Getting emotional reading my textbook which includes images of cadavers - people who likely donated their bodies in order for them to now educate me. It's about learning, it's about care, and it's about supporting each other. I hope that wherever they are, they know I am grateful to all of them. I don't know them, but they now have made such a profound and humbling impact on me
Maybe this is too macabre for some, but those images in my textbook were of my fellow people, and I think it's right to be grateful for their contribution to my education, to me, it is such a selfless and kind act, something I have trouble quantifying. It feels almost holy, something which I am almost unworthy of
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my reward to you for finishing your assignment 🤲 (it's about Paddy btw)
oh goadjf;aldskjfa ja;haaaaaaaa!! THANK YOU it's INCREDIBLE and totally not me falling in love with this and then crying as I see the makeshift cross i'm so unwell in the best way possible this is stunning stunning stunning adkjf;aldkfj thank you <33333333
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some new tags ?? some new tags !! + affiliate tags :]
. 🕸️ HOW OUT OF HAND IT’S GOTTEN ╱ ooc.
. 🕸️ MY FLESH IS LACED WITH SUGAR AND MAGGOTS ╱ asks.
. 🕸️ YOU SAY YOU MISS ME ( I’M RIGHT HERE ) ╱ starters.
. 🕸️ WITH PINK EYESHADOW AND A SOBBING PRAYER ╱ isms.
. 🕸️ ANYTHING COULD BE HOLY UNDER NEON LIGHTS ╱ visage.
. 🕸️ DO YOU FEEL THE EYES OVER YOUR BODY STILL? ╱ promo.
. 🕸️ TO SWEETLY MELT IN SIN ╱ rp memes.
. 🕸️ I DRINK ; I BURN ; I SHATTER MY OWN DREAMS ╱ open starter.
. 🕸️ YOUR FISH HOOK IN MY MOUTH ╱ crack.
. 🕸️ EATEN IN PIECES ; NOT MEANT TO BE KNOWN WHOLE ╱ ic.
. 🕸️ I BELIEVE YOU LIKE A BEATEN DOG ╱ dash games.
. 🕸️ I WILL NEVER BE FORGIVEN FOR WANTING ╱ affiliates.
. 🕸️ KISS ME WITH MY BLOOD BETWEEN YOUR TEETH ╱ ships.
. 🕸️ TO BE LOOKED AT &. NEVER SEEN ╱ art.
. 🕸️ TOUCHED DOWN TO THE DELICATE BONES ╱ poetry.
. 🕷 | IN NEON LIGHTS ╱ canon &. main verse.
. 🕷 | THE CALL OF THE ANGELS ╱ overlord verse.
. 🕷 | FEATHER BOAS AND GLITTER ╱ 70’s verse. (ft. sirserpentine)
. 🕷 | OVERSEER OF HELL ╱ zestial’s employee verse (ft. zestials)
. 🕷 | GOOD OLD FASHIONED LOVER BOY ╱ human verse.
. 🕷 | LACED WITH BELLADONNA ╱ lost twins verse (ft. spyderdust)
. ♡ DO YOU LIKE THE SHOW ? ARE YOU TIRED OF IT ? ╱ videoaux.
. ♡ THE LAST SHRED OF TRUTH IN THE LOST MYTH OF TRUE LOVE ╱ hellsbroadcaster.
. ♡ I COULD NEVER DEFINE ALL THAT YOU ARE TO ME ╱ r-adio.
. ♡ BUT I’D NEVER SAY I LOVE YOU JUST TO HEAR YOU SAY IT BACK ╱ sirserpentine.
. ♡ I’M PUT TO AWE SOMETHING SO FLAWED AND FREE ╱ dark-ambition.
. ♡ YOUR BEAUTY NEVER EVER SCARED ME ╱ gamblins.
. ♡ THE FEAR OF THE UNKNOWN / THE FACE IN MONOCHROME ╱ zestials.
. ♡ YOU HATE THE APPLAUSE / YOU CRAVE THE ATTENTION ╱ xluciifer.
. ♡ BUT YOU’RE HOLDING ME LIKE WATER IN YOUR HANDS ╱ oriiginis.
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Genuinely I love Julian's route in The Arcana so much. The potential of it, this inherent pull towards someone and you don't understand why -- he's admitted guilt to murder yet you can't help but feel this strange insistence that he's innocent. You don't know how, but your body, mind, & soul are screaming at you that this man that you have never met before is good, he's not what others say he is, he's not what he himself says he is; and then you learn that he doesn't even remember what happened, he just assumes he's the guilty party because he wouldn't be able to live with himself if he was. Why else would he forget unless it was an unbearable guilt he couldn't bear the weight of?
And, on top of it all, he has this same strange familiarity with you. How does he feel when he sees you in the shop and his heart stutters? When suddenly his aimless searching for something feels resolved, when he looks at you and everything feels right? He doesn't know you and yet his body remembers.
The mutual amnesia of people who used to be extremely close. He sees you for what he thinks is the first time ever, but his body is telling him no, we know them, we miss their touch. And you, the apprentice, slowly realizing you're feeling the same things? You immediately trust him because, before you forgot, he was your partner. Your mentor. Somebody you were so incredibly, incredibly close to, but you died and he blamed himself and everything crumpled and he made himself forget so it could never happen again and then --
There you are. And neither of you remember, but at the same time, some part of you does. The muscle memory never left. He touches you so casually, pats your arms and grabs your hand and leads you around the alleys as if it's second nature because it is. He dreams of your face and his torment and of losing you, and doesn't realize that it was real, and that his body itches to hold you because that part of him can't bear to lose you again.
I am obsessed with it. How many little tells are there, really, that the two of you share and hint at it being an old habit from times forgotten? How many little touches used to be daily routines? How many flutters of visions aren't just passing thoughts and wishes, but memories?
You think of how hard it would be to kiss Julian with a plague mask on, and his response is "Imagine trying with two of them," because he wanted to kiss you when you were his apprentice, when you were both desperate and tired and aching and tortured by the plague with only each other's company as a comfort. Maybe that's why you had the thought of kissing him in the first place, too -- but neither of you know why the subject was brought up, neither remember, yet some parts of you do.
Ugh. I love it. And when Julian finally does regain his memories? And he realizes you're real and you're here and you've been here, and he has been able to touch you and hold you this whole time, but now he can truly appreciate it, but he's also horrified with the weight of losing you all over again. Oh my God. It's so good. The potential underlying thoughts and emotions are so good.
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