just keep falling for
pairing: kuroo tetsurou x g!n reader
genre: fluff, best friends to lovers, mutual pining, boatload of an oblivious but perceptive reader, kuroo really doesn’t know how to get the obvious out and reader cannot really tell him they know what he means
notes: rewatching hq and i literally fell in love w everyone again — dedicated to all kuroo fans, not proofread at all
also i haven’t written in so long so my style is all over the place so pls critique me and also my hand slipped
reblogs and opinions are appreciated <3
kuroo was taking an awfully long time in the locker room.
standing in the gym, you watched as the first years helped with deconstructing the volleyball nets for the day. while you offered your help, they politely declined, suggesting you wait to accompany their captain out to advertise their great work.
normally, kuroo was quick. any jokes that happened inside the locker room were quick to reach your ears, and you knew how much he tried to include you in everything.
you leaned against the wall, watching the clock tick for a whole minute before opting to pace around the gym.
little did you know, kuroo was having a meltdown inside the locker room.
“kuroo!” yaku yelled, brandishing his towel. “you need to get a grip. stop freaking out. you’re supposed to be the composed one!”
“seriously kuroo,” kenma agreed, “why are you acting so surprised. it’s not like this is new news.”
“guys,” kuroo began, raking a finger through his hair, “this messes up everything.”
“is this about y/n?” lev asked, finally entering the locker room. “did kuroo finally do something about that crush?”
“enough!” kuroo sighed, sitting down at one of the benches. in the span of the last ten minutes, kuroo had one of the most dramatic realizations of his life.
he liked you.
you, his best friend and his other half. you, who cheered for him at every game and even lended him cool analogies to use in captains speeches. you, who stole his jacket and ran away from him, leaving him to chase you as far as the two of you could run.
he wasn’t sure what had changed. somehow, you’d entered his head, and with every pump of his heart, you sunk deeper and deeper into his bloodstream.
“did you seriously not know?” yaku asked gently, “because if you ask us, it was obvious from the very start. you hold them in such high regard.”
“i didn’t,” he admitted, turning to meet yaku’s eyes. “i didn’t know and now, i don’t know what to do. we’ve been friends for ages….i don’t even think they see me that way.”
“just tell them kuroo,” kenma said, not looking up from his console. “they like you a lot, they’re not going to say no.”
the team voiced their agreement, and began to file out of the locker room at last.
“sorry to keep you waiting,” he smiled, meeting your gaze as he walked out of the locker room.
“no problem,” you said, returning a grin of your own. “was there something going on in there?”
“nahhhhh,” he laughed, “someone was just having a meltdown about how to do a proper confession.”
“confession?” you rose a brow, and kuroo silently cursed himself for letting such a specific detail slip.
for a moment, you were stunned. as you walked, you considered all the possibilities.
you knew lev had been racking up quite the fanbase through his games, and you also knew how yaku was starting to branch out a bit more. if kenma had a prospective partner, you would’ve already heard of it by now.
unless…unless it was kuroo having the meltdown.
you pondered this detail as you walked out of the school doors, holding them open for your lanky best friend.
“hey dork,” you began, “who are you planning on confessing to? it was your meltdown, right?”
kuroo felt his heart drop in his chest. curse you and your quick connections.
“what makes you think the meltdown was mine?”
“because i would’ve known about everyone else,” you smiled confidently. “you would’ve told me.”
kuroo simply looked at you, distracted by your smile and the way it lit up your eyes. if only he could put it into words.
you had a way of making him nervous.
“i’d tell you details if you stopped smiling at me like that. too bright — it’s hurting my eyes.” he teased.
what he didn’t expect was for you to laugh and immediately drop your smile, transitioning to a serious face.
“tell me now,” you huffed, “i deserve to know who’s on your mind these days.”
he sighed.
if there was one thing worse than your uncanny ability to read his mind, it was the lack of that ability to tell that you were the only person he ever thought about.
kuroo got home, resting his bag on the floor of his room and immediately dialing kenma. he picked up in an instant, and kuroo couldn’t help but be thankful for his setter.
“kenma,” he sighed, “this is like one of your games. impossible.”
“let me guess. y/n didn’t catch a hint?”
“they know it’s me” he groaned, “they know i had the meltdown. they know there’s someone in my head. they keep trying to ask me who it is, but i can’t just say ‘it’s you’ can i?”
“being direct is actually a good idea.” kenma suggested, “go retry that level kuroo. maybe you’ll have some luck this time.”
with that, kenma hung up, leaving kuroo frenzied with an emotion that felt a lot like hope.
sitting and staring out the window, you wondered if now was a good time to acknowledge your growing crush on nekoma’s middle blocker.
he was everything you could ever ask for. thoughtful, sweet, laughably charming, and with a nerdy twist that made him a dork and undeniably your other half.
it didn’t help how handsome he’d become over the years either. he’d gotten taller and taller, his eyes golden and his hair endearingly messy. he was solid from all the days spent practicing, and after every embrace, you were left craving more.
as much as you didn’t want to admit your discomfort, the sensation hovered over you like a fog.
the idea of kuroo having feelings for someone else was bittersweet. you adored him — you really did, and his happiness was yours.
but….you couldn’t help but wish that you could both be happy. that he’d see you the way you’d always seen him.
someone to just keep falling for.
the next morning, kuroo came to grab you from your house for the daily walk to school. he’d made an effort to make sure his tie was on incorrectly in the hopes that you’d fix it for him.
you greeted him at the door, breaking into a grin upon seeing his disheveled state.
���come inside,” you sighed, dragging him by the hand into the foyer. he stood patiently as you reached for his tie, straightening out the edges and meticulously smoothing out the wrinkles of his shirt.
“it’s almost like we’re married.” he teased, happy at the flustered expression that shot onto your features. “what? cat got your tongue?”
“shut up tetsu.”
“i don’t want to.” he said, looking into your eyes. he hoped that there was something conveyed in the silent space between you. the tenseness was all but palpable.
“oh.” you whispered, cupping his cheek. “so this is your confession? a messy tie and a lot of cheek.”
“of course,” he smirked, “you’re the only person i’d do that for.”
©mysterystarz all rights reserved, please do not plagiarize, translate, or modify my fics in any way even if credited
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DECONSTRUCTING DAMASCUS #1
hello buckaroos chuck tingle here to talk on my book camp damascus. i am very ADVERSE to spoilers and even though i LOVE discussing art i never want to discuss a book too soon, gotta give buckaroos a chance to read. i have been trying to find a balance of WHEN and HOW to have these talks because there is a lot to discover in camp damascus, and i finally think i have found safe way to do this.
i am going to write some posts talkin about various subjects relating to camp damascus themes and symbols and ideas. i will title these posts DECONSTRUCTING DAMASCUS and give them all the hashtag: "deconstructing damascus". if you do not want to be tempted you can go into your tumblr settings and MUTE hashtag "deconstructing damascus" until you are ready to come back and trot in this way.
i am also going to put all spoiler content below a READ MORE line so that buckaroos will not stumble upon it. you must click below to open these words up.
(EDIT: PART 2 IS HERE)
(EDIT: PART 3 IS HERE)
(EDIT: PART 4 IS HERE)
alright buckaroos lets trot. WARNING: SPOILERS BELOW
DECONSTRUCTING DAMASCUS #1: NEVERLAND
camp damascus is about SEVERAL things thematically, but i think in BROAD STROKES you can narrow this story down to two ideas. the first is about control through infantilizing victims of religious or conservative organizations, keeping them 'young and naive' forever, and the second theme is about taking a story and using the same text to pull out whatever viewpoint you want. in other words, there are MANY readings within a story and us readers see whatever story we want.
i will dive deeper into these topics in later DECONSTRUCTING DAMASCUS talks, but both of these concepts relate in some way to THIS discussion, which is the story of peter pan and neverland
camp damascus is about text having many interpretations, and so as a sort of META ART PIECE i wanted camp damascus to have many interpretations. i did this by creating thematic layers on top of each other in the SAME STORY, like a cake. in the case of camp damascus we have BIBLICAL LAYER, FAIRYTALE LAYER, and LITERAL LAYER.
today we are going to talk about the fairytale layer.
peter pan is the story of wendy darling, who is whisked away to a magical place known as NEVER NEVER LAND by peter pan, who is an eternally young boy. nobody ever grows up in never never land. in camp damascus we have rose darling, who is a resident of neverton, a small town in montana where all of to children are kept young and naive to their own true adult nature for as long possible. this is done in many ways, for instance all of the KINGDOM OF THE PINE kids act and talk like teenagers when they are technically adults (rose is 20). they are all still in high school due to intervention of the church. the practice of oppressing someones natural sexuality and growth into adulthood a way of keeping them young and 'innocent'. the KINGDOM KIDS are perpetually stuck between childhood and adulthood. when you are reading the book, there should be something about this age and behavior discrepancy that feels a little strange.
to capture this effect i also tried to create a book that was both categorically YA (young adult) and adult horror. there are topics and conversations and situations that should feel like you are reading a 'younger book', then moments of violence and layers of complex themes that feel like an adult book. it should straddle this line in an uncomfortable way.
now to the story itself. camp damascus is NOT a retelling of peter pan in any way. the plots are not the same at all. however it uses peter pan as a literary allusion in order to discuss the themes listed above. these references are to reinforce the idea of keeping buckaroos young and under the churches control by any means necessary.
many do not realize that the original peter pan character was quite a bit more sinister than the cartoon version. here is a quote from the original text about HOW neverland worked to keep the lost boys young:
“The boys on the island vary, of course, in numbers, according as they get killed and so on; and when they seem to be growing up, which is against the rules, Peter thins them out; but at this time there were six of them, counting the twins as two.”
yes CAPTAIN HOOK is the big villain, but peter pan himself is just as brutal. this is where we get PASTOR PETE BEND, the current head of camp damascus. in his own way he is HIP AND COOL AND ETERNALLY YOUTHFUL just like peter pan, but he also falls into the roll of a ruthless captain who will do whatever it takes. to pull apart his name we have pete, as in peter, and bend. what is another word for bend? hook.
kingdom of the pine members wear a red band round their left wrist, which is where the hand of their prophet as severed. you can also note that when pete bend he uses a weapon he uses his left hand, which is pretty notable for someone who is right handed. consider where a certain captains weapon is permanently affixed.
also working for kingdom of the pine and camp damascus, under the direct orders of pete bend, is DR. SMITH. dr smith is a jolly henchmen with a white beard and glasses. despite his drab office he sits in a blue and white striped chair. i should also point out that a version of the name smee is smeeth. just SAYIN.
WILLOW is another interesting one. after her time at camp damascus she gets into photography. she turns to NATURE and TRUTH and as she takes these photos her finger is steady and rhythmic like a clock. click. click. click. click. click. could these photos eventually be the downfall of pete bend?
when we see willow early on she is drinking for a coffee mug with a certain reptile on it. her last name is crogall, which translates to the name of a specific animal in scottish gaelic. rose also goes to meet willow where she lives, one town over from neverton in a little village named lebka rock. i will let the buckaroos figure out what that means.
there is actually much more than this (who is saul for instance?) but i think i have said all that buds need to know to enjoy this layer.
thank you for reading. FEEL FREE TO REBLOG but try not to put spoilers in the tags. i will talk on OTHER aspects of CAMP DAMASCUS soon and i hope this has inspired you to look at the text in a brand new way. LOVE IS REAL
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