Today is Spy Wednesday, the day Judas betrayed Jesus Christ.

Happy Spy Wednesday

The Judas he’s always known

“What are you willing to give me if I hand him over to you?”

That’s how today’s Gospel opens. And there’s a horrifying honesty in the question that Judas asks the chief priests. Judas knows exactly what he’s doing.

How is that even possible? Jesus is the best thing that’s ever happened to Judas.

Judas is a petty, vain, greedy man. And he’s crushingly aware of this.

But for the first time in his life, someone looked him (God incarnate, as it happens) and said, “I want you on my team.” For the first time in his life, Judas is part of something good, something holy. For the first time in his life, Judas is unconditionally loved.

The teachings that Jesus explained to the Apostles? Judas heard it.

The healings and miracles that Jesus did? Judas saw it.

When the disciples went out two by two, to heal and perform miracles in Jesus’ name? Judas did it.

So how does someone who heard, saw, and did all of that end up asking the chief priests, “What are you willing to give me if I hand him over to you?”

Because it didn’t change Judas. Not because Judas was vain (although he was). Not because Judas was stealing from everyone (although he was).

It doesn’t change Judas. Because Judas won’t let it.

None of it soaks in. All of it rolls right off Judas. Like water off a duck’s back.

Because every time it happens – every teaching, every healing, every miracle – every time, Judas keeps a tight grip on the Judas he’s always known, the Judas before Jesus. And goes right back to being that Judas.

If you look at the arc of the other Apostles – whether it’s clean and simple like the numinous moment of Nathaniel, a crisis like Thomas’ struggle with doubt, or a plodding two-steps-forward-one-step-back cycle of Peter – all of them grow and change the longer they’re around Jesus.

But not Judas. Judas is the only constant among the Apostles.

Because Judas keeps a tight grip on the Judas he’s always known, the Judas before Jesus. And goes right back to being that Judas.

That is how it happens. That’s how you get to the question. And not just for Judas. That’s how it happens for you and me.

When we encounter Jesus in the Sacraments, in the Word, in the poor, in the sick, in the people who are part of our lives, do we keep a tight grip on the us we’ve always known, the us before Jesus? And go right back to being that us?

Or do we let go of the us we’ve always known, the us before Jesus?

And open our hearts to His unconditional love? To the good, to the holy, to the possible? To the us we were made to be?

The choice matters. Because only one of them leads to eternal life.

Today’s Readings

May you have a blessed Holy Week.

Today is Spy Wednesday.

I'm making the right choice? This will save him. To make him to do something for all of us. For the two of us?

Judas had a storm of thoughts when he leaves his group in secret late at night and went to the local priests. He knew that they didn't like Jesus in the slightest for his last actions, but still, only them could do something. They still have the law on their favor, without Rome to be involved. He doesn't want Rome to be involved at all, only could lead to the slaughter. Judas begged the Sanhedrin to do something about the rabbi, to give him the chance to explain himself of his actions, to have the opportunity to be the one he claimed to be. To be the promised Messiah the people of Judea had waiting for so long. To give Jesus the chance to prove that he's the Son of God. The Sanhedrin agreed with Judas' pleading, ordering him to make sure when the time is right and Jesus is on his own, away from the crowd, inform them immediately so they can arrest him without any problem. In exchange for such help, they give him a bag full of coins. Thirty silver coins from the Temple's treasure for him to use as he sees fit. Judas sees it confused on his hand. What exactly he could find any use with such amount of money? Maybe giving it to the starving who can't afford food for Passover or the sick ones looking for an expensive medical help? Maybe in worst case scenario, Jesus is sent to jail, Judas to use this to bribe the guards and set him free early on. Anything this bag can be used on. On something good. Maybe even... Judas could use this to get a house for him and Jesus back in Kerioth when this is left behind. A nice cottage with something Jesus could use to get back to his carpentry profession. To purchase peach trees who Judas could raise and nurture for their beautiful flowers and juicy fruit. They would finally live together. Loving each other as a couple could do, and helping the ones in need each day. But there... on his knees, Judas felt his eyes watering. Is he crying...? He's shaking? The coins on his palm shining with the light of the candles. Why is this feeling so wrong? Why the voices on my mind are louder and aggressive than ever?

Spy Wednesday

Holy and Great Wednesday. Judas's betrayal. Duccio di Buoninsegna, 13th c. [OrthoChristian.com]

Kiss of Judas, fresco by Giotto, 1304-06

HAPPY SPY WEDNESDAY

Remember to leave out a plate of silver coins tonight for Judas when he sneaks down your chimney or else he won’t kill God

Holy Week Day 4: Spy Wednesday

In John 12:1-8 we’re told that Mary anointed Jesus with a very expensive oil, we also learn that Judas criticized her action, but was reprimanded by Jesus. Later, Judas went to chief priests and made a deal with them in order to betray Jesus (Matthew 26:14-16). 

The Bible records a single reprimand to Judas and then his betrayal. Opposite to him we have Peter, who wasn’t only rebuked by Jesus, but also by Apostle Paul (Galatians 2), however his reaction was totally opposite to Judas’ (2 Peter 3:14-16).

Proverbs 9:8 says “Do not correct a scoffer, lest he hate you; Rebuke a wise man, and he will love you.” How do you react when you’re rebuked? I must confess that my reaction is not always good, but I know I’m the one at fault. Judas was rebuked by Jesus and ended up betraying Him and then killing himself, Peter was also rebuked by Jesus, but he ended up as one of the most importants Apostles. Whose exemple do you want to follow?

Haven't seen you in quite a while I was down the hold, just passing time. Last time we met it was a low-lit room We were as close together as a bride and groom. We ate the food, we drank the wine Everybody having a good time

Except you, you were talking about the end of the world. I took the money, I spiked your drink You miss too much these days if you stop to think. You led me on with those innocent eyes And you know I love the element of surprise. In the garden I was playing the tart I kissed your lips and broke your heart.

You, you were acting like it was the end of the world. In my dream, I was drowning my sorrows But my sorrows they'd learned to swim Surrounding me, going down on me Spilling over the brim Waves of regret and waves of joy. I reached out for the one I tried to destroy.

You, you said you'd wait

till the end of the world

Oh you know you had it coming my friend, my friend You know you had it coming my brother, oh my brother Had it coming my friend, my friend

Spy Wednesday

For schemes the old Accuser sought

To best the Son of Heav’n

He — prowling, howling wraith fought

Into Judas — worst of men.

For silver the deal he saw was done

Thirty pieces was the cost

He s’pposed the gain — get the Son alone —

Yet blind to what was lost.

For seclusion the betrayal plot was made

No crowd would see their crime

They who thought Messiah would fade

Before Passover time.

For sacrifice the paschal offering slain:

God’s pure and spotless Lamb

No mind could fathom or contain

The death of the “I AM”