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gustafsnightangel · 4 years

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Shattered Lives Ch 20 Pt 1

She woke with a start to Gustaf’s lips kissing the nape of her neck that hovered between arousal and tickle. His scent wrapping itself around her, that comfort and calm she’d missed. Those strong but gentle hands fanning out over her body, his touch always alluring.

“Time to get up and dress for work love.” He murmured, his lips brushing the shell of her ear, the kiss finding that sport just below it that always had the arousal warm through her. “The kids are up and ready, I let you sleep late.” It was the least he could do after keeping her up well past 1 am.

She turned in his arms and looked at him. “What’s the time?” She asked scrubbing her hand over her face to dislodge the last cobwebs of sleep.

“Seven. You have time for a shower, to dress, eat, and go. The kids are ready and if you want I can take them to school in your car and you can go to work in mine if that works better.” He’d do anything to smooth it all over, to take that pain he’d caused her away.

“You... I... I’ll drop them off.” She said slightly taken back.

“You needed sleep before court and I kept you up late last night.” He shrugged and kissed her sweetly.

“Thank you.” She took his face in her hands and pulled him in further for a blazing lip lock.

“Go shower.” His voice husky as he let her go. “And Sildie?” He said as she sat up.

“Yeah?” She turned to look at him as he sat on the end of the bed, those shoulders slightly slumped.

“I should be on my knees kissing your feet for pulling me back from the brink.” He choked, he should be groveling at her feet begging for forgiveness he thought.

She smiled and leaned back to kiss him. “You are my everything Gustaf.” She whispered. “I’ll pull you back from the brink again and again if that’s what you need.”

He nodded. “Thank you.” He breathed and kissed her with all the love he’d buried deep down inside him. He let it out for her, let her see it, feel it.

“Anytime love, you know that. You’ve done the same for me time and time again.” She whispered and had to pull away or she’d be kissing him on an entirely different level and be very late for court.

“Go shower.” He chuckled at her unsteady breathing.

He sat with Brendan while Sildie got ready. The boy was reserved this morning at seeing him here and Gustaf knew he had to make it right between them. This would only escalate if he didn’t come clean today and he didn’t want to be walking on eggshells around the kids either.

“Brendan can we talk this afternoon?” He asked softly and watched the kid carefully. He didn’t want him imploding right before school. “I need to chat with you about some stuff.”

“Am I in trouble?” Brendan asked and his face fell.

“No, I just need a man to man chat with you about something.” No, the kid wasn’t in trouble, he was. He’d let Brendan down, he’d let Sildie down and put her in the crappy position of lying to the kid to save their bond. Why did he let it get that bad he wondered, why had he let Ana get the upper hand? He couldn’t let that happen again.

Liam crawled into Gustaf’s lap and hugged him tightly as Sildie came out of the bedroom. She took his breath away, in a dark navy suit with pale blue pinstripes, a dusty blue silk shirt that when she moved he could see the black lace under it whisper to him seductively. Her hair up in that blasted clip, light makeup, and a beaming smile as Lily wobbled and walked to her for her morning hug. How could he have been so fucking stupid to shut her out, he thought? Push her so far away she had to verbally beat him over the head to get him to talk, to realize that she was nothing like Ana.

“You ok little man?” He asked quietly as the kid stayed attached to him.

He nodded. “Better now you’re back. Don’t go away like that again.” He said and hugged Gustaf tighter.

“I won’t, I promise.” And he wouldn’t, he couldn’t go through that again, the thought of losing all this was unbearable. “Up you hop and let me get some breakfast for Ama.” The kid jumped down and Gustaf headed to the kitchen to cook the pancakes he’d already got a head start on earlier.

“Already done love.” He chuckled as she went to start making the kids lunches as Gustaf cooked.

“You already made their lunches?” Her hand dropped to the bench as the words sunk in, she wasn’t fully awake yet.

“Yeah.” He smiled at her shocked expression. “Eat.” He said handing her a pancake.

She took it and sniffed it before shooting him a smirk as she bit into it. “Thank you for this morning.”

“You needed your minimum six hours. I think I got you five. I’m sorry.” He brushed a knuckle down her cheek before his kiss stole her breath.

“I’m ok, with the extra sleep in I’ll be ok. It’s a shorter day in court and the first section of this hearing should be done at the end of next week if things go the way they’re going, maybe sooner if we get lucky. I’ll be fine.” She took another bite and watched as he cooked. Her man was still hurting but he seemed more relaxed than the past few weeks, and at least he was here, talking to her, engaged not retreating inward.

“What’s your plan for today?” She asked, taking another pancake from the stack. She was a little apprehensive at leaving him alone today after last nights emotional rollercoaster.

“I am going to make plans for our getaway. Do some stuff around the house and then talk to Brendan after school. I have some shit to sort out with him.” He looked at her and saw the slight smile of approval.

“You’re a good man Gustaf.” She kissed him tenderly. “Don’t forget that love.”

“I’m trying to be better.” He murmured, his kiss lingering softly.

“I just want you love.” She smiled as she sipped the tea that had been cooling on the counter. “Just you, as you are.”

“You deserve me to be better, they deserve me to be better.” He stole another kiss before turning back to the pancakes. “I need to be better for them, for you, for myself.”

“Then you will be love. You’re stronger than your demons.” She kissed him and chuckled as the kids did their usual eww and gross.

“Ok, get your stuff kids.” Sildie called and Gustaf found he suddenly didn’t want her to leave. He couldn’t be clingy or needy, they had lives and she had a career, but he wanted her here with him today. To touch, to hold, to mend the rift.

“See you tonight?” She asked and watched him carefully. She was trying to take it slow, give him breathing room, but in all honesty she just wanted things to go back to normal right this instant. It was like walking on eggshells, the pain still clearly reflected in those ocean blue eyes.

“I’ll be here when you get home. Usual time or you working late?” He asked and could see the dark circles under her eyes regardless of makeup. It made his heart ache knowing he was responsible for them.

“Usual time.” She stood on her threshold and rested her hand on his chest. “Call me, text me if you need to today, ok? I’ll have time at lunch.” She didn’t want to leave him like this. She knew all too well the toll of the emotional upheaval took on body and mind. “I’ll check my phone every chance I get.”

“I’ll be ok.” He kissed her sweetly. “But I’ll text you.” He kissed her hard as the elevator dinged.

“I’d like that.” She kissed him quickly and stepped in the elevator. She gave him a smoldering look from under her lashes, heard the thump of his head against the door as he groaned. The slight bite of her bottom lip earning her a wicked smile and a faint “one day love” as the doors closed. He was coming back to her slowly.

She dropped the kids off and headed to the courthouse, thoughts of the case running through her head. She stopped dead in the office they’d been assigned and smiled at the huge bouquet of yellow gerberas and white daisies. The guy moved fast she thought. She set her bag down and plucked the card stuck to the vase.

You mean the world to me love. I’m sorry.

She choked back a sob, his sweetness undid her at the oddest moments. Maybe things were getting back to normal, time, she thought, time would see their world right itself. She sent him a quick text as her client entered the room. Putting her phone on silent she stuffed it into her bag and got down to the business of the day.

He smiled as her text came in.

You are my everything Gustaf. You are enough.

He spent the day cleaning his apartment, cleaning Sildie’s, grocery shopping, which was expensive with four kids he noted. He needed the physical tasks as well as the mental ones today. He’d not felt this fragile in a long time and he didn’t like it, the vulnerability, the fear of losing her, losing himself. The meltdown with Sildie last night had cleansed him further but he felt shattered with little hope of piecing himself back together.

He would though, he’d pull it all together, for himself, for Sildie, for the kids. She would bend, she would listen, she would support, she would be understanding, but she wouldn’t tolerate shitty behavior. He’d been a prick to her these past few weeks and it had been unnecessary. He should have just talked to her, next time he would. He would be better for all of them.

He texted her so she’d know he was ok, he knew, could see, that she was concerned about him this morning, something else he was kicking himself for. He had no right to worry her like that. Put that god awful fear into her, her grief for her brother was bad enough.

He sat at his desk and started to plan their weekend away. He would mend the rift between them, he would say those three little words and be the man she deserved.

He called Alice and she agreed to watch the kids. The girl was amazing and he would make make sure that her Christmas stocking had a substantial bonus. He’d found a secluded cabin in the mountains. He wanted Sildie alone in the snow, naked in front of a fire. He’d make it up to her, with romance, with love, with everything he was.

With all that out the way he tidied up and went to work the bag. It felt different strapping his hands, pulling on the gloves. He smiled at the memory of making love to her on the mat under his bag last night. That gorgeous woman saving him from himself, again.

Even with his first swing he found his head was clearer. Thoughts of Ana flittered in and out but it wasn’t soul destroying like it had been. He’d moved past it, let it go. As fist met bag thoughts of Sildie and their future drifted into his head and made him smile.

His workout had changed from a desperate search for answers, a purge of the poison that was Ana, to being one of intense reflection. A meditation in its own right. Instead of his emotionally charged sessions that resulted in dealing with trauma it became time to hone skills and focus on his future with four kids and the only woman that had ever made him feel completely at ease, loved, a sense of belonging.

“Time.” He breathed and smiled. “Give it time.” That smiled turned to a grin. “I’m going to marry her one day.” He breathed quietly. “Have kids of our own. Well maybe.” That was a huge maybe and he knew it. His body flexed as he worked the remainder of the past few weeks out of his system.

He finished up sweaty, achy, and happy. After he showered he sat to meditate and checked his phone smiling at her text.

The flowers are beautiful.

And so are you my love.

He texted back. He had enough time for a quick meditation before he had to be back in her apartment, he wanted to be there when they all got home, family, together. He breathed deeply and settled letting the quiet of his apartment clear his mind.

Once his emotions were dampened and under control he let the night with Liam bubble up. “You’re the only dad I’ve got left.” He murmured repeating what the kid had said. In the kids mind he probably was.

He blew out a breath at what that statement actually meant. “I’m not replacing you Quinn. That was all Liam.” He said softly. “I promised you I’d take care of them and I will. I’ll do the best I can. Help Sildie, work with her to be the best parent like person to them as I can. But what Liam said was all him. I’m ok if that’s what he wants but just don’t hate me for ok?”

Liam didn’t worry him as much as Brendan. He knew it was going to hurt the teen when he spoke with him tonight. “I fucked up with Brendan and I’ll set it straight. I broke my promise to him, was responsible for Sildie lying to save my sorry ass. She did that to preserve our relationship and I’m in her debt for that but I need to make it right. I’m sorry Quinn, I fucked up and I’m sorry.” He breathed and let the anxiety bubble up and dissipate, the calm following. He needed that calm to talk to Brendan, he couldn’t have a fucking panic attack while trying to apologize to the kid. He knew he had to straighten out that mess, he just had no clue how to go about it, how much to divulge to him. How did he explain that an ex girlfriend got in his head again and fucked with him?

“Just tell it to him straight.” He muttered. “He’s a straight shooter like Sildie. Talk to him like the man he almost is. He deserves your honesty, your respect.” He breathed out. “He’s going to be so fucking angry and disappointed.” He sighed. “And he has every right to be, you fucked up and it upset him. Coming clean will hurt him.” He sat for another fifteen minutes formulating in his head what he was going to say and how he was going to say it. As his alarm sounded he got to his feet and went to collect some clothes before heading to Sildie’s.

He made a pot of tea, sat at the table, and pulled out the leather bound notebook. He smiled at the photos, the pressed daisy in the back and began to write about the good things in his life. Sildie, the kids, his work, his family, little things that made him smile. The way Sildie made him feel as if he was the only man in the world for her. It was so different, this feeling of belonging, of family, their family, or at least the family they were becoming.

He thought about the Christmas present he had started working on for Sildie and the kids and hoped the plan wouldn’t backfire, especially after the past few weeks. Even with the logical and realistic nature of it he was still concerned she’d balk and run in the opposite direction. And if he was being honest and logical, she’d had a perfect opportunity to run like the wind because of his behavior and yet she stayed. She decided to stay, fight for their relationship, fight for him, and she was right, he’d fight for it too. Deep down he’d fight for it, for her, for the kids, he wanted it all. He was reading through a script when he heard the key in the door and the kids outside it laughing.

They came flooding through the open door and he suddenly felt overwhelmed with the amount of love they all carried with them, for each other, for him. Brendan with the high five, the twins with bear hugs, and little Lily who wobbled as she walked to him with a screeching dad dad.

His heart swelled to bursting at her words, and her tiny face lighting up on seeing him. He pulled the little lady into his arms and kissed her until she was giggling. He looked at Sildie, tired and slightly frazzled, the love of his life, that gorgeous woman standing in the doorway smiling yet weighed down. He’d been too caught up in his own head to see it. Weighed down with her own grief, and now with all his shit he’d just dumped on her without a care for her emotional state. He’d been an asshole to her.

They both needed time, this getaway to relax and reconnect, he’d make sure it was perfect. He went to her and lifted the messenger bag off her shoulder onto his, gripped her behind the neck and kissed her like it was his last.

“Hi.” She said breathlessly, her head was still spinning as he let her up for air. The guy could kiss like no other.

“Hi back.” He growled softly, that low rumble that did things to her.

“That’s some welcome home kiss.” Her voice soft but he could hear the tiredness.

“Want another?” His grin was wicked.

“Wouldn’t say no.” She shrugged and bit her bottom lip. He kissed her again and the usual chorus of thats disgusting drifted around the apartment which had them both grinning. “One day love.” He murmured in that low timbre that made her instantly wet.

“Thank you for the flowers.” She said holding them up. “The note made me cry.” She tweaked his nose playfully. “Right before court.” She chuckled and her smile lit up his world.

“Good day then?” He asked, placing her bag on the table and heading to the kitchen to find a vase for the flowers.

“It was ok. The case will adjourn for discovery Tuesday. Vase? Bottom left cupboard.” She said seeing his silent question. “When we resume is anyone’s guess.”

“Keep the weekend of December 6 through 9 open. We leave Friday, back Monday.” He said as he filled the vase and placed the flowers in it all while trying to keep Lily’s hands out of them. “It’s in a couple of weeks. I’ve put it in our calendar.” He would try to keep that updated. He’d also given Daisy access to it so she could change his work schedule when needed.

“Where are we going?” She asked cheekily knowing full well he wouldn’t tell her. He was trying she thought, he was trying so hard to make it right.

“Away.” He growled and kissed her brow. “And that’s all you need to know for now.” He’d say those three little words, with all the love and romance she deserved from him. “Now, I need you to take Lily for a moment. I have to chat with Brendan after I see how much homework he has before I go ruining his evening.” He was nervous, and the anxiety was starting to surface. He knew this could potentially be worse than last night. Their entire relationship was suddenly very fragile and he needed to remember that.

“It’ll be fine love. Be straight with him, he’ll understand.” She kissed him tenderly. “Come here Lily bear lets get dinner started and make our shopping list.” She bundled Lily to her and Gustaf smirked as he walked to Brendan’s room. She’d realize soon enough he’d already beaten her to the punch with groceries.

He tapped on Brendan’s door and waited for the kid to look at him. “Got a moment or are you neck deep in homework?” He asked gently, those long fingers twitching nervously.

“Kinda neck deep.” Brendan said quietly.

“Talk when you’re done?”

“Sure.” The kid hesitated. “You sure I’m not in trouble?” He asked.

“You’re not, but I maybe. Come get me when you’re done?”

“Yeah sure.” The kid was puzzled now but Gustaf wouldn’t keep him thinking he’d done something wrong.

He came back into the kitchen with Sildie tending to dinner, Lily sitting on the counter beside her helping stir and empty pot.

“Don’t think for a moment I didn’t notice you went grocery shopping.” She said irritably. He knew how she felt about him spending money on them.

He snaked an arm around her and held her close, Lily chattering to him. “I’m eating and sleeping here Sildie my turn for groceries. You’ve spent the past month feeding me.” He kissed the nape of her neck and Lily squealed and clapped her hands together. “Please don’t be mad at me for helping out. I’ll buy food for this month, you can do the next month.”

“Fine.” She conceeded, their agreement was food and presents were off limits but he was meeting her half way and she had to suck that up. “It’s just... you know how I feel about it.”

“I know, and I’m trying not to just pay for it all, but I can’t ask you to feed me on top of everything else you have to take care of.” He could have just bullied her into letting him buy the groceries every month as per their agreement but he knew there was a line and he was wasn’t going to cross it, not after last night. “That smells really good.” He said and kissed the spot below her ear. “You smell better.” He growled. Her chuckle was wicked as she turned to face him.

“You’ll just have to cool your jets there love.” She purred and kissed him sinfully.

“Illegal.” He groaned.

“Still gonna do it.” She quipped and turned back to the pan.

“Fuck I hope so.” His tone equally playful.

“Can you clear and set the table?”

“I can, right after I kiss you some more. I’ve missed you.” He murmured and ghosted the nape of her neck with his lips causing her to shiver. His low throaty chuckle making her pussy tingle.

“Go. Set the table.” She laughed as he pulled his hand away from her waist, touching her seductively along the way.

“Come on Lily, come and help. You need to start pulling your weight around here missy.” He said playfully as Lily squealed at him. He set the table and got Lily in her chair before calling the kids for dinner. They sat and ate as a family unit and it felt right he thought. Something for him had clicked into place. Maybe Sildie unleashing on him last night was what he needed. Maybe he’d needed to almost lose this to realize he needed it so much.

The kids cleared the table and Brendan took care of the dishes as it was his turn this week while Sildie started on her reading. With Lily snuggled in his arms he set the kettle onto boil for tea.

“I’m done with homework so when you’re done with tea we can talk if you still need to.” He said to Gustaf a little hesitantly. The kid looked slightly terrified.

“Cool, I’ll get a tea for Sildie and we can chat.” He said quietly. “You’re not in trouble B.” Gustaf found he was incredibly nervous. Maybe that was because he knew this could blow up in his face and fuck up their entire relationship. And not just Brendan, what would Sildie do if things went to shit with the boy? He couldn’t think on that just now, one clusterfuck at a time.

He made the tea and sat it on the table with two cups. Brushing his finger against her cheek he waited until she came back to him from lawyer land.

“Tea steeping for you. I’ll be back in a little while, I’m going to talk with Brendan.” He murmured and squeezed her shoulder as he kissed her hair breathing in her scent to calm him.

He passed Lily to her and the little lady snuggled into her with a mum mum. “You gonna help me little lady?” He heard her say as they went to Brendan’s room and shut the door. Mainly for privacy but he wanted the kid on his turf where he was in control.

“So I’m really not in trouble?” He asked sitting on the bed while Gustaf sat in his desk chair and leaned forward resting his massive frame on his knees with his elbows.

“No you’re not in any trouble B.” He rubbed his hands together and chose his words carefully. “I need to be honest with you about something and would like you to just hear me out fully before you decide to get angry or be upset with me ok?”

“Ok.” The kid agreed, not really sure what else to do.

“I fucked up yesterday with your hockey game.” He said evenly and looked at the kid, eye contact was important. There was no room for error or bullshit with this. He needed to get it out, come clean, and do it calmly which was a mission because he wanted to throw his dinner up the anxiety was so high. “The past few weeks I’ve been going through some emotional shit. An ex girlfriend of mine messed me up and I’ve been trying, and failing, to get that sorted out and move past it for Sildie, and for all of you. It beat me up pretty good and I completely forgot I had promised you I’d be there at your game and to bring you home. My mind hasn’t really been focused on anything outside of what I’ve been dealing with.”

He breathed out carefully finding the calm and burying the emotion from last night. “I only remembered when Sildie came over to my apartment last night and ripped into me. She told me how you’d called her in tears because you thought something had happened to me and for that I can’t begin to tell you how sorry I am that I put you through it. I feel like shit for it B. She also told me that you had a shutout and was devastated I wasn’t there to see it and I’m sorry for that too.”

He paused and chose his next words with care and tact. “Sildie also told me that she lied to you, told you I was in the stands and I’d just forgotten to pick you up. Now before you get angry at her for lying to you please let me explain why.” He said quickly, seeing the flash of anger bristle in the kid. “She lied to protect you and also to protect the bond that you and I are still working on, still forming. She didn’t want to see you hurting and if you want to be angry at her for that it’s misdirected. I’m the one that fucked up Brendan. If you need to be angry at anyone it should be me, I’m the one who put her in that position.”

“I can’t turn back time to make it right. I can only ask that you accept my apology and I’ll do whatever it takes to make it up to you. I broke my promise to you and that was a shitty move on my part. I’m sorry, there aren’t enough words to tell you how sorry I am. I’d really like another chance to try again at being the bigger brother you deserve.” He let out a slow steady breath and waited, he could see the kid was chewing over his words, the anger settling with his explanation. So much like Sildie he thought and probably so much like his father.

“I knew there was something going on with you.” Brendan said softly. “Something had changed, you weren’t your usual goofy self.” His huffed chuckle set Gustaf at ease. “Ama was really mad yesterday.”

“Oh believe me kid, I know exactly how mad. She had every right to say what she said last night and kick my ass to the curb and back again.” He said and looked at the teen. “I hurt her B and I promised I wouldn’t. I’m doing everything I can to make it up to her.”

“Did you sleep with your ex?” The teen asked not really sure if he should be asking but he knew of dads that did and he didn’t like the thought of his aunt being hurt like that.

“No. I haven’t seen my ex in over a year and god willing never will. I would never cheat on Sildie. I’ve been cheated on B, know how that feels and I don’t want to ever do that to someone I love. My actions hurt her enough, I shut her out, didn’t talk to her about what was upsetting me. It all goes back to the emotional crap my ex put me through and that’s no excuse for being a complete prick to her.” He saw the kid nod as if he were connecting the dots.

“I was scared something had happened to you, like mum and dad.” His voice was quiet as a mouse.

“I’m sorry B, I never meant to freak you out like that and I can’t begin to explain how shitty I feel about it.” He did, the kids grief was bad enough he didn’t need that on top of it.

“I’ve lost my dad, I can’t lose you too.” His voice choked but he didn’t break. “You’re the only dad we have now.”

His words hit Gustaf like a brick to the side of the head making a sob catch in his throat. First Liam now Brendan he thought, the kids had been talking. “You know I love you guys like you’re my own.” He smiled and let the tears fall with a huffed laugh. “I’m still learning all this stuff B, I don’t know if I can be half the man your father was.”

“You can’t.” He said simply, shaking his head looking at Gustaf. “Because you’re not him. You’re you.” He smiled. “We love you, just as you are, the goofier the better.” He smirked as Gustaf looked at the kid a little dumbstruck.

“Are you and Ama ok?” He asked as his fingers fidgeted in his lap.

“We will be. I’m not proud of it Brendan, I hurt her and fuck I...” He scrubbed a hand over his face. “I never wanted this part of my life to touch her, to touch you guys.”

“You’re not splitting up are you?” The teen held his breath, Gustaf could see it.

“No.” He shook his head and the kid sprung off the bed and hugged him tightly.

“Good.” He sniffed. Gustaf closed his eyes and hugged him. The teen had been worried they would split and he wouldn’t be in their lives anymore. He let the quiet sigh of relief out as the kid let go.

“No were not splitting up. I can’t lose her.” He said as the kid sat back down. “I can’t lose her because I think it would actually kill me. I’m a wreck without her Brendan.”

“She’s been really upset and stressed. Especially when you weren’t sleepinghere. I could hear her crying at night.” He said softly. “Don’t tell her I told you though. She’ll be mad.”

“What we say in here is just between us.” Gustaf said and the teen nodded in understanding. “Are we ok Brendan? You and me?” He asked gently, fully prepared for the kid to tell him to fuck off.

“Yeah we’re ok. On one condition though.” He said and Gustaf could see that same steel that Sildie had in her last night creep into the kid. “Don’t make her cry like that again.”

Gustaf was proud of him. It took balls to say that to an adult in that tone. A tone that clearly said don’t fuck with her.

“I have no intention of making her cry ever again unless it’s happy tears. I really fucked up Brendan and I know my promises don’t mean shit to you right now but I promise you I’ll make it up to her. Let me make it better?” Gustaf held his breath, this would make or break them.

He nodded and seemed to relax. “I just don’t want to see her hurt again.” He said softly.

“Me either B.” Gustaf breathed out gently. “We ok?”

“Yeah.” The kid smiled and Gustaf could feel the tension leave the room. “Can you come next week?” Brendan asked hesitantly.

“I’ll check my calendar but if I’m open, I’m there.” He said gently. “Work trip coming up.”

“Ok.” His smile beamed. “If you can’t I get it.”

“I’ll certainly try though. Thanks for hearing me out.” Gustaf said honestly. He feared there would be more anger and tears from the kid toward him.

“Thanks for being straight with me.” He shot back.

“You are more like Sildie than you think.” He chuckled. “And I would assume more like your dad considering they were twins.”

“I guess.” He shrugged with a smile.

“Homework done?” He asked heading for the door.

“Yeah I’m gonna take a shower and curl up to finish my book.”

“Good plan.” He nodded. “Night B and thanks.”

“Night and no problem.” He grinned.

Gustaf came out to see Sildie busy taking notes and her tea still sitting there, probably stone cold by now, he thought with a smile. He stood behind her, rested his hands on her shoulders gently and kissed her head breathing in that scent that made his world function right side up. He felt the tears prickle his eyes, tears of relief more than anything else.

“You ok love?” She asked as she continued to write.

“You talked to him didn’t you?” He murmured into her hair as he got his emotions under control and massaged the rocks that had taken up residence in her shoulders.

“Yes.” She said gently, as he kissed her head and sat down to look at her. “I didn’t do it for you.” Her eyes came up off her paper to lock onto his over the top of her reading glasses. “I did it for him. He needs you Gustaf and I couldn’t have that fragile bond broken and in turn break that kids heart, again. Breaking it was bad enough the first time around with his parents.” She could see her words had made their point. He’d done the right thing, it was time to move on. “Everything go ok?”

He nodded. “Yeah.” He scrubbed a hand over his face and drank his cold tea. He hadn’t thought about the repercussions of shutting her out, they spread further than he’d realized. “What did you say to him?”

“I told him you were going through some grief of your own, different to ours but grief all the same. I asked him to hear you out and to think about everything you said before getting upset or angry. I basically asked him to keep and open mind and not be judgmental. We all grieve differently, for different things.”

“I guess I owe you for that one too.” He said quietly. How was he ever going to make this right he wondered?

“No, you just paid in full. You righted the wrong and it’s done. We don’t hang past deeds over peoples heads for leverage in this house. Never have and we’re not about to start that bullshit now.” She knew where his mind was going and had read in the few pages of his notebook that Ana had done exactly that. He looked at her and saw the lawyer sitting before him, and she was scary as fuck when she pulled it out.

“Thank you.” He murmured and brushed a knuckle against her hand as she started writing.

She hooked her finger in his. “It’s done now love. We move on, we move forward, we move past this.” She tugged his fingers for him to move closer to her, he was still so fragile. Those fingers gripped his chin gently and his eyes looked into hers. “Together, you and me.” Her voice gentle. She kissed him, that loving kiss that filled his soul.

“I know.” He whispered as she got back to work with a smile. “Can I sit here with you and read?”

“Of course.” She said absently.

“Lily go down ok?” He asked softly.

“She did. A few dad dads later.” She smirked and he smiled to himself as he went to make a fresh pot of tea.

She was stronger than she gave herself credit for and took no shit either, he thought as he watched her from the kitchen. He was grateful that she was a straight shooter, called it how she saw it. It was what captured his mind the first time they really spoke over their Friday tea dates. Maybe it was time they started having those tea dates again he mused. They were the reason they’d become so close in the beginning, it might help to bring them closer together again and heal the wound he’d inflicted on her.

With a fresh, hot, pot of tea he sat with her and read his script. He absently poured her a cup, chewing over the characters and plot line in his head. Brushing a finger against her pen arm she eventually stilled and came up for air.

“Fresh tea, drink love.” He said still reading, a slight smirk tugging those talented lips.

She looked at him, then the tea and smiled. He was so good to her. She would have been in lawyer land until she fell asleep mid sentence had he not pulled her back to reality every now and then. She sipped her tea and watched him over the rim of her teacup.

He was fragile, she could see it just below the surface, a brittleness that’s threatened to shatter him if she pushed. The past few weeks had torn him apart and he was struggling to pick up those pieces. Maybe it was a good thing they were having a few days away together to reconnect. He would heal though, she’d see to it, tend him like he’d done for her. She she would stitch that kind generous heart back together a kiss at a time.

She tidied her work and stacked it at the end of the table for the morning. She really did need an office but Lily needed a bedroom before that. After Christmas she’d have enough saved to section off part of the living area into a small bedroom. Time, she thought, all in good time.

With her tea half finished she got up and took the teapot over to rinse out for the morning. He was still lost in his script when she let her hands rest on his shoulders and drift over his chest. She kissed his temple and waited. That hand soon left the paper and rested over hers.

“I’m done for the night.” She whispered. “My brain is over lawyered and I need sleep.” She kissed him again.

“Go shower I’ll be there in a minute, I want to finish this scene.” His hand snaked around her neck and he craned his head back to kiss her sweetly. “Then I’ll come snuggle with you.”

“See that you do.” She kissed him, that sinful promise on her lips.

“Illegal.” He choked with a grin.

“I think I can swindle a deal to get us out of trouble.” She smirked and headed for a shower. “Or into more depending.” He watched her walk to her room, those hips sashaying, her curves beckoning. He felt his cock twitch and groaned softly.

He finished his scene, made his notes, and tidied his work up at the end of the table with Sildies. He smiled at their bags nestled together and felt his heart flutter, normal, their normal. He checked the front door was locked and turned the lights off before pulling a daisy from the vase and bringing it with him.

He found her naked and barely covered by the bedsheet. Those curves enticing him. He placed the flower on the bed and stripped. Twirling the daisy between his fingers so it spun he grinned and climbed in beside her kissing her shoulder. He trailed the petals down her side and watched as her body shivered.

She was squirming by the time he brushed it over her hip. “That’s tickles.” She giggled quietly.

“Does it now?” He kissed her neck and nipped her jaw as she rolled slightly to look at him.

“Yes.” She breathed out as he gently bit down on the spot below her ear.

He lazily stroked her body with the flower, kissing a trail lightly over spots he knew made her lose control. He left her comfortable on her side as he dipped lower and lower with each pass of the petals over her curves.

Gently he straddled her lower leg and rested the other on his hip. He tormented her inner thighs with flower and finger, and groaned as he brushed her heat finding her soaked for him. He gripped her by the ankle and brought it up to rest on his shoulder opening her wide. His fingers destroyed her system as they caressed the length of her leg, lips kissing her calf.

Her hand gripped his thigh as he took hold of her ass and hip gently pulling her to him. She could feel his cock pressed against her entrance, the hardness and heat causing her to softly whimper for him. She’d never been taken in this position and knew the change in angle would likely send her over the edge quickly.

He toyed with her, brushing his engorged head over her clit, circling it around her entrance. She whimpered into the pillow as he slid his tip in and rested there. No words were needed, the pleasure was written all over her body, hands already fisting in sheet and pillow.

With a slow thrust he inched inside her, his hands pulling her onto his cock until he bottomed out.

“Sildie.” He breathed, as he sheathed himself deeply.

Her fingers dug into his thigh as he found that slow torturous rhythm. He felt like he’d stretched her beyond anything she’d ever felt before, his girth erotically destroying her. That thickness and length caressing every secret spot inside her.

He watched as she fell apart at his touch, gave herself to him, to the pleasure. Her body trembling deliciously as he thrust harder. Her muffled whimper into the pillow made him smile as he slipped a finger over her clit and felt her tense, her fingers digging into his thigh as she fought to control her climax.

With a cry her body spasmed, shaking and writhing as his cock continued it pleasurable assault as she came. Leaning forward slightly on his knees he quickened his pace, hips pistoning.

“Gustaf.” She whimpered as her second orgasm crested so quickly her body shook violently, hands frantic as the euphoria took her. It crashed through her and his groan only made her third build quicker.

He looked down at her as he took her. Curves trembling, hands scrambling for purchase, body writhing. The feel of her tight pussy squeezing him, pulsing around him had his release crest. He felt her tense, the soft cry and whisper as she begged him to tip her over the edge.

“Go over love, take me with you.” He growled gently.

His fingers gripped her and flicked her clit, destroying her system with an overload of stimuli. She screamed into the pillow as she shattered around him. Her pussy clamped down on his cock hard and he erupted. He pounded into her, enjoying her tightness, drawing out their pleasure.

Slowing to a stop, panting hard, his release making him see stars, he pulled out of her gently and eased her leg down massaging her hip. He lay beside her and spooned her as their heart rates came down from the high.

“Now you’ll sleep well.” He snickered playfully.

“No doubt.” Her giggle equally mischievous. She rolled over in his arms and kissed him. “That was some position.”

“You like that one?” He kissed her, tongue teasing, tasting.

“I do. I like all of them but that might be a new favorite.” She grinned.

“I’ll remember that.” He murmured and kissed her sweetly.

“I do have to sleep now though.” Her pout made him groan before he kissed her roughly. She filed that reaction away for later, she was learning what made him tick, what could possibly make him lose control.

“Yes you do. Court tomorrow, you need to be sharp.” He couldn’t keep her up any later tonight, not after yesterday.

“You doing ok?” She asked gently, her finger trailing his scruff as she snuggled against him.

“I’m doing better. Still have some shit to sort out but it’s not as bad.” He kissed her with that love he had buried deep. “You’re the light in my darkness Sildie, you burn so brightly love.”

“And you’re mine.” Her kiss was long and sweet.

“Sleep now. Don’t want my lawyer all grumpy and not at her best.” He curled her in and brushed the flower petals against her cheek which made her laugh softly.

“They smell pretty.” She sighed.

“So do you love.” Kissing her head he lay the flower on the nightstand and breathed her in.

He felt her drift and then plummet into sleep, her entire body going lax almost instantly. He smiled and kissed her head as he lay there thinking. Things were better and would continue to get better, he’d work on it. He would do better for her, for the kids.

“You’re my home.” He whispered.

***********************************************

@hausofobsession @ill-skillsgard @grandpa-sweaters @authentic90skidd @tuckersgirl @fairlyfallacy @flowers-in-your-hayr @raewritesfiction @stinkerbelle007 @kamie-b @mrsaugustwalker @skrsgardspam

#gustaf skarsgard #gustaf skarsgard fanfiction

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gozel · 5 years

Photo

Rapzan Belagat: Some rappers are presented as dissidents

http://mezopotamyaajansi35.com/en/ALL-NEWS/content/view/38672

http://mezopotamyaajansi14.com/en/ALL-NEWS/content/view/38672

actual

13:18 6 November 2018

http://mezopotamyaajansi17.com/en/ALL-NEWS/content/view/38672

https://webcache.googleusercontent.com/search?q=cache:Lp9L7W0Ei24J:https://mezopotamyaajansi.com/components/88122611/content/gallery/38647+&cd=2&hl=tr&ct=clnk&gl=tr&client=firefox-b-d

https://www.durushaber.com.tr/gundem/rapzan-belgat-bazi-rapciler-muhalif-diye-sunuluyor-h24671.html

http://mezopotamyaajansi17.com/tum-haberler/content/view/38647

ANKARA- Rapzan Belagat who attracted attention with the song 'Katilimi Tanıyorum' ( I know my killer) stating the rappers today are presented as dissidents, said: " But what they say actually is another thing. They are promoting a way of life that actually is favoured by the sovereigns."Rap music, which emerged in the 1970s as a way of expressing the rebellion of African immigrants, became widespread throughout the world.Rap music which has a wide range of listeners in Turkey, have drifted away from its essence in time but some artists like Rapzan Belagat are still producing protest rap. Rapzan Belagat drew attention with the album 'No Pasaran' of 16 songs.

Rapzan Belagat who defines himself as a socialits rapper from Dersim, told about his music and what it means in Turkey To Mezopotamya Agency (MA). Rapzan Belagat who said he thinks of the song ' Katilimi Tanıyorum' as the boy who screamed ' The king is naked' who walked among the people with his invisible oufit, said: "I did not say anything new actually. I just narreted what everbody say a little louder and stronger."

'MARGINALIZED BECAUSE THEY ARE SINGULARIZED'

Rapzan Belagat who evaluated the images of his video clip stated that the images are marginalized because they are singularized and said: "There always is a massacre, a murder, violence. You know as Ulrike Meinhoff once said 'If one person is throwing rocks against the government, it may considered to be a crime, but if a whole society is throwing rocks,it is a political act.' And music is the best way to express this. These things are happening on a daily bases. The fact that the images of those murders and massacres are being put out of sight does not make those acts dissappear." 'WE ARE TALKING ABOUT THE ONES WHO ABANDON YOU TO HUNGER' Commenting on the racist comments made about the video clip of the song 'Katilimi Tanıyorum', Rapzan Belagat said: " If ı wrote those lyrics, made that song, that video and no one was disturbed by it, that's when i would be disturbed. If the stone you're throwing is not worthy of a throwing, why would you throw stones? The sovereigns use every possible way to pump up the hatred. Tv shows, sports, music.. Those who starve says we antagonize their "flag", their "nation". No one antagonizes your flag or your nation. We are talking about the ones who abandon you to hunger!" 'THEY PRESENT SOME RAPPERS AS DISSIDENTS' Rapzan Belagat who says rap music is one of the genres that is being listened to worldwide, but it is open to criticism as well said: " In the times of political process being dominant, popular genres tend to pop up. I see the rappers in Turkey these days, they focus on drugs and gangs in the ghetto life. The severeigns does not only manage the politics but also they manage the perception of the society with music, cinema, advertisements, sports. See, those rappers are being presented as dissidents. What they actually say is another thing. They are promoting a life style what the sovereigns actually crave." 'THESE ARE WHAT THEY WANT TO BE HEARD' Rapzan Belagat who stated that the people around him does not know he is engaged in Rap music said: "My upstairs neighbor have just learned that I am engaged in rap music recently. If I was as known as the other rappers in Turkey, they would bomb the hell out of my neighborhood. If the rappers in the market are very well known and the government is not disturbed, I happen to think that is what the sovereigns want people to hear. For instance, a rapper in Turkey have recieved a plaque in a police night! This is unheard of in the history of Rap music. This is a first. You are creating a music ,liberating the streets and you go recieve a plaque from a police, in the police night..I control my legal status twice a week to see if they filed a suit against me!" Rapzan Belagat stated that Rap music entered Turkey with a nationalist discourse, though by nature it is anti-capitalist and anti- fascist. WHO IS RAPZAN BELAGAT? Rapzan Belagat, have been producing rap music since 2008. He is from Dersim. He says his chosen name means :' The person who knows rap and speaks seasonably.' The word Rapzan Belagat consists of words in Farsi, Kurdish and English. He is in Poland at the time for his education. He will take stage in Poland and Germany in the upcoming days.

https://ozgurgelecek28.net/sokan-sesini-rapzan-belagattan-dinleyelim/

Dersim: Dersim’de yaşayan Rapzan Belâgat, kendi olanaklarıyla rap müzik yapıyor. Kendisini sosyalist olarak ifade eden Rapzan Belâgat, muhalif kimliğini müziğine de yansıtıyor.

Son albümü “No Pasaran”la zulüm karşısında direnenlerin isyanını dinleyicileriyle paylaşıyor. Albümde “Başkaldırının Sanatı” başlığıyla sanatın tanımlamasını ise bize şu cümlelerle yapıyor: “Farkındalık yaratarak insanı dönüştürebilme gücüne sahip olan sanat, içinde geleceği barındıran güçlü bir silahtır. Bu nedenle egemen sınıflar açısından sanat daima büyük bir tehlike olarak görülmüştür. Çünkü sanat, sürekli olarak topluma dayatılan umutsuzluk tohumlarının da toprakta filizlenmesini engelleyen güçlü bir rüzgârdır.” Bizler de Özgür Gelecek olarak sosyalist rapçi Rapzan Belâgat’ı ve “protest müziğin ruhu ve sokağın sesi, özgürlük savaşçısı kadar da korkusuz” olarak tanımladığı rap müziğini yakından tanımak için yaptığımız röportajı sizinle paylaşıyoruz.

ÖG: Rapzan Belâgat kimdir? İsminin anlamı nedir? Kısaca kendinden bahseder misin?

Rapzan Belâgat: Dersim’de yaşayan, kendi olanaklarıyla rap müzik üretmeye çalışan bir sosyalisttir. Rapzan Belâgat; Rapi bilen, yerinde ve zamanında söz söyleyen ozan anlamı taşımaktadır. Şu ana kadar müzik hayatımda 4 yeraltı albümü bulunmaktadır. 2010 yılında “Rap Bir Sanat”, 2011 yılında “Devrim”, 2012’de “Politik Analiz” ve son olarak 2017 yılında yeni albümüm “No Pasaran”ı yayınladım.

– Dersim’de yaşıyorsun. Ve müziğinle ötekilere, kimliği yok sayılanlara sesleniyorsun. Bu coğrafyanın yaşanmışlıkları müziğine nasıl yansıyor?

– Elimden geldiğince hak ve özgürlükleri kısıtlanmış her kesimin sorunlarına değinmeye çalışıyorum. Sistemin sürekli olarak bir ötekileştirme mekanizmasıyla kendini nasıl yürüttüğünü anlatabilme gayesi içindeyim. Daha da somutlaştırmak gerekirse, düne kadar ötekileştirilen dindar kesimin bugün direksiyonu eline alınca kendinden olmayana nasıl bir tutum sergilediği aşikâr. Var olan düzen sürdükçe bugün ben, yarın sen, diğer gün bir başkasını parmakla gösterecekler.

Dersim kimliğini ötekinin ötekisi olarak tanımlayabilirim. Yaşadığın yer Dersim olunca doğal olarak devletin sürekli doğrudan müdahaleleriyle karşı karşıya kalıyor ve küçük yaşlarda buna tanık oluyorsun. Çünkü Dersim tarihinin her koşulunda farklılığını koruma mücadelesini korkusuzca ortaya koymuş ve başka bir dünya yaratma arzusunu taşıyanlara bağrını açmıştır. Müziğimi Dersim adının simgelediği gibi tüm yok sayılmalar, baskılar ve kimliksizleştirme çabalarına karşı yaptığımı söyleyebilirim.

– Muhalif bir kimliğe sahipsin, müziğinde bu hissediliyor. Rap müziğin özünde bir isyan, karşı koyuş var. Senin parçalarına da bu isyan yansımış. Rap müzikle tanışıklığınız ne zaman başladı? Yaşamında nasıl bir yerde duruyor?

– Rap müzikle ufak yaşlarda tanıştım ve 3-4 yıl dinleyici kaldıktan sonra, yaşımın da verdiği heyecanla kendimi bir anda bu işi yapmaya çalışırken buldum. İlk sözlerimi 2005 yılının son aylarında yazmaya başladım. O yaşlarda yapmaya çalıştığım işin her açıdan yetersiz olduğunun farkındaydım. Ama ”gerçek manada rap” yapma fikrinin olgunlaşması biraz uzun sürdü. Bu sürenin uzamasının bana faydalı olduğu kanaatindeyim.

Rap artık yaşamımın özel bir yerinde durmuyor direk hayatım haline geldi.

– Enternasyonal mücadelede simgeleşmiş bir sloganla; “No Pasaran” adlı bir albüm yayınladınız. Ve bu albümde yer alan parçaların ortak teması ise “direniş”. Nasıl bir dönemde bu albümü hazırladınız? Albümün hazırlık aşamasından bahsedebilir misin?

– Albüm süreci salt kötülüğün hayatın her alanına sirayet ettiği karanlık bir döneme tanıklık etti. Hukuksuzluklar, katliamlar, savaş suçları gibi devletin karanlık dönemleri diye tabir edilen günlerin bilindiğinin aksine sadece tarihten ibaret olmadığını bir kez daha gözler önüne serdi. Böyle bir süreçte bayrak çekme ve tarihe not düşme amacıyla albüm fikrinin oluştuğunu söyleyebilirim.

Sanatsal etkinlik, toplumsal duyarlılıkların çözümlenmesi ve yeni biçimlerde ifade edilebilmesine yarayan estetik bir müdahale aracıdır. Bunun bilinciyle albümün bu süreçte tamamlanmasının ayrı bir önemi olduğunu düşünüyorum. On altı çalışmadan oluşan ve yapım aşaması yaklaşık olarak iki sene süren bu albümün bütün kayıtları Dersim’de kendi stüdyomda alınmış olup albümün bütün sözleri ve düzenlemesi bana aittir.

– Albümlerinin içeriği ülke gündeminin can yakıcı süreçlerine değen bir noktada duruyor. 15 Temmuz sonrasında ise devletin “demokrasi” söylemleriyle birlikte peş peşe ilan edilen OHAL uygulamaları ile karşı karşıyayız. Sözde “demokrasi” çığırtkanlıklarıyla ilan edilen OHAL ile birlikte baskı ve sindirme politikaları devreye sokularak muhalif kesimlerin sesi kısılmak isteniyor. Ve böyle bir dönemde referandum yapılarak “tek adam yönetimi” kurulmak isteniyor. Tüm bu yapılanlara karşı senin sözün ne?

– HAYIR tavrı devrimci siyaset ve tavrın bir parçası ya da gereğidir. Tek adam sultası altında faşizmin anayasal meşruiyete kavuşturulması elbette HAYIR diyorum. Çözüm HAYIR! Ama o sandıkta kullanacağımız bir “Hayır”ın yeterli olmayacağının farkına varılmalı. Çocuklarımızın geleceğini çalan, emeğimizi hiçe sayan, bu karanlık düzeni tamamıyla yerle yeksan etmediğimiz sürece 1 ZÜBÜK gider 1 ZÜBÜK gelir.

– Bize ve okurlarımıza söylemek ve iletmek istediğin bir şey var mı?

– Röportaj davetiniz için teşekkür eder kolaylıklar dilerim. Buradan bizi okuyan dostlarımıza çağrımdır. Kitleler kendilerini temsil eden, sorunlarını dile getiren müzikleri ve müzisyenleri benimsediği, sahip çıktığı müddetçe ancak bağımsız sanat üretiminin mümkün olduğunu söyleyebilirim. Yeni albümüm “NO PASARAN”ı paylaşarak reklam sponsorumuz, satın alarak da yapımcımız oluyorsunuz. ‘’[email protected]’’ hesabıyla iletişime geçerek gerekli detaylarını öğrenebilirsiniz.

Yapım şirketlerinden uzak, bağımsız bir sanat mümkün!

Dersim Underground Rap

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fy-skz · 6 years

Text

[LYRICS] YaYaYa

ROMANIZATION

Stray Kids Watch out 2017 Yaya yaya yaya Yaya yaya yaya

Yayaya Oneureun tto eodi gani ey Yayaya Geogi gaseo mwohal geoni ey Neoneun redeukapet wie inneun Seutawa gateun wichi gwangaegeun kameramaen Dadeul jeonbu joshimhagil baranikka Nuga piryohae I said, they the best, that’s true Ppalli seoboehae Gwangaekdeureun modu gamtanhae Nega baksal naetteon mudaedeureul bol ttae Gamsanghae neoye gojib Boji mothan neoye kki Soshik eobtteon ne endolpin Oneul sumgimeopshi show me Joshim eopji machi golchitgeori

Oh eoneu sungan sarajine Oh gapjagi tteonagane Neon meoreojijima everyday Butjabajwo nae soneul kkok butjabajwo

Yayaya Nae kkumsogeseo neoneun janinhan geot gata Yayaya Nuntteumyeon nae ape neoneun sarajil geot gata Yayaya Nan sanggwaneopseo nege deuridaego bollae Yayaya Say what Yayaya Ya verse 2

Ey ah nan ajik duryeowo Chulguga an boineun mokpyoga no ey ey Ey gyesok bwawado banghwanghae Nan midji mothae deoneun narado Uh geuraedo da dallyeodeureo Geu kkum neoreul hyanghae run Heundeullineun donggongeul gamchuji mothae Nae yeoljeongeul modu bunchul

Pop pop pop pop pop Tongtong twineun maeryeok Dot dot dot dot dot Dangjang jeom jjigeonwa Bappa maeil bappa ppajineun ge Hana eomneun neon oneuldo bappa Eodiro twilji molla neon ey Nugudeun michige hajana ey Michin ji orae yutonggihan eopne Sojanggachin national treasure ey

Oh eoneu sungan sarajine Oh gapjagi tteonagane Neon meoreojijima everyday Butjabajwo nae soneul kkok butjabajwo

Yayaya Nae kkumsogeseo neoneun janinhan geot gata Yayaya Nuntteumyeon nae ape neoneun sarajil geot gata Yayaya Nan sanggwaneopseo nege deuridaego bollae Yayaya Say what Yayaya

[C/JI] mwo eottae woo Neol gatgien ajik bujokhajiman [C/JI] mwo eottae woo Jashingam sogeseo an banghwanghal nai Eotteon geotto duryeobji ana Igeon mwo dangyeonhajana Can’t nobody else do it like you Baby baby ah

Ama igeon nae yokshimijiman Nega igeol deutgil nal kkeutkkaji jikyeobwa jwo Nan dwae isseo modeun junbi Jal ttaemada ilwi saenggakhae Tto dareun nomdeureun da saengryakhae Dapdaphadago domangeul chineun naege Nega hana allyeojwosseo chulgu eopseo no way

Yayaya Nae kkumsogeseo neoneun janinhan geot gata Yayaya Nuntteumyeon nae ape neoneun sarajil geot gata Yayaya Nan sanggwaneopseo nege deuridaego bollae Yayaya Say what Yayaya One more time

Yayaya Nae kkumsogeseo neoneun janinhan geot gata Yayaya Nuntteumyeon nae ape neoneun sarajil geot gata Yayaya Nan sanggwaneopseo nege deuridaego bollae Yayaya Say what Yayaya Say what Yayaya

ENGLISH

Stray Kids Watch out 2018 Yaya yaya yaya Yaya yaya yaya

Yayaya Where are you going again today ey Yayaya What are you gonna do there ey You’re in the same place as A star on a red carpet the audience is a cameraman Because you expect everyone to be careful Who do you need I said, they the best, that’s true Hurry and cast them The audience is all in awe When they see the stage I’ve wrecked I appreciate your stubbornness Your talent I’ve never seen Your endorphin we hadn’t heard from Today show me without hiding There’s no care as if it’s troublesome

Oh at some moment it disappears Oh it suddenly left You don’t get farther everyday Hold on tight hold onto my hand tight

Yayaya I think you’re crueler in my dreams Yayaya When I open my eyes I think you’re going to disappear Yayaya I don’t care I’m gonna push close and see you Yayaya Say what Yayaya Ya verse 2

Ey ah I’m still afraid A goal where I can’t see the exit no ey ey Ey even as I keep watching I wander I can’t trust me anymore even though it’s me Uh still they’re all running Towards that dream run towards you Unable to hide your shaking pupils All of my passion erupts

Pop pop pop pop pop My popping charm Dot dot dot dot dot Put down a dot right now I’m busy every day I get busier You without anything is busy today too Don’t know where you’ll emerge ey You make anyone crazy ey It’s been a while since you’ve gone crazy there’s no expiry date A collector’s national treasure ey

Oh at some moment it disappears Oh it suddenly left You don’t get farther everyday hold on tight hold onto my hand tight

Yayaya I think you’re crueler in my dreams Yayaya When I open my eyes I think you’re going to disappear Yayaya I don’t care I’m gonna push close and see you Yayaya Say what Yayaya

Whatever woo Even though I’m lacking to have you Whatever woo The age to not struggle within confidence I’m not afraid of anything This is obvious Can’t nobody else do it like you Baby baby ah

This might be my ambition So you can hear this watch me till the end I’m ready all preparations Whenever I sleep I think of first place Omit all the other guys To me who’s frustrated and running away You’ve let me know one thing there’s no exit no way

Yayaya I think you’re crueler in my dreams Yayaya When I open my eyes I think you’re going to disappear Yayaya I don’t care I’m gonna push close and see you Yayaya Say what Yayaya One more time

Yayaya I think you’re crueler in my dreams Yayaya When I open my eyes I think you’re going to disappear Yayaya I don’t care I’m gonna push close and see you Yayaya Say what Yayaya

Translation: Candace @ FY! Stray Kids ; take out with full credit

#stray kids #t:lyrics

48 notes · View notes

kpopbios2 · 5 years

Video

youtube

Can’t Love You Anymore

Soloist: IU Ft. Oh Hyuk

Album: Palette

Time: 3:15

Year Released: April 7, 2017

Lyrics: IU, Oh Hyuk

Music: IU, Oh Hyuk, Lee Jong-hoon

Highest Place Reached on Charts: 1

Average Age of Members at the Time of Release: 23

Lyrics

미리 말할게 사과는 안 해

아무 말 없이 너 후회 안 해?

다 관심 없잖아 친구야 뭐야

Oh you know what to do

피곤해 그만 오늘은 놔 줘

더 이상 반복하긴 싫어

또 다 내가 나빠

아마 그래 난

널 미워하나 봐.

miri malhalge sagwaneun an hae

amu mal eopshi neo huhoe an hae?

da gwanshim eopsjana chinguya mweoya

Oh you know what to do

pigonae geuman oneureun nwa jweo

deo isang banbokhagin shireo

tto da naega nappa

ama geurae nan

neol miweohana bwa.

I’ll tell you in advanced, I won’t apologize

You’re not saying anything, aren’t you gonna regret this?

You’re not interested in me, am I just a friend or what?

Oh you know what to do

I’m tired, let me go today

I don’t wanna repeat this anymore

It’s all my fault

Yea, that’s it

Maybe I hate you

All

사랑이 잘 안 돼

떠올려 봐도

피부를 비비고 안아봐도

입술을 맞춰도 참

생각대로 되지 않아

웃긴 것 같아

되돌려보려고

서로 모른 척해도

이제 와 우리가 어떻게

다시 사랑 같은 걸 하겠어

sarangi jal an dwae

tteoollyeo bwado

pibureul bibigo anabwado

ipsureul majchweodo cham

saenggakdaero doeji ana

utgin geot gata

doedollyeoboryeogo

seoro moreun cheokhaedo

ije wa uriga eotteoke

dashi sarang gateun geol hagesseo

I can’t love

I try to think

I try to rub skin and hug

I try to lock lips but

It doesn’t work out that way

It’s so funny

I try to turn things back

We try to ignore it

But at this point

How can we love again?

Oh Hyuk

다섯 번째 미안하단 말이

이젠 너에게는 지겨운 건지

마지막일 거란 예감이 들어

Oh you know what to do

이건 내가 오늘 하루 종일

그린 저녁은 분명 아니야

널 보면 자꾸 네 안에

내가 보여서

이젠 내가 싫어

daseot beonjae mianadan mari

ijen neoegeneun jigyeoun geonji

majimagil georan yegami deureo

Oh you know what to do

igeon naega oneul haru jongil

geurin jeonyeogeun bunmyeong aniya

neol bomyeon jakku ne ane

naega boyeoseo

ijen naega shireo

I apologized for the fifth time

I think you’re sick of hearing it now

I get a feeling this is gonna be the last time

Oh you know what to do

This isn’t the evening

that I thought of all day

When I see you,

I keep seeing myself in you

So I don’t like it anymore

All

사랑이 잘 안 돼

떠올려 봐도

피부를 비비고 안아봐도

입술을 맞춰도 참

생각대로 되지 않아

웃긴 것 같아

되돌려보려고

서로 모른 척해도

이제 와 우리가 어떻게

다시 사랑 같은 걸 하겠어

sarangi jal an dwae

tteoollyeo bwado

pibureul bibigo anabwado

ipsureul majchweodo cham

saenggakdaero doeji ana

utgin geot gata

doedollyeoboryeogo

seoro moreun cheokhaedo

ije wa uriga eotteoke

dashi sarang gateun geol hagesseo

I can’t love

I try to think

I try to rub skin and hug

I try to lock lips but

It doesn’t work out that way

It’s so funny

I try to turn things back

We try to ignore it

But at this point

How can we love again?

어디야

eodiya

Where are you?

Oh Hyuk

넌 어디야

neon eodiya

Where are you?

집이야

jibiya

I’m home

Oh Hyuk

난 택시야

nan taekshiya

I’m in a cab

집에 거의 다 와가니

jibe geoye da wagani

Are you almost home?

Oh Hyuk

Oh 미안해

Oh mianae

Oh, I’m Sorry

뭐 어떤 게

mweo eotteon ge

For What?

Oh Hyuk

그냥 다

geunyang da

Just, Everything

들어가

deureoga

Go Home

Oh Hyuk

나 지갑 거기 두고 왔어

na jigap geogi dugo wasseo

I Left my wallet there

All

있잖아

itjana

Hey

아니야

aniya

Nevermind

Oh Hyuk

말해 봐

malhae bwa

NO, What is it?

이제 더

사랑하지 않는 것 같아

ije deo

saranghaji anneun geot gata

I don’t think

We’re in love anymore

All

Oh Oh

사랑이 잘 안 돼

떠올려 봐도

피부를 비비고 안아봐도

입술을 맞춰도 참

생각대로 되지 않아

웃긴 것 같아

되돌려보려고

서로 모른 척해도

이제 와 우리가 어떻게

다시 사랑 같은 걸 하겠어

Oh Oh

sarangi jal an dwae

tteoollyeo bwado

pibureul bibigo anabwado

ipsureul majchweodo cham

saenggakdaero doeji ana

utgin geot gata

doedollyeoboryeogo

seoro moreun cheokhaedo

ije wa uriga eotteoke

dashi sarang gateun geol hagesseo

Oh Oh

I can’t love

I try to think

I try to rub skin and hug

I try to lock lips but

It doesn’t work out that way

It’s so funny

I try to turn things back

We try to ignore it

But at this point

How can we love again?

Line Distribution

Score

Lyric & Line Points: 100

Total Chart Points: 99

Total Youtube Points: 0

Music Award Show Points: 0

Total: 199

Links

Korean Lyrics: https://colorcodedlyrics.com/2017/04/iu-oh-hyuk-can-t-love-anymore-salangi-jal

Youtube Video: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=dMn509ddAkc

Notes

Youtube Data is not accepted on this, because there is no official Music Video release of the song.

Lyric & Line Masterlist

Masterlist

#kpopbios2 #kpop #kpop lyrics #lyrics #korean #korean lyrics #IU #IU ft. oh Hyuk #IU lyrics #IU Can't Love you Anymore #Can't Love you Anymore #Oh Hyuk #Palette #IU Palette

0 notes

btsfan15 · 3 years

Text

Magic Shop - Day 1

The next morning, I woke up bright and early at 7:30. We had a lot to do before tonight. I got off the bed and brushed my teeth. I picked an outfit.

Then I combed my hair, put on my shoes, and went downstairs to meet the members for breakfast. Everyone was there, sitting at a table. "Hi, guys." I say, sitting down in a chair. "Navya, you look beautiful." RM says.

"Thank you. So, is everyone ready for day 1 today?"

"You bet, but we first have to go through some stuff. Besides that, I'm excited for tonight." Jin says.

"I want to know what you all are wearing! Can't you at least tell me?! Pretty please?!"

"You're just gonna have to wait and see." Suga says.

"I bet it's awesome! The staff always puts together the most amazing outfits for you all. Now, I'm starving. Let's eat."

Our food comes and we all eat. After that, we head into the van and head to the dome. It was huge. "Okay, let's practice the songs 1 last time so we can make it perfect for tonight." The staff says. We all nod and the members grab their mics. "Testing, testing. Is this thing on?" J-Hope says. "I think our mics are in good shape." Jimin says. V comes over to me.

"Here."

It was a mic.

"For me? Why?"

"So you can sing along with us."

I laugh.

"Thanks! Now, let's get started!"

The first song was Home.

I love this song. Everyone starts singing and I dance. The members all laugh. "Go, Navya!" Jungkook says. Then, the chorus part comes. Jimin sings.

Ama geugos-i mi casa With you, I'mma feel rich (Yeah)

Then, Jin and I sing along together.

Balo geugos-i mi casa Mili kyeodwo neoui switch (Switch, yeah)

"You know, I want that ho-o-o-o-o-ome! You know, you got that ho-o-o-o-o-ome! Your love, your love, your love (I miss that) Your love, your love, your love (I want that) Your touch, your touch, your touch (I need that) La-la-la-la-la-la-la-la, I love it (Yeah, yeah, yeah)" I say. Everyone laughs.

"J-Hope! Suga! Go!"

J-Hope and Suga rap and I cheer. I go over to Jin and sing along with him. He has such an amazing voice.

"Gallimgil-eseo jakku saeng-gagna (Saeng-gagna) Bolpum-eobsdeon nal al-ajwossdeon neo (Neo) Ni saeng-gag-e us-eul su iss-eoss-eo Niga issneun gos!" We both sing. The members all cheer. The bridge comes and Jin and Jimin sing. I sing along, too.

"Geu eonjenga. Choinjong-i se beon ullimyeon. Mun-eul yeol-eojugessni. Micheo moshan insaleul jeonhal su issge. Geuttaen malhalge, yeah, yeah (Oh-oh-oh)"

The rest of the member sing and the song ends. I clap and cheer.

"Woo, that was amazing!" I say.

"It was better when Navya was singing along! It was so fun!" RM says.

"I'll sing along to the next songs!"

Whalien 52 plays.

The members all sing. "Such a pretty song." I say, closing my eyes. It really is a beautiful song. The song ends and I open my eyes. "Good job, everyone! Next song!" RM says. 134340 plays.

V, Jungkook, and RM sing their verses.

[Verse 1: V, Jungkook] Geureol suman issdamyeon mureobogo sipeosseo Geuttae wae geuraessneunji wae nal naejjochassneunji Eotteon ireumdo eopsi yeojeonhi neol maemdone Jakbyeori musaekhae geu byeonhameopsneun saekchae [Verse 2: RM] Naegen ireumi eobguna Nado neoui byeorieossneunde Neon bichiraseo johgessda Nan geureon neol badeul ppuninde Muneojin wangseonge Nameun myeongi mwon uimiga isseo Jugeul ttaekkaji badgessji Ni mudeoun siseon Ajik nan neol dolgo byeonhan geon eobsjiman Sarange ireumi eopsdamyeon Modeun ge byeonhan geoya Neon jeongmallo Erisreul chajanaen geolkka Malhae naega jeo dalboda mothan ge mwoya Usneun uui boksuhyeongil ppun Eojjeomyeon geogi cheoeumbuteo nan eopseossdeon geoya Eonjenga neodo i mareul ihaehagessji Naui gyejeoreun eonjena neoyeosseo Nae chagaun simjangeun yeongha 248do Niga nal jiun geu nal meomchwosseo Damn

I sing along with Jin and Jimin.

Nan maemdolgoman isseo (nan neol nohchyeosseo nan neol irheosseo) Nan heotdolgoman isseo (neon nal jiwosseo neon nal ijeosseo)

The members all laugh. "Navya is killing it!" Suga says. Jungkook and V sing and Suga raps. I join Jin and Jungkook and sing along.

Nan maemdolgoman isseo (nan neol nohchyeosseo nan neol irheosseo) Nan heotdolgoman isseo (neon nal jiwosseo neon nal ijeosseo)

The songs ends and everyone cheers. "Next song, let's get it!" J-Hope says. Tomorrow starts.

I sing along with Jungkook and Jin.

[Pre-Chorus: Jungkook] Ni kkumeul ttaraga like breaker Buseojindaedo oh better Ni kkumeul ttaraga like breaker Muneojindaedo oh dwiro daranajima never [Chorus: Jungkook, Jin] Haega tteugi jeon saebyeogi gajang eoduunikka Meon hunnare neon jigeumui neol jeoldaero itji ma Jigeum niga eodi seo itdeun jamsi swieoganeun geosil ppun Pogihaji ma aljana Neomu meoreojijin ma tomorrow

"RM! V! Go!" I say, through my mic. RM raps and V sings. I sing along with Jimin and Jin again.

[Pre-Chorus: Jimin] Ni kkumeul ttaraga like breaker Buseojindaedo oh better Ni kkumeul ttaraga like breaker Muneojindaedo oh dwiro daranajima never [Chorus: Jimin, Jin] Haega tteugi jeon saebyeogi gajang eoduunikka Meon hunnare neon jigeumui neol jeoldaero itji ma Jigeum niga eodi seo itdeun jamsi swieoganeun geosil ppun Pogihaji ma aljana meoreojijin ma tomorrow

The song ends after Jungkook's verses. "Never gets old." Jimin says. We are Bulletproof pt.2 is next. The song starts.

I sing along with V.

Everywhere I go, everything I do Na boyeojulge kareul garawatdeon mankeum Nal musihadeon manheun saramdeul ijen (Oh oh oh wuh oh oh) Hey shout it out

Jimin, J-Hope, and RM sing their lines. "Navya, let's do it!" Jin says, coming over to me.

"Everywhere I go, everything I do. Na boyeojulge kareul garawatdeon mankeum. Nal musihadeon manheun saramdeul ijen (Oh oh oh wuh oh oh) We shout it out!" Jin and I sing, low.

The song ends. "God, I'm tired." V says. "We can do it. We still have 2 more songs, so let's get it!" Jungkook says. Jump plays.

"I LOVE THIS SONG SO MUCH!!! V'S PART!!!" I say through the mic. Everyone laughs. "Jungkook, Jin, Jimin, Navya! Start us off!" RM says.

"(Let's jump!) Soneul jeo wiro deulgo oechyeo da gachi pump it up! (Let's jump!) Soneul jeo wiro deulgo oechyeo modu da jumpin' up! (Let's jump!) Ttwieobojago! (Let's jump!) Jeongsin butjabeo! (Let's jump!) Soneul haneullo deulgo oechyeo modu da jumpin' up!"

The 4 of us sing together. This is one of my favorite songs. "Suga!" Jin says. Suga raps. "Here comes my favorite part!" I say. "V!" We all say. "Nuga nareul magado. Naui gal gireul gandago. Insaeng han bangirago. Leggo! (Leggo) Leggo! (Leggo) Dan harureul sarado. Huhoeneun jeoldaero eopdago. Han beon ttwieobojago!" V sings. Then, Jungkook, Jimin, Jin, and I sing again.

"J-Hope! RM! Sing it!" Jimin says. J-Hope and RM rap. Jungkook, Jimin, Jin, and I sing our part one last time. The song ends with all of us singing and RM. "Last song before the concert! Let's do it!" V says. Airplane pt.2 plays.

"Oooh, one of my all time favorite songs!" I say. "Jimin! V! Let's get it!" Jungkook says.

[Verse 1: Jungkook] Isanghan kkoma Sumswideut noraehaenne Eodideun joa Eumagi hago sipeonne Ojik norae Simjangeul ttwige hadeonthing Hanappunideon Gireul georeotjiman [Verse 2: Jimin, V] Swipji ana Silpaewa jeolmang Jichin nal nugunga bulleo sewo geonnen mal You're a singing star You're a singing star But I see no star Myeot nyeoni heulleogabeorin dwi

"Navya! Jimin! Let's do it!" Jin says. We all sing the main part.

[Chorus: Jimin, Jungkook] We goin' from NY to Cali London to Paris Uriga ganeun geu gosi eodideun party El Mariachi El Mariachi El Mariachi We goin' from Tokyo, Italy Hong Kong to Brazil I segye eodiseorado nan noraehari El Mariachi El Mariachi El Mariachi El Mariachi

"J-Hope, rap!" Jin says. J-Hope raps. "I don't know, Jimin! Let's gooooo! Suga! Kill it!" I say. Jimin and Suga laugh.

I don't know, I don't know, I don't know, I don't know Geurae meomchuneun beopdo I don't know, I don't know, I don't know, I don't know Geurae jom swineun beopdo I don't know, I don't know, I don't know, I don't know Silpaehaneun beopdo I don't know, I don't know, I don't know, I don't know TV nawaseo gwiyeoun Don jarangdeureun fed up Yeogwoneun gwarosa jikjeon Midieoui hyetaegeun doeryeo neonega badatji kkalkkalkkalkkal Ya ya selleomnorineun neonega deo jalhae Urin yeojeonhi geuttaewa ttokgateo Woo!

"V! You ready?!" I ask, going over to him.

"Ready, Navya!" V says.

We goin from Mexico City! London to Paris! Uriga ganeun geu gosi eodideun party! El Mariachi! El Mariachi!" V and I sing.

"Jin! Let's finish it off! You ready?"

"I'm always ready for you, Navya!"

"We goin from Tokyo, Italy! Hong Kong to Brazil! I segye eodiseorado nan noraehari! El Mariachi! El Mariachi! El Mariachi! El Mariachi! (El Mari-ah whoo- whoo- whoo- whoooo-)" We both sing.

The song ends and we all cheer. "That was an amazing rehearsal!" I say. "Yeah, we're totally ready for tonight!" RM says. We also practice the tea time and the Magic Shop chat. "Great job, everyone! Let's head back to the suite and rest. We have a concert to put tonight." The staff says. We all give our microphones back and head back to the van. We go back to the suite and go to our rooms. I peek my head through the door.

"See you guys tonight! I'm so excited!"

"Us too! See you!" The members all say together. I close the door and collapse on my bed. I fall right asleep.

I open my eyes and rub them. I sit right up. Our concert is tonight! I get right off and change into a black and white dress.

I curl my hair and put some mascara and lip gloss on. I put on a necklace and earrings. I put on my shoes

and jacket on and head downstairs. "Navya's here! Let's go!" RM says. On the way, we were very chatty to each other. I could tell the members were even more excited than me. Once we get there, we head backstage, to the dressing room. The member get ready and I wait. I start to get hot so I remove my jacket. I hear a low whistle.

"Who did that?"

"I did."

I look up and see Yoongi, staring at me.

"Looking good, Navya. I see you're matching us."

I cocked my head to the side.

"Matching?"

"Yeah, we're also wearing black and white first."

"Oh, okay! Got confused there for a second."

Then, the other members appear and I gasp. I stand up and go over to them.

"Wow, you guys look great! So handsome!"

"Thanks, Navya! You look great, too!" RM says.

I grin and spin.

"Thank you. Now, get your makeup and hair done! We don't have much time left!"

The members all get ready for their concert. I smile at them while they get their hair and makeup done. Then, I realize something. Where's Jin? I hear footsteps behind me. I turn around and see Jin. I try not to gasp. Why? Because he looked so hot and handsome.

I felt myself heat up. "Sorry, guys. I had trouble putting on my belt." Jin says. "That's okay. Now, hurry up! We don't want to keep ARMY waiting!" Suga says. Jin nods and his eyes fall on me.

"Wow, Navya. You look beautiful."

I feel my cheeks heat up.

"T-thank you. Y-you look handsome, as always."

Jin smiles and chuckles.

"Thanks, now let me get ready."

Then, he winks at me.

I laugh and smile.

"Alright, get ready, Mr. Winky."

Jin laughs.

"Hey!"

Jin walks past me and he smells so good. Did he take a shower right now? Probably. Anyway, the members finish getting ready. They put their ear pieces on and grab their mics and head into the magic shop lift.

"This looks amazing! I wanna ride it..."

The members all laugh. The lift takes them up.

"Good luck, you guys! Fighting!"

I hear ARMY cheering! BTS performs Home first and they did so good! Whalien 52 was so mesmerizing and beautiful.

134340 was a beat!

Tomorrow was a jam!

I clapped and cheered after they finished. The members came back to change into their next outfit.

"Guys, that was amazing!!! All that practice sure payed off!"

"Thanks, and it sure did!" J-Hope says. "Guys, get ready for the next part! Go, go, go!" The staff says. The members all get dressed. I cover my mouth with my hand. They looked like actual naughty guys in these outfits!

"Holy cow, you all look like bad guys in this one!"

"I know, right? I can probably pull off the naughty guy look." Jimin says. I laugh. "You're on!" The staff says. The members rush back on stage and they do the little skit from their 1st muster. Imagine how many times they practiced this to get it right. It was so cool! They got caught and they put their hands up!

Then, there were gunshots, like they were actually getting shot! But, they got back up and "defeated" the "bad guys." What an amazing skit! Then they all performed We are Bulletproof pt. 2 and Jump. Wow, the performance is even better at the actual fan meeting!

Then, they had a little chat. It was about their problems and they ask Magic Shop for the answer.

When Jin came, I laughed so hard! He was being so cute and adorable!

"I love the ARMY too much! Hahaha! What should I doooo?!"

The members all crack up laughing. They asked Magic Shop and the answer was "You'll find it. Ok, later." Jin was being cute again.

"I love you, ARMY!"

OMG, he was such a cutie pie! My heart! The other members finish and they say goodbye to ARMY. "We'll see you all tomorrow!" V says. "Bye!" Jungkook says. They all come backstage. "How did we do, Navya?" RM asks.

"What kind of question is that?! You guys did awesome! Not to mention asking Magic Shop the answers to your questions!"

"Yeah, it gave us weird answers." Suga says.

"Speaking about Magic Shop, there's something I want to talk about."

"Yeah?" J-Hope says.

"I don't think Jin is the oldest hyung in BTS."

"What makes you say that?" Jimin says.

"Because he was being cute and adorable!!! To ARMY!!!"

The members all laugh.

"Wait, you saw?!" Jin asks.

"Yeah! I don't want to miss all the fun and excitement! Jin, you made laugh so hard!"

"It was for ARMY, Navya! Don't make fun of me!"

"I'm not! I'm just saying you were very cute that you also warmed my heart."

Jin looks at me.

"I-I did?"

"Of course. You always do."

We both lock eyes. I took in his features. He looked even more handsome in this look.

Jin's eyes move down to my lips and he leans in. "Jin, get undressed! We have another day tomorrow!" RM says. Jin blinks and looks up.

"Oh yeah! Navya, let's go!"

"We better get home quickly to get a good night's sleep."

We change back into our regular clothes and head to the van. It takes us back to the suite. Once we get there, we get out and go in the elevator. It takes up to the 4th floor. Everyone goes into their rooms.

"Good night, guys!"

"Good night, Navya!" All the members say.

I change into my pajamas, brush my teeth, and get into bed. I had such an amazing and fun today. Watching the members perform on stage makes me so happy. I can't wait to see them tomorrow. I close my eyes and fall asleep.

Part 2 coming! Stay tuned! Love you all! 💜💜💜💜

#bts #btsjin #kimseokjin #jin #jinnie #kimseokjinnie #worldwidehandsomejin #worldwidecutieguyjin #worldwidefunnyguyjin #cutejin #adorablejin #sillyjin #funnyjin #hotjin #sexyjin #jinxme #jinfanfic #jinimagine

0 notes

yourmusicaboa-blog · 6 years

Text

Poesia Acústica #3 - Capricorniana

Verso 1: Sant :

Eu tava doido pra cantar pra ela nosso som Que escrevi ontem pensando no amanhã E hoje eu tô aqui despreparado Preocupado com tudo ao redor As pernas tremem, a boca não abre e não dá nem pra me mover Talvez se eu tivesse ensaiado mais Talvez se eu estivesse um pouco mais firme Talvez esse borbulho no estômago signifique que nós combine E nem precise de mais canções além dos sons de voz enquanto converso contigo Mas eu não consigo e tudo que eu não te digo aqui deusa É que ontem eu pus no verso Que eu tava doido pra cantar nosso som, escrevi ontem E hoje eu tô aqui doido pra cantar pra ela Nosso som, nosso som

Verso 2: Thiago Mac :

Ana Capricorniana, nesse final de semana Desculpa mas não quero ver você partir Amanhã acordo cedo, corre aqui não tenha medo O morro todo hoje quer te ver você sorrir Quem é que tem coragem pra falar de amor? Quem é que tem coragem de ser o que não é? Fiz essa aqui na laje, esse fundo é montagem Me diz o que cê quer pra aliviar essa dor Fui de peito aberto pra fechar contigo Seu mundo tava escuro, eu fui o seu farol Escolhas são escolhas, cê tem seus motivos Mas quem quer viver na sombra não espera o sol Cê sabe que a vida é um tecido fino Pois a qualquer momento pode se rasgar Talvez não seja nada, seja só o destino Era simplesmente a hora de tudo acabar

Refrão: Thiago Mac e Maria :

Meu quarto ainda tem seu cheiro, de vazio eu entendo Esvaziou o coração e sem ter explicação me arrancou de dentro

Verso 3: Thiago Mac :

Ana Capricorniana, você acha que me engana Desculpa mas não quero ver você partir Vai embora com minha blusa, só pra deixar outra sua Ninguém pode saber que você teve aqui Quem é que tem coragem pra falar de amor? Quem é que tem coragem de ser o que é? Fiz essa no meu quarto, minha casa não tem laje E a única montagem é seu sorriso sem cor, amor Seu sorriso sem cor, amor Seu sorriso sem cor

Verso 3: Lord :

Já não sei quantas vezes arrumou as malas Amamos e brigamos mil vezes ao dia Nem lembro quantas vezes procurei palavras Pra te mostrar aonde nós dois juntos chegaria Não sabe como eu corro pra cuidar de tu Mas é verdade eu não cuido nem de mim eu sou um louco Mas tudo porque eu gosto de sentir o gosto Da gente brindando muito e dividindo pouco Eu sagitariano e ela escorpiana Ela bate e ama, ela toca e mama Era pra ser mais um romance, mas nós dois faz drama Antes da parte do pornô que a gente faz na cama E o mais sinistro é que tu sabe que elas me quer E eu sei que eles te quer, mas nós dois só se quer Cantando a nossa música, transando num hotel A gente chora, porque eu preciso ir embora Me chama de bebê que hoje eu vou beber a água do seu corpo E a gente vai começar tudo de novo Nós vamo acordar juntin', eu e você juntin' Vem, vem, vem que hoje nós vamos queimar no nosso fogo Que todo tempo do mundo ainda é pouco Pra eu cantar o samba que eu fiz pra te ver sorrir

Verso 4: Choice & Maria :

Ah se você voltasse ao momento do impasse Pensasse melhor e não se precipitasse A um passo do precipício, se tu não me empurrasse Imagina se fosse um começo tão doce que deliciasse sua boca E trouxesse um sentimento lindo, ai se cê se... Seria tão bom, eu teria o meu bem debaixo do edredom Dispensaria o harém Preta você tem noção do que você tem? Me deixa no chão por favor, vem com amor e carin' Que assim vou também E se você voltasse ao momento do impasse e pensasse melhor? A um passo do precipício, ai se cê se...

Verso 5: Choice :

Ela só finge que me ignora Fala que agora namora um cara que usa blazer e dirige um Corolla Mafioso tipo barra pesada Até me disse da grana que controla Também disse que não tá preocupada que tá preparada se chegar a hora Tempo passa, telefone toca, eu atendo e digo É o chefe Tempo passa ninguém fala nada logo eu penso que se dane que isso é um blefe Novamente o telefone toca só que eu ignoro não era esse o jogo? Rio e comemoro, mas por dentro choro não é isso que nós merece! Andando sem rumo me acostumo com as sextas-feiras Vendo em segundos, reflexos de uma vida inteira Você perdendo tempo com esses caras fracos que cansam na primeira Eu transando com mulheres experientes tipo Susana Vieira Amor, falo muito sério e por mais que eu saiba pretinha tu ama bobeira E todas essas coisas serias que você me dizia e eu levava na brincadeira Talvez tenha sido sua culpa de não entender muito bem minha maneira Mas eu penso que nunca foi obrigação de ninguém entender minha maneira

Verso 5: Choice & Maria :

Mas se um fim me traz um novo inicio o começo se tornou vício Aquariana, aquariana Isso é tão difícil, mas já faz parte do meu oficio Adeus, ó libriana, ó libriana

Compositor: Choice, Lord, Sant e Tiago Mac

Poesia Acústica #3 - Capricorniana

Verse 1: Sant:

I was crazy to sing to her our sound. What I wrote yesterday thinking about tomorrow And today I'm unprepared here Worried about everything around Legs shake, mouth does not open and it can not even move me Maybe if I had rehearsed more Maybe if I was a little firmer Maybe this bubble in the stomach means that we combine And I do not even need more songs. beyond the sounds of voice as I converse with you But I can not and everything I do not tell you here goddess Yesterday I put on the verse That I was crazy to sing our sound, I wrote yesterday And today I'm crazy here to sing to her. Our sound, our sound

Verse 2: Thiago Mac:

Ana Capricorniana this weekend Sorry, but I do not want to see you go. Tomorrow I wake up early, run here do not be afraid The hill today wants to see you smile Who has the courage to talk about love? Who has the courage to be what is not? I made this here on the slab, this background is montage Tell me what you want to relieve this pain. I was open-minded to close with you. Your world was dark, I was your beacon Choices are choices, you have your reasons But who wants to live in the shade does not wait for the sun You know that life is a fine fabric Because at any moment it can tear Maybe it's nothing, just the destination. It was simply the time for everything to end.

Chorus: Thiago Mac and Maria:

My room still has its smell, of empty I understand It emptied the heart and without explanation ripped me out

Verse 3: Thiago Mac:

Ana Capricorn, do you think you're wrong? Sorry, but I do not want to see you go. You're leaving with my blouse, just to leave another one of yours. No one can know that you had it here. Who has the courage to talk about love? Who has the courage to be what it is? I did this in my room, my house has no slab And the only montage is your colorless smile, my love. Your colorless smile, my love. Your colorless smile

Verse 3: Lord:

I do not know how many times have you packed your bags We love and fight a thousand times a day I do not remember how many times I searched for words To show you where the two of us together You do not know how I run to take care of you. But it's true I do not take care of myself I'm crazy But all because I like to taste Of people toasting and sharing a lot I Sagittarian and she Scorpio She hits and loves, she plays and she It was supposed to be another romance, but we both make drama. Before the part of the porn that we do in bed And the most sinister thing is that you know they want me And I know they want you, but we both just want to Singing our music, having sex in a hotel We cry because I have to leave. Call me baby that today I'm going to drink the water of your body And we will start over again We'll wake up juntin ', you and me juntin' Come come come that today we're going to burn in our fire That all the time in the world is still short For me to sing the samba I did to see you smile

Verse 4: Choice & Maria:

Ah, if you came back to the moment of impasse I thought better and did not rush One step away from the cliff, if you did not push me Imagine if it was such a sweet start. that would please your mouth And bring a beautiful feeling, that's if you know ... It would be so good, I would have my good under the comforter I would have dispensed the harem Black do you have a notion of what you have? Let me down, please, come with love and carin ' So that's how it goes too What if you went back to the impasse and thought better? Just a step away from the cliff, here you ...

Verse 5: Choice:

She just pretends she ignores me. He says that now he dates a guy who wears a blazer and drives a Corolla Heavy Barrel Mafioso You even told me about the money you control. Also said that you're not worried. What are you prepared to do if it's time? Time goes by, telephone rings, I answer and I say It's the boss Time goes by, nobody says anything so I think damn it's a bluff The phone rings again, and I ignore it. Was not that the game? I laugh and celebrate, but inside I cry this is not what we deserve! Walking aimlessly I get used to Fridays Seeing in seconds, reflexes of a lifetime You wasting time with these weak guys that get tired in the first I fucking with experienced women type Susana Vieira My love, I'm very serious And as much as I know, my darling loves you And all these serious things that you told me and I was kidding Maybe it was your fault. of not understanding my way very well But I think it was never obligation nobody understands my way

Verse 5: Choice & Maria :

But if an end brings me a new beginning the beginning became addiction SpanishSpanish-EnglishEnglish This is so difficult, but it is already part of my job Goodbye, or Libriana, or Libriana

Composer: Choice, Lord, Sant and Tiago Mac

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mrlongkgraves · 6 years

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Health professionals declare gun violence a public health threat

Following the Parkland, Fla., school shooting, more healthcare providers are calling for tangible solutions to what they believe has become a public health crisis.

One day after a former student opened fire at Stoneman Douglas High School in Parkland, Fla., killing 17 people, American Medical Association President David O. Barbe, MD, MHA, urged action addressing gun violence. “The pervasiveness of gun violence and the weapons used in these crimes have changed the way we live,” Barbe wrote in the Feb. 15 post on the AMA website. “In movie theaters, places of worship, offices, restaurants, night clubs and schools, people today make clear note of escape routes. Schools, including the one attacked yesterday, regularly practice for active shooter situations.”

Barbe pointed out the effects of pervasive gun violence in the U.S. is not just affecting the general public, but the healthcare community as well.

“In emergency departments and trauma centers, we struggle with much more complicated, dangerous injuries inflicted by lethal ammunition fired by military-grade weapons,” he wrote.

“At the 2016 AMA Annual Meeting, which began the day after the deadly shooting at the Pulse Nightclub in Orlando, physicians from across the country and at every stage in their career spoke about treating gunshot victims and the scale of violence we are experiencing today,” Barbe said. “Their stories resonate as much today as they did nearly two years ago.”

The American Nurses Association in 2015, following mass shootings in Lafayette, La. Chattanooga, Tenn., and Charleston, S.C., called on policymakers to ban assault weapons and enact other effective gun control reforms to protect the public and restore access to mental health services for individuals and families.

One policy healthcare professionals have sought to change in the wake of recent shootings is the Dickey Amendment, a more than a decade-old amendment sponsored by Jay Dickey, an Arkansas congressman, according to a Feb. 15 article in The Atlantic. In 1996, Congress made the amendment to a spending bill, which forbade the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention from using money to “advocate or promote” gun control, according to the article.

More than 100 medical organizations asked Congress in 2016 to lift the Dickey Amendment, which makes researching and collecting data on gun violence more difficult, the article said.

“We in public health count dead people. It’s one of the things we do. And we count them in order to understand how to prevent preventable deaths,” Nancy Krieger, an epidemiologist at the Harvard T.H. Chan School of Public Health, told NPR in 2015, according to the The Atlantic article.

At least 65% of healthcare providers who responded to a Medscape Medical News poll view gun violence as a public health threat, according to a Dec. 28, 2017, Medscape.com article.

After the Nov. 5, 2017, church shooting in Sutherland Springs, Texas, Jennifer Mensik, PhD, RN, FAAN, wrote in a Nov. 7, 2017, Nurse.com post that nurses have a responsibility to advocate for improved policy regarding gun violence under the ANA Code of Ethics. “Every time we do not act, we strengthen the conviction of the person who is currently planning the next mass shooting,” Mensik wrote.

“Based on this country’s recent history, we know there’s a good chance that someone may be planning the next mass shooting right now. This person knows, based on recent similar heinous acts, that we — nurses, legislators and the general public — haven’t figured out how to prevent this from happening.”

Since the 2012 shooting at Sandy Hook Elementary School that left 20 first graders and six adults dead, there have been 400 school shootings, according to The New York Times.

“Some of us are too afraid to alienate family, friends, loved ones or colleagues by having an evidence-informed conversation, which can go a long way to figuring out how to prevent or predict this type of violent behavior,” Mensik wrote in her post. “While we may not be able to stop the next one, by continuing these conversations we can slow this down, ultimately stopping most of them.”

Courses Related to ‘Gun Violence’

CE192-60: Forensic Nursing and School Shooters (1.5 contact hrs) Many forensic nurses focus on interpersonal violence. At one time, schools — a workplace for students, teachers and nurses — were considered safe. The reality is that violence on school grounds and inside school buildings is continuing in the aftermath of several high-profile cases of shooting homicides in these settings. Nurses working in the school, community, and emergency and psychiatric mental health settings can play a key role in the prevention of violence by understanding the dynamics and profiles behind these types of homicides.

CE117-60: Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder, Part 1 — An Overview (1 contact hr) Post-traumatic stress disorder was once associated mainly with the survivors of wars, but today it is used to describe symptoms seen in a wide range of trauma survivors. The U.S. Department of Veterans Affairs National Center for PTSD indicates that at some point in their lives, 7% to 8% of the U.S. population will suffer from post-traumatic stress disorder, although more than half will experience a trauma. This educational activity will address causes, symptoms, and management of this disorder.

CE710: Knife and Gun Injuries (1 contact hr) Penetrating trauma involves wounding instruments that penetrate the skin and directly injure body tissue. Although there are numerous examples of penetrating trauma — such as a child falling on a pencil that penetrates the globe of the eye or a piece of shrapnel from an explosive device tearing through a limb — two obvious causes of penetrating trauma are firearm wounds and stabbings. This module discusses the mechanism of injury involved in firearm injuries and stab wounds. The healthcare providers should have a baseline understanding of the mechanisms of injury surrounding this form of trauma.

The post Health professionals declare gun violence a public health threat appeared first on Nursing News, Stories & Articles.

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sbknews · 7 years

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New Post has been published on Superbike News

New Post has been published on http://superbike-news.co.uk/wordpress/toni-elias-double-monterey/

Toni Elias Does The Double In Monterey

Yoshimura Suzuki’s Toni Elias took complete control of the 2017 MotoAmerica Superbike Championship at Mazda Raceway Laguna Seca this weekend, the Spaniard sweeping to victory in both Motul Superbike races at the Honda Championship of the Monterey Peninsula to head home with a 40-point lead in the title chase.

Elias made it a perfect weekend today despite riding most of the race in third place. With his teammate Roger Hayden setting the pace for almost all of the race, Elias was third when two-time defending MotoAmerica Superbike Champion Cameron Beaubier crashed out of second place aboard his Monster Energy/Yamalube/Yamaha Factory Racing R1 in Rainey Corner on the 15th of 23 laps. Then Elias closed in on leader Hayden, stalking him and finally passing him at the start of the final lap in Turn 2 and holding him off to the finish line. Hayden tried a desperation pass in the final corner and ran wide, finishing 1.3 seconds behind at the checkered flag.

The win was Elias’ eighth of the season and his fifth in succession.

“I feel happy about this result because today was not my best day,” Elias said. “I didn’t feel nervous before the race, but during the race I got passed, lost the rear (and) lost the front (at one point). Nothing that I wanted to do. That wasn’t the plan. My goal was to (beat) Roger. He had unbelievable pace and was doing a really great job, and was so difficult for so many laps. At the end I was there for the last lap and my only chance was in the first corner, because after he was faster. I did it. It was good for me and we could get the win.

“It’s good to get another win. We are working well with consistency and opened some gap in the championship, but the championship is so long. We cannot relax. We have to continue like this. I’m so happy. Cameron (Beaubier) did great today. It’s a shame for his crash. Roger (Hayden) also, congratulations. Also, surprise, Josh Herrin is here (on the podium). Great friends, these two.”

Hayden was forced to settle for second place after leading every lap except the most important one. It was Hayden’s 10th podium of the season and his fifth straight runner-up finish.

“I could hear him (Elias) back there and I knew he was going to try (to pass me) somewhere,” Hayden said. “I thought I go in Turn 1 deep enough, but he barely got by, then I just tried to stay close enough. Really the last place (to attempt a pass) was the last corner, but he did a good job of blocking. I knew I was in a little deep, but I didn’t want to follow him into the last corner. I kind of hoped for a miracle, but Toni (Elias) did good. It was a good race. I felt a lot better today. I felt strong at the beginning. We’ll keep working and hopefully we can be on top soon.”

Third place today went to Helmet Sounds.com/Western Services/Meen Yamaha’s Josh Herrin, the 2016 Superstock 1000 Champion having his best Superbike race of the year and earning his first podium of the 2017 season.

“The race was really good,” Herrin said. “A little bit of luck never hurts anybody, and we’ve been working hard all year. No matter how we get it (a good result), it feels good to get it. We’ve had a lot of bad luck this year and it feels good to finally get up here (on the podium). These guys (up front) have been riding solid all year. Toni (Elias) has upped the level (and) the new Suzuki’s have upped the level. We’re trying as hard as we can to be up there every weekend, (but) it’s hard doing it as a small team, like we are. Like Elias said, it’s a shame that Cam (Beaubier) went down, but we’ll take them (a podium) however we can get them. I’m happy to be up here.”

Fourth place went to Monster Energy/Yamalube/Yamaha Factory Racing’s Josh Hayes, the four-time AMA Superbike Champion rebounding from yesterday’s race crash to finish fourth, some five seconds adrift of Herrin and 2.6 seconds clear of Kyle Wyman, the Motovation USA/Lucas Oil/KWR Yamaha rider matching his best result of the season in fifth.

Yamalube/Westby Racing Yamaha’s Mathew Scholtz ended up sixth and for the second day in a row was the winner of the Bazzaz Superstock 1000 class. Scholtz was only .232 of a second behind Wyman and just one second ahead of Bazzaz Superstock 1000 runner-up Bobby Fong on the Quicksliver Latus Kawasaki.

“It was pretty much a perfect race for me,” Scholtz said. “I led the Superstock guys from the first lap and opened up a slight gap, maybe up to about 2.5 seconds, and then Bobby Fong caught me with probably seven or eight laps left. I kind of was just holding him off from there. I’m really happy heading into the break. We have a decent championship lead in the Superstock 1000 group.”

Fly Street/Motul Oils/ADR Motorsports Anthony West ended the day eighth after barely besting TOBC Racing’s Danny Eslick. Brixx Performance BMW’s Sylvain Barrier finished 10th for his best MotoAmerica finish in an injury plagued debut season.

It’s Gerloff’s Turn in Supersport

Today’s Supersport race was the standard thriller that was fought to the end between Monster Energy/Yamalube/Y.E.S./Graves Yamaha teammates Garrett Gerloff and JD Beach, with the former beating the latter by 1.5 seconds after 19 laps of Mazda Raceway Laguna Seca.

The win was Gerloff’s fourth of the year, which matches Beach’s win total. Gerloff now leads the title chase by four points heading in to the summer break, 196-192.

“With JD [Beach] it’s like you’re never in the clear,” Gerloff said. “It’s never going to be an easy race. He was right there the whole time. We were both wanting to lead because I think we both knew whoever was at the front was going to control the race. We had some good passes, I left some rubber on his leg, so it was good, clean racing and it’s always good to race with a friend and teammate.

“That’s been happening way too much lately (almost tucking the front end). I did that at (Utah) in the second race with (Beach), I almost tucked the front. And again here (at Laguna Seca), I went a little inside and hit the seam between the curb and the pavement and (the bike) tucked pretty fast on me, but lucky I had my knee there ready to pick it back up. I was just hoping (Beach) didn’t run into the back of me like I’ve done in the past with people. I kept it on two wheels and the thing stuck the rest the of race, so, hey, no problems.”

Team H35 Honda’s Benny Solis finished third for his fourth podium of the year and it moved him back to third in the title chase over M4 ECSTAR Suzuki’s Valentin Debise, the Frenchman crashing out of third place on the first lap.

M4 Rickdiculous Racing Suzuki’s Daytona Anderson ended up fourth, with Superstock 600 winner Jason Aguilar finishing fifth on the RiderzLaw/Aguilar Racing Yamaha.

Aguilar now leads the Superstock 600 title chase by 21 points over Michael Gilbert.

“Yeah (today) was really good,” Aguilar said. “I was a little disappointed after qualifying yesterday. I’ve qualified second at like every race this year, so I wanted just one pole position and got beat by like two-thousandths [of a second] on the last lap. I was a little bit bummed with that, but it was a really good race. Nick McFadden made a mistake on the second lap and I was able to get him. I just kind of raced [watching] my pit board from there, and just kind of backed off the last couple laps and relaxed a little bit.

“I was stoked on (the ride) and I’m stoked to finally win out here. This is kind of my home track. I haven’t had the best of luck here, but I’ve been coming here ever since 2005 with my dad and my grandpa to watch MotoGP. I just remember in 2005 when Nicky (Hayden) won I said that was the best day of my life, so I’m just happy to win here and (dedicate) this one for Nicky.”

RESULTS

Motul Superbike

Toni Elias, Barcelona, Spain, Suzuki

Roger Hayden, Owensboro, Ky., Suzuki

Josh Herrin, Dublin, Ga., Yamaha

Josh Hayes, Gulfport, Miss., Yamaha

Kyle Wyman, Macedon, N.Y., Yamaha

Mathew Scholtz, Durban, South Africa, Yamaha

Bobby Fong, Stockton, Calif., Kawasaki

Anthony West, Melbourne, Australia, Kawasaki

Danny Eslic, Tulsa, Okla., Yamaha

Sylvain Barrier, Oynnax, France, BMW

Motul Superbike Championship Standings

Toni Elias, Barcelona, Spain, Suzuki – 260

Roger Hayden, Owensboro, Ky., Suzuki – 220

Cameron Beaubier, Roseville, Calif., Yamaha – 180

Josh Hayes, Gulfport, Miss., Yamaha – 124

Mathew Scholtz, Durban, South Africa, Yamaha – 112

Bobby Fong, Stockton, Calif., Kawasaki – 106

Josh Herrin, Dublin, Ga., Yamaha – 105

Jake Lewis, Owensboro, Ky., Suzuki – 93

Danny Eslick, Tulsa, Okla., Yamaha – 82

Kyle Wyman, Macedon, N.Y., Yamaha – 76

Bazzaz Superstock 1000

Mathew Scholtz, Dublin, South Africa, Yamaha

Bobby Fong, Stockton, Calif., Kawasaki

Anthony West, Melbourne, Australia, Kawasaki

Hayden Gillim, Philpot, Ky., Suzuki

Bryce Prince, Bakersfield, Calif., Yamaha

Tyler O’Hara, Petaluma, Calif., Yamaha

Max Flinders, Preston, England, Yamaha

Jason Lauritzen, San Jose, Calif., Yamaha

Steven Zoumaras, San Diego, Calif., Kawasaki

Bazzaz Superstock 1000 Championship Standings

Mathew Scholtz, Durban, South Africa, Yamaha – 241

Bobby Fong, Stockton, Calif., Kawasaki – 198

Jake Lewis, Owensboro, Ky., Suzuki – 190

Danny Eslick, Tulsa, Okla., Yamaha – 165

Hayden Gillim, Philpot, Ky., Suzuki – 138

Bryce Prince, Bakersfield, Calif., Yamaha – 126

Max Flinders, Preston, England, Yamaha – 100

David Anthony, Murrieta, Calif., Kawasaki – 47

Anthony Kosinski, Crumstown, Ind., Yamaha – 37

Anthony West, Melbourne, Australia, Kawasaki – 36

Supersport

Garrett Gerloff, New Waverly, Texas, Yamaha

JD Beach, Owensboro, Ky., Yamaha

Benny Solis, North Hollywood, Calif., Honda

Daytona Anderson, Riverside, Calif., Suzuki

Jason Aguilar, Placentia, Calif., Yamaha

Shane Richardson, Wellington, New Zealand, Kawasaki

Nick McFadden, Owensboro, Ky., Suzuki

Michael Gilbert, Santa Ana, Calif., Yamaha

Connor Blevins, Oklahoma City, Okla., Kawasaki

Braeden Ortt, Calgary, Alberta, Canada, Yamaha

Supersport Championship Standings

Garrett Gerloff, New Waverly, Texas, Yamaha – 196

JD Beach, Owensboro, Ky., Yamaha – 192

Benny Solis, North Hollywood, Calif., Honda – 111

Valentin Debise, Albi, France, Suzuki – 124

Daytona Anderson, Riverside, Calif., Suzuki – 79

Jason Aguilar, Placentia, Calif., Yamaha – 78

Connor Blevins, Oklahoma City, Okla., Kawasaki – 72

Michael Gilbert, Santa Ana, Calif., Yamaha – 70

Nick McFadden, Owensboro, Ky., Suzuki – 62

Brandon Paasch, Freehold, N.J., Yamaha – 60

Superstock 600

Jason Aguilar, Placentia, Calif., Yamaha

Shane Richardson, Wellington, New Zealand, Kawasaki

Nick McFadden, Owensboro, Ky., Suzuki

Michael Gilbert, Santa Ana, Calif., Yamaha

Conner Blevins, Oklahoma City, Okla., Kawasaki

Braeden Ortt, Calgary, Alberta, Canada, Yamaha

Ashton Yates, Milledgeville, Ga., Yamaha

Deion Campbell, San Jose, Calif., Yamaha

Andrew Lee, Clovis, Calif., Yamaha

JC Camacho, Deer Park, Texas, Suzuki

Superstock 600 Championship Standings

Jason Aguilar, Placentia, Calif., Yamaha – 160

Michael Gilbert, Santa Ana, Calif., Yamaha – 139

Conner Blevins, Oklahoma City, Okla., Kawasaki – 136

Nick McFadden, Owensboro, Ky., Suzuki – 120

Shane Richardson, Wellington, New Zealand, Kawasaki – 112

JC Camacho, Deer Park, Texas, Suzuki – 96

Braeden Ortt, Calgary, Alberta, Canada, Yamaha – 83

Anthony Mazziotto III, Hammonton, N.J., KTM – 65

Andrew Lee, Clovis, Calif., Yamaha – 61

Ashton Yates, Milledgeville, Ga., Yamaha – 41

#Toni Elias

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royaltyoftimeandspace · 7 years

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Today’s been a long day in a good way.

We went on a quest to find pan mexicano for the road to SF

We parked too far from the powwow, but we got there after a scenic hike in time to see the entrance and azteca (that reminds me of mi ama)

added another bracelet to my now cluttered wrists.

left to find a philz, led to me internally screaming as we drove around SF (who let everyone here drive and cross anywhere and hit their blinkers in any lane and turn left only M-F from 3-7?)

but we didn’t die!! which means my driving in a larger city is decent

then we came home to Santa Rosa, got DB, and then I planned to go back to Glass Beetle and ask about maybe getting my septum pierced (EVERYONE I know has one and I refuse to start with a nose stud only. Maybe a hoop? but I want a septum too.)

then actually, after following them on insta for like a year, and knowing what I’ve wanted for ages, made a tattoo appointment. I can see half of all my paychecks between now and then going to these flowers but fuck it.

(the other half will go to an apartment and maybe groceries. and dad hats.)

(Jas and Melissa learned to not leave Ana and I unattended.)

then hurried back so I could go to my gig as a judge for the talent show tonight which was neat. Working for AS has its perks.

Kings beat the Warriors and Ana and I lost it

Now we’re gathered around playing cp games and watching grey’s

#gio's journal #long post #read more

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gustafsnightangel · 3 years

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Shattered Lives Ch 24 Pt 1

Her sleep was fitful, not surprising with Gustaf being away. It had her dreading February when he’d leave for a twelve week shoot. He’d become part of their daily lives and this trip forced into sharp relief how much he did for her, how much she relied on him. It wasn’t just the sleep ins, or the cups of tea, it was the emotional support. Having him here with her made her feel like she could handle the job of raising four kids alone. Except they weren’t alone anymore, he had become the missing piece of their very blended family.

She was settled when he was here, so we’re the kids. Now it just seemed like they were back to the scrambled mess they were prior to him collecting her runaway oranges as she stood on her threshold with a screaming Lily in her arms. Would that get easier she wondered, the separation, the busy lives and careers they both had, trying to make it work?

She thought about making partner, the opportunity that would pass her by. Deep down she wanted it, it just wasn’t feasible anymore with the kids. She was thankful she had a job and she could support the family she was now responsible for, at the end of the day, that was all that mattered. It wasn’t really a career now, she couldn’t go and do what he wanted when she wanted. It was a job, it payed the bills and fed the kids. It had to be enough.

Her mind slipped to Ana, the notebook she’d finally been able to get through. Her thoughts dwelled on his overwhelming grief for a child that hadn’t existed except in her deranged mind. How did she help him past that without causing him more pain? Of course her mind circled that one question and she shut it away, she couldn’t even entertain the idea of having a child with him when she struggled with the four she already had. She was going to have to tell him she’d finished reading it and hadn’t quite summoned the courage to do so, she knew it would upset him, which is why she hadn’t told him before he left.

She lay on his side of the bed and breathed him in off his pillow, the sheets still smelled of him too. Usually she’d change them but couldn’t. She needed to sense him here.

“I need you to cut me some fucking slack brother.” She huffed to the ceiling as she got out of bed to shower. “I have enough on my plate.” Thoughts of her plate ran through her head as she washed her hair. Meeting his family at Christmas, her birthday, Lily’s bedroom, making partner, their weekend away, Gustaf, the boys, asking Gustaf to move in, telling him she loved him, something had to give.

The kids got up without arguement and Lily, even though a little fussy because she wanted her dad dad, settled once she was dressed and in her chair. They were part way through eating breakfast when Gustaf called.

She smiled as those grins flourished across the kids faces. The man knew how to set their day up just right. She sat down and listened in as she ate, not wanting to take his time away from them.

“Where’s my lovely lady? She still in bed B?” Gustaf joked as Lily chattered and squealed at him.

“No she’s here.” Brendan turned the screen to face Sildie as he ushered the twins out to finish getting dressed and took Lily to clean her up.

“Good morning love.” He murmured, that sly smile twitching his lips.

“Morning.”

“You didn’t sleep did you?” He said seeing the tiredness in the slump of her shoulders.

“Not very well.”

“Did you go to bed when I asked?” He looked at her and raised an eyebrow.

“No, I had more reading to do. I got enough.” She lied.

“No you didn’t, I can see the dark smudges under your eyes already. To bed early tonight please.” His voice was that irritated tone and it got under her skin.

“I have to work the same as you.” She snapped back and reigned it in. She hated being snippy when she was tired and stressed.

“Yes and you have the kids to get ready on top of it. If the work can wait, to bed early?” He asked hoping she would cut herself a break. “Please love, I don’t like seeing you like this.”

“Fine.” She sighed. “Did you get any sleep?” She asked sipping her tea.

“Not much, but some.” He shrugged. He hadn’t slept well without her to curl into.

“I slept in your dress shirt.” She mumbled and ate another slice of toast.

“The one from last weeks garage escapade?” His grin said it all.

“The very same. I hid it because it smelled like you, and us, and sex.” She looked at him from under her lashes and still felt shy about admitting it.

“Then curl up with it again tonight ok?” He said softly. She nodded at him and looked up as the kids came out ready for school.

“I gotta go.” She groaned.

“I miss you Sildie. I’ll be home tomorrow.” He said, not wanting her to hang up but knowing they both needed to get on with the day, with life.

“Call tonight?”

“Yeah I’ll call same time as yesterday for the kids and then after dinner so we can chat.”

“Sounds good. Bye love.”

“Bye, have a good day.”

“It’s off to a good start.” She smiled and hung up as his grin blossomed. She had to or she’d sit there and stare at that gorgeous face for hours.

She was tired and stressed, more than usual and it irritated him that he wasn’t there to help. He had a career, Sildie understood that but it still stung. He could feel it was something more than the separation, more than her birthday. Something had worked its way under her defenses and started to bring her down emotionally, he’d get to the bottom of it once he was home, if she didn’t implode first.

She dropped the kids at school, Lily at daycare, and took a deep breath in the elevator on the way up to the office. Striding through the doors with her head held high she ignored the looks, the comments that were no doubt flourishing like wildfire about her relationship with Gustaf. Fuck them, she thought, it was her life and the rest of the world could butt out. They weren’t hurting anyone and why the fuck was she justifying it to herself she thought viciously. She skidded to a halt at the large vase of flowers on her desk, and smiled.

“They’re so pretty.” Her admin said dreamily, coming to stand just inside her office.

“Yes they are.” She said, that same wistful tone escaping her before she could stop it. Bright yellow gerberas and white daisies, her smile beamed.

She set her bag down, plucked the card up and sat it on her keyboard. She wanted to read it in private so she could savor it and the memory of him fucking her in here.

“Your schedule for today.” Vera said handing her the daily sheet. “I’ve cleared your calendar for Friday and Monday. Thursday’s going to be a pig, I’m sorry it was the only way I could keep everyone happy.”

“It’s fine.” She said softly as she glanced down the never ending list of meetings and calls. Gustaf will be home Thursday so he could maybe pick the kids up while she worked late, that would be nice for them. If he was ready, something else to chew over, she thought, if it wasn’t dumping them on him and taking advantage of the situation. That was constantly in the back of her mind, assessing, reassessing.

With her admin gone and her door shut she sat in her chair and opened the card.

I miss you love, so much my heart aches. I miss your smell, your touch, that kiss that makes my brain melt. I miss my favorite dessert, one I plan on eating over and over again this weekend. I miss your smile, that one you keep hidden from the rest of the world and only give to me. And don’t bite that bottom lip, remember what happened last time. One fucking day love, I swear.

She giggled because she was doing exactly that and felt the shot of arousal at the memory of what he had given her a taste of months ago.

You are beautiful Sildie. You are my world. I’ll see you tomorrow.

She was almost in tears. The man knew how to make her day perfect. She grabbed her bag and tucked the note in with the others he’d sent her. She was a sentimental fool when it came to those sorts of things. With a grin she sat and got down to business, the occasional glance at the flowers reminding her of his smile, of his touch. She had a ton of work to get through before their four day weekend. Four days of him naked and fucking her senseless. She groaned at the thought and crossed her legs as his phantom touch ghosted her clit.

“Fuck.” She swore quietly under her breath. “The man’s miles away and he still manages to make me want to come.” She muttered.

Her day flew by, which was a blessing, the faster it went, the closer Gustaf was to coming home. She stopped in at the school and daycare to let them know Gustaf would come and pick up the kids on occasion, and that seemed to make the boys eyes light up. They were half way home when her evening went to shit.

“What the fuck?” She muttered and the boys shut up immediately at hearing her swear in that tone.

She pumped the gas, nothing, the car had died. She managed to coast safely into a parking spot before it rolled to a complete stop. Not just a stop, a brick. No engine, no electronics, nothing, nadda, zip.

“Ama?” Brendan asked.

“The car just died. Like literally, the engine just stopped.” She sat there slightly stunned and looked to the heavens and sighed. Great, she thought, just fucking perfect. The anxiety surged to the forefront completely swamping her. It was cold out, the kids were with her, and her car was dead, could it get any worse she thought? No, don’t ask that she sighed inwardly, it could be a lot worse.

She looked up and down the street and noticed a small restaurant close by.

She took an even breath, forcing the anxiety to hold off for a moment. “Come on, let’s go eat and get into the warmth. It’s going to get cold in here soon with no engine. Grab your school bags you can do homework while I figure out how to get us home and the car towed.” She sighed out. What a shitty end to a pretty reasonable day.

They got settled into a corner table of the restaurant. With the boys busy with homework, Lily occupied in her stroller for the moment, she started making phone calls. By the time a round of hot chocolate landed on the table she had booked a tow for seven, it was the earliest, and a maxi cab at eight, so it looked like they were eating out tonight.

“B, can you watch Lily for a sec I need to go to the bathroom.” The kid nodded and scooted over so Lily could see him.

Once she’d locked herself in a stall she let it out. The tears fell and she just wanted to scream and beat her fists bloody. Why was it always one fucking thing after another, she thought? Obviously the universe decided they needed some more shit piled on their plate. Nothing like a second or third helping of crap a la mode.

“Enough of the pity party. She mumbled to herself. “Kids to feed and get home.” Blowing out a breath she sucked it up, checked her makeup, and went back to the table. She may have just sobbed her eyes out briefly but the kids didn’t need to see that.

Brendan looked at Ama’s phone when it started vibrating and smiled as Gustaf’s number and icon flashed.

“Hi Gustaf.” He said quietly.

“B? Hey, you guys ok?” He was on instant alert at hearing Brendan’s voice and not Sildie’s.

“Yeah we’re out for dinner.” The teen said softly. He could hear the twins in the background laughing.

“Ahhh that’s why you’re not home yet. I just tried calling you guys through Skype.” He relaxed a little at Lily’s dad dad, they were all safe at least.

“The car died so we’re sitting at restaurant until it gets towed.” Brendan said, watching Ama walk back.

“Oh shit! You guys ok? Sildie?”

“Yeah we’re fine, Ama’s just grumpy and stressed.” He said as he watched his aunt square her shoulders.

“No doubt. Is she there?”

“Just walking back from the bathroom.” The teen said handing the phone to Sildie.

“Hello?”

“Hi love, I hear your car decided to leave you stranded?” He said breathing a sigh of relief at hearing her voice, a very tense and terse voice.

“Yeah it just died, no electronics, no engine, just dead. I’m having something to eat while we wait for them to tow it.” She said wearily. “We’ll catch a maxi cab back home once it’s done.” She’d already reached her limit and he could hear it in her voice.

“Let me call Bill and have him come pick you guys up.” He said, already texting his brother.

“No don’t, don’t go ruining his evening. We’ll get home eventually.” She said shortly, hoping he’d leave it, knowing he wouldn’t.

“Restaurant address.” He said briskly, he would bully her on this and knew she’d push back but damn it, he wasn’t having her and the kids stranded out in the fucking cold while he wasn’t in town to help.

“Gustaf it’s fine, really.” She said propping her hand on a hip, irritation brewing. “Just leave him be.”

“It wasn’t a request Sildie.” His voice had that rarely used don’t fuck with me tone.

God the man infuriated her at times. She let the silence hang debating whether to fight him on it or not. She was primed for a full on knock down drag out over the phone but thought better of it. Not while they were separated she thought, that would only escalate things and she was already stressed enough, but she would have her say when he got home, oh boy would she.

“Were not done talking about this.” She huffed, he could hear the lawyer bristle in her voice.

“That’s fine, you can scream at me all you want when I get back tonight, but for right now, you and the kids need help getting home. Let me help, let my family help.” He said pointedly. Fuck me he raged internally, this woman got under his skin like no other, stubborn to a fault.

“Fine.” She growled through gritted teeth, no hint of seduction to be found.

He could hear the anger in her voice quite clearly and knew they weren’t done. He was forcing the issue this time around and had it not been an emergency he would have backed off and let her deal with it, but it was frigid out and they were stranded.

“Wait. What do you mean you’re home tonight?” She asked, her brain finally catching on to what he’d said.

“The producer I was having dinner with moved it forward. I’ll be home by ten. Daisy managed to get me an earlier flight.” He stepped outside of the cab he was in and nodded at Daisy to go inside he’d follow shortly.

“Ok.” Her shoulders slumping a little, the stress lessening but her voice still held that dangerous edge. “Well you might beat us home.” She said sarcastically.

“Bill says he’ll be there in twenty with Alida and Oona. And he’ll get Lily’s seat all set up in my car so you can get to work tomorrow.” He read from his texts.

“Gustaf.” She sighed exasperatedly. “I can do things for myself you know.”

“I know you can, but you don’t have to do anything alone Sildie.”

“Have you ever stopped to think that I might actually WANT to do something on my own?” She snapped. She knew she was nitpicking but the guy just rolled over the top of her without asking, without thinking about what she might want and she was in no fucking mood for it.

“Sildie. You have nothing to prove to me, to anyone. You are more than capable of doing it all on your own, but you have me, and you have my family.” He said gently. “It’s the package deal from my end. You, unfortunately, got all the Skarsgårds when you started dating me.” He said humorously trying to lighten the mood a little, it backfired.

“I’m so fucking mad at you.” She said, she was also hungry, tired, and grumpy. “And you’re missing the goddamn point.”

“I know you are, and that’s fine you’re allowed to be.” His voice quiet.

“Don’t verbally manhandle me Gustaf.” She snapped. “I don’t like it.” That low growl in her voice was lethal.

He breathed out carefully, he could hear the fury, that flat ice cold fury, he was in dangerous territory. This was more than the car dying and he wasn’t handling it well. “I’m not Sildie. I just want you and the kids safe and warm. You’re stressed out and I’m not there to help so I’m helping the only way I can.” He kept a lid on his emotions. “Let me help love, please?” He all but begged her.

She was being unreasonable, she knew that, but for fuck sake she didn’t need someone coddling her, she was a grown ass woman for fuck sake.

“Dinner’s here I need to go.” She said abruptly, she wanted to hang up in his face but wouldn’t.

“I’ll see you around ten.” He said not pushing his luck any further, he didn’t want her imploding, although she was already half way there.

“Fine. Be safe.”

“You too lo...” The line went dead and he huffed out a chuckle. “ve...That’s going to be an interesting conversation.” He mumbled as he stuffed his phone in his messenger bag and headed inside.

She sat fuming as the boys put their homework away in their bags and started eating. Lily was content and she counted her lucky stars that the tiny girl wasn’t screaming her head off for Gustaf right about now. Deep down she knew he was trying to help, lessen the stress she felt at their current situation, but he knew how she felt about asking for help and having her independence shackled.

She saw Bill and his family walk in, it was hard to miss the tall Swede who was as lanky in the legs as his brother. She gave him a shy wave and his face lit up at seeing her. She wasn’t prepared for this, for them meeting the kids, and her stomach lurched threatening to expel her half eaten meal she’d only picked at.

There was suddenly a frenzy of activity, introductions, more chairs pulled around the table, the waitress going a little bug eyed at who was sitting with them. After a few jokes between the kids and Bill, she relaxed. This wasn’t how she wanted them to meet Gustaf’s family. She wanted him here with her, so she could squeeze his hand when it got too much, have his scent to calm her. Her anxiety was already out of control and this situation was making it that much worse.

“Goose said your car died or something?” Bill asked as he sipped his drink waiting for their meal.

“Yeah, we were cruising home and everything died, engine, electronics, it’s a brick.” She said quietly. “The tow’s coming at seven.”

“We bought both cars so we can get you all home in one go, and anything you want to take with you before the car’s towed.” He said gently, he could tell she wasn’t comfortable, the napkin almost shredded in her lap was a dead giveaway.

“Thanks Bill and I’m sorry to drag you guys out in cold.” She said apologeticly, looking at Alida and Bill. “Not that Gustaf gave me much choice in the matter.” She muttered.

Bill chuckled. “It’s fine, we’re family. We’ll get you guys home safe and sound and that’s all that matters.” He shrugged it off as if it wasn’t a big deal, and to him it wasn’t. To Sildie however, well that was a different story, and he could see the guilt written all over her face. She’d interrupted their evening and dragged them out into the cold, Bill didn’t mind but from what Gustaf had said, it clearly upset Sildie.

At six thirty Bill and Brendan went out to clean the car out while Sildie stayed inside wringing her hands in her lap. Bill had told her to stay inside as snow, the bitter cold, and four inch heels weren’t really a good combination for what they were doing.

“It takes a little getting used to.” Alida said softly as she snuggled Oona in for a cuddle. “They mean well but can be a little bull headed.” She chuckled.

Sildie snorted. “That’s an understatement.” She sipped her water and watched Bill carry Lily’s car seat and get it ready in his car. “I’m not used to having someone look out for me, for the kids. And certainly not comfortable with Gustaf dragging you guys out tonight.” She said honesty. “He verbally manhandled me and I don’t like it when he does that.”

“It’s fine Sildie, really. We’re happy to help and besides, I got to meet you and Bill got to meet the kids.” Alida could see the headstrong woman sitting beside her was formidable and smiled, she was just what Gustaf needed. “This family is very close. Yes they all live their own lives and everyone butts out of your personal business, but when something like this happens and you need help, you’ll get it in abundance without question, without judgement.” Alida said softly.

“I’m still furious at him.” She said with finality. “I had it handled.”

“Fair enough, just don’t be too hard on the guy. He’s trying to take care of you while he’s miles away. That’s rough on him because I know he’d rather be here, doing what Bill is doing now. I can assure you, Bill would have done exactly the same thing had the roles been reversed, and in fact, has done done it more than once.”

“Yeah.” She sighed, forcing herself to take a breath. “You’ve got a point.” She softened, though she was still furious at him for manhandling her.

She saw the tow pull up and stood to stuff her arms in her coat. She was about to pull Lily out of her chair when Alida stopped her with a gentle hand on her arm.

“I’ll watch her, go deal with the car.” She smiled.

“You’re sure?” Sildie asked chewing on her bottom lip.

“I’m sure.”

“I owe you one.” She said quietly. “Thanks.”

“No, you don’t.” Alida smiled gently, shaking her head. “You’re family.”

Sildie gave her a slight smile and reigned in the tears as she walked out to deal with her car. Their kindness was overwhelming, it wasn’t exclusively a Gustaf thing. She sent Brendan back inside and stood with Bill as the tow got to work, the frigid air the slap in the face she needed.

“I think we got everything.” Bill said softly. “You might want to check it before they take it just in case.”

“Thanks. I don’t know how to repay you guys for bailing us out.” She said wringing her hands. This whole fucking thing made her uncomfortable.

“You’re family Sildie, there’s no score kept. My brother asked and I accepted. I could have said no, there’s always a choice, this was mine.” He said gently and watched her. Gustaf was right, he thought, she was already beating herself up over it.

“Well thank you, you’ve made the whole thing easier to deal with.” Externally, she thought, internally she it was a fucking mess.

“Anytime, and I mean that.” He smiled.

“Oh shit, one sec.” she said and asked them to stop the tow for a moment.

Bill watched her sit in the passenger seat and untangle something from around the rear view mirror and fish around in the glovebox. She came out with a stack of papers and something on a string, a charm or something.

“Everything ok?” He asked as she came to stand beside him again.

“Yeah.” She breathed out and weighed the charm in her hand looking at it. “It was from my brother.” She said simply and held it tightly as she shoved her hands in her pockets.

He kept his silence, not wanting to delve into her grief or to have her feel like she had to explain, it was none of his business unless she made it his business. He was surprised she’d said that much. He watched her carefully as she signed for them to take the car and moments later it was gone. She was one head strong woman and Gustaf had finally met his match, he thought with a smirk.

“Can I buy you a hot chocolate at least?” She asked as they headed back into the restaurant.

“I could go one of those, with extra marshmallows.” He grinned.

They sat and thawed out from the bitter cold. Bill had the boys laughing and even Lily had taken a shine to him. Not surprising she thought, there were a lot of similarities between Gustaf and Bill despite the ten year age difference. Taking a moment to watch the kids interact with him she calmed, the anxiety of the evening starting to ebb.

Bill smiled as they all left and Sildie went to pay for dinner. He’d already taken care of the cheque earlier and when she came out to the car he could see the lawyer in her surface, purposeful strides, and a thunderous look on her face. His brother had warned him about it and he braced for harsh words that never came.

The boys went with Alida, and Lily and Sildie went with Bill. She breathed out a sigh of relief and relaxed back as he drove. What an evening, and they weren’t done, no they weren’t done by a long shot. She still had to get the kids showered and in bed, get her reading done, and figure out transportation because she couldn’t use Gustaf’s car all the time, and she was gearing up for a throw down with him, livid didn’t come close.

No, she wasn’t done yet tonight.

“Gustaf asked me to pay for dinner by the way.” Bill said quietly, as he could see Lily had finally passed out as he glanced in the rear view mirror.

“I figured. I’ll have words with him about it later.” She said wearily, too tired and wrung out to argue, and it wasn’t Bill she was angry at.

“Don’t be too hard on him, he was freaking out when he called me.” His tone gentle.

“He knows how I feel about money, Bill. That’s not why I’m with him.” She blurted out, the sudden urge to defend herself bubbling up, her emotions getting the better of her.

“I know, he knows it too.”

She closed her eyes and forced the tears down. “I just don’t want to give anyone the impression that I’m only with him for money. It’s so much more than that.”

“Some will see it that way, those on the outside looking in, his family doesn’t.” He glanced at her quickly and gambled.

He took a hold of her hand and squeezed. “We already love you Sildie, because you make Gustaf so incredibly happy. That’s all that matters. You’re happy with him, he’s happy with you. That’s all. We’re family, we help each other out.”

“Alida said pretty much the same thing.” She chuckled.

“Well, my woman’s pretty damn smart.” Bill said with a pride in his voice she could hear clearly.

“Yes she is.” She toyed with the charm and let her mind stew as they neared home.

They arrived home by eight and by the time everything was transferred to Gustaf’s car or into storage it was close to nine and the kids were starting to get their grumpy on. They were clearly done for the day, as was Sildie, yet she still had her own homework to plow through. With a gentle hug from Alida, she took Oona home and Bill followed Sildie up to her apartment with bags and the rest of the junk from in her car.

“We’re fine Bill.” She said gently as they poured through the front door. “I don’t want to keep you out any later.”

“You’re sure?” He said standing on her threshold.

“Yes, this part of the day we have down to a hot mess.” She chuckled. “Thank you again.”

“You’re welcome. I sent you our numbers, call anytime if you need something, especially if G’s away ok?” He said quietly. “I’ll setup the car seat and head out ok?”

“Sure, Thanks.” She would put the numbers in her phone but probably never use them. She didn’t feel comfortable with it, not at the moment at least.

With Bill headed home and the kids finally tucked into bed she sat at the table and stared into nothing. The evening had wiped her out, she still had reading to do, and now she had to find new transportation. She was crunching numbers to see where the fuck she was going to get the funds for repairs when her eyes prickled, the tears falling without consent.

“Why?” She sighed. Why did it all have to go pear shaped? She was going to have to hold off on Lily’s bedroom expansion now for sure. Even if it was just a new engine, that would be costly enough. If it was a new car entirely she was screwed. She’d barely have enough to make payments and save for the kids bedroom. She rested her head on her hands and wept silently, sleep and exhaustion taking her under a little while later.

**************************

@hausofobsession @ill-skillsgard @grandpa-sweaters @authentic90skidd @tuckersgirl @fairlyfallacy @flowers-in-your-hayr @raewritesfiction @stinkerbelle007 @kamie-b @mrsaugustwalker @skrsgardspam @loliwrites @trippedmetaldetector

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totallymotorbikes · 7 years

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Roczen Dominates Anaheim Season Opener Press Release from Honda: The first round of AMA Supercross, at Angel Stadium of Anaheim, saw Ken Roczen turn in an exciting dream performance aboard his CRF450R, giving Team Honda HRC the opportunity to celebrate an early points lead in the series. The German native was unstoppable all evening, taking the holeshot in both his heat race and the 20-minute-plus-one-lap main and never relinquishing his lead in either. Along the way, Roczen clicked off unmatched lap times, ultimately taking the checkered flag with nearly 16 seconds to spare. Despite having to shake off some pre-race nerves, teammate Cole Seely put together a solid performance to finish sixth on the night. The Californian got off the line to a top-10 start and quickly made his way through the field, moving into fifth on lap five. He maintained that position until the halfway mark before relinquishing one spot to finish in sixth. NOTES On Friday night, Team Honda HRC’s Ken Roczen and Cole Seely, as well as Honda brand ambassador Andrew Short, were joined by GEICO Honda’s Jeremy Martin and Jimmy Decotis for the first autograph session of the season, at Santa Ana’s Del Amo Motorsports of Orange County, where they spent time hanging out with fans. Team Honda HRC was pleased to host Honda Racing Corporation Vice President Mr. Shuhei Nakamoto at Anaheim, as well as a number of other Honda Motor, HRC and HGA executives. Mr. Nakamoto, who has served in a number of important roles for Honda over nearly 35 years, will retire in April. To show their appreciation, Team Honda HRC presented him with a cake before the evening program began. For the second consecutive year, American Honda welcomed fans in the Supercross Pit Party with a huge setup that included a children’s learn-to-ride center, an exhibit of models from the 2017 CRF family and four vintage race bikes. During the daytime qualifying sessions, Seely notched the third-quickest lap time at 1:02.334, while Roczen was fifth with a 1:02.428 lap. Slotted in the second heat race, Roczen launched his CRF450R to the holeshot and early lead. Seely was in the same race, sitting fifth on the first lap. Roczen began to pull away from the pack before ultimately taking the win, while Seely moved into fourth to secure the final transfer position. Honda’s CRF450R was a popular choice at Anaheim 1, with no fewer than 15 of the 56 event entries choosing it as their steed—four more than the next-most popular machine. This week, the Honda Red Riders head to downtown San Diego for round two at Petco Park. On Friday, the riders will take part in a dealer appearance at Motoworld of El Cajon from 6-7:30 p.m. THE FOCUS: Three-Hour Tour While Team Honda HRC was as busy as anyone preparing for the new season, they did take time to celebrate the holidays, inviting team staff, sponsors and members of the media on a Newport Beach harbor cruise shortly before the New Year. Riders Ken Roczen and Cole Seely were introduced to the attendees, as was brand ambassador Andrew Short and team manager Dan Betley, but most of the time was dedicated to socializing and participating in a Honda-themed trivia contest that was won by Team Golden Boy (captained, of course, by Dunlop’s Broc Glover). “The goal was just to get everyone in a comfortable, laid-back atmosphere,” said Honda Motorcycle Sports Supervisor Brandon Wilson. “It was good for everyone to let their hair down a little bit and get to know each other better without all the hoopla that goes with work. It was a situation none of us were used to, where you could wander around and chat with different people. It was a good event, and I think everyone had fun.” Ken Roczen 94 “Tonight couldn’t have gone better. I’m happy to come away from tonight with the win but I’m staying really calm and taking this season week by week, which I don’t think I did in previous years. It’s important to take this race and enjoy tonight and tomorrow but to continue to look ahead, focus on the next race and not get caught up. At the moment I’m just having a lot of fun. The team is great, they’re working hard and all the details that make me super happy are in place right now.” Cole Seely 14 “I’m okay with how tonight went. It was good to get the first one out of the way, shake the nerves off and still come away with a pretty good finish. If you were to ask me where I put myself against everyone, I’d say that us top six tonightare in another league and going really fast, so it’s going to be a constant battle with those guys this year. I was really loose in practice and able to lay down some good laps to come out third, which is really rare for me because I don’t always qualify the best. I was happy to transfer directly into the main event from my heat race and not have to deal with a semi at the first round. I don’t really know what it was, but I was really nervous before the main. Other than Monster Energy Cup, I haven’t really raced these guys since June. I rode tight but loosened up a little bit in the middle after [Jason] Anderson got around me. Toward the end I was catching [Eli] Tomac but I just didn’t have enough time.” Shuhei Nakamoto HRC Executive Vice President “I’m really happy to see the new CRF450R win the first race of the year! I would like to thank everyone on the development team as well as the race team for getting the machine ready in such a short time, as we were feeling the effect of the earthquake right when this machine was being developed. I was also incredibly impressed by how Roczen rode the whole race. He was completely in control and he looked like he had more to give if needed. Seely also rode tenaciously and did not give up. I’m convinced his results will continue to improve as the season progresses. I’m very pleased to see us win this very important race but we should not be too content. HRC promises to give more support to the team and I hope the team keeps giving their best for the championship!” Dan Betley Team Manager “I’m really happy. Ken rode extremely well all day and completely dominated the main event, so it was a great way to set the tone and start the season on the right foot. I’m kind of bummed for Cole though. He was a little nervous for the evening and I think that may have gotten the best of him a little, but all in all our guys both showed speed all day and our starts were good. We learned a few things throughout the day but overall we’re in a good place and only made a few small clicker changes for each rider. The environment around our team is really great right now. Everyone is very relaxed and having fun, so I can’t speak highly enough about them and all their hard work. I’m really happy with where we are right now and looking forward to the rest of the season.” Oscar Wirdeman Mechanic (Ken Roczen) “This is going to be fun year. Today was almost too good to be true. It was smooth sailing throughout the whole day with the team, bike, practice and obviously race. Ken is really happy with his setup and totally crushed it tonight, but obviously we have a long way to go with 16 races left so we need to stay focused. I just wanted him to leave here healthy and in the top three, and he won by 15 seconds so that’s pretty good.” Rich Simmons Mechanic (Cole Seely) “Tonight was good. Obviously, if you didn’t win you always want to finish better because that realistically is the ultimate goal, but for Cole tonight, I was hoping for a top-three finish. I think the top six were all running pretty close though, so to come away with that at the first round is still pretty good. I think the nerves just got the best of him because he wasn’t himself all day and was just over-riding the bike and track. We’ll work out the kinks and continue to improve each weekend.” 450SX Main Event Results Pos. Rider Num Nation Points Team Time/Gap 1 ROCZEN Ken 94 GER 25 Team Honda HRC 2 DUNGEY Ryan 5 USA 22 Red Bull KTM 3 MUSQUIN Marvin 25 FRA 20 Red Bull KTM 4 ANDERSON Jason 21 USA 18 Rockstar Husqvarna 5 TOMAC Eli 3 USA 16 Monster Energy Kawasaki 6 SEELY Cole 14 USA 15 Team Honda HRC 7 MILLSAPS David 18 USA 14 Rocky Mountain ATV/MC KTM WPS 8 PEICK Weston 23 USA 13 JGR 9 GRANT Joshua 33 USA 12 Monster Energy Kawasaki 10 WEBB Cooper 2 USA 11 Monster Energy/360fly/Chaparral/Yamaha Factory Racing 11 WEIMER Jacob 12 USA Roczen Dominates Anaheim Season Opener appeared first on Motorcycle.com News.

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