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lokimostly · 5 years

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Home from War (Ch.1/8)

James Conrad x Reader Word Count: 2,565 Warnings: so much angst (sorry not sorry) Fic Summary: One year after you lost the love of your life, a last-minute decision changes everything you thought you knew. Now only one question remains: how to make it out alive, and return home from war?

If you haven’t read the prequel series, go HERE to read Rainy Days! Super important, you don’t want to miss it.

A/N: Tag list is open! Thanks for the overwhelming support for Rainy Days and this new series! I love you all so much and I hope you like this one. Also, since his fic follows the plot of the movie, I apologize in advance for any discrepancies between my writing style and the script itself. I’ve taken most of the dialogue verbatim. I’ll try to make all of the extra characters fit into the story as smoothly as possible (so we can focus on the romance, lol). Enjoy! <3

Captain James Conrad stood in the middle of the road, uniformed soldiers passing him by. The wind whipped at his clothes, pulling them from him, as he stood frozen and utterly hopeless.

Where had you gone?

His mind raced and his blue eyes darted around, looking for some sign of you, but there was nothing to be found. All he could feel were the heartstrings in his chest splitting, the unbidden tears in his eyes blurring his vision, the overwhelming sense of hopelessness.

He fell to his knees, and looked up to the sky, where the yellow clouds had turned dark and drowned out the sun.

It began to rain.

One Year Later

Rain came down from the night sky in droves as the two scientists, Randa and Brooks, made their away across the busy Saigon street, holding their black umbrellas upright. As usual, they were caught up in argumentative conversation, shouting above the noise.

“Why do we need a tracker? And why SAS?”

“Former SAS,” Randa, the older, bearded man, corrected. “No allegiance to anyone. And he rescued twelve downed pilots from Da Nang in ‘72!”

Brooks’s reply was lost in the commotion of traffic and the onslaught of rain coming down on their umbrellas. As the two of them ducked into the corner establishment, folding up their umbrellas, Brooks sighed noisily and pushed his glasses up.

“Okay, fine. So how much do we tell him?”

“Just enough to get him to say yes,” Randa replied.

The bar was bathed in red and blue neon light. It lit up the silhouettes of everyone inside, revealing the room to be overcrowded and dusty. The air was thick with the smell of perfume and alcohol. Slow music played from some hidden room, giving the entire bar a mellow, diluted atmosphere.

The two men made their way to the bar and stopped short at the sight of the man they were looking for: James Conrad.

The former captain was a shell of his previously clean-cut self. Wearing a blue button-up shirt rolled up to his elbows and unbuttoned at the neck, Conrad’s sharp features were diluted by an unshaven beard, unstyled hair, and a clouded veil over his blue-green eyes. Apart from the hardness of his physique, the rest of him was in obvious disrepair, for reasons Randa and Brooks could only guess.

Conrad shot the eight ball deftly into the center hole and reached for the pile of money on the pool table. As he did so, someone grabbed his wrist and objected, scolding him in Vietnamese.

It all happened in a matter of seconds. Conrad stared at him, deadly and unblinking, before he snapped the pole upwards and hit the man in the face. Intuitively, he jabbed the pole backwards and slammed it into the body of another man with an open switchblade in his hand. The man threw a cue ball– he dodged. He threw another, and this time, he deflected it back into his face, knocking him to the ground.

Randa raised an eyebrow and turned to Brooks, giving him a look that screamed I told you so.

“Now there’s a man worth talking to.”

“...So we need someone like you, with unprecedented experience in navigating uncharted jungle terrain, to lead us on this expedition,” Brooks finished, watching Conrad nervously from across the table. Bathed in neon light, Conrad’s face was cold, calculating, and entirely unreadable.

Randa scoffed lightly. “We’re just scholars and scientists. We need someone with experience. In case things go sideways.” He held up his shot glass and paused, giving it a thoughtful look before his eyes flickered up to the rugged, bearded man sitting across the table.

“Men go to war in search of something, Mr. Conrad,” He pointed out. “If you’d found it, you’d be home by now.”

“Attention all soldiers and base personnel, final troop withdrawal will commence at 0600,” the loudspeakers above your head announced as you walked through the flight bay of the U.S. army’s Da Nang air base– your home for the past eleven months.

You cupped your hands around your mouth. “Hey, Slivko, do you have my Steinbeck?” You shouted, striding over to where the small group of soldiers were lounging on folding chairs, playing cards on top of ammo crates. You came within earshot of them just as Mills finished a joke, and laughter erupted from the men. You couldn’t help but smile, too– they were a funny group, and unlike your past experiences with previous squads, these soldiers actually felt like family.

Slivko looked up at you, laughing, and muttered “oh, shit,” reaching in his back pocket for the dog-eared paperback. He tossed it to you. “Sorry!” He called apologetically, waving as you walked past.

You grinned and shook your head, taking the book with you as you headed back to your quarters: a small, plain room with a single bunk, your half-packed duffle bag sitting open on the bed.

You sighed, tossing it onto the pile of books and other miscellaneous items, and took a moment to glance out the window. Squads of men ran past in drills. Planes and helicopters moved in and out on the runway like clockwork.

You were going to miss it.

Da Nang was a stark contrast to the jungle camps where you’d spent most of your deployment, but the change was a welcome one. The resources and free time that the air base provided had allowed you to finish up your degree: you were a bona fide Field Nurse now, and finally used to the title.

The rest of your life, however, wasn’t lining up so nicely.

News of your parents’ fatal car crash reached you only days after you lost the man you loved. The two combined were enough heartbreak to send you spiraling. Suddenly, war became the only constant, dependable thing in your life.

You snapped out of your trance and shook your head, inhaling deeply. You still had things to pack.

Your fingers worked nimbly to stack your books in orderly fashion, next to folded civilian clothes.

When was the last time I’ve worn jeans? You wondered amusedly, setting your other personal effects inside, reaching for the final items.

Your hands wrapped around something small– silver metal, cold and familiar.

“Nurse L/N,” Said a voice behind you.

You whirled around and snapped to, holding your hands at your sides and closing your fist around the item in your hand. “Sir?”

In the doorway stood Colonel Packard– an imposing, stern-faced man who’d seen too much war for his own good. Despite this, he was kind enough to you, and you’d been underneath his command during your time here.

The colonel glanced at your room, taking in the stages of preparation to leave laid out.

“Your orders for home have been processed, I see.”

“Yes, sir,” you nodded.

The Colonel leaned against the doorway and eyed you with scrutiny. “Any plans for when you get back to the world, L/N?”

You blinked. This was the question you’d been avoiding. “No, sir,” you admitted. “I don’t.”

“How do you feel about one last Op?” He asked.

You frowned, not understanding. “Sir?”

“My boys and I have been called in. It’s just a flight escort for some organization called Landsat.” He tapped his fingers on the doorway. “If it’s what you want, go home. But if not …” he trailed off, raised his eyebrows, and pushed himself off the wall. “Let me know. We could always use you.”

You saluted one more time before he left, the sound of his boots fading down the hallway.

You fingered the cold, metal square in your hand, looking down as you opened up your palm and flipping it over to read the letters. R.A.F.

Captain Conrad’s lighter.

A familiar pang in your chest made your eyes teary and you angrily wiped them away. An entire year ago, and you were still crying over it?

Pathetic, you thought miserably. He’s probably been dead for a year.

You inhaled deeply to calm your nerves and turned back to your bed, staring at the half-packed duffle bag lying open on your bed, like an open-ended sentence.

“What do I have to go home to, anyways?” You sighed aloud. You shoved the lighter back in your pocket.

One last Op, you thought, Packard’s words echoing in your mind as you set to packing – but for a different purpose.

The docks of Bangkok were damp from rain and crowded by both cargo and the people carrying it. Your duffle bag was slung over your shoulder as you walked with the troops. Slivko and Mills were less enthusiastic than usual, and you knew from their grumbling that they were upset at being deployed a day away from going home.

Needless to say, you didn’t share the same sentiment. There was nothing for you to miss that you could find at the end of a return journey. Right now, your job was everything you knew, and you weren’t about to leave it for the unknown.

You nodded to Colonel Packard, who was standing at the base of the gangplank, and he gave you a barely-discernible smile. He’d already expressed that he was glad you were coming.

It’s nice to be wanted, you thought, heading up the plank and onto the freight carrier Athena.

Stepping onto the ship gave you immediate nostalgia. The smell of seawater and rusted ship metal reminded you of your deployment to Vietnam from the states, and the weeks you spent at sea. You felt like you’d been so much younger then, even though it was a mere few years ago.

Tossing your duffle bag onto the bunk without a second thought, you brushed your hands over your camo pants and headed down the narrow hallway towards the common rooms of the ship, where debriefing would take place in a few short minutes.

You yawned. The trip to Bangkok had taken a full day and then some– hopefully you wouldn’t fall asleep halfway through.

The room was decently sized and filled with folding chairs, where men in blue, collared shirts sat on one side and soldiers sat on the other. You took your place in the sea of green camo, finding a seat next to Mills.

You yawned again when you sat down and shook your head, trying to blink away the tiredness. He nudged you with his elbow. “Hey, don’t fall asleep on me, L/N. I don’t want your drool on my shoulder.”

You chuckled and nudged him back. “You can’t make me,” you threatened playfully, ignoring his comically hurt expression as the lights dimmed and the projector in the middle of the room whirred.

A dark, curly-haired man named Victor Nieves introduced himself as the chief LandSat field supervisor. The presentation began.

Almost as soon as he started talking, your eyes started to droop, and you felt yourself falling asleep despite your best efforts. You tried bouncing your knee, picking a spot on the floor to focus on, breathing deep through your nose, but nothing stuck. You swallowed and shook your head, looking up stubbornly at the bright projections of maps and geographical summaries. Your eyelids began to close again.

“...we’ll then land and make base camp for ground excursions led by Mr. Conrad–”

You jerked awake so fast that your chair skidded against the floor. The sudden, jarring noise made the LandSat supervisor pause before continuing his speech. He cleared his throat. “As I was saying…”

In another situation you would have been embarrassed, even mortified, but you were too startled even for that. With sudden and desperate urgency your head turned to look around the room, searching every face, anxiety growing in the pit of your stomach.

“What the hell, L/N?” Mills hissed at you, but you weren’t listening.

You only had eyes for Conrad.

You finally found him. Standing against the wall, his arms crossed over his broad chest, listening intently to the LandSat Field Supervisor with no sign that he knew you were there.

You stared at Conrad, mouth agape. You inhaled shakily and took a moment to really look– after all, you hadn’t seen him in a year.

He was leaner. Harder. Even more handsome than you remembered. But when he turned his head as he leaned against the wall, you could see an unfamiliar shadow in his eyes– one that hadn’t been there before. It cast a darkness over his countenance.

You watched his blue-green irises flicker over the projector screen, listening to Nieves talk. He sighed, and his gaze began to wander, and your heart rose in your throat.

He looked at you, and the world froze.

It was like time decided to take a day off. Suddenly you couldn’t remember the last time you’d drawn a breath, and the beat of your own heart was unfamiliar to you. Every atom in your body felt torn apart, every hair raised, your eyes sparkling with tears as you met the gaze of the man you loved– the man you lost.

In the painfully slow tick of time you saw his breath catch in the way that his chest shuddered, how the blood drained from his handsome face.

You wanted him to move to you, to make some sign. Damn the debriefing and the rows of soldiers and scientists between you– for all you cared, you and Conrad were the only two people in the vast expanse of the universe.

But he didn’t.

He looked away.

Time returned to its regular pace and suddenly you came back to your senses, just in time to hear the Field Supervisor finish the debriefing and dismiss you.

Without a word you shot out of your chair and ran back down the corridor that led to your bunk. It was all you could think to do– you shut the door behind you, and fell with your back against the metal as you slid down to sit on the floor.

And you cried.

He looked away, you thought, replaying the momentary interaction over and over in your head. He saw me, and he looked away.

A sudden, dreadful thought occurred to you, and you looked up at the wall. You whispered your fear to the empty room, voice thick with emotion.

“Did he forget about me?”

Conrad watched you bolt as soon as the meeting was dismissed. You were gone almost before anyone else was was out of their seats, lost in the crowd of military uniforms.

He sighed, reaching up and putting his hand on his chest. His heart was pounding out of his shirt.

It was really you, he thought, clenching his jaw. After all this time. All my searching.

As the room gradually emptied, he stood alone with his thoughts, staring at the empty seat where you had been so close.

He felt like someone had punched him in the gut and stolen the breath from his lungs. The urge to follow you was overpowering, but he stilled himself. After all, he didn’t know exactly where you’d gone. And there was another thing to consider– that you’d run from him, like you’d seen a ghost.

Men go to war in search of something, Mr. Conrad, Randa’s words echoed in his mind. Conrad tightened his jaw and sighed, speaking quietly to the empty room.

“If I’d found it, I’d be home by now.”

- - -

A/N: thanks so much for reading! Kicking things off with a bang and a ton of angst. There are two tag lists: people who asked to be tagged, and people who I assumed wanted to be based on their comments. If you’re on the second list and do not want to be tagged, just let me know and I’ll take you off. :)

Tag List: @tarynkauai, @jessiejunebug, @o-sacra-virgo-laudes-tibi, @fire-in-her-veinz, @daylight-swiftt

Assumed Tag List: @damalseer, @un-consider-it, @uinen-ulmiel, @kinghiddlestonanddixon

#james conrad #james conrad x reader #james conrad x you #james conrad fanfic #angst #fanfic #kong #kong: skull island #captain james conrad #tom hiddleston x you #tom hiddleston x reader #tom hiddleston #reader insert #oc

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prorevenge · 6 years

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Pretend to be a "good guy" and exploit my buddy? Let me show you how to REALLY be an evil villain!

Hello there and welcome to a tale of (what I hope is at least somewhat) pro revenge. Be forewarned, it's a bit long.

Before I start, I would like to point out that this story did not take place in the real world, but instead took place in the online world of the space MMORPG called Eve Online. For those unfamiliar with it, it's a game where you fly around space with ships of varying sized (the largest up to 20km's) and basically blow shit up, or build stuff. It's one of the truest sandbox games out there.

Eve Online however, is notorious for being both extremely difficult, and VERY unforgiving. Certain practices that are straight out banned in other games, are not only allowed, but actively encouraged by the developers. Things such as scams, theft, espionage on a massive scale,... You name it, as long as it's done with the ingame mechanics, it's allowed and it's been done by a LOT of people.

Also, if a ship is destroyed, it's gone, poof, and you have to buy a completely new one.

Enter, myself. I was never a good guy, I was one of the worst of the worst, doing everything, using every dirtiest trick in the book, just to get the advantage and win fights, steal money, scam people. I would purposely look for defenseless corporations (the clan system in Eve) and then extort money from them. If they refused, I'd declare war on them and hunt them down mercilessly.

So you might be thinking, the pro-revenge was executed on myself? Well, sorry to disappoint, but no. Plenty of people have tried, all have failed.

No, this story is about a friend of mine that wanted to play the game. The problem was, he wasn't an evil bastard like I was and only wanted to build stuff peacefully. So I gave him some cash, advice, and left my calling card for when he ever got in trouble.

One of the pieces of advice I gave him, was to hook up with a decent corporation. They'd be able to help him further with the industrial side of the game (I know most of it, but not some of the finer details).

And here is where things went wrong. You see, in Eve, there's 2 things that I really dislike. The first is people that fuck over true friends, and the second is sleazy corporate CEO's (corporation leaders) that mercilessly exploit new players to do mindless drone work for them, while they stuff all the profits into their pockets.

Guess which type of CEO my friend managed to get himself involved with...

So after I was contacted by him, because he started to smell something fishy, he explained the situation and I was quickly able to verify that my buddy was not only selling his minerals to his CEO at WAAAAY under market price, the CEO was actually using those minerals to build capital ships (some of the biggest ships in the game), which he then sold on for a premium, raking in a massive amount of profit and not sharing any of it with his "subjects/slaves".

Consider my pet peeved...

I might be a bad guy, but at least I don't pretend to be a good guy while ruthlessly exploiting others and force them to do mindless work. I just straight up take everything that isn't bolted to the floor and take off.

So I went into evil genius mode and started planning. I started by telling my buddy to start putting in extra effort (keep in mind, he was thinking of just leaving that corporation at the time) and try and work himself into a position of power.

At the same time, I used a few of my many "alts" (second, third,... accounts with characters, I had 8 or so when I quit) to infiltrate his corporation. One of them was my own "industrial" character that had basic manufacturing skills, but an insane library of blueprints (the stuff you use to build stuff with, spoiler, they were all stolen at one time).

I used this character to get access to the corporation's POS-es (Player Owned Structure), that they were using to research their capital blueprints, using the excuse that I'd also like some time on there to research my own blueprints. After 3 days, I had the access I needed and stole everything. Their entire POS infrastructure and all of their blueprints that were there at the time. Totaling some 15 Billion isk (the ingame credit). Converted to real money at the time, it came to about 500 dollars in damage. (To put the 15 billion into perspective, that is the money that would, at the time, buy you 100 fully equipped battleships, just about).

However, I wasn't done yet. There was a reason I had infiltrated multiple characters, and several more were present as sleeper agents. Being a bit active, but not much, just enough to stay in the corporation. Meanwhile, my buddy was hard at work at proving himself to the corp. The CEO even complimented him publicly for his "new-found" vigor. I suppose a 7.5 billion paycheck will do that to you. He eventually managed to get himself promoted to "director", as one of the officers under the CEO.

I actually held off on phase 2 of my plan for well over a year and a half, in order to let the CEO recover a bit from the blow he'd been given. All this was taking place around the time when CCP (the developers) were introducing the replacement structures for POS-es, namely, citadels. I actually got lucky with my theft since not a month after I stole their research POS, CCP introduced the replacement structure (Engineering Complexes). Naturally, as soon as they had put down their first citadel, I struck again. This time on my main character that is a notorious racketeer.

I gave them an ultimatum to pay me 2 billion, or I would commence a war and destroy their citadel. They refused.

Naturally, it ended up in them being chased across half the cluster and dying in droves. They got desperate as I was finding them no matter where they went, even in the remotest of corners. This was because I had activated one of my sleepers a month before I had declared war. Using this character, I was aware of the location of every single member out in space, and I had a literal live feed on hostile comms.

That said, I did make it a point to hunt down the CEO whenever I got the opportunity, which led to him losing quite a few expensive ships.

Other groups had smelled the blood in the water though, and soon enough there were multiple incoming wars onto the corporation, which led to me getting an opportunity that I simply couldn't resist.

Earlier, I had given the CEO the idea for a fit (basically the gear you put on the ship) for a very expensive ship (a Vindicator if you're wondering). And I'd purposely made it VERY expensive with high end gear, with the hope that he'd be dumb enough to go ahead and just buy it to then use it against me (keep in mind, he had a habit of using his credit card to buy plex in order to sell that and get ingame money).

The bait was too juicy, and he took it, hook, line and sinker. Except there was one teensy tiny issue.

You see, in order to buy the ship, he'd gone to one of the main market hubs (Amarr) to buy the ship for the best prices, except there were guys from another war right there, waiting for him to undock from the station so they could blow him up (they may or may not have been friends of mine and they may or may not have received a tip).

So I jumped on the opportunity and used my sleeper agent to convince the guy, to trade his ship to one of my other characters, so I could transport it to his home base.

5 minutes later, and I was the proud owner of a shiny new Vindicator worth in excess of 2.5 billion.

Naturally, this burned my spy, but at the time, I couldn't care less, I had more.

Eventually, the war ended with their station being destroyed, multiple billions of ships destroyed (he actually bought a second Vindicator, and lost it against me), a 2.5 billion isk ship stolen and their corporation in tatters.

I wasn't done yet.

You see, I don't toy with my food, when I can, I go straight for the jugular.The first time around, I had to wait to execute my plan because my friend wasn't in a position of power yet. But now he was.

Using YET another one of my characters (no sleeper agent this time), I contacted the CEO and proposed a deal. I pretended to be a businessman and proposed to invest in his corporation due to the promise I saw in him.

I lured him in with the promise that I had 2 moons ready for mining (they had literally just released those structures and the possibility to use them in high security space) and that I would provide the infrastructure and ownership, and they could use it for a fixed percentage of their profits (the moons themselves being quite valuable, one single haul being upwards of 800 million). That, and a majority stake in corporate shares, through which the profits would be paid out. Naturally, the CEO didn't want to give up corporate control (I had been counting on it from the beginning), but we were able to arrange it so that I would receive 40% of the corporate shares, with both he and his 2 directors each taking 20%. That way they would still be in control of the corporation, but I'd be able to exert some pressure on them (in reality, shares are actually 100% useless if you don't have a majority control).

However, my buddy was a director, and as such, we did have a majority stake in their corporation.

As soon we knew the other director was going away for an extended weekend off-grid and the CEO logged off, my friend used his shares and ran for CEO.

Both my friend and I voted for him to win, and nothing could stop us. By the time the CEO got back online, it was too late. He'd been reduced to a grunt and was left to see as we emptied the corporate hangars from everything he'd put in there (a LOT of stuff, at least 20 billion worth).

We then kicked both him and the other director, and anyone else that was loyal to him.

Eventually, under the guidance of my friend, the corp was quite successful and they even decided to just outright buy my moon mining installations. Last I heard, they put up some more and are steadily growing.

I've since hung up my coat however and "won" Eve so to say.

But it's still one of my best stories from my time there.

(source) (story by Nunu_Dagobah)

#prorevenge #by Nunu_Dagobah #pro revenge #revenge stories #pro revenge stories #pro #revenge #revenge story #last10

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bryyo-data · 7 years

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Diaries of a Pirate Hussar

Log Entry 1

Well, I've finished training and today they're gonna give me a beast. Also, I broke my personal records device. The one I stole off Captain Brules a cycle ago. Oh well, I'm missing it more than he ever did. Luckily I managed to get hold of a new one today- the respect you get as a rider is glorious! They'll just give you this stuff.

They've captured a new bunch of Korakk Beasts, all younglings fresh for training. I've gotta get mine into shape and then we'll be patrolling down by the jungle generator, I think. Supposedly it won't take long- they're loyal beasts, but dumb as shit. Dangerous, mind, but dumb. Kinda reminds me of Brules, now I think about it.

Log Entry 2

I met up with my beast yesterday. He's a weird looking thing. I mean, I haven't seen that many Korakks, but this one has this straggly look about him. And he just doesn't sit still. It's gonna take us the rest of the year to get the armour on him.

Wish I could say he took to me like the Velbop in that old story they used to tell us as youngsters. Nah, he threw a hissy fit when I tried to get near him and knocked my lance out of my hand. Could've been trampled. But I'll persevere. It'd be cowardly to back out now. This is my beast and I will tame him.

Log Entry 3

Beast taming is not going well. Somehow he managed to put a dent in the walls of his pen, because he was thrashing around so much and acting like an idiot. Then he sat in the corner and made whimpering noises all evening. It pisses me off because I saw Hussar 15 go off with her beast into the jungle, and she's only had it for ten days! It's not like I'm expecting instantaneous results here, but I can't even get the thing to sit still for five minutes so I can get on its stupid head.

Log Entry 4

Two week's worth of training finally paid off. I managed to get onto his head today. Then I sat myself down in what we like to call the driver's seat, and away I went! Flying through the sky because the freakish creature bucked me off. Then I was nearly trampled by it, and let me tell you, there's absolutely nothing fun about a Korakk running at you at high-speed while you're incapacitated on the floor.

Having been, ahem, rescued by a few of my colleagues, I set about putting a complaint in to command. Clearly there's something wrong with this one. With the amount of time we've spent on it, it should be as cooperative as the rest of them. I suspect Phazon madness, because you see more of that stuff growing around every day. Nearly stepped in a blob of it before- could've melted my leg off!

Log Entry 5

We had Commando 68 take a look at it, but the beast has been given the all-clear. He beat the thing pretty harshly into shape- it wasn't nice to watch. In fact, I feel a bit sorry for inflicting that on the stupid thing now. It looked awfully subdued afterward. I felt so bad that I went out and caught a Nightbarb for it- the normal ones, not those Phazon weirdo mutants. Seemed pleased enough.

Tomorrow they're going out to round up a couple more beasts, aiming to catch at least three of four of them if they can. I was gonna volunteer to help, but they want us to go mounted, and that probably ain't a good idea. Either I'll end up dead, or my beast will.

Log Entry 6

I've been sneaking rations to my beast. He's starting to look fatter, but that's okay because he was skinny to start with. Now he just looks normal.

It's fine, I can afford it. We're well paid in our position. It's a dangerous job handling Korakks, given their size and strength, so we're compensated. It takes someone like 68 to really know how to handle them- I still ain't too pleased with his methods, but he's the expert so I won't question it. But he's not handling my beast. I am, so from now on I'm handling things the way I want to.

Also, I decided on a name for him. I'm calling him Pod. It's short for "my brain is the size of a Wryl Bean Pod and I'm stupid" because he is.

Log Entry 7

Hussar 11 caught me sneaking Nightbarb wings to Pod and told me it was dangerous. Said I "wouldn't be the first to get devoured by my Korakk if I associate myself with food". I feel a bit bad stopping now because he always looks forward to them, but oh well. I prefer my head.

We rode around a bit today and he's actually taking a liking to me. Well, I hope so anyway, maybe it's just the snack thing. Maybe he's gonna toss me off and eat me. Hopefully not.

Log Entry 8

Today I'm confident enough to take Pod out on duty. We've had some worrying reports coming from the north and Command aren't risking anything. It sounds like the Federation are getting suspicious. I'm surprised they haven't turned up sooner if I'm honest, Norion's only, like, a planet away.

We're just trying to get the Phazite armour on Pod now. He's a bit hesitant, but I think if we- oh, bugger.

Log Entry 9

We got the armour on Pod. He took it off again. Commencing attempt two.

Log Entry 10

Great, Pod just inflicted a fatal wound on Hussar 18. They had to drag him off. Won't be seeing him again. Didn't like him much anyway, he was a- POD

Log Entry 11

Pod somehow got OVER the pen walls, found a few storage barrels, and is eating weapons fuel. I really don't wanna go near him because of the whole food-association thing... Man, his tongue's huge... I didn't even realise they were that big... Oh damn, those guys have weapons. They're gonna shoot Pod. I gotta do something.

Log Entry 12

So I managed to drag Pod away from the weapons fuel and somehow convinced my superiors that he's a really nice Korakk Beast and it won't happen again. He's actually an idiot and he's going to ruin my reputation, but I still feel bad about what 68 did and now we've bonded so I have to look out for him. We got out on duty within good enough time, and nothing interesting happened. Now I'm sitting on Pod's back while he paces up and down this stretch of path non-stop because he can't sit still for two minutes.

I guess his energy levels are a good thing?

We did spot a few of those reptiles who live on Bryyo, and I swear one of them was riding a Korakk too. But they vanished into thin air the moment we got up there. They like to lurk behind those giant thorn plants, waiting for the opportune moment to strike. At least I have Pod to protect me.

Log Entry 13

Pod caused a little bit more strife. He got into a fight with one of the other Korakks, and things got nasty. I mean, Korakks are nasty beasts anyway, so two of them locked in a deathmatch is brutal. Next thing you know there's Korakk blood-goo everywhere and claws waving wildly in the air. Me and the other Korakk's rider managed to get well out of the way in time, but we couldn't call the beasts off each other. Pod managed to rip the other one's tongue out and then was making jabs at its belly. That could've killed it.

Lucky a few aerotroopers showed up. They managed to distract Pod from the safety of above while we climbed away and the other terrified animal made a run for it. Luckier still, you can't reach a Korakk's stomach from above, and that's the vulnerable point. Those guys would've killed Pod for sure if they could.

Log Entry 14

Pod and I have been removed off duty due to disciplinary issues. Commando 68 isn't best pleased with my efforts. I guess he was right? And I was starting to think me and Pod were pretty tight.

There's been a couple more attacks on the jungle base by those lizards, and apparently the gel plant area is having major problems with them as well. At least our glorious Leader has sent a new Commander to help us sort them out while our technicians finish up the generator defences.

In the meantime, I dunno what I'm gonna do. I've been accused of being "too soft" which is just about the worst reputation-tarnisher a Pirate can get. Too soft means not ruthless enough for battle. Unable to battle means unable to serve the Pirate forces. If I get struck off, I'll be shipped back to Urtraghus and have my head put in a drone 'til the end of my days. I'd rather not.

Log Entry 15

Me and Pod have been sent to a quieter location down south. There's less for him to get angry at there, and so the both of us are safer, as is everyone else. We're basically just keeping the reptiles at bay from down here, but most of them are coming from the north anyway. It's not particularly entertaining.

I've been a bit stricter with Pod- haven't talked to him much, or picked bugs off the thorn bushes for him. I even jabbed him in the side at one point when he was misbehaving. He nearly threw me- won't be doing that again. I felt bad doing it, but security is paramount, and the only way he's gonna keep going is if he learns to behave himself.

Log Entry 16

Some of those Bryyonian lizards dared to get close to us today. I could tell Pod was on edge for a while, then suddenly one of the things lunged at his face. Couldn't get past his armour, but it was a shock. Needless to say, he dashed the thing to the ground and it was a pulp in seconds.

I signalled to a couple of the ground guards and they pretty much took care of the rest. A few more lizards jumped through the bushes but they were basically leaping into weapons fire. It almost feels like some sort of weird test. They can't be that intelligent, they're brutish and their planet's soaked in Phazon.

Pod wasn't too shaken by the assault, but he had taken a very small wound to his right leg. It must've been hurting him because he didn't move about too much afterward, which is uncharacteristic. He even let me clean it up afterwards. I don't know if he's forgiven me for the harsh treatment, but I'm gonna have to admit it- I'm not cut out for that. I'm too nice or whatever. From now on, it's bugs as often as I can catch them.

Log Entry 17

68 noted today that I've been working hard on Pod. I dunno what I've been doing that he's noticed, but he was pleased. Said the guards on the south end were impressed, partly because I managed to control Pod enough to prevent him from killing them too. I still think that was something to do with his leg, but oh well, I'll take the praise.

I know what I haven't been doing, and that is harsh treatment. You simply can't do that to them. They get annoyed, and you end up dead if you aren't careful. Treat 'em nice, and they love it. Today Pod followed me around while I was on foot, didn't ignore me, didn't try to eat me, just followed me around like a faithful Velbop. It was- dare I say this about my killer beast? It was adorable.

I hope nobody reads my diary.

Log Entry 18

Those lizards made a full-scale assault on us today. I was out towards the east near the generator with a couple of other Hussars, and suddenly we were surrounded by them. Some of them were huge, bulky things which turned invisible the minute you looked at them. The rest had these animals, Warp Hounds, which could teleport with them. Horrible things, they were. I saw a trio of hounds tear the limbs off someone's Korakk. The rider had a lucky quick death after that.

Pod handled it well- kept his stomach shielded, just like he was trained to do, and didn't falter once, even when one of those reptiles grabbed hold of his tongue. Korakks have sensitive tongues and it hurts to pull on 'em, but Pod managed to yank the reptile over and crush it. I also managed to coax him into spitting Phazon, which isn't something he generally likes to do because it burns his mouth on the way out. It worked well, though. Not exactly hypermode-PED levels of power, but I was impressed.

Near the end of the battle I got knocked off by one of those lizards' throwing weapons. I landed near the holobarrier, and the electric shock disabled all my limbs. Ruddy things. What amazed me was Pod stuck around and shielded me the whole time, standing over me to keep me from harm. At first I thought he was gonna trample me by accident, but I could tell he was being deliberately careful with where he put his feet.

After the battle, I was taken in for repairs, which is where I still am. Supposedly I'll be out tomorrow and back on duty. I'm a lucky one. About half the guards over there are lying dead in the mud now, plus two Korakks. Those lizards really know how to beat them.

Log Entry 19

I've come out of repairs and all my limbs are good to go. This is what happens when you don't evolve your own legs like most other species, you're transformed into a useless slug when the technology inevitably fails. Not even like I could crawl away with all the heavy metal stuck to me and pinning me down. But hey, I had Pod to look after me, and even if it did take a little coaxing for him to let the guards get to me, he did a good job.

Bad news from the north- the Hunter Samus Aran has made planetfall. And here we were thinking she was dead or something. She's never dead, she comes back faster than Lord Ridley. Well, bugger, we're dead.

Except we can't afford to be dead, because Command are insistent that we beat her this time. We have Phazon on our sides, and Phazon makes us stronger. Our Leader makes us stronger, with Phazon. Nothing's going to go wrong, okay?

Log Entry 20

Me and Pod have been reassigned again, this time to the way between the generator and the nearest viable landing site. It's a pretty vital path if the Hunter wants to get down to us, but Commando 68 is confident that we can handle it. Apparently you need a "wild, unpredictable beast" to take down something as dangerous as the Hunter. Apparently, to no surprise, a "wild, unpredictable beast" is how they're referring to Pod these days. No worries, I've got a handle on him.

I really hope the Hunter isn't gonna come down this way, if I'm honest. There's other ways to the generator, albeit longer ones- wouldn't it be ridiculous of her to place her ship so close to us? She's probably got the sense to make her way down from the cliff region instead. Maybe, maybe not.

Oh well, no good panicking about it now. I'm not a coward and I'm not disobeying orders. As much as I like Pod, his duty is the same as mine- we go in together, and if we die, we die. Whether we do or not, hopefully we'll stop the Hunter in the process.

At least it's a good spot down here, near the densest part of the jungle. There's bugs galore! I keep catching them out of the air and sneaking them to Pod. Tried a few myself, but they get stuck between my teeth. So I'll just give them to him for now. He seems pretty happy with himself.

That's a funny looking ship up there. Don't recognise that one. Maybe it's a Federation vessel, or the Hunter? I'd better investigate, I think I can see some rising smoke. Thought I heard a funny loud noise too. Didn't spook Pod, though. If I leave my records device up here, I hope nobody makes off with it, or there'll be hell to pay.

-- Records end here --

#Metroid #Space Pirates #Metroid Prime 3: Corruption #Korakk Beast #Pirate Hussar #Bryyo #Fanfiction

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ecotone99 · 5 years

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[SF] Bionic Oblivion

Bionic Oblivion

8 min read - 1867 words

"Captains log. Day four hundred and sixty five. I have an incident to report. I probably should have reported it days ago. Maybe even weeks ago. It's hard to say. We were on route to the Coast of Gold spaceport when the navigation system encountered an issue. Our NP16, Rob as we call him, has been experiencing some malfunctions. I wanted to say something, believe me, but I didn't want to believe anything could happen to him. I mean its a Nero's Planet, model 16. Who's ever heard of an issue with that model? I know I haven't."

Zayn pulled on his cigar and adjusted himself in his chair. He was getting tired and it wasn't looking like he'd be able to sleep anytime soon. If it wasn't the navigation systems electrical issues causing him headaches, it was good old robot Rob. He took another pull and exhaled.

"Everyone knows NP's beat MP's any day. That's why we lovingly call them 'Near Perfect'. Sure beat's a 'Maybe Perfect' any day of the week. I tend to forget he's more than a walking, talking bucket of circuitry."

Zayn chuckled to himself reminiscing the advancements of technology and his adventures with Rob. He continued to pull on his cigar.

"Anyway, he's been acting strange. I thought something was off..." he sat back, trying to remember. "Oh I don't know, maybe a week ago. It's really hard to keep things straight, flying dark and all. It was his comments that threw me at first. Saying odd phrases like 'You have to break a few eggs to hit the stars' or 'optically discern ya later'. I knew he had a built in phrase builder and full dictionary, but it's not configured or built to start replacing portions of phrases or words with similar words. I definitely knew something was up when he called me..."

Zayn paused for a second and listened. He could hear the noise of Rob wandering around and talking to himself outside the Captains chambers. He quickly leaned forward and pushed a button near the base of the monitor.

"Video log saved." came a voice from the computer aboard the Nautilus.

The Nautilus was a space ship that closely resembled a pirate ship. It was built to look like an ancient sea craft with a few modern touches strapped on. It had solar panels and antenna's where the sails should be and its navigation gear stuck in the crows nest. It was unique in every way.

Zayn perked his ears up and listened. Rob's footsteps clanked away from the Captains quarters and down the hall towards the navigation system's panel. It was silent for a few moment's followed by the ships lights flickering.

"Dammit Rob, not again!" Zayn lunged forward and hit the ship's com speaker. "All hands on deck! Quickly this time! We have 60 seconds before he's live again!"

He jumped up and ran for the door to the captains chambers, quickly unlocking it. There was a noise as the air lock released. He made his way down the hall to meet the rest of the crew at the back of the ship.

"Careful Marlin, we don't need you getting yourself electrocuted! Lets get him away from that panel." Zayn stopped to catch his breath, which meant another pull from the cigar. "I hope you're ready to fix this once and for all Elise. You have thirty seconds! Get those nimble medic fingers going!"

Marlin pulled on Rob's metal body, his hands covered in thick rubber gloves. Sparks flew as he released Rob's mechanical fingers, which were now covered in black burn marks. He sighed a sigh of relief as Elise pulled open Rob's back cover, quickly unplugging wires and replacing them with the wires from her diagnostic tablet.

"Alright, he's immobile. Now what?" Elise removed the wires and looked to the Captain for support. "Resetting his firmware didn't do the trick last time and we can't get the navigation system back up without him."

"We can't turn him back on just yet. I'd rather get some sleep and we can decide what to do after some rest." Zayn was obviously exhausted and in desperate need of a break. "For now, lets just get him strapped to something solid."

"The most solid portion of this ship is its mast." Marlin took a deep breath. "Let's make like pirates and tie him up."

Zayn and Marlin worked together to move Rob's body to the center of the ship while Elise ran to the medical bay to retrieve anything that could be used as a restraint.

"I hope this is good enough." Elise said revealing a handful of gauze and tourniquets. She received concerned looks from the rest of the crew. "Maybe not? I'm in over my head here, guys."

"Just make sure he doesn't wake back up on us Elise, I'll be right back. I'm not taking any chances this time." Marlin said, running off to the engineering bay to search for better restraints.

Marlin was the ships mechanic. He knew how everything aboard the Nautilus worked and how to get her back up and running. He also knew he would need Rob to be fully functional in order to get the navigation system's tiny wires soldered back into place. Without an NP16, they were dead in the water.

After Collecting wire and a few hose clamps, he made his way back to the mast. When he arrived, he found Elise and Zayn securing Rob. They had put the tourniquets around his arms and legs and had begun wrapping him to the ships mast using the gauze.

"Ah, that's much better!" said Zayn, reaching for the wire. "Forget cosmetics. At this point, he's just as much a danger to himself as us."

"Sorry man." Marlin said as he worked to secure Rob's arms and legs better with the hose clamps. The metal dug in, leaving slices in Rob's limbs. "We'll fix you up good later. I promise."

"What a nightmare." said Zayn, ready to get some rest. He had finished using the wire to strap Rob to the mast and had begun to stand up. "That should do it. He can wait until tomorrow. Let's get some sleep."

For the last thirty six hour's or so, the crew had been awake, hiding in their separate quarters, hoping to find a way out of their dilemma. Hoping to find a solution that didn't involve Rob. The situation was getting more and more desperate.

Rob was a humanoid robot that was built to service the Nautilus. Most ships had a service robot, but there weren't many like Rob. He wasn't as sophisticated as the current line of robots and was deemed easier to work with, due to his minimalist design. Most of his speech was made up of preset phrases and those configurations needed to be changed if you needed to add more commands and acknowledgements. Outside of a few test commands and greetings, this was a feature the crew rarely touched.

During his normal nightly rounds, Rob was to look over the ship and do his best to document and fix any issues he could. If anything he out of place, he was to assessment. If the issue was bad enough, he would begin working on it immediately. That was, until the navigation system broke. Since then, he had been having his own self induced troubles.

During one of his rounds, he had noticed that the navigation system's service light had come on. He stood there assessing the situation for a moment and calculated the severity of the issue.

"Service required." he finally muttered to himself. With that, his pointer finger transformed into a screwdriver and he removed the panel, revealing the navigation system. It was throwing sparks.

"Immediate attention required." he said in his humanized robot voice. As he reached forward to begin service, the panel arced, electrocuting him. His body entered failure mode, causing him to shut down and fall forward. His head engaged the panel, electrocuting him again as he slid to the floor. After sixty seconds, his system reset and he stood up.

"Service required." he muttered, repeating the sequence over again. He continued this series of reboots and electrocutions until the combination of the two damaged his internal computer. On the following reboot, he promptly stood up and said "accommodation required." With that, he began running sideways down the hall mumbling to himself.

Not noticing the approaching wall, he made contact and fell to the floor. The impact jostled the wires inside him and temporarily fixed his movement issues. He stood back up and decided to continue his rounds, unaware that there was anything wrong.

He suffered mostly in silence as the electrocutions continued each night during his rounds. That is, until he got the Captains name wrong, calling him Karen. This made the Captain aware that something was not quite right. It also gave him the nickname Karen.

Zayn awoke with an uneasy feeling in his stomach. He knew they needed to find a way back on course and that their best option was to get Rob back up and running. He also knew there was very little hope of that happening. With no other choice but to try, he made his way to the mast.

Rob was a wreck. He had spent the night glitching on and off. He would find himself awake and muttering random phrases, only to promptly turn off. Every once in a while, he would attempt to move, further damaging his limbs.

"Morning Karen! How'd you sleep?" Rob turned off again.

"Shit. That's not good." Zayn said, tilting his head like a dog.

"I'm impervious to your vituperation's!" Rob was awake again. He twitched a few times and turned off again.

"Elise! Marlin! Wake up!" Zayn shouted. "Our favorite little ray of sunshine isn't doing so hot!"

"Who's ready for the exhibition to commence!?" Rob was clearly stuck in some sort of cycle.

Marlin and Elise were awake quickly and joined Zayn, acknowledging him with a "Morning Karen."

"Seriously? We've talked about this." Zayn shot them a look that indicated he wished he wouldn't have told them about the 'Karen' incident.

"How's our little man doing this morning?" Elise asked as she went behind Rob to check his internals.

"There's no finish line to life!" Rob threw his had back against the mast and turned off again.

"He's right, but that's definitely not good." Marlin looked worried. "This is really bad. Like, serious bad. Captain?"

"I need a cigar. This is a lot to handle and I'm barely even awake yet." The Captain didn't like the idea of abandoning any hope for his favorite robot. They had been together with the ship for years. The Nautilus depended on Rob.

Zayn made his way to the Captains chambers and sat at his desk. He opened his desk drawer and pulled out a maduro cigar, sliced the end and struck a match. As he looked out the window, stoking the cigar and saw a friendly sight. It was the Coast of Gold space port. He quickly punched the intercom. "Crew to the Captains chambers, please. I have good news!"

submitted by /u/andipanic [link] [comments] via Blogger http://bit.ly/2WCGS0m

#Blogger #Story

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berd-alert · 7 years

Conversation

Reactions to My Guardian Angel by Terminally Introverted (THIS IS VERY OLD, also part 1 of ?)

So, this one is less well known, but I saw it and decided to react to it. LET'S DO THIS. I suggest you read along if you want to know what the hell I'm talking about.

CHAPTER 1: WELL THEN. Okay, that's a dark start. HI LUDWIG, NICE OF YOU TO SHOW UP. No Feli, you're not unconscious you're in love. Wait, what did he mean by "I've been in your position"? YOU HAVE HIS NUMBER? THAT WAS FAST. ahmahgah, siblings. Ah, the artist's love for their creations, beautiful. AND he painted Ludwig, of course he did. *Uncomfortable laughter*

CHAPTER 2: *Singing* So you had a bad day. *End singing* AND THE OTP HAS BEEN ENGAGED, I REPEAT THE OTP HAS BEEN ENGAGED. YOU MAY COMMENCE SQUEEING. *Clears throat* Feli is canonically older, but I am willing to let it slide. *RE COMMENCE SQUEES*

IN BETWEEN CHAPTER NOTE: Do not listen to music while reading fanfiction. Especially not Vocaloid. Especially ESPECIALLY not English covers of Vocaloid.

CHAPTER 3: Imma hit the asshole who shoved Feli in his locker with a brick. Concerned not boyfriend is Concerned. Go Ludwig, Save your damsel in distress. You two are making me squee. Stop. Stop now. IT'S NOT PITY FELI, IT'S CONCERN. *does the kermit the frog face trying not to squee* *FAILS HORRIBLY*

CHAPTER 4: LUDWIG,1 ASSHOLE,0. BOOYAH. Feli, he's not frustrated at you sweetie. I swear, you did nothing wrong. *Cue 10 minutes of me laughing about the shows "Training episodes"* GUYSSSSSS YOU ARE IN A F'ING WEIGHT ROOM. STAHP. And if you look to your left, you will see two dorks falling in love.

CHAPTER 5: OH GODS I CAN NOT HANDLE. LUDWIG NO, IT'S FELI'S JOB TO MAKE BAD JOKES NOT YOURS. AHHHHHhhhhhhh..... *Fades away* noooooo it's too fluffly. I can not handle. HEY FELI. YOU'RE IN LOVE YOU DINGUS. ladies and gentlemen, Gym class will be hell. HEY ASSHOLE#2 RACIAL SLURS ARE NOT OKAY. AND THE JACKASS THREW A FUCKING BASEBALL AT HIM. I was correct, gym class was Hell. no no nO DO NOT PULL SOME HOLY ROME SHIT ON ME IT'S BAD ENOUGH THAT THIS STORY MADE ME SQUEE 6 TIMES. *Hospital* I feel you Feli, I don't like them either. AND He has a concussion. FAnTasTIc. but They're staying together YAY! *Throws confetti*

CHAPTER 6: Concerned Ludwig is Concerned. Okay the scene I've been waiting for has officially arrived. *Ludwig gets flustered* *Tries not to fall off chair* German boy be like "Oh no he's too cute what do I do?" Ah, backstory. Excellent. NO NO WAIT I WAS NOT READY FOR THAT. AAAAAAHHHG YOU TWO ARE KILLING ME *Sounds of Cassa dying from feels*

CHAPTER 7: (THERE ARE 21 CHAPTERS TOTAL GOD SAVE ME) OH MY GOD THEY ARE SO IN LOVE I CAN'T EVEN. He said he missed him... *jumps out window* What you planning potato boy? *raises eybrows* Hellooooooooo Gilbert! Oh, siblings, you will be the death of me. OH GOD I WAS NOT READY FOR THAT. OR THAT. FELI JuST ReaLiSED hiS FEElInGs I'M NoT OkAY. NO NO NO NON OH NO NO NO NON NO NO NO. OH THANK GOD FOR GILBERT THE COCK BLOCKER.

CHAPTER 8: Oh my god this. This. The sortof kiss the absolute awkwardness I can't even. The conversation with Lovino OH MY GOD I CAN'T HANDLE IT. *dies because they actually kissed*

CHAPTER 9: Feliciano and his fear of Thunderstorms. Oh god, He has PANIC ATTACKS!?!? I was mad, but the innuendos are too much for me. PARDON THE BODY MY SOUL HAS VACAtED. AND NOW IT'S ASCENDED GOODBYE (Pet names,it was the pet names)

CHAPTER 9 CONT: LOVINO POV! Smoking... really? Really man? YOU FIEnDS CAN'T MAKE ME SHIP SPAMANO! OH dear. Shit's about to hit the fan isn't it? I was wrong, but YAY! backstory. Oh, there it is. SHIT HAS HIT THE FAN.

To be continued...

#THis is LIKE 7 YEARS OLD BUT Y'KNOW WHAT IMMA FINISH IT #(Now I have to see if the fic is still around...)#Wish me luck #cassa's ramblings

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propertyhold · 7 years

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Let’s Go to the Auction! Tips and Tricks and A Big New Addition!

We all know I love vintage shopping. We all know I like a bargain. Good—glad we got that out of the way. See that rug up there? I bought it. For $40. At an auction!

There are lots of ways to find good deals on vintage/antique stuff: occasionally you’ll get a deal at antique stores, but I tend to favor consignment shops, thrift stores, salvage shops, flea markets, Craigslist, and the curb. Sometimes I venture into the land of eBay and Etsy but I like to see and touch and inspect things in person, so online shopping can be tricky. Also I hate waiting for shipping because I’m impatient.

In the past couple of years though, I’ve started going to more and more AUCTIONS! Auctions are my kind of fun: the people-watching is usually good, and I like seeing how much things go for even if I’m not really interested in them. It’s an exciting way to spend an evening…or afternoon…or morning…when ISN’T a good time for an auction, really? Especially if you’ve never been to one, though, the whole thing can be a little intimidating. In my experience, the general crowd at an auction seems to be largely composed of dealers—which is good if you’re not one, because you’re often bidding against people who have to be able to re-sell whatever’s for sale at a big mark-up for their attendance to be worthwhile. So if, like me, you have rooms to decorate and renovations to outfit, auctions can be an awesome resource once you get over the initial apprehension that might come along with trying it out.

Every auction house works a little bit differently, but here are some tips I’ve picked up along the way with the ones I’ve gone to!

1. Finding the auction! A quick Google search should pull up auction houses in your area. Most of them will have a website or at least a Facebook page giving some detail about the upcoming sales. Some places hold auctions on a regular schedule—once a week, typically—but others may be a few weeks between sales. Auctionzip.com is a great resource for finding sales in your area.

2. GO TO THE PREVIEW. ALWAYS. Before the auction, there’s a preview. Sometimes it’s a day or two before, and sometimes it’s just a few hours before the auction actually commences—usually the auction house will list this information, but just ask if it isn’t listed. GO. This is your opportunity to look at all the things for sale, and inspect anything you might actually want to buy. Usually there are paper copies available of the entire catalog that you can use for reference. I like to circle items that I’m interested in, and perhaps make small notes so I remember any flaws or repair work or whatever. There’s typically a LOT of stuff so it’s easy to forget—particularly if there are ten light fixtures you might want but two you REALLY want. You have to be able to remember which two! Obviously don’t break anything, but the preview time is there for you to touch things, open doors and drawers, and make sure it’s something you really want to buy. It may also allow you some time to check what similar items might be selling for online, so you have a point of reference for what a fair/good price might look like.

3. Bring a tape measure! You never know what you might find, and seeing a bunch of stuff sprawled out in an open space can mess with your sense of scale. You want to make sure you can fit whatever it is in your life!

4. If you can’t make it to the preview, your auction house might post the whole catalog online. The pictures are generally poor quality, but sometimes it’s enough to get a good idea. Sometimes, a few more items will be added to a sale that never make it into that online catalog, so going in person is definitely the best thing. If you can’t make it to the preview, though, sometimes it’s best to just skip the auction—purchases you immediately regret upon actually seeing them in real life suck!

5. Register to bid! The auction house will typically want your name, address and phone number, and then you’ll be in their system which makes the process faster next time. They’ll give you a bidder card with a number on the front, and typically a place on the back for you to fill in with your purchases. That space on the back of the card is really for your benefit—once you win an item, your number is noted in their system as the winning bid. But it’s good to keep track of your purchases yourself regardless—mistakes happen occasionally, and you don’t want to spend your whole paycheck!

If it’s your first time at an auction house, give yourself plenty of time to register—the registration counter will become crowded as the auction approaches, and you don’t want to miss the first items if you’re interested in them because you don’t have your card in hand yet!

6. Bring a checkbook! Or cash! On your winning bid, there is a buyer’s premium: essentially a percentage of your winning bid that gets added. The buyer’s premium is usually between 10-20% of the winning bid, but many auction houses charge a lower buyer’s premium if you pay with cash or check instead of a card.

7. Lots: anything that goes up for sale as a unit is called a “lot.” When you bid on a lot, you buy it all—so sometimes a lot will be just one piece of furniture, sometimes it will be two chairs and a side table, or it might be a box lot like the ones above, which are just groupings of similar items that the auction house decides to sell as a single lot. Don’t disregard box lots! Even if there are 30 things in a box lot and you only want 2 of them, sometimes you can buy the whole thing for 5 bucks and then you just have 28 things to get rid of or resell or whatever. Ha!

8. Bidding! The actual bidding part is SUCH a rush but also sort of scary, so a few things are liable to happen: either you get so determined just to WIN that you end up over-paying and regretting it, or something is just going way too cheap so you buy it just BECAUSE and then you have shit you didn’t really want, or most LIKELY you get too nervous and flustered and don’t bid or stop bidding and then lose stuff that you actually would have paid more for if only you had a second to think! That’s the WORST. So I like to pencil in my maximum bid next to the item in the catalog (and keep that shit close to your chest!), so I don’t end up in any of those positions. It’s such a simple thing but makes a huge difference, I promise! Always know how high you’re really willing to go before you bid.

My rule: don’t be the first to bid, ever. Often, the auctioneer will open bidding at something like $100, and then nobody will bid until he drops down to $5. Let other people bid it up and swoop in toward the end if it’s still in your price range. You don’t want to be the dummy that raised your hand at $100 when you could have walked away winning for $30. At the same time, don’t wait too long because sometimes nobody will bid, and the winner is just the first hand up—so if you want it, be that hand.

Also, try to sit toward the center, in clear view of the auctioneer. It SUCKS to bid on something and the auctioneer just doesn’t see you. I like sitting more toward the back than the front—that way I can watch my competition. You can pick up a surprising amount from body language!

Also, also: SOME auction houses will have the entire catalog photographed and displayed on a slideshow so you know what you’re bidding on. Sometimes, auction house workers will carry each individual item up to the podium area as they come up. In the first case, bidding is more likely to go in order of the catalog—meaning you know if you can go to the bathroom or something because the next item you’re interested in is 20 lots away. When the catalog isn’t photographed, often they’ll just auction things off in the random order that the auction worker grabs them off the floor, so you have to pay attention.

9. Leaving a bid: If you can’t make it to the auction in person, you might still be able to buy stuff! You can usually leave a bid on an item with the auction house, and then your bid competes against bidders who are there in person. EDIT: if you leave a bid on a chair for $400, and the highest bid in the house is $50, you will win it for $55 or $60—whatever increments the auctioneer is increasing the bid at.

10. Phone and online bidding: again, if you can’t be there in person but might be able to bid in real time remotely, the auction house might be using a service like Auctionzip.com to allow online bidding. It’s the future! It’s kind of like eBay but way more intense: you have to sit there and wait for your item to come up, and then you’re bidding in real time against any other online bidders and whoever is sitting in the auction house. It moves quickly! For phone bidding, tell the house which lot you want to bid on, and they’ll call you when the item comes up and you can bid over the phone, much like you would if you were in the room.

11. Bring refreshments! Auction houses often sell concessions like hot dogs and sodas and stuff, but maybe you don’t want that? Bring your own! Even though each individual lot might only take 30 seconds or so between opening bid and hammer, the entire auction might last a few hours. Be prepared! For the love of god, leave your kids at home and don’t bring friends with short attention spans. Auctions are just too boring for some people.

12. It’s OK to leave early! If you’re over it, or everything in the catalog that you were interested in has already come up, snag the opportunity to beat the line at the end and check out early. It can take a while for everyone to check out, and then even longer for the house to bring out your items if you wait all the way until the last lot.

13. Be nice! Nobody likes a sore loser, so don’t be one. Also, if you have friends you go to the auction with, make sure you’re not competing!! If three of you want the same item, be open about your max bids then let whoever is willing to pay the most bid on it. It’s never worth losing friends over! With other attendees, don’t be an asshole! You never know if you’ll end up walking into that dealer’s store, and you don’t want to be remembered as that jerk from the auction. Also, you might start seeing items that you saw go at auction for $10 in a store for $200—knowing what somebody paid for something does not give you license to begrudge them what they’re reselling it for.

OK SO NOW THAT YOU KNOW HOW TO DO IT…wanna see a thing?

I went to an auction a couple weeks ago. I saw THIS. I was filled with FEELINGS.

SO I BOUGHT IT FOR $200 AND NOW IT IS IN MY BEDROOM! It’s so tall. It’s so beautiful. It’s so…not my usual thing! Where furniture is concerned, I typically like modern from the past 60-70 years or so, or really primitive kinds of antiques from before 1850-ish. Then again I can be a sucker for Art Deco, so I don’t know. This armoire is Eastlake style—call it 1870s. I normally don’t like Victorian furniture for myself, but I make an exception for Eastlake because it was really a reaction against what we think of as Victorian furniture—the SUPER ornate, Rococo-revival kinds of stuff. Although the style of my radiators are literally named “Rococo” and I think they’re incredibly beautiful. What’s my point?

I have no point, except that the way to Narnia is through my bedroom and I’m pretty psyched up about it. I really like waking up and seeing this thing.

Right now the inside is set up with a clothing rod, but…I want a TV in it. I know I just renovated the den and the bedroom, but I do kind of miss having a TV in the bedroom because I’m trash, but I also want it concealed because I’m an insufferable snob. It’s a delicate balance.

To tie this post together, this is part of why you go to the preview! The armoire is not in perfect shape—it’s missing a few little trim pieces and the lockset for the doors, but look what was hiding in that lower drawer! All the pieces! Plus a finial that doesn’t appear to match anything. So $200 and an hour or two of little repair work, and it’ll be good to go.

I love you, towering Eastlake armoire. Welcome home.

Let’s Go to the Auction! Tips and Tricks and A Big New Addition! syndicated from findqueenslandelectricians.wordpress.com

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propertyhold · 7 years

Text

Let’s Go to the Auction! Tips and Tricks and A Big New Addition!

We all know I love vintage shopping. We all know I like a bargain. Good—glad we got that out of the way. See that rug up there? I bought it. For $40. At an auction!

Every auction house works a little bit differently, but here are some tips I’ve picked up along the way with the ones I’ve gone to!

9. Leaving a bid: If you can’t make it to the auction in person, you might still be able to buy stuff! You can usually leave a bid on an item with the auction house, and then your bid competes against bidders who are there in person. This is tricky—if you leave a bid on a chair for $400, and the highest bid in the house is $50, you just overpaid about $350. But if you really want something and are willing to pay X amount for it, leave your bid and see what happens.

OK SO NOW THAT YOU KNOW HOW TO DO IT…wanna see a thing?

I went to an auction a couple weeks ago. I saw THIS. I was filled with FEELINGS.

I have no point, except that the way to Narnia is through my bedroom and I’m pretty psyched up about it. I really like waking up and seeing this thing.

I love you, towering Eastlake armoire. Welcome home.

Let’s Go to the Auction! Tips and Tricks and A Big New Addition! syndicated from findqueenslandelectricians.wordpress.com

0 notes