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chumpmagump · 4 years

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27/08/2020

I dont really know what to say. I’m forcing myself to write something because I think if i leave it inside it will become something uglier. I really should be taking my own advice that i give clients, so here i am today trying. I have been stupidly irritated and moody by things at work the past week. I dont know if its compassion fatigue, i dont think it is because I was on the verge of tears at work yesterday after hearing two horrible things from clients. I think it could be my birth control, im on a new one and it lasts 3 months so i cant really do anything about it until the 3 months are up but hope that it starts to work for me without making a mega bitch. Today is going to be horrible because the first YP TOgraduate from rehab is being arrested and sent back to prison for another matter that i think doesnt deserve jail time atleast not to the extent of 12 months min. I’m devastated, i dont know how i will be able to wish them today knowing police are going to come to the door at any time during the graduation. Theres more to it that i cant get into for confidentiality reasons, but i’m angry at the legal system. Young people are so fucking vulnerable, especially those native to our country. And then another client is dealing with a lot of grief today. Its just not a great time at work. I’m heavily behind on counselling notes, and today i was going to take that time to do that but i dont feel comfortable leaving them at the centre today. Personal life is okay i guess? I havnt been seeing any friends. I havnt really wanted to. One of them i know has strong feelings for me and i just dont have the heart to tell him i dont think there is something there. After we went to the zoo on the weekend, I just knew i didnt feel anything really. All my othr friends, some of them are great and I would hang out with them in a heartbeat, but thats only a few that i know i would have energy for. Theres one particular friend i know i just need to cut off and ive been distant consistently, but shes still there. I know i just need the guts to say hey, you talk too much in convrsation and i dont have the fucking energy to listen to you 80% of our interaction because thats not a friendship. I think the mains i want in my life are -Malory -Cara -Phoebe -Andres -Matt -Shermin -Kosta if he can actually not be a dick - Courtney

the rest i probably need to improve my relationship with or fuck them off instead ofjust saying ‘‘ lets hang out tomorrow im tired today sorry’ like its not good enough from me. im sick of being a flake. I’ve made things clear with sam in terms of my boundaries and what i need from our interactions. He has stepped up significantly, which is strange and surprising. I dont really know whats changed in him, i guess the realisation I am a worthy person in his life. I’m still very very hypervigilant of him fucking up, i have to watch myself in not getting attached to the idea this will be consistent for him. he still hasnt fucked off the girl he slept with in the first place the night i was in deep trouble. I have not been taking care of myself the proper way. Probably because when i get home im fucking exhausted, I need a better way to cope with work because its spilling onto other areas of my life that ive forgotten i should be focused and entitled to. Like meditation i was doing everyday for weeks there, and i was doing stretching. Both things I have fucked off for no reason other than i am cold and tired and moody. I am getting braces in 4 weeks. Terrified. Still dont know clear aligners or ceramic. I am so fucking indecisive i hate myself and so does my ortho probably lol. i’m scared to even check my emails because i sent him a question that im worried will piss him off because ive been asking a lot of questions, and maybe he will just crack and tell me to fuck off which i know is highly unlikely i am just terrified. Ah yes, iron pills. something i need to actually get to improve my fatigue as well. Sex wise i am definitely more horny, which is great because that was like rarity for me. I think i have realised i need an emotional connection with the perosn and i need to be properly attracted to them, like not just a little but very much so. Funny, my best friend from high school hit on me last night. She is beautiful and I’ve always thought about that possibility but she would be so experienced being with girls and i have 0 experience lmao. All my exes have been jealous of her because they think im gonna go and be with her just because ive said i have found her attractive in the past. I think i have been having sex with the focus on the guy because i like them to have a good experience and i find that hot, But then physically like im not getting to finish because all my focus is on that yknow. okay ive started thinking about work again and how fucking devatsted i am for my client. Seriously, i just want to cry and scream and scream some more. I havnt been this affected by client situation in a long time. Maybe this afternoon i will go for a walk around the roos and listen to some songs in his legacy. Sigh. This was a messy post and really has no point and no grammar but i needed to write it

#2020 #27/08/20 #personal #social work #friendships #self care

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undertheinfluencerd · 3 years

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https://ift.tt/3BL1d4n #

Besides the four theatrical American Pie movies, the franchise also spawned a number of spinoffs, and a few past characters returned for them. Every decade has its iconic teen-centered movies, often focusing on the ups and downs of the high school experience, the struggle with puberty and growing into adulthood, and of course the quest to become successful with one’s preferred type of romantic partner. In the 1990s, the arguable king of teen movies was American Pie, which is a bit ironic, since it arrived at the tail end of the decade in 1999.

While American Pie drew a lot of its initial attention due to the amount of swearing, crass humor, and sexual content included within its running time, many moviegoers eventually came to realize that there was more under the surface. The major characters were mostly likable and easy to root for, they often had to overcome relatable young adult problems, and there was a surprising amount of heart to be found when pies weren’t being made love to.

Related: American Pie 5’s Best Story Would Be A Reboot With The Original Cast’s Kids

An enormous hit, making $235 million on an $11 million budget, American Pie naturally spawned a movie franchise, albeit one where few would argue the original was ever in danger of being topped. Still, the theatrical sequels at least had the benefit of most of the original American Pie cast and characters continuing to return, making fans feel comfortable and at home. The direct-to-video spinoff movies didn’t generally have that luxury, although there were a few cases of characters from the main series crossing over.

Noah Levenstein, more commonly referred to as just Jim’s dad, is played by prolific comic actor Eugene Levy, and has appeared in some fashion in nearly every single American Pie spinoff released to date. He only didn’t return for American Pie Presents: Girls’ Rules. For those keeping score, that means Jim’s dad returned for Band Camp, The Naked Mile, Beta House, and The Book of Love, nearly always in some type of authority figure role.

Played by Chris Owen, Chuck “The Sherminator” Sherman spent the original movie falsely bragging about his prowess with the ladies, only to get found out. By American Pie 2 though, Sherman had reversed his fortunes in that department, and by American Reunion, he was a divorced father. Sherman appeared in the American Pie Presents Band Camp spinoff, working as the guidance counselor at East Great Falls High.

Of the three original American Pie movie characters to return for the spinoffs, Matt Stifler holds the distinction of being the only one to change actors along the way. Eli Marenthal, who also voiced Hogarth in The Iron Giant in the same year, played Steve Stifler’s younger brother in the first two American Pie movies. Tad Hilgenbrink took over as Matt Stifler for American Pie Presents Band Camp, the leading role in the film. In Band Camp, Matt gets sent to the titular location by guidance counselor Sherman.

More: Austin Powers: Every James Bond Character Parody Explained

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The post Every American Pie Character Who Returned For The Spin-Offs appeared first on undertheinfluencerd.net.

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bamby0304 · 7 years

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The Hart: Chapter One

Summary: When Lizzie was just a few months old, she lost her father. Fifteen years later she lost her mother, and then her sister. Now in her early twenties Lizzie spends her days and nights hunting things and saving people. When the Winchesters meet the bright eyed and bubbly blonde they don’t realise what they’re in for… and neither does she…

Part Eleven: Hoodoo and Dolls

Masterlist

Warnings: Violence and death

Bamby

EPOV

"Now you stick with the boys, no matter what. You hear me?"

I was on the phone to Ellen after she'd spoken to Sam. I guess since I hadn't spoken to her in months, she was tired of waiting and ordered him to hand the phone over to me. Like I said before, she's practically a mum to me, so it's not like I could say no to her.

"Yes, Ellen."

"And if you need a place to go, if you have to leave them, you go straight to Bobby's. He'll take care of you."

"He always has." I nodded. "I know the drill, Ellen. Brush my teeth every day, remember to eat some kind of leafy green, and kill all the monsters. I've heard it all before." the door to the hotel room opened as Dean walked in. "Look, I gotta go, I'll talk to you later." I told her before hanging up.

"Ellen?" Dean asked as he dumped some of the food he was carrying over by Sam at the table.

"Yeah." Sam nodded. "She's got nothing. Me, I've been checking every database I can think of. Federal, state and local. No one's heard anything about Ava."

"And I've called all my trustworthy contacts, without telling them where we are, and making sure the conversations are short." I assured them. The last thing we needed was more hunters on our trail. "They've got nothing."

"What about you?" Sam asked him.

Dean shook his head, handing Sam a coffee. "No. Same as before. Sorry, man."

"Yeah." Sam sighed. "Ellen did have one thing. A hotel in Cornwall, Connecticut. Two freak accidents in the past three weeks."

"Yeah, what's that have to do with Ava?" Dean asked as he came over to me, handing over a coffee while keeping one for himself.

"It's a job." Sam answered. "I mean, a lady drowned in the bathtub. And then a few days ago, a guy falls down the stairs, head turned a complete 180. Which isn't exactly normal, you know? Look, I don't know, Dean, it might be nothing, but I told Ellen we'd think about checking it out."

"You did?" Dean sounded surprised as he placed his coffee on the night stand and tugged off his leather jacket.

"Yeah." Sam nodded. "You seem surprised."

Dean shrugged, sitting himself down on the bed. "Well, yeah, it's just, you know, not the patented Sam Winchester way, is it?"

"What way is that?"

"Just figured after Ava there'd be, you know, more angst and droopy music and staring out the rainy windows." Dean looked to Sam and stopped. "Yeah, I'll shut up now." he leaned back against the head board so he was next to me.

I grinned. "Dean, Sam wasn't in love with her. He's just worried. She was engaged, remember?"

Sam nodded. "And I'm the one who told her to go back home." he stood and moved to his own bed. "Now her fiancé is dead and some demon has taken her off to God knows where. You know? We've been looking for a month now and we got nothing. So I'm not giving up on her but I'm not gonna let other people die either. We gotta save as many people as we can."

"Wow." Dean shook his head. "That attitude is just way too healthy for me. I'm officially uncomfortable now, thank you."

I slapped Dean's shoulder. "Do you always have to be such a dick?"

He just grinned at me before looking to Sam again. "Call Ellen, tell her we'll take it."

"Cool." Sam nodded as he stood and pulled out his phone, moving back to the table and his computer.

Dean leaned closer to me, speaking lowly. "Are you sleeping on the couch tonight, or is there a reason why you're sitting on my bed?"

"I just can't help myself, Dean." I purred. "All these months, and I'm afraid I won't be able to keep my hands off you for much longer."

His grin widened. "You know, you're gonna be the death of me."

"I haven't even started yet." I winked before getting up and moving over to the couch.

DPOV

"Dude, this is sweet." I looked up at the large, old hotel as we got out of the car. "We never get to work jobs like this."

"Like what?" Sam asked as he got his bag out of the back.

"Old school haunted houses, you know? Fog, secret passageways, sissy British accents." I moved to the other back door as Liz got out and handed me my bag. "Thanks."

"No problem." she smiled before turning to the building. "I gotta admit, I'm pretty excited as well."

"You get excited about every job." Sam noted.

"Guilty." she beamed, starting for the front door of the hotel. Sam and I were right behind her.

"We might even run into Fred and Daphne while we're inside." I joked, remembering that I'd called Liz Daphne a couple of months ago. My eyes fell on her as I hummed a little. "Daphne, love her."

"I can feel your eyes, Winchester." Liz reached the top step and turned to me. "Keep them up here." she gestured to her face.

I hurried up the steps to meet her, grinning. "If that's what you want." my eyes fell to her lips.

We'd been dancing like this for a while now. Flirting shamelessly. Teasing one another. The few kisses on the cheek she'd given me were torture.

I liked the girl. She liked me, I knew it. Neither of us were the settling down types, but casual sex was always on the table with me. Being on the road, always going from place to place. The idea of having no restrictions and no strings with her. It entertained my thoughts more than once... a day.

"Hey, come check this out."

We both turned to Sam as he looked at an old pot for a dying plant.

"I'm not so sure haunted's the problem." he stepped closer to whatever had his attention.

"What do you mean?" I asked, as Liz and I walked down to see what he was looking at.

"You see this pattern here?" he pointed to a little cross on the pot. "That's a quincunx. It's a five-spot."

"Five-spot?" I'd heard of those. "That's used for Hoodoo spell work, right?"

"Right." Sam nodded. "You fill this thing with blood weed, you got a powerful charm to ward off enemies."

"Yeah, but there isn't any blood weed anywhere." Liz noted.

I turned to look at the building again. "Don't you think this place is a little too, uh, white meat for Hoodoo?"

Sam shrugged. "Maybe."

EPOV

We walked into the foyer of the hotel and stepped up to the reception desk as a woman walked into the room, a welcoming smile on her face.

"May I help you?" she asked.

I smiled back at her. "Hi. We'd like a room for a couple of nights, please."

Before I could say anymore, a girl ran out from another room, nearly bumping into Sam as she hurried down the hall.

"Hey!" the woman called after her. But the girl was already gone. "Sorry about that." she apologized to Sam.

He gave a short nod. "No problem."

Turning back to me, the woman smiled again. "Well, congratulations. You could be some of our final guests."

Dean chuckled lightly. "That sounds vaguely ominous."

"Uh, no. I'm sorry." she quickly corrected herself. "I mean, we're closing at the end of the month." she looked to each other us then. "Let me guess. You're here antiquing?" she asked, looking to the brothers oddly.

Dean smiled at her charmingly. "How'd you know?"

"You just look the type." she shrugged, turning to grab a key. "So a king for the gentlemen and a single for the lady?" she asked.

We all tensed. I had to hold back a laugh. She thought the guys were gay.

"What? No." Sam shook his head. "No. No. We're brothers."

Dean's smile fell. "Yeah."

The woman looked completely shocked and embarrassed. "Oh, I'm sorry."

I laughed lightly. "Don't worry, it happens a lot." I lied, trying to lessen her embarrassment. Gesturing to Sam, I smiled at the woman. "This is my boyfriend and his brother. We're travelling the country, looking for unique pieces for a shop my mum owns."

"Speaking of antiques," Sam started, "you have a really interesting urn on the front porch. Where'd you get that?"

"I have no idea. It's been there forever." the woman answered, a little more relaxed now that the subject had been changed. Turning back to the credit card I'd given her, she smiled again. "Here you go, Miss Mahoggoff." she handed the card back before ringing a bell. "You'll be staying in Room 237."

"Okay." I nodded, taking the room key from her. "Thank you."

"Shermin, could you show these gentleman and lovely lady to their room?" she asked, looking over my shoulder.

I turned to the old man heading our way, nodding at the woman's request. "Let me guess." he looked to Dean and Sam. "Antiquers?"

This time I couldn't help but chuckle lightly.

Sherwin dragged Dean's bag along the ground, 'carrying' it as he showed us to our room. My hand was laced through Sam's as we walked, a smile on our faces as we pretended to be a sweet couple. Dean had taken one look at us, rolled his eyes and chose to walk beside the old man.

"I could give you a hand with that bag." he offered, gesturing to his bag.

"I got it." Sherwin insisted.

Looking up at Sam, my smile widened. "Thank you for carrying my bag for me, baby."

"No problem, sweetie." he was enjoying this as much as I was. Teasing Dean was so much fun.

Dean sighed, shaking his head as he changed the subject. "So the hotel's closing up, huh?"

"Yep." Sherwin nodded. "Miss Susan tried to make a go of it. But the guests just don't come like they used to. Still, it's a damn shame."

"Oh, yeah?" Sam asked.

"It may not look it anymore, but this place was a palace." Sherwin explained. "Two different vice-presidents laid their heads on our pillows. My parents worked here. I practically grew up here. I'm gonna miss it." he said as he came to a stop to unlock a door. "Here's your room."

Once the door was opened, I stepped forward and took the key, offering the man a smile. "Thank you so much." I nodded, walking in with Sam right behind me.

The room was just like the rest of the building. Old, and out dated. But I still found it charming. Though, mind you, I enjoyed things others usually didn't.

"You're not gonna cheap out on me, are you, boy?"

I turned to see Sherwin looking to Dean expectantly, waiting for his tip. Shaking my head, I reached into my pocket and pulled out some money, giving it to the old man- knowing that I gave him a little extra. "For the conversation."

He smiled back at me, nodding. "Thank you, ma'am. You have a lovely day."

"You, too." I told him before closing the door.

Dean was right behind me. As I turned, he backed me up against the door, looking down at me, speaking in hushed tones, his voice a little deeper than usual. "You're enjoying yourself, aren't you?"

"Immensely." I grinned, biting my lip which his eyes fell to. "You want something Winchester, you gotta tell me. A girl can't assume everything."

"Ah guys?"

Reluctantly, Dean pulled back as we both look to Sam. "What?" he asked his brother.

Sam looked around the room. "There's no couch..."

It was Dean's turn to grin as he turned back to me.

Well, crap...

DPOV

I chuckled as I looked up at an old wedding dress pinned to the wall as decoration. "What the...?"

Sam turned away from the paperwork. "What?"

I gestured to the dress. "That's normal. Why the hell would anyone stay here? I'm amazed they kept in business this long." shaking my head, I moved to the double sized bed, nearly melting into it, it was so soft.

Liz was sitting on the other side of it. She didn't even glance up as she continued to ignore me, focusing on the paper work in front of her. She hadn't been happy with the fact she had to share with one of us. Seeing how the beds were so small, and Sam was tall, it only made sense she shared with me.

"All right." Sam started. "Victim number one. Joan Edison, forty-three years old, a realtor. Handling the sale of the hotel."

"Vic two was Larry Williams." Liz added. "He was moving some stuff to Goodwill."

"There's a connection." I nodded. "They're both tied up in shutting the place down."

"Yeah. Maybe somebody here doesn't wanna leave." Sam shrugged. "And they're using Hoodoo to fight back."

"Who do you think our witch doctor is? The receptionist... Susan?"

Sam shook his head. "No, it doesn't seem likely."

"She's trying to sell the place." Liz noted.

"So, what then? Sherwin?" he seemed like the next possibility.

Sam didn't look too sure with the idea though. "I don't know."

"Of course, the most troubling question is, why do these people assume we're gay? I mean, we came in with a chick." I gestured to Liz.

"Well, you are kind of butch." Sam grinned. "They probably think you're overcompensating." Liz laughed at his words.

I turned to her. "You, don't say anything."

"Oh, come on." she grinned. "Now they think Sam and I are together, so there's nothing you have to worry about."

She knew I didn't like that. I hadn't minded when she pretended to be Sam's girlfriend during our first job together. But it was different now. With all the flirting we'd been doing, I didn't exactly like the idea of Sam getting that kind of attention from her as well. Plus, she kissed him during that first case... seeing that again was not an option.

SPOV

We were walking the halls, checking the place out, when I noticed something on the inside of one of the vases.

"Hey." I called to the others to get their attention. Lifting the vase, I showed them the cross that looked just like the one outside. "Look at that. More Hoodoo."

Dean pulled back and looked to the nearest door, seeing that it was marked 'private'. Stepping up to it, he lightly knocked before waiting. A moment later, Susan opened the door.

"Hi there." Dean nodded.

"Hi. Everything okay with your room?"

"Yeah. Yeah, everything's great." Dean assured her.

"Perfect." Lizzie added. "I love the dress on the wall. Reminds me of the one my grandmother wore to her wedding."

Susan smiled at her. "I'm glad you like the room. But I was just in the middle of packing, so..."

"Of course." Lizzie nodded, before she nodded to some dolls on a shelf in the room behind Susan. "I just, uh... are those antique dolls?"

"This one." Dean patted my shoulder. "This one he's got a major doll collection back home. It's actually how these two met." he gestured to me and Lizzie. "Isn't that right?"

I knew he was just getting back at us, and I also knew that if we wanted in the room, I now had to go with the story. "Yep, it's true."

Unlike me though, Lizzie jumped into the story with ease as she continued to smile as if she wasn't embarrassed at all. "It's funny really. I was looking for some dolls for my own collection, he was looking for some as well. We were at a little, hidden store in Texas. I reached for a doll and he reached for it at the same time. Since then, we've been inseparable." she leaned against me as she went on. "You know, it would make my day if we could come in and take a look."

She was good. I couldn't believe how she came up with that story so easily. The way she talked about it made it sound so real as well. There was no hint of lying in her words. She said them as if it all really happened.

Dean's mood went down a little once she started talking. He'd been trying to embarrass us, and seeing as he couldn't, he just seemed to give up a little. He knew she didn't care what he threw her way, she'd lie and go along with anything.

Susan looked a little unsure, but eventually nodded. "Okay, come on in."

"Thank you." Lizzie stepped forward and past Susan, heading over to the dolls as she lifted one up. "Oh, honey, doesn't this remind you of the one you got me for my birthday last year?"

I smiled at her, going along. "How could I forget?"

"This is a lot of dolls." Dean moved to the shelves piled with all various kinds of dolls. "And they're nice, you know, they're not super creepy at all."

Susan chuckled lightly. "I suppose they are a little creepy. But they've been in the family forever. Lot of sentimental value."

Looking around the room, I couldn't ignore the large doll house. "What is this?" I asked, stepping around to the open side at the back. "The hotel?"

"That's right." Susan nodded. "Exact replica, custom-built."

Lizzie came over, beaming. "Oh, my. Isn't it gorgeous? And look at all the details." she delicately ran her fingers over the fake grass.

Looking into it, I noticed a doll lying on the ground. I lifted it to show the others. "His head got twisted around. What happened to it?"

"Tyler, probably." Susan shrugged.

"Mummy!" speaking of which. Her daughter came rushing around the corner then. "Maggie's being mean."

Susan turned to her daughter. "Tyler, tell her I said to be nice, okay?"

"Hey, Tyler." I stepped out from behind the house, showing her the doll. "I see you broke your doll. You want me to fix it?"

"I didn't break it. I found it like that."

"Oh... maybe Maggie did it?" I suggested.

"No. Neither of us did it." she insisted. "Grandma would get mad if we broke them."

"Tyler, she wouldn't get mad." Susan brushed Tyler's hair back.

"Grandma?" Dean asked, interested. We hadn't heard about a grandma yet.

"Grandma Rose." Tyler explained. "These were all her toys."

"Really?" Lizzie came to stand by me. "You know, my middle name is Rose, and I love dolls too." she smiled at the little girl. "Where is Grandma Rose now?"

"Up in here room." Tyler answered.

I turned to Susan. "You know, I'd really love to talk to Rose about her incredible dolls."

Susan hardly waited for me to finish speaking before she answered. "No." relaxing a little, she went on. "I mean... I'm afraid that's impossible. My mother's been very sick and she'd not taking any visitors."

EPOV

Walking out of the room, Dean waiting until Sam closed the door before speaking. "What do you think? Dolls? Hoodoo? Mysterious shut-in Grandma?"

"Well, dolls are used in all kind of Voodoo and Hoodoo, like curses and binding spells." Sam noted as we all started towards our room.

"You think Rose might be the witch?" I asked, looking to each brother.

Dean shrugged. "Why don't we go see what we can dig up on Booming Granny?" he gestured to himself and me before pointing to Sam. "You get online, check old obits, freak accidents, that's sort of thing. See if she's whacked anybody before."

"Right." Sam nodded as we reached the room.

"Don't go surfing porn." Dean told him as before he could get in the room. "That's not the kind of whacking I mean."

I rolled my eyes as I followed him down the hall. "Do you have to be so crude?"

"You love it." he grinned at me.

Truth be told, his humour did entertain me. I could be the same when I wanted to be, but I enjoyed sticking up for Sam because it annoyed the hell out of Dean sometimes, and that was just as entertaining.

We walked through the halls, looking at all the photos on the walls and such, not speaking. We didn't have to speak all the time. There was a natural comfort in our silence. We got along great. We could joke and flirt and mess around with each other easily. I'd never had a friend like that before.

But with the flirting, came risk.

I liked Dean. If I was being honest, I really liked him. There wasn't much to fault on him, and all the negatives just made the positives so much better. So it was hard to set boundaries and stick to them.

After everything that had happened with Gordon a few years back. After trusting him, and sleeping with him, only to be turned into bait for the job... I'd sworn off hunters forever. I didn't trust any of them enough to put myself back in a position like that. A position that could get me killed.

Hell, with my life, I'd practically sworn off all types of relationships except the casual sex and one-night stand ones. As long as I was on the road, and hunting things, I wasn't settling down.

DPOV

We'd been looking around for a few hours, night had fallen when the next incident happened, giving us our third victim. Liz and I stood on the front steps of the hotel, watching as Susan spoke to an officer and the coroner placed a body in the back of their van.

"This doesn't look good." Liz muttered.

"Yeah, you could say that." I nodded, moving to step in Susan's way as she headed for the door to the hotel. "Hey, what happened?"

She stopped on the step before us. "Uh, the maid went in to turn down the sheets, and he was just hanging there."

"That's awful. He was a guest?" I asked.

"He worked for the company that brought the place." she explained.

Liz and I shared a look. Once again, the victim was involved in selling the place. The more we heard about the case, the more it seemed whatever was doing all the killings, didn't want to leave the hotel.

Susan shook her head. "I don't understand..."

I turned back to her. "What?"

"Had a lot of bad luck around here." she sighed. "Look, if you'd like to check out, I'll give you a full refund."

"No, thanks." I shook my head, offering a polite smile. "We don't scare that easy."

I turned into our room, pulling the key out of the lock before closing the door behind me as I headed for my bag. Liz was downstairs, talking to the maid to see if she saw anything out of the ordinary.

"There's been another one. Some guy hung himself in his room." I told Sam.

He on a chair in the middle of the room, just sitting there. But I didn't look to him. I had more pressing things to do. Like figure out what the hell was going on.

"Yeah. I saw."

"We gotta figure this out and fast. What'd you find out about Granny?"

"You're bossy."

What? I turned to him, confused. "What?"

"You're bossy." he shrugged as if it were obvious. "And short." he chuckled.

Oh, my God. "Are you drunk?"

"Yeah. So?" he shrugged again. "Stupid."

"Dude, what are you thinking? We're working a case."

But his smile fell then and he looked away. "That guy who hung himself. I couldn't save him."

"What are you talking about? You didn't know. You couldn't have done anything."

"That's an excuse, Dean. I should've found a way to save him. I should've saved Ava too."

"Yeah, well, you can't save everyone, even you said that." I reminded him, moving over to his chair.

He slammed his fist on the table next to him. "No, Dean! You don't understand, all right. The more people I save, the more I can change."

"Change what?" he wasn't making any sense.

"My destiny, Dean!"

"All right, time for bed. Come on, Sasquatch." I leaned over and grabbed his arm, helping him to his feet. "Come on."

"I need you to watch out for me."

"I always do." I assured him.

"No, no, no!" he pushed me away. "You have to watch out for me. All right? And if I ever turn into something that I'm not, you have to kill me."

I shook my head, reaching for him again. "Sam." this was getting on my nerves.

But he just pushed me away again. "Dean, dad told you to do it. You have to."

"Yeah? Well, dad's an ass. He never should've said anything. You don't do that. You don't lay that crap on your kids."

"No, he was right to say it." he insisted. "Who knows what I might become? Even now, everyone around me dies."

"Yeah, well, I'm not dying, okay? And neither are you." I grabbed him and turned him to his bed. "Come on, sit down." I placed him on the mattress.

"No, please, Dean, you're the only one who can do it." he grabbed my shirt, holding me there. "Promise. Dean, please."

"Don't ask that of me."

"You have to promise me."

The desperate and scared look in his eyes, the fact he wasn't letting it go... I sighed. "I promise."

He let out a breath then, as he nodded. "Thanks. Thank you." letting go of my shirt he grabbed my face.

Yeah, that was enough. "All right." I grabbed his hand and moved it from my face as I laid him down on the bed and pulled his legs up.

As I sat on the bed next to his I watched as he rolled over on to his stomach, hugging the pillow as he drifted off to sleep. He was a mess and I didn't know what I was supposed to do it fix or help him...

Running a hand over my face, I looked away, seeing Liz standing in the door way watching us.

Bamby

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chalmersr · 5 years

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Sushi and Spring Rolls

In the midst of all the angst and studying for the exams, we were taught the fine art of making sushi. I know there are many people who do not like the thought of eating raw fish, but there are lots of different forms of sushi, and it is so incredibly good for you!

It’s not easy if it’s really well made, but that’s because sushi is a true art form. Our teacher, Shermin Mustafa, worked in a restaurant in Australia where the wife of the owner was Japanese and made a sushi dish every day, which is where she first became interested in it. Thereafter, Shermin worked in a Japanese sushi restaurant and says she was not allowed to touch the sushi for ages – she chopped onions for three months and watched the Sushi Masters (or Itamea) at work. It takes at least eight years of complete dedication, devotion and mastery to become a Sushi Master and no-one is allowed to work with sushi in a proper sushi restaurant without such training. Shermin said when a true master made Nigiri sushi, all the strands of rice faced in the same direction – a skill undertaken with a particular movement of the hands!

Sushi is great fun if you are not too bothered about it being perfect. You can get a perfectly decent looking plate of sushi with a bamboo-rolling mat and a bit of practice. The nori seaweed that is part of many sushi rolls is apparently incredibly hard to make – teachers at the Ballymaloe Cookery School have been trying for some time without success. This despite the fact that there is loads of edible seaweed washing up on the shores of the sea around Ballymaloe, so that’s frustrating for the team. And you know the bits of pinkish pickled ginger you get with your sushi in restaurants? Well, it’s dyed. Of course, it makes perfect sense when you think about it for even a second – root ginger is not pink! This had never occurred to me (although perhaps that’s just me being somewhat oblivious at times). But you can get it that way by just adding a bit of beetroot juice - try to avoid the artificial colouring that goes into many commercial pickled gingers.

My next favourite thing to make in the past week were the Vietnamese Spring Rolls, followed by the Chinese Spring Rolls. The Vietnamese ones are uncooked and are generally vegetarian (although sometimes with a little pink prawn included), wrapped in rice paper, which is soaked briefly in hot water to soften it. Be warned, the rice paper is really sticky and can be difficult to roll, so have a bowl of cold water next to you to moisten your fingers and help the process along. With a bit of dipping sauce, it’s utterly delicious and another really healthy snack. The Chinese spring rolls are a little less healthy, being as they are deep fried, but are crispy and have great flavour.

And then there was the lobster. Oh dear. When we had the demonstration on making lobster dishes, the creatures had already been cooked and we were assured that the RSPCA had approved the cooking method. In short, you put them in a pot of cold salted water and turn the heat to low. They die at about 44°C and start to change colour to a deep red. If you cook live lobster, you need to be really careful when handling them as they have very strong claws and can give you a nasty pinch (deservedly, no doubt). There are lots of different ways of cooking and serving them, including with pasta or in a fresh brioche roll – I find lobster pretty rich in the first place, and cooking them with cream certainly adds to that, but a little is very tasty.

I was most trepidatious when arriving in the kitchen the next morning as we had been assured there would be live lobster to be cooked. As it turned out, the lobster were hiding (clever things) so we did not have to cook them, and substituted the lobster for scallops. I much prefer scallops to lobster – they are so delicious and should be cooked first on a very hot non-stick pan with no oil or butter to brown them, and then can be finished off in the sauce. Delicious!

And finally, there was the practical cooking exam. I decided to do an “international” menu if you will, and made pea and coriander soup to start – my absolute favourite soup - then a traditional Irish stew with lamb chops and potatoes, and finally a Tiramisu. They are all dishes that I have enjoyed cooking and I was happy with the outcome – at least there were no disasters! We were also required to cook a bread, which is decided by lots. The bread I drew was a yeast focaccia – not at all easy from a technique point of view and it takes quite a long time, but it’s my favourite bread and I loved making it.

In terms of the exam, all of the dishes must be served up at the same time for three teachers who taste and mark them. My tasters were Rory O’Connell, Rachel Allen and JR who is the pastry chef at Ballymaloe House. We will only know the results in a few months’ time, but Rachel very sweetly said that my dishes looked good.

So the practical cooking exam is done and dusted, and today I am studying for the written exam. There are three papers that are written over the full day tomorrow, ranging from food costing and menu planning, to identifying spices, fish, meat, herbs (and giving recipes for all of them) to cooking terms, jam making and so much more. I read a blog by a previous student who was a lawyer and had done the bar exam in the US – she reckoned that the Ballymaloe Cookery School written exam was harder! Ah well, nothing to be done but your best, so hopefully I’ll scrape through.

I will write a final blog next week when I am back home in South Africa to reflect on some of my learnings and our way forward but I do know that this has been an experience of a lifetime and I would not have missed it for the world!

My Top 5 Recipes of the week:

1. Sushi

2. Vietnamese Spring Rolls

3. Chinese Spring Rolls

4. Lobster with cream and fresh herbs

5. Tarte tartin

Cheers all, until next time!

#ballymaloecookeryschool #rspca

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