wake up early tomorrow
>resume looping because I'm not done so I can't sleep
>need to sleep so try to stop looping
>okay time to sleep
>resume looping because I'm not done so I can't sleep
>need t
#not sure if looping is the accurate term but its what i call it because i get stuck repeating a behavior like an endless loop#right now is the classic “check your tumblr notifications now your twitter notifications now your tumblr notifications now your twitter noti#making this post in an attempt to break the loop so i can fucking sleep i have to be up in 7 hours#i might delete this later right now im just hiding in these notes#its definitely an ocd thing .but because i havent been treated for my ocd and researching can make it worse sometimes#i dont have the best words to describe my experience#its part of why i dont taln about it#talking about it can somrtimes make it a lot worse too ugh#the looping specifically im not 'supposed' to talk about so thats partly why i would delte this#i cant stay in these tags forever i gotta decide to post this Or Else#i will. put on bluey. and sleep.#i promise ill try atleast lol#if u read all this hi sorry
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Was stimming so hard I genuinely worried I managed to break my own neck for a second
#my back hurts now >:'(#anyways ive been feeling a special kind of mentally ill the past few days#as if spending $200 on sims 4 expansion packs doesnt say enough#BUT GUYS I USED TO BE SUCH A HORSE GIRL WHEN I WAS LITTLE AND THEY HAVE HORSES NOW AND MY INNER CHILD GOES YEAAAAAAAAAHHHHHH#*deep breath* dont make this about sims *more deep breaths* no sims no horses#I OWN A FFUFUCKING RANCH YALL IT REMINDS ME SO MUCH OF WHEN I WAS LITTLE#the horses! they are SO pretty!#sim 3 is still my baby though 4 is just a side bitch ✋🙄#tried to move everything to steam so i deleted origin and then... had to download it again#I FUCKING HATE ORIGIN RAAAAAAHHHHH#im feeling so very hmmnnhggnrggg#shitpost#shitposting#stimming#stimblr#forgive my tags i dont really explore much of Tumblr#i come to the restaurant and the menu is all tags for my hot elven boys i either crush on or get severe gender envy from#my dash is seriously just cats and elves and im not about to go change that okay#augh i have no idea what to tag this#like stimming is a thing for a lot of disorders and while i probably have some of them and just haven't been diagnosed i dont wanna give off#the impression that im part of that “community”#but hey im a real hit with autistic ppl apparently since pretty much all of my old friends were autistic and we all vibed good#probably just means im somewhere on the spectrum too considering one of them initially approached me BECAUSE they thought i was autistic#them: hey i know this might sound offensive but i mean this nicely. are you autistic too?#me with two chew necklaces in my mouth rubbing my feet on the carpet trying to focus and failing miserably: fuck if i know#look ive grown up with autistic ppl my whole life so ive never really thought to research. its just been... a normal thing to me?#so i dont know a lot but i do know either i fit the critera or ive just subconsciously snatched traits from my childhood bestie#the amount of times I've been asked if i am autistic though is... well its certainly made me notice my behaviors more#and WOW have the rants in tags seriously derailed today#i love writing in tags its like a little secret message for little secret tag readers
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awh you replaced the cool poll with some neeky Lego character 😔
lmao yeah, decided to be a lil shit and mess with the post after the poll ended. but now you have the wonderful MK at your disposal!!! careful though, he's having an identity crisis whilst trying to stabilize his currently unstable and godly powers :)
#btw what does neeky mean? is it just sneaky? idk#it is funny now seeing ppl tag the post with 'the poll isn't working????' bc i deleted the poll lol#all reblogs and threads made prior to the MK jumpscare now contain glitchy polls :3#ngl it's a bit of a power trip#makes me want to create more fucked up polls#this might be my tumblr villain era lmao
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fully intended and foreseen consequence of coping better with my anxiety is that this blog will at some point inevitably become More Cringe and that point is SO close on the horizon. if you get mad at me for posting things i like on my blog that is for me you clearly have more issues than i do for worrying abt that possibility for hours on end
#its tumblr were all cringe here. fucking grow up or leave genuinely#also i literally tag everything im into + trigger tags too. block tags or just unfollow me theres no hard feelings i prommy#anyway. ive been falling back into creepypasta which ive mentioned before i was super into as a teen! fun stuff#i love that the fandom is still alive and doing fun new stuff :') theres such good art out there!! and character interpretations!!!!#and ive also gotten really into league lore over the past few months actually. the arcane fixation has morphed#basically it went 'this character looks cool whats their deal. whats this region like. oh another neat character lets look into that'#and then suddenly i know too much™️ bc hyperfixations for me are about gathering information and stories like a raccoon#i have FEELINGS about it. post probably incoming soon abt that#and BRIAR!! shes a little gremlin i kind of love her already#levi.txt#will i delete this in the morning? lets see#but for real tho. im doing really good lately. things arent perfect but i feel like a person for once#i can talk to strangers without acting like a trapped prey animal! it turns out im fucking funny actually! people like my jokes#im SLEEPING again. regularly. that was an issue for nearly a year and im doing ok again (not perfect but hey! ~8hrs!!)#i can just. sit around in public now and not feel like im on a hidden camera show where everyone is judging the way i breathe#slowly switching from self deprecation 'i want to die' jokes to 'im literally gods favourite prince and the hottest bitch alive'#i still get really nervous but it doesnt feel like a personal flaw and it doesnt feel insurmountable anymore#so yeah naturally thats going to come with (hopefully) a lot less shame around things that i like#just asking kindly that people are normal abt it. this is me thriving i guess
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generational trauama<3
very basic explanation: Shuya, the youngest child, was killed during a mission Sanemi was leading & Kyogo was very disrespectful and dismissive about it bc he doesnt see them as anything other than fodder. Sanemi, overcome with the grief of his latest sibling's death and the years of abuse, lost his shit and lunged at him with intent to kill.
His arm went through Kyogo's chest and together they went through the window, Kyogo briefly fought back and Sanemi used a wind jutsu to utterly shred the inside of his chest cavity. He sits back and processes what just happened and realizes that the pain and grief hasn't gone away.
Shizu finally gets to him- Genya close behind though I didn't show it -and he breaks down over the fact he just killed so brutally so easily. He's become a monster just like Kyogo shaped him to be. Shizu calls for some water & washes the blood off, then gets the bone fragments out and heals him.
Rest of the clan's freaking the hell out bc He Just Snapped We're Next Oh Fuck Oh Fuck, no one knows what to do abt Kyogo bleeding out, but hes just Sitting There, Crying
#kny clan au#shinazugawa sanemi#sanemi shinazugawa#shinazugawa shizu#shizu shinazugawa#shinazugawa kyogo#< even tho he dont fuckin look like it#listen in my defence he has literally 1 panel and i wanted to make him less boring#but then he ended up looking like captain yami & i cant be arsed to fix his dumbfuck expression#this was gonna be a sorta introduction post(?) for the shinazugawa clan but i was struck by a divine vision of this situation w#that one verse from tatu's All The Things She Said#so im posting it so that one will make more sense#kny clan au: shinazugawa#oh yeah shizu looks like that bc she was originally Kocho- they had a marriage alliance#edit: TUMBLR WHY DID YOU BREAK THE POST EHAT THE FUCK#HOW DID YOU DELETE THE READ MORE WHAT#neros art tag
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dear gods,
give me a fucking break or catch these fucking hands
sincerly me
#gods an't one thing go fucking right#i thought by 27 i would have a better understanding about fucking everything i need#And yet#And fucking yet#Riley rants#ignore#Something happens where I have to call my stupid fucking parents in near tears because life is shit and painful and honestly what is the fu#fuking point#thanks tumblr for not letting me finish that tag#I'm so fucking tired of existance#I am One (1) more Thing happening before I delete all my socials and cut off all my friends because at this point it's just easier to start#anew
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