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h2bakugou · 3 years

Note

Hewoo I saw requests were open and this really cute idea popped in my head can get a lot of fluff with Denki where he surprises his s/o on they're anniversary in front of the whole school

a/n: hiii!! ooo this is so cute omg, we stan denki. please i- i love him so much i cant

summary: with your one-year anniversary coming up soon, kaminari had every intention of making it big, he’d been dating you for a whole year! however, his plan may or may get a little out of his hands when he ends up confessing in front of nearly the whole school.

key: (y/n) - your name / (f/n) - first name / (l/n) - last name / (e/c) - eye color / (h/c) - hair color / (y/q) - your quirk

warnings: swearing, fluff, a camp rock line(i never watched high school musical sorry)

word count: 1.8k

;cut for length;

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Kaminari had met you in secondary school, the year before you both got into U.A. It was coincidentally on a whim when your class collaborated with his on a debate project on some literature project.

You were paired together, four students from your class on a team with four from his class.

He was goofy, light-hearted, kind, and way too flirty for his age, but you ignored his cheesy pick-up lines until you won the debate.

He’d asked to exchange numbers at the very least since you’d become friends. And that friendship kindled over time, so much so, that you were both over the moon about applying to U.A. together.

And before you knew it, Kaminari was walking hand-in-hand with you home from the park, or from the grocery store, the two of you often hanging out together over break, excited to be making dinner one night, or happy to help out over at his house.

Needless to say, a few of those long summer nights when you spent time in the pool alone with him, you couldn’t help but let out how you really feel, the two of you eventually establishing something more than a friendship.

You headed to the entrance exams as a couple, and you were both too happy to speak when you saw one another in class the following week.

And now you sat in the Class 1-A dormitory common room, Kaminari’s body between your legs as you put up his hair, a face mask applied to both of your faces as you giggled and reminisced about your time together, your anniversary of being together for one year coming up soon.

“Remember the one time you had to go to the ER because of the shopping cart accident?” Kaminari brought up a rather embarrassing story.

“That poor old lady was petrified, she thought she’d killed me.” You and Kaminari had been goofing off in the grocery store parking lot, returning the cart to its drop-off when an old lady backed out into the cart you were standing on.

It tilted back and you saved yourself from landing face-first on the asphalt at the expense of your right arm. It hurt like a bitch and you had to wear a cast for about a month before your arm healed up enough to do much more.

“You were so worried.” You teased, braiding his yellow hair between your fingers. He lifted his head to look up at you, a pout on his lips.

“I thought you died too!” Kaminari cooed, pressing a kiss to your knee as he turned back around to let you continue playing with his hair.

“You’re an idiot.” Bakugou mumbled. Kirishima sat beside you, along with Sero, who also had face masks on. They begged to be included in the self-care session and were happily enjoying themselves listening to all your stories.

“So final jam’s coming up.” Kaminari blurted.

“What?!” You laughed, confused at his words.

“T-The final jam?” Kaminari turned back around to stare at you with puppy dog eyes.

“Are you referring to our anniversary as the final jam?” You glared at the yellow-blonde.

“I’m sorry! I had to.” Kaminari stood up and grabbed your hand, yanking you off of the couch.

“That’s right, you’ve been together for a while now huh?” Sero mentioned, glancing over at Bakugou who seemed to be interested in the idea of Kaminari holding a relationship longer than a week.

“One whole year.” Kaminari stared at you with adoration in his eyes, and you were worried if he stared any harder his eyes would pop out. Your face was hot at his words.

You felt all giddy and warm inside. You really did love Kaminari, and getting to this point felt so amazing, so refreshing.

“That’s awesome! Congrats!” Kirishima was quick to congratulate you both on the seemingly wild accomplishment.

Later during the night, after washing off the face mask and finishing up your routine, you walked back to your dorm with Kaminari.

“I really couldn’t be more excited for our anniversary.” Kaminari’s hands rested in yours as he pulled you in for a hug.

“I know, I’m excited too. You gonna take me out on a big date?” You tease, hugging him.

“I’m broke!” Kaminari whines, pressing a tender kiss to your cheek.

“I’m kidding. I just wanna spend the day with you, playing video games and-”

“Cuddling.” Kaminari offers, his eyes sparkling.

“Cuddling.” You agree, leaning in, pressing your lips to his. It’s a short kiss, but it’s meaningful, and tender, and passionate. It holds just enough emotion to convey how warm you feel inside. It’s electrifying, pun intended.

“I love you, sweet dreams.” Kaminari whispers as you begin to open your dorm door. You smile and wave.

“I love you too, goodnight.” You reply, closing the door after he leaves.

That night you tuck yourself into bed, happier than usual. You’re almost too excited to even sleep. But eventually, your dreams call you and you’re drifting away before you can even realize it.

The day of your anniversary, you’re a giddy mess. Kaminari and you are practically in each other’s arms the entire morning, hoping that you aren’t being that annoying couple. You’re keeping the PDA down to simple hand-holding even though you’d much rather embrace him and kiss him until you couldn’t breathe.

But you had classes. The mushy-gushy stuff could wait till later. When Aizawa couldn’t yell at you.

During the day, Kaminari and you both ended up surprising one another with little gifts, tiny trinkets just to show that you were thinking of each other. Kaminari of course bought you a bouquet of your favorite flowers, whereas you managed to snag a pretty rose for him and a new game for his console.

He was over the moon about the rose and claimed he was going to cherish it forever. It was so sweet.

That was until lunch rolled around.

“There the love birds are!” Mina cheered as you and Kaminari sat down at the table. Almost the entire class was aware of what was today, and a few peers congratulated you on being together for one year.

“Hush!” Your face burned with embarrassment as you nuzzled into Kaminari’s shoulder, swatting away at your pink-haired friend.

“You guys are so cute!” She teased, taking another bite of her lunch.

Lunch was abruptly interrupted when Kaminari said he had to go somewhere. You were a bit surprised by his exclamation but you said goodbye as he left.

“What’s with that?” You asked, a defeated sigh coming from your lips.

“Don’t know. Maybe he’s got another gift for you.” Mina nudged your side. You shook your head and covered your face.

“Please! I can’t take any more gifts from him, I just wanna spend quality time with him and do stupid lovey-dovey couple’s crap.” You groan.

Kaminari was racing toward the AV room where he had agreed to meet another student for something he had commissioned for you. It was a delicate glass frame with a picture of you and him embossed into it.

Of course by the time he arrived, he was running late. He blamed you for being so captivating, of course though, it wasn’t an issue that he was late, the student was there, happy as could be to have been commissioned for a project.

And the result was beautiful. It was truly wonderful, and Kaminari was almost in tears at how delicate and amazing it looked. Kaminari had already paid the student when he brought up the idea, and now he was finally here to get it.

It was wrapped in a beautiful box, carefully surrounded with bio-degradable filler to prevent it from breaking.

“Thank you so much for doing this, it’s so important to me.” Kaminari placed the box down on the table in the AV room, unaware that he’d set it down on the button that turned on the intercom for student news, etc.

Kaminari had set it down because he was afraid he’d drop it on a whim somehow.

“They’re just so important to me, I can’t explain it. They’re the one, ya know?” Kaminari’s voice rang throughout the intercom system.

Your ears perked up, your face begging to sear with heat.

“I think I’ve always loved (Y/n). When we met I could just feel the world stop and all I could see was them. And from there I knew, I wanted to spend every waking moment with them.” Kaminari was completely unaware that his words were now being heard throughout the entire school building.

“Oh my god.” Kirishima looked at you. Everyone that knew you, was staring at you. You couldn’t help but feel touched. You could feel your eyes swelling with tears, happy tears.

“I live to see them smile, and their laugh? It’s music to my ears. I’m so in love with them. I’d spend a million years of my life with them, today marks one.” Kaminari’s words were cut short by a teacher barging through the door. Quickly turning to see the commotion, Kaminari was confused when the teacher started yelling about using the intercom for personal reasons.

That’s when Kaminari’s eyes shot down to where he’d sat the box, and now noticed the blinking red light that confirmed the intercom was actively broadcasting.

Blush spread like fire across his face and ears, as he quickly grabbed the box and stormed back to the cafeteria where you were still eating lunch.

Barging in, you lifted your head, smiling like an idiot as he ran toward you.

“I am so sorry! I didn’t mean to do that I- It was true, all of it, but I didn’t mean to embarrass you or or-”

Your lips on his shut him up as your rested your hands on his shoulders, completely silencing him. His hands held onto the box in front of him, his lips moving together against yours.

A few cheers and ‘woos’ came from fellow students but you couldn’t hear them. You were completely capsulated by Kaminari and the electric love blossoming between the two of you.

Pulling away in a haze, all you could see was him.

“I love you so much.” You smiled.

Later, after a decent scolding from Aizawa and another teacher, you were let go and finally allowed to go to your dorm.

Placing the delicate glass picture up on your shelf you then pulled Kaminari onto your bed, nuzzling into his side.

“This is what I was waiting for.” Kaminari cuddled into you, wrapping around you like a sloth as you laid on his stomach doing the same.

“This is an average Tuesday for us.” You mumbled, pressing a kiss to his cheek.

“Well, I like my average Tuesdays with you, dummy.” Kaminari smiled, clicking on your tv to watch something as you cuddled.

The anniversary was a success. And who cared if nearly the whole school knew about how strongly you felt for one another. You were happy, Kaminari was happy, and you couldn’t wait to spend more time with him.

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masterlist

#kaminari #denki #denki kaminari #kaminari denki #kaminari x reader #denki x reader #kaminari denki x reader #denki kaminari x reader #my hero academia #boku no hero academia #mha #bnha #my hero academia x reader #boku no hero academia x reader #mha x reader #bnha x reader

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ssa-thotchnerr · 3 years

Text

Nerve Gas - Chapter One

Word Count: 1500 words

Warnings: Violence, swearing, angry!hotch, angst, saw references

A/N: lmao this was legit only supposed to be a one shot but welcome to the SAW series!

—

"Y/N, I know that you're mad at me, but just...answer your phone? I won't be mad at you, I just wanna know that you're alright,"

Hotch sighed as he threw his phone down on the desk in front of him. You'd stormed out after an argument about your midterm grades that the school had sent your dad, he wasn't too happy with your grades, to which you blamed it on stress from both him and school before you left. And now?

It seemed like you were off the grid completely.

"Still nothing?" Prentiss asked, standing at the doorway of Hotch's office. He looked up at her and saw the look on her face, she looked sorry.

"Zip," He said, looking back at his phone as if he could manifest you picking up your phone and calling him back. "Judging but that look on your face I have a feeling that there's something you wanna tell me?" Emily nodded.

"Yeah, Garcia located Ben Rogers, he's at the old Wilson Steel factory," She told him. Hotch nodded as he he stood up, taking his phone with him just in case you did call.

"And she's positive she's got him this time?" Hotch asked Emily.

"Positive"

—

You let out a groan as you woke up, a sickly yellow light barely illuminated the room you were in. As you looked around, you saw 4 other people in the room with you, none of them you knew.

It felt as though you couldn’t remember what you knew.

You pushed yourself up the wall and onto your feet, trying to stay as quiet as possible to not alert the intimidating looking people around you.

"What's this, house arrest?" One of the women asked, another one was pacing around in the corner opposite your own.

"No, this is far worse than any jail you could even think of," Someone said. Looking up, you saw a man standing at the door, trying to open it. "Shit, it's locked." He said, making another futile attempt to rattle the door open, the noise making you screw your face up

"Look, people must be watching us," The other woman said, pointing up at the camera in the corner, the red glow of its lens catching your attention. "Hey! Let us out!" She yelled. You looked over at her and shook your head, hiding your face in your hands as you tried to take in what was actually going on, since you weren’t quite sure that it had hit you yet.

"Do you really think that they're gonna help us? The person on the other side of the camera's probably the person that got us here on the first place," You said, stepping back as everyone in the room looked at you weirdly.

"Oh yeah? How'd you know that?" The last man asked. You looked around at everyone else, they looked at you with suspicion in their eyes, like you were part of some masterplan.

Oh yeah, because you, a small 15 year old of average intelligence could be able to think of something as elaborate as this. And anyway, why would you put yourself through this?

"I don't know, it was just an idea," You mumbled, a scowl on your face as you looked around. In the wooden crate beside you, you caught a glimpse of a tape player inside of it, you reached in to grab it, glimpsing at the key hanging on to the bottom of the ancient device. "And whoever put us in here needs a reality check into the 21st century." You said, pulling it out and pressing the play button. The small tape inside begun to spin, a voice coming from it as it played.

"Hello and welcome. I am confident that you are all wondering where you are. I can tell you that, while your location is not of great importance, what these walls offer for you is important: salvation... if you earn it. Three hours from now, the door to this house will open. Unfortunately, you only have two hours to live. Right now, you are breathing in a deadly nerve agent. You've been breathing it since you arrived here.

You looked up at the ceiling grate above you and stepped away from it to try and avoid the glass that would inevitably be entering your lungs anyway.

"The only way to overcome it and walk out that door is to find an antidote. Several are hidden around this house. One is inside the safe in front of you. You all possess the combination to the safe. Think hard. The numbers are in the back of your mind. Once you realize what you all have in common, you will be in a better understanding of why you're here. X marks the spot for that crucial clue. Let the game begin."

One of the men aggressively stepped towards you, you took a step back, only to come into contact with the wall behind you. You yelped as he pushed you against the wall roughly, your head bouncing as it smacked against the concrete behind you.

"How'd you know how to find that?" He growled, his hands having a bruising grip on your shoulders, making you wince as you tried to get away from him.

"It was in the box," You told him, shaking as he gripped you harder. “H-Here, take-take it.” You stuttered, flinching back when he grabbed the tape recorder and the key attached to the bottom of it.

“What are you doing?” One of the girls asked, watching as he lunged towards the door and shoved the key in, desperate to escape from the room you were all entrapped in. As he twisted it, it must have been connected to a mechanism, because a shot from a gun behind the door went off. You screamed as his body turned around, a bloody hole in his head where his eye used to be. You used to think that you would know what to do in this situation, especially with your dads line of work. You thought you’d be able to be brave and take charge, be a superhero and save the day just like your dad. But you were wrong, so, so wrong.

But hey, you knew what you wanted now.

You wanted your dad.

“Do not even think about moving, Rogers,” Derek called out to the figure sitting on the chair. Ben Rogers smirked as he looked up at the FBI agents, a sick, twisted, malicious grin, aimed at one SSA Hotchner. “Cuff him, take him back to Quantico.” Derek said.

“I’m afraid I’ll have to stay here, Agent Morgan,” Ben said. Derek, Hotch and Emily were in charge of the case, and they were the only ones at the building. “And besides, I’m sure you’ll be much busier with the other problem that should be much more concerning than little old me.” He said, nodding over to the sheet covering a row of computer monitors in the security office. The three kept a watchful eye on Rogers, despite knowing that he wouldn’t be able to get anywhere. He was stuck on an IV drip and looked half alive. As they entered the room, Emily pulled the sheet away from the monitors, Derek flipping the switch on and watching as they whirred to life.

“Hotch,” Emily said, getting his attention. Hotch furrowed his eyebrows as he loooked at the monitor in front of him, hearing your voice coming from the speaker made his stomach dropped.

“Y/N,” Hotch breathed out. “Call Garcia.” He ordered, marching back into the room to see Ben sitting with that same twisted grin on his face.

“Hotch, be careful,” Derek warned him. Hotch briefly turned back to nod at him, but he felt too overcome with anger, this was the very man who’d kidnapped his daughter.

“What the hell was that?” Hotch asked, placing his hands on the table and staring down the man in front of him.

“That was your daughter, Y/N, you know her, don’t you?” Ben asked, tilting his head at Hotch. Hotch let out a scoff as he shook his head.

“Of course I know who she is, now tell me where the hell she is!” Hotch yelled angrily. Derek called Garcia while Emily stood outside, watching through the window.

“She’s in a safe place, Mr. Hotchner, no need to worry,” Ben said, shaking his head and smiling. “Well, I made a bit of a mistake there. You do have to worry. You see, Y/N has about 2 hours before the deadly gas she’s breathing in in that house begins to close off her airways and cause a very, very painful death. And there will be blood.”

—

Taglist - Open!

@psych0crybaby @laiba-the-person

#criminal minds #x daughter #x daughter reader #x teen!reader #Hotch x daughter!reader #ssa hotchner #hotchner!reader #Hotch x reader #daughter #angst #saw!au

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xxisxxisxxis · 4 years

Text

Gateway Drug | Part Sixty

Words: 4K

Warning(s): Explicit language, mentions of drug abuse, mentions of violence

Tag List: @unknownoblivion @sinningsixx @edwardtriggerhandzz @lemmyjelly @haileynicoleseavey17 @cierrasixx19 @oskea93 @mgkobsessed @vamprlestat @sharon6713 @itsametaphorbriansblog @miriampraez @allie-mcginn @xpoisonousrosesx @rebeccaphillips14 @nicholeh7 @fandomshit6000 @lilmou5ie @tamedhearts @divaanya @kingbouji3 @evrsncnewyork @6ixx6ixx @ratedrkohardychick91 @floregrohlssard @oldschoolimagineblog @thanks2pete @abaldboi @swoopygorl @justjodeye @liith-ium @caos18blog @ytwahsog @shamlessobsession @scarecrowmax @toadspleen @random-internet-user-4471 @solohqrry @loveofmyloif @sparxx27 @kaitieskidmore1 @cruecifymesixx @ijustwanttokiss70srogertaylor @emmaelizabeth2014 @meetthesixxter @sixxsixxsexx @sublimeprincesswasteland @arianareirg @girlnight-terror @mcnibberachi

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"...Viv?!" Nikki's voice echoes through the house and I continue turning over everything in our bedroom for the fourth time tonight.

"What, babe?!" I reply, glancing at the clock to see it's only 1:30am.

"Look who I found!" He calls back and I let out a sigh of frustration in myself for not being able to find it, and I stand from the floor and step into our living room. "Yeah?"

I stop in my tracks at the sight of crooked teeth grinning widely at me, overzealous clothing adorning one...

"Andy!" I pipe.

"Vivian!" He enthusiastically exclaims, his accent wrapping around every syllable of my name.

He's swallowing me in a tight hug, laughing, before pulling away to cup my face with his ring-heavy fingers.

"You look a little tired." He tells me.

I put my hands on his cheeks, holding his face like he is mine, not skipping a beat as I say:

"You look a little sober."

His teeth show with his genuine grin and he chuckles.

"Because I am." He confirms my suspicion and happiness floods me.

"That's great, Andy, oh, God, that's great." I smile, the two of us breaking away from each other as Nikki clears his throat.

"What're you doing in L.A.?" I ask, ignoring Nikki scowling at the two of us.

"I'm thinking about moving here--thinking." He emphasizes on "thinking."

"Why just 'thinking'?" I ask, crossing my arms.

"It's so fuckin' loud, Vivian, it's so loud." He groans a little, rubbing his forehead. "I only like my music loud."

"Well, ye--"

"--Andy, c'mere." Nikki cuts in from our bedroom.

I hadn't even noticed he went in there.

"Coming." He says to him, the two of us heading to Nikki.

Once we step foot into the bedroom, my heart tightens in my chest as Nikki's standing at the closet door with it wide open, smirking.

"I wanna show you something." He tells him, motioning into the closet, that's completely pitched dark, looking like a sadistic carnie inviting a freshly sober Andy into his heroin hell.

"Nikki." I warn, glaring at him.

"Fuck off, Viv." Nikki states as Andy walks to him, curiously.

"Nikki--"

"He's a big boy, Vivian." Nikki cuts me short.

Ah, yes. Another thing Nikki took up as a form of entertaining himself: trying to get people to shoot up with him.

Didn't matter if they'd never done it before, had been sober for a couple months, or a couple years...it was a challenge in his eyes and he enjoyed it.

I rub my lips together nervously as Nikki waves me off and I let out a sigh, going to the kitchen.

It doesn't take long at all before Andy's walking into the kitchen, his brows furrowed and his eyes wild with confusion.

"Psst, V!" He whisper yells as I open my Pepsi and I look at him.

He gets closer to me.

"He's got a habit." He tells me, referring to Nikki.

I want to burst out into laughter.

A habit? No shit, Sherlock.

Which I can't blame, Andy. He has no idea the utter hell Nikki has been in and projected onto everyone else the past year.

But taking one look at Nikki's disgusting, strung out, hellacious closet-- filled with used needles, plastic lemons, cotton, pipes, burnt carpet, spoons, empty bottles and bodily fluid stains--is what made this man realize he's got a "habit"? Ray fucking Charles can see that Nikki's got a habit.

All anybody has to do is take one look at him at the end of the night...or just smell him.

Apparently I'm smiling because Andy's scolding me.

"That's not fucking funny, Vivian, what the hell are you laughing about?" He questions me.

"Me, and everybody else around him, is aware he's got a problem, Andy. Trust me." I assure him and he rolls his jaw.

"Then why aren't you doing a thing about it?"

"You know it doesn't work like that." I tell him, shaking my head.

"I wish it did." He admits, looking back at the kitchen door to make sure Nikki isn't there. "Look, I told him he has an issue and needs help, but I know the bastard won't listen. So I'm telling you." He points at me. "He's this close," he holds his thumb and pointer finger apart by barely the width of a single hair, "to being out."

"I know. Okay? I know. But I can't do anything. He won't listen, he won't listen to me, or Doc, or Bob Timmons, or his friends or--"

"--Why would he listen to his friends telling him to get help when they're all on the same bloody thing?" He asks me.

I raise a brow, realizing he's got a point. "Childhood, and friends, influence who we are." He states wisely. "I won't be back around here until he's laid his mess to rest." He adds.

"I understand." I assure him, the gears in my mind starting to turn as he heads to our front door and I follow him.

He turns to face me, kissing my cheek.

"Keep your head clear." He orders me, once again.

Oh, I was.

A week later, I'm still trying to figure out a way to talk to Nikki about sobering up before the tour, but I know he's one step ahead of me.

Dealers have been coming to the house less and less.

I grab my overnight bag from the passenger seat after coming back from staying the night with Sharise and Skylar, before stepping to the front door.

I turn my key in the lock and open it, immediately hit with the smell of a shitshow.

People are passed out from the foyer to the living room, spreading into the kitchen and more than likely the hallways.

Empty cups, glasses, bottles, syringes, bindles, baggies, cigarette packages, abandoned condom wrappers and full condoms, all litter my fucking house.

Broken dishes, stains on the carpet, cigarette burns on our furniture, broken picture frames that were accidentally knocked off the walls, and inevitably more damage to be determined, all greet me as I make my way through the house, trying to keep from panicking as vomit and exposed genitalia is nearly everywhere I step.

I open our bedroom to see naked strangers in our bed, and I step to the closet to see Nikki, passed out, a nearly naked Tansy beside him.

There weren't many times where Tansy wasn't nearly naked at that point.

I let out a breath, realizing I've spoken too soon on the state of Nikki's attempt to get off drugs.

I cross my arms and kick at Nikki's side with my boot until he's groaning awake.

"Is there any chance you found my ring last night?" I ask him, furrowing my brows, because his exact words before I left were "I'll look for your ring tonight, baby."

He let's out another incoherent grumble before his eyes are closing slowly.

"Okay." I reach my hand past him and grab his shotgun, making sure it's loaded as I go to the back door, opening it, standing out from under the shade area by the door, before firing into the air.

The racket tears through the house, startling people awake as I fire off three shots, and I come back into the house to see wide eyes and confused expressions.

"Get out!" I pipe, clapping my hands together repeatedly, kicking gently at people to herd them up and get them to the door.

Within fifteen minutes they're all scattered on the curb of the street outside our gate, and I'm locking my house and getting a good look at the hellhole.

Slash's girlfriend is stumbling out of our guest bedroom before rubbing her sleepy face and looking at me.

"He's messed the bed." She tells me, sleepy frustration in her voice.

"What?"

"Slash, he's messed the bed."

I don't know what she means by that, but when I walk in and see the puddle underneath him, I groan.

He wet the bed.

"I'll scrub the mattress, I promise." She assures me and I shake my head.

"I'm scrubbing it and mine, anyway, so don't worry about it." I tell her. "You do need to wake him up, though, alright? He's got rehearsal in a couple hours."

"Yeah, I'm already on it." She assures me. "Right after I puke my guts out." Her face pales and I scramble to grab a boot off the floor at our feet and she throws up into it as I hold her hair back.

"Viv?" Stevie asks tiredly from the couch, a naked girl passed out on top of him and I run a hand through my hair.

"Okay, how many of you are here?" I ask him.

"Him, Slash, and Duff." Slash's girlfriend replies after dry heaving some more.

"Duff?" I think I mishear her.

"Yeah?" His tired, hungover voice is asking me and I take a few steps into the living room seeing him shirtless, covered in lipstick marks, by the fireplace, passed out, two completely naked girls on either side of him.

When I'm standing over him, his eyes are slowly blinking open before closing again.

"Hey, Viv." He mumbles.

His bloodshot eyes are soon bugging open and he's sitting up so fast, he has to vomit, and he's accidentally spewing it all over girl number 1's torso, causing her to squeal out in disgust.

"I am so sorry, holy shit." Duff apologizes to her as I rush to grab some paper towels to help her clean herself up.

When I get back, he's helping her wipe off with his discarded t-shirt.

"You can use our shower." I tell her, helping her up, and she covers her exposed body the best she can as I lead her to mine and Nikki's bathroom.

When I get back in the living room, Steven's pulling his clothes on, and Duff's standing up, and they both have something in common.

"With all due respect, please put your bushes away." I say in reference to their pubes hanging out of their unzipped pants.

"Oh, sorry." Duff says, zipping his pants up.

"Gimme a second, Viv, alright, it's a process." Steven tells me. "If they get caught in my zipper--"

"--Got it, Stevie." I squeeze my eyes shut as I tell him.

"I'm gonna go get Nikki up an--"

"--Hey, I'm sorry about your mattress but, I didn't mean to." Slash slurs, his pants nowhere to be found and I keep my eyes closed the second I get an eyeful of everything down south.

I have seen too many penises in the past twenty minutes I am...I am..." I try to speak. "...I am...I am going to church. That's what I'm gonna do. And when I get back, I want the girls gone, I want Nikki and Tansy up, I want my guest bed mattress cleaned up, and I want the penises put away." I sigh out, going to my bedroom to get dressed. "Also, if any of you happen to find my wedding ring, I would appreciate it."

Duff ended up meeting me after church to apologize, which he really didn't have to.

There's a lot of stuff he's apologized for that he really didn't have to.

He just likes to keep peace and make sure there's no ill feelings left undisclosed.

He's always been that way.

"Duff, don't worry about it, alright?" I ask, stepping to my car.

"No, seriously, Viv, we helped trash your house and I'm sorry."

"Duff--"

"--And I-I know Nikki's got his shit he's struggling with and last night none of us tried to keep him out of trouble and it was just really shitty." He goes on.

"Duff, it's okay. I'm not mad." I tell him, honestly.

"Really?"

"Yes, now get to rehearsal before Axl shits a brick."

"I just came from rehearsal. He didn't show." He shrugs.

"He didn't what?" This catches my attention. "That's like the fifth time this single month."

"Well, it's just how he is. If everything isn't perfect, he just stays to himself until it is in his mind." He explains.

"But that's useless because everything gets to him."

"...Yeah, but, I mean, we're all use to it by now so it's really nothing. He does take it seriously, he really does. He just handles things the way he handles them is all."

"He just handles things the way he handles them" is something I'd hear repeatedly in the years to follow from everyone around Axl as he became more and more difficult.

He didn't make rehearsal? "That's just him."

He didn't make a show? "He's just going through some stuff."

He indirectly started a riot that hurt and killed fans? "He's trying, he really is."

The issue: all the "yes" men he had surrounding him that refused to argue or speak up against him.

And all the guys would just keep their mouths shut to avoid pulling the pin on the angry-Axl bomb.

I had to have an eye on me at all times when I was around him because I reached a point I'd just start fights with him--especially after Steven was kicked out--anytime he did something assholish, because Axl always went big or went home no matter what he did, and they'd sometimes get physical.

But unlike Nikki or Vince or Robbin or anyone else I'd hit over the years, Axl would hit back, and hit back hard.

We'd be as bad as drunk frat boys with everybody and anybody trying to get and keep us separated while Monroe would be in the next room oblivious that his mom and God-Father were going at it like a dog fight.

I found out later that, that big party was a "goodbye" to Nikki's smack addiction because he actually managed to get it together somewhat in the months to follow.

Nikki's gaining a tighter grip on my hand as Doc and Rich Fischer, the bands tour manager, go over the schedule for the tour with us.

"We will staying in the same location for about a week, and just traveling to the surrounding locations for the actual shows an--"

"--Woah, woah, woah," Tommy starts, "why?"

"You guys will have a jet so it'll just be easier that way instead of having to try to fly to a city that's just an hour away if we drive." Rich cuts in to explain.

Translation: if we travel city to city, you have a higher chance to get into trouble, whereas if we stay in the same city for several days at a time, you'll get bored with it quicker.

What actually happened: staying in the same location for so long just gave them more time to rack up dealers and figure out what places they shouldn't have gone, but went anyway and still get into plenty of trouble without Doc's knowledge.

"Now, we sent in the request to have your jet spray painted black with the naked chick on the side, but the best they could do was a half naked girl riding the bomb." Doc states next and Nikki groans like a child, rolling his eyes behind his sunglasses.

"Tansy, you and Sparkie are gonna be tagging along, so we've already booked rooms for you guys, as well." Doc assures her and she nods.

"Thanks, Doc."

"And guys, since the past tours have been a little hectic because kids will come into the hotel or be at the shows and pick up on what you're up to or where you're at because they'll hear us say your names and they'll start tuning in, we've given everybody a number for security purposes." Fred adds, pulling a piece of paper out of his shirt pocket. "1: Doc, 2: Me, 3: Rich, 4: Tansy, 5: Vince, 6: Nikki, 6½: Vivian, 7: Mick, and 00: Tommy. And Tommy, Vince, when Sharise or Heather is along with us we'll have Sharise set as 5½, and 00½, alright?"

"Sounds good." Vince nods.

"Dude, '00'." Tommy grins, happy with his code number before he turns to Mick. "We're 007, man." He nudges Mick in the arm. "Except instead of killing bad guys, we're killing pussy."

"Yes, because that's exactly what I'm known for." Mick replies sarcastically.

"I think it's cool." Tommy states.

"And that's all that matters, drummer." Mick assures him, his hint of a smile tugging at his lips.

"Does Sparkie get a number?" Tansy asks next.

"If he gets sought out and mauled, he gets sought out and mauled. There's nothing we can do." Nikki bluntly replies to her and everybody attempts not to chuckle.

"4½, Tans." Fred forces his laughter back to keep from hurting her feelings.

"Be nice." I say quietly to Nikki and he smirks.

"I am." He argues lightly.

"North America through November, then Japan until the end of December, then Europe at the start of '88, and back to North America in the Spring." Rich tells us. "Of course you'll have breaks in between, but that's that for the most part. We'll be on the road for almost a year. Any questions?"

They all stay quiet and he nods.

"Alright, I'll see you guys in a couple weeks and we'll head to Tucson." He assures us.

"Woo!" Tommy gives a couple of claps, a happy smile on his face as we all stand up to leave our meeting.

Once we get out in the parking lot of the office, he's nudging at my shoulder.

"Where we goin', Viv?" He asks me and I raise my brows.

"What do you mean, Tommy?"

"Tonight, remember? We've got a date." He adds.

"We do?"

"Yeah, I told you last week I wanted to hangout and you said tonight would be fine." He explains.

"Oh, yeah." I nod, glancing at Nikki. "Are you--"

"I'm meeting up with Steven anyway, babe, you go." He rubs his jaw and I look at Tommy.

"So, what do you wanna do?" He asks next and I raise my brows.

"Umm..."

Within a few minutes we're sitting in my car, listening to "Space Truckin'" by Deep purple, eating icecream while he rambles on about his love life.

"And I love her, Viv, I really do, ya know? But she doesn't take in to consideration my feelings and how I feel about stuff. It's bullshit."

I gasp dramatically, sarcastically.

"You mean, Heatherland isn't as fun as advertised? Oh, no. How terrible."

"Ha ha, Viv, funny, but I'm being serious." He states. "Like, right now. We're in a rut."

"What kind of rut?"

"Like...okay, we love each other. I know we do. But I don't feel like I'm in love with her anymore."

"Tommy that's normal." I tell him. "If you're with the same person, you're gonna eventually feel like that. It doesn't mean you aren't in love with her, it just means you're out of the honeymoon phase." I shrug. "Do you still like her?"

"Of course." He tells me.

"Then you're fine. When you stop liking her, is when you may need to talk about some stuff. Also," I take another bite of icecream, "sleeping with other women probably isn't helping anything so I'd stop that, too, if I were you."

He doesn't say anything before letting out a breath.

"I know I shouldn't do it, but, Viv, it's not like it really means anything, really. It's just a pastime, ya know?"

"Tommy, Chess is a pastime. Girls aren't, when you're married." I explain.

"Well, you don't really get it, Viv." He shrugs.

"Agree to disagree." I mumble, taking another bite of dessert.

A long moment of quiet passes before he chuckles a little to himself.

"What?" I ask him and he shakes his head a little.

"Just remembering the look of horror on your mom's face when she came and found us after she found out I was in Mötley Crüe." He explains and I also remember how terrified she was, and start laughing.

"We had to hid Nikki under the table at the Rainbow when we saw her car pull up." I recall.

"She was so freaked out, dude. I thought her mouth was gonna start foaming."

"Then you freaked out when she started speaking in tongues."

"Oh, she was? I just thought she was so pissed she forgot how to talk."

We're both almost wheezing at this point.

"Viv?" He says when he calms down and I raise my brows and look at him.

"Yeah?"

"I miss being close like we use to be." He admits. "And I know we stopped hanging out for a while after I got married but that's partly my fault, too."

"It's mine, too, Tommy." I assure him. "And I'm sorry I haven't really tried to spend time with you one-on-one after Nikki and I got married."

"I was upset at first, but now that Heather and me are married, I get that sometimes you gotta prioritize."

"Yeah, you do." I finish my icecream.

"Especially when you start having kids." He adds and I try to play off the spiking of my nerves.

"You guys want kids, right? I mean, you were both pretty ready for it when you thought you were pregnant that one time right after you got married."

"I'm waiting for Nikki to get it together before we try for any." I say.

"He told me he's gotten off Methadone and he's holding up pretty good."

"He is." I confirm. "He's doing good."

It wasn't a lie. Nikki had finally given up on trying to fix his problem himself and asked Bob for help.

He got in on a Methadone program and got off of it as soon as he could to avoid getting hooked on it, too. He still drank and snorted a little coke, but he went weeks without touching junk or smoking crack.

I really should have told him more than I did, how proud I was of him.

I also should have told him I experienced disappearing twin syndrome before miscarrying altogether, and every single one before that, but it would have knocked him off his sobriety in a heartbeat.

I planned on telling him, I just didn't know when or how, but I knew I wanted to wait until he was at least a year sober.

It obviously didn't turn out like that.

I drop Tommy off back at the office to grab his bike before I head home to see Vanity sitting on the front steps by the door.

"Is Nikki not with you?" She asks me.

"Um, no, I think he went to meet Steven." I explain to her.

"Oh...well, do you know where they may be?"

I open the door and sigh out, turning to face her.

"Vanity, Nikki's doing well. He's got his shit together for the most part and I don't think it would be a good idea to be around him if you're just going to bring him back down to where he use to be." I tell her.

Her soft smile falls.

"I'm really not trying to offend you. You're my friend and I love you but that stuff isn't good for you and maybe you should follow Nikki's example. I mean, if he can do it, almost anybody can."

"You don't get it, do you?" She asks me and I furrow my brows. "I'm not the one causing him to do any of it, Viv. You are."

"What?" I furrow my brows.

"You have a tumultuous relationship and it makes him want to escape." She explains.

"Vanity, you don't know a thing about our relationship so don't go there."

"I know what he tells me."

"What Nikki tells you, or what who he is when he's stoned, tells you? Because Nikki takes responsibility for his shit. Who he is when he's strung out, avoids it at all cost and just points his finger at everybody else." I state.

"I know all I need to know simply based off how he acts when you aren't around." She insists.

"And how exactly does he act, Vanity?" I start to lose my patience, taking a step toward her.

"Like. Himself." She says through a clenched jaw.

"You don't know him like you think you do." I tell her, shaking my head.

"And neither do you." She guarantees.

#nikki sixx #mötley crüe #nikki sixx fanfiction #nikki sixx x oc #gateway drug

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katedrakeohd · 5 years

Text

Drake was hopeless in the laundry room by himself until Kate came to his rescue... Rated M ( 18+)

2000 word #wacky drabble 6 using the prompt: You make no sense sometimes.

Wacky Drabblers: @jessiembruno @brightpinkpeppercorn @jovialyouthmusic @sirbeepsalot @bobasheebaby @burnsoslow @qween-corgis @emceesynonymroll @bbrandy2002

Drabbles MASTERLIST

_______________________________

Doing the ‘laundry’

Standing by himself in the hallway, Drake feels awkward. He wanted to be wherever Kate was, but he'd been relegated to the laundry room to tackle his dirty clothes alone. Hopefully she wouldn't be gone long, because he didn't have a clue how to work a washing machine.

Upstairs in the loft bedroom, Kate is sitting on the bed watching her Mom and Carol bicker back and forth about Drake.

“Oh my goodness Carol, did you have to flirt so openly with my son-in-law over dinner?” Lorraine grumbles as she looks through a dresser drawer for sleepwear.

Carol glances at Kate, before giving Lorraine an apologetic smile and shrug of the shoulders. “I'm sorry, I couldn't help it. He's charming and handsome, and oh my gosh that accent. I could listen to him talk all day. You can't blame me for wanting to know more about him.”

Kate didn't mind them talking about Drake, and besides she was just happy to have her Mom finally refer to him as her son-in-law. One of the cats on the bed, a soft grey tabby, gets up from where it's curled up by the pillows and walks over to Kate for attention. As it rubs up against her arm, Kate moves to allow it to curl up in her lap. It softly purrs as she strokes the soft fur along it’s back.

Lorraine turns toward Kate with sigh, hands on her hips. “What do you usually sleep in?”

“Now that I'm with Drake, usually as little as possible, he's like sleeping next to a woodstove. But for the sake of decency I'll take a tshirt and pj pants if you have it.” Kate says, knowing that she won't be wearing them for long.

Lorraine opens the bottom drawer of her dresser and finds a grey tshirt and blue plaid pants, “Will these do? I'm sorry if they're not the most feminine colors to wear, but they are cozy.”

Kate nods, “That will do just fine for now, I don't suppose you have anything large enough for Drake to wear?”

Carol frowns in thought for a moment, “Well I might. What size boxers does he wear?”

Lorraine’s eyebrows shoot up in surprise as she turns to Carol, “Since when do you have men's boxers in your wardrobe?”

“Well usually I don't, but do you remember when my brother was here last fall to help do repairs on the roof? I did his laundry and some of it got left behind. Now my brother is a little shorter, and bigger around the middle than Drake, but too big is better than too small right?”

Lorraine shakes her head, “I swear you make no sense sometimes. Do you honestly think he's going to wear some other guys underwear?”

Kate laughs, “Well I guess we're gonna have to try them anyway. I highly doubt Drake would be comfortable sitting around naked under a blanket while we all eat pie.” Not that it would bother me much, but he wouldn't like it. Especially in the presence of my Mom.

Looking down at the soft blanket that covers the bed, “Speaking of blanket, can we borrow this one for cuddling up on the couch?”

Carol shrugs, “Sure, here let me dig out those boxers for you. There might be a tshirt that'll fit him amongst Jake's stuff too.”

Lorraine laughs, “Oh for goodness sake, did Jake go home naked? How could he leave so much of his clothes behind?”

“It was the Fall, and he was wearing layers to ward off the chill,” Carol replies, as if it should be obvious.

Drake stands in the laundry room wearing just his green towel. He's holding the bottle of detergent in his hand and trying to figure out how much soap to use, and what wash setting to choose on the machine. My shirts are white, my jeans are blue, my underwear and socks are black. Can I wash them together?? If Kate adds her stuff will we have more colors to figure out? Damn why is laundry so complicated?

Rubbing his hand frustrated through his hair, Drake is distracted by a knock on the laundry room door. “What!?”

Kate grins on the other side of the door, “It's me Kate. Are you decent?”

Drake sighs with relief, oh thank goodness. “Come in here and help me.”

Kate holds her blanket bundle under one arm and then opens the door. She raises her eyebrows and gives Drake an appreciative glance. She had forgotten how short that green towel was. Giving him a whistle, she giggles and then closes the door behind her.

“Wow babe, you look nice in green.”

Drake frowns and then slams the bottle of detergent down on the counter. “Ha ha, very funny. Now can you please help me?”

Kate lays down her bundle, revealing the clothes inside. “Sure hon, what do you need help with?”

Reaching up with both hands Drake rakes his hands back through his hair, heaving a sigh of defeat. “You know I don’t have a clue how to do laundry.”

Kate opens the lid of the machine, and then starts to pull things out. “Did you check the clothing labels for washing instructions?”

Drake's eyes go wide and his mouth drops open, “They have instructions?”

Kate laughs, “Well of course silly, see?” She opens up his dress shirt and shows him the symbols.

Squinting at the tiny marks on the tag, Drake frowns. “I've never paid attention to those before, for me the tag was just to tell me front or back, size and brand.”

Kate groups the dirty clothes into light and dark piles, and then reaches for the zipper on her skirt. Drake gives her a cheesy lopsided grin, “Now it's your turn to strip for me.”

Rolling her eyes, Kate shakes her head. “Oh hush you, we need to get these clothes in the washing machine and then get changed.”

Drake wiggles his eyebrows at Kate and then whips off his towel with a flourish and a jerk of his hips. “Ok, and what am I wearing exactly?”

After stepping out of her skirt and adding it to the pile of dark clothes, Kate nods toward the blanket bundle on the counter. “There's a shirt and a pair of shorts in there for you.”

Kate appreciates Drake's naked ass when he turns away. She can't help but step over and give it a slap. His jump of surprise and protest makes her laugh. “Ow! Watch it!”

Unbuttoning her blouse, she takes it off and hangs it on the back of the door. “Oh I quite enjoy watching you walk away honey.”

Drake steals a glance over his shoulder at Kate standing in just her bra and panties. “Almost naked, now gimme a peek at what's underneath.”

Kate reaches behind her back to undo her bra, when the straps fall off of her shoulders she bunches up the white lacy fabric under her breasts and lifts them with both hands, “You mean these peaks?” she smirks at him and drops her voice to a seductive purr.

Drake abandons getting dressed and steps over to her. Standing just inches away he looks down at Kate, his eyes dark and hungry. He reaches up to hook his fingers in the straps of her bra and gives it a gentle tug down her arms. “Here let me help you with that.”

Dipping his head down for a kiss, Drake can feel her smile against his mouth, “I think my panties are just too complicated to attempt, could you help me with those too?”

“Always willing to help you out of your clothes Kate,” Drake mumbles, moving his mouth to her cheek, his breath hot on her neck.

Kate's eyes flutter closed at the pleasurable warm current that races through her blood. When Drake's hands slide down over her hips to push the fabric down, his thumbs draw swirls on her skin, sending a rush of heat to her crotch. Parting her legs she lets the cotton drop around her ankles. With a growl of desire Drake clutches her ass, pulling her up against him. Kate grips his arms as his mouth comes down onto hers again, his kiss hungry and insistent. With a whimper of surprise, Kate wraps her arms around his neck as he lifts her up and sets her on top of the drier. The cold metal under her ass is a stark and jarring contrast to the intense heat of him as he parts her thighs with his hips. Holding on tightly, Kate drops her head back as Drake kisses a hot trail down her throat, nipping at the skin on her shoulder.

Wrapping her legs around his hips, trapping his hot and hard cock against her lower belly, Kate whispers, “Take me Drake, right here, right now.”

With a groan from deep in his throat, Drake tips Kate backward. Pulling a nipple into his mouth, sucking forcefully until she gasps, he lets it go to snap back all dark, pink and swollen.

“Better hold on tight,” Drake says, shifting his hips backward, and guiding himself into position.

Kate moves one hand to grasp Drake by the back of the neck, gripping his hair. The other arm gripping him by the shoulders. Tucking her face into the side of his neck she closes her eyes and gasps with pleasure as he rocks his hips forward, working his way inside. Drake's own groans and whispers only heighten the sensation for them both as Kate stretches to accommodate him. Feeling flushed with heat all over, Kate lets go of his shoulders, gripping the top of the drier as he gains full penetration.

Gripping her ass firmly, holding still to savor the warmth and depth of her, Drake brings his mouth down to capture hers in a deep and probing kiss. As her tongue slides along his, he starts moving again. The metal of the drier rattles and squeaks as he makes each thrust full and deep. As waves of pleasure cascade through her body, Kate holds on the best she can. Suddenly Drake grimaces in pain as his knee connects with the drier with a bang, “Ow!

Kate's face falls into an expression of concern and sympathy, she giggles at him, “Ow is right, are you ok?”

“Occupational hazard, but I'll live.” Drake says, giving her a pained expression as he steps backward a bit and brings Kate with him. “Now where were we?”

Giving his hair a tug, Kate pulls his face down to hers again for a kiss, toying with his bottom lip with her tongue. “You were working on tumbling a big load in my drier.”

Drake suppresses a laugh as he starts to buck his hips up against her again. “Oh you think you're funny, huh?”

Tipping her head back and closing her eyes, she gasps and then moans, “Mhmm, I'm just full of puns, they just roll off my tongue.”

Drake grunts as he feels the tightening in his cock and balls intensify, “Oh you're definitely full of something right now that starts with p..” his breath quickening, as he places emphasis on the last syllable of his sentence.

Kate giggles, “Good one honey.”

Shaking his head, Drake closes his eyes again, moving with increased determination. “I'll give you a good one alright, just give me a second or two..”

As ripples of pleasure radiate through her lower belly, and shoot down into her thighs, Kate clutches tightly to his shoulders as his whole body tenses and then shudders. He buries his face into her hair, wrapping his arms around her as they both relax into each other’s embrace.

Kate rests her forehead on his shoulder, her hands stroking up and down his back.. “Drake honey, what do you think the chances are that my Mom and Carol didn't hear all of that?”

With a soft chuckle, Drake kisses Kate on the forehead and then helps her down to the floor. “I think the chances are pretty slim. We weren't exactly quiet.”

To be continued..

#wacky drabbles #long post #drake walker #drake and kate #trr drake #trh fanfic

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kittybennett · 4 years

Text

your choice | anti-soulmate au where they weren't born with soul-mates and they meet in a group where other people who don't have them meet-up. and they come to the conclusion that they're not weirdos for not having them. cause they have the group and each other jhskfjksdf - @malcolmbrights

ok i’m sorry this turned REALLY long but here we go.

aka: five times ev didn’t go to support group and one time she did

Evelyn Reyes spends much of her sixteenth year of life staring into reflective surfaces in the vain hope that she will find a soulmark has bloomed on her skin while she wasn’t looking. Most people are born within them, though it isn’t entirely unheard of for the matching tattoos to make themselves known in the years between childhood and adolescence. A teenager already, Evelyn is a rarity, late even by the most generous of time frames, and this makes her a repository for her peers’ pity. She takes to wearing long sleeves even in the sweltering heat of summer to avoid questions, but finds that it’s all people want to talk to her about. No matter how they phrase their comforting platitudes or prying questions, it all sounds the same to her.

Are you scared that you might be utterly alone? How relieved I am that it’s you and not me.

Evelyn hates them all, but most of all she hates the guidance counselor who calls her into her office to offer ‘support’ and gives Evelyn a flyer for a group of people with deceased soulmates. It’s not the same, the counselor explains, but those in the group might understand what Evelyn is going through. They can sympathize on how horrible it is to not have a soulmate.

Her cheeks burn hot. She shoves the flyer into the pocket of her hoodie and begs to be excused. On her way home she tears the flyer into little pieces and throws it over a bridge, watching the pieces of paper flutter and land on the river below while angry, shameful tears prick at her eyes.

After that, she stops checking her body for new marks.

ii. The first man that Evelyn loves also takes pains to keep covered up. Unlike Evelyn, he actually has something to hide: a bright blue tattoo of a bird in flight. The space where it adorns his forearm is usually bandaged lest Jamie’s eager admirers find a way to replicate it and render the mark useless.

When they lie together at night, Evelyn traces the mark. It’s the closest she’s ever been to one that didn’t belong to either of her parents, and even at a young age she knew not to ask questions about theirs.

“They weren’t soulmates.” Evelyn tells her lover one night. “His died when they were little — childhood sweethearts. And my mom has never talked about hers, but I know he’s gone too. She wouldn’t have married my father or had me if she thought he was still out there.”

What she doesn’t confess hangs in the air. Jamie addresses it anyway.

“You know that’s not the reason you’re like this, right?”

Evelyn is silent but the finger that was tracing his mark stills.

“Evelyn. It’s just bad luck. Seriously.” He tilts her face so he can stare into her eyes. Jamie is rarely serious, so this sudden sobriety makes it difficult for Evelyn to hold his gaze, but she does. “Bad things happen to lots of people, and it’s not the end of the world. My cousin is widowed, and he remarried and—“

Before he can finish his story, Evelyn kisses him. And kisses him. Her distraction works.

That night Evelyn prays for the first time in well over a decade: asking for a blue bird on her forearm. ( She breaks up with Jamie a week later. Better to get out with her heart mostly intact. She never does find out what happened to that cousin of his, though sometimes she wonders if she should have let Jamie finish. )

iii.

“Would it kill you to write something happy for once? Just one ballad about summer love, or getting dicked down?”

Evelyn frowns. “You know I’m not the bubblegum pop type.”

“That’s for sure.” Her producer sighs. “Listen, you’re good. But can’t you just write a love song that isn’t super … intense and depressing? Give us something fun and light-hearted for once.”

“What if I haven’t felt that?”

“Then pretend, or talk to someone who has.” The producer fixes her with a look between pity and sternness. “Seriously, Evie. Don’t come back here without a love song. And get a therapist.”

Evelyn returns in a week with a song about the thrill of a first glance and the intense flush of devotion that follows it. The song spends several weeks on the charts and goes viral after someone creates a Tik Tok dance for it, though none of that matters to sole inspiration for the song: Evelyn’s new cat.

iv.

Her second-ever happy love song is not as commercially successful, but it is inspired by a human being this time. Naomi is brilliant, and funny, and the most talented actress of her generation (according to a Vanity Fair correspondent but Evelyn is inclined to agree). The first time she refers to Evelyn as “the love of my life”, Evelyn spends the better part of a week repeating the moment in her mind.

Naomi really should have thought to mention the caveat.

Three years later, Evelyn laughs at something a precocious child on a television program says and asks, “What would you do if your child asked you that?”

Naomi shakes her head. “Pour myself some scotch and direct them towards their other mom, or dad.”

Evelyn is frozen.

Other mom or dad. Not you. Not the love of her life. Because Evelyn is only the love of Naomi’s life … for now.

Evelyn turns off the television program. “You don’t think we’ll raise children together?”

Naomi looks sheepish. To her credit, she picks her words more carefully this time. “Evelyn … be realistic. I love you so much but - someday I’m going to meet the real thing. You can’t ask me to say no to them for you.”

Evelyn feels the same hot shame she did when she was sixteen and finally accepting that she had no soulmate and never would. This time she won’t cry, not in front of Naomi. “I’m a person. Not your training wheels.”

She moves out the next day.

Dating apps aren’t much different, as it turns out. She has way too many messages from people who assume that being bisexual means she wants nothing more than to fulfill the threesome fantasies of heterosexual couples, and even more messages from people who think that because she is “unmarked”, she isn’t looking for anything serious. To be unmarked is to be written off entirely as a romantic partner, or at least as a serious one.

She deletes the dating app, but not before she posts a screenshot of her DMs to her Instagram with a caption finally addressing the rumors that she is unmarked.

I've always been private regarding the subject, but I owe it to anyone else like me to be more candid about my experiences as someone without a soulmark. Yes — I am unmarked, but not unworthy.

That night she’s flooded with messages from others like her, who thank her and repost her message. It’s humbling and uplifting all at once and Evelyn is guilty that she didn’t do it sooner. She responds to as many as she possibly can.

( One message stands out among the rest:

@ teorror: hey @reyevie - if you’re in nyc, my support group would love to have you! we meet at [ …. ] )

vi.

In the end, it’s not another rejection or loneliness or even solidarity that leads Evelyn to finally try talking to others like her.

It’s pettiness, and a lot of annoyance.

A former classmate posts a soulmate announcement on Facebook in which the caption describes meeting her soulmate for the first time as the single most important day of anyone’s life, the center of the human experience.

It makes Evelyn grit her teeth.

She is indignant that anyone would not consider the pain and feelings of inadequacy those words might cause for unmarked youth like the ones she’s received messages from, or her younger self. And she realizes with a pang of regret: it’s not just social media, or dating apps. It’s also the songs that people like Evelyn have written, the films and books that saturate the market that convince everyone that no other kind of love or measure of happiness matters when compared to romantic love.

As much as Evelyn craves it, she refuses to accept that it should overshadow every other aspect of her life.

She scrolls through her messages until she finds the one from @teorror again, inviting her to join his group and decides to show up and prove her point, even if she’s the only one who knows it.

To her initial horror, the group is small. There are only three people there, and Evelyn is just about ready to turn on her heel and walk away rather than join such an intimate gathering when a man bolts from his chair with an overjoyed expression on his face.

“Hey! You actually came!” He goes to her, and offers his hand to be shaked. “Can I call you Ev? Guys! This is Ev! The singer I was telling you guys about? Come on, sit down.”

The man she’s guessing is Teorror (Teo, she’ll later learn) guides her towards the others and the other man produces a chair for her and introduces himself as Rico.

Mercifully, they don’t ask her to introduce herself first or talk first. The woman next to her (Claudia) does, then Rico and Teo. Eventually they all turn to Evelyn.

“You don’t have to share if you’re not ready, Ev.” Claudia says, adopting Teo’s nickname for Evelyn. “The first time can be overwhelming.”

Ev nods, but feels she should try anyway. “I’m Evelyn — and as I guess you’ve figured, I’m also an unmarked.”

Immediately, a shadow crosses over the faces of the others. Evelyn stops.

“We try not to use that word.” Rico says gently and Evelyn can tell he’s taking care to not embarrass her. “It isn’t good to define ourselves by what we don’t have, rather than what we do.”

“Tell us about you. Teo says you’re a singer?” Claudia coaxes helpfully.

Teo offers Evelyn another wide smile. “I used to call myself leftovers. Or spare parts. I thought it was really funny, you know? But they’re right: focusing on what you lack just sets you up for more pain.”

It’s something to think about. She’s back for the session next week.

As the months go by, she sees the group outside of meetings too, starting with a potluck at Teo’s and leading to drinks and mechanical bull rides with Rico, or sightseeing with Claudia. At first she wonders what it might be like to share a soulmark with one of them … to find a soulmate after all … but eventually, she nearly stops thinking of the marks altogether.

Those fantasies end entirely after another night of dancing, as they’re having greasy fast food and Teo slings his arm around her as he tells a story that requires exaggerated facial expressions and wild hand gestures. She laughs and almost misses the moment where Claudia returns to the table with her order and slides her a crispy taco (Ev’s favorite) and Rico picks at the tomato (which Ev’s hates) and places it beside his own burger so that Evelyn won’t have to. They know her well, she realizes, better than anyone. They love her better than anyone …and suddenly Evelyn feels overwhelmed with her love for them in return.

Here is the intimacy she’s been craving her whole life: a love that doesn’t ask her to define herself by it, or insist upon its sole importance. It simply accepts, and gives.

Evelyn can only wonder why she ever thought this wouldn’t be enough.

#long post for ts #bc i dont remember if readmores show up on mobile #evelyn reyes*#tag later #mw*

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dreamofasupernaturalchamber · 3 years

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Dabb's Dream of a Red Chamber: Death's Library (Bo Ming Si) and Dean as Qin Keqing

I've seen a lot of SPN meta on this website, and in typical fashion, I'm YEARS late to the game. But I think there are some things that can only be understood in retrospect, and SPN's structure is one of them. What I'm trying to say is this: when Dabb took over, he turned Supernatural, a Western show about saving people and hunting things, into Dream of a Red Mansion, a Chinese literary classic about inter and intra family conflicts, class conflicts, political conflicts, and above all-- women.

Yes, I know how absurd this sounds. Why on earth would Dabb do that? My guess: because there is no surpassing Dream of a Red Chamber when it comes to metafiction-- the answer to the question "why metafiction?" will probably devolve into speculation about the network, so I won't get into it now.

What really tipped me off was that scene in 13x05, where Dean tries to commit suicide, but ends up Death's library instead. Some necessary background info: there is a scene in the first few chapters of Dream of the Red Chambers where Baoyu takes a nap in Qin Keqing's room (which is scandalous in its own right) and is transported to Taixu Huanjing, a dream world of goddesses in another dimension. The English translation? Taixu = The Void (note how this corresponds to the Empty, which makes its first appearance in 13x04), Huanjing = Dream World. Baoyu comes upon Jinghuan Xianzi, the goddess in charge of this world, who then takes him into a library called Bo Ming Si-- the Office of Unlucky Women-- and shows him books containing the fates of all the women in his family.

Does this sound familiar? Because it should. Here's a screenshot of Bo Ming Si from the 2010 adaptation:

A screenshot of Jinghuan Xianzi leading Baoyu through Bo Ming SI:

A screenshot of how the books are kept:

Now let's take a look at Death's library (pics from Superwiki):

Look at how the books are stacked in both shows. The reason they're stacked horizontally in Dream of a Red Chamber is that Chinese books tend to be very soft. The reason they're stacked horizontally in SPN is???

But that's just a coincidence, you might say. But Dabb doesn't just stop there. He borrows symbols, motifs, character relationships, family conflicts, and more from Dream of a Red Chamber-- he even borrows the structure. I'll talk about the structure and the motifs in another post-- today I'm here to talk about Dean.

Readers familiar with Dream of a Red Chamber might ask at this point-- is Dean Baoyu? No. (I'll talk about Cas, Jack, and Baoyu in a separate post.) So who is Dean?

Billie tells Dean that "every notebook on this particular shelf tells a version of how [he] die[s]." Let's see what Jinghuan Xianzi tells Baoyu-- he's shown three volumes titled "The Twelve Beauties of Jinling." The main volume records the ladies of his household, the second volume records the concubines, and the last volume records the maids.

Dean gets multiple notebooks because he's a combination of multiple characters from the first volume-- he starts off as Qin Keqing, who has multiple identities in the book, despite dying within the first thirteen chapters. Who is Qin Keqing? She is:

- the younger sister of Jinghuan Xianzi.

- the one who teaches Baoyu the matters of love in the dream world. She is his sexual awakening, and even though she doesn't do anything more scandalous than let Baoyu sleep on her bed in the human world, her brother is Baoyu's introduction to gay sex.

- the wife of the first and only son of the legal wife of the older branch of the Jia family. In other words, she's the wife of the future head of the household.

- there are theories that she may be the daughter of a prince who lost power, but I doubt those count for much here.

- she "dies from illness" but according to the "The Twelve Beauties of Jinling," she hangs herself after everyone learns that her father-in-law raped her.

- her death signals the beginning of the end of the four major families; her funeral is far too lavish, as is her coffin (it's made from wood that was originally reserved for a prince's funeral), and it's hinted that this is the beginning of the end of the Jia family, because they've reached above their station.

Now let's see how this matches up with Dean. We know that he:

- has played the reaper and has a special connection with Death.

- teaches Jack about romantic love in 14x06.

- is the head of the household.

- is possessed by Michael at the end of S13, an experience that's coded as rape, and is suicidal for most of S14 as a result. He then brings back a special coffin, which later causes Jack to lose control, which marks the beginning of the end for the Winchesters. Of course, the coffin scene references other media too. Angel comes to mind.

Now let's talk about Qin Keqing's best friend, Wang Xifeng. I'm not implying that Dean is anything like Wang Xifeng (although a case can be made that her panci might have influenced Dean and Cas's storyline, but that's a separate post). I bring up Wang Xifeng purely because I want to compare Dean to Lady Wang, Wang Xifeng's aunt and Baoyu's mother. If you're a Dean stan who's read Dream of the Red Chambers, you're probably livid right now. But think of it this way-- Lady Wang is a victim of patriarchal feudalism, and while Dean isn't a woman living under this sort of oppression, Dabb alludes to a similar power structure, and there's a reason why there are so many posts comparing Dean to the Eldest Daughter.

Late season SPN is where Dabb explores female-centric themes in a male centric show. Yes, I find this absurd too, but that's the choice he made. It's why Amara exists. It's why he brought back Mary. It's why S12-15 is extremely domestic. And it's why he covers a range of female experiences through Dean.

Let me go back to Qin Keqing. If she hadn't died, she would have been in charge of running the household, and she would have done an excellent job. But would she have been happy?

No.

The only other woman who matches Qin Keqing's talents is Wang Xifeng, and she dies relatively young. If she'd lived-- would she have turned into her aunt? Lady Wang is described as "wooden," but we know from Grandma Liu that before she married into the Jia family, she had a fiery personality, just like Wang Xifeng. Marriage turned her bitter. Indeed, Baoyu remarked that marriage turned women from pearls into dead fish eyes. And even though Dean isn't married, the role he plays in his family and his conflicts with Cas (and his resulting dislike of Jack) are very similar to the problems the legal wife of a wealthy man in ancient China would face. Or rather-- they're very similar to the problems the wife of a wealthy man/noblesman in a patriarchal feudalistic society would face. He probably would have identified with Catelyn Stark in GOT.

I'll probably write another post exploring how Red Chamber influenced the intra family conflicts in SPN, but before I do that, I want to talk about one more thing: Qin Keqing's nickname is Jian Mei, which means Both Beauties; she's considered to share both Daiyu and Baochai's beauty. Am I saying that there are shades of both Daiyu and Baochai in Dean's late season characterization? Yes. Dabb leans toward Daiyu = Dean and Baochai = Sam, although he plays with Baochai = Eileen too. Let me give you the shorthand for what these women stand for.

Daiyu = rebellious, bucks societal conventions, dies from a broken heart when Baoyu is tricked into marrying Baochai.

Baochai = obedient, adheres to societal conventions and thus the patriarchy, marries Baoyu but is then cast away because Baoyu decides to become a monk.

Tomorrow, I'll go into greater detail on how Baoyu, Daiyu, and Baochai appear through Cas, Dean, Sam, Jack, and Eileen, and how these choices tie into the finale.

#spn meta #dean winchester

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colour-outside-the-liness · 3 years

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Oh you're fine really! Don't worry about talking too much, I don't think you'll see anyone here complaining about that haha. Yeah your roommates boyfriend being a virgo definitely means something hahaha they're totally party poopers 😂

Ah I see, astrology tries to explain that too y'know, the shadow side of star signs and how they manifest in people but I feel that's kinda unfair and it puts the blame on something else rather the actual person who hurt you. And it's completely understandable you put your guard up with water signs and you're not the only one.

Omg that's so cool! Are you excited to be a god mother? Tell her to hold on till the 20th of January so the baby will be an aquarius and not a capricorn! 😂

I absolutely love a good saggitarius x gemini bond, damn I wish I wasn't such a mess when I was living in Canada. Canadian roommate and I could've become friends at least. One time I told her she looked pretty when she was about to go out to a party and she was like all cute and said thank you and was blushing haha. And then next time we bumped into each other she tried to ask me out to go watch that Elton John movie with her but I had work that day and had a crazy schedule at the time so we never got to hang out much. And then the cherry on the cake was when she was talking about her new schedule for uni and how it would match mine finally and just casually said "you and I will be waking up together next semester" and I was just like 😦🥵🥴 *gay panic* uuuh okaaay and nervous laughed then just carried on with the conversation. She even had a cheeky grin on her face when she said that but I was like naaah I completly misread that, English's not my 1st language so... I must've interpetred that wrong. HAHAHA idk man I'm really clueless with this stuff.

Ah well I'm glad a lot of that made sense to you. And I'm happy to help. So your rising and venus are in gemini, what's the 3rd planet you have in gemini? I think we’ve already covered your taurus sun and moon. And then you probably have uranus and neptune in capricorn and scorpio in pluto bc that's a generation thing or did I totally miss the mark?

What do people call you here? I'm kinda new but haven't seen people referring to you by name before. Can I call you Colour? It's kinda cool name, what do you think? 😆 I'm Libby btw or astrology anon haha don't really use my account on here just really like your AUs and got here bc you mentioned on your fic notes you did updates and discussions on your Tumblr.

Haha that's okay then as long as no one complains about it I'm fine!! Yeah he's such a party pooper so if that's a virgo trait it fits him perfectly haha Yeah I hate when people try and blame their sign for the shitty things they do when in reality sometimes people just to shitty things and she definitely did a lot of shitty things. Yeah I definitely have my guard up around them now but I am trying to fix that and not focus too much on people's signs I can't wait to be a god mother honestly I am so excited and so happy that they trust me in that way and think I'll be a good option!! The baby would be very late if she held on that long but I will tell her for you haha 😂 Awwh you guys could've been so good together it's a shame it didn't happen but I always so everything happens for a reason whether we figure out what that reason is or not!! Nah I don't think you're clueless I wouldn't have known how to take that anyway and English is my first language but I would've gone into a gay panic too haha I have had experiences like that where I haven't known what to do and I have just been a mess!! I think she was definitely flirting with you though!! Yeah rising and Venus are Gemini... so is Mercury Yes, Uranus and Neptune are in fact Capricorn so good guess there And Scorpio is Pluto and Jupiter so I have a lot of repeats with my chart but I am fine with it haha I really don't know what these things mean though People here call me a lot of things and honestly I am fine with all of them, I get called Colour/ Colours, I get called Smut Queen, I've been called Real Life Dani and Ms Clayton before... but you can really call me anything you like though!! Hello Libby- Astronomy Anon it's nice to meet you!! Thank you for saying you like my AUs that really means a lot to me!! And yeah this Tumblr is for updates of my fics or for people to send me prompts or just about anything they want really I'm fine with anything haha this blog is just full and random stuff at this point and I love it!! Thank you for finding me on Tumblr and for sending me all this stuff about astronomy I think it's really fun and interesting!! ☺️

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