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thedreamingfish99 · 4 months

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Bright Sun Chapter One

5-8 x Reader

Summary Sawol is tired of seeing the two of you fight over everything and hate each other, but for better or for worst, a traumatic event might be what was needed to bring 5-8 and you closer to each other. Warnings : Slow burn, Ansgt, Hurt, Possible death Words : 4K Notes :

A/N: Haven't wrote anything in a while, but after watching Black Knight (Because Woo Bin is my god ever since School 2013) and absolutely falling with his character, I looked for fanfics and was disappointed by the small amount. So here I am trying to help some other lost souls like me. I really hope you enjoy! - - - - - CHAPTER ONE

The sky was getting clearer by the day, the sun beaming through fewer and fewer clouds as time passed. Sawol opened his window, pulling his arms on the edge to press his face against the grid and take his head out in the wind. He had started doing this every time 5-8 would light himself a cigarette, not really enjoying the smell of it, but truly loving the feeling of the caress of the wind on his face.

Even after they had stopped Cheonmyeong trucks from polluting the air, you still couldn't survive outside for more than twenty minutes without a mask. It was no surprise, it would probably take decades for them to be able to roam the earth free of a mask, if ever. But twenty minutes was no small feat compared to the eight minutes it used to be.

Sawol took a deep breath, even polluted, the fresh air tasted much better than the filtered one he was used to.

“It smells so good.” He whispered, taking in another full breath.

“Smells the same as always, polluted.”

Sawol turned to face the stoic man beside him, no expression showing on his face as he took one last inhale of his cigarette before exhaling and throwing it out of the truck's window. He then pressed on the switch, closing the windows with no pity for Sawol's arms that got pulled up with them.

He quickly regained his posture in his seat and faced his driver.

“Have you no joy in life except cigarettes?’’ Sawol asked, honestly curious.

5-8 gave him an empty glance before turning his attention back on the road. Knowing he wouldn't get any response, Sawol continued.

‘’Why can't you even enjoy the freshness of the air? You gave that to us!’’

5-8's mouth twitched with annoyance.

“I didn't give anything to anyone, I only took down the worm that was eating us alive.” He grunted in reference to Cheonmyeong.

“Fine.” Sawol pouted.

He folded his arms on his chest, his attention turned back to the road. It was quiet today like it had been for the past couple of days that he had gone on deliveries with 5-8. It had barely been a week since the event of Cheonmyeong's takedown and Sawol was still healing from the wounds he had gotten in the tournaments finals and the drugs that were administered to him. Well, that's the excuse he gave to everyone at the moment, not that it was a lie, his head was still killing him and he would feel some dizziness take over him from time to time, but in all honesty, he didn't feel quite ready to be on the road alone. He was scared to mess up and disappoint 5-8 on his first day.

Sawol shook his head to chase those thoughts away, he already had a solution, no time to dwell on that now.

“The sun..”

Sawol turned a confused look toward his friend, and raised an eyebrow, waiting for him to explain. 5-8 gave him a side eye and let out a long sigh.

“What brings me joy.’’ He continued in a low tone. ‘’ I like seeing the sun more and more every day.”

“Oh,” Sawol breathed out, remembering the question he had asked a few moments ago. A large grin grew across his face.

“What? You think it's more stupid than smelling the air like an idiot?” 5-8 teased him. ‘’At least I'm looking at something visible.”

Sawol took offense but didn't let his grin die. He turned in his seat to face the older man, who watched him from the corner of his vision, eyebrows raised in a quiet question as to why the younger one was smiling.

‘’Y/N and you are so much more alike than you think.’’

5-8 rolled his eyes, clearly annoyed upon hearing this, he let out an incomprehensible mumble, the grip on his steering wheel tightening. Sawol laughed at the sight of such visible emotion from the usual oh-so-unnothered legend.

‘’I can’t be as annoying as 6-2, that's for sure.’’

‘’I don’t care what you think or whatever quarrel there is between you too, it’s still true. You two are the same.’’

5-8 gave him a tired look and went back to concentrate on the road. Sawol was annoyed, his grin long gone. He lifted his legs, and feet on the seat and hugged his knees, resting his chin on them as he quietly watched the view from his window. Turned his back on 5-8, giving him the silent treatment. He hated the constant bickering going on between those two. Right after 5-8, Y/N was his closest friend. She was always there the whole time of his training when he was preparing to compete in the delivery man recruitment tournaments. She gave him amazing advice, trained him to fight, to drive better, and even helped him learn a few manners, not that he really listened during those sessions but still! She took care of him, brought him food when he forgot to eat by training for too long, she even took him to her place a few times so they could hang out, but mostly so she could be sure he rested well enough for him to heal and be ready for the next day. She took care of him like a big sister while his wasn’t available, and he loved her like family. Sawol let out a sad sigh, what in the world did he do to deserve that his two favorite people have a pure hatred towards each other? He never knew where those mutual feelings came from, not that he didn’t ask, that he did and many times. But he had never gotten a different answer then;

‘’She’s annoying’’ ‘’He’s annoying.’’

Their similarity used to make Sawol laugh about the situation, he remembered telling them that hating the other was pretty much like hating themself, but he only had reserved cold glances in return. Now, Sawol was just annoyed by it, desperate that their relationship would change for them to at least bear each other, enough that he could talk about the other without being ignored or interrupted by an insult.

The mutant closed his eyes, his head was starting to hurt.

- - - -

5-8 sent him a few glances, feeling slightly bad to make the younger one upset. He knew 6-2 was a sensitive subject with Sawol, he adored her so much. 5-8 used to wonder why, being such an annoying person as she was, but after hearing so many things she did for the youngster, he did at least understand and respect that fact. But it wouldn’t change the pure annoyance he felt towards her. 5-8 wasn’t used to feelings much, to him, his feelings were more of an observation than an experience. He did feel happiness, but he wouldn’t really laugh. He did feel sadness, but he wouldn’t cry. He never really felt deeply, with the exception of his hatred for Cheonmyeong… and his annoyance for 6-2. This woman could make him boil with anger sometimes, everything related to her, he would feel it times 10, and he hated it.

5-8 let out a sigh, he untightened his grip on the steering wheel and looked at Sawol. Sawol made him feel too, like the younger brother 5-8 never had. He cared deeply for him, more than he would admit, and he hated to see him upset, especially when it was against him.

‘’Why?’’ 5-8 resigned and asked. The youngest didn’t even open his eyes as he asked;

‘’Why what?’’

‘’Why do you think we’re so alike?’’ 5-8 gritted his teeth. ‘’Me and the annoying one.’’

Sawol jumped on his seat, eyes widened in surprise. He couldn’t believe what he had just been asked.

‘’W-what did you?’’

5-8 was starting to get annoyed, he didn’t even want to talk about it. He just felt bad for the kid and he was tired of the silence, he was used to no silence at all when Sawol was around, and he liked it this way. The man let out a grunt, looking back at the road.

Probably scared that this chance would never come again, Sawol decided to answer without forcing the grumpy man to repeat himself. He sat back comfortably in his seat, a soft smile stretching his lips.

‘’It’s what you said about the sun.’’

5-8 blinked in confusion, he glanced at Sawol as if pressing him to continue. He couldn’t help but be curious, no one really seemed to care about the sun except for him.

‘’Y/N, I mean 6-2 to you,’’ He let out a small chuckle before continuing. ‘’She showed me her tools and her notes, you’d love it, you know? She goes to one of the tall buildings in the old city. The same roof at the same time every day. When the sun is at its zenith, she said that’s when you can enjoy its warmth the most. She takes notes about it, some kind of research she told me. She notes the warmth and the brightness of the sun, and its color too. She notes the amount of clouds in the sky and the purity of the air. She showed me some of her tools, but it was honestly too complicated for me. I saw some drawings in her notes too, she’s really good… Anyways, you guys both love the sun. That’s what I meant.’’

5-8 didn’t really know what to think, he would love to see your notes and the tools you used, but he would never admit it to anyone, especially not to you or that traitor Sawol, who he knew would rat him out.

He was honestly surprised to learn you had such an interest in the evolution of the clarity of the sky as he did. He always thought he was the only one obsessed with seeing how bright the star could be without being filtered by the clouds and the heaviness of the air. He wished he could come to feel the warmth of the sun with you... 5-8 ignored the excitement that took his heart, curious about something else.

‘’How does she manage to make her delivery on time?’’

“Ah..’’ Sawol let out, itching the back of his head from embarrassment. ‘’She doesn’t really take any break.. and often works overtime.’’

5-8 raised an eyebrow at the confession, no breaks meant no lunch, and overtime meant less rest. Both of which meant a dangerous accumulation of fatigue that could prove mortal if she was ever attacked. Hunters were still pretty active in the area, and even though things were getting better, some of them just loved the thrill of the hunt and the killings... If you kept going like this, something bad was bound to happen.

‘’Don’t encourage her.’’ He heard himself say. ‘’Late deliveries give us a bad reputation.’’

That was half true and 5-8 knew it, yes he didn’t approve of late deliveries, but in all honesty, he felt a little worried. He might find you incredibly annoying, but you were still a fellow delivery man, and Sawol truly cared about you. 5-8 did not want anything bad to happen. Sawol snorted at the comment.’’

‘’Pfff, Mr.Perfect. You’re the only one that's never late. ‘’

- - - - -

You let out a grunt, lifting your head slowly. You felt your forehead with the tip of your fingers, feeling the crease the steering wheel had left on your skin. You dozed off again… It wasn’t the first time, and you were quite unhappy with your sleeping self to find the hard steering wheel so comfortable since it left you with a quite visible mark that took hours to disappear completely.

A throbbing headache attacked you as you opened your eyes, the light of the hangar too powerful for your exhausted self. After a tired sigh, you grabbed your cap and pushed it as low as possible. Today had been pretty rushing and you felt on the brink of collapsing. You unlocked your door and kicked it open, grabbing your notes at the same time. You climbed down off your truck carefully, contrary to your usual jumping to the ground. You barely had time to slam the door shut when you heard your name being screamed from behind. You quickly turned, just in time for Sawol to jump in your arms. Thankfully, your truck was there to catch you when you fell backward, having received a running mutant straight to the chest.

A painful complaint escaped your lips, the hard metal hadn’t been gentle with your back. Sawol quickly took a step back, grabbing your shoulders and giving you a worried look.

‘’Are you alright?’’ he asked, his face twisted with guilt. ‘’I’m so sorry I shouldn't have jumped on you like that.

You gave him a comforting smile as you gained back your balance.

‘’Don’t worry about it kid,’’ you said, shuffling his hair to tease him. ‘’You’re just heavier than it looks!’’

Sawol laughed, taking a few steps back to let you breathe a little. You watched him as he tried fixing his hair, he was smiling, but his eyes still seemed worried. You knew it was probably more about how tired you looked than from the hit you took. You felt a tightness in your chest, not liking that look on his face. You took all the energy you had left to jump back on him, locking your arm around his neck and messing his hair even more with your free hand.

‘’Revenge!’’

‘’Yah! Let me go!’’

Sawol fought you back but weakened by your laughter and your exhaustion, it didn’t take him long to free himself. With a fake angry look on his face, Sawol tried fixing his hair once again. You let your arm rest on his shoulder, heavier than you would’ve wanted, but the young man didn’t complain, and gladly let you subtly use him as support without having to ask. When he gave up on his messy hair, he smiled at you fondly.

‘’Don’t work tomorrow.’’ he whispered to you.

You hummed, not sure if you agreed or not.

‘’I’ll be fine.’’

Sawol let out an exasperated sigh, it made you feel more guilty than you thought.

‘’If you come with me..’’ you quickly added.

Sawol’s eye widened and he gave you the brightest of smiles.

‘’Of course!’’ he shouted happily.

A soft chuckle escaped your lips as you looked at the young man. You tried your best to observe his beautiful features glowing with happiness, it would make a nice drawing for later.

At the thought of it, your smile dropped. Anxious, you patted your pockets and looked around on the grounds, searching for your notes. When you finally spotted them a few feet away, you felt your heart stop as a hand was already reaching for them. you took a step in their direction but quickly stopped when you lifted your eyes only to be met by the dead look on 5-8’s face.

‘’You dropped this.’’ he simply said, handing you back your notes.

Your hand reached out to it, and you took hold of your notes, brushing your fingers with his by accident. You quickly retracted your hand, pressing the notes against your racing heart. You never liked it when someone touched your notes, except for Sawol which you cared for like a little brother. But the discovery of the notes and research you were doing would’ve been enough of a reason to get you killed when Cheonmyeong was still in power, making you used to keep them hidden. The bastards might not be in power anymore but you had kept the habit of keeping your research to yourself. The fact that you had some random sketches mixed with them also played into this, some of them private enough that you tried to keep them hidden even from Sawol… And even more to one of the most annoying men on earth, you wanted to keep them away, especially from him.

Still feeling the warmth of his skin on the tip of your fingers, you quietly thanked him. you tried not to think of the abnormal beating of your heart, concentrating on the fact that you now needed to wash your hands from having touched his annoying self.

5-8 eyes lingered on your small figure, his face void of expression. You suddenly felt quite self-conscious, you cared more than you’d like to admit what the man might think of you, and you knew right now you were barely holding it together.

‘’You look like shit.’’

His deep voice surprised you, and your eyes widened feeling pretty hurt by his comment. You wish you had something clever to bask at him in return, but your usual witty self seemed absent, asleep deeply inside out. Thankfully, Sawol ran to your rescue.

‘’Even on her worst day Y/N will always look better than you!’’

5-8 snorted at his comment, an amused look in his eyes as they never left your sight. You couldn't help but blush under his intense look. You were happy your cap was helping you hide a little bit of your flustered face. ‘’No one as handsome as you though,’’ you said breaking the awkward moment you felt stuck in. You pinched Sawol’s cheek, the smile you made appear on his face quickly leaving replaced by annoying and pain.

‘’Yah! I’m not a kid!’’ he screamed, hitting your hand so you let him be.

You let out a laugh and tapped his cheek playfully. Sawol pouted and caressed his reddened cheek with his hands.

‘’I’ll see you tomorrow, handsome,’’ you said before starting to leave, making sure to ignore 5-8 still standing close by.

- - - - -

The warmth of the sun on his face felt amazing, he had taken off his mask to appreciate it to the fullest. He felt at ease, thinking that this must be what paradise feels like. Sawol took in a deep breath, but before he had the chance to exhale naturally, he received a strong punch in the stomach, making him lose all his oxygen. He sat up in a jolt, caught by an uncontrollable coughing fit.

‘’Yah!’’ he spat between two cough.’’You wanna kill me or what?’’

Sawol barely had time to catch the mask you threw him before it would hit him in the face.

‘’Come on,’’ you laughed. ‘’Time’s up.’’

The two of you slowly packed your things back in the backpack you used to carry your tools and made your way back to the ground level, 30 flights of stairs below. No wonder you were so in shape, Sawol thought.

Reaching the floor level, Sawol took care of moving the big wooden wall you always put up to hide the entrance of the building you used to hide your truck. It was mostly a bunch of tall broken windows, but they were fortunately big enough for the delivery truck to enter the building's lobby so it wouldn’t stay outside, exposed, and left alone for hunters to take advantage of.

After finishing to slide the barricade away from the door, Sawol was surprised to find you sitting on the passenger side of the truck. He quickly jogged up to your window, his heart racing with anticipation.

‘’Is this what I think it is?’’

You watched him jumping from one foot to the other, not being able to contain his excitement. ‘’Mm,’’ you hummed positively. ‘’Hop in Mr. Delivery Man.’’

A small joyful squeak escaped his lips before he ran up to the driver’s side and took his seat. Sawol felt his breath being taken away as he caressed the steering wheel with profound admiration. He couldn’t believe he was actually sitting on this side of the truck for the first time. He let his eyes wander, taking in as much as he could, but the multitude of buttons and switches changed his dreaming expression into a frown. He had no idea how to use any of these. Your laugh took him back to reality, and he sent you a sheepish look.

‘’Help…’’ he whispered shamefully.

You burst out laughing even harder at the pitiful sight he offered you, looking like a child in front of a new toy that he didn’t know how to use. When your laugh came close to an end, you pointed at a few of the commands. Sawol followed your finger, looking closely and listening to everything you said with more attention than he had ever given to anything before.

‘’That’s the radio to contact other delivery man, we have a common channel, but if you want to call someone privately, you have to enter their number here,’’ you explained, pointing at a num pad before turning to something else. ‘’Here’s the lights control, there’s the camera around the truck, and here’s the defense settings you can use.’’

Sawol kept listening intently until she was done showing him everything, he exhaled deeply, impressed.

‘’I would’ve never known any of this on my own! Thank you.’’ he smiled at her, eyes sparkling with joy.

‘’I remembered when you told me you didn’t feel ready to be left alone,’’ you said softly. ‘’Well you’re not alone, I’ll show you everything so you’re ready when the time comes.’’

Sawol felt his heart melt. He couldn’t help but wonder why 5-8 hated you so much when you were probably the most caring and gentle person he knew.

The day was still young and you had quite a few deliveries left to do. Sawol let you show him the rope for the first few, but he then forced you to wait in the truck so you could rest. It was clear to him that you were exhausted and you needed the rest. He couldn’t help but smile when he came back from a home delivery just to find you in a profound sleep, head resting against the window. Sawol took on him to continue the rest of your deliveries as quietly as possible so you could sleep as much as you needed. A few hours later, Sawol had just made the last delivery and he was driving back towards the hangar, feeling quite proud of himself for the successful day that had gone by. He felt immensely grateful that you had taken time to show him the ropes, and after today, he felt confident that he would be fine on his own, that he shouldn't have to be scared to disappoint 5-8 when he’d be given his own truck. Plus, he couldn’t help but feel reassured that you had slept for a few hours, you deeply needed the rest and he was sure today had been quite helpful in putting you back on your feet.

Sawol's glance wandered from the road to its surroundings, he was surprised when he spotted a sand storm racing straight towards them. It hit them a few seconds after he had seen it, making the visibility outside incredibly poor. Sawol couldn’t help a rush or anxiety take over him, but he didn’t panic, he knew the way to the hangar by heart, he didn’t need to see far in front or the GPS. They were gonna be fine, he thought, no need to wake you over this.

Sawol took his foot slightly off the gas pedal and opened his lower beam. He continued driving carefully, not wanting to hit anything. Everything seemed to be going smoothly until he saw a dark figure lying in the middle of the road. Sawol rapidly hit the brakes, waking you up from the sudden stop. He gave you a quick reassuring glance before putting his mask on.

‘’Stay inside,’’ he commanded. ‘’It’s probably nothing.’’

- - - -

A/N: I don't know when the next chapter is gonna be posted, hopefully soon enough, but I might take a while with the Christmas vacation coming up, I hope you understand! Be sure to leave a comment to let me know what you thought! Much love!!

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halfseoulco · 1 year

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Indigo — RM: A review

Published Thursday, December 22nd, 2022 — Released on December 2nd, 2022, Indigo had to sit for almost three weeks before I actually pulled myself together, put in my earphones for the highest quality listening experience, and dove into the inner musings of one Kim Namjoon, also known as RM of BTS.

Introduction

Even before listening, I knew I would like Indigo. Actually, I knew I would love it. RM as a solo artist makes music with the kinds of soundscapes that I tend to prefer; and with the concept photos and teasers that were being released, my first thought was that Indigo would be a deeply emotional album.

I wasn’t wrong but “emotional” can be interpreted in a variety of ways. The night Indigo and the music video for its title track, “들꽃놀이 (Wild Flower) (with youjeen)”, were released, the unanimous consensus on the timeline was collective crying. I confess I judged the entire album preemptively by “Wild Flower”, especially after the small snippet I heard playing in the background of SUGA’s drinking show, SUCHWITA (슈취타), where RM was the guest—and that made me want to put off listening to Indigo even more.

Diving Headfirst into Indigo

On Tuesday, December 20th, I received my Weverse Exclusive book and postcard editions of Indigo and decided that I had put off listening long enough. I listened through the album twice, consecutively; and the initial listen-through quickly established that sad was not necessarily the dominant underlying emotion throughout. As a matter of fact, I found Indigo overall to be an album of pure vibes; and while there are certainly elements of melancholy, it is an album that is rooted strongly in self-reflection and introspection. Moreover, Indigo is—certainly as RM intended—an album for the people (ARMY) and not the charts.

One thing to take note of is that only two songs on the record do not feature a guest artist—and RM chose to depart from convention and use “with” instead of “featuring” to indicate his collaborations. It makes sense—RM is very much so a people person, someone who likes to discuss ideas and thoughts with others. It also shows the great respect he has for the other artists, all of whom are well-known in their own spaces. He also chose to put “들꽃놀이 (Wild Flower)” towards the end of Indigo instead of towards the beginning, which is where artists typically put their title tracks.

Concerning “Wild Flower”

Speaking of “들꽃놀이 (Wild Flower)”, I have to devote a considerable amount of time to addressing it. First of all, the Korean title is “들꽃놀이” (pronounced deulkkotnori) as a clever play on words with the Korean word for “firework”, which is “불꽃놀이” (pronounced bulkkotnori). “들꽃” does mean “wildflower” but combined with “놀이”, it translates more literally into “[wild]flowerwork”. You do hear “flowerwork” being used throughout the song but the play on words between “들꽃놀이” and “불꽃놀이” doesn’t quite make sense in English the way it does in Korean. The contrast between the two concepts is conveyed beautifully in the music video with the flower fields and the nakhwanori (낙화노리), which are traditional Korean fireworks.

Second of all, if I had to designate any song on the album as sad, I would say that all of its sadness is contained in this one song. I’m not even sure “sad” is a strong enough adjective to describe the emotionality of “들꽃놀이 (Wild Flower)” in its entirety. And maybe the type of sadness is unique to the listener but all I know is that I’ve listened to it six times since Tuesday and I’ve sobbed like a baby every single one of those times. No small part of it is thanks to youjeen (조유진) and her fiercely expressive vocals but also because of the lyrics—which are, in some ways, reminiscent of “Black Swan” [by BTS]. RM has to reconcile the two sides of himself: RM of BTS and Kim Namjoon, who is ultimately someone who wants to live life simply rather than the grand extravaganza he’s been experiencing since BTS’s road to fame began. There is also no small degree of humility here in that RM thinks of himself as not a big deal when surely most people can agree that he is a very big deal. This is reinforced visually in the music video, where you see the contrasting images of RM in the flower fields and RM on stage; and it conveys a powerful message that many people who face a certain level of pressure can understand. More so than sympathy, there is a deep, deep empathy to be felt—and sometimes with deep empathy comes deep sadness.

Thirdly, going back to youjeen, her voice blows my mind. It’s strong and well-supported from deep within her chest; and you can feel her channeling the necessary emotions like the fate of the world depends on it. Different voices add different colors to songs and the color of her voice is so perfect for “들꽃놀이 (Wild Flower)”. I don’t think RM could’ve found anyone more suited.

Conclusion

The inner workings of RM’s mind are fascinating and Indigo is truly a masterpiece for the ages. Nine out of ten of the songs went directly onto my nighttime playlist, as I found “Change pt.2″ to be a little aggressive but an interesting interruption in the overall flow of the album. My favorite songs, aside from “ 들꽃놀이 (Wild Flower) (with youjeen)”, are “All Day (with Tablo)”, “Closer (with Paul Blanco, Mahalia)”, and “Hectic (with Colde)”. I feel deeply privileged to have been able to listen to something that RM crafted so carefully and purposefully to share with fans—and I don’t think Indigo will be leaving my ears or my heart anytime soon.

GENIUS LAB USA RATING: No shame, I’m on my grave.

Indigo Track List:

Yun (with Erykah Badu)

Still Life (with Anderson .Paak)

All Day (with Tablo)

건망증 (Forg_tful) (with Kim Sawol)

Closer (with Paul Blanco, Mahalia)

Change pt.2

Lonely

Hectic (with Colde)

들꽃놀이 (Wild Flower) (with youjeen)

No.2 (with parkjiyoon)

#GeniusLabListens #RM #Kim Namjoon #KPOP #Korean Music #Album Review #erykah badu #anderson .paak #Tablo #Kim Sawol #Paul Blanco #Mahalia #Colde #youjeen #parkjiyoon

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