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therangerofthenorthernlands · 3 years

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Tolkien Update #3 Pt. 1 (29 June 2021)

SPOILER WARNING FOR THE LORD OF THE RINGS: THE RETURN OF THE KING (2003)

So, the time has come my friends. I am sitting in bed crying as I write this. My first time watching The Lord of the Rings trilogy all the way through has come and gone. This is not by any means the end of my journey with Tolkien, nor the end of my journey with the LOTR movies, but it is still the end of an era, and must be respected as such.

Now I knew that tears were going to flow during this movie. What I was not expecting was not being able to see the fucking TV screen five feet in front of my face because of the absurd amount of my own incoherent bawling and screaming.

Okay, maybe that's a little bit dramatic. But I swear, the emotions I am describing were there in some form or another. All the emotions. I have so much I want to say about this experience, so many words inside my head begging to be heard. But words are hard, y'know? Important thoughts sometimes (always) refuse to express themselves in coherent language. So we're gonna start off slow and easy, and I'm going to be talking about a few GIFs (to continue yesterday's thread) to start off my review of:

Part 2 of The Lord of the Rings: The Return of the King (2003) (also known as part 6/6 of the greatest trilogy in cinematic history)

To begin with, I would like to provide the reader with this set of images of our beloved Legolas son of Thranduil:

May I say, absolutely breathtaking images of this man. Greatest angle possible. The immaculate beauty of the elf is truly showing through in this image set. Jokes aside, I had always seen this image set in memes, but I never knew what scene it had come from. Now I know. As the allied forces of Rohan and Gondor march upon the Black Gate of Mordor to act as a diversion for Frodo and Sam to make their way to Mount Doom, Aragorn get overtaken by an orc. This image set arises from the moment that Legolas sees that Aragorn is in imminent danger and is attempting to get to him. Thankfully, Aragorn turned out okay, and we got these funny images of Legolas out of it all!

Next, Eowyn and Meriadoc! I must once again profess my undying and absolute love for this woman--a love and devotion which was only intensified by her unending badassery during the Battle for Minas Tirith! More on that later, I have a lot I want to say on that topic! For now, to discuss the picture on the left. This is a behind the scenes pictures of Miranda Otto. As you can see, she's holding Anduril, making a call on her cellphone, and sporting a very snazzy pair of shades as well as a bucket hat. Imagine Eowyn wielding Anduril? God, I love that. And Merry! Merry is so brave, so courageous, so loving and caring. What's not to adore?

I forgot to include a picture of Faramir in my last post, so I'll insert one here just because I love Faramir (BUT WE HAVE TO TALK ABOUT THAT SCENE. OH MY GOD).

I also included some pictures of Faramir and Boromir because :((((( just because, okay? I'm not sad... Not at all...

Unrelated, but sometimes when I'm trying to fall asleep at night this picture pops into my head completely unsolicited... There's so much going on in this picture...

You may be asking yourself at this point, how many pictures and GIFs of LOTR does this person have downloaded onto their computer? The answer, my friend, is... a lot.

ANYWAY, I'm getting off track, and apparently you can only include ten pictures per post, so I'm going to post this and get on to writing the next part, because I have words about this movie.

#lotr #lord of the rings #the return of the king #rotk #samwise gamgee #frodo baggins #gimli son of gloin #legolas #gollum #boromir #faramir #eowyn #elves #galadriel

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dragonbabezee · 4 years

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Fictional Crush Series No.7

Have we made it to the 90′s yet? We have!

What’s this you say? The Outlander series didn’t premier until 2014? Well! There just happens to be an antiquated technology called books in with this particular tale was first created.

Let me set the scene. It’s 1993. I’m at the library with my dad. I feel like I’ve read the entire YA section, and I’ve run out of David Eddings and Anne McCaffery books to read. I complain to my dad that I have sucked this library dry. He reaches into the Returned Today Shelf of unsorted books and grabs one at random. “Here, you haven’t read this yet.” It was this, a first edition copy of Outlander:

Perhaps he though it was an historical novel set in the highlands. It kind of is...?

To prove to him that plucking ugly books at random off the shelf was no was to pick a quality read, I read it. First came intrigue, then delight, then fascination and compulsion, then welling tides of love and lust, and the feels! So many feels!

For those very few who are still unfamiliar with the Outlander universe, it’s a genre-bending book and series, especially the first three books, combining historical fiction, time travel, romance, blood, gore, sexual violence, medical ickiness, touches of mythical fantasy and magic, mystery, and a big slabbing helping of hot sexy sex.

https://www.deviantart.com/aryundomiel/art/the-heart-asks-pleasure-first-181601743

Oh, and this hunk of red-blooded, red-haired Scot!

That means “I am ready” for everyone who doesn’t read French or hasn’t read the book. I was 15. I was ready. My parents may have disagreed if they had known what was behind that twee bookcover.

James Alexander Malcolm McKenzie Fraser, Jamie to some, and JAMMF to the old school fandom. Oh course, now we have Sam Heughan to envision Jamie as, but back in the day we used a read words off a page and picture Jamie et al in our minds. I don’t think they did a bad job of casting Jamie. Sam is of course, too short, and his hair is not red enough, but I give it a pass.

What makes Jamie Fraser a worthy subject of a lasting fictional crush that rocked my world? He is an enlightened and modern thinker of the Enlightenment era, meaning that he does still kinda believe in witches and faeries, but also in science, and can eventually be persuaded to not beat his wife for wrongdoing (after a knife to the throat). He is a soldier, a mercenary, an expert swordsman, can ride any horse, even a demonic stallion that no one else can master, a farmer, a landlord, a leader of men, a student of science and progress, a virgin at the beginning of the first book, and a sex-god by the end of it.

Packaged in a 6 foot 6 Viking-esque warrior’s body, like a red-haired, blue-eyed demon set on Earth to sway our time-travelling heroine Claire off the path of marital fidelity. It could be said that he is the ultimate Gary Sue. He does have flaws though, mostly pertaining to pride and being a man of his day, even if he is a progressive one. He is the prototype that launched a thousand Highlander romance novels.

The most singularly swoonworthy thing about Jamie though is how much he loves his woman. The end.

https://www.deviantart.com/ellaine/art/Blood-and-Bone-567354322

https://www.deviantart.com/ellaine/art/Wild-strawberries-576708467

You want more detail? Oh, fine, SPOILERS AHEAD.

He will save his wife from his worst and most feared enemy, armed only with an unloaded pistol, even though he thinks she’s probably an English spy bent on turning him and his folk as traitors to the crown.

https://www.deviantart.com/lehanan/art/Outlander-Take-your-hands-off-my-wife-486871484

He will single-handedly rescue her from the midst of a witch trial that is in the process of condemning her, even though he’s fairly sure she really is a witch.

He will trade his soul and his body to keep her alive. He will believe the insane truths she tells him, and based on them, betray his kin and his King. What impressionable young hetro woman doesn’t want that level of devotion from her man?

At the opening of the book, Jamie has already been through a lot - imprisonment and two disfiguring floggings, exile, the soldiers life. near starvation, serious head injury, family intrigue, the death of both his parents....and he’s only 22. And yet, Jamie is still fairly optimistic character, aside for when he or his wife are getting tortured, raped, nearly killed etc. He’s not one to wallow unnecessarily in his Man Pain. Until he is, and then grab the popcorn and watch Claire drain the pool.

While we’re here, I’d like to point out a few unexpected treats and differences that I got from the show that I didn’t get from the books.

1) Jamie’s knees

2) The flogging and several other violent scenes that were disturbing enough in the books became Extremely Uncomfortable and Upsetting Viewing. If you’ve seen the show or read the books you probably know what scenes I am talking about.

3) they didn’t hold back on the sex scenes. Many gifs from the various scenes would get this post removed from Tumblr. Many were so hot I was blushing whilst watching it alone. DO NOT WATCH WITH YOUR PARENTS.

I have read all the books of course, though I mainly concentrated on the first one here, the one that spawned my crush. IT was a couple of years before I got my hands on books 2 and 3, and the fourth one hadn’t been written yet (I did get to go to a book signing and have my copy of Drums of Autumn signed by Diana Gabadon, Herself!). My parents remembered my love for the series, unfortunately, and tried watching the TV when it came out. My dad finally saw the error of plucking a book at random from a shelf to give to his 15 year old daughter to read.

#fictional crush series #Fictional Crush #jamie fraser #outlander #jammf

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norahastuff · 4 years

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Ugh, YES! That "sexually intimate" dialogue moment was 100% Dean being all record-scratch over Cas's casual mention of sex in general. Almost a fanfic moment where Cas uses a technical term for something sexual and Dean corrects him with the slang!

Sorry I took a while to answer this because I feel like you can’t address this without adding gifs.

I think it’s interesting because any time the subject of sex is brought up around Cas, Dean gets very flustered. That’s somewhat uncharacteristic of him, as he’s not particularly shy when it comes to discussing that topic. The other time that he seemed uncomfortable was when Sam brought up the fact that Dean was a “ animated Japanese erotica chick” to Jody. When Sam asked him why that bothered him, Dean’s response was “it’s Jody, man.”

Dean sees Jody as a kind of mother figure, and so it makes sense why he wouldn’t want to talk about sex around her. With Cas…well there’s no such reason there, and yet it’s been a running theme that his brain runs an error 404 signal anytime the topic of sex comes up around Cas.

This is kind of a running theme that maybe could be traced back to 5x04, and there’s also the fact that Cas is pretty much the only one he hides his porn from back in 8x10, and a few other scattered moments, but it became a more consistent and notable thing - or at least more notable to me - in the Dabb era so I’m just going to focus on those moments.

@justanotheridijiton mentioned 12x01 and Dean’s exchange with Cas after finding out he was conceived in the back seat of the Impala. Cas seems confused about the whole thing and yet still Dean seems flustered as hell. Edit: It’s not explicit that Dean was conceived there but the implication is definitely that Mary and John used to hook up back there.

There’s also Scoobynatural. Dean’s on a high from their wacky adventure and when they return we get this exchange

Can’t talk to Cas about that for some reason…

There’s a lot going on in 13x21, a particularly innuendo laden episode. Part of me still isn’t convinced they didn’t come up with the dick jokes first and then construct an episode around them. We start the episode with this exchange (also mentioned to me by @justanotheridijiton)

Later in the episode we have the whole Gabriel falling face first onto Cas’ crotch nonsense, Dean’s reaction is pretty much the only one that’s telegraphed.

Honourable mention goes to the ball handler exchange from 13x19, during which Dean once again gets unnecessarily flustered and Cas is confused.

I mean that’s the pattern right? Any mention of sex from or around Cas, and Dean can’t deal with it. For…reasons? Cas on the other hand is oblivious. He doesn’t pick up on understated mentions or innuendo. Cas’ experiences with sex in the past have been complicated to say the least, but one thing they haven’t been is subtle. And Cas has never exactly been subtle when he’s broached the subject either. Who can forget him trying to play matchmaker for the bartender back in 8x23:

Cas: Would you say that you’re looking for, uh, a partner in crime… …or, uh, someone who’s into nurse role-play and light domination?

Bartender: Brother it’s 10am on a Tuesday

You know when even Metatron tells you “you’re not the most subtle tool in the shed” there might be something to it.

Let’s be real, Supernatural hasn’t always had the best track record when it comes to addressing Cas and sexuality, but there are times, mainly by Bobo and Yockey, that there has been some thoughtful exploration of the topic. I’m thinking back to 10x07 in particular with Cas and Hannah.

Hannah was possessing a human woman. She was having feelings, desires that she didn’t quite understand and didn’t really know what to do with them. It was some really interesting stuff, because on the one hand she was still thinking from an angelic mindset, surprised that Cas is showing any kind of reaction at all to her nudity. After he’s an angel too, and it shouldn’t affect him. But then we have that shot of her smiling, seemingly pleased that he’s feeling something. At that point she didn’t even understand why that would make her happy, but by the end of the episode, Hannah has realised what it all was and she explains it to Cas quite succinctly:

Being on earth, working with you, I’ve felt things. Human things – passions, hungers. To shower, feel water on my skin… to get closer to you. But all of that was nothing compared to what I felt when I saw him.

Her husband – his anger and his grief. And Caroline was inside of me, screaming out for him, for her life back. These f-feelings, they aren’t for me, for us. They belong to her.

But the thing is, those feelings and passions, they may not have belonged to her, but they did belong to Cas. He’s not sharing his body with anyone else, and the things that he feels, they’re all coming from him.

So it’s not talked about very often, because sex isn’t exactly a priority for Cas, even if he does seem to have an interest and curiosity about the whole thing. See also him getting lost in Sunny’s “surprisingly passionate” love letters in 14x15 as he grips an invisible dick (though you know that part was all Misha)

He also later calls them “steamy erotic musings”

I think a big part of it is also what he told Hannah whenever she expressed any interest in him: the mission comes first. Duty above all else. That hasn’t changed for Cas. Other than walking out on Dean because he was trying to put his emotional needs first, when was the last time Cas did something just for himself? With no duty or plans or anything involved, when did he last do something because he wanted/needed to or even just felt like it? It’s not a common occurrence.

Ok yeah this ended up going down some tangents, but essentially I think that Cas seems oblivious about sex but it’s really just that he does not pick up on subtleties or innuendos on that topic. He favours a more direct approach. And any mention of sex direct or otherwise, as shown by his reaction to Cas saying “sexually intimate” this episode, for some reason seems to make Dean short circuit. It’s interesting, and yet always hilarious.

(And also apropos of nothing, I still have no idea what was up with that extended Dean pizza sequence in the Before. I mean…what???)

#asks #my spn thoughts #attached at the everything indeed #destiel #12x01 #13x19 #13x21 #8x23 #10x07 #14x15 #15x13 #long post for ts

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virginwhoredichotomy · 3 years

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favorite supernatural era (kripke, gamble, carver, dabb) and why?

can of WORMS anon..... kripke is definitely most fun to watch except i miss my emotional support angel. i do not remember anything about gamble i watched it once in 8th grade and i remember it being mildly entertaining so good for her. carver has a special place in my heart because that was my first spn phase and since i didn't speak english well enough to understand any of the discourse surrounding it i just reblogged gif sets and Vibed. also i unironically LOVE the marc of cain arc i've talked about it before but i find dean's rage so cathartic and i love the fics that human!cas has spawned also another argument in carvers favor is all of castiel's s8 arc which is just balls to the walls insane. when it comes to dabb i like that he mostly reused and deconstructed things that had already happened in the show (marys return was one of the best things they ever did imo) but the execution was so poor that it was hard to get through at times shdjdkf i do love what he did with cas and jack though and this is def the era where deancas shippers won like everything since the widower arc has just been a victory lap. i think dabbs era had the best character work since kripke (except for sam rip) and it's what really sticks out to me. i do Not give a shit about the bmol or apocalypse worlds or w/e but the dean & mary dynamic and jack & cas dynamic and ofc everything deancas (especially the divorce arc) are really some my favorite ever things about spn.

that being said... if i had to pick i'd choose carver purely for nostalgia reasons 😔

#ask #anon #carver really laid the groundwork for everything deancas we do not give him enough credit

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orionsangel86 · 5 years

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“I Think It’s Time For Me To Move On”

...And Other Things That Have Destroyed Me This Weekend...

So there is this common trope within love stories which generally happens at the end of the second act in which everything goes wrong and we all think that the lovers are doomed to failure. Its pretty much standard in every Jane Austen novel, every romantic film every made, every single bloody love story. Go ahead, name one. I guarantee you the break up moment is there.

Within the epic love story of Dean and Cas, there have been many break up moments, and all have had their emotionally devastating impact on the relationship and the show...

But THIS was a different level.

(For a nice summary of Destiel break up moments and understanding of this trope, @tinkdw wrote about it here.)

I didn’t think that there would be another moment within Dean and Cas’s relationship that could hit me this hard. The mixtape in 12x19, the wrapping of Cas’s body in 13x01, and the return of Cas in 13x05 are moments that I consider to be the very top of the scale in making this pairing undeniably romantic. Moments that pushed it beyond a platonic interpretation. These three moments have been the things I cling to when the show has otherwise made me doubt any conclusion to the DeanCas story, and since there hasn’t been another one of those moments since 13x05, until now I have been somewhat nervous that the story was dropped, or being forced back behind a platonic screen.

15x03 has ripped that screen away.

Emotional meta under cut...

This entire episode was an emotion fuelled dramatic roller-coaster that killed off three characters including our beloved witch queen in a scene that almost stole the show and practically canonised the SamWitch ship. Rowena’s death should have been by far the most torturous moment for viewers to endure, and it was extremely torturous and had me sobbing on a plane 3 hours into a 7 hour flight. That incredibly heartfelt moment between Sam and Rowena will probably go down as one of the top tear-jerking moments on this show. It was tragic in the best way - the way Supernatural is famous for.

But lets not gloss over the fact that in an episode where THAT should have been the climax, where THAT should have been the emotional highlight and end point, instead we get a further MORE dramatic stand off between Dean and Cas that pulled focus and ripped all of our hearts out just as violently as poor Ketch in the first act (a very clever and smug piece of meta foreshadowing there Mr Berens).

On a meta level, this is HUGE as a writing choice because they MUST know how this looks. This was the climax of the third episode of the finale season. The way Supernatural has always structured itself since Carver era is that the first three mytharc episodes of each season establish the direction of the story and set the foundations for the character level focal points and dramatic key notes to come.

That the writers have chosen to end the foundation episodes with a DeanCas break up moment that was more dramatic than a Spanish Telenovela has just stunned me and left me reeling because I just can’t see how else this can go. This break up scene absolutely DEMANDS a huge reconciliation of the sort that will be part of the A plot of the season - the FINAL SEASON. Guys. Part of the reason I have been so quiet and so disillusioned with the show during late season 13 and season 14 was because they pushed any Destiel plot into non existent territory - it became kinda irrelevant and Dean and Cas just acted like friends (homoerotic friends yes, and sometimes like an old married couple, but it was mostly played as an afterthought imo), so for this to suddenly be brought to the forefront of the emotional story again is excellent news for us.

The thing is, like with those huge moments I listed above, the break up scene is basically undeniably romantic when you break it down to its components:

1. It’s only Dean and Cas.

Once again we have another scene of high stake emotions that excludes Sam. In a platonic reading of the show, it makes zero sense for there to be such a hugely disjointed relationship between Cas and Dean and Cas and Sam given he has known them both for so long now that if they were all “just friends” then surely Sam would also feel the impact of Cas’s choices as heavily as Dean. In a platonic reading, Dean comes across as an asshole, Sam comes across as being weirdly uncaring about his friend of 10 years, and Cas comes across as not even bothering to get Sam’s opinion before leaving. A romantic reading makes sense because quite literally THIS IS A ROMANTIC BREAK UP.

2. The words spoken.

“Well I don’t think there is anything left to say.”

“I think it’s time for me to move on”

From Cas’s perspective at least, name one time in a piece of media where such language has been used for a platonic breakup sincerely? There have been heartfelt break up songs that use these exact words. (I should know I’ve spent the last 24 hours listening to them all).

That last line in particular is so heavy. It’s the last line of the episode and nothing about it is platonic. This is relationship terminology my dudes. “I need to move on, and get over you.” This is Cas’s bloody Adele song. My heart breaks for him, but if I was his sassy and fabulous best girlfriend right now I’d be sitting him down, sipping a cocktail, flipping my hair and telling him “Babe, you’re too good for him. Good Riddance. Let’s go out, have some cocktails, something pink and fruity. No dive bars for us darling. I’ll take you to Heaven... the fun one in London.”

In all seriousness though, from Cas’s perspective, this was him admitting defeat and giving up the fight for love. How anyone can possibly say Cas isn’t in love with Dean after this, well I just don’t know what show you are watching. This is the face of a heartbroken man who has just accepted that his love is unrequited.

3. The many faces of Dean Winchester

On the other end of the scale, Dean was mostly silent after his poisonous words “And why does that something always seem to be you?”

Forgive the terrible gif quality I’ve no time for fancy gif work!

Look at his face here. He knows what he said was fucked up and he immediately regrets it. The way he swallows around that regret and then turns away.

and after Cas says that devastating final line and walks away? We get THIS reaction from him:

The jaw clench as he looks down. The sorrow on his face as he realises he has well and truly fucked this up. LOOK

Finally, he looks up, makes himself look up and watch Cas leave. If that isn’t the face of a broken man I dunno what to tell you. Anyone who thinks Dean is totally heartless and uncaring right now needs to reassess because this is NOT the face of someone uncaring. This is the face of someone who has just lost everything. Again.

4. The FUCKING MUSIC

Seriously. The sweeping heavy drama of the low strings that come in right after Dean says that horrid line, that carry the weight of the look of horror and heartbreak on Cas’s face as they amplify the emotion there. As they blend seamlessly into the slow and subtle version of the Winchester family theme behind Cas’s heartbreaking speech and Dean’s stubborn stoic face hiding a multitude of emotion, until the violin dominates as Cas says “I think it’s time for me to move on” and the Winchester Theme swells to its climax, ripping all our hearts out just like poor Ketch as Dean watches Cas walk out of his life surrounded by darkness.

I MEAN.

A friend on Twitter reminded us all of this point about the importance of this theme via @justanotheridijiton here which is essentially:

“The Winchester theme is not simply an aural marker to let the audience know when and how Sam and Dean love each other (any Supernatural fan knows that is the baseline of their relationship), but to provide narrative information, especially when the image and dialogue are incomplete or inconsistent with the true situation... Seasoned fans will recognize the theme and its history of being paired with images indicating deep emotional bonding and a desire to do the right thing by the Winchester code. Here we trust our ears over our eyes to reveal the truth.”

So here is yet another key indicator that any surface read that this is actually an ending between Dean and Cas and that Dean really is just an angry asshole is utter bullshit.

Honestly, this was PAINFUL, but it was painful in the best way. It was 13x01 levels of pain, but this time it was Cas choosing to walk away which makes all the difference. Dean’s greatest fear isn’t his loved ones dying on him after all, but of his loved ones choosing to leave him. This was exactly the kick up the ass Dean needs in order to win Cas back, classic love trope style.

Hence my excitement at what is to come. Yes we won’t see Cas again until 15x06, but in the meantime I fully expect a good helping of angst and wallowing from a depressed Dean who has to deal with the fact that he has just lost the love of his life and it is all his fault. That he just pushed away the one person who promised they would always stay by his side. That has got to hurt.

So yeah, this episode emotionally destroyed me, and I’ve only really covered the primary reason, let alone all my feels over SamWitch, Rowena’s death, Belphegor’s taunting of Cas over his deepest fears and then having to suffer through smiting a creature wearing the face of his son until his body was nothing but a burnt corpse... I wonder if Bobo had a bet going in the office over how much he could hurt us all? He was certainly enjoying scrolling through the Supernatural tag on Twitter and liking everyone’s reaction tweets including some brilliant Destiel related ones. I do love Bobo. Our Angst Goblin King.

If anyone had asked me a few weeks ago what my thoughts were on the chances of getting explicit canon Destiel by series end, I would have said somewhere in the realms of 30-40%, considering it a battle of wills between DabbBerens and CW studio execs who I still feel are against it in general. I would have considered everything that happened after 13x06 as the writers getting a big NO on Destiel from the network and therefore having to pull back on any Destiel related plot points (purely my own speculation on BTS matters of course).

Now I am wondering if Dabb kept fighting the network? If he managed to wear them down into begrudging acceptance? I’m currently up to around an 80% chance of textual canon DeanCas if we continue on this path. If Dean is clearly shown to be mourning and hating himself over Cas next episode, and if this DeanCas dramatic plot line continues to be a focal point of the emotional story arcs... well...

I’m side eyeing 15x07 a lot right now. Only in my wildest dreams would I think that they might actually introduce an old boyfriend for Dean in a “coming out” episode, but the placement, timing, and potential is all there and I’m kind of once again donning the clown mask because I’m just in awe at everything that they are doing. I guess we’ll find out soon enough. In the meantime, I’m gonna paint my face in red and white and wear my rainbow wig and listen to break up songs on Spotify whilst trying to shove my heart back into my chest where Bobo Beren’s gleefully ripped it out with his hands like the demonic angst goblin he is. Wish me luck, I’m not sure I’m gonna get through this season with my emotions intact.

#destiel #supernatural #spn meta #destiel meta #spn speculation #season 15 #15x03 #castiel #dean winchester #spn spoilers #my meta #destiel dreaming #destiel break up

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mad-as-a-box-of-frogs · 4 years

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Been thinking about a few things lately (surprise surprise):

1) The negative space Rowena and Mary occupy within s15′s narrative, and the weight the main characters feels from their prolonged absence. (gifs 1-4) I mean, Sam’s face in the first gif!!!!

2) The conundrum of the afterlife system in s15, how Purgatory, the Empty, and particularly Hell are continuously described as unfair setups that punish even good people like Eileen and Kevin and Benny (and Rowena), how we have yet to deal with Heaven this season, and how s15x13 and Cas’s deal with Ruby might have hinted at the fandom speculation of the reordering of the afterlife system. Also been thinking about how Ruby has become the unlikely representative of the hopelessness and inherent unfairness of the Empty, much like Rowena has become, stuck in Hell and unable to seek the redemption she wanted or even help the Winchesters, and whether if Mary will become the representative of Heaven’s flawed setup (If it doesn’t turn out that Jack sent her to a parallel world as 14x20 subtextually implied) (gifs 1, 3, 5)

3) [Worse Case scenario, if expectations aren’t subverted and Rowena and/or Mary aren’t saved] How the show took 3 female characters and killed them, and softened the blow by saying, in so many words, that they were happier this way. Dark!Kaia is included in this, because even though I know Bobo said she would have died in the first season of Wayward Sisters, her death in 15x12 gives me no satisfaction. She couldn’t find happiness in the world outside her own, so she stayed behind to die in her own. It’s essentially a depressed character committing suicide, and it’s not the sort of tragedy I enjoy. Dying to save OG!Kaia would have been at least a subversion of 13x10. Dark!Kaia’s death, coupled Mary’s apparent death and Rowena’s death, highlight this pattern of the show killing off female characters and insisting ‘oh they’re happier this way!’ And maybe I’m just projecting my own troubles with depression here, but I just can’t accept that this is good writing, which is why I’m putting all my faith in Dabb and the show that Mary and Rowena stories don’t end here, separated from their family the Winchesters. (gifs 1, 3, 6)

I decided I’m going to make more comprehensive ‘Why the narrative is setting up Mary to return’/ ‘Why Queen of Hell isn’t Rowena’s final endgame and she will be rewarded with love by the winchesters’ posts eventually so that I can get all my thoughts down and use that positivity to get me through the mega hellatus, but this post has been sitting in my drafts forever. The tldr is that too much has been happening in s15 to make me believe Mary’s story is over or that Rowena’s endgame doesn’t involve love from the winchesters in some way. They’ve played fundamental roles in Dabb era, and the show can’t end without them.

#Mary Winchester #rowena #samwitch ish #ruby #dark!Kaia #fyi I'm not down with the 'crowley is rowena's final reward' theory #i just don't think there's enough time #Sam might help her save crowley from the empty but I'm still skeptical about a full resurrection #can't have everyone resurrected from the empty

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destielfanfic · 4 years

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Lost and Found, #2

Lost and Found, vol.2 (more about this new type of post see here)

Here are some asks that we have already answered privately but we hope that our answers could be useful to other followers as well. Some asks may contain spoilers for the fic, proceed at your own risk!

When possible, fic links go to posts on our blog, if the fic is not featured on the blog, we link to the hosting site. If you think that some other fic is a better fit, let us know! Gif from the gorgeous gif set by @magnificent-winged-beast , original post here, SPN, 15x12. Used with a permission.

Lost and Found fic, #1

I’m looking for an old epic Destiel fic (LJ era). Castiel was Dean’s guardian angel since he was a child. On one of the first scene Castiel was fascinated by Dean excitement for a storm. Castiel was very fascinated by Dean in general. Castiel was able to see souls. Sam and Dean had a very strong bond partly because Castiel had touched newborn Sam’s soul. When Dean was a teenager Castiel possessed Jimmy’s twin sister and went to a date with Dean to the cinema.

Our answer: The Soul Piece by cloudyjenn [M, 138,000 (abandoned? WIP), SU]

This fandom classic used to be hosted on all popular fic hosting platforms of the day - Live Journal, FanFic Net and Dreamwidth. Times have changed , the author has deleted their LJ and FF accounts, and the fic is now hosted only on AO3. See our PSA about cloudyjenn here.

Lost and Found fic, #2

I’m looking for a fic called “Return” but I cannot remember the author. It is a story about Dean being a space soldier and Cas is his husband back on earth with their son. Dean’s ship gets blown up but Cas can’t move on even when Sam tries to talk him into it for his own good. Turns out Dean is alive and enslaved. He is rescued 5 years after he is presumed KIA and returns to Cas and son. It also has two smaller fics in the verse “Meet” and “Ask”.

Our answer: Return, Meet and Ask by cloudyjenn (unofficially recced on an ask about fics where Cas thinks that Dean is dead) [8,000 word count, 3 parts, AU]

Another fic by cloudyjenn, which is now hosted only on her Dreamwidth. On our blog this fic is recced on 2 asks, the second ask is about fics with soldier/civilian families; both asks are tagged with the #war tag. Since cloudyjenn deleted her LJ 3 years ago, many links to her fics on our blog were broken. Thanks to this ask, I had a chance to look them up and fix them. ;)

Lost and Found fic, #3

hey! what’s that fanfic where cas is a spanish professor and dean is an MA student doing spanish literature? thanks xxx

Our answer: Inevitable Homoeroticism in Spanish Romantic Heroes by prosopopeya [NC-17, 41,700 word count, AU]

Gosh, this fic was the talk of the town when I joined fandom and started reading destiel fic 8 years ago.

Lost and Found fic, #4

hi! I've looked through your fantasy/demon dean tags and used the search engine, but I haven't found the fic i'm after. In the fic Dean was a demon/Cas was an angel, I think it worked out like angels and demons were different kingdoms? As far as I remember they had to work together, an arranged marriage may have been involved but I'm not sure. Demons had tails/wings, and angels had wings but i'm not sure about tails. There's a scene where Cas watched Dean train his demon team.

Our answer: This is All Life Really Means by gedry [NC-17, 90,000 word count, AU]

Gedry is another popular author from the good old LJ times. The link on our review goes to their LJ where fic is marked as complete. Recently, gedry has started to repost their fic to AO3, so I added AO3 link to our review as well. It seems that some timestamps are still not transferred, and for this reason only the fic is marked as a WIP. Please be assured that the main destiel story is complete and you can enjoy the fic and give it more love on AO3. Btw, the fic is on our demon!dean tag which we use for both, AU and SU fics.

Lost and Found fic, #5

[TL;DR lost fic: SU S10 (Post Demon!Dean), Dean PoV, hunting, angst, on Ao3, medium length] Newly-human Dean struggling to control the MoC and TFW hunting at a hotel. Demon!Dean told Sam & Cas that Dean was molested as a kid by a coach at his school (who paid for the brothers' hotel room). Monster looked like Cas, but didn't speak. Not written by kelpie, xylo, komodo, salty, peridium, or other usual suspects.

Our answer: Autrement, Danger - Or the Account of an Exceedingly Long Day by awed_frog [M, 30,600 word count, SU]

If awed_frog is not yet among your usual suspects when looking for a canon verse fic, she must be added to the list asap!

Other stuff to remember:

If we answered your lost fic ask and you never responded back, we are assuming that we have found your fic. If you have sent us an ask and never heard from us again, privately or via our Group Asks, don’t hesitate to send us another message!

Lost fic asks that we couldn’t answer privately, are added to our Group Ask for our followers to help!

We also answer more general questions about fics, fanfic tropes and suggest recs when necessary.

When looking for lost fic, check out our Tags Page! We have more than 300 tags to explore. Or use our Search engine from desktop to search for specific or unique terms.

If you enjoyed the fic, please drop by the archive (AO3) and let the author know with your comments and/or kudos! And if you found our recs useful, let us know by Liking and/or Reblogging our posts.

#lost and found #group asks #there's this fic #gosh this turned out to be such a blast from the past edition #i hope you find it interesting!

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mittensmorgul · 4 years

Text

aroundmyself

I’m a little confused with ep. 8. I thought Adams...

so i guess there were people who were annoyed by our existence and people who are annoyed by your existence (in the fandom, not literally. people live your lives fully)

I was making a joke. and I suppose you didn’t read the post far enough to see the conclusion:

But then 15.08 did something shocking, and humanized Adam, and actually made me care about him. Finally he was a real person I could empathize with, and not a ghoul or a plot device, you know?

Because that’s all he ever was before. And the passion for him was just baffling to me. Especially when it was typically delivered in pointed “Supernatural sucks and here’s why” lists.

They barely mentioned a character for a decade. They told us if he said yes he'd go to Heaven. I was making a joke about that, because the whole thing-- especially 7-8 years ago, was ridiculous.

I guess here’s a little story about my personal history in this fandom.

When I first showed up in fandom, after having watched through s7 at the time, I saw all the memes (they were EVERYWHERE, like half the posts about Supernatural would end up with a gif reminding everyone that Adam was still in Hell... there were campaigns to bring Adam back...). I couldn't understand it. He was a one episode (well, three if you count being a ghoul in 4.19 and being Michael in 5.22) character that in the one episode we actually met him, wanted nothing to do with the Winchesters. I couldn't figure out why people were so desperate to have him back, or how he would even fit into the ongoing story.

The only reason they rolled with Dabb’s original Adam plotline was specifically because Adam would already be dead when they met him. That... was the condition on which they went with the episode pitch, because they had no way to fit a random Bonus Winchester into the story. Actually maybe go read that link in the original post of Dabb talking about the purpose of creating the character in the first place.

And it wasn't *my* theory to start with, it was a common theory I read in the meta community at the time. Because that's what we do... we talk about canon and theorize about what fills in the blanks. Adam was apparently a blank people wanted filled in.

Go back and look up old lists of "Plot Holes Supernatural Ignores" and Adam is at the top of every last one of those lists (and there were a LOT of those lists back in s8-9 or so-- new showrunner, people were hoping to have some of their issues addressed in canon, I guess? Maybe it was just that era of tumblr where people lived for lists like that? Blame Superwholock? I don't know). And a lot of those lists were written by people trying to make the point that “Supernatural is a bad and terrible show that nobody should watch.” So unfortunately for me, who arrived in fandom at just the right time and wanted to actually find other people who ENJOYED the show that I did, rather than just shit all over it, the whole “Adam is still in the cage!” argument got mentally lumped in with the rest of the dumb things (that 90% of weren’t actually plot holes... there are also posts that debunk most of those lists, as well). But we didn’t have any final, definitive word on Adam.

FOR YEARS.

He was mentioned in 6.11 as a sort of “false choice” for Dean-- do you really think he would even CONSIDER saving Adam from the cage over Sam? Right. It was a guilt move. (and the first time I watched 6.11, probably only a few days after watching 5.22 for the first time, where Michael told Dean that Adam “wasn’t home,” I PERSONALLY assumed that Adam had gone to Heaven, as he was promised. The show still gave me no reason to think otherwise, not even Death giving Dean a guilt trip over what he was attempting to do for Sam, since THAT was basically the point of the whole episode.)

He wasn’t mentioned again until 10.05, by Marie, who also wrote robots in space into her musical. She was writing FANFICTION, which... the Adam line felt like the same sort of fanfic wish that a lot of her other plot devices were.

And that was it... until we saw him on screen in 15.08. i.e. AFTER Chuck blew up his own story. Not through Dean’s entire AU!Michael arc in s14, not when they all went back to the cage in s11 and let Lucifer out... Michael was mentioned a couple of times, but never Adam. So what reason did we have to assume he hadn’t gotten exactly what he was promised in 5.18?

ETA, because this is key, after Sam was brought back and had his soul returned, he never ONCE mentioned that Adam was actually still in the cage with him all that time. NOT. ONCE. That seems kinda the thing Sam-- being a Good and Caring Human-- would’ve felt was something they could’t let stand, you know? If he had really been locked in that cage with Adam for that year and a half. So SAM’S reaction (or complete lack thereof) was the biggest bit of evidence for me that Adam was never actually in the cage. I didn’t believe that Sam could actually let it stand if Adam had really been in the cage. But apparently he could... I am kind of uncomfortable about what this revelation says about Sam now...

And I found a bunch of incredibly thoughtful, well-reasoned defenses of the theory I personally had understood while watching. And the show continued not addressing Adam. After a few years, you sort of have to accept canon as it stands and move on. Especially after reading the creator of the character’s intent in creating him in the first place. ESPECIALLY when said creator is now the showrunner:

https://mittensmorgul.tumblr.com/post/184474002825/when-daniel-loflin-and-i-came-up-with-the-idea

The thing is, after s10, we all had even MORE fuel for our theory. After all, the second most common item on those “Lists of Why Supernatural Is Bad and You Should Feel Bad For Liking It” was Jimmy Novak. People 100% believed that Jimmy Novak was still rattling around inside Castiel, with the same fiery passion they still believed Adam was in the Cage.

This was another commonly debunked thing, often in the same posts and employing the identical headcanons and theories to fill in the blanks that were applied to Adam, because their situations were nearly identical. Angel possesses human--> angel explodes/is immolated/otherwise destroyed--> human soul goes to Heaven. At that time, there was actually MORE evidence to suggest that Adam was in Heaven than there was to suggest Jimmy was. Adam’s entire deal to say yes was predicated on it, while Jimmy only expected to go back to his “chained to a comet” experience with no hope of rest.

And then in 10.09 the show 100% confirmed that Jimmy had died the first time Cas was exploded (in 4.22, offscreen, we only saw the aftermath, so the video clip they used for the flashback was from 5.22, but the same thing happened in 4.22... so). If that wasn’t enough of a confirmation, we saw Jimmy and Amelia in Heaven in 10.20. That seemed, at the time, to be the definitive statement on what happens to human souls when their vessels are destroyed.

The show gave us little reason to believe that Adam wasn’t exactly where he was promised to go-- in Heaven.

And now, after we’ve learned about Chuck’s penchant for sending innocent people to Hell, and learned about the decade Adam and Michael spent with only themselves for company actually learning about one another and caring for one another... I am basically saying that the show found a way to actually make Adam and his story-- and the fact that it literally defies all other established canon-- interesting to me.

How... how is this... about you? A character created as a one-off joke in an episode that was basically one long Cousin Oliver gag, who was summarily wiped off the table by the end of the episode... but then repurposed for a Bigger Meta Plot Reason the following season... I find it FASCINATING that after being basically a joke in the show for the last decade, the writers have once again repurposed him for a Bigger Meta Plot Reason.

In case it’s not clear, I find this INCREDIBLY COOL, okay? I’m sorry your fave has never been my fave, and that I haven’t been holding a candle for his return all these years, but HOOBOY they got me interested in him now.

Maybe actually READ the posts you decide are a pointed attack on you personally before leaving bitter comments. Being impressed at a narrative callback that I was entirely prepared to hate is probably the best thing about s15 so far for me, personally, and that’s all my original post was attempting to state. With a bit of humor about my personal fandom experience. There was zero bitterness intended in any of this.

This show has over 300 episodes, and I’ve never been interested in descending into bitterness over a character who’s been absent from the narrative for a decade. As is my standard approach, I attempt to explain a thing as satisfactorily to MYSELF as possible, and then move on. It’s a healthy approach I highly recommend.

#aroundmyself #spn 15.08 #spn 4.19 #spn 5.18 #spn 5.22 #spn 6.11 #spn 10.05 #dabb vs cars #adam milligan #he was never even a 'real' character until 15.08 and the fact they've made him one in the span of a single episode #is a testament to how good this show is AND to Jake Abel's acting #that was the entire point of my original post.... in case that wasn't clear #which apparently it wasn't...

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drsilverfish · 5 years

Text

“AU” Past Episode References in 14x15 Peace of Mind (and the Theme of Fate vs Free Will)

There is so much to say about Meghan Fitzmartin and Steve Yockey’s lovely episode Peace of Mind.

One element I haven’t talked about yet, but which I noticed as I was watching, was how call-backs to previous “altered reality” episodes comment on the S14 theme of fate vs free will.

Firstly, Dean over-stuffing his mouth with that sandwich:

made me think about this scene from 5x08 Changing Channels:

(Sorry - can’t find the gif credit for this one)...

In that episode, Dean and Sam are trapped in Gabriel (posing as the Trickster)’s series of artificial TV show realities (including the Dr. Sexy TV show). Why? Because at this point, Gabriel was trying to convince Dean and Sam that it was their destiny to be the Michael and Lucifer vessels, and that (however much he, Gabriel, personally hated the thought of his brothers fighting) Dean and Sam couldn’t fight their fate, so they should just accept it.

GABRIEL: “You sorry sons of bitches. Why do you think you two are the vessels? Think about it. Michael, the big brother, loyal to an absent father, and Lucifer, the little brother, rebellious of Daddy's plan. You were born to this, boys. It's your destiny! It was always you! As it is in heaven, so it must be on earth. One brother has to kill the other.”

In using the phrase, “As it is in heaven, so it must be on earth,” Gabriel is recalling the saying, “As above, so below,” which comes from the 6th-8th century (Arabic originally) alchemical/ hermetic text The Emerald Tablet. This work is foundational to a lot of mystical alchemical thought and it is concerned (like S14 itself) with the “Great Work”, the creation of the Philosopher’s Stone, which on the material plane, according to alchemical tradition, can supposedly transmute base metals to gold, but which symbolises, on the spiritual plane, the refinement and ascendance of the soul.

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Emerald_Tablet

The Ouroboros (THE symbol for S14) is often understood to symbolise the transformation of the “Great Work”. Gabriel, of course, was misinterpreting the meaning of the saying, which is about the union of opposites and the transcendance of duality as part of the soul’s ascension (the union of light and dark, symbolised by the serpent swallowing its own tail) not their eternal pre-destined conflict.

Just look at the lovely detail of this call-back, given all the alchemical (and related, Jungian) themes of S14.

By recalling Changing Channels in Peace of Mind, Fitzmartin and Yockey remind us of the fate vs free will theme of S14, and just how wrong Gabriel was, first time around, believing in the unchangeable destiny of the Michael vs Lucifer fight.

We also see this theme played out specifically in the episode Peace of Mind itself, because Chip Harrington has taken away people’s free will in his fake reality of Charming Acres.

I’ve already mentioned, in another post, that 4x17 It’s a Terrible Life is another episode deliberately recalled by Peace of Mind.

Sam, whammied by the psychic Chip Harrington into the Justin Smith persona in Peace of Mind, mirrors Dean Smith, the Zaccharia whammied version of Dean in It’s a Terrible Life, as hinted at by their matching surnames and the number, 417 on the house “Justin Smith” is living in - as well as their similarly (Justin Smith/ Dean Smith)��up-tight personae!

Justin Smith in 14x15:

Dean Smith in 4x17:

It’s a Terrible Life, was another episode where the angels, in this case Zaccharia, were trying to convince the Winchesters, specifically Dean here, that it was their fate to be the Michael and Lucifer vessels, to engage in “fated” combat, and to bring on the apocalypse. Zach explains he plonked a memory-wiped Dean into a white-collar office job to get him to realise the essential “wrongness” of that, i.e. that he was “destined” for hunting:

ZACHARIAH: “To prove to you that the path you're on is truly in your blood. You're a hunter. Not because your dad made you, not because God called you back from hell, but because it is what you are. And you love it. You'll find your way to it in the dark every single time and you're miserable without it. Dean, let's be real here. You're good at this. You'll be successful. You will stop it.”

DEAN: “Stop what? The apocalypse, huh? Lucifer? What? Be specific, man.”

ZACHARIAH: “You'll do everything you're destined to do. All of it.”

So, again, Fitzmartin and Yockey make a deliberate call-back to another previous episode concerned with the Michael vs Lucifer narrative of S4 and S5, in order to illuminate Dabb’s Ouroboros narrative, his showrunner’s take on the apocalpyse (redux) and the theme of fate vs free will.

In S13 and 14 we’ve had an AU version of the S4 and S5 apocalypse storyline.

Here is AU!Michael, riding Dean’s meat-suit, killing this universe’s Lucifer in 13x23 Let the Good Times Roll.

Image credit - Wayward Winchester

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xFHws-zS0uQ

Now, of course, we know that hasn’t worked out as a solution (just as this combat was shown to be the “wrong” solution in S4 and 5). Lucifer is stirring in The Empty, so he’s not actually gone for good, and AU!Michael subsequently hijacked Dean and caused havoc.

In the process, Dean forgot the rebellious belief that served him well in S4 and S5, that destiny should be “screwed in the face” (5x18 Point of No Return) and instead succumbed, after his chat with Billie the New Death (14x10 Nihilism) to the fatalistic belief that it was his “fate” to lock himself in the Ma’lak box with AU!Michael.

Jack however, does represent the alchemical, transcendent solution, promised by The Emerald Tablet which Gabriel references in Changing Channels, because, through his ingestion of AU!Michael’s grace and his parentage inherited from Lucifer, he has now brought about the union of Heaven and Hell, light and dark, Michael and Lucifer, together into one being - himself. Jack IS the alchemical symbol the Ouroboros.

Just how the theme of fate vs free will, so deftly recalled in Peace of Mind by Fitzmartin and Yockey’s Ouroboros call-backs to Changing Channels and It’s a Terrible Life plays out over the course of the rest of the season, we shall have to wait and see.

However, just to finish, I wanted to add that there was another important call-back to a past episode concerned with “alternative realities” in Peace of Mind, which I thought was particularly significant, given this was a Castiel-centric episode.

Griffin and Conrad’s little encounter was surely (via the mirrored outfits) a call-back to Dean’s encounter with Castiel’s “ alternative” version of himself, without his angelic grace, Human!Steve, in the Gas n Sip in 9x06 Heaven Can’t Wait:

Conrad and Griffin in 14x15:

Dean and Human!Steve in 9x06:

Heaven Can’t Wait is one of the episodes in which the Dean/ Cas romantic subtext has been, perhaps, closest to the surface. In 9x06 Castiel is targeted by the Rit Zien, the battle-field angel trained to make mercy killings on the combat fields of Heaven, like the other human victims, because of the pain of his broken heart.

In an episode (Peace of Mind) in which Cas is read as “out of place” and “queer” (in subtext, “queer” in the sexuality sense) by the creepily back-to-the-’50s residents of Charming Acres, the narrative recall of Heaven Can’t Wait, when Castiel was pining for Dean, adds to and reinforces (in subtext) the queer-coding of Cas in 14x15.

Moreover, the recall, in an episode titled Peace of Mind, also hints (as we’ve been discussing for a while as a narrative trajectory) that Castiel’s “peace when he is done” might be to, finally, choose a human life (in subtext, with his romantic partner, Dean) - not, this time, involuntarily, like his Human!Steve experience, but willingly.

So, like the Dabb era Ouroboros narrative’s call-backs to Changing Channels and It’s A Terrible Life, in Peace of Mind, the call-back to Heaven Can’t Wait also speaks to the larger theme in play, of fate vs free will (redux).

Because in S4 and 5, Castiel chose to leave the “it is written” edicts of Heaven and join Team Free Will with the Winchesters. And together, they stopped the apocalypse.

The next go-round of their Ouroboros (as narrative and as individual journeys towards self-integration) Castiel might make another “next step” choice, taking him further from Heaven. He was “fated” to be an angel, but (perhaps) now he would freely choose to become human.

Overall, excellent use of episode call-backs by Fitzmartin and Yockey on the subject, in both microcosm and macrosm (episode and season arc) of fate vs free will.

#Supernatural #14x15 #Peace of Mind #SPN meta #Meta #Fate vs Free Will #Steve Yockey #Meghan Fitzmartin #A dog that thinks it's people #Castiel Novak Winchester #Long post for TS #Jung in S14 #Ouroboros narrative

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verobatto · 5 years

Note

It seems like in Dabb era we have gone from previous "Sam knows" to now landing in "Sam doesn't know but slowly gets clued in". You think this is subtly mirroring or rather cluing in the GA audience notions about Destiel or does it serve another purpose?

Hi my @angelneedshunter !!!

I have the perfect example with my husband. He is GA rewatching Supernatural, and he is now seeing the subtext and getting slowly into the idea of Dean is in love with CAS and viceversa.

I really think Sam is a reflection of all of us, not just the GA, bc he is the spectator in the middle of that love story. I don't think he is clueless, and I don't know if he is sure about Castiel feeling the same. But he truly knows his brother, and the way he reacts in front of his crush... Remember with Cassie? He got the idea about them right away.

So here is the thing JUST MY OPINION, Sam certainly KNOWS about Dean's feelings for Castiel. He knows there's something NOT PLATONIC, is obvious, bc he is always looking at Dean's reactions when Castiel does something, says something cute, or appears in front of them. He knows how crazy is his brother when CAS isn't there...

Look at Sammy's face watching his brother calling for 527282 time to Castiel's phone in season 12. And after this he tried to talk with Dean and smooth his humor. He couldn't.

And I think Sammy got his confirmation about Dean's feelings in season 13 episode 6.

Gif set credit @godshipsit

If Sammy had doubts about it... Now he hasn't. And the subtle wink to the audience here was Sam closing the doors of the closet. He was trying to get from Dean some kind of thing that gave him the right to say: So you love Castiel. But he saw Dean wasn't ready yet. And he decided to stop with the questionnaire.

And here, 13x11, Sam's reaction when Dean said he was in love...

Gif credit @cesarevora

And the face when Dean mentioned a "she"

Gif credit @cesarevora

A classic and priceless gesture, I mean "SHE??? WASN'T CAS?" He is so sure, that he starts to think there's something weird in all of that. And he was expecting from Dean to talk with him about Cas.

And then, mostly, when Dean returned from Possession, he was happy to see Castiel's and Dean's reaction for each other.

So I think Sam is GA but like my husband, he already knows. He saw the signs, he knows his brother, he is just waiting for Dean to express it.

And Sam is all of us, Everytime they are together, Sam and us... We feel like the third reel there... Don't you think so?

Another thing I want to add is that I saw this season and for the first time, Dean trying to test how Sammy would react to a confession like that. I saw that in Mint Condition, when they were talking about Sammy Halloween bad experience with "VOMITING IN FRONT OF PEOPLE" and the shame that was for him, and immediately after that, Dean naming queer TV couples, as he was trying to figure out Sammy's reactions. The same inside Dean's head in 14x10 Nihilism, when that woman entered to Rocky's bar saying DEAN WAS INTERESTED TO SELL THE BAR. Those two things were clues of Dean attempting to get out of the closet. Now blocked by Mickey again... But I have faith... Let's see what happens next...

Thanks for your question! I really enjoyed it! I love Sammy so so much!!

C-u! 😘💕💕

#answering fandom friends questions #sammy knows #just waiting for dean to express it #he was trying to do it this season!#ask me anything

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reformedkingsmanagent · 5 years

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Ooh, okay, the request was that TSS era Charlie got sick during kingman training, but was too stubborn to go to sickbay, and the reader (another recruit) notices during training and helps / takes care of him? Love your writing❤

A/N: I hope this is okay. Let me know if it isn’t, as always! Also I never noticed him fixing his pants until I watched this gif for three minutes straight.

Charlie had a fever. You could tell simply by the way he was acting that something was off. It was the simultaneous bundling up despite sweating that solidified your theory. You fully expected him to shout it from the rooftops, use it to get out of all sorts of things, but he was actually doing the opposite.

He didn’t want anyone to know.

“You’re in rough shape,” Eggsy teased. “You usually this slow?”

Every taunt sent ripples of fury down Charlie’s spine.

Charlie rolled his eyes, continuing forward with a weak grip on Sam’s leash. He didn’t have the energy to banter back and forth. It was difficult enough for him to keep running. He was about to drop dead on the path. Everyone would have to step around him.

As Eggsy sped on ahead, JB tucked into his vest like a baby in a sling, Charlie did his absolute best to resist the urge to shout out some comment. Raising his voice would upset the careful balance he’d created so he didn’t keel over and puke.

“You look a little pale, Hesketh. Sure you aren’t getting—”

A razor-sharp glare in Digby’s direction shut him up. Charlie kept his eyes on him until he was far enough ahead that they couldn’t maintain eye contact.

Roxy said nothing as she passed him by. He was steadily dropping back in the pack. Did Merlin notice?

He was meticulous, how on earth had he gotten sick? No one else was sick. As Charlie recounted the past few days in his mind, he couldn’t think of anyone he might’ve come across who was showing signs of being ill.

“You have a fever,” you commented, keeping pace beside him. You kept your voice low, well aware of his now-obvious attempts to keep it under wraps.

“No I don’t.”

“You do, you’re sweating.”

“I’m running, of course I’m going to sweat—” He closed his mouth and swallowed, doing his best to reduce the rising urge to throw up.

“Charlie, you ought to go check in.”

“I don’t need to,” he spoke through gritted teeth.

“You’re allowed to get sick—”

“No—”

He dropped Sam’s leash and quickly moved off the path, ducking behind the cover of some bushes to get sick. Sam looked up at you and you only barely resisted the urge to smile at his stubbornness. Normally you were on the receiving end of his teasing, everyone was, but he wasn’t particularly vicious towards you like he was with Eggsy.

I mean, let’s be real, you like him, but no one’s ever going to find out—

“Can you make sure Sam doesn’t—”

You grimaced, but wondered if he at least felt better. “Sam’s fine,” you assured him, glancing down at both Sam and your own pup sitting obediently beside you.

Almost another minute passed before he reappeared, needing all sorts of attention.

“Charlie, let me walk you to medical.”

He waited, taking Sam’s lead from you. He was hesitant, and you started to understand the immense pressure he was putting himself under. He wanted to be on top of everything, and he physically couldn’t keep up right now.

Must be driving him mad.

“…Wait for the others to go inside.”

If those were his only terms, you’d wait. As Rufus finally passed through the large doors that led into the main hall, you started walking, making sure to not get too far ahead of Charlie in case he chose that inopportune moment to finally pass out.

“I can’t believe you tried to run like this,” you commented.

He didn’t find it funny.

***

The library was quite large, lots of old dark wood shelves and closed-off alcoves with tables and benches for studying. It was big enough that everyone pretty much had their own corner if they wanted, though Eggsy and Roxy usually paired off smartly and split the work.

After getting a late start and missing breakfast, you finally reached the quiet of the library to begin studying for an afternoon exam, something related to history. Tactics, military battles and the like.

As you passed the tucked-away benches, you spotted Rufus on his own, a large stack of books waiting in front of him. Digby was in the next alcove, reclined against the wall behind him, feet propped up on the bare table with his eyes closed. Eggsy and Roxy were next, as usual, both taking one side of the table and quietly exchanging information as they learned it. You passed Hugo who most certainly was not studying, but instead was seeing how tall of a tower he could make out of the books on the surrounding shelves.

You were slow as you passed the next set of benches. You fully expected to see Charlie there taking detailed notes, twirling his pen in his hand, but it was empty. Still, you saw Sam laying down beside the table. Maybe he was out looking for books?

Before you could reach the next table and make a home for yourself, you heard a cough. Sam lifted her head and glanced towards the bench on the other side of the wooden table, its apparent occupant not visible from where you were.

“Charlie?” you mumbled, stepping into the alcove.

“No.”

As you rounded the table, you saw him lying on his side on the uncomfortable wooden bench, curled up as much as possible.

“Charlie, you should really be in bed.”

“Keep your voice down,” he whispered harshly.

You gave him a minute for it to sink in just how ridiculous he was being about it all. You could see his expression changing as his frustration became obvious.

“I’m dizzy, I can’t even sit up to read,” he complained. “But I have to.” He pushed himself back up, his hands immediately going for the table to keep himself steady.

You felt bad for him, but his behavior was so bizarre that it was hard to hide your smile at his expense. Who else would be trying to hide his illness so poorly? Only Charlie apparently.

“What if I help you take notes? We can… work together?”

As the suggestion hung in the air you felt your stomach twisting uncomfortably. What if he outright rejected the idea? He’s never been receptive to you before, why would it be different now? Because he’s weaker? At his wit’s end?

Because maybe his drive to succeed would force him to accept the help.

“Can you just… read to me? I’ll remember it.”

He looked exhausted as he met your eyes. You could see he really didn’t want to be doing this, he wanted to be entirely self-sufficient, as usual. He didn’t want to show weakness, not to you, not to anybody, and especially not to Merlin.

“Sure, Charlie. Just scoot over a bit so I don’t have to shout.”

He did, eyes focused on you as you set your books down on the table and pushed them across, stopping beside his own stack. As you took your seat beside him, he moved to lay back down, something you were not expecting.

“Charlie, are you okay?”

You wondered if he could detect the low undercurrent of panic in your voice. This was easily the closest you’ve ever been to him. It felt like something friends might do. Or…

“I’m fine. This helps.”

It was hard to ignore how close his head was to your thigh, it felt intimate and comfortable, notions you’d never assign to Charlie. Still, the urge to reach down and smooth your fingers through his soft hair appeared anyway.

As you opened the first book, he reached up to nudge a different one your way. “We ought to start here, when Kingsman was founded. I bet there will be at least a few questions on it.”

A quick glance down at him allowed you to see the remnants of a smile on his face. You returned your attention to the book, looking for a relevant section to begin reading from.

***

The bench had long ago been pushed back against the wall, giving you something to lean against as you continued reading. Charlie let his head rest in your lap as he laid on his side, one of his arms dangling down to gently pet Sam. At some point in the last four hours whatever invisible barrier that was between the two of you fell away.

He was sick and you knew his secret, that’s all it was, but still, the idea that he took some small comfort in using you for a pillow was nice enough. Because Charlie wasn’t close with anyone like that, at least not that you’d ever seen. Maybe he didn’t totally hate you.

“It’s almost time to head down there. I think everyone’s left already.”

“We missed lunch,” you added, closing the book.

Charlie turned onto his back, keeping his eyes closed for a second as he settled. Then he was looking up at you.

“What?”

He looked away, back towards Sam. “Nothing. Think I’m going to run outside for a minute with her, then the test…”

Before you could voice your agreement, he sat up. He started stacking the books but you reached over for them. “I’ll put these back.”

“Thank you.” His smile was the biggest you’d ever seen from him that wasn’t at someone else’s expense. It felt genuine. “Good luck.”

You were almost too dumbfounded by the shift in your relationship to say it back, but you managed to respond in enough time to avoid worrying him. He lifted his hand from the stack of books and stuck his hands in his pockets, walking out of the secluded area and on down through the main part of the library, a quick whistle getting Sam to follow behind him.

Once you felt like he was gone, you let out a breath you didn’t know you were holding, wondering what on earth went right to allow this to happen. You did your best to put a damper on your own rising sense of justification in your feelings towards him by reminding yourself of all the times he wasn’t so nice.

Your mind just went back to how it felt to have him lying there next to you.

You put the books away and let your own pup outside briefly before gearing up for the afternoon exam.

***

You were looking forward to more quiet closeness from Charlie, but the next few days kept the two of you apart. An unscheduled exercise, one that Merlin thought was immediately necessary, had all of you scattered in the woods nearby HQ with nothing in the way of supplies. You remembered the pain in Charlie’s face as he was separated along with Eggsy and Rufus, a group that you thought would be at each other’s throats by the end.

“The treeline is just ahead, we’ve made it,” Roxy announced, pointing towards the brighter section of trees. “I can’t wait to be clean again.”

“Me too,” you sighed, your steps feeling heavier than ever now that the end was so close.

As the two of you stepped out of the woods and onto the neatly trimmed green lawn, Roxy rested her hands on her hips. “I bet we’re the first ones out.”

“You’re not,” a voice called out from the left. As you turned you couldn’t even remotely hide your grin at the sight of a freshly-showered Charlie walking over with Sam. He looked better, or at least like he felt better.

He looked to you for a split second and the cockiness in his smirk subsided. You saw warmth in his eyes.

“I’m going to take a shower.” Roxy’s shoulders sagged in defeat as she walked across the lawn.

Charlie took a few steps closer, his hands in his pockets. “We were starting to worry, thought you all might’ve died out there, or had to resort to cannibalism.”

The teasing was there, but so was a certain amount of affection.

“Pretty sure I would taste horrible, so Roxy ought to consider herself lucky,” you joked.

“I’m not so sure about that.”

Mischief, pure mischief. You could hear his grin before you looked up at him to confirm it, face on fire. Had the situation changed so much that teasing finally evolved into flirting? And quite direct flirting at that.

“I’m not sick anymore,” he finally spoke up. “Got over it out there at some point, the fever finally ran its course.”

“Glad to hear it.” You didn’t know how to form thoughts anymore.

“Are you alright?” he asked, knowing full well why you weren’t.

“Yeah, why wouldn’t I be?”

In a completely uncharacteristic-of-Charlie move, he lifted a hand to brush at some dirt on your cheek, thumb smoothing over your skin in a decidedly intimate way. He was standing so close, looking down at you with that look in his eyes, it felt like the two of you had been together for years. An immediately familiar closeness.

“I never thanked you,” he breathed. “For helping me when anyone else would’ve given up. I’m stubborn, I know, I just…”

Instead of being able to tell him it wasn’t a problem, you just looked up at him, detecting the slow brightening of the sky as the sun neared the horizon. It had to be maybe five in the morning. You could feel the dew at your ankles. It was quiet outside, too quiet, save for the wind gently moving the trees behind you. Despite picking up on all these small details, you failed to notice his face nearing yours.

The two of you shared a quiet kiss outside, one where he made it clear how thankful he was, where you could feel that firm resistance fall away as he moved to pull you in closer. You finally ran your fingers through his soft brown hair, keeping him close. His large hands easily cupped your cheeks, making sure your face stayed turned up towards him.

“No offense, but you look like you’ve been stranded in the woods for a few days,” Charlie whispered. The two of you laughed. “Why don’t you come inside, clean up, and maybe share some breakfast with me?”

“I don’t get to sleep?”

He wrapped his arm around your shoulders and steered you towards the large manor. “Maybe we can find a quiet corner in the library? Bring some blankets?”

“Okay.”

He didn’t even bother to drop his arm as the two of you entered HQ.

*********

@alliedoolallie @shydragonrider

#charlie hesketh #charlie hesketh x reader #kingsman #writing #hope you like it

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elizabethrobertajones · 6 years

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Dean & Cas Are In Love

A hopefully one day conclusive study of these assholes, hopefully told as briefly as I can.

Written for the people in the fandom who care but sometimes need a pick me up on this, and not written to prove a point to anyone who doesn't already care. <3

Dean needs Cas to get Dick

... They boned him together.

Slightly less visually erotic and more punnery innuendo-y parallel of Sam and Dean killing Ruby together in 4x22 >.>

Anyways.

Season 7 ends, and this episode is dependant on the journey Dean and Cas go through to make amends. There is no formal goodbye or even good luck between Sam and Dean - their last conversation is about Bobby, and the funeral scene is their last real shared scene; after that it’s Dean n Cas paired together until the end.

But let’s start at the top :D

While Carver era isn’t utterly devoid of barbs like this, I’m honestly struggling to think of one that is so overt aside from the deleted 10x14 scene than Meg’s “he was your boyfriend first” line. I feel like this is the end of the really on the nose teasing and jabbing at them as if being in love is an insult, and the beginning of a more nuanced handling - and don’t worry, deleted scenes are on my to-do list as we get deeper into Wonderland >.>

Through Cas’s return, Meg has acted as a block and a romantic rival, in both overt and not so overt ways. She shows up to get between Dean n Cas having more private reconciliation and then seems to “win” who gets Cas, while admitting freely it’s a power grab and for her own protection against Crowley. By 7x23 she shows up fed up with Cas and unable to deal with him, handing him off to Dean to talk to and try and reason with him. Considering the ownership battle she conjured on her end, it has the feeling of conceding ground, and in this case she frames it in the romantic terms of Cas having been Dean’s boyfriend first. She treats it as if it were a fling and she is resigning from the competition to bag Cas as a boyfriend, and returning him to Dean. While she hangs around and helps some more, for the rest of the episode, she no longer hits on Cas or does more than look at him a few times, while Dean is left to deal with him.

The moment where Dean goes to talk to Cas in the car, I like that moment where Dean takes a breath... Those top two gifs have been thrown around fandom a lot out of context or for fun, but there’s serious stuff going on in them - as often with this show and/or fandom, the funny things have a real story to them. I like that Dean is still struggling to face Cas, but he will make the effort in a way that Meg clearly won’t, and talks him to come inside with gentle, friendly persuasion. But like with 7x21 before he goes to talk to him in the day room, he needs a moment to face Cas in this state, as he finds it saddening and troublesome to talk to him, though, unlike Meg, he makes an effort.

Then, we have their ongoing argument which builds up over the course of the episode, but by this point bubbles over about WHY they need Cas to get Dick. And why Cas has been resisting the entire time. His self-worth from the whole betrayal and Godstiel thing is obviously his most prominent, painful trauma. He has to spell out for Dean why he won't help, but this is the most clarity he shows in a while, and in this episode Gamble writes his non-sequiturs as very clearly labelled avoidance of questions or thinking about his problems. In 8x08 we'll get another look into his head when he talks about avoiding going back to Heaven with Dean, and I suspect that's based on the intention with how he was feeling during this time as well.

Dean responds by bubbling over with his own shit; this is for both sides of the argument, their stuff in 7x21 finally reaching its conclusion, and of course both are mis-handling it in some ways, through avoidance or anger, and are not at their optimal harmony... To be delicate about it >.> It's harsh to watch, but Dean's anger about Cas is not (just) selfish or motivated to save them - we see multiple times his own pain at seeing Cas in this state, and lines which betray how much it hurts and how he wants Cas back to how he was because, you know, Cas is his friend and he cares a lot about him. Translated into anger, he lashes out with his pain in the situation, the unfairness that Cas can avoid and refuse to help when he caused all that harm, and even to this day is something where Cas still feels bound to make amends for things that he broke - season 13 finally returning to the theme of how much damage he did to Heaven. Dean telling Cas this so harshly is the painful shock that pokes at Cas's guilt, but also betrays Dean's own pain and investment in Cas's situation.

As with moments when they physically attack each other, obviously emotional lashing out betrays care but shouldn't be like... romanticised and stuff. Just, taking this in a fictional story setting etc.

Anyways, after this, Cas goes into a defensive full denial mode for a bit, and they turn to doing Bobby's passing on; at the end of this scene, the camera dramatically pans to Cas with rising dramatic music, and it turns out he watched the whole scene. Of course though he was not a part of his, his presence is necessary and important, because he cared for Bobby too, and Bobby died fighting the leviathans, which Cas unleashed. This is part of his "mess" as Dean put it, and something he confronts, silently, on his terms. There's no camera work to suggest Dean sees Cas watching but I like to think that he does, as he was facing the right way, and between Dean yelling at Cas, and him going to him in peace, this is the only thing that happens. I think Cas's remorse is very important even though it may be silent, as is bridges these moments, giving Cas honest reflection which he can't divert from - seeing Bobby, someone he cared about a great deal, as a ghost that they're forcing to move on. And Dean knowing that Cas came and watched this and was a part of the family scene despite his current withdrawal from helping them.

Dean approaching Cas is wonderful because finally he doesn't demand Cas help them, but finds a peaceful middle ground of something Cas can do to help but that doesn't involve violence, meaning that despite all of Dean's anger, he wants to help Cas find a way to help them, to clean up his mess, but to do it on terms which Cas can handle. This peace also allows Cas to think about it in non-confrontational terms, and to face up to what sending Dean in to fight Dick alone will mean if he doesn't help.

The "I'd rather have you, cursed or not" line has been picked over a lot, both positively on gifsets and general squeeing, and negatively about its connotations that it can still carry a suggestion that Dean only wants Cas to help them because he's the only one who WILL help them, at this stage, and they know that they need him. I like the line after it better, as it's the much more personal appeal, the sense of them being in it together, and that it's not just anything - this is something that Dean feels as a connection between them. The less emotional pep talk and more personal nonsense the line, the more it really means, as he's not saying this in the same tone of voice as rallying Cas, just pointing out that they're all in shit creek together.

Cas understands what Dean's getting :D

I should have giffed as well, but no room and I have to make cuts somewhere, Cas asking about what the plan was - because the plan involves Cas being brought along PEACEFULLY, only for Dick identification, while Dean was supposed to be the one to fight Dick alone, Cas at his side, but the expectation was that Cas had one role and Dean had the other.

In the end, they tag-team him. :')

Also: Dean's absolute trust that Cas knows Dick when he sees him, and Cas defending Dean from Dick advancing on him, after all that stuff about not fighting, once again as with deflecting Hester away from Dean, he steps in to protect Dean, and even grabs Dick from behind so Dean gets his clean second shot at him that does the job.

Of all season finales, 7x23 really floors me for how embedded the Destiel narrative is in it, when this isn't even a majorly Destiel season for obvious reasons, and I never felt like Gamble wanted much to do with them in that sense. Whether it's just because of leading into Carver era or what, or the need to make amends both in the writing for Cas and in the meta level for the writers, once Cas was back this story was oh so very much about and for him, as he was the one responsible, and he had both emotional damage with Sam and Dean, and plot damage to handle. If he was to return as a main character next season and have even halfway a reboot back to a regular Cas, he needed a full redemption in the narrative, and to be brought back into play alongside Dean and back in his rightful place at his side. And this is the set up to get them there, from the awful mess left at the beginning of the season. :D

#Dean and Cas are in love #destiel #my stuff #lizbob gifs #7x01 #queue

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