footballer incorrect quotes
mo: i know we don't get along so I got you this bath bomb as a present
sergio:
sergio: this is a toaster
kylian: you're up to something aren't you?
trent: you don't sound upset about that
kylian: i'm not
trent: ...but you still look mad at me
kylian:
trent: you're upset i didn't include you, aren't you?
kylian: a little
marcus: CONFESS!
anthony: what?
marcus: I SAID CONFESS, MARTIAL!!!
anthony: but-
marcus: RIGHT NOW.
anthony: OKAY. I LOVE YOU!!!
marcus:
anthony:
marcus: so it wasn't you who stole my charger?
robbo: send dudes
ibou: don't you mean send nudes
robbo: no send men. i'm in a fight
jadon: marcus kissed you?
anthony: *stares woefully out the window*
jadon: and you said "thank you"?????
anthony: *sighs*
harry: nice ass, sorry about the mental illness
serge: thank you king
robbo: if u ever feel safe please remember. i'm out there.
bernardo: were you a gifted child?
jack: uh yah gifted with a big fat juicy dump truck badonkadonk
bernardo: ...fascinating...
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footballers at the airport/on a plane
requested by my lovely bestie @yudgefudge to whom i cannot apologize ENOUGH cause this is over a week late!!! thank you for requesting!! <3
leo: this man spends the entire time staring out the window, no headphones, no talking to friends, just raw dogging this flight.
ney: spends the flight telling luis about the fnaf lore. but its so complicated that he constantly contradicts himself and ends the flight more confused than when he started.
martial: kicks rashfords seat every couple minutes and pretends to be asleep whenever he turns around to investigate.
reece: watches a movie on the lil tv to pass the time. chooses the saddest, most GUT WRENCHING movie available and everyone stares at him while he ugly cries like he just lost one of his own.
lewy: wakes gavi and pedri up a solid six hours before their flight and drives AT LEAST thirty miles over the speed limit on the way to the airport. so stressed out for absolutely no reason. almost murders pedri for not printing out his boarding pass ahead of time.
luka: gets distracted at the airport gift shops and almost misses the flight. buys too many useless knick knacks than he knows what to do with.
gavi: since hes there so early he has an entire pizza n soda from the airport pizza hut at six in the morning. it cost fifty bucks.
milly: has to wrangle the entirety of lfc as everyone goes off to different restaurants/shops in the airport. stresses that they all need to be at the gate at a VERY SPECIFIC TIME. none of em are.
sergio: hates every second at security cause he thinks its a waste of time. ends up having to carry some of lukas souvenirs cause youre only allowed to bring so many bags per person on the plane.
trent: gets stopped at security and holds up the entire team cause they found fireworks or some shit in his luggage. claims it got in there by accident.
pep: ends up verbally abusing the airport employee who tells him that carry ons can only be 50 pounds. his bag weighs 53 and he refuses to pay the extra fee.
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The Talented Mr Ripley
1999. Psychological Thriller
By Anthony Minghella
Starring: Matt Damon, Jude Law, Gwyneth Paltrow, Jude Law, Cate Blanchett, Philip Seymour Hoffman, Jack Davenport, James Rebhorn, Lisa Eichhorn, Sergio Rubini, Philip Baker Hall...
Country: United States
Language: English, Italian
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Match Review: Manchester United 0-3 AFC Bournemouth
Normal service has resumed. We are shit.
Manchester United were humbled by visitors Bournemouth on a rainy Saturday afternoon at Old Trafford, with defensive frailties resuming normal service aka Crisis Mode at United in the Ten Hag era as the Cherries put three past the Red Devils to the sound of boos from the rightly incensed home fans.
An early goal for Dominic Solanke put United on the back foot, but for the most part the players bounced back and began to control the tempo and dominate possession - largely due to good work in the pivot role from Sofian Amrabat.
United were unable to find a goal in the first half, and this sums up United's issues this season. We're currently on -3 goal difference. We don't score, but crucially we don't supply Højlund. Martial... well when we did try and supply him he seemed uninterested or incapable. A man lost at sea.
But Rasmus, he's a talented kid, and more is needed from our players to utilise that centre point. Not as a target man per se, but as part of a goalscoring formula whereby we stop having TWENTY SHOTS but only three on target. It's gross.
This naivety or tactical indiscipline or laziness or lack of quality... whatever we label it as, it's why United keep getting put on the back foot, and why Onana's under fire in the press when really it's just because he's under fire so much on the pitch.
Defence was always the weakness for a good, winning Ajax side, and it was always going to be an opportunity to exploit for United even on a good day. Today was not a good day. Shaw and Maguire lost Solanke for goal number one. Shaw and Reguilon failed to stop Billing for goal number two. Maguire was marking the wrong man as Senesi bagged goal number three.
The Opta stat above is a damning indictment, but so too is the stat that United have now lost more home games post-Fergie than we did under the great man himself. The state of it.
We should give credit to Bournemouth though. They played with intensity, a strong press, and utilised wingers far more effectively than United. The problem is that even that good showing from them should have been manageable for this United side. Players shouldn't repeatedly lose the man they're marking, or fail to jump properly defending aerial balls. That's before we even get to absent Scottish midfielders allergic to possession football, or petulance from other players to get themselves booked.
Ten Hag has his approach to football, but it heavily relies on playing out from the back. Only Martinez can do this, and this might be the downfall of the Dutchman and see a new manager - maybe Graham Potter? - brought in under our new owners (whenever that's announced).
This is where the Glazers should have done more to ensure suitable players were recruited and those squad members unable to play the Ten Hag way were moved on.
That's not to say there's no justified criticism of Ten Hag. We're yet to see the payoff from signing Mason Mount (admittedly, twice injured now), Onana's had a wobbly start to life at United, but also the issue of Antony. Erik wanted him, the club said no, then United lose to Brighton and Brentford and suddenly we're willing to sign him and pay Ajax twice as much as they initially wanted early in the summer when they could easily replace him... make it make sense.
This is where Sir Jim Ratcliffe and his potential hires could fix up United's woes. Strategic planning is crucial, and United as an organisation - especially under Ed Woodward - are pure Football Manager on-a-whim, wing it, yolo. That's money that could buy a new ball-playing CB to be able to play Ten Hag's brand of football and avert this panic mode defending where players are evidently uncomfortable with the style.
Time to console myself with more FM24 and escape this horrible reality. Bayern next, Liverpool after. Woo...
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